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#hes gonna realise im an asshole and im not worthy of him
luvlyhyunjin · 1 day
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omg i literally sent you an ask like two hours ago thinking "well this can't get any worse now we're gonna be so up from here on" AND IT SOMEHOW GOT WORSE?????? AGAIN I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START WOAH yeji having it out for y/n over something that happened years ago and that hyune obviously got over is just soooo.. like she has so many reasons to give y/n a piece of her mind for and she chooses /this/ hill to die on?? AND not addressing her directly???? babyyyy this ain't it!! i think this is also a way of evidencing how distanced yeji and hyune have grown more than the distaste that she has towards y/n, like she doesn't know about hyune and her's connection and where they stand as much as the others do bc yeosang drove her away from them all which is so sad :-( sometimes she frustrates me a bit but i have a lot of sympathy towards yeji especially in this situation bc i know how hurtful it is to feel ostracised from your close friendships due to a toxic relationship and trying to hold on to the things you knew about them while not realising that they've changed bc you haven't been there enough to witness those changes :-( idk if this was your intention when you wrote it but it's really accurate. i know there's a lot of bad blood between yeji and y/n, now more than ever with the yeosang situation 💀 but i really do wish they can have a heart to heart sometime bc both of them have been so wronged and hurt by evil men and idk if a friendship between them is possible tbh but i feel like they can find a support system in each other even if they aren't friends. i just want my girls to be happy and i know there's a long way to go but they both deserve healing smsm :-(
now WDYM MFS RAIDED HYUNE'S HOUSE OH MY GOD????? this is y/n's fuckass father FOR SURE his ass wants to play gangster so bad HE AIN'T SHIT!!!!!!! i'm so flabbergasted i swear i never saw this coming??? i never thought that bum would ever go to this length to try to impose control on his daughter like that man's crazyyyyy. at first i thought the raid was bc of yeosang but you know that man ain't got no friends and is a coward he could never pull up like this 😭 so that's why i think it's y/n's father who's behind this bc he wants to have his godfather moment for some reason 💀 yk how weird men go crazy once they realise they can't control the women they feel entitled to so i think y/n moving out made him feel some kind of way. i can't wait for that asshole's downfall i swear i'm praying on it im going to church over it im manifesting it 🙏🏻 unless hyune is onto something that we're not aware of??? which idk im not sure about that honestly but i didn't see like half the things that ended up happening coming either so you knowww im seated, hyune and hannie living with y/n will be so cute too!! we love to see domestic hyune+y/n content we used to pray for times like this 🥹 so we might be kinda up after all maybe
thank you sm for the update so soon!! you're working overtime for this and it's sooo appreciated you deserve the world fr 🫂🩷🩷
genuinely curious what made you think "its only up from here" cus... 🫡efuhhfihw fyi anon i take my angst tag VERY seriously 🧐 some may say i'm not trust worthy but i just like being unpredictable
about the whole yeji situation it is intentional yes! im so glad you noticed its kinda hard to write such subtle things in smau without it being in your face because it's one of those things that i want ppl to notice but sometimes im like ahh idk if anyone would notice, i think for her she obviously views y/n as a rival but because she's left out (hence jinnie growing more distance ever since yeo came into her life) she tries to attack y/n with the only available card she has which is "you did smth bad to my friend" bc she doesn't know anything else and she wasn't even there when it all happened she only got snippets from the story and from jinnie's side when he was still feeling resentful towards y/n and you see the difference in this specific subject between her and lix (bc lix was there) he gets their bond sm more and it's so much easier for him to not hold it against y/n
listen y/n's dad might be a little worse than her mom idk they're competing for that title rn, ty for being so kind baby as alwayys i enjoyed reading and im sorry for talking sm i just get excited about my characters🥰🥰💞💞
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vigilvntes · 2 years
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i saw the love language thing and i couldn’t stop giggling and swinging my legs so now i’m asking how would adrian be in a romantic relationship in general. i need someone else’s perspective on this cause all i have is him going absolutely feral when he sees u wearing any of his clothes 🥴
HELLO SO MANY THOUGHTS OK
so i think being in a romantic relationship would take a LOT for him to get used to. i don't think he's really used to having any tangible relationships outside of what he and chris has. he realises slowly that it's not just adrian against the world anymore and that he has to think and care and worry about another person and it's kinda scary at first, to the point where he considers backing out of it, but when you kiss him for the first time he realises that it's all worth it. his recklessness worries you, and it's only when he realises just how much he cares about you and worries about you that he kinda understands where you're coming from (just the thought of you walking home alone in the dark makes his heart DROP)
he would kill for you. like, literally kill someone for you. the asshole who's been bothering you at work? no problem babe. the guy who harassed you at the bar? oh, he's done. the only reason he doesn't kill them is because you would feel low-key bad about it (and he can't have his baby feeling bad) and honestly they didn't do anything worthy of death just yet in your eyes, so he holds off.
i think he loves the idea of having someone to come home to after a long shift / a night of vigilante business. just the thought of you in his bed, waiting up for him so you can fall asleep together warms his heart whilst he shoots a guy in the face for stealing from an old lady.
im gonna do it im sorry but i do think he would love seeing you in his clothes, but not in a sexual way that sends him feral (although when he's feeling particularly frisky then . yeah) but more in a "oh i've been gone all day and now i'm at home and they're wearing my clothes and they look so cute and they've been tHINKING ABOUT ME ENOUGH TO WANT TO WEAR MY SHIRT WHILE THEY SLEEP IN MY BED". i just think he would think it's the sweetest thing ever, and it would probably make him blush and kick his legs and twirl his hair if it was long enough
it takes him a while to get used to affection too i think?? the first time you hug him he probably freezes up and has no idea what to do or say. you two have to put some work in and figure out what's good and what feels right. i've said before but your hand in his hair while he rests his head on your lap or your stomach is his idea of heaven. it would have him practically purring in your lap
i think he's the caretaking type. always asking if you've eaten, when you ate, if you want him to make you something to eat, if you need help with anything, if you need him to run any of your errands for you or put gas in your tank. idk i just love the idea that he loves having another person to take care of. it can become overbearing sometimes but all you have to do is gently let him know that you can do whatever you're doing alone.
