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ijustwannareadfanficsomljebote · 8 months

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Nurse Ann HC!!

I always Liked Ann. I am , in fact, a gay little weird girl . Unfortunately, the creepy pasta fan base never really popularised her , as she never had a proper backstory. So I decided to write down little general things , quirks and such about her .

Ann's full name is Annabelle Bernard. French is her first language, but she doesn't have a heavy accent. She doesn't speak often so her voice is raspy and cold . She is much more expressive with her body language rather than her voice . As a result of that she often comes across as cold , dismissive and demanding - or threatening even .

She is 6'1 and super strong , tho she always wears heels . Her feet are deformed due to that (she can't lower her foot fully on the ground ) , therefore she is a s l o w walker . She has her comically large chainsaw , but due to her walking disability she just ends up dragging it around slowly and loudly .

Thanks to that she never really turns the giant on . She does , however, take precise care of it . She cleans it weekly , tests it daily and even replaces everything that isn't perfect. She has this very sturdy , black leather case for it. My guess is that she stole a very expensive guitar case .

Annabelle definitely is a perfectionist. A nurse must keep everything tidy , clean , sterile even , working and insuring her patients are well mentally and physically ; appropriately dressed and behaved. She is a tolerant , stubborn and somewhat self righteous person with a clear preference for complying individuals.

Annabelle never learned to express herself in any way other than professionally and sarcastically. She is a deeply lonely but introverted person , so she doesn't really pick up social cues and she does get overwhelmed sometimes . That being said she doesn't feel comfortable acknowledging or acting on her emotions –rather , she over explains and over thinks her actings and feelings , forcing herself to be preoccupied understanding then instead of feeling them . I don't see her to be paranoid, but she is definitely a closed off individual ((she definitely has a diary/journal)).

Her love language is quality time and acts of service. I see her to be somewhat touched starved , but I don't think she would ever act on it all that much - a nurse must be a professional after all . If she were to warm up to someone , I think she would be kind of anxious and akward . As I said she doesn't really pick up social cues well , so having a friend (or anything more) is scary for her — you are never catching her confessing that .

Her pronouns are she/her/they/them and I think she is a lesbian, who is somewhat afraid of (never really had) commitment. Tho she is a caring , well spoken lover(?).

Ann isn't as old fashioned as she might seem , but she definitely prefers blogs and books over videos and pictures (if yk what I mean) . No one knows who , why or how made her . She calms she's been alive for so long she doesn't really remember. Matter of fact she forgot her original name (and who knows how many others) , Annabelle Bernard is simply a "lovely and polite" name .

She might not have a medical degree, but she does know everything and anything healthy , healing , relaxing and stressful. All the symptoms, sicknesses, medicines, massages, you name it . When it comes down to treatment it really only boils down to : if she has ingredients/ proper tools and ; if she has time for it / how urgent it is .

The whole memory thing is a bit suspicious tho... Just sayin .

But you try to go against a sadistic , cold , 6'1 woman with super strength and a comicly large chainsaw . I dare you .

I think journalism, reading and high maintenance self care is what keeps her sane .

She is definitely always ready and in full glam . Her hair is always perfectly blow-dryed / curled / tied , her skins(?) are always soft and smooth , she smells well 24/7 .... I think that she is very selective with who (and how) she treats , which leaves her with a lot of time for self care and cleaning.

She has a really specific way of doing things . She always takes her jewelry off , ties her hair up , puts a mask on , wears her apron and then her gloves . She never changed that routine , she can do it within minutes . With that said she has a scalper (scalpel??) collection , a first aid kit , bandages , pain killers and numbing medicine all in their respective bundles / baggies ; within her apron . She also has a small pocket used only for her 3 hair ties . No one is sure why she is the way she is .

I mean even her leg problems, just take your shoes off and perform some ancient ritual woman !!

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aikolina · 2 years

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Jealousy all over town pt.3

♡

Diluc Ragnvindr x reader

AN: I'm trying to keep this fic with gn!reader but I'm not the best so I just say 'reader'. uhm yeah-

Warnings: kinda angst to fluff?, insecure, rumors ur mom

Wordcount: 437

!not proofread!

♡

"D-diluc" Donna stuttered looking frightened. You looked up and then quickly behind you. You see Diluc's large figure behind you. He glared at Donna. Man looking scary rn and Donna, well she's gna shit her pants.

Diluc wrapped his arms around you before speaking- "don't you dare call my soon-to-be wife/husband like that you filthy rat. They're so much better than all of you, yeah all of you! I don't know your backstory but I can tell you that I was the one who fell first. I know they're neither a gold digger or a backstabber, they rarely use my money. They work hard to pay for themselves; Y/n is a wonderful person and they're everything I could ask for and I'm very grateful I can be with someone like them. So if you or any of the other one of you talk about them again; there will be consequences."

omg I didn't thimk that line would be so long, sry lmao

Donna and the others around stood there shocked and not evemn bothering to say anything back aftere getting yelled at.

"I-" you started, about to say something before Diluc cut you off.

"shh let's just get home for now," he whispered and picked you, bridal style.

You let a tear out and hugged Diluc's chest.

He carried you the whole way back to the winery and asked one of his maids to prepare something small to eat.

Now that you both were home, he tucked you in the couch with a blanket while the maid came with a cup of coffee and a slice of freshly baked bread.

"I'm so sorry, I didnt know. I shouldve been more cautious" Diluc said as he ckissed your forehead.

"It's okay and thank you- uh... um, and- did u really mean what you said back there? You know, about that wife/husband thing..." u asked hesitantly and snuggled him.

He put his hands on your cheeks and made you look at him.

"of course I love you more than anything in the god forsaken world"

he replied with a soft smile on his face. You hugged him even tighter and kissed him.

"If this ever happens again, I want you to tell me. I get really worried in these situations" Diluc said.

"yeah sorry, I just hope this doesn't happen again-"

You both went quiet and soon fell asleep. This night you could cry in his arms, and not all alone. He was always there for you. You just had to realize it, and now you finally did.

You didn't feel alone anymore, you had Diluc.

♡

Pretty short ik, quite bad writing. (English is my 3rd language so sorry for bad grammar and spelling) THANK YOU for reading and supporting my blog<33

I think this is the end, um you can always try to change the ending in your head if you didn't like my ending like me, omg twinning.

Hope you have an amazing day/night^^

BYEE

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thatstatstoyou · 5 months

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Welcome to my account. This will be a oc rp blog. The character I'll play as is Tatsou Chizaku.

🤓☝️; Erm that's cringe, who cares about some weird OC blog

🐉- Um okay Theo, obviously you do if you wanna ask in the first place. Whenever I think something isn't my thing I .. oh idk... Try and NOT comment on a post with it?

|🐲|

Ints:

Oc or cannon rp blogs!

Mod is under 18+ so please no NSFW (Flirting I do not care)

Dares or pranks are always welcomed

I'll try to respond with drawings of my oc

Your welcome to ask questions or even rp if you like

|🐲|

Dni:

Any hate of any kind (I will laugh in your face) This is a safe place for everyone

Nothing too creepy or weird please.

No detailed NSFW things please and thank you

|🐲|

BYI:

I'm pretty straight forward about things

I use the same tone as you use with me. Are you an asshole? I'm an asshole then. Are you sweet to me? I'm sweet back :3

I am TERRIBLE with tone when texting, please either use tone tags or make it obvious about your emotions on the text. TY!!

~`|•BACKSTORY•|`~

Tatsou and her older sister, Raine lived in a small village northern from the location of final selection. Raine lived in a rather poor family as they didn't have much. Her father being a common thief and the mother being a saint. Raine has a sister named Tatsou Chizaku who is 2 years younger. When Raine(7) and Tatsou(5) were younger. Their father taught Raine how to steal food and jewelry. Which caused them to be looked down on. Months after a demon attacked which led to the death of Raine's parents.

Tatsou was then raised by her sister Raine. Raine did most of the stealing foods and stuff for survival while tatsou was either the distraction or off to the side. Once when Raine and tatsou were going to 'borrowing' food, the owner of the shop caught her and was gonna punish her. One night a demon attacked the village causing everyone to panic. Tatsou was separated from Raine and almost was attacked by the demon. Luckily a demon slayer came before it could and blocked Tatsou before killing it off. Tat was so appreciative after the lovely demon slayer brought her back to Raine and ever since then wanted to be a demon slayer.

Tatsou has always been fascinated in Dragons and always went to collect lizards. One day when she was catching a lizard she saw 3 swords on the back of a river where demon slayers were bathing. Tatsou being the angel she was.... Took the swords when they weren't looking and ran off with them to show Raine.

~`|BASIC INFO|`~

Tatsou is a 16 year old, 5'5 Kinoe Ranked demon slayer. Her breathing style is Dragon breathing that she made herself. Like her sister she has very strong bones, mainly in her legs and arms as that's where she mainly trains.

She mainly focuses on agility and wisdom making her battle IQ very high as well as her flexibility, and movements. She fights in a style like The lion dance as well as basic Katana fighting ig?..... Tatsou has amazing spatial awareness meaning it's hard to sneak up to her and she can sense a demon around the area she is in

(like the police man from rainy and a chance of meatballs/j)

Disadvantage; to many demons can over welm her and if she were to work with anyone like Genya and Nezuko she would accidentally almost attack them because she would mentally process they are not on her side before she sees them

Tatsou is a duals welder except the 'chips' on her sword are actually there to cut down trees or collect wood (cause she is broke AF)

Tatsou, instead of having a crow, has a lahore pigeon because despite being amazingly gifted with spatial awareness she gets lost very easily. She went in a circle for 5 days of the 7 days during final selection

Unlike her sister, Tatsou is more loud, aggressive and very straight forward when it comes to things. She isn't afraid to speak her mind about topics no matter who you are.

🐲🐉Fun facts🐉🐲

Tatsou laces her sword with gasoline so she can light it during battle and have her attack hurt more

The flame of her breathing style is purple

Tatsou gets very quiet and shy around genya, most likely will avoid looking at him or will stare from afar for a moment

Tatsous haori was stolen from a dying homeless man

Despite having a tough exterior... She is actually very childish

Tatsou enjoys secretly giving genya crystals she finds on missions.

Tatsous scar on her face is due to a demon night during a battle.

#kny oc #kny oc art #kny

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magax-destroyer · 2 years

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It is time for the first of 5 account showcases on my blog, wherein I discuss my Neopets OCs and all of you must endure the agony of me rambling about the dramatic lives of my cartoon animals if you dare to click the readmore.

Today we'll be looking at my side account halzatron, and all the pets therein: Erosollo, Cursyn, Necroptosis, Diophyrus, Pherphernut, and Kokonili! LET'SGO

Most of my accounts (and by most, I mean all except one) I base on the thought that all of the pets on it actually live together. In this specific case, the only one who doesn't "live at the house" so to speak is Diophyrus (he comes to visit!). Everyone excluding him lives in Neovia; Diophyrus lives in Meridell.

Final Warning: Everything below is over 1,300 words long, I tried to make these as small and simple as I could. I am going to write a story about these guys one day though if I ever get the motivation... If you just want to stop at looking at their nice customs that’s fine!

I am legally obligated to start with Erosollo because this purple weasel sends serotonin to my brain every time I so much as look at him.

Name: Erosollo Pronouns: he/him or they/them Color: Royal Petpet: Royal Meepit (Hanos)

Erosollo is a huge dork who is into fantasy novels and tabletop games. He thinks himself something of a knight-in-shining-armor type and tries to put on the air of being a perfect gentlemen around people he doesn't know. Born without magical powers like his mom or brother (or at least, he thinks so), he took up sword-fighting as a hobby because he is a nerd. Now him and his friends like to go on little "adventures" to other lands, basically LARPing around. The group also loves to play pranks around the Haunted Woods and Neovia.

Can't seem to remember much about his past, but... If it was important he'd remember it, wouldn't he?

Pherphernut and Kokonili are his best friends, and Diophyrus is his boyfriend. Dio likes to call Erosollo his white knight.

