Tumgik
#hence those song choices
wandascrush · 8 days
Text
Let the light in
Tumblr media
Summary: The Avengers are separated after being hunted down and forced to live life on the low, causing a painful break up with the love of your life. What happens when she finds you again? Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!reader
A/N: Based off of this request
Warnings: Angst, violence, loneliness, blood, breakup, team separated, depression, kissing, comfort
Song: Let the light in- Lana Del Rey
The team sat around the dark living room, the familiar voice of one of New York's most famous news anchors echoing in through the air, “Good evening New Yorkers, today we open our headline with some shocking news:  Former Stark enterprise building, located on the upper east side, exploded earlier today by a missile attack on the Avengers. Sources say Tony Stark was currently using it to house new plans for an updated Avengers training arena and larger compound.  Two architects, three investors, and one security manager was injured. Two of the victims later succumbed to their injuries after the explosion. Reports confirming the source of the violence are still unknown, however the Avengers were believed to have been inside the building at the time- hence the attack. The founding members of the Avengers Initiative such as Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Thor Odinson, Y/N L/N, and Clint Barton have yet to speak out. This marks the second targeted attack on our world’s heroes in nearly a month since the Maximoff twins incident in Barbados, where Pietro Maximoff was nearly assassinated. It raises the question for us all: Are our heroes being hunted?” 
The screen went black, bye bye news lady. The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. “What’re we gonna do Tony?” You got no answer. 
 “Cap?”  
For the first time in the decade you’d known the team, (except for the Maximoffs & Peter) you saw uncertainty in all of their eyes. Tony threw his classic sunglasses on the couch, squeezing the middle of his nose in a useless attempt to massage an oncoming headache away, “Fury… thought it’d be wise if we split up for awhile-,” he was quickly shut up with protests from the group.
“It’s too dangerous. This isn't easy for me, but we're facing a threat that's beyond anything we've encountered before. I've crunched the numbers, run simulations – the Avengers need to disband temporarily. We scatter, go off the grid, and regroup when the dust settles.”
“This is bullshit, Tony. You know it is. This is exactly what they want-” 
“Tasha,” your gentle touch on her back always softened her heart, but not today. She didn’t even look at you. 
“It’s not the end, Nat. It’s like a strategic retreat. We're ensuring we'll live to fight another day. For once, I’m with Stark on this. We play it safe, keep low profiles, and spread out,” Steve sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees and taking a hard look at everyone, “we’re family, we keep each other safe. And this is how we do it.” 
As much as the idea made your stomach churn, he was right. He always was. This was your family. Every holiday, happy memory, laugh and cry and battle and bruise was all with them. This team is how you met the love of your life. You loved each other, and if this is what needed to happen, then you’d do it. 
But that didn’t sit well with your girlfriend. 
“No, end of story. We’re not separating.”
“You know I don’t think it’s just you’re choice, Natasha. I mean we have to decide this together,” your fingers lightly brushed the edge of the bed, nervously playing with the soft sheets you had just bought.
“Exactly, and I. Said. No.” She was acting like a stubborn toddler that didn’t want to eat her veggies, crossing her arms and raising her voice an octave.
It was then when you saw something different in her eyes, those beautiful green orbs that held so much sadness and joy at the same time. But today they were cloudy, like a storm was brewing in her mind. You gently slipped off of the bed and stood in front of her, pressing your forehead to hers, “You know it’s going to be okay, right?” soft palms caressed the side of her cheek, immediately feeling her sigh into your touch. “It’s going to be okay, you’ll see.” You wish your words were true. 
    Two months later the Avengers were spreading out all across the U.S., saying choked up goodbyes and packing your things. It was agreed upon that there’d be a team meeting once a month, every month, for the next year until you could figure out who the threat was, and how to eliminate them. You thought San Francisco sounded nice, fresh, and a little more peaceful than the hustle and bustle of New York. And it was, for a time. You got a haircut, dyed your gorgeous h/c locks to a rich h/c shade. You bought a sweet little home with a bay window over looking the Golden Gate Bridge, started building an in home gym and library, and kept an extremely low profile. You finished file work and other Avengers paperwork at home, with a high security grade laptop. Natasha on the other hand, refused to dye her hair, or keep a low profile. She didn’t want to admit that she was depressed, but it was glaringly oblivious. Being thrown out of her comforting routine put a wrench in Natasha’s life that not even you, her beautiful girl, could fix. All day she would do her paperwork, workout, and just keep to herself. It was like you weren’t even girlfriends anymore. Finally, in the fifth month of living “undercover,” she finally agreed to go on a low key date with you to a small, cozy bar on the outskirts of the city. You got dressed up for the first time in what felt like forever, did your makeup real pretty, and even did braids on Natasha’s silky hair. She looked happy, finally. Adorning a brown leather jacket, dark blue jeans, and a low cut green top- her classic silver arrow necklace sitting pretty on her chest- your girlfriend looked like her old self again...absolutely perfect. 
“You look gorgeous, baby,” swift arms swept you into a gentle kiss, smirking against your lips and pulling you close to her waist. 
You thought that night would be perfect, but by 11 pm you two were home and icing her bloody knuckles, static tv voices echoing in the background. You felt hot tears rising to the surface, but you never let them fall. It’s not like you were just mad or angry or disappointed…no this was something more. You were embarrassed. Embarrassed by Natasha. You thought you’d never say that sentence, but then there you were, apologizing to the bartender for your girlfriend's rowdy behavior, and throwing $20 to the guy she completely knocked out before nearly carrying her out of the bar and into a cab. Within the next two weeks she packed her bags, and your home was changing once again, now empty. 
  8 months later 
    The team said that you’d only be separated for a year, or less, but you were coming up on a year pretty soon and none of you were any closer to figuring out who the threat is. But you, you moved on, strived forward, and kept going. Your breakup with Nat had been one of the most painful moments of your life, but you didn’t let it stop you. These days you hardly cried over her at all, never even thought of the old days. Well, except for last Tuesday, when you saw one of her old sweaters and lied in bed for the rest of the day, or on Thursday when you heard her favorite song and- well, never mind that. You were at the top of your fucking game. 
  Ms. Romanoff, on the other hand, had moved out of San Francisco completely and settled in Washington D.C. from the last you heard. She attended the monthly zooms, same as you, but you two never addressed one another. Natasha pushed all of the heartbreak she harbored deep, deep down until she would lie down for bed and reach out next to her…but you were never there. 
348 notes · View notes
that-sweet-jester · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Just a bunch of bad guys
A little background below ⬇⬇⬇
HA I TRICKED YOU, it's not little, it's a lot!
Alright, this was just supposed to be an attempt at character design of my own after I read bunch of Superhero AUs, but I got carried away and created some lore :')
-WILBUR-
Full Name: Both him and Techno had been adopted by Philza at young age and took up his last name, but wanted to keep something of their own. Hence, both have their nicknames "Soot" and "Blade" (not last names, they don't know what they were).
Alias: I wanted to base all names of the Syndicate on Greek mythology, however I had hard time finding something for Wilbur. I came close to calling him Apollo, but most of the things attributed to this god, aside being the patron of music, just didn't align with what I had in mind for him. Thus, ta da, "very original" Siren. Even tho, it's not really a name name - "lured sailors to their death with a bewitching song" just fits too well.
Powers: Hypnotic voice was an obvious choice, but I wanted all of them to have two main abilities. Thus, after long search I stumbled upon enhanced hearing, and hear me out. Wilbur wears mask over his eyes (he can see through it) but it gives the illusion that one of his senses is gone, and what they say when one sense is taken away? Another one amplifies >:D And I just think that someone whose powers are based on sound would be more sensitive to it. It's not like he has super hearing for miles away, he can just hear well what someone is whispering like few meters away form him :p
OK THAT'S IT. I think that's the most I've ever written on this site. To anyone who've read the whole thing: ily <333 thank for reading my rambling and sorry for any grammatical errors, English is not my first language and I was too lazy to do a spell check.
-TECHNO-
Full name: Explained before. I'm sorry, but I just can't separate those names from them, there is no Techno without Blade.
Alias: Now I spent a lot of time on this one, bc I just couldn't settle on anything. First I thought about Ares, for being the patron of blood lust and warfare, but just, it didn't work that much for me, I just think there should be more meaning behind the name. Then I searched more, I stumbled on Polemos and some other I can't remember and finally settled on Perses.
PERSES was the Titan god of destruction. He was the father of Hekate, goddess of witchcraft, by the Titanis Asteria ("Starry One"). Perses' name means "the Destroyer" or "the Ravager" from the Greek words persô and perthô. Hesiod inexplicably describes him as "preeminent among all men in wisdom"
And I just think this one's perfect. God of destruction? nice. "The Ravager"? Techno loved mc ravagers and I just can't pass this coincidence. "Preeminent among all men in wisdom"? Man's crazy smart, also as I'll explain more in a moment, Techno knows things he shouldn't really know, and he's almost always ahead of everyone, so, check. Also, my fav goddess aside form Persephone is Hecate so, additional point.
Powers: Enhanced durability is pretty explanatory. Mans could be thrown through a building and only his hair would get messy, maybe a bruise here and there and a lot of complaining, but that's it. You need someone equally powerful to bring him down. NOW, hyper awarness, man oh man, so I NEEDED to include the voices somehow. And I never saw them as something negative in his case. Of course, during combat, they start to demand bloodshed and make him sometimes loose control or result in sensory overload. BUT most of all, thanks to them he knows things - names of people or locations he never seen before, where the punch is coming at him from, answers to weird questions, who stole his food, and why is it always Wilbur, etc etc. So, yeah I thought that writing it down as hyper awarness, might work.
Additional info: His eyes are always red, but his sclera changes color to black when he's out on a mission or fighting, basically when the voices become louder the eyes become more intense in color. As civilian he wears red glasses most of the time to somehow mask the real color.
-PHILZA-
Full Name: You have no idea how much I wanted to write him down as Philza Mine Craft.
Alias: So, I also struggled to find a name for him. I was battling between Thanatos or simply calling him The Angel of Death. But then I was struck and everything became clear. I love fanfics where Phil was a hero before he saw how bad the system is and decides to become the "bad guy" who's actually kinda good, but does bad things sometimes. So, why not use it. In my version, before he became a villain, he was known as Angel, the Hero Committee wasn't as fully developed, so the heros still could stay anonymous, that's why even now they don't know his real identity. After he left he decided to take up new alias and therefore Thanatos was born. Person with black wings associated with Death, also now has a scythe??? Fits perfectly. And that's how people from calling him Angel started calling him The Angel of Death.
Powers: He has the ability to hide his wings and manifest them whenever he wants. I thought about making them just permanent, but I think it's just cooler when suddenly you see a character spring out a pair of big wings out of their back out of nowhere for the shock effect. (no i wasn't just too lazy to draw them, what are you talking about)
Avian telephaty - I also just couldn't not include the Chat. Wherever you see a cloud of crows you know the Angel of Death is nearby. He can communicate with any bird that is a raven, crow or rook. They're his eyes and ears.
Now, I can't leave without giving some credit to the writers that inspired me:
The Oath of Hippocrates by Melatonin_High
tommyinnit's clinic for supervillains by bonesandthebees (bonesandcacti)
Welcome Home Theseus by SoulfirePhoenix
All of them are on Ao3 and are super cool, so give them a read <3
Also, I'm planning on drawing Vigilante Benchtrio but we'll see how much that'll take me xd
3K notes · View notes
juniperskye · 1 month
Text
Begin Again.
Sneak peek: Reader got out of a relationship about eight months ago and was sure love was meant to burn and break and end…but this particular Wednesday made her believe that maybe, just maybe, she could begin again with someone new.
Aaron Hotchner x (Fem) Reader
Angst/Fluff
Word count: 1236
***Flashbacks are indented and in italics – this story flashes from present to past a few times. ***
REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!
Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, implied age gap (kinda?), anxiety, self-consciousness, Past abusive relationship, explicit LANGUAGE,  no use of y/n, mention of Jack, mention of Hotch’s previous relationship, story is guided by begin again by Taylor Swift (lyrics aren’t all directly used), mention of a love of the Beatles. I think that’s all, let me know if I missed any!
I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.
Tumblr media
You glanced at yourself in the mirror, second guessing your outfit choice.  Were the heels too much? Would he comment on them, would he be okay with them? Maybe you should switch to flats, they would be a safer choice.
“Babe seriously. Do you have to wear heels?” He berated you. “These are the shoes she told us to wear. I can’t switch shoes I’m a bridesmaid and were all supposed to look uniform.” You explained. “Really? You’re going to make me look so fucking stupid. Who cares if she chose those, just tell her the didn’t fit or the clasp broke or something.” “I’m not doing that.” You said. “You’re so difficult. Just change your shoes, it’s not a big deal. I just don’t want to look like a fucking idiot because my girlfriend is towering over me.” He continued.
You could remember multiple arguments that went that way. Him yelling at you for dressing how you wanted, so you didn’t. He started picking out your clothes and you complied, because that was easier than having him tear you down.
You smoothed your hands over your clothes and made your way out the door. The drive to the Café was a short one. You parked and made your way across the street, ready to go in and get a table for the two of you, fully expecting to have beaten him there.
To your surprise, when you opened the door, there he was. Aaron stood from his seat and walked toward you. You met him halfway and he pulled you into a gentle embrace. You didn’t fail to notice how he still towered over you despite your heels,
“Hi! It’s so good to see you.” He said pulling out your chair.
“Oh, thank you! It’s good to see you too, I was really glad you called.” You smiled as Aaron returned to his seat across from you.
“Yeah, sorry that it’s a random Wednesday, but with my job it makes it so hard and with us being free today I wanted to take the chance and spend it with you.” Aaron explained.
“I am happy to be here! The day doesn’t matter.” You shot Aaron a shy smile.
“You look beautiful by the way.”
You couldn’t help but blush at Aaron’s words. He had been so kind and gentle with you since you had started seeing one another. You had only gone on a few dates, but things were really good. The two of you had agreed to take things slow, having both gotten out of relationships not too long ago and Aaron also had Jack to think about. You guys had texted and talked on the phone quite a bit. He had gone as far as to call you late one night after a particularly rough case.
The two of you were currently talking about how your respective weeks have gone. Aaron had just gotten back from a case (hence why you were on your date now) and you had just completed a pretty big project at work. In the midst of your conversation, the song playing in the café changed to I Will by the Beatles, one of your favorite songs.
“Oh my god I love this song!” You gushed, quietly humming along.
“You like the Beatles?” Aaron asked.
“I love them! I have every one of their albums on vinyl.” You blushed.
“I don’t think I have ever met a woman with the same level of Beatles obsession as my own.” Aaron smiled at you in admiration.
The two of you ate while quietly enjoying the music and one another’s company.
“For if I ever saw you, I didn’t catch your name. But it never really mattered, I will always feel the same. Love you forever and forever, love you with all my hear- “ “Jesus, can you stop fucking singing that song?” He huffed. “Babe, it’s a really good song, I wish you would just listen to the words.” “I don’t give a shit about your stupid song. I don’t get it anyway.” He shut you down.
