#hence dog walk yesterday

[lo1k-diamonds]

How to Choose a Valentine 💜

PAIRING: idol!Jungkook x You (You can also read it on AO3)

SUMMARY: Who knew the best company for Valentine's Day would be a lovely Doberman? And who knew he'd get you a Valentine? Well, sort of.

WORD COUNT: 4.3k

GENRE: fluff and light angst

RATING: Teen (for cussing and drinking)

WARNINGS: drinking, kissing and making out while drunk (consensual), hangover, lapses of memory, misunderstandings, JK handles everything well, Bam is the center of this story, the cutest baby, and maybe a cupid, should fill your 💜 with fluff but wdik

A.N. I wasn't even supposed to write this. This is what happens when I wake up at 4 AM and can't sleep. Then I think, Hmm, I read lots of lovely fics yesterday about Valentine's Day. What would I do if I wrote one? X hours later, here we are. I just roll with it at this point, it's almost a way to deal with writer's block 😅 Enjoy 💜

You snorted at the reel playing on your phone while your hand petted gently between the black Doberman’s ears. One girl smashed the phone camera while repeating ‘Girls don’t want flowers for Valentine’s Day’, while another immediately shyly said that yes, she’d like flowers. You scrolled; another of a guy guiding his significant other over a trail of petals; you scrolled, another of a guy explaining how he asked a girl to become his Valentine. Another, with the type of girls on Valentine’s Day and you smirked. Which one were you? Definitely not the spoiled girlfriend, you were single. Not heartbroken, you hadn’t dated for a while, or a heartbreaker. You chuckled; the only guy in your life at the moment was that sweet Doberman sleeping on your lap and you weren’t about to break his darling heart. 

The next options were single and fine with it, anti-Valentine’s Day, and Galentine’s Girl. You supposed you were fine with it but had hoped not to spend it alone, hence why you were at your best friend’s apartment. What you thought could be a day of eating and having fun together turned into dog-sitting because she needed that favor. Something along the lines of the usual sitter being ill and her needing to find someone to do it, and you were available.

You could think of more depressing ways of spending your day. You put your phone down and petted the short fur between the dog’s closed eyes, knowing he was utterly relaxed under your touch. He was the cutest thing and you had a blast walking and playing with him all day. You checked his training and he was responsive, though testy of the limits, and you made sure he understood that he had to listen to you. During your second walk, he behaved so well and was rewarded so much that you thought he wouldn’t have an appetite for dinner, but he surprised you. And now he was sleeping soundly and you didn’t want to get up, but it was time for your own dinner. Maybe you could cook something up for you and—

Your phone buzzed and you checked it; speaking of the devil.

[It’s taking longer than expected so I’ll eat here. Treat yourself sorry see you soon! 💜]

You sighed. In the end, you were going to spend it with that cutie as your Valentine. You stretched your arms and shoulders, pressing your fingers to your neck before gaining the courage to slide under the Doberman. He wasn’t pleased and adjusted his head to get back on your thigh.

“No, Bamie. I gotta eat something, come on.”

You slid again and turned on the TV as background noise before getting to the kitchen and checking your best friend’s fridge. You decided to eat a bit of everything that you could find and got set to eat on the sofa in front of the TV. Not even five minutes in, you became sort of annoyed — stupid Valentine’s Day ads. You told Bam firmly not to even think about snatching your food before you focused on streaming something instead. A corny and sweet romcom should be fun.

And you had dinner as you laughed and cried with it until a scene came up where the main character cried her sorrows over a bottle of soju and you thought, Why not? You had nothing planned the next day, at least you could have a drink.

You started with a single soju bottle, but as the episodes played and the night passed, you didn’t stop. Eventually, there were empty bottles of beer and soju and you were feeling dizzy, despite being sat down on the couch. Your last reasonable thought was to turn off the TV, the only source of light in the room, before holding on to Bam as if he were a pillow and falling asleep.

It was the sound of bottles clicking that disturbed your sleep, and your instinct was to wrap your arms closer around the fluffy dog, “Bam.”

He was wiggling his tail like crazy, and in your haze, you connected that to the bottles falling over. Not to the extra dip on the other side of the chaise longue.

Perhaps it was the fact that you heard your best friend’s voice in the distance that relaxed you, not quite registering that it disappeared after the front door closed. It was only when a different scent hit your nose that you started connecting the pieces: Bam was squeezed between you and someone else, their hand touched your arm ever so slightly while they petted him, and that musky scent was from a man.

You opened your eyes, confused by your conclusions, but not at the top of your game — a quick nap was not enough to make you sober.

“Who are you?”

Bam’s tail kept wiggling as he seemed busy facing opposite from you, looking at the person who answered you, “Who are you?”

He sounded sleepy and you couldn’t see him properly. The city lights from the window were enough but you were still too hazy.

“I asked first,” you voiced, rubbing your eyes. He didn’t seem willing to respond quickly enough, but you could feel him still petting Bam, so you sulked. You wrapped your arms around the pet harder, “Bamie is mine!”

Instantly, a new set of arms did the same and tried to steal him away, “No, he’s not! I’m his dad!”

“And I’m his mom!” The man scoffed and you raised your chin proudly. “Don’t believe me? Look.”

You let go of Bam and scanned around, seeing where you could put your feet safely in between the bottles. Then you got up and walked a bit unsteadily across the living room, standing next to the window. You could see the shape of the man all in black, including his hair, looking at you from his comfortable position with the sweet Bam happily smelling around.

He could see your expression, your baggy tee shirt falling over you and covered with cartoons, but he only cared about Bam staying in his arms. Because of course, he would.

“Bam!”

