#her reasons for not being super loud about it are actually complex when you get into them

[honesttoblogjuno]

Hope your doing well Juno!! As someone who loves your writing process, what is your process for writing Enid? And how has that changed since concentrate and ask again to TSN (Greek tragedy being in the middle) ❤️

Hello anon!! 🫶 thank you for your question!! I’ll answer under the cut!

And p.s. for anyone reading, I unfortunately am going through some tough personal circumstances at the moment and so the upcoming chapter is delayed for a little while until I’m emotionally competent enough to write intimate moments without having a tiny mental breakdown! I appreciate all of your patience! I have fallen victim to the ao3 author curse of everything going wrong in my life at once 😌

I think that, for me, the best writing is the type that can draw from real life to bring some of those everyday spices to the flavour of the description! So, when I write, I try to write what I know, even in circumstances that are purely fictional.

In that way, I find I think more like Wednesday and my natural speech is more like Enid’s! So, I have a lot of fun writing her dialogue, because it feels more true to my actual use of language. When I’m writing her, I try to imagine what the lines sound like spoken out loud, and if they sound natural to what a teenage girl/bubbly adult woman would say, including filler and natural pauses. For her thought process and memories, I try to remember key moments that show her emotional range from the canon material so she doesn’t get flattened into a golden retriever character.

She’s had a tough life being what the Wednesday universe would call a medically complicated child, being the only daughter and youngest child, and having parents with high expectations for her. And, being a werewolf adds a social challenge to her childhood in a world full of non-outcasts as well. I try to keep those things in mind and ask myself WWED, and I usually come to the conclusion that she would try to spin the best out of what she has but know where to draw the line! She’s a much more complex character than I think fanon syndrome has eroded her into, so I like to add even more dimension where I can.

Overall, to keep the characterisations consistent, I try to find evidence in the canon material for every move I make. If there isn’t a direct parallel, I try to find evidence that can reasonably support an extrapolation. For example, we’ve seen Enid emotionally react with a pretty broad range of things. We’ve seen face-in-the-pillow exaggerated crying, humiliation-turned-anger violent outbursts, quiet disappointment, sting covered by deliberate optimism, justified last-straw frustration, and even vulnerable understated crying. I try to remember what age I’m writing her at for any given story and use those types of supporting evidence to age her up or down based on what I know about the process of emotional maturing!

Another key piece is pop culture and social media references. The fanfiction paradox is that every story for a contemporary setting has to take place in the present day because, even in TSN where they are like 12 years in the future from the canon, I can only make her modern by referencing what is current now. Even with that plot hole aside, it’s fun finding little ways to slip colloquialisms and references into her thoughts and dialogue!

When I wrote CAAG, I didn’t pay much attention to being super true to their characters. I wrote the story on a total whim over a couple of days mostly just for fun, so I wasn’t dedicated to making sure it was a truthful portrayal of them. I just used my gut instinct to write what I thought they might do and say.

But, for TSN, I dedicated a lot more time to really thinking through how they’d act in different circumstances outside the canon, and then how they’d act if they were adult women with years of emotional development under their belts. Where Wednesday might have made a sharp but terrifically mean comment or sabotaged something when the cover was leaked in the canon, maybe she would have gained the ability to just walk away. And, just maybe, she would have learned to attend to Enid’s feelings during that whole process too. That sort of thing!

For Greek Tragedy, I’m doing that same sort of thought process, but scaling them back down again. I’m most intimately familiar with a version of them that I invented for their aged-up story, so I’m trying to find a realistic middle ground! Having a beta reader has also been really helpful because if I’m not sure I’ve nailed it, I have a second opinion to weigh in!

I hope this answered your question, and thanks so much for sending it!!

#asks #ask

[thedragonagelesbian]

Cyrus and Wyll: 14, 5, 33

Cyrus and Halsin: 7, 12, 34

Cyrus and Karlach: 21, 26, 36

BG3 Cyrus and Meredith (redacted): 13, 10, 12

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ship asks :DDDDDD

CyrusXWyll

14. How would they describe one another if asked?

Cyrus about Wyll: Wyll is... gods, where to even begin? He's handsome, silly, charming, joyful, poetic, but most of all he's good. The kind of good that makes you believe in good again.

Wyll about Cyrus: Cyrus is a bit like a blackberry bush: sure, there are brambles and thorns, and even the leaves will prick you, but there's a great deal of sweetness to be found if you've a steady hand.

5. What’s their love language like? Are they compatible with one another?

Cyrus shows love through acts of service and likes to be shown love through physical touch.

Wyll shows love through words of affirmation and likes to be shown love through quality time.

They're immensely compatible, Wyll's words of affirmation make Cyrus blush and Cyrus' acts of service make Wyll swoon, and whether its sparring or gardening or listening to Wyll compose, they love to just be near each other.

The one fault line is Cyrus' desire for physical (and sexual) touch. They both have their hesitations-- Wyll's idealized chaste fairytale romance and worry about Mizora impinging on his intimacy, Cyrus' anxiety about being that vulnerable with someone again, it makes a lot of sense for both of them that they don't sleep together until Act 3, but even for non-sexual intimacy, it takes some time & negotiation & exploration. Very regency-esque. The first time they hold hands????????? woag...

33. Who was the first to say ‘I love you’?

I'm not sure yet, I have to play through more of Wyll's romance first, though I'm leaning toward Wyll, since this version of Cyrus has a much harder time with those words (which is heartbreaking given how readily he otherwise says it).

CyrusXHalsin

7. What do they argue about?

They're both so non-confrontational & default to prioritizing the other's feelings, it's hard to imagine them arguing. Even dealing with Cyrus' martyr complex, I picture Halsin being much more patient about it (if no less firm) than, say, Anders (as far as exasperated cyrusXhealer ships go). I could see them arguing about having children that were theirs in a deeper sense than the communal care for the orphans in the epilogue, as something Halsin might want but Cyrus really wouldn't. And I think they 'argue' about whose fault it was that Halsin got kidnapped by Orin, insofar as they both blame themselves.

12. What would they say each other’s worst quality is?

They'd say the same thing about each other: the impulse to minimize their pain.

34. Who is more stubborn?

Hmmmmm I'd say Cyrus but I think Halsin is uniquely well-equipped to manage that stubborness by triggering Cyrus' 'im not arguing with a thick hunk of an elf whatever you say beautiful' mode (especially when it comes to accepting care).

CyrusXKarlach

21. Who is better at games? Does the loser take it graciously?

For Cyrus, games are more a reason to hang out with people than something he actually cares about playing. For some games, especially those that involve gambling or deception, he'd much rather just be at the table watching his friends play & getting drunk & snuggling than actually participating.

I can see Karlach getting super competitive, and you're 80% sure she's exaggerating & playing it up for fun, but like... maybe she is really going to flip the table. At the same time, she handles losing better than Cyrus handles her losing. He roots for her very hard and (depending on how drunk he is) gets very sad on her behalf.

Also if they're on the same team for like a couples game or something, they get very loud and very excited together very fast.

26. Do any of them have bad habits that the other can’t stand?

Cyrus is much more on the fence about using the soul coins than Karlach is.

If Wyll reinitiates his pact with Mizora in Act 3, Karlach has a line to the effect of "you know, there's such a thing as being too good of a person. Someone should tell Wyll Ravengard." She feels similarly about Cyrus' worst sacrificial tendencies, especially when he's considering becoming a mindflayer at the end of the game.

36. How long have they been friends? Would they consider each other best friends?

Cyrus and Karlach kind of pass over becoming friends and skip right to wanting to jump each others' bones really bad. Especially because in my original playthrough, I ended up recruiting her super late (between defeating the goblin camp and the tiefling party), they hit the ground running with 'now i just need to find me a fire retardant lover' and 'i want to ride you until you see stars' and Cyrus giving himself third degree burns trying to hold her hand

Of course, in the absence of physical touch, they do develop a very close friendship leading up to Karlach's second round of engine repairs, but they'd name other party members as their besties (Shadowheart for Cyrus, Wyll for Karlach).

[REDACTED]

I was NOT expecting asks about this relationship, these took me out of left field & hurt a lot (<3)

13. What would they say each other’s best quality is?

Cyrus: her conviction

Meredith: his loyalty

10. How do they make up after a fight?

Cyrus apologies first; Meredith is always quick to forgive him, stressing how glad she is that he did the right thing so they can move past something that was probably her fault. If it's a big fight, she keeps avoiding him until she can be sure the apology will happen while she's seated in her court on her throne.

12. What would they say each other’s worst quality is?

Cyrus: her harshness

Meredith: she thinks he's perfect; even more inconvenient traits for the right hand of a tyrant, like his kindness, can be easily turned to her advantage

#cyrus bg3 #cyrusXwyll #cyrusXhalsin #cyrusXkarlach #(no ship tag for [redacted]) #speaking of perc'ahlia things that cyrus and wyll can also pull off i considered slipping in a 'he is my heart he is my judgement' #for how they would describe each other #i couldnt make it work but. its on my mind.

[lolotheparagon]

What Each G3 Pony Thinks of Scarecrow

Scootaloo: HES THE BEST!! He’s super scary, super smart, super cool and just SUPER EVERYTHING! I was the only pony out of my friends who liked scary stuff so I’m so psyched to have a friend I have something in common with! And to think this all started from me making a wish for a live scarecrow. We both try to scare people on the street which is really easy for me cos for some reason, I scare everyone in Gotham. Mr Crane says it’s because they can’t comprehend talking ponies. Weird. Anyway, Mr Crane may be a grump, but I bet having seven ponies to look after must be pretty hard. He always makes time for me though! He says I’m his no 1 henchpony and calls me Ragnarök! Which means natural disasters or something. Either way it’s cool! He’s the best boss ever and I hope he likes this new butterfly bomb I came up with!

Cheerilee: I thought he was a stinky old man at first, but we’ve got a lot more in common than I thought! For a scarecrow, he’s actually very smart! Which is strange, cos I thought scarecrows have no brains. Well, that shows what I know! Mr Crane has taught me loads of subjects like psychology, complex math and biology. Ponyville’s library doesn’t have any knowledge like this. It is a little hard to wrap my head around at times but it is worth it to rub it in Scoot’s face hehe. Mr Crane would make a very good teacher, if he didn’t look like a stitched up skeleton

Rainbow Dash: I know he doesn’t get my love of fashion and that’s totes understandable. He’s old. I mean have you SEEN that cloak?! Major frump alert! And pee-uw! does his breath stink! But he’s cool, as long as you don’t put him in a bad mood. But that won’t stop me from putting him in a dress! He is long overdue for a makeover!

Pinkie Pie: I don’t know if he’s our boss or our dad but either way, it’s nice to have someone to look up to. I may be the leader of my friends, but Im still a pony. So I can always rely on Mr Crane for advice. But he has a very weird sense of what’s right and wrong and I’m gonna criticise the heck out of that! I’ve never seen Mr Crane laugh, but when he does, it’s nice to see! But he’s never happy regularly when he’s around us. Sometimes I don’t know if he likes us very much… I try to cheer him up with a surprise party, but Mr Crane doesn’t like parties. Says they’re too loud. Doesn’t like the colour pink either. He does save us from Riddler’s bullying and protects us from people in Gotham throwing stuff at us, he’s very polite and says he “likes” us. So thats good!

Sweetie Belle: He can be a bit mean and grumpy but I think he’s very nice deep down. After all, he gives us toys, trips to the funfair and ice cream if we’re good! He also gave us such funny nicknames! I’m Pesticide! It’s also funny how he struggles to say our normal names without making a grumpy face! Haha Mr Crane is the funniest boss ever! Although I don’t get his whole scaring people thing with fear. I’m pretty sure he can scare people with how he looks already

Toola Roola: Its amazing how a scarecrow can be both magic and be really smart! He looks very scary but I guess that’s his job, isn’t it? And it kinda makes sense where he comes from. Gotham is a very gloomy place. Aw, I bet he misses it a little after being in Ponyville for so long. Maybe I’ll paint him a nice graveyard with lots of crows on it. That’ll cheer him up!

Starsong: You can tell he’s an old man cos he doesn’t know what TikTok is. Although it is so worth it cos his dancing is so silly, heehee! Good thing our babysitter whenever we visit Gotham, Barbara Gordon, knows all about TikTok and loves our dances! She has a beautiful singing voice! Oh yeah, we were talking about Mr Crane. Well, the only dancing he likes is the St Vitus’ dance. Why would a dance be named after a saint? That doesn’t sound very groovy…Mr Crane’s really weird.

Here is part 1.

#batman #crossover #g3 mlp #mlp g3.5 #starsong #g3 rainbow dash #g3 scootaloo #g3 pinkie pie #toola roola #g3 cheerilee #cheerilee #g3 sweetie belle #sweetie belle #arkham scarecrow #arkham knight #niche crossover #midnight ramblings #stuff I literally just wrote now and I’m tired #jonathan crane #the scarecrow

[hamliet]

The Masterpiece That Is Queer as Folk

Well, right before a reboot is set to come out, I finally got around to watching a show I first heard about (albeit without knowing the name) when it came out while I was like, eight years old. I then got in huge trouble for even mentioning to my parents that a friend had told me about a show with two boys french-kissing in a shower (okay, eight would’ve been way too young to see it, but still, fundie Christian memories ✨). 

And, I fell hard for this story. I genuinely think this is one of my favorite stories ever, definitely favorite TV show, with writing to parallel MXTX’s levels of wringing the most potential out of every little detail. The writing is of a consistently high quality throughout its five seasons, without a single weak season (although there was the occasional weaker plotline), which is something I don’t think I can say for pretty much any other completed TV series I’ve seen. I love, love, love this story, and those of you know have been following me for awhile know how rarely I say that. 

It’s explicit, often gratuitously so, but honestly that’s part of its charm and message: it’s loud and unashamed of itself, even when that makes it crass. It’s tired of being shut up inside a closet and it’s going to make it your problem if you choose to watch (and in doing so, mimic the journeys of its characters learning to feel and love and grow into human beings without apologies). 

Brian, Justin, Hunter, Ben, Michael, Debbie, Emmett, Ted--they were all fantastic characters with complexity to boot. It seemed like many of them could be stereotypes--particularly Brian or Emmett--but to call them stereotypes is blatantly wrong. There was just so much intricate complexity woven into each character’s psyche. If anything, it seemed almost like taking back the stereotypes by infusing them with humanity (one of the major themes: learning how to be human). It was existentialist, philosophical at parts, and genuinely moving.  

Brian could be seen as a stereotypical promiscuous gay man, but he is really a wounded child. Melanie can seem like a typical “butch” lesbian, but she has the arguably biggest and most sentimental heart in the series. Debbie is the voice of reason and moral compass, but also can get too caught up in her beliefs that she is a good person and hurt those around her. Ted seemed like a typical “loser” character whom I actually struggled to like through the first two and a half seasons... before his descent into addiction, which felt like one of the most humanizing portrayals of addiction I’ve seen. Ben and Hunter are both HIV positive, and neither of them are characterized by their illness or have their arcs primarily be about suffering and death porn. 

Admittedly, some parts haven’t aged super well. but without some of those elements (namely, the age difference between Justin and Brian), I’m not sure the story could have pulled itself off with the same poignant psychological insight, the same provocative themes, and the same character depth. So, that one I’m giving a pass on a literary perspective. Other parts that didn’t age super well are that really aren’t any trans or bisexual (although it seems like Hunter is bisexual, though the idea is never really labeled) or nonbinary characters, plus almost everyone is very white. It’s a very outdated understanding of sexuality in some ways (although in other aspects, the show is quite forward-thinking in others--for example, it says “acab” before it was cool).