Aaron and you continued your conversation upon finishing your meal. You were in pure bliss with how amazing things were going. Aaron was attentive and gave you his full attention. He nodded and responded when it was needed. He also held conversation so well, he gave just enough information about himself in combination with asking you about yourself.
Another thing that had you swooning over Aaron was the fact that he had thrown his head back in laughter a few times throughout your conversation. You truly couldn’t wrap your head around how lucky you had been to have met Aaron. Your ex had never found your sense of humor funny, and it was nice to be in the presence of someone who appreciated it.
“Can you not make jokes like that when we’re in front of my friends? Like seriously what the fuck was that?” He demanded. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. It was just a joke. Your friends laughed.” You shrugged. “It wasn’t even funny. They just laughed out of pity to save you from the embarrassment of nobody understanding your stupid ass jokes.” He rolled his eyes at you as he stormed off.
Aaron checked his watch and noticed how late it was getting. He looked into your eyes and smiled, neither one of you wanting this day to end. But he needed to go pick up Jack from soccer practice.
“Can I walk you to your car?” Aaron asked.
“That would be great.” You smiled, wrapping your scarf around your neck.
As you made your way over to your car, you thought about talking to Aaron about how your ex had truly broken you, and that part of the reason you’d requested to take things so slowly is because you had to relearn how to accept love from someone. The last eight months had allowed you time to fall in love with yourself again, but loving someone else was a whole new obstacle you were working through.
Aaron’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, he had been talking about how he wanted to introduce you to Jack, not now, but in the near future. He had come up with a nice way to do so.
“So, Jack and I always watch Elf and the Grinch around Christmas, I think it could be nice if one night you came over and watched one of them with us, you know. It gives us a few more weeks to really solidify things between us and by then we will have been seeing each other for four months. What do you say?” Aaron looked hopefully at you.
“Only if it’s the Jim Carrey Grinch movie. That new animated one is cute and all, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the live action.” You smiled back at him.
“Of course, it’s the Jim Carrey one. We take things very seriously at our house.” Aaron smirked at you.
Aaron and you shared a laugh, and then he brushed his hand over your cheek, leaned in, and kissed you gently. December couldn’t come fast enough. Things with your ex had really messed you up, and he’d left you believing that love wasn’t meant to flourish, just burn, and break and end.
But on a Wednesday, in a Café you watched it begin again.
304 notes · View notes
auras-moonstone · 6 months
Note
Can you write one about Jack or Ethan where it’s based on the song speak now by Taylor swift where the reader is gonna get married but then something dramatic happens or something like that 😭
speak now — ethan landry
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
word count: 2,057
pairing: slytherin!ethan landry x slytherin!fem!reader
summary: y/n is forced to marry another man, but ethan was around when the preacher said "speak now."
author’s note: was it necessary for this to be a harry potter au? nope. but arranged marriages are common in the wizarding world so i said why not 🤷🏼‍♀️
Tumblr media
Y/N Y/L/N CAME FROM A PRESTIGIOUS FAMILY OF PURE-BLOOD WIZARDS. And like most pure bloods, her family shared traditional and archaic ideas that pushed her down the rabbit hole she was now trapped in.
It had been the cruelest of summers. She had found out that she was getting married to one of the most disgusting boys she had ever met. Enzo was a Slytherin, just like her, and was constantly strutting around the castle, with his chin held high like he was better than everyone, and constantly bullying those who weren't pure bloods—Ethan Landry being his constant punch ball. Hence why Y/N hated Enzo so much.
Ethan was Y/N's best friend. He was also a Slytherin, but unlike most of the students in there, he was a muggleborn. Their connection had been instant, and Y/N had surprised Ethan with her open mind and kind heart despite her backgrounds. She was his only friend, due to the rest of the house looking at him as if he were dust under their shoes, but he didn't care—Y/N was all he needed. He had become so accustomed to being by her side that on summers he felt empty, and spent all those months counting the days until they were back at Hogwarts.
When he found her on an empty wagon, his smile couldn't have been wider. Y/N's mood lifted up a bit, but her smile wasn't as lively as usual. Ethan noticed she was paler, she had dark bags under her eyes and her gaze had flickers of sadness.
"Hey... what's wrong, love?" Ethan wrapped her in his arms.
"I missed you, E. This summer has been hell, and it's only going to get worse." Y/N said, trying to hold back the tears, but her voice gave her away.
"What happened?" he asked worried.
"I'm getting married. My dad arranged it. I'm going to be Enzo's wife in a month."
Ethan's world stopped. His body grew still, his surroundings froze and his joy turned into ashes. The idea of her with another boy made him want to throw up, but the thought of her being forced to marry someone she didn't want? It made him furious, made him want to scream and avakedavra everyone but her.
"What happens if you say no?" Ethan managed to ask.
"They will disown me, probably kick me out of the house"
"That is not so bad, isn't it? I mean, it is bad, but worse than being married to that pig?"
"Eth... I have no one else, nowhere to go. And yeah, marry Enzo is not ideal but that doesn't mean I have to... do romantic stuff, right? I won't kiss him, or even share a room with him." she said hopeful.
"For now, Y/N/N. Now it's only marriage, but soon it'll be about expanding the bloodline, you know that."
"Yes, I know." and that's the moment she started to sob. "I have no choice, Eth."
"Live with me." he blurted, making her look at him in shock. "I'll talk to my dad. We are three siblings, but we can share a bed, or I'll take the couch and you can sleep on my bed. We'll see, but please Y/N you can't marry him."
"Eth, that's so nice but I can't accept that offer. I'll be completely cut off, so I won't be able to pay for the food or the rent, or the stuff for school. And I sure as hell won't let your dad pay for me, even if he says yes."
"But-"
Y/N cut him off "That is my final word, Eth. Please, I don't want to keep talking about it. I just want to be with you and forget about everything else. Tell me about your summer."
"It was okay. I missed you like crazy, though. I kept expecting to hear your voice and your contagious laugh" he said. Their eyes met, and the room got thick with tension. There was a big elephant in the room, and he was determined to address it. "Been thinking all summer about what happened at King's Cross at the end of the year."
"I shouldn't have done that." Y/N shook her head.
"You regret it?" his voice came out in a whisper because the words she said had cut him deep.
"I didn't, until my father told me he basically sold me to Enzo." she said. "That kiss was all I ever wanted. You are everything I ever wanted, and for a few days, I thought I could have. Now, you're everything I ever wanted but can't have."
"Says who?"
"Um, my father? Enzo? Enzo's family?"
"Who gives a fuck about them?" he said bluntly. Before she could open her mouth, he continued. "Do you want to be with me?"
"Ethan of course I want to be with you, but-"
"Then be my girlfriend, I want to be with you, too." he grabbed her hands.
"I can't be your girlfriend only for a month, Ethan. That's not fair to you."
"Who says it should only be for a month?"
"You're not making sense right now. I'm getting married."
"Yeah, and I'll still be your boyfriend. No one has to know what we do."
"That's bloody crazy, Landry. What happens when I have to... get pregnant, form a family." God, the thought disgusted her but it was the truth. That was women's purpose in the pure blood community—to marry and have children.
Ethan's jaw clenched. "Don't say that."
"You said it yourself minutes ago. No matter how much we hate it, it's the truth. That is my future."
"Then let's be together until the day of the wedding" he said defeated. The word ‘wedding’ made his stomach turn. "I don't want to be left wondering what we could've been together. Let's enjoy the time we have, let yourself enjoy the freedom you have left."
Ethan was right. She was not going to let those devils ruin the last few days of happiness she had left. She could see the end even as it began. But he was standing there, so tall and handsome as hell, and he made her so happy that she couldn't refuse. "Okay."
"Yeah?" he said surprised.
Y/N smiled and nodded. "Yes. Let's do it. I want to be with you."
"Can I kiss you now? I've been waiting the whole summer."
"God, yes."
The couple exited the train with swollen lips, messy hair, wrinkled clothes and sparks flying around them.
Tumblr media
THIRTY DAYS LATER, IT WAS TIME TO CAGE THOSE SPARKS AND LOCK THEM FOREVER. Both teenagers spent their last night tangled up together, with Ethan's hands in her hair and clothes on the floor of the room of requirements.
The memory of Ethan sleeping so peacefully on her shoulder was a memory that would follow Y/N around forever. It was going to haunt her and break her heart every single time because she would never get to see it again. He wasn't the one he was going to wake up next to, and the realization took her down. Once she was out of that door, her life of eternal sadness would begin.
"Good morning, love." his familiar voice whispered on her ear.
"Hi, handsome." she smiled sadly. "How is it that you look this gorgeous even first thing in the morning?"
"I don't know, I should ask you that." he kissed her collarbone.
They spent a few minutes in silence, holding each other. But Y/N knew it was time to go. In a few hours, she would have the weight of a ring on her finger. "Eth..."
"Just a few more seconds, please." his voice was thin, and his eyes were shut trying not to let the tears fall.
"I don't know if this is going to make things worse, but I need you to know. Eth, you are the love of my life."
"You are the love of my life, too. Knew it since the first time we met, when you jinxed that asshole who called me a mudblood."
"I'm the knight in shinning armour to your damsel in distress" Y/N joked.
"I love you" Ethan said grabbing her hand and kissing her knuckles, never taking his eyes off hers.
"I love you, too." but I have to go, were the words that she didn't say but floated in the air. Ethan nodded, and she got up put her clothes on and dragged her feet towards the door, her steps as heavy as the pain in her heart. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and left, leaving her happiness behind.
Tumblr media
ETHAN'S INVITATION HAD BEEN WITHDRAWN BY THE LOVELY BROOM-TO-BE. Yet, he was not going to let Y/N feel alone in that awful day, so he sneaked inside the church and hid in the curtains. He had a good view of the whole scene—the guests, Enzo’s snotty little family, who had chosen an awful pastel theme, Enzo standing straight in his light grey suit and the preacher behind him.
Then an organ started to play a song that sounded like a death march. Seconds later, the wide tall wooden doors opened and Y/N entered in her flowy lilac dress. Scanning the room, her eyes caught sight of Ethan and after the shock disappeared, she had to bit back a smile. She knew this was hard for him too, so the fact that he still went to support her made her love him even more.
His eyes followed her figure until she stopped in front of Enzo. On the outside, they looked great. Her dress had little grey details that matched his suit and they both were extremely good-looking. But it didn't matter how handsome Enzo was, Ethan knew Y/N wished the one standing beside her at the altar was him.
Once the attention of the people was at the front of the room, Ethan sat on the last row alone. His focus was on the beautiful bride, who was trying to mask her sadness with a fake and tense smile. He frowned in discontent. He couldn't let her become her signature, he couldn't let her live an unhappy life.
And then, he heard the preacher say, "Speak now, or forever hold your peace."
The complete silence that embraced the room after those words was interrupted by the screeching sound of the wooden bench. It wasn't until he felt eyes on him that Ethan realized he had stood up, and then his senses came back at once. His hands were shaky and sweaty, his mouth was completely dry and his breath got caught in his throat. He could feel the horrified looks of everyone in the room, but he was only looking at her.
"I don't know what I'm doing, to be completely honest. I never thought I would ever barge in on a white veil occasion, but I can't let you do it, Y/N/N. You shouldn't be marrying the wrong boy. Please, don't say yes."
Enzo was practically killing him with his eyes, and if there weren't so many people around, he may have thrown the killing curse at him. But right now, Ethan would take every curse and jinx if it meant Y/N's life wouldn't become a hellhole.
"Ethan..." it was the only thing that came out of her mouth. Her head was spinning like a tornado.
"No, you need to hear me out" he begged. "It's going to be difficult, but we're going to get through it together. You are the love of my life, and I'm yours. Please don't marry him. Let's ran away now. I love you"
"Y/N stop this nonsense. Someone guide the mudblood out."
Before Y/N knew it, her clenched fist impacted with Enzo’s face and gasps echoed in the room. "Don't you ever insult my boyfriend again. Don't test me, Enzo. I know more dark curses than you could ever imagine, and I'd love to try them on you."
She took her heels off and ran down the aisle and into Ethan's arms. "Holy shit, that was so hot. I love you." he yelled as they sprinted out of the church hand in hand.
Y/N laughed. She felt happy, free and completely fearless. "I love you too. I'm so glad you were around when they said speak now."
299 notes · View notes
Note
Aside from the fact that we’ve known about Castles Crumbling since the original Speak Now era (I remember all the fan speculation about what it was about since we only had a title, no lyrics) I think the song is very clearly Speak Now era Taylor’s writing? I understand why people associate the subject matter with 2016 but if you compare it to stuff she wrote on reputation about that experience it just sounds wildly different lyrically. It’s also not specific at all to any particular situation— she doesn’t talk about what has caused her castle to crumble beyond her own feelings of self-loathing, because it’s not something that’s happened, only something she’s afraid of happening. It’s not like on rep, where we get lines like “all the liars are calling me one” and “you said the gun was mine” and basically the entirety of TIWWCHNT, where it’s quite obvious she’s talking about a specific situation
And we also, frighteningly in retrospect, have MANY interviews from this time period where Taylor talked about one of her greatest fears as being framed for a crime she didn’t commit, for always being afraid of the rug getting pulled out from under her. Hence the highly regimented good girl behaviour so as to avoid scandal and blame and bad things at all cost and then, well. We saw what happened.
Aka her literal worst nightmare come true.
And tbh I can even see the angle that with all this hindsight that it partially drives her choices for Vault song inclusions. I always try to think about the deeper meanings behind her choices. Sometimes I think it’s a peek behind the curtain of her songwriting process because our ears will perk up at little phrases or words from these cut tracks that were later reconceptualized on other tracks from other albums. Sometimes it’s to provide an entire narrative world behind the world you thought you knew from the presented tracklist that slots the extent of all those emotions into a clearer picture. Sometimes it’s an eerie premonition of her life and events that have happened to her since that completely change the meaning of those original songs.
232 notes · View notes
chelleztjs18 · 2 years
Text
This One Is Mine Pt. 1 (N.R)
Billionaire Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
Tumblr media
Summary: As a billionaire and a successful business woman, Natasha has everything and lives her lavish life with her best friends. What will happen if Natasha wants you but Wanda gets in between?
Warning: Dark fic, 18+, bunch of sexual tensions, swearing words, drug use and alcohol consumptions. (Let me know if I miss anything)
A/N: Hello! I was gonna post this tomorrow as in the schedule but I'll be kinda busy tomorrow. So, why not post it a day early, right? Natasha and her friends wears the clothes that was shown in the cover except Wanda, she wears a dress with the same color. You don't have to listen to the songs in the fic while reading it but if you do, I hope it will make your reading experience more enjoyable. Happy reading! Here is the playlist for this series:
Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist
The moon shines up high, a cold breeze passes your legs that are fully exposed. The warmth of your short skirt only covers down to a little above your knee. If it’s not because your best friends Kate and MJ insist for you to come, you are probably home by now but you are in line with them to get into this one famous fancy night club called “Black Widow'' instead. You are not gonna lie, it is one of your favorite clubs to go to. You love the drinks, great dj not to mention the people who come here always look good. It’s not a secret that there are a lot of upper class people who love to party here. The club is always packed every time you come.
