#help your closest ones

[hiding-in-the-vault]

isnt this whole wilbur thing a huge warning sign against getting too attached to ccs, because we can never truly know them? why are we celebrating a few fans putting /150/ dollars + whatever the commission fee for the artist was into a birthday present for a guy who just.. doesnt know them? its not like merch or supporting a creator, its literally money in the wind. between this and merch dropping like clockwork but sapnap being the only one actually doing content (and hes clearly just doing it for the kick quota.. sorry but the streams are so lackluster), im getting really disillusioned with the dream team. theyre literally just coasted by because of a hyperdedicated fanbase they dont really seem to give a shit about. people talk about how amazing and kind they are but are they really? we dont know. why are we monetarily supporting millionaires its literally just charity but for rich people at this point, they dont provide any value in exchange. i think people should really consider why theyd rather drop ~180 dollars on a billboard for a rando instead of charity or buying something they want or need. sorry idk i just feel fed up with how much time and money and love i poured into these guys and in response were getting nothing. sapnap didnt even bother to denounce the abuser he used to interact with. i could have donated and actually helped someone instead of buying a fucking hoodie i cant even wear to school because id get bullied.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a little wake up call. They are just some guys that stream and make videos. You’d think the last few Situations™ would teach people to simply not put cc’s on pedestals and expect perfection from them. But you must realize that if you’re going to argue against people giving cc’s money, then you need to go all the way back to every single sub and donation they’ve gotten through twitch as well. It’s always been a luxury some choose to do because they get something out of it. They were never forced or tricked into doing it. And I don’t know how the Sapnap billboard was funded, but I donated to the George b-day billboard. Gave up $5 because I thought it was a fun community idea, and it did not impact my ability to donate or buy things I needed. It doesn’t need to be any more complicated than that. It’s not a streamer's fault that you chose to spend money on them instead of donating.

If you’re upset by the lack of content, then entertain yourself with something else. People have been saying that for ages. If you think their intention is to continue promising content and never delivering just to squeeze money out of fans, then leave. I personally don’t believe that.

Dream believes he does owe us content, but we don’t get to decide when it comes. And you don’t have to give them a dime for it.

#vault talks #discourse #sorry if im a little blunt. i dont usually get anons like this lol #and yeah school kids can be mean :( im glad i didnt have to worry about this when i was in high school #if it helps at all. i wear my blindingly neon green dream hoodie out sometimes and no one has cared in the adult world #but anyway. i dont like to entertain regret. one day they will fully retire and that wont take value from anything they made before that #even if youre unsatisfied right now dont let that effect the good times youve had prior #edit: forgot to add: in case anon still sees: #also let’s not pretend sap and wil were ever close lol #geor.ge was the closest to him out of the three and he hasn’t said anything either. and he doesn’t need to. it’s gotta be hard :/ #look at poor to.mmy #demanding responses is not the way

[emmafaeru]

this is absolutely one hundred percent an otherside picnic blog now btw

#otherside picnic #what if we were two girls and we had the closest relationship in the world 😳😳 #what if we were practical and thematical compliments to each other so that one could not work without the other #what if we went through unimaginable horrors and came out clutching onto each other as the last anchor in our world #WHAT IF I WAS TRAPPED IN INTERSTITIAL SPACE AND THE ONLY WAY I COULD GET BACK TO YOU WAS TO SEE THE EXTENT OF YOUR LOVE FOR ME #WHAT IF WERE LESBIANS DRIVING AN AP-1 HUH #what if our sanity was a toy we could play with like a cats cradle and you wove mine back up for me again #what if you accompanied me into fear itself and pulled me back out again #what if you picked out an outfit for me in the magoiya of all places and told me I looked cute in it #what if I was like ophelia in a field and you were a hand reaching down to me #what if the world itself was fraying at the seams and you held my hand and we stepped through #what then huh. what then. #what happens. what happens when we’re two girls in a world like no other and we’re accomplices #(the closest relationship in the world) #and we rely on each other and fight for each other and cry for each other #I have so many thoughts about otherside picnic #gay ass bitches #what if I was running from the things in my past and fell into a field through a door and you laughed and helped me up #what if we had a fight and i came running after you into death itself #what if we got drunk on a beach in the middle of the otherside and watched the ocean #what if. what if. what if.