So let’s break down Hamliet’s thoughts on different themes, motifs, plotlines, and symbolism. I’m going to start with Justin and Brian’s relationship, because it really did form the beating heart of the show in encapsulating, without fail, the main themes of each and every season.

Brian and Justin: Being Human Means Growing and Grieving (Season One)

Brian: Look, I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking. It's honest, it's efficient. You get in and out with a maximum of pleasure, and a minimum of bullshit. Love is something that straight people tell themselves they're in, so they can get laid. Then they end up hurting each other, because it was all based on lies to begin with. If that's what you want, then go and find yourself a pretty little girl, and get married.

Justin: That's not what I want. I want you.

Came in skeptical about this relationship, left convinced. 

Through season one, Justin and Brian’s issues build into the tragic finale through the themes of growth and loss that run through each episode of the entire season. Growth is what makes us human, but growing, living, always ends in death eventually.

At first glance, Brian seems to be the character who goes after everything he wants... but he actually is running away from what he wants. Justin is the one who actually goes after what he wants: he is super clingy to start with, to the point where it’s a bit cringe--but also, surprisingly earnest and honest. 

Brian has the opposite problem to Justin’s clinginess: he’s dead inside and pushing everyone away from him. Brian acts like he owes nothing to anybody and desperately has sex with every man he can, and makes a “big spectacle of everything” (as Debbie tells him), all in a childish attempt to feel something, anything at all. He wants to be human. He wants to be alive. But he doesn’t feel like he’s either of these things. His refusal to grow up is not so much a rejection of maturity so much as it is a rejection of his life in general: how can you grow, when you were never alive in the first place? 

Justin’s clinginess, while initially a flaw, is actually what makes the relationship perfect: Brian would never grow if he was not relentlessly pursued by someone who also asked things of him (Lindsay and Michael, while great friends, rarely ask things of Brian, while Justin does). Justin's childlike faith in humanity in some ways (and, admittedly less-charmingly, black and white way of thinking) helps Brian experience those things for the first time. The irony of course is that Justin seems like he wants to grow up--have sex, move out of his home, getting a fake ID--while Brian claims he wants to stay young, yet before Justin avoids anything actually innocent. When he finally starts opening up to Justin and his innocence, he’s confronted with what he’s been avoiding the entire season: grief. 

Brian needs to grieve his own nightmare childhood and his own issues, or else he can’t ever grow or feel human. 

To be human is to accept loss, accept that you aren’t superman, that you can’t control things. Literally the entire season is about the writers handing Brian challenge to grieve after challenge to grieve and him denying it until it smashes into the head of innocence (Justin). 

Firstly, Brian is tasked with whether or not to pull the plug on Ted when he’s in a coma, a choice that he thankfully doesn’t have to make when Ted wakes up. Then, Brian’s father tells him he’s dying and Brian finally tells him he’s gay (with horrifying results). His father dies (symbolic again of one symbol of his nightmare childhood passing away), and Brian doesn’t cry, which everyone points out is odd. Brian also ruins his relationship with Michael, and refuses to grieve it, pretending it’s all fine. While they do reconcile, Justin and Michael do more work to bring them back together than Brian does (speaking of, the scene where everyone leaves in disgust, telling Brian off for his cruelty at Michael’s birthday party, but Justin tells Brian “someone’s gotta help you clean this mess” was clearly a double-meaning and a genuinely heartwarming moment). Then, Brian struggles with signing away his parental rights to Gus to help Melanie and Lindsay, and does so in a bold moment without much grief. Brian treats Justin terribly on and off, but doesn’t grieve it because he tells himself that’s just who he is. 

However, Justin in season one, despite being a portrayal of innocence, also treats other people pretty poorly. (Brian is largely the exception.) His father is the worst, but Justin is also a brat with an immature understanding of love and people. He does his best to alienate his mother early on. He antagonizes people when he doesn’t have to in order to show off and prove he deserves to exist (like outside of Babylon when he tells everyone he gave Chris Hobbs a handjob, a moment where Brian warns him directly that he’s now “made a real enemy”). Justin’s brattiness is clearly coming from a place of pain and repression, so to be clear there is no moral equivalence there: he only humiliates Chris because Chris has been humiliating him throughout the series.

Justin also tries to convince Brian not to sign away his parental rights at first, which hurts Melanie and Lindsay, because Justin projects his own parental issues onto the situation without considering that Brian is not his father and the people involved are so different the two situations shouldn’t be compared. Plus, if anything, Justin puts too much responsibility on others, and is challenged to accept that he cannot control other people and how they feel or act towards him (Daphne falling for him, Brian, trying to win his father’s approval by considering business school despite his father’s hatred of him, etc.) This idea of putting too much responsibility on others is childish and normal for someone his age, and makes Justin and Brian very similar while also having contrasting ways of handling their relationships (clinging vs pushing away). 

This all culminates in the finale where Chris tries to murder Justin right when he and Brian seem to finally be happy at Justin’s prom. It’s only then, when Brian sits bloodied in a hospital waiting room, that we see him finally give in, grieve, cry, in the same place he and Justin named his son in the first episode. 

Justin’s lost a sense of innocence. Brian realizes that he is not the island he pretends to be, and that being human hurts. 

Justin and Brian: Being Human Means Accepting the Worst of Yourself (Season Two)

Michael to Brian: I think you're afraid to let anyone know you love them. That you have feelings. That you're human like the rest of us.

Throughout the second season, Brian hides the best parts of himself (literally not allowing anyone to know that he visits Justin every single night he’s in the hospital). Brian also self-sabotages himself by demanding Justin hide the best parts of himself (loving Brian) with their semi-open arrangement that fails epically, and Justin leaves him. But part of the reason is fails is also that Justin starts becoming more like Brian, even imitating Brian in word and action when he sleeps with a virgin, and... big surprise, neither of them like Justin becoming more like Brian. Justin doesn't want to be Brian, and Brian doesn't want to be Brian either.

Despite Brian’s narcissistic persona, the dude basically embodies the concept of “methinks thou doth protest too much.” See: him pissing on art of himself as a hero. After, Justin demands a real apology for that--directly telling Brian that his vague “sorry” isn’t good enough, and Brian gives i. A few episodes later, this scene then repeats after Justin starts his affair with Ethan with almost the exact same dialogue, but this time Justin is the one giving a vague apology, and Brian isn’t strong enough to ask for a specific apology. 

Justin: I’m sorry. 

Brian: For what?

Justin: You know what for. 

The point is again that Justin is becoming more like Brian, and it’s not a good thing.

As long as Brian hides the best parts of himself, their relationship is doomed. It’s not a coincidence that after the first time Justin tops him, after Brian literally lets Justin inside, Brian immediately panics and starts causing problems. Brian doesn’t acknowledge Justin’s birthday besides literally hiring him a hustler to symbolize how he’s pushing Justin into another person’s arms (Ethan). To highlight this, we have Ben and Michael’s birthday celebration as a foil, where Ben is upset over his declining health and behaves terribly. However, Ben apologizes, and Michael tells him a major theme:

Ben: There’s no excuse for it. There’s no excuse at all.

Michael: Sure there is. You’re human. 

The point is that Brian and Justin are human too, as much as Brian tries to deny his own humanity. Human beings make mistakes. And that becomes a major motif of the third season.

Justin and Brian: Being Human Means Accepting the Best of Yourself (Season Three) 

When we see Justin and Brian in the opening of season 3, Brian is still so defensive over Justin despite Justin publicly humiliating and leaving Brian that Brian punches his best friend, Michael, for suggesting that he shouldn’t have saved Justin’s life. This again ties into Brian’s self-hatred: he expects Justin to leave him, even feels he should. But Brian finds it easier to fight someone else on Justin’s behalf than to fight himself to keep Justin; numerous characters comment that Justin left because Brian didn’t fight for him, and they’re right. 

Brian and Justin are still stuck on each other, and shown through their indulgence of illusions (fantasy vs reality is another motif throughout every season). Brian literally hires a hooker to dress up as Justin, and Justin focuses on Ethan who is whom Justin thinks he wants Brian to be, only to discover that Ethan is Justin at his worst: brought to life by art, yes, but a cheater, and a liar. 

As viewers, we recognize issues all along: for example, during a sex scene, Ethan directly tells Justin “don’t be nervous;” this stands in sharp contrast with Brian, who had previously told Justin that he was clearly “terrified” when they first got together. Brian acknowledges Justin’s fears; Ethan pretends they don’t exist. Ethan wants an illusion; Brian wants the real thing. 

We also see the “real you” aspect of Brian and Justin’s relationship foiled with Ben and Michael’s struggle over Ben’s HIV. Michael almost wishes he has HIV to relate to Ben more, and this plotline climaxes in Michael holding a needle to his arm, contemplating giving himself it to be more like Ben, and this line:

Ben: I don’t want you to be like me!

There are other relationships in the show, even nonromantic ones, that emphasize that Brian can’t accept the best of himself. Brian refuses to accept any thanks for saving Ted’s ass, because he’s still denying the best parts of himself. Both our good and bad traits make us human: Brian needs to accept the best of himself, and Justin needs to accept the worst. 

Brian and Justin finally face each other while having sex with other people in Babylon’s backroom, but lock eyes and it’s clear who they wish they were with. They have to accept themselves at their best and at their worst to be able to accept each other at their best and worst.  

Fortunately, that’s precisely what happens. When Justin decides to win Brian back by interning at his company, he gives him a sincere compliment that Brian can only smile at (ie, Justin confronting Brian with the best of Brian’s traits):

Justin: I've already learned more than I would in an entire semester of school... Which says a lot about you, actually.

Brian: About me?

Justin: Yeah. They say the tone of the workplace is established from the top. So it's a great compliment to you that you have such a dedicated and hardworking staff. 

And Justin is then able to show Brian that yeah, he knows Brian’s worst traits. And even with his worst self, he still thinks Brian’s best traits make him worth it, and that Brian can actually become better, grow. 

Justin: If you had any brains at all you would never have let me leave. You would've told me I was making the biggest mistake of my life. That I would live to regret it. That what you gave me was worth a thousand--a million times more than anything he had to offer. You would have told me that you loved me, and that you would go on loving me even after I was gone. 

Brian then confronts Justin on his worst traits:

Brian: That is so like you! You don't hear what you want, so you leave! Try standing up for yourself for a change! 

Aaand then Justin is able to admit his best traits:

Justin: I decided you should take me back... even though I’ve made a few mistakes, I think you’d be making an even bigger one not to give me a second chance. 

In other words, when they get back together, they’re able to see each other as fully human. 

When they get back together, Justin and Brian are able to pretty much save the world by stopping Stockwell. Debbie outright states the season’s main theme after Brian gets fired for sabotaging Stockwell (such a smallscale Trump it’s almost eerie):

Debbie: it's your innate goodness. 

Brian: *laughs* 

Debbie: we all know good from evil and you’re no different. 

Again, the “you’re no different” line emphasizes that Brian is human despite his denials thereof, and being human is not just about fucking and being selfish--it’s about love and community and a long arc towards justice. And then Brian finally becomes the hero Justin and Michael have always believed him to be and gives up literally everything he owns--everything except the people who love him, honestly--to stop Stockwell. Not only that, but no one except his closest friends will ever know he is the one who saved the town. 

The idea of accepting the worst/best of yourself is also foiled in the finale when Ted reunites with Blake. Ted cared for Blake because Blake brought out the best in Ted--his generosity and kindness and belief in goodness of humanity--but was destroyed by the worst (Blake’s addiction). At the rehab where he once dropped Blake off, Ted finds himself a patient, and Blake as his counselor--showing Ted that there is a future, that the best in you is never dead no matter how far you’ve sunken. You can always find it again. 

Justin and Brian: Being Human Means Accepting Help (Season 4) 

Season 4 at its core is about learning to be weak and ask for help. Ted needs help finding a job. Ben needs help processing rejection of his manuscript. Brian needs help keeping his apartment. But none of them want to feel pitied, and so they flounder. 

One of the ways people can need others is to need others to forgive them. Obviously we have Blake and Ted, Ted and... everyone after his addiction, Debbie forgiving herself for the way she treats Vic, and Brian and Justin forgiving each other and therefore forgiving themselves. 

Obviously this was first set up in Season 3, when Brian forgave Justin for leaving him, but it’s further expanded on by repeating a lot of season two’s elements... in a way that doesn’t feel repetitive but instead shines a light on just how much growth the characters have undergone.

Justin’s brief foray into vigilantism is clearly paralleled with his foray into gogo dancing in season 2: both Brian warns him about, but Justin insists he can take care of himself only to get way in over his head. With gogo dancing, the boss sexually assaulted him; with the vigilantes, Justin ends up realizing that Cody is not that different than Chris Hobbs--he’s cruel, he’s hateful, he’s violent, and he only wants to use Justin for his own pride. But instead of how Justin allowed his guilt over needing Brian’s help for school to drive them apart after the gogo incident, this time Justin allows himself to get closer to Brian after realizing Brian was right. Justin also doesn’t forgive Chris Hobbs (nor really should he), but he does realize the pointlessness of revenge. 

Brian then needs help but resorts to I can take care of myself when he’s diagnosed with testicular cancer. He lashes out at Justin and refuses to tell Justin what’s really going on. Brian’s lashing out becomes particularly cruel where he essentially tries to force Justin to leave him... only for Michael to show how much he’s grown by intervening and mediating. When Brian comes home sick to find Justin cooking soup for him, Brian falls to the floor and is literally struggling to get up from a fetal position (hello, obvious symbolism):

Brian: I’m all right! 

Justin: You're not all right.

Brian: Then why are you asking me?

Justin: So I can tell you what a motherfucking piece of shit you are for not telling me! For shutting me out! For thinking that you could handle this on your own! And most of all for thinking that I would leave you! Why would you think that? 'Cause you had a ball removed? 'Cause you're no longer perfect? Well, believe me, Mr. Kinney, that is the least of your imperfections! And if I wanted to leave you, I've had plenty of better reasons.

Brian: Well, maybe you should have.

Even though it’s framed as an argument, it’s actually Brian finally opening up. The look on Justin’s face when he realizes that Brian has finally told him the truth that he’s not been able to admit the entire series--that Brian hates himself, that he thinks he doesn’t deserve any love--was stunning. He said some pretty cruel things to Justin, yet Justin forgave him. Sometimes, that’s the best help someone can give--even the only help. 

Brian and Justin: Being Human Means You Can’t Control Others (Season Five)

Brian: My mother was a frigid bitch. My father was an abusive drunk. They had a hateful marriage, which is probably why I am unwilling or unable to form a committed long-term relationship of my own. The fact that I drink like a fish, abuse drugs, and have more or less redefined promiscuity doesn't help... much. As a result, I've lost the two people in my life that mean most to me.

Season 5 is all about everything changing and the resistance people have to change, but that doesn't mean the love that grounds it goes away. Melanie and Lindsay break up for a bit, Debbie leaves the diner only for a copycat to take over, Babylon changes when Brian buys it... and then when it explodes. 

Season 5 really explores the limits of change and what can and cannot change. Brian in particular has always used being gay as an excuse for why he doesn’t feel human, when his issues are far more complex than that. His being gay won’t change and shouldn’t (despite what the homophobes scream out their cars in certain gutwrenching scenes), but his attitude towards himself and others and towards his own sexuality can and should and does. 

