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#he’s supposedly Fred’s ‘uncle’
coraniaid · 7 months
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Couple more Jenny thoughts before, like the show itself, I forget all about her and never mention her again:
1. There’s a popular claim online – one which, unlike a lot of claims about the show’s “original plan”, I think actually is grounded in something the show’s creators have said – to the effect that it was originally going to be Oz, not Jenny, who was killed off in Passion.  To be frank, this sounds pretty unbelievable to me: I just don't see anything in the text to support it. And after knowing the fate of Kendra and Harmony and Joyce and Tara and Cordelia and Anya and Fred, does it sound credible to you?
That being said, in an alternate reality where Jenny did survive Season 2, it seems likely – given Robia Scott’s reported religious conversion in the summer of 1998 – that she’d have probably ended up being written out of the show anyway.   And even if not, I don’t think it’s particularly likely the writers would have ever found anything interesting to do with her.  I think what we got is (unfortuately) probably about as good as we were ever going to get.
2. I think what frustrates me so much about this season's handling of Jenny Calendar is that it would just have been so easy to fix it all with a little care.  This season gave Giles a somewhat murky past and a history he’s ashamed of and it worked out fine.  In theory, establishing some sort of connection between Jenny and one of Angel’s past victims could have been a really interesting choice. It could have been tied into her death in a meaningful and tragic way.  If, that is, the show cared enough about Jenny to explore it.  But as it is, the “Janna of the Kalderash” retcon adds literally nothing to the story, other than adding a brief surprise twist and a bit of extra racism and giving the Scoobies an excuse to be awkward around Jenny before she dies.  You could cut out “Uncle Enyos” entirely, throw in a quick scene where Jenny goes online to find out about the loophole in the curse, and practically everything else stays the same.
Apart from not knowing (or caring) enough to give any depth to Jenny’s supposed Romani backstory, the show’s writers never seem to decide if they want Jenny to be an innocent victim who did nothing wrong or a traitor who was murdered just before she could properly redeem herself.  I almost think Passion would work better if Jenny had known what would happen if Buffy and Angel slept together.  At least then there’d be a reason to freeze her out.  But, on the other hand, a Jenny who did know would have had literally no reason not to tell them.  (Neither Jenny nor Enyos wanted the curse to be broken, after all! That is literally the thing they are in Sunnydale to stop from happening.)  So while Passion might have been improved I don’t know if the season as a whole would have been.
3. Although Jenny really isn’t talked about much at all after Season 2, and never after the halfway point of Season 3, it’s popular in fandom circles to argue that her death still had a big impact on the Scoobies, on Willow and on Giles in particular.  (Similarly, skipping ahead a little, it’s a popular fandom reading to suggest that Kendra’s death had a much bigger impact on Buffy than what we see on screen.)  
The basic idea is that Willow’s growing interest in magic can be seen as an attempt to take over the role of Jenny as the group’s resident “technopagan” and magic expert, in the same way she takes over her role as computer science teacher for the rest of this season.  Meanwhile, Giles is supposedly so hurt by Jenny’s death that he never forms a serious romantic relationship with anybody else again.  More generally, nobody ever brings Jenny’s name up in conversation because it’s just too sensitive – it’s almost a taboo topic.  Only when things are very heated, like during the argument in Revelations, will somebody particularly lacking in tact (meaning: Xander) dare to bring her up.
I quite like these fan readings myself – in some sense, I’d like to think that Jenny mattered, that her memory is still important years after her death – but I think it’s giving the writers far too much credit to assume this is how the viewers were actually meant to read things.  
I think the simplest explanation is that Jenny isn’t talked about much after Season 2 for the same reason Jesse isn’t talked about at all after The Harvest. For the same reason Cordelia isn’t talked about much after she leaves for Angel, and Oz isn’t after he’s written out in Season 4.  The writers don’t want to alienate viewers who have forgotten her, or who only started watching the show after she died.  In fact, a lot of the writers who worked on the show from Season 4 onwards only joined the writing team after Jenny died.  I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them had completely forgotten about her. 
Giles doesn’t get a new romantic partner because the cast starts getting too big (and because the writers were too cowardly to pair him up with Ethan).  Crucially, this isn’t for lack of trying on Giles’s part: in Season 4, we see him get a new “orgasm friend” in the form of Olivia Williams, and while things don’t work out between them that’s not because of any reluctance on Giles’s side. I find it hard to reconcile Olivia with the idea Giles is still deeply grieving Jenny.
As for Willow … well, she obviously takes Jenny’s death hard in Passion, and it’s definitely easy to headcanon her interest in magic during the summer Buffy’s missing as an attempt to try to get closer to the memory of Jenny Calendar.  I really don’t think there’s much textual support for it though.  If she was trying to be like Ms. Calendar, wouldn’t she want to keep up the computer science side of things as well, instead of abandoing computers for magic?  And, as I said a bit earlier in my rewatch, I just don’t think Jenny actually ever did fill this sort of magic/technopagan role in the group.  After Season 1, the writers mostly ignored that part of her character.  (She starts getting into magic again only after the “Janna” retcon, and Passion links the two aspects of her character pretty strongly by having the magic store owner talk about knowing her uncle.)
But yeah, canon or not, it’s nice to imagine that Jenny mattered.  That the show and its characters didn’t just forget all about her a few episodes after her death.  I think she deserved that much.
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pierregazly · 6 months
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just thinking about pear arriving on the paddock with his two demons. they go through security and while pierre is making sure he has everything he looks down to where girl twin was standing and she’s just fucking gone. he panics and starts running around with boy twin on his hip trying to find the other half of his kids.
meanwhile girl twin has somehow made it all the way to the ferarri garage because she went looking for charles after seeing a ferarri employee making their way to where charles supposedly is. she doesnt find charlie right away but is caught by fred who is the person who calls pierre to come pick up the little spy he sent to learn ferrari secrets.
girl twin is a menace
dont get me wrong both of the twins are menaces, but girl twin especially
☕️
no but this made my morning.
girl twin would know ferrari red means uncle cha which means desserts that papa and maman dont give her which automatically means she has to follow the man wearing red, she doesn't think about the fact maman has told her multiple times to not wander off from papa.
boy twin probably would've waved as girl twin ran away, his head just falling onto pear's shoulders as he runs around frantically trying to figure out where his small child who can't move that fast went????
(fred would also mention to pear that the little spy can come back whenever she wants for as many italian desserts as she can stomach as long as it's ferrari red and not alpine colours she's wearing)
girl twin also behaves identical to how young pierre did so he knows this is payback for what he did to his own maman
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papermoonloveslucy · 7 months
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LUCY AT THE JUNCTION
"Petticoat Junction" and The Lucycoms
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Although thematically the shows created by Lucille Ball were worlds apart from the quaint antics in Hooterville's Shady Rest Hotel, there were artistic and creative commonalities that are worth discussing.
"Petticoat Junction" ran from 1963 to 1970, while "The Lucy Show" ran from 1962 to 1968, both on CBS TV. "Petticoat Junction" was filmed at General Service Studios, where "I Love Lucy" began filming until it moved to larger quarters.
Like Kate Bradley, Lucy Carmichael and Lucy Carter are widows raising teenage girls while trying also to earn a living, a popular trope of the 1960s and '70s.
To vary storylines, "I Love Lucy" added a dog and a baby, as did "Petticoat Junction." Animal trainer Frank Inn worked on both shows, as well as on "Here's Lucy."
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Both shows went from black and white to color in October 1965. Although "The Lucy Show" had filmed its second season in color, CBS declined to air it in color.
SHARING THE TYPEWRITER
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Writer Seaman Jacobs penned six episodes of "Petticoat Junction" in 1963-64 and three of "The Lucy Show" in 1967. Fred S. Fox co-wrote one of those episodes with Jacobs. Fox also wrote one 1965 episode of "Petticoat Junction." Fox's co-writer for that episode was Irving 'Iz' Elinson, who wrote a dozen episodes of "The Lucy Show."
SHARED CASTING
Their "Petticoat Junction" characters are in parentheses, followed by their Lucycom / Desilu credits.
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Bea Benadaret (Kate Bradley) first starred with Lucille Ball on her radio series "My Favorite Husband" (1948-1951), primarily as best friend Iris Atterbury. Benadaret was Ball's first choice to play Ethel Mertz on "I Love Lucy," but she was already contracted to play Blanche Morton on "The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show", another best friend character. Ball still managed to cast her as a one-off character, Miss Lewis, an elderly spinster, on season 1 of "I Love Lucy."
Edgar Buchanan (Uncle Joe Carson) appeared with Lucille Ball on a 1971 "Merv Griffin Show" saluting director George Marshall, for whom both worked. For Desilu, Buchanan appeared on a 1958 episode of "The Adventures of Jim Bowie" and a 1959 episode of their helicopter series "Whirlybirds".
Frank Cady (Sam Drucker) appeared for Desilu in "December Bride" (1956), "Westinghouse-Desilu Playhouse" (1959), "Guestward Ho!" (1961), "The Untouchables" (1962), "The Danny Thomas Show" (1960), "Glynis" (1963), and a 1963 unsold pilot titled "Swingin' Together."
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Charles Lane (Homer Bedloe) appeared in 7 films with Lucille Ball between 1933 and 1949. He was also heard on her radio show "My Favorite Husband". On "I Love Lucy," he played 4 characters and 2 more on "The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour." He was cast as banker Barnsdahl on "The Lucy Show," but was released after 4 episodes so that Ball could hire Gale Gordon. He went from Desilu to Hooterville.
Byron Foulger (Banker Guerney / Wendell Gibbs) first appeared with Lucille Ball in the Westinghouse industrial film Ellis in Freedomland (1952). On "I Love Lucy" he played the spokesman of The Friends of the Friendless in “Lucy’s Last Birthday” (ILL S2;E25) in 1953. in 1965′s “My Fair Lucy” (TLS S3;E20) he played henpecked husband Fred Dunbar.  Two years later, Foulger was back on “The Lucy Show” to play Mr. Trindle, owner of a jewelry store supposedly robbed by Lucy in “Lucy Meets the Law” (TLS S5;E19), his last appearance opposite Lucille Ball.  For Desilu, he was seen in "December Bride" (1957 & 1958) and "The Untouchables" (1959).
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Elvia Allman (Selma Plout / Gladys Stroud / Cora Watson) was heard with Lucille Ball on "My Favorite Husband" before playing the strident Candy Factory Forewoman on "I Love Lucy." Allman returned to the show as one of Minnie Finch’s neighbors in “Fan Magazine Interview” (ILL S3;E17) in 1954 and prim magazine reporter Nancy Graham in “The Homecoming” (ILL S5;E6) in 1955. She made two appearances on “The Lucy–Desi Comedy Hour“ - first as Ida Thompson, Westfield’s PTA director, then as Milton Berle's private secretary. Allman would also be seen on two episodes of “The Lucy Show" as a customer in a department store and the manager of an employment agency. Allman’s final screen appearance with Lucille Ball reunited her with Bob Hope: “Bringing Back Vaudeville” in 1971. For Desilu, Allman was seen on "December Bride" (1954-59), and "The Ann Sothern Show" (1958).
Kay E. Kuter (Newt Kiley) made an appearance in the 1970 TV movie Swing Out, Sweet Land with Jack Benny and Lucille Ball.  He was seen on "Here's Lucy" as a singing Canadian Mountie in 1971. For Desilu he was seen on "The Adventures of Jim Bowie" (1957 & 1958).
Jack Bannon (Roger Budd / 9 Others) was the real-life son of Bea Benadaret. He was briefly seen on "Here's Lucy" in 1971.
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Eddie Albert (Oliver Wendell Douglas) first co-starred with Lucille Ball in The Fuller Brush Girl (1950). Albert played himself on a 1973 episode of “Here’s Lucy” titled “Lucy Gives Eddie Albert the Old Song and Dance” (HL S6;E6). He also appeared with Ball on an episode of "The Carol Burnett Show" (1968). For Desilu, he appeared on "The Westinghouse-Desilu Playhouse" (1958) and "The Greatest Show on Earth" (1963).
Eva Gabor (Lisa Douglas) played romance novelist Eva Von Graunitz in “Lucy and Eva Gabor” (S1;E7) in 1968 as well as herself in a 1972 epsidoes set in a hospital room.
Hank Patterson (Fred Ziffel) appeared in an episode of the Desilu western "The Sheriff of Cochise" in 1957, "The Westinghouse-Desilu Playhouse" (1958), "Guestward Ho!" (1961), and "The Untouchables" (1960-1962).
Barbara Pepper (Doris - aka Ruthie - Ziffel) was a Goldwyn Girl with Lucille Ball making 6 films together and becoming good friends. On the list of possible actors to play Ethel Mertz, she was in 10 episodes of "I Love Lucy" as various characters.
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Roy Roberts (Norman Curtis / Game Warden Hughes) was first seen with Lucille Ball was in an uncredited role in Miss Grant Takes Richmond (1949). Roberts joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” at the start of season five, but not as the role he would become known for, bank president Mr. Cheever in 14 episodes, but as the Admiral in “Lucy and the Submarine” (TLS S5;E2) in September in 1966. Roberts returned to Lucille Ball Productions for 5 episodes of “Here’s Lucy.” For Desilu he appeared in a 1955 episode of "December Bride."
Paul Wilbur (Bert Smedley) played Mr. Wilbur, owner of the ice cream parlor, in "Lucy is a Soda Jerk" (1962). For Desilu, he was seen on a 1963 episode of "The Greatest Show on Earth."
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Parley Baer (Judge Madison / Judge Turner / 3 Others) did four episodes of the radio version of "Green Acres" “Grandby’s Green Acres” starring Bea Benadaret, a summer fill-in for Lucille Ball’s “My Favorite Husband.” Baer appeared in 2 episodes of "I Love Lucy," and 5 of "The Lucy Show." On “Here’s Lucy” he played Dr. Cunningham, Harry Carter’s psychiatrist. For Desilu he was seen in "Whirlybirds," "December Bride," and "Westinghouse-Desilu Playhouse."
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Olan Soule (Stanley Benson / 3 Others) played Little Ricky's doctor Dr. Gettelman on "I Love Lucy". For Desilu, he appeared on several episodes of "The Untouchables," "The Ann Sothern Show," and "December Bride."
Sarah Selby (Mrs. Frisby / Mrs. Grundy / 3 Others) was heard as Liz's mother on Lucy's radio show "My Favorite Husband." She played bachelorette Dorothy Cook on "I Love Lucy."
Barry Kelley (Sheriff Crandall / Hurley Feasel) played the Mayor of Bancroft on "The Lucy Show". For Desilu he appeared on "The Untouchables," "Whirlybirds," and "Westinghouse-Desilu Playhouse."
