#help i feel like ive put myself too out there now

[donnyclaws]

I was gonan make a post apologizing for lack of regular art but I feel like jts already clear im sporadic and in and out of it bc chronic pain and circumstances. So for now I'm gonna hibernate, get my health steady again, deal with money issues, and art will happen when it happens.

#i do feel kind of worn down by it. i wish patreon and commissions didn't feel so taxing even with accommodations ive made for myself #maybe it'll feel better in the future when less is going on but rn it #places this barrier of management in front of art that makes it less relieving to do #cause there's always a part of my brain reminding me it needs to serve a purpose and needs to pay off in some way #which isn’t a new feeling for artists obviously. maybe doing it all since hs js also why it's tiring. and patreon changjng the way it does #working part time now too. idk if maybe id like to step back from it #it's abnormal that i worked taht hard and it did help me get out from my parents and stay out. but im also tired ect #idw let people down by not being able to keep up with a self imposed expectation or #be irresponsible and remove sources of income for myself. redbubble inprnt and patreon all suck in ways that bother me hugely #i only really enjoy itch.io at the minute #not to say anything bad abt patrons or commission clients you've all been excessively kind and patient and understanding always #i wish i could make them better i feel like there's no way how it is at the minute is of value compared to my output as an older teen #but yknow. self imposed worry. im just worn out and id like to just make things without the management and the fretting and the #i havent made a comic post for patreon in ages or this or this i havent made a speedpaint or a song or #yadda yadda lmao #sorry for the impromptu ramble #this isnt to say id never do commissions or a store or anything again or i want to not make money off art #god knows i will need to be grinding out comms once im well again but ex #i feel like im getting less and less able to manage it and then putting out less and less #and hoping ill somehow get very healthy and active again one day and make it worth the wait yknow. #it's not a feeling i want my art to carry in me. #part of me and the parent in my brain is saying it'd be selfish to give up income but the rest is like #that's cruel. i want to feel good and healthy

[sillybouquetoflillies]

i keep thinking i rly didnt go thru that much growing up, but idk, everytime i tell someone abt my life, they say i did and kinda just like sit in shock abt it. am i just internet brained or smth, or am i just dramatic?? i rly dont think ive earned a lot of the symtoms of someone who was traumatized that i have. or maybe i havent been in a safe place for long enough to process things??? i dunno. maybe someday far away in the future ill figure things out

#i let myself sit n accept that i did go thru smth.. maybe that i didnt totally remember or that i blurred out the details of n idk #i keep feeling like an imposter n like i shouldnt be feeling it. i didnt rly like how ive been acting #but like also i let a lot of stuff out of the box in my brain doing that n idk how 2 put it back or deal with it #so now i just feel like a half untangled mess with 0 stability bc in that 'growth n discovery' period i realized almost everyone in my life #wasnt someone i wanted 2 keep around #so now its rly just me n my bestie that r close n i keep everyone else at arms length #how tf did i get on rambling abt this omggg #ugh i am srsly such a mess n i cant find the root n i think thats whats freaking me out the most #i hate not being able 2 explain why im feeling a certain type of way or justify it in anyway #i just wanna feel okay n stable n be a fun person 2 be around again!!!! #i wanna be completely independent but like.... everything is so expensive n i have no interest in anything that would pay well #i wish my sw stuff would take off but i think im too messy 4 ppl 2 wanna stick around n also i dont think im super attractive unfortunately #I DUNNO #i dont have any answers atm n its freaking me out #i either wanna figure out how to be okay with not having answers or to get the answers and solve my problems #n i also dont wanna depend on other ppl 2 solve them for me #i just wanna be a whole.. well rounded person who can take care of themselves n do what i want #while also being a cute puppy thats rly rly rly fun 2 play with n is super helpful n supportive 2 the ppl it cares abt 🥰 #i am so sick of these silly dumb messy fears n emotions that keep me stuck in boring ruts #i wanna go out n have my own fun n be my own person n stop being so scared of everything!!!!! #its okay if things go bad!!!! its just more stories 2 tell ppl!!!! ppl love my stories!!!! ugh i just needa put myself out there #i just needa find smth fun 2 do that keeps me around fun ppl #i just dont know what yet #concerts r fun but idk no one super interesting is touring here rn n i need smth more frequent #ok i think this ramble is ovr #im rly sry if ur reading this!!!! i love u vry much n hope ur having a wonderful day!!!!!!!!!

