Last night I helped my 5 year old niece through an anxiety attack in the car. It was a full blown episode that had her screaming and crying. The cause was her 18 month old brother puking and, as someone who has a fear of puking, it completely set her off.
And when I was telling my mom about it, she said her gut reaction would have been to tell my niece “that’s enough!”
It made me realize that unless you have dealt with anxiety as an every day thing, you might not know how to help someone through an anxiety attack. Especially if it’s a kid.
Obviously kids throw fits all the time, but if the kid is cowering, expressing any sort of fear or saying they are scared, it is very likely it’s an anxiety attack.
So here are some tips for helping someone through an anxiety attack:
1. Don’t scream at them or tell them to calm down. It doesn’t help. It can actually make the attack worse.
2. Be encouraging. Remind them to take take deep breaths. Sometimes that can be enough, but sometimes they are so worked up that it can’t help the situation.
3. If possible, get them to walk around. Movement can sometimes help.
4. Distract them by suggesting ways to use their five senses, but especially sight and touch. Have them tap their fingers one at a time. Have them count cars or trees out the window. Just get their focus off the thing causing them anxiety. I’ve read in the past that if you can ground yourself in reality during an anxiety attack (which is mostly happening in your brain), it can help you through it.
5. Once they are able to communicate with you, ask them if there is anything you can get for them. A lot of us who deal with anxiety have developed coping mechanisms that can help us fully come down or at least steady ourselves from an anxiety attack. So they might have a song they wind down to, have headphones, have a texture keychain, etc. that they can’t get to but might help.
The goal to helping someone through an anxiety attack is to make them feel safe. Because a full blown anxiety attack is a scary, full body episode that can leave the person completely drained.
Once the anxiety attack has passed, some people might be ready to talk about what caused the attack (if they know) while others might not be. That’s ok.
However, if you are a parent/care giver of a child who had an anxiety attack, I encourage you to speak with the kid or take them to a professional to see if they need further assistance. And/or help them develop the coping skills to help them from getting that worked up in the future.
I really hope this helps someone. I’m glad I was with my niece last night and that I was able to help her calm down. In this specific situation, we started with finger tapping on the car door and then added counting trees out the window, then red cars. She went from hysterical to calm enough to give her mom a sassy response to something in less than 5 minutes.
38 notes
·
View notes
May I ask for Rain and Dew absolutely smothering Phantom because his anxiety is acting up really bad and the dp helps calm him down
I haven't just written something inside of tumblr without even opening a doc in a long time. Let's give it a go! 1100 ish words of Phantom having a meltdown, Rain and Dew being sweet. And maybe Dew having secret perv thoughts. Also everyone always puts cute or pretty gifs in their writing. Well I feel this one works.
"Where's Phantom?"
"I don't know, actually. Where is he?" Dew craned his neck from his seat on the edge of a folding chair, his eyes drifted away from the knot he was trying to pick out of his laces to Rain's face, creased with worry.
"I'm sure he's around? I mean, he can't have gone far." Words meant to self-soothe but they weren't doing a particularly good job. Rain's legs were already absentmindedly directing him toward the labyrinth of hallways.
"You wanna go look? I wanna go look."
Rain gave Dew a small smile, a silent thank you for taking his worries and making them his own. For not making Rain ask him to go searching for Phantom, for not making him feel like he was concerned about nothing.
For not making Rain explain again that he was worried about the new summon; that despite appearances and reassurances, Rain saw the raw skin beside his thumbnails, the bruised circles carved beneath his eyes, the food he pushed around his plate but never into his mouth.
All of them were nervous, Papa was nervous. It was their first ritual together, at least with this iteration of the band. One without the steadying presence of Aether, the calming comportment of Sunny.
Dew abandoned the knot in his laces and followed Rain out of the greenroom, leaving the various satellite groups of crew and ghoul alike to continue eating, talking, vibrating with excitement about kicking off the tour.