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Jonathan Hole (Hank Thackery / Mr. Bunce / Mr. Earnshaw) was in 3 episodes of "The Lucy Show" and 2 of "Here's Lucy." For Desilu he was seen in "The Adventures of Jim Bowie."
William O'Connell (Martin Evans / Mr. Agnew) was seen as a Beverly Hills hotel manager on "The Lucy Show" in 1967.
Herbie Faye (Jack Stewart / Doodles / 2 Others) was in a 1968 episode of “The Lucy Show.”  and 4 episodes of “Here’s Lucy”. Ball did a 1959 cameo on "Sergeant Bilko" on which he played Fender for 139 episodes. He also did an episode of "Mothers-in-Law" for Desi Arnaz.
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Shirley Mitchell (Mae Belle Jennings) became friends with Lucille Ball in the late 1940s when she was featured in 4 episodes of “My Favorite Husband.” Mitchell reunited with Lucille Ball on “I Love Lucy” playing Marion Strong, member of the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League.
Jean Vander Pyl (Agnes Frisby / Gladys Miller / Alice Tuttle) was heard with Bea Benadaret on Lucille Ball's radio show "My Favorite Husband." Benadaret and Vander Pyl voiced Wilma and Betty on "The Flintstones."
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Peter Leeds (Syd Sparks / Gus Clegg) was heard on “My Favorite Husband." On "I Love Lucy" he was the reporter questioning the Maharincess of Franistan in “The Publicity Agent” (ILL S1;E31). He starred with Lucy in the films The Long, Long Trailer (1953) and The Facts of Life (1960). Leeds also appeared in “Lucy and Bob Hope” (ILL S6;E1) as well as an episode of “Here’s Lucy” in 1971.
Hugh Beaumont (Donald Elliott / Ronnie Beackman) is best known as Ward Cleaver in "Leave it to Beaver," but also appeared uncredited in Du Barry Was a Lady (1943) starring Lucille Ball. For Desilu, he was seen in "Whirlybirds".
Hal Smith (Ben Miller / 2 Others) is probably best remembered as Otis Campbell, the town drunk, on “The Andy Griffith Show” (filmed at Desilu). He appeared with Lucille Ball in the 1963 film Critic’s Choice. He was seen on 3 episodes of "The Lucy Show" and 1 episode of “Here’s Lucy” in 1972.
Maxine Semon (Mabel Snark / Lena Fenwick) played a nurse on “I Love Lucy” in “Nursery School” (ILL S5;E9) then a Yankee Stadium spectator in "Lucy and Bob Hope" (1955). She was a Las Vegas chambermaid on "The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour".
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Benny Rubin (Chief Fleeteagle / 2 Others) played the Beverly Hills tour bus driver on "I Love Lucy." He was seen on 2 episodes of "The Lucy Show." For Desi Arnaz he was seen on "The Carol Channing Show." For Desilu, he was in "December Bride."
Lurene Tuttle (Adelaide Keane / Henrietta Greene / Mary Alice Perkins) played the outgoing president of The Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League in “The Club Election” (ILL S2;E19) in 1953.  
Burt Mustin (Grandpa Jenson) did 3 episodes of "The Lucy Show" and played a juror with Joan Rivers on "Here's Lucy."  Mustin played Uncle Jeff in Mame (1974).
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Gail Bonney (Mrs. Tomley / Mrs. Robinson / 1 Other) was seen in 2 1950 films featuring Lucille Ball.  She played mother of twins Mrs. Hudson in “The Amateur Hour,” (ILL S1;E14). She also did 1 episode of "The Lucy Show" and 1 episode of "Here's Lucy."  
Eve McVeagh (Miss Hammond) played Bert, Lucy Ricardo’s hairdresser, in “The Black Wig” (ILL S3;E26).  She also made an appearance as a store clerk on "Here's Lucy."
OTHERS FROM LUCYLAND WHO VISITED THE JUNCTION:
Rolfe Sedan, Frank Aletter, Milton Frome, Herb Vigran, Amzie Strickland, Ray Kellogg, Bob Jellison, Frank Wilcox, Eddie Quillan, Robert Carson, J. Pat O'Malley, Florence Lake, Ernest Truex, Dorothy Konrad, George O'Hanlon, Jack Collins, Ross Elliott, Iris Adrian, William Lanteau, Joi Lansing, Bernie Kopell, Lyle Talbot, Stanley Addams, Doris Packer, Don Brodie, Frank Nelson, Rich Little, Joan Blondell, Nancy Kulp, Sid Melton, Keith Andes, Hayden Rorke, Dick Patterson, Irwin Charrone, Rudy Vallee, Lloyd Corrigan, Jackie Joseph, and Barbara Morrison.
HOOTERVILLE & THE LUCVERSE
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There were several Lucycoms that took place aboard trains, but the most notable is "The Great Train Robbery" (1955). Lucy and Desi took a publicity photo in front of the infamous emergency break wearing crumpled conductors caps. On this trip, Frank Nelson played the conductor pushed to his limit by Lucy Ricardo, a role he reprised when Lucy Carmichael took the train to Washington DC in 1963.
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Coincidentally, Nelson appeared on "Petticoat Junction" in 1967, but not as a conductor, as the manager of the Flamingo Room in Springdale. He has the distinction of being the only actor to play two recurring characters (Freddy Fillmore and Ralph Ramsey) on "I Love Lucy."
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In "Joe Saves the Post Office" (1969), Joe, Janet and Bobbie Jo travel to Washington DC to talk to their Congressman. They end up meeting the President. At the time, the office was occupied by Richard M. Nixon, who is represented only by an extended hand for Joe to shake and he does not speak nor is he mentioned by name. In 1963's "Lucy Visits the White House", Lucy, Viv, and their scout troupe travel to Washington DC to present the President with a sugar cube White House. In this case, the episode mentions the President's name: John F. Kennedy. He has a few off screen lines at the end of the episode, voiced by Elliott Reid. In retrospect, both these episodes conjur unhappy memories. Kennedy was asassinated and Nixon resigned in scandal.
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Hooteville's train depot can best be compared to the whistle stop of Greenview in "Lucy Visits the White House" (1963). Greenview was a remote stop located somewhere between Danfield and DC.
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Bancroft, California, the small town featured in "Main Street USA" and "Lucy Puts Main Street on the Map" (1967) was a town somewhat bigger than Hooterville, but smaller than Pixley. Lucy and Mr. Mooney arrived there by train to save their main street from becoming a superhighway.
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Bancroft had a general store run by Doc Putnam. It featured a large red coffee grinder, just like Sam Drucker's general store in Hooterville.
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The Mayor Bancroft was played by Barry Kelley, who appeared on "Petticoat Junction" as Sheriff Crandall. Bancroft citizens included Burt Mustin, who played Grandpa Jenson in three 1968 episodes of "Petticoat Junction" and Hal Smith, who played Mr. Richardson / Ben Miller / Jug Gunderson on "Junction."
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During the series' last season, the character of Jerry Roberts was introduced as a possible boyfriend for Billie Jo - until she finds out he's already married. In real life, actors Greg Mullavey and Meredith McRae were man and wife. On "Here's Lucy," Lucie Arnaz's husband Phil Vandervoort was also part of the cast. Sadly, both marriages were short-lived.
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A railroad handcar was prominently featured in "Lucy Hunts Uranium" (1958) featuring Fred MacMurray. In Hooterville, it was generally manned by Homer Bedloe (Charles Lane), who was also featured as a Claims Officer in "Lucy Hunts Uranium." Also in the hour-long "Lucy-Desi" episode Bob Jellison plays a Las Vegas bellboy. In Hooterville, Jellison played a salesman in 1968 and Ben Miller in 1970, the 4th and final actor to play that role. That episode also featured Lucyverse performers Sarah Selby and Parley Baer. It was directed by Elliott Lewis, producer of "The Lucy Show" and Desi Arnaz's "Mothers-in-Law" as well as husband of Lucy sidekick Mary Jane Lewis.
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In 1969's "One of Our Chickens Are Missing" (S7; E4) of the final season, Hooterville is plagued by chicken thieves in the former of a biker gang. Harry Dean Stanton plays Ringo, who is 'saving up for a pillow'. Lucy and Viv also encounter biker gangs in a 1967 episode of "The Lucy Show" set on the notorious Sunset Strip.
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In 1969's "The Camping Trip" (S7;E5), the entire family packs up and goes camping in the woods. They go fishing and Uncle Joe comes face to face with a bear, "The Camping Trip" was also the title of a 1953 episode of "I Love Lucy" where Lucy and Ricky also go fishing. In "The Lucy Show's" "Lucy Becomes a Father" (1964) Lucy Carmichael also comes face to face with a bear.
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"Goodbye, Mr. Chimp" (S7;E12) introduces a chimpanzee to the Shady Rest. Uncle Joe buys the chimp as a gift for his infant niece. Two years earlier on "The Lucy Show," Lucy Carmichael also featured a chimp - actually three - in "Lucy The Babysitter". The popularity of chimpanzees on sitcoms can be attributed to The Marquis Chimps, the (non-human) stars of the sitcom “The Hathaways” (1961-62) in which a suburban couple kept three performing chimps as their children.
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The iconic Shady Rest Hotel is reminiscent of The Eagle Hotel, where Lucy and Ricky stayed in "The Marriage License" (1952). Running the Eagle Hotel are Mr. and Mrs. Willoughby (played by Irving Bacon and Elizabeth Patterson), who are reminiscent of Uncle Joe and Kate Bradley, who run the Shady Rest. In season one, Uncle Joe schemes to market the Shady Rest as a 'honeymoon hotel.'
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Richard Arlen and Charles 'Buddy' Rogers, the stars of the 1929 silent film Wings, the first film to win an Academy Award, were guest stars as themselves on both "Petticoat Junction" (1968) and "The Lucy Show" (1967). Both appearances revolved around their appearance in the film.
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The Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) was introduced in 1923 by the nephew of suffragette Susan B. Anthony. Thirty years later "I Love Lucy" tackled female equality, culminating in the boys insisting the girls pay their own dinner checks. In 1967 The National Organization for Women (NOW), pledged to fight tirelessly for the ratification of the ERA. On February 7, 1970, "Petticoat Junction" finally got around to the subject by inventing WITCH (Women In True Cultural Heritage) and having Billy Jo storm a barber shop in tailored suit. That same month, twenty NOW leaders disrupted hearings of the Senate Subcommittee on Constitutional Amendments, demanding the ERA be heard by the full Congress.
"Petticoat Junction" and "The Lucy Show" were both part of a DVD set titled The Best of Family TV.
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toffeechad · 9 months
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Since most of you voted the yes option, I think now's the time I'll show more info about my Spidersonas from Earth-2763! (Stuff related to TPOT 6 spoilers can be found in the bottom, you've been warned!)
Who are they, actually?
These characters are actually Pen, Eraser, Golf Ball, Tennis Ball, Fries, Puffball & TV from a popular internet show called Battle For Dream Island.
(they're basically meant to be born as sentient objects but uh i'm gonna exclude puffball because she's actually one of these specimens in goiky and is not based on an actual existing object, NOT EVEN BASED ON A POM-POM EITHER)
Where do they live in?
Goiky, in Earth-2763, of course. They live in an alternate universe of Battle For Dream Island where almost everything is the same, except there is a moment that takes place after TPOT 1 offscreen that shows the entirety of Are You Okay's team members suddenly getting their Spidey-Senses tingling. Another difference to this alternate universe is that it's also connected to other object shows such as Inanimate Insanity, ONE, AIB, BFTROR, Brawl Of The Objects, MOSS, TDOS, etc.
Do the team members other than Pen really have legal names? (specifically, Pen's legal name is confirmed to be Ben as shown in BFB 4)
Yep! Here's the list of actual names for the other team members!
Eraser - Edgar
Golf Ball - Gertrude
Tennis Ball - Tanner
Fries - Fred
Puffball - Priscilla
TV - Trevor
How did they get their powers?
The rest of the members were bitten by a radioactive bug, but TV was instead hijacked by a virus. TV also got extra eyes on his screen as a side effect from his virus that can be shown or hidden whenever he wants to.
When did they get their powers?
Somewhere between the aftermath of Tpot 1 and before Tpot 2.
Do they mature by losing their respective Uncle Ben?
No, but they do mature by witnessing eliminations and traumatic events in the current season they're competing in because recovery exists in their world. Eliminations count as their canon events, and after all, it shall not be allowed to be messed around with. Expect some team members progressively losing a part of their personalities as they mature once they get seperated until the end of TPOT.
So, here's an angsty canon event aftermath scenario that supposedly takes place in the same area where the Spider Society live in. After TPOT 6, Pen's proud with the amount of votes he had compared to everyone else until he was interrupted by someone that withnessed their own "canon event." It was Fries, who is along with his best friend, Puffball. He told Pen that he wasn't paying attention to how petrified and devastated he was in that so-called "unfair" elimination. Although Golf Ball approves Miguel O' Hara's philosophy of canon events such as eliminations and trauma as a method to discipline some of her team members for her dimension, both Tennis Ball and Eraser are quite concerned about this. Thus, that's how Fries and Puffball were the first batch of the crew to get canon events maturing their personalities. (Fries eventually loses his intentions of causing mischief as he's now more serious, emotionally strained and depressed, and Puffball eventually loses her self-indulgence as she's now moody, barely carefree and not selfish anymore. However, the duo will only have the urge to snap if they feel like they want to.)
Pros: they kinda behaved
Cons: they ain't even the same as themselves last time and their seperation from one another during TPOT 6 inflicted them with the canon event rizz
(OH WOE IS ME, SOMEONE TAKE THEM TO A THERAPY SESSION, PLEASE!)
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Does anyone in the group have disabilities?
Golf Ball and Tennis Ball are born with an armless disability, Puffball's basically a specimen in Goiky that is meant to be born limbless, but all of the team's members share the same mental disability that is Autism. (GOOD MORNING AUTISTIC SPIDERSONA NATION, RISE AND GRIND‼️)
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What does Flocculent Spider's icon actually look like?
It looks like this, and it's rainbow colored because of the inclusion of a holographic pattern on it. The spider icon of hers is located at the back of her mask. (If you're curious about what her mask looks like, you're gonna have to peek at that link I attached at the title of the post, right at the beginning of this.)
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Do they fight antagonists?
Of course! If there's a Spider-Man, then there's atleast gotta be an introduction to an antagonist! I'm probably planning to interpret Steve Cobs as Doc Ock in Earth-2763, but I haven't got any ideas for the rest of the other antagonists, so feel free to drop down suggestions for the concepts of the other antagonists of Earth-2763 if you like!
When was the first time they finally fought an antagonist?