He gasped when Bam jumped from his embrace to get to you, frantically wiggling his whole body before lying on his back over your feet. He gaped as his Doberman showed his belly, happily licking your face and squirming under your belly rubs.

“Such a good boy,” you cooed, grinning from ear to ear.

Then you straightened up and snapped your fingers and Bam got up too, easily following you back on the couch and splaying himself belly up in between you and the man.

“There you go,” you murmured, scratching his belly and up his chest much to Bam’s delight.

It was when Bam squirmed that his snout ended up under the man’s chin and you saw him clearly for the first time. Then he spoke and you smiled.

You woke up with a groan, drool all over the pillow, and a headache to make you want to run for the hills. But then you sat up, confusion still scrambling your brain as you eyed the bedroom.

“Bam?”

You waited but the sound of paws scratching the floor didn't grace your ears, so you got up from bed and searched for him. You looked everywhere, calling for him every few seconds, but he didn’t come out and you couldn’t seem to find him. In fact, there was no one else at home but you, which made you befuddled — where was your best friend?

Your hangover was deadly, it was trying to pull you down with a headache the size of the world. And so you beelined to the bathroom and stripped hastily to get your head under the water and try to wake up gently.

But there was no gentleness to be found when suddenly you remember something — there was a man. Yes, but— You— kissed?

Suddenly, you were flooded with the memories of you kissing, his gentle hand cupping your jaw, your trembling breath when your tongues touched. The foreign thing that ended up being a lip ring that you felt with your tongue. The way the kiss deepened, and your legs got tangled even beyond sweet Bam lying in between you.

You were hyperventilating, “What?!”

You did what?!

Did you kiss a random man? On your best friend’s couch in the middle of the night? Or did you hallucinate him because of the alcohol?

Suddenly, it came to you — he tasted of beer, and you told him as much.

You felt him smile against your lips, “And you taste of strawberry soju.”

You remembered chuckling before kissing him again, burying your fingers into slightly overgrown strands of hair that curled around your hand.

You rubbed your face under the water; you kissed him. You were both drunk, and you couldn’t remember everything, but you pressed your lips to—

You stopped breathing.

You were feeling his shoulders and pulling him close when Bam started licking both your faces, which made you both break away and laugh.

“I have to pee,” you had said, getting up.

Before you could be mortified about having said that to a random guy, you recognized that after you went to the bathroom, you forgot about getting back to the couch. Instead, you went to bed on autopilot and fell asleep. Because you were that drunk.

Well, thankfully. Otherwise, what could have ended up happening? You were not in your right mind, you could barely remember his face aside from his eyes and lip ring. You were crazy, nuts, and shouldn’t drink that much again.

You got out of the shower and got dressed quickly with more lenient thoughts. Since only kissing happened, it was okay. No harm no foul.

Your stomach was adding to the problem, but you still decided to take headache medicine before your phone buzzed and you grabbed it.

[Meet me at work and have breakfast with me?]

You agreed and got your stuff to go to her. The subway trip was twenty minutes but it was alright at that hour. The HYBE building was in a very busy area, so to already have a direct line there was a blessing.

You gave your name at the reception to get a visitor pass and went to the floor she indicated, smiling when you saw it was a cafeteria with breakfast all around.

She met you at the door and walked you through it before sitting down and watching you eat your broth carefully.

“Lots of people need caring for this morning. Funny what Valentine’s Day does to some people,” she was amused, though her expression screamed exhaustion. “If they’re in couple they drink together, if they’re single they drink alone. There’s no escape, is there?”

You were looking down apologetically until you could talk, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me. I… raided your fridge.”

She sighed, “I know, I saw the bottles on the floor. Hence why you’re here, to have a power breakfast.”

“What happened yesterday? Why didn’t you come home?”

Your best friend heaved a deep breath, her spirit hanging on by a thread, “My artist went to a friend's dinner last night and got drunk. I got his driver to get him home but they had an accident,” she sighed. Your eyes widened in alarm, but she raised her hand swiftly, “They’re both alright. This all to say that after my meeting got lost into late hours, instead of going home, I had to go and manage that situation.”

“That sucks…” You thought back to the previous night, unsure of how to introduce the topic.

“By the way, thank you for taking care of Bam. My artist and I really appreciated it—”

She was interrupted when a spot of black dashed for you, barking the instant you took a second to acknowledge his presence. You instantly smiled despite the horrid headache the noise was making and reached to pet him.

“No, Bam! No eating!”

“It’s not the food,” your best friend pointed out jokingly, dismissing the manager nearby who tried to admonish the pet.

You were happy to give him all the cuddles that were making him go crazy and whiny; you were happy to see him again too. It instantly pulled memories from the previous night into your mind and you wondered again how to bring it up with your best friend when a voice interrupted your thoughts.

“Bam.”

Bam was licking your hand happily, yet instantly darted away at the call, and you knew before you looked up. It was him. You recognized the longer hair you had gripped, the lip ring, and the eyes. The sweet yet searing eyes.

He got near your table and bowed to you both before starting a light talk with your best friend about the schedule for the day.

And you blinked, wondering why his eyes set on your best friend’s face, or rather why the whole situation felt like a gut punch. He must have been the artist your best friend was referring to, the one she managed. You wouldn’t know, she was secretive about who it was. But the way he was ignoring you couldn’t be mistaken. He didn’t acknowledge you more than that bow, but why would he? You knew who he was.

The moment your lips grazed in a slow kiss while his hand gently supported your jaw came to mind and you blinked in astonishment. You couldn't believe it happened. Even as you remembered opening your eyes the moment he pulled away a few inches to breathe and looked straight into your eyes. It was impossible. Even if you were both drunk, how—

“Excuse me.” The three of you turned to the lady in uniform. “No pets are allowed in the cafeteria,” she bowed respectfully.

