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creatrix-codex · 1 month

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Sex Shouldn't Hurt (not even the first time)

Vaginas are pretty cool. At rest, the walls sit lightly closed, and the depth is pretty short. There is a little natural moisture, but not much. But arouse her, and she begins to open, lengthen, and lubricate.

Pain during sex, like all pain, is an indication that something is wrong. The easiest explanation is that you aren't fully aroused. Arousal isn't instantaneous. It takes time. Bartholin's glands are the primary source of a woman's lubrication, but they're on the outside of the vagina, and the vagina itself makes minimal moisture. And again, the vagina isn't just some open gaping hole ready for penetration at all times.

Fluid alone is not indicative of arousal occurring at all, and it isn't indicative of the level of arousal. It doesn't mean you're "ready". Some women, like me, are just really well hydrated and we, eh.... overproduce. Oftentimes a woman's body will turn on the sprinklers at the first sign that penetration is possible simply because it will help protect her vagina from damage.

I was very fortunate that when I had sex for the first time, I had a more experienced partner. While I thought "spread legs + shove in" was what was supposed to happen, he knew better. Because he was actually willing to wait and prepare me, my first sexual experience was completely painless.

Lack of arousal isn't the only reason for pain during sex. There are a number of medical reasons for dyspareunia - pain during sex. Vagina atrophy (when the muscles lose tone and therefore have more difficulty adjusting) isn't uncommon. It can come from other medical conditions, or just from not having sex in a long time.

Vaginismus is a condition that causes your vagina to tense up automatically. It can be caused by generalized fear and anxiety, trauma such as sexual assault, STIs, chronic conditions like endometriosis, yeast infections, fear of pregnancy, or nerve damage. It can also be an early indicator of menopause.

If you experience severe or recurring pain during sex, it's more likely to be medical. Please speak to a competent medical provider as soon as possible because there are options to alleviate it, and it's probably a sign of something more major going on.

If you experience pain or discomfort during sex due to a lack of arousal, please speak to a competent sexual partner as soon as possible because you deserve enjoyable sex. I'm being glib, but keep in mind that most sexual partners you have don't want to hurt you and don't want to be bad at sex. Say something. If they think you're into it, why would they change? You can give them the opportunity to improve. It can even be mutually enjoyable to coach your partner in what you like.

#female anatomy #women's health #women's bodies #health info #creatrix codex

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thecatspasta · 1 month

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Inspired by @arrgh-whatever's post on helping ppl with BPD

Edit bc I forgot to add this: Being vulnerable means smth different for different ppl, something that could read as being vulnerable to you can read as just another Tuesday for someone else

ID under the cut

[ID: a simply-drawn comic, narrated by a person coloured-in in pink.

Panel 1: The pink person narrates: "So there's a lot of "signs your ex is a narcissist and how to deal with them" and it's not very accurate. So here's how to actually "deal" with a narcissist from someone with narcissistic personality disorder."

Panel 2: This panel has the heading: "1. Supply." The pink person narrates: "People with NPD have very fragile self-esteem, and supply is what keeps us from having a mental breakdown. Supply can be many things, but often attention and praise are effective. Stuff like "Wow! That's super cool!!" can go a long way." A person is shown saying this to another person, who smiles.

Panel 3: This panel has the heading: "2. Criticism." The pink person narrates: "Oh boy. So narcissists take things as personal very easily. It's because if anyone contradicts our delusions that we have built our entire self-image on, it feels like you are attacking us as a person." There is an example shown, where one person says "hey, you were a bit too rude back there," but the other person hears "You're an awful dick no-one likes." The alternative manner of phrasing is suggested as "Hey, you were a bit too rude. You're cool, but some people took it poorly." The second person in this example thinks "I'm still a cool person. It's not my fault, but I can do things to be better." The narrator continues, "We don't really understand the concept of a harmless mistake."