Name: Cursyn Pronouns: he/him Color: Mutant (formerly Halloween) Petpet: Halloween Blugar (Plague McRabidnoozle)

Erosollo's beloved older brother. Cursyn wasn't always a mutant that looked like a hell spawn... That was the result of a tragedy from his past that he'd really rather forget about. Cursyn is the one who has magical powers between the two siblings, but considering his appearance... He'd rather just stay inside all day in his room than go out on adventures with everyone else. The only people who ever get him to come out are Erosollo and Necroptosis.

Like I said, this guy's tragic backstory is one he'd rather not discuss, but allegedly his problems all got started with someone calling himself a scientist...

Cursyn is in a long-distance relationship with my Ruki, Shean, who he met when the latter was resurrected following his death in the Haunted Woods. He has one other friend, Wysteranium, but he hasn’t seen them in forever…

Name: Necroptosis Pronouns: she/her Color: Faerie Petpet: Plushie Baby Fireball (Mishal)

The literal mom of the house. Necroptosis is a magician who specializes in fire magic, and has taken three two students under her wings (metaphorically and literally) to train them in honing their magical power. She loves her babies, but she really wishes Erosollo would stay out of trouble! Whenever she isn't making sure her kids aren't out causing havoc Fyora-knows-where, she's either in her study or... out looking for someone.

Necro met the boys' father a long time ago, though no one's seen him in years or even really knows who he is. She tries to always do right by her babies... And sometimes she might make a bad choice because she thinks it's to their benefit...

She's divorced, and planning on staying that way. As far as other relationships go, she's on speaking terms with Symonious, doesn't particularly care for Erican, and she and Tolnaftate are... err... well, they'll work together if they absolutely have to...

Kokonili and Pherphernut are her students, but really, they may as well be her adopted kids at this point. Some people think she had another student at one point, but nobody is sure who it was. And there’s even rumors that she has a sister and possibly a nephew...

Name: Diophyrus Pronouns: he/him Color: Royal(?) Petpet: Drackonack (Greg)

Diophyrus is a dorky little farmer boy from Meridell who Erosollo, Kokonili, and Pherphernut met on complete accident while messing around out there. Dio is a dork too, just like Erosollo, who is obsessed with fairy tales and dreams of having some prince sweep him off his feet... So you know as soon as he sees this Kyrii with the crown and the cape and the sword he absolutely had to get into that friend group. He's a lot more of a clown than the others, though, and his favorite thing to do is try to get Erosollo to corpse (basically, crack up and start laughing) whenever he's in prim-and-proper mode because he thinks it's funny.

Nobody really knows much about this Cybunny's past... His mom LonnieAnne, when asked, just says he was left on her doorstep when he was a cute little baby. Who could ever abandon a bunny this cute?

Of course, being Erosollo's boyfriend, Diophyrus is also friends with his friends. He tends to get along with Kokonili best, since both of them are a bit mischievous and like to cause trouble. For whatever reason, Tolnaftate is constantly checking up on him, though Dio and Tol try to keep that a total secret.

Claims not to know who his biological parents are, but... is that true?

Name: Pherphernut Pronouns: she/her Color: Halloween Petpet: Plushie Sandan (Oopsy)

The Halloween Bruce who loves plants and studying magic spells. Pherphernut was Necroptosis' first student after... some stuff happened. While Pherphernut has been taught to do all sorts of general magic, her favorite magic is anything involving growing plant life. She has a magical broom that she, Erosollo, and Kokonili ride whenever they go on adventures together... Though it barely fits them all. (Erosollo is a gentleman who will sit on the very back, no matter how much it completely terrifies him.) She is a sweet, gentle, soft spoken girl who just wants to help people, and is always there for her friends.

Born on Terror Mountain, when Pherphernut began displaying magical talents, her grandmother went looking for a teacher for her. The two of them happened across Necroptosis, who offered to take the girl in to teach her how to use her powers. Pherphernut still likes to fly out on her broom to visit her family back on the mountain whenever she can!

Since Pherphernut was the first to get to Necroptosis' house, she is a lot closer with Erosollo than Kokonili is. She's actually the one who got him hooked on pranks (what? It's fun to prank people from your magic broom...) and it just got worse when Kokonili showed up. Pherphernut is also friends with Symonious, even though the Vandagyre is a bit older than her. She views Sym as being like the cool, older cousin she never had.

Name: Kokonili Pronouns: she/her Color: Christmas Petpet: Christmas Barlow (Snuffy)

*I want to preface this one by saying I did not know of the character Lady Frostbite from Defenders of Neopia when I made Koko, and I like her custom too much to change her but maybe I'll revamp her powers at some point, idk.

Kokonili could sort of be considered the only sane one among Erosollo and his friends, though really that just translates to being more street smart than them. She's a bit rough around the edges, but Koko does really care for this gaggle of nerds she's found herself surrounded by. She's only begun studying under Necroptosis very recently, but she has a special talent for ice magic... With none of the required secondary powers to avoid freezing herself. It embarrasses her to no end, made even worse by the fact that she is very easy to rile up which can lead to her overdoing things...

Born on Krawk Island, Kokonili spent a lot of her life essentially stuck at the bottom of a pirate totem pole. She grew up learning how to keep herself from being taken advantage of, and ultimately met Erosollo and Pherphernut when the two were on Krawk Island. After accidentally freezing someone who was trying to rip the duo off, they decided to totally take Koko home with them, and since Koko didn't exactly have a family or anything, she said screw it and went with them.

Kokonili and Diophyrus ended up quickly becoming besties, like I said earlier, owing to the two of them both being troublemakers. She's friends with Erosollo too, but... She really has to teach him some street smarts, because watching him get ripped off is absolutely cringe-worthy. She has a cute, puppy love crush on Roxalae, because she finds that Eyrie extremely cute with her pretty steampunk clothes and her red hair...

#joanne's pets #holy FUCK this is long as hell #i listed pronouns for pronoun anon who said my neopets have pronouns #yes they do! thank you for noticing #neotag

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mothbug · 3 years

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benny objectively the best dnd character of all time

#really into wildlife and poetry and WOMENS HONKERS #Uh oh i’m an ecoterrorist he he ^-^#thinking abt her in her cute overall skirt with little flowers in her hair DRENCHED IN BLOOD yet again . she’s so funny #buys a book on the ethics of robotics for a laugh #i am an innocent 2 or 20 or 50 year old robot who only wants to act and be happy :(#INVENTED BRUNCH ON ACCIDENT. took a woman she has a crush on to go see her wanted poster #her backstory. well. i will not dare to speak of it on this blog for there are some BITCHES here who would SEE it smh #oh benediximus how i love you . i can’t believe i started playing her as so intimidating but she’s never killed anyone. she is a beast tho #i’ve written poetry in character that’s how you know she has charmed me to the core <3 #i don’t think she knows lying to cops is a crime but it is her favorite activity #dnd

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troquantary · 3 years

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Cutting Hair as Punishment in the Twilight Saga

Okay, I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts around this into a sort-of-essay format for a while, because I find it disturbingly mean-spirited: Meyer has a pattern of using hair-cutting as a form of punishment for characters, especially female characters, who fail to embrace Bella and the Cullens with open arms. I’m talking particularly about Leah and Lauren, both of whom, while not outright antagonists like Victoria or James, are situated along with Rosalie as “against” Bella throughout the series. The Quileute pack, meanwhile, is situated largely “against” the Cullens, meaning Jacob and the rest of the pack get the Haircut of Shame, too.

(Also, I’ve been creeping through @panlight ‘s blog because I thought she had a recent post relating to this -- I was probably thinking of this submission and her addendum, which does discuss Meyer’s “punishment” of certain characters, but that post was about characters suffering for not waiting for True Love, or daring to do the Devil’s Tango before marriage. Still, it’s on-theme and very much worth reading, like all her stuff!)

So here’s the general outline: first I’m gonna talk about the shapeshifters and how their overall lack of choice frames cutting their hair as something forced on them and therefore punitive. Then I’m going to discuss Meyer’s FAQ response where she reveals that Lauren was tricked into cutting off most of her hair over the summer before New Moon, and how this adds an extra fun misogynistic element to the hair-cutting theme with respect to Lauren and Leah. I also use way too many words to do it, sorry.

Punishment | The Shapeshifters Are Given No Other Option

I don’t have the background or knowledge to discuss the significance of long hair to indigenous culture and identity in detail, and my understanding is that different tribes ascribe different meanings to it. What I’ve read it about it suggests that, generally, long hair represents strength of one’s individual spirit and of the community. It’s a source of pride, and is only cut off voluntarily in extraordinary circumstances, often as an expression of grief, or to mark a significant life change.

This sort of works in the context of the shapeshifters all cutting their hair -- phasing into a giant wolf, discovering the existence of the supernatural, and assuming the role of protectors is a major life event for these characters. But the negative associations make it a troubling choice on Meyer’s part, and that’s without even getting into the problem of her imposing her own worldbuilding onto the legends and culture of a real tribe. Because of the lack of choice involved in becoming a shapeshifter, the whole situation feels like a scenario in which the Quileute characters have their hair forcibly cut -- a degrading and traumatic act that (depending on their particular tribal belief) might symbolically sever them from their sense of cultural identity and connection with the rest of their tribe.

It all kind of begs the question: why does Meyer even have shapeshifting work this way? What narrative utility is there in having the length of their hair in human form determine the length of their fur as wolves, thereby compelling the shapeshifters to cut it so it isn’t a physical impediment? It’s another sign of the changes in Jacob, sure, but he’s already being uncharacteristically cold and distant, plus suddenly has the physique of a fit twenty-five-year-old; Bella already knows something’s very wrong. His short hair is just another jarring thing for Bella to notice and mourn, like the loss of Jacob’s “baby face” and general sunniness.

It does work as a symbolic thing, representing another sacrifice Jacob has to make and the change in how he now has to perceive himself -- but he’s already got a literal giant wolf form to represent that change in identity/self-perception. Forcing him to cut his hair too just feels like piling on. My argument here, which I hope will be supported when I discuss Lauren and Leah further in, is that it’s not just piling on, but actively punitive -- because much like Leah and Lauren are “against” Bella, the pack at large is “against” the Cullens pretty much through the end of the series.

The Quileute pack is definitely not a Cullen fanclub. The entire purpose of their existence is to destroy vampires, and the truce they have with the Cullens isn’t friendly. They still don’t particularly like or trust the Cullens even after allying with them in Eclipse, and in Breaking Dawn Sam is fully prepared to go to war against them to enforce the treaty. Bella expresses frustration with Jacob and the pack for not appreciating the Cullens more, yet is curiously less willing to scold Alice, Edward, or Rosalie when they call the Quileutes dogs and complain about their smell. (I think she might reprimand Edward for it at some point, but I don’t remember the exact passage.) Bella even starts throwing around “dog” and “mutt” as an insult herself -- I think we know whose side ol’ “Switzerland” is on, here, and whose side Meyer is on as well. The Quileutes aren’t exactly enemies, and in fact are crucial to the Cullens’ survival in both the newborn and Volutri conflicts, but they’re punished nonetheless because they aren’t wholeheartedly Team Cullen from the get-go.

So to explain why I’m so convinced that there’s a link between hair-cutting and punishment in particular, let’s talk about Lauren. There’s a definite gendered element to it this time, too -- by being tricked into cutting her hair, Lauren isn’t just diminished/shamed, but rendered (*thunderclap*) unfeminine.

Lauren Was Rude To Bella Like Twice, Let’s Humiliate Her

I think Meyer’s answer to the question “What happened to Lauren’s hair?” on her FAQ page speaks for itself:

Ha ha. I had fun imagining this one—I only wished that it had fit into the book somewhere. Lauren fell victim to the “model discovered in the mall” scam. An alleged modeling agent approached Lauren in a mall in Victoria, B.C., and told her she was a natural model. Lauren ate it up. The agent told her that if she did something edgy with her hair, and took some high quality head shots, her future was assured. Lauren followed the instructions—dropping fifteen grand on the pictures taken by the agent’s partner—and waited for her career to begin. She’s still waiting. Snort.

It’s pretty obvious that this was done spitefully. Here’s the list of Lauren’s crimes against humanity Bella at this point in the series: 1) she was jealous of the attention Bella was getting as the new girl; 2) she talked behind Bella’s back once, saying Bella might as well just sit with the Cullens now (and she isn’t wrong); 3) she eyed Bella “scornfully” the day of the La Push beach trip; and perhaps most damningly, 4) she’s blonde.