It was easy for you to get up, “I’ll take Bam to the rooftop garden.”

You grabbed his leash from the man’s hand without touching him and he let it go, a bit startled. Not that you noticed; you stepped away and called for Bam, who followed you swiftly.

Jungkook stayed behind, eyes still on you leaving with his dog until you were out of sight.

“She’ll take good care of him.”

He turned back to his manager and nodded, “I know.”

His manager was ready to use every argument she had to convince him, so she chuckled, “Funny how yesterday you were borderline going nuts over a stranger taking care of him and now you’re so relaxed.”

He nodded and looked back at where you disappeared with his Bam. You were not a stranger.

“What’s that look?” She asked, eyebrows furrowing ever so lightly.

He pressed his lips and nibbled a bit on his lip ring, but then looked back at her, “When you left me at your place… something happened.”

A mix of fear and ‘oh no’ crossed his manager's face and he sat across from her where you had sat before, ignoring your tray and half-eaten food.

“We were both drunk,” he started, expecting her not to believe him, but she just nodded. “And Bam loves her. We just—” He filled his lungs with air, pushing it back out anxiously as his tattooed hand ran across his hair, “We joked around that I was Bam’s dad and she was his mom. Then, that we were both alone, nowhere close to having a Valentine, and that maybe Bam was our cupid. Instead of meeting and making a baby, the baby— made us—” He became crimson and hid his eyes for a second, then he faced her again, “We were drunk!”

“You said that,” she deadpanned firmly. She was his manager, she needed to know things in black and white. He knew that.

“So we joked. Maybe we should get together, and we kissed.”

Her eyes doubled in size, “Oh no, you didn’t!”

“We just kissed!”

Her features hardened, “Tell me right now. Tell me the truth.”

“It’s the truth! I swear, we kissed— for a while—” His ears were becoming red, “And then she went to the bathroom and I fell asleep.” His manager’s expression had not changed a millimeter, and his eyes became pleading. “You have to believe me. You woke me up and I was alone with Bam.”

“That’s true,” she acknowledged, finally heaving a breath. “Shit, this is my fault. Leave two drunk people alone, and see what happens.”

He frowned, “I don’t just go around kissing people, even when I’m drunk.”

She faced him, “That is also true.” It seemed clear to her, so he relaxed. “So what happened? Why did you kiss her?”

He blinked with wide eyes, startled by the question. “I… I don’t know.”

He looked down, containing the urge to look back at where you had left with his pet. He didn’t even know your name, he knew nothing except that Bam loved you and you tasted sweet.

His manager waited for a proper response, for any additional information. But when none came, she knew what she had to do. She sighed, “Well. I’ll have to contact our lawyers and draft an NDA. She’s my best friend”, she confessed, rubbing her eyes for a second. “Shit,” was all she expressed before getting up and rushing out.

Jungkook pressed his lips and let her leave. He was confused about the situation, about his actions. He knew so little… Why did he think it was enough?

He put away the trays you and his manager had used while he pondered this. In a way, Bam’s heart meant everything to him. The way Jungkook loved him was unexplainable, he was the only soul in the world he could ever love in such a way. His innocence and instinct were enough, and he listened to you like he only ever listened to Jungkook himself. That shouldn’t have been enough, but it was.

And he was drunk, he sighed, leaving the room. It was his fault, he knew that. He shouldn’t kiss people irresponsibly like that, and now his manager was in a tough spot.

He decided to head for the rooftop and sort this out with you. He didn’t know what to say, but he thought maybe it didn’t have to be a big deal. You two just did it and it was… freeing. There were no inhibitions or second thoughts. It was playful and innocent, and then your lips touched. He didn’t know it would feel like that, he hadn’t thought it through. But it felt so good. It created shivers, made him hot, curious, awake, alive. He had no questions, no doubts, it was like jumping out of an airplane and freefalling. It was like the wind was guiding him to fit together with you, there was nothing in him telling him to fight it.

He got to the rooftop and immediately saw you across the garden sitting on a bench with his manager, and your best friend, next to you. Bam saw him too and raised his head and ears, but he was busy grabbing a stick that had just fallen on the floor and bringing it back to you. Jungkook could have expected him to drop everything to greet him, but Bam didn’t.

His manager was explaining something to you and your eyes were glued to the floor, expression closed except for the line between your eyebrows. Only when Bam brought you back the stick and you threw it again, did you look up. Jungkook was walking closer yet slowly, not meaning to intrude, and you had thrown the stick almost right into his path. That was why Bam happily gave it to him instead, and he crouched to pet his baby while his eyes stayed on you.

Your eyes turned away when you said something. He couldn’t hear it from there, but he knew the words out of your mouth were cold. He recognized his manager trying to have you reconsider or change your mind, but your eyebrows drew closer as you bit something back and just got up and away.

You didn’t look at him as you walked in his direction towards the exit. You planned to pass by him without a word, a mix of emotions inside you that you preferred not to address. And yet Bam was what forced you to change your mind when he lit up at your presence. He looked for a pet from your hand and you immediately halted, unable to punish that sweet pup because of his dad.

Still, the words slipped the seam of your lips somewhat bitterly, “Are you a baby?”

“What?” He blinked, eyes wide as he straightened up.

“You kiss someone and your first instinct is to threaten them with NDAs?” You were frowning with a hint of contempt, but your eyes were glistening. You continued before he could say anything, “I won’t sign it. I don’t care what any of you think, this isn’t normal. You regret it? Fine, but then act like a fucking adult.”

He was at a loss for words and movement behind you had him glancing, and so you turned. Your best friend had a serious expression on her, something you imagined was her work persona. Well, too bad you had no sympathy for it.