Despite not feeling human and supposedly being very “live and let live,” Brian is actually something of a control freak, as becomes increasingly obvious in season 5. He lashes out at Michael for marrying Ben and setting up house, at Ted for pursuing a monogamous long-term relationship, at Justin for wanting commitment. Everyone moves on, but Brian is terrified of losing the only ways he feels alive... and he’s still stuck in a childish, egocentric mindset that he controls the world. (Justin has his own issues with control this season; namely around his mother’s new relationship, Michael and Ben struggle regarding Hunter leaving, etc). 

Brian: Before you and your husband tied the noose around your necks he was perfectly happy! But now, he's a defector, just like the rest of you!

Michael: He was never perfectly happy! Waiting for years for you to say "I love you, you're the only one I want."

Brian: That's *not* who I am!

Not only that, but there’s certainly irony in Brian claiming he “accepts” (his term) Michael’s choice for domestic life, but he clearly does not. The concept of “home”, which has been a motif for Brian and Justin’s relationship since the very first episode where Justin points out he’s not able to go home and hence he stays with Brian, and how Brian negotiates their semi-open relationship in season two with the idea that he wants to “come home to” Justin, comes up again in this same scene where Brian confronts Michael and blames him for Justin moving out:

Michael regarding his house with Ben: It's a home!

Brian: It's a farce! It's a freak show!

Michael: ... (Justin) didn't leave because of (me). He left because of you. Who wouldn't?

Again, there’s irony here. The “farce” and “freak show” are comments Lindsay’s parents have lobbed at her marriage to Mel throughout the show. Yes, Brian, resident gay stud of Pittsburgh, has some serious internalized issues that brush up against homophobia and that just boil down to the same issues driving many of the show’s antagonists: control. Wanting to be God, not human. 

Brian needs to accept the limits of being a human being. You cannot control others. When you love them--to truly love someone--you don’t even try. You give them free will. You love them. You support them. I’m sure you can see the parallels between the general portrayal of the Prop 14 supporters who are using religion throughout the season to try to control others and claim it’s love when it’s blasphemy to call that love. 

As usual, Debbie is the voice of decency, not only by yelling at the religious protester “JESUS THINKS YOU STINK!” but also by saying to Brian:

Debbie: your problem is he left you. He left you, and he moved on. Only he didn't. You and he just made different choices, that's all. Doesn't mean that you don't still love each other.

Everything reaches a head when Babylon--symbolic of not just the gay community in QAF, but of Brian’s entire life--literally explodes. That scene is horrifying, disorienting, brilliantly shot and nauseating (like, I almost threw up, and it’s not gory at all--it’s just devastating, and the pure emotion hit me like a sack of bricks). 

Justin and Brian choose not to control each other, which is actually a sign of love. About the finale, it has its own section below. 

The High Cost of Living

Justin: time will inevitably leave its mark... we should accept our mortality with dignity.

One of the things about growing, and growing up, is that you inch closer to death. There is no growing up without wrestling with mortality. 

Brian in particular is called out by the narrative constantly. By episode 4, Ted forces Brian to be his power of attorney, to make the final decision whether he should live or die, because Brian needs to make the same damn choice. It’s the central choice Brian will have to make in the series: does he want to live? Because if he wants to live, he has to grow. And the rest of the remaining five seasons constantly ask Brian to think about what that means, holding his feet to the fire and forcing him to grow. 

The concept of aging is brought up in terms of this as well. From the start, Brian is terrified of turning 30 (oh boy, I feel ya there, Brian). He’s even suicidal at the thought, because he can’t fathom being older which has dual meaning for his character: firstly, that he’s stuck in adolescence emotionally, and secondly that he’s afraid to take charge of his own life. If he does, he’ll have to take responsibility for things. Being forced to take responsibility for not just Gus, but Justin, Lindsay, Michael, and other moments... it was good. Being young isn’t demonized either: in some ways, Brian being with Justin is a symbolic (literary please I’m not talking real life problematic elements) way of Justin meeting Brian at that age emotionally, and them growing together. Debbie even says that they are “pretty evenly matched” maturity-wise. It’s also a real-world psychological fact that people who experience trauma as children can become emotionally “stuck” at that age, unable to move past it. 

All of this ties into the PTSD motif with both Brian and Justin suffering from the disorder post-Chris’s attack. PTSD can make you feel like you’re not really living, which the show displays. A psychiatrist tells Brian:

It's like a fairy tale, Rapunzul or Hansel and Gretl, but the cage is his mind, and it's up to you, the handsome prince, to release it. 

This applies to more than just Justin’s repressed memories of the attack; it applies to their entire relationship over the course of the show. They have to escape their cages of trauma and terrible coping mechanisms in order to fully, truly live. Justin is as much the handsome prince to Brian’s trapped Rapunzel as Brian is a prince rescuing Justin--for the entire show. 

In season 3, Justin even directly tells Brian that the latest comic based on Brian is about: "It's about thawing his cold heart, bringing him back to life. It's about their love. It's about commitment." Those elements give life. 

Season 4 is where the motif of life and death really picks up again, when Vic dies and Brian is diagnosed with testicular cancer. Brian contemplates letting himself go out in a blaze of glory, young and handsome, but in the end goes through with the treatment (which involves removing a testicle) after spending time with Lindsay and his son Gus, with Michael, and with Justin telling him that he loves him again. 

The finale of Season 4 has Brian breaking his collarbone and still insisting on finishing the bike ride. Brian is literally in front of a graveyard on the path when Michael shows up next to him and insists that if he’s going to do this, they’re going to do it together. They come to the finish line hours after everyone else has finished, and Brian, in agony, decides he’s close and enough and wants to stop. 

But then he sees Justin waiting for him over the finish line, along with Debbie who loves him like a mother, and Ben (Michael’s newlywed husband) and Hunter. And he’s motivated to push forward and finish well, despite the pain because the people who love him want him to live. 

The Scarf and Art as Life

That bloodstained scarf Brian buys himself for his thirtieth birthday becomes a beautiful symbol of not just Brian and Justin’s relationship, but Brian’s life, which is forever tied to Justin. Brian at first buys the expensive scarf to indulge himself (as he starts the series doing in spades), then uses the scarf to get off and simultaneously flirt with dying via autoerotic asphyxiation, and then finally uses the scarf to dance with Justin. But the scarf becomes soaked with Justin’s blood after Chris’s attack, and yet Brian continues to wear it. 

He can’t take it off, because it’s their lives in a symbol. When Justin starts to remember what happened, he uncovers the scarf on Brian. When they make love for the first time after the attack, the camera focuses on the scarf lying beneath their feet. 

Justin’s life is his art, which Brian directly says in the first season, and which Debbie emphasizes by telling Justin as he wrestles with whether or not to go to Dartmouth for business like his father wants or to pursue his art (his own life):

Debbie: you don't have the power to get [your parents] back together. But you do have the power to fuck up your own life. So make sure you think twice before you do it.

Chris’s attack almost steals Justin’s life and his art (literally, though the damage to his brain and hand) from him. When Justin struggles with his recovery and considers dropping out of art school and Brian buys him a computer so he can do digital art, he reacts angrily:

Justin: You can tell everyone you fixed Little Justin's problems? Well, you can't fix this. No one can.

In season 2, Brian pissing on Justin and Michael’s comic is really symbolic not just of the injustice he did to Michael and Justin’s lives, but also symbolic of how he feels about himself (as Debbie says, they literally based the hero on Brian, because “you’re their hero”).

At the end of the series, when Justin goes to New York to pursue his art fulltime, it’s symbolic of him being fully alive--and symbolic of Brian being so as well. Why? Because Brian’s life is tied to Justin’s, forever and always. If Justin lives freely and succeeds, then Brian will as well. Brian telling Justin to go was him choosing to live fully and freely for the first time. 

Religion, Fathers, Mothers, and Sons

Justin: I've caused them enough pain.

Brian: It's bullshit. They cause their own pain just like everyone else.

There are so many parental relationships in the series, and they span from the horrific to the beautiful. Debbie is the mom I want to be, and good religious rep... in contrast to, say, Brian’s family, which is horrifying. I mean, Brian’s dad legit telling his son “it should be you who’s dying” when Brian tries to finally tell him he’s gay after his father’s terminal diagnosis was a moment I audibly gasped in horror. 

Brian’s mother, however, while horrifically homophobic, cold, and emotionally and verbally abusive, was still very humanized in that it’s clear she has no one to love her and be kind to her. Brian’s kindness is to not take her faith from her. I also liked the priest character, because he was upfront that he never taught anything but God’s love, and God was whom he answered to. He also pointed out to Brian that he has someone he can always count on and have around: God. For Brian, that person is Justin (the religious motif is emphasized also by the fact that Justin tells Daphne “I met God” after meeting Brian the first time, and by the scene in the final season when Brian prays with Debbie for Michael to survive his injuries--although, as both say, they aren’t asking God so much as they’re “telling” (which btw is actually biblical lol). But the point is that Brian then goes and tells Justin the truth finally: that he loves him). 

Debbie moms everyone in the group, and helps Jennifer learn to be a better mom to Justin as well. But Debbie can herself grow as well: she projects her fears and trauma over Vic’s illness onto Ben and Michael, and allows her own insecurities to ruin her relationship with her brother. 

Justin’s father is terrible, but Jennifer is instead well-intentioned and flawed, fairly complex. She at first blames Brian for Justin’s injury, and Brian ironically chooses to believe her (that it’s his fault) over Justin (who directly says “it’s not your fault” multiple times while embracing him). Again, this is symbolic of Brian’s childishness (believing a parent over an equal), but what helps is how Jennifer grows and apologizes to Brian, asking him to help Justin instead. By showing Brian that growing doesn’t always mean turning into a miserable, angry bastard, Jennifer actually gives Brian a good example of how to stop being an asshole. 

Parents can grow, because parents are human.

Injustice

Ben: Your children lead privileged lives, and you dare to laugh at my son's misfortune.

By the end of season one, the relationships we’ve been following all reach significant moments: Blake runs away from rehab and thereby from Ted, and he has to face that he cannot save Blake. Michael moves to Portland with David, taking a risk that ultimately doesn’t work out. And Brian finally makes a good choice, coming to Justin’s prom. The couple that made the best decision for each other in that episode? They’re the ones that end up in the worst tragedy, when Chris attacks Justin. It’s wrong, it’s infuriating, and it’s devastating.

It’s also unfair in another element: the narrative has been challenging Brian to grieve, but Justin being the one actually to almost die seems horrifically wrong--and that’s the point, and what makes it powerful. Justin did nothing wrong insofar as learning to grieve goes, but he pays the price. In this, the show calls out a double standard in society, shows us how unfair it is. The innocent, the childlike sunshine, pays the price for society’s bigotry, for adults inability to healthy process emotions, for all of it--burdens they should never take on. 

The motif of injustice comes up again and again throughout the show: Lindsay’s parents paying for her sister’s three weddings yet calling Lindsay’s marriage to Melanie not “real.” Hunter being targeted at school for having HIV after being abused physically, mentally, and sexually his entire life, the pursuit of justice for the murder of Jason Kemp, Michael and Ben not being able to legally marry, the issues around adoption... we also never really find out who attacked Babylon. These plotlines are seldom resolved with feel-good bows (with the exception of Jason Kemp’s murder), because there’s still work to be done in the world. 

Love: An Unconstrained Risk

One of the main symbolic messages of the show, especially when taken in the context in which it was made (early 2000s, before same-sex marriage was legal in any state in the USA), is that love can’t be easily defined or put into a box, but love is powerful and life-giving. The fact that most of the romantic relationships in the show were, obviously, queer, highlights this. The romances also weren’t limited by age--we have younger, older, and elderly people falling in love--or by health. 

Whether or not legal marriage was allowed, the love and commitment Melanie and Lindsay have is real. Ditto for Ben and Michael. Despite the weird, even creepy on the outset age differences between Emmett and George (and to a lesser degree Justin and Brian), both of these relationships ended up being really beautiful. Love isn’t even defined by time or broken by death: it goes on and on. That’s one of the main messages of the ending--that time and space have little say in the love Brian and Justin have for each other. Love will not, cannot be constrained by forces manmade or intrinsic to the universe. (That said, I still would have liked to see them actually get married, because there was foreshadowing for it... but the ending is well-written.) 

Love also comes with risks, which itself is a theme that ties in with the concept of being in the present moment (another theme). Marriage is a risk for Lindsay and Melanie, Ben and Michael, Brian and Justin, Debbie and Horvath--and not choosing to marry is a risk as well in the latter two cases. Moving to Oregon with David only for it not to work out for Michael was a risk, as was choosing to love Ben despite the fact that people were warning him about Ben’s HIV positivity. Vic moving out with Rodney was a risk. Tucker and Jennifer was a risk. Ted falling for Blake was a risk that seemed to not pay off, but then later did. 

There is no love without risk, and the tides may not run smoothly, but it doesn’t make it any less real and eternal. This applies to an extent to self-love as well. Drew coming out, Melanie and Lindsay giving themselves permission to get married, Brian really only learning to love himself through loving and caring for Justin.  

The idea of love as a risk is honestly most fully embodied in Michael’s character as well, particularly in the motif of fantasy vs reality. Michael’s major issue early on was his unrequited love for Brian, which made him leaving with David a good choice for his character... even if it was obvious the relationship was doomed. Why? Because David clearly loved the idea of Michael more than Michael himself, and Michael loved the idea of David and the white picket-fence life (which he genuinely wants and does get) more than the reality of who David was. With Ben as a husband and Hunter as their son, it was hard, riskier than staying in reveries. 

The Finale

Which is again why the finale works from a literary perspective even if my taste is to like things neatly wrapped up. Instead of marrying, they commit to loving each other without full guarantees, because they both still have a little more growing up to do (honestly, QAF is a bildungsroman). Brian’s finally saying the words “I love you” was progress; the proposal was less so because it was made out of fear, out of I can’t risk losing you, rather than a full maturation. But you have to risk in love. I honestly think the implication is that Brian and Justin will end up together for real, probably married, since it’s still abundantly clear that what they want is each other, and they are forever each other’s life; we don’t necessarily need to have it spoonfed to us to see the narrative implication.

I mean, really. The narrative showed us at the start of season five that Brian made room for Justin to move in even while not expecting him to come back from LA (showing a part of him does know they’ll be together), called out the fact that Brian didn’t return the rings, they promised to visit, and how. many. times. did the series have Brian fantasize about going to New York for some fancy life, while Justin’s fantasies were always about ending up married with the love of his life? It’s pretty clear their goals do align--there’s just still more growing to do first. Yes, no future is guaranteed, but the hint at an off-screen happily-ever-after so blatant I’d barely call it a hint. We even have, back in season 4, Vic’s post-death pseudo-spiritual visit to Brian’s dream, where he tells Brian he was lucky to get four more years after his almost-death, but “you’ll have a lot more than that.”

Also again, season 4′s finale can be seen as symbolic of where it’ll end up. Michael and Brian move towards the finish line, Brian, because he’s crippled in pain and literally broken, is running hours later than everyone else. But with Michael pushing him towards the finish line--where Michael’s husband and son wait alongside Brian’s partner in Justin... well, it’s clear they’re still pushing towards that line by the end. 

And finally, all the foreshadowing of an off-screen married happily-ever-after ending for Brian and Justin in season 5: Justin going to LA and coming back, despite Brian thinking he won’t. Hunter leaving, and then returning. (Let love go, and it’ll come back.) Someone remarks that it is “magical thinking” that Melanie and Lindsay would get back together, and Emmett responds “Well, you never know.” Lo and behold, they do get back together, despite reaching the lowest of the low in their relationship and doing things to each other that could honestly be seen as unforgivable. Blake and Ted reunite at last, because it had always been “right person, wrong time” for them, and it was finally time. I kind of don’t think the main relationship of the entire series is supposed to be the exception. 