At the day when the contestants and the hosts of BFDI & II had a reunion at Gelatin's Steakhouse while celebrating Gelatin's 10th birthday, someone seems to have destroyed a part of the steakhouse's wall... and he's actually targeting MePhone. It was Steve Cobs, aka the "Doc Ock" of Earth-2763. As it was finally the time for Golf Ball and her teammates to have an opportunity to fight crime, Golf Ball and her teammates eventually put on their masks and suits and proceeded to fight against Steve Cobs without any hesitation. After defeating Steve Cobs, TV wrangles Cobs up with a web that electrocutes on TV's command while Cobs is distracted and disturbed with Pen telling him a joke. As Pen mentions that he's "the one who knocks," TV then successfully electrocutes Cobs after his defeat. MePhone thanked Golf Ball along with her teammates for saving him from his reckoning, and then the rest of the contestants and hosts cheered for them. (friendly reminder that i actually suck at writing lmfao) Even if Golf Ball and her team are actual web-slinging heroes, they still prefer to do challenges normally to abide with challenge rules for some reason.
Fun fact: II Taco is actually uninvited to Gelatin's birthday
Even if Earth-2763 Fries is actually eliminated, is he still allowed to meet the Spider-Society though?
Yes, Two actually allowed him to meet the Spider Society whenever he wants to. However, Fries prefers to stay back inside the hotel atleast 2 weeks before another contest begins in his world for a fair reason. Same thing would apply to Earth-2763 Puffball as well.
Is there any instances of Earth-2763 Puffball having the colorful quills on her mask hidden?
Yes, she can retract her mask's quills whenever she wants. However, if she's pissed or battle-ready, her quills will extend! Example: Before she snaps, she hides her quills. Whenever she's ready to snap and be feisty, her quills extend in length.
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spacerockwriting · 7 months
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The Gallavich Disney Saga
Not done, but here are some Disney World bits from part 3 of my fic Soft Bitch. Thank you to all my lovelies who helped with the ideas. Almost every bit was used, or will be used. :)
Some notes: Franny goes by Finn. Idk what the fuck happened to Lip and Tami's other kid. Carl is chaos.
--
It takes a quick minute, but with Finn’s hair tied back into the usual ponytail, she beams, putting on a matching Hawaiian shirt, just like Mickey’s.
Ian comes out of the shower, q-tip in his ear. “God, there’s two of them.” He’s joking, but it still makes him laugh. Finn had insisted on wearing a matching one with Mickey, and Ian swears if she were to ever dye her hair black, she’d be a mini-Mick. Not so much in looks, but in personality.
“We’re here to wreck things up,” Finn says, grinning. She knows not to swear around the twins, especially with Ally being pretty repetitive. Around Ian and Mickey, she’s allowed, but not as much as they do.
--
Carl comes back from the bathrooms, staring straight at Finn and Mickey. “Shit,” he says, turning to Ian. “Aren’t gays supposed to be good at fashion and shit?”
Lip snorts, hiding his smirk.
“That’s a stereotype, Asshole,” Mickey snips. “Like cops supposedly being smart.”
--
“My waffles,” Finn says, rather dramatically. “You’re freaking them out by being gross.”
--
“Good job, Kid.”  He plops the hat on Ally’s head. He looks down at Monnie and over at Ian. “If I’m getting a hat, so are you.”
“We should get matching ones,” Ian tells Mickey.
Mickey snorts. “That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“C’mon, Mick.”
“None of that girly shit.”
“Okay.”
“I pick ‘em out.”
“Okay,” Ian agrees.
...
“So now I’ve got two of these hats,” Mickey says, scowling. “And a dumbass husband.”
“Look at the festive family!” Tami says, finding Ian and Mickey in the shop. “You’ve got matching ones? I’m trying to get Lip to just get one.”
“So you’re that couple now,” Lip deadpans.
“I like my husband.”
“I think they were always that couple,” Liam adds.
--
“Hey Little Man, you look cool.” He holds his fist out to Ally who just blinks in confusion. “Think I’m going to get Toy Story so I can tell people I got a woody and that there’s a snake in my boot.”
Liam puts that hat back. “That’s one childhood movie that has now been ruined. “
--
“Can we get Uncle Lip a princess hat?” Finn smirks.
“Hell yeah we can.” Tami smirks.
“Uncle Lip’s my favorite princess,” Finn says, grinning at Mickey.
--
Out of what felt like nowhere, Carl emerges with Liam. Liam shakes his head. “I think driving with Carl is a deathwish.”
“Shit,” Mickeys says, adjusting his hat. “I think Finn’s got a knack for runaway cars.”
Lip gets out of line and shakes his head. “Drive with Fred. Won’t go above what, two miles?”
“Okay,” Ian says. He’s smirking. “C’mon, Lip,” Ian says, dragging his brother’s hand. “We’re going to go on the teacups until we puke.”
“Ian, are you fucking serious?”
“You promised.”
“I—“ Lip then starts laughing. “That fucking promise I made when I was what, seven? Eight?”
“So you do remember.”
--
Ian does not throw up, but Lip almost does. Laughing, Ian gives his brother a light nudge. “Worth it.”
Lip’s eyes soften just a bit. “Okay, yeah. It wasn’t as shit as I thought.” But in reality, seeing his little brother laugh like that was something Lip hadn’t seen in what felt like years. It probably was years, looking back on everything. Back before girls, and boys, and when they were LipandIan. Lip stands up on his toes to kiss his brother’s forehead.
--
“I’m gonna sit with my husband, is that okay?” Ian asks, and Finn sighs.
“If you kiss, you’ll scare away everybody.”
--
“Ten outta ten, would bang Snow White,” Carl says, when they get out the cart.
-
That's all the previews for now!
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15001700tt · 3 months
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Chapter 4- Loyalties and Scrutinies
Storms of Red Masterlist
5th year, 2021
This wasn’t how Rose imagined her fifth year. She envisioned hyper-focusing on studying to receive O’s in all of her subjects, She wasn’t supposed to be spending the entire year stuck in a prank war. It wasn’t supposed to go like this, she didn't sign up for any of this tomfoolery. But Scorpius forced her hand, when he changed her hair potion on the ride to Hogwarts.
The first day of instruction, instead of taming her curls, it made them wilder, extra frizzy and extra impossible. Walking around the whole day with a shrub of hair that was so tangled and staticy, many objects had gotten stuck in the tangled mass, including her hairbrush. Some boys even placed wagers on who could stick the most items in before she hounded them. 
Of course, she had to retaliate, so she turned his blonde locks into bright red. Not ginger, like her entire family. No, she’d never allow him that Weasley badge of pride. More like a stop sign, blaring and obnoxious, like the prat himself. The exact words she shouted at him from across the crowded hall. It was no surprise when they quickly spiraled into a cutthroat clashing of pranks, trying to one up the other throughout the entire year.
 At some point, Alice and Albus joined in, at first helping their respective best friends, but all too soon starting a prank war of their very own. James and Fred II kept tally, scoring based on which pranks were the funnier
and had the most devastating results. And of course, they became suppliers. Naturally. Supposedly, their reason for getting involved was purely for research, testing (best-sold) products for Fred’s dad’s shop (or so they would tell McGonagall when they got caught).
Hair was only the beginning, and they left no rock unturned. Rose replaced mayonnaise for the boys’ pudding cups, Scorpius enchanted pies to always be behind doors the girls’ opened. 
James jinxed the girls to grow full-on beards with Scor following up by sticking all sorts of creepy crawlers in their dorms. The high-pitched screams were quite excellent that day. Alice hexed them with bright pink dots all over their bodies, while Rose sent the boys howlers that blew out their eardrums. That one sent them to the infirmary. Even more hilarious was the song of her choosing. Chandelier, sung by a toad. Ah, the wonders of YouTube.
The most memorable ones were those that actually got them in trouble. After all, school-wise, they were the finest of their year. Even in the midst of a prank war, their grades never slipped one bit. They battled each other in academia as viciously as always, but this time, with a side of vibrant paint. While hair dye was a nice go-to, it didn't stay for long. Only lasting for a couple of days before eventually fading out.
Tickling charms were dropped when the first one landed Rose in the hospital ward. She had dropped to the floor in a laughing fit and hit her head on a table.
 At some point, Scorpius sported a black eye from one of the punching telescopes Rose bought from her uncle’s store. This chaotic back-and-forth went on for the entire year, except for the intermediate Christmas break. Albus banned them from continuing this stupid match over the holidays. 
Near the end of the year, the professors were also done with the both of them, deciding to stop this nonsense before it carried on for the next two years. Professor Longbottom, never one for pranks to begin with, sat them down in his office.
“I have never met two students so intellectually mature and yet so ridiculously childish,” he scolded right away, staring down at them with a fierce intensity and a severe frown.
“Friends. Prank! Each other.” Rose enunciated sarcastically, defiance in her eyes.
“Oi, deaf it! If you two are friends, then I’m the bloody Queen of England!” The tired man retorted harshly, before letting out a deep sigh. His expression changed from anger to confusion.
“I still don’t get it. The two of you are so bright, the pride of your houses, yet you just can’t seem to get along! Both of you have real potential to be great leaders one day, but this ridiculous, blatant disregard and disrespect for the school! This idiotic-” His eyebrows furrowed as he got angry again, struggling for the words.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed and looked at both students. Resigning to his fate, he hated when students made him be the serious professor. But, they forced his hand.
“Shite, I hate being an arse, but this pointless and absurd rivalry has got to stop!” So, standing to his full, towering height with a hard expression, he gave the two a right ear-bashing.
An hour later, both came out like thoroughly chastened children. Because, they were.
“Go to hell,” Rose said hotly, turning to leave first.
“Ladies first,” was the frosty comeback as Scorpius turned the other way.
Angry silence filled the space between the two as receding footfalls filled the hallway. 
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corvidfoxx · 2 years
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an alternate ending for eddie, because the one they gave him was such shit writing that i guarantee i can write a better one:
when dustin finds eddie, he’s badly beaten up, but it’s not a death sentence — the bats dropped before they could slice him up too badly, and he was wearing enough layers to protect the most important parts. dustin remembers from the wound steve had that they’re not too bad if you can get the bleeding under control, so he starts ripping strips off of both their clothes to bandage the areas that are bleeding the most. eddie tries to protest, but he doesn’t have it in him to really fight it, being as beat up as he is. he asks dustin, “i didn’t run away that time, right?” and dustin tells him he’s right, he didn’t run away, he fought, and now he has to keep fighting because the others still need him. eventually, he gives in and they make their way back through to the other side, dustin inevitably making a pointed comment that it sure would be easier to get across if someone hadn’t cut their rope.
when they first get back, eddie hides out in hopper’s cabin with el. if it’s secure enough to keep el hidden from the government agents out to get her, it’s sure as hell secure enough to keep him safe from some small town police and angry parents. hopper likes the arrangement because it means el isn’t just alone in the house when he has to leave, and eddie pretty quickly takes on an older brother role with her, spending their free time alone in the cabin showing her all sorts of music and teaching her how to play d&d (she likes to mess with him by using her powers to make all her rolls 20s and all of his 1s).
soon enough, hopper goes back to the police and is able to start smoothing things over for eddie. hopper was the police chief, the whole town sees him as a hero now so they want to believe what he says, and the other officers are just grateful for an authoritative voice to put an end to the hysteria so they don’t particularly want to question him. whatever hopper can’t smooth over with the law, owens’ people (who easily made the charges against el disappear) take care of.
ultimately, they end up pinning the murders on jason, which is surprisingly easy — they say chrissy’s death was a classic abusive boyfriend situation, that she had gone to eddie because she was afraid jason was going to do something to her and that eddie went into hiding after she died because he was afraid that jason was going to come after him next; they say fred was next because he found something incriminating while at the scene of the crime, and patrick after that because he was trying to stop jason from swimming after eddie. lucas vouches for him, since max was clearly a victim of the same killer and he was there when she was attacked — he says that jason was attacking her because she was helping eddie but was killed by the earthquake before he could finish the job, that eddie wasn’t even there when max was attacked so he must be innocent. lucas is a good witness; the town loved him for being the hero of the basketball game, so they want to believe him. dustin vouches for him too, saying he hurt his leg in the earthquake and eddie carried him to safety — that if anything, eddie is a hero, not a killer. they explain jason’s crusade against eddie as an attempt to throw suspicion off of himself and onto eddie because he was angry that eddie got away.
ultimately, the people of hawkins still don’t like eddie — he’s weird and they’ve never liked his family and old habits die hard — but now they have a satisfying answer to the question of who the murderer really was and the earthquake provided enough of a distraction from the murders that without jason there to fuel the fire, no one particularly cares about eddie or his club that was supposedly a cult anymore.
once his name is cleared, he’s able to see his uncle again and start hanging out with the rest of the gang more. he helps out at the earthquake shelter with everyone else as a show of good faith to the community, and a lot of them still side-eye him but with others it seems to help. he and will hit it off instantly when they meet, bonding over their love for d&d but quickly realizing they have more than just that in common (will thinks he’s good at hiding, but eddie instantly recognizes the way he looks at mike). there isn’t much time to relax before things inevitably start getting weird again, but it’s enough for him to realize that this life is much better than dying as a hero would’ve been, and that despite all the things people have said about him his entire life, these people believed in him enough to go through all that trouble just to make sure he would have a life to go back to in hawkins.
so there you have it folks — one of literally so many possible endings for eddie that would’ve been better than the bullshit shock value death they gave him
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spxcemuses · 3 months
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@ask-paradox-and-friends asked: *nods* Yes that would be good Fred. Wonder where the rest of the family is. Miss Muriel was your aunt. So... do you know any other family members? Also you have some vegetables in your teeth.
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[ Random Ask ] | Always Accepting
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" Oh, there is? Terribly sorry, give me a moment- "
Fred stops smiling, taking a moment to inspect his teeth in a nearby mirror. Even if he didn't realize it was a ruse from the other to get him to stop his eerie smiling, he still had to check. There fortunately weren't any stuck to his teeth, so he looks back to them, his curiosity growing. Who were they, and why did they want to know so much about his family?