[skillzissuez]

Depression is all fun and games until your skipping school even though you’re weeks behind because you quite literally can’t get out of bed

#god I hate it here #not to mention you mother and father #SEEING this #simply decides to ignore you like your Alr dead #like damn okay 💀💀 fuck you too ig 💀💀 #I don’t know how to fix this #I’m literally gonna be held back or taken to court bc I’ve missed so many days #but oh well the sillies r keeping me alive #Also I told myself I wouldn’t vent online anymore but I honestly don’t care anymore 😭 #it’s so bad though #I tried to do some of my homework last night and ended up throwing up from the stress #and it’s not like my friends just forgot about me they are GOOD friends I’ve just been pushing them away; telling them I’m just sick etc. #it’s my fault so I’m not mad at them for not knowing what to do. The closest ones try to call me #sometimes I answer and we talk. sometimes I don’t and they leave me a message abt how their a good listener and they KNOW something’s wrong. #Truly I love my friends but at this point I just need to be medicated or in a mental institution ong #but again; it’s not like my parents actually care. they canceled my therapy that was court appointed to me #My support system otherwise is gone; my older siblings have moved out and I’m supposed to protect my younger ones from my parents #but deadass my entire family is well aware that I’m useless in that department #I shake scream and sob everytime my parents yell at us so I’m no help; really #I mean recently I’ve been able to keep my emotions under control but the only reason why is because I’m dead inside 💪 #As I’m typing this out I’m realizing that I should be telling the world this especially not in my mental state but like. I dunno 🤷‍♂️ #I know most of you don’t care or if you do your just concerned or feel bad bc you know what it’s like and I thank you. #seriously; I thank you for being human and reminding me the world can be kind #if anything im just distracting myself from whatever this is. whether it be playing a silly game or drawing about said silly game it helps #but it also makes me feel guilty bc I RLLY should be focused on trying to pass this year. but I’m pretty sure it’s too late now. #anyways; that’s why I’ve been inactive lately so I apologize #it’s funny bc I’m typing this out but I rlly don’t feel anything while explaining this to you guys #I’ll tag this properly; I don’t know why I’m posting this and I might delete it later I dunno #tw vent #tw mention of abuse

[kelpiemomma]

work brainworms activated

Still rolling why Akari might've been yoinked in my head (mistaken for Dawn? From a wealthy family they ran away from? Clones of former hisuians that escaped and are wanted? Upset a stalker on the subway?) but Rei was with her when it happened since they live together. Akari manages to get Rei to escape with their pikachus (they both have pikachus. Twin pikachus? Maybe.) but gets grabbed as a result. Rei is obviously a wreck and tries to chase after whoever took his twin, but they vanish like dust in the wind and he's left standing in the middle of the street with two upset, sparking mice. He manages to eventually get to the authorities to report her abduction and their home turns into a crime scene. He has to stay at a hotel and he's so dumbstruck by the night that he passes out.

Neither of the younger twins show up in the morning which throws the whole gear station groove off. They've called out sick before, sometimes one and sometimes both, and they've run late, but they've never just not shown up. And never neither of them completely ghosting the station. Everybody is concerned, especially when their phones can't be reached, so someone from the station cuts early to go check on them. And then they call Ingo or Emmet frantic bc the twins' home is a crime scene??? What if they're dead???

Emmet starts blowin up Akari and reis phones while he and Ingo run out bc holy shit the babies??? The kids??? The CRIME SCENE??? They're nearly at the listed residence when Rei picks up, groggy as fuck and voice hoarse. Emmet starts demanding to know what happened and Rei just breaks down into tears, explaining that the home had been broken into the day before and Akari had been taken, had pushed him out of the way so he'd escaped. He's practically hysterical as he goes over it again until Emmet promises that they'll come pick him up and he can stay with him or ingo so he's not alone. Ingo sends a message to the group chat that Akari's been kidnapped and everyone is demanding to know WHAT THE FUCK??? WHAT THE FUCK!!!

Rei gets picked up by the twins and it's weird for all involved that there is one set of twins and not the other. There's a weird empty space by Rei's side even though both shoulders hold a Pikachu. Ingo & Emmet silently guide him out, they go and pick up some of his stuff (clothes, cause he's still in his PJs, tooth brush & tooth paste, etc) and they go to the apartment where Ingo and Emmet live. They don't technically live Together, but their rooms are right next door to each other with a connecting door. They are, after all, Grown Ass Adults who need their own space as much as they're a set. Ingo is the only one with a spare room so Rei settles his stuff there, and then he crashes again while the twins try to figure out what they're going to do (bc like hell are they going to let this go unchecked and let the authorities handle it on their own??? Fuck no, that's their family, their employee, their kid. They're gonna get her back.)