“I can’t believe that you didn’t even change your clothes before you came here. You looked like someone just came here straight from work.” Kate lets out her comment.
“Uh maybe because I came STRAIGHT from work, Kate. I could’ve gone home first to change my clothes if you didn’t text me every five minutes to hurry up.” You defend yourself with your reason. “Also, what’s wrong with the button up blouse and my mini skirt? I think it’s not that bad.” You added.
“I know. I know. I’m just excited. We are here to celebrate you. It’s your night. It would be more fun and more friends would come if you didn’t ask to keep it low-key.” Kate rolls her eyes playfully yet letting out her disappointment.
“Well, it’s okay. I don’t want it to make a big deal about it. I just want to celebrate it with you two. You two are my best friends and that’s enough for me.” You explain with a fake pout but genuinely meant every word.
“Awww, y/n, that’s really sweet. Don’t worry about what Kate just said. You look pretty and we understand. Thank you for doing this with us.” M.J responds in awe as she gives you a little hug and smiles at you and Kate.
“Yes, I’m glad I’m part of tonight’s fun. We love you. You know that?” The brown haired woman smiles and squeezes in another hug.
“Of course.” You answer as you check the time on your watch.
The night gets colder and the line is getting longer. The three of you have a great laugh and talk while waiting in line. The security lets some people in every time there are some people leaving the club.
The three of you are getting closer to your turn to get in and you get excited, especially Kate. She loves the place more than you do, hence the destination choice she made for the girls night out with you and M.J.
As soon as the security almost opens the way to let somes group of people ahead of you, someone talks to him through the COMM in his ears, and everything changes. He stops himself from letting people in.
“Sorry folks. VIP first.” He explains as he turns his back and focuses on who is coming. You hear overlapped voices of disappointment from the others in line including Kate’s and MJ’s.
“This is so unfair. How much longer we gotta wait. I wonder who’s coming. Oh maybe a celebrity? Look at those paparazzi.” MJ lets out her impatience followed by her wandering thoughts. “Or probably just another rich person, MJ. You know this place, always full of them..” You calmly respond as you playfully slap her arm with the back of your hand and patch a smirk at her.
Not too long after that, a shiny black limousine pulled up and parked in front of the club. The street light shines and reflects on some parts of the car. The windows are all dark as if it meant to avoid any attention to whoever is inside while on the road.
People start talking and wondering who it is gonna be. All eyes are on the limo as if it doesn’t matter for them anymore if they get into the club or not.
The paparazzi are all ready to snap pictures just like an army who are ready for what’s coming  in front of them. They all know who’s in the luxury moving box of steel.
All the commotions really drag your attention and your gaze to the center of it. You hear people asking each other “Oh my God, who is it?” or “I heard that she’s coming tonight. It’s her birthday today.” and “Do you think she’s coming with the others? I really want to see all of them.”
With all those overlapping comments, your mind gets so curious. You look at the limo without even blinking. Who is she? Who is this woman they were talking about?
The door finally opens, you see a woman coming out of the limo. A super attractive red-haired woman wears bright red suits and pants with a black lapel that blends in perfectly with her loose satin shirt under it. All of those paired beautifully with her black clutch. Her black and silver necklace cooperates with her same color high heels to highlight her black and red vibes.
You are so intrigued by her. You don't know why your mind imagines your fingers raking through her short red hair, caressing it. You are stunned by her look until you hear Kate’s voice.
“OMG! That’s Natasha Romanoff! Damn, she looks so good! I hope her sister Yelena will be here too. I have a huge crush on her.” Kate comments in amazement.
“Natasha who? Her sister?” You look at Kate with furrowed eyebrows as you ask confusedly. “Seriously? You don’t know who Natasha Romanoff and Yelena Belova are? Okay, I’ll tell you more after this.” Kate’s hand squeezes your hand excitedly as she looks surprised but she gets distracted with more people who get out of the limo. You look at Vision offering his hand to help his wife, Wanda, to come out. Her twin brother, Pietro comes out next followed by Tony Stark.
“Oh wow, The Maximoff twins are here too with Vision and Tony stark. So the whole gang's here.” MJ’s comment leads your gaze to bounce between the rest of them.
You know The Maximoff twins. Who doesn’t? They are the Sokovian siblings who inherit their parents’ fortune of Maximoff Co. but their business skill multiplies it. Not just that, people know them from their lavish lifestyle.
Vision, who used to be the British Royal family doctor and now the owner of many big hospitals in big states. He holds Wanda's hand as they slowly walk behind Natasha. You always adore them. To you, they are that power couple. It’s no secret that they have an open marriage and paparazzi often snap pictures of them with who they call “partner in fun”. In every snap, they are with a different person. Wanda and Vision always wear matching clothes, similar themes or at least whatever colors that compliments each other.
Of course, the brunette Wanda looks so alluring yet sophisticated. Her long sleeve burgundy red somewhat short dress with a slit exposing her thigh with a very low cut perfectly highlighted her cleavage. The dress wrapped her heavenly body perfectly. Wanda’s burgundy dress matches ideally with Vision’s shades of brown jacket and pants over his cream turtleneck.
Her brother Pietro, the ladies man,wears his black suit, spreading his charm. Clearly busy giving teaseful wink or smirks. Some girls are even lucky enough to get their hand kissed by him. From their excited reaction, you guess that they probably won’t wash their hands for a few days.
Then there is Tony Stark, the only heirs of Stark’s family wealth and company. It’s not a surprise to you that Tony’s fashion is a little more different than the others. This time he wore blue suits with black tie and pants. His gray shirts peeping out from under his jacket suit. Being eccentric he is, of course he wears different style athletic blue and black shoes and never forgets his glasses. In his defense, he once said in an interview that always wears sunglasses because of the camera flashes. But seeing he’s wearing the light blue shades right now that probably can’t really block the brightness of the flashes, it’s obviously only for fashion purposes instead. He gives a kiss on the cheek of one of the ladies who asks for a selfie with him shortly before he follows his friends into the club.
To your surprise, you caught Natasha and Wanda glance at you as they walked past in front of the line. Natasha’s glance makes your stomach somersault, instantly making your heart beat faster. Meanwhile, Wanda’s glance at you from head to toe and smirks make you feel like you are a prey, voluntarily.
“Wow, they all look so cool.” MJ doesn’t take her eyes off them until Nat and the rest get into the club. “Yeah but too bad, Yelena is not here.” Kate sighs in disappointment.
“Okay, I know the rest of them but who are Natasha and Yelena?” You ask curiously.
“She is a famous business woman. She is super rich, the CEO of Romanoff Inc. Her company is really big and goes international. She runs it with her sister Yelena. You know the twins and Tony Stark but you don’t know her? They are all best friends and hang out together. Their lifestyle is everybody’s dream.” Kate answers you in rambling.
“Well, Kate, you know me. I don’t really keep up with this whole famous people thing in social media. Work gets me really busy.” You respond to her rambling.
“That’s why you need this night! To have fun. Okay?” MJ tries to cheer you up. “Yeah, we will, After we finally get in.” You let out a sarcastic joke and made your best friends giggle.
_____
As soon as Natasha takes a seat on her VIP couch, she takes a sip of her favorite cocktails.Tell Me When To Go by E-40 plays loud in the club. Her eyes are analyzing her club tonight. She is happy with the new manager’s work. She loves how packed the club is, her eyes subconsciously look for you and her mind wonders if you are already inside or not.
“Happy birthday, darling.” Wanda gives a small kiss to both of Nat’s cheeks as she hands the redhead an envelope before she sits on Nat’s left side. Vision takes his spot next to his wife while Tony slouches next to Nat and Pietro sits side by side with his brother in law on the comfy large black and red U shaped couch. They always sit in the VIP spot that’s always reserved only for them. It has the best view of the club. They love it because practically they can see almost every spot in the club but still a little further from public and have some more privacy. Two dancing poles in front of each end of the couch.
The black table is perfectly set up like usual with bottles of expensive alcohol, ice buckets, snacks or everything they need and even their high end custom made bongs complete with their weed stash. Their favorite drinks and cocktails have been made prior to their arrival. Some bodyguards take a stand not too far from them. Pietro lit up his cigar right away. His eyes observe the surroundings. Excited with the crowd, especially the ladies. He blows out some smoke then takes a sip of his drinks.
“What’s this?” Nat takes the black envelopes as she asks and her green eyes meet with Wanda’s. “It’s your birthday gift from me, Vision and Pietro. Open it.” The brunette answers.
Nat quickly opens it and pulls a photo out of it. “A picture of a yacht?” She tilts her head in confusion.
“YOUR yacht. You sold yours a while ago and you have been too busy to get a new yacht. So we got you one.” Wanda answered excitedly. “Oh wow, thanks Wanda. Thank you boys.” Nat’s gaze flicks from Wanda, Vision then to Pietro as she shows them her gratitude.
“You are very welcomed, Nat. They berthed it next to ours right now. We didn't want to ruin the surprise for you if they brought it to your spot.” Vision explains then proceeds to light up the weed on the bong and inhale the smoke of it.
“You are welcomed, sestra! I picked the bigger size, so you can have a bigger party. Just don’t forget to invite us when you have a party.” Pietro answered jokingly. Wanda and Vision laugh at his jokes.
“Don’t worry, I won’t forget, Piet.” Nat smiles and shakes her head to his antics. “And now, it’s my turn. Happy birthday, Romanoff.” Tony hands her a small red box then smokes a weed joint on his other hand.
Nat opens it and finds a key in it. “This is the key to..?” She asks in a playful way. “Well, it’s just a small gift. Do you remember the winery you like in Sonoma? Not too far from it, I saw this nice property with a nice Spanish style house. It would be a nice getaway for you. I added a little touch. You know, a shooting range, and a spacious gym since you and your family love shooting guns and martial arts. Plus extra space for some of your precious car collections.” Tony casually describes his so-called small birthday gift.
“Oh wow, thank you Tony. All of you gave me these huge gifts. Now, I’m gonna have to give you better gifts on your birthdays.” Nat lets out her joke. The bass from the speakers starts to pound the air as the DJ plays Flip The Switch by Valentino Khan, Chris Lorenzo in line.
“Oh, you know what I like, Nat. If you find any interesting women, share them with me. Or let us have them after you, right, Vis?” Wanda answers her best friend in a teasing way and Vision agrees with an excited “Uh-huh.” in his nods then kisses Wanda’s cheeks.
“Well, just like Pietro said, just don’t forget to invite us if you are having a party.” Tony adds.
“Speaking of parties, I have another gift for our party tonight.” Pietro announced enthusiastically. “What’s that?” Nat turns her focus from the dance floor back to Pietro. “Well, I bought a bottle of old original Absinthe liquor. It’s so strong and it even can make you hallucinate a bit.” The Sokovian billionaire describes as he takes the bong from his brother in law to take his turn to smoke.
“Oh really? I have heard about it. Where is it now?” Nat pitches her question a little louder against the loudness of the music and people partying. “I told my assistant to send it here. Your bartender should be making some drinks for us with it by now.” Pietro smiles proudly about his surprise followed by some coughs out of him.
“Oh, which assistant? The one that Wanda fucked yesterday before the big important meeting with me and the board?” Nat smirks casually joking about what Wanda did. The brunette is really open with her best friends and brother including Vision about how high her sex drive is and how much she loves women. She knows her friends are okay with it, the downfall is they sometimes poke fun out of it just like Nat did. “Yeah, that one.” Pietro laughs.
“Oh, her? Yes, I did and she is really good. A really obedient assistant. She was so…let’s say, tight.” Wanda shares her short trip to yesterday’s memory of hers as she gently bites her lower lips then gives Nat a naughty smile.
Both Natasha’s index finger and thumb softly pinch Wanda’s chin so she can look at her forest green eyes that spark from the aggressive blinking spotlights following the beats for the music. “Oh, I know that, sweetheart. I know how she is.” Nat gives her response to the brunette next to her then wink at her.
The waitress brings a tray of cocktails that has the Absinthe that Pietro got for tonight. All of them cheer and take a big gulp of the green liquor.
Just like Pietro said about the Absinthe, they all start to get tipsy in a different way not to mention the effect from smoking the weed starts to kick in. Their body starts to relax more, but their throat still feels the warmth from what they drank and their heart starts to pump a little faster.
“Look what I’ve got! Look at these white beauties. Maximoffs, yours was really good last time but trust me, this one is even better.” Tony casually tosses a medium size bag of cocaine on the table. It’s more than enough for five of them to share all night long.
Wanda slowly blows the smoke from the burning weed that she inhaled. She hands the bong to Natasha for her turn shortly before she grabs the bag to check the white substance in it. “This looks good and if it hits good, give me the seller number, Stark.” Wanda's broad accent always shows up bolder whenever she gets drunk or high.
As Natasha is taking a hit, her eyes finally lock with the person she has been waiting for, you. She casually blows the smoke out, coughing a little as she watches you and your friends get to the bar.
_____
"Oh my god! Finally!" Kate tries her best holding herself not to jump in excitement as soon as the three of you get into the club.
You can feel the bass as if it punches your heart following the song beat. Some people bump into you when you are walking. The smells of alcohol, cigarette smokes and light marijuana fill the club. Your eyes keep trying to adjust with the light that keeps blinking in a random rhythm. The air feels sticky and warm from how many people are in there yet you also feel the cold breeze from the air conditioner that works really well.
You see two large screens on the high walls shining bright plays optical illusion video that match with the rhythm of the music. Few sexy female dancers dance on the dance pole and some of them dance inside giant bird cages. Some of them swing on the swing inside the cages like canary bird. People are dancing, jumping like crazy that you thought it was the effect of whatever they consume. You see some couples or maybe they just met there kissing in the darker part of the club like there is no tomorrow.
You and the girls walk to the bar right away. The bartender was about to greet you but he got a call. “Hey, Dimitri. Make them the same drinks you made us. Then give those three girls whatever they want, it’s on the house. Keep the drink flowing for them. Also tell Boris to tell the securities to let them do whatever they want as long as it's not dangerous.” Nat ordered from the other end of the line. “Yes, boss.” The blonde Russian bartender takes Nat’s order without any question.
Lose Control by Missy Elliot Ft, Ciara starts to play. You enjoy the vibe around you, the music makes you move your body a little unlike Kate, she literally starts dancing as she starts to sing the lyric
“Wow, this place is always a hit. Look at those beautiful people. I always love the DJ here. Look at Kate, she is not even drunk yet but already dancing like one of those dancers.” MJ looks around and comments on everything she sees including joking about Kate. “Well, you know how she is, MJ.” You laugh. Then you feel a tap on your shoulder and you turn around so do MJ and Kate as soon as they notice.