Post-haircut, she has the gall not to be thrilled that Bella’s deigning to speak to the lowly non-Cullens again, then sides with Jessica after Bella uses Jessica to make a point to her dad, is shitty company, and then risks getting them both raped and murdered in Port Angeles so she could get off on her hallucination of Edward’s voice.

I think it’s pretty common knowledge that long hair is tied to patriarchal notions of femininity and attractiveness. Women with short hair are still derided for being ugly, or assumed to be lesbians in a derogatory sense, or simply considered less feminine and therefore less desirable/worthy (because a woman’s worth depends on her desirability, after all). For many women and girls, losing their long hair -- whether because of illness, or gum getting stuck in it, or whatever -- is very upsetting and a hard blow to their self-esteem. Just look at Alice as an example of Traumatic Short Hair; her hair was shorn like that because she received electroshock “treatments” in an asylum. (Although in Alice’s case, I don’t think her having short hair is punishment, but a facet of the traumatic backstory all female characters in Twilight have to have for some reason. Plus, she started the series with short hair, which distinguishes her from the pack and Lauren, who were tricked or compelled into cutting their long hair during the series.)

But Lauren’s so bitchy, so she deserves it, right? Ha ha, she was mean to Bella and cared about her appearance too much, so now she’s ~ugly!

Leah Has It the Worst and It Makes Me Want To Burn Everything

The misogynistic aspect of hair-cutting as punishment is taken up to like, twelve with Leah. Not only does she suffer for being “against” the Cullens along with the rest of the pack (and Bella, too, so extra sinning), but she suffers uniquely for being the only female shapeshifter. A bunch of teenage boys regularly see her naked body against her will. Her previously devoted boyfriend imprints on her cousin/best friend, Sam dumps her and can’t even explain why, and the whole pack -- including her own brother -- resents her for being upset about it, even though she can’t help the lack of mental privacy. Because of that same lack of mental privacy, she has to hear every gripe the boys have about her, plus every enthralled thought Sam has about Emily while she’s still deeply wounded by their breakup.

She blames herself for her dad’s death, because she phased at the wrong time. We don’t get any indication that her fellow shapeshifters or the elders are trying to reassure her otherwise.

And of course, because she’s a shapeshifter, she has to cut her hair. In addition, because Leah’s a woman, this has the same misogynistic connotations as it did with Lauren. In Leah’s case, though, the de-feminization is compounded by her sudden infertility. It’s clear that Leah attaches her sense of womanhood to her fertility, rightly or wrongly -- she bitterly calls herself a “genetic dead end” in Breaking Dawn and thinks of herself as a freak. She feels like there must be something wrong with her, some un-womanly flaw, that made her one of the shapeshifters at all.

Then, just when Jacob starts to see her as a human being worthy of compassion, he imprints on Renesmee and doesn’t give a shit about anyone or anything else anymore. No more bonding with Leah, no blooming friendship to help her heal and come to terms with the new realities of her life. (This is one of those dropped threads that aggravate me to no end -- what was the point of having Leah opening up to Jacob, or starting Jacob on the path of realizing he was being a dick to her this whole time and that she’s a person with value, if he was just going to spend the rest of the book as Renesmee’s love-zombie and never think about it again? Disgusting.)

Leah was a lot more forgiving of Jacob than he deserved at that point in the story, for all the good it did her -- I think she’s mentioned maybe once in Book 3 of Breaking Dawn. At least she got her god-tier moment of yelling at a deranged, pregnant Bella Swan.

Speaking of Bella...

I’m just going to note, for no particular reason, that in Breaking Dawn we get to hear explicitly that Bella’s got hair that falls “almost to her waist” and that she looks like “a freaking supermodel” because she’s so “beautiful and pale.” It just strikes me as a telling contrast at this point.

#twilight renaissance #i stared too long and the twilight abyss gazed back #leah clearwater #lauren mallory #jacob black #the wolf pack #long post #i felt myself getting petty about bella okay -- i'm aware it's happening but i have no self control #i also know i sidestepped the racial element to this and it's because i don't feel qualified to speak on it #so any additions from more knowledgeable people on that score are much appreciated

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captainrexisboo · 3 years

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THE COUNTDOWN IS OVER. Y’ALL-

I’M AT 501 FOLLOWERS.

Upon reaching this TREMENDOUS milestone, I present, my dearest babe: Witcher ✨

He’s my beloved Clone OC...this is where he came from. Sorry if it reads like a DND background story. It kind of is!!! Witcher holds a very dear space in my heart, I made him while I was hurting pretty bad, threading him into my life through my Nightsister OC. These two are pretty personal to me, and I’d love to share their story with you!

Asva Strasi is an old self-insert/Star Wars DND character I played with that I’m beginning to flesh out, and her story goes hand in hand with Witcher. There can’t be an Asva without a Witcher, nor a Witcher without an Asva.

Witcher’s introduction to this blog is in V pt iv, and more info about him can be found at this ask. (Edit: also here!) Please let me know if you would like to be put on the Witcher tag list (present tags are at the bottom of the backstory)!!!

Thank you all so much with your love and support, I can’t wait to share more with you!!! I love you all!!! And without further ado, I give you:

The First Meeting

It’s the very start of the war, where Asva Strasi is a witch of the Nightsister Clan on planet Dathomir. She’s a younger witch (19 years old, 22 BBY), in the process of completing her training to become one of Mother Talzin’s assassins, she’s never known life outside Dathomir and seeks to change that. Strasi always dreamed of travelling and learning about life outside her planet, like many of her assassin sisters. One day, she was out for athletic training with her sisters. Going a little farther than usual, Strasi came across an armored body. Deciding the body was indeed a male, and close to death, she convinced her sisters to bring him back to base. They brought him to Clan Mother Talzin, who classified him as a Mandalorian based off of the signature T-shaped visor of his helmet, but other than that the armor he wore was strange. It seemed too stark, and not as decorated, not even a clan symbol to be seen. Knowing of the Mandalorians code of honor, as well as their universally praised strength and strategist mind, she thought of bringing him back to health to gain his gratitude, and push for an alliance. Mother Talzin brought her most talented witches together, and as a reward for bringing her the Mandalorian, she allowed Strasi to be a part of the ritual. Once his health was restored and consciousness gained, he was met with the gazes of Mother Talzin and Strasi. Mother Talzin began to answer his questions, and upon learning Strasi saved his life, he was extremely thankful but told them he needed to be off world immediately. He needed to return to the war.

“Ah, of course. You Mandalorians are always in one sort of war, or another. We’ll help get you home-”

“I’m not a Mandalorian ma’am. Well, not technically anyways.”

Talzin and Strasi listened to the soldier, now learning he was only a clone of the Mandalorian Jango Fett. CT-2457, not yet named. He fought alongside the Jedi, lightsiders, for the Republic.

“And who dares defy the Republic?”

“Separatists, ma’am… I’m sorry, who did you say your planet aligns with?”

“We’re a neutral planet, sir.”

Strasi answered for her Mother, assuring the clone they meant him no harm. She explained how she and her sisters' only goal for him was to take him home.

“Asva will accompany you back to Coruscant,” Talzin declared, surprising Strasi, who still had a final trial to go through before becoming a full-fledged assassin to be allowed off-world. CT-2457 left with a respectful thank you to Strasi before going with a duo of witches back to where he had landed to see if he could find any salvageable supplies that might’ve dropped from his crash along with him.

“When you get to the...what did he call it? The GAR headquarters, please extend an offer of our services to the Republic. I’m sending a group to go find and extend the same offer to whoever runs the Separatist forces. When you come home, we’ll put you through your final trial.”

Strasi takes 2457 back to Coruscant...only for them to say due to him being accounted for as deceased, he’ll have to go back to Kamino for them to decide what to do with him. Strasi sees the clone make the slightest twitch of discomfort, and before the nat born GAR officer can alert anyone to take the clone back, she volunteers her service, “I can take him to Kamino. Just let them know we’re coming. My name is Asva Strasi, I’ll be flying a Lancer-class pursuit craft, Vigilance.”

She left with the proper extension of the Nightsister’s services in the future.

Aboard the Vigilance, she spoke to 2457. A little hesitant, he opened up about life on Kamino, raised to be what they are, not who they could be.

“On my planet, males are seen as slaves. Good only for the harvest, sometimes protection, and breeding,” Strasi recounted, chuckling lightly at 2457’s uncomfortable face, “Don’t worry, I won’t treat you as such. I’m just saying, you received a very special treatment on Dathomir. If you can’t find yourself a happy place on Kamino with your brothers, please think of me as your sister. And Dathomir, a place of rest.”

She holds out a small object in front of him, a chunk of dark metal, the size of just the tip of her thumb, the point tinged green with the light hitting it just right.

“What is that?”

“A focus. I use it to help center myself in meditation, to channel my energy and thought into. And now-” she breaks it, the metal really just a shining stone, handing half of it to the clone, “-you’ll always have a part of me with you. Brother clone.”

2457 takes it gently, wary of how brittle the stone may be. He marvels at it for a moment, how the green looked to nearly be glowing, and looked back up to the kind face of the witch in front of him, nodding his head, “Sister Asva.”

She lands on Kamino, and the Kaminoans are already waiting for them, along with a couple of other clones to serve as guards.

“Would you care to tell us exactly your healing methods, miss Strasi?”

“Magicks. Nothing to leave a scar that wasn’t already formed. CT-2457 just needs to be reentered into the system so he can get back to his proper clan.”

“Magic. Clans. Dathomirians,” a different Kaminoan rolled his eyes, spitting out his words, “The primitive ideals of your planet mean nothing for us, we will need to recommission it-”

“No need, sir,” Strasi bit out, venom lacing her formal request, “CT-2457 is perfectly well, Mother Talzin saw the ritual through. Or, I’m sorry, should I word it differently? Perhaps in a way you understand? Kaminoans. CT-2457 was put through our traditional medical procedure, headed by our lead doctor, and he will need nothing more than a regulatory physical to ensure he’s fit for battle with his company again. Is that more clear, sir?”

“Young lady-”

“Am I clear?”

Before the other Kaminoan could speak again, Nala Se stopped him, putting up a hand and motioning Asva to come closer, “Stay for the physical. If anything proves to be out of place, you will be put on trial as representation for your planet, charged with tampering with Republic property. If you’re correct and nothing is wrong, we will hand you a reward and you will be free to leave. Is this fair to you?”

“Yes.”

CT-2457 was getting looks as he passed through the halls, side by side with the white haired young woman dressed in ruddy colors. He didn’t stray from her side, steps falling into line with hers. She brushed her hand against his, causing him to look down to her, to see her tapping her half of the focus against her leg. He nodded once, breathing deeply. He wasn’t sure what to do, so he just thought of the little rock stuffed in his pocket, thought about giving it his entire self, and breathed.

Before he knew it, his physical was over, passed of course, and he was waving goodbye to Strasi’s ship as it left the atmosphere. He was hounded by his vod about where he had been, what had happened, what had been done to him. He told them about Dathomir, the Nightsisters and their magick, Asva Strasi and her focus. By the end of the night, he had a name; he was Witcher.

Tags: @bad-batch-of-fics @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @vesperstalksclones @haloangel391

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shinneth · 4 years

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Spill the tea on Stevinel (just because I saw one for conniverse) And yes, I'm not on Anonymous. Because I'm a proud stevinel shipper and no one's going to stop me from loving it, also your blog is cool

And you know what? That’s the right attitude to have! People should be free to express what they ship without shielding themselves with anonymity. I don’t blame the people that do these days - antis are fucking dangerous people - but goddamn, people. It’s fiction.

So I commend you for shipping Stevinel openly and proudly! Hard to believe it’s actually considered a bold and brave move just to be open and honest about harmless preferences these days.

That said, I’m sorry it took so long to get to this. I felt you deserved an epic, given how unexpectedly successful my tirade on why Connverse is a shit ship with an undeserved golden reputation was...

But the truth is, even though I’m very much a Stevinel shipper, it’s definitely not my OTP.