Panel 4: This panel has the heading: "3. Boundaries." The pink person narrates: "With narcissists, setting down strict boundaries is very important. 1. Knowing we have hurt you because you didn't set down boundaries can really upset and annoy us because the delusions that we can do no wrong and know you best get broken. 2. If you let us break boundaries, it can lead us to see you as "weak" and devalue you. Communication is key."

Panel 5: This panel has the heading: "4. Anger." The pink person narrates: "So people with NPD tend to be prone to anger. This is a defense mechanism, because to us, it's either facing the inaccuracies of our delusions and having a mental breakdown, or blaming something else. We do not mean to lash out; we just don't have the skills to cope properly. You can help by: 1. Letting us express out emotions without judgement; 2. giving us praise or attention; and 3. Distracting us from what angered us." Each example of how to help is accompanied by a small cartoon.

Panel 6: This panel has the heading: "5. Other NPD things!" The pink person narrates: "'Love bomb, devalue, discard' is actually: we are genuinely obsessed with you and want you to recognize us as cool, we lose that obsession and move on, we feel threatened in some way and lash out. We can't really handle being seen as vulnerable. We take sympathy and empathy as pity and pity as you telling us we're weak. Not acknowledging we're being vulnerable and acting as if nothing is wrong can be helpful in these situations. People with NPD have a very warped view of reality. We do not mean to hurt you and often do not realise we have. Remember, this won't work for everyone, and talking is very important."

/end ID]

Ty to @aromanticsky for the id

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obihoe · 1 month

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kakashi eats dog kibble for breakfast and madara devours the bleeding heart of his lover that he just ripped out and obito eats a handful of pills that he just found on the ground outside of a nightclub

#just so u know ...#important info for everyone #madara #posts #obito #kakashi #mdr wants nothing but merge w his lover in any way possible obt wants to get high as fuck no matter how and kks #well he likes dogs. so he wants to be just like them ... also he doesnt care abt his own health #bc he's got depression #maybe if he eats the same food as his dogs he will some day become just as happy and carefree as them ^_^

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ed-recoverry · 1 year

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Credit

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andyundan · 2 years

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Biden signed an executive order yesterday with the aim of protecting and expanding access to abortion services

The order:

Protects out of state travel to get abortions as well as purchasing medication

Protects access to contraceptives. Health and Human Services are to take any (crucially) legal steps to enable access to medical contraceptives and family planning services

Protects against privacy violations and deceptive practices. (Does this mean that HHS is expected to crack down on crisis pregnancy centres?)

Protects patients, providers and clinics, including mobile clinics, who are accessing or providing reproductive health services.

This order also claims to do a lot of other stuff, for more information please go to the official fact sheet linked in the article.

Also I think it’s super important to note that nowhere in this order does Biden codify abortion rights. He’s still defending state rights to decide the legality of abortion within that state, even though we know that states that criminalize abortion or putting women in danger.

I personally think this is him dangling abortion rights in the face of voters and asking them to vote Democrat or else. All said, it’s still important to know that there are now legal protections for you if you choose to travel for abortions or if you purchase medications.

#haven’t seen any posts about this yet so thought I’d get the info out #especially with the climate around abortion rights I understand how important it is for some people to know this #abortion rights #abortion #united states #joe biden #executive order #female reproductive health #feminism #us politics #you know what’s weird how come I never hear anyone talking about feminism on this site anymore #ahhh throwback to when I used to be a political blogger

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radiostaticsmile · 1 month

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Safety and rapid attachment in BPD

People with BPD often form rapid and intense attachments to new people, and this can be especially intense when both people have BPD. These rapid attachments can be dangerous and painful, since you start to get very close to a person before seeing them in many situations and really knowing them. Most of the advice I have received as a person with BPD is to just avoid these kind of attachments. However, in my experience, that will just lead to me self-isolating, because I literally do not know how to make friends with a new person otherwise. I am sort of an all or nothing person, I can let myself talk about everything and be very familiar with someone or I can be entirely closed off and struggle to connect at all. Additionally, attachment to a new person in this intense fashion causes feelings of euphoria, which I think people with BPD should be allowed to enjoy.