#PLA Rei #PLA Akari #subway boss ingo #subway boss emmet #Gear station #Gear station family au #Akari and Rei don't normally battle (they're too young per station guidelines & not quite competitive enough #If they're not competing against each other)(and yes Emmet is trying to convince Ingo to make a new track #For a new type of battle) so they mostly just work in the station itself #Guiding passengers to the right train or helping with tickets #Melli gets lost inside the station a lot (no one really understands how or if it's intentional or not) so Akari and Rei #Are the ones who typically track him down. (He's also their cousin but none of them say it out loud) #Bc of their history Akari and Rei DO spend all their time in each other's pockets so when Rei comes in to work on his own #Looking uncomfortable and a little scared (not worried or tiredly bemused like he does when Akari is sick) even the usual commuters #Are Concerned. #And that concern turns to sympathy and pity when the news finally breaks that this teenager has been abducted #If you have seen her or have any information please contact your closest officer jenny

[katierosefun]

just got emotional thinking about what hjw might've had to go through in the year away from manyang, he was probably pestered by medias, having to deal with the trials and all the talks and whispers behind his back or even straight at his face. If i got the context right betraying his father was abig deal, yes many would praise him but many would shame him for being disrespectful and not filial. I'm sure hkh had big supporters in the force, corrupted people that wanted influence, power and wealth, they probably got mad at hjw for cutting short their connection and the future career advancement. All this might have reminded hjw how his life was before everything happened (my god something like "good things aren't bound to last") but after the time spent in manyang he changed, he got to experience love and closure, a found family and going back to his old habits might have felt so alienating now? he'd realize how cold and lonely that life was and struggling all the more due to it. I'm so glad he managed to fight his anxiety and fear and return to manyang + I'm fairly sure that once he saw that the people there still love him and welcomed him with open harms, he'd go back to stay. sorry if i wrote a lot but i wanted to share my feelings with someone who could understand and loves hjw too❤️

yeah, i was always incredibly fascinated by what might have happened in that year han joo won was away, and why i also just. think that han joo won probably really couldn't show his face not just because he probably felt a lot of shame, but also like. i dunno. my personal thought is that he was a fuckign mess for a little bit--like, the man you're in love with is also the man that you arrested, and the little community of people who cared about you can't possibly still love you now, not when you're the reason why their favorite person is going to go away . . .

and i feel like there definitely were a lot of people who probably looked askance at joo won to be like "how could you do that to your own father" or maybe other people who tried to swoop in and promote joo won for the sake of saving face, and i like to think that joo won was just like. blank-faced through it all. and just like, the thought of him running away from seoul and trying to go to a place where no one knows him is. yeah.

and also, i forget who might have said it, but there's also some speculation about whether joo won's the one turning down promotions or maybe joo won just never gets a promotion because maybe his name's also lowkey blacklisted since everything that happened with his dad. i like to think that it's joo won who keeps turning down promotions--maybe he's terrified that he'll ever really turn into his dad, because i don't think he ever will, but i do think that a small part of joo won will always still think about what greed and power can do to people, and he probably doesn't want even the littlest taste of that. (granted. han ki hwan was always a bad person, i think--you don't clamber up to the top with that kind of attitude unless there's already something broken inside of you, but i think. joo won would still. try to run from it.)

(especially since like. i think a lot about joo won hearing han ki hwan's conversation, what with han ki hwan being like "oh, joo won wants to think he's like me, but he's actually more like his mom", and seeing the fury but also the genuine pain on joo won's face because. yeah. as much as joo won scoffed at the mention of his dad even in the beginning, i think. it's the curse of certain children--the only child, the eldest child--to be like the father, especially when the mother is deemed weak or just out of the picture. little boys and little girls want to be the behemoth of a man that their father is; they want to be cold, logical, infallible. and i think as much as joo won hated talking about his dad, i look at how, esp. in the beginning of the show, he tried so hard to project that kind of attitude, with the whole "i don't need friends / i don't trust anyone / you have to be logical" when we so clearly see. how lonely he is and how he. still trembles a little bit when his dad yells at him and how he peers in through the windows of the shop like he's an alien. or maybe a very curious, kind of timid cat.)

so all that to say: yeah, i feel you anon. i love han joo won so much, and i love how beyond evil is just as much a story about joo won learning to fall into this beautiful (but slightly broken) community, and how i think. he must have healed along the way :'))

#answered #anon #beyond evil #i just!!! han joo won . . .. is so . .. . i love him so much #and i just. yeah. #something about how in the script book #han joo won had never seen his dad but when he graduates to the top of police university #his dad claps for him and joo won just thinks 'is that all it took.' #and joo won thinking that was funny but also in an awful way #i could write circles and circles around joo won's relationship with his dad #something about 'i hate you' 'i want to be like you' 'i will never forgive you' 'i talk to people the way you do now' #'you are the reason why i don't have a home' 'i still hated it when you pretended not to know me' #'i can't ever ask you for help' 'i am begging you to just tell me the truth let me help you' 'you are the devil himself' #'please. redeem yourself for ONCE' 'i hope you die i hope you die i hope you die' 'i will shoot you in my childhood house' #'i will still ask to be updated on the rest of your life' 'i hate you. i hate you' #'i don't love you but i also feel responsible for you somehow and is that the closest we'll get to familial love? is it?' #or whatever whatever whatever!!! #something about how han joo won's relationship with his dad. is probably the realest one to me out of all the kdrama family relationships #with objectively awful fathers #something about fathers who are awful and absent and greedy and yet #the child still. still desperately wants something even if they hate their father. like. #everyone hush i know this because han joo won rants to me when he's sad