he loves it when you praise him for literally anything. like any little compliment that comes from your lips has his screaming and blushing and crying inside. call him pretty or baby boy or my love or even just telling him that he's the best has him absolutely wrecked. he likes to know that he's enough for you, and that he's getting things right. + bonus points for praising him during sex
speaking of sex perhaps a controversial hot take but i don't actually think he would care that much about sex. i think he talks about it a lot, especially with chris, because he just kinda goes along with whatever chris says (i can imagine chris has said something about adrian getting "some fuckin sweet pussy" and adrian just laughs awkwardly and is like "........yeah sweet pussy" like he DEFINITELY just picks up words from chris and repeats them bYE). if you want to have sex? cool, he's down. if you want to dom him? cool, he's down. if you want him to dom you? cool, he's down. vigilante suit stays on during sex? that's hot as fuck and he's so down. but if you just want to cuddle up in his bed and watch some shitty netflix horror movies he's so down for that. he'll take literally anything you give him he just loves spending time with you and wants to do anything to make you feel good
i think he would love to plan dates for the two of you. he's definitely the type to sit on pinterest ALL DAY looking at date ideas and then he tries to recreate them and gets frustrated because they don't look as pretty as they do on the screen but you don't care because look at how much effort he's put into it :( i think he would avoid fancy restaurants because he'd feel out of place so you two often find yourselves at the movies (because let's be honest, he's a film bro) or in the middle of a random field with a picnic blanket laid out.
if the two of you ever did go out to say, a bar, or something then i think he'd be low-key protective. not overbearingly so, but he would have his hands around your waist, or his hand in yours just so everyone knows not to fuck with you because you're his. although you can't even begin to count the amount of times you've had to slap his hand out of the air before he can punch a guy in the face for making disgusting comments towards you while he was in the bathroom.
i've said it before and i'll say it again, adrian would love buying gifts for you. not in the love-bombing kind of way, just because he genuinely adores the look on your face when he hands you a bag full of random shit he's found at the store that remind him of you or that would make you laugh. like beaded bracelets, dancing and singing soda cans, little house plants to put in front of the window in your room (DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON IF YOU HAD HOUSE PLANTS BECAUSE I JUST KNOW HE WOULD TALK TO THEM EVERY SINGLE DAY. HE WOULD BE LIKE "THE PLANTS LOOK SAD TODAY HAVE YOU SPOKEN WITH THEM?" LIKE THE WHITE QUEEN IN TIM BURTON'S ALICE IN WONDERLAND BYE). he just loves to make you smile, and even though you've told him time and time again that he shouldn't buy you gifts everytime he leaves the house, he just can't help it because you look SO CUTE when you open your little presents and smile at him like he's just given you the entire world when really it's just a pair of socks with dicks all over them.
ok last but not least becasue i have to stop here before i get carried away but adrian is the king of dad jokes. he just loves to make fucking awful, cheesy dad jokes that make your toes curl and have you hitting his chest gently and begging him to stop. "draw the blinds please" "get me a pen and paper and i will" 😐 "im hungry" "nice to meet you hungry, im adrian" 😐 "say it back" "it back" 😐 anyway that is all
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obeiii-mee · 3 years
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Could I request the brothers (and maybe Diavolo, if you're comfortable) reacting to a knightly/chivalrous m/c, please?
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I haven’t written Diavolo in a hot minute, I’m glad he’s being requested again. I’m guessing you mean an MC with the attributes of a knight? The same sort of mannerisms and traits and not an actual knight! MC? Lemme know if I did this ask wrong because I was low key confused lmao.
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The Brothers + Diavolo with a knightly/chivalrous MC:
Lucifer:
-He really didn’t like you upon first meeting
-He hated how he couldn’t intimidate you into not being a nuisance the way he could with most of his brothers
-But, to be honest, you had gained his respect rather early on
-I think, even though it may have annoyed him to no end, Lucifer was very fond of your bravery a lot of the times
-The way you would stand up for Mammon or that time you protected Beel and Luke from his outburst
-Courage is not a trait one would usually associate with humans, especially when more superior beings like demons are involved
-Your humility was also a characteristic of yours that he, surprisingly, was really fond of
-And your overall mercifulness was something to be congratulated as well
-I mean, him and his brothers put you through so much shit and for you to forgive and move on without an angry word at any of them kinda speaks on its own
-I think he understands, to an extent, the reason you’re so loyal to the people you care about too
-He has a certain devotion for Lord Diavolo and his brothers, more than he lets on
-To him, having someone like you around is something to be appreciated
-Because you are similar but also completely different and nothing like he deemed you to be at the beginning
-yo i think you remind him of himself back when he was angel tbh
-He’s sort of tired of saving your ass tho because you are very just, so you feel the need to help people all the time which leads to you getting involved in fights
-Bring him his 20th cup of coffee for the day please, it’s hard being a single father of 8 children (yes I’ve added Lord Diavolo he counts as one of the kids)
-He’s the definition of this incorrect quote I stumbled across a while back
- MC: “FIGHT ME RIGHT NOW!”
-Lucifer, from behind them “ Do not.”
Mammon:
-Ok so this random human comes to DevilDom and has the audacity to slap his hand away while he’s trying to steal from Diavolo’s castle????????
-“MC ya’re forgetting I’m a demon, my moral scale is wayyy different than yours-“
-“Put it back.”
-“......ok.”
-You’re coming at him with rightfulness and honor and your presence is gonna hit him like a truck
-Cuz he ain’t stealing anything when you’re around (lucifer uses this to his advantage ofc.)
-That was basically the only thing he disliked about you
-Other than that, after your first week in DevilDom, he thinks you’re a goddamn S A I N T
-Everytime you stand up for him when his brothers are being assholes-pls he melts into a puddle of goo from your perfection
-OOFFS AND ALL THOSE TIMES YOU GAVE HIM GIFTS BECAUSE GENEROSITY BBY
-Good thing he was wearing sunglasses, because holy fuck was he weeping under those Gucci shades
-He’s gonna give ya props for having the courage to stand up to him and his brothers
-Lucifer especially because big bro scary
-Think about it like this: literally every single one of them could have you seasoned and roasted for lunch, love
-And yet you still have the bravery to look them in the eye and tell them: “Ya’ll are dysfunctional as fuck and need family therapy.”