Being Yourself

Michael: ...being different is what makes us all the same. It's what makes us family.

Of course, another main theme throughout the show was that of being yourself. It’s pretty expected for a queer show, but QAF gives it a unique twist in how it emphasizes this (not just in season 3). But starting in season one, Brian tells Justin he’ll go on to meet lots of other guys, and Justin replies that he doesn’t want other guys: he wants Brian. The rest of the show is precisely about Justin discovering what that means. The end is Justin still wants Brian, but he doesn’t want Brian to deny himself completely--that’s actually Justin showing that he really loves and wants Brian as he is. 

But, the show also emphasizes that no person is an island. People do need each other, and the things we do with our lives do affect others. See again: Brian choosing to go through with his cancer treatment for the sake of his loved ones, Hunter desperately needing Ben and Michael as his parents, and how when the community bands together, they’re really able to accomplish the unbelievable, even the miraculous (taking down Stockwell, rebuilding Babylon). 

Stuff I Didn’t Love

The season 3 plotline with Brian’s nephew accusing him falsely was a retread and not a good idea: the idea that kids often lie about that is just not particularly helpful (because it’s not true), and the plotline/challenge for Brian’s character was done much better with the sexual harassment suit from Kip in season one. 

The season 4-5 plotline of Lindsay cheating on Melanie and the ensuing custody battle was another retread of Melanie cheating in season one and while it did ultimately not ruin their characters (which it could have done; to their credit the writers made it work), it wasn’t exactly the best choice of writing either. 

Emmett and Ted had no chemistry so I could never buy them as anything more than filling space, which I think was the point in the end, but for a few episodes it seemed to be taken too seriously as something to root for when it... wasn’t. 

Overall Impression

I’m drawn to stories about existentialism, stories that explore nuance and empathy, stories with themes like what it means to be human, stories that aren’t sanitized for the sake of a moral message (biggest fear for any reboot right here). Maybe it’s again the fundie upbringing, but I constantly feel like I have to earn the right to exist and struggle with accepting both the best and worst aspects of myself, and media that explores questions more so than hammers a message appeals to me (because I actually feel like the messages of these media pieces comes across stronger). Queer as Folk is all of those things, plus some really tight writing and excellent symbolism for any literature nerd to salivate over (most shows never use symbolism anymore! Never!) 

In some ways, certain aspects make it very much a product of its time, but in other ways, it’s timeless. It’s really an artistic masterpiece that reminded me of what I love about humanity and life itself, that makes absolutely no apologies for its stance on love as something powerful (another thing missing in modern media: the concept that love wins), that doesn’t give us simple answers for what it means to recover from trauma as individuals and as a society, that doesn’t write literally any single character off as a one-note person who can never change while at the same time acknowledging how hard, long, and winding changing is, and what can and cannot change in a human. 

On a personal note, realizing, after I’d finished the show, its connection to a genuinely traumatic childhood moment that actually, years later, helped me escape me a cult adds another piece of sentimental value. And @our-mathematical-universe​, you were right when you nagged me to watch this over the past few years. 

10/10 

#qaf #queer as folk #queer as folk us #britin #brian kinney #justin taylor #emmett honeycutt #michael novotny #ben bruckner #hunter novotny-bruckner #hunter montgomery #lindsay peterson #melanie marcus #debbie novotny #vic grassi #blake wyzecki #ted schmidt #qaf meta #hamliet reviews #queer as folk meta #britin meta #qaf us #qaf 2000

[3rdbogwitch2theleft]

We're currently in season 2 of our Smallville rewatch (or first in my partner's case) so, largely from memory, here is my ranking of Smallville characters who should have been canonically queer listed on a scale from "Dude it was right there! I cannot fathom why you fumbled the ball here!" to "I mean I get why you didn't, but the subtext was loud". I might change my ranking after we finish the show.

1. First and most egregious we have Tess Mercer.

This woman is a lesbian.

Her second scene in the entire series is a square off with Lois in which Tess waits maybe 15 seconds before asking if Lois is into role play (to be fair, Lois is in a Spirit Halloween style french maid outfit at the time). Their tension remains severely homoerotic throughout the her time on the show.

They pair Tess with Oliver. They pair her with Zod. They give her the hots for Clark and none of it feels the least bit authentic. She is gay. Let this woman be gay.

2. Coming in at a close second is Chloe Sullivan.

Comp het is the only narrative explanation I can think of for why Chloe spent so much time pining for the obviously disinterested Clark when Pete was right there!

(Yes, I know that the actual reason is network demanded the love triangle, but I want an in-universe explanation, damn it)

Don't get me wrong, I remember her relationship to Jimmy being delightful, but "spent my teen years wanting someone who I knew didn't want me" is giving big "closeted and not ready to deal with my sexuality yet" energy.

Also her jacket choices in the early years feel distinctly sapphic to me, a sapphic who lived through this era.

Bonus: she and Lana could have ended up together and driven a stake right through that love triangle from hell.

3. Lois!

Lois is bi. Fight me.

Am I saying this just because I'm in love with her? No, but I'm gonna be real with you, it is a factor. It's just so obvious to me.

Let bygones be bygones and bi gals be bi gals

4. Clark Kent

Am I saying this just because I'm in love with him? No, but I'm gonna be real with you, it is a factor.

As the show went on, they dipped more and more heavily into the "super powers and kryptonite poisoning as queerness allegory" and it's... it's not great. But that's a whole other post. I just think that if you make listen to a character earnestly describe herself as her bestie's "krypto hag" when talking him through an issue he's having with his sex life AND you make your first on screen lesbian a homicidal shape shifter the least you can do is make your allegorically queer main guy actually bisexual.

Let bygones be bygones and bi guys be bi guys

Also it would kinda explain why he looked the other way about Lex's deeeeeply creepy behaviors for so long. He had the same blind loyalty to Lex that he had to Lana. While I do not ship them especially in the early seasons (Clark is a teen and Lex is in early 20s for the first 4 years of the friendship, that's a big nope for me) Clark having a crush on his morally dubious older friend would explain a lot.

Clark, that grown man is bribing a government agent for your mom's medical records. He is not you friend!

5. Lana Lang

I just think it would have been neat. As I mentioned under the Chloe section I would have really liked it if she and Chloe had ended up together.

Also Lana's journey from damsel in distress (that poor kid is in so. much. distress.) to morally complex love interest to superhero in her own right could also have been a really cool exploration of gender identity.

While I know the average TV writer in the 2000s first association the the word "binary" was likely "code" rather than "gender", non-binary Lana Lang would have slapped.

6. Lex Luthor

Lex is the official recipient of the "I completely get why they didn't make this canon, but the subtext was loud" award.

Lex is manipulative, duplicitous, obsessive, and predatory. (In other words, just another billionaire amiright) Making him canonically gay or bi would have reinforced some extremely harmful stereotypes and given how popular the show was in its time, I am very glad they didn't do this.

That said, he's just so obsessed with Clark and he loooves to compare himself to Alexander the Great.

And a season 6 (when everyone is adults) toxic, chaotic Clark/Lana/Lex throuple would have been amazing. The secrets! The betrayals! Certainly beats the canonical Lex/Lana doomed abusive marriage and ride on the ever present Clark/Lana merry-go-round.

Lex also made a clone combining his DNA with Clark's. Fellas....

Honorable mention: Oliver Queen

I don't have a narrative reason.

Maybe the fact that he was paired with first 3 people on this list at different points in the series just gives him a bit of bi/pan 4 bi/pan energy.

I also just think it would have been fun. And I like fun.

#smallville rewatch #the image function was giving me grief so here's a long ass text post for your wednesday night enjoyment #characters that should have been queer #long post

[ragecndybars]

Can I ask what mitsuru hcs do you have?:)

ooh, yeah, I'd love to share some!!! :D here's a couple that I think about the most, lmao

She generally doesn't like being hugged by other people, and she certainly isn't used to it. Though she's always had a loving relationship with her dad, neither of them are particularly physically affectionate. With that said, if someone else is in need of cheering up, and it's an extremely close friend who she feels comfortable around (read: a member of SEES), she'll hug them, and, in that case, she's a really good hugger. (If you can ignore the fact that she runs pretty cold, lmao)

In general, she doesn't have an interest in mechanics or technology, but she does maintain her own bike and she adores that thing. If you asked her to do anything more complicated than changing a tire on a car, she would be dumbfounded, but she can fix pretty much any damage her motorcycle takes on her own.

Speaking of the motorcycle, she drives like a maniac. Just the motorcycle, though. She drives cars very carefully and safely, as one might expect from someone with such a fastidious and serious personality, but once she's on the bike? All bets are off. Anyone who gets onto that bike with her will leave traumatized.

I think she actually tried a few different weapons and fighting styles before settling on fencing as her preferred method of attack. While she genuinely enjoys fencing, she initially picked it up for purely pragmatic reasons--it just suited her best, and she took to it better than the other things she tried.

(I also think that one of the things she tried was archery, and she wasn't very good at it. There's been this fic idea in my head for a long time where she watches Yukari practicing her archery and comments on her skills, mentioning that she isn't very good at archery, and Yukari thinks she's just humblebragging at first, only for Mitsuru to try to take a shot and completely miss the target by like ten feet... and then get all embarrassed because she embarrassed herself in front of her crush friend.)

She loves tea, both for the caffeine and for the flavor. Probably has a collection of super expensive looseleaf teas from all over the world. She is also absolutely one of those people who gets super judgmental when other people add lots of milk/sugar to their tea, even if it's an objectively bitter tea, lmao. She wouldn't say it out loud, because she has tact, but she'll watch someone spoon sugar into a cup of tea and in her head she's screaming "NOOO YOU'RE RUINING THE DELICATE COMPLEXITIES OF THE FLAVOOOOR"

Junpei introduces her to video games and she isn't a huge fan of most of them, but she gets VERY invested in any games where you can rack up some kind of points throughout the game. Introduce her to a farming simulator and she play obsessively until she racks up billions upon billions of dollars. Introduce her to a shooter that tracks your kills throughout the campaign and she will kill EVERYONE. She is insanely competitive when she's only competing against herself.

(Yet she's somehow incredibly chill when it's a multiplayer game.)

In general, she doesn't own too many expensive or ostentatious belongings; she'll only get the expensive version of a thing if it's actually better than the cheap version (ie. she'll splurge on expensive teas imported from China or extremely well-made boots, but if she's just buying a button-up shirt, she'll buy the cheapest one that fits).

With that said, she does own several very expensive genuine leather jackets. She justifies it by saying it's safety equipment for her bike, which isn't wrong, but also she just loves leather jackets.

#Persona 3 #P3 #Mitsuru Kirijo #ask #thanks for the ask!!! this was really fun to answer

[lake-archive]

Oversleeping

I had this in mind for a little while... So uh... Yeah, not much to it except a self indulgent fic again. I will try to write Enstars still (especially the long fics) but... So many ideas for HypMic I want to start working on now... Let's see how long that last actually.

Fandom: Ensemble Stars

Characters: Ritsu Sakuma, Anja-Sophia 'Ann' Wolff (OC) 

Pairing: Ritsann (Ritsu/Ann) (Romantic, Established)

Words: 977

“TOO LATE! WAY TOO LATE! HURRYING!”

The sudden scream would ensure that anyone who had not woken up yet in that tiny apartment complex would wake up, it was that loud. Or at the very least the sudden yell had made Ritsu’s ears somewhat shake, his head nearly hurting as the words were wandering from one ear to the next. Worse was that he was probably the closest. Yet to make matters even worse the blanket had been thrown off and he had made the mistake that he had been letting go of Ann, thus them getting up in one one swoop after yelling, then running around the small room in an audible panic, the steps loud yet chaotic. 

“Late? To what?” Ritsu whined, half asleep sounding as he was trying to lift himself up, trying to somewhat sit. And yet he fell back onto the pillow, right onto the futon, squeezing one of his cheeks against it. And while it was unintentionally he was not going to complain, the pillow itself was super soft. He found himself nuzzling into it as well, even if ever so slightly. Much to his luck it was still smelling so nice. A Camelia scent, he loved it in his nose. Maybe because it was his girlfriend’s scent, usually a fresh one. Maybe the advantage when someone takes a shower in the evening and then goes to bed. He was so close to falling asleep on it yet again while nuzzling, even chuckling to himself. Honestly he could just doze off for the day… And yet it would not come to that, he had little choice.

Because before he could drift to sleep again he was suddenly lifted up by the shoulders (much to his annoyance), just barely spotting Ann shaking him over and over. “Oi Ritsu, you can’t!” She almost shouted, making it impossible to fall asleep now. 

“Guh… Ann–Chan is being mean~” Was all he could muster to respond, all drowsy. “Sleepy~”

“Ah— I… I understand but… Well… Work! You too, right!?”

“Could be…”

“Could!? It’s 7:30!”

“Evening?”

“Morning!”

Ritsu blinked a few times when hearing that, next spotting her pale and somewhat worried expression, though taking his sweet time to register that. Seriously he was way too sleepy for that now, he didn’t even think properly before speaking. “Uh… Then let’s sleep more.” 

“We can’t! Please, try get up and heading to work!” Ann tried to reason with him as she continued to shake him, perhaps trying to wake him up that way. And yet, his head would be spinning instead, making him only want to lay down even more. This was too much at once and now his mind was truly drawing blank after blank.

“Ritsu? Ritsu!?”

“Uh… A moment… I wanna… Just… Just…” And for a short moment he felt a little forward, clinging onto the young woman yet again and snoozing for a few more minutes.

It took a little while for Ritsu to wake up once more yet when he did he was urged by Ann to get ready, much to his annoyance. And yet he was feeling at least slightly more awake, enough to do as told and both left the house shortly after. And yet, it did not make him pout any less when both had left the one room apartment, not exactly pleased about this awakening. Ann could be really pushy if she wanted to be. 

“Can’t we just skip out for the day?” He had even asked, the pout on his face only becoming more visible when thinking about it. The mere consideration that the two could be in bed right now, sleep cuddling in peace without a worry in the world… But no, this had to happen. Of course it had to. Hah, work is work, sure, but he was just not in the mood. Especially after such a rude awakening… Twice… In a row. So he wasn’t being completely rational right now.

“No! Can’t afford it.” She responded, as stubborn as ever, as uptight as ever. In his mind it was just not fair. Even if he should know better probably… And maybe he did, he was just unwilling at the moment. 

“Can’t afford it? I think you owe me.” He countered, the cheeks in his face only becoming more bloated by then. 

“Owe? That—”

Yet before she could say another word he decided to go for a quick attack on her, grabbing one of her arms and wrapping his own around, clinging onto her as a result. He may as well just glue himself onto her to be honest, given he was doing this quite a few times. Sure, it was not as good as laying next to her and nuzzling and cuddling but it had to do for now. “I’ll just do this while I can.”

“Eh!? Ritsu, people might—”

“Don’t care~”

This seemed to cut her off, him knowing that she had gone silent all of a sudden. One quick glance to the side and he could spot her faint blush, though trying so hard to hold it back to be taken seriously. It got him to calm down at least a little, finding it more funny that Ann was trying so hard. She always was. Honestly, in such instances it was hard to take her seriously, it was almost ironic. And even then, that didn’t make it any less fun for him. It was always an amusing sight. Though even then—

“Don’t care? But—”

“No buts, let’s just walk. I will make you pay properly later.” He interrupted, not wanting to hear any excuses at this point. They were stuttering by then and yet had no way of talking back. Eventually they would just give up because… Well, she knows what’s coming. That’s what you get for waking up Ritsu from his slumbering.

