#he’s not shooting the goats and I want to see what happens when you shoot goats!

[eshayteaparty]

Priceless (weeks, years, decades searching for you).

~Fandom(s): Hazbin Hotel

~Warning(s): swearing, tooth-decaying fluff, some angst (painful memories)

~Ship(s): Lucifer x f!reader 

~Word count: 2,630

~In which Charlie has decided to host a ball in the lobby of the Hazbin Hotel in hopes of attracting new sinners to a party, and neither you nor Lucifer have a partner for the night’s festivities- bringing you together and opening him up.

-♥+♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥+♥-

Since the start of the trust exercises programme in the Hazbin Hotel, Charlie had been seeing…less changes in her ‘clients’ than she would’ve hoped for. Steady changes, but minimal ones, easily reversed by one bad trip. 

This is what inspired her to host at a different time- games during the night, instead of the day, when people were busy. Like…a party. 

A ball.

When she had told Lucifer about this idea, he had been overjoyed. He had loved the celebration gracing the halls when the new hotel had finished being rebuilt, and had strived to keep up the positivity around the hotel as much as his daughter was. He had organised the ball with Charlie five minutes after she had suggested it, creating a whole poster on their collective ideas. Once they had a date that suited all who resided in the hotel- which just happened to be that same night- the plan was afoot.

Naturally, some sinners there asked each other to the ball, that along the lines of Charlie to Vaggie, Husk to Angeldust (which came as a shock to most), and Mimzy to Alastor, who was rejected and asked Rosie to have his hand instead. The sweet, platonic proposal led to a quarter of Cannibal Town attending as well, which of course meant some…’diverse’ decisions had to be made about the food. 

Despite playing a large part in organising the festivities, Lucifer hadn’t found a partner of his own to accompany him. Originally he was going to ask Charlie for a dance with his daughter, whom he found out was very much occupied. Aside from that, he couldn’t really think of anybody else. He even planned to ask Alastor for shits and giggles. 

You had tossed your coin into the pond, hoping for a slice of luck or good karma, but unfortunately, it seemed that people outside of the hotel weren’t exactly easily-approached. Even timid, Sir ‘I’m having sex with everyone here’ Pentious had managed to score a date- but that was fair, you supposed. Why wouldn’t Cherry accept after that loving kiss on ex-extermination day?

For the past couple hours of the day, you had been distracting yourself with helping Charlie and Lucifer with decorations.You knew he was single, but you hadn’t allowed yourself to shoot your shot, one out of respect for Lilith, the woman ever present on Lucifer’s ring finger, and two because Lucifer had loudly announced his partner was to be…Razzle. You had felt your heart sink. You were there, you talked to him more often than not, and you were yet not enough of a companion to be acknowledged more than an air headed goat guardian. 

As you were hanging streamers, trying to get your predicament out of your head in favour of the promise of delicious food on the table that night, you felt a tap on your shoulder, and were swiftly met with the smiling, slightly sweaty face of the princess morning star.

“Y/n! Hey, don’t you want to go get ready?” Charlie herself was dressed in a beautiful crimson suit, even shinier than her battle costume. You smiled wistfully at the sight of her outfit.

You shake your head. “I’m not gonna stick around tonight, princess. I’ll be sleeping during the ball.”

Charlie looks mortified, and you hate to see her frown, even more so than the own one etched into your face. “But you have to come, y/n!” she presses on, and shakes you by the shoulders, making you a little winded. “At least tell me why not!”

“Because I don’t have anybody, Charlie!” The words come out before you can stop them, loud and shaky. “Nobody wants to go with me to this fuckin’ thing!” you sigh, looking down at your clenched hands and starting to walk away. “I’m better off on the side. Bein’ backstage was always my thing anyway.” 

As this conversation was going down, Lucifer had been working on the other side of the room, talking with Rosie- they had struck an unlikely friendship, resulting from manners and mutual respect. His eyes had gone wide as he had recognised the sound of you in distress, and as he watches you move hastily up the stairs, he feels his heart flutter. If only he was braver, he would’ve asked you in a tick.

With this mentality hammered in, he shakes Rosie’s hand and follows you up the stairs, down the hallway to where he’s memorised the location of your room- it isn’t hard to find you either way, and you slammed the door shut loud enough that it resonated through the first floor. He peeks through the crack in your door, his eyes meeting your back as you lie in a ball on your bed. Seeing you so demotivated makes him feel just as sluggish. With you usually being so uplifting and genuine, this is an unwelcome change.

He steps inside quietly, remembering you had said once that he was welcome any time, and he doesn’t greet you at first. Instead, he sifts discreetly through your open closet, biting his bottom lip.

“You don’t have any dresses, my dear.” His tone comes out as soft and caring. He holds out a few pieces of long fabric from your hanging clothing, thinking at first they’d be something fit for a ballroom, but the fanciest thing he can find is a dark, navy blazer with missing buttons. He turns to look at you on your bed. “I thought you might have at least a few.”

“I don’t need them.” you say raspily, wiping away lingering tear tracks from your cheeks. “I d-don’t go to clubs.”

He tuts gently at you, disappointed by this revelation. “Is it just because of how you identify? If that was the case, I’d imagine you have a suit, instead…don’t you?”

You sit up on your bed, huffing. “Why are you even in here?”

Lucifer simply smiles at you, hoping his expression appears comforting and not malicious. “I can’t have you missing out on his ball, darling. You were so very helpful in preparation. Your efforts simply shant go to waste.”

His eyes fall back on your closet, now looking for something different. “You certainly wear a lot of (colour).” he mutters, and a design forms in his head. He turns to you. “What size are you, darling?”

“Um…” you look down at yourself, a little embarrassed. “A…a (s/m/l)?” you just want him to get out already, but you’re alright to humour him for now. He looks you up and down, as if confirming for himself, and smiles softly. He presses his hands together, then slowly draws them apart, and soft, liquid gold light manifests between his fingertips. A soft, silky, beautiful (colour) dress, with off the shoulder, clear ruffle sleeves and a modest cut where your left thigh would be falls limp in his arms. He holds it up to you as your eyes soften with awe. 

“Is it to your liking, my dear?” he asks, bringing it over to you and holding it up by your body. “It’ll be a perfect fit, if my eyes aren’t deceiving me.”

You take the dress, biting your lip to suppress your giddy smile. “T-thankyou. Genuinely I…this is beautiful.” then you remember your predicament, and your expression tightens up again. “But I- I still don’t get why you’re doing this for me.”

Lucifer sighs fondly, coming forward to you and tilting your chin down so you have to meet his eyes. A nervous smile overtakes his lips. “Don’t you get it, my dear?” he asks gently. “I want you to accompany me to this ball. It doesn’t have to be a date yet, as I’m sorting out my own issues before I’m ready to….to cross that bridge again, but…I’d love for you to be mine for tonight.�� he takes your hands into his own, holding them in his own, warm and safe. “Please.”

Lucifer, the boss of hell himself, devoted to a woman who left him years ago, has just asked you to a ball. Your heart starts to beat a little faster, and you nod, trying not to sniffle. “I wish you’d a-asked me sooner. I didn’t prepare anything because I d-didn’t plan to go.”

He looks guilty now. “I'm so sorry, dear. I was…nervous. I thought asking Razzle would be easier.” he chuckles, which causes your own laughter to swell in your chest.

The newfound joy in your heart makes you reconsider. It rekindles the flickering fire inside of you, the one that yearns for his company.

"I'll come. I can't say no, now. Not after you've....you made this outfit for me."

He beams at you. “Fantastic! Now get ready, my starlet. The ball has already begun!” he turns on his heel, just as giddy as you, and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him for your privacy.

You slip into the dress he had left on your closet door for you, and it fits just right, hugging your every curve and making you feel more beautiful than you ever had. Looking in the mirror you felt as if it were your wedding day, even though you were only attending a party in the lobby of the hotel you’re staying in. you do a quick face of makeup, patting your cheeks and squealing again when you see just how pretty you are again- and after collecting yourself, you slowly open your door, meeting the glistening eyes of your date.

“You…” 

‘Your beauty is ethereal, my darling. If I could spend the rest of my immortal life gazing into your porcelain eyes, I would trade in all that I own for it. You make me feel something I haven’t since…her’. 

He shakes his head free of those thoughts. Overkill. 

“You look breathtaking, my dear.” He offers out his hand, and you take it. “Away we go.” 

As the two of you leave the hallway and descend the stairs, you can feel eyes start to fall on you. Somehow, so much time had passed during your chat with King Morningstar, that the sky outside has already dimmed to the smokey grey of passing clouds. You smile shyly down at your friends and acquaintances below, feeling your cheeks heat up as you approach them at the last step. “Hi guys.”

Charlie and Angeldust come for you at once, breaking you out of Lucifer’s tender hold, and you squeak as they wrap you up in a warm embrace. 

“You’re fuckin’ owning it, toots!” Angeldust gently tugs on your transparent sleeve. “Holy hell! It’s only a party, doll!”

“It’s t-too much?” you ask slowly, seeking encouragement. Your friends are right there to give you just that.

“Never!” he says hastily. “Never too much. You’re beautiful.” Angel stoops down a little, pecking you on the forehead before turning away and trotting back over to Husker. You’re left with Charlie, who still hasn’t let you go.

“I-I know this is just a…a party…y/n…but…” her words grow heavy, and you come to find out she’s crying- you cuddle her back, as Lucifer’s arm winds itself around your lower back. “I-I’d be h-happy if you wanted to pursue my dad.”

Hearing this makes your heartbeat flicker. Words can be so strong, no matter how loud- and hers were uttered in only a whisper, in fear of her making her Dad feel guilty over his decisions in the past again. You nod, and sniffle yourself, cuddling her tighter as you express gratitude for her blessing. “You’re a real gem, Charlotte. Thank you so much.” 

She sighs, and embraces her dad, whispering to him too before walking back to join Vaggie and wiping her eyes. Lucifer takes your hand again, leading you towards the floor where Rosie is waiting. She sweeps you up into a hug, twirling you and making you shriek at her pure strength. 

“Oh my stars, y/n!” she hollers, her sharp teeth making her smile all the more brighter. “Ya look like royalty right here!” 

“Thank you.” you reply, your voice shaking with happiness. You fiddle with the slit in the dress just above your knee. “Lucifer designed it for me.”

Rosie kisses your cheeks, then bends down towards Lucifer, shaking both of his hands. “You’ve done her justice, ya highness! Look at this! Are we sure she ain’t one of Adam’s exes?”

Both you and Lucifer end up laughing at this, and he shakes his head, running his hand up your back. “I’m sure,” he says softly, with a cheeky undertone, “she was mine from the start, Miss Rosie.” 

Rosie opens her mouth to say more, but the music has changed to a slow dance. She gasps, overjoyed. “That’s the couple’s queue! I gotta find Alastor!” she tucks your hair behind your ears, smiling at you. “I hope to see ya dancin’, lovey!~ ta ta!” she picks up her own burgundy gown, and hurries off, her heels clacking as the slow, romantic song starts to blare out around the lobby and couples take each other in their arms. 

Lucifer looks up at you, holding out his hand. 

“Would you care to dance with me, y/n?”

You smile softly, and take his shoulders in your hands, his own around your waist. He walks you around the room, twirling you rhythmically to the beat of the music and looking up at you like he’s just seen the northern lights for the very first time, dancing in his vision. He moves you with grace and care, as if you were made of glass in the window of a church. Stained with a messy, tragic story, but formatted in the glossy, unmatchable shape and beauty of an abstract mosaic. In his eyes, you were priceless. 

You long to kiss him, you truly do. You long to have your lips on yours, but the shiny, year-old band on his finger is a harrowing reminder- this is all supposed to be platonic.

He can sense that you’re feeling down. He can see it in your eyes; the way your demeanour droops like a wilting flower. He gently angles your chin back to where it was, just so he can see your eyes again. 

“What weighs on your soul, my dear?”

“I…” you swallow, holding him a little tighter. “I’m sorry. I’m selfish, aren’t I? I-I want-” your breath gets stuck in your throat, like hot toffee has blocked up your oesophagus. “I want to…kiss you. But I know I can’t.”

Lucifer’s thoughts start to tick by a mile a minute. A kiss. You genuinely want to kiss him, to take that next step. For him, though, it’d be a leap. A leap away from what he knows. From what he trusts. From the last decade he’s lived, the changes made up until this point all threadbare. Away from the day his nightmare became reality, seven years ago.