-Again, he doesn’t understand your morale, he’s the Avatar of Greed, if he sees something he likes or seems worthy of his presence, he takes it
-But with that look you’re giving him, he honestly feels so guilty he can’t help but put it back
-He also appreciates your patience with him when it comes to anything that involves him talking about his emotions and thought process
-Because at this point he is widely known as scum so-
-Ahhhh, in the end, he thinks you’re pretty badass for a human and would low key want to see you in an armour of sorts agajwhisebhwjwwhehgdhdh
-And he really likes it when you make the effort to open doors for him too but he’ll never have the nerve to admit it
Levi:
-Believe it or not, he warms up to you in less than a day...?
-It’s probably because he’s a navy commander and he’s used to having soldiers around and you sort of remind him of that
-Out of everyone, he reacts the least when he sees how you carry yourself because to him it’s second nature
-Even if he does tend to slouch most of the time
-Almost dropped to his knees and started worshiping you when you yelled at Mammon to give Levi his money back on your first day
-And then a friendship started to blossom (im not friendzoning y’all, relax)
-Levi has a tendency to just walk into your room with his laptop, point at the screen which is paused in the middle of an anime and go “Look, the protagonist is a knight. You’re also...really knightly. I like the protagonist. I, uh I like you too, I guess.”
-He loves how honest you are because he knows that no matter what you wouldn’t lie to him
-“MC, do you think I’m a yucky otaku?”
-“No.”
-“But-“
-“No.”
-“Oh ok.”
-But on the inside he’s like 🥰🥰💞💞💞💞
-I just think that a knightly MC would connect on an emotional level with Levi for a lot of reasons, idk
-He’s gonna be a sputtering mess when he realises how much effort you put into this relationship (platonic or romantic) and how loyal you are to it
-Like how you actually bother learning all of his stupid passwords because you are just as serious about them as he is
-He just crashed, give him a moment to reboot please
Satan:
-He takes a while to warm up to you because for some reason your overall demeanour reminded him of Lucifer lol
-He thought you might be just as stuck up as him
-It didn’t take him longer than a week or so to come to the sudden realisation that you are way more pleasant than his brother
-Like his daddy, you manage to earn his respect pretty quickly after that
-He just thought the way you handled everything that was thrown at you in DevilDom was very sophisticated but firm nonetheless, if that makes sense?
-Like, you weren’t itching to escalate fights or anything but your tone of voice could easily end a whole conversation if need be
-You were still a human of course, it would be real easy for some low rank demon to kidnap you or something
-But for some reason, your confidence seemed to intimidate a few of the weaker ones into leaving you alone
-Obviously, that didn’t mean you were completely safe or anything
-There were still others that could effortlessly overpower you
-Even so, Satan found it sort of reassuring that unlike some humans, you weren’t one to back down without a confrontation
-Don’t get me started on all those times you rebelled against Lucifer, because that’s what truly got him to get to know you better
-He found you pretty interesting and then that interest sort of evolved into actual fondness
-Another thing that caught his eye was that even though you have very strong feelings about justice and fairness, you are completely level headed most of the time
-And patience, while it’s something he can manage, is the one that he has been trying to control for centuries
-He learned a lot from you about behaviour, whether you intentionally taught it to him or not
-And if there is one thing Satan thinks highly of; it would be knowledge
-Therefore, from that point onward, your existence was so much more precious to him than your soul could ever be
Asmo:
-What can I say about our sweet Asmo?
-You could have the personality of a trashcan and he’d still love you
-You were so polite and honourable from the beginning to the point you managed to get the attention of the Avata of Lust himself????
-He thought you were pretty hot basically
-hoWEVER
-Your righteousness always sort of nagged him because he low-key believed Diavolo snuck in another angel into the program, I-
-And for some reason, your loyalty to everyone in general ticked him off immensely at the beginning
-Mainly because he recognised that’s one of the traits he lacks entirely and he came to the conclusion that he needs to revaluate himself on that one
-He is so desperate for your attention, he will tattle on his brothers just to get you to yell at them and then comfort him
-“MCCCCC, MAMMON STOLE MY NEWEST MAKE UP KIT AND IS ABOUT TO SELL IT ON AKUZON!”
-he is so petty istg
-Your nobility still catches him off guard every now and then
-Because you’ve been living with demons for so long and yet you’re still, theoretically speaking, pure?? get your head out of the gutter people
-He probably applauds you on the fact that you can even scare Lucifer on some occasions because imagine having a scarier death glare than the eldest prince of hell
-Asmo will personally buy you clothes that he thinks suit your “aesthetic” (wtf Asmo)
-Might’ve bought you a sword and then got shouted at by Lucifer because oops turns out it was cursed
-Again, supportive mom vibes
-“MC, do you know how stunning you look strutting around with that confidence of yours? Don’t get me started on your posTURE!”
-You pulled a chair for him once and he practically swooned lmao
Beel:
-He figures you’re really nice from the start
-Mostly because you kept running errands and opening doors for him even though he let it slip that he might lose control and eat you
-Like most brothers, he finds you comforting in a way
-Beel appreciates your honesty to him too because he can count on you to tell him when he’s doing something wrong
-And he sort of needs the validation that even though he blames himself for a lot of things that took place in the past, his brothers and you are more than ready to forgive him (even if they didn’t blame him to begin with)
-Rather than respect, Beel puts a lot of trust into you, which I would believe to be more intimate
-If it’s just the two of you hanging out, he has an easier time opening up about Lilith because he knows you would never judge him and respect his feelings enough to let him get it out of his system
-You always share your food with him and give him a bigger portion and he goes so soft-
-Like who allowed you to be this generous?
