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#her tag is just way two fun i gotta talk abt her more <>
radiozap777 · 1 year
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I posted 4,990 times in 2022
7 posts created (0%)
4,983 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@/themangodojo
@/willowwish64
@/kibasniper
@/rotten-dan
I tagged 1,486 of my posts in 2022
#cats - 213 posts
#pjsekai - 115 posts
#splatoon - 113 posts
#pjsk - 72 posts
#animals - 69 posts
#comfort character - 59 posts
#pkmn - 59 posts
#birds - 47 posts
#fr - 33 posts
#dragons - 29 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#awwwww aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My Top Posts in 2022:
(I added a read more myself. You're welcome)
#5
Tara please you cant keep queuing these time-specific posts they always post at 11 am no matter what why is it always 11 am
IF THIS IS ABT THE BEDTIME STAR IT'S BECAUSE IM ALWAYS READY FOR BED /J
1 note - Posted June 10, 2022
#4
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are... are you sure this post is #cats? are you certain? kfskgksggsgksgkskf
HOW DID THAT GET THERE
2 notes - Posted April 23, 2022
#3
ʟᴜᴄᴀs ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ₃
[text id: "lucas mother 3". end id]
ask game
favorite thing about them
his character arc! i like how he personally resolved to become stronger, but never truly becomes free from his worries. strength and bravery isnt being free of worries
least favorite thing about them
in ssb brawl they kinda made him... act pathetic in subspace emissary.
favorite line
"N-n-n-no! He didn't take dad's homemade knife to go into the mountains to kill the Drago!" like dude you tried so hard to lie and yet. and yet.
brOTP
probably with the rest of the party in-game. they're great pals and i love their friendship! they have a fun dynamic :D
OTP
nothing comes to mind. i mean i have a crossover ship with a friend but nobody would understand LOL
nOTP
other than the obvious? w/ ness. i headcanon them as like siblings so i cant ship it anymore </3
random headcanon
he's roomies with ness and the ice climbers in the smash manor!
unpopular opinion
i think he still deserves to be shy and gentle. again, strength and bravery have nothing to do with kindness and shyness.
also i think he hates wario after subspace emissary LMAO
song i associate with them
...apparently i dont even have a playlist for him. well. take the theme of love instead
favorite picture of them
there's like no official art of him :') sorry
2 notes - Posted January 24, 2022
#2
you gotta stop queuing nightly bedrock dude it's posting at 11 am
BUT WHAT ABT THE AUSTRALIANS /hj
3 notes - Posted June 9, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
nene
ask game
favorite thing about them
the way she's so shy but still snarky and it's not jarring. it's so funny jndsfjknkds
least favorite thing about them
how little content there is of her :') she's best girl what are you guys talking about
favorite line
she has a lot of fun lines hmmm. how about fav interaction? in which case it's the one with her, emu, and rui in the wonderland sekai; she says the flowers' faces scrunch up when you startle them, kind of like the face emu makes when she eats a sour food. when emu demonstrates she starts laughing and auugh its so cute <3
brOTP
w/ rui. i think they just chill
OTP
w/ wonderlands x showtime as a whole! all three of the others. i think polyam wxs has a super cute and funny dynamic. nenekasa? hilarious. emunene? adorable. ruinene? childhood friends to lovers. fsr this is the only way i can see her ending up in a romantic relationship with either of the boys and while i dont know why i just ADORE polyam wxs
nOTP
nothing really comes to mind? i havent seen a ship that made me go "yikes no"
random headcanon
she's a tsundere LMAO. she gets flustered when ppl are nice to her. full on "shut up b-b-baka"
unpopular opinion
i dont really have one
song i associate with them
other than the songs she actually sings? Games by Kira! wlw love story about two girls falling in love over video games. also it's vocaloid, so bonus points
favorite picture of them
i have a few, under the cut they go!
all images have id in alt text
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See the full post
6 notes - Posted January 24, 2022
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fool-shipps · 3 years
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my girlfriend guys ♦♦♦
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getofy · 3 years
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bakugo as your boyfriend would include...
request: what would dating bakugo be like?
gn!reader (but there are slight fem themes if you squint); fluff; headcanons; no spoilers
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character: bakugo katsuki
a/n: this goes out to my one & only <333. ilysm deku kinnie pls enjoy! also, @ bakugo simps i hope this feeds u well. he’s sm fun to write for. headcanons + a short playlist are under the cut.
*ty to my bakugo kinnie/simp friend for helping me write this. i appreciate u. A LOT of these ideas r hers!!
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FALLING IN LOVE WITH HIM SOUNDS LIKE:
01. TEENAGE DIRTBAG by WHEATUS
02. GUTTER GIRL by HFHW
03. BOYFREN by LOVE LEO
04. IN TOO DEEP by SUM 41
05. TOUNGES by THE FRIGHTS
06. R U MINE? by ARCTIC MONKEYS
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katsuki is a very emotional person. he feels incredibly deep and profound things, but has trouble expressing it in a healthy manner. this being so, him as your s/o would consist of a lot of subtle displays of affection! such as...
-> SHOWING YOU HOW TO DO STUFF:
he’ll teach you small things about his hobbies. will 100% show you how to play the drums, mountain climb, etc.
literally you learn so much with him it’s insane. he claims it’s because he couldn’t stand dating an incapable person, but in reality it’s just because he likes feeling useful/needed HAHA.
-> TOUCHING YOU:
this man is lowkey super clingy...so he will always find a way to be physically close to you.
a BIG fan of putting his arm around your shoulder fs. don’t mention it to him though because he’ll IMMEDIATELY stop doing it.
-> LETTING YOU SIT ON HIS LAP:
if you’re comfortable with it, he’d adore it if you sat on his lap!! like fr if you walked up to him when he was lounging on the couch and did it this is how it would go...
“what’re you doing?”
“sitting down, why?”
he just stares and then grunts before going back to whatever he was doing
don’t let his indifference fool you, he is very pleased.
probably looked up at the ceiling and thought about it for an hour once you left
he thinks about you a lot
-> ALWAYS COOKING FOR YOU:
he pretends like it’s a nuisance, but it genuinely makes his day when you eat the stuff he prepares. literally if you’re hungry just ask him to make you smth and he’ll do it. he actually gets angry if you decide to cook without him.
one time, katsuki seemed really tired because of training and school. so you tried to make something for the both of you guys to enjoy together. it uh...didn’t go well...
“what are you doing?!”
“cutting vegetables...”
“no. you’re doing it all wrong. give me the knife.”
“excuse me??”
“GIVE ME THE KNIFE.”
you ended up giving him the knife
the meal was great!?? but he scolded you for like 30 minutes after PLS.
-> SHOWING YOU OFF:
he’s proud that you’re his s/o, so of course he’s gonna brag about you to EVERYONE.
it’s not overbearing or in an annoying way either. it’s moreso him talking about your accomplishments and stuff like that.
he literally only shows you off for his own benefit. NEEDS everyone to know how cool you and him both are.
it’s an ego thing.
i take back what i said abt it not being annoying. it’s a nuisance to everyone who ain’t you.
-> SITTING NEXT TO YOU:
like i said before, he needs to be close to you at all times. sooo he always sits next to you. no questions asked.
expect to see a pouting, petty katsuki if you decide to sit next to somebody that isn’t him.
“are you seriously mad that i sat next to deku and not you on the bus?!”
“‘COURSE IM MAD.”
“you’re impossible.”
“HUH??????”
-> LETTING YOU WEAR HIS CLOTHES:
PRACTICALLY CHUCKS HIS SHIRTS AND HOODIES AT YOU. LITERALLY JUST- PELTS YOU WITH HIS CLOTHES UNTIL YOU PUT THEM ON.
you took his hoodie without asking ONE TIME and now he’s hooked on seeing you in his clothing.
he’ll always pretend like he’s doing you a favor though.
gotta love how annoying he is! 
-> GIFT GIVING
i wouldn’t go as far to say that gift giving is his love language, but he’ll buy things that you bring up in causal conversation a whole lot.
he just kinda bashfully shoves the gift in your hands and watches as you fawn over it.
“awww! how’d you know??”
“you wouldn’t shut up about it.”
he loves seeing your pleased expression!! +100 boost to katsuki’s confidence.
-> HELPING YOU WITH ACADEMICS:
we ALL know how smart this man is.
he will 100% help you study for school if you’re struggling!
don’t expect him to go easy on you though.
if anything, he’ll probably be harder on you because he really wants to see you succeed.
he basically carries you through math
-> KNOWING MUNDANE FACTS ABOUT YOU:
i can see him knowing EVERYTHING about you. your birthday, your morning routine, your favorite snacks, your favorite songs, etc.
it doesn’t take a lot for him to remember this stuff either???
like, he thinks you’re unforgettable, so he just knows
-> WANTING TO IMPRESS YOU:
he wants you to know how cool he is so bad it’s laughable.
he’ll show off during training exercises FOR SUREEEE
bakusquad teases him abt it when he does lol they ALLL know how whipped he is for you
kirishima: wow, you’re really into it today bakugo!
denki: well (y/n) IS watching
bakugo: SHUT UP.
MISC HEADCANONS!
-> you enable him so much...like way too much. please get on that. someone needs to hold this stupid man accountable. he probably likes it when you scold him despite his protests so don’t be afraid to tell him off baby.
-> your approval makes his heart go $$/!/?!!!error??77776. like, even before you two started dating, he would ALWAYS feel flustered whenever you would compliment his outfits, fighting style, etc. now that you guys are dating, he still feels extremely dazed when you dote on him.
he’ll probably act super cocky about it though
“ ‘course i look good, idiot.” 
he’s trying his best to suppress the stupid smile trying to take over his face. eventually, he lets it out, and tbh everyone in 1A knows that it’s because of smth cheesy you told him.
he is SUCH a softie for you it HURTTSSSS GAHHHH!!
-> katsuki is a very protective boyfriend.
this goes for everything, but especially applies during intense situations.
will literally lay his life down for you without thinking twice about it. don’t fight me on this. it’s canon.
if you’re going on a dangerous mission, you BEST believe this man is tagging along with you.
if for some reason he can’t go, he’ll make it a point to stay up way past his bed time waiting for you to come back.
when katsuki chooses you over sleep just know that you’ve won at life.
he doesn’t see you as inferior in any way. he knows you can handle yourself, but he really wants to keep you safe bc if something bad happened to the love of his life he would be in shambles.
on a lighter note, if mineta bugs you, he’ll absolutely wreck him. will literally punt that grape boy into the next stratosphere.
also!! he’s not the type to care about what you wear. if you’re wearing smth a bit more revealing, the most he’ll say is that you look hot. literally is so unbothered.
he trusts you a lot so it’s like 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
protective ≠ possessive
-> dates w/ him are super all over the place! one weekend, you guys will just chill in his dorm and the next he’ll be laughing maniacally as he chases you down during an intense round of laser tag.
-> he’s big fan of competition, so he’ll turn everything into one.
let him win.
-> his hands are really sensitive because of his quirk, so if you kissed them he’d turn to mush.
im literally begging you to touch this man. help him. he is so touch-starved it’s not funny.
-> he runs hot so cuddles w him are so nice and comforting :(. will pull you in close and tight and NEVER let go.
in short, while dating katsuki definitely comes with it’s quirks, it’s a beautiful relationship. he respects you endlessly and will do anything to ensure your happiness. treat him right and he’ll do the same!!
have fun dating explosion boy!
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capriciouswriter207 · 2 years
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hello! i was mindlessly scrolling through the wither au tag on my way to falling asleep when suddenly i had a Thought which basically mugged me.
Y'see, i was thinking abt how fWhip is presumably being brainwashed/mind-wiped by Xornoth rn, and how Gem could probably at least somewhat fix it by using a memory spell similar to (albeit significantly stronger than) the one she used on her brothers when she got herself captured. however, that thought itself lead me to a different question:
gem and the others were raised to be soldiers, who would lay down their lives over and over for Exor's cause, and we've already seen that xornoth only cares abt their wellbeing and development as long as it's beneficial to him. the only time i can think of where gem in particular wasn't using her powers to "attack" in some sense was when she was restoring fwhip and sausage's memories. does gem even know anything abt the more "positive" side of magic, or does she only know abt the magic she uses to injure and destroy? bc i can imagine 2 very fun scenarios based off of that: xornoth telling gem that her magic (and therefore she by extension) can only ever be used for destruction, and gem in the overgrown/crystal cliffs looking around at all the magic bringing beauty and life and growth, things that she was never able to notice when she was causing mayhem and murder
sorry for the long post, it is late and i tend to be a bit rambly at the best of times! if the name isn't already taken, then i'd like to sign off as berry anon!
Hi! Berry anon hasn’t been claimed yet, so welcome to the blog! Continuing the trend of nature-based anons, I see...
Xornoth would indeed have only wanted Gem to focus on the destructive side of magic. And she’s pretty good at it, too. Especially in the Nether, she wholeheartedly believes magic can and should only be used for destructive purposes because that’s all she knows. And she was okay with being a harbinger of destruction because that’s their purpose, isn’t it? Destroying the Overworld and bringing back Exor?
And then she gets to the Overworld, she decides she’s gotta do this thing on her own and is locked up in Rivendell for two months. And Pearl comes in and Jimmy comes in and they talk about magic like it’s… not solely used for destruction? And that’s weird because magic’s not supposed to do that? But it does, and it’s very strange that magic can be used for things that aren’t destructive in nature.
And eventually, she’ll just walk around freely in the world and she’ll know on how much magic is used for good instead of evil, and somehow she’ll feel like she’s missed out on so much that she’s unsure to handle. Because of her upbringing, she may not even think that she’s capable of using magic or learning to use it for good, because her magic is destructive.