Away from Lilith.

He fidgets with the golden chain around his finger for only a moment, before the music starts to swell. To pick up, from piano to mezzo forte. 

In that moment, the beat is only one of the three things that drops. 

The second one is his facade. The one he’s put up for years. The one of hope, the one of happiness, the one that told the few people he held a little closer than a distance that he was alright. He was fine. Occupied by the physical silence, but driven crazy by the uneven orchestra bashing cymbals in his skull every day of his life, a constant symphony of grief and regret. Rubbed out. Erased. 

He was not fine.

But the third and final thing to drop was you. Up on his hip, your back pressing against his left forearm as he lowered you by the floor and blossomed anew, pressing his mouth to yours with longing that had lasted for just under a decade, though it had felt like the span of an entire lifetime. 

And in that moment, he was.

-♥+♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥.♥+♥-

This took me so long to write, but I hope you guys like it because I think it’s genuinely beautiful. Thank you for reading this and please repost it to spread it around if you want. Xx

#lucifer #lucifer morningstar #hazbin #hazbinhotel #hazbin hotel #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer x reader #reader x lucifer #fanfic #fanfiction #huskerdust #reader x character #fics #myfics #gay #alastor #rosie #angeldust #husk #charlie #charlie morningstar #hazbin charlie #vivzieverse #dancers #fluff #angst #tw swearing

[slavghoul]

Interview from Rock Hard [FR] Magazine 5/2023

In which Tobias talks about Spillways, Phantomime, how he chooses what songs to cover, the state of the world, why he loves churches, and some touring technicalities.

--

Rock Hard: Let's go back to the version of "Spillways" that you recorded with Joe Elliott, the singer of Def Leppard. How did this collaboration come about?

Unfortunately, this story is less sexy than it would have been if I could have done exactly what I wanted. Before Impera was released, I regularly mentioned Def Leppard in interviews because some of the experimentation on that album was inspired by that band, their writing style. […] As I often mentioned Def Leppard, people around me eventually told me that Joe Elliott and Phil Collen regularly spoke highly of Ghost in interviews. Since I obviously thought it was cool, someone suggested a collaboration. A good collaboration shouldn't be forced, it should happen naturally. The best ones are often the ones that weren't supposed to happen. Two drunk musicians somewhere accidentally writing a good song... Crosby, Stills & Nash style. People who, by chance, find themselves together in a different context from the one they are used to and do something together, by accident. Something magical! That's how I would ideally have wanted it to happen. So I said I was ready to call Joe Elliott and see if we had a rapport. We started talking on the phone and texting a lot, me living in Sweden and him in Dublin. As we were both on the move almost all the time, and he was on tour, we couldn't meet. Suddenly, out of nowhere, he tells me that he has recorded some vocals for 'Spillways'! Quite frankly, I was surprised because I wasn't expecting it. I was anticipating a possible collaboration, but in a different way. To be honest, I thought we would create something new later on. But when I heard the result, I thought two things. Firstly, I found it very flattering. Secondly, I thought Joe brought something new and cool to "Spillways".

But you would have preferred to have the opportunity to write a new song with him.

Yes, that's the way I saw it, but I'm happy with the way it turned out. And then I said to Joe, "You know how we post those funny little episodes on our social media?" He replied "Yes, I think I saw that!" and kindly agreed to participate in one of them. Nowadays, many artists are over-solicited to record video clips for anything and everything in order to keep their channels updated: "Come and see us in concert in such and such a city!", etc. etc. The aim is obviously to keep the media space occupied.

By creating "content"!

Exactly! And that's exactly what I don't want to do. That's why, instead of all this crap, we started some time ago to create these little humorous episodes. One day, for example, I came up with the idea of an episode set in 1969 featuring a sort of "pre-Ghost" group. To do this, I obviously had to write a new song, which I did with this psychedelic track, 'Kiss The Go-Goat', which I thought was funny. When we recorded it, 'Mary On A Cross', another song of the same type, came along. So we ended up with two sides of a single that became 'Seven Inches Of Satanic Panic.’ Instead of just announcing the release on our networks, we chose to shoot a new video in which we featured Papa Nihil and explained the origins of this so-called 'pre-Ghost' band. I thought it was a much more clever and fun way of presenting the single. We do the same when it comes to announcing an album release or a future tour. Joe Elliott has a great sense of humour and is capable of self-mockery, so he kindly agreed to play this little game.

Ghost have made a habit of releasing an EP between their albums, mostly, if not entirely, made up of covers: If You Have Ghost (2013), Popestar (2016) and now Phantomime. How is it not just about “creating content”?

For me, it's a kind of exercise. I like analogies. Let's imagine that the place we are in is a theatre, and that this theatre, in order to be viable, has to host performances all year round. At least fifty weeks a year. Daytime rehearsals, evening performances... You are the director of the place and you know that the play that is currently being performed there will end at the end of the month. So you look for something else to program in order to make the most of the place and keep your staff busy. Maybe an old classic like Doctor Glass (Hjalmar Söderberg, 1905), an adaptation of John Steinbeck, or a rereading of Shakespeare's Hamlet that you could revisit by inviting this actor or that director, renting out your theatre for three extra months for the occasion. Working on this old material, even if it means not releasing it if it doesn't work. We do that to keep the team active, enthusiastic, focused. That's my way of working. I worked simultaneously on the Impera album and the demos of the covers that are on Phantomime. One day I could record 'Spillways' and two hours before leaving the studio to go home, I could look at any of the covers and decide which ones to keep. So, as soon as Impera was finished, I was able to concentrate on those covers that the album's producer wasn't interested in putting on the record. Which was fine with me. I spent some time sorting out the covers I had recorded as demos. There were ten in total, but I only kept five. Because with those five tracks I thought I could come up with a really strong rock EP. In my albums, there are highs, lows, really metal tracks, ballads, instrumentals, etc. So I thought it was a good idea to make a really strong rock EP. I felt it would be cool if this new EP was viscerally rock’n’roll. The opening track, "See No Evil" by Television, sounds like the Rolling Stones on methamphetamine! (laughs)

You like the songs you cover, that's a prerequisite. But their lyrics also play a very important role in your choice.

Yes, that's what makes me choose a song or not.

Is that the number one criterion?

Erm... (he thinks for a long time) If I hesitate between two songs, yes, absolutely! Let's go back to Leonard Cohen, for example. For the bonus tracks of Prequelle, I chose "Avalanche" because it seemed to me to have a biblical and existential significance. This was not the case with 'Take This Waltz', another Cohen song that I liked as much, if not more. The latter, with its Viennese waltz feel, would have metaphorically taken us to Austria, which would not have been very coherent, unfortunately.

Should these covers speak about God, the Devil, ask questions about religion?

They must speak about evil, about good. Be existential, biblical, philosophical, but seen from a certain perspective. Or at least tick one of those boxes, like 'Hanging Around' (The Stranglers) which is about Christ. Some of the other covers I've recorded are more specific, such as 'Phantom Of The Opera' (Iron Maiden), which is about horror. I also make my choice according to the humour of the songs I want to cover. It should be close to my own sense of humour.

You mentioned the first Phantomime cover, "See No Evil". It takes on a different resonance today because, on January 28, 2023, we sadly learned of the death of Tom Verlaine, the leader of Television.

When I recorded this cover in 2021, just after completing Impera, it was already a tribute. But obviously, with Tom's death, this song takes on another resonance, that of a final posthumous salute. I've been listening to Television for twenty years, and I love them and have always considered them a great band. In indie clubs they always play the same song, 'Marquee Moon', but Television had many other good songs, especially on their first two albums: Marquee Moon (1977) and Adventure (1978). I like those two best. It's a band that had a huge influence on one of my previous bands, Subvision. So much so that at the time, I thought several times of covering Television songs that I loved: "See No Evil", but also "Elevation" and "Foxhole".

The first single from Phantomime is Genesis' 'Jesus He Knows Me', a scathing critique of televangelist stars like Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker and Robert Tilton. Ugly people who have made their fortune by 'promising salvation’ to naive believers for big bucks. Can we expect to see you wearing a wig in its video, as singer/drummer Phil Collins did in the original video for this song in 1991? 

(Laughs) We've already shot the video for this cover version (editor’s note: the interview was conducted on 11 March 2023) and I'm not in it, but it's a direct nod to the original video. I've always liked this song - except for the reggae part, which I thought was horrible in the Genesis version and which I reworked - and it's funny to see how this 1991 text is still relevant today. Except, of course, for a few "old-time" words, like "phone book". The televangelists are still there on television promising things to people who take their word for it and shower them with money because they are assured of "salvation", they are promised heaven. I also rearranged Iron Maiden's 'Phantom of The Opera' after taking care to contact Steve Harris for his approval.

Indeed, in your retelling of this song, you are the Phantom and not its victim...

Yes, I wanted to be the Phantom. I submitted the idea to Steve, who gave me the green light. I only made some surgical changes. Similarly, I would have liked to have proposed the same thing to Phil Collins so that the text of "Jesus He Knows Me" would have been more in line with the times. Change, for example, "but she don't know about my girlfriend / or the man I met last night" to "or the dude I screwed last night". Alas, lack of time prevented me from doing so. And then, since this was a slippery slope, I thought: - What if Collins refuses? Or what if he gets pissed off? - We could have made these changes without asking anyone's permission - as long as the artists get their royalties, it's not a problem - but there was no way I was going to do it. Neither I nor my label wanted to alienate anyone, obviously.

In 1977, in "Hanging Around" by The Stranglers, which you also cover on Phantomime, the singer Hugh Cornwell sings about several things, but also about Christ "telling his mother not to worry because he's comfortable in the city where he's high above the ground". Is that why you chose it?

Actually, the key thing that made me choose this song from the band over any other is that I grew up listening to the album it's taken from, Rattus Norvegicus (1977), the Stranglers' first release. There are a lot of songs on that album that I would have loved to play because, as a musician, I really like to play those kinds of songs. ‘Hanging Around' was a good fit for us because of the lyrics, but also because it was more in keeping with our style. Ghost are obviously a metal and hard rock band, but also have a strong punk sensibility. Punk, but well played (smiles). For me, The Stranglers have always done "well played punk": this band knows how to play, how to arrange its music, unlike GBH and Discharge, to name but two. Mind you, I also like the latter, but not for the same reasons. A lot of punk bands from the late 70s/early 80s sounded "sloppy". It wasn't for lack of trying to play better. When The Clash and The Jam went into the studio, they tried to do their best and they sounded great! The same goes for The Adverts. Those guys were doing their best. Nowadays, some people think that being a punk is to play badly on purpose, to be messy. No, no, no ! But I digress...

What is the reason for the nod to Metallica's 'Fade To Black' in the solo on 'Hanging Around'?

Just for fun. When I'm working on a guitar solo, I throw things in here and there, like a messy painter. It's like stretching a canvas on a wall and making big brush strokes... But when I start to feel like I've got something cool, I dig in more surgically, a bit like a collage artist would. I interweave little elements, and when it comes time to insert a solo into a piece, I refine things by continuing to add new elements. Generally, a solo gives you a space of freedom in the middle of an otherwise totally structured song. That's when you can come up with different things in terms of melody. So that's the way I do it, even on the demos of the covers. I ask my sound engineer, Martin Eriksson Sandmark, to play me the draft of the solos I've been working on over and over again, and then I try out different things, whatever comes to mind. It's as if I'm drawing a mental map of what the solo will become. Sometimes, if I'm on a part sometimes, if I'm on a bluesy part, I'll let myself play a few notes of Gary Moore’s "Still Got The Blues", or, if I'm tapping, Van Halen's "Eruption". When I was working on the solo for 'Hanging Around', I felt like playing this part of Metallica's 'Fade To Black', just for fun. And it ended up on the demo. I'm a decent guitar player, but I'm not at the level I could have reached if I'd worked harder. I could just record these solos in the studio, where you can always slow things down when you play them and then speed them up and put them on the album, but Fredrik Akesson can play these parts without tricks and with much more finesse than I can. He recorded the solo for "Hanging Around" as I had presented it on the demo, with this nod to Metallica, and we thought it was so cool that we kept it.

Hugh Cornwell, the ex-singer of The Stranglers, said in an interview that, although he was not a believer, he loved visiting churches. Is this also true for you? Are you also attracted to churches?