-Tbh, he thinks it’s sort of refreshing having someone like you around
-Beel has been surrounded by demons for millenniums now and he’s gotten used to their...uh ‘evilness’
-Ever since you got dropped off in DevilDom, you really stood out with your nobility and morals
-It was like a breath of fresh air in a way
-He may or may not believe you’re a good influence on his siblings-if you can even influence demons of all things
-I’m not saying he invites you to work out with him and give him honest criticism, but he definitely invites you to work out with him and give him honest criticism
Belphie:
-“Out of all the humans they could’ve chosen, they picked the most annoying one, oH MY FUCKING GO-I MEAN DAD-“
-You go up to the attic that one night after tricking Lucifer into vibing to some classical TSL tunes
-He spotted you and was immediately irritated
-Like, he KNEW you were going to be a pain in the ass just by judging your posture and how you carried yourself (very knightly)
-At the start, he’s even hesitant to lie to you because he had a suspicion you wouldn’t buy his bs
-(Spoiler alert: you didn’t but you went with it either way)
-It takes a while for you to forgive him when he literally fucking kills you because that was rude af but you got over it in time
-AFTER of the whole ‘Sorry-for-choking-you-can-we-be-friends-now’ incident, you still get on his nerves a lot but at this point, he believes that’s his punishment for being a murderous dickhead
-You don’t really piss him off tho, you just confuse him a lot
-Why are you so polite? You keep pulling chairs and opening doors for him??? Why are you treating him like royalty?? Stop it, he doesn’t want to be like Lord Diavolo (he def likes it when you do that)
-Pls stop dragging the poor man to breakfast, he just wants to sleep in-
-He doesn’t understand how you’re always one time for everything
-My dude tries to wake up 20 minutes early to get somewhere in time and he is still 2 hours late
-sTOP TRYING TO FORCE YOUR IDEALS ONTO HIM, HE’S A LITTLE SHIT WHO ENJOYS WATCHING PEOPLE SUFFER
-All the same, you’re a very forgiving person so he’s just grateful you don’t hate him or anything
-And in the end, it doesn’t really matter how much your chivalry and righteousness and all of that pisses him off every now and then
-Because he can’t deny the fact that you brought him and his brothers the peace they needed
-And he so loves it when you and Lucifer go head to head mhmm
Diavolo:
-This big tittied man right here takes a liking to you immediately
-A couple of days in DevilDom and he’s already inviting you for tea at his castle
-You managed to befriend the prince of hell faster than the demons you live with, huh
-He’s lonely ok? He loves having people over and having cozy chitchats
-Not to mention he thinks you’re such pleasant company!
-Most demons would be afraid to even say anything in his presence but you always speak your mind while continuing to be respectful and he’s so happy, you don’t understand-
-Only demons in close relations to Diavolo like Babrbatos and Lucifer actually know how much it takes for someone to anger him
-He doesn’t take offence to much lol
-And he’s really content that you acknowledged that
-He sometimes visits you in his spare time just to talk and hang out since Lucifer is a big meanie who doesn’t want to indulge him and Barbatos is busy making him dinner >:(
-SPEAKING OF- if you and Barbatos don’t bond then i don’t know what to tell you
-I mean, you would both have so many things in common (strong sense of loyalty, honesty, just in a way etc.)
-You’re his favourite guest to have over at the palace, sorry Luci you’ve been replaced
-He genuinely finds you interesting as well so please tell him stories from the human realm!! He’s dying to learn more!
-Diavolo notices you demeanour sort of gives off warrior vibes so-
-He really considered making you into a knight bc it’s Diavolo-what he says; goes
-“I know they’re human but they’ll be fine. Look how tough they are! They managed to survive a year with you and your brothers didn’t they?”
-“My Lord, that doesn’t amount to anything, please don’t get our human killed-“
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gwoongi · 4 years
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wordless pt.1
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jeon jeongguk / reader genre: hitman (john wick?) au, sugar daddy au, fluff, pining, angst rating: mature words: 4.1k warnings: mentions of blood and violence, unconventional relationship, angsty themes, smoking mention a/n: this is jeongguk as john wick because i’m trash and i cant finish one story at a time. these prompts r from here btw :) im gonna do all 50 but im too lazy rn so here’s the first 10 :D
Sometimes, saying “I love you” is inappropriate, and given your circumstances, you think it might send Jeongguk over the edge if he hears them again.
Parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five
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Now, it definitely was not a stretch to assume that everything in Jeongguk’s life was indeed unconventional. People didn’t need to understand that what Jeongguk did for work was something that, by the law, was considered unprofessional and inhumane, and so when asked, Jeongguk sufficed for “boss of a company”, and questions weren’t asked. If they were, Jeongguk came up with a slightly more conventional lie, to make up for the reality that was Jeongguk working on the clock, killing nobodies for a bit of cash.
Taehyung, his right-hand man, had expressed how unconventional Jeongguk seemed to be over a dinner in Venice, a little restaurant tucked away unconventionally in a street that did not belong to America. Jeongguk spoke four languages comfortably, and had parents retiring in the Canary Islands. Jeongguk donated money to women’s charities and mental health services, and helped bribe his cousins into Ivy Leagues when racism prevented them from entry. Jeongguk was a Joe-Exotic in the making and owned a rescue black panther named Elio, and had houses across the globe for use when working. And, Jeongguk was dipping his toes into playing house with a sugar baby who was only five years younger than him, of whom he had met in a stakeout which involved the hit being on your brother’s head. Unconventionally, you led him to his target, and afterwards, dined with him in a Thai restaurant.
Things in Jeongguk’s life were far from ordinary, but perhaps it was the denial of mundane comforts that kept Jeongguk going. If he went back to normality, to working a shitty customer service job like when he was seventeen, dumping trash into overflowing piles behind the off-license he worked at, things wouldn’t be the same. Jeongguk would feel alien, like he didn’t belong. At least here, amongst the pain and the bullets and the years worth of trauma packed in his wrinkles (which, yes, if he looks hard enough, he can see some cursing his twenty five year old skin), Jeongguk felt like he sort of belonged. In an unconventional way.
Having met Jeongguk during his line of work, there were difficulties in being Jeongguk’s sugar baby. For one, he always felt guilty for having murdered your brother, even though you heavily supported the hit. Your brother was a jerk, a bully with money, someone who had wronged your entire family, turned off your younger sister’s life support when there was a chance of her survival. Asshole, he deserved it. Secondly, Jeongguk was impractical and irrational and often acted selfishly, meaning he was often out of the country on work, only available in whispers for a few hours and then he was gone, compensating with a few sums of cash.
He tried his best. Jeongguk, despite technicalities including his work and his past and his occasional mean streak, genuinely cared about other people. When he could, he made the effort, otherwise not attempting to make promises to you that he could not keep. Jeongguk knows that he got really lucky when he found you. You didn’t ask questions. Nobody was better for him.
However, Jeongguk was selfish, and broken, and in refusal of fixing what was wrong with him. When it was of convenience, Jeongguk drew comparisons to the last girlfriend he tried to entertain. One who wronged him, and died when he tried to repair everything she had destroyed. Jeongguk carries that with him like the tattoos on his skin, a permanent memory, and something that often disturbs what could be and should be between the both of you.
