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#he's going crazy rn what if a tragedy like that is what grounds him
dekuskacchan · 3 years
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shows up on ur doorstep like a stray cat w a dead mouse
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first of all, how dare you
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blue-eyed-korra · 4 years
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Lauren and Kieran’s Relationship: Action not Words
*Mini rant before the actual post:
So apparently someone shared my post about Kieran to the Purple Hyacinth group on Band (shoutout to @lanxyuu​​ for showing me this) and a bunch of people there liked it including Sophism herself which is crazy because this comic has become my life??? And the work she and Eph do is amazing??? And she said she liked my brain!?!?!? AHHHHHHH- sorry I’m still shook but I honestly can’t believe that she actually liked my work just... AHHHHHHHH!
*Mini rant ended here*
Anyways, seeing as how I’m currently a broke, unemployed, soon-to-be-grad student under quarantine, I have no coins to fastpass the last episodes of PH. Believe me it is the greatest tragedy of my life. But I still wanna write more about PH so what should I do? Well I decided to write about how we can learn more about Lauren and Kieran’s relationship through their non-verbal interactions. By looking at how they act around each other rather than just what they say, we can get a better sense for what their relationship was like before episode 43, and where it may go from there. Now I’m not gonna talk about every single time they interact with each other because some are irrelevant, it would take way too long to write and this post would become even more of a mess than it already is. 
Now you might be thinking this is just an excuse to discuss one of my favourite ships because their relationship in the comic isn’t the greatest rn and I don’t want to/can’t accept that they may not get together (in the foreseeable future), and you’d be right. Let me have this. 
Ok so the first scene I wanna talk about is the very first physical interaction they have where they’re not actively attacking/trying to kill each other. I’m talking of course about when they make the deal to work together in episode 11.
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What I like about this is that it’s both impersonal and intimate, because they’re both doing this for their own reasons and they both see the other as a means to an end, but it’s also a blood pact. Kieran cuts his hand and offers it to her, and Lauren accepts in kind. They’re becoming bound to each other, but all in the common interest to take down the Leader.
The same can also be said for when they go dancing; it’s just an act. A way to blend in and find Anslow. They tango and banter and get all close and we all lived for it (hell I’m still living for it), because it’s hot and the sexual tension is insane but to them it’s just apart of the operation and doesn’t really mean anything. Like when she later seduces Anslow to get him alone. It’s all a part of the plan
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I’d say the moment we see the biggest shift is after the whole Blakelsey situation. They’re back at the cave and Lauren is pretty shook because not only did Kieran save her life, but he showed her that he really does try to avoid killing when given the choice. So when she sees he’s injured and struggling with his bandages, she goes to help him.
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Sidenote: This is completely unrelated to anything in this post but I just wanted to say that I never realised how attractive a back could be until I saw Kieran’s so thank you Soph for giving this to us���🏻
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You can see this is part of her way of thanking him for saving her before she actually tells him. You can see that she’s beginning to reevaluate the idea of him that she has in her head, because his actions that night contradict everything she assumed about him. This is the moment she begins to see his humanity. And he’s pretty shocked too because he’s accustomed to doing everything alone and her of all people offering her help and thanks is wild to him, but more about how Kieran feels later.
Things change the most for Lauren after the whole Grim Goblin incident. She’s jumped out of a hotel window, into a tree and fell several storeys to the ground. Kieran finds her injured and trying to play it off as nothing because 1) She’s a strong, independent woman who don’t need no man, and 2) Because she’d rather not get the help of this man in particular. But he calls bullshit and scoops her up bridal style. Again, she’s shook because the Purple Hyacinth is carrying her bridal style, but it wears off quickly and she begins struggling out of his grip. The piggyback is clearly a compromise where he can still carry her but it’s less intimate and, dare I say, ‘damsel-like’ than before. I also think Lauren was ok with the piggyback because it made her taller than Kieran and therefore more in control lol.
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Then they get to his apartment and she one again tries to brush off her injuries but the the turn tables and Kieran is the one helping patch her up. He picks her up, puts her on the table and rips her sleeve off to get a better look at her cut.
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One thing I wanna point out is her reaction to him being so close.
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She’s clenching her fist on the edge of the table because he is way into her personal space. You can practically feel his breath on her neck. He’s being very clinical about everything and probably can’t feel her discomfort, but we as readers can feel just how uncomfortable and anxious she is. This man just carried her to his home and is checking her wounds and is gonna patch her up and it’s breaking every preconceived notion she had of him in her head. He’s not some murderous monster *wink wink* whose sole purpose is to spread misery and pain. He’s just a man who lives in an apartment and likes to read and draw and eats and breaths just like any other person. Logically, she knows that he’s a human, but actually seeing it is another thing entirely. And her realizing this now only makes everything that goes down in episode 43 hurt that much more.
I realize that most of this word vomit essay is about how Lauren feels, but what about Kieran? What can we lean about how he feels about Lauren? Well, that’s gonna be a bit trickier. For one thing, Lauren is the main character, therefore we spend way more time in head than his by a long shot. We know less about his motivations and personality than we do about hers. All of this contributes to the mystery that is Kieran White. But there are moments we can learn things about him, especially when his true feelings shine through.
One thing that demonstrates this a lot is when Lauren surprises him. There are times when Lauren says or does something and for just a second, it throws Kieran off and has him really think about the mystery that is Lauren Sinclair.
We see this happen a few times: First when they’re preparing to go get Anslow and he sees her disguise and the gun strapped to her thigh, Next when she’s thanking him for saving her life and finally when he sees her the morning after she sleeps over.
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With the first one he’s more pleasantly surprised than anything, seeing officer goodie-twoshoes being this resourceful and sneaky. He expected her to be more of a straight-lace killjoy, but now he’s seeing more of her ‘bad girl’ side and it’s interesting.
He’s more shocked than surprised when she thanks him for saving her. Like I said before, he’s an assassin. When do you think the last time he was thanked for saving a life rather than taking one? Probably never honestly. And now this woman, who he knows doesn’t like him very much, is helping him with his bandages and offering him gratitude and he’s kind of in awe of it all. Of course we see him try to brush it off by being a jackass (and we love him for it) but still, I see you Kieran👀.
I think the final scene is the most interesting tho. Because he comes back from getting her stuff at the cave and just sees her standing there. She doesn’t do anything or say anything out of the ordinary. She’s just standing there... in one of his shirts and basically nothing else... in his apartment... the morning after sleeping in his bed. 
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He was confused as to why he brought her there the night before and he’s never brought anyone to his home before, so I think seeing her like this, all casual in his space despite everything, is really driving home just how close they’ve become and how he hasn’t had anything remotely close to a friend or companion or whatever they are in years.
But once again, this was all before episode 43, which still hurts my soul. I know things are gonna be different after everything, but I hope that Lauren and Kieran are able to express themselves more with each other as the story continues.
So yeah, this is a mess. If you’ve made it this far, congrats! Now this post was more of a labour of love than I initially thought because it took literally a whole day to write and then got deleted the next day! So this is the rewrite. Lowkey happy it got deleted because this is far less rambling than before. Take a moment to let that sink in. As I’m writing this episode 48 is only a couple hours from being made free for everyone. Watch me come back on here and post another essay about it lol. Looking forward to doing more of these though! Thanks for all the feedback and remember to send the creators some love!
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