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" Hm. If I do, I have not met them in person nor heard of them. Besides my aunt Muriel, I have Eustace, who is considered my uncle-in-law. I also supposedly have a great aunt named Gertrude and my aunt's sister named Dorothy. I do not know those two in person, but I love hearing my beloved aunt tell stories about them over some tea. May I ask why you are so invested in my family? You seem awful curious. "
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mariusroyale · 3 years
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cap’n! aka the crew’s collective dad
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tibby · 3 years
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If you have the time can you please please please recap season 4 of riverdale. I was going to binge it on Netflix but things happen and then I saw your post about the graduation episode and HAD to watch that happen and now I’m recommitted to the cause and need to know what happened while I was gone
sure. okay so the season sadly starts with the death of fred andrews in a very sentimental and moving episode that’s kind of seperate from the rest of the show so it’s not really until episode two that things kick off. the riverteens are kind of thriving in a parentless world because milf alice was kidnapped by a cult, dilf hiram and milf hermione are in prison, milf penelope is in hiding after killing a bunch of people, milf mary is kind of just There, milf gladys went back to toledo after her drug empire failed, god knows what milf sierra and gay kevin’s straight former cop dad are off doing, and dilf fp is the sheriff but because it’s fp he’s kind of bad at it. so the riverteens are horrified when their new principal mr honey expects them to be at school on time and disapproves of them throwing school dances because students keep getting murdered at them. cheryl, who an episode prior never wanted anyone in riverdale to celebrate the 4th of july ever again because of her brother’s death, considers this an act of oppression and throws a party at her house. however, as she is keeping her brother’s mummified corpse in the basement, she gets angry when reggie tries to sneak down there. meanwhile gay kevin is trying to make amends with betty for the time he tried to have her lobotomised because of the cult led by chad michael murray. betty uses this to her advantage to find out where the cult is, teaming up with her half brother, charles (not to be confused with chic, who was only PRETENDING to be charles back in season two). archie gets munroe, his prison buddy, to attend riverdale high, and reggie is weirdly jealous about it. archie discovers that this is because reggie is being abused by his father, so they smash in his car and apparently this solves everything. jughead starts attending stonewall prep, where he meets bret weston wallis, donna sweett, joan berkeley, and jonathan. he also reunites with moose, who disappeared in mid s3 after cheryl outed him to the whole school including his homophobic dad, and then his homophobic dad dressed up as the gargoyle to try and stop moose and gay kevin hooking up in the sex bunker they stole from dilton doiley after he killed himself, but it turns out that his homophobic dad was just angry HE never got to fuck gay kevin’s straight cop dad back in the day. it was this whole thing. anyway, moose is like “i’m going by my real name, marmaduke now, so people don’t find out about my dad” but everyone does anyway and so moose mysteriously disappears again. betty finds out where the cult is (after disarming a bomb attached to her sister polly using a bobby pin) and goes to rescue her mother. milf alice reveals that chad michael murray is using the cult money to build a rocket, and his wife/fake daughter evelyn is going to drive a bus full of cultists off a cliff. the day is saved! veronica finds out that her father’s real surname is luna and decides to start going by that as an act of rebellion because he keeps leaving the prison that he owns to fuck with her after she had him arrested. archie decides to turn his gym into a community centre with munroe’s help. cheryl, who, for unknown reasons, obtained custody of polly’s twins, immediately fires the nanny that toni hired because he said there were probably rats in the walls and went into the basement. cheryl goes to make sure that the nanny didn’t interfere with her brother’s mummified corpse, and toni walks in on her stitching him up. videotapes start arriving at the homes of the riverdale residents of said homes being filmed for hours. onto halloween! toni tells cheryl they can’t have a dead body in the horse and makes her rebury jason, at which point cheryl claims she is being haunted by a doll named julian, who is supposedly possessed by the spirit of her other brother that she ate in utero, but the haunting will stop if they unbury jason. toni agrees, but the doll continues to appear in weird places, and cheryl is forced to confess that while she WAS gaslighting her before, she isn’t right now. betty bonds with charles while receiving prank phone calls from polly, who is now in a mental institution. archie and munroe try to throw a halloween party at their community centre for the troubled youths but it’s interrupted by a drug dealing gang trying to start shit in the parking lot, thus giving archie a new enemy. reggie destroys mr honey’s office for the joke but mr honey catches him and is like “you do this because your dad hits you.” jughead uncovers mysteries surrounding strange disappearances of prep students known as “the stonewall four,” and donna drugs him so she and bretjoanjonathan can lock him in a coffin overnight as a bit. meanwhile, veronica burns a man alive in her basement. archie becomes a teen vigilante for the millionth time in the series, jughead and the other stonewall stags go into the running to be the ghostwriter for the baxter brothers franchise, veronica gets her mother out of prison but then finds out that her half sister, hermosa the PI, got their father out of prison, and he is now mayor again. betty and gay kevin start an fbi training course in which betty realises the serial killer gene is a real thing and she does have it, and remembers when she killed her childhood cat. jughead finds out that his grandfather who drunk himself to death but also abandoned fp but is also just some guy ACTUALLY wrote the baxter brothers franchise and is like “i have to reveal this!” so he takes it to his english teacher mr chipping but then mr chipping jumps out of a window before anything can come of it, and jughead is horrified when the stonewall stags have no reaction. cheryl is still convinced she is being haunted by a doll and things are further complicated when her extended family shows up. her uncle discovers jason’s body in the basement, threatens to send cheryl away, and is killed by toni. speaking of death, archie is still on his vigilante shit and asks hiram for help, at which point the near dead body of the gang leader, dodger shows up wrapped in carpet outside of the community centre. betty visits chic in prison to find out more about charles, and when chic threatens to reveal where milf alice buried the man she killed back in season two, charles and fp go to dig it up again and move it somewhere else. to get her family away from her and also in the spirit of thanksgiving, cheryl makes them think that they ate her uncle. dodger’s family show up at the community centre thanksgiving for revenge and there’s almost a shoot out, but thankfully the deep fryer explodes and chaos is avoided! milf mary later suggests the deep fryer exploding was archie’s dead dad’s ghost. betty and jughead spend the weekend at stonewall prep, where they play a homoerotic game of never have i ever with bret and donna. donna says that she and mr chipping were having an affair. now it’s time for the gang to go to therapy: archie gets diagnosed with gay but is also just suffering from an insane guilt complex, betty has mommy issues, veronica has daddy issues, cheryl is being gaslit but did NOT eat her brother in utero, jughead is just some guy. jughead finds out where his abusive alcoholic grandfather has been hiding out, and meanwhile his dad gets shot. veronica decides to fight back against her father by starting a rival rum business. polly rips off a nurse’s face and betty finds out that everyone in her family has a trigger word instilled in them by the cult, so she imagines herself going back in time to STOP her child self killing her cat to learn how to control it. cheryl uncovers her gaslighter by literally gassing her house, and it’s revealed that milf penelope was living in the walls and mad that cheryl had jason’s body. cheryl reburies jason and imprisons her mother in the sex bunker. archie’s uncle shows up, just in time for football season! the riverteens are playing stonewall prep, and reggie reveals that the preppies fight dirty, just in time for them to tonya harding munroe’s knees as he is their star player. archie’s uncle gives munroe steroids so he can play anyway, and riverdale loses but munroe gets a scholarship. cheryl feuds with her new cheerleading coach and locks her in her office so she has a panic attack. hiram threatens to sue veronica for stealing his rum recipe, so she teams up with cheryl (maple syrup queen) to create a new type. jughead joins the stonewall prep secret society, the quill and skull, and reveals that he watched a homeless man die. also, the cheerleading team performs cherry bomb. betty starts feuding with bret and decides to stand off against him in a quiz show, and although she wins, she is accused of cheating and is forced to give it up. she also wanted to use this to try and get into yale because apparently “cooper” is an uncommon name and people associate it with her serial killer father. veronica and cheryl enlist milf penelope and her former brothel in a hotel to run their underground rum dealership after hiram kept fucking shit up at veronica’s speakeasy. jughead is forced to come up with new stories for his baxter brother books, and so he writes about betty’s serial killer father (uh oh!) archie tries to restart his father’s construction company but his uncle’s shenanigans make it hard and gay kevin’s straight former cop dad has HAD IT. fangs is back from cult recovery, but gay kevin has gotten into non sexual tickle porn. toni and fangs get in on this they use this to blackmail nick st clair after he returns and understandably upsets cheryl, his would be rape victim. archie is attacked in the bathrooms at school because his uncle can’t mind his own business, but this plot was fucking boring so i don’t remember most of it. jughead and bret decided to duel, because of course, and betty uses this as a chance to investigate the preppies further. she finds out that bret films sex tapes and blackmailed moose with one, and also has one of her and jughead. she also finds a video suggesting donna lied about her affair with mr chipping. veronica goes to new york to visit katy keene, played by lucy hale of fantasy island fame, who tells her that her mother is dying. veronica returns home just in time to hear that hiram has a mysterious disease and decides to make amends. jughead is accused of plagiarism, meanwhile veronica realises her father thrives off war, and continues their rum battle. archie is now drinking at school and veronica accuses mr honey of being a fascist for having a problem with it. BUT. MOST IMPORTANTLY. ALL SEASON WE HAVE BEEN TEASED WITH DEADHEAD. AND IT IS FINALLY HAPPENING. IDES OF MARCH PARTY AT STONEWALL PREP. AND BETTY BASHES JUGHEAD’S HEAD IN WITH A ROCK. betty tries to prove that the stonewall stags did it instead but donna is an insane lesbian and thrives off gaslighting and fucking with her. because jughead died, betty gets his spot at yale. the core four are accused of murder but cleared of everything. jughead has a funeral, and bret’s attempt of proving jughead isn’t in the casket are thwarted by the sweet pea, the sweetest pea in the room. hiram shows up just to fire fp as sheriff. betty kisses archie to help with her grief, and veronica ends things with them both. but donna is not convinced, and goes around stalking betty, saying she watched her sex tape and knows that betty couldn’t last so long without sex with jughead. and she is right! because lo and behold, jughead is alive and hiding in the sex bunker, despite donna’s best attempts to catch them out. donna knows they’re up to something and implies she killed jonathan when bret doubts her. betty and archie are like “yeah we only dated for the bit :/” but their texting implies it was...more. betty and jughead return to stonewall and expose the preppies, but they decide not to interview jonathan because he “has food poisoning.” or he’s dead. their other teacher kills himself, and fp reunites with his abusive father. betty discovers that donna’s grandmother was one of the people killed for the rights to the baxter brothers/tracy true franchise, and the entire scheme was a complicated revenge plot by donna to get back at their teacher for killing her grandmother. betty blackmails her with this information so donna can’t have the tracy true contract, and everything is “wrapped up” just in time for gay kevin to announce he’s doing a variety show. gay kevin’s intentions of performing hedwig are destroyed when mr honey is like “no, this is inappropriate for high schoolers,” and so the riverteens decide to band together and have everyone perform hedwig songs as an act of protest. meanwhile, betty and jughead fight because jughead didn’t do his homework because he was too busy watching the stalker vhs tapes, and veronica and archie fight because he lied about her father working out at his gym, given that hiram has tried to kill him multiple times and doesn’t really care about his health. betty and archie use this as an opportunity to kiss during origin of love. the variety show is cancelled, but the core four and gay kevin perform midnight radio on the roof, and jughead watches a stalker vhs tape of someone in a betty mask killing someone in a jughead mask. tickle porn shenanigans continue, and gay kevin is threatened over cheating his original tickle porn handler out of money. mr honey then forces them to shut the website down. cheryl leaves the rum business after her mother is threatened because of goons that were mad at hiram. hiram decides to deal with this by going after said goons. archie writes a song for betty, they explore their relationship further, but she picks jughead over him even when he says he’ll dump veronica for her. jughead discovers that ethel watched his and betty’s sex tape, and he and charles uncover blue velvet video, which houses sexy films and snuff films, and jughead is like “oh this is connected to the whole vhs stalker thing.” cheryl is sent a video of someone dressed up as her father killing someone dressed up as her brother. the riverteens turn their focus to the fact that all of them except archie and jughead have been banned from prom for various reasons, and betty suggests they kill mr honey as punishment. jughead writes an elaborate murder fantasy about them doing so, and also kills off reggie and drives cheryl insane for the bit i guess. the riverteens conclude that mr honey was behind the vhs stalker tapes and have him fired, and he tells them they’re all deranged before going to teach at stonewall prep. the school secretary tells them all the wonderful things mr honey did for the school and hands jughead a recommendation letter he wrote him for college. jughead realises they fucked up and rewrites his story so mr honey lives, but uh oh! he and betty uncover a vhs tape of their fictional murder of mr honey, much like the others.
and that’s what you missed on riverdale!
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Barbara La Marr (born Reatha Dale Watson; July 28, 1896 – January 30, 1926) was an American film actress and screenwriter who appeared in twenty-seven films during her career between 1920 and 1926. La Marr was also noted by the media for her beauty, dubbed as the "Girl Who Is Too Beautiful," as well as her tumultuous personal life.
Born in Yakima, Washington, La Marr spent her early life in the Pacific Northwest before relocating with her family to California when she was a teenager. After performing in vaudeville and working as a dancer in New York City, she moved to Los Angeles with her second husband and became a screenwriter for Fox Film Corporation, writing several successful films for the company. La Marr was finally "discovered" by Douglas Fairbanks, who gave her a prominent role in The Nut (1921), then cast her as Milady de Winter in his production of The Three Musketeers (1921). After two further career-boosting films with director Rex Ingram (The Prisoner of Zenda and Trifling Women, both with Ramon Novarro), La Marr signed with Arthur H. Sawyer to make several films for various studios, including The Hero (1923), Souls for Sale (1923), and The Shooting of Dan McGrew (1924), the first and last of which she co-wrote.
During her career, La Marr became known as the pre-eminent vamp of the 1920s; she partied and drank heavily, once remarking to the press that she only slept two hours a night. In 1924, La Marr's health began to falter after a series of crash diets for comeback roles further affected her lifestyle, leading to her death from pulmonary tuberculosis and nephritis at age 29. She was posthumously honored on the Hollywood Walk of Fame for her contributions to the film industry.
Barbara La Marr was born in 1896 as Reatha Dale Watson to William and Rosana "Rose" Watson in Yakima, Washington (La Marr later claimed she was born in Richmond, Virginia). Her father was an editor for a newspaper and her mother, a native of Corvallis, Oregon, already had one son, Henry, and a daughter, Violet, from a previous marriage. La Marr's parents had wed some time during 1884, and had a son, William Watson, Jr., born in June 1886, ten years before she was born. Through her mother, La Marr was of German and English descent.
In the 1920s, the elder Watson became a vaudeville comedian under the stage name of Billy Devore. The Watsons lived in various locations in Washington and Oregon during La Marr's formative years. By 1900, she was living with her parents in Portland, Oregon, with her brother William, her half-sister Violet Ross, and Violet's husband Arvel Ross. As a child, La Marr also performed as a dancer in vaudeville, and made her acting debut as Little Eva in a Tacoma stage production of Uncle Tom's Cabin in 1904.