#NImue's Lake #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #oneshot #ensemble stars fanfiction #ensemble stars fanfic #ensemble stars fic #ensemble stars #enstars #enstars fanfiction #enstars fanfic #enstars fic #selfship fanfiction #selfship fanfic #selfship fic #self ship fanfiction #self ship fanfic #self ship fic #ritsu sakuma #sakuma ritsu #enstars ritsu #ensemble stars oc #enstars oc #ritsann

[shy-peacock]

A lil fic where Namaari gets sick and Raya takes care of her because some soft moments are necessary in these trying times ❤️

Just a funny/short snippet- not ideally sick but injured??? (maybe in-canon, maybe not) edit- I also know nothing about concussions but the brief moments I had one.

Raya expects Chau to get hurt.

It was his ‘thing’, despite it being a very unusual ‘thing’ to have. He was the clumsy, uncoordinated one of them all. The kid that was always falling flat on his face, only to pick himself up again and take off on a full sprint. Safe to say, it was a miracle he even made it to the age of seventeen. Raya had a fully stocked first aid kit in several tucked away corners of the house, her car and plenty in her office at the Sisudatu.

So when a grunt echoed out through their backyard, commotion rising, the family frantically rushing inside; it was any wonder that Raya was caught off guard when Chau wasn’t the one who walked in with a knot on his head-..but her wife, Namaari.

“I need every specialist on the floor, now!” Virana screeched as she stormed back and forth across the hospital hallway, barking orders at the nurses and doctors to come help ‘save her child’. Said "child" sitting up, completely fine, leaned into Raya’s embrace as she held an ice pack against her forehead. Icing the large bump there, as well as covering the tiny yet deep gash across it. All of them awaiting the doctor, who would be arriving momentarily to patch her up.

Large emphasis on ‘everyone’.

“Dammit, Raya-..you had us thinking Namaari was dying!” Boun grumbled, arms folded as he and Tong sat back against the wall. The young man pouted much like he did in his younger days, “we almost ran someone over trying to get here!”

“I didn’t say she was dying- Boun!” Raya snapped back, “I said, she was bleeding heavily from her head and that we had to get her to the hospital-!”

“I’m actually fine-” Namaari commented, “really-”

“You really aren’t though, Namaari.” Benja chuckled then, sitting in a chair off to the right of the hospital bed where Namaari was. Sisu at the chair next to him, his grandchildren Chau and Linh piled around him, sitting on the armchairs.

“Regardless-...Raya,  you couldn’t think of any other way to say that-!?” Tong growled, “we were in the middle of a campaign-”

“A campaign…?” Sisu perked up, confused.

“Yes, basically it’s a sophisticated, complex tournament of the-” Tong began, cut short by Linh as she leaned over and spoke to Sisu. Loud enough for all of them to hear.

“It’s literally a board game for nerds..” 

“EXCUSE- me…!” Boun huffed, “we are not nerds-...we are the Knights of Eterna..the greatest land of-”

Linh waved her hand, motioning towards them, a mischevious smile on her lips, “I rest my case…nerds”

“That’s not true.” Chau added, “I play it with them all the time-..it’s super fun.". He turned to Sisu then, wanting to convince her most. "Noi even plays it sometimes-" he added, mentioning the only one of them that wasn't here. Both her and even Atitaya on vacation, though different ones with their own families.

Linh rolled her eyes at her brother, “you’re only making my argument more valid…”

“Okay, Chau…Linh-...everyone,” Raya stated, giving them all a look as they tried to argue again, “my bad for not being more specific, but now that you’re all here-..I don’t think we need to make Namaari’s concussion worse by yelling-”

“Yeah, Linh..if Mom dies that’s on you.” Chau teased, nudging his sister with his elbow, “don’t make it worse.”

Linh scrunched her nose up at Chau, fire in her eyes. Clearly feeling bad for the very reason Namaari was in the hospital at the moment. The two practicing her swing in softball, Namaari pitching her the ball while Linh hit it across the yard. Only practicing, not actually knocking it out of the park! Which is what Linh did apparently, too eager to show off her moves, the ball flying straight into Namaari’s head. Knocking her out cold.

“Chau, did Mom ever tell you that you’re adopted?” she said, cocking her head to side in a mocking manner.

Chau's eyebrows knitted together, mouth falling open.

“I am not-!?”

“Sure you are, do you really think your FAT head could come out of Mom’s-”

“Linh.” Raya warned, looking at them both, “and Chau, stop.”

“Yes, Mother- listen to.” Namaari piped, randomly, her voice…off. “Grounded you are.”

A pause, noting the oddness of her words.

“Well-...Namaari’s hit yoda-style speaking,” Boun commented, “it’s all downhill from here.”

“Wait-...seriously!?” Sisu shrieked, “is she gonna die!?”

“Now, now-...don’t jump to conclusions-” Benja laughed.

“I’m fine-...so fine-.” Namaari laughed, sounding delirious then, making the matter worse as the room exploded into conversation and panic. One side freaking out that she actually wasn’t okay, the other trying to convince them that she was fine. Loud, their voices collaborating into one giant sound. Going on and on until-