(previous | masterpost | next)
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tex-treasures · 2 years
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hiya tex !! thank u fr giving me the opportunity to gush abt hartley i appreciate it so much, & i wanted to do the same fr u !!! i haven't seen arcane yet (but im meaning to) so tell me abt jayce!! whats he like what drew u to him and (if u know yet) what drew him to you?
AHHHHH howdy Theo!!! It was my pleasure, Royal!!!!! Hartley seems so dadgum fun and you deserve that! I'm excited to learn more about your s/i paired with him so please tag me if you talk about them in the future!!!!!✨♥️
Ahhhhh stars that's very sweet of you to extend the invitation to me, thank you so much ✨😭!!!!!!
Jayce is a funky little mountain of a man (he's like 6'1" it's not fair) scientist/inventor made important city Councilor! This is what he looks like:
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*Froths at the mouth bc he's so pretty* I HC him to be mixed race White x Latinx like me and NGL it brings me hella serotonin :')✨💚
His personality in the show is that of a sweet, excitable puppy who means well, wants to make the world a better place, and would do anything for his friends but funnily enough with some research into the game he's from, the game says he's actually arrogant/a jerk, has little patience for other people in his field, is generally just mean and is a loner LMAO
I decided for myself that in my canon he's a bit of both because I like em playful and mean sometimes. He's definitely arrogant and full of himself since he's so smart and top of his field but also surprisingly considerate and loyal to those who have earned it (although call him out for his consideration and he gets offended). He just wants special attention/ to be appreciated for his genius and his feelings. (Very Moriarty adjacent but not a villain)
What first drew me to him was, as sappy as it sounds, the way he treats his Mama. He loves her so, so much and frankly so do I she's wonderful her name is Ximena and I'm not immune to Mama's Boys lol. His obvious desire to do good in the world also drew me in, as did his genuine regard for those close to him. He's extremely passionate even if he can come across as insensitive- he just feels he knows what's right.
I think what drew Jayce in was the fact my s/i Rosalia wants to, like him, make life better for everyone. Rosalia uses xyr psychosocial research to provide help to the Council so that the two main cities in which the story takes place can ultimately get along better (one is very poor compared to the other and she avidly is for helping the people via volunteer work). Like Jayce, she also comes from a single parent home and not to get too cultural but I like to think about them sharing the same struggle of growing up mixed and trying to find where exactly they fit in and how they choose to identify with their culture.
Ahhhhh thank you so much for inviting me to talk about him ✨😭!!!!! I need to make a proper S/I post too at some point- I'm very excited about xem and just gotta get it all organized and written down all nice and pretty dkfkfkf
Again, thank you so much!!! I'm excited to hear more about Hartley from you and I hope you have a fantastic rest of your day/night, thank you so much buddy!!!!✨♥️
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slowly-writing · 4 years
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Break a Leg
Wanda Maximoff x Reader
Word count: 1.2K
Part two
Requested by anon: Hey could I request a Wanda maximoff dating a famous actress x fem reader who's her girlfriend for three years and Wanda watches her movies and shows and absolutely loves it even tho at first she didn't get her love for acting but now she does as she sees how happy you are with it? And maybe y/n is in an interview and the entire avengers are watching and they ask abt Wanda and what's it like being her girlfriend and if she misses her when she's on missions and y/n is flustered a lot,just fluff!
“Tony did what?” you’re gasping for breath, trying to contain your laughter as Wanda tells you about her day.
“He lit his sleeve on fire. He didn’t even notice until one of his robots was spraying him with a fire extinguisher.” You’re wiping tears from your eyes as someone knocks on the door, entering before you can respond.
“Miss y/l/n, we’re ready for you in makeup,” a young guy with a clipboard tells you and you nod.
“I’ll be there in a minute,” you wait for him to leave before picking up your phone from the couch next to you and taking it off speaker. “Alright my love, I gotta go.”
“Noooooo, I don’t want you to go yet,” Wanda whines and you can’t help but share her feelings.
“I know. I miss you too, but I just have a few more interviews to finish up and then I’m flying home tomorrow night,” you promise and she sighs.
“Fine. I really can’t wait until you come home. The team is having a viewing party for your interview tonight,” you laugh at the thought of the avengers taking time out of their day to watch you talk about a movie they’ve all heard you talking about since you auditioned.
“Way to make me nervous,” she laughs and you can almost hear her eye roll through the phone. “Okay, I really have to go now. I love you so much, I’ll call you in the morning.”
“I love you too. Break a leg tonight.”
xxxxx
“For my next guest I have two time Oscar nominee and leading lady of the upcoming movie, Phantom Zone. Please welcome, y/n y/l/n!” you hear the crowd applauding and you take a deep breath before walking out onto the stage. The lights are bright and the only thing going through your head as you wave to the audience is “Please don’t trip. Please don’t trip. Please don’t trip.” You really don’t need to take Wanda’s wish of good luck literally and end up on crutches. Luckily you make it across the floor in one piece and greet the host before sitting down.
“So y/n, you’ve come a long way for such a young actress. Why don’t you tell us a bit about your new movie,” the host starts and you go back and forth with the normal questions. With this being the second to last day of your press tour you’ve lost count of how many interviews you’ve had. You could answer these questions in your sleep, so you go through the motions until the host throws you for a loop with a more personal question.
“So y/n, you’ve been seen spending quite a bit of time in New York with a certain witch. Care to comment on that?” the host asks and you chuckle. You can feel your cheeks heating up and the knowledge that your face is bright red on live television only makes you blush more.
“What do you want to know?” you shoot back and he laughs, glad that you didn’t refuse to answer.
“Why don’t we start with how you two met,” he suggests and you nod. You’ve never commented much on your relationship but after three years you and Wanda decided you’re alright with the world knowing a bit more about you.
“It was a bit over three years ago now, I was staying in New York between filming seasons of Walking Dead. I was in central park enjoying the weather and Wanda just walked right up to me, I freaked out a bit. I was meeting my favorite superhero, it was quite a shock. She had no idea who I was at that time which was a nice change of pace. She was beyond lost so I helped her find her way out of the park and the rest is history.”
“She didn’t know who you were? You’re kidding, right?” he asks and you laugh with him before responding.
“Trust me, I was a little shocked too. I try to stay humble, but I was also a cocky nineteen year old. It was a week before the Oscars and I was nominated for best supporting actress. I thought everyone knew who I was. Don’t tell her I told you this, but her having never heard of any of my movies was probably a really good ego check for me,” you lean in as if it's a secret and he pretends to zip his lips.
“Your secret is safe with me. Though if she’s watching this, I am not responsible.”
“Oh she definitely is. I talked to her earlier, they’re having a viewing party at the Avenger’s compound,” you say and his eyes widen.
“The avengers are watching my show,” you can’t tell if his shock is real or not, so you try to hold back your laughter as you nod. “Does that not intimidate you even a little?”
“I mean no, not really. Trust me, when Wanda introduced me to the team I thought I was gonna pass out, but after you’ve seen them scream at each other over a 2am monopoly game in their pajamas the intimidation wears off,” you say with a smile.
“That would definitely make them seem less scary. Has Wanda seen your movies now?” he asks and you groan.
“Yes. She made me watch them all with her. Don’t get me wrong, I love the stuff I was in. If I wasn’t in them I’d probably binge them on repeat, but something about sitting in a living room watching yourself on a screen is just awkward. I love premiers even watching it in theaters can be fun, but I don’t enjoy watching them alone. That one scene in walking dead made her cry though. I was pretty proud of that acting, plus the zombie makeup was fun,” you’re referring to when your character was killed off a few seasons back. The fact that you were able to make her cry over “your” death while sitting right next to her was pretty cool. “She goes to all the premieres and viewing parties with me now, so she sees it all.”
“I can see how that could be uncomfortable, but I’m glad you made it through. Now you better not break her heart, that team of her’s will come after you,” he says and you roll your eyes.
“Oh please, I would never. I’m gonna marry that girl one day,” you say and the audience  let’s out a collective “awwwwww.”
“On that note we are unfortunately out of time. Thank you so much for being here tonight, Phantom Zone is in theaters October 18th!” The host calls. You wave at the camera until a crew member yells clear, then you say goodbye to the host and make your way back to your dressing room. Little do you know as that’s happening Wanda is sitting on the couch back in New York, cheeks bright red and a smile on her face. At your final words she makes a decision. It’s time for the ring in her nightstand to leave the drawer and go onto your finger.
tag list: @rvgrsbrns @rororo06 @prizmix-and-friends @worlds-in-words @im-salt-but-not-salty @5aftermidnight @riotmaximoff
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asterekmess · 4 years
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(I was gonna save this for tomorrow, but FUCK IT) Eyyy, still being salty over here. Pls block the tag ‘rant’ if you don’t wanna see anymore of these. Or maybe ‘anti-scott mccall’ though, tbh, I’m not sure how much fun it would be to follow me if you aren’t anti-scott mccall. I’m pretty vocal abt disliking him.
ANYWAY.
I wanna talk about the concept of Derek being a ‘creeper’ because of all his wandering around the lacrosse field, at lydia’s party, etc. And by talk about, I mean ramble about incoherently. By which I mean, please know that I’m not trying to insult or fight anybody who makes this joke or uses this concept in fic or whatever. I’m just ranting bc I love this boy and his trauma makes me sad.
ANYWAY. (This is insanely long, so I’m adding a “Read More”)
I just have a lot of feelings about people seeing Derek as a stalker/creeper because he keeps showing up at lacrosse practice and in Scott & Stiles’ rooms, etc. It gets mentioned in loads of fics (I see a lot of “Creeperwolf” which I think is supposed to be an endearment?) (And there’s lots of fics that talk about how ‘you used to be/are really creepy, following us around’ Again, not judging) (Dude it’s even a whole tag on AO3 ‘Creeper Derek Hale’) and it’s joked about a lot in fandom (the vine with the ‘every step you take’ song and the swans on the building comes to mind). I see it a lot, and dude, it hurts me.
Let’s look at Derek’s current mental state and what he’s been dealing with, going all the way back to Paige. (Or, tbh, his birth) Derek is a werewolf. He was born a werewolf, to a family of werewolves. He grew up within the supernatural world, in a whole different culture to humans (honestly, my fury at the lack of werewolf culture/history/worldbuilding is worthy of its own post. Let me know if by some ungodly chance, you actually wanna hear my thoughts on it.) and presumably the number one rule in all of werewolfdom is “Keep the Secret.” Now, Derek’s fuckin’ 14/15 (I put his birthday on Christmas, like most of fandom, and if his house burned down when he was 16, in the spring, and he was dating Kate for a while before, he would’ve dated her when he was 15, and we don’t know how long there was between paige and kate, but let’s give him a summer of mourning. So. 14ish with paige) and he starts dating this human. He’s kinda shit at keeping the secret, implying that either he’s only dated werewolves before, or she’s his first girlfriend ever (also implying that maybe some of the people on his basketball team are werewolves, bc they don’t seem to notice his weird way of talking [pack members maybe? fuck, my heart]) and he’s maybe not as careful as he should be. (More implications arise, and we begin to build our own history. If Derek was never taught not to say dumb shit like ‘i caught a scent’ then was he even in public school before freshman year? Were the Hales all homeschooled before high school to help keep the secret? How soon do wolfy abilites arise? Do they hit with puberty? Fuck, I digress.) He says some dumb shit, and Paige gets suspicious. Of course, he doesn’t know that, and he has some kind of meltdown about her eventually finding out his secret. We hear from Peter (who’s villainized, so we’re not supposed to necessarily believe what he says, but what we see in the flashback doesn’t make a huge amount of sense either so *shrug*) that he enlists Ennis to bite Paige, believing that if she is bitten she won’t spill the secret and she’ll be more inclined to accept that Derek is a werewolf. Now, she fucking dies. Paige dies in Derek’s arms because of this, and he finds out at the last second that she already knew the secret. He feels guilty enough abt getting her killed but now he’s got a whole new batch of guilt from finding out that apparently he’s so bad at keeping the secret of his ENTIRE SPECIES that she found out he was a werewolf. She could’ve exposed them all at any time. He had to be terrified. Next, he’s 15/16 and he meets a gorgeous older woman who presumably showers him in affection, and all the horrors that go with that whole situation (I don’t wanna go into detail, because obviously). But again, whether Derek tells her himself or she just knew or she finds out, whatever it is, Kate knows Derek and his family are werewolves. AND SHE KILLS THEM ALL. Derek has no clue what the fuck is going on. All he knows is he is the only link between Kate and his family, which must mean that it’s his fault she knows about them. Once again, he’s revealed the Big Secret and people Died. He and Laura bolt to NY for six years, where presumably they live in hiding thinking the Argents are coming after them to finish off the Hales. Then Laura gets sent a funky letter and goes back to Beacon Hills. Now, we have a lil more confusion (i’ve got a whole buttload of issues with the timeline, but let’s not get into that now) because he says he came looking for Laura, but later he mentions that he knew she was in Beacon Hills and was searching for...whoever burnt down their house...that whole plotline confuses the shit out of me (derek knew kate did it. he blamed All the argents, but he knew kate was involved. So why was Laura looking for the pendant. and if he didn’t tell her then why was he looking for the pendant?? And what did the pendant have to do with the deer and the spiral?? Halp.) but whatever. He shows up and finds his sister dead, the hunters arrive in town the next day, and suddenly there’s an angry alpha Attacking Humans.
