#here's all my angst btw | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

salsa-di-pomodoro · 5 months

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Has anyone ever thought of the possibility of people in hisui getting a magazine from AFTER ingo and akari go home with either or both of them on it. Like they've already left and lo and behold in the tail end of the entire mess a magazine appears with one of them on the cover looking fresh stunning and most importantly happy. If it were Ingo i feel like he'd be all dressed up goth on the cover of like Vogue or something lmao (i don't think he wouldn't get famous if he wasn't already after coming home. Theyd want the publicity+cool extint Pokémon on the cover). If it were akari shed probably be like posing all badass like the badass teenager she is, scars in full view (she's a survivor!!!!!!). Inside is a little tidibit of their life after coming home. It would be both funny as hell to see them react to how they are in their element and like connect the dots for their strange behaviors AND bring closure to the people they left in hisui. They may never know this but the people in the past do

If anyone uses this idea tag me i may or may not read it but i want to know if you liked it enough to do something with it. I'll probably just keep daydreaming to myself about it lol

Edit: btw there's a whole section talking about everyone's battle prowess and the battle subway for the funnies. Just so you know

#ingo #ingo pokemon #subway boss ingo #submas ingo #pokemon ingo #warden ingo #akari #pokemon akari #akari pokemon #why do they have so may tags #anyway hello people this idea has plagued me mind enough for me to make a dramatic comeback to the tags #i will now disappear again for untold amounts of time #i wish i could be here #but my brain decided to do a funny and annhilate me with ten thousand ocd beams every time i see a smidge of content-#-that even vaguely implies angst. even in my mind lol (<-suffering from the horrors)(doing FAR *FAR* better than i was even just-#-a few months ago tho. just get the occasional panic moment. ig we cant have everything)#anyway goodbye gamers see you in five to ten business months #submas positivity #oh btw last thing emmet is def there with him #maybe not on the cover but in other photos inside of the magazine they all posed together #yes elesa also #i have such a clear view of this curse my undeveloped drawing abilities #jkjk im not being mean to myself lol im getting better #just imagine him on the cover posing with chandelure and sneasler and zoroark in the background and theyre all menacing #except him cause hes smiling so genuenly happy and like kind looking. something something ghosts don't have to be scary

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ro-bee · 10 months

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Fuck it.

Posting one poece x wakfu au (???) Here too because I'm mentally ill and this is tumblr💃

I was rewatching the series on Netflix with my besties (we still need to watch season 3...) And my childhood kicked in again so I had to feed my inner child 🚶

Made this shitty little thing here to explain what was going on to one friend that knows nothing about the series 🔥

Disclaimer I can't write in English without an auto corrector ❤

▄█▀█● I'm a mess...

#one piece #op wakfu au i guess #op wakfu au #i just like to unite the things i like ok #just like back in the days with homestuck... i feel so old and I'm just 23...#anyways :)#one piece fanart #not tagging all the characters sorry #ace is trans here btw #>:) 🔥🔥🔥🔥#also I'm drawing more of this because i can't stop my little brain #some angst too..#my art #i need to sleep now... byeeeeeeee ❤

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rarestdoge · 11 months

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Cyborg!Cameron

Oh boy, this guy is absolutely PACKED with angst. And yes, this is canon to the og Cam.

To sum this up: Cameron becomes a cyborg after the RBH ending. Sometime between ItA and FtC, he finds himself in a fight with Right Hand Man and loses. Horribly. With him lethally injured, Charles, along with help from Rupert, quickly flies him over to Dr. V. She replaces his right arm, left eye, and spine.

There is also a non-canon alt ending. I don't have the story fully fledged out quite yet, but it'll play out like Cameron's own Revenged ending. Only reason this isn't canon is because it would've made CtM too complicated, but it would've been lame not to include it somewhere.

I'll most likely tell both of these stories in much more detail in the form of a fanfic!

Cyborg!Cam will be open for asks too, but don't bother asking him for more details about how he became a cyborg and whatnot. I'm obviously gonna explain it later.