[bluejaybytes]

@snowshinobi Hiiiii :3 I'm responding to your tags on a new post and not the original since the original was already somewhat lengthy, and I plan on being LONG and RAMBLY, but I have sooo many thoughts on what you said and I'm going to say them. Also my browser crashed TWICE (TWO TIMES. 2) when trying to write this post so I'm really fighting for my life out here to get my silly little OC posts done. Also it's under the cut because it's looooong as hell LMAO

Firstly, you're so nice to me forever <3 Secondly, I think you've basically hit the nail on the head. The majority of the issues Maggie has coming back from death and her 9 years gone are really tied almost exclusively to her close family, because she... never really had anyone else. While in-universe it's only 9 years, realistically the jump in technology and culture is around ~20-30 years (Maggie died in the 90s/early 2000s essentially, and wakes up in a just barely futuristic city), but... the most jarring thing to her in terms of what she missed out on is just. Flipphones are no longer popular. Other than her family, she's only close with one other person... who just so happens to be a ghost, and therefore both 1. Wouldn't change much over the timespan due to how long she's been a ghost and 2. Unlike her family, was aware that something happened, since she could see the ghost-of-a-ghost Maggie left behind (The ghosts name is Opal, she positions herself as a sort of "guardian angel" figure, though she's not actually, and serves as just another parental figure for Maggie while also getting after the ghosts that constantly harass her to pass on messages to the living). Maggie has no real relationships outside of her family, and while her relationships with her family are massively impacted by her unknowing death, other than that... the timeskip itself doesn't weigh on her because she had no one regardless. Her struggle to adjust to everything thats happened would've happened regardless of the timeskip for her, because she was such an isolated shut-in that it's the same whether it happened the next day, or nearly a full decade later

So another very interesting thing is that you've actually completely seen where I was going with everything, in spite of everything I said being very surface level and not actually delving into the plot at all. I completely skimmed over Jenna (She's very important to the plot, but she's by in large a regular person as opposed to Maggie's... everything), but for some additional context, Jenna has a horrendously shitty homelife, so her moving in with Maggie is both a gradual process (It goes from spending time there, to spending nights, to eventually just never going back home and moving in fully), and also serves as an escape for her. Part of that is also, so vitally, the food aspect. For some additional additional context, souls essentially serve as a persons lifeforce, practically every bodily function is improved by a soul that's stronger, though the "strength" of a soul is essentially entirely random, and not dependent on the individuals actions of any kind. Maggie had a generally weird soul before (Seeing ghosts inherently means she has to have something going on with her soul), but when she wakes up after her death, her soul is now even weirder, and part of that is that it essentially lets her get away with bad habits she absolutely should be seeing more consequences for. She barely eats, and when she does, it's basically exclusively crackers and whatever other safe foods she has around the house, because actually making food is a level of care and effort she just... doesn't give to herself in the slightest. Part of Jenna staying with her is that Jenna, without really discussing it, entirely takes up the mantle of caretaker of the apartment, with the biggest task being food prep, Jenna sees Maggie's unwillingness to take care of herself and silently steps up and starts making her actual meals so she's eating properly.

The problem is is that this also kinda... just straight up sucks? Jenna doesn't think much of it, it's something that needed to be done so she's doing it, she wants Maggie to be well fed even if she won't do it herself, and she's already been responsible for making all of her own meals for years prior anyways, so it's just another thing she does. Except that's shitty! Maggie's seen firsthand how terrible her homelife is, and it really weighs on her how even in her escape from that, Jenna's still being put in a position where she feels like she must care for her or else she just won't eat properly. So food is such a massively important thing to both of them, it's this symbol of love for both of them, it's love on the part of Jenna, for stepping in and taking care of Maggie when she can't do it herself, and it's love on the part of Maggie, for realizing how her own bad habits impact the people she cares about and wanting to lift that weight by taking care of herself better. It's also very vital for Maggie because she just... doesn't... have hobbies. Learning how to cook becomes really her only hobby and she puts all of her love and care into it, because for the first time in a long while she's actually passionate about something! ...Unfortunately she also is very very bad at it. She's inventing new dishes like "Burnt Salad" and "Please Help I Fucked Up Kraft Mac N Cheese" and still having to have Jenna come in and help her. But it's the thought that counts, and it'll only be a matter of time before she can make something vaguely edible.