They weaved in and out of the hallway snaking to the rear of the building, still short one quintessence Ghoul and running out of hiding places.The clack of heeled boots finally revealed his location.
“Hey, what’re you doing back here?” Here being a darkened stairwell that led to the catwalks up above the stage.
Whether Phantom heard Dew’s voice or their approach, they weren’t sure. He didn’t react. He just kept up his pacing, 3 steps forward, 5 steps across, 3 steps back, 5 steps over, around and around and around.
Dew, watching him move in the small space felt his own head spinning with vertigo eventually and tore his eyes away to look at Rain, who stood frozen, his arm halfway extended, as if he were about to stop Phantom in his tracks.
“Hey bug, you’re gonna wear holes in your soles. Why don’t you slow down a little?” Phantom’s eyes flit up to Dew’s and then fell back on the toes of his shiny new boots. He did however finally stop moving.
Neither Dew nor Rain were really sure what to do. Neither had really made progress in getting to know the ghoul. What they saw during practice, a charismatic ghoul who was little bit goofy, but also full of joy, had yet to reveal itself in alternate scenary.
“Are you nervous? That’s okay. It’s normal. We all were, and we still are.” Rain took small steps toward him as he spoke, he half expected Phantom to arch his back and howl like a scared cat.
Phantom wanted to answer them, but he couldn’t escape the feeling that if he opened his mouth, all of his insides would come spewing out. Not the contents of his stomach, his lungs, his heart, his spine. He felt like his silence was the only thing keeping his body glued together. Even then he felt the bonds weakening when he looked up at the concerned ghouls in front of him.
“You don’t have to speak. Just - if there’s anything we can do, can you nod?”
Phantom considered whether he could do as Dew asked, whether communicating with him would cause everything to spiral out of control. Whether it would disturb the peace he’d made with that square meter of concrete in the back of the venue.
He nodded slowly, eyebrows quirking up in surprise that in fact, the ground beneath his feet had not shifted or crumbled.
“Good. Okay, do you want water?” No.
“Food?” No.
“Do you want anyone other than us?” No
“Do you want to go outside?” No.
Guilt began to tear at the threads of reality Phantom had clung to since finding the quiet space. Rain and Dew watched him wring his hands in consternation, subconsciously mimicking him, Dew twisted his fingers together, feeling like they were failing him.
“Do you want a hug?” Rain’s voice made them both jump a little.
Phantom nodded his head in affirmation and Rain felt the coil twisting in his chest loosen a little.
Neither had really touched the ghoul, and once again they approached him as they would a feral cat, all but sticking their hands under his nose for him to sniff. Not that they were afraid he would bite or claw, they were afraid he would run.
Rain reached out first, wrapping his arms around Phantom’s tense shoulders, loose, and hopefully non-threatening. Still he felt the ghoul tense under his touch.
Dew reached for his arm, a barely there pat to his bicep, and the ghoul visibly cringed.
“We’re sorry, you can change your mind. I don’t know - we can get Swiss, or Cirrus, or Papa.”
“No”, His voice came out as a croak, his throat dry and tight from his panic induced fugue.
“What can we do?”
“Just - you can touch me, but harder. I dunno why. When I feel - like this, those light touches make my skin crawl. I’m sorry - s’not your fault. I don’t - I don’t -”
“Ah.” Rain nodded. Dew was the same, whether he was upset, sad, anxious, he hated gentle, soft. He wanted heavy and solid.
“It’s okay, I’ll be okay.” Phantom mumbled, feet angling to resume the pattern he’d been wearing into the floor.
Instead, Rain grasped him firmly by the wrists and led him to the wall, pulling the ghoul into his lap and into a most crushing hug, reinforced by Dew, wrapping his arms around the other half of his body.
They both felt him sag and droop a little.
“Better?”
Phantom gave them a barely-there nod, as best he could manage with the limited range of movement. Even as compressed as he was, he felt like his lungs were finally able to take in a satisfying amount of air.
“Don’t worry, we have lots of time. Hours in fact.”