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non-un-topo · 2 months

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For @spacegirlsgang

Part 2 of What happens in Vegas follows you back to Toronto

Rating: M

Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Trans Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Gender Identity, Gender Dysphoria, Parenthood, or lack thereof. no J/N babies here, Humor, Fluff and Angst, Family Drama, Cottage Country, Nurse Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Ensemble Cast

Summary:

Andy and Quỳnh, adventurous as always and the designated group event-planners, had rented an AirBnB somewhere in Georgian Bay. Joe and Nicky were promised a fire pit, a private bedroom, a beach, and plenty of hiking trails. Joe and Nile were frankly too excited about the hiking trails, and while Nicky loved to see them happy, he was really looking forward to sitting by the fire and finally finishing the stack of books he’d been neglecting all summer. So, yes, the fact that Booker was bringing his kids to the cottage set Nicky just a little bit on-edge. He liked kids. He liked his nephews specifically. But there was a feeling stirring in his stomach that he could not void. Or name, apparently. Or: Old anxieties surface when everyone comes together for a vacation in cottage country. A 'stuck on you' sequel.

#sage writes #the old guard #the old guard fic #heyy here's a little stuck on you sequel after... (checks calendar) almost two years exactly #i hope you like it mary <3 and of course no pressure btw asdfghfds #your love for the first fic and all your support and positivity just really made me want to write a sequel #there's a tonal shift and some angst but it goes back up afterwards #'stuck on you' is my most popular fic to date which is interesting dfghfd but i'm so touched that people liked it!!#it was my very first getting-together fic i think. so i was wading in unknown waters #also apologies for all the trans fics lately i'm on a gender high

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sparkdoesart · 4 months

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I believe it is once again that time where i post my gay people as animals because my friends are asleep and im bored <3

Gay people! Regular ol cat gay people. Love them

And now!! Silly au gay people!! (Even tho theyre not being too gay in these ones theyre still gay)

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crystalcatgamer · 1 year

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"Mia." A single word - blunt, tense, underscored with panic. With relief. Her brother drops to his knees with a thud and drags her into a hug. "You're alive." Yoo Mia wraps her arms around the man just as fiercely, burying her face in familiarly broad shoulders. "I knew Oppa would come find me."

Yoo Mia, the scenarios, and her brother through them.

(Always, he’s different. But he loves her, as their friends fall and the sun rises. And isn’t that what matters the most, in the end?)

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fiepige · 7 months

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Ummm uhhh umm

Diane seeing Venom!Hobie and being so terrified she's shaking but she's saying "It's okay, I'm not afraid. you won't hurt me. you would never hurt me" cause it's still Hobie

And she tries to risk give him a hug even though she's flinching every time he moves - so she hugs Venom!Hobie cause in her head showing him love will make alright.

And she presses her head to his chest to hear his heartbeat and she tells herself that's still Hobies heart in there and she asks if he can hear her

And Venom!Hobie starts making a gutteral sound and she gets scared but doesn't pull away. But he's making this sound and she can't understand what it is until finally he croaks out the word 'Daiquri' cause that's what he calls her and she starts sobbing.

:) bye *leaves* *you hear my screaming from the next room as I exit*

😭😭😭💜💔💜 AAAAAHHHHH!!!! (<---- This is me right now omg!)

SERIOUSLY!!! Thank you for sending me this it's been playing on repeat in my mind ever since I read it!!! <3<3<3

This is SO GOOD! The ANGST!! But it's also so sweet!?! THIS IS THE KINDA STUFF I LIVE FOR!!!!

Diane reaching out despite being terrified! Trying to see past the monstrous exterior cause the guy she loves is in there somewhere!!

Venom!Hobie snarling at her as she approaches cause he doesn't recognise her at first! Yet he still lets her touch him cause something inside him tells him he can trust her!

Diane hugging Venom!Hobie!! (And him hugging her back? Almost digging his claws into her, both of them unsure if he'll hurt her at first cause the symbiote does STUFF to his brain but then she calls out to him and he recognises her!😭💜💔

Diane hearing his heartbeat slow down as she calms him down!! Him calling her by her nickname to let her know he's still there!!! Seriously I can't!!!!!!!!!!😭😭😭

ALSO! DON'T APOLOGISE FOR THIS!!!!!!! Seriously this made my day <3<3<3 The Brainrot is REAL and I'm so happy to see other people have it too!!! Like you can't imagine how happy it makes me when people talk to me about Venom!Hobie!!!!