“No,” you raised a hand before she could say something. “You’re doing your job, and I’m standing up for my principles. I’ll go to your place and get my stuff.”

You passed by him at a hastened pace and the second he turned to say, “Wait!”, the heavy glass door was already closing behind you, muffling every trace of a sound.

He turned to his manager then, seeing the tiredness, sadness, and frustration all over her face as she heaved a deep sigh and hid the tears in her eyes.

His lips twitched with a question, but she spoke instead, “She thinks I’m choosing my job over her.”

“But you’re not,” he instantly said, confused. “This isn’t necessary.”

She sighed, “I’ll deal with this, ok? Get to your shoot.”

She also passed by him quickly inside and Jungkook looked at Bam, who was lying on the floor chewing on the stick with a hard focus. Why were they so eager to get anything done without a proper conversation?

He took Bam with him across HYBE and got inside the car with other managers and assistants. They were waiting for him to continue his schedule, chatting about Bam. It would be difficult to have him on the set, but they’d contact a sitter on the way—

“Take me to Manager Kim’s place.”

“What?” His manager frowned, “Now?”

“Yes, now. To drop off Bam,” he offered, though he knew it was a lie. His manager agreed though because he knew Bam had stayed there the previous day, and being late to the shoot was fixed with a simple call giving them a warning and an apology.

Jungkook left the car first, saying that he’d go and come back quickly, and the team agreed, to his relief. He was upstairs in a beat in front of the right door, yet before he could ring the doorbell, the door opened in front of him and something crashed into his chest. His heart jumped and his hands darted to support your arms as you recoiled back, and then you looked up at him. Such beautiful big and expressive eyes, and he knew then he would have wanted to kiss you anyway.

You broke away from his arms and moved to go around him. He didn’t miss your frown, but he didn’t hesitate, “Can we talk?”

“I’m not going to sign it,” you insisted as you turned to him, adjusting your backpack over your shoulder. “But you don’t need to worry, that doesn’t mean I’ll talk about it. I’m not like that.”

He nodded once, “Okay. But that’s not what I want to talk about.”

You paused, “Oh.”

Your features smoothed in confusion and he was happy he caught your attention, “Can we go inside?”

You shrugged but walked back inside. You petted Bam gently between his ears then put your backpack down on the floor. By then, Jungkook had released Bam’s leash and closed the door. The sweet baby darted to the water bowl and your lips curved before his dad drew your attention away.

“I don’t regret it,” he said, and your eyebrows jumped. “You keep saying that, but I don’t. And I didn’t ask Manager Kim to do this either, I suppose it’s standard procedure or something. I wouldn’t know. But she’s just doing her best because she feels responsible.”

You were skeptical, “You wouldn’t know?”

“No.”

You found that hard to believe, but you didn’t insist. It had nothing to do with you. “Why would she feel responsible?”

“Because she’s in charge of me, I guess. Managers tend to feel like that even when we are, in fact, not babies.”

Your lips twitched at his choice of words.

“So don’t get mad at her. After this, I’m going to tell her to stop it. I don’t want this NDA thing, and neither do you. It’s not necessary,” he sighed. He had told his manager that before, but maybe if he insisted, she’d get it.

You nodded.

“And thank you for looking after Bam,” he finished with a smile. The Doberman had jumped on the couch a bit carelessly, but he was calm. “He’s usually nervous around strangers, but he loves you. You might really be his Mom for all he cares,” he smirked, watching as you stepped to the side to pet Bam. “And I wouldn’t… separate him from a person he loves. If you’d like to see him again.”

Your cheeks instantly caught fire as you looked at him. He held your gaze calmly, the only hint of nervousness in his fingers fidgeting. You didn’t think you were misunderstanding him, then.

“I can make time.”

He smiled, “Good.”

#jeon jungkook #bts fanfic #bts imagines #bangtan sonyeondan #bts #ao3 fanfic #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook #fluff #bts fluff #bts angst #bts x reader #Bam #Jeon Bam #bts au #bts au fanfic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook au #jungkook imagine #jungkook angst #jungkook x you #lo1k-diamonds writes 💎

[goldtippedfeathers]

good morning feathers! ☀️

the weather is nice again, so that’s a yay! my sleep was entirely terrible last night though, hence why i woke up so late. regardless, the sun is shining, i have take it easy stuck in my head (i have come to discover i constantly have a soundtrack of music playing in my head, which isn’t what i considered abnormal, until i talked to someone and they told me their mind ISNT always blaring tunes and thoughts and i was like, whaaaa-)

yesterday actually ended up being busier than i thought. had to run some errands at the store, get some headshots taken, and then do some groceries because we had NO vegetables :( but now the fridge is stocked and colourful and i’m happy :) 🥗

plans for today are the following:

sunday clean (change bedsheets, clean my room, wash my hair, put away laundry, etc)

go on my walk and take my dog for hers

read the books i got from the library

finish the chapter i wrote yesterday (i have a little less than half to go).

also!! i want to pick up poetry and sketching again for the following reasons: 1) to be able to draw certain scenes from my book that i just NEED in my hands; 2) because i’m really into poetry and classical greek/latin literature right now (again) and i want to learn the iambic pentameter

oh! also! here’s the library haul from yesterday! i can’t believe libraries are real omg i love them so much. 📚 🦉 🍂

on the nature of things by lucretius, translated by frank o. copley

the argonautica by rhodius apollonius, translated by richard hunter

death note vol. 1 💀 by tsugumi oba

THEY DIDNT HAVE ANY EDGAR ALLEN POE :((( it was all signed out which was so sad. i’m going back next week when i’m done all these books, i’m bringing a bigger bag

okay! toodles! i hope you find five things to be grateful about today, and five things that make you feel lovely 💕 ✨ 🌸

#goldtippedfeathers #digital diary #books #books and literature

[duck-in-a-spaceship]

New chapter! Sorry for the tiny delay, got caught up with stuff yesterday. Hope you enjoy!