We’re finally in the present. Derek has lost what little family he had left, except for a catatonic uncle. He already has two instances in his past where the worry of keeping werewolves a secret has caused deaths. And now there’s this teenager. No, actually, two teenagers. One who was bitten, and one who shouts out “You’re a werewolf!” in the middle of the preserve, instantly figuring out a centuries-old supernatural secret. Derek is fucking terrified, and things are only getting worse. This kid who got bitten? Derek follows him to see if he’s really a wolf, to find out if he knows what’s happening to him, if he believes the other teen. He finds the kid JUMPING OVER PEOPLE’S HEADS in broad daylight in front of everyone. Derek might’ve had a couple verbal giveaways but this is just ridiculous. Then, even better, the kid goes on a date on the FULL MOON with THE YOUNGEST ARGENT. There’s about a billion reasons to follow Scott to the party. It’s a FULL MOON, for one. HE’S WITH AN ARGENT for another. And of course he can’t just walk into the party. He’s fucking 22 for fuck’s sake. This is a high school party. He’d get arrested. And of course he doesn’t introduce himself to Scott beforehand. He has no way of knowing if this kid is on the Alpha’s side. He’s the Alpha’s Beta, it would make perfect sense for him to be obeying the Alpha. OR since he’s with the Argent, maybe he’s working with them. Maybe he’s a plant of some kind. a hunter pet. Laura was used as bait to catch Derek, why not Scott too? But he sees quickly that Allison has no clue what’s going on, at least with Scott, and he takes her home and steals her jacket to lure Scott into the Preserve where he can’t hurt anyone. Then, when he sees Scott get chased by the hunters, with no Alpha coming running to protect him, he decides “Alright, guess this kid’s my ally. Gotta protect him.” Yeah. He says some weird shit. But the evidence points to Derek not knowing much about bitten wolves. He tells Scott that he doesn’t know how to train a bitten wolf, but he does know how to help Scott recover memories (the memory loss appears to only happen in the early days of shifting, which lends more credibility to the possibility that born wolves don’t start shifting properly until later in life [puberty being the most likely milestone] and he therefore has experience with that, but not with the kind of control Scott needs, that he’s known his whole life). Born a werewolf, he’s never considered the bite anything other than a gift. He also just lost his entire family, so sue him for trying to find some kind of connection between them. (It honestly makes total sense for him to use the term ‘brothers’ bc he KNOWs Scott won’t understand the concept of ‘pack’ yet) So, now that’s decided to help Scott, to protect him, he goes back to the school. SURELY now that Scott knows what he is and how dangerous he is when stressed, he’ll reign himself in during lacrosse, or even just back out of it altogether. There are lives at stake here, be them human, or if Scott exposes the secret, werewolves. SURELY this kid wouldn’t put everyone in danger over a fucking game. But no. Not only does he keep flaunting his abilities, but he SHIFTS ON THE FIELD. If Stiles hadn’t Dragged Scott out of there, the entire supernatural world would be EXPOSED by this ONE KID. Derek passed Terrified about a hundred miles back. He’s gotta be fucking out of his mind with fear. I don’t blame him even a little for threatening Scott. If Scott’s not gonna do the right thing on his own, then threatening him is worth it if people don’t DIE. Then, bc Scott’s a pissy baby and goes to shout at him and be a fuckwad, and Stiles is nosey and neither of them have boundaries (I love Stiles, but fucking seriously, digging up a grave?) Derek gets ARRESTED. He pleads with this lanky teen who is brave enough to climb into the cruiser with a WEREWOLF. Who’s FRiends with a Werewolf. Who figured it out so quickly. He pleads with him to understand how dangerous this is, to stop his friend. And Stiles looks like he’s gonna, but Scott bolts bc of the wolfsbane (Which...listen if I’m being really salty, a deep bitter part of me genuinely wonders if he was that freaked out, or if he overheard Derek beg Stiles not to let Scott play, and Scott ran away from Stiles so he wouldn’t get told no, bc he wanted to play.) and by the time Stiles finds him he’s already dressed for the game. And DEREK WAS RIGHT. Scott DID lose control. He DID shift on the field. At LEAST one human saw him shift, and the coach for the other team knew something was up too. He DID expose them, and he did it further bc Jackson is suspicious now. Now, I’ve reblogged a gifset of it before, the moment when Derek shows up at the lacrosse field and finds Jackson standing in it after Scott’s run off, staring at a glove with a claw hole in it. He is watching his worst nightmare come true. Scott has exposed them and Jackson is going to figure out werewolves, just like Stiles did. He knows right that instant that people are going to die. I’ll reiterate what I said in the tags on that gifset. It’s extremely likely that Derek bit Jackson out of self-preservation. Jackson had been threatening to tell the hunters and the entire world if he didn’t get what he wanted. The safest thing to do was give Jackson the bite so that at least he would be putting himself in danger too if he exposed werewolves. He forced Jackson to have to keep the secret for himself because he knew Jackson wouldn’t do it for anyone else. (And he knew Jackson had some self-preservation, compared to Scott, and wouldn’t want to expose himself.)
Listen, I just. I just get so sad watching Derek sneaking into people’s rooms and standing on the edge of the field and showing up in the locker rooms. He’s trying to help. He’s trying to protect. He wants to be there in case Scott does something stupid (which he does, again and Again) to protect him, even after Scott REFUSED to help him stop a SERIAL KILLER because there wasn’t anything in it for him. Even after Scott fucking blackmails him by leaving him hanging on a grate with wires plugged into his side and his abuser on their way back to hurt him, he still helps him protect Allison (who watched him be tortured and did nothing. [He still has the capacity to acknowledge that it’s not her fault. That she couldn’t save him. He doesn’t blame her for it and he certainly doesn’t want her to die.]) He wants to keep his Betas safe. He stands in the parking lot waiting for them to test Lydia because he doesn’t want them to have to go through with killing her alone (and he only tries to kill her because she DOESN’T pass the test [although I admit it’s a dumb test] and because the kanima is KILLING people. More people have died and I don’t know how the fuck Derek manages to keep standing, let alone having such capacity for empathy and optimism and sarcasm after everything he’s dealt with. He’s constantly being hunted by hunters or humans, or fuck even Scott himself, since every time Scott gets upset he blames Derek for everything (I’m still fucking disgusted that he turned up at Derek’s place and accused him of murdering his own sister.) And STILL he shows up. No matter how many times he’s shoved away and ignored and yelled at. He shows up and he stands on the fringes and he waits for the chance to help.
And what’s creepy about that?
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bxthharmon · 4 years
Text
Never Go Home Again, Pt. VIII || JJ Maybank x Reader
Words: 4102 (jeez, making up for a short last episode??)
Series Warnings: violence / talking about abuse / toxic relationships / talking about nudes sex tapes and sex tapes / drugs / underage drinking
Pt. Warnings: Breaking and entering? / underage drinking
Series Summary: A new girl, a shoebox of old memories, a past she’s trying to forget coincide with a hotheaded, but selfless, boy.  teenagers getting in way over their heads
Pt. Summary: Midsummers takes place as the pogues make headway in the hunt, Y/N struggles with her two friends’ enmity.
A/N: okay so longgg chapter. hope it’s not too bad, and i only hv one chapter left in my drafts so im gonna have to start writing instead of just editing... hopefully updates will stay just as frequent tho. lemme know abt tags and feedback, and pleaseeeeeee send requests!!! lockdowns giving way too much time.
Chapters linked in my masterlist.
“masterlist”
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You borrowed your dad’s car, and dressed in the simplistic, elegant dress intended for your prom back in LA, you arrived at the party. 
You found yourself surrounded in summery cocktail dresses and flower crowns, tuxedos that ranged from elegant dark blue to pastel pinks, a couple of floral patterns spicing up the mix. Soft lights hung loosely over the patio, lights hardly noticeable in the soft, bright hue of the evening, the sun yet to fall into the glittering sea stretched out from the view in the hotel. You worked your way through the silks, chiffons and satins. Drinks were pushed into your hand, tapas offered and awkward smiles shared. By the time you found Kie, you were armed with a glass of champagne and the feeling of not belonging. She laughed at your already exhausted smile, and had dragged you to find Pope. Once you were with Kie, it took twice as long to get anywhere, because everyone seemed to stop her and ask about her parents, the restaurant, or to offer criticism on her choice of friends, giving you side-eye. You were the one who spotted Pope, pointing him out and letting her drag you over to him.
“Excuse me, sir,” Kie mocked a British accent, “do we have to shuck these ourselves? ‘Cause it might mess up my costume.” 
You all laughed, hugging him in greeting. “We wouldn’t want that now, would we?” Pope returned the joke, doing your pogue handshake.
“That accent was bad.” You shook your head.
“Yeah, it was. I was gonna let it go.” She laughed, “Y/N’s is way better.”
“Oh stop it!” you joked, in your British accent, pretending to blush, “You’re making me blush.”
“You ever seen this many kooks in one place?” Kie asked.
“Yeah, last year.” Pope grinned.
“We’re in the lion’s den.” You sighed. “Hey, have either of you heard from JJ?”
They looked at you sympathetically, shaking their heads.
“He’ll be alright.” Kie soothed. “He’s got the survival instincts of a cockroach.” 
“In the month I’ve known him, this is the longest I’ve gone without hearing from him.” You sighed, and Pope looked down guiltily.
“This is my fault.” 
“You didn’t do this, Pope.” you assured him, “Topper almost killed you, remember? JJ chose to, you know him, always putting others first. You can’t carry the blame, that’s not fair on you.”
You turned to the noise of an applaud, seeing Sarah and her family entering. You held back a snigger at the sight of Rose’s crown, but smiled at Sarah, who smiled back.
“Here come Lord Capital and the exploiters.” Kie sighed.
“She’s definitely gonna poke someone’s eye out with that.” Pope commented, and you looked back at Rose’s headdress, this time unable to contain the giggle.
You chatted for a while longer, finishing the lavish champagne and wanting to have some fun. You had practically dragged Kie to the dance floor, making her dance with you as a steady flow of drinks passed both your systems. Eventually, she was summoned to talk with her parents, leaving you alone on the dance floor. Before long, you found yourself dancing with Sarah, spinning her round, and exaggerating the both of your moves, mocking the way the adults were dancing. You went to get a drink after a few songs, and walked straight into JJ.
He was just as surprised as you, but you reacted quickly, pulling him down into a soft kiss by his collar. You looked over your shoulder, blushing at the sight of Pope and Kie clapping and giving you thumbs up. You turned your attention to him, tracing your thumb over his split lip and the bruises on the left side of his face. The dark cut contrasted the pink of his lips, and the bruises looked a painful, mottled purple that spread over his jaw and up to his cheek bone.
“JJ,” you murmured, “Did your dad do this?” 
“My dad, got a nice right jab, ya know?” he tried to joke, seeing the worry in your eyes. The light he hoped would return to your eyes stayed gone, as anger took over your features.
“JJ, I’m gonna fucking kill him.” you seethed, “He had no fucking-”
“Y/N,” he said, cupping your face, “leave it, okay? It’s nothing that hasn’t happened before.”
“JJ that’s not making me feel any bet-”
He kissed you again, taking you off guard, and you smiled softly when he pulled away. “I gotta go,” he mumbled, “I’ll see you in a bit, I promise, babygirl.”
You nodded dumbly as he walked away, turning back to Sarah, and seeing her wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at you. You rolled your eyes at her, making an excuse to leave, and walked over to Kie, who started pestering you for details, which you supplied. Your discussion with Kie was cut short by the sight of JJ being hauled out of the house and into the garden.
“Hey, Mr Dunleavy, I see you got your drink. Good, that’s really nice of you. I’m actually gonna down that.” he took the drink, and, well, downed it. “It’s okay everybody!” he yelled, “Do not panic. Leave it to the men and women in uniform! Let’s hear it for them!” he shouted, making you and Kie smirk, trying to hide your giggles. “Rose! You look like lady liberty. Good to see you again. Hey, buddy, can I have one of those?”
“Let go of him!” You called, working your way towards him.
“You can’t just boot him!” Kie backed you, ignoring the warning looks you were both getting from her parents. He looked up at you, a tiny smile on his face. “I invited him here! I’m a member of this club.” she continued through her parent’s protests. JJ turned and pushed the guard into the crowd, stumbling in the opposite direction.
“Sorry about that! Hey,” he pointed at you and Kie, “mandatory power hour at Rixon’s, Kie, Y/N. Pope, you as well, alright? Rixon’s cove, let’s roll! A’ight Y/N, come on!” You grinned, he turned to Kie, “Workers of the world unite, throw off your chains!”
Kie and Pope ran ahead, both hugging John B, and you ran straight into JJ’s arms, letting him swing you around and kiss you, for once, not caring that everyone was staring.
--
“Hey, guys, so like, my dad’s already gonna kill me.” Pope said as you all settled around the campfire. “So what’s this mandatory meeting about?”
John B shot finger guns to JJ, who looked up, “Might as well tell him, man, before we’re all gaffed.”
“You ready for this? John B replied.
You and Kie looked at each other, “Yeah.” you said, in unison.
“So, the gold never went down with the Royal Merchant.” John B started.
“Here we go again.” You muttered, settling into JJ’s side.
“No, alright? Wait. Hear him out, alright?” JJ backed John B, and you frowned, shrugging and gesturing for him to continue.
“It’s been here the whole time. It’s on the island.”
“Are you serious?” Kie asked. “Oh my God.”
“I’d like to voice my skepticism.” Pope spoke.
“I’m sure you would, Pope, but can I please present you with my evidence, Sir?”
“Proceed.” Pope mocked.
“Alright, so, in my backpack, I have a letter from Denmark Tanny.” 
“Who the fuck’s that?” You questioned.
“Denmark Tanny was a slave who survived the Royal merchant wreck. Check this out.” he handed Kie some paper, “So slaves weren’t mentioned as crew members on the ship, but my dad, he found the complete manifest. That was his big discovery. So Tanny used the gold from the Merchant to buy his freedom.” Kie passed you the paper. “After that, he bought his farm. Drumroll please,” you drumrolled on your thighs, “because that farm is… Tannyhill Plantation.”
“Tannyhill?” Kie affirmed. You passed Pope the paper.