[artificialcats]

.

#supposed to b having a call w friends tonight for my bday but im so burnt out and emotional lately i just keep bursting into tears when #i go to join the call #ive been putting it off rescheduling all day bc my work schedule sucks and itll b at least a week #until we could (potentially if ppl r available) call again and my bday is friday so im like hhhh #but i dont have the energy to mask and pretend to b happy #but alternatly i dont want to b what is supposed to b a celebration For me b a downer bc im sad and crying #iit sucks too bc part of my struggle lately has been loneliness but now i dont even have the energy to call w friends (something that wiuld #like. help with that :’) #and i feel so embarassed and ashamed that i cant just ‘push thru it’ #especially bc only one of these ppl knows im autistic and im too scared to bring it up to anyone else #and too embarassed to ask for accomodations in a friend group #ive been struggling sm lately w this recent need for mkre support and accomodations and not mnowing where/how to impliment them and have #ppl take me seriously #update i called it off after crying AGAIN when trying to get myself in the call and i feel zero relief #feels like a rock on my chest

[sango-obligato]

fucking hell

#ooookay tw for suicide in the tags. just putting that out there #ive been desperately trying to fix things and relationships in the chip fandom #especially with the influx of people breaking off contact with gremlin. theres been a lot of people who've cut her off #i even got in contact with one of her victims through the chip discord. i helped him with his ''experiences with gremlin/apology'' tweet #<- which is up btw. i quote retweeted it on priv but i might repost it here #but i just feel like my efforts are just completely useless #this mindset was what pushed me to defend my friends throughout 2022. but at the same time its how i got into the shit with ''yuzu'' #(quotes cuz yuzu was a sockpuppet. gremlin really thought she could chase me out of the fandom after that shit) #im just too fucking hopeful and too fucking nice #i held hope that there'd be a day where the fandom would be nice again - despite me wanting to kill myself **partially** thanks to gremlin #and in february i **had** to leave if i didnt wanna be dead. im (kinda. emphasis on kinda) back in the fandom now but still #im terrified of talking to people directly about this shit. its taken me a lot for me to open up about this shit to other people privately #especially to the folks in the chip discord. it felt so relieving when i knew i was safe to rant about her and what she did to everyone #ughhhh im yapping about nothing. sorry i sound really annoying about this shit LOL #but i just wanted to chuck my feelings out into the void. its what i do #val being a pissbaby