Yes, passionately! I believe in them like I believe in Star Wars. I've always thought of churches as stage props. Walking into one of them is a bit like walking onto a film set of the original Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom. It's awe-inspiring, even though you know it's just cardboard. Churches have magical powers because they are centuries-old buildings and we know that a lot of things have happened within their walls. Not that I'm trying to throw up on these places of worship, but when I go into a church I don't hear God, but the whispers of time. I am not an atheist, although intellectually I can see that there are many reasons why I should be. I believe in a Force, in an Energy. I also believe that we don't know many things, but that there is a balance between these different energies. The white and the black.

Good and Evil...

Absolutely! Right now the world is in crisis, but we're going to get through it. It's a vicious circle. We do ourselves a disservice if we think that if the world were rid of people like Vladimir Putin, Alexander Lukashenko, Jair Bolsonaro and the ayatollahs of Iran and Iraq, we would be out of the woods. I think all this can happen - and I hope it will, in a way - but Good and Evil will always be there. That balance is necessary. But I am an optimist by nature. I believe that there is a future for Volodymyr Zelensky and the Eastern bloc. That there is perhaps a chance to put into practice what was tried there some thirty years ago. And I believe in a free Iran, in a possible return to what this country was in 1978. What a beautiful day that would be! But that doesn't mean there wouldn't be a new war somewhere else in the world. I'm an eternal optimist, but let's face it: history is always starting over. As I said, it's a question of balance, a permanent coming and going. Because I believe in this Force I was talking about earlier, I truly believe that the West can win, that the way we live and the way we have built our society is a step forward that shows progress and can make a large majority of people happy. Not all, but most. But even if we all lived in love and peace for five years, something else would come along to create chaos! An alien or something! (laughs) That's how it works. Our mistake is to believe in the status quo, in nirvana. It's not going to happen. It's always about balance. The Vatican and organised religion... All that crap is just to pick people's pockets, to control them, to take their energy and scare them into plundering them. The same goes for the GOP (editor’s note: the American "Grand Old Party", suspected of having Christian nationalist leanings), which only deceives people in order to take their money! That's all you need to know. It's simple, so simple to understand. All this does not mean that the energy that emanates from churches is not real. When you walk into one of them, you feel - or so I believe - the energy of all those who have gone before you, for decades, for centuries. Their fears, their hopes, etc. So much so, sometimes, that you can feel oppressed, even upset. So I can walk into a church and feel a sense of awe. I love visiting these places, especially from an aesthetic point of view.

On Phantomime, you also cover "We Don't Need Another Hero" by Tina Turner. Don't you think that, given the state of the world today, we do need "another hero"?

I think Zelensky has shown how much we like heroes, how important they are to us. I think back, for example, to how the world went wild when Andrés Iniesta scored the decisive goal in the 116th minute to help Spain win the 2010 World Cup against the Netherlands. I believe in human determination and how it can inspire the world to distinguish between what is important... and what is really important. What is important for our daily lives. Yes, it's cool to have a complete collection of Venom's work, but it doesn't matter if I’m missing the most important thing. In the last ten years especially, the western world has been focusing on tons of unimportant things trying to pit people against each other, cancel culture and all that stuff... It proves that we are spoiled children. Our mentality shows it when it comes to security. Seeing Zelensky defend himself as he does appeals to our most primal instincts: it's beautiful and very inspiring. Nothing else is more important than that. It is the only thing that matters... Otherwise we have to be prepared for a lot of people to live in misery.

Next August, you will tour in the USA with Amon Amarth. I noticed that they will not accompany you on the last date, in Los Angeles, on September 11, 2023. There is no opening act, you ask the audience not to use their phones, etc. That sounds like a live DVD!

Yes, we are indeed planning to film this show, but it won't be the end of the Impera era cycle, even if we will not have so many dates left after this concert. There will still be a few shows in South America and Australia.

Nothing in Japan? A country that one might think Ghost was made for.

At the moment, it's not very clear. We had a lot of discussions with the Japanese promoters, as there was talk of us appearing on the bill of a Japanese festival scheduled for this month. Unfortunately, the festival was postponed... and then rescheduled for March! I think they originally had a big headliner, but the headliner didn't show up. So they cancelled, and then considered a smaller edition with Pantera. With all the back and forth, we ended up dropping out because it was too risky for us to play one date there after six months of inactivity. Our team is currently taking a break, but we preferred to use this time to rehearse for our next shows. The first one will be in Rouen on May 21st. We learned a good lesson the last time we played Hellfest. It was so hot that day, the conditions were so extreme, that we almost had a storm. We really had to fight against the elements and it affected me (Editor's note: the last encore of the show was not played, as Tobias was suffering from vocal problems). It was a very tough show. What really pissed me off was not the fact that I lost my voice, but the fact that the festival-goers who were there were not treated to our entire production. It was indeed difficult to foresee these extreme conditions. This summer we have to play festivals again, so we have reworked our production, which will be better adapted to the complicated weather. On this tour we will play in Spain, Finland, Norway, Greece, all within a few days of each other. So we'll be touring with two identical stages, so we can do all these shows without too much downtime. It's not very ecological, I'm sorry to say, because sometimes we'll have to take a plane to get to these cities in time. Not great, but it's the only way...

Will you play any of the Phantomime covers live?

One thing is for sure: we will play 'Jesus He Knows Me' because it's the first single from the new EP. As for the rest, we'll see during the rehearsals how the set evolves - because it's going to evolve a bit from the 2022 set. We're thinking of playing some songs from Impera that we've left out so far.

#the band ghost #tobias forge #interview

[in1-nutshell]

Lithia reaction to Ratchet on Synth-En

SFW, Platonic, Slight Angst, Familial, Cybertronain reader

TFP

Lithia knows Ratchet is skipping out on fueling time.

She has tried getting him to at least get a bit more in, but he refuses.

So as a way of protesting, she fasts too.

She has a bad feeling when Ratchet seems to have almost perfected the formula. Like something bad was going to happen…

“Lithia, I need the spare test tubes in the other room.”--Ratchet

“Got it.”--Lithia

Lithia walks to the room when she hears a loud THUD!

“LITHIA!”--Raf

Lithia turns back running to find Ratchet on the ground and Raf on his chassis with a slightly panicked look.

Lithia runs to her father’s side and immediately goes into her protocols.

Ratchet groans and slowly opens his optics.

“Oh, thank the Allspark—Wait, your optics. They’re green.”--Lithia

Ratchet has Raf in his servo as she helps him stand.

“Are you okay?”--Raf

Ratchet laughs a bit tossing Raf a bit in the air.

“Never better!”--Ratchet

Lithia snatches Raf from the air and holds him close to her chassis.

“That was a bit too rough don’t you think?”--Lithia

She gently puts him down on the balcony and reaches for him when Arcee’s signal goes off.

“She’s hurt. Stay here.”--Ratchet

Ratchet activates the groundbrigde and runs into it.

“Did he just—Oh to the Pits wit this.”--Lithia

Lithia grabs a spare med kit and runs in after him.

She runs straight to an injured Arcee as they both watch Ratchet absolutely demolish the Vechicons.

Even when the entire team gets back to the base Lithia is uncharacteristically quiet.

As soon as Ratchet recommends that everyone take the synth-en she immediately shoots that idea down.

She backs it up saying they didn’t know the true extent of this recipe and could be putting the entire team at risk by doing so.

“We still need more testing to make sure this is safe.”--Lithia

“Please. Am I not proof enough that it works?”--Ratchet

“No, it’s not. We don’t even know what kind of side effect—”--Lithia

She stops when he openly scoffs at her.

“Bulkhead with me.”--Bulkhead

Bulkhead gives an apologetic look before going with Ratchet.

Lithia just stares at the spot where Ratchet was.

She looks at Optimus as if to say ‘Did-you-just-hear-the-same-thing-I-did?’.

He gently places a comforting servo on her shoulder as she sighs tiredly.

“This is going to be a long couple of hours…”--Lithia

Later Lithia decides to take a walk with Bumblebee and Arcee when Bulkhead was literally thrown into the wall.

Lithia quickly goes and checks in on her friend as she sees her father trying to goat Bee into fighting him too.

She just helps Bulkhead up trying to practice some of the deep venting exercises she had seen on the internet.

Then he flirts with Arcee!

Lithia had an angry scowl on her face plate.

She held that annoyed look on her face for the rest of the day as she worked tirelessly to find out more about the synth-en.

She stayed back at the base when the team and Ratchet decided to go look for more energon.

Lithia was working on the main computer when she received a call from Bulkhead.

“Bulkhead?”--Lithia

“You might want to get here.”--Bulkhead

“What happened?”--Lithia

“It’s Ratchet. He’s losing it.”--Bulkhead

Lithia grabs her spare med kit and runs through the groundbrigde.

She spots her father hurting one of the Decepticon miners and runs over.

The young medic kicks him off landing a few feet away.

Lithia turns to the Con whimpering in pain.

“What? Is it your turn now?”--Con

He winces and backs up a bit when she kneel down.

Her gaze softens showing no weapons.

“I’m here to help. It’s a quick patch job.”--Lithia

He flinches a bit when Lithia begins her work.

“Think it as an apology for whatever he did… I am truly sorry for that. I don’t know what got into him.”--Lithia

The Con is silent as she finishes up.

“You can go now.”--Lithia

The miner stands up with her, looks at her for a bit before running to his group.

She turns back to see the rest of Team Prime now looking annoyed at Ratchet.

Optimus was in the middle of reprimanding Ratchet when he interrupted him.

Then calling him soft and that’s why Elita wasn’t here.

Lithia froze hearing this then turned to fury.

Lithia marches up and stands between her father and Optimus.

“You have NO right! How dare YOU!”--Lithia

He glares at her harshly.

“Oh give me a break.”--Ratchet

“No, I’M NOT going to give you a break for what you just said! Dad what’s gotten into you?”--Lithia

“Don’t call me that.”--Ratchet

“What?”--Lithia

“Dad. That isn’t me and you know that.”--Ratchet

Lithia backs a bit.

“You don’t mean that. That’s the Synth-En talking.”--Lithia

“Ratchet, I believe it is best if we go back to base and get this Synth-en out—”--Optimus

“So what?! So, I can go back to being your medic?! Just your medic!? This energon just makes me see the truth clearer. For example.”--Ratchet

He turns to Lithia.

“You are not my daughter. I am simply repaying a debt to a friend. You are just some added responsibility thrusted onto me just like this war has!”--Ratchet

Lithia freezes as the words finally register in her mind.

Optimus narrows his optics gently pushing Lithia back as if shielding her from any more attacks from her father.

Arcee starts to march to Ratchet about to give him a piece of her mind when Bulkhead and Lithia stop her.

Lithia gives her a pleading look.

Arcee slowly backs down, for Lithia’s sake.

Bee gives her a side hug.

Ratchet spots the shift and openly scoffs.

“This is the softness I was talking about. We don’t need softness in war. You should know that by now.”--Ratchet

Bee glares at Ratchet now full hugging Lithia as she buried her face into his neck cables, just hoping this was all a horrible dream.

“That’s enough. We are going back to base.”--Optimus

“You’re going to the base. I’M going to finish this.”--Ratchet

Ratchet transforms and hightails it out of there.

Lithia makes sure that everyone gets checked in the med bay when they return to base.

It’s different this time around.

This time her movements almost felt robotic.

Nothing like her.

As soon as she was done with that, she went straight to the console trying to track down Ratchet silently.

The hard look in her optics didn’t leave her.

Optimus did try and talk to her, but she reminded him that right now it was important to find Ratchet.

As the most experienced medic and missing he was top priority.

Lithia doesn’t go with the group when they go after Ratchet.

She can’t…

There is mild panic when she sees Ratchet’s condition and gets to work.

Ratchet slowly and groggily opens his optics now free of the Synth-en.

“Ratchet?”--Optimus

He groans a bit at the light.

“Optimus?”--Ratchet

He places a reassuring servo on his shoulder.

“You are home now old friend.”--Optimus

He sighs a bit noticing Lithia at the corner reviewing all his scans and slowly approaches him.

“Your vitals are fine. A few more hours on the machine to make sure all the Synth-En is out, a few days of rest and you should make a full recovery.”--Lithia

Ratchet blinks surprised at the plain explanation as she turns back to the console to continue her work.

He does try and get to talking with Lithia afterwards, but she isn’t acting like herself.

He also notices a lot more of their team seems to be in the room when he tries to talk with her.

Ratchet didn’t think much when he saw Optimus by his nieces’ side.

But it was a bit strange when Arcee, Bumblebee and Bulkhead went out of their way to be by her side when he was around.