Phantom nodded against Rain’s shoulder, beginning to doze off. The two tails snaking around his torso and the rumbling purrs of their owners nudged him over the edge.
“Is he asleep?” Dew whispered.
“Yeah. He’s drooling on me. Reminds me of someone.”
“Shut up. - Hey, if he likes this maybe he’ll like that other thing you do.”
“One step at a time.”
As Phantom’s mind swam between the conscious and unconscious world, he wondered what the other thing was.
149 notes
·
View notes
Contentment
(1,485 words)
Evan has a nightmare during a sleepover with Gregory and accidentally wakes him up in the process. Gregory, of course, offers him comfort. Even if he is delirious from sleep and spouting nonsense.
Evan doesnt know what time it is when he gasps awake from his nightmare. Its sometime late, if the pitch blackness of the room and faint sounds of cicadas and crickets outside are any indication. Gregory is still sleeping soundly adjacent to him on his bed as he huffs for air, unfiltered fear gripping his lungs.
He props himself up on his air mattress, trying to calm his hammering heart as the fluffy throw blanket Gregory had given him to cover up with slides off of his shoulders. Flashes of the frankly offputting nightmare appear over his eyes in the dark, and he tries to rub them away with his clammy, shaking hands.
It's not the first time Evan's had nightmares like these. Far from it. Sometimes, he'll shoot awake in his room and think he sees shadows of what monstr of the week he'd dreamed about in the corners, and his stomach will be so on fire he'll be shaking intensely, unable to fall back asleep.
That's what's happening now. Allthough its frustrating how much his brain seems to hate him, Evan cant find it in him to be annoyed right now. He almost never can. The fear that he'd experienced in the dream has clung to him like a tick, and it makes his breaths shaky and harsh.
Sweat clings to his clothes, soaking theough and making his skin sticky. Albeit shakily, he moves off of the air mattress, too paranoid to stay on top of it lest he somehow gets the bed Gregory's family had generously donated to him dirty. He shifts near the middle of the side of Gregory's bed, sitting on his carpet and curling up as small as hes able.
He tries really hard to stay quiet for Gregory, but this is a particularly bad one. That feeling he always gets when he has a nightmare, and wakes up feeling off and disoriented is sticking with him. His heart thrums uncomfortably in his chest, and he clutches his knees he has pulled up to his chest, trying to will the anxiety away.
Despite how hard he tries, his eyes blow open when he let's out the smallest whimper, the terror and the dark getting too much. He holds his breath, staying completely silent for what feels like hours as he strains his ears for signs of Gregory waking up.
His heart has long since stopped when he risks a glance behind him. It's the exact same time Gregory stirs just enough to land a hand on his shoulder, and Evan startles hard, gasping harshly.
After he wills his heart to stop almost imploding, Evan breathes out, trying to calm down. Guilt curls in his stomach when Gregory raises his head from his pillow, eyes bleary and hair sticking up. His face is just visible over the edge of the bed, and Evan's only able to see his expression because of the moonlight shining through the blinds.
The hand squeezes a bit tighter, and then "Ev'n?"
Evan's brows furrow, the feeling of fear and guilt mixing together into an ugly poison in his gut. He shakes his head, trying to will the unease to fall away. This, undoubtedly, is worse than before.
"Its me." He replies, after a moment, soft as ever. He swallows thickly, before, "I-- I'm sorry I woke you up. Just go back to sleep, please. I-- I promise I'm okay. You don't need to worry about me."
Despite Evan's attempts, it seems even through Gregory's barely-awake state he can still call Evan's bluff. Evan watches Gregory's form under his blanket shift, rolling out of view from the edge of the bed to closer to the wall.
"No you're not." Gregory tells him, voice rough from sleep. His words slur in that way that tells you the person you're speaking to isnt fully aware. "I h'rd you. Just... if somethings wrong jus... come up here."
Evan's eyes widen, and panic grips his insides at that. "No, no!" Evan attempts, waving his hands even though Gregory probably cant even open his eyes enough to see him. "I dont need you to do that, I swear. I'm fine. You take your bed and I'll have mine."