And finally, the stuff about names! I didn't post it here, but while idly talking about her in a Discord server I'm in, I definitely think that had I made Maggie like even a few months later than I would've done she would've been nonbinary. As it stands right now though, I'm saying she's probably some form of genderweird but too busy trying not to die to think about it <3 Growing up knowing that ghosts are real and routinely being shut down by authority figures in her life about it has made her very aware of how bullshit a lot of things are and how the people who claim to be knowledgeable tend to not know what they're talking about (Beyond just the "people don't think ghosts are real", she's also got ghosts willing to tell her when people are lying because they've got nothing better to do than just gossip) , so if she spent even just a moment thinking about gender as a social construct she'd instantly recognize that and probably take up some form of genderweird label, but as it stands she's just too stressed with Being The Protagonist to think about that

Now, the thing with Margaret. I'm not even going to lie to you, I think you made a better connection to how a name connects with community in terms of the narrative themes than I did. The thing with Margaret denying the name "Maggie" existed for two reasons, the in-universe explanation is that, with the little scrap of soul Margaret has leftover from Maggie, it's essentially working overtime just to keep her vitals working, it can't dedicate time and energy to making her an individual with preferences and a personality, so part of that is that she doesn't respond to "Maggie" because ultimately, that is not her name. Her name is Margaret and she's not going to respond to "Maggie" because "Maggie" isn't her name. Of course, out of universe the reasoning is that I wanted an easy way to distinguish between Maggie as she is the protagonist, and the version of her that lived in the years she was gone, so different names makes the most sense.

I think your connection to how name relates to community genuinely works on a level I hadn't fully pieced together myself yet and I really love that because I think that absolutely works with everything. One of the main conflicts of the plot is how Maggie is entirely disconnected from her family thanks to the years she was gone, with Margaret having no priorities beyond "survive", she basically never spoke with her parents or brother for years. While her family tried to reach out to her repeatedly (Especially given that, while they're unaware the truth of what happened the night Maggie was murdered, they do know something happened, and they believe that whatever it was severely traumatized her, and that's where the sudden and drastic shift in personality came from), there's a point where they just... gave up. She wasn't trying to talk with them or contact them in the slightest, so around a year or two after Margaret moved out, her parents gave up on her. Her brother would still be there a bit, but he also didn't really... try... anymore.

When Maggie wakes up, she tries to call her parents... and they don't pick up. They'd grown resentful over the years, and now that Maggie wants to talk to them, they don't forgive her for the years of not speaking to them, and aren't interested in whatever she has to say after nearly a decade of trying to reconnect with her and being met with nothing. It's her insistence that she wants to be called Maggie that actually gets her brother to realize she's telling the truth and that something happened. She shows up at his door, already something that Margaret wouldn't have done, and that combined with her being visibly upset when he calls her Margaret and tells him that's not her and that she's Maggie, it signals to him that whatever's going on is real (...though he would've figured this out eventually, given that she also literally 17 again and not in her mid-20s, and has a giant glowing stab wound in her chest). I think it works absolutely perfectly as being a symbol of community, her disconnect from her community is what led to her being called Margaret, and her desperation to be returned to that community is when she's Maggie again. So uh. Congrats on getting the themes of my OCs better than I did <3

And uhhhh closing thoughts! I honestly did still skim over the majority of the plot (Literally never even mentioned Eli or what's going on with her stab wound </3), but I think you reeeeally hit the nail on the head with everything I'm kinda getting at with these OCs, which is... frankly wild given how little main plot I actually got at. Basically everything I mentioned in my original post was the setup, not the main plot. But waaaaugh thank you for being so niceys to me and also giving me another excuse to ramble endlessly <3

#my OCs #uhhh MAGGIE FUN FACTS: #Animals can tell when a soul is weird so she has a colony of stray cats that hang around her apartment door #she doesnt even LIKE animals that much (She barely takes care of HERSELF shes not taking care of any animals.) #but they all like her weirdass soul and keep hanging around because of it #When the plot ends she gives one of the stray cats to her parents as a 'sorry i died' gift #The cats name is Marge- named by Jenna and also specifically its 'Marge' said in a Simpsons impression. any Simpson #It's Jennas FAVORITE cat out of the strays bc she says she looks like Maggie. also Marge is a male cat #Neither Jenna nor Maggie know how to tell the difference between a male and female cat reliably so they assume Marge is female- hes not #Also Eli's the closest to the 'main antagonist' the story gets. hes an old coworker of Margarets and basically her only friend #and Maggie's too scared with her whole 'is actively dying' thing and doesnt know how to tell him 'hey im not your friend- she died' #ELI thinks that Margaret is essentially have some sort of extreme mental breakdown and is trying to get her help bc he cares about her- #-unaware that Maggie is essentially a different person and doesnt know him #anyways uhhhh Maggie attempts to beat him to death with her laptop once. sorry Eli. luckily shes 17 and scrawny as fuck- #-so he's able to throw her off of him but its still. BAD #Maggie's got INSANE insomnia for a large variety of reasons- and falls asleep on the floor one night while on her laptop #Eli- having gotten off work late and going to check on Margaret- who hasnt shown up to work in weeks and isnt answering her phone #-spots Maggie passed out on the floor and assumes shes having some sort of medical emergency #Margaret had left her spare keys at work which he'd grabbed- so he lets himself in to get her to a hospital #Only for Maggie to wake up. With a strange man in her apartment in the middle of the night. Wuh Oh ! #THIS time however- when she's home alone (shes not alone Jenna's asleep in the other room) and she spots a stranger in her house- #-she ends up with a fight reaction and NOT freeze <3 #also her full name is Margaret Elisabeth Newell and her brothers name is Hawke #one of the very few times i will give my OC a full name- and entirely bc my friend suggested her last name LMAO #also she believes in bigfoot. GHOSTS are real and theyre WAY less believable than 'big ape' so she fully believes it #Opal keeps trying to tell her no that ones ACTUALLY not real and shes like uh huh. sure. ill believe it when i see it