Jeongguk is worthy of love, and capable of loving. On days where Jeongguk is free to lounge without the guilt of not working, you find it is so easy to love him. But, it can’t be that way. You couldn’t just tell him that. Telling him that you loved him would be inappropriately unconventional. Sometimes, saying “I love you” is inappropriate, and given your circumstances, you think it might send Jeongguk over the edge if he hears it again.
(1) Holding their hands when they are shaking.
Jeongguk is in his living room, his right leg bouncing like a spring as he cradles an infant glass of whiskey. His eyes are glazed, yet wide, staring at the Seoul city draped in darkness and neon, and without even looking inside, you know that his brain is spinning, thoughts chaotic and loud.
“Hey,” you call out to him, and his eyes stutter to the left to catch you in the doorway, “I heard you get up. What’s wrong?”
Jeongguk shakes his head gently. “Nothing, baby, go back to bed. I’ll be up in a minute.”
Jeongguk often makes comments without expectancies. You stand in the doorway that connects the living room to the long hall that stems into bedrooms and bathrooms, and watch him for a moment. His whole body vibrates like a speaker, his hands trembling as the glass drains and he reaches for a second, or a third, or maybe a tenth. You want to sigh, without being patronising, but you know that any sign of sympathy is mistaken for that whenever Jeongguk is around to make the judgement.
He looks back to the skyline and frowns, his attention panning from the window to his phone that buzzes blue, but he ignores. Stepping across the cool wooden floorboards, you approach him sleepily and take a seat next to him on the sofa. Neither of you move, but he recognises you’ve moved. He bristles slightly, like it was unexpected.
“You can take your time,” you suggest to him, and his hands ache in his lap as he sets the glass down on the coffee table with a careless thud. He scoffs, devoid of emotion, and dips his head so his chin is near his collarbones. In his lap, those hands shake. “Maybe don’t drink so much tonight.”
“I’m clearing my head,” he insists weakly. Those hands still shake.
Brows creased with a pinch, you swallow the unease and reach for his hands. Jeongguk doesn’t say anything as you do so, enveloping his hands in yours, and so suddenly the shaking ceases. Like trying to block the shakes from reaching his wrists, your hands keep his safe.
“I know,” you understand honestly, because you do know what he’s going through. “How about tea, or something? To calm down, calm down the mess that’s up in there.”
Your chin is on his shoulder, and he smiles softly. “Are you calling me messy?”
“Nah, I’m calling your brain messy,” you reply. “It’s a cruel fucking brain.”
“Hate my brain.”
“Today, we hate it.”
Jeongguk’s head turns slightly so that he can see you, and in his lap, his thumbs brush across your skin.
“Thank you,” Jeongguk says quietly, attempting a smile that doesn’t quite convince. It doesn’t necessarily have to, not tonight anyway. His phone continues to flash like a light show, Taehyung’s name in bold. “Fuck. I’ll take the call, and then I’ll come back to bed, okay?”
You nod, “Mm, okay. Want me to make a drink?”
“I don’t need it,” Jeongguk concludes. “Not today.”
(2) Tucking the sheets around them when they stir during the night.
Sometimes Jeongguk wakes up in the night due to nightmares, but tonight, it’s different.
Beside him, you stir uncomfortably and kick his leg for the fourth time. He huffs and looks over, trying to figure out if you’re awake and indignant, or lost in the dream. He settles on the latter when you strain out the name of your brother and his heart swoops with a dull ache.
“You’re just dreaming, baby, come on,” Jeongguk mutters quietly into your ear, holding you in place to calm the thrashing. “He’s not here anymore, I’m here. Y/N.”
It subsides after a few minutes, making it the longest you’ve gone on record. He looks into your sleepy, upset eyes as you break awake and brushes the hair out of your face. He tries to smile for you, and maybe you can’t see in the dark.
“I’ll get you some water,” Jeongguk suggests gently. “Hm? Sweet thing. It’s just a dream.” He says this into your hair in a hug, leaving a kiss on your temple as he breaks. “You’re fine.”
“I’m fine,” you breathe uneasily, and he separates to get a glass of water and returns to find you sleeping again. What relief Jeongguk might have is exhaled as he sets the glass on the bedside table, stroking your hair until he moves away with the sudden realisation that this is not a normal exchange.
Before Jeongguk decides to leave again, he makes sure the bed is made and that you are safe; he tucks the duvet in tightly and presses a kiss to your forehead before grabbing his coat by the front door and leaving your apartment, one tucked in the city so far that Jeongguk finds it a hassle to visit.
(3) Travelling long distances just to see them.
For three days now, you have been in Colmar, and Jeongguk is beginning to feel lonely. It had been his idea to send you away, when the heat on his long, long fued with a rival colleague threatened your safety. In return, you got a new apartment that Taehyung had found closer to Jeongguk’s own when your address got leaked, and Colmar could be considered a vacation if you pretended for long enough.
With tensions cool and the coast somewhat clear, Jeongguk picks the skin around his fingernails as a distraction before deciding that enough was enough. He missed you, and missed how you were always around for him when he needed you most. This is what drives him to jumping on a plane in his company’s name, and flying to France.
A small boat passes underneath the bridge you are standing on, and your hands dig into the barrier as you arch to smile at the tourists beneath. One catches a glimpse of your denim skirt and cherry print blouse in the sunshine and extends his hat with a wave, and you wave back. France is nothing like Seoul, and is indeed warm and fruitful and unique. The sun is hot, the sky is clear, and the streets are filled with an atmospheric buzz of friendliness, the smell of coffee and some food you don’t know yet entrapping your senses.
“Madame, je peux vous prendre en photo?”
Hearing the voice, you turn your body left and prepare to face the tourist, but instead you are welcomed with the sight of Jeongguk dressed in black, sunglasses sliding down his nose with a smile. He does hold a camera in his hands, although teasingly.
“Oui,” you quip, posing cutely and Jeongguk takes a photograph anyway, to humour the moment, to print when he gets back to Seoul. You join his laughter as he peers at the photograph and he walks without looking up towards you.
“When did you get here?” you ask him, a round of laughter from the little boat making you turn to stare at them with a giggle.
“Bout an hour ago,” Jeongguk replies, and he shuts off the camera and puts it in his coat pocket. It’s only a small camera, probably cost him a crumb to buy from a vintage store. He meets your eyes with a comfortable smile and rounds in, pressing your lower back against the bridge barrier and circling your arms around you. Carefully, then, he kisses you, tasting the suncream on your skin as his lips wander from yours to the skin around your face.