By 1910, La Marr was living in Fresno, California, with her parents. Some time after 1911, the family moved to Los Angeles, and La Marr worked at a department store. La Marr also appeared in burlesque shows. In January 1913, her half-sister, now going by the name of Violet Ake, took her 16-year-old sister on a three-day automobile excursion with a man named C.C. Boxley. They drove up to Santa Barbara, but after a few days, La Marr felt that they were not going to let her return home. Ake and Boxley finally let La Marr return to Los Angeles after they realized that warrants were issued for their arrests, accusing them of kidnapping. This episode was published in several newspapers, and La Marr even testified against her sister, but the case eventually was dropped. La Marr's name appeared frequently in newspaper headlines during the next few years. In November 1914, she came back to California from Arizona and announced that she was the newly widowed wife of a rancher named Jack Lytell and that they were supposedly married in Mexico. She also stated that she loathed the name Reatha and preferred to be called by the childhood nickname "Beth."
After marrying and moving in with her third husband, vaudevillian Ben Deely, La Marr, who at one time had aspirations of being a poet, found employment writing screenplays at Fox Film Corporation using the name Folly Lyell. She wrote numerous scenarios for studio shorts at Fox and United Artists, many of which she based on her life, earning over US$10,000 during her tenure at the studios. She was credited as writer Barbara La Marr Deely on the films The Mother of His Children, The Rose of Nome, Flame of Youth, The Little Grey Mouse, and The Land of Jazz (all released in 1920).
La Marr continued to write short screenplays for the studio and supported herself by dancing in various cities across the country, including New York City, Chicago, New Orleans, and at the 1915 World's Fair in San Francisco. La Marr's dance partners included Rudolph Valentino and Clifton Webb, and her dance routines attracted the attention of publisher William Randolph Hearst, who featured her and a dance partner in a series of articles published in the San Francisco Examiner around 1914.
While working in the writers' building at United Artists, La Marr was approached by Mary Pickford, who reportedly embraced her and said, "My dear, you are too beautiful to be behind a camera. Your vibrant magnetism should be shared by film audiences." La Marr's association with filmmakers led to her returning to Los Angeles and making her film debut in 1920 in Harriet and the Piper. Though a supporting part, the film garnered her attention from audiences. La Marr made the successful transition from writer to actress with her supporting role in The Nut (1921), playing a femme fatale. Later the same year, she was hired by Douglas Fairbanks to play the substantial part of Milady de Winter in The Three Musketeers.
Over the next several years, La Marr acted frequently in films, and became known to the public as "The Girl Who Is Too Beautiful", after Adela Rogers St. Johns, a Hearst newspaper feature writer, saw a judge sending her home during a police beat in Los Angeles because she was "too beautiful and young to be on her own in the big city." This publicity did much to promote her career. Among La Marr's films are The Prisoner of Zenda and Trifling Women, both 1922 releases directed by Rex Ingram. Although her film career flourished, she embraced the fast-paced Hollywood nightlife, remarking in an interview that she slept no more than two hours a night.
In 1923, La Marr appeared in the comedy The Brass Bottle, portraying the role of the Queen, and Poor Men's Wives. She had a supporting part in the Fred Niblo-directed comedy Strangers of the Night, and was noted in a New York Times review for her "capable" performance. She starred in the lead role, with Bert Lytell and Lionel Barrymore, in The Eternal City (1923), which featured a cameo appearance by Italian dictator Benito Mussolini.
In 1924, during the filming of Thy Name Is Woman, production supervisor Irving Thalberg made regular visits to the set to ensure that La Marr's alcoholism was not interfering with the shoot. The same year, La Marr's first starring, above-the-title role came in the drama Sandra, from First National Pictures, which she filmed in New York City in August 1924. La Marr had served as a co-writer on the film, which focused on a woman suffering from a split-personality disorder Upon release, the film received dismally negative reviews.
La Marr's final screenplay, titled My Husband's Wives, was produced by Fox in 1924, arriving in theaters shortly after the release of Sandra, and before the production of what proved to be her final three films: The Heart of a Siren (a mixed reception), The White Monkey (a critical failure), and The Girl from Montmartre (a critical success, albeit posthumously released). While shooting The Girl from Montmartre in early October 1925, La Marr collapsed on set and went into a coma as the studio wrapped production without her with use of a double in long shots.
Although the tally is usually given as five, La Marr officially was married only four times. No documentation exists to prove the existence of her alleged first husband, Jack Lytelle, whom she claimed to have met while visiting friends in Yuma, Arizona in 1914. According to La Marr, Lytelle became enamored with her as he saw her one day riding in an automobile while he was on horseback. The couple allegedly married the day after they met, but Lytelle, it was claimed, died of pneumonia only three weeks into the marriage, leaving only a surname for Mrs. Lytelle to inherit.
La Marr's first official documented marriage on June 2, 1914, was to a Max Lawrence, who later turned out to be a former soldier of fortune named Lawrence Converse. He already was married with children when he married La Marr under a false name, and was arrested for bigamy the following day. Converse died of a blood clot in his brain three days later on June 5.
On October 13, 1916, La Marr married Philip Ainsworth, a noted dancer. Although the son of well-off parents, Ainsworth eventually was incarcerated at San Quentin State Prison for passing bad checks, and the couple divorced in 1917. She married for a fourth time to Ben Deely, also a dancer, in 1918. Deely, who was over twice her age, was an alcoholic and a gambling addict, which led to the couple's separation in April 1921. Before the divorce from Deely was finalized, La Marr married actor Jack Dougherty in May 1923. Despite separating a year later, they remained legally married until her death.
Some years after La Marr's death, she was revealed to have given birth to a son, Marvin Carville La Marr, on July 29, 1922. The name of the boy's father has never been released. During her final illness, La Marr entrusted the care of her son to her close friend, actress ZaSu Pitts, and Pitts' husband, film executive Tom Gallery. After La Marr's death, the child was legally adopted by Pitts and Gallery, and was renamed Don Gallery. Don Gallery died in 2014.
La Marr partied long hours and got very little sleep during the latter part of her career, often pairing this behavior with drinking during especially low points; she once told an interviewer: "I cheat nature. I never sleep more than two hours a day. I have better things to do."[8] In addition to her drinking and lack of sleep, during the last two years of her life La Marr went on several extreme crash diets to lose weight.[8] La Marr was rumored to have at one time ingested a tapeworm head in a pill to help her lose weight.
By late 1925, La Marr's health had deteriorated significantly due to pulmonary tuberculosis. While filming her final feature, The Girl from Montmartre, La Marr collapsed on the set and lapsed into a coma. In mid-December, she was diagnosed with nephritis, an inflammation of the kidneys, as a complication of her already tubercular state. La Marr was bedridden through Christmas, and by late December, she reportedly weighed less than 80 pounds (36 kg).
Some historians and writers have claimed that La Marr was addicted to morphine and heroin, which she had been prescribed after injuring her ankle and which may have contributed to her health problems. In Sherri Snyder's 2017 biography of La Marr, the writer states that these claims were untrue and erroneously reported. A frequently recirculated rumor was that La Marr was arrested for morphine possession in Los Angeles; however, Snyder states that this claim was mistakenly attributed to La Marr, when it had in fact been actress Alma Rubens who had been arrested in January 1931, five years after La Marr's death. Ben Finney, a close friend of La Marr, contested the claims of drug use, stating: "It is inconceivable that during our close friendship I would not have known if she were a junkie," adding, "She did well enough with booze."
On January 30, 1926, La Marr died of complications associated with tuberculosis and nephritis at her parents' home in Altadena, California, at the age of 29. Her friend, film director Paul Bern, was with her when she died. La Marr's son later speculated that Bern may have been his biological father, though this eventually was disproved; Bern died in a mysterious shooting six years later.
La Marr's funeral at the Walter C. Blue Undertaking Chapel in Los Angeles attracted over 3,000 fans, and five women reportedly fainted in the crowd and had to be removed by police to safety. After her removal from the church during the funeral procession, hundreds of fans flooded the chapel hoping to obtain flowers from the decorative arrangements. She was interred in a crypt at Hollywood Cathedral Mausoleum, in the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. For her contribution to the motion picture industry, La Marr has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame at 1621 Vine Street.
Producer Louis B. Mayer, a longtime admirer of La Marr, named actress Hedy Lamarr after her. She is also referred to in the popular 1932 Flanagan and Allen song "Underneath the Arches" during a break in which Ches Allen reads the headlines from a 1926 newspaper. Children's author Edward Eager set an episode of his 1954 book Half Magic at a showing of La Marr's Sandra and includes ironic descriptions of the movie.
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moviemunchies · 3 years
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There are so many different adaptations and takes on A Christmas Carol and I kind of hate it? Look, I remember growing up and finding a bajillion specials on television that were different cartoons doing their own version of the story. Whenever a studio announced a major motion picture adaptation, I just didn’t care. I’d already seen the story done a million times, and I got bored of it!
Except for this one. For whatever reason, I can’t remember ever getting tired of The Muppet Christmas Carol.
Mind you, when I was a kid I did get scared of it. I couldn’t watch the “Marley & Marley” scene because the ghosts with chains and moaning--couldn’t do it. And the Ghost of Christmas Future wasn’t great for me either. I’d just kind of… leave or skip or zone out during those segments. But other than that it’s a great film. It’s a surprisingly great adaptation too--if you ever read the play or the novel, there are several lines and narrations lifted straight from the text in this movie.
Just. Y’know. In the mouths of Muppets.
And yes it’s funny. Of course it’s funny. It’s the Muppets. But one thing that I think is always important in telling a story that’s both humorous and dramatic is that one never undermines the other. Yeah there are jokes, but the jokes in the movie aren’t there to mock the drama of the original story. The main story is played fairly seriously. And when we get to the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, Gonzo and Rizzo leave the story because they think it’s too creepy for them.
[Probably to make sure they don’t undo the heavy material of the ending.]
Supposedly Michael Caine (yes THAT Michael Caine) found playing Scrooge to be one of his favorite roles and had a lot of fun on this movie. Word on the ‘net is that he just treated his Muppet co-stars like they were all members of the Royal Shakespeare Company instead of, well, puppets. And I think it kind of shows?
I guess what I’m saying is: this very easily could have been a very stupid, annoying movie which just constantly jokes at audience about how silly it is that the Muppets are trying to reenact a piece of classical literature. 
The casting is pretty great? Michael Caine is my favorite Ebeneezer Scrooge, in part because he’s not just crotchety and rude, he’s outright cruel in a way that works for the character. But he’s also someone who can turn around and convincingly portray a person who has learned from the lessons of the story to become a generous and kind person.
Gonzo as Charles Dickens is an odd choice. I don’t know if it makes much sense, or it was just that they wanted Gonzo in the movie and put him in what was left. But it’s not that he did a bad job at all--he does fine. He’s a fun narrator, one that puts a surprising amount of seriousness into the role. And he gets to bounce off of Rizzo (who plays himself) in a way that keeps the story fresh.
Kermit is a fantastic Bob Cratchit in that he’s a nice guy that everyone pushes around. Of course Miss Piggy plays his wife, and although I don’t recall if Mrs. Cratchit is as...willful as Miss Piggy, I think it works for the story. After all, it’s good to see someone stick up for Bob Cratchit when he’s been so put upon.
I think that the man who plays young adult Scrooge is Raymond Coulthard--IMDB has like four performers listed as “Young Scrooge.” They all do fine, but the one who does him as a young adult does the longest. I don’t know if he’s as talented as Michael Caine in portraying a sympathetic Scrooge, but he doesn’t have as much time to do so either, and in his first scene you could easily see how he’s charming.
The Ghost of Christmas Past still holds up remarkably well as far as effects go. Some of the flying doesn’t, but even then it’s like something you’d see now on a cheap TV budget rather than truly bad. But again, for the most part she still looks great. She’s a bit unworldly and uncanny to look at, but that’s the point.
The Ghost of Christmas Present in this film is my favorite rendition of the character, and not just because he’s got a fantastic musical number. To be clear, a lot of his sharper rebukes from the source material are toned down or removed to build him into a warmer character. One who is still just as effective, I think.
[Also, he and Future are Muppets designed specifically for this film.]
Ghost of Christmas Future gave me the willies growing up. Less so now. I don’t know if his weird proportions (his arms are way too long and his legs are too short) adds to the creep factor. But regardless, the huge silent cloaked figure is incredibly creepy and is played masterfully. 
Other highlights:
-Statler and Waldorf as the Marley Brothers (also their names are on a shop front in the set).
-Sam the Eagle as Scrooge’s teacher
-Fozzie as Scrooge’s first boss
-That cat that chases Rizzo
-Fred. Poor Fred, putting up with his uncle’s nonsense.
There is a contingent of fans who believe this is one of the best Muppet movies ever made. Honestly, I couldn’t tell you--I really haven’t seen that many Muppet movies, and the ones I have seen other than this one, I haven’t viewed in years. This film, however, I try to view once a year around Christmas time. If you need another Christmas special to add to your list, I don’t think you’ll regret this one. I don’t know if it will appeal to people who didn’t grow up with it, or the Muppets, but I had fun with it so I can’t help but recommend it.
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sweetsmellosuccess · 4 years
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TIFF 2020: Days 1 & 2
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Films: 5 Best Film of the Day(s): One Night in Miami
One Night in Miami…: I guess you could form an argument that basing a film on a pre-existing play would make the feature easier to put together, but that wouldn’t be taking into account the tremendous differences between the mediums, their relative strengths and weaknesses. For her feature debut, the Oscar-winning actress Regina King has cinematically adapted the stage play  by Kemp Powers about a fictionalized fateful night amongst four famous Black men in 1964. Those men, Malcolm X (Kingsley Ben-Adir), Jim Brown (Aldis Hodge), Sam Cooke (Leslie Odom Jr.), and Cassius Clay (Eli Goree), are all in town ostensibly to celebrate Clay’s beatdown of Sonny Liston to first become the heavyweight champion of the world at the tender age of 22. But the film puts them all together in Malcolm X’s modest hotel room, watched over by Nation of Islam security men, to spend a night, essentially, debating the merits of what they bring to the struggle for Black equality and economic emancipation, and arguing back and forth about their distinct positions. Here is precisely where many play adaptations falter, without the dramatic friction of a live performance to power the emotional core, such conventions generally fall flat on the screen, but King’s virtuoso acting instincts serve her able cast well, and her work with DP Tami Reiker allows the film to flow, seemingly organically between its few location movements. Working from a skilled script by Powers, the celebrated figures feel three dimensional, which gives even their more didactic diatribes (Malcolm), and pithy rebuttals (Cooke) enough weight to avoid sounding contrived. The cast work wonders on the material, granting a needed organic vibe to their nonfiction characters, echoing the essences without tipping into caricature. It’s a strong debut for King, and the film’s complex ruminations on the responsibility of successful Black people towards their community as a means of bringing attention to the country’s oppression couldn’t be more on point. At one point Clay tells Cooke the four of them will always remain friends, because they are among the few who can possibly understand what it’s like to be “young, Black, famous, righteous, and unapologetic.”
Shiva Baby: Danielle (Rachel Sennott) is in the midst of having a day. Turns out Max (Danny Deferrari), the sugar daddy with whom she has frequently been visiting as part of her regular prostitution gig, is somehow a friend or cousin of the deceased at the same Shiva she has come to attend with her well-meaning, but completely overwhelming parents (Polly Draper and Fred Melamed). If that weren’t enough in Emma Seligman’s spry comedy, Danielle is also horrified to find Maya (Molly Gordon), a successful young woman she’s known for years, and a recent ex, also there. Crammed into the Shiva house, full of cousins and aunts and uncles all kvetching about everyone else, and being physically grabbed and moved about by her mother, Danielle faces this house of horrors, with everyone commenting concernedly on her weight-loss (“You look like Gwyneth Paltrow  —  on food stamps!” her mother hisses at her), and her lack of job prospects when she graduates, and her parents telling scathingly embarrassing stories about her in front of Max and his shiksa wife (Dianna Argon), whose 18-month-old baby, her mom says is “freakishly pale  —  and no nose,” with no respite in sight. As a result of this sort of hyper-scrutiny, Danielle goes the only route that makes any sense: Lying to everybody about nearly everything, from her current major (“gender business”), to the many job interviews she has supposedly lined up. She’s just trying to get through the ordeal, one that Seligman, along with a continually spiraling score from Ariel Marx, ratchets up, until, near the end, poor Danielle is in a near fugue state, sweat glistening on her face, and the attendees, shot in unflattering slo-mo, and distorted lenses, take on the sheen of a waking nightmare. At a brisk 77 minutes, the film still doesn’t have quite enough to sustain its running time  —  at a certain point it begins doubling back on itself  —  but it’s still a lot of horrific fun, as Seligman expertly captures the absolute loss of agency one can feel, swallowed up in a claustrophobic family gathering, where escape feels futile.
Limbo: If Scotland has a cinematic identity, as such, it seems like the kind of place, desolate and unforgiving, where individuals come to exit regular society and come to a land filled with eccentric loners (stoic and unique in their oddities), in order to get better in touch with their souls. Ben Sharrock’s serio-comedy captures both the pitiless beauty of the land, and the lonely plight of a Syrian immigrant, Omar (Amir El-Masry), waiting with a group of other men from across the Middle East and Africa, on an island off the mainland, for word from the Immigration Office that his bid for political asylum has been accepted. Omar, sweet-faced and approachable, was a musician by trade in his native Syria, and walks around everywhere carrying his precious oud, bequeathed to him by his grandfather, also a musician, even though his right hand is locked in a cast from an unspecified injury. Even without the cast, however, you get the sense that his heart really isn’t into playing, despite the entreaties from Farhad (Vikash Bhai), his Afghani roomie and self-appointed “agent and manager,” who wants him to enter a local music contest. Omar is carrying a significant amount of weight beyond missing his mother’s fragrant home-cooking. Talking to her on the lone payphone on the island, where other immigrants-in-waiting stand in line for a chance to hear from home, she implores him to speak to his older brother, who chose to stay behind in Syria and fight in the Civil War that has plagued the region for years. Omar feels guilty for having left, and suffers from having disappointed his father in the process. It doesn’t help him that the culture he finds himself in seems so foreign to him, despite his speaking flawless English. Sharrock’s brand of deadpan perfectly suits the setting, but as funny as the film can be (when asked in a culture/language class to create a sentence using the “I used to” construction, one immigrant offers “I used to be happy before I came here”), it doesn’t paint a rosy affirmation for Omar and his ilk, stuck as they are, as the title suggests, between countries and lives. Omar’s pain is real, and for every positive step forward he takes, it’s one further away from his family and his beloved home country.
Enemies of the State: Sonia Kennebeck’s challenging and curious documentary seems at first to present a case for its protagonist, Matt DeHart, a young teen hacker interested in social justice, who through his work with Wikileaks runs afoul of the U.S. government, and his beleaguered parents, Paul and Leann, who vigorously defend their only child against the evil forces conspiring against him. Through a series of personal interviews with Paul and Leann, both retired Air Force intelligence officers, who believe their country has turned against them for what Matt had downloaded from his computer into secret thumbdrives shortly before the FBI arrived at their door and confiscated all his equipment, and various lawyers they employed, first to protect Matt from what they claim as utterly bogus child-porn charges, then, after they slip away to Canada in the middle of the night, the lawyers trying to earn them asylum. While in Canada, under close supervision and confined to his parents’ apartment, Matt uses his charms, his hackavist bonafides, and his skill at PR, to generate enough interest in his case to become a digital cause celebe, along the lines of Edward Snowden and Chelsea Manning. Protests are fronted, defense funds gathered, and pressure put on the government to come clean about why they seem so hard-driving against the young man. During a peculiar reenactment set in a Canadian immigration hearing  —  Kennebeck employs actors who apparently lip sync their lines in perfect time with the actual recorded audio  —  DeHart describes a harrowing ordeal earlier in the affair, after having moved to Canada to attend college, being abducted by the FBI shortly after crossing the border to renew his Visa, and tortured for days for information related to the material on the thumb-drives. Some documentation seems to corroborate his claims (even Paul and Leann, as fierce supporters as can be, were shocked to see just how ready the FBI were to snatch him), but as the film continues, and we hear more and more from the investigators and prosecuting attorneys about the original child-pornography crimes, it becomes clear that our sympathies are being played with by Kennebeck. By the end, the film itself becomes an indictment of our rapid-assumption culture, in which decisions of guilt and innocence are determined in seconds online and forever after based on the presentation of information before us.
The Way I See It: For non Trumpites, the switchover from eight years of the dignified, intelligent, and measured leadership of Barack Obama, to the perma-tanned tackiness of power-mad, narcissistic bloviating of Donald Trump, was like a double-feature that went from Citizen Kane to Kevin James’ Loudest Farts. One man better than most to measure Obama’s time in office against the subsequent regime is photojournalist Pete Souza, who served as the official White House photographer for both of Obama’s terms, and has gone on to become an outspoken critic of Trump by way of his devastating IG account, in which he juxtaposes stately Obama photos with Trumps scandal-du-jour. Lest you think he’s just another divisively partisan liberal, you have to take into account his previous turn in the White House, as one of the official photographers for Ronald Reagan’s presidency. In fact, Souza’s fly-on-the-wall quality was considered one of his strengths in the oval office. Documentarian Dawn Porter travels with Souza as he makes the media rounds promoting his newest book, Shade, a collection of those IG photos that have earned him millions of social media followers (a sort of companion piece to his previous book Obama: An Intimate Portrait). Hauling from far-off India (where he gets a standing ovation before he even takes the stage), to domestic conferences and speaking engagements, Souza emerges as a man becoming more used to being out from behind his ever-present Canon lens. Through that lens, as he displays to his rapturous audiences, he has taken many hundreds of indelible photos, showing Obama’s various interactions with foreign dignitaries, his council of cabinet members, and his more raucous time with his two daughters (one shot of Obama with his girls making snow angels on the rear lawn during a heavy snow storm remains his computer screensaver, Souza says with pride). As Porter moves from talking heads to public oratories, Souza’s remarkable photos  —  brilliantly composed, and inspiringly intimate, having been given nearly unlimited access to the president  —  play throughout, showing us a collection of images that capture the inspiring hope the president inspired and the agonizing rigors of the job he was elected to perform. The film spends little time on his Reagan years, except to note how media and image-savvy the former Hollywood actor and his wife were (Souza professes no political ill-will towards the Reagans, other than noting that while he didn’t always agree with him, he was a genuinely caring man, who at least understood the parameters of leadership). At first, the film trolls Trump by a sort of subtweet level of backhandedness: Without directly naming names, Souza makes it entirely clear who he finds failing in comparison to Obama’s empathetic, engaging deportment, but by the time the film comes around to his notorious IG account, there can be no doubt the subject of his ire. Souza maintains it has less to do with his partisan feelings (his political affiliation is never revealed), and more the way he finds the current president’s undignified manner and total disrespect for the office and the leadership it demands unacceptable. Trumpers will of course take great exception to the portrait the film portrays of the sitting president, but even the most hardcore GOP folks won’t be able to help noting the blatant differences between the loving, genuinely close Obamas; and the preening, viciously competitive Trumps, each trying to outdo the others in acting as their father’s primary sycophant.
In a year of bizarre happenings, and altered realities, TIFF has shifted its gears to a significantly paired down virtual festival. Thus, U.S. film critics are regulated to watching the international offerings from our own living room couches.
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papermoonloveslucy · 3 years
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LUCY SHUNS AUDITIONS
July 21, 1950
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[In the below article, reprinted verbatim, Johnson writes using a lot of imagery and insider jargon.  This sort of article was common in trade papers like Variety, but seems odd in a daily newspaper.]
Hollywood—(NEA) Lucille Ball slipped me the lowdown on her failure to pin to the canvas the dumb chick role in “Born Yesterday” and make it holler uncle. (1)
She’s got a touch of Francis the mule in her when it comes to auditions. (2)
Instead of scrimmaging for the role with Evelyn Keyes, Judy Holliday, Marie Wilson, Shelly Winters and Jan Sterling, (3) Lucille went bolting the other way. 
The “let’s-see-if-you’re-it” boys pleaded and cajoled. 
But Miss Anti-Auditions wasn’t having any of the competition, thank you. 
“I figure if they want you, they want you,” Lucille plainspoke it. If you’ve got to read and test for it, to heck with it.’
She isn’t chronicled in Hollywood history, but once, badgered by her RKO bosses, Lucille went tripping over to David O. Selznick’s office for a whack at the Scarlett O’Hara role in “Gone With the Wind.” 
That’s what curdled her in the first place. 
“It was awful,’’ Lucille shudders. I was shaking all over when I hit Selznick’s office. My knees gave way. I did the whole audition in scrubwoman position. Selznick laughs and says thanks a lot. (4)
Judy Holliday landed the junkman’s doll role and Lucille grabbed a railroad ticket for a personal appearance tour with hubby Desi Arnaz. She strutted to Latin rhythms, swung a glittering purse in a manner dear to runaway girls and wisecracked for the customers. (5)
MIMICS OSCAR WINNER 
At the last moment she nixed a dancing and singing routine. The star with the forest-fire hair shrugged: 
“I decided it would be silly to compete with Grable.” (6)
A lot of movie queens laid in fresh supplies of smelling salts, ice beanies and copies of “Release From Nervous Tension” when word got around that Lucille was about to whoop it up on the six-a-day circuit. (7)
She’s a blister-raiser from way back and the air was shrill with ouches about a year ago when she whipped up an impression of an Academy Award winner. 
But the girls can go back to worrying about other things—like shrinking from larger-than-life to television screen size. 
Lucille didn’t let any “furriners” see the routine. 
“It's for Hollywood only," she said. “I should take radio-active material on the road?” 
Her Oscar-grabber routine is strictly for unreal anyhow, she says. and no blood relation to Bette Davis, Olivia de Havilland, Ingrid Bergman or any other Screen Duse. (8) She insisted:
“She's any movie star, even me. This character has to go up on that stage and act surprised. She’s only been rehearsing what she's going say flor eight weeks. So she says, ‘Ye gads, me?  But I’m so unprepared. Really, I didn’t dream...” Lucille is generally is as unflinching about the movie queen business as Pearl White was about onrushing trains. (9)
But her knees executed some wobbles that aren’t in Arthur Murray’s rhumba dance book when she checked into her first vaudeville dressing room. (10)
“Those stages—they’re so big.” she gasped. “Hey, I’d hate to get caught in the middle of one of those stages without bread and water.” 
Lucille didn’t take any chances with out-of-town press interviews, either. “I once did a personal appearance tour with Maureen O'Hara and had to show up at a press party,” she grinned. (11)
My sinus - I just die from it - was acting up. The reporter next to me didn’t understand my puffed eyes and cold sores. He called Maureen a lady in his story. But he referred to me as a whisky tenor with red-runny eyes.” 
Lucille’s brain cells work on direct current and she’s not one to make with the figure eights when a straight glide to home base would get her there quicker. 
They still laugh about her exit line to Louis B. Mayer. (12) Mayer always referred to her as a thoroughbred and sometimes compared her to his famous horses. "Yes, and like your other nags, I'm leaving your stable," Lucille said when she decided to bow out of her contract. 
She has high hopes for her new picture “The Fuller Brush Man.” Not that she enjoyed it: (13)
“Honey, this ones that I don t enjoy turn out be the best ones.  This one put me in the hospital. My feet are still bandaged up. I’m a mess. No more physical-type pictures for me.”
#   #   #    FOOTNOTES FROM THE FUTURE
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(1) The 1946 Broadway hit comedy Born Yesterday by Garsin Kanin was bought by Columbia Pictures. Things got complicated when its stage star, Judy Holliday, swore she would not do the film version. Columbia used this as fuel for publicity about who would win the role.  Naturally, Lucille Ball was considered a top contender.  As the article states, she was not eager, however, to prove her worth to the ‘let’s-see-if-you’re-it’ boys (aka producers).  There was talk of Lucille performing the play in London, or summer stock, but her film contracts would not allow her time off for a stage run. 
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(2) Mules are supposedly notoriously stubborn animals - just like Lucy. Francis the Talking Mule was the star of seven popular Universal-International film comedies. The character originated in the 1946 novel Francis by David Stern III, adapting his own script for the first entry, simply titled Francis.  On “I Love Lucy” Fred Mertz sometimes called Ethel “Francis” to indicate she was being stubborn about something. 
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(3) These were some of the Hollywood stars looking to play the part of Billie Dawn in the film Born Yesterday. Evelyn Keyes (1916 – 2008) was best known for playing Sue Ellen, Scarlett O’Hara’s kid sister, in Gone With The Wind (1939).  Judy Holliday (1921-65), changed her mind about playing the role she originated on Broadway, but by then the casting net was cast, and she was just another performer on the short list. She eventually got the role, which defined her career. Marie Wilson (1916-72) was a zany comedic actress in the style of Gracie Burns. She was widely known as the star of radio and TV’s “My Friend Irma”. Shelley Winters (1920-2006) would be nominated for an Oscar the year after this article. She was adept at playing drama and comedy, and had a long-lasting career in Hollywood.  She appeared on “Here’s Lucy” in 1968; Critics raved about her Jan Sterling’s portrayal of Billie Dawn in the Chicago touring company of Born Yesterday and Columbia brought her out to the West Coast to test for the film. At one point, she was actually announced to play the part but the role ultimately went to Holliday.
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(4) Lucille Ball did indeed read (not screen test) for the role of Scarlet O’Hara, just like nearly all of the women in Hollywood in 1938. Ball told the story several times on television, each time with varying details, but probably most completely on “Bob Hope’s Unrehearsed Antics of The Stars” (1984).
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(5) This is a vivid description of the “Cuban Pete / Sally Sweet” portion of Lucy and Desi’s nightclub act to convince sponsors to buy them as a couple. 
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(6) Betty Grable (1916-73) was considered one of the most famous pin-up girls in history. In addition to her million dollar gams (legs), she could sing, dance, and act, too. She guest starred with her then-husband Harry James on “Lucy Wins A Racehorse”, an installment of “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” aired on February 3, 1958.
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(7) “Release from Nervous Tension” was an actual best-selling book by Dr. David Harold Fink, published in 1950. Vaudeville and Burlesque shows were often known as the ‘six-a-day circuit’ because sometimes there would be as many as six performances of the same act in a day.  Naturally, this did not apply to Lucy and Desi, who were big film and radio stars at the time. 
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(8)  These were some of Hollywood’s top-line dramatic actors. Bette Davis (1908-89) had won two Oscars, and was nominated for several others during her long career. She was supposed to guest-star on “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” in “The Celebrity Next Door” in 1957 but dropped out after a horse-riding accident, leaving the role to Tallulah Bankhead; Olivia de Havilland (1916-2020) had also won two Oscars, the second the year this article was published. She was best remembered for playing Melanie Wilkes in Gone With The Wind (1939); Ingrid Bergman (1915-82) was a Swedish-born actress, who, by career’s end, had scored three Academy Awards.  When Johnson talks about “any other screen Duse” he is referring to Eleonor Duse (1858-1924), an Italian-born stage actress known for her grand, dramatic style.  
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(9) Pearl White (1889-1938) was best known as the silent film actress who was tied to the railroad tracks in “The Perils of Pauline” (1914).  
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(10) Arthur Murray (1895-1991) was a ballroom dancer and businessman best known for the chain of dancing schools that bear his name. Murray was often a punchline on “I Love Lucy,” especially when the subject of dancing came up. The Rhumba was a Latin dance that took America by storm in the late 1940s and 1950. Desi Arnaz often called his orchestra a ‘rhumba band.’ 
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(11) Maureen O’Hara (1920-2015) and Lucille Ball had starred in Dance, Girl, Dance in 1940. As a result, the two went on a promotional tour that took them to several US cities, including the nation’s capitol. 
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(12) Louis B. Meyer (1884-1957), along with Samuel Goldwyn and Marcus Loew of Metro Pictures, had formed a new motion picture company called Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM) in 1918. Over the next 25 years, MGM was "the Tiffany of the studios," producing more films and movie stars than any other studio in the world. Mayer became the highest-paid man in America, and one of the country's most successful horse breeders. Both he and MGM reached their peaks at the end of World War II, and Mayer was forced out in 1951, just a year after this article was written. 
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(13) Erskine Johnson gets the title wrong. Lucille had madeThe Fuller Brush Girl, a sequel to The Fuller Brush Man (1948).  The film was released in mid-September 1950. 
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writerkenna · 4 years
Text
HP Next Gen Headcanons/Faceclaims
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Fred Weasley II
Born January 2007
Parents: George Weasley and Angelina Johnson 
House: Hufflepuff
Headcanons:
LOVES his mama big time, totally a mama’s boy, in a good way. Has many special moments with Angelina just the two of them
Also, he is particularly close with his paternal grandparents. Molly and him like to tend to the garden together and Arthur shows him how radios work
He is so sweet, much softer of a personality than either his mum or dad, and is a truly wonderful friend to all his cousins
However, this doesn’t mean he can’t crack jokes and horse around just as great as his dad
Plays as Hufflepuff chaser from year 4 on, even though he’s not particularly amazing at quidditch, because a lot of his friends are on the team and his mom and aunt were a FREAKIN HOLYHEAD HARPIES
His parents get special permissions to see his first match, and George yells so loudly that he nearly gets kicked out of the stands
Feels a lot of pressure to live up/be a replacement for his namesake, which he tells his gran, who lets him know that his Uncle Fred would just want him to have joy in his life as himself, and that’s what the family wants too
Does a year of working at Wizarding Wheezes after he graduates (with O’s in Herbology, DADA, and Care of Magical Creatures), but his dad and him butt heads on pricing and products so much that his mum makes him quit for the family’s sake
His best friends are Oliver Wood’s daughter, Marnie, and Katie Bell’s son, Jackson
He also sees a lot of Rose, though, who has been instructed by his mum to keep an eye on him
Late bloomer, stays very young looking for a long time
Doesn’t have his first kiss until after graduation
Queer/Questioning
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Roxanne Weasley (China Anne Mcclain)
Born January 2008
Parents: George Weasley and Angelina Johnson 
House: Gryffindor
Headcanons:
Probably the closest of any of the cousins to Fred’s reincarnation
Her mum and dad receive a letter about twice a month on something she’s done that disruptive or wrecked some sort of havoc on the school. They give her a talking to about, but, when no one is looking, both give her a high five
The best Beater Gryffindor has seen in long time
She owns a light beige rat named Earwax, which her Uncle Ron checks about a million times to make sure it is not a witch or wizard in disguise
Loves her cousin Rose, but if she has to get one more lecture on using a daily planner for homework, she will slug that girl in the face
Loves her ‘Irish twin’ status with Fred. They are super close and tend to have a habit of sneaking into each other’s dorms 
She loves getting her friends the ‘friends’ discount at Wizarding Wheezes and knows just which products to recommend to them
Both her and Fred played little league quidditch from ages 6-10
Spends a month of each summer with her mum and her parents once they start to get sick to help take care of them
Bisexual
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Hugo Granger-Weasley (Cameron Boyce)
Born March 2008
Parents: Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger
House: Hufflepuff
Headcanons:
His dad’s absolute best mate. Ron might have teared up a little when he left for school
Although, that is not say his mum doesn’t adore him as well. Specifically, adore to baby him
Growing up, Hugo was the most rough and tumble, clumsy boy, always a bruise somewhere on him and running around without looking what’s in front of him. That trait never really goes away
Is a ridiculously LOUD kid, can hear him coming from a mile away. McGonagall, who is nearing the end of her career once Hugo arrives, hears his voice on September 1st in the Great Hall and thinks, ‘Merlin, another Weasley’
He and Rose both did private muggle primary schools. He keeps in touch with a few muggle friends
His mum works full time at Ministry (on track for minister by age 45, mind you), so when not in school, he goes with his dad into Wizarding Wheezes. Fred and Roxanne are often there too, which gives them a good stockpile of inside jokes for Hogwarts
LOVES to watch quidditch, but can’t play for his life. He’s just a bit too scatterbrained and flimsy for the game. He’ll go to all of Auntie Roxanne’s games, however
Destined to be a healer, which he learns when he falls and breaks his arm in year 4. Watching Madam Pomfrey work amazes him
Asexual, panromantic
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Lily Luna Potter (Sadie Sink)
Born August 2008
Parents: Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley
House: Gryffindor 
Headcanons: 
Harry Potter’s child through and through
And, that meaning, if anyone could pull of a line as wonderful as ‘there’s no need to call me sir, professor,’ it’s Lily Luna
Of her many, many, many cousins, both official and non-official, the one she is closest with is Dominique, who’s a tough girl just like her
She is also buddies with Roxanne (she calls her Rox) and helps her prep for each test she takes in their common room
Prefect in fifth year
Grandpa Arthur’s little angel (also sometimes a little devil, but he loves that part too)
She knows how to repair a muggle car engine, thanks to him
Inherited her namesake and her mum’s perfect, wonderful red locks
Speaking of namesakes, Lily Luna has always been delightfully amused by her godmother, Luna
Luna takes her with Daisy and Helena to festivals in strange lands, where Luna somehow always knows the language
She sends Luna an owl after she gets her O in Divination, and Luna sends her back a shriveled pixie foot, which is supposedly good for the mind
Daisy and Helena also become sort of her unofficial big sisters
Being raised among two boys, one of which is a prat and the other a bit of an edgelord, Lily is one tough cookie. She doesn’t falter easy. This girl’s a fighter
Straight
4/5 of Next Gen Headcanons
23 notes · View notes
blankdblank · 5 years
Text
Anaticula Pt 14
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Pt 1 - Pt 2 - Pt 3 - Pt 4 - Pt 5 - Pt 6 - Pt 7 - Pt 8 - Pt 9 - Pt 10 - Pt 11 - Pt 12 - Pt 13 -
Dinner was filled with a cross table argument with Ron in his aim to get you to play him just one more game of chess in his claim he could finally beat you with how he had been practicing. Through your relenting move to sit by Neville across from him Draco took Harry’s side with a wide grin, “I got a letter from uncle Sirius, he filled out the papers. Oh, and he found that permission slip of yours. Sent it in as well.”
“Ooh, goodie. Thought he’d forgotten all about that slip.” Turning your head at Draco’s turn to talk to Hermione you asked Neville, “How did you like Sprout’s?”
His face lit up and he shared his lessons and all the notes he shared with her before Hermione shared her day at your asking, including the odd lesson Quirrell had given, far more restrained than yours had been.
They all shared their favorite courses of the day until you stood at the ache in your stomach saying, “Gotta head down to start on some homework.” Hermione popped up joining you along with the twins and Percy to do the same while Neville accepted Ron’s challenge. But in your departure the boys grouped up sharing their next plan.
.
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Choir practice at 10 went smoothly, even in bringing Trevor to his first practice he had followed you to. An eerie chill filled the air as you stopped halfway to your dorm in the moonlit hall wondering at the silence around you soon broken by footsteps not belonging to you in a rapid pace. Turning around you eyed Percy hurrying towards you with a comforted wave washing over his panicked expression. Panting softly he said, “I hoped I’d find you here.”
“What’s wrong?���
“Well, I was on my rounds and I heard Ron out in the corridor.”
“What would he be doing out?”
Percy shrugged, “But I could have sworn I heard Harry earlier and then Ron was out too. They won’t listen to me.”
You nodded saying, “Let’s get them and drag them back again from whatever they’re plotting.”
.
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Through a maze of halls Percy said, “This is where I heard them.”
You nodded and reached into your back pocket drawing out your folded map, giving it a gentle tap with your wand you whispered, “I solemnly swear I am up to no good.”
Percy raised a brow then leaned over your shoulder eyeing the enchanted map, “So that’s how you lot get around so well for the turners. I’ve tried making maps before.”
You chuckled easing the folds open until you saw them, “Just a few doors over.” By you he hurried checking the map that no teachers were around to catch him off his rounds seeing your names hurrying towards the other duo standing still.
Hastily you let yourselves into the room and closed the door behind you eyeing the startled pair in front of the mirror. Percy huffed and said, “Your curfew was hours ago. Now back to bed before I have to inform Professor McGonagall.”
Ron pointed at the mirror, “Perce, you have to see this, I’m Head Boy and just won the Quidditch Cup!”
Percy’s brow rose and he let out another huff moving by Ron to stare at the mirror, “No. I am clearly Head Boy. And the House Cup…? What is this?”
Moving closer you eyed the inscription around the rim reading, ‘erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi’ then you looked to Percy saying, “It looks enchanted to show you what you desire most.”
Harry pointed at it, “All I see are my parents.”
Lowering your eyes to him you sighed resting your hands on his shoulders, “You should not be out of bed. There are a million different things that could hurt you if you bumped into them.”
Ron chortled, “What, like your basilisk?”
You locked your eyes on him, “There are far worse hexed items in this castle, hexes that could kill in an instant if not countered correctly. Now, bed.”
Harry, “But we have to know what Snape did with Quirrell!”
Ron nodded, “Ya! We saw Snape shoving him into a wall, mumbling real low like and we had to hide in here or he’d have seen us sneaking after him.”
“You need to get to bed.”
Harry, “But Snape..!”
“Harry, there are things you don’t understand-..”
He stopped his foot, “Like what?! Like how Snape has done nothing but be rude to our entire class and pick on you, Fred and George with no proof while clearly targeting Quirrell! I saw him slip something into his orange juice-!”
“Harry!” You sighed and he stopped talking as you lowered to his level, “Quirrell went on sabbatical over the summer-.”
Ron chuckled, “Ya, ran into a vampire in the Black Woods.”
“He found someone much worse than that in those woods.” Their grins fell, “Harry, Quirrell isn’t himself, he hexed most of our class today. Snape and the other Professors are trying to keep an eye on him until a cure can be found. And I need you to promise me you won’t go after him alone again.”
Harry, “What would he do? We’re just kids.”
“Yes and we were toddlers when Riddle tortured and killed my Mum and then killed your parents before trying to use the Killing Curse on us.” His lips parted at your bluntness, “Harry, it doesn’t matter that you’re a child, you meddling is a threat, and trust me what Quirrell found won’t care who meddles, he will kill you.”
Ron, “You’re serious?”
“Yes. The war was never won, it just stopped when Riddle supposedly died. Now his followers, they’re still out there, waiting for a sign to start up again, and we have to learn to protect ourselves.”
Percy, “And that is exactly why you two should focus more on your studies, we won’t always be around to help you.”
“And you shouldn’t start on racking up detentions. I got into one fight my first year and I’m in the Choir for seven years.” Making Ron’s brow inch up.
Percy, “And as for Snape, he’s a strict teacher with a rough personality. Always has been, even more so with his best students. He expects a lot from us and pushes us to achieve greater.”
“Besides, our dads really tormented him in school. He grew up with our mums. So he’s just trying to see who you’re more like. Did the same with me.”
Ron drew in a breath then asked, “Can we at least see what it shows you?”
Stepping in front of it you eyed the blank mirror the boys all grouped around you, all open mouthed seeing a glowing ball of silver light in your place, “Apparently, I want to be a, glowing ball…” shaking your head you said, “I need to go to bed.”
Ron, “That’s so weird.”
Harry, “Perhaps it’s like an energy thing. You want to be well rested..?”
You shrugged glancing back at it, now seeing you as the glowing ball surrounded by the two stoic tall blonde men on either side of you turning their heads to look at you resting their hands on your shoulders. Furrowing your brows you turned away and focused on taking the boys back up to Gryffindor Tower.
.
Staring up at the Fat Lady Portrait you caught her eyes looking you over at Harry’s saying the password. She swung open and you grinned at Ron asking, “Could you take Trevor up?”
Ron nodded, “Sure,” Accepting the toad into his palm from your jacket pocket, “No doubt Neville is waiting up for him. Night.” He looked you both over as Harry did in your turn to trot down the steps again, both starting up a hushed conversation when the portrait closed behind them.