“Yeah.” John B continued, “so after that, he used his money to free even more slaves. And then he sold a shit ton of rice, which pisses off all the white planters, and then they decide to lynch him. So on the day they were coming to get him, he writes a letter to his son as a farewell, and in the last line of that letter, he leaves a coded message about where to find the gold.”
“Where?” You whisper excitedly.
“Harvest the wheat, in parcel nine, near the water. Except, there’s no wheat. You see, wheat is code for gold. Check this out.” he shows you another piece of paper, and a map. “The gold is in parcel nine, near the water.” you and Kie squeal, laughing excitedly, “All we need is an original survey map of the property, and we’ve found the gold!”
“Okay, so, this might have a small chance of actually being true.” Pope said, and JJ got up from beside you.
“Dude,” you laughed, “this is like, King Tut!” 
JJ pulled John B into a hug, lifting him up. “Hello, fire! You’re near the fire. You’re gonna burn.” John B warned, and JJ put him down. “I’m so proud of you right now.”
“Thank you.”
“That’s really sweet of you.” JJ looked at you, “And jeez, Y/N, what is it with you and Tutankhamun?”
“4th Grade history?” You guessed.
“Okay, so, guys,” Pope brought the attention back. “What’s the plan?”
“Good question.” John B agreed.
“How long does this go on for?” you moaned, “Wrap it up, JB.”
“Sarah Cameron’s coming tonight.” he simplified. “And she’ll bring the original survey.”
“Hold on.” Kie stopped him, “Sarah? Wh-why Sarah?”
“This is gonna be good.” JJ muttered, and you raised your eyebrows at him.
“Sarah, um, she - she helped me into the archives at Chapel Hill yesterday, and that’s where I got the letter.”
“You were in Chapel Hill with Sarah Cameron?” Kie frowned, anger contorting her features.
“Are you guys macking?” you asked, a disbelieving smirk on your lips.
“He was mackin’ on her.” JJ confirmed, interrupting John B’s pitiful attempts at an explanation, and earning him a giggle from you.
“For real?” you asked John B.
“I wasn’t macking.” John B defended.
“You were totally macking Sarah Cameron.” JJ repeated.
“I wasn’t macking on her, okay? I was using her for access.”
“There was access, alright.” JJ mumbled, earning another giggle.
“Okay,” you piped up, “JB you should have consulted first, Kie, she obviously did something shitty, but JB, using her is pure shitty, so you better just be covering for yourself right now.”
He looked at you defeated, and you groaned. “Did you tell her about the treasure?” Kie asked.
“I was just trying to get into the archives!”
“Is that a yes?”
“I left out key details!”
“Yo, what? You let a kook in on our secret? What about Pogue Lyfe? What about the t-shirt company, bro?”
“I was just using her for information.”
“Why don’t I believe you?”
“I’m tryna make us filthy rich here! Okay, so that we can pay off a boat, or - or, uh, send you to autopsy school to study dead bodies! Look, you guys know me! Do I look like the kind of person who would fall for Sarah Cameron?”
You and JJ made eye contact, “well..” you started.
“Um.” he chuckled.
“Do you want us to answer that, or-”
“Just - just stop.” John B looked at the pair of you, defeated.
“Look, you don’t know her yet, I do! You can’t trust her!”
“Her brother did hit me in the back with a golf club.” Pope pointed out.
“Rafe and Sarah are different human beings.” John B countered.
“What did she do to you, exactly?” you asked Kie, wandering how she could hate your friend so much.
“She’s like a - a spitting cobra. First she - first she blinds you and then she-”
“This is a bad analogy.” you mumbled.
“Listen to me!” Kie demanded, “Whatever we get, she’s gonna try to take.”
--
You and JJ were lying on your bed, not having bothered to get changed before getting under the covers. You interlocked your fingers with his, snuggling closer, your eyes barely open. “What do you think Sarah did?”
JJ turned his head to look at you, he could tell it was tearing you up. “I… don’t know.” JJ sighed, defeated. “I’ve known Kie for years, and she’s never talked about it.”
“Sarah was super kind to me, I don’t understand why Kie is so against her. It’s so shitty, ‘cause they’re both my friends, and I want them to get on, but they obviously won’t.”
“They might?” JJ muttered, thinking.
“C’mon, Jay, you know it’s impossible. And I don’t even know what happened between them, so I can’t fix it.” 
“You know it’s not up to you to fix it, right?”
“So why do I feel like I have to?”
“Because you’re an empathetic, kind, brilliant person?”
“Jay,” you groaned, as he kissed you, “Be serious!”
“I am.” he mumbled, kissing you again.
“You’re infuriating,” you giggled, “you know that?”
“It’s all part of my brand.”
“Your brand?”
“Oh yeah, super-hot surfer pogue, insanely funny, get’s the best weed on the island, you know, the usual.”
“You’re full of shit.”
“Hey! At least I have a brand!”
“Is that a comment aimed at me?” you mocked offence.
“I mean, your brand is ‘mysterious new girl’.”
“You think I’m mysterious?”
“I mean, yeah, none of us know, like, why you moved or anything about you.”
Your heart twinged, but you covered for yourself, mocking him, “It’s all part of my brand.”
--
“I’m sorry, you’re staying where?” Kie passed John B to get to the bar, the group having gathered in the Wreck.
“Tannyhill.” John B repeated, and you shook your head, disbelieving.
“So you’re living with Sarah Cameron?”
“Okay, look, the only reason I’m living there is because her dad bailed me out, right?”
“I still can’t believe you got pushed off that wooden frame thing.” You muttered, and he smirked, fighting down a laugh as you and Kie went to the group’s table.
“And it’s way better than foster care,” he continued, “which, by the way, where I was about to go if Ward didn’t-”
“Hey, so do you have membership to the clubs now?” Pope asked.
“I don’t know, Pope.”
“What about those little golf carts that they drive around?” JJ added, “You get one of them?”
“Does it come with a sweater-vest, or do you have to buy one of those on your own?” You add.
“Look, you promised.” Kie brought the focus back, like always. “You said you weren’t with her.”
“Bro, just own it.” JJ backed, “She got you.”
“Look if you wanna hang out with her, that’s fine.” Kie sighed, “I mean, Y/N sometimes hangs out with her. But I’m letting you know right now that I’m not doing anything with Sarah.”
“Do you guys see her here?” John B pointed out, “No, right. Okay. A little focus would be fantastic. We’ve got the map, right?”
“It’s all out of whack ‘cause the guy was ganja’d when he drew it.” JJ commented.
“No,” you corrected, “the coastline changed, dummy.”
“So we just have to look for landmarks that haven’t changed.” Pope clarified.
“What about the old forts?” John B suggested.
“You know, the more you guys talk, the more I realise that I know nothing about this island.” You observed, treasuring the feeling of JJ running a hand through your hair.
“Battery Jasper.” Kie pointed.
“Let’s go.” you  stood up, leading the group out to the VW.
John B drove, none of you really paying attention until you reached the landmark.
The five of you looked out over the island, expansive green leading to expansive blue, you were at a high point. “We’re in battery, right here.” Pope points on the map. “So if this is parcel nine, then it’s somewhere northeast of here.”
“Somewhere over there.” Kie points, and you take JJ’s juul off him, taking a puff, then handing it back.
“Over there?” JJ followed the point. “Guys, that’s not Tannyhill, that’s a subdivision.”
“Tannyhill Plantation used to be the entire island.” reminded John B. “It got sold into smaller pieces over time.”
Pope inspected the map again, “So we’re just looking for an old stone wall.”
You ventured back to the Twinkie, following Pope’d instructions, again. John B took a sharp left, pulling up next to an overgrown stone wall.
“That looks like a stone wall to me.” JJ said, almost proud.
“This is it.” Pope confirmed. Your car doors clattered open as you hopped out of the car.
“Not the Crain House.” John B sighed.
“Are you kidding me?” Kie repeated the sentiment.
“Worst case scenario.” JJ confirmed.
“Why’d it have to be here of all places?” Pope asked.
“Hang on a second.” You turned to your friends, your lack of apprehension standing out in the group. “It’s just a house. What’s the big deal?”
“I heard Mrs Crain buried her husband’s head on the property.” JJ told you. You all looked at him, the other’s in fear, you in skepticism.
“Well that’s bullshit.” you shrugged, taking a hold of the top of the wall and pulling yourself up, throwing your legs over and landing in the overgrown thicket. You pricked yourself in the brambles, and swore. The pogues on the other side of the wall immediately started asking if you were okay, making you giggle. “Just be careful of the brambles.”
Once they were all on the inside, you began to venture inwards. “Look, Y/N, you know whose house this is, right?”
“Some old lady’s?” you guessed, and were greeted with four unimpressed stares.
“Honestly, I don’t really believe the stories of this place.” John B joined your skepticism, but was shushed by Pope.
“Which stories did you hear?” JJ asked Kie.
“The one where she killed her husband with an axe and that she’s been holed up ever since.” said Kie, making you snort. “On certain nights, when the moon is full…”
You saw where it was going, and joined in with Kie’s mockingly spooky hand movements as she finished, “... you can see her in the window!” the pair of you giggled.
“No, girls, it’s not funny, ‘cause it’s all true.” JJ shook his head, as you and Kie made ‘Waah’ noises. “I swear to God guys, this is all real. I knew Hollis. Jeez!”
You smirked, “Yeah, jeez. Who knew you were superstitious? And who’s Hollis?”
“Wait, you knew Hollis Crain?” asked Pope.
“Who’s Hollis?” you repeated, ignored again.
“Yeah, dude.” JJ confirmed.
“Dude, how do you know Hollis Crain?”
“Dude, who is Hollis Crain?” you mocked Pope’s anxious movements.
“She was my babysitter, man. She told me all about it.” He looked around the group, “She told me the truth… about her mother and what happened in this house.”
“And what would that be?” You asked, still skeptical as you looked up to the unkempt house.
“So as a kid, she heard all the stories that her mother killed her father, and she was a murderer and all. Hollis didn’t believe it. Until that night.”
“What night?”
“It all came back to her.” JJ turned to look at the house, “When Hollis was six years old, she heard her parents arguing downstairs. So she goes downstairs to see her mom washing her hands in the sink full of blood. Her mother just says that she cut her finger. The next morning, she says her father and her split up. But then, Hollis noticed something. Her mother going into the parlour constantly, in and out and in and out with plastic bags. Weeks pass, and Hollis decides to use the outhouse. And as she’s using it, she looks down, and there, in the outhouse, is her father’s head, looking straight back at her.”
“God, you are so full of shit.” you and John B outburst in unison.
“Dude, I swear to God, man.” JJ shook his head.
“Did she call the police?” Pope asked.
“She didn’t have time.” you and John B started to walk on, only to be grabbed and pulled back by JJ.
“What?” you asked, confused. He turned to John B.
“You sure you wanna do this? She’s an axe murderer. You got a cast on.”
“I don’t give a shit if she’s an axe murderer, okay? I got nothing to lose, right? You comin’, or what?”
You follow John B through the garden, and he gathers you in a semicircle. “So here’s the plan. We need to look for the wheat near the water like it said in Denmark’s letter.”
“Okay, like, what kind of water?” asked Pope, “Like, pond water?”
JJ chuckled, “Bong water?” you slapped his arm lightly.
“It just said look for water, okay?”
“That’s the shittiest secret message ever.” Kie moved past John B.
“You wanna complain a little more, Kie? Nobody said it was gonna be easy.”
“I’ll search the northeast quadrant,” Pope started, addressing you and JJ, “you two search the northwest.”
“The decapitation quadrant?” JJ objected, and you took his arm, pulling him with you.
You scanned your area, coming up empty, then followed John B into the basement. You went in before JJ, who started singing a song about how Mrs Crain was going to kill you all.
You and Pope turned, shining your torches in his face.
“Can you stop?” You hissed, and he shut up.
You swung the torch light over the room, the broken and discarded furniture giving the room a horror-movie vibe. You’d never admit it, but you were beginning to feel creeped.
“This is the part of the movie where we get attacked by the old, half-dead blind lady.” You muttered, and JJ nodded, gesturing to you as if you had predicted the future, the others rolling their eyes.
“See any water?” Kie asked, five torches sweeping around the place. You felt a tickle on your arm and slapped, your palm coming away with the brown stain of squished insect. “Another dead end?”
JJ ran his hand on the pipes, “There’s not even water on the pipes.”
“There’s no water here.” Pope confirmed as you slapped another bug, noticing that it was a mosquito.
“Not a dropamino.” JJ continued.
“Know why we didn’t find it?” Kie piped up, “Bad karma.”
“Oh, God, here we go.” John B muttered.
“You know, we had a good thing going. And then you decide to rope in Barbie, and now the trail’s gone dry.”
“Literally,” smirked, “there’s no water.”
“Coincidence?” Kie continued as Pope and JJ sniggered, “Probably not.”
“This is exactly why I didn’t wanna tell you about Sarah.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“What the hell’s the deal? What’s going on with you two?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? Is it because I kissed you? Is that the problem?”
Your eyes widened, your mouth forming a little ‘o’ as Kiara slapped him, JJ and Pope both calling out in surprise.
“Stop treating me like I’m some girl that’s obsessed with you instead of your best friend who’s actually trying to look out for you.”
The pair of them started bickering, slapping each other, using skeeters as excuses. You slapped your leg, seeing the brown stain of a mosquito, again.
“Why the fuck are there so many mosquitoes?” you fumed, slapping yourself again.
“Dude, I know, seriously. Tiny little vampire bats, just leave me alone.” JJ added, the pair of you slapping again, and again, and again. “Oh my gosh, can we leave? ‘Cause I’m already itchin’ to leave. Haha, punny.”