And having your OC interact with him?!? The biggest honour!!! 💜💜💜 AAAHH I can't! *You hear me screaming back from this room as I write this*

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nervocat · 24 days

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I feel like I'm not writing Blade as good as I did before 😭😭

#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#maybe it's bc my mind is half here half not or smth..#also I'm so glad I'm able to write more platonic stuff #like the three reqs that that I have left are specifically platonic #and all but one is angst but yk. new stuff and characters to write for :33 #I'm eepy btw #might nap 😔😔

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hauntedpearl · 2 years

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i was raised by quiet people.

and we don't know how to talk to each other.

our house is a world of anger that never truly dissipates and words that hang in the air like hailstones ready to pelt your skin.

we don't know how to shape the words "i love you" with our mouths.

we don't know what it means to hold the weight of "sorry" on our tongues.

the morning after my parents fight, my father wakes up early and turns on the tv. he likes the quiet, but mom's always appreciated the sound of music.

he plays the songs she likes.

when i thought my heart was breaking, i didn't know how to make it go away.

i didn't know how to let the words locked in my jaw, behind my teeth, out.

how do you find the means to make the things you don't know exist in this world?

how do you even know that you can?

i was raised by quiet people.

so i stretched my fingertips to touch yours.

i let you leave the impressions of the whorls of your thumb on my skin.

i don't know how to shape the words "i love you" with my mouth.

i don't know how to bear the weight of the words "i'm scared" on my tongue.

i am trying, though. in the ways of the quiet people.

in the language of bright eyes and desperate touches.

the world is so close to ending, and i feel the premonition of the aftershocks in my bones.

i am holding your hand, and praying the inevitable away.

not a word past my lips — only breath, shallow and sharp.

i was raised by quiet people.

i don't know how to be another way.

#YOU CAN RB THIS BUT ALSO PLS BE NICE IN THE TAGS IF YOU DO THIS IS ME TRYING TO PROCESS SOMETHING OKAY #doe's writing #i am so. i am going through things. i don't know how to let it out except like this #idk does this count as poetry #god i wish i could let people love me i wish i could let myself love others easily i wish i had the vocabulary to express all that #i wish my view of the world wasn't so warped and fucked up and i wish i didn't inflict myself on people the way i fo #i wish i could stop thinking of existing with people are an infliction upon them #how do you heal? i keep trying but i think I'm farther behind than i was before #god i wish i didn't exist some days #anyway. t #here you can have my existential angst #THIS IS ABOUT FRIENDSHIP BTE #BTW*#but like you always gotta be a little in love with your friends #hmmm #okay #bye good night

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aphelea · 10 months

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looking through old unpublished fic drafts is somehow both the funniest and most horrifying experience ever

#i used to hate writing angst for such a long time my god. i wrote exclusively rom com-ish fic...past arjun would be shocked to see me now #all for kotlc btw. can't escape this series apparently #tbh i would share some of these fics but not like. the whole of any. just specific parts because these are hilarious #oh hey the first draft of the superhero au is here! three years later and i still haven't finished it lmao #august rambles

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omegalomania · 2 years

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PREVIOUSLY ON a little less sixteen candles a little more touch me featuring pete "hey wait a second. thats not a hickey" wentz, patrick "god i hope zombie bites arent contagious" stump, joe "why couldnt these ghosts be the casper variety" trohman, and andy "well it turns out werewolf bites ARE contagious" hurley

#fall out boy #a little less sixteen candles #a little less sixteen candles a little more touch me #*mine #*art #body horror #gore #blood #covering my bases here cause this was for an angst meme #well. the andy and pete ones were for that. the joe and patrick ones were just to complete the set.#well i did the wrong andy prompt. and then i did the right andy prompt. and then i decided heck why not go for all the rest #ids are all in the alt text btw

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singsweetmelodies · 1 year

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Piarles + clouds ☁️

hello tia darling 💙 i picked this one because it just started raining again outside, and it's midnight, so obviously my brain went midnight rain by taylor swift. because i'm me, and also because vaguely poetic angst at midnight is, apparently, the way to go.

Sometimes, when the clouds roll in over the midnight sea and raindrops draw silvery, moonlit tear-marks down his windows, Charles thinks of Pierre.

They aren't thoughts he can let himself think in the light of day, because the day is when he is supposed to smile, and stand up straight despite how he feels like his back is breaking under the weight of everything he was supposed to win this year (and everything he lost instead.)

But when the whole world is quiet except for the faint whisper of rain on the roof, Charles lets himself think of Pierre's laughter, and the way he reached for Charles' arm, and how his kiss was the sweetest thing Charles had ever tasted, like coming home and discovering a new world all at once. Until he pulled away, and shook his head no, and broke Pierre's heart because he couldn't afford the distraction and comfort-dulled senses that might cause him to lose out on precious thousandths on-track.

Sometimes, when the clouds roll in over the midnight sea, Charles thinks of Pierre, and wishes that he had chosen comfort instead.

(send me a ship + a one word prompt and i will write a 5 sentence fic about it)

#5 sentence fic thing #piarles #piarles fic #10 x 16 #myfic #here there be angst and midnight rain #this is probably not what you were expecting at all with this prompt tia 🙈 but it's what my brain wanted apparently #i was humming 'broke his heart cause he was nice' and 'he wanted it comfortable i wanted that pain' all throughout writing this btw #the pain of being a ferrari driver etc etc #charlie baby you chose wrong 😭

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quirkle2 · 2 years

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yeah no i asked what i asked and i still . hated myself for imagining it bc i really hate that the idea that the loving and caring family the links have built isnt meant to stay AJSJSAJAHJ i say i love angst but really. i love hurt/comfort and yeah no theres barely any of the comfort . ask ouchy questions get ouchy answers on my part </3 but still ty for indulging me (i say with equal amount of tears) !!

so now i am sitting patiently like a kindergarden kid about to hear storytime . that storytime is your ranch au :>> please ramble as long as you like <33

NO NO UR SO VALID I TOTALLY GET IT imso sorry if i made u sad . i made ME sad. we're both sad :(

kicks my feet up into the air i will cheer us up mark my words

ranch au ...................my beloved and most cherished ranch au. a lotta people prolly have this idea but here is my interpretation of it i suppose

to sum it up rly quickly it's the boys not getting a permanent goodbye and Instead sticking together and going to live on time and malon's ranch happily ever after <333 that's it that's the plot GVEAIYGV

sometime after wars is exiled from castle town and he's had a bit to reflect, he realizes that he's not gonna have Any place to stay when they separate. he hates thinking about their inevitable goodbye in any capacity, but he knows that at some point he's gonna have to come to terms w the fact that he won't have them forever (he will.) and they'll have to say goodbye for good (no.)

he's . obviously very troubled by this in general but That on top of the exile has him stressed and upset and worrying about the future and how he'll even continue without them. the chain can See he's upset—of course he is, he was just betrayed by his "friends" and banned from his home, stripped of his title—and luckily, time comes to da rescue :)

time knows wars is worrying abt living situations n such on top of the Betrayal(tm), and he,,, offers him a place, at the ranch :) they both know very well that that might not be possible—fate drags them around as it is, and they doubt it'll be kind enough to allow wars such a luxury—but the offer is there, if they find that it's possible. and wars isso fucking touched by that that he nearly cries GVIAEYGV

fast forward to . The Inevitable. in this au they Do say their goodbyes, and they Do separate and branch off into their different eras. everything goes as it should, according to fate. everything goes well Except the fact that there's only 8 portals. wars' isn't there. and that just,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

that kinda cements it in wars' head that he's truly been thrown away by his Entire Era. why else would fate not let him go back home? that means he's Truly not needed anymore, and just like artemis and impa, his world abandoned him when he stopped being useful. even fate says there's no point in going back. wars might as well not even exist there anymore

so he goes through time's portal instead. and for the next few days they live on the ranch and ,,try not to fall apart. time basically just lost seven of his fuckin boys, the one remaining one an absolute wreck and definitely working himself to the ground to keep his mind busy and Also to sate that fear that he'll be thrown out by time too if he's not useful enough (malon is more than welcoming to wars and so very happy to have him there and she'sso fuckin gentle w him u don't even know)

and for those few days, they both live w Giant holes in their chests. it feels utterly and dreadfully empty, to just continue life after a loss that great. they're both constantly reminded of the other boys and neither of them are sleeping much at all; wars and ledge were So incredibly close and wars constantly misses him every fuckin moment and all the work he's doing around the ranch is not doin a goddamn thing to distract him from it. time has to stop him from overworking himself too hard multiple times

but one night time's lyin in bed, unable to sleep and Feeling Empty, and then wars is suddenly banging on his and malon's bedroom door. he drags them outside—wars has his sword on him, that's not a good sign—and lo behold, when they step onto the porch, there is a portal in front of their house. just,,,,,,, sitting there. waiting

call it magic or a sixth sense of sorts, but for some reason, Both of them know this isn't a simple calling for another adventure. they just,,, know it in their bones. this isn't that. somehow, somewhere in their minds, time and wars both understand what fate is offering them

they quickly pack, fully arming themselves just in case they're wrong, and they say goodbye to malon in hopes that they'll only be gone a few days or so (they,,, hope to god)

they r dropped in skyloft. so far, promising

they track down sky. he bursts into tears at the sight of them GVUYEAGV at first he thinks it's another adventure, and they say while they can't Promise it's not, they r pretty sure—"like . 80% sure"— that it's smth else entirely. the Opposite, rly

sky goes w them. next up is four, a tearful reunion ensues, same explanation is given. it repeats and repeats and repeats until they,, eventually have everybody :) Everybody is back together—and yes, wars and ledge did run to each other and absolutely Tackle the other

one last portal stands before them. they don't know for sure it's the last one, but they Hope. they hope to god. they all,, hold their breaths and walk through it .

and they r deposited right back where they'd left at the ranch

there is . a sort of strange, underlying apprehension that resides w the sheer Holy Shit We're Together and Home. it's the fear—mostly and justifiably felt by legend, since he's experienced,, what, 7 journeys now ? give or take—that fate is simply gathering them together at a safe spot just to get ready to throw them into smth else

in reality they Can't know what the Entities behind these portals r doing, what their intentions are. they can only assume. but ultimately, even though legend honestly doesn't think his body can Make it through another adventure, if he's dragged into another one and it's w These idiots ? he'd go, and risk destroying his body and mind a lot more in the process, just to spend more time w them. it's not the ,, best circumstances to spend time w ur family, but hey . when else is fate gonna let him do it

malon sees them all back in one piece and races for them, and that's sorta the thing they need to snap out of their little shell-shocked trances and Celebrate. it's . a very big emotional rollercoaster GVYEAGV they cry and laugh and holler and while they're all distantly aware there is a chance this isn't the end of their journeys and there's more to go, they still celebrate. they're back together. gang's all here

and this lets the boys be boys. they all get to live in a normal household (as,, normal as a house full of traumatized heroes can get) w PARENTAL FIGURES . HALLELUJAH. and the younger boys get to be kids and the older boys gets to catch up on a childhood that was taken from them. they get to be normal people

eventually time expands the ranch house to accommodate them. it is a very big change—malon: "there are 8 extra people in my house and i love them all dearly but also there are 8 extra people in my house."—and yeah they definitely struggle to adjust a bit, but eventually everything calms and settles and it's Peaceful. they live peaceful lives, for once

AND YES I . I KNOW THIS HAS MANY MANY HOLES IN IT. but frankly my dear i do not give a damn HVGIEAGVA don't think about how all of them effectively left their families to join a different one. don't think abt that. they visit . it is canon in my eyes that the portals occasionally appear and let them visit their families. it's absurd but have u been paying attention ? so is everything else GVIEAYGV

ofc it's not all flowers n rainbows. they all just went through the fucking ringer w this last journey, and for people like legend who barely had any time in between each adventure to process the trauma, he's got,,,, a lot of catching up to do. they all struggle w a lot of different things, and even several months in they r still learning each others' boundaries when it comes to living in the same household

legend doesn't unpack his bag until 2 months in because he's fully convinced it's not over and he wants to be ready and packed when another portal comes to yank him from reality. hyrule's never,, lived in a home like this and he feels a bit out of place and unsure of what the etiquette is. twi in particular is absolutely terrified of the possibility that they could be dragged into smth else or separated again. both bc he's dealt w this before—being separated from midna between realms—and bc time, well.... the hero's shade thing is another can of worms entirely.