“Miss me?”
“Terribly,” Jeongguk responds. “I am so bored when you’re not around. You always have something to do, always have something to say.”
You hum in response. “I’m glad I’m of some entertainment for you.”
“Oh, for sure,” agrees Jeongguk. “I don’t think I’ve used my brain so often when I’m away from work as much as I do when I’m with you. Did you know that you’re one of the smartest people I��ve ever met?”
“Wow,” you exclaim with a smile. “Hire me.”
“Ha!” he remarks, kissing you again and taking your hand in his. He moves, back in the way you came. “Over my dead body.”
(4) Making their favorite meal when they are having a hard day.
“You.”
“Not now, Y/N, I’m working,” Jeongguk replies non committedly. He fists his hair.
“Not up for discussion right now,” you huff, and he has the nerve to glare at you which only makes you uncomfortably angry. “You haven’t eaten in fourty eight hours, and I’m not about to be held responsible for your death when you die of hunger, so get your ass in the kitchen before I dump this food over your stupid head.”
He challenges you. “You’re brave talking to somebody who could destroy your life like that.”
“Do it, I literally have nothing to lose,” you answer. “Please eat something. I made it with love and care.”
Jeongguk relents, sighing at his paperwork but nonetheless moving away from his home office and following you like a child towards the direction of the kitchen. He feels bad, you know he feels bad, and he circles his arms around your body as you walk, stumbling into the space of the kitchen and smelling the familiar aroma of pork rice stew. Alas, he sees the bowl steaming in his spot at the table and his eyes follow you as you hum and set start to washing the dishes.
“Y/N-”
“No words, just eating,” you instruct. “Bone apple tit.”
He grins, then, and takes a seat. “You know that’s not the phrase, right?”
“Tell that to Twitter,” you sigh.
(5) Giving them a kiss before going to work and they are still in bed.
Jeongguk prefers to see you when he doesn’t have work the next day, because leaving when you’re asleep is an asshole move in any dictionary. So, when one of his men phones him at four in the morning and relays the horror that someone’s died on his property, Jeongguk has to fight the demons that almost convince him to hand the job over to somebody who gives a fuck about the intruder stuck on his barbed fence.
He gets up, anyway.
Next to him, in the bed that belongs to you because this is your new apartment, Jeongguk stares down at you and feels a tug in his stomach. Guilt, it follows him everywhere like a ghost.
Before he leaves, he likes to give you a little kiss for the morning, so the tingling sensation reminds you that despite being an asshole and leaving without properly saying goodbye, he still gives several shits about you, and will be back when he can be.
(6) Tucking your head into their neck during a hug.
Jeongguk wants to hang Taehyung for making him remember the reasons why you had to move across the city to a new apartment.
It had, of course, been Jeongguk’s fault, and when the notification came from an exhausted worker in his line of work that the alarm system in your apartment had been triggered for an intruder, Jeongguk remembers all he saw was red.
The front door was forced open, a body indent in the wood and the front porch ransacked and littered with shards of glass and bullets. Inside was no prettier, with mess scattered everywhere and photos smashed on the floors. The carpets were stained with red that Jeongguk prayed was just wine, the glass coffee table in two pieces and a knife covered in red on the floor. Jeongguk and his men, along with the few police officers Jeongguk could actually trust in this god-forsaken hellhole, noticed that the blood belonged to one of the intruders who lay dead on the stairs.
Nobody knows how Jeongguk got through the apartment so fast, and why, without any hesitation, he murdered the remaining intruders without suggesting questioning and torture. That was his go-to when it rarely concerned you. He wanted those stupid enough to even try and go after you to really fucking regret it as he picked off fingernails and made them suffer for hours or days. This time he just killed, and moved onwards, calling your name like a mantra.
Jeongguk could have cried when you emerged, petrified, from inside one of the closets. Upon seeing you, Jeongguk collapsed his gun on the floor and stepped towards you protectively, pulling you in tightly for a hug. Sobbing into his neck, you hugged him tighter, feeling finally safe when his hand held the back of your head, like you were a precious thing that was of value.
You were of the highest value to Jeongguk.
“Fuck you,” Jeongguk barks suddenly, and Taehyung shrugs and exits the office. All he had asked was if he loved you.
(7) Lightly kissing on top of a freshly formed bruise.
There might be the assumption that Jeongguk comes home with more bruises than you do. Which is true, technically, and there’s no hesitation from your end in nursing them to a comfortable recovery.
On rare occasion, Jeongguk comes home and finds you exhibiting a new purple blob on your skin. Like today. 
Jeongguk hasn’t seen you in two days, and when he lets himself into your apartment with the key he has glued to him at all times, he follows the silence and light to the bathroom. You sit on the edge of your bathtub, gently rubbing cream on your knee in little circles.
“What happened here?” he asks quickly, and you continue rubbing with your tongue poking out between your lips.
“You’ll laugh, don’t ask,” you mutter.
“Hey, I won’t laugh,” Jeongguk says. He rests his weight against the doorframe, “You open the front door the wrong way again?”
Ha! You laugh humourlessly. “Worse!” You look up at him sadly, “I tripped in the parking lot carrying my groceries. It’s on camera and everything, I want to die.”
Jeongguk pokes the inside of his mouth to resist laughing. “Well, fuck. That’s your leg ruined.”
“I know,” you pout. “Good thing you’re my sugar daddy- wanna pay for cosmetic leg surgery?”
“I like your bruised up legs,” says Jeongguk.
“Me too, but not these ones.”
“Bruh, that’s enough cream on your skin,” Jeongguk exclaims, moving forward to snatch the cream from your hands. “More is not better. Come on, you’re okay.”
“It hurts.”
“Boohoo,” he sighs. You don’t move. “Ugh, whatever. Come’re.”
Jeongguk drops the cream tube onto the sink but it clatters into the bowl. He’ll move it later if he remembers to, and he pretends it’s hard to pick you up off the bathtub and carries you swiftly out of the bathroom and into the living room. Things have barely moved since he last came to visit; the swarms of paper still invade your coffee table and your laptop is on sleep mode by a half-empty coffee cup filled with hot chocolate, because he knows your standing on coffee. Everything is a lot messier now that you’ve decided you want to go back to school, but at least Jeongguk knows it keeps you busy when he’s away.