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i was supposed to spend the last 2 days prepping and relaxing for the start of this big project tomorrow #but ive spent thr last 2 days frantically coding as fast as i could and focusing v hard to get a lot of bullshit done #and ive fixed things since yesterday. the changes i had to make were too too bad bc the thing that went wrong was so fucking weird #but it should be okay by tomorrow. knock on wood. but this does mean ive done fuck all to prep for tomorrow #so we r winging it bby. ugh. just gotta fucking pray that everything goes ok. pls let nothing b broken and let everything seal properly 🙏 #i was also supposed to meet with my boss today. probably for her to make sure i dont fuck up this project but apparently their safety hood #was having an emergency... whatever that means. so im sure shes having a week as well. and im free to fuck everything up for everyone #ugh. im so. theres a certain point in burning out where youre not really in pain anymore. you dont really feel anything all your joy and #hope dissolves away and u just exist to be useful. and i feel like its easier to maintain that than trying to b happy #i do not advise that bc its a fucking miserable. wasteful way to live but i dont really have time to try for anything better #god. i really hope my measurements friday dont take a full 8hrs. i dont know if i can handle that. literally i would have stay intensely #focused with my brain being Interrupted every 5min so i can manually record data points. its gonna b agony #so that fun. but maybe it wont. maybe itll be great and fun and ill have a wonderful time. seems unlikely but ya never kno #lets not think abt the fact that having to rush all this is preventing me from being able to do all thr other bullshit i need to get done #to prepare for the future. future? what future? hard to imagine from the bottom of this pit im digging myself #sigh. in a few months i can leave this place and never come back. soon but not soon enough #lol i was literally crying listening to cold play earlier bc idk thats the type of music my parents would put on at parties in summertime #so it evokes a v specific mood. which is i guess me hiding away from ppl at parties haha #back when i didnt have to worry abt things so much and i could just listen to the frogs chirping and watch the fireflies #oh god. now my boss is asking if i reached out for help tomorrow. no. lady i would rather drink bleach than have to direct an undergrad #tomorrow. its 10pm im fucking tired. just let me be sad. did i reach our for help? no my brain is on fire #tomorrow is gonna b a long day ugh #unrelated

[castingcomets]

Every summer I feel like i've grown a lot and I'll do better this time around but then the Autumn hits and the specific way it makes me feel has changed and grown and compounded too and now like every year im sitting here with so much homework feeling so lost and uncertain. And I want to make cookies

#GIRL .. GET A CLUE. Every year #Last year i remeber feeling at first that the autumn madness was the same as the winter madness and that #it shared elemnts with the spring madness #and i stopped thinking of it like that bc Thats Stupid. #I understand seasonal nostalgia sure but you dont need to put it quite like that . Im sure theres too much overlap for discretion of terms #But right now im like. OK this is autumn madness ceritifed like 100% pure #Lastb year i had a lot of energy so the signature enervation was curtailed so i confused it with some other things #But this is certifed . And i feel like an idiot #''oh i can do fall classes of course i did that my whole school career didnt i? my whole life'' DROP OUT OF HUMANITIES NOW . #Im not sure if there even is a winter madness but i know that there is the January Reckoning to be weary of (seasonal deporession) #I feel like winter classes would be easier at this point come on . #I was hoping that this year would be easier bc ive grown and learned stuff and like #I DID NOT WANT TO RELIVE THE MISERY OF LAST YEAR DOING ONLINE HOMEWORK IN THE BASEMENT #THINKING ABT dbgt characters like my life depended on it even though i hadnt the time . #And it's already better im sure bc im doing in-person school now which helps but STILL. I just want to sleep for forever #I did this last year too i made a post like this and ranted to myself in the tags EXPECT ONE NEXT YEAR TOO

[kulemii]

i never really realized until recently that i could write smut for myself in the 1st pov and not go to jail. i am a free woman

#for now #i havent quite realized the potential of my true power yet #but really writing explicitly FOR MYSELF has been great exercise #the more i do it the more it feels like im warming myself up to care to write for others again #i know that sounded harsh but that's not how i meant it #its just been a long time since ive written for the sake of no one but myself seeing it #like yeah its going online still but it's like... a quiet place where i dont expect anyone to find it #and if they do find it oh well and they might be too put off by it being 1st pov that they dont even read it #so i still win #i feel really free with this somehow idk how to explain it #i've also been talking to other people about their writing a lot lately and that's been good exercise too i think #with me being out of work ive also had time to schedule each day to work on my bigger projects as well and i know that helps too #writers block is coming and going but 1st pov exercises have certainly done alot for my motivation #hell I've talked alot here i should shut up now