And it’s very tricky for me to figure out how to spill the tea on Stevinel in a way that’s distinct from me doing the same with Stevidot.

Because, well, let’s face it: these two ships, beyond being very similar in nature, have also endured identical hardships from the fandom.

All the death threats Stevinel fans get from the raging antis for daring to ship something so “problematic/immoral/wrong/not Connverse”?

Stevidot fans have been treated that exact same way for years. And still are. For the exact same reasons.

Both Stevinel and Stevidot shippers are valid, but the fandom constantly turns a blind eye to Rebecca Sugar’s husband who also worked on the show outright saying gem x human ships are FAIR GAME.

And also turn a blind eye to the recent interview where Sugar herself stated that the gems are more like AI - a conclusion I and many others deduced ages ago just by how gems are portrayed in the show.

But by god, they’ll hang on Matt Burnett’s word that “grown gems” are a thing even though canon itself explicitly states that GEMS DON’T GROW.

Just like how despite Maya Petersen outright admitting that Aroace!Peridot is just her headcanon, people treat it like the fucking gospel now.

(no offense to anyone who’s committed to that particular headcanon - I just don’t really see it with Peridot in particular and it’s really fucking stupid to claim it’s 100% canon when the source herself explicitly said it wasn’t)

Well, it’s canon that Spinel kissed Steven and he didn’t turn into dust. And Steven was already well on his way down the path of self-destruction at this point in time; he would’ve gone monster whether this happened or not.

Also, how often does a character get the “heart eyes” expression for just a platonic love?

If there was ever a scene where Connie or Steven had heart eyes, no doubt most of the pricks would scream “YES!!!! UNDENIABLE PROOF THAT THEY’RE IN LOVE!!!”

But when it’s Spinel, suddenly it doesn’t count? Really?

How convenient.

There’s also the stupid idiots who saw the conceptual development of Spinel in that movie artbook and saw some vague color keys during a conceptual stage and claimed that Spinel was “family” to Steven - which of course must mean “related” and therefore must make Stevinel an incestuous relationship!

Which is bull. Also shit. It’s already common knowledge that gems don’t work that way. She was the designated playmate for Steven’s mother. Nothing more.

Of course, most gems who come in Steven’s orbit end up being sort of a family to him.

But everyone seems to have this impression that a gem being part of Steven’s family means they become additional surrogate mom figures.

And yeah no, that’s dumb and wrong. Garnet and Pearl are really the only ones I’d consider actual “mom figures”. Amethyst’s more of a big sister. Everyone else can vary depending on perspective, but I’ve never seen any of the other gems as anything close to a motherly figure for Steven. Any time I see shit about Lapis or Peridot being regarded as “gem moms” to Steven, I laugh my ass off. They are so not moms or any kind of authoritative figure for Steven. Bismuth at best is more of the fun-loving aunt.

There are more roles in a family than just a paternal/maternal substitute. In fact, I believe Steven has considered Connie to be part of his family well before they hooked up in canon.

(as a side-note, I love how people who are allegedly SO squicked out by age gap ships totally pardon Connverse - you guys realize Connie was 14 in Future, right? Possibly 15 depending on the time scale? There’s gonna be a point in the relative near future where Steven is 18 and Connie isn’t - why don’t I hear you assholes angst about that “atrocity”, huh?)

I honestly do consider the CG B-Team as part of Steven’s family, but more in a loose sense. But by that same token, I consider Connie as part of the family in a similar manner.

Especially since Spinel was shoved off to live with the Diamonds after the movie - and the Diamonds themselves have a very fucked-up relationship among themselves to the point where I honestly hesitate to put a familial label on it at all - it’s extra stupid to try and paint Stevinel as something with incestuous overtones when it clearly doesn’t.

Spinel does happen to be a perfect representative of how full of shit antis are about age gaps, though.

While Peridot’s age has always been left vague, we know she can’t be 5K or older due to being an Era 2 gem. Due to her utter lack of knowledge of Era 1 events (or being completely sold on the Diamonds’ propaganda) and her general inexperience with her own equipment - as well as her ability to quickly adapt to Earth - I always headcanoned Peridot as being especially young. Like, younger-than-Steven young.

Mostly because Peri’s attitude reeks of Gen Z - also because it’d be nice for a change to have a gem who isn’t thousands of years old like literally every other noteworthy gem in the show. We need a representative of gemkind who hasn’t been around for ages.

Of course, Spinel’s backstory proves that even if they went the boring route and made Peridot thousands of years old just like everybody else, it wouldn’t really mean much of anything. She’d be no less of a valid romantic option for Steven regardless of age.

Spinel is several thousands of years old, and the movie explicitly shows us what exactly that amounts to for a gem.

As I mentioned earlier, Sugar sees the gems more like AI. Spinel remaining in one spot for several millennnia, not moving an inch, not speaking to anyone, not seeing anything other than a gradually-deteriorating garden... yeah, and somehow, despite all that, Spinel’s still very childlike per her design. She had literally no room to mature or accrue life experience: Pink Diamond basically hit the pause button on her entire life.

Even though she’s several thousands of years old, through no fault of her own, Spinel’s mindset remained unchanged. It wasn’t until Steven inadvertently came into her life that she became twisted - understandably so after finally realizing she’d been abandoned by Pink.

But she still didn’t completely lose her true self. Spinel realized on her own that Steven didn’t deserve to suffer just because his mom was a negligent asshole. She also came to understand on her own that unlike Pink, Steven truly cared for her no matter what shit she threw his way.

Steven could give Spinel the care and attention she always deserved; something Pink totally denied her while deceiving her into wasting away with her abandoned playground. He could be the one to give Spinel the love she always deserved but was either denied or manipulated into believing she got.

Honestly, this is more than enough to warrant building something more between these two.

The age gap is irrelevant. The two have chemistry. They aren’t related.

(and honestly, this is fiction - these details are largely irrelevant in fiction anyway. I’m only bringing it up because it doesn’t take much research to find that every label the antis put on Stevinel is complete inaccurate Diamond propaganda bullshit)

Stevinel is FINE. Let people ship it if they want to!

Um... is that good enough?

Honestly, I’m not gonna lie: Stevinel’s pretty goddamned popular; so much that I’m a bit jealous of it. I enjoy the ship a lot, but I’ve been keeping it at arms-length all this time. I’m looking forward to when I can write my own brand of Stevinel interaction when I get to introduce her in my series, but that’s still a while to go.

Also, there’s almost zero Peridot/Spinel material, let alone my Peridot/Steven/Spinel OT3. And Stevidot material is still hard to come by; I’m noticing Stevinel’s still quite a bit easier to find by comparison.

So in a way, I feel many other unpopular ships deserve some tea-spilling sooner than Stevinel because Stevinel at least still has a sizable fanbase. Same can’t really be said for a lot of similar ships here...

A lot of this can apply to other Steven x gem ships, honestly.

But I guess I haven’t been showing Stevinel much proper love due to my devotion to my superior SU-AU. I can only hope I can soon reach a point where I can have GA Spinel react to Steven, since their dynamic will be significantly different.

(and then one day I’ll finally make the Peridot/Steven/Spinel OT3 fic!!)

Until then, I can only hope I did Stevinel some justice here!

#answered asks #ryan-spinel #stevinel #stevidot #steven universe #spinel #su spinel #shipping #spill the tea #peridot #su peridot

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axgmented · 4 years

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I don’t usually do these kinds of things but I have had my abaolute fucking fill of this cowardly, pathetic, idiotic, and immature behavior. I will be the first to admit that I don’t know who this person is, but I have known Lyly for YEARS. Nearly 6 years to be exact and she is my best friend.

This girl had a heart of gold & would give the shirt off of her back & her very last pound to anyone who needed it. She provides many role players with their own custom themes & painstakingly goes through several caps to create high quality icons for the community. She breathes life into characters that have barely any screen time or even if they are the main character, her portrayal is so fresh & so raw that it’s unlike anything I have ever seen before.

Lyrieux is the type of person who will stay up on the line with you for hours until she is certain you are okay before letting you go & the very first person to check on you the next day. She’s got several characters on this site & each one of them are an amazing gift to this community, I’m sure you will all agree. Her passion for her characters is so evident in all of her hashed out backstories & analysis of anyone she portrays but here lately, damn near a while actually, someone has been giving her regular hate for something that had happened over 8 fucking years ago.

To recap: a sad, pitiful, vengeful, sad excuse for a fucking bone & flesh pile has been sending her hate, harassing her, threatening her, & no matter how many times she tries to block said person, they will remake & do it all over again. Everyone just says delete it and move on, but this shit can only be ignored so much. Lyly has endured this for far too long and I am so fucking sick of this Rai person dragging her down. Whatever the fuck happened back then, those many moons ago, is not my business & I do not want to know but what is my business is my best friends mental health and well being and I will not fucking sit back anymore while she sobs and fears even logging into her favorite accounts.

She has done NOTHING to warrant this behaviour and it’s past the point of bullying at this point. It’s legit harassment & stalking & so fucking help me if this person keeps on doing it I will fucking make you rue the day you decided to send Lyly one fucking message. Rai, you need to grow the fuck up and move on with your life. How dare you come to a place where people use it as an escape, a resource, a place to wind down from the already stressful situations outside of this site and make it a horrible experience for them. She is allowed to come here & have fun. She is allowed to be here & use her beautiful writing as an outlet & I will NOT have you ruin her or threaten her anymore.

FF community, Lyly is a wonderful Vincent, a magnificent Nero the Sable, a marvelous Leslie Kyle, a perfect Chaos & she has provided several resources for y’all & please let her know that she is loved. That she is wanted here and that one pathetic piss ant of a coward doesn’t speak for the fandom and shouldn’t make her afraid or barter with her that if she deletes/ goes inactive on her FAVORITE BLOG, that the harassment will stop.

She usually puts “Rai” in her rules in bold, orange letters, please be aware.

#PSA;;#i am fucking DONE #i dont usually do these types of things #but i am fucking LIVID #more than fucking miffed bruv

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sup4l3e · 3 years

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I’m Crazy...

I’m insane...

I've lost the plot..

I'm hopeless..

I'm worthless..

I'm unloveable..

I'm pathetic..

I'm weird..

I'm strange..

I'm not okay...

I'm a psycho... (ok this one for me might be true... question it, go on try it! i dare you! ;0 lol)

BUT...

I AM!!!

Those are just some of the things my own mind tells me on a daily basis ... yes here it comes a blog about anxiety and depression... omg!! i know right the cliche of it all. like who hasnt written a blog about depression before ...

oh woe is me! am i right?

well... thats where you're wrong!

(before i start i want no sympathy im not writing this for the "aww's" and the "bless her" comments, i dont want sympathy or empathy ... this is simply because ive experienced and lived with depression for about 14 years and if i can help one person feel better about themselves by reading this or help someone realise that they are not alone then, well, i can rest easy tonight. If anything i want to empower people)

I lived for so many years in the dark, keeping all of this too myself and you know what it did? absolutely sweet FA apart from making me so much worse, it gave ammunition to those little voices, telling me all of the above, making them win!

i didnt realise until about 2-3 years ago that talking about my experiences and how im feeling would help.

i didnt realise until about 2-3 years ago how many other people around me were going through the EXACT same thing.

Two and a half years ago i was a completely different person, i was sheltered, i was in a very toxic relationship ... with myself. Most people would disagree, they'd say i was actually in a toxic relationship with my ex partner; but i cant blame him. Dont get me wrong he was toxic and looking back i was lucky to get out when i did, however i am also grateful too him, because he showed me exactly what i dont want in my life. and being fair to him i'd lived with my own toxicity in my mind for a good 10 years before him, so god forbid i'd give him the satisfaction of all that praise coz by god did i do a damned good number on myself without any of his help. ;)

In all honestly though, i do blame myself and my own mind, because 2 and a half years ago those little voices in my own head were the only thing i was listening to, they were winning. I wasnt listening to my family who were worried sick about me, who were practically begging me to tell them what was going on in my head, who i shut out, ignored and pushed away because i couldnt cope and you know what? they didnt deserve that at all. i live everyday regretting that i put them through that, So i now live everyday hoping to make them proud of me and live each and everyday with a promise. I do however live every day regretting that i didnt let them in earlier because if i had of i wouldnt have gone through the hell i did and i wouldnt have genuinely believed "this is what i deserve" "no-one else will love you" "no-one else wants you" "no-one cares"... i wouldnt have had too live a LIE.