<<Prev - Next>>

+++

“Come on, come on, we’re almost there!” Neil urged Todd along, flapping his hands as if that could make him go faster.

“If we’re almost there-” Todd began, stepping over a gnarled tree branch in his path. “-then why do we need to hurry so much?” He stumbled, and nearly crashed into Neil in an attempt to steady himself. A tree stopped his fall instead.

“Because we’re excited,” Neil said, oblivious to the near-disaster that just occurred behind him. He paused and turned to Todd, flashed the light on his face so Todd could see his grin. “Aren’t you excited?”

“Yeah, I’m excited. I’m even more excited not to fall into a tree.” Todd caught up with Neil, pushing the flashlight out of his face as he passed by. “Don’t do that, you’ll blind yourself.”

Neil started walking again, whirling around so he was facing the right way. “I’m not going to blind myself, come on.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me,” Todd quipped back absentmindedly, back to focusing on where his feet landed. Honestly though, he was pretty sure those flashlights they had were industrial strength; they cut through the night like knives, left shadows dripping away from their beams like blood.

Onwards they went- over fallen trunks like bridges over seas of moss, under trees that blotted out certain stars to create their own constellations, through vines that draped like the curtains of a theater, concealing them further and further backstage.

Todd followed Neil into the cave, careful to watch his head on the way in.

“Are you ready?” Neil asked as they got settled.

Todd nodded, pulling out the book and letting it land with a heavy thud in his lap. “You?” he asked back.

“Well sure, it’s not like I have to do much.”

The rustling of pages slowed to silence as Todd paused for a moment, looking up at Neil. “You know… why not?”

“What do you mean why not?” Neil tilted his head slightly, and Todd returned to flipping through the book as he spoke, not looking up.

“Well I’m just saying, you can read something at these meetings too. I know that’s not the point but…” Todd found the right page, and fiddled with the bit Keating had folded over. “It might be nice,” he finished softly, looking back up at Neil.

“Yeah, alright.” Neil smiled, leaning on the rocky wall behind him. “Yeah, alright, I like that idea. Damn, I’ll have to find something good then.” He seemed to contemplate that notion for a moment, looking up at the ceiling to think. Then he shook his head, instead nodding at the book in Todd’s hands. “But, hey, quit stalling. You’re still up, you know.”

“I’m going,” he insisted.

Neil grinned, sitting back up and leaning in with anticipation. “Am I allowed to look this time?”

Todd bit the inside of his cheek, stamping down a smile. “Yeah, sure.”

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Todd cleared his throat after he finished the poem, closing the book around the words. When he looked up, he found Neil still grinning, looking up at him with a certain gleam to his eye. The same gleam, Todd was starting to learn, as when he suggested they do this in the first place, when he urged Todd on to read, when he pressed their foreheads together in the hallway, when he was about to do something that would make Todd’s stomach flip.

“You stole that from Keating,” Neil proclaimed.

“I- what?”

“The poem, he was talking about it in class earlier, you just took his idea.” Neil grinned as he spoke, clearly enjoying the teasing, and Todd resisted the urge to remind him which one of them was holding the very heavy book of poetry.

“I didn’t steal his idea, I asked him for recommendations and he gave me this.”

“Aw, you’re a teacher’s pet,” Neil joked, jumping to his feet just so he could sit right back down next to Todd.

“Well- hey you were the one that told me to go to Keating!” Todd shoved him away a bit, but Neil didn’t seem to mind, laughing him off.

“And you took my advice!”

“Only because he basically cornered me during the lesson today.”

“Well, good for him. I’ve noticed that’s the best way to make friends with a Todd.” He elbowed Todd in the side, which earned him a swat in the arm in return.

“Other than dragging him into your secret societies, right?”

“Alright, fine, second best way.”

Todd smiled into his lap, pulling his coat a little tighter around his body. It was hardly necessary though; the cave seemed to trap in their warmth, like a protective shield.

“Hey, thanks for that, by the way.”

“Hm?” Neil asked softly, and Todd had the feeling he had been about to fall asleep.

“For getting me into the Dead Poets Society and… introducing me to all of your friends and stuff. You didn’t have to do all that.”

“Of course I did,” Neil said, and his smile was so incredibly genuine, eyes shining even in the dim lighting of the cave, that Todd was robbed of the ability to do anything other than nod. Neil linked their arms together, pulling Todd to his feet. “Come here.”

Todd allowed himself to be pulled up, tucking the book under his arm. “Back to Welton?” he asked. “Or is this another one of your adventures?”

Neil grinned as he dragged Todd out of the cave. “Adventure,” he confirmed, looking over his shoulder at Todd. “Don’t worry, I promise it’ll be a quick one.”

Todd nodded, and bit back the urge to assure him that it didn’t have to be, that he didn't really mind either way.

He was led around to the side of the cave, the leaves doused with last night’s rain pressing down under their feet, not crunching together as much as soggily rustling. Neil pulled his arm away from Todd’s, instead grabbing onto the side of the cave, first a rock jutting out from the side, then a root wrapped around the stone, then he was scrabbling all the way up, sending down a waterfall of leaves.

Neil turned back around, and offered a hand out to Todd.

“You want- up there?” was all Todd could say, taking half a step back.

“Yeah! Oh come on, Todd, it’s not that far.”

“You almost fell!”