Evan has calmed himself down from nightmares plenty of times before. Even if it did take almost an hour or more each time. He doesn't need Gregory to offer his own bed to him.
But Evan should know by now that Gregory wont allow him to suffer in silence. No matter how much he insists. So really, when Gregory flails a hand around and off of the bed, tugging at Evan's sleeve and mumbling things about 'Not leaving you to be scared', he shouldn't be suprised.
Still. When Evan eventually climbs into Gregory's bed and tucks himself under the thick comforter, the sheets coming pre-warmed, its almost like the unease and anxiety of his terrifying nightmare melts off a little. Especially since he can feel the almost personal heater-like warmth of Gregory's back pressed up against his side.
Gregorys bed is just a twin, so it takes some squeezing, but they both fit. Before, Evan would just have Fredbear to tuck under his arm when he inevitably had to try to fall back asleep in his own house. Never in a million years did he consider going to his Father or Michael for comfort. The idea of having a person to keep him company never crossed his mind.
When Evan has calmed down significantly since climbing in bed, he relaxes some more, finally feeling more fit to sleep as he says, "Thank you, Gregory." Evan shuts his eyes, body still faintly trembling but feeling more relaxed. "...I do feel better. A lot better."
Evan thinks Gregory may have nodded off already when he doesnt respond right away, but then he shifts slightly. "T'ld you." He mumbles. "...You gotta stop being scared of bothering me. I want you to feel better more than having m' bed I sleep in every day."
Evan chuckles slightly. "Night, you mean." But warmth overcomes the last bits of chill in his stomach when he smiles earnestly into one of Gregory's pillows, tugging the comforter above his chin. "And... I will. From now on. You just might have to knock some sense into me first."
"I will." Gregory replies. He's still awake somehow (if you describe this as being 'awake') despite being dead still against Evan, as unmoving as a boulder. Then, to Evan's amusement, he mumbles, "I gotta learn to knock sense into things somewhere. H'w'll I be able to join the... the laser force if I dont?"
It takes a moment for Evan to process it, but then he cant help the giggle he stifles into Gregory's comforter. "The laser force?" He prompts.
"Mhm. Theres... laser guns, and I have to track down three targets bef're theyll let me join."
As Evan's eyes grow more and more tired from how comfortable hes becoming tucked safely into Gregory's bed, Gregorys comforting presence at his shoulder, and warmth surrounding him and pulling him more and more under, he just smiles, cheek smashing into the plush of Gregory's pillow. "Heh. You can do it, Gregory. I believe in you."
"Mm. I'll st'll come visit you... even after I'm deployed." Is the last thing Gregory says before his words trail off and his body goes completely slack against Evan, signaling hes asleep.
Evan has one more round of quiet, silent laughter before his eyelids slip shut, as heavy as iron, and his body relaxed. He falls asleep himself, smile on his face and any remnants of terror from his nightmare wiped away.
Evan's last thought is how much more being in Gregory's bed, in his room, in his house, feels like home than his own room, where he could really never fully relax. Where the threats were real.
When they wake up that coming morning, any of Evan's previous unsettled feelings are completely absent, replaced with amusement and contentment when he peels his eyes open to sunlight peeking through the blinds and Gregory's face smushed into his pillow, drool stained into the case. Gregory wakes up to Evan's giggles, and after realizing what, or who hes laughing at, grabs one of his plush pillows molded like something and begins pelting Evan with it.
Naturally, Evan shrieks, throat dry in that way that only happens when you've slept good, and shields himself. When he throws the comforter off of himself, falling onto the air mattress and bouncing, he laughs even more.
Evan grabs his own pillow from what was supposed to have been his bed for the night, and strikes back, getting a few hits of his own in.
Gregory's room is filled with laughter that morning, between Evan and his best friend, and later, when he has time to reminisce on the night, he realizes he had gotten no more nightmares.
ao3 link
84 notes
·
View notes