[dot823]

im going through hell right now

#i can hardly make myself even do things i like doing #let alone things i need to do #even eating is a struggle #because the effort of getting out of bed and getting food is too hard #and also i cant afford to just buy food because my family is poor as fuck right now #i spend hours just on tumblr or instagram or talking with friends while doing nothing constructive and then i feel exhausted and pass out #i need to do my taxes and i need to deal with work things or get a new job and i need to be an adult #but i cant even get myself to play my favorite video game im so down #the idea of even having to leave my house for four hours to work is too much #putting on pants is a lot of effort #and i cant apply for disability bc ive tried and it's so goddamn hard and they expect you to remember everything youve ever done #and every penny you've ever held #and god FORBID you have family or friends who have ever given you money to help you #its literally ridiculous #not to mention the state of my house is horrible bc my whole family is depressed #and i want to move so badly but i cant even afford the gas to get to my friends house even if i just loaded my car up and left #im struggling #my mom gets paid in 8 days and until then i have approximately 2 frozen meals and some pasta i can eat #everything else in my house i cant eat because of dietary restrictions and most of it is expired anyway

[snekdood]

Im so tired of acting the way i think some ppl on here think i should act. Im tired of assuming theyre seeing me through the lens my ex provides for them. Im tired of feeling like nothing i say or do matters anyways because people have made up their mind about me and refuse to try to see me in another light. I know who I am and I know what im like and im tired of trying to almost essentially help people see me change my behavior for the better from something i never even was? Because i guess i feel like if i act like most people dont know about the issues between me and my ex that means other people will think im just *pretending nothing is wrong or happening*. It feels like i cant win either way. I cant play pretend as this horrible person whos trying to reform and have people allow me the chance to actually change and recognize that change and i cant also be myself and just know myself without people thinking im just ignoring this thing that isnt even a thing i need to work on or ever even fucking did. Im so tired of feeling convinced that other people are convinced im horrible and having to work from there and having to try to navigate that situation and get someone to see my side of things because ive just come to the conclusion that some people just will refuse to and idk. Theres nothing i can do in this situation. I just know i didnt deserve any of it.

#im like one of the most careful fucking people in the world istg #even before all of this but now especially after this bc im operating under the assumption that ppl see me as if im not #i almost feel brainwashed by what i think others perception of me is like online. #and then i try to go through the steps i think someone who did fo those things would do. or as if i did do those things and what id do #in that situation afterward. but i didnt do those things. and i dont need to live and operate as if i did to prove to other ppl i have the #emotional and mental maturity that i do #i dont need to sit here and let people gaslight me into their perception of me or at least what i think it is #i am such a good stinky lil guy. its people like my ex and the people around them online that brought out all this bitterness in me. #i resent those people so much. and i cant help but feel like theyre all stalking me still all the time. they want me to live like that too #like im in a panopticon. but this is what im saying- if i move on like i know myself and operate as myself the way ik myself #THOSE PEOPLE will come around and then act like im ignoring the situation with my ex and 'trying to escape responsibility' #i dont know why i feel so obedient to their perception. i mean i guess i know why like probably bc of my brother pushing me into a box #and me feeling like i have to stay in there or be abused. i feel the same way with my ex- if i dont act like ive been in the box they put #me in this whole time then they are going to get mad at me and try to come after me more i feel like. #i feel like thats when theyre really going to try to sic their followers or friends after me. #idk but im going to stop. i dont care how you see me. its not real. its not true. it never was. i was abused by this person and thats the #final truth about it. im not saying i couldnt have been reactively abusive sometimes with them but all the things they say i did #that they did to me but say i did but x10 worse? no. fuck off. thats not fucking me. you DONT KNOW ME. YOU HAVENT BEEN AROUND ME #ALL MY LIFE GROWING UP. IF YOU KNEW ME YOU WOULD KNOW ID NEVER DO THAT SHIT. YOU WOULD FUCKING KNOW THAT. #which is why i know you dont know me. none of you do. im tired of operating the way i think you want me to. #im tired of trying to empathize with people i dont want to LIKE my ex or my brother or my sister or my dad #im tired of trying to see things the way they do. how my ex is probably just this dumb scared kid inside who does dumb shit and doesnt #think about the consequences and doesnt care about the consequences of their actions because their only priority is #self preservation. like i dont care. i understand but i dont care. they still hurt me. they still did what they did to me. #they still know they did something wrong otherwise they wouldnt have started this whole smear campaign. #im tired of trying to sympathize with them. give them a million chances to change. do what i can to encourage them to actually have empathy #even towards the people they hurt and like to smear. #because they dont do the same for me. i know. i know theyre still shit talking me. i know they cant stop because if they did theyd have to #have more empathy about me on a whole lot of things they dont want to think about bc they dont want to feel about how they treated me #and continue to treat me by keeping up this narrative abt me online. they dont give a fuck so why am i extending so much to them.