The lie was people did love me, i just couldnt see it, people did care about me, i just wouldnt hear it, i needed their help, i just wouldnt speak it; because at that point in time my own mind was telling me that i didnt deserve any of that, and that nobody would ever want to do that for me. So i found sactuary in a toxic person who in the long run made me the strong person i am today because if it werent for him i'd never have the confidence in myself knowing what i overcame, and if it werent for him i wouldnt have seen my family and loved ones take charge and say "Leanne enough is enough" .. they gave me the metaphorical slap across the face i damned well needed and brought me back to reality, they categorically wouldnt allow that behaviour to carry on anymore and for that i will forever be grateful!

i made a promise to them that day that i would always tell them when i was getting low again and i made a promise to myself that day that i would keep them in the forefront of my mind in all of my decisions and i would also promise to try and help anyone else who was ever in the same position i was in.

depression is a funny old thing, everyone will experience some form of depression throughout their life, some people are genetically wired to experience it, some people will experience it from a young age, some dont experience it until very late on in life, some experience it from sad/happy/overwhelming life events, some unlucky souls just never find happiness. but no matter what EVERYONE will, at somepoint experience depression. in this blog im going to try and explain how i've learned to manage and cope with mine.

A bit of a backstory of my depression, it started around the age of 14-15, my depression. I dont know where it came from but it was right around the time of my GCSE's, college, boys, hormones, and being diagnosed with PCOS (for those of you who dont know what that is its Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) i was told at a young age of 14 that i had some sort of syndrome which "would only matter when i got older", and that i had some of the prettiest ovaries the sonographer and gyneacologist had ever seen... in hindsight that wasnt going to be the compliment i first thought it was or the dismissive statement they portrayed it and brushed it off as, at all! THAT diagnosis changed alot of my life, however i will get back to that.

As most teens do around here I started studying for my GCSE's at just 15 years old. i was so stressed out i started actually hearing a screaming voice in my head. i suffered panic attacks daily, sometimes a few attacks a day, and that is where my anxiety started and then, good old depression smashed me in the face. i found the more stressed i became, the more id hear that screaming inside my head which then lead me to thinking " holy fucking shitballs im hearing voices im actually insane" therefore leading to more anxiety and panic attacks. so much so i would come home exhausted at 4pm everyday crawl into my pyjamas and climb into bed ready to do it all again the following day. (dont get me wrong i sat most nights on msn using the latest flashing emojis for EACH and EVERY letter of the alphabet, to the point it looked more like hyroglyphics and obviously getting the colours just right with the codes to make your name and status show in a rainbow. but that was all done in pj's curled up in bed because i couldnt manage much else ... however, if my mam asks i was revising and doing my homework THE. WHOLE. TIME, not talking to my friends about how hot a certain crush's bum looked that day ha! am i right! :P xoxo)

This was all a massive thing for me to go through aswell, due to the fact my dad has mental health issues and lives with schizophrenia, so, naturally at this point, you can imagine i was picturing myself in padlocked straight jackets and padded cells, talking away to the screaming voice in my head. the funniest thing was this screaming voice wasnt saying anything nasty or bad it was just my thoughts screaming at me like everything was angry, so genuinely just everyday life thoughts but those screaming at me, like, imagine thinking "leanne dont forget to pack your PE kit" but in the voice of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket... it. was. TERRIFYING!

Anyways, so yes high school was a massive contributor, then i made the choice to leave college at 17 because i, like many others, didnt have the faintest clue what i wanted to be when i grew up (little did i know id live the life of peter pan and neverland would be my sesh house OIOI!!!) In leaving college i went into full time work, as a 'temp job' until i decided what i was going to do... unfortunately, 8 and a half years later i was still their prisoner! haha, Nah, dont get me wrong i met some absolutely amazing people in that job and i did love it but i knew at the end, if i didnt get out it was going to kill me off. I'd gotten to the point in that job that i cried myself to sleep knowing i had to go back in the next day. that place contributed alot to my depression not because it was a bad job but because id made a wrong decision and was stuck there. i had to leave.

my next massive contributor, and this is where i divulge some of my REAL heartbreaks. PCOS - Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome or what i like to call Poly fucking Cystic fucking Ovary fucking Syndrome or "lets just fuck shit up!" (no im not bitter about it at all lol) because of this shit, from the very young age of 14 (like puberty isnt hard enough - spots, hair in places you never wanted boobs growing overnight, bleeding once a month being the biggest inconvenience) i have also had to deal with weight issues, hersuitism, depression, anxiety, hormones that sent me bat shit crazy, pain, headaches, fatigue, you name it i had it. but the biggest heartbreak, being told that id always have difficulty concieving and carrying a child. Anyone who knows me, and knows me well, knows i have always wanted to be a mam. (and not the sesh mam who looks after all my drunken idiotic friends on a night out ... coz i swear thats all they ever think i do lol) I mean a real mam, to a real baby. and being told at a young age that i had the prettiest ovaries the gyneacologist had ever seen wasnt the compliment i thought it was because it turned out my ovaries were absolutely covered in cysts. And for years i have tried to have a baby but alas nothing ever happens. i've had a few close calls and ive miscarried, or at least i think i did, the test came back positive but then about 3 days after that pretty pink second line, i had the heaviest period i had ever had for around 4 hours and then my body went back to normal as if nothing happened. it broke my heart.

They say the human body is delicate and intricate and should be treated with respect... i say its a machine and its a absolute twat at times, and why should i respect what in essence has caused me heartbreak from a young age FOR NO FUCKING REASON. but hey ho... life. goes. on.

so... thats my life story or just a snippet of it. and some of the reasons why i have depression.

heres how i cope...

Well, for a long time.. and i mean a VERY LONG time i didnt. i hid it, i hid away from the world. i drank alot. i avoided family, i avoided my best friends, i avoided anything that would have brought me back to reality.

For a long time though, thats what i needed. now im not saying running away from your issues is easy and thats what you should do because its definitely not. im saying i NEEDED to do it at the time because i had no other way of coping and i NEEDED too to learn what not to do in the future. So masking, for me, was better than facing things 'alone'. In that time though, i made my issues alot worse and in fact caused more issues. it hurt my family, my friends and well hurt myself too, because in the long run i still had to sober up and i still had to deal with the same issues that got me down in the first place, i ended up in debt which contributed further too my issues. I did some very silly things which when i look back on them now i could have hurt so many people. i took an overdose of painkillers at one point around 2 and a half years ago. I felt so weak i saw no other outcome but instantly regretted doing it and made myself sick so that they came back up. i've told my mother and close friends about this previously but i think to really show how much i've learned and to reach out to anyone who is feeling the same way i did, to tell them IT REALLY DOES GET BETTER AND EASIER. i think saying that, shows my honesty throughout this post and allows for my experience and honesty really show that i want to help anyone going through the same thing.

Masking just makes the pain go away for a short period of time. learning from your pain and making it your strength is how you really overcome your own mind and depression.

It wasnt until i realised i was never alone, just how selfish and stupid id been all that time, because in masking, hiding and running away, id stupidly stopped myself from a faster recovery, less heartache, less pain and mental and physical torture. and really i stopped myself from helping others in the same position as me.

it wasnt until i learned to make my pain my strength that i truly found peace in who i am.

i still have days where those voices wont shut up, and they win and thats ok.

i still have days where i cannot climb out of bed and thats ok.

i still have days where i cry and the pain is too much and thats ok.

because i learned all of it really is ok! everyone has those same thoughts the same feelings the same illnesses. and i know that tomorrow WILL be a better day.

you just need to learn how to make it and own it as your own!

nothing has changed for me, all of those things are still true they're still real, my body hasnt miraculously healed itself, i still made poor life choices, it hasnt changed my hormonal imbalances but it has changed my mindset. it has changed my life. i made a choice to change my mindset and not let it beat me i decided to let people in. my family are my guardian angels because they never gave up on me, they dragged it out of me and frogmarched me to the doctors for the help i needed but some people dont have that support in their lives.

i'm lucky enough now, to have lived with this for long enough to know my signs, and when i know what i call, "going dark" is coming. basically when i start slipping and losing control of it again, i identify it and know how to manage it head on. unfortunately my body because of the stupid "intricate machine" i have and how broken it is (believe me the day i can swap out into an AI robot body imma sign straight up for that shit imma have me a body like Jennifer Anniston) my body however tends to go into a meltdown, i end up with more migraines, pain and infections. i also get extremely tired to the point i can sleep for a good 15-20 hours a day and thats not me being lazy (although if sleeping were an olympic sport i'd be the universal champion of it BED=LIFE) thats really me needing to reset. at that point in time when i know this is coming, thats when i reach out; i tell my friends and my family "I'm not okay" because i know now i can do that, i can talk to them.

i, personally, take medication daily, and for some reason we live in a society where people are actually shamed for doing so. i know if i dont take those 2 little tablets every day i will lose control and become a shell of who i really am. my seratonin levels drop and i practically become a robot barely functioning. so why should i be ashamed of those 2 little 'happy pills' which make me the person i want to be and know i truly am! no chemical imbalance is going to get the better of me! if i can have the help, im damned sure going to take it. along with the happy pills, aswell as alot of sleep, sunbeds, spending time with family and friends whenever i possibly can, i now have a job that i love, i also retrained as a beautician, and i love going to the gym and swimming whenever i can, ive found i can manage mine alot better. one thing that massively changed my life was limitting when i drink. i rarely go out drinking anymore and the reason is because i know deep down i will end up in a very low state afterwards. alcohol is a depressant and i wont allow that kind of thing to get me down. so now instead i choose to drink once a month if not less. i havent cut out the drink completely i just know if i want to get blinding drunk i need to be in a very happy place to do so. so i am careful where i drink, who i drink with and what i do whilst im drinking and unfortunately much to my neighbours disgust that tends to be in the house whilst singing along to whitney houston or disney songs at the top of my lungs, but thats how i know i'll not plummet the day after, and lets face it anyone whose heard me singing knows whitney had nothing on me ;)

In all seriousness though, the best advice i can give anyone living with depression is talk to someone, talk to your family, talk to your neighbour, talk to your friends, talk to your doctor, talk to your dog, your cat, the postman, the man on the bus who sits oddly close too you... just talk to anyone. tell them how you are feeling tell them your experiences. tell them what is getting to you. Find someone who you can trust, find a stranger. write it all down in a blog. video it. GET IT ALL OFF YOUR CHEST! SAY IT OUT LOUD! Just. Bloody. Talk! please!

everyones experiences with depression are different some people mask it, some people show it, some people (like me now) shout it from the fucking rooftops because im not afraid of my emotions anymore.

everyones ways of coping are different too, some people find the gym helps, some rely on medication, some rely on talking therapies... there are so many different ways of coping out there now... the only way that doesnt work is not admitting something is wrong and fighting your own mind without help, knowing something isnt right but still doing nothing about it. The only way of not coping is living a lie, you dont have to do this alone!

Basically do those things just for you, the ones you've always wanted to do! get that tattoo you wanted, quit your job, retrain, change your hair colour, buy that car, buy that dog, book that holiday.

do what makes YOU happy!

live for you and open up, people would rather know how you are feeling than see you struggle or ultimately not be here.

open up you never know someone might be feeling the exact same way you are and it could bring you closer.

but remember most importantly:

You ARE NOT Alone..

You ARE NOT Crazy..

You ARE NOT insane..

You HAVE NOT lost the plot..

You ARE NOT hopeless..

You ARE NOT worthless..

You ARE NOT unloveable..

You ARE NOT pathetic..

You ARE NOT weird..

You ARE NOT a psycho..

You ARE NOT strange..

And..

You ARE okay...

You ARE Beautiful..

You ARE Worth it..

YOU ARE Loved

i hope this helps...

thank you ☺

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iamcinema · 4 years

Text

IAC Reviews #011: Bloodstream (1985)

Let’s go back a few years close to when I made this blog, roughly 2013 or 2014.