Our goal should not be to have relationships that look like everyone else’s, even if that were possible, which I really do not think that it is. Forcing yourself not to have these attachments can be harmful. However, like I said, these kind of attachments can be dangerous, especially for people who are emotionally volatile like people with BPD are. So instead we need to focus on how to have these kind of attachments safely. The following is advice on how to do this, based on my own experience as a person with BPD who as experienced the good, the bad, and the ugly as a result of rapid intense attachment.

Possible results of attachment

There are three possible results of a rapid attachment. Knowing what all three of them are, and most importantly accepting that they may happen, is important in both keeping yourself safe and treating the person you are attached to well. When you are intensely attached and it is going well, it can feel like you can trust that person with your life, and it is going to last forever. It is not. The intense attachment phase will end, and it is important to know that. It is really a sad news, because it honestly is the best feeling in the world. Something being temporary doesn’t mean you shouldn't enjoy it, however. So enjoy your feelings, lean into them as much as the person you are with consents to it, but accept the that it is not a permanent state. Accepting this can help prevent a BPD crash when it does start to fade in intensity, and it can help you keep an eye out for signs that it is going to end badly.

So what are these three ways it can end?

1. The relationship cools down, but remains good.

This is the ideal! Yippee, you have yourself a new friend. You may miss the intense feelings you had in the beginning, but they can and will come back sometimes, especially if your relationship is kinky and you do a scenario lol. But you are unlikely to have that constant obsession feeling long term, it will come and go or it may stop and you will have a more regular relationship. It is okay to feel less intensely about the person! It doesn’t mean you don’t like them anymore, it just means that intensity is difficult to maintain for a long time!

One important thing to remember about this is that the person you are attaching to may reach this phase before you do! You may have been constantly messaging in the beginning, and now they are replying less often and doing other things. This does not mean they do not like you any more! BPD makes us very sensitive to rejection, and someone reaching this phase before you can hurt! But I promise everything is okay, and this is what you want to eventually happen, because it is what allows you to be able to have a sustainable long term relationship. Do some coping mechanism things while your person is busy, play your favorite games, talk to other friends, color or draw, whatever helps you feel better when you are down. Do not try to make the person talk to you more than is comfortable for them! This is crossing their boundaries and will either scare them away or damage them mentally.

2. The relationship fizzles or ends because of an incompatibility.

When forming an intense attachment, you tend to think about the other person 24/7. You form an idea of them in your head that you really like, but since you do not actually know them that well this idea may not actually match the reality of what that person is like. Sometimes after a bit one or both of you will realize you aren’t actually as compatible as you thought! This is okay! This is normal to happen when getting to know a new person, and you are still getting to know a new person even if they feel very familiar quickly! If this happens, it is important to learn to let the relationship go. Realize they aren’t the person you imagined, and don’t try to force them to change to be that person, and don’t try to convince yourself you still like them if you don’t. It is okay to thank them for the good time and part ways! Often this will just kinda be a fizzling in conversation and both people message less until you just kinda stop. You may need to let the other person know that you do not want the relationship to continue though if they are still interested but you are not. Tell them firmly but politely you are no longer interested. This can be scary but it is important to assert your boundaries! If they try to argue and continue when you are no longer interested, block them. No one is entitled to your time or affection!

3. Abuse and mistreatment.

This is the worst case scenario, and unfortunately it is not uncommon. When you attach to someone quickly, you can often make yourself vulnerable to someone when you don’t know them well yet. Personally, I think it is okay to share personal things quickly, since I do not know how to connect to people otherwise and have a bad sense of what is appropriate to talk about when. Instead, it is important to look for signs that the person is using the things you tell them against you. If you tell them something personal and they then use that to trigger you on purpose or control your behavior, run immediately.