[vanyafresita]

actually, you know what ? im glad my ex gf ghosted me, i dodged a bullet it seems

#this was two years ago and just a few months ago i started getting over it #on the one hand yeah it fucking SUCKS i wish i had had some type of warning instead of radio silence suddently from one day to the other #on the other i was ready to move to texas (me: poc queer fem presenting nd bitch) and was looking seriously jobs over there #and like- i fucking HATE the usa but she was really scared about leaving the states to come to europe- so i was willingly to travel there to #be with her and not put her through that (ive been traveling since childhood so im used to it- but she has certain mental stuff going on and #taking her away from her family and her childhood city was going to be really tough- of course i'd sacrifice my life for hers) #and like im so sorry to everybody who is stuck in the usa right now bcs ur country is treating yall so poorly i feel genuinely bad #but as someone who was planninh to work over there as a teacher..... IM SO FUCKING GLAD I DONT HAVE TO SET FOOT THERE 😭 #every single thing i hear about the education system there seems hellish- as well as the teachers' conditions and wages #like over here its not all rainbows and flowers but at least i dont have to worry about school shootings or getting fired for recommending #books from a banned list 💀 #ESPECIALLY as a poc latino queer linguistics and literature teacher- i'd love to talk to students about a big range of things- i cannot #imagine having to censor myself or dance around a subject becs “kids are too dumb to understand queerness” “youre trying to groom them” #“dont brainwash em you commie” like ma'am im trying to help your child develop basic empathy and respect for those who dont look like them #like i hear some serious worrying stuff from teachers over there i hope u guys are holding up somehow 😭😭😭 #anyways idk how the phrase in english goes but in spanish we say cuando dios cierra una puerta- abre una ventana #(<- trying to look for the positive in getting ghosted by the girl of their dreams) #its fine guys anyways #yeah that was the first LD relationship ive ever had- never trying that again #also i found out im arospec so im definitely not getting into a romantic relationship lmfaoooooo #only QPRs for me now if anything lol #vanya strawberry flavored

[seoulmates98]

I've been thinking these past few weeks about my interactions with my friends and how I interact with them and come to the conclusion that it feels like they love me as a person but aren't exactly interested in me as a person and now I want l kinda want to cry

#the results of me being all by myself with no human interaction for 3/4ths of my day #since im currently not working and my roommates are #feel free to ignore #i just wanted to put this thought somewhere to get it out #hoping it would help the emotion im feeling currently #and the whole process was started by me trying to talk to my roommates about something i thought they would really like #cause they've loved very similar things in the past only to be kinda blown off in a polite way before i can even show them the thing #or for them to very obviously listen/watch a little and then move on to their interests or topics like mine never happened #like i get people can like different things and still be friends but also genuinely not enjoy/become interested in something they're friends #show them and that's okay-i think im just by myself too much right now cause I'm getting to far into my head #but yeah-i listen/watch/read the things they enjoy so im able to engage with them about it as much as i can #cause that's a nice thing to do and it's like bonding time-but i dont think ive really had friends before that would do the same for me #im sad about it but dont wanna disrespect the boundries they've put up or implyed they have about 'infodumping' #possible im reading too much into it tho and projecting my past thoughts and feelings from past friends that blew up in my face horribly #hmmmmm... these thoughts might be therapy thoughts... #personal

[phantom-does-a-thing]

maybe its just imposter syndrome or whatever but I'm looking at my ao3 and im just. not feelin good about my writing rn.