“Hi ladies. Ms. Romanoff ordered this for three of you. Don’t worry about what you order tonight. She will take care of your tab.” Dimitri informs the three of you with a smile and slides three green cocktails in front of you girls.
Kate and MJ gasp. “No, fucking way!! Ms. Romanoff, THE Ms. Romanoff?” MJ asks in such disbelief and you are more concerned about what’s in the drink.
“What’s this?” You asked. “It’s house special drink. Trust me, this is really good with a very expensive strong liquor called absinthe. You are lucky to be able to try this.” The blonde answers in a friendly manner.
“Oh, we are definitely drinking this. I've heard about that liquor. Thank  you!” Kate quickly grabs her drink. You sweetly thank him and grab yours, so does MJ. “Well normally, I wouldn’t drink anything from—” You try to express your thoughts but Kate doesn’t even let you finish your words. “Girl! Are you crazy? It’s from Natasha Romanoff, you better drink that! Wow, this is awesome. I wonder where she is watching us from.” Kate looks around the club to find Nat but the crowd is blocking the view.
“This means she is interested in you because I saw how she glanced at you. Wanda was looking at you too.” MJ tells you and Kate as she drinks her drink.
“You did too? I thought I was hallucinating when I noticed that earlier.” You finally tell them what was on your mind as you drink the strong cocktail. “How awesome would it be if she is really interested in you??” The excitement from Kate’s tone was easily heard despite how loud the club was.
“There's no way she is interested in me.” You roll your eyes playfully. “That’s a bummer.” MJ plays along with the joke. “Why not? There's a chance that she does." Kate winks at you. “You are crazy.” You shake your head at Kate’s comment and giggle but it gets into your head a little bit. Who would say no to the charming Natasha Romanoff. The first time you saw her, your mind was already all over the place. You imagine you caress her hair in a certain position, so close to you, for crying out loud.
You and the girls hang out near the bar a little longer and drink three more of the same drink. The three of you underestimated the strength of the alcohol in it from how smooth it is. You thought that the bartender was right, the drink is strong. It hits you harder than you thought it would be.
You can feel yourself start to get drunk., not tipsy but drunk. You can see that Kate and MJ are in the same state as you. You hear the DJ starting to play Heads Will Roll - A-Trak Remix by Yeah Yeah Yeah now. People start to cheer from knowing what’s gonna play soon from the intro, including Kate and MJ.
“Y/n! I love this song!! Let’s go to the dance floor now!” Kate and MJ drunkenly pull you to get to the dance floor. The more the alcohol gets in your blood, the faster your heart beats. The louder people cheer and the song gets the more you want to move and you start to dance under the alcohol influence with your friends. The three of you laugh and dance. Your eyes start to search for Nat albeit how drunk you are now. Little do you know that she has been watching you this whole time.
She watches and analyzes you. She notices that every time a man tries to dance with you, you will quickly refuse or drag yourself away but you are comfortable dancing with any girls who approach you. The more she watches the way you dance and your smile, the more she is drawn to you. She wants you. For some reason, she sees that you are different from other girls she met.
While Pietro and Tony are busy enjoying a line or two of the expensive white powder, what a coincidence that Wanda is also eye-ing you. She recognizes that you are the cute one she saw in the line when she walked by. She is watching you sharply like a hawk. Just like Nat, the brunette wants you too. Her desire skyrockets just by watching how your body moves. Both Nat and Wanda are looking at you like you are their prey yet both of them don’t notice that they are looking at you at the same time.
Wanda lets out a little growl as she feels every inch of her crave you, and being high and drunk only makes her want you even more. “Vision, dear. I want her tonight.” Wanda demands without even letting her gaze off you as she points at you.
Before Vision gets the chance to respond to his wife's words, Nat interrupts. Stern was her tone when she said “No. This one is mine.” as she keeps looking at you. Pietro and Tony laugh a little at the unexpected small competition between the Russian and the Sokovian women.
Pt. 2
A/n: Welp, that's all for today. I hope you like it. Let me know what you think. Reblog, comment and input are always appreciated. Follow me for more! See you in next!
Cheerio!
Taglist: @madamevirgo @musicinourlips @unstable-sapphic-hoe @fanboy7794 @chloe7076 @b0mbdotc0m @trikruismybitch @ichala @californianwhiterabbit @silver-lotus @imfuckinggenius @sxfwap @chaekhan @daenerys713 @luvmcgrath @stupidsapphicsstuff @pattypavo @frvny @franfineashell @heyyoweveryone @ygtft-chen @yaaskasey @sweeet-likeeee-cinnamonn @paumxmff @dopeyouth @beaniejennie @ineedafinghug @idkwhatimwriting @lucydiibi @mainly-rebloging-fics-i-like @gloriousfoxruins @grxvitye @mcubreakdown101 @aos22 @wandanatstan @paulawand @yeeterthekeeper @femalehomosexual666 @snowdrop1026 @modernmonalisa @nothingisrealanyway @idamaemann @sweeterlust @royalityofmultifandom @playboysaleen @peabrain112 @gwhaley127 @harleyswanda @bodhi-j @darth-rain @cristin-rjd (Let me know if you want to be tagged)
883 notes · View notes
onwhatcaptain · 8 months
Text
Spirk Meta: Connecting Star Trek SNW & TOS
I'm going to try to connect TOS and SNW's character arcs for Kirk and Spock's relationship with one another. This is part analysis and part prediction of where the writers are headed in shaping SNW into the TOS narrative.
With the most recent SNW episode, I think it's really fascinating that Spock is coping with the consequences of his attraction to Chapel and infidelity to T'Pring, while Kirk reacts to his attraction to La'an by showing a strong sense of loyalty to Carol.
I've been discussing with friends and they believe the two situations aren't comparable. However, I believe they're not only comparable, the writers completely intended them to be compared.
Spock has always served as a foil to Kirk. If you've seen TOS, you know this is true. Spock is logical, Kirk is unpredictable, and so forth. I don't really need to go into details about this, it's been explained to death. For me, it says a lot that in SNW E9, Spock is uncertain of who he is as a person and Kirk is uncertain of who he's meant to become as a commander.
Kirk has his mind on command, hence his discussion with Una, where he concludes that he needs to connect with people. That's the point of that song. Meanwhile, Spock's takeaway from his song is that he needs to specifically stop connecting with others on a personal level because it was a mistake to do so. It's a very internal-facing narrative, as it should be. But as we know, it doesn't work out that easy. For either of them. Ultimately, Spock does connect to people and finds himself emotionally compromised, and Kirk has trouble getting close to others. But Kirk is looking outward for answers, to other people, while Spock looks inward. To me, this extends to how they cope with difficult relationships, problems, and each other.
Kirk, like Spock, is attracted to someone he's not in a relationship with in this season. He clearly feels something with La'an but explicitly chooses not to pursue it seriously because he's in a relationship (some of the time) with Carol Marcus, who is having his child. Spock, on the other hand, says he wants to feel at this time. He doesn't want to let his relationship get in the way of experiencing something new with Christine Chapel, even at the detriment of his core beliefs. The really interesting thing about this is that these two characters arrive at the same conclusion even by making different choices. They both end up incredibly lonely, a major thematic arc for both men throughout TOS.
How they react at these crucial moments in SNW is a representation of their priorities in relationships, in life, and how they even become with one another. Kirk is married to the idea of command, costing him his relationships to other people. Spock is so deeply internally focused that he only has a few real friends by the time TOS rolls around, and can't accept that he cares about them, always couching it in terms of duty and obligation.
Spock essentially thinks, I need to not get close to people because I'll be hurt by those people. Kirk thinks, I need to get close to people where it matters, for command, but not so close that I'll hurt them. This ends up with both of them being painfully reticent to connect with anyone, to the point where in The Final Frontier, Kirk thinks he has no family.
MCCOY: It's a mystery what draws us together. All that time in space getting on each other's nerves and what do we do when shore leave comes along? We spend it together. Other people have families.
KIRK: Other people, Bones. Not us.
He eventually changes his mind by the end of the film, but you can see that this theme of loneliness goes all the way from SNW to nearly the end of their lives. Kirk's conclusion at the end of the film is that McCoy and Spock are his family.
But we see this idea of loneliness repeat so often that Kirk has a several ex girlfriends in TOS show up, all on good terms with him except one who we won't talk about here. Spock, on the other hand, has mostly closed himself off to relationships of all kinds by TOS, even shaming himself for whatever it is he actually feels for Jim, who is his best friend at that point. And they both fight this loneliness aggressively in TOS and the films. Spock insists he feels shame for his friendship with Kirk, Kirk feels like his ship owns him and he can't have anyone in his life. This excerpt from The Naked Time, which I abridged significantly since there was a lot of interspersed discussion about physics, is revealing:
SPOCK: My mother. I could never tell her I loved her. An Earth woman, living on a planet where love, emotion, is bad taste. I respected my father, our customs. I was ashamed of my Earth blood. Jim, when I feel friendship for you, I'm ashamed. Understand, Jim. I've spent a whole lifetime learning to hide my feelings. KIRK: I've got it, the disease. Love. You're better off without it, and I'm better off without mine. This vessel, I give, she takes. She won't permit me my life. I've got to live hers. I have a beautiful yeoman. Have you noticed her, Mister Spock? You're allowed to notice her. The Captain's not permitted. Now I know why it's called she. Flesh woman to touch, to hold. A beach to walk on. A few days, no braid on my shoulder.
They're both completely focused on their inability to love people. Spock is focused on talking about how he can't because of his identity, and Kirk is talking about how he can't because of his job. We even see Spock turn down an appeal from Chapel, as Chapel turns him down here. These two episodes have major parallels.
Just like in Subspace Rhapsody, Spock is thinking of himself, his faults, his issues, and Kirk is thinking about how he never stays in one place long enough to love someone. I think this sense of inability to experience deep love is actually setting up their friendship arc. Obviously, they eventually do love each other (in some way or the other). But it begins at what is clearly friendship, and notably, Kirk is eventually able to look past his marriage to command for Spock, and Spock is able to look past his reticence to relationships for Kirk (see Amok Time).
What's of interest to me is that we don't know how Spock and Kirk become close in the first place, but we will. It's clear they're very close friends by TOS, but in SNW currently, we haven't got an inkling of how that forms. My take on it is that it forms because of their respective struggles to connect with people. They're both struggling in precisely the same way: neither of them thinks they can or should get too close to people. For one another, they act as the only person they're able to completely let their guard down with. And that's possibly how they get close; that's the basis on which their relationship forms. They trust each other. Because they think they're not allowed to have or experience love, they end up more or less using one another as a stand-in for that need. In doing so, it brings us full circle. Kirk and Carol have a conversation about their relationship briefly in The Wrath of Khan.
KIRK: I did what you wanted. I stayed away. Why didn't you tell him? CAROL: How can you ask me that? Were we together? Were we going to be? You had your world and I had mine. And I wanted him in mine, not chasing through the universe with his father. Actually, he's a lot like you. In many ways. Please tell me what you're feeling. KIRK: There's a man out there I haven't seen in fifteen years who's trying to kill me. You show me a son that'd be happy to help him. My son. My life that could have been, and wasn't. And what am I feeling? Old. Worn out.
Kirk is terrified of aging. In this film, his past has come knocking, the same past SNW is exploring now. He's terrified of growing old and he's terrified he made the wrong decision when he was younger. I'd argue that that's because it's led to him feeling deeply alone, to the point where McCoy says they're treating his birthday like a funeral. Kirk not only feels like he belongs out in space because it's where he's meant to be, but because he doesn't feel so deeply alone, so much like a fish out of water, when he's out there adventuring. So he second guesses himself here: what have my choices cost me? Should I have not gone on to become who I am?
And the answer to that for him is no. This all ties together when Spock dies to save the ship at the end of this film. It's only in a few places in TOS and then finally here where Spock is able to talk openly about friendship and love:
SPOCK: I have been and always shall be your friend. Live long and prosper.
Kirk is devastated but while grieving, he can't help but feel young. And even then, feeling young isn't enough, because he can't stand not being in control, which we see in the next several films. He essentially can't handle life without command or without Spock.
SNW is attempting to bring us full circle on The Wrath of Khan and its cast. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that the character arcs we will eventually be given by the writers of SNW between Kirk and Spock is completely bookended by their feelings of loneliness, self doubt, and connection with others beginning from this episode through the TOS films. It's extremely interesting that they choose to do this on the SNW end by showing us where Kirk and Spock are both failing in their respective relationships with others and how they grow into that with one another, only to experience violent ups and downs throughout the films as they finally try to come to terms with who they really are as people, and who they really are as friends.
I'm interested to see how that will begin from season 3 onwards.
147 notes · View notes
always-is-always · 6 months
Text
My initial thougts, on 3D.....
First of all, the whole package of song, video, colab choice, and hype is completely what I would "expect", given the market it is aimed at. The target is the Western/American market. That is a VERY different market from that of K-Pop. Everything is different.
Jungkookie has personally set a goal based upon his own desire to be a global star. Global meaning, Western. Make it BIG in the West and every other market falls into place eventually. A truly unfortunate truth.
With his goal of becoming BIG brings in a number of requirements, players, outsider opinions, culturally crafted visuals(to appeal to the Western market), songs in English, giving creative control to those who are the power-players in the West, and a host of other things. It is a huge goal and it requires a lot of different types of choices as well as a willingness to enter into a very different arena creatively.
Tumblr media
Hence, the girls, girls, girls. Hence the allusion to hetero-sex. Hence the use of collabs with artists that really don't get Jeon Jungkook, and probably never ever listen to any of his previous music (solo or BTS). We are seeing Jungkookie attempt to enter into a very foreign world of Western Music in a way that isn't exactly in integrity with Who He Is, as an Artist, as well as a Human Being.
The Western Music Industry would eat him alive, if they could. There are a LOT of darkness-driven powerful people in the music industry and entertainment industry, here in the States. Thankfully, Jungkook has strong Guardian Angels to protect him. There's so much darkness in the music industry here in the US. (I digress!)
Regarding the song, it is what it is. I like it, yet don't love it. Nice beat, I do like his choreo (with Brian and his team), and don't mind the women included. It's catchy and I see the real JK in there.
As far as Jack goes, his lyrics and presence add nothing to the overall song or visual. There's no true energetic chemistry between him and Jungkookie. Jack is involved as a way to attract the US market, AND Jack is involved as a way for him to attract interest and make $$ from ARMYs. All Western high-level music moguls KNOW that any connection to BTS or a Member =$$$.
I'm reminded that any musician, singer, artist will evolve throughout their careers. It's the nature of being a Creative. AND, I'm probably not going to always like what a favorite Artist produces. The number of times my favorite bands or soloists released music I didn't love is a lot. It happens. How many videos have those bands or soloists released that I didn't like? Many.