“But I didn’t,” Neil pointed out triumphantly. “Besides, you’re more coordinated than me, and I can help you up.” He waggled his fingers, as if Todd was a cat he was trying to tempt up onto the counter top.

Todd looked through the trees, over in the direction he knew Welton to be in. It would be all too easy to just start the trek back but… well that wasn’t what he wanted, now was it? If Todd wanted to be back at Welton instead of balancing on the top of caves, he never would have left the comfort of his bed in the first place.

“I mean, you don’t have to, of course, but I-”

Todd cut Neil off with a sigh and shoved Keating’s book at him. “Hold this.”

“Gladly,” Neil said, accepting the book with a smile, and shifting back to give Todd the room he needed to scramble up after him. The rock was wet, cold, and, where Neil hadn’t knocked them off, covered in leaves. They slid over the surface like slips of newspaper draped wetly over a balloon in still-drying paper mache, slick under Todd’s hands but sticking to his fingers when he pulled them away. With careful progression, Todd slowly made his way to the top, accepting Neil’s hand to help him up the final steps of his journey.

“You got it?” Neil asked, and Todd nodded, not quite ready to let go of him. The top of the cave was even worse than its sides, covered in layers of slippery foliage, and Todd was ever-mindful of the opening in the cave just behind them. The once-convenient smoke port for their fireplaces had become a hazard, and Todd silently consoled himself with the fact that at least it would be a short fall, if he did go tumbling down.

“Did you have a plan here, or was this it?”

“Of course I have a plan.” Neil sounded slightly offended, so Todd shrugged in defeat, and didn’t press him any further. A couple moments went by, during which they did nothing but stare at the trees, and Todd was just about to ask if Neil would like to elaborate when-

“YAWP!!!”

Todd stumbled backwards slightly, just barely managing to stay up right and save himself from disaster. “Holy shit Neil what was that for?”

Neil just laughed, grabbing onto his knees as he doubled over. “Sorry, sorry! I just-” he straightened up, looked over at Todd. “Keating was right, it feels good! Go on, you try.”

“I did it last time.”

“Yeah, in class. This is way better, no walls, no rules, no limitations just-” Neil spread a sweeping arm over the forest in front of them. “-just this. Just us.”

Todd relented, stepping towards the edge of the rocks, clearing his throat slightly. He found himself wishing he still had the book, just for something to do with his hands, but Neil still had it firmly in his possession. He stuffed them into his pockets instead.

“Yawp!” Todd shouted, immediately disappointed by how flat the word sounded. Neil was right; the sound couldn’t bounce off the walls of the classroom and back to him, it was eaten instead, by the layers of leaves and branches. The toe of his boot scooched slightly closer to the edge of the rocks, pushing leaves over the side. Todd pulled his hands out of his pockets, and cupped them around his mouth. “YAWP!”

“Yes!” Neil cheered, punching him in the shoulder, and Todd stepped away from the edge, stuffed a hand back into his pocket, while the other grabbed onto Neil’s sleeve to make sure he wouldn’t go tumbling over. Or, at least, to make sure they’d fall together. “Didn’t that feel good? I mean, god, we could say anything up here! Anything we want, who cares?”

Neil turned back to the forest, spreading his hand that wasn’t clutching the book out wide. “I’m gonna be an actor!”

“I’m gonna be a poet!”

“Yeah!” Neil shouted. “No matter what anyone says!”

“Fuck Welton!”

Neil laughed, pumping his fist into the air. “Fuck Welton!”

That got Todd laughing too. “You’re right, that does feel pretty good.”

“Right? God I wish we could do this at Welton. Just stand on the top of the stairway and shout things to the world.”

Todd scoffed, and shifted so he was sitting down on the edge of the rocks, with his legs swinging down into the cave itself. Neil joined him. “That’s a good way to get expelled,” he agreed. “I bet you could get Charlie to do it though.”

“Well, Charlie would have to do it alone. My dad would kill me if he found out I was being so disrespectful. Although, if I was lucky, he might have a heart attack first.”

Todd smiled, looking down at his feet, swinging through the air next to Neil’s. “Neil I- are you sure this play thing is a good idea?”

Neil’s feet stopped swinging in the air, and Todd felt his shoulders stiffen.

“Listen, just, I know it’s what you want to do and all, but if you get caught then-”

“If this, if that!” Neil exclaimed, cutting him off. He threw his hands into the air, deliberately looking away from Todd. “I know it’s risky, I know my dad will have a fit if I get caught but… dammit Todd I can’t… I can’t not do this, you know?” He looked over with wide, pleading eyes, and Todd tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

He was saved from having to talk around it as Neil continued. “I mean, I’ve thought this through. I know all the bad things that could happen, but none of them seem to matter. Because none of them seem worse than not acting, than not doing this at all. I need to try, at least once in my life, and then he can send me off to medical school or Harvard or wherever, and I’ll be able to bear it because at least I had this, this one thing that he couldn’t take from me. At least I did it once.”

The wind rustled through the trees, and Todd pulled his jacket tighter around his chest. He bit on the inside of his cheek, turning his next words over in his mind. He desperately didn’t want to say the wrong thing, but he had no idea what right thing was supposed to replace it. “I just don’t want you to… to get hurt or anything.”

For some reason, that got Neil to crack a smile, gently knocking his shoulder against Todd’s. “You know I was joking earlier when I said my dad would kill me, right? I’d be fine, Todd.”

Todd smiled in return, ever so slightly. “No I know, it’s just… I don’t want your dreams to get crushed. I know how important this is to you and… and I don’t want him to ruin that.”

“I think I’d be letting him ruin it already if I never even tried.”

“Yeah… yeah I guess so.”