#vent in the tags #it feels like I put myself on too high of a pedestal #and Ive been struggling with my writing lately. and #It feels like I can't live up to that pedestal #and I dont know what happened but now its so hard to write. its so difficult #and it just. idk. I don't know how I have this much writing #and ive built myself so high up with such high standards #I want to be able to get more fics out. to write more often. to post more often again #its so difficult and nothing is living up to my standards #I look at the last time I posted a fic and it just seems so long ago #god I dont even know what im feeling #it hurts. I dont want to look at my ao3. I don't want to touch any of this #I dont deserve any of the hype I don't really deserve the fact that im a slightly well known name #ive been working on a fic and it just feels so slow. like I cant get the words out #and it scares me and I get nervous and I think what if I've lost the ability #and im just so tired. and im so upset. and it hurts a lot to think about and I just #I dont understand any of this. #I wanted to type it out to maybe help myself understand whats going on #but I dont even know how to describe it I just feel awful #sorry idk ignore me im just being dramatic again or whatever #rambling #phever dreams with phantom

[ritsmew-sakunya]

i remember like 3 years ago i was so excited to go to uni and to be in a new place and be independent. and then i went thru 2 years of hell before i couldn't take it anymore and left at the start of my final year.

#part of me wants to try again at another uni from the beginning #cause 1. the uni i went to wasnt the best and was in a real bad place to live in.(just being there sucked the life outta me) #2. my 1st year was in covid so it was very different - i like the online lessons but being thrown into in person stuff was hard because #everyone had made friends and shit already and i had too !! but half of them turned out to not be great. and the other half were more #interested being with other people than me so i ended up alone and left out alot #but i dunno. i have no clue what i want to do with my life.. #i wish i could turn back time and tell myself to not go there #cause know all ive got is online friends but even then im super bad at talking to them too #and im in my room like 24/7 and im honestly so tired. #ive been job searching since oct last year and theres like no jobs round here i can do #im literally on a program to help with it due to my autism but thats not going anywhere either #and now im on benfits too and so i gotta make sure to keep up the job search for that #but its hard cause theres nothing out there for me so i cant put anything on the system #and everything just feels like its falling apart for me but everyone around me thinks the opposite is happening and that things are #finally. coming together but its really not. #im more lost than ever but theres nothing i can do about it

[omends]

tag dump: indi & wystan

《 ° wystan ; visage 》 murder be thy name / always walking as somebody else

《 ° wystan ; aesthetic 》 screwed up and broken / beautifully twisted / foolishly gifted / maybe i was built for pain

《 ° wystan ; isms 》 the darker the weather the better the man ; you can take all you want but not who i am

《 ° wystan ; musings 》 ive turned my words into a weapon /   bloody lips but they speak the truth  

《 ° wystan ; interaction 》 do you want to put up a fight ? or do you want to get out alive ?

《 ° wystan ; meta 》  i rose up from the dead / i do it all the time

《 ° wystan ; ship things 》  so kiss me now this whiskey on my breath ; taste the lives that i have taken / what little soul that i have left

《 ° wystan ; desires 》  youre an idiot for thinking this was anything but blood on the wall / on the couch / on the corner of my mouth

《 ° indi ; visage 》 i thought i saw the devil this morning / looking in the mirror ; with a warning to help me see myself clearer

《 ° indi ; aesthetic 》 bullet proof in black like a funeral

《 ° indi ; isms 》 just picked out an early grave to bury shit ; not me just the weight that ive been carrying

《 ° indi ; musings 》 listen so you dont have to worry / ill tell you what you already know

《 ° indi ; interaction 》 coming out from under to die another day / safe to say ive seen better days

《 ° indi ; meta 》 is it a little too close for comfort ? what we become is in our own hands

《 ° indi ; ship things 》

《 ° indi ; desires 》 i feel so ignorant but i could never give up ; does anybody ever know when they got what they want ?