So Jungkookie is exploring, doing, and navigating according to his own Inner Compass. Even if that means doing things that may not please everyone, including himself. He learns by doing. He won't know until he tries, and then learns from the experience. What matters is that he is taking steps forward on his Path, learning, growing, developing, and hopefully attaining some joy along the way. He's got to do what he's doing, as it is how he is wired in this life. This is a part of his Soul's Plan.
All of what we are seeing is temporary, as Jungkookie is also gearing up for his eventual enlistment. What we have now is all that we have. What we will have on the other side of enlistment will be a different version of Jeon Jungkook. That is important to remember. All of this is temporary, until MS is complete...
Tumblr media
The most important thing in my opinion is to be supportive of Jungkook, even if his music isn't what one would want. It is just a piece of the journey, and it will evolve, just as Jeon Jungkook evolves.
Let's continue to love him and see him achieving his Highest and Best Life, as it is his life after all. Even if that entails choices that we don't particularly care for. Bottom line is that Jeon Jungkook will always be a changing and evolving Human. It's in his DNA. 💜
126 notes · View notes
Text
Some thoughts on Poison from Hazbin Hotel
A lot of people were upset because they viewed those scenes of Angel being assaulted as depicting him of enjoying it, but people aren’t looking at the very obvious message of the song and episode. This character is forced to put on an act of enjoying and wanting his abuse, but underneath his mask (hence the name of the episode) he’s hurting and forced into this life. That’s why they show him breaking character in between the scenes where he has to act like he likes the treatment he’s receiving.
I especially love the scene where he’s dancing while grabbing his own chain. You have this moment where he looks sad and upset before he grabs the chain and starts the chorus. I think it’s a very apt visual representation of him needing to grab the ways in which his life is constrained in order to gain some control. And then Valentino yanks him around by that chain and he looks thrown off and surprised before pasting that smile back on his face and acting like it was part of the plan. I think that’s a great metaphor for how volatile and unpredictable abusers can be. Angel has to adapt and try to keep up with Val’s moves in order to keep from being dragged around.
I also think the video might sum up the stages of Angel and Val’s relationship. We have the first chorus “Addicted to this feeling I can’t help but swallow” and “every night I’m living like there’s no tomorrow”. In my head, I picture Angel and Val meeting and Val charming and whirlwinding Angel to this lifestyle of partying and fun and bathing him in attention. I think somewhere in there is when Val convinces Angel to sign his soul away too. Basically, I think Val love bombed him and charmed him.
Then we have this relationship shifting with “I got so good at being untrue” and “telling you what you want to hear”. It makes me think of after Val got Angel to sign that he started letting this lovey dovey persona deconstruct, especially in the face of any perceived slights from Angel. So Angel has to focus on keeping Val happy in order to still have the affection he was used to receiving. “I disassociate, disappear” He keeps going with this lifestyle and does things he doesn’t want to do to keep Val happy and he copes by doing this.
Next is the second chorus. “I’m choking from the taste” and “every night I’m wasted like there’s no tomorrow” we’ve moved on from enjoying the party to just coping the best he can. He very much doesn’t want this anymore, the word choice for “choking” implying it’s forced and unwanted. Which ties in the lifestyle but also the sexual abuse. At this point, I would wager that Valentino doesn’t bother putting on the affectionate act as much anymore.
And last is the ending “I’m filling up my glass but it’s always hollow” and “im sick of the poison, wish I had something to live for tomorrow”. The hollow glass line makes me think it’s alluding to Angel trying to cope with everything through drugs and alcohol but nothing is ever enough anymore to make him feel alright with living like this. He’s sick of the poison, of Valentino and the way he’s been living. At this point, Angel is all too aware that Val doesn’t love him and treats him badly, and he wants out. Between the drugs and alcohol unable to give him enough of a high to tolerate things anymore and the way he’s trapped, it’s hard for him to figure out what the point of even existing is anymore.
Anyways I have a lot more thoughts on this tbh. Maybe I’ll add more later after work.
38 notes · View notes
lily-blue · 1 month
Text
13 reasons why | reason no.12: they care about their customers' health
☆ characters: barista!seokmin & uni student!you (Dahee - ‘99 liner) ☆ genre: coffee shop au, slice of (uni) life ☆ summary: after a failed mock-test makes you realise that you aren’t ready for your midterms, you do everything you can to cram the curriculum before your exams; even if it means consuming too much sugar and caffeine that Seokmin simply can’t turn a blind eye to ☆ words: 8,7k ☆ taglist: @dat-town​​
➼ chapter index
Tumblr media
You were the first person in your family who had gotten into university or decided to pursue any kind of higher education, really, once they received their high school diploma. Hence, the pressure to perform exceptionally had been huge from the moment you had submitted your application. Not because your mom and dad were the typical Asian parents who tried to live their life through their children, demanding success where they had failed, but because most - if not all - of your extended family members thought that the money your parents spent on your education was a waste. And they never failed to bring the issue up during birthday celebrations and other family gatherings that for some reason none of you were allowed to skip. Feeling too young and powerless each and every time, your good grades were your only weapons with which you could shut them up.
However, recently, you had gotten pretty immersed in your new hobby, which obviously had a negative effect on your studies. It had started out innocently: about a year ago, this lovely coffee shop you and a few of your university friends frequented had thrown a free open mic night and you had performed an original song. Obviously, the lyrics had been heartfelt albeit amateur, the beats hadn’t always blended together nicely and your singing voice had never been trained, but you had enjoyed every second of the show and the audience’s supportive reaction. The staff had also been super nice, hence you hadn’t hesitated to sign up for the next occasion. And the occasion right after. If you had wanted to be honest, there couldn’t have been more than two events throughout the year that you hadn’t attended. You loved writing and singing your own songs too much.
Your improvement was undeniable, but it had taken a lot of effort and time, which you didn’t always have. Or more like… You shouldn’t have had if you had still taken your studies as seriously as you had done at the beginning.
In your defence, you hadn’t noticed how far behind you had fallen in your theory class until your professor had given you all a mock test two weeks before midterms and you had gotten back your results five days before your actual exam. You had scored twelve points out of fifty. Yet, even with the proof on your desk that served both as a reminder and a motivator, even a day later when your initial shock should have died down, you still couldn’t believe how miserably you had failed.
You let out a groan as you flipped another page of your notebook, trying to find those notes that could have helped you understand the slides on your laptop to no avail.
Why had you thought it had been a good idea to draw musical notes and treble clefs in your Theories of Applied Chemistry notebook? At least, the half-finished lyrics made some sense; you could never know when inspiration hit.
Trying not to mull over the horrible life choices you had made in the past few months four days before your midterm exams, you turned another page and sighed. You reached out to your cup with your eyes on your messy handwriting and took the paper straw between your lips, resisting the urge to chew on the soft material between two sips. This action wasn’t as de-stressing anymore since plastic straws had become a public enemy. You would have rather not had the paper melt in your mouth quicker from your saliva.
The unmistakable sound of the end of your straw meeting an empty cup genuinely surprised you even though, in the back of your head, you knew you had been in the coffee shop the whole day and it must have been over an hour since your last order. Cramming and not falling asleep from how boring these theories were didn’t fit into the same sentence without caffeine.
It would have been easier to raise your voice and ask for a refill like you had done numerous times already that day, but your body could have used some exercise, so you decided to stand up and walk towards the end of the line in front of the counter. This way, you could also take a look at their pastries and sandwiches, soothing your hunger past your usual lunch time. You had been so focused on your useless notes, you hadn’t even noticed you had unintentionally skipped your favourite meal of the day.
The line in Coffee Carat was a bit longer than usual as it was a beautiful Saturday afternoon when many locals spent their time in cute coffee shops whether with friends, potential lovers or partners. For a brief second, you let yourself wonder when you would have the time to go on lovely coffee dates with a guy who awoke butterflies in your tummy, but you pushed it aside way before it was your turn to order. You didn’t have time for relationships. Your hobby had already taken up a lot of your non-existent free time and look where that had gotten you.
‘Excuse me, miss. What can I get for you?’ The barista behind the counter cleared his throat, making you realise that it might not have been the first time he tried to get your attention. Still, the smile on his face looked genuine, hence you pushed your slowly growing anxiety down and offered him an equally honest albeit tight-lipped grin. It was the best you could do under pressure.
(One of the customers behind your back made sure that you knew that unlike the barista, he wasn’t paid to be patient. Jerk.)
‘I’d like to have a Vanilla Sweet Cream cold brew and two pieces of ChocoLate,’ you pointed at the chocolatey cupcakes behind the glass display, smiling as you skimmed through all the creative names they had for their sweets. It was just another thing you liked in this particular coffee shop.
One could have said that staying at the same place that had caused your demise was stupid, but you really liked the atmosphere of Coffee Carat, and the small stage in the corner actually kept you motivated: looking at the equipment, you knew exactly what you might have needed to give up on if you hadn’t put yourself together. You would have rather never sung again then let your family members roast your dear parents for paying for your university just so you could fail your classes.
You really hoped things wouldn’t have gone that far, though.
‘If you do not mind my suggestion, let me recommend you one of our decaffeinated drinks instead or something with less sugar and caffeine. I could not help but notice that this is your sixth cup today and while it is none of my business, consuming so much…’
Although the barista’s voice was gentle and he used formal language, his lengthy analysis on your coffee consumption made you feel as though you were at one of your obligatory family gatherings, hence you zoned out for a second.
‘...they are both very delicious. What do you think?’ His question reached you in an unstable state of mind, your head full of memories of your aunt Yeojin comparing your future career options with your Chemical engineering degree to those who worked at Olive Young. Like you would only be able to sell perfumes and scented body lotions with the knowledge you were trying to acquire while you were a university student.
‘I think your boss wouldn’t be too happy to hear about you refusing to give your customer what she ordered and getting all personal with her,’ you spat, a tad dramatic even to your own ears, but it was already too late. The words were out of your mouth and they weren’t kind. No, they were nasty like you were one of those entitled Karens you liked to laugh at when you were watching Youtube videos.
‘Actually, I am pretty confident that Seungcheol hyung would also refuse to give you your sixth cup of cold brew in less than six hours,’ the barista insisted, and you pressed your lips together to avoid saying something you most probably would have regretted the next second. Especially because you liked chilling and studying at Coffee Carat and you loved performing your songs on their open mic nights. If this Seokmin guy had been on a “hyung-dongsaeng” basis with his boss, you should have tried to refrain from getting on his nerves.
So you cleared your throat and softened your voice, determined to save what could still have been saved after your bitchy comment.
‘Look, I appreciate your concern and your boss’ concern, too, it’s touching, seriously. But next week is midterms week and I really need to shove months of skipped lessons into my brain this weekend if I want to be able to study for my other tests as well,’ you pleaded, and it should have been ridiculous, how you needed to beg for that vanilla-flavoured cold brew you had just ordered when it was one of the more pricey items on their menu. Shouldn’t they have been happy that you were willing to pay for it six times on the same day? (Another life choice you were most likely going to regret in the near future.)
‘Well, I’m also a uni—,’
‘Dude, can you just shut up and do your job? Give her her freaking coffee and let us move on with our lives. I don’t have all day,’ the same jerk from before spoke up, leaning closer to the counter and simultaneously invading your personal space by putting one of his palms on the wooden surface.
You were about to remind this impatient dude of public manners when the look on Seokmin’s face filled your throat with guilt, rendering you speechless. He looked so defeated, you had this inner urge to apologise for this whole scene your actions had created and ask if he had been still okay with preparing you one of the low-caffeinated drinks on their menu, but it was too late. He sucked it up and nodded with an obviously forced smile. Then, he turned his back to you and started to make your cold brew.
The entire time you were staring at the barista’s back, there was this teeny-tiny voice inside of your head, nagging you to apologise, but a part of you also felt that saying sorry might have made things more awkward and you hated the thought of making the situation worse. Therefore, you shut up and swallowed your own discomfort in order to help everyone forget this unnecessary ordeal easier.
‘Thank you,’ you mumbled under your nose when you eventually put your hands on the tray that had your coffee and chocolate cupcakes, then slid the small amount of change you had gotten back into the tip jar they had next to the cash register. You usually didn’t entertain the tipping culture even at diners where the food was otherworldly because it wasn’t part of your culture, but this money went for the events they organised in the coffee shop - including the yearly charity gift exchange in December -, so it did make you feel a tad better.
Though, you were relatively under the weather during the rest of your stay at the homey café. You kept stealing guilty glances at the busy barista and at one point you became so distracted by the self-blaming thoughts in your head that you ended up going home hours before closing time, which had been your initial plan for the day.
Tumblr media
You would have liked to say that your shame kept you away from Coffee Carat until the next open mic night, but the atmosphere at the coffee shop was perfect for studying and a lot more motivating than your dorm room or the school library could have ever been. Therefore, after a more or less relaxing good night sleep, you gave yourself a peptalk in your tiny bathroom and left the building before your roommate woke up.
You took a seat in one of the corners half an hour after opening and started your day with a big cup of Coconut cold brew and a chicken-mayo-tuna sandwich that was closely the best sandwich you had ever tasted in your entire life. You had three whole PPTs to relearn that day and while the amount didn’t sound too draining at first hearing, each one had at least thirty slides, so you knew there was another long day ahead of you.
Taking a sip from your drink, you let out a content hum and opened the first document. It was useless stressing over inevitable inconveniences, so you decided to get down to work. The less you pondered over the seemingly impossible task ahead of you, the easier it became to concentrate on your studies. If you had learned anything since you had started university, it would have been how taking one step at a time worked best for you. You got overwhelmed so easily whenever your focus was on how much more you needed to do instead of just working through your endless to-dos slowly yet steadily.
Three hours and close to forty slides later, you decided to take your first study break and ordered yourself a slice of well-deserved mango cheesecake along with your third cup of caffeine-infused refreshment. Since you hadn’t seen the barista from the day before when you had arrived early in the morning you didn’t think too much into how unhealthy your order was until someone put them on your table and you took a quick sip from your drink. It was subtle, but it tasted sweeter; upon close inspection, it also looked a shade darker than it had done the first two times.
The furrow between your brows deepened as you took another tentative sip. It took you a few seconds to realise what the problem was. Though, the realisation did hit you the moment your eyes met the barista who had served you.
‘Look, if I fall asleep over my laptop and fail my exam, not only me, but both of my parents will be dragged through the mud at every family gathering for at least a decade, so please, for the love of God, bring me the cold brew that I ordered,’ you begged, a little dramatic and a year ago, when your grades had been a lot better, you might have called the barista out on caring about your health a bit too much (or maybe on taking an interest in you), but right now you weren’t so entertained by his behaviour. Sure, too much caffeine was bad for you, it wasn’t like you hadn’t known it before he had mentioned it the day before, but it was only for one week. You only had to pull through this one week and then… Then, you could have come up with a better study method than cramming at the last minute and drowning yourself in a dangerous amount of cold brew.
Agrr. Why was this guy so difficult? It was only your third cup that day, and you hadn’t had that much of a hard time falling asleep last night. These should have meant something!
