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#he's like cat from victorious in that one crossover episode with icarly
batarangsoundsdumb · 3 years
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what if bruce, for authenticity shits and giggles just, never uses the voice modulator lucius gave him and permanently destroying his vocal chords
batman, not using a voice modulator and being forced to have surgery: lucius fox : excuse me? what was that? “you were right, lucius, i should have listened to you from the start, lucius”  lucius fox: i fucking told you so
dick tries to go out as batman one (1) night and he comes back, chugs a gallon of water, says "what the fuck bruce" and goes on vocal rest for a month
dick, after doing the batman voice without a voice modulator: so that was the worst fucking experience of my life and i’m never doing that again
so obviously jason tries and he does the voice and he goes "what are you talking about, it's not that hard- *wheeze* no im having an asthma attack, im having an asthma attack"
tim manages to go out as batman for multiple days before the rest figures out he just uses a sound app with two (2) sounds that are just 'i am justice' and 'i am batman'
(it took him and steph multiple hours of editing because they couldn't find a recording that didn't have a loud SMACK right through the audio that was just bruce beating up some random criminal)
cass also uses the sounds so she just arrives to some active crime in all her 5 foot glory and you just have the lowest fucking batman voice going "i am justice"
gothamites realise that the bats actually use the voice sometimes and they just start listing them off whenever they hear it like: is it batman? nah he's with the justice league red hood? no he only does it in the mcdonalds drive thru red robin? maybe signal? nah he only patrols during the day robin? no way, he always tries to do the voice to sound cool but he always gets voicecracks
robin: i am justi- *voice crack* FUCK red robin in the corner: omg i got it on camera
(there’s youtube compilations of damian trying and failing to do the voice and all the comments are like “he’s baby,” “aww tiny boy” and damian dislikes all of their comments)
this is @im-cool-i-pinky-swear​ ‘s beautiful brainchild
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So instead of doing my university philosophy essay I've been watching a ton of analysis on [Unamed Footfetishist] universe (thank you Quinton Reviews) and I now have a solid theory on this entire universe itself. The law of this universe is completely different
1.) Manslaughter and Assault are much more direct: So, obviously with all these characters being in kids shows, none of them kill anyone directly. However in iCarly, Gibby very clearly majorly injures an old woman in a serious way. If we are to assume she lives, she obviously told paramedics what happened, if not, she is dead. He also assaults what's her face in iPsycho, which means that when she's arrested, in our universe she would've at least been able to claim a civil suit. Gibby could've freed his friends without knocking her out. In the crossover, Gibby also knocks out a man in iParty with Victorious for noticing him, and when he wakes up you'd assume he'd tell people about it. In a victorious episode, Cat kills people via pretending to be 911 when people call her. This means that in this universe you cannot be charged for these crimes unless you purposefully had a hand in killing them
2.) Statutory is completely fucking legal: in Victorious especially, young characters are regularly hit on by adults. Now I think about this more as like a European thing. Like in these shows, there's multiple adults who hit on actual children. In the reality tv episode, Beck is suddenly hit on by a member of the shows casting team. And there's numerous examples, but they're played as suspicious in the show. I think this is a social thing, and that it may be LEGAL to date a 16 year old, but still not socially acceptable
3.) Interracial relationships have only recently: so no major character ever dates outside their own race. So Andre only dates black women and ONE Polynesian. Now there's two exceptions I know of: a director in victorious and Rex (Rex is definitely black btw). This leads me to believe that in this universe, interracial relationships have only recently been allowed, and so it's less ok socially. Carly and Drake only date within their own race BECAUSE they have this social pressure. Now you may be saying: offices, you fool, Andre has a crush on Jade in an episode so clearly he doesn't ONLY like minorites. Which yeah maybe he crushes on white women, but he refuses to admit it
4.) This the final one, prostitution is legal. Now, you may not know this as an offices™ tumblr follower, but this account has existed for around 3 years in some form or another. Now, on that original account or my personal one from the same era, I positited that Spencer is a pimp, explaining his constant access to women, and his access to enough money to keep an apartment in Seattle (I may find this original post and reblog this with it). But with a network this strong, you must ask how he has not been caught. This is, obviously, because prostitution is completely legal.
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