Percy after the first flight said, “You do realize they didn’t give you their word.”
You nodded, “At least they didn’t lie.”
Chortling to himself he replied, “True. No doubt we will have many sleepless nights this year.”
You giggled softly, “Not to mention what trouble they will get into in the years to come.”
In a glance at you he grinned saying, “It is hard to imagine us giving Mum such trouble.”
A soft gasp left you, “Oh we wouldn’t dare! She would skin us alive! The occasional explosion, sure, we were kids-,”
He nodded, “Not to mention that time I turned the garage into a rainforest, but that was a simple fix.”
“Easily mended.” He chuckled at your spreading grin, “Even though I was the worst of the lot. Month in Azkaban, facing off against Fudge.”
“Stealing a Dragon, harboring a Basilisk. Still, not that terrible, only one fight in school, not bad.”
You giggled again, “It’s surprising that I’m hated by the Minister of Magic, had to spend time in Azkaban and still it’s not that bad.”
“I doubt Fudge hates you.” He stole a glance at you and chuckled saying, “Just your family.” Making you giggle again turning for the last flight of stairs.
“Did you read about Gringotts?”
He nodded, “No doubt they cannot grant them another dragon. It would break all the codices to hand them another creature to blind and chain up, Dragon or other deadly creature. It would be too cruel. If they want another one they would have to steal one.”
A door opening in the distance had you draw out your map again, only to see it was The Fat Friar and the Grey Lady on their nightly rounds calming you both at the chance to pass unseen through the front hall to turn down for another final set of stairs leading to the dungeons where your dorms were. A tight hug was stolen outside yours and Percy mumbled into your shoulder, “Night sis. Don’t forget your meditations.”
“I won’t. Careful round the portrait of Kiwis.” Making him grin and pull back heading for the final portion of his rounds as you passed through the hidden door that swung open after giving the proper knock to the right barrel lid.
Between the singing dangling plants and plushy couches around the copper edged tables, the round windows exposing the moonlit dandelions and grass swaying in a soft breeze contrasting the fire from the lit fireplace under the portrait of your founder greeting you as you passed with a kind nod before looking back to the seventh year continuing their debate over their favorite animated plants.
In your dorm a change of clothes met you in the bathroom with a fresh towel beside it under your comb to wash off your long day. After a shower you wound your hair back into a long crooked braid and grumbled your way onto your bed as the twins grinned from theirs while Cedric sprawled out across the stools by the heater editing his ideas for his column due at the next lunch.
Cedric, “Nice practice?”
Plopping onto your bed you groaned out, “Harry and Ron snuck out of their dorm after Snape.”
Twins, “Oh come on-..” Shaking their heads.
“Ya, they found this mirror when they hid, shows you what you most desire.”
Cedric, “That sounds cool.”
You rolled onto your side looking at them in your lean over the edge of your bed, “My big desire, I was a silver ball of light.”
The twins laughed as Cedric’s brows furrowed in asking, “Why?”
You shrugged, “Not a clue. Then I turned to leave and those blondes were on either side of silver glowing ball of whatever I was.”
Fred, “You got them boys back again?”
“Ya, had to say that the teachers have been looking after Quirrell cuz he’s not himself.”
George, “That’s not gonna help them behave you know.”
Groaning you turned and plopped onto your back, “I know.”
The twins chuckled and said, “Alright, onto our meditations.”
Cedric sighed standing up to move to his bed leaving his notebook on his table, “I’ll surely dream something for my column up-, I hope.”
“You can stay up.”
He shook his head, “Nah. Besides, Kettleburn said it would be a full class so we should rest up.” Laying across his bed after tugging off his sweater to close his eyes joining in on your group meditation at their insistence to help you strengthen your defense in your sleep hopefully at not having to do this alone.
All around odd dreams on talking shoes and mumbling potatoes left you in a confused haze to change for the day. At the sight of the bright yellow cacti flowering outside your window you opted for shorts and a muggle band shirt Regulus had bought you years prior with a walrus and a submarine. The boys around you tugged on their own shorts and varied t shirts in similar shades to yours they straightened one handed through brushing their teeth around you in their giggle inducing habit of sharing your mirror each day. Boots were tugged on with Puff coats resting on the straps of your bags.
Around your table after the walk up to the great hall you eyed the jumble of students in varying stages of exhaustion as those in the tower dorms were complaining about the heat and blustery night that your below ground level dorm had protected you from. A hearty breakfast brought on another set of herbs to cross off the list through your furrowed and focused gaze at the letter you had received from Bill off on a treasure hunting job.
Detailing an odd snake his team had managed to capture he sent to your home with a house elf that K should have set up in a habitat perfect for it. The main interest was the odd hum it gave off and its shimmering scales and color changing eyes that set one of his team into a trance until Bill repeated a calming phrase you would use for your agitated snakes halting its behavior enough to capture it.
Cedric, “Your dad?”
“No. Bill found me a snake. Apparently it can put people in trances.”
George, “Which breed?”
You shrugged, “I’ll have to check on it late to be certain. I can think of five breeds already, all of them absurdly rare. Must have startled it something awful.” Folding the letter you eased it into your bag focusing on your meal through Cedric’s listing off possible topics for him to write on lasting through your walk out towards the groupings of Winged Horse breeds you were to observe and care for on this class.
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Kettleburn, “Among the positives for owning a Winged Horse their owners are required by law to frequently cast Disillusionment Charms on them regularly.”
Loudly a roar sounded causing your class to jump and your eyes to turn to the shifting Forbidden Forest at the sound of racing hooves. Around you the other students joined the shifting horses inching away from the forest as the Professor stretched out his arm to guide you all in his move to draw his wand. Within a few moments the furious Chimera broke through the line of trees roaring again in full charge for you all making you inch closer whispering, “Professor…”
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In a glance back a you he nodded his head and you inched closer to his back only to watch the Chimera roar at the students causing them to inch back before her eyes locked on yours with her mind tapping yours. Steadily she moved closer to you, halfway circling you to press its head into your back nudging you towards the forest as Kettleburn asked, “What does she want?”
You shrugged in the steps she forced you through, “She just keeps saying come help.”
He nodded eyeing the twins through Cedric easing his camera out of his bag to steal a picture of her guiding you with her head to her side. With your lips parted you rested your hands on her back and hopped up to swing your leg over, timidly eyeing her through her back tensing at your hands gripping her mane before she took off. Kettleburn looked at the twins who nodded and shifted to phoenixes to race after you at the point of his wand in your race away.
Left behind Cedric grinned eying the pictures capturing your mounting her back and her racing off mumbling, “First ever Chimera steed!” The students around him nodded in agreement while Kettleburn stole one last glance after you, spotting Hagrid in his own path after you on the back of his tan Hippogriff outside his hut in hopes of aiding you.
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Through the dark forest you wondered where she was leading you to until you spotted the Centaurs breaking apart from a fallen horse body in the center of them they were watching over. With lips parted at her stopping you climbed down hurrying over to the body of the panting and whining Unicorn with a bloody gash on its neck teary eyed at its painful gasps for air you knelt in the silver pool around its chest. Above you Bane eyed the Chimera tentatively wondering why she allowed you to mount her until he watched a tear fall from your eye landing on the gash that started to heal through the boys transforming back again. “We found her like this. She was attacked last night.”
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Firenze among them stated, “It is the cruelest thing, to harm such a pure creature.”
The head of the Unicorn raised to peer up at you as it whined again still weak from blood loss. Bane continued, “It was a hooded figure.”
Twins gritted out, “Riddle.” Drawing the eyes of the herd to them.
Bane, “You know who did this?!”
“One of our Professors is possessed.”
Firenze, “Only one who has nothing to lose, and everything to gain, would commit such a crime. The blood of a unicorn will keep you alive, even if you are an inch from death, but at a terrible price. You have slain something so pure and defenseless to save yourself, you will have but a half-life, a cursed life, from the moment the blood touches your lips.”
Hagrid landed and gasped seeing the Unicorn, dismounting himself to inch closer bowing his head, “Bane, Firenze,”
Bane, “One among your kind is possessed?!”
“We’re working on that.”
Twins, “We’ll make certain this never happens again.”
Bane eyed the boys carefully and inhaled deeply then let it go as you summoned a tray of vials from your office in the chamber, “Hagrid, I’ll need an apple, or an orange.”
He nodded, “They prefer oranges.” Drawing his wand to summon one in his palm he peeled in scooting closer to your side as you raised the right vial and settled her head into your lap smoothing your free hand over her neck. “Venom can help this?”
“Hopscotch venom,”
He drew in a breath, “Yes, makes them gush blood.”
Bane, “She does not need to bleed more.”
You raised your eyes after adding a trio of drops to a slice, “No, it triples the body’s blood supply. We use it on blood loss victims. It only harms those without wounds.”
Bane nodded watching as you lowered your hand saying, “Please eat this.” A simple plea he translated to her she complied to, slowly chewing then swallowing the slice as your hand smoothed across her neck to the drop of more tears down your cheeks onto her fur twitching her muscles where they fell. Solidifying the conclusion you were no mere witch calming the Centaurs impression of the Chimera, a beast among their ranks sworn never to take a master or rider among the mortals no matter their rank.
In a deep inhale it was as if a flame lit inside the Unicorn, her light doubling in her shift to lay on her belly, folding her legs under her to eagerly eye the rest of the orange you split to offer her without the venom with a soft grin. “Now, you just rest up, eat plenty alright sweetheart?”
The bright sparkling blue eyes of hers fell on yours as you stroked her neck again through the relaxed grins of the Centaur herd at her return closer to health. Firenze shifted in his place asking, “She is healed now?”
“Still a bit weak no doubt, nothing a bit of rest could mend.”
Bane nodded, “We will have to double our watches,” he sighed deeply, “And contain their herd.”
George wet his lips, “Jaqi, that patch of forest on your grounds.”
Fred nodded, “Worst we have is that screeching owl family.”
“Well, past that screaming toad.”
Bane, “You have grounds that can protect them?”
Locking your eyes on his you said, “My family’s lands, we have a bit of forest they could remain in until we handle the possession.”
The herd shifted a few feet away and held conference as you zapped the container of vials back to your office inside the Chamber of Secrets and wiped your cheeks and glanced up to Hagrid who gave you a supportive nod. Turning back to you Bane stated, “We will gather the herd, though five among our herd will go with them to ensure their safety.” A group of them raced off sounding horns to summon the glowing herd off hiding after the attack.
You nodded, “Of course. Whatever you need.”
Fred, “Opal will be glad for the new voices.”
Bane, “Opal?”
“Opal is a blinded Opaleye Dragon I rescued. I swear she won’t hurt any of you.”
Bane shook his head, “We are aware of that creature. Firenze spotted her with you a few times in your travels across our lands. She is a kind soul and well fed. We would be grateful for her added protection.”
It didn’t take long for the first to arrive, bright white with younger silver mares, both horned and hornless showing their age. The first group of golden foals arrived with more pure white Unicorns behind them. Shakily you rose to your feet and inhaled snapping your fingers to summon your doorway that led into your own forest Firenze was the first to enter and inspect with another Centaur.
Turning around they gave the all clear guiding the Unicorns through the doorway with a final pair of Centaurs to help the injured mare through after her soft thanks to you. Bane kept watch over you at their vanishing through the door that shut and then vanished once you gave the signal, steadily he said, “We will await word on their health and happiness.”
“I can summon the door to you daily, if you wish so you could check yourself.”
He shook his head, “Best the cursed one have no tether to them. We will leave him to you. You have bested a Basilisk, Dragon and Chimera, we will trust you in this.” You nodded and he said, “We have grounds to patrol.” Nodding his head in a farewell before he took off guiding his kin with him.
Turning around you rubbed your face, “Oh this is terrible.”
Hagrid moved closer to rub your back, “Don’t you go blaming yourself. We can’t protect all the beasts on the grounds at all times. Besides, now you’ve got them tucked away,” his head turned to the twins, “Wait, did you say Riddle?”
They nodded and you said, “Yes, Tom Riddle.” Making his lips part, “He’s possessed Quirrell.”
Hagrid scoffed, “No wonder he keeps asking bout Fluffy.”
You peered up at him, “How is Fluffy? Last we saw she was knee high.”
His grin tripled and he shared her size in the walk back to the class as the Chimera and Hippogriff had strolled off chatting with one another. Just in time for the final portion of the class you exited the forest making your way to the excited Professor who asked, “Everything alright?”
You nodded and the twins said with you answered, “A Unicorn was attacked.”
He gasped and moved closer, lowly asking, “What happened?”
“It was bled, had a gash on its neck. We managed to mend it. Still needs rest but she should be tip top tomorrow.”
Again he nodded then asked, “What attacked it?”
You shrugged saying, “The person was cloaked.”
Kettleburn, “Per-,” he gasped then asked even softer, “You don’t think it was Quirrell? He usually stays away from the forest but lately, he’s been asking all these questions…”
“For now at least, he won’t be able to find them again.”
Kettleburn nodded, “Good. I’ll be adding extra guard charms to our herds. Even some Gnomes if I have to.” Making you grin as he nodded his head, “Now, let’s give you a crash course.” Turning to guide you to the eldest of the herd already turned to watch your approach from the forest with a pleased expression to find you safely returned again after having heard the horns.
At the hour mark you were released and Cedric hurried to your side asking for all the details he copied down with an enchanted quill. From how the Chimera fur felt down to the full details on the attacked Unicorn along with the herd of Centaurs and their reaction to one of the innocent creatures being attacked at all for the first time ever.
..
A first draft of the story was finalized and tucked away by the time you entered your double DA class and a copy of the pictures tucked into your bag to send off to Newt in a response to his latest letter. Thankfully this lesson was much more subdued as it was focused entirely on vampires, discovering and fending them off.
History of Magic was next with a much more relaxed Professor Binns seeing you all safely through his door to sit for a short exam on the chapter he had given you to read through the day prior.
Herbology bled into Arithmacy you once again used your turner to get to freeing you into a two hour break that broke into lunch. The long break aiding in the inspection of your new snake as well as the list of ways to expose Riddle in hopes of guessing the best way to do so. A vision or daydream or even a single prickle in the back of your mind at one of them would have been helpful but you got nothing at all leaving you overly eager to eat and try to think of anything but this.
Lunch freed you into a stop to the outer courtyard to help Neville collect some trimmings from a shimmering bush while Draco shared all about this book he found in the library on the mishaps of transfiguring humans he found quite amusing and helpful for his lessons with McGonagall. Behind him Hermione flipped through the book he brought out rocking her crossed legs under the tall bench she was seated on through Harry’s first Quidditch practice.
Pt 15
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