You looked at Pope, who was staring at the floor, his torch shining over it. You both stomped on the ground hearing the hollow sound as JJ tried to show you ‘Mrs Crain’s voodoo doll’. You picked up a stone, dropping it through the crack in the floorboards, and hearing the ‘plop’ as it landed in water. You and Pope scrambled, pushing the loose bits of wood out of the way to lift the board, opening up the well. Pope shone his torch down.
“Well, well, well.” he joked.
“Water great discovery.” You added.
“Great dad jokes, guys.” John B sighed.
“They built this part of the house right over it.”said Kie.
“This is where she hid the bodies.” JJ nodded.
“JJ, just stop.” You shook your head.
“No, I’m dead serious.”
“Yeah, you will be, because I’m seriously considering pushing you down that well.”
“It was never an outhouse.” JJ continued.
“She probably doesn’t even know it’s here.” Kie shrugged.
“So, we found water.” Pope looked to John B.
“We’re gonna need a really big rope.”
Tags: @tangledinsparkles @jellyfishbeansontoast @lolitstiana @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @teamnick @thoughtsofthestars @obxmxybxnk @jjmaybankswife @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @sxcretinhuman @alexa-playafricabytoto @angvelics @badwolf00593 @coloradogirl07 @mendesmaybank​ @jiaraendgame
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spiralesbian · 4 years
Text
ALRIGHT
here’s my full Stranger Avatar Sasha Archivist timeline:
(also, thanks to @artbyblastweave for being so interested in my lil au!)
SEASON ONE
sasha james is hired as the head archivist of the magnus institute!
her assistants are jon, tim, and martin
tim takes the thematic role of martin (aka getting tormented by my worm wife jane, and stays in the archives)
sasha reads thru statements and is a skeptic! she really does not believe it’s real until jane comes along.
“tim……………………..did you die here?”
“no, but every time i come to work i die a little more inside.”
cute timsha moment in the supply closet tho.
until martin kool-aid-mans through the door and gets them out of there
jon used to work in artefact storage so he hides in there. he’ll be fine
i actually can’t remember how they all get out but they do it KKJSDGFJHD
sasha takes everyone’s statements. tim is fucked up, martin is also fucked up, jon is actually fine though he seems pretty normal about this whole situation most definitely.
sasha realizes this is a bit more than a regular archivist job.
SEASON TWO
sasha gets paranoid of course. she learns more about gertrude because she never got the chance to meet her
she takes a statement from a guy named michael shelley. weird dude. then helen shows up :)
jon is most definitely himself he is just a normal regular grumpy jon i swear :)
sasha starts to manifest her powers a little bit. she doesn’t know it, but she is an avatar of the stranger, and a prisoner of the eye.
she starts to notice more things about jon? similar to this comic but with jon
eventually she + tim + martin help get jon out of the grip of the NotJon. this is my au and i get to choose who dies (it’s no one because i miss the s1 archival assistants too much).
jon is pretty fucked up from this though and at like a season-3-tim mindset already.
fucking goddamn leitner avatar of the fucking whore shows up to trap the NotJon in one of his shitty fucking novels. fuck this guy tho
he’s like Sasha We Must Talk and shes like okay but stay 8 ft away from me at all times you bitch
she leaves the room for 10 minutes and pipe murder occurs. good riddance
wait are the cops in the season i genuinely can’t remember. if they are, their roles don’t change very much. melanie and sasha feud, battle of the bi queens
SEASON THREE:
uh oh! girlie’s be framed for murder! she crashes at her ex gf georgie’s flat. also the admiral is there don’t think i would EVER cut him out of this story
(also jon is georgie’s ex too because i think that would be fun JDHBFHS)
sasha learns abt an upcoming web ritual (mirroring the unknowing), all that shit. gets kidnapped a ton of times, as usual.
helen is like “i am going to kill you because i hate gertrude <3 i was that dumb bitch’s assistant for too long” but michael busts out of the door like Hi Guys and traps her in the hallway.
sasha also gives her statement about a leitner she found as a child that marked her. its a stranger book and we learn her edgy orphan origin story how her parents were both murked by the stranger. fucked up if true!
back at the archives jon is like so fucking tired of this shit honestly and now martin is also pretty paranoid. also jm romance subplot is still very present!
tim is just trying to protect sasha at all times and he’s pissed she keeps leaving the country and getting fucking kidnapped
(remember when jon persuades the traffic cop?) sasha starts to fill her archivist role in a different way. she can shapeshift into the subject of a statement and uses her affiliation with the eye to coerce statements or info out of people. (example: if she needed a live statement from the guy in #90 Body Builder, she could temporarily make herself look like jared hopworth to the guy and ask “what happened to me?” or “what did i do?” and the guy would be like well he built some fucken bodies i guess let me tell you all about it) while reading the statements in america that refuel her, she fully shapeshifts into the statement giver while reading out loud.
once again i truly can’t remember daisy + basira’s roles until the end of the season. also melanie get shot by the ghost at some point
anyways sasha gets kidnapped by trevor and julia and they gerry lays out all the shit for her and she’s like ah! i’m fucked
tim offhand mentions the web ritual to martin and he loses his shit cause he’s marked by the web blah blah this isn’t a web!martin thing i swear i just need someone to fill tim’s role in the ritual and a lonely ritual would be fucking boring as hell as we learned from ass man peter lukas. i hate that man
so they make the plan to stop the web ritual (which is fucking hard when the offense knows your every move) so sasha, basira, daisy, jon, and martin go.
tim stays back at the institute to burn shit and distract elias. elias does some fucked up shit as usual and it makes me sad
the ritual starts! they have a plan to blow it up and run but like. u know how it goes
instead of the unknowing-stranger-dream-sequence, we get everyone kinda mixed up in a huge spider’s web on the big stage and its still quite confusing because this ritual not only manipulates the prey, but also the prey’s perceived reality. the web is also in current control of the buried coffin cause they think that shit is kinda fun. they yeet daisy into it.
hard to describe what happens, but basira keeps her cool, jon is a bit lost in his own mind, sasha tries to use her powers to escape but fails. she manages to get through to martin through the strings and mounds of spiders and she tosses him the detonator.
[squishing spider noises]
SEASON FOUR:
martin doesn't die, i told you i can't kill the og archival assistants! he does lose most of one leg though, he took the blunt of the explosion.
sasha in da hospital in da coma. tim is mad he can’t wake her up and then my man ollie says “ur fucked up mate” and she wakes up
(and because coma jon has such wild hair controversy, i’m establishing that her head was shaved when she was in the coma. it grows back thru s4. it she keeps one side shaved cause she’s cool)
meanwhile tim is recruited by that dumbass man you know who i don’t even wanna say his stupid fucking name
sasha gets daisy out of the buried. they become avatar pals!
(there is the biggest blank in my memory where all of season four should be. at this point i should just relisten to the entire fucking show but i would literally just forget it all again)
melanie says hm. fuck this! and blinds herself. she goes to live with georgie (and that’s the moment jon and sasha realize they are both georgie’s exes FHFHDJD)
tim continues to fight the lonely pull. he thinks that since p*ter l*kas is tied to the institute, he can blind himself out cause melanie was successful. he is wrong. he is also interrupted by elias midway, and only blinds one eye, and loses most of his sight in the other. elias’s hold on him is weak, but this just drives him way farther into the lonely.
gotta be honest i remember the end of season four but like i couldn’t visualize what was happening at the end so i like don’t understand what happened JGDKFJGD but sasha intervenes (???) and peter yeets tim into the lonely (???) and sasha jumps in (??????) after him. elias is just there i guess?
instead of “look at me martin,” sasha finds tim and at this point her form is warped and hard to recognize because of stranger powers, and tim is almost 100% blind, so she says “don’t look at me, see me. see me tim, it’s me.” and finally creates a clear image of herself. “it’s...it’s you. you’re my sasha.”
they break free and go to scotland i guess KHSDDKDSF
idk what happens with jon and martin im losing continuity at this point. fuck it, they smooch <3
“ah these are the statements.”
“yes. basira said last week she’d send some up as soon as the archives weren’t a crime scene. and she wasn’t sure which ones you’ve read already, so she, she just said she’d send a bunch.”
“.........Hello Sasha.”
(alternate ending: personally i think sasha would read through each statement before speaking them aloud cause that’s what i would fucking do, so she would get this statement and be like “lmao tim come look at this elias trying to prank me dumb bitch think i’ll start the apocalypse for him. fucking little puny bitch boy. anyways what do you want for dinner?”)
SEASON FIVE:
“just. listen.”
“...i’m dead. and you have been chosen to be my replacement as head archivist. hopefully, this means you, jon, but if someone else is hearing this, and elias has made a different choice for some reason, then these words are still very much intended for you.”
sasha in full stranger avatar mode and is like 8ft tall and her faces shift a lot as they go through the realms. except the stranger is the second to last one (the panopticon is last obviously).
helen and michael actually talk shit out in the spiral hallway and now they are mlm wlw solidarity and both like tim and sasha are such bi and trans icons <3 this is so fun don’t you love the fearpocalypse <3
oh daisy n basira trapped in the hunt, and jon and martin are trapped in the stranger. wtgfs + the admiral are like in space or some shit idk but they are ok :)
not much to report other than she is my monster wife <3
i really don’t have many theories to how everything in s5 is gonna pan out, and i would like to closely mirror the actual show, so maybe as we get closer to the end i’ll build more on to this! thanks a lot for all the notes on my first sarchivist post!! also if u wanna make art this specific au DEF tag me in it i’d love to see!!
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thethirdwheel404 · 3 years
Text
Med Rewatch Series (#10)
S3 E10: Down By Law.
Episode Description: Dr. Manning sustains an injury while helping a drive-by victim and Dr. Rhodes finds himself in uncomfortable waters.
Connor being in ‘uncomfortable waters’? I can hear Ava bullying him already.
(also i wrote a little thing abt maggie giving ava a red bull so enjoy that little bit of content)
Let’s get into it.
-barry just yeeted natalie against a car holy shit that’s fucking hilarious
-will needs to chill the fuck out
-YESSSSS
-THIS WHERE CONNOR BRINGS THE WOMAN HE WENT OUT WITH UP FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. AND THEN AVA HARASSES HIM FOR IT.
-this is one of the most iconic ava moments. (it’s first thing that pops up under the tumblr tag)
-ava overhearing connor not knowing his date’s last name. and ava walking over, already getting ready to make fun of him. barely concealing her smile
-the confidence with which she set down the file. she was too prepared and too excited
-this could just turn into a list of ava quotes
-”It must be hard, remembering all their names.”
“You know I read Derek Jeter used to send his conquests home with a gift basket. But a full cardio work up is... It’s much classier.”
-ava bekker secret baseball fan?
-Connor: “Jeter? You a baseball fan?”
Ava: “Oh, no. It’s much too boring. But I love gossip.”
-interesting. very, interesting... is it weird to anyone else to think about ava liking gossip?
-like the idea is fun and all but i hate the idea of ava being suuuper obsessed with gossip. it makes her seem way too shallow in my book. that being said, one of my hcs about women gossiping about all the shit men do to ava bc they know she’ll call them on it now has a lot more precedence
-i know she explicitly says that baseball is boring but i can’t get the idea of ava being a secret baseball fan out of my head. its just so novel
-HER SHIT EATING GRIN
- Connor: “Well, we will get you in and out of here as quickly as possible.”
Ava: “That’s what Dr. Rhodes is renowned for around here. Quick in and outs.”
Connor: *turns to her condescendingly*
Ava: *two finger salute* “I’m Dr. Bekker, by the way.”
-the lesbian icon jumped out
-also the fact that in the previous episode Ava’s mentor did the exact same salute. idk what it means but it’s not that important
-ava trying to hide her smile when asking the woman if she wanted them to contact her husband
-ava overhearing again when latham tells connor the woman he was with was doing cocaine
-ava smirking when connor says that he thinks the heart attack was from his sex and not the cocaine
-connor thinking he’s so good at sex he’s going to give this woman a heart attack
-he really drives All the ladies wild in EveryWay (sex, suicide. he’s the whole package)
-latham asking connor point blank “did you partake in the cocaine?”
-the ct team gives connor so. much. shit. it’s so funny
-also. ava just chillin at her desk looking at scans? that’s the kind of content i want to see. just her just being there. doing her own thing. that’s what i want
-THE GUY WITH A TEENAGE WIFE IS A REVEREND HOLY SHIT
-counting down the minutes til natalie drops dead (passes out but yk a girl can dream lol)
-sarah. back at it again with her rayon jacket and button up and backpack. the coffee cup only adds to the aesthetic
-connor being surprised that latham isn’t gonna let him do surgery on the women he fucked (twice, he might add)
- whatever you do, don’t think of a brown bear. are you thinking about it?
-maggie dealing red bull to people who need it. that’s a very soft idea
- ex:
Dr. Bekker is sitting at the desk in the ED. Well, sleeping, more like it. Her head is resting on her fist, her elbow precariously close to slipping off the the chair armrest, and her eyes open by just a hair.
“Dr. Bekker.”
Ava jolts awake.
“Maggie,” Ava says, strong accent cutting through, acknowledging the person standing over her. Hastily, she adjusts her jacket and scrubs, smoothing them back into place.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this tired.”
Ava shrugs, seamlessly slipping back into easy confidence.
“Rough couple of cases. Nothing I can’t handle.”
“Uh huh,” Maggie says, unbelieving.
She sets a can of Red Bull on the desk with a knowing look.
“You need this more than anybody.”
Ava scoffs. “Those things? They are murder on your heart, come on.”
Maggie hums and walks away. Ava watches her leave, and when she’s out of sight, Ava darts forward, grabs the energy drink, immediately cracking it open and downing half of it.
- anyway.