‘I obviously don’t know too much about your situation…’ Seokmin started, tentative with the way he chose each and every word as though he could sense that it was a very sensitive topic for you and you weren’t just throwing around big words to justify your obsession with these drinks. You gulped and didn’t cut him off, which he clearly took as encouragement, because his smile turned from solemn to caring. ‘But I’m also a university student. I’m currently doing my masters, so I know how these weeks can be. Especially when you care about your performance.’
Stealing a glance at the black screen of your laptop, suddenly you felt like your break was taking too long even though you knew it wasn’t true. You had been working hard in the past three hours and you couldn’t have pushed aside your studies a mere ten minutes ago. Still, the reminder of how much more you needed to force into your schedule today if you wanted to score high on your tests made you more anxious than anything. You had no idea where this conversation was going, but you didn’t like it one bit.
You wanted to tell him to get to the point and leave you alone. You also wanted to get a new drink, but you demanded neither. Mostly, because you felt like the latter was a waste of your breath and the former would have sounded like something your aunt Yeojin would have said and that thought alone unnerved you a lot. You just wanted to be left alone.
You put your empty hand on your keyboard and pushed a random button. The screen with the second PPT on came back to life immediately.
‘What I’m trying to say is… there are better and more effective ways to study last minute,’ the barista said and you sighed, disappointed with the way your coffee’s sweet taste lingered in your mouth. You liked sweets. You believed that consuming sugar kept you energised, but it was still off-putting. Most probably because it wasn’t what you had wanted to reward yourself with and only a few were cool enough to like these kinds of unexpected surprises. You definitely weren’t one of those go-with-the-flow girlies. Especially when you considered how much money you had left at Coffee Carat in the last twenty-four hours.
‘This is what’s working for me,’ you retorted half-heartedly, with one eye already on the next slide about LCP theory. ‘I don’t have time for experiments.’
You were harsh, you didn’t need to be a genius to be self-aware, but every word that had left your mouth was true. The last weekend before midterms wasn’t the most ideal time to find those study methods that worked best for you. You had to push through these upcoming days with what was familiar and most importantly, with what was working for you.
‘I could help with that. Not to brag, but I’m pretty awesome at time management, too,’ Seokmin said with his full chest, which kind of made it sound like bragging, but you didn’t call him out on that. Instead, you cut off a bite from your mango cheesecake with your fork and lifted it in front of your slightly parted lips.
You slid your gaze from your laptop to the barista as you pulled the dessert off the cutlery.
‘I have seven exams next week. It’s too late to chance tactics,’ you claimed, overly sure in yourself. What he was offering you might have helped in the long run, taking he was telling the truth and wasn’t exaggerating, but you had too much on your plate at that moment to even play with the thought of considering it. ‘Knowing myself, I’ll order some more in an hour or so. Please, make sure to prepare my drink correctly.’
Inwardly, you were proud of how calm your request sounded despite the unwanted attention this barista was constantly giving you that weekend. He was nice, you had to give that to him. Your mother would have definitely liked him for looking out for you even after you had refused to listen to him (and not just because she preferred green tea over coffee every hour of the day), but at that moment, a knight in shining armour was the last thing you needed. It didn’t matter that he was handsome.
Where that last thought came from, you had no idea, but you quickly shook it off. Whether he was easy on the eye with his sharp nose, puppy eyes and that lovely mole on his cheek didn’t matter. Your studies did.
Hearing the barista’s defeated sigh, you fought the urge to praise him for finally getting the memo. You would have liked to think that you were a nice person and it was only your nerves being on the edge that turned you into such a menace. You would have also liked to think that Seokmin was partly at fault. He was too nosey for his own good.
Whether he was so pushy with other customers, too, you didn’t dwell on it. These details had no significance to you, because they could have only led you to massive overthinking and the capacity of your brain was already close to its limit. Ligand close packing theory; you had to focus on ligand close packing theory.
An hour and a half later you were still very much awake when you got the low-caffeinated version of your beloved coffee and a sugar-free croissant on the side; however, close to eight in the evening, when your eyes became way too heavy to keep them open without some extra help, you welcomed the espresso on the house with a satisfied smile on your face. As you were taking one small sip after the other while hovering over your notes, you noticed that cutting back on your daily coffee intake helped with its effectiveness a tiny bit. Not that you would have ever said that out aloud.
You refused to say that out aloud.
Tumblr media
You had one written exam on Monday because you had taken Western European business and management as one of your electives that semester,  and you were happy to start with such an easy, computer-based exam as the instant results - you scored 95 points out of 100 - gave a huge boost to your confidence. You felt almost invincible as you waltzed into Coffee Carat around two with your laptop and your notes for tomorrow’s oral exams.
‘I’d like to have a decaf vanilla latte and three of those Unstoppaballs,’ you said as soon as it was your turn in front of the counter, your mouth watering at the sight of the white chocolate and orange flavoured balls.
‘No cold brew this time?’ Seokmin’s sassy question was more shocked than teasing, and you just shrugged with a hidden smile in the corner of your mouth. You still didn’t feel like you could admit that sometimes less was more, but your order could have been taken as a white flag, so did you really need to spell your surrender out to him to understand? Nah, he wasn’t stupid. Pushy? Hell the freaking yes. But not stupid.
Based on what you had seen of him since you had become a regular at Coffee Carat, he could pick up on social cues just fine as well. 
‘I’m feeling energised today,’ you decided to entertain him a little while you were looking for your wallet in your backpack and received your order with the same, subtle smile on your face before you took a seat at one of the empty tables in the back where you could study in relative peace. Sure, you couldn’t have made people stop talking around you like in the uni library just because you were sitting in the corner, but you preferred the light background noise to the silence anyway. It helped you concentrate; whereas, your thoughts were usually all over the place when you had nothing to shut out.
Doing a silly little dance on your chair as you were waiting for your laptop to turn on, you allowed yourself one sneaky glance from above your shoulder at the barista, who was busy preparing the next customer’s drink, then fished your notebooks out of your backpack and got down to work. If you could successfully answer all three questions at the end of each one of your slides by eight, you would have two extra hours to prepare for your Theory of Applied Chemistry test on Wednesday. Not an easily achievable goal per se, but you wouldn’t have called it impossible, either.
Dead set on your goal for that afternoon, you had already worked through two third of your notes when your stomach gently reminded you that you needed more fuel to keep up the good work. However, before you could have finished up the quiz you were using to test how much of the lesson you remembered, someone placed a Chocolate latte and a banana cupcake between your laptop and your abandoned tray.
‘I didn’t order these,’ the words were out of your mouth before your brain could have made the assumption that both the drink and the snack were on the house, because things like that never happened to you. Sure, you were pleasant to look at in a gentle, less outstanding way if your parents and friends’ opinion was anything to go by, but in today’s society it was rare to approach someone just because. Meeting strangers was easier online, and most people still met their future significant other through friends. 
You shook your head when you realised you were overthinking it. A future significant other? What were you thinking?
‘I know,’ Seokmin gave you a sunny smile, his cheeks a tad rose-tinted close to his ears. ‘I was just thinking… So, you are doing so good so far without deliberately poisoning yourself. What else could deserve a reward if not that,’ the barista semi-asked, semi-exclaimed with a soft giggle, making you feel less offended than you had been when the word “poison” had fallen from his lips. Tsk, as if a week’s worth of excessive amounts of coffee had ever killed anyone. He was such a drama queen material, it was laughable.
‘Thanks?’ You tried to show your gratitude without making it sound like you were suspecting him of doing something inappropriate, like spitting into your chocolate latte because you had been talking to him from such a high horse the last two times you had crossed paths. ‘Isn’t it too much sugar, though?’ You raised a brow while you reached out for the drink.
You put the straw between your lips and took a huge gulp from the latte. It tasted delicious, a lot less sweet and a little colder than you had initially thought. Neither of these two was a real complaint, though.
You didn’t expect the genuine laugh that Seokmin gave you when your unintentionally sassy question registered in his brain. And you anticipated it less when your lips curved upwards due to how dorky he looked with his crescent moon eyes, all thirty-two of his teeth more or less on display.
‘I made sure to get you one of our new, sugar-free cupcakes. And the sweetest thing in your latte is the chocolate itself. A mix of cocoa powder and melted chocolate actually,’ he said, his smile not wavering as he added: ‘I do like to think that I’m a man of my word, so no, it’s not too much sugar. I wouldn’t do that after all that scolding,’ he reassured you as he lifted his hand to his neck and scratched the sensitive skin under his ear a couple of times.
‘It does sound less hypocritical now that I heard your explanation,’ you agreed with a soft hum, offering him a bite from your cupcake that he declined with a light shake of his head.
You were contemplating whether you should have A) asked him what you could have helped him with as he was clearly stalling by your table, B) said thank you for the freebies once again before the silence could have stretched too long or C) reminded him that your midterms took an entire week, hence you still had a lot of studying to do that afternoon.
In the end, due to your indecisiveness, it was Seokmin who broke the silence first.
‘I actually have something for you. Let me grab it real quick, it’s in the changing room,’ he said, and before you could have objected or even acknowledged his words, he was on his way to the staff only area.
Since you had read many YA books when you had been in elementary and high school, you had a couple of ideas of what could have been going on, but all of your groundless fantasies failed you when the barista rushed back to you and your gaze finally fell upon an ordinary albeit new-looking notebook. Confused, you looked up at Seokmin with deep furrows on your forehead and between your eyebrows.
‘What’s this?’
‘Study materials,’ he stated, like it should have been obvious. You reached out for the blue notebook with half-curiosity, half-scepticism and skimmed through the first couple of pages. There weren’t many texts in it, but the pages that were filled were filled with an unexpectedly beautiful handwriting. ‘You said you don’t have time for experiments, so I made sure to pick the most effective study methods for your exams.’
‘You made this for me?’ You asked, and in any other situation, you might have felt stupid for asking about something so obvious, but at that moment you were incapable of forming any other sentence. He had mentioned it earlier that he was also a university student, which meant that his midterms were either around the corner or at the same time as yours. He was also working at Coffee Carat in his free periods, which left him with less free time than most students in your program had.
Yet, he had put great effort into searching for healthier studying methods for you: an almost complete stranger with non-existent coffee addiction. His thoughtfulness, albeit unnecessary, pulled on your heartstrings.
‘Yeah. I think you should start with the Feynman Technique even if you don’t have anyone to talk to, because that works for the majority of people and we wouldn’t want you to lose time on techniques that might not work for you during your exam week, but I made lists of pros and cons at the end of each technique with a short summary, so you can choose whichever you like, obviously,’ he rambled as he stepped beside you and leaned a tad more into your personal space, so he could flip the pages of the notebook in your hands, showing you what he was talking about.
You especially liked the little drawings around the pros and cons lists. 
‘I…’ you cleared your throat, looking for the right words. ‘I don’t know what to say.’
Seokmin offered you an understanding smile and upon realising how close his face was to yours, he straightened his back and took a step further from your chair. Or so you assumed because you didn’t want to think of the possibility that he might have put distance between the two due to your gaze unintentionally falling on his lips. Nah. You had not done that, you had just not.
Had you?
‘You don’t have to say anything. I just hope it’s helpful, and that I didn’t cross any boundary. Again,’ he assured you at the same moment a female barista called for his name from behind the counter.
Seokmin snapped his head in the petite girl’s direction, then looked back at you and the blue notebook in your hands. With a smile, he bowed slightly, urging you with his eyes to go back to your latte and studies.
‘Hwaiting!’ 
The cute, balled up fists the barista gave you left you speechless.
And as determined as you were to not waste any time that afternoon, so that you could have some extra hours to prepare for your Theories of Applied Chemistry exam, as badly you had lost track of time after your conversation with Seokmin. You were aware that it hadn’t been his intention to burst your serene bubble, but you couldn’t help yourself. You just had to see every page, study every study method he had picked for you before you would have gone back to your notes.
This was how you had royally messed up your study schedule once again. Just when you had gotten on the right track after long weeks of procrastination. A shame, really. You were kind of disappointed in yourself when around closing time, you eventually left the coffee shop.
Tumblr media
So to say, you were surprised when you got back your test results and you managed to score at least a B on each one of your exams would have been an understatement. You were beyond speechless and absolutely thrilled at the same time. It was almost overwhelming.
It was also most definitely the result of both your hard work and Seokmin’s help with finding the right studying technique, because those endless slides you needed to work your way through had become much easier and faster to memorise after you had started to explain the topics to your rabbit plushie in the simplest way possible. You had also adjusted the famous Pomodoro Technique to your own aims and needs and had taken a ten-minute-break after every fifty minutes of cramming/studying. It had been intense, but it had been worth the back pain and the temporary sleep deprivation.
Since most of your professors had opted for paper-based written exams, it had taken a whole week to get your grades, but that meant that the day you heard back from your results, you were more or less back to normal: you drank only one cup of coffee every morning and ate less sugary goods despite how much you loved their taste. You also tried to sleep at least seven hours each night after you had spent the previous weekend in bed (safe for those inevitable occasions when you had needed to eat, drink and use the bathroom). Long story short, you had enough energy to take a small detour on your way home, visiting Coffee Carat with one purpose in mind.
You wanted to thank Seokmin and maybe brag a little about your academic achievements.
Practically vibrating once you realised that the barista was indeed working, you waited for your turn in front of the counter impatiently yet respectfully. You had already shown this guy your shameful Karen side; you didn’t want to remind him of how you could be on your worse days. Especially not on a fantastic day when nothing should have been able to ruin your mood, not even the long line at your favourite coffee shop.
‘Hi,’ you greeted the barista immediately, your happy smile wider than he might have ever seen, which should have been a warning sign to tone it down a little; however, you were too thrilled to act like a normal human being with a healthy amount of inhibition.
Luckily, instead of looking at you weirdly, Seokmin decided to match your vibe. 
‘Hi there. Are we having a good day today?’ He inquired despite the smaller crowd behind your back. ‘What can I get for you?’
‘An ice chocolate, please, and a mango-peanut butter sandwich,’ you ordered and waited until he reached for the metal tong to grab your sandwich before you casually added: ‘By the way, I passed each one of my exams with flying colours. Your notes helped a lot. Thank you.’
And just like that, the easy part was out in the open. However, it was only a tiny part of the real reason you had come to the shop on a day when you had no classes to study for, no open mic night to sing at and no friend to hang out with. Obviously, your gratitude was bigger than a few nice words.
‘I’m happy to hear that. I could tell you were working really hard,’ he praised you, making you feel not only better in your skin, but more confident as well. Therefore, even though you had had the perfect plan (giving him your number by writing it on the napkin you would get), you simply blurted it out:
‘Do you want to grab some food together after your shift ends?’
You didn’t take it into consideration how flirty it might have sounded until the word actually fell from your lips and one of the customers gasped behind your back. That, completed with the shocked look on Seokmin’s face, gave you a reality check.
You cleared your throat and made a poor attempt at concealing your embarrassment with a forced chuckle.