He was getting frustrated.

He eventually asks Optimus what happened while he was under the influence.

Optimus is hesitant in telling him the news.

But he does.

The absolute look of horror and regret on Ratchet’s face is enough for the Prime to know he does regret everything.

Ratchet approaches Lithia.

Arcee, Bulkhead and Bee begin to move in, but Optimus holds both of their shoulders.

“They need this.”--Optimus

“Prime—”--Arcee

“If anything escalates then we interfere. For now, we watch.”--Optimus

The four bots can’t hear what’s being said between the two, but Lithia drops her tools and lunges at Ratchet in a hug.

Her sobs are audible as Ratchet Cradles her hugging her close gently rocking back and forth.

“Guess it worked out.”--Bulkhead

Bee beeps happily for the two.

Optimus lets a gently smile pass seeing the problem finally resolved.

It was going to take a bit for Lithia to move on from this, but this was a start.

#transformers x reader #maccadam #bot buddy #tfp x reader #tfp #tfp x platonic reader #tfp ratchet daughter #tfp ratchet

[ferallair]

The Minisodes are a Mirror

I've been thinking about the minisodes and how they are a mirror for the three part story we're currently in the middle of and I just wanted to collect my thoughts a bit.

#1 - The Clue/A Companion to Owls

This is a mirror for season 1. Crowley and Aziraphale joining together to defy Heaven and Hell to save humanity. There are a ton of interesting things happening in this episode. Aziraphale trusts Crowley not to destroy the children. Aziraphale eating that entire cow. It's insane, the gluttony of it. It means something about him and his connection to earthly things. They even use the ribs (that he licked clean btw) for their little ruse against the angels. For some reason it brings to mind the body swap in season 1. Aziraphale learns to possess a human(something he's probably not supposed to do, like eating) and use that new skill to fool Heaven and Hell. But the most important in this sitting together at the end.

So sad.

They're sitting on a nice rock that looks like a bench, as far apart from each other as they can get. It's a reflection of where they were in season 1: together but apart. An angel and a demon who go along with their side but only as much as they want. Not and Us yet (which they still aren't).

A few other questions I had:

Turning the goats to crows, why? Crowley has a crow statue on his desk in season one. Connected? A memento of that time?

Aziraphale says he is on "Gods" side. Is that a nice little side step that allows him to defy other angels but still be "the good one?" Or a foreshadowing of what's to come next season?

Crowley says the wine is from a "promising little vineyard" Châteauneuf-du-Pape perhaps?

All the angels and demons assume you can cause humans to fall in love with miracles, but Aziraphale KNOWS you can't. I wonder about that story.

#2 - I Know Where I'm Going/The Resurrectionist

This minisode is a mirror for the current season. It starts with Crowley and Aziraphale puzzling over a half naked Gabriel only to be distracted by a lesbian couple and basically ruin their lives by trying to help.

Look at that thigh.

Sure, Azripahle gives Elspeth a bunch of money, but we never find out what really happens to her. Not yet anyway. The more important part is the argument about doing wicked or immoral things for the greater good. The reuse of the name Dalrymple is interesting because it's a call back to The Thundergun of Witchfinder Colonel Dalrymple aka the gun Aziraphale tries to shoot Adam with. And it foreshadows the end of the season with Aziraphale leaving Crowley and going to heaven (something everyone on the internet is SCREAMING is wrong, including me!!) because he thinks he can do something good by it. But is it wrong? I guess we'll find out.

Some interesting things:

More foreshadowing? Is God gone? There is a conspicuous absence of the voice of God in this season, except for her half heard diatribe to Job. If she's around, is she only talking to humans?

Michael's Prophecy:

"There will come a tempest, and darkness and great storms. And the dead will leave their graves and walk the earth once more. And there will be great lamentations. (Everyday it’s getting closer)"

It's definitely foreshadowing the next episode, which is full of darkness and explosions and clouds and fog. But I think it's also a prophecy of what's to come in season 3. Just like:

#3 - The Hitchhiker/Nazi Zombie Flesheaters

I think this minisode is just one big foreshadow for season 3 and that's why it doesn't make a lot of sense yet. So, let's look at where the furniture isn't and see if we can guess some things? Feel free to play along at home.

But first can we look at the titles of these three episodes:

The Clue - A Companion to Owls. Is the clue the companion to owls? Job? Or is the clue in the meaning of owls: wisdom and sorrow? The Clue in the framing story is the song "Everyday" and a quote "I remember when the Morning Stars sang together, and all the Angels of God shouted for joy." The sorrow of owls is their song, the sound they make represents lamenting, so music might be important next season. (Didn't King David have something to do with music? Or is that just a song I know?) Crows are enemies of Owls and Crowley has a thing for Crows, the statue, the goats, the book he gives Muriel.

I Know Where I'm Going - The Resurrectionist. I know where I'm going can mean "I know what I'm doing" (trust me) or "I know what direction I'm going in" and that direction is to to Resurrectionist! It's literally what happens in this epsiode: everyone goes to the Resurrectionist in the past AND the present. Or maybe it's a metaphor for death, a place everyone (human) goes. Or maybe The Resurrectionist, who represents the Metatron, the moral quandary of doing bad things for good reasons, represents NOT listening to God or yourself (and thinking you know what you're doing), but falling for the lies of people who claim to be doing good when they're actually not. There is also the Ressurectionist as metaphor for rising from the dead and there is a lot of hints about coming back from the dead this season: Lazarus as a unit of measure, the word Ressurectionist, literal zombies, talk of a second coming, probably more stuff I can't remember.

The Hitchhiker - Nazi Zombie Flesheaters. So “The Hitchhiker” is a short radio play by screenwriter Lucille Fletcher. It was first presented in 1941 on the Orson Welles Show and was later made into and episode of the Twilight Zone. It's also the name of a horror anthology TV show from the 80's, which is fitting for this episode, because it feels like an episode of the Twilight Zone or a horror anthology story. Mostly because of the literal Nazi Zombie Flesheaters and a good dose of "be careful what you wish for" moralizing.

So what can this episode tell us about next season? I have a couple of thoughts:

We have the idea of human magic. These zombies aren't just anyone, they are occultist Nazi's that were meeting with Aziraphale in season 1 to buy books of prophecy. They particularly wanted the Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, reminding us that some kind of real human magic exists, and that these Nazi's know about it (and they are now undead Zombies roaming the earth). There is also the mention of Free Masons, a secret organization that may or may not be into the occult. I suspect we'll see some kind of human occult/magic in season 3. Which make's sense with the second coming because by some accounts Jesus was an occult magician in his day.

We also have human magic. The regular stage kind. Here it is used as a kind of trust fall for Aziraphale and Crowley.

So sweet.

I suspect the boys will be placed in a situation where they will have to trust each other or die. Maybe there will even be a lose of power like this time. But they will definitely have to trick someone using mundane means. All three minisodes are about tricks (and arguably the whole season), the three ribs turning into the children, the melting the corpse and stealing the laudanum, the whole magic show episode. There will be a tricks, illusions, making things seem like they aren't. If there isn't I might be sad.

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #This is such a hot mess #hopefully I'm not just crazy #hopefully someone smarter then me can make something of this #I'm an eating up all the meta and it's fabulous #feral thoughts

[cosmic-d1ce]

"before Forever, before the island. Who was he and why is Etoiles so interested???"

oh my god ow the fucking shot through the chest this was omgggggggg not only asking about what happened from the source (phil) but who he was before- when he had an isolated identity AAAAAAAAAA THEMMMMM ETOILES THE FUCKING GOAT AS PER USUAL NOTHING LESS TO BE EXPECTED OMGGGG also the idea of him being his best friend in this au is so like emotional to me- to have phil be put through so much pain all the time at all angles, emotionally and physically to have at least Someone just One person to turn to who sees past the servers lies and rumors omg the agony this is amazing they're my roman empire too I literally brainrot abt them all the time

The song Milk by Jack Stauber is pretty much exactly what they have

The song is technically about death, thinking of a dead person you didn't know but I feel like it works so well because a part of Phil is dead. The part of him that really matters to Etoiles

Etoiles doesn't care about what Forever forced Phil to be. He cares that somewhere, there's a person who used to have friends and a family and a nice little house that he made with his own hands

What kind of life did you live through? Did you know love? Will you rest in peace? Did you have a family?

Who was Phil before Forever changed him?

That's all Etoiles cares about.

It's okay that Phil can't fight things! He used to!! He used to fight and laugh and help people, he used to explore and build and discover!! That's who he really is. Etoiles can see that, even when nobody else can

He even manages to get some of that back. Phil, finally, has a way to get back a part of himself that he lost through Etoiles. He can laugh and explore and make things again and he doesn't have to worry about what Forever will think because he's not here!! He's not here and Etoiles would risk everything for Phil because they're FRIENDS!!

Phil can't hold a weapon anymore but he can hold Pomme and tell her grand stories about the man he used to be, the empire he built, the world he created for himself, his friends and his family. He can hold Etoiles' daughter and tell her how to build things, how to properly shoot a bow and arrow or how she should always avoid ravines!

Etoiles sees this man for the first time and goes "I want to know you" and when he's told what happened through other people's perspectives he says "NO. Nonono I want to know YOU." and he ASKS and he CARES!!! He hears the rumors and says "There has to be more to Phil than Forever."

Cellbit pulls him aside to explain everything properly and Etoiles turns away and says he doesn't believe in secondary research and he's going straight to the source, thank you!! If this is not an invitation to kill Forever for what he did to Phil HE DOES NOT WANT TO KNOW!!

Etoiles knows that somewhere, in another world, where none of this happened, they're best friends. They're besties and they play fight and do dungeons together because that's what they like to do.

Etoiles will settle knowing it could have been.

#FML would be fixed if etoiles and phil got married #qsmp #qsmp philza #qsmp etoiles #qsmp codebreakers #they are everything to me #id kill and die for these boys do you hear me #forever my love au

[erisenyo]

If it’s not too late/you feel like it, maybe “shh, c’mere” for zukka? Because the only thing Zuko’s worse at than showing emotions (other than anger) is being comforted because of said emotions (at least in my brain haha) also ik I said this in tags but I absolutely adored your Ty Lee suki ficlet with the crystals it hugs my heart ;-; she’s protecting her friends

。゜゜(´Ｏ`) ゜゜。

For this prompt game!

“—and the utter gall of them to suggest—”

“Uh huh,” Sokka says, tugging Zuko by the wrist around a clump of slow-moving market shoppers.

“—like I haven’t spent months on the proposal—”

“So much time,” Sokka assures him, taking a moment in the next intersection to orient himself against Caldera’s cratered rim before pulling Zuko left.

“—to just come in and in one meeting—”

“Ridiculous,” Sokka agrees, shooting a quick, apologetic smile to the person who gives him started, half-offended look.

“—think they know more than me—”

“You researched a lot,” Sokka sympathizes, dragging Zuko clear of the line at his favorite food stall, which he's regretfully going to have to come back to later when Zuko—

“I researched—Sei Zun research—we researched—"

—isn’t at risk of popping a vein. Or starting to spit rainbow sparks in public, which would really give them away. Going incognito and relying on people’s expectations of where a Fire Lord won’t be only goes so far.

“And you did a really good job of it,” Sokka soothes, picking up the pace a little as Zuko hisses out a curl of smoke through his teeth.

“To just eel swan in—”

Sokka lets out an audible sigh of relief as he sees the sign for their destination, hand-painted and cheerful, before clearing his throat and quickly offering, “So rude."

“—and imply that I don’t care enough about—”

“Sh, c’mere,” Sokka interrupts as he pushes into the curious crowd thronging the square, Zuko spitting himself to a stop and making a low, seething noise of outrage. “Don’t be like that,” Sokka huffs, rolling his eyes and tugging on his wrist again. “C’mere.”

Zuko gives him a sideways, nettled look, clearly annoyed at being managed. “What are you—” he cuts off as he finally swings his glare up to actually take in their surroundings. Sokka can see the moment he realizes where they are, his face going suddenly slack with shock, mouth working silently a moment before he finally whispers, disbelieving, “…The baby animal adoption drive?”

“Mhm,” Sokka says, breaking free of the crowd and turning to walk backward so he can get a nice, good look at Zuko taking it all in.  

“The one we couldn’t make last year?” Zuko asks, dazed, stumbling along after Sokka.

“Mhm,” Sokka grins.

“And couldn’t make this year?”

“It rained last week,” Sokka reminds him. “They had to move it.”