“Oh,” he says suddenly, as you’re sat down with one leg up around him still. He pokes at a spot on your leg and you squirm, “there’s another one.”
You peer to look, “Oh, yeah, that one’s you.”
“Oh.” He pauses, “Pretty, though.”
You huff like a little baby and he dares you with raised eyebrows. That keeps you silent and Jeongguk moves his body at an angle to the right, sweeping to kiss the bruise better, the bruise that he made a few nights ago with tender love and care.
“All better,” he assures.
“It feels better already.”
“Mm. Magic.”
(8) Buying them something unrequested because it made you think of them.
“So, I was at a school fayre today.”
“Really?” Jeongguk sits with his laptop on his legs, and your legs are tangled around his body like some sort of jungle maze. He rarely works on his bed, not unless the work is sudden and he can’t help it. You’ve just come in, dived on the bed and claimed his waist as something to squeeze your legs around.
“Yep. Like, one of those little craft things where students sell their shit and make money from it. You know, supporting local artists! It’s really cute, if I was good at something I’d have participated.”
Jeongguk thinks of things you’re good at, and there’s a lot. “Aw. There’s always next year.”
“Yeah,” you reason. “Anyway- point is, is that I got you something.”
Jeongguk stills for a second, glancing over his right shoulder to see you, “Me?”
“Yep. You.”
“What did you get?” he asks, and then he’s back to checking blueprints.
You untangle your legs and slide off the bed, retreating to your bag slung across the room by the bedroom door. From here, you take out a small little pin-badge and when you’re sat next to Jeongguk again, you fiddle with it until it catches his attention.
“What’s this?” asks Jeongguk.
“It’s a badge of honour,” you claim, and you slip it into his palms. He fingers the front when he examines it, reading the little words of “Number One Dad” and he stares up at you. “Like it?”
“It’s for me?” he asks again.
“Yeah. You can wear it and like, I don’t know, think of me,” you shrug.
Jeongguk thinks for a moment. Even though it’s stupid, and cliche and a little bit embarrassing, he still thinks it’s funny and thoughtful.
“Want me to wear it to work?” he asks you.
“Oh, absolutely,” you encourage. “I’ll get Taehyung an uncle badge if he gets pissy.”
“Hey, you’re mine and he’s not allowed a relationship to you, no matter what definition,” Jeongguk pouts. “He wants a sugar niece, well...he’ll have to look somewhere else.”
You gape. “Wow. Who thought you had it in you to be so possessive.”
“Please, with a pussy like that of course I’m possessive,” he teases. He’s joking.
“My power,” you sigh anyway, and jump off the bed claiming that you’re hungry. Jeongguk looks at the badge again and pops it in his breast pocket before he loses it and regrets it.
(9) Participating in their hobby even if it doesn’t personally interest you.
Jeongguk’s bored out of his brain.
He has no idea how you can be so fascinated by this stupid game where you’re essentially in debt, but he still sits and watches you tour him around this weird island that is inhabited by ducks and an ugly gorilla villager dressed in pink. And to think that he had a part to play in all of this, because his bank account definitely helped pay for this Nintendo Switch and game.
“Do you like my beach?” you ask him. It’s literally just sand and one coconut tree, and a few shells by the water. Oh, there’s a beach chair on there too, but it makes little difference. “I’m poor, I can’t afford furniture yet.”
“Can’t you just make it?”
“I can, but I’m sick of making axes to collect wood,” you explain with a grudge against the fact that tools now break in this Animal Crossing game. Jeongguk hums like he’s invested, and he tries to be, because he cares about you too much to unintentionally hurt your feelings by displaying his crippling disinterest.
“Oh. Makes sense.”
“Can I show you my hybrid flower garden?”
He sighs. “Yeah, you wanted to show me all of your island, right?”
You nod enthusiastically. “Once you’ve had a tour, I can make you a profile and you can play too. You can live next door to me!”
“Why can’t we share a house?” Jeongguk presses.
“Because I don’t think it works like that, babe,” you confess. “Anyway. Here’s my garden.”
(10) Sitting in comfortable silence while eating a meal.
He’s tired. You’re tired.
The radio plays quietly updating Seoul on the fires that spread across the city today, and Jeongguk smells like smoke and salt. He keeps his head down as he eats his meal, something he brought home with him to make up for the fact that he’s been absent for almost a week now. You have so many things to say and he has so many things he needs to say to make up for everything, but nothing is said tonight.
You know he’s having a hard time, because Jeongguk’s been smoking again. He smoked on the balcony earlier, and once again in the bedroom. There are now ashtrays around your own apartment, and you don’t even smoke. Jeongguk takes a drink of bourbon and swallows it dry.
You look up at him from across the table, not wanting to press the issue when you know it’ll end in an argument, and then sex to make up for it. You’re both too tired to fuck today, too tired to speak. Just being in each other's company is enough for tonight. The only words he says are goodnight and something you don’t catch as you’re drifting off to sleep. Jeongguk’s awake all night, the fires burn until early hours, and the smoke smell is still there in the morning even when he isn’t.
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gaykey · 3 years
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i thought nothing could hurt me the way ep4 of itsay hurt me but then ep4 of ipytm happened. The fact that oh aew even tried to get past the kiss and the things he read on the log diary... how he kept following teh’s gaze when he was always looking for jai... when he hit teh with the fucking bouquet!!!!!!!!! He was so devastated and so was i, honestly. It was humiliating to witness, painful to watch, how teh acted like he wasn’t even there, too wrapped up in his own infatuation with jai to care about anything else around him. I honestly have 0% simpathy for teh, he deserved jai’s reality check and to feel like a miserable shit for what he did to oh aew. The fact he’s so quick to move on and accept his management suggestion to delete his coupley photos is just the proof he’s an immature self centered asshole who has no business being in a relationship with someone as committed as Oh Aew. Now i just hope Oh Aew finds someone better (Q? Bas?) and rubs it in his stupid face 😤 fuck im mad mad 😭
itsay anon, i was waiting for you to watch this week's ep!
yeah, 100% same for me.
during the karaoke scene, i literally had to cover my eyes, because it hurt so much. the audacity of teh! humiliating oh aew right there, in front of everyone. BLATANTLY gazing at another man, that's his bf caught him kissing, whilst he's singing a love song, with his boyfriend.