[bumblingbabooshka]

A Star Trek Novel called “Pocket Full of Lies” really has NO business going so hard.

#IMPORTANT NOTE: I only read Star Trek Novels as they pertain to Tuvok #so I have no idea about how the novel reads overall #but the Tuvok storyline????? Damn. DAMN dude. #what if you were suffering from a loss that affected and changed you so deeply that even those closest to you no longer recognized you? #and that change is symbolized and mirrored through this alternate reality version of your best friend who in YOUR universe also no longer #understands you...could never understand you...but THIS version of her is familiar. You can share each other's pain. You understand one #another in a way no one else does. And what if your inner grief/turmoil #was symbolized again in this alternate timeline by a constant war that's been raging f #for thousands of years with no end in sight no matter how hard you fight. The fighting in the end means nothing. The violence means nothing. #The death means nothing bc when you die another will take its place. #'His death was meaningless like this is meaningless' you think initially only to find that NO! It's the holding on to the PAIN that's #meaningless. It's the SUFFERING that's meaningless. #Tuvok being sent to convince ALT Janeway to give herself up to Starfleet but being unable to do so because he sympathizes and empathizes #with her...because (on another level) she isn't ready to give up the war (the suffering grief) and neither is he because to them the war #and the pain has BECOME the people they're grieving (Elieth & Daughter) so to give up feeling pain is to give up feeling love #but that isn't TRUE!!! and we see that in how Tuvok actually rebukes the affections and concerns of those attempting to reach out to him #and offer love...in reality this 'protection' or 'vigilance' is unhealthy and closes them off from healing and love. Bad coping mechanism. #Initially Tuvok pushes away everyone he comes across but through helping Janeway he helps himself and is finally able to take steps towards #acceptance in the purging of his anger on Dayne (Alt Janeway's husband who willfully allowed her daughter to die) #and we can see this in his outlook on how to move forward. In the beginning he's like 'I will never heal from this and I'll just live the #rest of my life never feeling safe or at peace.' <- defining and living his life according to the pain he's suffered #but in the end he has a more hopeful outlook...he sees that there are people around who want to be there for him and that he wants to lean #on...maybe forgiveness doesn't mean literally forgiving those who caused you to suffer but instead finally letting go of that suffering #and living according to joy...friendship..two hands clasped together. love. #novel experiences #Tuvok #Janeway #st voyager #oh ALSO the fact that Janeway always manages to survive being turned from a good thing to a very bittersweet thing for Tuvok bc his own #son was not so lucky...-chefs kiss-

[pumpking64]

.

#Jesus fucking Christ #why do some people just. not see the mess they’re making and acknowledge that it’s their responsibility to clean up after themselves?? #like. you throw your shoes in the entrance exactly where people walk. you let shared loafers stand outside for several hours #you cook the most simple dinner that one time you cook (mind you the other people have equal shares of making food) #and yet you don’t even manage to clean up after neither the cooking NOR taking the food off the table into the fridge so it doesn’t turn bad #you keep on taking the most easy solution that fits you the best without thinking about others. in a space where we all are exhausted #and I’m so done with it for now tbh. how lazy to not care about the bare necessities for others. how rude to admit to it #AND on top of this. you’ll tell stuff about your country that’s *objectively horrifying* and then add on to that that you love your country #it’s just. so many things. are so so so much of what I’d avoid in a person. a few things is fine. no one’s perfect. but damn there’s a limit #SORRY to anyone who’s read this far but I just. had to get it out #this guy is the one I’m working the closest with these two and a half weeks. hes still a kid kind of. I’m not gonna be mean to him #but damn. my patience. is being tested #AHHH I might delete this tbh. I don’t like showing this side of myself. I don’t want to spread this kind of negativity #I’m just so very frustrated. how a human person can come to this place and be here for SO LONG already #and still not have learnt the basics of living and working together #own post #oh. and all the triggering of intrusive thoughts is not helping your case buddy #(which you can’t really know about so it’s kinda fair but also it’s for bad hygiene stuff mostly and that’s. I mean…..)