In addition to those who are purposefully using your vulnerability to take advantage of you, there are people who will abuse you on accident. In my experience this is actually a lot more common, so it is important to look out for the signs. If someone is not respecting your boundaries, acting entitled to your time and attention when you are not able or not wanting to give it, or trying to change who you are or modify your behavior, run. And by modify your behavior I do not mean boundary setting or them asking you to treat them differently; that is normal relationship negotiation. I mean if someone is trying to get you to change your sleeping or eating habits for them, control who else you talk to, push you to do something you are not comfortable with, or just trying to control what you do when it has nothing to do with them. People can raise concerns if they are worried about you, but they should not be trying to force you to do anything.

Sometimes people think they are doing these things ‘for your own good’. It is for no ones good to have their autonomy taken away, or to live in fear of upsetting or disappointing another person, or to have to live up to impossible standards. Some people will do this because they cannot let go of the idea they made of you in their head, and are trying to make you into the person they wanted you to be. This is why it is so important not to try to force that onto someone; not only is it not going to work and you will be disappointed, You will be abusing them. DO NOT DO THIS!!! Learn to let go if you need to or accept them for who they actually are. This is so so so deeply important.

It can be difficult to admit when someone you like is abusing or mistreating you. After all, you like them a lot and they made you feel so good. You think maybe you can teach them how to treat you well. You can’t. Even if you could, it will hurt you the whole time. It is not your job. If someone starts to disrespect your boundaries, you gotta go. If they mess up a couple times and apologize, that is okay, but if they keep doing it thats no good, even if they apologize, because they are showing you they are not putting in the effort to change the behavior and not hurt you. I know it hurts and its hard and they will probably be mad and that makes it scary. You still gotta do it as soon as possible, the longer you stay the harder it will be. Its okay to block them on everything. Its okay to leave without explanation (though its nice to give one). YOUR SAFETY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THEIR FEELINGS!

Other things to keep in mind

Honestly just keeping those three ending possibilities in mind and accepting the reality is the number one thing you must do to keep yourself safe in a rapid attachment relationship, but there are a few other things to keep in mind.

1. Boundary setting.

As I mentioned above, your boundaries are important! Setting clear boundaries and expectations for what you want out of the relationship, and leaving if the other person cannot respect that, will keep you safe and happy. Often I have been in an intense attachment relationship where I wanted it to be romantically kinky but not romantic, and the other person interprets romance where I did not intend it. Once this happened the other way around where I thought the relationship was romantic and the other person did not intend that. By being very clear about what you want, what you are open to, and what you are not open to, you can prevent pain and misunderstanding for both of you. It may feel a bit weird to talk about if you are open to dating or not early in a relationship where neither of you may really be planning on it, but it can honestly be useful for both people to know. If you ask about this and the person gets weirded out you can link them this essay to explain, lol.

2. Be careful about doing things that are hard to undo.

Speaking of dating, people who attach quickly will often also start dating quickly. THIS IS A BAD IDEA!!! I will not stop you, you can make your own decisions, but it is a lot more difficult and painful to end a relationship with an official dynamic like dating than it is to just stop talking to someone you are getting to know and don’t have an official relationship of any kind with. I know you feel very intensely and you feel like you love them and you will love them forever, but you might not! And if you do turn out to be perfect for each other long term you have plenty of time! It is okay to be fun and flirty, its ok to be horny and lovey, but please both be clear that you are not intending that to be an official relationship (see above point) and WAIT TO DATE.

(And don’t say that it is okay for them to tell their friends that you are their partner if you do not consider yourself so. I once told someone this because they said they just wanted an easier way to explain it to people, but then they took that and decided we were actually dating because of it, I didn’t know how to boundary set and say no, felt trapped and had to break up with a person I never intended to be dating. Do not confuse your terms!!)

I think that’s all. Please add on to this if I missed something you learned in your experience!!