“Oh,” Zuko says, with feeling, and Sokka doesn’t resist the urge to plant his feet and keep pulling, tugging him into his body so he can enjoy Zuko's closeness and also the dumbstruck look on his face.

“Yeah,” Sokka hums, dropping a light kiss onto Zuko’s lips and murmuring against his mouth, “Want to pet your feelings out?”

“Yes,” Zuko says, plowing forward through Sokka like that was all the permission he needed, face somewhere between determined and transfixed, and Sokka can't help but laugh before spinning to follow.

Sokka trails after at a more normal pace, grinning to see the tension melting out of Zuko’s body one kitten fawn and goat puppy—and inexplicably, a baby puma goat—at a time, until Zuko’s practically a boneless pile on the ground, baby animals crawling over him, head pillowed in Sokka’s lap.

“This was the best idea Aang’s ever had in his entire life,” Zuko mumbles into the side of the tiny kitten owl determinedly navigating his face.

“It was a pretty good one,” Sokka agrees, unable to do anything except smile at the sight. Spirits, he must look stupidly fond and sappy right now, but he can't seem to find it in himself to care about who might be seeing it.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this was happening,” Zuko slurs, both hands focused on giving ear scritches, and Sokka pauses on the braid he’s working into Zuko’s hair.

“It worked out, though, right?” he checks, relaxing again when Zuko lets out a deep sound of contented agreement and after a long moment adding slow, like he’s drunk,

“You have work to do.”

“Eventually,” Sokka hums, perfectly content to be where he is for now.

“Poak and Sun Chen are waiting for a reply?”

“Hawks only go so fast, and they need to rest, too, love,” Sokka shrugs, searching around a moment before plopping another kitten fawn onto Zuko's chest. “It’s nothing that can’t wait a few hours,” he assures him.

And nothing worth missing the sight of this, for, of Zuko’s small, delighted smile up at him before he turns to coo at the new creature, everything else happily forgotten.  

#asks and answers #ask games #cigarette-smell #I was super tempted to do them sneaking into somewhere together and not being able to stop giggling about it #But your words on Zuko showing emotion compelled me #(Also thank you so much!! I'm so thrilled you enjoyed the Tysuki one!!) #fic writing #my writing #Sokka #Zuko #Zukka

[napoleondidthat]

I Went, I Saw, I’m Back….

Today was Napoleon movie day and I lived to come back and report.

You know how you go into a movie with super high expectations when you have heard it’s the best thing ever, then inevitably find it less than you expected? The reverse happened a bit for me, everyone had hated this so my expectations were low, and though the movie is problematic, because everyone I read was losing their minds, it wasn’t that bad.

That is not to say it was good.

So for me it’s a mixed bag of stuff. Things I liked and and things I did not.

The main problem with the movie is that it tries to fit everything in it and therefore nothing works because everything is trying to be in there. Since they try to cover everything, nothing is covered and everything suffers, including the flow of the movie. It’s one of the movies that I felt like I could see what they were trying to do, and maybe it would have worked if they didn’t slam everything in there.

So this is going to be a bit scattered because my thoughts are scattered. And warning: spoilers will be discussed.

I wish they would have just skipped the French Revolution altogether and assumed the audience had a working knowledge of it. Shoehorning it in didn’t work. We have a brief scene of Marie Antoinette running the halls with her children trying to escape arrest to then a fade out of her execution. Yes, it’s all wrong, she is too defiant, her hair is too long, her dress is wrong. I get what they are going for here and a defiant Queen is probably a bit more dramatic than one who apologizes to her executioner for stepping his his shoes. Napoleon in the crowd, even though he wasn’t really there, works in the dramatic licensing department and his reaction was actually good.

Then we are whisked to Napoleon getting into a meeting with Barras, who acts as a sort of a narrator to the audience to catch them up on the state of things and Toulon. What I dislike in this film is that they introduce the characters by flashing their names and titles on screen. Ugh. I do not like this. Napoleon gives his plans on what he’d do with Toulon and Lucien (he’s been mistaken as Joseph in some reviews) acts as interpreter to Barras over what Napoleon just said (What my brother is saying….) .

There is a bit of time spent at Toulon with Napoleon walking around the place and even melting cannons for new cannons. The British are brutes who yell at him calling him a “shitbag” and yelling at the locals to move their “fucking goats!” . No, they really had wandering goats.

The battle is intense. Now, I know a lot of complaints have been filed due to battle inaccuracies and too few of them. This isn’t a problem for me. I am not a scholar on Napoleonic warfare. I am a wimp when it comes to blood and gore. I dislike seeing people blown up but even hate seeing horses blown up more. So one of the first casualties of Toulon is Napoleon’s beautiful white innocent horse. It takes a cannon ball to the chest and it’s graphic and it makes me want to do a cry. The horse falls and Napoleon is thrown but regains his composure to go fight with one on one with some a combatant until someone else decapitates the guy with a sword.

One battle down more to go.

Barras magically is on scene to literally crown Napoleon general with a sword like the Queen knights people. Napoleon wanders away to his poor dead horse and fished out the ball lodged in the chest and hands it off to I think Junot with instructions to give it to someone. I thought I heard “for mother” but that can’t be it….can it?

Now we are back to revolution stuff and Robespierre is being denounced. Why are we putting this in here? It’s too…whatever. He runs out of the chamber, tries to shoot himself when he can’t shoot the chamber and of course just ends up wounding himself in his jaw. Barras pops over to put his finger in the wound (ew sir) and tells him he missed and off to the guillotine for you “dear friend”.

Enter Josephine. She escapes her prison in her dramatic cloak where she is hugged by a nameless woman.

Enter Napoleon being instructed by Barras on the civilians uprising. There is a scene of Napoleon wandering through a crowd of citizens shouting long live the King. Napoleon places his cannon, the citizens line up and then boom! More bloodshed for everyone. People are mowed down, blood spray. The back crowd runs off and the camera pans to a woman trying to crawl away with her severed foot in the street. No horses dead thankfully.

Back to Josephine in her cloak walking empty Paris streets and looking at various overturned debris. Is she just walking the streets for days? Is she coming upon the whiff of grapeshot? We don’t know.

Napoleon is now wandering around a Survivor’s ball. The lighting is gorgeous in here. Josephine has ditched her cloak for a dress her boob might escape from at any moment. She’s sitting with Barras with her insane asylum haircut and red long gloves and red ribbon neck decoration. Napoleon looks bored. Later Napoleon is still wandering around and Josephine is hanging out gambling. She notices Napoleon starring at her and confronts him. Here we meet Josephine with her dramatic British accent and Napoleon’s awkward American one (but it strangely fits all the same). She asks why he was starting and there is some back and forth but no lines from the trailer with her “has the course of my life change Napoleon?” Instead Napoleon tells her not to tell him her name and she stares at him and wanders off to gamble some more I guess. What?

Next is the scene with a very small Eugene doing the probably made up Napoleon myth scene of “Can I have my father’s sword please sir?” Napoleon and Junot have been throwing shit at the wall before this for…reasons. Napoleon explains to Eugene that he can’t give back the sword because citizens can’t have weapons. The boy says it’s a rememberance of his dead father. Napoleon asks what he is doing there and the boy says his mother said that Napoleon could. Napoleon then goes to a room with loads of swords that were taken from the executed officers. Napoleon asks if anyone thought to put names to them but no, they did not. Napoleon grabs a random sword and heads to chez Beauharnais. There everyone seems to know him, including the help, and he gives the maybe sword back to Eugene. Everyone thanks him and Napoleon tells Josephine that he gives his compliments to the house chef. ???

Now Napoleon has random meetings with Josephine that I guess is supposed to be their abbreviated courtship. Josephine stares into her makeup mirror and wonders aloud to her maid (Lucille) if she looks in love. They have random conversations about how her husband was executed in front of his mistresses. How she tried to get pregnant in prison to save her life. Will any of this bother Napoleon? Napoleon answers “no, madam”. She flashes him her nether regions and Napoleon just stares. Awkward. Some old lady behind me in the theatre went “oh!”

Oh well then it’s time to get married.Josephine has the fastest growing hair in the history of the world. Last scene she was a mental patient, now her hair is shoulder length. They are giddy, well Napoleon is, at the register’s. They are sure to share Josephine’s real name but then announce that Napoleon was born in February. What? Didn’t he just change the year and not the month of his birth? But none of it matters since they never discuss their age difference anyway.

They have a dinner party where Josephine flirts with Hippolyte Charles with Napoleon glowering and then we cut to the sexy time scene where Napoleon and Josephine have sex doggy style! Oh God. Cringe. Napoleon talks of having a son. Napoleon is very broody in this movie.

Napoleon is now in Egypt. Italy is mentioned only in a letter voice over where he happily informs Josephine that he was victorious in Italy. He wonders why she isn’t writing. Insert scenes of a naked butt Charles romping in bed with Josephine. Napoleon and the mamalukes line up by the pyramids and Napoleon fires the cannons. They hit the pyramids and then he just wanders away. Is this the battle? Lol One mamaluke falls off his horse. No horse casualties.

If you ever felt that General Dumas never got his moments to shine, well he is in this movie. He’s not singled out, you just have to know it’s him. He accompanies Napoleon to see a mummy. Napoleon looks at the mummy and goes to touch it’s cheek and the mummy shifts away from his touch. Is this like some omen that like Josephine, even dead mummy’s don’t want Napoleon touching them? Lol

Junot later informs Napoleon while they eat that Josephine is unfaithful. Napoleon tells Junot that he gets no dessert and to leave, which he does. They later meet up again and Napoleon tells him he’s off to France.

Napoleon lands to fanfare in France and greets the crowd with smiles and waves. He gets in the coach, finds an English paper making fun of him and Josephine’s affairs. He waves at people out the window. He arrives home to No Josephine but dogs! There are a lot of dogs in this movie that is a win for me. He questions Lucille on her whereabouts, throws wine at her and tips a chair over. Josephine arrives to her luggage in the yard and she goes to the locked door and….next scene she is in tears and Napoleon is yelling. She is a “selfish little pig” and how could she do this…why didn’t she think of his feelings? Josephine says sorry and Napoleon makes her say she is nothing without him.

The scene cuts to the first of many scenes of Napoleon sitting awkwardly on the couches with their heads on the back cushions staring at each other. Lol. Can’t they sit normal? What are these two adults doing? Here Josephine makes Napoleon recite to her that he is a brute that is nothing without her and “your mother”. Oh boy, Napoleon is a mama’s boy too.

Napoleon has a meeting with those in charge which is a great scene of him telling all of them that they aren’t fit to run France. They accuse him of deserting his army in Egypt. He points out one by one why they can’t serve getting to one man and saying “though you can scowl very well!” He marches out saying that they have nerve questioning him when they have ruined France and he has found out his wife is a slut.

Napoleon has brunch with Sieyes and he invites him to a coup. Scenes follow of the various men being arrested or asked to step down. One man tries to escape by running up the stairs and then getting into a slap fest with two soldiers. Dumas arrests another man who says he can’t believe this he was just about to have a “scrumptious breakfast!” Dumas escorts him out leaving his hysterically crying wife saying “enjoy your breakfast”. Talleyrand tells Barras of his dismissal to which Barras says he will gladly go back to being a private citizen.

The coup is hysterical. But it was, wasn’t it? Napoleon gets manhandled and runs away falling down a flight of steps and barricading the door from the mob. He can barely stand up. Now I know some of this rubs scholars the wrong way but the coup was about as good as this. Napoleon was given a horse that he couldn’t control and was almost thrown off.

Now Napoleon is talking to Caulaincourt who talks to him about the czar. This scene actually works well. Napoleon walks around questioning and using his knife to hack away at the furniture.

Napoleon confronts an ambassador and screams at him. Here is where he shouts “you think you are so great because you have boats!”before stomping out. It is laughable but again, Napoleon was known to do this at times. He did kick one ambassador in the stomach once for no reason.

Talleyrand says hey why don’t you become Emperor. Napoleon laughs and pinches his ear.

Napoleon leads an older woman around. You guessed it! Mama is on scene. Napoleon walks her over to Josephine where Madame Mere says “This must be Josephine!” They nod at each other and then Madame Mere says “Is that Charles?” and wanders off to talk to Talleyrand. Who knew they were friends?

Napoleon still is broody. He walks in on Josephine dressing and acts like a horse, baying and stomping the ground. Josephine dismisses the maid and says “you nasty man” and more doggie style sex! She tells him her nether regions are his. Cringe.