#《 ° wystan ; visage 》 murder be thy name / always walking as somebody else #《 ° wystan ; aesthetic 》 screwed up and broken / beautifully twisted / foolishly gifted / maybe i was built for pain #《 ° wystan ; isms 》 the darker the weather the better the man ; you can take all you want but not who i am #《 ° wystan ; musings 》 ive turned my words into a weapon / bloody lips but they speak the truth #《 ° wystan ; interaction 》 do you want to put up a fight ? or do you want to get out alive ? #《 ° wystan ; meta 》 i rose up from the dead / i do it all the time #《 ° wystan ; ship things 》 so kiss me now this whiskey on my breath ; taste the lives that i have taken / what little soul that i have left #《 ° wystan ; desires 》 youre an idiot for thinking this was anything but blood on the wall / on the couch / on the corner of my mouth #《 ° indi ; visage 》 i thought i saw the devil this morning / looking in the mirror ; with a warning to help me see myself clearer #《 ° indi ; aesthetic 》 bullet proof in black like a funeral #《 ° indi ; isms 》 just picked out an early grave to bury shit ; not me just the weight that ive been carrying #《 ° indi ; musings 》 listen so you dont have to worry / ill tell you what you already know #《 ° indi ; interaction 》 coming out from under to die another day / safe to say ive seen better days #《 ° indi ; meta 》 is it a little too close for comfort ? what we become is in our own hands #《 ° indi ; desires 》 i feel so ignorant but i could never give up ; does anybody ever know when they got what they want ?

[haetrack]

HOW IT ALL GOES | MASTERLIST

there are millions of love songs in the world. though they all speak of the same thing, they’re not all the same. love can be happy, sad, exciting, or just shown physically. love is different for everyone. there’s a song for every story, for every person who experiences love.

starring: haechan, mark, jaehyun, jaemin, and renjun!

general warnings: fluff, angst, and smut (not all fics will contain smut, so minors be aware!) fics will be tagged with their specific warnings! general yearning, heartbreak, happy and sad endings

note: the fics are not connected to each other! they can be read as stand alone fics but i hope you stay to read them all! synopses and tags might be changed during the writing process!

side note: if you would like to be tagged, please send in an ask or comment on this post!

I. (lucky for you) we’re just friends

best friend!haechan x reader

synopsis: haechan is someone who always gets what he wants. he’s willing to do anything, but now, he realizes, he doesn’t know what to do. will you, his best friend of many years, let him step into your life where he hasn’t before? do you think about him as much as he does you? or will it all slip away, along with all his memories with you. (angst, little fluff)

side a: like a friend - pulp

side b: now playing

II. no clue

one night stand!mark lee x reader

synopsis: when mark realizes how long it’s been since he’s gotten laid, he rushes out to a party. he’s quick to find someone, rushing into a room without really thinking about it. when he sees you laid under him, it clicks that he might just like you, a stranger. he tries looking for you all over campus, wanting to talk to you. how long will it take for you both to meet? do you even want to meet him? (smut, fluff, little angst)

side a: tongues - the frights

side b: now playing

III. your fate, my karma

fwb!jaehyun x reader

synopsis: jaehyun realizes he’s in love with you. it’s fucked, especially because he rejected you once before. he doesn’t want to ruin what he has with you, more importantly, the friendship he has with you. he can’t help it, not with how you look at him, how you smile, how you feel. it’s like he was made to see and touch you. he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold in his secret. (smut, angst, little fluff)

side a: somethin’ stupid - frank sinatra

side b: flip over?