Neil stood up, rising to his feet and sticking a hand out to Todd. “Besides, you’re such a pessimist,” he said as he helped his friend up, brushing the leaves away from Todd’s jacket. “I’m not going to get caught. The hard part was the auditions and paperwork; it’s all smooth sailing from here.” He smiled, offering the book out to Todd, who finally took it back. “Trust me.”

And as Neil helped him down the edge of the cave (after nearly falling on his face himself) and they made their way through the forest and back to Welton, Todd found that, for some reason, he absolutely did.

#dead poets society #fanfiction #duck writes #todd anderson #neil perry #sorry the links on these keep breaking btw #lemme know if anything is linked up wrong and i'll try to fix it #not the ao3 ones just the next and prev #im sure a lot of people read on ao3 anyway

[rrrandomism]

Uh... I have a super random theory about Seong Yohan's past (?)

So according to ep. 137, after the dog cult thing, Seong Yohan disappeared and his mom was sent to rehab.

A year later he joined the national boxing competition with Lee Jinsung as his opponent. He won. And after the match, he was seen to be with some guy. Was he Yohan's mentor?

He said something along the lines of "do you have any regrets?" Yohan answered "i have no regrets, neither do i have friends", implying that he has abandoned his childhood besties, Lee Jinsung and Kim Mijin.

Whoever that mysterious guy was, he must've known about Yohan's background. My theory is that the guy who was with Yohan was Park Jonggun. Crazy, right? But here's why i think so.

In the Kim Gimyung / Big Deal Arc, it was said that Seong Yohan escaped the dog cult and ran all the way from wherever that cult was to Gangseo-gu a.k.a Big Deal's turf. Yohan was found by Kwon Jitae (see ep. 306)

Jitae took him in only to see Yohan be rejected by Seo Songeun. He said Yohan couldn't join Big Deal due to their financial situation that prevented them from recruiting new members.

"If you want to make money so badly, just steal some shoes and sell them, man..." - Seo Songeun, 16 years old.

And Yohan be like: "Ok"

So he fought a bunch of dudes and stole their shoes.

Until Jonggun found him and took him under his wing (Ep. 211)

Jonggun offered him to take over Gangbuk-gu by forming a crew. "You can make a lotta money out of that," he said.

Seong Yohan accepted the offer, hence God Dog, right?

So how is this related to the boxing competition? Here's how.

Some conversation must've taken place off panel right after Jonggun found him, which i assume was a year after Yohan left Gangseo-gu (notice the change of Yohan's appearance in ep. 211, and compare it to when he was staying at Big Deal's in ep. 307).

I imagine the conversation went like this:

Yohan: "I accept your offer, but I have one last thing to do before I join your business."

Jonggun: "Sure buddy, whaddya want?"

Yohan: "I want to defeat my rival in the upcoming national boxing competition. I want to leave everything behind."

Jonggun: "Gotcha."

And then episode 138 happened. And this was Kim Mijin's POV:

As Yohan walked away, I couldn't catch him. Yohan once again disappeared without a trace before our eyes.

Damn you, ninja cutting onions!

And so, Yohan left his childhood best friends and formed God Dog. And also became buddies with Park Jonggun.

And then, at the end of episode 138, Park Jonggun said something along the lines of, "Seems like yesterday you trained yourself and won. Forget boxing, man. Let's make some serious money."

And Yohan was like, "Hell yeah, dude. I'm gonna take over your position for real."

BUT HEY, IT'S JUST A THEORY. A LOOKISM THEORY!

Thank you for reading!!

I'm gonna do a recap on God Dog next. Peace✌️

#lookism #lookism webtoon #johan seong #park jonggun #lookism theory

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

1, 13, 15 and 18 please

Oooo yesss let's go!

[Questions Post]

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

HAHAHAA Baskerville 💀 It started out as a Sherlock obsession and then it became 'every other font looks strange when i use them' lmaooooo also it's not the default because i still write academic papers too so my default setting is in Times New Roman lol

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

Strangely enough, considering my two most popular series revolve around it, thriller/suspense. It's hard to balance the line between suspense and cringe as well as mixing actions/dialogues that people would realistically have when put in those situations. Hence why I'm writing Zemblanity, very few people would actually roll over and take things in stride, now I have to give YN a reason to do so to make it more worth the read. For easy, Prominence haha. Just tooth rotting fluff mixed with comedy lol, it's the easiest series to update haha

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

I'll do it for my academic novels, the school mandated ones. Writing in margins and highlighting passages, I even use sticky notes to mark important passages haha. For pleasure reading (not school affiliated) I just read through it lmao. But I don't Dog-Ear, I'm more of a bookmark person lol I just think it's neater, but no shame if anyone else does differently! Everyone reads differently :)

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

From [Covalence] (SPOILERS of course), two passages:

II. Friends - You didn’t want to overstep your boundaries, even though you’ve both known each other for quite some time now, you didn’t know where you stood with him. So you curled up on the surprisingly comfortable couch and knocked out. When you had woken up yourself you had already noticed hushed sounds coming from the kitchen, alongside the unmistakable aroma of pancakes, you could tell that he was probably trying his best to stay quiet so as to not wake you up. You were surprised that Kun had woken up before you, considering how out of it he was last night, but at least you knew he was okay now. You combed your hand through your messy hair and walked into the bathroom, putting on the same clothes from yesterday and folding the ones you had borrowed. Then, you walked into the kitchen right as he plated the eggs and pancakes.

III. Lovers - The number of times you wanted to tell him how much you loved him, even so now you wanted to hold him in your arms and shower him with praises, and it was only your dignity held you back from doing so, but you could comfortably say that you didn’t think that you would ever love this way again. There was just that spark, that flicker of vitality that kept the relationship alive and well. Maybe it wasn’t that you couldn’t love this way again, it was that you didn’t want to. The next morning, he was heating up leftovers in the microwave when you walked out, sitting on the kitchen countertop first thing as you usually did.