- @punksarahreese that’s on you for making me believe ava loves energy drinks
- let’s continue
- sarah looking at charles telling her not to do something: I am not going to do a thing you said
- go off babe. it was the wrong decision but go off
- all the nurses watching this guy call nat a bitch:  👀 👀 👀 👀
- will being like: god that guy called you a bitch i fucking hate him
- and natalie being like: he is also refusing to let us treat the 14 yr olds cancer but you obviously have priorities
- sarah is so logical. she’s good at talking to people. can you FUCKING IMAGINE IF SHE HAD BETTER GUIDANCE (oh and less trauma)
- this is also the one with that hilarious screen cap of sarah holding a knife
- the way she is so calm about handing this patient a knife gives me anxiety
- THIS SCENE IS SO HARD TO WATCH IT SCARES ME SO MUCH
- sarah just in alone in a room with a man who keeps having visions of stabbing his wife. and her just handing him a fucking knife oh my god i have too much anxiety for this
- rewatching the series and getting completely confused bc norma is 5′7″ but she looks so short next to colin and the guy who plays latham
- AND RACHEL IS ALSO 5′ 7″ BUT THEY BOTH LOOK SO SHORT - WHY EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW SO TALL
- anyway. ignore that that’s not important
- I... the parallels btwn sarah offering this guy the ability to slit her throat (for therapy) and ava cutting her throat... i don’t know what to do with this information
- idk but sarah holding the knife got me feelin some type of way
- the way connor looks at ava with such contempt bc she... does her job (and his but yk) especially during the hug wtf dude honestly just stop looking at her
- this is also the episode where ava pawns off the patient’s hug onto connor. while yeah, it could ava just being annoying to connor by forcing him to hug his one night stand’s husband, but she did give connor due credit. (and something to be said about her being confused and a tad uncomfortable when the patient hugs her, which is why she pawns it off to rhodes)
- she also doesn’t hug the guy back, which is kind of funny, she never moves her arms and just shrugs out of it
- and like after the hug she takes a few steps away from the guy, really not wanting any more physical contact or attention
- there’s something interesting in ava’s expression when connor gets hugged by the guy, can’t quite explain it. i’m gonna go with it’s her trying to keep a straight face while connor hugs a man he just helped a woman cheat on, but that’s not all of it so
- or. okay, I think i got it. i think that that little expression when connor gets hugged is her rolling her eyes at him getting credit when ava did most of the heavy lifting. yes. final answer. i’m satisfied
- and her looking away from them is her stopping herself from laughing, bc connor is obviously not enjoying this
- and he’s so sad and angsty he can’t even play along with the jokes
- and ava smiling at him with pity as she walks in to talk to the patient, bc that’s really what it is. she feels bad for him bc connor is so obviously lonely
- and connor’s annoyed bc ‘dammit she does have a right to pity me i suck rn’
- med pushing the women are tough agenda LITERALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP
- you hate your women characters so much just fucking shut your mouth
- and will being like ‘ i have a lot to learn about women not being objects’
- and nat saying ‘you are way further along than most’ like no, he’s not. the bar is on the ground and he still can’t jump it
- i’m pretty sure this show doesn’t pass the bechdel test. holy fucking shit it doesn’t. you’ve gotta be kidding me. (at least this episode doesn’t)
I can’t believe this episode didn’t pass the bechdel test. The only convo btwn two women were like maggie and sharon and they talk about barry and oh my god this is infuriating god med the bar is so low. And I’m pretty sure most episodes don’t pass the test anyway. Will is literally the representation of med. He gets lots of credit for doing bare minimum things like giving women rights.
Anyway.
This was a good episode. We dissected a lot of unspoken Ava things, which is very good. Ava had a lot of moments where she was there, but didn’t say anything, and when your characters can do that, that’s when you know your characterization is very good.
The moments where Ava isn’t really doing anything to forward the plot of the episode but she’s still just there, doing her own thing, are hands down my favorite. Her sitting at the desk looking at a scan while connor tells latham he didn’t do cocaine could possibly my favorite ava moment in the series, just bc it shows how much of her own character should could’ve been.
I drew an interesting parallel btwn sarah offering the guy to slit her throat and ava’s death. i have nothing for that but go wild
This episode also showed us Ava pitying Connor, another new aspect. she gives him shit but she also pities him. very good ep for little ava moments
as always, thanks for sticking through it
-
read the rest here:
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Extra
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couch-house · 4 years
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Wow people like that anon are why we need to be more educated about manipulation via self-destruction. We all need to understand and know that if we constantly, repeatedly "make" someone feel bad enough to consider harmful actions just through TINY contradictions it might just not be us and we don't have to put up with all the stress, discomfort, depression, etc. that comes from it. And sometimes it's really obvious when it's manipulation, it's not NEVER an option.
exactly bro. i’m gonna do something real fun and talk about my abuser, who did this for years! under the cut
so im just gonna come right out and say it so i dont gotta give him an epithet every time, but his name was dibby/dib. he goes by a different name now i think but from what ive heard it seems like ppl r familiar with him by that name as well. w/e for his privacy i guess ill just leave his current name out of it. anyway i knew and was friends with/dated dib for about 7 years before we cut each other out.
ANYWAY dib had/has legitimate mental health problems, yes, but he also chose to use those problems as excuses for his manipulative and abusive behavior. dib had bipolar and would experience dramatic mood swings. unfortunate but normal and okay! if you experience mood swings and suddenly feel overwhelmed by sadness or anger, you probably know that, if you recognize this as a disorder, you should let the people around you know, tell them how you’re feeling, and do what you can to manage the situation.  dib would instead say “oh no i feel a mood swing coming. :( quick, distract me!” which, again is a clumsy but fair way to handle that, EXCEPT when it inevitably failed to cheer him up, he would blame us for failing, call us bad friends, insist we didn’t care about him, and isolate to only talking with his favorite person (for a while that was me). 
when dib got upset he would blow up, block me for days or weeks, and then later when he calmed down and felt lonely he’d add me back with some half-apology and assume everything was fine again. here’s a list i kept of things that upset him and had this result! it was called “things not to do”
tell dib when [his gf] is streaming
fail to tell dib when [his gf] is streaming
ask dib if it’s okay to do things
talk to him when he’s feeling antisocial
offer critique when it isn’t asked for
ask dib not to do something
talk to him in the tags (when not friends)
spam things he doesn’t like/isn’t involved in ((the relevant examples are bug blogs, bunnies, and the pbs kids show arthur. not because they trigger him, just because he doesn’t like them))
talk about/mention people that are my friends that he doesn’t like
offer solutions when he just needs confirmation
make it about you
yeah. keep in mind every one of those bullet points corresponds to at least one time he either faked his own death or blew up and blocked me for a week.
the bigger problem though was his suicide ideation. dib had a pretty shit life and pretty shit mental health and unfortunately was legitimately depressed and suicidal. he needed help but, living in america, really couldnt afford it most of the time. this is okay. if you or someone you know is unable to get medical health for depression or suicide ideation you know how hard it is to live with. sometimes there’s not a lot you can do and that person will Just Be Depressed an just Want To Die and theres not a lot you can do to help, even if you try your best. that of course, is not the problem with dib. 
the problem was repeatedly, starting i think when i criticized him for pushing everyone away by insisting no one cares about him and not putting any effort towards others, would make some vague allusion to feeling suicidal and abruptly log off and stop answering messages. this can be an okay way to deal with yourself if you’re upset BUT. THE NEXT DAY, after i frantically thought he was going to Attempt and repeatedly messaged him to try to deter him, check on him, ask if he was okay (he really just went to sleep, which again is fine), he decided to PRETEND TO BE DEAD.  he told his gf and maybe one other person he was alive but threatened them to stay quiet and pretend he was dead or he WOULD commit. so his gf at the time had to play along and all of us then-kids were freaking out that our friend had died, only for him to decide later that he’d had his fun and he could now announce “no i just logged off for a little bit :)”
he did this. many times. make some allusion to wanting to attempt then abruptly stop answering messages, knowing what people would assume. (this was one of the pieces of testimony i did not include verbatim in that rk post: i was told rk would do very similar things; part of why i thought the post was necessary. ive lived through the other side of that and i dont want ANYONE else to). i think two separate times that he did this, i was sent home from school early because i was crying so hard (my best friend let me think i was responsible for his death. he did this on purpose. he did this repeatedly. thats fucked up)
one time he posted a supposedly queued suicide note post! and all my friends were terrified he’d died! so i remember someone anonymously messaged kylee henke asking for advice, and i (who at the time he was mad at and had already blocked) got fed up with it (again because he’d done this so many times and i knew by now that there was no point in getting upset, he was just doing it for sympathy or attention or w/e) and messaged his mom on facebook asking her to check on him. he was fine, just like. crying in his room. also sidenote he got BIG MAD that someone told his mom and was posting when he was found out liek WHO TOLD >:( n i was like :)). bc bro if ur really abt to attempt i have an Obligation to get someone irl to check on you and protect you. but obviously you werent since this was like the 20th fucking time youve done this 🙃
he was a huge pizza shit for other reasons too but the main relevant one was that he would use his mental illness as an excuse for his deplorable behavior and blame others for things literally no one can reasonably do anythign about and then constantly and i DO MEAN CONSTANTLY use his own life and suicide ideation as a trump card.
anyway if you know someone who repeatedly threatens suicide or pretends to commit suicide by purposefully alluding to it before ghosting you, or posting a suicide note meant to blame others, you need to get out of there right now. that is not okay and you should not be dealing with that. ive taken years to get used to the idea that if i criticize my friends, they won’t kill themselves
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marthfador · 4 years
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Stole this from Twitter lol. Lost the og post but here’s the blank!
I tried to go for some bands that aren’t as completely well-known as well as some popular ones. I even tried to add some albums I’m fond of for those that I can tell the difference with! Breakdown and song recs under the cut! 
(U don’t gotta for the meme, I just like talkin abt music lol)
Going by rows, we’ll start with Gorillaz. They’re usually the band I mention if someone asks my favs because I’ve been with em since their first album. All of their albums are really good, but I think I’ve had the most fun with Plastic Beach! Humanz is probably my next choice followed by Demon Days. An underrated song from Humanz is Out of Body!
Daft Punk is another group I’ve been with since Discovery, which is quite frankly still one of the best albums out there. Everyone loves One More Time and Harder Better Faster Stronger but one of their overlooked songs that I’m fond of is Face To Face!
Nine Inch Nails.... SIGH. Gotta be that edge, right? But let’s be fair, I’ve gone to the past like 5-6 concerts they’ve put on, I can’t say I’m NOT a fan lmfao. No fav albums since again... 5-6 concerts. That’s 5-6 album drops. They’re all so good. Not to mention I love Trent Reznor... One song I’d say doesn’t get as much attention as the rest is God Given. (But again... Ow the Edge)
Studio Killers! Hello! The band Tumblr has babied up since they first started... I even cosplayed as Cherry for the one con I went to haha. Everyone knows the Ode to the Bouncer, Jenny.... But the most absolute BOP that I’ve fallen in love with the instant I bought their album was Friday Night Gurus. Just WAIT til the chorus, okay!!!
Scissor Sisters start the next row and like... What can you even say about them. I’m surprised they aren’t more of a thing here on Tumblr, their music is so catchy and bouncy and they sing about the wildest things, not to mention I’m pretty sure most of the band is LGBT in some way! While I try to aim for the more vague songs, Don’t Feel Like Dancing is my jam morning noon and night. (Also just LOOK at that video!)
In This Moment was actually a surprise get for me. I first got to see them opening up for another couple of bands and they absolutely stole the show. If you can ever get the chance, see them in concert!! I describe her as the Lady Gaga of metal- her outfits are fantastic and she’s got some hella backup dancers! As for songs, the list goes on... Whore, Blood, Black Widow... But here, have her singing with Judas Priest in Black Wedding. Yes, another edgy band but it’s metal, what do you expect.
Janelle Monae’s entire Dirty Computer album is fantastic and if you haven’t watched the little movie she’s shot to go with it, go do it now! It’s on youtube, what are you even waiting for!! We all love Pynk, The Way You Feel, Crazy Classic Life... But not gonna lie, Americans still gives me chills when I hear it. Not only is it a bop but Janelle def doesn’t shy away from Shooting Shots.
Beck lmfao. I honestly wouldn’t have thought to add him if it wasn’t for the concert I managed to get tickets to not long ago. His concert was PHENOMENAL, not to mention this new album of his was so fun and catchy... I just can’t help now but to say I love him. Not to mention his older hits like Where It’s At and Loser... Colors and Up All Night are so good but the song that blew my mind in concert and I had to get the instant I got home was Saw Lightening.
Des Rocs actually popped up on my Pandora and I had to look him up! Not only do I dig the whole look and aesthetic (black leather jacket wearing greaser guys? Hell yea) but I absolutely do love the sound. It’s got this retro rock feel and like... If you could Bang a Voice, I’d def choose this one lmao. Let Me Live/Let Me Die was the one that started it for me... But don’t miss out on Used To the Darkness either!
Mitski... It actually took me a few times to get onto this Tumblr train but once I got there I wallowed in it. Most of her songs are on my Sad Bitch Hours playlist but you know what? I’d describe listening to her music as sort of cathartic, I can lay down and stare at the ceiling listening to Mitski for an hour and somehow feel rejuvenated. I think Geyser was actually the one that got me into liking her, but Pink In the Night and Strawberry Blonde of course are good.
Florence and the Machine is kinda in the same playlist as Mitski, but I do absolutely love a lot of her songs. Many of them make me rather emotional (My work started playing Hunger and I nearly teared up at the register? Wtf?) but I think that’s kinda why I dig it. Dog Days Are Over is gonna always be my most favorite of them, but if you want one I don’t see many others chatting about, go for Cosmic Love. Big God is also a wonderful video if you haven’t seen it yet.
I’ve already talked and mentioned the Dead South in a previous post, but man do I love these boys! People talk about Gothic Cowboys and boy do these guys deliver. Their songs can be about death, adultery, literally losing your mind, so many other sort of dark topics but with such a catchy tune! Long Gone is a song that I get stuck in my head quite often!