Around this point, I was looking for some unique, weird, and obscure titles to share for the horror forums I was apart of and to make notes of to eventually add to my collection. If I was able to find names that had little to no available information on them, then I knew I was onto something special. This would often bring me to sites like TwistedAnger that sold copies and transfers of horror, exploitation, and mondo films to fill me in on elusive material that were often times obscure and never got an official release. This little search would bring me to find Bloodstream, and with the interesting cover art, I knew I had to find more about it - but much to my dismay, there was very little to be had or known about it.

Bloodstream is 1985 low-budget slasher film directed by Michael J. Murphy, whom A Slash Above has dubbed the Ted V. Mikels of the UK, which is quite the comparison. Given that there was very little to go off of with this beyond the site’s review, I was left to scratch my head a bit as to whether or not I’d be able to find the film in its entirety beyond a few clips, which only made me hungerier for more after reading the synopsis.

Our story centers on Alistair Bailey, an up and coming filmmaker who is suddenly fired from a project he’s working on by a sleazy VHS distributor named William King. Instead of the film being scraped like he thought, he later finds out that King plans on distributing the film globally and it becomes a critical hit with the home video market. Rightfully pissed by this, Bailey seeks revenge and conspires to go on a killing spree with vengeful employee in a similar manner as the deaths in his movie - only this time, the effects will be real.

This got me pretty excited to check this out, and once the film got added to Youtube a few years ago, I was quick to jump at this. As a full disclosure, I did see and review this for UTA several years ago, but the details of my experience are on the hazy side. So, I won’t count this as a retrospective review this time around, but I’ll reflect on what I can if it’s as good or bad as I remember it being all those years ago.

Bloodstream in One Gif:

So, let’s dip our toes into this one.

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But first, a little backstory about the film and what I was able to find. Going off the premise and opening alone, this one has a certain kind of tone to it, dare I say very pointed and self-aware. According to Murphy, the film was his response to distribution companies and presumably bad business experiences he’s had. Unfortunately, the film failed to be picked up for distribution before falling into total obscurity. I’ll return to this again towards the end to help wrap things up. The budget is also very low as one could expect; roughly £400 in 1985, or £1,053.02 in February 2020 (I’m not to sure what that comes out to in USD or CAD). Given the limited budget, I’m a bit surprised with what they were able to accomplish, and for that I’ll give it that much.

As far as our characters go, they were quite forgettable and the first time around I couldn’t remember who was who or what purpose they served. So, coming back into things with a fresh slate was helpful. Aside from our two focuses being Alistair and William, we have a couple others that will become topics of interest.

We have Judy, an actress brought into the flock by William whom he’s having an affair with to help advance her career. We also have Greg, a former pornstar who was brought in like Judy was to work under William. There’s also the matter of William’s family; his brother Simon, a misogynistic sleaze who has a thing for power while also being held under financial ransom by William at the company, his wife Sally, and his daughter Lisa - both of which whose dreams of being in the industry are held under William. All of this becomes important later on, which is why I brought this up. There’s also another focal character that ties this all together, that being Nikki, William’s secretary who acts as a mole and accomplice to helping Alistair get his revenge by adding fuel to the fire with her own hidden motives and intentions.

Now, with that out of the way, let’s begin.

________________________________________

As far as the story goes, it’s not all that bad, and in a way it reminds me of some tellings of Phantom of the Opera where our masked antihero seeks to get revenge on the Opera house owners who did him wrong by stealing credit for his work after being presumed dead. In a simialr fashion as the Phantom, there’s a lot of anger and malice behind the premeditated violence, and each of the murders was dragged out with a purpose in mind to send a message.

The plot moves along fast, as we’re immedately dropped into the action from the jump and the revenge scheme starts to take off within the 30 minute mark in a 73-minute film. However, it can feel like a log jam a bit with things being slowed down or padded out in the form of Alistair watching either his own movies or those from William’s distribution company. The quality of those films is pretty damn atrocious, playing on various horror film tropes and references like vampires, cannibalism, the occult, body horror, zombies, and Exorcist II: The Heretic - yeah, that happens. While it’s quite clear why these scenes are here in the first place, the run time could be shaved down to at least 65 minutes of these weren’t here.

From a technical standpoint, it’s not all that great and is overall uninteresting. The lighting is fairly poor, though I’ve seen worse. Some shots are overlit and others don’t seem to have enough, and while it doesn’t make it hard to see what’s going on, it adds to the overall cheapness. Speaking of which, the sets themselves aren’t all that remarkable either and it shows that they did their best to work with whatever they had with the budget since some of the locations feel like sound stages with black walls if it wasn’t places the crew likely had easier access to like their homes or a basic office space to rent out. There’s also a weird flickering problem where it will go from color to black and white briefly, which is a bit annoying as well.

The sound is probably it’s weakest point of everything else stacked against it, as some moments will be decently clear and others you’ll need to rewind it and try to figure out what was going on. I had to do this three times with finding Greg’s name, because I thought they were saying “Burke” for some reason. There’s also a fair amount of bad ADR going on, which is a bit laughable when it comes up. The sound quality in general just makes for a bad time with figuring out what’s going on, particularly in crowded areas where you have the background noise to deal with on top of it sounding like the actors are on the other side of the room when they’re in front of the camera. So, unless you have a good ear, you might be a tad bit lost, but it’s not on levels of Ax’Em bad.

On that note, how about the gore and deaths? While they aren’t perfect and are on the hammy side, I’ll at least give them some credit for having memorable death scenes and succeeding in what they could do for a microbudget. Some of them give me similar vibes to other slasher movies of the decade like Final Exam, Woodchipper Massacre, and Cannibal Campout, which I think helps me to enjoy them a bit more in a way. It tried, so I guess an A for effort is fair enough - especially with a particular implied off-screen death that’s quite brutal and Murphy apparently got a lot of e-mails and letters about it.

The acting is a fairly mixed bag as well, with it being mostly meh or average for the type of low budget flick where none of the actors went on to do anything else. When it comes to Judy, Greg, Simon, and the rest of William’s family, they aren’t there much to land a solid impact. So, when they get their own individual scenes where they’re on their own, there isn’t a whole lot to see to comment on about how well they hold up. They’re okay, nothing truly dreadful though. When it comes to Alistair, Nikki, and William though, that’s a different story.

While I found Alistair (and to an extent, Nikki) to be sympathetic, they didn’t do much to pull at my heart strings to get me totally revved up for the revenge sequences. The same can be said for William as well. Yeah, he’s a total sleazy, swindling bastard, but that’s about it. As a villain, he’s sort of forgettable. The writing itself is fine, which is surprising for this type of film, but the acting is stiff and doesn’t feel natural or right. I don’t know if any of the actors had prior experience given that they haven’t shown up in any other productions that I’m aware of or if a lot of the fault could be placed on poor direction. It’s a damn shame too since this could have been much better if one or both of those things could have been resolved. Plus, it could have been much darker too by pulling out all the stops since it already took plenty of risks with the aformentioned death scene and the social commentary it addressed. But we’re 35 years too late for that now.

To return to something I said at the start regarding Murphy’s intentions behind the film, much of this is heavily reflected in Alistair’s characterization where he brushes off the films produced by William’s company as “garbage”, and rambles about censorship, on-screen violence, and belittling distribution companies during the final showdown between him and William. Subtlety isn’t in this film’s dictionary, even more so towards the end where it raises the question about whether or not horror movies and the media contribute to real-life violence; much akin to other later films like Video Violence and Woodchipper Massacre. Yeah, it’s not an original concept at all and it’s been no stranger to us since the turn of the century or even for the time when the Satanic Panic and PMRC Senate case was going on, but it’s nonetheless fun to see how different artists handle the topic at hand.

________________________________________

So, what are my thoughts on this one? Well, I’m torn.

Back when I reviewed this in 2015, I was rather harsh on it for how low the quality was and that the acting was subpar at best. It left so much to be desired, as it could have been much bigger if it was given better resources to shine. I’d like to think there’s some other timeline where this could have been the success that Murphy wanted it to be, rather than his least favorite film he’s directed and ultimately faded away into obscurity - fulfilling its own prophecy in a way to become Bloodstream decades later.

With that being said, I think my old rating of 3/10 was a bit much. It’s no gem or masterpiece in any way, which again, is the sad part. But, it’s also not a total disasterpiece. If all the pieces fell in the right spot, this would be an easy 7.5/10 for me at the very least. However, with the technical issues and wooden acting, I’d give this a 4.5/10 to be on the generous side. If a day ever comes where someone wanted to do a faithful remake of this to show what we could have had, that would make for a fun night. If you want to give it a watch some time, it’s up on Youtube and it makes for a decent popcorn flick.

Rating: 4.5/10

#bloodstream #film #horror #horror movie #horror movies #horror film #iac reviews #horror review #film review #uk horror #euro horror #slasher #80s horror #80's horror #1980s horror #1980's horror #low budget filmmaking #low budget horror #michael j murphy

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black-clover-incorrect-quotes · 4 years

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Yo there! Can you tell us about your personal ranking of the Black Bulls and why?! (bytheway I wanted to say thanks for your great efforts with this lovely blog and I hope you've a wonderful day/night whenever you are!)

Hey there. Thank you for your ask, Anon!!! I’m glad that you enjoy my blog and i hope you have a wonderful day or night as well!!

Ranking the Black Bulls is difficult, especially because I don’t have a reason for liking or disliking a character most of the times, it’s just...well, simply how much they make me feel...if that makes sense? Anyway, for this very reason I change my mind very often and this ranking might not be the same I could do next week lol. I’ll try not to write an essay for every character.

1) Finral. He’s very reletable (If I were to fight crazy people with crazy magic I’d probably want to run and hide too), he’s so nice despite the fact that he had it rough. He’s honesty really funny and was in some of my favourite moments/fights

2) Magna. The first Black Bull that Asta bonded with. I thought he would be the third memeber of the main team at the beginning (with Asta and Noelle) and, honestly, I still wish he could get to team up with them again. He tries to put up this cool guy/delinquent act but in truth he’s just too nice.

3) Luck. He’s a baby (What do you mean he’s 18??). When Asta cancels the reincarnation spell and he cries?? And ask if he’s part of the Black Bulls?? Yeah, I’m not crying just thinking about it.

4) Charmy. She’s a brilliant comic relief character because in most anime they get annoying and are barely funny but Charmy makes me laugh everytime. Besides, she’s much more than just that. I hope we’ll get to see more of her past because she’s an interesting character.

5) Noelle. To tell you the truth, I disliked her. A lot. I thought she would be a generic female anime character that couldn’t do anything in a battle and had to rely on her crush for everything. So I was so positively surprised when they showed how kickass she actually is! I usually don’t rate character based on how strong they are but she’s kind of an exception for this reason. Besides she has a very good character growth, from looking down on everyone to being proud to be a Black Bull.

6) Asta. I liked him from the very start, despite how loud he was. It makes me happy to see him achive his goals by working hard. I also like how much he cares and relies on his friends and the wholesome rivality he has with Yuno (compared to other shonen *coughs* naruto and sasuke *coughs*).

These were the ones I love/ like. Now the ones I’m neutral about.

7) Yami. He has some emotional scenes (like Julius’s death), interesting past, he’s a good captain and his ‘surpass your limits, here and now’ is a nice catchphrase. But he also annoys me sometimes, because the “strong, silent, rude” type of character isn’t my thing.

8) Gordon. I feel bad for him because he wants some friends but no one ever talks with him, so that’s kind of sad. But to be honest he’s one of those characters that don’t make me feel any strong emotion.

9) Gray. Same as with Gordon, she’s okay but I don’t feel strongly for her, nor positive nor negative emotions. I like her powers, though. If they wanted to, they could make some kickass combo attacks.

10) Henry. You must feel bad for Henry. I think there aren’t many Black Bulls with such a sad backstory. But I still feel like they pulled him out of nowhere and doesn’t really makes sense that no one, ever, except Asta knows he’s there. Also it takes me a while to warm up to knew characters that join an already enstablished team such as the Black Bulls.

Now for the characters I dislike. If you like them, I’m sorry, I don’t have many good things to say about them so skip this bit if you want XD

11) Vanessa. Does she do anything but sleep and drink? Even after she power up, the cat does everything, she doesn’t even have to do that. She had one good fight with Finral and Asta against Vetto, but that’s it.

