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rabbitrah · 1 year

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A continuation on my post about unloved foods, specifically this is my in-depth defense of root beer.

Root Beer isn't inherently gross, it's just one of those weird local flavors that's off-putting to people who didn't grow up with it. We all like different things and also we all tend to like flavors that are similar to what we grew up with. That's okay! But honestly root beer is pretty unique and, in my opinion, delicious.

One of the main complaints against root beer is that it tastes like medicine. Funnily enough, it was originally marketed as medicinal! This is true for most OG sodas actually. Pretty much as soon as carbonated water was invented, people were drinking it to soothe various ailments. A lot of the original soft drinks were actually invented by pharmacists. I just think that root beer is especially cool because the main flavor came from the root bark of sassafras, a common North American shrub. Because it's so widespread and aromatic, all parts of the sassafras plant have been used in food and medicine by many different Native American tribes throughout history and was subsequently picked up and used by European colonists. In the 1960s, some studies indicated that that safrole oil, which is produced by the plant, can cause liver damage. Whether or not this would actually remain true after it had been boiled and added to root beer is unclear, but it was really easy to replicate the flavor, so the sassafras in commercial root beer these days is artificial. Another fun fact about safrole is that it's a precursor in the synthesis of MDMA. None of this information has stopped my childhood habit of eating sassfras leaves right off the shrub whenever I walk past it on a hike. I'm like 85% sure it's safe and also mmmm yummy leafs go crunch.

Another root beer complaint is that it tastes like toothpaste. I think this is probably because another key flavor in most root beer recipes is wintergreen. I'm assuming that the people who think this are the same people who think mint chocolate chip ice cream tastes like toothpaste. I can understand and even respect that some people don't like mint and associate it only with brushing their teeth, but like. Mint is a pretty common flavor. I mean I think it's safe to say that humans have been eating mint flavored stuff for longer than toothpaste has existed... anyway!

Other common flavors in root beer (real or artificial) are caramel, vanilla, black cherry bark, sarsaparilla root, ginger, and many more! There's not one official recipe, and root beer enthusiasts often have strong opinions about different brands. Some root beer is sharper, with more strong aromatic flavors, and others are mild and creamier.

Another thing I think is cool about root beer is that it's foamier than most sodas. This was originally because sassafras is a natural surfactant (and why sassafras is also a common thickening agent in Louisiana Creole cooking.) These days, other plant starches or similar ingredients are added to keep the distinctive foam. Root beer foam > all other soft drink foams. That's why root beer floats kick more ass than like, coke floats.

If you've never had root beer before, imagine if a sweetened herbal tea was turned into a soda, because that's basically what it is. If your first response to that is a cringe, fair enough. That's why lots of people don't like it. If your first response to that is "interesting... I might actually like it, though" then I encourage you to track down a can of root beer today, hard as that might be outside the US and Canada. Next time you see an "ew, root beer tastes like medicine/tooth paste" take, know that there's a reason for that, but also the same could be said for literally any herbal or minty food/drink.

My final take on root beer is that it would be the soda of choice for gnomes. Thank you and good night.

#txt #food #1k

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drinkinlovecom · 1 year

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Discover the Growing Trend of Non-Alcoholic Beverages - The Rise Is Here!

As the world is becoming more health-conscious and people are increasingly aware of the dangers of alcohol consumption, the rise of non-alcoholic beverages is on the rise. Non-alcoholic beverages, such as sparkling waters, teas, and juices, provide a healthier alternative to consuming alcoholic beverages, without sacrificing taste and refreshment. The health benefits of non-alcoholic beverages…

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honeytonedhottie · 4 months

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simple ways to improve ur diet⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍈

the saying "you are what u eat" is TRUE. a quote that rly resonated with me and inspired this post was : you are what u eat, so dont be fast, cheap, easy, fake and not enough.

drink water - buy urself a cute water bottle and DRINK WATER. water is literally life. literally just drink water, its so worth it, for ur skin, hair, nails, immune system etc

TAKE UR VITAMINS

start drinking teas - i started drinking peppermint tea before bed every single day and its so PLEASANT and it literally improves ur health on multiple different levels. drink herbal teas, find one that u rly like and indulge in it. one that i rly loved was peach and strawberry oolong tea. one that i also rly recommend is green tea

peppermint tea : its so refreshing and easy to drink if ur someone who dislikes tea. it improves digestion, reduces pain, eliminates inflammation, relaxes ur body + mind, and boosts ur immune system

green tea : great for ur metabolism, rich in antioxidants etc

start eating fruit - FRUIT IS BETTER THAN CANDY and i'll stand on this till i die. especially if ur someone who has a massive sweet tooth (like me) stock up on fruits and enjoy them. i like to eat my fruits frozen (like green grapes or watermelon)

eat ur vegetables - it doesn't even have to be drastic but you need to be incorporating vegetables into ur diet every single day. i usually like to eat a small serving with every meal, or i'll have one meal a day where its purely veggies (like a salad). snack on vegetables, vegetables r so delicious and so good for u.

u can get vegetables into ur diet without having to eat them by themselves, you can eat them in pastas, put them in smoothies, turn them into sauces, dip them in sauces etc, just EAT THEM

cut out soda - if u can't cut out soda entirely pls minimize it because its so bad for u + it throws off ur pH balance

treat urself - always remember that ur diet should be like : 20% what u crave and 80% whats good for u. dont deny urself the foods that u wanna eat. eating healthy doesn't have to be boring and eating healthy doesn't mean that u can't enjoy the foods that u love. literally let urself live.

meal prep - if ur someone that often forgets to eat or u just dont have time to make a meal, try meal prepping. make urself snack boxes so that then u can stay eating consistently and if u haven't eaten yet, go eat something 💗

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prettieinpink · 6 months

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♡ PRETTIER HIERARCHY ♡

HAPPY 1.2k+ TO PRETTIEINPINK! Thank you guys for the support, here’s a lil gift from me to you.