‘I mean, to celebrate. The food is obviously on me, but I don’t expect anything in return. It’s just a friendly hangout, two university students bonding over their exams and such… Yeah, no biggie. Just some street food if you like street food…’ your ramble went on and on, losing its sense because come on! Which Korean didn’t like street food? You were so ridiculous.
‘I like street food,’ Seokmin cut you off with the most adorable, amused smile while he put your sandwich on a tray and started to work on your drink.
You pressed your lips together, cheeks heating up in embarrassment and gratitude. So he was down for it, that was good. That was awesome.
‘And I finish at six, which means…’ He looked at the clock on the wall, moving his lips a bit, indicating that he was counting under his nose. ‘In one hour and thirteen minutes. Is that okay with you?’
The best thing in post-midterms week was that most of your professors turned their classes into a huge discussion about your typical errors, therefore you didn’t have any or had very little homework. Thus, you had, for once, all the time in the world.
‘Sure. I’ll be sitting there, catching up on some Thai series,’ you informed him, and quickly paid for your order before you took the tray and walked up to your usual spot, in the corner of the customer area.
Tumblr media
Your little celebration with Seokmin had been more than nice. You enjoyed talking with him a lot more than you had anticipated actually, because initially you had thought you wouldn’t have had many topics to talk about besides school and coffee. 
How wrong you had been!
The guy was wonderful. He had matched your excited energy about the smallest wonders in life such as bumping into a random kpop concert in the street, sung his heart out with you when the trainee-looking teens covered songs you both liked, hadn’t made any comment when your eyes had craved the food more than your tummy and even eaten your leftovers like MVPs did instead of telling you to stop buying new stuff when you still had food in your hands. Your wallet might not have been particularly happy about this habit of yours, but your heart had fluttered throughout that night. Seokmin was amazing.
An amazing friend, and someone you could have pictured falling in love with with time.
And that was the main reason why you encouraged the slowly building bond between the two of you instead of taking a step back. You texted him at the most random times of the day about the most random things you saw, you listened to him when he needed an outsider’s opinion instead of someone’s from their enormous friend group and slowly became an active part of his everyday life. 
That was why it didn’t surprise you when during the next open mic night at the coffee shop, he walked up to you before your performance to wish you good luck and took it upon himself to give you the first compliments as soon as you walked back to your table, enjoying the rest of the show.
‘The bridge came out very nicely, I wouldn’t have guessed you were still struggling with it on Monday if you hadn’t told me,’ he offered you his most brilliant smile, taking a seat by your table and sliding a slice of cinnamon cheesecake towards you right after.
You cut a biteful off it with your fork and lifted the first bite in front of his mouth. Smiling, he leaned in to take it, but instead of wrapping his lips around the sweets, he took your wrist in his hand and redirected the cutlery, so it would be facing you. After a snort, you dived in for the dessert with an amused eye roll and completely destroyed it.
‘Thanks,’ you mumbled with your mouth full of cake. ‘For both,’ you added as you wiped your lips clean with the back of your hand and stubbornly offered the second bite to the boy. As much as he liked to point out that he could eat and drink at his workplace for free, you also liked to emphasise the fact that it could only be free to you too if he had taken at least one bite or sip. It put your mind at ease.
Getting a shy smile instead of a response, you finished the slice in relative silence, because neither of you wanted to disrespect the artist on stage with a full on conversation, then you let Seokmin go as he had to finish his shift and help the others with packing up the equipment before he clocked out for real. Usually, his shift ended around six when he was taking the afternoon shift - sometimes sooner when he couldn’t work full-time due to his classes -, but one of his coworkers, Minghao, had gotten sick this morning, hence he had promised to stay an extra hour and help with the event. His reasoning? He would have checked your new song out anyway.
‘Wanna grab dinner with me tonight?’ You asked him when he jogged back to your table half an hour later in his street clothes, the light shade of pink on his cheeks deepening more because of his hard work than because of your question. After all, it had been two weeks since your first dinner together, so he had had plenty of time to get used to your more relaxed behaviour.
You were a whole other person when you weren’t constantly on edge because of your poor grades and the mental image of the disappointed look on your parents’ face didn’t haunt you. You were a friendly person. Not as extroverted as Seokmin and nowhere near as funny as his friend, Kwon Soonyoung, but nevertheless a pleasant company.
‘Sure. It’s on me tonight. I want you to try my favourite dumpling shop,’ he agreed easily, waiting for you to pack your stuff comfortably before he took your tote bag from you.
Your heart fluttered when the boy even held the door for you on your way out despite his noisy friends’ hollering.
Tumblr media
If you had been a regular at Coffee Carat before, you basically moved into the building once your friendship with Seokmin turned into a crush. Not necessarily because the barista felt the same way about you, but because as soon as you had acknowledged your feelings, texting with him daily hadn’t been enough. You needed to see his face, the way his eyes lit up at the smallest wonders of the world - such as the little girl with the adorable pigtails who dared to pick a fight with Seokmin’s lawyer friend because of a joke he made about Joshua, or the first piece of perfectly baked chocolate brownie -, the way he smiled at every customer even when they were rude and entitled and of course, the way he looked at you when you chose a less extreme drink for your second coffee of the day than your go-to cold brew.
You had fallen too deep.
And yet, you made absolutely no attempt at getting out of the hole or pulling the guy down as well, at the bottom of the pit. Instead, you busied yourself with your notes as you always did and chose to concentrate on your upcoming finals. There were two more weeks before the first exam; however, this time you wanted to be more organised and prepared. 
‘Hey there, how is it going?’ Seokmin’s question reached you before his steps came to a halt at your table; the ease he pulled the chair next to you out for himself doing funny things to your heart.
After a quick glance at the clock on your toolbar, you realised that it was already time for his lunch break, which meant you had been at the shop for almost four hours. You shouldn’t have taken as many breaks as you had allowed yourself that morning. You still had so much to go over according to your new study schedule, argh.
‘I think I overestimated myself,’ you confessed with an inaudible sigh, pushing your plate with your leftover cupcakes on it towards the barista despite the food container in his hands. You had bought more than you could eat with him in mind, as the blueberry cupcakes always sold out within an hour, and you knew he loved them a lot.
‘How so?’ He inquired while he reached out for a cupcake, shoving it into his mouth with a content hum before he even opened his home-packed lunch. In the back of your head you wondered whether he could cook or it was someone else who had made it for him, but you quickly pushed that thought aside. It didn’t matter. You knew for a fact that he was single, so whether it was one of his friends or someone who might have had a soft spot for him just like you did shouldn’t have concerned you at all.
You refused to let the possibility make you bitter when he deliberately spent his lunch break with you.
‘I put too many things on my to-do list for today. I barely finished one third of it and it’s past one already,’ you decided to focus on your conversation, pouting slightly as you took a sip from your cold lemonade. It was more sour than you preferred, but you had wanted to give it a try when you had seen the recommendation on the counter.
‘You still have weeks, though, right?’ He inquired, his worry only evident in his voice due to how familiar you had grown with his habits in the past few weeks. If it hadn’t been for that time when you had accidentally knocked the porcelain plate off your table and reached out for the broken pieces on instinct, you wouldn’t have been able to tell just how serious Seokmin’s question was.
He was anxious on your behalf, worried that you might not have had enough time to revise without pulling those awful all-nighters most university students did. That you might have had to break your promise and go back to your old habits to make more free time where there wasn’t any.
‘Two. I know I can make it, it’s just… I’m a little distracted today. I overestimated myself, that’s it,’ you were quick to reassure him, refusing to turn back to your laptop like you had done so the first couple of times the barista had invaded your personal space during your studying sessions. Back then, you had thought he was annoying, but nowadays labelling his persistence cute sounded more fitting.
He made your heart flutter.
‘Does that mean you might have the time to go on a week-long vacation with my friends and me after exam week? No retakes?’ He diverted the topic smoothly, making you let out a scoff somewhere between an actual scoff and a chuckle.
‘Hopefully. But aren’t all of your friends in a relationship? Why would you want us to be the twenty-fifth and twenty-sixth wheel in the group?’ You teased, even though you had never spent enough time with his friends and their significant others to know how they acted around other people. Were they into PDA? Were they comfortable with intimacy only in private? As far as you could tell, Soonyoung was the only one who couldn’t keep his hands to himself when his girlfriend was around, and Eunseo rarely left her own shop during open hours.
‘If you ask me, Joshua and his new girl might not even last until our finals week. Anyhow, everyone having a partner is exactly why I want you to come with us,’ he explained between two bites, finally opening the baby blue food container and diving into the homemade kimbap rolls. They looked appetising.
‘Oh? So I’d be your partner?’ You teased him further, genuinely enjoying the fact that you could get more information about how he felt about you without acting suspicious. It worked out perfectly for you, hence you would have been stupid to let an opportunity this amazing go just because you were lowkey afraid of him getting the wrong (correct) idea and head on rejecting you. ‘Shouldn’t you have asked me out on a date first?’
If you wanted to be honest, you were unsure where your overflowing confidence was coming from, but it wasn’t like you were a coward in the first place. It was just new that you showed any interest in someone, and based on how movies and dramas portrayed young love, you kind of expected to be more insecure about the truth. Still, here you were, raising your brow at Seokmin in challenge as though it wouldn’t have hurt if he had laughed in your face.
The choking sound that escaped the boy’s mouth pushed your heart into a slight palpitation, but he put himself together before you could have reached out to him and patted his back a couple of times to help him spit out the food that stuck in his throat. 
‘I mean…’ he started once he gulped down a huge amount of water from a water bottle you hadn’t even noticed before, too distracted by his home packed lunch. 
Seokmin’s beautiful eyes were red and shone with unshed tears as he looked at your face, the subtle smile on his lips almost bashful even without him lifting his hand to his nape to scratch it out of embarrassment.
‘I was planning to ask you out after your finals, so I wouldn’t distract you unintentionally, but for some reason Hoshi hyung is in charge of the reservations and he wants to know whether you come or not,’ he explained under one breath, pointing towards the edge of the counter that was closer to the staff only area.
Despite your unhealthily high heart rate, you turned your head towards the direction the boy was showing you and there he was… Kwon Soonyoung in all his glory, staring at the two of you with his phone in his hand like he was about to record your interaction in any minute. You furrowed your eyebrows when your eyes met and he wiggled his eyebrows. Weird.
‘He said he would ask you himself if I didn’t man up and I just… You might not believe it, but he would totally do something like that, and I didn’t want you to hear it from him that I have had this embarrassing crush on you since our first open mic night and…’
You were speechless; meanwhile, Seokmin kept rambling, repeating bits and bobs of his cute and most probably accidental confession here and there. He told you how touching he had found your first song, how he had doubted for a very long time that someone like you could still be single, and how the closer he had gotten to you, the more afraid he had been to lose your friendship.
You were speechless, and he wasn’t.
Unsure where it would have been appropriate to cut him off, you decided to take control over the situation quite literally and took Seokmin’s hand in yours. Then, the combination of the firmest gentle squeeze you could manage and your sweet, encouraging smile did the trick: the world quieted down around you with the barista’s mouth hanging open.
‘Would you like to grab some food with me after your shift? This time, as a date,’ you asked, enjoying the confidence that came with knowing exactly how Seokmin felt about you. The lack of fear of rejection was deliberating.
And so was the eager ‘Yes’ that followed your question not even a second later.
Giving another squeeze to the boy’s hand, you stole a glance at the deeply invested Soonyoung by the counter and made a mental note to thank him for his unintentional match-making before the two of you left the coffee shop that afternoon.
He deserved your gratitude, all the praises and maybe, a free brownie, too, for turning the likely impossible possible for you.
➼ next reason
Tumblr media
REASON NUMBER THIRTEEN: THE COFFEE SHOP IS KID-FRIENDLY
characters: potter!joshua & single-mom!you (Seori - ‘94 liner) genre: coffee shop au, hurt/comfort, fluff date of release: second half of March (however, i need to take my laptop to the laptop service today, so i might not get it back in time to write the chapter that soon)
Tumblr media
25 notes · View notes
Text
Why Those Nicknames?
If you ever looked at the basic info posts for my COD OCs and saw their nicknames and wondered, "why?", this is for you. Just something fun. This is solely for the COD OCs that are in "The Lions" squad (Kali, Sarabi, Simba, & Nala) because there's a post about why Stone's nicknames are his.
Kali:
Mufasa- This is technically a callsign, but I put it in the nicknames section because only The Lions and Stone use it to refer to Kali. Everyone else, including me, uses Kali when referring to him.
The Phantom of the Opera- This was sorta touched upon but here's a more in-depth explanation. Kali's light on his feet, like a phantom, but he also sings (hence the opera part). During his earlier years in the Marine Corps, Kali used to sneak up on people and sing songs from the musical The Phantom of the Opera, just because he could and it sparked the nickname.
Harbinger of Death- Harbinger means a person who announces or signals the approach of something, which is fitting for Kali considering as a sniper, he kills people. But also no enemy has ever seen him and survived, hence the nickname.
Sarabi:
True Leader of The Lions- Partly because he's the one that does the most of Kali's paperwork (because Kali, despite being a captain, hates paperwork) but also because it's a play on the fact that prides of lions are usually a matriarchy. So since Sarabi's callsign is a feminine name whereas Kali's (at least in the squad) is a masculine name, people joke Sarabi should be the actual captain of the squad.
Shadow-Man- Sarabi manages to blend in the shadows somehow, he hides there and no one really knows he's there because he usually doesn't talk much. Also, some people have said he manipulates shadows when he moves (which is just to further the legend of him).
Simba:
Geek-Man- It's not because he's a math prodigy, I swear. It's because he has these "geek-outs" as he calls them, where he just info-dumps about a certain subject. It's mostly about math or animals, don't ask him about fun facts about zebras. He will talk your ear off about zebras.
Greene Day- He loves the band Green Day and if you hear him humming, it's most likely a Green Day song. Combine that with the fact that his last name is Greene, you get the nickname "Greene Day".
Chaos Himbo- You may be thinking, if he's smart, how can he be a himbo? It's the energy. He doesn't seem smart, especially not with the way he has often accidentally set a fire in the microwave by trying to microwave different things. He's also chaotic in the way he has run several times on all fours, like he's a four-legged animal. He surprisingly runs pretty well on all fours.
Nala:
Daddy Williams- He got this nickname before he became an actual father and it's because he made the mistake of saying he once had a partner (not his wife) call him "Daddy" in bed. And no one let him live that down. It's gotten to the point where his daughters call him "Papa" and yes, that was his conscientious choice to teach them to call him that.
Man with a Bunker- It's self-explanatory; he has a bunker. Everyone found out when he just said "I do have a bunker" when someone joked he'd be the type to have a bunker. It's speculated that he might have more than one bunker, but he refuses to give a distinct answer on whether or not he has more than one.