IV. can it last forever?

boyfriend!jaemin x reader

synopsis: after many successful dates, jaemin finally asked to be your boyfriend. you were so happy in the beginning, but doubts begin to fill your head. jaemin is a loving boyfriend, but you can’t help but wonder if you deserve him. did you go into this too fast? what if this is all you have? will you be able to make him happy? (fluff, angst, suggestive)

side a: valentine - laufey

side b: flip over?

V. all to myself

acquaintance!renjun x reader

synopsis: renjun hates how all you’ve been doing is talking about another man. usually, he wouldn’t really mind. but now, he realizes the only reason why he hates it is because he likes you. you’re a friend of a friend, and he’s not sure how he’s supposed to get closer to you if all you’re thinking about someone else. (fluff, smut)

side a: eastside - daisy

side b: flip over?

a/n: im so excited for this series HOORAY!!! i hope u guys are as excited as i am when i start releasing them :3 i also recommend listening to the songs i put!! the fics were inspired by them and lay out the overall feel i want the fics to have! enjoy reading :p

#nct fic #nct smut #nct scenarios #nct dream smut #nct 127 smut #nct angst #haechan fic #haechan angst #mark lee fic #mark lee smut #jaehyun fic #jaehyun smut #jaemin fic #jaemin smut #renjun fic #renjun fluff #hiag

[ririblogsss]

Ok so I've read that OCD, can be a by product of trauma.

So what if Danny doesn't relize he is deeply traumatized by the events that happened in his early childhood. By that I mean with all the weapons and chemicals spills around his house and of course his untimely death.

He noticed that his home has no order whatsoever and that's what made it dangerous to live in. He only found comfort in his own room because it was the only space the could truly control, and make sure it was safe.

He started associating organization and cleanliness with safety and security. He has underling fear of coming into contact with contaminants, and that it will bring his whole world to collapse if he does indeed come into contact with one.

So lets say that a revel gone wrong, and Dannys put into foster care and then handed into the Wayne family.

At this point the Bats know that Danny used to be phantom, because lets be real they would immediately figure it out. Yet Danny has no clue they are the bats. He just believes they are a really big family with too much money to know what to do with it.

So Danny someone who has no clue he has OCD but presents most if not all the characteristics.

For instance:

Danny subbing the same spot on the rug for hours trying to get rid of it. Because in his mind if that spot stays bad things will happen.

On another instance he is seen organizing and reorganizing his shelf on a very specified order and continuously going back until he is satisfied.

When he goes to eat he always asks if the food was washed and cleaned properly multiple times.

He always counts if all his cleaning supplies he keeps are there in the morning.

He has a very strict schedule in which he doesn't break and refuses to break, especially his cleaning schedule.

Now the Bats are completely aware of this, and instead of making feel bad about it they help him and reassure him every time.

Examples:

Danny found that in the living room the rug was too dirty, because of the constant influx of people bringing in dirt with them. Of course Alfred always cleans it, but Danny needs to make sure himself. So one of the siblings would help him clean the rug his way, as Danny does it in a very specific way.

Another example is when Danny started cleaning during a movie night because of all the popcorn that was dropped on the floor. The rest just stopped the movie and helped him clean the area, and then resumed the movie careful not to spill more popcorn.

At one point the family was concerned because Danny was moving into a more dangerous zone of the compulsions, such as scrubbing his hands raw because he accidentally touch something 'dirty' without his special gloves.

So they made Bruce ask him if he wanted to go to a therapist and possibly a psychiatrist for his OCD. And Danny just said he didn't have OCD he just wanted things to be clean and organized like everyone else.

in the end he was convinced to go to a therapist so he could learn to manage living with OCD, but he was endlessly happy that he had people to fall back to that didn't judge him, and instead helped him out.

note:

(I just want to say that I don't have OCD myself but a lot of my family members do have it, and ive seen how it affects their daily lives. And I wanted to bring to light that people can't control their obsessions/compulsions but they can learn to manage it so they can live calmer with less anxiety. So I hope I made it as realistic as possible and didn't sound stereotypical or offensive)

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover