any universe where obi-wan’s son luke learns to milk ani cow as well? i just love anaobiluke with bottom anakin <3
ANON!!!!! so i went to sleep last night thinking about this and i love it i love it so much, it has taken over my brain today (also fucking cheers anon anaobiluke with bottom anakin is THE shit 🥂)
so let's say during the whole anicow fiasco, luke hadn't been home, he had gone on a trip or was working away or smth idk. so when he comes home, obi-wan's like "oh, luke, due to circumstances, we uhh have a new member in the house. this is anicow." cue awkward luke/anicow first meeting. and ofc, obi-wan now has to teach luke how to deal with him and milk him
and so i was thinking of a scenario where one day, obi-wan goes out on an errand or whatever and luke is left alone with anakin. luke's just doing his thing around the house, when anakin comes to him, flushed and frowning
and oh, it's time for anakin to get milked. his breasts have swollen and there's milk leaking out his nipples. luke flushes at the image and he tells anakin that obi-wan is still out and he doesn't know when he'll come back.
(luke has never milked anakin alone himself, it has only ever been with obi-wan teaching him, guiding his hands and whispering encouragement into his ears)
(also, anicow is still pretty skeptical of luke/getting milked by him. bc only obi-wan can touch him >:( !!! no one else should be touching him!!! it took him so long to get comfortable with obi-wan, so yeah he's still working on it with luke) (but still, that doesn't change the fact that his breasts are leaking and uncomfortable and he needs to be emptied.)
so, anakin tells luke that no, he needs to get milked now. and luke's like "oh shit, ok, uhhhh come here then", so luke settles himself on a chair, and anakin comes to stand in front of him.
he asks anakin to turn around to sit diagonal on his lap
(obi-wan's taught him two positions to milk anakin. one, with anakin facing you while you squeeze his breasts and have the milk drip down. not the most optimal bc milk will get squirted at your face and you won't be able to catch much of it, but necessary to know bc anakin kinda likes it or smth
the second one, which is the optimal one, is with anakin in your lap—sideways bc he's too tall—so u can set a bucket on anakin's lap and catch the milk with minimal waste)
but anakin doesn't turn around and sit, he refuses to. bc apparently, he wants luke to use his mouth.
and oh shit, obi-wan did NOT teach luke that. he had only ever taught him how to use his hands. and it's not like he didn't know that obi-wan would milk him like that and it's not like luke can't figure it out himself, but he just doesn't know if he can. should.
so he lets anakin know as much, but when anakin wants something, he wants it. and he needs to get milked now and it needs to be with someone sucking on his boobs. it needs to.
so luke's like damn ok then, and gently pulls anakin and settles him on his lap. except this time facing luke.
so now anakin's boobs are right at luke's face, his nipples hard and perked and leaking, and shit. luke swallows. anakin whines and presses himself further into him, pressing his soft breasts against luke's face.
so luke does what he has to. sets his lips right at anakin's breast. and he sucks.
and immediately, anakin notices the difference.
luke is softer.
the first thing he notices is how luke's face is smooth, it doesn't rasp against anakin's skin like he has gotten accustomed to obi-wan's beard doing
he is also softer in his touch, less firm and gentler
while obi-wan's sucks are generally more calculated, more purposeful, firm and dry, luke's are much less thoughtful. duly inexperienced. chaotic and desperate and wet.
his first few sucks are hesitant. but only the first few. anakin's milk starts streaming and luke deepens his pull, turns further, sucking rougher and faster. and anakin can hear the desperate gulps in his throat. can see the milk streaming down his chin.
and while obi-wan generally keeps his tongue rested against his breast, moving it in casual, spaced out licks, luke's tongue flicks repeatedly against anakin's nipple, an incessant force against his sensitive teat. he moves so much more.
luke eyes flick up to meet anakin's and anakin whimpers, and luke notices how his ears twitch along with his body. luke turns his eyes back down and he gulps and gulps, until anakin is left dry, moving to work on the next breast.
everything's going good, right. except. luke is so so so very much into this and anakin’s letting out the loveliest moans, muffled whimpers and breathless gasps and it's so hot and it has luke horny and his cock very much straining against his pants
doesn't help that anakin's dick is also very much erect and throbbing between them.
so when anakin no longer has any milk to pull, luke removes himself from his breast, and finds anakin's gaze. anakin looks wrecked and luke feels the same—knows he must look the same. anakin’s cock drips against his trousers and his fingers clutch at luke's shoulder.
a question hangs in the air, and they only stare at each other, with neither wanting to address it.
but then luke's desire gets the best of him and his hand goes for anakin's cock, hovers inches from his dick, when the door opens and obi-wan enters the house, greeting stopped mid-way when his eyes catch sight of them.
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I love it when pre Original Trilogy era shows how much effort went into making the Death Star. It took decades, literal decades, and it took so much money and so many people and it was such a secretive thing and it’s staffed by millions because it’s the size of a small moon.
I cannot express how much all of the added information makes it so much funnier that Luke blew it up.
Luke destroys literally everything Palpatine built. He blows up the Death Star, which was referenced in universe as early as the second movie. He blew up the weapon of mass destruction twenty years in the making. And he blew it up pretty much directly after it’s first and only successful attack. It was operational for fifteen minutes, fifteen minutes that Palpatine had the thing he’d been building for longer than Luke has been alive, and Luke blows it up. First day retirement, but first hour retirement.
Luke convinces Darth Vader to turn back to the light side, a feat thought literally impossible by literally everybody. Sidious clearly doesn’t see Vader’s betrayal coming. Vader’s betrayal was not in his plans, nor was it something he was prepared for. Sidious is a powerful Force user with all four limbs while Vader is a man in the tin can Palpatine put him in. If Palpatine had seen Vader turning coming, he would not have allowed it to happen.
Luke literally should not even be alive. Palpatine almost definitely got Padme out of the way on purpose, and he almost certainly was trying for her unborn child as well (there was way too big of a risk that a cute liddol bebe would bring some humanity back to Anakin, and Palpatine did not want Anakin to have any humanity) Luke living is literally the first step in Palpatine’s ultimate downfall, especially once Vader finds out that Luke is his son. His very alive son. His son that is not dead, despite Palpatine claiming Anakin killed Padme. Implying that Anakin killed Padme and she posthumously gave birth. But, she didn’t give birth on Mustafar, which was the last place Anakin interacted with her. And once the mother dies, you have to get those fuckers out fast or they die too.
I imagine Darth Vader piecing all of this together is that meme with all the math floating around his head, because how could Padme have died by his hand and then given birth like two hours later?
Luke killing Palpatine is what ultimately leads to the dissolution of the Empire as an omnipotent entity. Luke killed the Empire. Luke spends a good amount of his adult life killing Empire remnants. We see that in the Mandalorian, since he’s so recognizable that Gideon immediately knows he’s fucked just by seeing an X-wing. We read it in Legends’ continuity, where Luke terrifies Imperials because he can walk into their changing room and stand in their for a minute and they don’t even notice.
Luke destroyed Palpatine’s life’s work. Everything Palpatine spent his whole life working towards, and Luke kills all of it. He blows up not one, but two Death Stars (he may not have pulled the trigger on the second Death Star, but without him, it never would have been destroyed). He convinces not one, but multiple Sith and Dark Jedi to return from the Dark Side. He is the only reason that Obi-Wan Kenobi, the biggest pain in Palpatine’s ass ever born, lives long enough to make it to the Death Star.
Palpatine went through so much effort. And just when he had finally won, when he finally had a weapon capable of destroying entire planets with a single blast, making it impossible for any planets or peoples to go against him, Luke shows up nineteen years late to the Jedi party with space Starbucks and a droid twice his age and almost singlehandedly destroys everything Palpatine ever had a hand in creating.
Luke manages to become even worse than Obi-Wan Kenobi, the ultimate thorn in the side of politicians, and Luke doesn’t even understand any politics. He wasn’t trained in diplomacy like Obi-Wan and Leia, no, he’s a farmboy who left home for the first time in his entire life, just this morning. And he is the one to destroy the Empire.
If they rewrote Star Wars and had it entirely from Palpatine’s perspective, Luke Skywalker would be his greatest foe. Luke Skywalker would be the final boss. Luke Skywalker is the antithesis of everything Palpatine believes in and he is the one character that Palpatine cannot predict. He isn’t as moldable as Anakin, he doesn’t respond to threats very well, he’s apparently impossible to kill via Force lightning (still the funniest scene of all times, the progression of Palpatine’s face falling and him looking like “what the fuck??? Is this kid rubber??? I’ve electrocuted him eight times???”), his unwavering faith in his father’s goodness makes Darth Vader want to be a better person, Luke Skywalker is the big bad of Palpatine’s story and—
There is nothing in this world that is funnier than someone’s biggest antagonist being Luke fucking Skywalker. Luke Skywalker, who saved the galaxy with the power of love and who shouldn’t exist, by Jedi rules and by Palpatine’s own attempts, and whose best friends are literally droids, which Palpatine canonically hates!
Everything about this is hilarious, this is the funniest thing in all of media, Palpatine loses absolutely everything to some backwater farmboy who fucking likes droids.
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DCxDP Prophecy Universe Part 2
Part 1
Damian glared at the envelope. He and Father were in the process of analysing the letter for any signs of toxins, explosives or other traps. Obviously he wasn’t fool enough to open a missive from a questionable source without taking precautions. So far, all their scans had come up empty. Literally. The letter was defying all their attempts at chemical or spectroscopic testing, x-ray and magnetic resonance scans were inconclusive, it defied all properties of ordinary matter. It was frustrating. It was vexing. He was blaming magic.
For all intents and purposes, the letter looked like ordinary paper, with an ordinary wax seal, bearing the initials CW. The looping handwriting addressing it to Damian was precise and neat. Swiping the surface of the letter for chemical traces yielded no results. When Damian had tried to cut off a corner of the paper for analysis it had resisted all attempts, including a laser and a diamond headed cutting tool. Damian’s only satisfaction was that when Father had grunted and taken over the task from Damian, he had no more success than his son. As if Damian didn’t know how to perform the standard array of tests!
It certainly didn’t help that his siblings wouldn’t stop their incessant chattering!
“I’m just saying, ghosts wouldn’t be the weirdest thing we’ve encountered, Red. I’m not sure it would even make my personal Top 5.”
It seemed gossip among heroes travelled faster than the speed of light.
“Really, Nightwing? Ghosts? It’s far more likely to be a meta with something to hide. Or a few screws loose.” Damian could practically hear the eyeroll in Drake’s voice “And since when do ghosts act as glorified mailmen?”
“I don’t know Red, since when do aliens pretend to be Kansas farmboys? C’mon, we deal with magic users all the time!”
“And lets not forget people coming back from the dead” Red Hood interjected over the open comm line.
“Magic is just science we don’t understand yet. Any sufficiently analysed magic becomes indistinguishable from science!”
“B, a little help here?”
“Hn” Father straightened up from his position at the lab table “Oracle, any progress on clearing up the footage from Robin’s mask?”
Grayson threw up his hands with a frustrated huff while Drake smirked.
“The program is almost finished rendering. Whatever scrambler they used did a real number on the video quality. I’m surprised the audio is as clear as it is.” Oracle replied.
“Hn. And the isotope tracer on the money?”
“Sorry B, no hits on the local sensors. Wherever the guy went it’s either outside Gotham or shielded somehow.” she said, mildly frustrated.
“Maybe it’s ghost magiiiiic” Drake sing-songed. Grayson lightly cuffed the back of his head, to which the former Robin responded with a firm shove. Their interaction quickly devolved into a childish tussle.
Damian gave an annoyed huff. “Don’t you two imbeciles have anything better to do?”
“Aww, we’re just here to look out for our baby brother!” Nightwing teased.
“Yeah, we gotta make sure your ghost encounter didn’t leave any lasting psychological damage!” Red Robin added.
Before Damian could retaliate for their needling, Oracle chimed in. “Uh, guys? You’re going to want to see this. Most of the footage was corrupted beyond repair, but I was able to pull some partial stills and, well…” she threw a handful of pictures up on the screen. There was artifacting marring them, but parts of the stranger were visible in each of them. Oracle magnified one that had a pretty good view of his face.
“Holy shit” Drake whispered.
Damian frowned. “What?”
“Dami, he looks like you. Just… older.” Grayson said softly.
“What are you talking about?” Damian snapped.
“Disregard the pale colouring for a second. The nose, the chin… he looks like you if you had a growth spurt,” Drake wrinkled his nose “and went through puberty.”
The commlines erupted into chaos.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Spoiler exclaimed “are you telling me there’s an older version of Robin running around Gotham?!”
“Copy?” Batgirl inquired.
“Don’t tell me Talia cooked up Demon Brat 2.0!”
“Given that he looks older it’s more likely version 0.1 if anything,” Drake snarked, “though there’s the possibility of artificially accelerated growth rates…”
Damian had had enough. “Tt. You are ignoring the obvious - if this is some kind of supernatural entity it likely copied aspects of my appearance in an attempt to engender feelings of familiarity.” he said haughtily, pushing down the uncomfortable churning in his stomach. There was no way Mother would replace him with a cheap copy. She couldn’t! “Besides, the creature has obvious powers and neither of my bloodlines has any trace of the meta gene.”
“That’s ignoring the ghostly elephant in the room.” Grayson chimed in, “Maybe it’s a dead ancestor?”
Drake gave their older brother an annoyed look “Even a time travelling descendant from the future is more likely than that. And delivering a ‘prophecy’ to boot?”
Oracle pulled up an aged up picture of Damian next to the stranger’s, highlighting several reference points. “On closer inspection, there’s a couple of discrepancies. The cheekbones for one - Robin definitely takes after his mother, while our mystery meta looks more like… well… Robin’s grandmother on the paternal side.” she finished hesitantly. “B?”
They turned to look at Batman, who had remained silent during the whole exchange. If they hadn’t known him so well they would have thought him unaffected, but the tightening around his mouth betrayed his agitation.
“There’s no use in pointless speculation until we have more data to work from,” he growled, “Oracle, look for any reports of a meta matching the target. Since our regular methods have failed to yield results, I will contact the JLD about running tests on the letter.” He turned to Drake, “Red Robin, see what you can find on recent League activities. If this is another scheme by Ra’s or Talia we need to know about it.”
“The last thing we need is more demon spawn running around!” Red Hood groaned over the comms.
Damian was furious. This was absurd! To even indulge the possibility that that creature was in any way related to him was making him feel like he had swallowed battery acid. He was the Demon’s Heir! He was not replaceable! There was only one thing to do.
“Robin? Stop!”
He ignored his Father’s shout. He stomped over to the lab table, snatched up the envelope and broke the seal.
Nothing happened.
He unfolded the paper and saw the same handwriting that had been on the outside.
Brother of blood, brother of soul
Never buried but already mourned
In lightning and ice the scorned child returned
To strike down the Demon’s Head
With all that Death earned
Damian’s hand shook. He reread the lines over and over again, refusing to comprehend. He could feel his Father standing behind him, scrutinising the letter as well.
“Son…”
Suddenly, the paper burst into green flames, going up into smoke that dissipated unnaturally quickly.
Silence reigned for a few moments. Then…
“Well that was needlessly melodramatic” Nightwing remarked.
Part 3
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Fascinated by the drawing luke shows vader in lego star wars.
(Close up still shot)
There's two suns (tatooine!! Hoo)
The suns are wearing sunglasses and also on the corner of the paper (relatable)
Luke's wearing his farmboy robes
Vader's mask is needlessly drawn too well
Meaning of this drawing is that Luke dreamed of having a father when he was a kid, and that didn't change even when he learned that darth vader was the father he yearned for
So he's showing his heart and also proposing a better future where they actually cultivate this kind of father son love
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Farmboy
I hate grocery shopping. Usually I make whatever dumb chick I'm seeing do that crap, but I'm between hoes right now. Hopefully the cashier is hot enough to flirt with.
Dragging the cart down the aisle, I almost run into a giant oaf studying a rows of cans. The guy is tall, fat, and severely sunburnt. I can tell he's got some impressive muscle beneath his chub; probably from all the labor he does on his farm. Wearing denim overalls and a straw hat, he's essentially a walking cliche.
"Hey move it, redneck," I snap.
"You have a problem with me, son?" he slowly turns and peers out from his dirty beard.
"Not you," I answer annoyedly, "Just your fat ass. Move it."
This guy has to be slow because he just doesn't seem to get it. Instead of getting out of my way, he takes lumbering steps towards me and grabs my cart with his meaty paws.
"Try again, son."
"Man, let me through already!" I roll my eyes, "Are you dumb or something? All I want to do is pass! Then you can get back to shoveling crap and humping cows, ok?"
The hulking farmer staggers towards me until his fat stomach almost bumps me over.
"You think I shovel crap and hump cows all day?" he quietly growls down at me.
"Sure. You probably sleep with the pigs too big guy," I add.
"That sounds more like something you would do, kid," he slowly retorts.
"Man, look at me," I cry, "Do I look like a filthy redneck?"
"Actually you do."
His response catches me off guard. I'd just wanted to get the shopping done, but now this guy is straight up lying to my face. No one could ever mistake me for a country bumpkin with my stylish hair and $300 sneakers.
"You look exactly like a farmboy," he continues to grumble, "Just take a look at your hands, kid. See how worn they are; how filthy they are. That's the sign of hard work right there."
I can't help but hold my hands out in front of me.
That can't be right! Just like he said, dirt and dust cover my palms all the way up my arms. They're somehow riddled with callouses even though I rarely used my hands for anything.
"What'd you-"
"And look at what you're wearing, kid," he keeps talking, "You've been tracking dirt all through the store with those boots."
"I have $300 sneakers..." I nervously glance down.
I almost scream when I don't see my favorite kicks. My shoes have somehow been replaced with big rubber boots. I don't even own a pair of these, and yet they cover my feet all the way up my shins. Like the farmer had said, they were caked with mud, and it looks like I had created a messy trail of footprints across the store.
"Stop," I beg quietly.
"Stop?" he laughs and each bellow echoes through the store, "I'm just getting started, kid. You haven't even looked in the mirror yet. You've got the same bib overalls I got on!"
I shudder and turn away, abandoning my cart to run through the store in my awkwardly huge boots. I need to find the nearest bathroom and fast. I can already feel my clothes changing and a pair of straps pulling at my shoulders.
Bursting into the restroom I stare at my reflection.
I'm wearing the same redneck outfit as that farmer freak! Before I start ripping the clothes off, the door slams open and the giant farmer lumbers in.
"Stop whatever it is you're doing to me!" I scream, "Give me my clothes back!"
"Why would I do that, kid," he asks, "You love this getup. You don't want those fancy city clothes anyway."
I cringe as the tall boots suddenly feel very comfortable on my feet. The straps of the overalls on my shoulders are all the sudden very comforting to me. God this thing stinks, but I feel a new kind of pride in that stench. It is after all my own smell. There's nothing wrong with reeking of hard work, right?
"That's it, kid," the big redneck pats my head with his dirty hand, "There's nothing you'd rather do than work on my farm, right?"
God, he's right. All that land, the animals, and solitude sound perfect. I would be happy to work on his farm.
"Alright farmboy, come with me."
I follow behind the giant as he marches out of the grocery store. I notice that the cashier is exceptionally cute when we pass, but a pretty girl like that has no interest in me. She cringes at my smell. Girl probably can't handle the smell of a real man.
Back at the farmer's ranch, he leads me to the barn, and shows me inside.
"You'll live in here with the animals, kid," he explains, "I'll teach you the routine of feeding all them, but I have other chores for you to do right now."
The farmer hands me a shovel and bucket. Both things are covered in mud and who knows what else, but I don't mind. I already can guess what my job is.
"Picking up crap and humping cows, huh," he chuckles, remembering words I said a lifetime ago, "Well you can get started by shovelling all the crap. We'll see about the cows later."
"Awesome," I smile, happy he's already trusting me with his animals.
I get right to work, shovelling up the piles of dung. I can't help but smile with joy. This work just makes me so happy. I should probably keep my mouth closed though if I don't want any flies buzzing in, but I just can't help myself. Boy, am I glad I ran into the guy.
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Boss makes a dollar yadda yadda nine hour shift today SO here are the crumbs of a Fatui-centric Wild West AU I might hopefully one day actually do something with that isn’t daydreaming vividly
Pantalone: Initially made his fortune as an oil man, then opened the Northland Bank once his new social status had been secured. Carries two pistols on his person for any poor son of a bitch who tries to square up thinking he’s some sort of soft rich boy, or when debt collecting isn’t going as smoothly as he thought.
Dottore: His reputation as Il Dottore Corvo, a serial killer boogeyman who dissects and mutilates his victims beyond recognition, precedes him. He’s a travelling doctor though no one knows if he’s licensed, not that it matters because he knows his stuff anyways. He’s actually albino in this AU, so instead of his iconic mask, he wears tinted sunglasses to protect his eyes as well as a large hat.
Capitano: Town sheriff who’s never seen without his hat or the bandanna over his face. People talk about him the same way people used to talk about Chuck Norris in the 2000s-2010s (“he’s so tough he smokes gunpowder instead of tobacco!”) Rumour is he was the last man standing in his platoon, and his face was mutilated in the battle that killed his comrades. That’s why people sometimes call him Captain, it was his rank.
Childe: Farmboy with a violent streak who wants to be a rough and tough cowboy. Sort of living that dream while doing community service with the Sheriff as a punishment for shooting but not killing a certain oil man... Whether or not “that asshole’s had it coming a long time” is still debated. (He kind of did but no one wants to be the one to say it.)
That’s all for now. Will expand if not dead.
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Superman is an Anti-Vaxxer?! Chapter 1
Bruce and Clark are discussing their relationships next steps and how to handle the publicity that comes with being in a relationship with Bruce Wayne, when Clark worries about his past affecting Bruce's reputation.
Bruce thinks that's laughable, because how could farmboy turned reporter Clark Kent ruin debauched playboy Bruce Wayne's reputation.
Then Clark tells him something that Bruce never in a million years saw coming.
Superman is an anti-vaxxer.
Or, well, he's not in belief and ethics, but on paper?
Clark Kent is a documented anti-vaxxer with exemptions for himself from one's required for work, and most recently, a documented exemption for his son Connor from the one's required for school. Cited as being for religious beliefs and never questioned too hard before, which is good since they actually need it for impenetrable skin.
But now he's dating the CEO of the company that essentially runs healthcare in Gotham.
The Batfamily are told and make fun of Clark.
Like, a lot.
But also, they help with a plan and things work out both for Bruce and Clark's relationship and reputations.
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Okay, but little vampire!Bruce, who saw his parents get brutally killed by humans, and religion and torches. Who, terrified, decides to retire from society to this old mansion with his butler, and for years he trains to be stronger and prepared in case he is attacked again, and generaly distrust and hates humans.
Vampire Bruce who years later still adopts little vampire!Dick and Jason who had also been abused by humans, and are on the verge of death. Who teaches them how cruel and evil human can be, how they can never trust them, and how to defend themselves.
And then, one day, little Dick mets Clark, the farmboy on the nearby mountain.
At first it's just curiosity. Dick sneaks out to assess the enemy, but Clarks keeps doing interesting thing and Dicks is a noisy boy. Eventually Clark finds about the little gremlin spying on him, and thinking he is just some boy from the village, he decides to gain his trust with treats, and by letting him pet Krypto. Dick is still distrusting thanks to his past and Bruce teachings, but eventually, they warm up to one another.
The problem is that Dick keeps sneaking out more and more, and eventually Bruce follow him and finds out what he has his son so fascinated. Hell breaks lose when he finds out. Dick is grounded for the rest of eternity, and Bruce goes on overprotective mode for several weeks, screaming at them, and watching over them, and even little Jason starts to get terrified.
Dick however doesn't give up, he likes Clark and keeps on defending the guy and throwing tantrums so he can go see him again. The drama escalates to the point that Bruce decides to pay a visit to the human to prove a point to Dick.
A day latter he sneaks upon Clark in full vampire regalia. He is coming out of shadows, his eyes are glowing red, he is prowling menacing towards him, and his expresión is terrifying. A nightmare come alive to prove a point.
And of course the farmboy screams terrified at his aparition, and punches him right in his face.
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Also like, I'm pretty sure we're supposed to read it as tragically naive that Akemi thinks her dad's going to pass up marrying her to the Shogun's' son just because this farmboy samurai redeems himself after an embarrassing defeat in a duel, right?