12) Zora. Just like Henry, it takes me a while to warm up to new character and I disliked that he turned out to be a Black Bull (even though he has a good reason why no one knew about him at the least). Besides, I don’ t really like his personality, he’s too much of a jerk, even if he’s just screwing with people and means well. However I love what he says at the end of thier battle against Langris. That bit makes me emotional.

13) Gauche. He’s just...no. Besides his unhealty obsession with the sister, he’s a stright up jerk with everyone and he genuinelly tried to kill Asta because he dared speak to Marie? That’s too bad because he has my favourite backstory out of the Black Bulls, but his personality is too much to handle.

SPOILERS FROM THE MANGA

Secre: I didn’t include her in the list because most people might not know who she is. Still warming up to her as well, but I was pretty fond of Nero (trivia: Nero means ‘black’ in my language, Italian, as well). so it was a shock to see him..err her turn into a girl. But I liked her, she would be around Asta’s ranking.

Thank you again for the ask, Anon. Have a good day!

#I ened up not adding the read more #Because I can't use the desktop version #Rip #Ask

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queenharumiura · 4 years

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The nerd friends: Komui and Shugarl

Send me a ship and I will grade it: ||Still accepting||

A: I love it

I mean truly I should give it the A+: OTP status, but I feel like that only goes for canon ships on the blog. They are friends, so it can’t be an OTP status technically speaking, yanno? Who knows if this may change, I’m not sure-- but given the way their interactions are panning out-- I feel like it will happen eventually. kek.

So--- Komui and Shugarl are both... nerds to put it quite simply. They’re nerds in the truest sense. Komui is a lil on the eccentric side while Shugarl is just... a stoic and hateful sort of man. He doesn’t like other people and he doesn’t care for them either. He’s very jaded, which makes him like this.

From what I remember of Komui, he’s pretty messy, but he manages to get stuff done. He seems to maybe run away or procrastinate from his work sometimes, resulting in his secretary type person having to make him get it done. Komui just likes to enjoy life to it’s fullest, but he doesn’t neglect his own duties.

He has to do a good job, else Lenalee won’t be very happy about it. He has to work hard for her sake as well. Komui is very protective of her and he loves her greatly. This is something that Shugarl can relate to as canonically, Jupiter is the only one he cares about. He died for her sake, after all. [he does revive, but- yeah.]

Shugarl is very stoic and ‘cool,’ but he’s also got a lot of lame moments too. He’s just too proud and he always has to keep his appearances up. He’s also stupidly very vain and absolutely brags about his intelligence. I’ll never forget he went into the kitchen, kicked out the chef, and cooked his own meal bc he thought the chef did a bad job.

Then of course, he gives Jupiter a special extra treat in her meal-- like the BIASED BROTHER HE IS.

It’s funny since when he heard Ponsol was defeated, it was basically a: “Ha, so useless, I guess that means I can expect something out of Kucabara.” He’s cruel and ruthless, known to torment even children. He’s a ‘well respected’ demon. Ironically, he does care about the rules and being proper. Going into the human world to kidnap humans when it’s against the law was something that actually pissed him off because it throws off the balance between the worlds.

You can’t do that! We’ve seen canonically that he uses math to determine when you can travel between the worlds. If you throw off the balance, it throws off the math. I reason it’s like physics. How dare someone throw off physics? The INFIDELS.

Jupiter was a great influence on him though. He grew to realize there is more to life than math (lol). He learned to care for other people and what not. As one would expect-- that’s hard to work into a human verse. Hence, I did what I could to make it work so it is close enough to canon, but also somewhat reasonable from a logical standpoint. That’s why I gave him the past that I did.

A few elements are misc but I thought it is the background necessary to give him the personality that he has. Where he’s untrusting and he doesn’t care for the world around him. All he values is intelligence. He looks down on the unintelligent. Jupiter truly is a good influence on him.

Komui is an intelligent man, and Shugarl would respect that about him. I believe Komui respects that of Shugarl as well. They both understand the way the other feels about thier sister figures. Shugarl truly does dote on Jupiter in his own way. There is no canon info on Shugarl’s family aside from he is a highclass demon (due to his shinigami status) and that he has a brother, Ponsol (who is also a shinigami). Other than that... nothing.

I gotta do everything myself in this household;;;

Anyways, so yeah, my DD muses are highly HC’ed and uh... adjusted. Jupiter’s backstory had to be adjusted bc I adjusted the other two so they had human stories. //sighs

So yeah, the two guys first met and respected each other. Then they both started to bond over their mutual nerdiness, and their love to dote on their sisters. I think the fact that Komui doesn’t judge Shugarl for anything really means a lot to Shugarl. He also likes to tease Komui bc lol he’s an ass.

Komui-- it seems that he treasures Shugarl’s friendship because Shugarl also doesn’t care for any superfluous stuff. If you’re smart, that’s all that matters. He doesn’t judge Komui for his weird actions or for how much he cares for his sister. Shugarl is caring in his own way and Komui understands that.

Shugarl is also conscientous in ways, and I think from that, mutual understanding, trust, and respect came about. That’s how they became really good friends. They do say that sometimes the best couples are also the best of friends. I think if they were to be in a romantic relationship together, it would go well. Komui did comfort Shugarl that one time he was having one of this episodes and Shugarl really did appreciate that. So I think they’d have a good dynamic. The only thing is that Shugarl would question whether he has anything to bring to a relationship. All he has is a lot of emotional baggage and that would bother him a lot. I’m sure Komui would comfort him and tell him that he brings him good company and all that.

I’m sure they’d do their best to support each other in regards to life and work. They’d know how to have fun with each other, not worrying about boring the other (bc of similar interests), their family/friends would get along with each other [Ponsol: pending], and idk they just have such a comforting air around the other.

They’d be good to each other. If someone dared to bully one of them, the other would certainly get very angry and retaliate in some way or another, kek.

#Friendlyneighbourhoodscientist #meme answered #answered ask #thanks for the ask!#Neo speaks #((I got one more left from you to answer and i'll be done! I may get to it later today or another day))

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thecorteztwins · 4 years

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what are some under used marvel female characters youd love to see in the rpc?