Gogol Bordello... Wow, there’s so much I can say about this band. I believe the lead singer is from the Ukraine, his pal on the fiddle is from a country I cannot pronounce, he has twin backup dancers that are Swedish-Chinese, he has a guitar player from Honduras- this really is just a rag-tag group of people from all over the place making some fantastic music! I was lucky enough to see them in concert and their energy is off the fucking charts, I absolutely adore this group! Most people learn of them from Start Wearing Purple, one of my faves tho has to be When the Trickster Starts A-Pokin’... Also they performed with Madonna once? Hello? (Also I’m in love with Sergio’s fiddlin tbh)
Sofi Tukker is another artist I stumbled upon while listening to Pandora. It seems like many of her songs have a different style than the others, but they’re all so very catchy and have a wonderful energy to them. Speaking of... The song that got me into her best was Energia. I literally cannot listen to this song without moving a little to it, it’s such a poppy and fun song! For an English song though, try Best Friend. (Batshit Crazy is one I find funny too!)
Gold Fish was one I actually had to dig for at the time- one of their songs was playing in the background of one of those shitty Kia Hamster commercials lmfao. It was SUCH a bop even in the commercial that I had to find it! (It was Fort Knox btw) Again, as a lot of my poppy choices here, there’s such a good energy and upbeat sound to everything they do, it’s wonderful listening to. I actually love putting these guys on when doing chores around the house, it’s fun and gets the energy flowing and makes things a little more enjoyable! One that I also love to turn people towards is Get Busy Living. If you can’t tell between these two songs, they’re actually a sort of DJ-ish band- different vocalists and different sounds mixed in, but it’s all very well done!
Jain, another found treasure from a commercial... (Makeba was in a Levi’s commercial lol) I was reading that she was born in France, went to live in India for schooling, and wound up in South Africa to learn different musical stylings there- and it all very well feels like her music flows with all these different influences! I hate when stores use the generic word “ethnic” but I think her music and voice can very well fit in that sort of category. She’s got a lot of bouncy, poppy songs, but also a few more mellow songs as well... But of course I really love the bouncy stuff haha. If you need a song to get your heart pumping in the morning, I’d def recommend Star! A stranger sort of song that still has a great feel is Hope! 
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kashimasyuu · 5 years
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rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 15 people
tagged by @tetsuro thanks for tagging me!! 💖
tagging: @matsuohkarin @zoldyckie @d-a-z-a-i @whovian-on-ice @shinjikaris @kiritonarukami @kashi-ma @oshiruko @haiji-san @nico-chansenpai @tmakisamajiki @ocarinnas @shoto-doroki @darkfaethedestroyer @erenyegar only if you want to ofc!
LAST
1. drink - water (or cane’s sweet tea if you wanna be not boring)
2. 📱 call -  ......my doordash delivery last night lmao
3. text - from my mom abt college stuff
4. song you listened to - my love by new politics
5. time you 😢 - i think i cried watching tpn yesterday
HAVE YOU EVER
6. dated someone twice - no
7. 😘 someone and regretted it - i guess not fkdjflks
8. been cheated on - i don’t think so?
9. lost someone special - nope
10. been depressed - uhh idk?? not officially
11. gotten drunk and thrown up - nah
FAVORITE COLORS
12. blue
13. purple
14. pink (wow i’m bi as hell)
15. green
in the last year have you
16. made new friends - yes 💖
17. fallen out of 💛 - no
18. 😂 until you 😢 - yeah!!
19. found out someone was talking about you - not in a bad way
20. met someone who changed you - i mean probably??
21. found out who your friends are - i hope so jfkdsjflks
22. 😘 someone on your facebook friends list - lmao no, what fb friends
GENERAL
23. how many friends from your fb friends list do you know irl - ??? what year is this
24. do you have any pets - i have a lhasa apso named shimmer!! she’s 8 hours away though
25. do you want to change your middle name - nah it’s cool
26. what did you do for your last 🎂 - i did an escape room with some people from my dorm and then got food after, it was fun!!
27. what time did you wake up today - like 11 am? it’s spring break i’m not keeping track
28. what were you doing last night at midnight - .......i think i was watching dimension high school which just. wild
29. what is something you can’t wait for - short-term i’m really excited for the wotakoi ova (and a lot of other shows but they), otherwise for the semester to be over jkfsjgkls
30. what are you listening to right now - spaceship by art sorority for girls just came on, it’s my general spotify playlist called thing bc i’m a creative genius
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - i don’t think so actually? i’ve known people named thomas
32. something that gets on your nerves - random pet peeve i remembered recently: people putting two periods like .. what is that, idk why it bothers me so much but like. do a period or do an ellipsis pick one
33. most visited website - probably tumblr or college stuff, it varies
34. hair color - blonde? brown? no one can decide
35. long hair or short hair - it’s like shoulder length right now idk which that is, unless this is a preference question?? in that case i go back and forth so idk
36. do you have a crush on someone - god i wish
37. what do you like about yourself - i feel like i’m a generally nice person!! which every nice person says right skfdkjfl but i always try to be nice to people, i think it’s really important
38. want any piercings - not particularly? i already have my earlobes and cartiage pierced, if anything maybe double earlobe someday
39. blood type - i’d love to know
40. nicknames - nat lmao, also flamingo (my friend came up with it in like 5th grade and it stuck)
41. relationship status - single (unfortunately? maybe? who knows)
42. zodiac - pisces
43. pronouns - she/her
44. favorite 📺 show - as far as like standard tv i love the good place, as far as anime (bc you know. anime blog) i have to say ouran high school host club, shocking i know, it has a real special place in my heart
45. tattoos - i don’t have any and i feel like i’m way too indecisive for them
46. right handed or left - right
47. ever had surgery - i got my wisdom teeth and some others removed when i got braces
48. piercings - earlobes and cartilage like i answered earlier whoops
49. sports - god no, i played soccer in first grade
50. vacation - don’t really know what this is asking but i’m probably studying abroad in japan next year!!
51. trainers - like shoes? yeah i mostly wear tennis shoes
MORE GENERAL
52. eating - i had cane’s earlier, i’m the pinnacle of health
53. drinking - still water
54. i’m about to watch - nothing in particular, i was watching lets plays earlier kdsjfksj that phase hasn’t left
55. waiting for - me to get my life together? lmao idk
56. want - spring break to not end
57. get married - maybe? i’m not fundamentally against it but it’s not a life goal either, whatever happens happens
58. career - i wish i knew
WHICH IS BETTER
59. kisses or hugs - not to expose myself but i don’t really think i have enough experience to judge this fairly
60. 👄 or eyes - eyes
61. shorter or taller - taller, someone’s gotta be able to reach stuff
62. older or younger - older ig
63. nice arms or stomach - very situational but i guess stomach
64. hookup or relationship - relationship
65. troublemaker or hesitant - is hesitant the opposite of troublemaker? look i’m a goody two shoes but also jokes are fun so idk
HAVE YOU EVER
66. 😘 a stranger - no
67. drank hard liquor - no lmao
68. lost glasses - i don’t think so? i think i lost a lens out of a pair though dfjksljf
69. turned someone down - in like middle school i think
70. sex on first date - no
71. broken someone’s ❤️ - uh ouch i don’t think so? not as far as i know
72. had your 💔 - my fourth grade self would say yes jfkdsjlhfj
73. been arrested - read: goody two shoes
74. 😢 when someone died - this is gonna sound really bad but i don’t think so? i don’t really cry over major things, just dumb stuff
75. fallen for a friend - l m a o that’s all i do, local bi disaster here
DO YOU BELIEVE IN
76. yourself - uhhh i try
77. miracles - i like to
78. 💛 at first sight - not love no
79. 🎅 - my dad would say he’s the spirit of christmas so i’ll go with that
80. 😘 on a first date - depends on the situation
81. angels - fits in my general philosophy of “how should i know”
other
82. best friend’s name - not gonna expose myself or them lmao
83. eye color - not to be That Person but they’re like every color, mostly bluish-greenish though
84. favorite movie - god i’m so bad about movies, uhhh coco was really good
85. favorite actor - i have no idea
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jiilys · 6 years
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ooooooohh i hope "my sort of thing" is less than 500 words too bc its brilliant
i think its way more than 500 words but!! math is nothing!!! thank u for asking me abt this!!
heres the fic btw its them on social media and i took the title from ernest hemingway bc u know what? bitch deserves it 
Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: turn down gasolina
tribute 2 bonnie’s best thought as is required by law
Lily Evans to Sirius Black: tell potter to stop trying to engage me with fruit based wordplay
Sirius Black: he’ll be gutted
Sirius Black: also how did u get this number
Lily Evans: its written in the girls bathroom with TWAT over it
Sirius Black: and u assumed it was me
Lily Evans: well potter doesnt have an 021 number
okay so two things: when i was first was writing this there was a bit above it where james was in the group chat and said smth like ‘christ just saw lil and asked if she was peachy keen’ and then peter said something and it like wasnt??great?? and i sent it to el and she was like ‘cut it its funnier without the context’ anf she was right as always 
also in the tags someone was like ‘021 number spot the new zealander’ and i have never Felt So Known
lily rear ending james orginally was like More Of A Thing but it turns out its funnier if there are 0 details like i like to imagine she full on hits him while trying to park sits in her car for a full ten minutes trying to decide whether to drive off before leaving a note on his car bc u know....... she gotta
Sirius Black to James Potter: im in the assembly hall replacing all the trophies with vodka bottles
James Potter: no ur not
James Potter: cause im in the assembly hall replacing the curtains with glad wrap
Sirius Black: nah im in dumstrams assembly hall
James Potter: we dont go to dumstram
the image of james like.... looking around the completely empty assembly hall.... confused.. next to a garbage bag of vodka bottles...... Priceless 
i was SO WORRIED everyone would think this was a typo but like full offence... they 1000% called that school dumbstrum and then it just got shortened to dumstram over the years and now like no one can remember what the real name is 
James Potter to can giraffes get ripped: if evans asks I dont know who coldplay is
Sirius Black to Lily Evans: potter loves coldplay and went to their concert in 2011
Peter Pettigrew to Lily Evans: james’ favourite coldplay song is charlie brown
Remus Lupin to Lily Evans: if u play ‘fix you’ once james has had one (1) beer he will tear up and pretend its hay fever  
James Potter to can giraffes get ripped: no one here has any fucking loyalty
this is another bonnie tribute cause orginially i had his favourite as like waterfalls or smth?? and bonnie was like. no. make it charlie brown. and i was like. as u wish bc everything, really, is about the princess bride 
Peter Pettigrew to it should be pengu not pingu: sirius u ate all the humus and now mums pissed
Sirius Black: did u tell liz it was me
Sirius Black: say it was lupin
Remus Lupin: do not
group chat name is an andy reference love u dream girl 
also ‘do not’ is Peak Remus like he rlly would be that bitch and sirius rlly is, at heart, a basic fucking white chick so ofc hes all over hummus 
Unknown: so long dickweed im going underground
James Potter: does this mean ur missing bake off
Unknown: no obvsly ill go after bake off im not an animal
would this reference be outdated now whats happening in britain would i now have to talk about love island in new zealand the go to is always like shortland street bc its so stupid that its always in the news so you dont have to watch it to keep up 
Sirius Black to Lily Evans: u want me and james 2 punch avery 4 the calling u poor thing
Lily Evans: no
Lily Evans: do not do that
Sirius Black: wish youd sent this earlier
he fully sent this like right after doing it what a shit 
hes the best 
Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: u look awful did u sleep last night
Sirius Black: go home
Remus Lupin: i cant miss bio
Sirius Black: ill go for u
Remus Lupin: u dont take bio
Sirius Black: irrelevant
this is peak sirius being like Chaotic Good 4 only the ppl he gives a shit abt 
Remus Lupin to Peter Pettigrew: tell sirius his bag is open
Peter Pettigrew: why don’t u tell him
Remus Lupin: im not speaking to him bc he said james glasses’ made me look like a wombat
this is my favourite bit and like no one else ever comments on it but like..... hes so hurt theyre not even speaking............. petty doesnt even cover it 
Sirius Black: it would be THE HONOUR OF YOUR LIFE to get blown by me u fucking heathen
this is everyones favourite bit and i think thats cool im going 2 try and get ‘heathen’ back in the vernacular 
Lily Evans to James Potter: sirius just said i look pretty and didnt ask to borrow gas money after
sirius black yet again being the king of Chaotic Good. also this: 
James Potter: if i said u looked pretty every time you did id never say anything else
hes so gone 4 her its embarassing 
Sirius Black to Lily Evans: heard ur dying
Sirius Black: can i have ur nice waterbottle
i have been funny exactly 4 times and that bit above is like at least two of them 
The Fish Joke was so weird when i first thought of it but i needed a james/peter bit and i was like u know what........ Its Happening Lads
Remus Lupin: this isnt about you do you know what lily said to peter abt james
Remus Lupin: peter was bein all dramatic and said ‘hes dying’
Remus Lupin: and lily said ‘dont be ridiculous he would never do that to me’
Sirius Black: when are they going to fuck
Remus Lupin: yeah i thought it was rather romantic myself
tbh shouldve saved this line for a like live action fic cause i dont think it works as well over text 
Lily Evans to James Potter: at the risk of sounding like a tit im rlly tired of not kissing you
Lily Evans: as in i would really very much like to kiss you now and often
Lily Evans: its so late and i like you so much
Lily Evans: you always know how to make me laugh
like that stuff?? those are the kind of lines that only work over text bc a normal human person would never say all that at once in person but over text there is this whole gulf between you and that person so its just lily in her room saying all the stupid romantic shit bc she knows hes the real deal 
anyway thanks for this!!! this fic isnt actually too bad so!! looking over it again was fun im sorry i took so long 2 answer i hope this!! was what u wanted!