Lord of the Weapons- Just a funny nickname because of the fact that he has a bunker and is a weapons expert. Other soldiers, non-weapons experts, revel at his knowledge of weapons and the fact that he can assemble and reassemble a sniper rifle blind-folded. Yes, people have actually seen him do it. In-universe, there are videos of him doing so.
Reblogs are welcomed & appreciated! Asks are open, feel free to pop in and talk or request something! (SFW requests only, please and thank you)
24 notes · View notes
servalisms · 7 months
Text
my home, for all seasons || serval x reader
Love, she had found, was a lot like warmth, after all. And she’s got enough to fill a universe with it, right here with you.
content warnings: none !
wc: 939
Tumblr media
It’s snowing again.
It was hardly a surprising sight in Belobog, even as the Eternal Freeze had begun to recede. The lands outside the city’s walls still remained cloaked in a pristine layer of white, decorated with frozen statues of monsters and men alike. And it would be many, many years before the heaters in the streets and homes of Belobog could retire from their duty.
Serval was used to the cold. To the nipping chill that settled in the tips of her fingers, rendering them far too clumsy to strum her guitar properly. It was, if anything, a persistent annoyance. Hence why she had only blearily stared at you when you shook her awake, a sun-bright grin on your face at an hour far too early for her to truly appreciate.
“Serval,” you whispered excitedly, your voice light like first snow. “Serval, it’s snowing.”
Groggily, Serval turned her head to the side, squinted, and sure enough—snowflakes drifted lazily outside the window, turning the morning light a diluted greyish-yellow. Distantly, she could hear the clamour of the waking city bleed through the walls of your shared apartment. “G’morning to you too,” she drawled, moving to roll onto you and bury her face in the warm junction between your shoulder and your neck. Her breath tickled the sensitive skin there and you squirmed, giggling, your hands finding her face to draw her back.
“Let’s go out,” you say, and Serval’s expression morphed into a pout.
“But ‘s cold,” she whined in response.
“We can cuddle after,” you offered, trying to sweeten the deal. Serval’s eyes glittered, brows rising suggestively as her hands found your waist to absently rub small circles into the soft flesh. “Plus, it’s been a while since I’ve even seen snow.”
Serval blinked. Oh.
The last time you would have been able to let yourself enjoy such a mundane activity would have been years ago, before… well. Before the Supreme Guardian had decided the Underworld was a necessary sacrifice in her battle against the Fragmentum, damning you and so many innocent others to a subterranean existence. Your time in the Underworld had not been kind, but everyone Serval had met from the underground city had only lovely things to say about you.
Sometimes, the only thing that kept some of us sane was her music, Seele had admitted once as they sat in Bronya’s office after a long day of meetings and discussions with bone-headed Overworld nobles. Her playing was an excuse for people to sing and dance and forget everything for a while.
There is comfort in music, Serval had agreed, and in her mind’s eye she could almost picture you: the line of your back and the bend of your arm as you held your violin, your eyes shut as you felt the music in your bones, drawing each note straight from your soul and giving it tender voice. Your heart, Serval had come to learn, reflected in your playing, and it made her wonder what your song would have sounded like down in the Underworld. Eventually, she thought that it would have sounded a lot like hope.
“In that case,” she murmured, as her lips flicked upwards in a grin to match yours, “I know the perfect place.”
The ‘perfect place’ in question was actually outside the city, which Serval knew might be a bit of a controversial choice—actually, no, it very much was—but then again, Serval lived and died by rock n’ roll, and there’s nothing more rock n’ roll in spirit than being a little controversial. Plus, it wasn’t too far from the city’s gates, and if anything, Serval could fight. All those years in the hell that was military school weren’t for nothing.
Especially now, as she looked at you under the pale sunlight, your breaths warm puffs of air in the morning chill. Your face was tilted towards the sky, snowflakes catching in your hair like constellations. And oh, that smile on your face—so dazzlingly bright that Serval swore she could go fucking snowblind. It’s the moments like these, just you, her and the crescendo of emotion between the both of you that makes her feel that maybe, just maybe, all that shitty heartbreak and pain was worth it. That all the grief and sadness had finally slid into place in the symphony of her life, discordant notes smoothing into a lovely harmony that led right to you.
Qlipoth above, she wanted to kiss you.
“It’s beautiful,” you say, your eyes still affixed to the pale heavens.
“Yeah,” Serval answered, but she’s not looking at the sky. “Sure is.”
As if sensing her stare on you, you turn to face her, your expression curious. “Is there something on my face?”
“Yeah, actually,” Serval replied after a moment, and stepped closer to you, her blue eyes glinting with mischief. A gloved hand rose up to cup your cheek, her thumb brushing across the seam of your lips. She leaned in close, close enough that you could feel her breath spill across your cheeks, and right before she pulled you in for a gentle kiss, she whispered, “it’s me.”
Serval greedily swallowed the groan you let out at her admittedly terrible pick-up line, but you didn’t push her away, so she was taking this as an absolute win. In fact, you pulled her closer, your arms winding around her neck until your bodies were pressed flush together, and the cold nipping at her skin was all but forgotten.
Love, she had found, was a lot like warmth, after all. And she’s got enough to fill a universe with it, right here with you.
52 notes · View notes
aksually2008 · 1 year
Text
aksel's guide to relaxing media
A lot of people have asked me to compile a list of my go-to depressing/dooming media, but I feel it would be irresponsible to give you that without an antidote.
Maybe this will be of help to you on an anxious night and instead of smoking a cigarette you'll turn to this or maybe its a nice cozy afternoon and you need something to maintain that feeling.. either way here's stuff that I consume on those days:
Film/TV
youtube
Joe Pera Talks You to Sleep
This is something I have recommended to most of my friends at this point and if you ever give me the opportunity I'll probably talk your ear off about this man. I have a very special affinity towards this video, as it randomly found me on a particularly stressful quarantine night and boy am I glad it did.
I'm not gonna talk about it too much further, but if you're feeling a little bit lost or anxious, even after my 250 watches of this, I end up feeling a little bit better. If you like it make sure to check out his show, Joe Pera Talks With You on hbomax as it's one of my favourite shows ever!! The episodes are short and easy to digest :)
Tumblr media
How to With John Wilson
It's hard for me to exactly describe this show, it's just one of those things you have to see for yourself to fully understand the appeal of it. For the most part, this show uses street footage of New York City and interviews with average everyday New Yorkers to convey some kind of narrative, usually disguised as a tutorial(hence the "how to"). There's a lot of absurdity, laughter and sometimes it plays with your emotions a bit, but sometimes it's nice to just unwind and learn about the insane industry of scaffolding in NYC.
youtube
Come and Visit Us Again
Okay, so this is probably one of the most niche things here.. Considering that it has 205 views as of me writing this and it's in estonian with no captions available.(Maybe someday I'll translate it)
As far as I can tell, it is a documentary short made by Liis Nimik, who at the time was a film school student. It follows the day-to-day of a village grocery store cashier and her interactions with the people who visit her store everyday.
Moms, dads, scary little kids and village bums.. It has it all and serves as this kind of a sweet time capsule of one particular week in this one Estonian village. I will admit this is probably extra comforting for me as I grew up near a village similar to this that also had a store just like this one. In a small village, the people who work at the local grocery store really become apart of your everyday life and I loved to see it captured like this.
I feel like even if you don't understand Estonian, it's nice background noise.
Tumblr media
Malcom in the Middle
Need I say more?
Youtube
If you know me, you know I'm a fiend for comforting youtube personalities. Here are some of my favorites:
youtube
Steve Wallis
Even if you aren't particularly interested in camping, you'll still probably enjoy these videos. Steve is probably one of the sweetest dudes I've found on YouTube and he really knows how to keep a conversation. All in all, just nice to throw on if you just wanna disconnect for 30 minutes
youtube
Shirley Curry
I've loved Shirley's stuff for years now. She calls her viewers her grandkids and posts vlogs & let's plays. I think that covers the gist of it.
youtube
Featureman a.k.a. Tom Willett
This is an older gentleman, who for the most part shows you different meals that he makes & tells you stories about his time as an actor in the 1980s. Every video feels like you're visiting your grandpa.
youtube
GIFGAS
I found them quite recently, but they're quickly turning into my favourite Youtube channel. Videos of trainhopping, which are so well shot and the music choices are soooooo gooooood. Every travel vlog should have a mandatory requirement of at least (1) shoegaze song.
youtube
Roger Hance
Found this guy randomly on my recommended and him only having 4k subs feels like a crime. He's a bird photographer, who vlogs his outings and talks about all the little birds he sees. super cute.
Music
Below are a couple of playlists and tracks I recommend for this occasion:
Mixture of ambient tracks and just relaxing instrumentals. There's no vocals. During the summer, I would always listen to this if I was sitting in a park or doodling.
This is just some of my favourite ambient tracks. If you've never really listened to ambient music before, check this out I guarantee you'll like it.
I have fallen asleep to this so many times that sometimes i just constantly hear it in the back of my head. Maybe thats not a comforting thought but it helps me sleep so that's a price I am willing to pay.
That's about it though.. I didn't include everything, because this is already pretty long and I have to keep some things secret, but I hope you find use in some of this. bye
313 notes · View notes
bestworstcase · 1 month
Note
This is just me noting two comparisons with Salem and Summer that would make their next meeting interesting.
Salem lost her daughters, partially her fault
Summer adopted Yang but was horrible at explaining the whole adoption but to her - compare to Salem emotionally adopting Cinder and also being horrible at explaining it to the adopted daughter. Just, Yang didn't have any reason to not see Summer as her mother.
No wonder Salem in a Summer as General scenario would understand that Yang and Ruby being kept alive was a priority.
to be fair, yang was five when summer left and (despite body of evidence suggesting it’s best to be open about adoption from day one) it’s a really quite common assumption that it’s better for the child to wait until they’re old enough to understand, plus the situation with raven leaving seems to have been very messy and not something summer or tai handled well. so less that summer fucked up explaining adoption than that she and tai may have been planning to sit her down and explain in a couple years (with maybe a bit of “hoping raven would come back” in the mix, because: messy), and then that… got derailed by summer going missing.
(it seems to be a pretty widespread assumption that summer and tai fully intended to keep raven a secret from yang forever, which… seems like a bit of a leap to me. yes, the inner circle is in the habit of keeping secrets—when those secrets pertain to salem. when yang makes the jab “so now we can talk about her?” tai answers that well, yang’s an adult now, implying that the reason he refused before had to do with yang being too young/too immature in his estimation. that would track with a plan to tell yang at some threshold of “old enough to understand” and tai kicking the can down the road after summer’s presumed death broke him. anyway,)
yeah. the framing in 6.4 makes it pretty unambiguous that salem blames herself—tbh i am not even convinced it’s “partially,” because it stands out to me that her songs rage on behalf of the people ozma deceives and manipulates now but don’t express even a vague shred of condemnation for killing the daughters, i think she fully blames herself and only herself for their deaths. (if they died that night.) (as always i have to side-eye their Disappearance from the scene the moment the fight began; ozma Does Not Know what happened to them. though granted i think the most likely case is they died and salem saw it happen, hence her self-blame.)
bare minimum, she knows how it feels as a mother to lose your children and to feel their blood on your hands—ergo she knows it would shatter summer’s loyalty to her if salem did not make a serious effort to avoid killing them. if she, on top of that, cares about summer to any degree the pragmatic reasoning is secondary to not wanting to inflict that pain on summer. given how salem is about cinder, her consistent choice to prioritize “leave ruby alive” over eliminating a threat to cinder’s safety suggests to me that either she does care for summer enough for that feeling to be in conflict with her care for cinder, or summer is a load-bearing pillar in her plans that cannot be removed, or both.
it’s probably both
21 notes · View notes
bokettochild · 2 months
Text
Playing The Strings of Fate
Just a little thing I found in my WIP folder that I'll probably never do anything with. It's pretty though, so I thought I'd share it.
  Battle is a dance. 
  Blood is the paint that colors his world, steel a whisper familiar to his ears. The screams of the dying are the song that sings in the darkest of nights. The pleas of the lost, lonely, and scared are the pulse to which his heart beats. He’s seen more of the world than man thrice his age. Death follows in his wake on one side even as life springs up on the other. There are choices to be made at each and every turn, a burden that weighs heavy on his soul, dragging further down the light the once to clearly shone before all the world.  
  He is the Guardian of Life, Bringer of Death, the one who’s fingers play the strings of fate. The chords stretched from souls twine together before his eyes, source and destination unknown, but of little matter. What matters is the way the strings play across the Loom set before him, the tapestry of history half woven and waiting for him to build upon it, to twine together his fate with that of those surrounding him. 
  His own string, he’s found, is not the soft silk that on occasion he finds in his travels, the gentle cotton or warm wool that is so common amid the lands he’s been, nor the hardy twine of others stronger than most. It's not a string easily broken, instead, it is a string of gold that falls from the goddess’ spool, unbreakable save by her own blades, just as those before him were, and those yet to come will be. It’s a string that strengthens that which is bound about it, but, when pulled against, will snap all others. Hence, he’s long learned to weave his path with care. 
  Magic itself is akin to weaving, he has found. Like the web of a spider, it is cast out, singing with even the most minute of disturbances. The falling of a brother, the folly of a friend, they sing back across the threads he has woven himself in amidst, alerting him to the need of another, drawing him over to inspect the snag caught of fellow and not. The blade of the goddess will sever the thread of life where it must, washing in blood the world around him as another forsaken string falls aside, out of the pattern of fate and life, forgotten and left only to be trimmed out of sight for the sake of those who may look upon the greater picture at a later date.  
  Thus, the strings of fate around him are stained crimson as he dances like a spider over the web cast about him, blade cutting lifelines and singing death songs to those whose strings dare pull and snag around his own. It’s a dangerous dance, one that he must be wary to follow. A misstep will twine him to threads too weak to stand the strain put on him, will break where he does not intend, and will leave weak where his strength is needed.  
  The Shutter rests in his hand, the pattern well known. He is the weaver, it falls to him to see that the fabric of fate continues, at least until the next of his calling will take up the shutter and continue where he leaves off. 
23 notes · View notes
chewbokachoi · 2 months
Text
"Tough Stuff"
It was a mistake, Bi-Han knew. But he had lived his entire life controlled by those around him. Not once had he been given a choice to decide for himself.
And now, standing next to possibly one of the universe’s worst creations, he found he was fine with this.
It was his choice. No matter what people said, Bi-Han knew he could survive whatever happened. Nobody understood how controlling and boring his life had been up until meeting the damned sorcerer.
He enjoyed watching Shang Tsung shiver as his fingers brushed the sorcerer’s cheek. Then he leaned in, his cold lips touching warmer lips. Those lips soon parted and he leaned in closer, deepening the kiss, content with the moment and the choice he had made.
Even if it would end in disaster, Bi-Han was still going to enjoy the moment.
Written to "Tough Stuff" by Peach Kelli Pop
This song always feel melancholic and like somebody's in denial of future regret. Also a total tonal opposite for these two, hence the fun and challenge of it.
21 notes · View notes