HMMMOkay, so I’m trying to think OBJECTIVELY here and not just rattle off the female characters that I personally like, and more “I’m surprised that there’s not more blogs for this character, whether or not I personally am a fan” ....because I missed the “you’d love to see in the RPC” bit because I’m dumb, and then I wrote this whole list without regards for that part. So this came out as less “female characters I personally want” (who would all be stupidly obscure and irrelevant anyway) and more “female characters I think the RPC should give some more love to, whether I personally am into them or not”:Definitely ALL the girls in the New Mutants and Generation X! I see a fair few blogs for Magik and Jubilee, but I really don’t see any for the others. I get why Magik is going to be more popular---she’s in more stuff, she’s currently much more relevant in the comics, and her backstory is so goddamn compelling---but that doesn’t mean the others shouldn’t have ANY blogs out there. Wolfsbane, Magma, Karma, and Moonstar are all extremely complex and compelling characters with their own struggles and triumphs too, and I think they deserve just as much love. Likewise, I get why Jubilee will naturally get more blogs than Husk, Monet, and Penance (depending if you count Penny as a separate character or not...) due to her being in more stuff, having bigger arcs, etc. But it still surprises there’s NO blogs around for those ladies! I know there was that Monet blog awhile ago, and @badmusesdoitwell had an Amara that’s now part of their multimuse, as well as a Rahne, but that’s still nowhere near enough love in the RPC for these Junior X-Ladies, in my opinion. Speaking of Generation X, I’m also a bit surprised no one has picked Cordelia Frost up, given that we’ve got plenty of background canon for her via Emma’s history yet Cordelia herself has LOTS of room to go nuts with headcanons, like it’s just the perfect opportunity! And I’m sure lots of Emma blogs, of which there are MANY, would love their little sister around for some family threads. Fuck, I would pick her up myself if I were more into Emma and the Frost family as a whole. She’s hardly the most relevant, recent, or even interesting character around, she’s done very little and shown up very briefly, but the fact she’s related to Emma Frost makes me think SOMEONE would have an interest in her.Madelyne Pryor, for sure. Like, I love Maddy, but it’s not just my favoritism talking here. I think she’s pretty decently well-known in the comics fandom, and she’s a tragic villain, which usually pulls people in big-time. She’s got a grudge against the good guys, and it’s actually more legitimate than most, which I’d think would also attract people, since a lot of villains fans like to blame the good guys no matter what and THEY’D ACTUALLY HAVE A GOOD ARGUMENT HERE? Plus she has very strong connections to other, more popular canons, with a ton of fodder for angst and drama threads, which people just LOVE. I have seen a few Maddy blogs pop up in the past, and I always get so excited, but they never seem to last very long :CDr. Moira MacTaggert deserves ALL the love and respect in the world/fandom! She’s been a staunch supporter of mutants since day one, she’s a total badass, she’s super smart, she calls Xavier out on his shit ALL THE TIME, she’s the survivor of an abusive husband, she had to make terrible choices about her son that no mother should ever have to and then live with the consequences of those choices, and SHE GOES AFTER A KELPIE WITH A GODDAMN MACHINE GUN! She’s been a part of the X-Men comics for such a long time, and is very significant in them, it really surprises me that I’ve never seen a blog for her besides just ONE and it was for the XMCU sexy American CIA agent Moira, who is NOT Moira in my book and NEVER WILL BE. Speaking of, Moira will ALWAYS be human to me, I think making her a mutant all along REALLY undermines a big part of her character as just an unyielding mutant ally. Though I think her being human, combined with being an older female who isn’t anyone’s love interest (unless she’s, gasp, getting in the way of CHERIK aka the ultimate fandom sin how dare she the harlot -.-), is probably WHY she’s so damn ignored -.-Frenzy hasn’t been in THE most recent stuff, but she’s still been relevant recent enough that I think one or two blogs around would have happened if she weren’t black. Yeah, I hate to be THIS person, but any black character who isn’t Storm doesn’t get love, for all that the RPC likes to yell about being diverse and progressive. Remember all the Captain America and Iron Man and Hulk and Quicksilver blogs that popped up after their movies? Yeah I saw like ONE T’challa blog after Black Panther came out. Then again, I’ve yet to see blogs for Pixie or Firestar either, who are white, and I feel like they both were fairly interesting and well-known in fandom? Same for the Academy X girls like Sofia Mantega, Mercury, and Wallflower. Luna Maximoff FOR SURE. It SHOCKS me I haven’t see more than a couple short-lived blogs around for her, just given her family connections. Now, I don’t think a character deserves love just because of who they’re related to---in fact it annoys me when a characters gets a ton of attention and it’s very obviously just for that---but Luna has SO MUCH going on? The problems between her parents, her mother being absent so much, her father exposing her to the Mists, dealing with her powers, being a child of two very different worlds and cultures, it just goes on and on. Luna has had to grow up so fast, she’s such a strange and stoic child as a result, and though her situation is very fantastical, having to be the mature one at an early age because all the adults in your life won’t be is something a lot of people have to cope with and I think would find relatable; I especially love how she lives in this world where there’s no bad guys, like neither Crystal nor Pietro were the villains in her situation, just hurting messed up people, which she also recognized in Magneto and maybe also even Maximus . And there’s so much that could be explored with her too that hasn’t been in canon yet---for instance, her choice to identify with her Inhuman heritage and why that is, and the journey of identifying with your heritage but also looking at the horrible things in their history, I think that’s a story that a LOT of people from MANY backgrounds can relate to. It surprises and frustrates me that both writers and fandom don’t really seem to care about her or remember she exists; one the only two blogs I ever saw for her seriously got someone asking them “why would you make such a weird OC” like SERIOUSLY! Luna needs more love, big time. Any female Avenger that’s not Wanda or Natasha. I don’t read Avengers, I’m just an X-Men fan, but I know they exist and they shouldn’t have to be in a movie to get love. Ditto for She-Hulk, I’m not a Hulk reader but I know she’s a prominent character who has been around a long time and has a very developed personality and stories of her own, yet I’ve only ever seen her on @getreadytosmash‘s multi. I’ve also never really read Alpha Flight, but its main ladies ---Snowbird, Aurora, Vindicator---all seem awesome in their own different ways. Alpha Flight isn’t very popular to begin with, of course, so I don’t expect them to have as many blogs as, say, major X-ladies, but I think one apiece or so would be very justified.KWANNON!! I actually get why we didn’t have any blogs for her BEFORE now, because we knew NOTHING about her, she was just a very tragic prop for Betsty’s body-swap plot and a way to give her insta-ninja-skills, but now she’s come back and has HER OWN NEW SERIES in which we’re finally learning who she is and her background, I hope to see a blog or two around for her eventually!Destiny aka Irene Adler. Like. Do I even need to explain WHY? I think people just don’t want to play an OLD woman, especially one whose primary/only ship is going to be with another woman.Maaaaybe Clea Strange? I don’t know shit about her, never read Dr. Strange, but like, people make blogs for Sigyn literally just because she’s Loki’s wife, and Clea at least seems to like...DO stuff? IDK, not sure on this on, but figured I’d make an honorable mention.Siryn, Boom Boom, and Dr. Cecilia Reyes are all X-Ladies that I really don’t know much about. Like I know basic things like their powers but I don’t know their story arcs and such. But as with Clea and the Avengers ladies and She-Hulk, I just have a HUNCH there’s a lot there getting ignored by fans.Silhouette Chord is a longtime member of The New Warriors, and, like Alpha Flight, New Warriors doesn’t really have a fanbase on Tumblr to speak of, so it’s not surprising to me she’s not got any love here. And even within the pages of her own comics, she’s generally pushed aside, underused, and underdeveloped compared to the other characters, generally more a prop for her boyfriend’s stories than anything else. But she DOES have a personality, a REALLY cool backstory, and she’s like...look, the RPC claims to love diversity and representation and all that, right? Silhouette is a mixed-race WOC (half Black, half Cambodian, and I have NEVER seen another Marvel character of Cambodian heritage who wasn’t connected to her) who is also very visibly physically disabled, her legs are completely paralyzed and she is never without her braces/crutches, yet she still fights PHYSICALLY (something very rare for physically disabled characters, they usually are more like Oracle or Prof X) and is depicted in a sexual relationship, and there’s never any kind of fuss or angst about it or anything treating her as delicate or less than or anything like that. She’s just completely adjusted to it in a way that’s very rare in media. And like I said, she’s not a flat character, I’m not saying she should be more popular just for ticking off the diversity boxes, she manages to be really intriguing to me despite how little focus the writers give her, and I think that she and the other New Warrior girls (Firestar and Namorita) have a lot to offer the RPC. But I have to give a special shoutout to Sil since she’s my fave, as the neglected ones alway are.Meggan Puceanu is probably most familiar to folks here as Kurt’s love interest in Age of X, but she’s been around since the 80s. She’s a longtime member of Excalibur, and she’s just...fascinating. She’s a Romanichal mutant (though often hinted to have magical/mystical heritage too, perhaps fairy like Pixie) who has empathic, elemental, and shapeshifting capabilities. However, her empathic and shapeshifting tend to overlap, so she changes her form (and her mind) according to the feelings, fears, and desires of others. So for instance, there’s this one time where a group of men are checking her out, and she feels that “They love me...I want...to love them in return!” and she morphs into this sexxed-up version of hersef on the spot. This isn’t played for kinkiness or laughs either; Meggan’s identity struggles are a HUGE part of her character. She has no idea who she is because her powers make her reflect and respond to the feelings of others around her, internally and externally. She doesn’t even know what she actually really LOOKS like because of this; her powers were present since birth, causing her to grow fur instantly as an infant due to it being winter. This caused her parents to keep her locked up in the camper trailer, where she was raised alone with the TV (she’s also illiterate, which causes her to feel dumb a lot) and as more and more people around her spread rumors about the monstrous child inside, she psychically absorbed those beliefs and her physical form changed to reflect them, making her more and more monstrous as she got older. She didn’t know she was a shapeshifter, she just really thought she was a hideous monster. And even when she found out the truth, she STILL didn’t know what she really looked like, as the beautiful form she took on (basically Pamela Anderson with elf ears) was to please her boyfriend Captain Britain (whom she is really unhealthily dependent on starting out because of her situation)Meggan is insecure, she doesn’t know who she is, she has to cling to a man in order to have anything because no one else has ever loved her, she easily becomes jealous of other women near him, she gets made fun of for being a bimbo and she often feels she is because she can’t read or understand “clever words” due to her isolated upbringing...and she gets through this! She develops! She becomes STRONGER and she becomes SECURE and she gains CONTROL of her powers and SHE KICKS ASS and she FORMS AN IDENTITY! And then Meggan SACRIFICED HER LIFE to buy time for Captain Britain, Psylocke, and Rachel Summers to repair the tear in reality caused by House of M. She ends up lost between dimensions and TRAPPED IN HELL, where she uses her empathy to rally the lesser demons against THE LORDS OF HELL ITSELF and wages a war IN HELL for which her demon followers dub her “Gloriana” and she forms a sanctuary there called “Elysium” where souls can escape torment! AND THEN SHE FINDS HER WAY HOME!THIS WOMAN KICKED ASS IN HELL AND WON!! Like she just goes through SUCH an arc, and I admit I have not read it myself yet, she’s on my list of characters to read EVERYTHING on and I’m still only familiar with her very insecure Excalibur days (which I love a lot, I just feel so much for Meggan and her struggles, I think she’s very much a reflection of a LOT of real-world issues, ranging from mental illnesses to just EXISTING as a woman) but I already have a ton of feelings about her and I think she’s more than prominent and accomplished enough to merit more attention in the RPC. And this is less of an “actually has reasons the RPC should love her” character, because really there’s no reason they should, she’s not prominent or relevant or or anything, but more an interesting “did you know”---did you know there was a “young female Wolverine clone” in the comics BEFORE Laura Kinney? Avery Connor! She pre-dates Laura by a year and has a VERY similar story, yet she never took off in popularity and very few people know her. You can read about her HERE on my Marvel blog. Again, would not say there’s actually any reason she’s earned love from the RPC like, say, Meggan or Luna, but I just thought I’d toss that in as a tidbit for the Logan family fans, as I know there are many.(Also, cheating because these are dudes, but: I’m not a Banshee fan but I am surprised I’ve never seen a blog for him, nor for Sunfire. Or for 616 Pyro. Or...)

#marvel #marvel rpc #xmen #x men #out of cortez #shattered-catalyst

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birdybirp · 4 years

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Birdy’s OC: Fae

I’m writing down everything about the OCs that I have, and I’m going to compile them on my blog. I can’t draw, so I’ll be including picrews that I have made over the last year or so. Unfortunately, I didn’t save what picrews I used, but they serve to give a good visual of my girls.

I’m also putting most of this under a read more to not clog up everyone’s feed.

Fae is the first OC I made and the first I wrote about! She’s also the only one I’ve written smut about oops. Her published stories aren’t my favorite because they’re my first shots at fanfiction ever, so I feel they’re a little clunky. But you can read them if you want?

No One Else:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17963174/chapters/42426353

How Can You Feel Unlovable? (18+):

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18047837

She’s grown a lot since I last wrote about her in April 2019 (oh my god) so it’s time to talk about the actual fairy princess.

Name: Fae Willows

Race: Half Fairy (unbeknownst to her)

Age: 26

Birthday: June 24th (Midsummer)

Height: 5’5”

Hair color: Red

Eye color: Grey

Character color: Green

Other appearance related things: Fae always wears chokers. She feels like she doesn’t have a defined chin so she needs to wear a necklace otherwise she feels like her chin just melts into her neck and looks gross.

Fae’s mother Lorelai is very important to Fae’s story. If you don’t know who that is, her profile is here:

https://just-here-for-copia.tumblr.com/post/190669667276/birdys-oc-lorelai

Backstory:

One of the many children of Lorelai, Fae was the smallest out of all of them. Weak and feeble. Lorelai also said she was probably the ugliest. Not good enough to be her future body. So she was abandoned on the steps of her father’s house when she was only a few months old.

Her father, Robert (Bobby) Willows, was only 20 at the time, but he took in his daughter and tried to raise her the best he could. With no wife, he moved into his mother Margaret’s home. Margaret had been a widow for five years, and Bobby was her only son, so she was happy to have the company.

Fae’s father died in a car accident when she was 2 years old. She doesn’t remember him at all, but her grandmother kept pictures all over the house. He was a painter, and Margaret kept his room exactly how it was on the day he died, so Fae came to know him through his art. Her grandmother tried to keep her from pursuing art to keep her from being the starving artist that her father was, but a kind teacher gave Fae art supplies and then there was no stopping her.

Margaret was a very devout Satanist. Fae was a casual believer, but she still followed along to services. Papa Nihil and Sister Imperator helped Margaret a lot when her son died, so they had a friendly relationship. They got even closer when Margaret, determined to find the woman who abandoned her grandchild and broke her son’s heart, discovered Fae’s mother was Lorelai.

The three of them came into an agreement to keep Fae under the protection of the church as much as possible. Lorelai wouldn’t dare set foot onto any Emeritus grounds because she would be detected immediately. Which is how Fae ended up with her job.

Nihil approached Fae, saying he had seen one of her paintings, and wondered if she would be so kind as to touch up a few older pieces around the church? This slowly grew from fixing paint chips to full on art restoration. Fae found a passion for preserving works that would otherwise be lost. Satanic art hasn’t been well received in any time period, so some things have been badly damaged. Fae studied every technique on art preservation that she could find and was surprised that she had a natural talent for it. She was patient and had a strong eye for detail.

A few years into her working with the church, Fae stepped down from the job when her grandmother got very sick. She was old, fragile, and Fae didn’t know how to take care of her. She listened to doctors and did the best she could, but it wasn’t enough. After four years of trying to keep her alive, Margaret passed in her sleep. Watching the only family she had slowly dieabsolutely destroyed her. She felt a kind of loneliness that hurt her down to her bones.

Before Margaret died, she had made arrangements for Nihil and Imperator to take Fae in as a Sister once she passed. It was her last request of Fae, and it was probably the best thing for her. She had spent so long caring for someone else that she didn’t know how to care for herself. Nihil gave her back her old job, complete with a workshop of restoration tools the church had purchased over the years Fae was gone. She was very grateful for the distraction.

But, as the weeks turned into months, she found that four years doing nothing but taking care of a sick old woman had stunted her ability to socialize.Sisters usually joined the church in groups at designated times of the year, but Fae was pulled in right when her grandmother passed, so she had none of the bonding moments Sisters usually had when they were first entering their servitude to the church. Everything on top of that her agonizing heartache at losing her grandmother made Fae anti-social and awkward. It was hard to speak to anyone. She currently passes her days by going to classes, working in her shop, and going to sleep. Rinse and repeat. She may have gone days without saying a single word and didn’t notice. But she’s trying when she can.

She had a good conversation with the Cardinal when she went to ask him for a book. He seemed nice. She felt a little better after that.

Fun facts about Fae:

She is a natural blonde. Like, platinum blonde. She cuts it all off and dyes it red because apparently the only thing her father ever said about her mother was how long and beautiful her hair was. Fae doesn’t like to be reminded of her.

She also shaved down her eyebrows and got multiple ear piercings after her grandma passed away. She doesn’t really know why. Some weird act of rebellion she never did when she was younger, probably.

She can keep any plant alive. Her room in the abbey doesn’t have windows, but she has half a dozen plants that are thriving even without sunlight. When asked how she does it, Fae shrugs and says she doesn’t do anything out of the ordinary.

Animals love her. They tend to gravitate towards her and it makes her really happy. She loves making animal friends.

She’s noticed her eyes seem to be changing? They have always been light grey, looking almost devoid of color. She might be seeing things wrong, but she’s seeing more color there. More of a faint brown? Weird.

What percentage of me is in Fae?: Fae is pretty much my self insert? She’s gotten farther and farther away from that with time. She’s like 85% me at this point.

I also like to play around with scenarios where Fae grew up with Lorelai, so here’s a natural haired Fae!

#oc #original character #original characters #fae #my ocs #those of you who know Fae will be surprised that I finally gave her a last name #only took almost a year

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