[toastsnaffler]

heard it was butch appreciation day 2day so im posting arm pics on here + no one can stop me >:-)

#no face bc im shy sorry... #i havent been working out for like a month + a half bc of moving/family stuff so only just getting back into it now #thankfully i still have some arm left.... im hyped tho im gonna start a new cg series + hit the boulder gym a ton more #had to order more protein powder bc im almost out and damn that shit expensive. my main motivation to get a job fr.. #and ive finally quit vegetarianism so hopefully thatll help me put on more weight too.. can't wait to be built like a tank. someday #anyway im still figuring out how my gender relates to my dykery but butch is one of the things i feel closest to rn #v grateful for the community + how seen it makes me feel. butch mutuals ily i hope youre having a kickass day <3 #.diaries

[roombagreyjoy]

I think I’m going crazy because I got to thinking about how during the pandemic we literally had people teaching us how to wash our fucking hands (like celebrities doing TikTok videos washing their hands wtf) because apparently some people didn’t know how to fucking wash their hands and it got me remembering about how you’re literally taught how to wash your hands as a kid like even in elementary school and preschool. They would even show you videos like there would actually be children TV shows about taking care of yourself and they would have this silly little song about washing your hands and brushing your teeth and I asked the venerable Three Year Old whether they had TV shows that taught them to brush their teeth and wash their hands and she said she didn’t know… which is like ok fair enough because you are literally only three years of age and you don’t really have object permanence or anything (not true btw) but I genuinely cannot remember if they teach stuff like this in Bluey or whatever the fuck. Do they teach this stuff in Spongebob I can’t remember. I’m going insane.

#holy shit THAT is a rant alright #HELP?! ARE THERE CHILDREN CARTOONS NOW ABOUT WASHING YOUR HANDS AND EATING VEGETABLES I NEED TO KNOW #as you can see we have VERY important and intellectual conversations on our way to school #i have mondays off for a while so it is My Job to accompany the Venerable Three Year Old to school in the morning and pick her up nowadays #she now wishes to be called Princess Sparkle Explosion which i am very happy about (pse for short) #bluey is the one show i know about that is the closest i can think of that teaches like family stuff and self care or whatever idk #i don’t really watch tv with the kid i don’t see her so much i’m not her parent idk #we mostly play with dinosaurs #personal

[stars-in-our-skies]

h8 it when ppl say "um thats not a symptom of this disorder" and it's like. Something that has a lot of fucking overlap with other disorders

#like with the whole 'mania isnt a bpd symptom' thing #there is so much wrong with that statement #first off. bro. you do understand that sometimes the dsm is Wrong right #and even so that sometimes disorders have a lot of overlap with each other #and at the end of the day diagnosises are used for the purpose of treatment #it's like. symptoms are a thing all on their own and THEN youre given a diagnosis based on what ur closest match is #and sometimes there is overlap bc not everyone is going to perfectly fit a diagnosis #am i wrong? is that not how it's supposed to work? #i would imagine if it was the other way around (diagnosis and THEN adressing symptoms) that things (treatment) would be worse #it's why things like adhd and autism overlap a lot lol #because theyre both sensory processing disorders. and spd is a thing on its own too! #so what im saying is that if youre mentally ill. they tend to come as a package deal. #and even if you only have *one*-- #--theres a good chance you have other symptoms that arent 'technically' a part of ur dx #you should be addressing the symptoms and not the disorder itself. #esp when it comes to stuff like autism or adhd or anything else youre born with #us mentally ill people have a lot more in common than you think! #u might not think it bc we've been told that we're all 'different' kinds of fucked up but thats Not True. it overlaps! #and the classifications of things like dissociative disorders vs personality disorders #is more or less to help doctors find out whats wrong with you #than it is to say that you CANT EVER experience stuff outside of that #etc etc anyway. Yall are gonna give me a stroke w ur misunderstanding of mental health #my posts #ok that was a rant. Leave me alone

[dandyshucks]

if I try to mess with the eyes on the first one anymore I'm going to lose my mind DBDNDML so here have some self insert art,,,, also the houndoom was largely copied from someone else's art (dvixie/SkyVixie on deviantart, the art seems to have been taken down from their gallery though, I just found the art on pinterest and then had to track down the artist fjfkdl idk why ppl repost art with no credit 😭), I was trying to just get a feel for drawing them so I figured (HEAVILY) referencing someone else's piece would be alright for this sort of personal art thing!!