If you don’t want to read all of this, I created a hierarchy of everything you need to do to glow up, right at the end!!! But I recommend reading everything first <3

I’ve been trying to ‘glow up’ like forever, but there was no actual content out there that helped me glow up. Most people sugarcoated, or their lifestyles of glowing up just weren't sustainable for me. So, I created this post for everyone planning to glow up or maximise their prettiness!

DISCLAIMER – THIS POST IS NOT DETAILED. I wanted to do a simple outline to give you guys an idea of what to do to maximise your pretty. A little help to plan, especially as we enter 2024, but I’ll expand on these individual topics in the future.

GRADE 1 – HEALTH

Being healthy can make you SO pretty. Being healthy is the foundation. There are other ways to be physically healthy, but after doing these 4 the rest usually fall in place. Here are some simple ways to become healthier, and then eventually prettier!

HEALTHY EATING.

I'm not going to go super deep into this, as no diet fits everyone + Please consult with your doctor before taking any extreme advice. Though, I'll tell you a bit of things that helped me !!

Stop drinking soda. Please, it's so unhealthy and it's full of so many sugars. Even the ones that are 0 cal, have weird chemicals that I don't trust. Many more alternatives taste just as good, like coconut water, herbal drinks, smoothies etc! Especially because nowadays most large calories and sugar intakes are from sugary drinks

Stop restricting, moderate it. I am a big fan of dairy, yoghurt, milk, and cheese, I love it all. However I acknowledge that dairy isn’t the healthiest, so instead I always ensure I'm eating in moderation. E.g I put a tablespoon of shredded cheese in my omelettes instead of a handful. You will enjoy healthy eating so much, but only if you're not restricting.

Have one serving of fruit, vegetables, or both with each meal. It provides so many good nutrients, makes you fuller and keeps you hydrated. Measure with your palm to ensure you’re eating enough.

Know that just because one food has fewer calories than the other, does not mean it is the healthiest. I struggled so much with this, especially because many weight loss accounts will mention this, but it is so wrong. White bread has fewer calories than brown bread, but brown bread is higher in nutritional value.

Plan snacks. Planning snacks for throughout the day, instead of spontaneously eating is so much better. I recommend this for anyone who gets hungry during the day but not enough for a meal (like me!)

Drink more water. Not 1L a day, because it is so much more ideal for you to have a glass of water with each meal + when you feel thirsty.

Start educating yourself. This is as much as I can tell you, im not a nutritionist or a dietitian but if you plan to ensure that healthy eating becomes your lifestyle, educating yourself is essential!!

EXERCISING.

Once again, I'm only going to go surface level with this because it is only based on my personal experience + Consult with your doctor before doing anything extreme.

Start aiming for 5k+ steps. I see a lot of people advertise 10k+ steps as the standard, or what's active, but it's not sustainable If you're a busy person with a sedentary life or a beginner at exercise it is gonna be hard to sustain that. But walking is so good for you and simple too.

Join your local sports! Such a fun way to socialise while still exerting energy.

If you can't do that for whatever reason, there are many ways to exercise at home. Research and pick a workout that you like and is sustainable. E.g. jump rope, pilates, home exercises, weightlifting, biking

Start standing more, it exerts energy. While very little, it still is very good.

That's it, but remember to always start small with exercising, and RESEARCH!

BETTER SLEEP

To me, it doesn’t matter how much sleep a person is getting, but much more rather the quality of said sleep. So, here are some tricks and tips to get better at sleeping!!

Investing in a good quality pillow is so good for your sleep, the more comfortable you are, the better + it reduces the chances of poor posture or hump necks

Research about different sleeping positions, as some positions at night promote back pain, difficulty breathing or poor posture.

Start sleeping in complete darkness. Remove all sources of light or invest in good light-blocking curtains OR binders. Though, binders seem to be much more effective but are more pricey. If you cannot do either of that, buy a good sleeping mask.

Sleep in the cold. Your body easily falls asleep if your environment is cold, and you’re less likely to wake up in the middle of the night.

It is ideal for you to stop using devices an hour or two before bed, but if it is not sustainable for you, wear red blue-light-blocking glasses instead of clear ones. Red ones are more effective.

Avoid large physical or mental tasks before bed, use that time to unwind and tell your body it's time to go to sleep.

Avoid napping for longer than 30 minutes, or it can disrupt the sleep you have at night.

Go to sleep at similar times every day. If you go to sleep earlier or later than this, you will ruin your sleep schedule and feel groggy.

I expand more here.

ORAL HEALTH

This is a step many people will neglect, but the most important in my opinion. Your teeth are the only body part that fails to regenerate after a certain age. Here's how I take care of mine!

Brush your teeth for longer. Brushing your teeth should not be a sped-up process, put actual thought into it.

Start flossing. Floss removes plaque, and reduces the chances of your teeth yellowing! Do this ideally after each meal.

Brush your teeth before you eat. Brushing my teeth is the first thing I do when I wake up because brushing your teeth is supposed to protect your teeth from the food, not wash away your food.

If you have the means, buy an electric toothbrush, as this gets in the little nooks and crannies that a regular one cannot.