like oh aew said, does he think he's stupid? that he won't notice what's happening? and this was after oh aew forgave him for the kiss (after jai, the absolute arsehole, tried to gaslight oh aew and be like 'it was just workshop' i mean, it was, at we later found out, because jai's a manipulative prick, but, he knew what teh thought it was!)
my phone keeps autocorrecting 'jai' to 'jail' and it's so right for that.
but god, the way the sound cut, and camera turned to oh aew's crying face, oh man.
and then, the break up scene.
we knew it was coming, but, i still was not prepared for the hurt.
i do feel a bit sorry for teh, i can't help it, especially with the way he was crying and clinging to oh aew, but he's just, so STUPID.
and he knew it too after, when he was talking to his roommate, and realised that oh aew, was not only his partner, but literally the best friend he's ever had. and now he's fucked it.
i want oh aew to find someone else, and i love Q, but i love the sweet friendship dynamic of the group more, so i'm prefer if they kept their platonic relationship.
god, that scene where they're all cuddling oh made me tear up. one of the best queer friend groups i've ever seen portrayed in a show tbh
and though i'd love to see bas return, i want oh aew to find someone entirely new. i want him to be spoiled and shown that he is more than worthy iof being loved. shown that he's hot, and sweet, and devoted and kind-
basically i want him to have his pick of hot guys lmao
once again, teh is stupid.
he's just gonna go along whatever these management people tell him because he's selfish, and so fixated on his dream if being an actor.
i fear shit will hit the fan for him even more.
at this point, i wouldn't even mind if they didn't even get back together.
it would be a way more impactful ending i think.
people grow and mature, and drift apart. things change. people change. sometimes relationships don't work out, even if you do love each other. life gets in the way. right person, wrong time. that kind of thing.
this show man.......
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chumpmagump · 7 years
Text
quiet ‘’ Nice guy’’ manipulators
alright so, I NEED to get this off my chest. I was at the airport the other day and this guy i’ve seen a million times elsewhere starts up a conversation. Casual until he says ‘’ I can’t read you, usually i can read people but i can’t read you’, what are you into?’’ I sort of felt like hm okay analysing me? Lol, fair enough i told him my interests and we exchanged facebooks.  I sit in my seat and realise he has already sent me a message. I think to myself oh man he’s ‘’interested’’. and i’m not. 
Anyways i don’t reply for a while not wanting to be eager. I get to my destination, drive home and then reply, turns out he lives near where I’m staying for a few weeks. Says we should hang out or something along the lines of that and compliments my appearance. I say i’m not looking for anything, I’m going through some stuff.  At this point he makes the whole ‘’ Oh I didn’t mean anything by it!’’ comment.  and i go a long with it in my head im like uhuh well your gonna just have to prove yourself.  So a conversation starts , and all the questions are related to my history. He wants to know my troubles, what i do, what im into, do i have wounds, what is that I want to do in life. I answer the ones im comfortable with and i don’t go into anything i don’t want to, which is mainly the emotional stuff.  He says well I’m here when you want to talk about it. 
OKay so i’m getting warning signals already. Why would he want to know so much about a total stranger and further more be there for them? I ask him why he says ‘’ You’re really interesting’’. Okay so conversation goes further and i find out he likes being there for his friends because he feels special, a sense of worthy. It’s almost like to me... he enjoys basking in others emotional wounds and gaining a sense of self gratitude. I say to him ‘’ doesnt that drag you down a lot?’’ and he again answers something a long the lines of it makes him feel good helping others. He gives me another compliment on my appearance. Alright so clearly he is buttering me up by now because i have rejected his question to open up my wounds to him.  I also feel pretty done right about now, i reply less and less. It’s almost as if this guy wants to know everything about me and I’m meant to go a long with the reason being I’m interesting? I feel kind of interrogated, i mean this isnt how emotional healthy people make friends.  So moving forward, We talk about interests, i mention i write poetry. He says oh youll have to show me sometime :)’’ I say ‘I only really post on my tumblr , i dont really share it’’. ‘’ He says ‘’ Privately or publicly?””
I say “ publicly... but im not friends with anyone in real life on my tumblr really’’ he says ‘’ Well when your comfortable :)’’ I push my point ‘’ I only share it with my partners really that’s it, i wouldn’t hold your breathe’’. He says ‘’ That’s okay but I still hold hope :)’’ Okay so this already is a nice guy tactic of disrespecting me through reiterating the point of how he would ‘’hope’’ he sees some emotional vulnerability of me.. He feeds off it and will push people into opening themselves up prematurely so he can worm himself in society as ‘’nice guy’’ ‘’ guy who doesn’t act like your exes’’ ‘’ guy who can save you’’.  At this point i just stop replying shortly after. the next day greets me with a good morning and i reply expecting it to be short lived. Then i kinda get hope because the conversation doesn’t feel as weird anymore, it’s shorter in wording, it is in fact more casual.  We talk about how its hard to sleep throughout the day and how i agree it reminds me of depression Okay so gets his chance to ask me ‘’ How are you going with that?’’ I say I’m okay now, I’m having better days i wouldnt say I suffer from it right now.  I ask him and he says something similar, weird how his responses mirror mine right?.... I say I’m glad things are looking up for him and he says ‘’ I hope i can help you get better too’’. So I havn’t replied and i dont see why i should. It is plain as day obvious he almost WANTS me to be emotionally unstable, because i plainly said I’m okay and he twisted it as ‘’ i want to help you’’.  People need to stop this fucking culture where ‘’fuck bois’’ are the only assholes, and the quiet more manipulative ones get cut slack because they are refreshing, they want YOU, they want to help YOU, they will save you and you will live happily ever after, they are all YOU need! No... It’s just as dangerous if not more than the obvious assholes because they will get inside your head and make you believe they are just being nice.  I forgot to mention before this when i was complimented the second time and i said thankyou, he said to me ‘’ Do you have anything you dont like about your self image?’’ I say sometimes, but I’m doing better with it. He says the same thing about himself.  He says ‘’  Well then I hope I can spend some time with you while you're here so I can make you feel as confident as possible’’  Again creepy. I don’t need a man to make me  feel confident, I don’t need someone to help me ‘’get better’, I dont need to you to come and save me, I am okay , and anyone else dealing with people like these need to realise they are not emotionally stable people as much as they like to make out they are just being ‘’nice’’. Don’t buy it. 
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