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assholemurphy · 5 years
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i am incredibly sad that i only have like, 1 extra adderall left (i may have to find somewhere to buy more from, since i only get like, enough for the month with my prescription, the only reason i had extras this month is bc it took a week for me to be able to get my prescription filled, so i literally had to go a week w/o adderall and i don’t wanna do that again, ever, it was hell, esp bc i ran out of sudafed, too, that week) bc holy fucking shit am i awake. i’m getting so much done. i took a shower and then highlighted all of the units in my script, which is usually hard to focus on bc it’s so dull, and i got another 15 units done, so i’ve only got like 30 left and i’m still wide awake and focused AF. like, i’m p sure that colors have smells, but also, like, the world is so intense and amazing. i feel fucking fantastic. i kinda wanna go skydiving, but like, not until i get my hw done, ya know?
but i’ve got 30 more units to do, then i’ve gotta make a graph, but after that, i’m done with the project and can move on. depending on how i feel/what time it is when i get that done (bc if it’s past 3:30/4a, i can’t sleep, i’ve got to stay up bc if not, i won’t wake up in time for class, but also, if i still feel this awake, then there’s rly no point to sleeping bc i won’t be able to, anyway) i might sleep, or i might start working on my playwriting assignment (bc that’s due mon @ 2p and i’ve got to write 6 1-min monologues for my characters) and watch the first 30min of shrek: the musical (bc i gotta have that done by fri @ 9a bc we’re watching it in class and that’s where we’re picking up at since the audio wouldn’t work in class, so it’s hw to watch the first 30 of it, but we can watch all of it, if we want, idk if i will, i’ve got too much to do and if i watch all of it, then there’ll be no point of going to class bc i hate rewatching things bc i’ve got a damn near eidetic memory for movies/books and certain other things, depending on how much i’m paying attention, but almost always books/movies unless i find them boring and don’t care abt them, so it would be stupid to watch all of it and then be bored in class), then maybe read some of after the fall (the script i’m pulling my monologue from for acting i) and do the assignment that goes with that (bc it’s due tues @ 9:30a). after that i should do my therapy hw (we’re still working on stuck points and i’ve got like, 5 more sheets, maybe more, to fill out) bc that’ll be due at my next counselling appt, which i think is next week, i’ll have to call them, but it’ll take abt an hour and it’ll emotionally drain me.
i think that’s abt it for hw, tho, but all of that’ll take roughly 9 hours, which means i def won’t be able to do it all tonight, but i can get most of it done if i don’t sleep, which means i’ll have more time for sleep/writing/literally everything else on the weekend. i might even be lucky enough to be able to get drunk. maybe. i’d have to start drinking at like, 3p and stop at like, 6p for it to all be out of my system so i can get to bed by 2/3a. so that’s a maybe. but a nice maybe.
ofc, i’ve got non hw stuff to do, too. i’ve got to make a list of roommate requirements so i can start looking for a new one (i’ve also got to talk to goldilocks to see when she plans to move out, bc like hell am i moving out, all the bills except her half of the lease are in my name and most of the furniture (aside from her personal stuff and the coffee table) is mine and i don’t want to have to move ALL of it out and into a new place, plus it’s her decision to not be roommates, so it’s on her, not me, and i won’t budge, not this time). then i’ve got to get my study/organization binder made so things’ll be easier to keep track of. i’ve got to do some cleaning (taking out the trash, cleaning up my side of the living room (we didn’t divide it, it’s just where the couches are so we stick to our couches most of the time) and the coffee table). then laundry, gotta do laundry, i’m almost out of socks.
ofc, i might have to start on my part of the second part of the group project. i wanna design costumes for the play, if neither of the others is doing that, which i hope they aren’t, bc i don’t know enough abt any of the other elements of production to do something else. but if i have to, i can try to do sound, maybe, that’s my second choice. so, i may have to start on that this weekend. i’ll talk to hurricane bianca and tim the toolman taylor and see what they’re doing for it probs on fri if not tomorrow at rehearsal. then i can start on my part and get it finished ahead of time to prove i’m capable, when i’ve got my shit together and am not having a breakdown every week. then, after i talk to prof j abt what i’m supposed to do for the show (something with finding times for freeze frames and spotlights, which is fun, but i’m worried my comdic timing isn’t the same as everyone else’s bc i’m autistic, so my sense of humor is a bit skewed, ya know? but anyway, prof j specifically told goldilocks (who is stage manager, i’m one of two assistant stage managers) to have me do it, so i’m afraid i’m being set up to fail bc i know nothing abt theatre, rly, and i’m always paranoid abt these things, but i’m also kinda thinking it might be bc she actually thinks i can do it, which sounds unrealistic, but she’s not a mean person, so i’m willing to bet it’s that one. but i need to ask her what all she needs me to do, bc goldilocks has no clue, which was so fucking helpful, what a great stage manager she is (no, srsly, idk if i bitched abt this earlier or not, but she’s absolutely horrible at this shit so far and i can’t stand working under her bc i hate working under incompetent ppl bc i feel it makes me look incompetent, too, if the job isn’t done right, even if it’s not my fault bc i wasn’t in charge and i’m always, always terrified to look stupid or incapable in the eyes of others). so, i’ve got to ask prof j abt what all i need to do bc i’m p sure the advice given to me by the lighting tech (who is apparently a decent stage manager, tho i doubt it, truly, she doesn’t have the personality for it, she’s too pushy and it makes her hard to work with, but that might just be bc i don’t like her as a person, so i’m reserving judgement until i see her in the position) is wrong bc it makes no sense, is way too hard, doesn’t actually help with anything and gives me a headache (bc mapping out the goddamn blocking is impossible when the actors do diff things every fucking night, wtf??? do the same shit, you assholes! but it’s also useless bc it doesn’t tell anyone where the spotlights/freeze frames should be, and blocking isn’t my job, it’s the other asm’s (who i don’t have a nickname for, but will probs have before the end of rehearsal) so why she’s not doing it, idk???) so i’ll ask tomorrow.
so, i’m looking at 9 hours hw now, then 30 min of cleaning, 3 hours of other paperwork shit, and potentially 4 hours of hw and 2 hours of theatre stuff this weekend. which means i can get at least 10 hours of sleep per night and get some writing done, if i finish most of my hw now. i think that’s worth one sleepless night. it rly is. so, here’s to hoping for at least one day off this week.
but if i don’t sleep, i’ll probs crash after rehearsal tomorrow night, unless i can convince my friends to come over and hang out, since they won’t be here this weekend and i kinda need their help making the roommate requirement list bc otherwise it’s just gonna be like ‘can’t leave time on the microwave after they’re done using it’ and ‘must know how to use headphones when others are studying in the living room’ and ‘must not whine when i want to stay in my room and do work instead of being around them 24/7′ (tho, goldilocks doesn’t spend much time with me anymore, which is fine, i guess, but it’s a complete 180 from what she used to do and honestly, i’m offended bc i caved and started staying in the living room and now it just feels weird not being in the living room and idk what to do abt any of this). i need real things, too, like, big concerns that i’ll forget abt when writing it, and i need to know if my requirements are petty or things that aren’t specific to most ppl, just goldilocks. and it’d be nice to hang out with them and shit.
anyway, this is rly long and rambly, but i rly need to vent all of this shit somewhere, it helps me sort my brain out. i don’t actually expect anyone to read it and you can always blacklist my personal tag ‘iz says stuff’ if you don’t want this shit on your dash. but if you do read them, then you’re always welcome to come to my inbox and be like ‘quit bitching and get back to work, dumbass’ or something. 
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slommyyyy · 6 years
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marvel asks!!
this is rlly long folks prepare your asses
steve: are you small or tall?
im rlly fucking short!!! bitch!!! im like five two!! hopefully i get a growth spurt soon bc bitch i dont wanna climb shit
bucky: what’s your favorite memory?
i have a bunch actually!! im gonna limit it to three bc aa theres too many,, 
SO!!! i had met viv about two months prior, and it was the summer and i was outside!! stargazing bc!! damn b its fun!! and we were texting bc ahe just woke up, and then!!!! a neighborhood cat came, and we talked abt the cat and stars and it was so nice??
anytime from when i was little at night!! stars, catching fireflies, going to the local water park, being at the beach w my mom and eating pizza, grilling hamburgers outside w my brother... mmm man i cant tell you HOW happy summer makes me?? we used to sit outside and catch fireflies and swim in an old shitty pool, and have to go inside ONLY if the amount of airplanes that flew over us was had a factor of 3, bc that number was my fav hgckygvk
fjbueod this sounds stupid bUT!! i rlly love skyping my friends?? like watching vine comps w steph and izzy, or that one time most of us all got in one MASSIVE call and micah flipped me off in front of my mom,, but anyway i had a call w my friends, and they all went out/ to sleep, and by myself, i realized?? these people make me feel so happy?? like i had been really sad for a long time and everyone just made me... good??? i watched the sun rise that morning, and i felt rlly complete man, like a new chapter of my life was starting
sam: what makes you happy?
my friends, music, and art a lot!!! also dogs in general,,
peggy: what’s your favorite era?
dude have you seen the music i listen to?? 80s/90s are my shit
thor: what’s your favorite weather?
if im outside?? warm to the point where youre sticky with sweat, but its pleasant, and dont feel like youre dying. if im inside?? summer rain!! i like the calming patter of rain and the thunder kinda just?? being there man!! watch a movie and listen to music to that jazz!!! play a ukulele or read a book!!! that weather makes me so happy
valkyrie: what’s your favorite drink?
cherry cola!! BUT!! i like the kind from those cool machines at movie theaters!! since like the canned stuff??? tastes brown w a liiiiittle bit of magenta. the bottled stuff??? more magenta but still mostly brown. the theater stuf??? hoLY SHIT!!! ITS LIKE BRIGHT PINK!!! MUTED W SOME BROWNS AND TASTES SO GOOD!!
heimdall: where do you see yourself in 5 years?
dude i cant plan the future tbh?? like maybe at college?? maybe taking time for my mental health?? idk!! also lmAO w my luck id be dead,, have you SEEN how much i get injured??? i fell off one (1) stair and broke my ankle for three weeks fsuvbeieu
korg: are you optimistic or pessimistic?
im actually realistic tbh?? i have a bad habit of looking at things from a point where its realistic to the point where its apathetic and,,, i gotta fix that man,, (also im not including my anxiety inthat bc iF I DID LMAO IDK W H A T ID BE)
peter: are you good at keeping secrets?
yeah!! unless its smth serious, then i try to get the person help from someone im POSITIVE is trustworthy, unless im positive its under control :0
ned: who is your best friend?
no!!!! no picking!!! i love all of my friends in dif ways!!! my friend cc?? my meme-y jam bud who complains abt our english teacher!! em?? fuCKIN RAD!!!! izzy?? we talk abt girls and how we love our moms!! lui?? a badass bitch!!!! kyra and jo??? my b99 buds!!! my brother was my only friend for literal years!!! id say more but this would get way too long i love all of my friends!!
michelle: do you like to go to parties?
lmaO NO IVE GOT RLLY BAD SOCIAL/GENERAL ANXIETY,, that and im never invited to any uyebve
liz: who was your high school crush?
this rlly cute girl in a few of my classes!! im too scared to talk to her thOUGH HBCEUIBS
aunt may: who or what are you most protective over?
my brother!!! holy fuck man i nearly decked some kids when i was little,,, this sounds edgy but my brother had some issues w social settings, so he was bullied, so i helped stand up for him!! we took boxing lessons for two years bitch!! got pizza on thursdays after!!.
t'challa: what is the most important thing your parents taught you?
my mom taught me to always do what i love, and i love her man,, wonderful woman,,,
shuri: are you a good driver?
bro i cant even drive and have a fear of cars
nakia: what causes are you passionate about?
a lot actually!!! rn its mostly LGBTQ+ rights, immigration, and gun control!!! i rlly enjoy arguing, but only the kind where both sides listen to each other, yknow?? bc people yelling hurts my head efvhbied
okoye: do you speak more than one language?
no,, i only speak english and have the german abilities of a two year old
m'baku: are you vegetarian?
no, sorry!! i dont eat much meat tho so i could probably go vegetarian p easily lmAO
killmonger: sunrises or sunsets?
ooo!!! i love both!! i love seeing sunrises in the morning, but i think i gotta say sunsets!! the colors are rlly pretty
peter quill: what’s your favorite song from your childhood?
my brother and i used to SCREECH hooked on a feeling its a fuckin bop
gamora: do you like to dance?
its fun but i physically??? cant?? my body doesnt know how to move so i awkwardly sway to shitty 80s music uekfbs
nebula: do you get along with your siblings?
yeah!!! my brothers one of my closest friends, and even though hes older than me,, im still shook by how old hes gotten,,,, bitches stay off the roads hes got no coordination
groot: are you quiet or talkative?
it depends on who im with!!! or how my brain is working that day!! with large groups im rlly quiet but in front of a crowd or with one to four-ish friends i know well??? ill talk your ear off,,, also sometimes my brain says!! socializing is hard so oh well
rocket: have you changed a lot since you were younger?
hdfubvyuedsvbdsiUHDBSCUI HELL YEAH!!!! dude ive developed my own opinions and gotten a lot more bitchy.... but also ive stayed the same in a few ways!! i still love art and music, and have obsessions really deeply
asgard: if you could move anywhere, where would you pick?
anywhere w my friends!!! 
brooklyn: where do you feel most at home?
outside late at night chatting w friends tbh?? it just feels right
wakanda: what is your hometown known for?
peaches!!
thank u @prcngx for tagging me!!! ily!! but you tagged a bunch of mutuals so i dont rlly have anyone to tag!!!! you monster!! ily!!
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