Napoleon the next morning questions Josephine on why she isn’t pregnant. She makes excuses but says she has been busy cleaning up his messes. Napoleon whimpers again, crawls under the table and grabs her.

It’s coronation time baby! No lead up, just happens. Hippolyte Charles is there to give the evil eye to the imperial couple. Josephine looks at him as she walks by. Barras comes out of nowhere to get a prime seat up at the Dias. The pope is pretty enthusiastic proclaiming Napoleon emperor. The end.

Now Napoleon is watching David paint his portrait with a model as Talleyrand says he needs to divorce.

Now we are at Austerlitz. This is beautifully shot. There are lots of blood in the water and sadly dead horses. This doesn’t seem to be a lake they are falling into, but the ocean as they sink sink sink forever.

Now Napoleon is chatting up Emperor Francis.

Now there is a montage of happy Napoleon and Josephine moments. Napoleon plays with a dog while Josephine smiles. Napoleon and Josephine share a bath.

Now Napoleon and Josephine sit at a dinner party and Napoleon asks in front of everyone why isn’t she pregnant? Awkward. Josephine says there hasn’t been much love making in the place. Awkward. Napoleon’s mother is even like “ew”. Napoleon says that is a lie. There has been years and years! Josephine fires back that he is a fat fat fatty. Napoleon says that is true, he likes to eat, destiny brought him this lamb chop. Josephine throws food at him. Napoleon throws food at her. She throws more. WTF is going on here? No lie, an older man behind me in the theater whispered in this scene to his wife “he’s probably been putting it in the wrong hole. “

Madame Mere is the one and not Caroline to tell Napoleon she has rounded up a girl for him to see if he can get her pregnant. She says it’s time to know who is at fault. Napoleon and she drink brandy while Napoleon studies his feet. She says the girl, Elenore Denuelle, is waiting for him naked in the bed. Napoleon asks if he can have another brandy. He pauses at the door while mama shooes him in.

Next scene Madame Mere tells Napoleon the happy news of Elenore’s pregnancy.

Napoleon and Josephine have an awkward stare conversation sliding down on the couch.

Napoleon announces over dinner with Josephine the divorce. She tears up but then laughs. Napoleon leaves in a huff.

The divorce scene. Josephine has tears rolling down her cheeks. Napoleon sniffles and roughly wipes her face and his. He reads his statement. Barras is also somehow here too. Standing in the audience like a bad omen. Napoleon scolds Josephine to read her statement. She can’t get through it because she keeps laughing. I guess we are going for hysterical laughter but it plays wrong. And of course the history is that she cried so much she had to have the statement read by someone else. Here she gets slapped by Napoleon to her shock and everyone else’s but still laughs her way through it.

Josephine leaves in her carriage and lands at someplace that is Malmaison but is not Malmaison. She walks around gloomy. Napoleon visits her and puts his hat on her head. Tells her to cheer up.

Napoleon chats with the Czar and tries to marry his sister.

Napoleon is now meeting Marie Louise. Now the casting is all screwed up. Napoleon ages through the film but for some reason Josephine never does. Josephine is taller than Napoleon even though she was in reality shorter. Marie Louise is a black haired little thing when in reality she was taller than Napoleon.

Napoleon is given his son. He cries. He’s been wanting a kid for a long time, man. Napoleon takes the baby to Malmaison to visit Josephine who looks like for a second she might throw the baby over a Cliff.

Napoleon is off to Russia. Cossacks attack. Napoleon rips off little pieces of bread to his troops as they walk by. They fight at Borodino and Napoleon is leading a Calvary charge but what the hell? He’s wearing his Italian uniform. Since when did fat Napoleon get into his closest and grab up his ornate uniform? My guess is that this was meant to be Italy, they scrapped it for time and used this footage for Borodino thinking no one would notice.

Napoleon find Moscow abandoned including the Kremlin that has apparently been abandoned for decades as pigeons have taken over the place and have shit all over the czar’s nice throne. Napoleon fits so he sits. Birds continue to shit on it. I think this is supposed to be some poetic metaphor.

Napoleon wakes up flames. He comes out and asks who did this. Luckily the marshals are all there waiting and inform him. He wants to march to Petersburg. They tell him no because of winter. Napoleon puts his hands over his ears and then screams into his hat. Chill man.

Napoleon marches back in snow. Dead people. Men eating horses. Not the horses!!

Oh Napoleon is abdicating. That’s quick. Surprisingly Barras is missing from the audience.

Napoleon lands on Elba and parades around. Josephine greets the Czar and dances with him in a really stupid dress. Malmaison is always cloudy with fog and rain. Always. Every scene. Napoleon sees a paper on Elba that mocks him about Josephine entertaining the czar and him being cuckolded again. But they are divorced? He beats the paper on the table. He then writes to Josephine and tells her that he is coming back to France to reclaim his stuff including her. So I guess we don’t care about Marie Louise or baby anymore.

Btw, Josephine should be dead by now.

Josephine is shown being ill and the doctor telling her to open her mouth. He says her chest is congested and her throat inflamed and recommends going to bed. But she says Napoleon is coming over and over again. I don’t think Josephine ever called a Napoleon Napoleon either.

Napoleon gets on ship and lands on French soil. Kisses it. Josephine dies. Finally. Too late.

Napoleon greets his troops. They go to his side. He lands at Malmaison and learns from Hortense that Josephine is dead from diphtheria. Napoleon is mad at her. Why didn’t anyone tell him? He wants her letters that he wrote to her. Hortense says the valet stole them and sold them. Napoleon cries. Hortense apologizes and Napoleon says he forgives her. For what though?

Napoleon is at Waterloo. Rupert Everett is Wellington but all I can think is damn he’s old. I remember when he was a heart-throb in movies and now he’s old Wellington. Battle. Dead horses (no!!!) dead men. This is the longest battle filmed.

Napoleon is on the Bellerophon giving a class to a bunch of boys. Wellington for some reason comes for a meeting and Napoleon and he are rather friendly to each other. I wonder where Barras is? He could be here. He wasn’t. But he could be. Wellington dashes Napoleon’s hopes of remaining in England and tells him he will be off to St. Helena “a rock really”. Napoleon laughs.

At long last, Napoleon is on St. Helena with a voice over with Josephine talking to Napoleon. Next time she will be Emperor and he will have to listen to her. Napoleon is shown washing his face. Napoleon is shown drinking wine at his desk while plantblow out of the ground outside his window. There is a dead fly in his wine that he fishes out. Napoleon is at an outdoor table while Betsy Balcombe and some other girl fence with sticks. Napoleon grills them on the capitals of Europe. They do the Moscow story. How it was burned to get rid of the French. Napoleon asks who told them that and then throws dates at them as they run back to play. Another voice over from Josephine. She tells Napoleon she has prepared a place for him why doesn’t he come? We see Napoleon’s back and his famous hat from the back as he sits at the table. Come she tells him and we will try again. Napoleon drops over dead. Well, that’s not how it went but okay.

Jesus. That was a lot. I will do my final thoughts tomorrow.

[yodeleyewho]

(Forgive me if I end up presenting something as this amazing find, but turns out that it was stupidly obvious in the episode, currently on a road trip, and posting cuz I’m bored 😭 and doing this thru memory and past liveblogs alone)

ok. trying to piece together a (messy) explanation as to why Rico acts like that in s3 (using my memory and past liveblogs alone) after everything that happened with Angelina and their kid since the show never bothered to dig deeper into that (oh. And Sonny is here too).

Starting with Walk Alone, Rico jumps at the opportunity to go undercover at Bolton Prison despite the fact that it’s extra dangerous, which he is aware of. He makes this decision with no feeling at all, it felt like a very empty “I’ll do it.” This feels very different from the Rico of episodes like Tale of the Goat where he didn’t take the threat seriously at all which almost lead him to his death. Sonny strongly opposes this decision knowing that his friend could be seriously harmed by doing this, but I read these feelings possibly running deeper than that, perhaps he felt that Rico wasn’t ready (mentally) for this type of mission, that he’s not in the right headspace making this decision (his line in SaL, “I’m not tryna crowd ya”). I felt like these two were kinda distant in this season (which others have pointed out as well), and sure they still have their friendly moments, but it’s much more reduced compared to previous seasons. But here’s the thing though, Rico closes up due to all that happened to his family, but Sonny is closed off and more tough because... I would sayyyy… Dick Wolf reasons his last few episodes that he got before Sons and Lovers, specifically talking about The Fix and Payback, where he witnesses the judge’s suicide, Maroto’s suicide (both literally a few feet away from him), and afterwards acts super paranoid. Unfortunately we get no emotional closure by the end of the ep, we don’t get to see Sonny and Rico reunite, see Sonny’s reaction to his partner being worn out, bloodied, and bruised, or even a simple “you good?” “I’m good” between them.

(memory is now starting to falter)

Better Living Through Chemistry focuses more on Rico’s past partnership with Clarence Batisse. The backstory is that while Clarence and Tubbs were on a numbers bust, Clarence shoots a bookie, but Clarence wants Tubbs to lie for him about what truly happened to the IAD, but Tubbs refuses to go along with his plan. This leads to Clarence losing his job and his family. Years later they reunite by complete accident, Tubbs is undercover and Clarence notices him from across the room, and exposes his cover (unsure abt if he knew abt his job or not, so he might’ve done it on purpose). Later on, Tubbs visits Clarence at his new home, less as a “how d’you do” and more of a “what the hell, man”. Clarence laments about his job and what happened to his family, and he mentions that if Tubbs went through what he did, he would’ve been there for him no matter what. There are other episodes that cover the issue of how far you’d be willing to go for your partner, but they were usually focused more on Sonny.

Later in the episode, Sonny questions Clarence’s involvement/innocence in the current case, but Tubbs quickly comes to his ex-partner’s defense, repeating something similar to what Clarence said to him about loyalty to a partner (“what would you do if I were the one being questioned?” ). Usually it would be Tubbs to question the honesty of Sonny’s friends, but the roles are reversed. But the thing I don’t understand is Tubbs coming to Clarence’s defense when A) he doesn’t even like him that much and B) Clarence has (attempted to) lied before about his innocence before. But the end of the episode explains why Tubbs was so willing to extend mercy to him.

Rico: The Clarence Batiste I knew wouldn’t even think of kidnapping somebody.

Clarence: The Clarence Batiste you knew died eight years ago.

Rico: I don’t think so. I think there’s plenty more on the inside.

Rico arrests Clarence, but takes him without handcuffs. Deep down Rico believed Clarence was redeemable, and he still does. It’s something that he does multiple times with others (Valerie, Jackie, and later with Burnett).

(Mentioning Baby Blues in passing since I already made a post about it and said how it should’ve been a Tubbs episode)

The Afternoon Plane was an episode that I was soooo looking forward to because we were finally gonna continue with the Calderone storyline, but….. it felt like a big disappointment. Tubbs and Alicia (the best character in this episode was Alicia, the only bearable one imo) are trapped in the island by Calderone’s men, so they’re gonna fight their way out. Tubbs doesn’t want Alicia to get involved out of fear that she’ll get hurt, but she isn’t scared of that. He talks to her about what happened to his family, and she tells him that he can’t live with this pain alone, but Rico has such a hard time opening up about this stuff even with his own partner, that he’d rather suffer in silence. It was a nice moment, but too quick imo, the rest of the episode focuses more on the impending fight, trying to get people on Tubbs’s side, and they throw in a little love triangle at some point for no reason (not that I didn’t like Sally, it’s just that the love competition thing was unnecessary). They chose to only do ONE episode to wrap it up, but it failed big time 😭 Calderone Jr. doesn’t even appear til the last fifteen minutes, then they have a short showdown, which felt lackluster, and the conclusion left me unsatisfied. But hey, at least Alicia made it out alive, or else this would’ve been the second time one of his lovers would be hurt by a Calderone (which I guess this is why Tubbs didn’t want Alicia to do anything dangerous, out of fear that he would be reliving the events of Angelina).

Red Tape kinda made up for this tho, being one of the few times Tubbs gets to express his anger (it was an act, but there must’ve been some honesty behind it). Again, Sonny must play the calm one of the duo, and is trying to coax his partner into rejoining the force, none of it works, and leaves him heartbroken.

Sonny: Three years. That guy’s been my partner for three years.

Cop (who was so unfortunate to witness such an ugly divorce): When a guy goes over the edge, sometimes trying to help pushes them further. I think this guy’s gotta come back on his own— if he comes back at all.