#BPD #mental health #cluster b #relationships #essay #now broadcasting #personality disorders #actually bpd #safety #bpd help #info #bpd resource

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awesomecooperlove · 6 months

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#healthy diet #health #food choices #diseases #lifestyle #health care #healing food #healing foods #healing humanity #important info #knowledge #nature’s pharmacy #pure clean solutions #simple #inexpensive #truth #please share #wwg1wga

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mental-mona · 10 months

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Warning: super long article. Very comprehensive, though.

#benadryl #migraine #migraine relief #migraine meds #mham #health info #health information

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endermen-impasta · 4 months

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Rise of the TMNT: Future Study... Kinda

(( about this dude and the messy future reference in the movie ))

-- Someone made a post about the picture Casey had and how it didn't match up from Casey going to the day the war started, how the Kraang was fast to take over, so on so forth. If you don't know what I'm talking about... I kinda forgot who made that post and didn't like it BUT! I have another thing that tripped me up while watching the movie (( that IDK if someone has pointed out. )) Let's go to the time right after Raph got captured by the Kraang.

-- This moment right here --

-- Leo and Casey have a back and forth, Leo is clearly upset by Raph being captured and fears what could happen to Raph if he doesn't get rescued, clearly understanding how harmful the Kraang can be now (( since he had a near death experience and they hurt Raph -- Raph the brother seen as strong, sweet, and overall invincible { similar to how a child thinks of their parent / parents at a young age} ))

-- As all the same Casey is just focused on making sure the world and Leo survives and doesn't have to go through the hardship that he has to go through. (( clearly the highest important person to him due to seeing -- or at least being told as a kid -- the other brothers die and not having a connected relationship to )) In the moment Casey is also distressed over the fact that he FAILED the only mission he was given from the person he adored. To Casey he needed to complete the mission, not only to save the entire world from complete distortion but to him it was some sort of last task to do so Future Leonardo could rest in peace, knowing that everyone is fine.

-- Whenever Casey was presented with the object he wanted to get, Casey was relieved not thinking about how Raph would be in danger. As soon as Casey said "Nice" (( clearly being an apathetic thought at first )) Leo starts to go off how it's not "fine" or "nice" going over how they captured Raph, which caused Casey to rethink what he should be thinking of. At a stand point of silence Leo ALMOST realized something (( that would be considered completely wrong ))

-- He says "He's from the future, he knew this would happen" (( referencing that Casey is at blame for the events that happened and completely at fault for not warning them ))

-- To this Casey responds with "I didn't know this would happen, it didn't happen in my time." --

-- Let's take a step back. Casey is about the age of Leo and Donnie, (( sixteen years old )) and in the future Leo was thirty / forty before he died. Getting those ages Casey would've been alive when Leo was about twenty something years old. He wouldn't know about what happened the day of the invasion (( unless someone explained it to him -- which to the story the resistance told kids how the sky ripped open and started chaos, no one went into detail about what actually happened, or the whole day was fuzzy, some sort of forgotten memory as a way to survive the war at hand. ))

-- That scene is confusing, being that someone remembering what happened on the day of the invasion being next to nothing and how Casey knew what happened that day without even being a thought in someone's brain yet. He was an UNBORN, literally.

-- From that scene and on they went through an entire trauma enhanced movie and at the end, everyone got the good old cold glass of "here's-some-trauma-that-will-never-go-away-and-affect-your-entire-life-at-every-hour-of-your-living-breath"... So refreshing... That's all that I wanted to go over for now... I WILL be back to hyper analyze some more scenes, but for now I'ma run off and go into a coma.

(( Update, it was THIS post ))

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt future timeline #information #hyper analyzing the rise movie #rottmnt movie #rise of the tmnt movie #save rise of the tmnt #rottmnt analysis #rottmnt movie study #rottmnt Leo #rottmnt casey jr #info dump #gotta love the mental health and thought process information i have #ayooooooo #TMNT 2018

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