Use a tongue scraper or your toothbrush to get rid of any bacteria on your tongue.

Use straws to drink coffee or any heavily coloured drinks. This avoids the premature yellowing of teeth. Make sure you put the straw on the side of your mouth to avoid your teeth.

Use good mouthwash. A total game-changer, makes your breath fresher and your gums healthier.

If need be, definitely use a purple teeth serum as a whitening treatment.

GRADE 2: STYLE

I do not mean literal clothes and style, that's in grade 3. This is all about basic grooming and such. This is 2nd most important, especially if you're somebody who’s never been invested in beauty.

SKINCARE

Get a basic skincare routine, cleanser and moisturiser.

If you have other skincare concerns e.g. dry skin, hyperpigmentation, acne, or blemishes, invest in a serum.

Avoid touching your face frequently.

Wash makeup brushes & pillowcases often.

Dermaplaning to help skincare absorb better.

Use sunscreen!

HAIRCARE

Invest in a good shampoo and conditioner for your hair type.

Use a good hair oil, it doesn’t have to be for growth, but just for nourishing your scalp

Sleep with a good quality bonnet on.

Find which type of hairbrush works the best on you!

Use warm water to remove product build up and dirt, but use cool water to rinse.

Buy spray suncsreen to put on your scalp during hot weather.

Once again, research. Hair is just too much of a broad topic for me to thoroughly talk about.

EYEBROW & LASHES

Trim your eyebrows regularly to avoid too many stray hairs

Tint your eyebrows and lashes. If you already have dark eyelashes and brows, try a lighter look. I seem to prefer a dark brown look to a black

Invest in a good lash & brow serum or use any oil

Don't use Vaseline on your eyelashes.

Limit how much you wear mascara.

I talk more about this here.

BODY & HANDS

Have a daily shower routine which consists of washing, exfoliating and moisturising your skin.

Using scented products is such a game changer, smelling good is like being a magnet

Doing manicures, my routine is a cuticle scrub, file, buff, polish, paint then cuticle oil.

Shave on the areas you want to. Having smooth skin is nice, but to ensure your shave lasts longer, watch a video.

I post about creating a good shower routine here.

LIPS

Invest in a good, portable lip balm. I prefer the ones that burn your lips to give it a more fuller effect

Make your lip scrub. Sugar, honey and turmeric are my go-to. Helps remove dead skin.

If you have hyperpigmentation around the lips, use glycolic acid, only a little.

GRADE 3 – FASHION

My favourite grade, because it is so fun and focuses more on the aesthetic side of things. However, they're not essential, which makes it all the more fun!

CLOTHES

I have a post about wardrobe essentials here.

Find out about what season colours you are. This helps with using colours in fashion to enhance. ( if you don't like your colours it is okay, it doesn’t change much if you do not wear them)

Figuring out your undertone colours for jewellery.

Figure out what works for your figure. Experiment with necklines, bottom length etc.

Find out your general style too, what you feel confident in and more assured.

MAKEUP

Research and only watch tutorials of women who look like you (trust me).

Dear Peachie has a bunch of videos of how makeup works, for beginners to more advanced artists!

Then make your signature look for every using your knowledge.

FRAGRANCE

Invest in a good eau de parfum and eau de toilette. Cheap fragrances suck.

Invest in a good-scented lotion. My favourite brand is Vaseline.

Using a good nice fabric softener for laundry makes you feel and smell fresh

Using an expensive scented body wash doesn’t matter, invest in a good body lotion.

HAIR STYLING

Hairstyles that enhance your face shape, not shield it.

Having a simple signature look for everyday

Experimenting with your hair is ideal, but if you can't for whatever reason once again research.

GRADE 4 – PERSONALITY

The way you seem to others can make you so much prettier. Fake it till you make it as always~

POSTURE

Having good posture makes you stand out, makes you look prettier and is generally good for your health

Chin is parallel to the floor, shoulders are down and relaxed, rib cage is elevated, pelvis is tucked in, your knees straight and flexed, and the weight on your feet should be in the center.

You can stretch for good posture, there are many videos on this on YouTube.

Ensure your sleeping position is promoting good posture, not poor.

Buy a back brace to reinforce good posture.

BODY LANGUAGE

Learn how to move your body during conversations to seem more self-respected and confident.

Train your facial expressions for different situations, but especially for taking photos.

There are tons of books and videos on this, won’t expand because this is all about how you want others to perceive you.

ELOQUENCE

Improve the way you communicate with others. Be fluent and clear to understand

Expand your vocabulary, know how to substitute words on the spot and make sentences.

Knowing what to say in like any and every conversation makes people like you more, and the best way to be more eloquent is just practice.

There are so many good books about this.. read.

GRADE 5 – MIND

Personally, having a good mindset does boost your self-perception of your prettiness + being happier in general makes you more inclined to take care of yourself = being more pretty!!!

MENTAL HEALTH

Start journaling as a way to organise your thoughts and to truly analyse your emotions. There are a lot of journaling prompts on Pinterest and such!

Meditation as a way to clear the mind when needed is so good. There are a bunch more meditations for other purposes though like body image, productivity, focus or just general relaxation.

Go to therapy, or just have at least one person you can talk to when life becomes tough.

Cut back on social media. There's misinformation, trolls and a lot of content that isn't nourishing your mind.

Get some sun! Simple and doable, but has a huge effect on the body. It can improve the current mood. Wear sunscreen.

Start learning how to process situations, instead of bypassing the emotions that come with them.

Start surrounding yourself with like-minded people. Seriously, being around people who are just too different is draining.

MINDSET

Embrace growth and reject all forms of comfort. Being uncomfortable with something is growth.

Don’t do things because you ‘have’ to do this, do them because they benefit you and see it in that way. E.g ‘I’m going to clean my room because I deserve a clean place to rest and work’ instead of ‘I have to clean my room’

Become detached. Stop letting everything that happens in your life affect you, start observing instead of consuming.

Self validates yourself. Tam Kaur did a wonderful video on this that I think everyone should watch.

Stop believing that everything and everyone is out to get you. Your subconscious mind believes this, do not feed it, starve it.

There's a lot to say about mindset, but I recommend watching some mindset YouTubers who explain everything in depth.

and now,,,, here's a ANOTHER gift from lanny because u read her post. And liked it. And reblogged it. And followed her.. pleaseee

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elodieunderglass · 10 months

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Mad Spring - sour gummies, you feral little goblin. Tangfastics. Airheads. Sour Patch Kids. Like High Summer, you choose fruit-flavored gummy sweets, but you pick ones coated in Pain Sugar. It isn’t enough to just get sugar: you’re chasing a different Sensory Experience (TM) than the rest. And that’s great.

Warm Spring - white chocolate, ruby chocolate, pastel mint drops, cotton candy, bubblegum. Marshmallows. Sweet, creamy, usually pastel. You have no particular objection to floral tastes like lavender and rose. You may be able to appreciate Turkish Delight.

Midsummer - tropical fruits: chewy and slightly creamy in pastel colors. Starburst/Opal Fruit, Creamsicles/Solero. Maoam strips. Cream sodas. Skittles, despite being jewel-toned, are in this season. Coconut and pineapple flavors go here. Also the home of chalky-type sweets like Love Hearts/candy hearts, smarties (usa) and You may be also able to appreciate Turkish Delight.

High Summer - Gummy bears and chewy, jellyish, jammy, gummy, springy in bright jewel tones. Gummy worms and jelly snakes, jelly babies, jelly beans, Haribo. Clearer and gummier than Midsummer.

Autumn Night - darker and more complex sweetness, often including an element of burning or alcohol, or another challenge. Cherry cordials, marzipan, champagne truffles. Also home of burnt-sugar tastes: maple candy, bonfire toffee, candy corn. Also home of matcha; red liquorice; red bean paste. When people bring you sweets from other countries, they’ll choose unusual local delicacies. You almost certainly were fascinated as a kid by lollipops at the science museum sold with real bugs in them.

Autumn Salt - peanut butter and peanut brittle, salted caramel, toffee, butterscotch. Toffee popcorn, Reese’s Peanut Butter cups, Snickers, Daim. If nobody has any nuts, you’ll choose chocolate with nuts, crisp or crunch over other things. Sweet just isn’t enough.

Winter Spice - herbal, spicy and medicinal sweets, usually hard old-fashioned sweets. Red-hots, burning cinnamon, chilli - eucalyptus, root beer, menthol; sarsaparilla. Hard candy, generally: old fashioned ‘boiled sweets,’ things that look gorgeous in glass jars. Parma violets. Fisherman’s Friends. You’re the only person who would eat a gingerbread house after decorating it. You’re also possibly a ghost, or used to be a Mad Spring. It’s also about the SENSATION.

Midwinter - dark black Licorice. Salty? Sweet? saltlakrids? Allsorts? Australian? You might like other things too, but when your loved ones are in another country, they go to the licorice aisle and get you the weirdest local variant they can find.

Long Winter - true chocolate, basic chocolate stuff: M&Ms. Dairy Milk. Hershey’s Kiss. But also home of fudgy tastes and sugar-on-sugar in a long slow sauce. Marshmallow, Handmade fudge, Phish Food ice cream.

Cool Winter - naturally, the homebase of minty tastes. peppermint wheels, York’s Peppermint Patties, After Eights. Also orange - chocolate orange - and, oddly, pixie sticks/sherbet and other sweet things that involve eating simple flavored sugar.

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theastrical · 19 days

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their reaction when you’re sick.

genshin men reaction when you’re sick.

kaeya/diluc/childe x reader

note: hmmm i don’t know what i write

Kaeya’s reaction when you’re sick.

“hey what’s wrong? you barely talk or even move, anything you wanna share? moodswings?..”, his voice soft, mellow, something you can listen throughout even when you’re asleep.

kaeya is the type of person to be worried in the inside, he can keep his calm which is a good thing, but it kept you wonderingr, “does this man actually love me or is he good at hiding it?”. So when you’re sick, he keep his calm. He buys you medicines and leave for work. Although he seemingly left work early just to take care of you.

He would feed you meals, very slowly just incase you can’t keep up with your usual pace. Silently would observe your behaviour from afar, making sure you’re not consuming anything that would make you much more sick. He would hide your snacks and instant noodles, your sodas or bubble tea. He would also limit your social media screen time by going through your phone, cause you always play with your socials instead of resting. Anything possibly distracting your resting hours is a NO for this man, kaeya only wants you to rest, rest and rest.

The medicines he bought are various, either a herbal tradition medicine he bought from a liyue merchant, a modern capsule of paracetamol, or his hand-made herbal medicines. He made it so bitter that you could easily puke and he would feed the whole thing onto your throat so choking is an understandable respond. somehow his medicine works on you 10 times better than the others though. “My hands are definitely meant for this line of work, also for your recovery..hehe..”

Diluc’s reaction when you’re sick.

“you’re sick again..?”, a silent murmur he made when he saw how weak you are currently.

immediately knows when you’re sick, since he could remember any symptoms that you’ve occurred before. This is something he must remember (he thinks), since he doesn’t want to repeat another same-page of history. So when you’re sick, he didn’t panic, instead, he would let the professionals do the work instead of him, avoiding the worst possibility when he’s the one in charge.

would checked up on you every hour by touching your forehead, caressing your hands, or holding onto your hands. His touch is delicate, like a soft cloud scheming through your skin, not with his leather gloves, just the simple touch of his hands. It makes it hard to resist since diluc’s caresses are addictive, and at some point, you would find yourself waking up in the middle of the night just to search for his touch. “i’m right here…you’re cold..?”, then he would cuddle you, stroking your hair, and kisses your forehead.

when you recover, he would take you out to a fancy dinner, treating you for being good while having to endure bitter medicines or food you don’t even like just to survive another day. He spoils you with gifts and foods that you can’t eat when you’re still sick, it cost thousands of moras but it’s all worth it, at least for the sake to keep his beloved happy.

Childe’s reaction when you’re sick

“you’re not okay, let me help you.”, he would kissed your cheeks afterwards, to let you know that he’s here for you.

He can recognise your sickness just by seeing your pale demeanour and stiff body which is to him, is very visible (you don’t even remember how you usually look like before so he’s insane for that). he would checked it once more by touching your forehead or observing your body response overall, if his observation list are all check-listed then you are indeed sick. He turns into a full time caregiver, he has many job experiences, therefore entrusting yourself to this man is a good choice. In his mind, his number one priority is you, hence he would abandon his duty to take care of you until you fully recover.

He would cook a meal that can compete over 5 stars restaurant. It’s so tasty it’s insane that he made it with his own hands. The food is undeniably healthy, it’s only made with organic ingredients that he picked up from the local farmers, no preservative or artificial ingredients, all made with love using his own groceries. The food doesn’t taste bland, in fact it’s very flavourful, the food itself is already a medicine for his beloved since it consist herbs to strengthen the immune system. He would feed you, wipe your mouth, even help you drink the juice he made to make the recovery process bearable.

The medicines he picked are those that are meant for children but can be consumed for adults too, not capsules, but syrups. So you won’t be able to resist consuming since it doesn’t taste bitter. At some point he would bought the chinese herbs that are strong at taste..but he made the chinese herbs into food instead so it wouldn’t burden your tongue. The recovery speed is steady and fast, his way of making you heal is effectively acclaimed by his brothers and sisters. After every medicine or food you eat, he would kiss your hand and carry you to bed again, covering you with a blanket and help you sleep. Singing a lullaby for you and makes sure that his company helps your heart relaxes.

“rest well, i’m here.”

taglist: @dailypenpen , @daydreaming-paradies

#childe x reader #kaeya x reader #diluc x reader #ajax x reader #kaeya alberich x reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #genshin impact fanfic #genshin impact x reader #diluc #kaeya #childe

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captainpondlilly · 4 months

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Okay! The Gilear plush has arrived. This is my best attempt at all of his lines. Two have been unintelligible to me, and several are pretty long and fast which made it hard to follow.

My search history is.. hospitals near me, foot stuck in object, head stuck in object

You're low, he's low, It's Gilear's day baby!*

A guy on the street kicked me in the nuts as hard he could

I don't like "lunchlad"

Help me to understand what I have done to deserve this

My horoscope says "today is a good day to die motherfucker"

I ate a quick cup of yogurt on the way over here to bolster my spirits after I changed, I'm ever so sorry

What do you mean "When" life gives you lemons

I went to apply for the guidance counselor position but I was usurped by a drug dealing werewolf named Jawbone

In my haste to put the armor on I buckled the leg plate and think I clipped the tip of my penis against one of the leg plates and Everytime I move it feels like it might fall off so I ASSURE you demon I have no pride to speak of!

In highschool I was voted "Most Likely To Get Pushed Out Of A Tree"

My car was repossessed by the ride share app that I was working for

It's actually a good thing that no one came to my birthday party because the bounce house flooded and was swept out to sea

I just discovered that *all* of my emails have been going to everyone's spam

Unfortunately I have been banned from that hot air balloon service not because of anything that happened to me in particular but the guys who run it just sort of know my whole deal

Mmm this yogurt tastes like *potatoes*

I asked the woman at Home Depot why my plants kept dying and she said it seemed like they were reaching away from the sun

I've found out recently that one of my shoes is so filled with mildew because a pipe in my bedroom is leaking and I've developed a fungal infection in my foot which I didn't know was possible for elves to get

I don't think that I've ever "Peaked" in that we started neutral and have been going downhill ever since

I am currently trapped in a storm drain. The bottom half of me is above the ground, the other is below

Another Own Goal for Gilear Faeth, yes

Everyone knows you eat 7 spiders in your sleep every year, but I have a bunch coming into me the backway

My sandcastle I'm afraid was destroyed, as I was about to finish it, the tide came in and with it a man holding a bazooka who shot me and killed me

I know you're not going to believe this but Ive just been kicked by a snake

I found out the hard way that people can legally reject status as an emergency contact

The title of my autobiography is going to be Gilear Faeth: Please Stop

On my way here I was carrying a large bowl of Italian wedding soup which shattered on the ground in front of me and several of the small pasta balls rolled through the cracks and alerted vermin to my presence. I've since learned after a trip to the hospital I am deathly allergic to the sting of millipedes which is a way of me saying I need someone to come down to the hospital and pay for this. There is a doctor holding a gun to my head and now that I think about it this clinic is in the back of a storage unit and I think have gone to the wrong place

he said and I quote "he'd stomp my goon ass" if I ever got on his bus again

Gorthalax it was very nice to meet you, you've made a cuckold of me

We're the throw up boys!*

I've been informed that the brownies I consumed were laced with cannabis and rat poison

I am completely unprepared for the perils ahead and am deeply frightened, I'll go get the coffee

A gorilla monster punched me so hard in the back of the head I died

Today I have been hit by 3 scooters

Everytime you squeeze my hand it breaks several small bones

My imaginary friend as a child ghosted me because he said I was too depressing

Do you want me to go back? I warn you, it will break me

Can I interest you in an herbal soda? You must understand I am an intern at a ponzi scheme*

When I go to sleep at night I dream of a world where I might be able to walk through a field without stepping on a rake or gopher hole

If anyone needs me... I will be surprised.

If it wasn't for bad luck, Id have no luck is both true and what was written upon the billboard I crashed through

I wonder if any of these will feature in Junior year 👀

*Thanks to @cappa-cappa for telling me the lines I wasn't able to make out!!

#d20 #dimension 20 #naddpod #bahumia #brian murphy #emily axford #brennan lee mulligan #gilear faeth #siobhan thompson #lou wilson #ally beardsley #dropout #spire #fantasy high #fantasy high freshman year #fantasy high sophomore year #fantasy high junior year

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alder-saan · 1 year

Text

Infirmary

Larissa x blind! reader

Warnings : mention of violence.

Flirting and teasing.

You are the new school doctor at Nevermore...

Word count: ~2.9k

Thanks to @tanith-rhea and @bobia13 for beta-reading it! (And @on-an-egotrip who was a bit late but still thank you)

You were writing on your Braille keyboard. This was the end of your first week at Nevermore as the new school doctor. An earphone on, you were listening at the computer-generated voice saying the sentences you were typing.

You heard someone walking next to the infirmary. Long strides, steady click of heels on the parquet. Probably Principal Weems. The steps stopped in front of the opened door. Yes, that definitely was Principal Weems. You recognized her deep breath rhythm. You waited for her to talk to you, but she didn’t say anything.

Larissa was watching you. You seemed so absorbed by your work, she found this somehow cute. She may have had a little bit of a crush on you. She was staring at you, at your hair falling in front of your white eyes, at your hands running on the keyboard, at your so attractive lips, unaware that you could hear her.

And you knew she was staring. That made you smile. Principal Larissa Weems, staring at you… That was quite pleasant.

Why are they smiling? she thought

And you continued typing, as if you didn’t know she was there. And she continued looking at you, your white coat, your skin... When she had read your resume, she was reluctant to hire you because of your blindness. Nevermore was not really suitable for blind people. But in your interview with her, you told her about the abilities of your other senses which allowed you to move around without too much trouble. And then you had an assistant, Simon. Now she was very happy to have hired you. She was very happy because she could look at you. But during the interview, she also noticed this ring you had. A little gold ring, a little gold ring engraved with fine writing that she could not read. And as you had a ring, she knew she would never be able to make a move, and flirt with you. You already belonged to someone else. She knew she could never have you. So she just looked at you.

“Do you want to talk to me, or are you just here to stare, Principal Weems?” You asked.

Her eyes widened. How did you know?

“If you just want to stare, go ahead. I don’t mind.”

“Can you… see me?”

“I can’t, I’m blind, Principal. But I can hear you.”

She cleared her throat.

“I wanted to talk to you but… as you were working I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“Don’t worry, come, I always have time for my boss.”

You heard her heels approaching you, and her floral perfume wrapped you. She sat on the chair in front of your desk.

“I wanted to ask if your week went well.”

“Oh, pretty well, thank you. Do you want tea or something? I have tea, coffee, herbal tea, some sodas or fruit juice.”

“Er…”

“Tyl’, can you make me a cup of tea, please? Do you want one, Principal Weems?”

“What kind of tea?”

“Earl Grey. I’m pretty basic.”

Now she thought about this, the entire infirmary smelled Earl Grey. Actually, your mug was never empty. Everyone has their own addictions.

“A safe bet. I’d like one, thank you.”

“Two cups of tea, Tyl’.”

The kettle began to boil.

“Who’s Tyl’?”

“Uh? Oh, Tylgoedin, it’s an enchantment a friend of mine made for me. It’s basically like Alexa but more efficient.”

“And… Can you do all that you want with it?”

“No, I _or anyone else_ have to do the action at least one time for it to memorise. And then it just does the same thing again and again. I can teach him new things, but usually, it's a non blind person who does it for me.”

“I didn’t know that kind of thing existed…”

She looked at the kettle, and then two mugs floated in the air to the table on which the kettle was. Two tea-bags went out of a small box, settling on their own in the mugs.

“It allowed me not to have someone permanently with me. I can live alone thanks to this enchantment.”

She frowned. You had a ring. Did your… partner let you live alone? What kind of partner was it?

“You live alone?”

“Yes, why?”

“I thought you… were engaged or married. Or maybe you don’t live with them… Which is… totally fine. I’m not questioning your life choices. That would be unprofessional and inappropriate.”

You suppressed a chuckle.

“My ring, isn’t it?”

“Yes.”

“Mh, that’s Tyl’, the enchantment is on ring, I mean. I decided to put it on my ring finger to show my ex-colleague I wasn’t interested. But that’s true I don’t need to do this anymore.”

Her eyes widened, her heart warmed. So you were neither engaged nor married. She might have a chance with you.

“A simple ‘no’ wasn’t enough?”

“He learnt I was a lesbian and thought he could change me...”

The tea now brewed, the two cups came towards you. So you were a lesbian, uh? That was good to know. Larissa took a sip.

“Men…” She said in a sigh.

“And you?”

“And what “me”?”

“Engaged? Married?”

She blinked in disbelief. Were you really asking her if you had someone?

As she was taking time to answer, you got worried. She was your boss. You couldn’t just flirt with her like that.

“I’m sorry, that’s inappropriate. Just forget what I-”

“No, that’s okay, sweetheart. I’m single.”

You blushed and coughed, hearing the pet name.

“S-So, what did you want to ask me? Apart from whether my week went well.”

“Yeah, I have two more questions. First, is everything alright? I understand if you need facilities due to your disability.”

“I will just need time to program Tyl’, that’s all.”

She nodded.

“Did you see many students this week?”

“See? None.” you giggled.

“Oh, of course, sorry, well… You know what I mean, right?”

“Yes, don’t worry, I’m just messing with you. A few came here. headaches, stomachaches, hypoglycemia...Usual stuff. Mmh, yeah, one panic attack. But that’s all.”

“Who was it?”

The worries in her voice made your heart melt. She cared so deeply about her students, that was adorable.

“Enid Sinclair, if I remember well. But I'm not quite sure.”

“Blue eyes, blond hair, pink and blue high-” she stopped as she realised you couldn’t recognize her with this kind of description. “Talks a lot, really kind, unbearably curious”

“I think that’s her. I cannot tell you more about it, but don’t worry, she’s okay now.”

“I understand, thank you.”

You instinctively fidgeted your ring, as the silence returned. You knew she was watching you. It was as if you could feel her gaze on you. But you didn't know what she was thinking. You were afraid you had been too direct with your question, a little earlier, that you had said, at one point, something inappropriate. She made you nervous. But you tried to hide it.

“Do you have… another question?”

“No, that’s all, Dr Y/L/N. Thank you for answering.”

“You’re welcome, principal Weems.”

And then she left. Only the scent of her perfume lingered behind her.

A week went by.

You were eating your lunch on a bench in the courtyard when your phone rang. That was Simon, your nurse colleague.

“Simon, is there a problem?”

“Y/N? Yes, yes, there is a big problem now. I can’t handle it. Either you come now or I call the emergency room”

“I’m on my way, what’s the problem?”

“Principal Weems had been attacked by normies. She managed to drive back to Nevermore and walk to the infirmary, but she threw up and her head is bleeding.” He quickly spouted off.

Your blood froze as you recognized the words "attacked" and "Principal Weems" in his frantic gibberish. Shit. It could have been a concussion…

“I’ll be there in one minute.”

You hung up.

You almost ran into three students. You knew the way to the infirmary by heart, but you couldn't predict where the students were, and your ear was overwhelmed by all the noise around you.

“Sorry, sorry, it’s an emergency.”

You tried to protect your ears as much as you could. This was really uncomfortable. Some teenagers grumbled "watch out!" as you passed.

You arrived in the infirmary, breathless. But you had no time to catch your breath.

“Where is she?”

“She is lying in one of the resting rooms. The left one. I gave her water and painkillers.”

“Thank you Simon.”

You walked to the resting room. When you opened the door, you heard Larissa’s breathing. It was calm, and it comforted you. The stillness in the room was appeasing the tinnitus in your ears.

“Dr Y/L/N?” she articulated.

“Yes, that’s me, how do you feel?” you said as you carefully closed the door behind you.

“Strange.”

“That’s normal. Can you give me your hand, please?” you held out your hand towards the voice.

“Why?”

“You know, my ability. I can know where you’re hurt by touching your skin.”

“Oh, right, right.”

Her hand touched yours. You gently squeezed it, appreciating the softness of her skin, and concentrated. You automatically knew all of her body, from its outer form to the smallest cell of which it was composed. You spotted a superficial wound on her temple and some bruises on her ribs and arms. You inspected her brain very carefully, trying to ignore the dopamine and oxytocin her brain was secreting. But there was nothing abnormal or serious. A small concussion, she would need to rest. More fear than harm. You let her hand out.

“You’re really beautiful, darling, you know?”

You felt your cheeks warming. Why would she say that now? The blow to her head must have been harder than you thought… But why didn’t you find anything?

“I was about to say nothing serious, but I might be wrong.”

“Oh, come on, can’t you just accept a compliment?”

“Then thank you, you too.”

“You don’t need to say that, you know. Especially if you can’t see.”

“I touched you. I know all about your body. Even your blood type and your chronic back pain, darling.”

“Jesus! Do you know my DNA too?”

“I cannot know that. But what I do know is that holding my hand makes you secreting pleasure hormones”

“Eh! That’s unfair!”

“Life’s not fair, Principal Weems.”

You smirked, and while turning around, you asked Tylgoedin for some bandages, cotton and antiseptic for Larissa's wound. You heard her moving in the bed, behind you, but gave it no attention. The three items floated to your hands, and you took a step back, willing to approach you from her.

But she was right behind you, sitting on the bed. You didn’t properly calculate the distance between you and her. You lost your balance, bumping into her knees, and fell directly onto her lap, as everything you had in your hands hit the ground. She wrapped her arms around your waist.

“Nice catch.” she said.

Nice calculations, she thought

“I’m sorry, Principal Weems. I didn’t want to…” You felt your heart racing.

“Call me Larissa, darling.”

“Al-alright. Then I’m sorry, Larissa.”

“Don’t, that’s not your fault.”

“Can you let me stand up, now?”

“Can't you bandage me from my lap?”

You were about to argue but… Being on her lap was quite nice. You snapped your fingers, and the items on the floor flew into your hands.

“I can.”

Tylgoedin poured a few drops of disinfectant on the cotton. You could hardly concentrate, her arms around your waist, her breathing so close to you. You could almost hear her heartbeat.

“Good, because I won’t let you go,” she purred

“Is that a kidnapping, Principal Weems?” you teased.

You began to disinfect her wound, and you felt her tense up as you applied the antiseptic.

“Sort of. For me to release you, you'll have to allow me something... a date, for example.”

You tried to hide your giggle and your blush, but as your head was a few inches separated from hers, she could see your reaction. You wondered if she could feel the warm glowing from your cheeks.

“How dare you flirt with me during my working hours?”

“Well technically, this is your lunchtime.”

“True.”

She turned her head towards you. Your hand on her cheek allowed you to know where she was looking. And she was looking at you, at your eyes, your lips, your neck.

“You know, when I said you were beautiful, I meant it.”

“Oh, hush. Stop talking or I’ll disinfect your eye.”

You never liked this kind of compliment. It reminded you you could never tell if it was true or not. And honestly, many people, especially teens and pre-teens, told you you were not beautiful, even ugly, because of your white eyes and the fact you couldn’t wear makeup. Now, compliments sounded like a bad joke to you.

“Why would you disinfect my eye?” she asked, half laughing.

You wrapped a small bandage around her head.

“Because to say such nonsense, you probably have something in your eyes which prevents you from seeing properly.”

“Darling, among the two of us, you are the blind one. So trust me on all the appearance stuff, okay?”

“You might be right. It’s just… Compliments on what I look make me uncomfortable.”

“Okay then. What if I say you have a really beautiful voice?”

You smiled. That was the kind of thing you liked to hear. You put your lips on the bandage on her temple and kissed it.

“Are you kissing my boo-boos?”

"Yeah, it’s a part of my ability, I can remove pain with kisses." It wasn’t. But she had no way to prove it.

"What if I feel pain somewhere else?"

You verified, but you couldn’t spot pain anywhere else right now. She was lying.

"You don't, I know it"

"I do! Just here." With a smirk, she put her fingertip to her lips.

“You smart girl…”

You put your other hand on her other cheek and kissed her. Her lipstick made it feel strange, but not unpleasant. And you could know her heart was racing, and her brain was releasing oxytocin. She moved her hands behind you, holding you tighter. Her lips against yours, her breath on your face, that was all you wanted right now. Her teeth sunk into your bottom lip, and you made a sweet moan. She kissed you, again and again, moving very slowly to lay you down on the bed. She left some kisses on your cheeks, on your jaw, on your neck, at the edge of your shirt, which wasn’t covered by your white coat since it was your lunchtime. Her hands went under your clothes, caressing the skin on your ribs.

“Larissa…”

“I want you, Y/N”

She was driving you crazy. You knew she wanted you. Through the contact of her lips on your skin, of her fingertips on your belly and of your hands on her cheeks, you knew she was getting wet.

“I know,” you whispered.

You buried your fingers in her hair, it was soft, almost smooth. Her perfume enveloped you completely, so that all around you was her. The lips on your skin : her. The intoxicating scent : her. Those hair you felt under your touch : her. This body, towering you, pressing you against the bed : her. The sweet moans : her. The hands on your hips, running a finger under your shirt : her. The breathing sound and the heartbeat : her. But you couldn’t get enough. You wanted more.

Then the clock rang. It was the end of your lunchtime.

You sighed. You had to work. You didn’t want to but…

“Larissa, let me go, please.”

She groaned and caressed your cheek.

“I don’t want to.”

“Me neither, but my boss won’t be happy to learn I spend my working hours kissing a pretty girl in the resting room.”

“This is a kidnapping, sweetheart, your boss won’t say anything, it’s against your will...”

You chuckled. You really wanted to stay with her. You wanted her. Her body, her scent, her hands, her breathing, her hair, her lips, and her heart.

“I accept your offer of a date, then.”

“Okay, okay, you may go. But wait a second.”

She rubbed her thumb on your skin.

“What are you doing?” you asked

“You wouldn’t want every student to see my lipstick colour on your skin, would you?”

“God, I forgot it could leave stains…”

As hard as you could love her dominating you, you loved her just as much taking care of you. You let her clean your skin, knowing she was smiling while looking at your own smile.

“That’s all, no lipstick stains left.”

“Thank you.”

You stood up. Now she wasn’t touching you anymore, you couldn’t know what she was doing, you didn’t like that, not knowing all about her.

“You need to rest, at least for 24h”

“Can I at least have my laptop, I need to work.”

“No work.”

“But I have to-”

“It is a work stoppage, doctor's order. No work.”

“Not even a single email?”

“Not even a “single” email. Nothing. Nic. Nada. Nichts. Nulla. Nietsego. Capice?”

“Okay, okay, Dr Y/L/N.” she laughed “And for our date?”

“What about… Sunday? To the Weathervane?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“If you need anything, I’m at my desk.”

And you went out of the resting room.

_________________________________________

Hope you all enjoyed it!

#larissa x reader #larissa weems x reader #larissa #principal larissa weems #larissa weems #nevermore #wednesday tv series #wednesday

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