Like, alliance to the supreme warlord is basically winning feudal marriage politics. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy who'll pass that up.
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fic rec friday 25
welcome to the twenty-fifth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.
1. ladies and gentlemen we are rocking in space by @mayerwien
LANCE
do u like the taste of spam, van kieu
because thats what ull get
1 glorious terabyte of def-not-garrison-approved viewing matl
every hour on d hour
KEITH
And now you’re blackmailing me. Wonderful.
Look, I’ll tell you, alright?
Not because your threat scares me, but because I’d like to cut this conversation as short as humanly possible.
LANCE
glad ur being so cooperative ;) ;)
--
Lance gets a new flight simulation partner. Lance makes a bunch of mixtapes. Lance falls in love?
Galaxy Garrison + texting au. For the Klance Zine!
i can confidently say, in my 6+ years of being a klance stan, i have never seen anything like this before or since. this fic is AMAZING. completely new idea, hilarious, sweet, and totally untouchable. i’ve always love testing fics that are done right (bc theyre always funny), and does this one ever knock it out of the park! the dynamics are amazing and the rivalry is EXQUISITE. bonus of vietnamese keith and filipino lance, and this one line (it’s a spoiler so im not going to put it here) that actually knocked me out of the water. its about the CHOICE.
2. But You’ll Peek Through by Barkour
It's weird, the things you get used to when you've been stuck in space for years. How much you miss home. Socializing regularly with only six people. No wifi. Your cranky boyfriend.
this is one of the earliest vld fics ever written, and it has a CROWN idk. this fic makes me feel so many emotions all at once. like i miss u 2016 fic i miss u keith gyeong i miss u bitchy klance i miss u early voltron found family dynamic i miss u old lance’s family headcanons i miss u bamf team. rip to the earliest voltron fandom
(also. how did this author know about romelle. in 2016.)
3. Pull Me Closer by @thewriter2
An ancient power dwells in Lance’s very bones. It hums a sweet song of the sea in Lance’s ear, calling him to the water. Keith’s bones are on fire as the very spirit of the flame lives in him. However, it’s these ancient powers that begin to pull them together; that shows them how to properly balance each other out
i SEARCHED for this fic. i made half my followers search with me too. this fic is bamf lance to the fucking max, and its AMAZING. how many of you have wanted waterbender lance so badly you could barely speak? firebender keith? if u said u didnt then ur lying. this fic has literally everything you could ask for in a canon divergence
4. The Homestead by @devooshawrites
Keith is hired for the summer to work on the farm of the McClain family. He and the youngest son of the family become good friends, though Keith might want more.
i am so fucking in love with aus like this. cowboy or farmboy where theyre quietly in love in their own bubble of the world?? i cannot get enough of them. i would read a million of them. this fic in particular is SO soft and tender, it is so so important to me. ive read it so many times. its one of those fics that brings a smile to your face that u literally cannot fight back
5. Prince Charming by @taylortot
Lance thinks that Prince Keith is just another stuck-up royal with an attitude problem until they spend some time together outside of the palace and he discovers that he couldn't have been more wrong.
Written for The First of Forever Zine!
this fic is SO tender it is sickeningly sweet. “rivals” to friends to lovers is so special to me, and no one does it like taylortot fr. love is stored in the tender moments away
that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!
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Do you think it’s a common thing in the fandom (especially when writing fan-works featuring the Skywalker Father-Son Duo(TM)) to give Anakin a lot of Luke’s more noble and good attributes and act like he’s been like that the whole time, and give Luke some of Anakin’s worse attributes to make Anakin seem more centrist compared canon Luke and the “old Jedi” (quotes used ironically)?
Cause as a kid I loved Anakin for many of the reasons I now realize don’t apply to him at all, and moreso apply to Luke, and it’s really getting irritating to look up cool Luke fic and realize that this has been done to ma boi. What do you think?
I gotta be honest, I don't think I read enough fics with that dynamic in it to be able to say with any degree of certainty whether that's true or not.
What I will say is that I think fic writers who like Anakin tend to smooth him out a LOT and, yes, give him traits that are more applicable to other characters in order to make him likable. And in fairness, that's exactly what TCW did as well by effectively just giving him Obi-Wan's personality and erasing some of his less likable characteristics from the films.
Because Anakin is... a difficult character in many ways. The core of him is fear, so there's a tendency to want to sympathize with him, but what gets ignored is that Anakin is 1000% a fascist by AOTC, someone who can and will let himself be filled with enough anger to commit a massacre of an entire village down to the last child, and someone who is perfectly fine with pressuring a woman into a relationship with him. None of that is necessarily fun to write and it's hard to write Anakin as a sympathetic character if those things are kept in mind. So they just get... smoothed away. He's not REALLY a fascist, he's just confused or brainwashed and one good conversation with someone can completely fix that little problem. Anakin isn't pressuring Padme, he just could tell that she was into him and he TOTALLY would back off if Padme said no. The Tuskens deserved it anyway! So on and so forth.
Luke, by contrast, is a very easy character. There's a reason he gets labeled "sunshine boy" by the fandom and his struggles with anger get sort-of... forgotten and overlooked in favor of just seeing him as this easy, likable, charming farmboy. He's sweet and honorable and passionate. He IS a lot like Anakin in many ways, and that's deliberate. Fandom has taken a turn recently towards wanting Leia to be like Anakin and Luke to be like Padme, and there's reasons to make that comparison, but Luke's similarities to Anakin are very deliberately there in the narrative for a reason. Luke has to struggle with anger and fear and be filled with righteous passion because that's exactly what Anakin struggled with and Luke's ability to overcome that in a way Anakin never could is what makes the entire story interesting and meaningful.
Luke also is one of those characters who tends to get handed the "grey Jedi" label which tends to lead to Luke choosing to look down on the Prequels Jedi and decreeing that attachments are totally fine actually and HIS Jedi aren't going to be repressed anymore blah blah blah. And this does come from fans who have fallen into the fandom osmosis hole of "the Prequels are about the Jedi's failure" and have twisted the entire Skywalker Saga around that theory, including Luke's journey. And part of that theory tends to be a lot more sympathetic towards Anakin, as well. If only the Jedi had been more understanding and less oppressive, Anakin wouldn't have fallen. So it's not shocking that fans who are writing from that perspective are going to make Anakin seem softer and more sympathetic.