These two passages were actually meant to contrast each other. Where II. Friends shows the process of falling in love and finding the characteristics and actions that Kun and YN love about each other, III. Lovers shows the process of falling out. I tried my best to write it subtly, one of those things that becomes "the girls who get it get it and the girls who don't don't" kind of thing. The most obvious point out is from pancakes to leftovers, but with more context, YN's description of her interactions with Kun go from slightly awkward and not wanting him to think ill of her to straight up wanting to hold him closer to her despite the signs of the stagnation of the relationship. This is something I've always had in mind for this fic, a progression of a love story that was essentially right person, wrong time and just, ya know, angst.

#asks #qui 🐐 #ask games

[rositxespinosa]

30 to 40 of the weird asks! :D

30. Are there dishes in your room? The only dish in my room is an empty coffee cup because I just finished drinking my morning coffee :) last night I had a few dirty dishes in my room but I took them downstairs this morning. Aside from the coffee cup, I have a water cup but I always have a cup for water with me, so I am not sure if that counts!

31. What type of music keeps you grounded? I don't have a specific type of music, but I have a few playlists of Spotify that ground or calm me down. The playlist titles are "decompress", "Barnes and Noble trip", and "stretching". There are songs on these playlists that help calm me down rather than make me hyped up. I need that sometimes, especially if I am experiencing anxiety or need to decompress after a long day.

32. Do you have a favorite towel? I do not haha. I just prefer a large body towel that wraps around my body nicely :)

33. The last adventure you've been on? Not this Monday, but the Monday before that my mom, sister, and I went out and saw Wonka. A more recent adventure would be the walk I went on with my mom and our dog yesterday. But the last big adventure I went on was last year when I went to Disney World with my family!

34. Is there a song you know every word to by heart? I am positive there are many! I just don't think I could name them all!

35. What's your time zone? Central time zone

36. How many times have you changed your URL? Once. I had the same one since I made this account, then a little over a year ago I changed it to what it is now!

37. Someone in your life, other than a relative, that you've known for 10+ years? A woman my mom has been friends with for a very long time. When my brother and I were younger, we took piano lessons from her at her house during the week. Those were simpler times :)

38. A soap bar that smells good? I don't typically use bar soap, but Bath and Body has bar soaps now that smell good, and Dove smells good too! Maybe Dr Bronners as well. I want to try one of those!

39. Do you use lip balm? I sure do! I use the typical Vaseline or Aquaphor, but I also have a Burts Bees and Lip smackers ones that have fun packaging and flavors that I enjoy!

40. Did you have any snacks today? Not yet. I woke up at 8:30 and make some hot coffee but I haven't had breakfast yet. I was snacking late at night so I didn't feel good this morning, hence why I decided against breakfast.

These were fun to answer, so thank you for sending them in!! <3

#ask games

[dreamca1cher]

WIEIAD

like 1/4 of my regular Starbucks shit (brown sugar shaken) -

About 48c

Médium fry from McDonalds 😭 - 320c

——————

Steps: 4.5k

Cals burnt: 200 smthn

Net: 120c

——————-

Why am I like the worst at having an ED EVER??? Literally had like 4 tacos yesterday 💀 (corn tortillas and like 600c) My brother’s gf is in recovery so I feel bad if I don’t eat around her because it makes her more comfortable hence the fries

She is so skinny and rlly it’s just encouraging me rn so yk she’s also like the best person every and my favorite gf any of my brothers have ever had

Went to a parade today and was going to take my dog on a walk but I was pretty busy today and didn’t have a ton of time since it gets dark at like 5 now

Guys I’m actually falling behind sm with school because all I’ve been focusing on is how I look and getting skinny before Christmas but once I’m skinny I focus on being an academic GENIUS again

#no eating #tw disordered eating #disordered eating thoughts #eating diary #ed not ed sheeran #ed not sheeren #eating #tw ana fast #ana dairy #my friend ana #ana trigger

[100dayproductivity]

91/100.

Grief Day 3.

The sun and the dog walk really helped my heavy heart yesterday. The dog park was busy, and there is really nothing like watching puppies play to make your heart smile. I also ran into an acquaintance in the park who recently lost their elderly parent and is deeply grieving also. A reminder that you are never alone when you are grieving, even though it feels like you are.

Yesterday I started to unpack my grief. I'm not only grieving the loss of my cat, but the loss of my eldest baby to adulthood. She is off to university in exactly seven days! There is more to unpack though. My other child is starting high school. The two of them are now so independent, they don't need me like they used to. Or at least, not in the same way. So I am also grieving the end of that stage of parenthood. That, together with the fact I just turned 50, is a lot to process. I miss when they were little, and I miss my younger self, and that is what is also making my heart feel heavy and sad. I need to allow myself the time and emotional space to process the fact that I'm probably closer to death than birth at this point. The thought is terrifying, frankly. Hence, the panic I have been feeling.

I have diligently been taking a half-pill of anxiety medication both morning and evening since Grief Day 1. I am still slightly feeling the side effects of having increased the dose, but I felt far less panicky today. I will stay on this dose at least until my eldest is settled at school and I have gotten used to her not being around. I don't know how long that will take. At least until her first visit home for a weekend or a holiday.

I am still writing out a running list of every little to-do that pops into my head. It has really helped me stay calm and moving forward through my grief.

I'm doing so well. I'm taking this opportunity to congratulate myself on having gotten through three days of grief. Good job, me!

#100 days of productivity #100dop #to do list #grief journal #dealing with grief #grief #grieving #loss of pet #parenting #empty nest