“Er…excuse me…” a single voice chimed in, silencing them all in one single comment. The group turned, seeing an elderly woman standing in the doorway, a lab coat on and a smile on her lips. Virana, exhausted out of her mind, at her side. Looking as though she had raced all the way across Kumandra and back for the doctor before them. “If you wouldn’t mind…I’m Doctor Fa, if everyone could exit to the visiting area so I can fix up my patient-..everyone of course, but the wife- Leader Raya.” she chirped quite cheerfully, “please and thank you!”

~~~~~~~~~~~

“You think it’s gonna leave a scar, Mom?” Chau asked, pushing her wheelchair along as they left the back room then for the lobby to checkout.

Namaari now all patched up, on some medication for the pain, and ready to go. Doctor cleared her so long as she stayed up through the night, was checked on regularly, and brought back if her condition worsens. She had a concussion, as expected, but she would be fine once the swelling went down. Stitches in, prompting Chau to question the aftereffects of Namaari’s injury.

“I wonder what shape it’ll be…” he contemplated out loud, gasping then, “OH MY GOD-...you could be like HARRY POTTER!?” 

Namaari snorted, touching the wrap on her head, wincing slightly as it was still tender. Raya swatting at her hand playfully as she did, giving her a stern look all the same.

“Don’t touch it-” she scolded, “Chau, keep an eye on your Mom while I check her out- make sure she doesn’t fall asleep…or stand up-”

“Raya, I can walk-.” Namaari assured her, earning her a kiss against her cheek from her wife. 

“Yes, we know-..and like I told you…three times now, dep la-...Doctor Fa said take it easy and insisted you relax.” she reminded her, “now stay put my love, Chau keep talking to her.”

“You know, Mom- speaking of wizards and stuff…what house do you think I would belong in- I mean, I like the color green but do you really think I belong in Slytherin?- Cause in my opinion I’d assume I should-” Chau began, his voice growing fainter as Raya walked to the front desk. Signing papers, release forms, silently. Happy that the chaos of this day was soon behind them, even though they had a long night ahead of them. 

Raya thought she had come alone, only to turn and find Linh at her side. Speaking then to the lady at the front desk. 

“Hi, I’m sorry to interrupt you.” she said in an incredibly sweet voice, all proper as she had learned from not only them but from her Grandmother, Virana. Especially around the councils. “I wanted to know about your return policy…?” she asked, dead serious.

“The…return policy..?” the nurse replied, confused.

“Yes, he’s about seventeen years-..” she responded, “I think we had a mix-up at the hospital-...”

At first, Raya was confused, then it hit her.

Oh my God-...

Raya realized what she was saying.

“Not funny, Linh” Raya stated.

Linh pressed back a smile, “worth a shot though-?”

“Sorry-..she doesn’t get out much-..” Raya sighed, forcing a smile at the nurse as she turned her daughter around to leave.

Grateful to be on their way home, done with the hospital.

(for now...)

#rayamaari #rayaari #raymaari #raya x namaari #namaari x raya #oc:chau #oc:linh #surviving kumandra city #SKC universe #ratld #ratld au

[scoopsgf]

ok the new installment of wuib might be my favorite yet holy crap you are too talented!! ok what can you tell us about the relationships between all of the baby gilmores as they get older?? obvs joey and teddy but also leo and willow (whom i adore already omg) and any combination of the four of them? also throw in lanes twins while we’re at it! Gilmore Girls: The Next Generation (now with boys!)

omg omg thank you so much!! also yesss okay so i covered joe and teddy but: joe and willow are literally opposites and argue a ton about just about everything, but they also care about each other so much (tho they refuse to admit it out loud). joe resents willow for complex reasons—she’s too “feminine” and so they don’t have similar interests and can’t rlly roughhouse together (ofc that doesn’t stop either of them from pulling hair and literally wrestling when they fight bc they’re both unhinged); willow and jess are as close as joey and jess are (tho sort of in different ways), so joey gets a little territorial and kinda competitive in that sense; willow also performs better academically and even tho joe doesn’t care much about grades or anything she’s still bugged by it, esp bc will is also so great with ballet. joe feels like she doesn’t quite measure up and that her parents are secretly disappointed in her for not being as dedicated to school or an extracurricular like will.

teddy and will are literally besties. will doesn’t treat teddy like he’s fragile and he loves that. they never really fight unless it’s about something super serious, they have inside jokes, they share earbuds on the subway when they’re headed to school (and when they’re smaller will always holds teddy’s hand when they cross streets). they watch crappy reality TV shows together (tho joe usually does join in on that too actually). they’re both just people pleasers like rory and so they’re super mellow around each other.

as far as leo goes, he’s super active and talks a mile a minute, so he and joe tend to get along best. he’s someone she can run around with, who doesn’t cry over scraped knees or shy away from climbing all over everything. leo and teddy are kind of different in the same way that joe and will are—teddy is a little softer, is less inclined to wanna play sports or talk about baseball (which leo is super into). they get along and have sleepovers and everything, but as they get older those differences become way more apparent, and hiding in a pillow fort watching the lion king can’t bridge the divide anymore.

as far as steve and kwan go, they’re super adaptable and chill. steve and teddy get along a lot bc they’re both into classical music (steve plays the flute, teddy plays piano). kwan is more into athletics, so he and leo and joe are literally three peas in a pod. i love them all soooooo much

#asks #orlamcsupercool #paul anka au tag

[vergess]

i'm getting back into his dark materials recently, and it's bumping up against my love of ffxiv, so what do you think the scions (or any other characters you're partial to) would have as their daemons? how about your wol?

Nyeheheee, okay, I haven't considered this extensively but I have considered it.

Obviously, I'm a Thancred Has A Wolf Daemon truther. He has all the common traits. Childhood trauma. Comfort with violence. Extreme loyalty to his perceived family/crew/pack.

Minfilia I think is a pink-headed duck, for two reasons. 1) There's a common myth that a duck quack doesn't echo, but actually, a duck's quack consumes its own echo because of the way the soundwaves oscillate, such that a quack is equal parts call and echo. 2) The pink headed duck was recently declared extinct, much like our girl.

Yda I think has a Small Indian Mongoose that she passes off as an Indian Grey Mongoose when people ask if her daemon has changed due to the trauma of the Calamity. "Oh, no, no, everyone just always thinks he's larger than he actually is, big personality and all that!!" Mongoose are very good fighters, and not to be a Taako Taaco stan on main, but they are also very good at not being poisoned by long term exposure to unbelievable toxicity. Getting to calll him by his proper name and species during Stormblood is a whole Character Arc for her.

Papalymo has a grass snake of unusually large (though not unheard of) size, much too large to wrap around his lalafell sized staff. Because of her extremely large size, she resembles an Aesculapian snake, but she's just a common grass snake.

Y'shtola has an aquatic fairy wasp, which is 1) A wasp, 2) one of the smallest insects int he world, 3) Swims underwater with its little wings 4) Is literally too small to break surface tension and has to climb out of water on grass stems instead, much like a certain someone can never escape the spectre of her first familiar lmao. Also, I just think Y'shtola having a near microscopic daemon is really funny. Like, they definitely used to pretend she was a witch and that her daemon was Out On Errands to torment people when they were younger by having her daemon just hide in her ear or something. The fact that post Shadowbringers she actually is a witch whose daemon has been Separated is actively fucking hilarious in this context.

Urianger has an Indigo Bunting, which is a) super brightly colored and showy in spite of Urianger's best efforts to be a secretive little bitch, b) outstandingly loud, and c) uses stellar navigation during its migrations, as a foreshadowing of his class change from ACN to AST. Also, they're same-sexed. Which is to say, his daemon has the bright ultra-blue feathers of male buntings. However, unlike Urianger, his daemon is probably a they/them type of bitch.

Tataru has a Tunisian Ant. Tunisian ants are pretty famous for being the best mathematicians in the animal world, able to compute complex trigonometry to navigate by counting the steps they took leaving their nest, adjusting their travel angle relative to the sun, and making a direct line back to the nest with their food. More importantly, however, this little bastards have some of the strongest sense of smell in the world. These little fellas can scent a good deal (food) from 17,000x their body size away, and they smell in 3D since they have two olfactory organs (antennae) compared the humanity's paltry single nose.

Krile has a golden parakeet. This is almost entirely because it's as obnoxiously yellow as she is, but it's also a little bit because parakeets along with other parrots are pretty famously intelligent, yet easily startled. The golden parakeet in particular is also almost hyper social, which I think blends well with Krile's adorably youthful faith in social systems.

Estinien has a draco volans, the common flying dragon lizard. This is both because I cannot resist a shitty pun, and because of real actual reasons such as: --the flying lizard has a ludicrous jump distance do to its gliding abilities, travelling 100x its body length; --although they are relatively anti-social and dislike loud environments, they are also perfectly happy to kill kill murder kill, with even the relatively more docile females having a vicious territorialism during mating and hatching seasons; --in spite of this, female dracos are free-travelling and wide ranging; --dracos will spend their whole lives never touching the ground if they can at all avoid it.

G'raha has an obnoxiously sociable little Corgi dog who not only talks to other daemons, but will chipperly chime into conversations between people as well. They wear matching outfits. It's unbearable. They're so saccharine. This is because when they woke up in the Bad Timeline, and Raha had to go to the first, his daemon didn't make it across the void. Unlike the scions, whose daemons fell asleep alongside them, it was presumed that Raha's daemon had dissipated. He had physically moved to the first like the WoL did, yet his daemon was missing. The combination of physical pain from the sudden separation and magical disturbance from bonding with the tower seemed to support this. In actuality, his daemon was doing exactly the same thing: sleeping next to source!G'raha in the Allagan stasis chamber. Being forced to assume your soul is dead and that you've only been kept alive through your own hubris for a couple centuries really does a Trauma on a bitch. After the two Raha's memories blended, Raha's daemon is critical in keeping source!Raha from being completely subsumed by the Exarch's greater age, power, and trauma.

The Twins are almost painfully easy. See. There's these two kinds of monkey. The blue monkey, and the red tailed monkey. Though monkeys are generally territorial bastards who hate not just other family groups of the same species, but other nearby species as well, this pair are pretty well known for travelling and even living in mixed species groups of blue and red. I mean. Aside from the fact that monkey daemons are associated with highly self-actualized and intelligent people, especially those with political goals. They're literally color coded for the twins. I almost feel bad giving them matching ones, but how can I possibly deny this simple fact?

If that's a disappointment, I also considered having an Oxpecker bird for Alisaie, and a horseshoe crab for Alphinaud.

The Oxpecker is a bird quite famous for its mutualistic relationship with large mammals, where it will eat parasites off their hides/wounds, and alert them to the approach of poachers. However, it's no longer considered a mutualist relationship but rather a parasitic one, because when 'grooming' its host mammal, the bird gives exactly 0 fucks about the mammal's safety, and will happily widen and worsen injuries to get to the food. This matches welll with Alisaie's extreme temperament and tendency to consider harm in the name of her goal an acceptable cost, even while she's still a broadly very caring and maternal character.

The horseshoe crab meanwhile is famous for its armored shell and its value as a source of medical components, which is a great choice for a dear sweet boy who gave up being a shield healer so he could be another shield healer.

As for WoLs. My WoL has a dwarf pea puffer, the smallest breed of pufferfish. They are tiny, territorial, and like to investigate things. Also, they can puff which is just very funny to watch even though it's, y'know, a stress reaction and shouldn't be considered cute or desirable. Oh my god but it's very funny though.

Lastly, I firmly believe that the ~Official WoL~ or default WoL or whatever people call him, the guy from the trailers, has a humaniform daemon and also it's Ardbert.

Ardert is the WoL's daemon.

#daemonology #ffxiv #ffxiv spoilers

[pink-pages]

Soul of the Sword

AAAAHHHH!!! That was my immediate reaction upon finishing this book. I was a little bit apprehensive since I loved the first one so much that perhaps this one wouldn't be quite up to that level. I was wrong. The last few chapters had me literally squealing and commenting out loud in my college's cafeteria. People were just enjoying their food and then all of a sudden you hear me go like "you did not just kill the dog!" and they're looking at me like

Anyways, I have so many opinions on this book that I have no idea where to begin. The same things about Kagawa’s descriptions and writing style that I said about Shadow of the Fox hold up for this book too. I also LOVED getting to see more types of Yokai and spirits. The illusion magic Yumeko did in this book was super cool and badass and the final battle at the end had my emotions going crazy like “wait, what just happened?” “HOLY SHIT DID HE JUST DIE?!” “Oh, no he’s still alive, thank god” “NO NO NO NO NO!!”

To be quite honest, I found the romance a bit cheesy (honestly almost everything that comes out of Daisuke’s mouth is flowery enough to put Shakespeare to shame). That didn’t mean that I didn’t completely eat it up though. I was just sitting there like “this is so cringey, give me MORE!!” The cheese was, in a way, kind of refreshing actually. I’ve gotten so used to reading about romances that are, like, 95% angst. A fluffier one was a bit of a treat. Also, KAGAWA PUT A ROMANCE BETWEEN SECONDARY MAIN CHARACTERS IN THE FOREFRONT!!! I feel like so many times beta couples (as tvtropes.org calls them) get kind of shoved aside in order to build up the main pairing. Soul of the Sword manages to build both romances while still having the Okame-Daisuke (Daikame? Okasuke?) romance being the main focus instead of the Tatsumi-Yumeko (Tatsuko? Yumesumi?) romance. Then there's poor Reika who's got to deal with trying to save the world and keeping everyone else else from acting like a bunch of lovestruck idiots. The thing I loved the most about the way the romances were written in this book was that it didn't overshadow the adventure. Instead of being a romance book with adventure in it, it was an adventure book with some romances.

Oooh, ok, I also need to talk about Hakaimono. I loved getting to see chapters from his point of view. The characterization of Hakaimono was awesome. He's a demon but instead of falling into that "demons are all simply evil incarnate" trap, Kagawa gives Hakaimono his own individual personality and goals. As Hakaimono himself puts it, he is more of a refined demon than, say, Yaburama. He's not trying to cause as much chaos and bloodshed as possible like the rest of the demons and Yokai in Genno's entourage. Hakaimono is in the business of revenge, he has a more complex goal and motive.

Characters

Yumeko: I loved the way her character developed. Yumeko's magic and fighting skills increased, as did her confidence in them, but she kept her relative naiveté when it came to social interactions. No matter how much magic she learned and how badass she became, she still took every sarcastic comment Okame made literally. Honestly, I found this character development to be really accurate because Yumeko is using her fighting and magic skills. She is not, however, interacting with many people outside her little group of misfits. Yumeko's character is honestly one of the more relatable literary heroines to me. Her reaction to either Daisuke or Okame's dream (I'm guessing it was Okame's for reasons I will explain later) was so fucking relatable. The other thing I loved about Yumeko is that she’s one of those rare heroines who I can’t imagine sitting on a rock in a garden somewhere picking petals off of flowers and muttering “he loves me, he loves me not.” She just seems to spend a lot more of her free time having fun and messing around than angsting about the state of her love life.

Tatsumi: I didn’t see much of him in this book, I’m guessing it probably had something to do with his soul being trapped in a psychological prison by a demon. Anyways, when we did see Tatsumi peek out it was honestly kind of heartbreaking. As terrible as it is that Tatsumi’s body wound up being hijacked by Hakaimono, I did appreciate the fact that that allowed me to see more about Tatsumi’s true character than I learned in the first book. When Tatsumi‘s soul peaked out, like when Yumeko met him in the dream realm and when she possessed his body too, he was actually feeling something. Yeah, his hopelessness was upsetting to read about, but we got to see his true self without him pushing down all his emotions.

Okame: The dude really shone in this book. We finally got to see some backstory on him, that his brother is dead, and it seems to have been extremely important in shaping Okame’s personality. It also puts a whole different perspective on things. It seems like Okame blames himself for his brother’s death and now I can’t stop mentally comparing him to Matthew Fairchild (from The Last Hours, which you need to read if you haven’t already). Now his carefree “let’s do ill-advised shit cause it’s fun” attitude seems more like an attempt to ease his guilt by either making him forget what happened or punishing himself for it. I also said earlier that I thought the Kdrama dream Yumeko stumbled into was Okame's and I think that's because the class gap was mentioned in the dream and Okame was the one to bring up the class gap in the scene with the flute (that Yumeko spied on again because she's a whole-ass mood). I think despite Okame's confident attitude, he's got a really low opinion of himself. It seems to me that he brings up the "honourless Ronin dog" thing because if he owns it, that means it can't be used as an insult against him. Okame just really needs that reassurance from Daisuke that he's good enough.

Reika: Dear Lord, Reika! She's quickly rising up my list of favorite characters. I've noticed that usually in YA books, all the characters are tangled up in some kind of romance and when they're not, it's usually a boy who's the third, fifth, or seventh wheel for example TJ in the Magnus Chase series or Leo in the Heroes of Olympus, (ok, so maybe it's just a Rick Riordan thing). Still, I love that they have a female main character who's voluntarily an anti-romantic (*cackles in MOA*). She's just an unbothered queen (but at the same time she's always bothered by the boys and Yumeko's shenanigans). It seems like nothing can rattle her and even when she discusses her worries about the plan with Yumeko and we see that she is actually worried, she still manages to keep her composure in almost every situation they're in. I'm lowkey getting Professor McGonogall vibes from her and I love it.

Daisuke: Alrighty, here we go. My favorite of the core five. I think I’ve figured out why I love him so much. My favorite book character of all time is Jem Carstairs from The Infernal Devices and Daisuke honestly reminds me of him a bit. Both characters have silver hair and can be described as “nothing but kindness” (in Tessa’s words). This makes me a bit nervous though cause Cassandra Clare liked to pick on Jem and now I’m terrified Julie Kagawa’s gonna take a page out of her book (so to speak) and pick on the sweet silver boy. He also just seems way too excited to die an honorable death in battle. I’ll admit, he doesn’t seem to have as much character development as Okame, Yumeko, and Tatsumi, but hey, it’s kind of hard to improve upon perfection. I’m sorry, I just love this man with all my heart, thank you and goodbye.

Suki: This girl (ghost) is massively relatable. I, too, am hopelessly in love with Daisuke. Anyways, moving on, I don’t have any particularly strong feelings about her, but I will say that she turned out to be far more important than I thought she’d be. I mean without her, the main characters would be dead about a thousand times over.

Seigetsu: I don’t trust the man.

Taka: Look, I know he’s not as important as a lot of the other characters but I just had to mention him. Seriously, that kid is adorable. Like, I wanna scoop him up, wrap him in blankets, and protect him from everything wrong in the world. He’s just such a sweet and innocent baby and part of my disdain for Seigetsu is because he keeps using Taka’s abilities to look into the future even though it seems to hurt Taka.