So yeah, sure, it's entirely possible that some fic writers are choosing to give Anakin more of Luke's nobler characteristics in order to help smooth him out and make him easier to like, while giving Luke some of Anakin's more arrogant or dismissive traits in order to make those traits seem more "centrist." I don't think it's something that ONLY happens with Luke and Anakin, though. Like I said, TCW gave Anakin most of Obi-Wan's traits and then tossed a few of Anakin's onto Obi-Wan, as well. I think you could make an argument that we're seeing some of that happen with Ahsoka, too.
I wish I could offer you some Luke fic recs, so instead I will simply say I hope you find some good ones that feel like they're more in character!
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Link: Dear Younger Me, It's Not Your Fault
Summary: Damian gets blasted into a future where he's living his best life, and not to mention married. He doesn't think he deserves any of it. Future Damian and Jon help his think otherwise.
for super sons week bonus day 2: Magic and Mayhem
“Aw, I almost forgot how cute you were as a little kid, Dami! I just wanna squish his cheeks-”
“Tt, control yourself, Jonathan, if he’s as old as I think he is, he will not hesitate to chop your arm off if you so much as breathe in his direction.”
The child’s head was swimming, the two voices muffled as if he were underwater. He had a vague memory of being set on a bed, warm blue eyes setting him down and startled green hues tucking him in with the blanket still currently wrapped around him.
Instinctively, his hand went to the knife that was usually on the side of his hip. He grimaced as he realized even his most hidden weapons had been taken.
Mother would be so ashamed of him, if she were to learn that he had been taken in so easily, not to mention the failure of hiding weapons.
He sat up, struggling a bit, but managing to open his eyes, squinting as they adjusted to the light.
He was in a room, the bed set in front of a fireplace. The walls were beige, accents of gold and deep green painted along the sides. It was then he took notice of the figure in front of him. He blamed his disorientated brain on missing the key factors of the room.
(“Excuses.” Grandfather would spit.)
The person (?) was draped in a color matching the forest of the walls, poking the fire and making it leap to life.
Spotting a pair of scissors left on the bedside table, he carefully picked them up, moving to get up and sneak towards the figure.
“I know you’re awake.” The voice seemed more amused than dangerous, a discreet accent in the words.
The child startled, pushing the covers off and pointing the scissors at the person.
“Where am I? Who are you?”
He got his answer as the person stood, turning to face the child. He wore an outfit similar to a thawb, deep green with gold accents. There was a gold cuff earring on his left ear, covering it and connecting to a dangling chain in his lobe. His skin was a caramel tone, tanned and weathered through the years. His hair was a soft brown, brushed but without gel. The eyes that met his held pain and trauma behind them, but were kind.
(Kinder than his, he thought to himself bitterly.)
“You are safe here, please refrain from stabbing me with the scissors, although I doubt it would be an easy task.”
Damian opened his mouth to speak, but was immediately cut off.
‘’I assume you’ve already come to the conclusion that this is the future, and please be assured that we are working to send you back to your own time. You will most likely have all memories of this visit erased from your mind, therefore I will tell you that you are in my house, and the only other person is my partner, who is in the kitchen at the moment.”
His older counterpart moved to sit on the bed, and the younger scowled.
“I expected us to be taller.” were the first words out of his mouth.
The older one snickered, muffling his laughter with a hand to his mouth.
“Well, so did I. It's both hard and useful, you’ll get over it in due time, I promise.”
The door was kicked open, a much taller man carrying a tray with tea and toast on it. Both looked over in surprise, the smaller Damian immediately launching the pair of scissors at him.
To his surprise and Older Damian’s amusement, it bounced off his skin, bending as it did so and landing against the wall.
The raven-haired man grinned, dropping the tray on the bedside table.
“He’s so defensive and tiny!”
An angry flush came over his cheeks, but instead of a retort, he asked incredulously, “Kent??”
“Aww, we’re still in that stage!” Jon cooed. “He must have just met me.”
“Do not patronize me, Farmboy!” Younger Damian spat.
Jonn squealed again, making grabby hands. “Look at how absolutely adorable you were bossing me around!”
“Do try not to antagonize him, J.” The older one chided gently, eyes sparkling with fondness.
The child took immediate notice of this, picking up the relaxed postures, the way his older counterpart held such reverence for the other in a way he never thought possible for another human being.
Similarly, this future version watched the older with admiration as if he’d hung the moon and stars himself.
His arm flailed between the both, mouth opening and closing as if speaking but no words came out.
“You–we–him–us-”
Jon laughed aloud at the crisis the younger boy was having, shaking his head. “This is what went on when you finally realized?”
Both Damians scowled, the older one blushing a deep red.
The younger one seemed ready to scream. Both men tried to hide their hands behind their back, although not quick enough.
The child spotted the glint of the matching bands of gold the moment they moved, his eyes going wide as saucers.
“fi 'ayi ealam lan 'afeal mithl hadha alshay'?!” He began ranting in Arabic, pacing on the bed.
“I can’t believe you!” he finally declared, pointing at his counterpart as if he were accusing him of murder. “We married KENT?”
“Like it’s such a bad thing.” Jon put a hand to his heart, mock offended.
“Can it, Corncob! What did Father and Mother think?” He pauses in horror. “What did Grandfather think?”
“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Damian grabbed his hands, holding them tight as the younger one tried to wrench them away.
“He must have tried to have him killed…”
The younger was looking anywhere but the older ones. This was horrible, he was both Robin and a feared assassin, why, why, why was he on the verge of tears at the thought of any of this?
(Deep down, he knew why. This was the forbidden life he kept inside for himself under lock and key. He was a monster, a weapon, meant to take over the League and if not the league, his father’s mantle. He was not supposed to look this happy, have this life, marry someone who was too pure for the world he was born into. Not someone who loved him, who looked at him with the knowledge of his past and still seemed to think he was capable of love.
Happiness….
That was never the plan.)
Jon watched the smaller version of his husband go through a hurricane of emotions all at once, emerald eyes shiny. He watched the internal panic and fear flit through a face too young to have such worries and felt a pang in his heart. One so strong because how many times did he watch his Damian go through that? The tears that should never have been shed, the panic and sleepless nights that should have been replaced with sweet dreams and laughter.