Sonny has gone through being upset with his job, but he’s never gone so far as to quit, so this advice seems ok in the moment for him. (Sorry I literally can’t remember much of this episode, so this is gonna be short) The ending is depressing, like, half of the people on the scene end up dead, and what started as an act for Tubbs actually ended up affecting him. Sonny tries his best to look on the bright side, saying that despite the cost they got what they needed. Just like in Walk Alone we don’t get to see much of Sonny and Rico dealing with the after effects of a devastating event. This season has multiple times where they weren’t given enough time to process something together, but thankfully Viking Bikers From Hell gives us a little bit of that.

Viking Bikers From Hell. Bad. Weird. What the hell. Literally, I only watch it for the hospital scenes. Sonny could’ve lost Tubbs many times this season, but now that he can actually see his partner seriously hurt right in front of him, he softens up, reverting back to his s2 nature. When Tubbs wakes up, they have a talk about what separates them from the bad guys, Sonny says that the only thing differentiating them is that“we got better aim”. The episode doesn’t even make up for their weird relationship stuff going on between them for most of the season, but thankfully when s4 came around Dick Wolf lightened up a bit and actually let them be normal with each other again.

#i’m eepy #miami vice #sonny crockett #don johnson #rico tubbs #philip michael thomas #this took me longer than necessary #tw suicide mention #tw mention of suicide

[eccentwrit]

Crowley is such a complex character, I am not normal about him.

Like, his whole thesis as a character is this idea that what is Good and what is right and what is nice and what is kind are all very different things. Crowley isn't Good or nice, but he is righteous and kind.

So it always seemed a bit strange to me how unbothered Crowley is with being a demon. Like, sure, we've got the whole "go as far as you can go" with Hell conversation, but Crowley never seems conflicted or remorseful about spreading Evil or condemning souls to Hell. He's not disgusted or off-put by them. He's amiable and casual with Beelzebub, he answers Shax's questions, even Hastur and Ligur don't bother him until they make it his problem. Generally, he seems to have an overall decent relationship with Hell and it's denizens.

The angst we do see come from his is all about the Fall and that he doesn't understand what he did wrong. He feels betrayed by an unjust punishment and he doesn't understand why it happened. But he never angsts about his new nature as a demon. In fact, I'd go as far as to say he actively likes being a demon.

So it took me a bit to figure out how all that fit together, and I think I cracked it:

Crowley doesn't think that Evil is bad.

See, if Good isn't necessarily good, then it stands to reason that Evil isn't necessarily bad. I believe he even says at one point they are just names for different sides. I think Crowley sees Evil as a way of stress-testing humanity. When he pleads with God he says "you're testing them, you said you would test them, but you shouldn't test them to destruction". It's not the testing that bothers him, it's the destruction. With Job, Crowley doesn't hesitate to destroy the barn and the house, he doesn't balk that it's all happening for a bet, but he won't destroy the blameless goats and blameless kids. He pokes at Job's insecurities but Job is steadfast, passing God's test. But Crowley does step in when Cetis is about to spurn God because of the loss of their children, because at that point the test is unfair. And with the paintball incident, he turned the paintball guns into real guns, and the humans know they are real guns. Crowley doesn't make them shoot- they want to shoot each other. They have no reason to expect miraculous escapes and fully intended to kill each other. They failed the test, but Crowley won't let them be destroyed for failing, either. And they get punished for failing by getting arrested.

And I think this comes through in the type of evil Crowley spreads- petty irritants, mostly. He doesn't make anyone do anything they don't want to go, he just gives them a nudge. And if they fail, they put a light tarnish on their soul. But here's the thing: tarnish actually comes off pretty easy if you bother to try.

#crowley #good omens #good omens meta #good omens 2 spoilers

[lloyds1fan]

Okay so this is an angst story about lloyd growing oni/dragon horns/stubs. This is my first time writing a fanfic so no hate plz, also if you want to know more about my au I posted about it along with a picture.

Lloyd woke up to his alarm blaring on his bedside table while kai knocked on his door telling him to wake up. Lloyd sat up and for a moment debated wether or not he felt like blasting his alarm with energy or just unplugging it, he went with the second option. He felt his head begin to throb with pain as he sat up and walked to the door slowly while kai continued to knock. He opened the door to a bored and tired looking kai. "You need to get up when your alarm goes off the first time instead of hitting snooze, your gonna be late for training." Kai said with slight irritation in his voice. Lloyd looked at the clock on the wall behind kai and groaned loudly then sighed "give me a few minutes and I'll be dressed and ready, don't worry I'll be on time" lloyd said as he closed the door.

----------

When lloyd walked outside after getting dressed and quickly eating a granola bar from the kitchen. He spotted the other ninja training as usual, cole and zane were doing hand to hand combat while nya and jay practiced balancing on the tall wooden beams in the corner. Kai sat on the steps looking at lloyd expectantly, he had been waiting for lloyd so they could also practice hand to hand combat but lloyd, as kai had expected was late by about 5 minutes.

Lloyd and kai began to practice their hand to hand combat as usual but lloyd was having more trouble then usual. Kai noticed this and wanted to ask lloyd what was wrong but decided it could wait till after training.

Lloyd had a throbbing headache and felt a bit weak but he didn't want to say anything, he didn't think that the headache was bad enough to stop his training for and master Wu had already let them have the day before off and lloyd didn't want to get behind on training.

Lloyd fell back as kai kicked him in the gut, luckily they were practicing on foam mats but as Lloyd fell he hit his head and suddenly he felt a sharp pain shoot through the top of his head and he groaned as he sat up and held his head in his hands trying to calm the headache. Kai looked at Lloyd concerningly as he held out his hand for Lloyd to take so he could stand up, but suddenly Lloyd felt light headed and he could see as his vision blurred and the world went dark.

Lloyd woke up and took a moment to take in his surroundings, he was in the medbay, laying on a hospital bed with a bandage on his head. He looked over to the window to only see darkness outside. How long had he been asleep? Lloyd wondered. Suddenly the door to the med bay opened and in walked zane and kai, who were talking were talking about something sense Wu had said. Kai glanced over to see a Lloyd who looked thoroughly confused. Kai walked over to Lloyd as zane who also had realize that Lloyd was awake, searched through one of the cabinets. "Wha- what happened?" Lloyd asked confused. "Well you passed out and started bleeding from the head to put it plainly" kai said with an amused look. "What?!" Lloyd exclaimed. "It seems that you have horns growing in, it seems to be a very painful and tiring experience causing you to pass out from exhaustion" zane said calmly as he approached Lloyd, "may I take off your bandages now?" Zane asked. "Uh- yeah sure" Lloyd said a little confused as he tried to take in the situation.

Zane carefully took the bandages off lloyds head and wiped off the dried blood with a cold wet cloth he had grabbed while kai and Lloyd had been chatting. After zane finished he stepped away for a moment to take care of the wet cloth while kai stayed by lloyd for a bit. Soon after, zane and the other ninja came in. "He looks like he has tiny goat horns! But they are golden! Cooool!" Jay exclaimed as he stood by lloyds bed. "Goat horns?" Lloyd questioned. "According to master Wu the horns are more dragon like than oni and that they will probably grow an inch or two longer before curling backwards a tiny bit. So yeah I guess they are like goat horns" Nya explained. "How do you feel short stack?" Cole asked Lloyd. Lloyd took a moment to think before saying "To be honest I feel exhausted.". "We should let him rest then" zane said before beginning to shoo the other ninja out of the room so Lloyd could rest.

----------

Over the next few days lloyds strength came back and within about 3 days he was back to training with the others. He did have a bit of difficulty getting used to the horns though, sense wu had been right and the horns grew to be about 3-4 inches long and at the tip they curled backwards slightly. Lloyd found he couldn't properly wear his or his gi so he had to get holes cut and properly sewn into all of his hats and his gi which he was embarrassed to ask zane to do because A) he didn't know how to sew and B) he felt odd about the horns. But over time he got used to them and the other ninja helped him feel comfortable about them.

THE END.

This took quite a while to write but I hope you enjoyed it! If you want more lloyd fanfics let me know.

#ninjago #oni lloyd #dragon lloyd #kai ninjago #zane ninjago #jay ninjago #cole ninjago #ninjago angst #nya ninjago #wu ninjago #fanfic

[fountainpenguin]

Added a tag on my blog for #flower exes in case you're a follower who wants to block analyses/commentary like this going forward. I'll try to make a list of other tags that might be useful for other relationships.

---

ngl but I think this snippet from Scott's Real Life POV:

Scott: /kills Jimmy Jimmy staring as Scott hands him a flower: You know what happens if you give me this... [Marriage proposal] Scott, almost dismissively: Yeah, it worked last time Jimmy, after Scott hands him a flower: You are not forgiven Scott, having already walked away and not even looking at him: Thank you Jimmy for forgiving me!!

is just such a painfully accurate mirror of how I see their characters' roleplay in general. Like!!!! I just have to talk about it, sorry. I'm obsessed.

---

This is about the Jimmy & Scott dynamic. Not using their duo name so it doesn't show up in tags.

This is about characters, not real people; my personal interpretation of their dynamic. I'm very aware IRL Jimmy lets people mock him for silly dynamics and that everyone is friends.

Disclaimer, I haven't watched their 3rd Life POVs start to end since late 2022, I think? I may have some details wrong.

---

To me, Character Scott exists in this void where he can do and say whatever he wants to Character Jimmy, including ripping him and his skills apart both in front of people and behind his back (Ex: Dogwarts banner burning / bringing up Jimmy's failure with their allies in front of Jimmy and mocking him).

Scott does this several times in 3rd Life. He calls Jimmy his husband, but doesn't seem to respect him... I really want to comb back through 3rd Life sometimes because I remember him calling Jimmy's house ugly and creating a wall so he doesn't have to look at it.

Anyway, he mocks Jimmy's skills and decision-making in regards to all 3 of his husband's deaths, I'm pretty sure (Stuff like "I told you not to step on it! Why would you step on it? I told you you have to shoot it!" and the lava game and the red desert battle).

Iirc, two of his mockeries happen while he's standing over Jimmy's Minecraft corpse, sdklfj. This is not a man who is in mourning. I saw a post once that said 3rd Life Scott is like a widow who exaggerates her emotional displays so she can wear pretty mourning clothes and honestly. yeah. [Paraphrasing]

Found the post

He can be controlling and demanding (i.e. not letting Jimmy make his own decisions about their cows and very publicly arguing / belittling him / interrupting him when Jimmy comes home, all while several other people watch... Sir. Sir, I want to pick you up and shake you.)

It is not for no reason this man's nickname is Gatekeep. And he wears it proudly. aaah.

And the thing is!!! Character Scott lives in a world where he can just say stuff to Jimmy and Jimmy's not going to do anything about it. Yeah, he'll steal Jimmy's goats. He'll ignore Jimmy's goat horn call for a laugh. He'll capitalize on Jimmy's ranch dreams and try to crush him out of existence, laughing at him for having no goats (because he stole the goats). He apologizes to Tango for not replying to the goat horn, but not to Jimmy. He has no shame in playing the bit. That is his friend and he's going to torment him. lol.

He straight-up gaslights (Hilariously, without lying) when he's accused of killing Jimmy's goats. His word choice is so careful when he says things like "I will say, the entire time I could have seen [Cleo and Martyn], they were standing outside the ranch" and not admitting he dug underground and smuggled the goats out.

Character Scott is so fey-coded to me... He is trying to play. He's like a puppy that hasn't learned to control bite strength because he just keeps biting Jimmy and Jimmy doesn't get upset, so Scott is just playing in his POV but. mm. the outside looking in (me) is just. mm.

I can't stop writing 'fics where Scott is oblivious to how harsh he is. In his mind, it's play and he doesn't realize how far it's going- he just keeps escalating. I could talk forever about how Scott's version of 3rd Life heaven was living with Jimmy, but everything was prettier, and Jimmy came up to greet him because he missed him. Scott........ Scott, I just wanna talk.......

And then he seems puzzled when Jimmy doesn't flock to him. I feel like the Limited Life scene is a well-known one in the community: Scott says "I love you" to Jimmy and tries to get Jimmy to "say it back."

Jimmy chooses not to, standing his ground and seemingly implies that he will not express kindness to Scott in exchange for reward (Life), even though Scott's teasing and trying to coax him to because "uwu, don't you love your adorable husband? You would never hurt me."

smh... Character Scott, did you forget that in Limited Life, you've given Jimmy no reason to fawn over you? Why would he say he loves you? You can't just walk up to him and expect that, you silly man.