wars is still terrified he'll be thrown out despite the numerous reassurances from time, malon, And the others that they'd never. even though he had several years between the end of the war and the beginning of lu, a Few Years is not enough time to process and even Begin to heal from all the trauma that came from that war. he's still paranoid. he can't go outside at night, even within the safety of the ranch fences—yes, he'll admit he's developed a fear of the dark over the years, terrified of traitors lunging at him from alleyways or from around corners

they all still take time to spar outside, working hard to hone skills, and when time gently reminds them that they don't Need to do that anymore, they all ,, look so shocked and dumbfounded. a lot of them still keep emergency potions in their bags that they take to town. several of them r armed at all times w Some sort of weapon on them, even in the house

legend is still in Adventure Mode and keeps buying useful tools for journeys he might need, even though he's never going on one again. wild realizes that he doesn't have to mold his recipes around what will give them all the biggest buff in strength or defense; they don't need that anymore. he can just make whatever tastes the best w Whatever he wants

u get it. they all slowly learn to Live, instead of survive. they help each other heal in a safe environment, in a world they no longer have to babysit. time has his boys again. gang's all here

#qktalks #soul-of-rei #suncaster au #tw trauma #trauma tw #for da angst at the end there. if i need to add any more tags please do tell me !#I GOT SEVERAL ASKS... urging me to yell abt the ranch au #pspspsppspspsp y'all over here pspsppsspsppssp #IM SORRY IF I MADE PEOPLE SAD W THE LAST ASK . IMSO SORRY #i made myself sad too . deadass teared up when typing it out i cannot Handle wars being that sad #dw tho ranch au gotchu covered #wars is 100% the Happiest he's ever been in his life when the ranch au comes around #the most content he's ever felt. even when starting to process all that trauma #overall he's just . so much better #many of my drawings and fics r made w the ranch au in mind btw. im obsessed w it #i simply have never mentioned it before out of nervousness <3 #maybe not so much the fics in like a tangible visible sense but i do think abt it when im writing #and i think abt what impact Insert Fic Here would have on the ranch au and it's just a fun time yaknow #! TRADE OFFER ! u receive: qpps wars and ledge ranch au. i receive: nothing this isn't a trade this is a Gift #the uhhhhhh sleepy morning w da qpp drawing takes place in the ranch au . i love them #i've THOUGHT abt writing a fic for this au but it'd be one of those rly long ongoing ones #or maybe like . a series of shorter snippets rather than a continuous narrative #idk <3 #i Adore writing dialog and like general vibes tho . and that's what that fic would be made of so GVIEAYGV

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becasbelt · 2 years

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aside from that angsty line you gotta put in your next fic now you also gotta include them long hot showers

just make me cry anne it’s been a while

i mean you asked for it

* * *

Beca thinks the worst thing about the breakup is the shower.

Actually, no, that's not true, because the worst thing about the breakup is everything about the breakup.

But the shower is significantly problematic, simply because Beca never wants to get out of the shower.

The steam clouds the small bathroom, making the walls look fuzzy and Beca's head feel light. She's not doing anything in particular, only building up the motivation to actually wash her hair as she stands under the stream of hot water, arms crossed loosely over her stomach.

The water bill over the past two weeks and four- no, five, days since Beca started living alone has taken an unfortunate spike.

Chloe's shampoo sits untouched on the shelf beside Beca's.

Maybe the shower is symbolic, Beca thinks as she finally gets out of the shower. She rubs a towel through her hair and stares at herself through the clear patch in the mirror where she'd wiped away the condensation. After all, their story had started in a shower, however improper as it had been at the time. It only makes sense that Beca would cling onto the last shred of their relationship left by regularly using up all the hot water.

Or maybe she's just pathetic.

"I just can't be your punching bag anymore, Beca. It can't be my job to be the one to always look on the bright side."

Beca sits on the end of their bed, (her bed, she reminds herself) shirt still held in her hands, and stares at the dent in the wall from when Beca kicked it after coming home from work one night, tired and irritated.

Not tired or irritated with Chloe. Never with Chloe. Just... with life.

"I'm tired, Beca. I'm tired of never allowing myself a down day just in case you're not in the mood to pick me back up. Most of the time you act like you don't even want me around."

Beca goes about making breakfast, which is really closer to lunch at this point.

She makes toast. Chloe took the wheat bread with her. It's not like Beca ever used it, anyway.