“It’s too nice,” The child finally rasped. “Too nice for me. How…how do I end up like you?”
He directed his question to his older counterpart, hands still trapped in his. The tears made his long eyelashes framing his eyes stick together.
“It’s all too good…for someone like me to have.”
The older one closed his eyes, inhaling deeply.
”It took me a long time, with a lot of help to banish the thoughts. Lots of help from different people. I…i can’t tell you anything that will make you believe me, because at this age, i would have been the same.”
“But I can tell you the absolute truth, and it’s that after everything we’ve gone through, and the challenges you have yet to face, we deserve everything that we’ve been given and much more.”
“You deserved a childhood with people who loved you and did not harm you or train you to death. And this future? This is what you deserve. We earned this future. You won’t remember this visit when you go back, but a part of you will know what I say is true.”
The boy sobbed suddenly, the three curling up on the bed and finding solace in one another.
Damian looked down at the paper in his hands. His counterpart shoving it in his hands and softly smiling was the only thing he remembered from his supposed blast to the future.
Dear younger me,
You deserve every good thing you get. None of the mess that is our life is your fault. Go on and make mistakes, give your heart a break, even if only for a moment. It will serve you well to make some friends too. Till we meet again, as your future self.
Yours,
Damian W.K.
The day after sending his counterpart into the portal, Damian was flooded with new, joyful memories, and a worn piece of paper with faded ink on the corner of his vanity’s mirror.
Absent-mindedly he wondered how long it took for the younger one to realize that the initials were a hint to his future after all.
@super-sons-week
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Luke Skywalker being Darth Vader’s son continues to be the funniest punchline of all time.
Like, you have Luke. Luke who grew up as a farmboy and is now a Jedi. Okay, that’s great. He’s powerful, but he doesn’t actually flaunt his power to try and scare people. He tries to intimidate people, occasionally, but always with his lightsaber, because he is the shortest human man in the series.
This is Darth Vader’s son! This is the son of the man who choked people just because he could! This is the offspring of the man who could defeat entire armies songlehandedly! Luke Skywalker is his son! Luke! Skywalker!
Luke Skywalker, who begins the series by making the very impulsive, reckless decision to save a woman he has never met and does not know, simply because he got irrationally attached to her after seeing the message she sent to someone other than him! Luke Skywalker, whose plans almost always go:
Step One: run in
Step Two: ???
Step Three: profit
Like, Mara finding out Luke Skywalker is Darth Vader’s son is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. She has threatened to murder this man innumerous times, and he continues to trust her and even save her life! He praises her for getting impatient and stabbing something because she multitasked! He says “I’m going to comfort my droid” and then literally actually comforts his droid! And this! This is the man Darth Vader somehow fathered!
Any character finding out is literally so fucking funny! When he tells Leia, she’s immediately like “No! You don’t have to face your father! You can run! Why would you want to face your father??? He cut off your hand!!!” The Noghri who meet Luke and find out he is the son of Lord Vader only believe him because they can smell it. Otherwise, with how chill he is, I wouldn’t believe him either!
What was Han’s reaction? Lando’s? Chewbacca’s?? I want to see literally everyone react to the fact that the tiny wizard boy is the son of one of the most prolific killers in the entire galaxy! It’s! So! Comedic!
Imagine Ahsoka’s reaction??? Rex’s??? Din’s??? Like, no matter what character you imagine, it is impossibly funny to imagine how they would react to the news!
TLDR: Luke’s parentage is the funniest joke in the entire galaxy and you canNOT convince me otherwise
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I don’t know if you’re still taking these asks but i can never get enough of your writing and hcs and stuff aaaa but ok I was just thinking, so one time Damian and Jon are both in a cozy kitchen maybe babysitting or at the Kent’s farm and Jon has to attend some school dance or daily planet event and he has to slow dance but has no idea how so Damian offers to teach him (of course he knows how to ballroom dance he’s not a fiend) and they’re just.. slow dancing and Jon is one second away from confessing because his best friend looks so stunning and Damian cannot believe he’s allowed this ???
I’m always accepting asks! They make me so happy :3
But oh man, they’re like out in the barn doing chores and Jon just off hand mentions it and that hes not a great dancer so he hopes he doesnt embarrass his family and Damian just drops what he’s doing and holds his hands out. ‘You’re not going to be best friends with a Wayne family member and not be taught how to dance.
And not just dance - but waltz. And not only that but Damian hums a tune as they go, making up a beautiful melody on the spot. And it’s golden hour and Damian is just stunning as he’s focused and relaxed and Jon is about to BURST but it’s a SECRET and Damian CAN’T KNOW.
Because the son of two mega dynasties deserves better than just some half-breed farmboy, right? 🥲
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i'm having so many feelings about alm + berkut // literally no one asked
i'm having to many feelings about alm and berkut. they are my sons, baby boy baby, sweet children of mine. i want to wrap them up in blankets and give them hot chocolate and a place to scream their troubles and be heard.
thoughts under the cut because this got long.
one of the things that stick out to me the most about alm is how responsibility is thrust upon the poor kid. he knows he's getting into a war, he knows what a war with rigel will bring. he knows how the people suffer, and how something must be done, and the only way to do that is by a war. in order for any change to happen, sometimes force is the only path. he needs to throw off the yoke of the old gods and let the people live by their own hands, he needs to stop the suffering, and if it is war that will do that, then so be it.
alm has responsibility thrust upon him, when all he's really stated before is how he wants to help the people, and that's practically it. he doesn't necessarily want to wage war. i've read a really good fic outlining to celica (through lukas) how, "if there were another peaceful solution, alm's sword would be first on the pile", and i genuinely think this is true. the boy has been only taught the practical skills (combat, strategy, weather and terrain, etc) and not the finer points of leading. he acknowledges how much he has to learn when he prepares to right back against rigel, sure, and he does learn to lead, but as the quote in hamilton goes, "dying is easy, young man, but leading is harder."
when clive comes to him and just makes him leader, he practically says "hey wait are you sure this is a good idea??" and even later, everyone assumes he's gonna be king at the end of the war
and it hurts, because if you think about it, he's never been taught how to handle the court, how to handle nobility, any of this high aristocracy bullshit. and celica's right. he has no idea how the hell any of this works. he says he's not a farmboy, but he is. he's a country bumpkin from the southern most tip of zofia, hailing from a truly backwater village.
and sure, he has celica to rely on, and clive to rely on, and mycen to rely on. he's forgiven celica already since their fight, and loves her. but she's right. and clive just thrust the title of "leader of the deliverance" and later "king of valentia" onto him. and mycen, mycen isn't truly his grandfather, and all the man does is chide alm for every single decision he makes since leaving the village.
and it's not fair!! it's wholly unfair and sad and painful to think of how alm must step up to the mantle that was pushed upon him. mycen was right. "once you march on Rigel, you place yourself in the hands of destiny. You won’t be able to stop the events that unfold. No one will wish you well. Many will even try to stop you; unexpected tragedy is sure to follow. That is the price of what you are about to undertake." and he's right, and alm said he was ready for it, but even so!!