#aaaand I'll turn off rbs too djdksl i dont want to take any credit for that houndoom #i changed a couple minor things but dbfkdl it rly is just me looking at that other person's art and trying to draw it myself #it was good for getting a feel for how to draw them though!!! this was before the other art featuring houndoom i did a while ago #so i think it helped a lot to be able to draw houndoom again on my own this time fjfkdjdl #gave me a feel for placement and anatomy and whatnot #i know copying is largely considered to be Bad in the art community but if u do it the right way i think it can be beneficial to ur art #u just have to be careful and not claim credit for it fjdkl like... idk be smart and respectful #i think this is the first time I've ever done smth like this actually SNDKSL #the closest i get to copying is using free-to-use pose bases occasionally and even then i sometimes clarify in the tags that im using one #every day i fear someone will walk up and show all the drawings I've used free-to-use pose bases for #and be like AHA. I'VE FOUND YOU OUT. YOU'RE A FAKE ARTIST!!!! #and its like... no... i just like using free-to-use pose bases sometimes DBDJDKL #takes out the work of figuring out posing sometimes when im tired of coming up w my own fjfkdl #ANYWAYS. RAMBLE OVER SORRY SNDJFKDL #moral of the story: if u copy art just do it in a respectful and clear way and don't take credit for it when its not yours sbdjdksl #okay im going to skedaddle off this post before i stick my foot in my mouth if i havent already djdkdls WAUGH i am afraid of posting this #but i want to share self insert stuff somewhere sjfjdkl and i like the human posing i did on the second one so... SIGH. #dandy.cmd #doodlebug.png #junebug 🪲

[machinatings]

Really did not think I had super strong takes on Star Wars anymore but I do feel so strongly that the inquisitors makes the general world building Worse. Part of why the empire was so effective in (almost) completely wiping out the jedi in only 20 years wasnt just that they killed them all, it’s that they killed the idea that using the force was even strictly possible. In the OT the word “sith” is never even used- people barely understand the nature of the force, let alone enough to distinguish between a jedi and a sith. By the time of ANH, the idea of being a force user, any kind, should feel desperately lonely, a product of a bygone era. It makes Palpatine, as one of the only people still alive that understands the force, that much more powerful. The idea that he would go out of his way to train a bunch of people in the darkside really undermines that in my opinion.

#star wars #there being very few force users also makes vader way more interesting to me #HES the reason there all dead. he didn’t become a sith because he believed in the ethos of it. hell he became a jedi not primarily for their #beliefs but because he thought it would help him make the galaxy a better place. there’s always been another goal first and foremost #YET as vader he has no further ambitions beyond serving palpatine. so he clings to an archaic relgion and strangles anyone who #roles their eyes #he destroyed the jedi he’s their opposite he’s everything a jedi is not. in any given room he’s the closest thing they have to remembrance #its like imagine the guy who destroyed your culture being one of the only scraps of proof that it existed in the first place #would that be fucked up or what #ti talks #darth vader #anakin skywalker #sheev palpatine

[firefly-fez]

look i’m not saying morgana was justified, okay. i’m not saying i condone murder, okay. i’m just saying she was 100% valid in everything she ever said or did and i would have made exactly all of the same choices myself. okay?

#bbc merlin #morgana #morgana pendragon #look if i grew up hating myself under an abusive father because he’s persecuting my kind #and the two people who knew exactly what i was going through and why gaslit me instead of helping #and one of my closest friends let me sit in misery all alone when he could have extended compassion #and told me we were going through the same thing #but instead he shut me out #left me in a position where i was afraid and vulnerable to anyone who could take advantage of me #by telling me the words i needed to hear #and then when i fell for the trap terrified of a mistake i couldnt take back #he cast me out and killed me for it #or at least he tried to #…..yeah i would have become evil too. #like 100% #she had a legit claim to the throne #and its not like trying to overthrow a king who persecutes your ppl is like. THAT immoral. is she consumed by vengance? yes. #but you could legit rewrite the whole story from morganas perspective and portray her as a hero and arthur as a villain. #without changing a thing in the plot. #*sigh* …… forever obssessed with the implications of what women are villified FOR #morgana deserved a monologue where she gets to go OFF at merlin tbh #morgana deserved a redemption arc

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

capitalism is a scourge which has manifested itself in those giant reflective office buildings that kill masses of birds every migration season

#if u want to help birds this migration season: turn off all your lights at night #im still upset that i found so many birds today. i mean it’s a known heavy hitter building on our route but damn it #y’all can reblog this post if u want im just being an angry bird person #it’s just. i deal with the birds that don’t make it bc im on my local project safe flight team. and because the rehab i work at is usually #the closest songbird rehab it means we then deal with the ones who do survive #it’s just kinda heartbreaking sometimes #vent tw