#Soul of the Sword #julie kagawa #book review #bookworm

[jaeminscoffee]

Daddy Issues | S. Jn

Pairing | Seo Johnny x Fem!Reader

Genre | Smut, fluff

Wc;type | oneshot: 3.93k [not proof read]

Warning(s) | Pwp, dilf!johnny, y/n's a pillow princess, daddy kink, overstimulation, teasing, edging, dacryphilia, slight voyeurism, degradation kink, heavy use of the words 'doll, princess, slut, pretty, angel', typical lyra smut, i made haechan johnny's son (i was about to write changbin as johnny's son but decided against it) age gap, unprotected sex ( the Reader's on pills. Remember this is a fiction, don't play the wrong card irl) filth.

a/n- i found this request buried in my asks and was tempted to write it. Sure, the warning looks intimidating, but i know you wanna read it, y'all whores (ily) shoutout to @bakugou-is-my-bae @cvntzennie and @jenopollo for helping me decide what to post first! @suhpersonic

Minors try not to interact! <3

Age is just a number, so surely, there's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of, right? 

There's no reason for you to not fall for the friendly neighborhood bachelor, well not so bachelor bachelor, since he does go around asking people who knows of his marriage to pretend it never took place. 

Johnny's hot, super hot. Has the build of a supermodel. Has the face that one can only imagine belongs to a greek god, as you'd jokingly tell him how he seemed to be god's favorite and how you loathe Aphrodite for showing favoritism (which would always end up with you getting a very sultry, teasing look from the lad) 

Johnny has the type of personality that women can only wish the entirety of the male species would possess. He's an absolute sweetheart, life of the party, definitely the center of attention wherever he goes. And oh god, does he have an immaculate fashion sense. 

But Johnny's also the father of Donghyuck. Your best friend. 

More than being ashamed about the fact that you actually fell in love with a man who has a child of your age, it was the fact that you had to fall for Donghyuck's father of all people. 

Donghyuck is a sweetheart, definitely got his personality from his father but he's also got that glare that could creep the Lord's of the darkness from his father. He's got so much from his father that the resemblance is uncanny. 

You'd not want to get onto hyuck's bad side since you've gotten first hand experience at stopping him from almost committing homicide to someone who spoke shit about his friends, more specifically, you. 

But Hyuck's not in town. So a little fun with Mr. Suh wouldn't hurt anyone, correct? After all, you're still only a human with desires and the want to take risks. 

You'd always not so subtly drop hints at Johnny and he'd always give you that look that would have slick collecting itself between your thighs. A warning look. 

A look that said, "cross the line and you'll get it" 

But that's the thing, you want to get it and will do anything to get it.

"Y/n." 

You'd ask yourself less than a million times if you want to do this or not.

Sure, you weren't this hesitant when you decided to sext your best friend's father knowingly when he was in business mode to irk him up but that's one thing. 

And having to confront the same father who left a message smaller than a sentence that completely disregarded all the obscene text and images to show that he's not the slightest bothered or suprised by your behavior for that matter was another thing.

"Tomorrow at mine." 

It's almost as though he deals with hormonal teenagers one as such as yourself on a daily basis and that thought kind of backfired at you considering the whole 'Let's piss Johnny off so that he'd finally give me what i want' agenda. 

Ironic, huh? 

"Mr. Suh." you start hesitantly, unsure of what to call him, scared of what his reaction would be after your inappropriate shenanigans last night. 

Your stiff demeanor broke down a little with just a hint of shiver passing down your spine as you watch his features contort into a subtle but cocky smirk, "So now you're being all formal,"

"Well, what else would you like me to address you as?" you inquire, feigning oblivion to his tone and what he's implying at. "You tell me, doll. You seemed to have a lot of names to call me last night," he takes a step forward, prompting you to walk a step backwards, further into the corridors of his apartment and away from the actual location. 

"I do not know what you're talking about.. " you let your voice shrivel towards the end, eyes wandering around the complex, finding interest in every small detail as you avoid Johnny's teasing gaze. 

"You don't?" Johnny takes another step forward, latching his hands onto your forearms to prevent you from stepping further away, "You must have had a heavy sleep to forget all that you did last night," his voice drops dangerously low as he begins to walk backwards and back into the safety of his apartment, all the while keeping his gaze fixated on you.

"That won't do, would it? How about we take a walk down the memory lane? And see if that rings any bell?" He brushes your hair away from its static position on your shoulder, allowing him to appreciate all those fine details of your shoulders and neck that are exposed from your selection of clothing, an off shoulder. 

"How about we don't...?" You ask with skepticism, jolting slightly when you hear the door shut behind you and at the new intrusion of personal space by the lad.

"Why are you acting all shy now, Y/n? Weren't you the one so eager to get into her best friend's fathers pants? Just be the whore you are, darling. Your facade's fooling no one." okay you definitely didn't see that coming. 

Johnny's expressions morph into that of mischief as he watches your eyes grow wide and mouth fall ajar, "Am i not correct? Are you not a whore?" he asks with an eyebrow quirked up in a questioning manner.

You don't reply, almost as though the question was meant to linger in the open and that it was a rhetorical one. What you didn't expect, however, was for Johnny's hands to find pursuit around your neck, not necessarily applying pressure, but there as a warning. 

"Answer me." 

"I'm not.." you answer with a feeble voice, internally cringing at how squeaky you sound which only added to Johnny's amusement. 

"Really? Because I don't think good girls go around drooling at a divorced man, her friend's father for that matter and definitely do not send lewd images and voice out their fantasies to a guy twice their age, still want to pretend you're innocent? Or you admit it and we cut down the chase?"

"Yes, I am." you breathe out when his fingers tighten around your neck, a triumphant smile making its way onto his lips. Yet, Johnny felt the need to keep pushing,

"you're what?" 

"I am what you said I am," you speak, trying to avoid looking at the scrutinizing look on his face which seemed futile as he had his arms wrapped around your neck, keeping your head in place. 

"I want to hear you say it, doll. I need to hear you say it." At this point Johnny's intent was to get you into a flustered puddle in his hold and it sure as hell was going in that direction, seeing how you can't even hold his gaze for more than a few seconds in a shot. 

"I am.. I am a who-"

The sound of a phone ringing loud cut you off midway through your sentence, to which you were absolutely relieved. Johnny only seemed to grow annoyed the more he heard the phone ring. With a loud huff, he lets you go, not before giving you a stern look, "Go to my room." he instructed, making his way to the study. 

You let out a breath you've been holding in unknowingly the moment he steps away from you. You watch his figure retreat from you with awe, only now realizing how messy you felt between your legs and how your knees keep buckling. 

"Oh Hyuck!" you hear Johnny exclaim into the phone the minute you step forward to follow his command. 

Your best friend is on call with the guy you're about to fuck. 

Your blood runs cold as you shakily make your way into the apartment and towards the bedroom, shrugging off your sling bag, hanging it behind the door as you place your phone on the bedside table to wipe your hands dry from all the sweat that had accumulated at the palm of your hands. 

"Yeah, I'm fine, about to eat to my dinner actually" you hear the moment to make yourself comfortable at the edge of the bed, looking over to the door where Johnny stood with his arms across his chest, the other holding up the phone as he leans his weight onto one shoulder, leaning into the doorframe.

You take the time to really appreciate his appearance. He adorned nothing more than a simple grey sweat and tight black tee but he seemed ready to walk down a runway at any given moment now. His long hair, slightly disheveled looking almost intentionally messed up, compliments his features. And oh his features. 

The everlasting smirk stayed still on his lips, moving as he exchanged words with his son.

You only come back to your senses when Johnny snapped his free hand in front of you, gaining your attention. He points at his own shirt, then points at you, mouthing 'off' while he listens to Donghyuck speak about whatever he's speaking. 

"Really? Jeno said that? Tell him I'm more than willing to welcome him as my gym partner, the lad seems strong" Johnny makes a quick move to remove the gadget from his ear, before holding it in front of him after placing the call on speaker mode 

Your eyes widen the moment you hear the disturbance in the background and Donghyuck's voice resonate through the room. "no?? Why would you want to work out with him? He'll only make you feel old, you know?" 

"Says the one who still can't beat me at arm wrestling. If anything, i think Jeno would make the perfect gym buddy for me," Johnny raises an eyebrow at your defiance, cocking his head towards the side, staring down at you with a predatory look, "Hyuck, you know, Y/n-" you scramble to take your shirt off at the mention of your name on the call, "-stopped by earlier" he lets out a silent laugh of disbelief.

"Oh? Oh yeah! I'd told her I'd give her book back before I left but I forgot, did you perhaps give it back to her?" Donghyuck questions. 

"I figured you must've forgotten so, yeah i did." Johnny replies, pushing himself off of the doorframe, now walking towards you. 

"Man, I miss her! I might facetime her after I end the call with you," Johnny sets down the phone beside you on the bed, leaning down, placing both his hands on either side of your lap, finding comfort at the crook of your neck,

"I remember her mentioning something about her cousin coming over? Maybe wait for an hour or so before calling her" his lips graze against your neck each time he spoke, you let out a tiny whimper at the so longed feeling, only to earn yourself a small bite at the earlobe, immediately accompanied by a hand over your mouth, "you need to be quiet, doll. Or my son would find out how much of a slut his best friend is," he whispers in your ear. 

"Yeah? Did she mention which one?" 

"No, not really, she kinda just stormed out after getting what she wanted" Johnny creates a trail of kisses all the way from your neck to your shoulders, down the collarbone while one of his hand worked to unhook your bra, "Yeah, she's weird like that," you hear Donghyuck let out a chuckle as you whine into Johnny's palm, your figure slightly trembling from the fear of getting caught all the while being excited about the risky situation he's put the two of you in. 

"Anyways, I'll call you tomorrow? The boys are coming over now so I got to go! Night, dad!" Donghyuck speaks up again, "Night, Hyuck." 

You hear the beep indicating the call has ended. Johnny let's his hand drop from your mouth and makes its way towards your hair, brushing through the strands before pulling at it with a firm grip, "I had my son on call and here you are making all these sweet noises, you wanted to get busted, doll?" 

"It's not my fault! You-"

"ah-ah! Don't talk back, angel. You're already in deep trouble, don't want to add onto that now, do we?" He makes a swift move to have you lying on your back, your torso completely exposed to him while he remains clothed. 

"But Johnny-" you whine, jolting when you feel his hands caressing the soft flesh of your inner thighs, "How do you think Hyuck would feel about this?" his hands travel further north, cupping your heat from underneath your skirt. "fuck, you're drenched"

"Now tell me, pretty girl, what are you supposed to be calling me, now?" 

"Johnny-, tha-that was a joke! I don't have daddy kin-" you try clenching your thighs close from the sudden attention your core was receiving. Johnny wholeheartedly lets out a laugh at your attempt to hide your true feelings, making a quick act of disregarding your soaked panties somewhere behind him.

"Darling, the more you deny it, the longer we keep going at it-" his thumbs at your clit, applying pressure but making no move to quench your needs. You let out a sigh of bliss at the feeling, your back arching off of the sheets at the sensation.

In any other situation, you'd be embarrassed at how sensitive you'd gotten just from all the dirty talking and looks Johnny passed you. But that's the catch, he's Johnny, the only one who can get you this sensitive while doing the bare minimum. 

"Say it, Y/n." 

"No, Johnny! It's-it's embarrassing.." you plead with your eyes, grinding your hips against his fingers, earning a satisfied, dirty look from the lad. 

"Very well.. I'll just draw it out of you"

Without warning, Johnny with little to no resistance, slides two slender digits into your wetness, setting a pace fast enough to draw loud chains of cries from your mouth.

"You hear that, doll? You hear how fucking wet you are? Hm?" he growls animalistically, the thumb that remained on your clit now moving in circles with a motive to get you undone in seconds. 

"Johnn-..!" you whine out, feeling your orgasm growing so close that you could almost taste it, "Still going at that, angel?" he questions, not really expecting an answer as he soaks up the pleasured look on your face. "Johnny- I'm close.. -" you fail to notice the mischievous grin growing on his face as he speeds up the movement of his fingers. 

"Of course you are, doll" He feels you clench around his fingers, back coming off of the mattress as you ready yourself for your release, waiting until the last minute to draw his finger out.

"Why would you-? Johnn-I was so close!" you cry out as you sense your core clench around nothing, whining about the incomplete orgasm. "Why would I give you what you want when you wouldn't comply, baby? That's not how this works." He shrugs, licking his fingers clean of your essence, moving up from the bed to remove the shirt that seemed to be suffocating now.

"Johnny, please!" you whine louder, rubbing your thighs together to create some sort of friction, all unsatisfactory as it did not meet the same intensity as that of his fingers. 

"Please what, doll?" He smirks, knowing the ball is in his court and that you'd had to give in any moment now. Johnny leans down once again, drawing lazy circles at your clit, using his other hand to hold himself up above and close to you, his minty breath which had a hint of coffee fanning your face as you whimper, finally feeling your high building itself up again. "Spit it out, princess, you know you want to." he speaks in a soft voice.

"Please..please" you beg for nothing in particular, getting all worked up again, "The begging's lovely, doll. But you're starting to anger me here, will you say it? Or should I leave you hanging again?" 

You mutter prayers under your breath, hoping he wouldn't actually leave you hanging again, "Fine-" he moves again to remove his fingers from you to deprive you of pleasure all over again when you finally latch onto his wrist, keeping his hands in place blurting out, "Daddy! I'm so-sorry.. There, daddy, please make me come" you give in, the name, the feeling and look of pure victory on his face as he grins like a cheshire cat only intensifies the heat growing at a rapid pace at the pit of your stomach. 

"Final fucking ly, princess. Daddy will make you feel good" He reinserts his fingers in, drilling it with desperation to see you come undone as he draws rapid circles on your now sensitive clit with the other hand, watching you squirm under him.

"Joh-Daddy i'm coming..!" you cry out weakly as you feel your orgasm hit you with much force, easily driving you into over sensitivity. Johnny's patient in helping you ride out your orgasm, not stopping until you let out a throaty sob and plead him to stop to allow yourself some room to breathe. 

Johnny, however, makes no move to stop, only speeding up his fingers, his gaze fixed on where his fingers disappeared inside of you while his other hand held you down with a vise grip, "Give me one more, doll. I know you've got one more in you. " he pants, the feeling of his girth in confinement only throwing himself to sensory deprivation as he feels himself twitch inside his sweats painfully. 

You shake your head, tears now flowing elegantly down your cheek, your lips puckered into a slight pout, your eyebrows drawn together as you let yourself melt into the pleasure Johnny was providing you with. "Daddy.." 

You whine, feeling your second high reaching you ridiculously quick as you see Johnny's face contort in concentration, 

"I need to get you nice and wet for me, princess, you're doing so well. Give daddy another one" you coaxes you with his sultry tone, words and actions, inevitably having you come undone under him for the second time that night. 

You let out a choked moan, finally having enough as you curl upon yourself the minute Johnny removes his fingers from you, full fledged crying at the overbearing feeling of sensitivity. 

Johnny groans at the sight, leaning down to press a soft peck on your sweaty forehead before getting off of the bed to remove his pants alongside his boxer at a slow speed, granting you some time to recover.

"Condom?" he asks, readying himself to reach into the drawing when he notices you shake your head a no as a reply, "I'm on pills.." you mutter weakly. 

You hear him curse out at the thought of doing you raw, flexing his muscles before climbing on top of you again. He takes his time to gently turn you back onto your back, pressing his tender lips against your irritated one for the first time that night, his hand ever so slightly moving to play with your clit once again, making you jerk, "Daddy!" 

"Sorry, doll. Daddy just needs to make sure that princess is ready to take his cock" 

Your whining intensifies at his words, wiggling your hips to move closer to his own, "But I am ready! Look, daddy! I'm so wet and ready for you!" you whimper, earning a chuckle from the lad. 

Just like all the other times that night, he aligns his cock at your entrance without a warning, the tip ever so slightly pushing through your walls, "Alright, big girl. Show daddy how much of a slut you can be for him."

Suddenly, Johnny detaches himself from you, moving further away as he leans by the edge of the door, smirking at you whining at the loss of contact, "Patience, angel" 

He grabs hold of your hips, manhandling your body into all fours as he enters you completely with no trouble once he's got you where he wants you to be.  

Something about having to take Johnny from behind was so sexy that you could almost immediately feel your orgasm grow, "Fuck baby, keep clenching around me like that and i won't last long," he grunts, moving in you with a steady pace, 

"I never expected my son to befriend such filthy sluts like you, Y/n. Look at the mess you're making on my sheets" He grabs a fistful of your ass in a tight squeeze, the sudden shift in his demeanor only serving as a whiplash as you feel yourself growing closer and closer to the sweet orgasm. 

"Jesus, doll, you're so fucking tight i can barely move" Johnny growls, talking to keep himself from coming too fast. 

"Daddy.. I'm close. M-I'm so so close" you cry as your arms give out and you fall face first onto the mattress, the new stretch in your back only encouraging his cock to hit you deeper, finding the sweet cushion that serves as extra pleasure for you. 

"Me too, princess, me too.. '' You hear him let out a whine, his thrusts growing sloppier as he does you slower but deeper. 

He reaches around your body to find pursuit at your clit for the nth time that night, rubbing rapid, messy circles to go with his deep thrusts, "Daddy!" you reach your high with a high pitched cry of his name. 

Johnny comes not too long after you as he couldn't resist the constant tight clenching of your walls around his cock. He thrust slowly to ride out his high as you twitch helplessly, face scrunched up in too much pleasure. 

You feel your body being manoeuvred onto your side as he whispers sweet nothings which pass right through your ears as you feel him softened inside you, the feeling ridiculously soothing for your used up walls, 

"You did amazing, darling." he kisses your temple, not making any move to remove himself from within you, which you silently thanked him for. 

You both lay in silence as you turned your body towards him, earning a hiss and a playful smack from him as it added pressure onto his sensitive member. You wrap your arms around his torso, about to nuzzle into his chest and just drift away to dreamland when you hear the familiar ring of your phone from the table beside the bed. 

You feel Johnny's body shift to reach out to get your phone, looking at the caller ID before handing it to you with a smirk that you knew meant that he was up to no good. "Oh! It's hyuck" you exclaim in shock, quickly accepting the call and placing it near your ear, moving to get away from him. 

But Johnny seemed to have other ideas, as he latched an arm around your torso to keep you from moving, "Hey-" you begin, immediately feeling Johnny experimentally thrust into you again, making you whine, "Y/n! I miss you~-oh hey, are you okay?" you hear Donghyuck's voice from the other side, 