"I think this will be the best. For... for the both of us."

There's a knock on the door.

Beca shuffles out of the kitchen to open it, and immediately feels the wind knocked out of her.

"Hi."

Beca has to take a deep breath before answering. "Hi."

Chloe shifts in the doorway. There's a box in her arms. "Can I come in?" she asks. "I just came to drop off some of your stuff that got mixed in with mine."

Beca swallows. "Sure," she says, stepping aside to let her in. Chloe breezes into the apartment as if it's the most natural thing in the world, as if this isn't the first time they've seen each other since she left.

Beca lingers in the entryway like a stranger in her own home, silently watching as Chloe sets the box down on the coffee table and begins unloading it, occasionally double checking with Beca that an item belongs to her. Beca feels herself nod numbly each time.

"How's Aubrey?"

Chloe looks over in surprise at Beca's voice. Beca doesn't even recall making the decision to speak.

"She- she's good," Chloe says, tucking a red curl behind her ear, and nods her head a little. "She and Stacie have their hands full with Bella, but what else is new."

Chloe gives a small chuckle, so Beca forces a laugh out of herself as well. It ends up sounding more like a cough.

There's another awkward moment of silence as Chloe takes a pair of Beca's old headphones out of the box.

"How are you?" Beca dares to ask.

Chloe freezes in her movements for just a moment. "I'm good as well," she eventually replies, voice even, careful.

"Good," Beca says quickly. She nods her head and repeats the word for good measure, "good. I'm- uh, I'm glad."

Chloe gives her a small smile before getting back to work. She asks if Beca still has a few of her things that she'd left here, and Beca goes to get them, already knowing every item that belongs to Chloe and exactly where to find it. By the time she's handing them over to Chloe, she's built enough courage to attempt conversation again.

"You know, I was talking with Legacy the other day. Um, telling her about everything that happened and all. And it got me thinking that we'd promised to visit her soon."

Chloe closes her eyes. "Beca," she sighs tiredly.

"And, I don't know, I guess it just seems unfair to leave her high and dry like that, you know?" Beca says, pushing on. She stares down at her fidgeting hands as she talks. "Amy was asking about us, too. Wanted to take us to some island resort she bought. Could be fun if we wanted to-"

"Okay, stop," Chloe interjects. Beca's mouth immediately snaps shut and she twists her hands tightly together. "You have to stop with this, Bec." Beca flinches at the nickname. "There is no us anymore. I don't know if there ever will be again."

Beca feels heat behind her eyes as she forces herself to look at Chloe. "We've been us for longer than I can remember," she says. "You can't expect me to just drop it all at once. You- I... how am I supposed to be me without you?"

Chloe bites her cheek and turns her head away, arms circling her torso protectively. "Beca," she whispers.

But Beca can't hold it back now. Not after holding it back when Chloe told her she was leaving, not after two - almost three - weeks of staring at the empty side of her bed. Not after trying to convince herself she was fine when she was anything but fine.

"I can't do this, Chloe. I can't lose you. You- you were always there for me when no one else was."

"There was a reason no one else was there!" Chloe bursts. "Because you pushed them all away, Beca! You pushed them away and when they were gone you pushed me away, too." Chloe's blue eyes shine with angry tears. "After years together, after going through so much together, you still shut me out."

"You never seemed to mind before!" Beca protests desperately. Her hands are shaking and her lungs are having trouble getting air. "I've always been like this. You knew what you signed up for."

"Yeah, well, I guess after years a person just gets tired of giving and giving and never getting anything in return."

Chloe's words cut through Beca like a knife, leaving a hole in her chest. She opens and closes her mouth a few times, fighting for something to say.

Chloe shoves her things in the box and picks it up, making her way to the door. "I just need some time," she tells Beca, footsteps retreating quickly. Beca remains frozen in her spot, staring at the space where Chloe was.

The door clicks shut, the sound ringing through the empty apartment with finality.

Beca takes a deep breath right before she falls apart.

#always love an excuse to hurt my favorite girls <3 #btw the line ana was referencing was 'there's no us'#not all used in the same way here as its origins #anyway enjoy you psychos angst lovers #bechloe #fanfic #pitch perfect #idk if this is cry worthy but it's def not a good time #anastasia-93-daybidaylove

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