"and what of my peace?!" he screams to the uncaring world. "what of my personhood?!"
and the world keeps turning on its axis, cold and unchanging as the rigel winter.
"this is not the time for mourning or self-pity, boy." the world tells him. "you cannot be a person, for you are the leader, and leaders must make sacrifices."
and this theme, this arc of alm's fits incredibly well with berkut's. it fits so well and i'm so incredibly sad.
because berkut... berkut was a gentle child. according to the valentia accordion, he was so timid that even riding a horse could make him cry. berkut, being the nephew to the emperor, being in line to the throne only because his father's brother is the emperor, who has no children... he has never was supposed to become emperor in the first place, either. his worldview is deeply shaped by rigel's culture, by how "a prince of rigel cannot possibly be weak". i've discussed this before, about how berkut is an unfortunate product of his upbringing.
but it hurts. it hurts how, no matter what he does, he can't ever be recognised for his accomplishments, that he fails so horribly to a farmboy- a zofian country bumpkin, a weak soldier compared to him- that the only person he has to look up to (much like alm, as mycen keeps ripping him apart, and clive only wants him to lead and also tells him off throughout the story, and celica, who's an entire ocean mass away) finds him a disgrace and leaves him out to dry, because he's simply not good enough, not even when he's been forced to walk this path.
"uncle!!" he screams to the retreating figure of the red-clad emperor. "please tell me i am good enough for you!! please tell me my own pain wasn't for nothing!"
and the silence is deafening, just like crackle of flames that drown out even the cries of the one thing he truly cared for most.
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While the writers keep playing us, here are some future plots to consider after robert comes back (ryan HAS to comeback at this point ok? i wont accept anything else):
Post-prison Denial - Aaron cannot forgive Robert or accept that he is back; he shifts the blame for Liv's death from Chas to Robert because Robert LEFT THEM
Post-prison Blues - Robert deals with his PTSD badly which engages Aaron's redemption arc; he stays by Robert's side and helps him through it
Reunion 3.0 / Seb's return - Robert gets access to Seb (he comes to some sort of agreement with Rebecca or something happens to her offscreen whatever) and seeing Rob and Seb (their son!!) together in the village destroys any willpower Aaron still had to fight against his feelings for Robert
Wedding 3.0 - this needs no explanation
Surrogacy 2.0 - i dont actually mind them going there again if only to get them their Sugden-Dingle daughter
The Return of Andy Sugden - everything is going well for Robert and Aaron but Andy's return shakes things up; the farmboy that Jack Sugden caught Robert with back in the day is working with Andy now; so we get jealousy and misunderstandings and high drama in the Still-Madly-In-Love-Husband front (because that's Aaron innit) and Robert finally tells Vic and Andy about what happened with his dad when he was young.
Teen Seb Comes to Stay - Seb decides he wants to live with his dads at the village permanently (rewashed Liv plot i know but im making it easy for them!!) there are issues with his little sister at first but they get quickly resolved. Seb and his auntie Eve become thick as thieves and become the village nightmares
The Return of Adam Barton - because Aaron needs his mate back at some point and I doubt Vic will settle with anyone else ever
Robron vs Caleb - this just seems like it would be fun idk. it could have something to do with Seb because he is just like his dads and finds trouble everywhere which Robert and Aaron always have to solve in the end
Robert vs Kim&Andy - at this point in my AU Andy is with Kim (romantically or as business partners idc) because it serves the purpose of killing two birds with one stone so that Robert can finally FINALLY win back Home Farm
Robert Sugden's Regression - being in charge of Home Farm ofc changes Robert a bit and he starts to become the thing he fears most: his father. Cue him pushing his children and Aaron to the breaking point until, in true soap-fashion, they break up again. The kids split too. Aaron takes their daughter and Seb stays with Robert. And this ofc leads to:
The Parent Trap: Robron Edition - Seb and his sister plot to get their dads back together through a series of funny shenanigans, but then one of them gets seriously hurt in an accident (they should watch out for those evil farm animals amirite? or was it another drunk driver? only the soap gods know) so all the progress they made crumbles. Aaron and Robert blame each other and seem broken up for good
The Biggest Mugs In The World - Aaron and Robert try to prove to themselves and their kids that they dont want anything to do with each other but every time Aaron sends Robert his divorce papers Robert 'misplaces them' until Aaron finds out Robert has been ripping them apart and chucking them into his fancy fireplace. They fight about Robert being a control freak and Aaron a jealous queen, because every person Robert has flirted with since they separated has ended up fleeing the village with their tail tucked between their legs (Aaron made sure of it). This goes on until they have angry make up sex and then hate themselves for it.
Reunion 4.0 - *PROBLEMATIC PLOT ALERT* Seb and Eve become romantically involved and try to hide it from their families (aunt and nephew fits the Dingle lore somehow lmao). When they are found out Robert goes apeshit and casts Seb out of the village (like his dad did to him once) but he and Seb are at The Layby and before Robert can make the biggest mistake of his life, the love of his life arrives just in time to stop him. Robert realizes what he has become and decides to leave Emmerdale himself (after all, he was always the disaster, the one unable to make anybody happy, he should have never comeback etc) but Aaron won't have it. They can't live without each other, and that fact has never been clearer than at that very moment (shot to a teary-eyed Seb behind Aaron). Robert begs for forgiveness and Aaron just scoffs because forgiving Robert is the easiest thing in the world. They had promised each other messed up forever, had they not?
You know. I know.
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