You look at Johnny with a pleading and warning gaze to which you earn yourself a toothy grin from the lad, 

"Of co-course! Just a little.. peachy,'' You turn around to place a hand on his chest to halt his movement, "You don't sound just peachy.. I've heard you like this before!" you hear Donghyuck make those noises he makes when he's thinking as Johnny keeps thrusting lazily the more you look at him, you see him open his mouth to speak, "Oh fuck! You're getting laid, aren't you???" 

"Tell Hyuck daddy says hi"

#nct smut #nct ff #nct au #wayv #nct #johnny smut #johnny ff #nct 127 smut #nct dream smut #donghyuck ff #donghyuck smut #haechan smut #suh johnny ff #nct johnny smut #nct preferences #nct preference #nct u smut #nct 127 #nct u #nct dream #nct fanfic #nct fanfiction #nct oneshot #nct johnny ff #seo johnny ff #seo johnny

[dylanobrienisbatman]

Your post about Colin took the words right out of my mouth. It is wild to see so many people miss it. Honestly, I think part of the reason people shit on Colin and Polin is because their arcs are compromised of subtlety and complexities, especially right now as the subplot. we arent slapped in the face by their moments so they "lack chemistry" or are "pointless characters".

No the chemistry is there, their stories are there, you just have to look a little closer, think a little harder and a lot of viewers dont want to do that

Anon is referring to this post!

Yes thank you!! I remember especially in s1 their chemistry in scenes made me so giddy, like the scene in 101 when he saves her from Cressida and they dance ? Swoon worthy! And they have so many cute banter-y scenes! just because their banter is friendly and light instead of heavier and more antagonistic like Kanthony doesn’t mean they don’t have a great dynamic. Their chemistry isn’t fiery or super intense, it’s gentle and sweet! It’s a different dynamic, for a different couple! The same way Kanthony had more sexy, intense chemistry than simon and Daphne! Just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s no good!!

And they have REAL conversations!!! Simon and Daphne barely had a single conversation of substance before they were married and by then it was too late. Kanthony (my beloveds) have a few conversations that alude to deeper understanding but the meat of it doesn’t happen on screen. But Polin? Polin spent this WHOLE SEASON having serious, deep conversations about purpose, about finding yourself, about passion and love, about being with people who love you, about protecting and treasuring the people in your life who matter. They are putting in WORK with the small moments they share. Considering how much people have been complaining that Kanthony didn’t have enough deep conversations, the fact that pretty much every conversation Polin had this season was one of substance about real, deep issues should be such a hit, but people just ignored it? I don’t understand.

And yeah!! Colin’s storyline is much more quiet! He’s a quieter character in the show than either of his brothers. Whether that’s different from the books or whatever, it’s still true. He was the first one who wanted to get married, he just hangs out with Penelope and his family, he comes home late from parties taking care of his drunk mom, he’s just a sweet guy who is just living his life. Just because he’s not loud and his storyline isn’t big or flashy doesn’t mean he doesn’t have an arc or character work that’s being done.

You’re 100% right tho. Like Penelope has made some enemies in the show, she’s done some shit that’s pretty terrible, and I’m sure that’s part of why people aren’t super excited for her season, but Polin is also just a much quieter love story than any of the others. It’s not angry sexy enemies to lovers, it’s not fake dating and duels, there’s no huge class divide or jail time to keep them apart. They are the story of two friends, of unrequited love that slowly, over a LONG time, becomes mutual. Their love story is a simple one, one where all of a sudden Colin realises that the best person for him has actually already been there all along. It’s not flashy, and it’s not “cinematic”, but it’s, IMO, the most realistic love story in the series. I think the lack of flash makes it less anticipated, but that doesn’t make it bad. Sometimes a quiet love story is what you need.

#colin bridgerton #Polin #penelope featherington #Bridgerton

[vixenpen]

Look me in the face and tell me that a thick asf, black, bookworm fem reader is the next door neighbor of the sexy twitch streamer or cam boy Shinsou, who wants nothing more than to make you his and have you screaming his name doesn’t sound hot! I dare you 🗿 She’s so shy and sweet and Shinsou just wants to know how loud she can be after the two get to know each other more

Omg that’s so hot 🤤 if y’all can’t tell, I love men secretly pining and lusting after unknowing female readers. ESPECIALLY if they are shy, nerdy, and or curvy/thicc girls. So Inhad fun with this

Girl Next Door (Shinsou x Black Reader)

Quirkless AU

(Art by: @raikiriart)

Shinsou kept his blinds opened when he gamed. He always joked with his viewers that it was for the natural lighting.

“Y’all know the sun really brings out the purple in my eyes.” He’d smirk, and that was that.

They didn’t need to know the real reason he kept them open. His violet eyes flitted towards the window again as he mindlessly navigated the game. That’s when he saw you walking into the complex.

“Uhh, alright guys, I think that’s about it for today. I’ll be back on tonight for our midnight stream,” his eyes flicked over to the window again. You were checking the mailbox. Perfect. “Until next time, later guys.”

Shinsou quickly shut off his computer and threw on a pair of shoes before rushing down the stairs.

“Hey there bookworm.” Shinsou grinned as he approached you.

As soon as you turned and flashed him your little brace face smile, he felt an arrow pierce his heart. God you were adorable. With your colorful braces and glasses and pretty chocolate dimples.

“Hey yourself, e-boy.” You replied.

“Get anything interesting?” Shinsou nodded at your stack of mail as he opened his own mailbox.

“A new book.”

“Of course,” he shot you a smirk.

“Of course,” you giggled.

“Well, hey, that’s what makes you my little book worm.” He teased.

You glanced away your shy little dimpled smile making his heart flutter.

“Well, I better get upstairs,” you said, “I have studying to do.”

“Alright then,” Shinsou’s heart sank a bit at the thought of losing time with you. “Mind if I walk up with you?”

“Sure!”

Shinsou let you lead the way.

You two were neighbors and had come to be good friends; often walking up to your apartments together. So you thought nothing of it when he took up space behind you. Not even feeling the predatory gaze on your ass.

Shinsou’s friendly face fell into an almost hungry gaze as you strutted in front of him. There was something about your cute face juxtaposed with your stacked curves that drove him crazy. Your round ass bounced with every step as you led the way up the stairs. He tucked his hands in the pockets of his joggers and stroked the bulge growing in his pants as your ass wiggled.

Stop being such a creep man.

He chastised himself as you bounced up the stairs, but fuck he couldn’t help it.

All he could imagine was how loud he could make your soft little voice scream for him while he pounded into your thick ass from the back or watched your bouncy tits jiggle in his face.

“Hey, y/n,” Shinsou piped up before he could stop himself.

“Yeah?” You cocked your head.

Cutie.

“I was wondering if you wanted to come over and order take out. We can just watch a movie or somethin’..or not! I don’t want you to think I’m tryna Netflix and chill or something!” Even though he totally was.

You felt your face burn. In all the time you and Shinsou had been neighbors, you had always had a crush on him, but never knew how to express it. You honestly never expected anything more than friendly mailbox banter; so getting invited to his house was a pleasant surprise to say the least.

“O-oh, um—Sure!”

“Really? Ahh, I have to stream tonight at midnight, but how bout eight?”

Your cheeks burned as you nodded. “Sounds good.”

“Alright, I now have an hour to make this place look presentable.” Shinsou gazed around his messy bachelor pad.

He managed to make his place decent and changed from his joggers into jeans and a t-shirt. He even combed his messy purple locks a bit. He wanted to look good for you guys’ first hang out session. After all, he couldn’t believe you had actually agreed to hang out with him. Shinsou had been crushing on you for months, but he didn’t think he was actually good enough for you. You were smart and studious and hard working and he was pretty sure you only viewed him as a lazy gamer guy.

That was why he had to impress you. This was his first shot to make a real impression and maybe score a real date with you.

He wondered how you would wear your hair and makeup. If he’d finally get to see those curves of yours hugged in a dress. He groaned aloud, thinking about running his fingers over your body.

“Fuck...” he muttered, feeling his dick flex at the thought of your thick chocolate body writhing under his.

Shinsou stroked himself through his jeans growing harder as his thoughts about you ran wild.

I can’t act like this when she’s around. I’ll scare her off for sure.

Ok. He had twenty minutes. He could just rub one out, right? That way when you got there he wouldn’t be thinking about throwing you on the kitchen table and deep dicking you until you were a groaning mess.

You knocked at Shinsou’s front door. You stepped back and bounced on your toes a bit.

When he opened the door, you felt your heart quicken. He looked so handsome. You weren’t used to seeing him in jeans and you could see how well sculpted his chest was through his shirt.

“Hey, bookworm.” He smiled.

“Hi, you.” You replied.

“Come on in.”

As soon as Shinsou ushered you inside you were intrigued by all the cool super hero posters and pictures of friends on the family.

“DC guy, huh?” You smirked at him as you observed his DC posters.

“For the most part,” Shinsou replied, coming up to your side. “I like the world building more in DC; feels a bit more real to me than Marvel. I don’t know why, but I have to admit I like Marvel’s villains more.”

“Hmm. I’m the opposite.”

Shinsou’s brow quirked as he grinned down at you.

“Oh yeah?”

You nod, shrugging. “I just think marvel has cooler, more powerful heroes and I like the world building in marvel. But I think DC has cooler villains and I like the grimmer grittier vibe.”

“Hmmm, let me find out my bookworm is a comic buff.”

Your heart fluttered again at the possessive nickname, but you mask it with a grin. “Try me.”

By the time the pizza arrives you and Shinsou are deep in your conversation about movies, comics, books, and your favorite shows.

Shinsou proudly shows you his custom PC and set up and swells with pride at how you gush over his build.

He loves hearing about your studies and theories and you guys bounce ideas off of each other for hours.

Before you both know it, it’s eleven o’clock.

“I’m so sorry, Shin. I didn’t mean to hold you up.”

“Trust me, y/n, if it wasn’t for that alarm I wouldn’t have even noticed the time. This has been really fun.”

The grin that lit up your face made your dark eyes sparkle and Shinsou desperately wanted to kiss you.

“Yeah. It was fun. I’m really glad we did this.”

“Yeah, totally. We should...do it again sometime. Maybe we can go out for dinner next weekend?” He offered, carefully.

You glanced away, sweetly, composing yourself before meeting his eyes again with a shy nod.

“I’d like that a lot.”

“Cool,” Shinsou grinned, scratching the back of his neck as a blush burned on his cheeks. Guess I’ll hop over next door and pick you up huh?” He chuckled.

“Sure.” You giggled back. “Well...night, Shin, have fun on your stream.”

“Night, y/n.” He smiled back.

As soon as you were out the door, Shinsou wanted to whoop and holler. Holy shit! He couldn’t believe he’d finally did it! Not only did he ask you to hang out, he scored an actual date with you!

Not only that, he finally got to know you beyond just a few words, and you were totally cool!

Knowing how cool and interesting you are coupled with your sweet, shy nature just made you more attractive to him.

He couldn’t help being even more turned on. You were like the perfect girl. Shy and sweet and nerdy and cool and Thicc as fuck.

He couldn’t wait to get to know you better in more ways than one...

He felt himself stirring once again and sighed, palming himself through his jeans.

“Dammit,” he muttered, eyes fluttering shut in frustration. “I’ve really gotta stop working myself up over you, bookworm.”

Alright. He had an hour. He could take care of his ‘little problem’ before he started his stream. He would be thinking of you riding his face the whole time.

#my hero academia #bnha imagines #shinsou x black reader #shinsou hitoshi #bnha #bnha scenarios #my hero fanfic #smutty #shinsou smut #slight n/sfw #bnha headcanons #bnha smut #mha headcanons #quirkless au #shinsou x reader

[cinnamonest]

ok here me out,,, i have a few danganronpa headcanons Id like to share.

Nagito can go both ways of how they view their darling, if the darling has an Ultimate then he worships her, sees her as above, basically just being one of those yanderes where they try their best to be nice to them.

If his darling doesn't have an Ultimate talent then he just goes >:( like yeah he still loves you and all but 80% of the time most of his compliments are gonna be backhanded and most def sees himself as above you

My other headcanon is that Byakuya would most def be misogynistic and have some type of misogyny kink. Even if you did come from a wealthy family he'd still have some sort of superiority complex. He probably has some sort of corruption kink too in my opinion.

That's all I have to say *drops mic*

*nod nod* yes yes very good!! Byakuya is a dick honestly. I feel like his treatment of a darling would more or less be equivalent to how he treated Toko, kinda vaguely acts disgusted but does have moments where it's evident he cares.

He would be really irritated at himself for having, you know, emotional developments towards a person, ever. Consequently, he's just kind of a dick to darling. That kind of snobbishness where he's just constantly acting like you're a nuisance, signing and acting disgusted by you, but the moment you turn to go away he just internally is like "wait where are you going why are you leaving?? All I did was bully you what's your problem"

Eventually, it ends up being a perilous situation or something that draws out the reality that he DOES care, although he brushes it off as no big deal. Also, so much money is involved. Initially he presents it, again, as a burden -- no way are you going to be associated with HIM wearing those clothes, using that phone, driving that car. In reality, he does like seeing how flustered you get, and he gets a swell of pride from feeling like you're dependent on him. He likes it when you're flustered and awed by his wealth, when you're impressed, and so forth. Think Xingqiu but like, a meaner version lol

And yesssss he definitely does have the whole provider dad + mommy trophy wife model to follow, you know his mom is probably a really good lil wife that does whatever she's told and doesn't ever talk back or defy... And he would expect the same. Definitely gets irritated by a gf that has the audacity to demand anything.

Nagito is... An interesting case. He's one of my favorite characters, there's multiple ways to kinda interpret his personality... Obviously me being the person I am when I played the game I kinda took a much worse interpretation than I think most people did lol, it always struck me as the whole extreme degradation/humility thing being... Kind of fake/almost mocking sometimes. More of a self-delusion or even in and of itself a form of thinly veiled narcissism, if that makes sense? Like, a lot of people act very humble because it constructs their self-serving self-perception of them being a good person or trying to appear humble to counteract their internal superiority complex, which was kinda the vibes I got from the boy, especially since he has those moments where he kinda snaps out of that personality and suddenly becomes super demanding/arrogant. Idk throughout the game I thought he was an asshole lmao. But I like that, of course.

If darling doesn't have a talent he would literally be unbearably obnoxious. The thing about him is that he's surprisingly transparent and just says what he thinks out loud so prepare to be offended pretty frequently. He doesn't pull his punches either. If darling does have a talent, though, I actually feel like whole he would be the worshipping type, he'd try to find little ways to kind of one-up darling, if for no other reason than to make himself feel better, all while spewing his self-depricating bullshit.

Also Nagito is a massive stalker type. Like, disgustingly so. Wall covered in polaroids taken from hiding spots, steals clothes, comes into your room to lay on your bed when you're not there, comes into your room while you sleep to jerk off next to you. Steals things water bottles you throw away and refills them to drink from, because it had your mouth on it. Jerks off while on the phone with you. I get the vibe that he's got a very wide range of sexual preferences, the type of person that can get off to like nearly anything as long as it involves you... But including that very unexpected and quiet sort of sadism going on, like the type that just kinda... Silently enjoys seeing you hurt even in non sexual contexts. And he feels bad about it. But still jerks off to it. He's gross.

#and we love a gross boi tho #.dangan #lena's asks #tw: misogyny

[guns-in-the-desert]

Nyo!Prussia (JJ) NSFW A-Z

A=Aftercare

She pretty good at it, believe it or not she’s naturally quite nurturing, she has a mental checklist she goes through. She cleans you off, cleans and replaces the sheets (every single time, without fail) and so on and so forth.

B= Body Part

I’m not gonna lie to y’all, it’s your ✨PUSSY✨, well, her pussy, don’t argue with her on that, she owns it. On her it’s her tongue because she uses it, and uses it well, on her favorite part of you.

C= Cum

She’s conflicted, she would love to make an absolute mess. But the thought of having anything messy pisses her off, so let’s say she likes squirters until she actually encounters one. Oh and she creams btw, preferably in your mouth

D= Dirty secret

This is by no means a secret, but she has an EXTENSIVE collection of strap-ons. Her favorite is either the red one(the biggest and her favorite color) or the flesh colored one that actually ✨nuts✨

E= Experience

HELLA, she bags bitches (in the most respectful way possible of course, her words not mine) three girls at one time she has' em’ in rotation. She gets tested regularly.

F= Favorite Position

Anyone where your

A) folded into a pretzel

B) In pain

C) All of the above

Bonus points if she has access to your tittes, hope your a contortionist.

G= Goofy

Not super goofy, it’s the only time other than when she’s cleaning/organizing she’s not goofy(for the most part)

H= Hair

This girl does not shave like at all, she occasionally trims her cooch how but that’s low key pushing it. She conditions her coochie hair, so it’s nice and soft for you.

I= Intimacy

Not intimate at all, she’s an evil bitch and don’t you forget it.

J= Jack off

Not often, not because she’s not horny, but because she has bitches on deck. To put it simply, she doesn’t need to.

K= Kink

Has a daddy kink, yes, she is a lesbian, no she is not a bottom.

Is more verbally mean than she is physically. But she’ll still rock your shit. On the lowest of keys is into Mdlg but I’m not getting into that. Is mean, LIVES TO DEGRADE

L= Location

ANYWHERE SHE CAN

M= Motivation

stays horny (it’s an addiction at this point) like you don’t have to worry about her motivation, it’s yours I’m worried about honestly.

N= No

Has little restrictions when it comes to her personally, tbh it’s mostly internal conflict about making a mess.

O= Oral

8/10, she may not be able to whistle, but she can use her tongue, prefers receiving but sometimes she’s feeling generous, if you beg for more than her fingers, unless you’re bad, no amount of begging gets you a reward.

P= Pace

She goes fast and rough, and shows no mercy, she takes ZERO prisoners (unless you want her too 😉

Q= Quickies

Not the biggest fan, but anything for a good fuck.

R= Risk

She loves a good risk, not like you can get pregnant, so your wish is her command (unless you wanna top)

S= Stamina

It depends, she can either go like one round or 1,000 it depends on her environment mostly, she needs to be in a clean space, or her urge to clean will overcome her horniness(is that a word)

T= Toys

Despite being a lesbian, she the anti-vibrator complex. The anything it can do, I can do better mindset. But her strap-on collection, like I said previously, is impressive. And she your basic impact play, and blindfolds.

U= Unfair

Not fair at all, she loves to tease, and will not be teased, don’t try.

V= Volume

Not loud it’s mostly dirty (EXTREMELY DIRTY) talk and let me tell you, your never going to be prepared for it

W= Wild Card

She wears low rise jeans with a strap-on on just so everyone that walks past can see the straps. It’s a subtle flex, and it’s hot.

X= X-Ray

SHE HAS THE BIGGEST DICK ENERGY FOR NO REASON, if she was a boy she’d have the biggest dick in the show (yes, that includes Russia) but Prussia doesn’t have the biggest dick in the show, don’t ask me how that works, I don’t get paid enough to use my brain to that degree.

Y= Yearning

ALWAYS HORNY, always. She’s ready to fuck at anytime , anywhere, and everywhere.

Z= ZZZ (How quickly does he fall asleep after?)

Miss girl does not sleep. She sleeps for two hours a night, and is perfectly energized on the daily (she is extremely anti-drug(even prescription, it’s crazy))

#hetalia #aph #hetalia x reader #hetalia headcanons #nyo prussia #nyotalia #hetalia smut #nyo prussia x reader