Shepscapades drew a gorgeous comic about this exact thing. The oblivious, smiling look Scott gives with his tilted head is just. my everything

Like!!! Scott, I don't know how to tell you this, but your actions have consequences and Jimmy isn't coming back. Scott is a satellite who revolves around him, feeling positive feelings towards Jimmy and expecting that Jimmy returns them..... ah.

In my mind he revolves around Pearl in a similar way (Ex: throwing her out without giving her a chance to explain herself when she came back in Double Life- I'm not judging whether it was the right or wrong choice because live your dreams, block dude, but... he really just made his own decisions about how that roleplay was gonna go down, disregarding their past nice times. One false step and Pearl hit the chopping block with no prior communication <3)

And he will just not let go of them. He is my clingy allay hybrid and I think he's fun. Augh. They are so toxic in my mind /positive; boy, that guy sure has multiple facets and a three-dimensional characterization

It's one of the reasons he vibes so well with Cleo... It's a relationship built on gaslighting and gatekeeping. They do not take each other too seriously. And he's considerably less snippy with her, especially in Double Life where he plays the role of fawning over her, and just. man.

Allay hybrid who finds someone to circle, but also can't let go of anyone. He will swap around with no ill intent or sadness, interchanging, picking up where he left off... (To me)

Anyway, this is why in Dog's Life, Jimmy cut ties with all his romantic relationships and is spending time by himself- He's quietly working through all the things Scott and others have said to him while he's vulnerable in a relationship, but he'd never tell him or anyone else this unless he had to. He puts those feelings aside so he can do co-worker things... but he needs time alone.

Even in his POVs, he doesn't explain that to the reader. It's not the reader's business. He's taking time for himself and he's not going to talk about it. He will not demonize his friends... He struggles to even say anything negative about his friends. He doesn't want to look like he's upset even on accident.

There's an upcoming scene where Scott's very overwhelmed and has basically come crashing down, practically begging Jimmy to explain why he dumped him (in this 'fic universe). Jimmy caves and explains a little about why he didn't feel they work, but doesn't go into detail. Even with the simplified explanation, Scott is just... mind-boggled and offended. He was just playing!!

Scott. You NEED to grow as a person. Aaaaaaaah. I want them to have their arc where Jimmy has handled everything as quietly, privately, and gracefully as he could and meanwhile Scott is unraveling everything he knows about himself and starting to look at himself from outside eyes.

All this to say... I liked that moment in Scott's Real Life POV. Jimmy hesitating. Scott being like "Well, last time you excused/forgave all my behavior.

Jimmy digging in his heels... "You are not forgiven."

Scott, walking off... "Thank you for forgiving me!!!"

Aaaugh. I'm gonna be sick about them. It's such a cycle of Jimmy pulling away and Scott oblivious... It is so important to me... and yes I did spend like 2 hours on this post just thinking about this 3-second exchange in the April Fools episode and now it is so late at night... do u understand, though? Them <3

Closing Disclaimers - This is a personal observation about their characterizations because I draw on these moments a lot in my fanfics.

Please don't reblog this post out of anger- I am aware they are a popular ship and that my view is not a popular interpretation, but I like them this way. I like dropping the characters in situations where they need to face who they are. I get excited when I see crumbs connected to my interpretation show up in the canon and I wanted to talk about how something I saw fit my interpretation.

I have absolutely 0 problem with others liking this ship. Heck, I've read some awesome fics of them! I did my best to tag and warn appropriately (and not use their ship name so it won't be in tags). I don't normally talk about them, but I'll use the #flower exes tag in the future when it comes up.

Please don't leave mean comments in the replies, send Anon hate, etc. You don't have to agree, so just block and move on if you're uncomfortable. It's never my intention to bash- I just want to convey the joy I feel when I see a portrayal I like. Thanks! <3

#See. I like duo tags because they are not inherently romantic. but do you understand my predicament. #Sorry to my followers who have my MC tag blocked; not adding it to this post as I don't want it in main tags :') #Flower exes #ridwriting #director's cut #Pixels Imperfect #Dog's Life #Dog's Life spoilers #ridspoilers #Long post

[theskyexists]

Actually I want to say more. Because the film goes: she becomes a whore because she sees the sense of it and she is not disgusted or humiliated by sex. But then she realises and argues: I am disgusted by sex with some people (who are stinky), the world should be so that in this job I should be able to choose. Then Mrs Swiney manipulates her with truths and a certain worldview: choice shouldn't be the goal, experiences should be. Bella DOES gain a lot of insight into different desires and experiences lots of different things (humiliation degradation, is what Mrs. Swiney says but we don't really see it). She ameliorates the stinkiness with perfume. BUT Bella does realise that Mrs Swiney manipulates her, and she says: my empathy is turning into rage and despising others. This implies that actually, this work IS DAMAGING HER. Mrs. Swiney says that's good. You have to go through it and come out the other end. We never learn what is meant by that. Whether we should take her wisdoms seriously or as more manipulation. Perhaps going through it is Bella's meeting with Patriarchy personified in the form of her husband/father and shooting it in the foot then throwing away its brain? Meanwhile, while whoring she goes to meetings on socialism. She charges 30francs which isn't much. She never does unionise her workplace. She inherits money, a house, a doctor's practice. She becomes a doctor, and regains her upper class position. She always had an out.

But Max Mccandles and Bella have a talk and 'her body is her own to do with as she wishes' - the thesis of the film on sex. And Bella says to press the point 'cocks, inside of me, for money' - which is the subliminal thesis of the film: to untie a sense of disgust or humiliation from sex, even paid-for sex having not chosen her partner or deriving pleasure from it. Under duress. (Except not because SHE had an out)

The conclusion of the film on whoring then is, I guess, that even the most resilient and suitable woman will find it does damage, but it is not disgusting or shameful. Which is a bit of a contradiction, maybe. How then does it do damage. Why did Bella find her empathy turn to rage? But it's never taken any further. If she hadn't been called away, what would have happened? Nor does the film ever consider any other line of work for her when she experiments with being poor. And the conclusion on socialism is that of Harry's, the cynic. It doesn't do shit. Because Bella didn't do shit with it. Her landlady got away with it. But that's ok because she had an out.

Her first act as an aspirational doctor (who are supposed to make the world a better place - that's the throughline) is cracking open somebody's skull and implanting a goat brain (throwing away the general's...most likely, killing him anyway). Something she called Godwin and Max monsters over and she doesn't even have the flimsy excuse of the general not wanting to live. Naturally, he is the patriarchy and would destroy them if they let him. Her grandfather and father and Max are doctors but their only interventions seem to be absolutely insane experiments. Not doctors really but scientists. what the hell is that message anyway. No message, I guess.

I CAN see the rage that she gleaned in whoring as culminated in shooting the patriarch who would imprison her again and violate and maim her body to curb her 'sexual hysteria'. But the whole thing about making the world a better place? Monstrous murderous interventions can be used for good? (Murder the right person?) Doctor as in doubtful morality. I don't know.

#my stuff #personal #vidi #poor things

[bokettochild]

Scars

This was prompted by seemingly nothing but it's the first productive thing my brain has done it a while so here

“What’s the craziest scar you have?” Wind asked randomly one night. 

The other heroes stopped what they were doing and looked to each other. Blue in all shades, and one set of hazel, flashed in the firelight as a few smiles formed and others smirked. 

Four motioned to their left ear. “A cat bit off the tip of my ear when I was a kid.” 

Warriors spun in his seat to look at the smithy at his side, “Is that why you hate cats?” 

“Yep.” 

Well that made sense. It also explained Four’s issue with people talking about claws. Wind had noticed that Four tended to shiver when those were brought up and he’d always sort of wondered. 

Time holds up his hand, on the outer side of it a small pink scar can be seen, one which most of them tended to gloss over but Wind had always assumed was because the man nicked himself with his sword once or something. “My mom bit me when I was a kid.” 

Faces fall and the heroes stare in shock and horror until Hyrule kicks their leader. “Your mother was a fairy, Time! How else was she to discipline you?” 

The man smiles but pulls his hand back, eye sparkling at their still frozen faces. 

Twilight hums softly. “I had my arm chopped off once.” 

All eyes instantly turn the rancher’s way. He still has his arm. Both of them. “When did that happen and how do you still have it?” 

A shrug. “A goat put it back. Scars still there though. It’s weird, sometimes I get phantom pains ‘spite still havin’ my arm. My brain just can’t process that it’s s’posed to be there or somethin’.” 

Warriors nods slowly. “Mood. I almost lost my leg during the war and I still have to remind myself it’s there sometimes.” 

Well, this is going downhill fast! He wanted to prompt some stories! Not a trauma fest!  

Wind shoots a look at Legend, the man usually has something to say at times like these, but the vet just stares back and shakes his head slowly. “Nothing interesting, sorry, sailor. Not the kind of stories you’re looking for.” 

Poop. Maybe Wild then? 

The champion chuckles, rolling up one sleeve to show a rather impressive scar on his good arm. “See this?” 

“How could we not?” The captain grimaces, looking more than a bit pained. 

Wild smirks. “Splinter.” 

Eyes widen and gazes trail back to the rather massive scar. 

“How big of a splinter?” Legend asks warily. 

The champion doesn’t answer, he just rolls his sleeve back down and gets back to doodling in one of his notebooks, looking entirely pleased with himself. 

“Champion, how big?” Warriors presses. 

Wild still doesn’t answer, he doesn’t even react and though Wind is dying to know he could also kiss his brother on the cheek for helping to lighten the mood again and playing coy the way he is. 

The rest of them huff, exchanging glances (and grins in Time’s case) and start discussing quietly among themselves. He knows he hears Warriors trying to calculate how big the thing must have been and Hyrule correcting him softly about whatever mathematical formula or nonsense they’re trying to use. Sticks are grabbed from the woodpile and the dirt is etched over several times before the captain caves and darts for his own bag and notebook. 

The rest of them watch, both entertained and intrigued by the answer, and it’s quiet in camp for a moment before Legend breaks it with a drawl. “Surprised the old man didn’t say he got scarred with a sliver of the moon or something.” 

The leader’s brows twitch just the slightest bit. “And who says I didn’t? Wind asked for craziest scars, vet.” 

Violet eyes twinkle slightly as Legend leans forwards, leveling their leader with a stare that’s met with equal force from the other side of the camp. The fire flickers between them, casting odd shadows and making them look quite strange indeed. “And being bitten by yer ma is the craziest you can get, Old Man?” 

“I don’t hear you beating that, vet.” Time’s lips quirk upwards for all of a second before his face is blank, only his good eye flickering enough to show a slight smile. 

Legend scoffs, but leans back into his own space as a few of the others giggle, Sky especially. The Chosen Hero nudges his friend gently, looking down at the vet with a teasing look. “What, you’re not going to tell them about the goat thing?” 

He’s never seen Legend blush, and he almost thinks the other will, but Legend only shakes his head, smiling slightly as Twilight looks to him in confusion. “Goat thing?” 

“Not explaining, rancher.” 

Sky rolls his eyes with a scoff. “Fine then.” Bright eyes turn Wind’s way with a smile he loves and which holds more warmth than their fire. “Zelda accidentally stabbed me with a knife when we were kids.” 

Across the fire, Warriors chokes and both he and Hyrule start up to stare at the Chosen Hero. 

Sky continues, entirely clueless, or else fully aware and pretending to be clueless. “We were pretending to be sword fighting and had stollen some knives from the school kitchens. I managed to trip her, but she ended up careening forwards and stabbing me in the leg.” He chuckles. “It hurt bad, and we were grounded for weeks, but it’s only a little scar and I honestly can’t feel it most days.” 

Four nods slowly, sagely. “I fractured my own ankle once trying to convince someone of something. It didn’t scar, but it sure hurt a lot.” 

To his surprise, while most of the others look vaguely concerned, he knows he sees Time crack a smile and Legend sniggers a bit into his hand.  

Hyrule nods though. “I once broke my leg in a keyhole. The bone cut right through and the scar is really nasty.” 

That gives them all pause save Legend who jumps up with a look of horror. “Excuse me you what?” 

#linkeduniverse #linked universe #lu legend #lu four #lu twilight #lu warriors #lu wild #lu time #lu hyrule #lu wind #linked universe fanfiction #idiot writes

[ladybeug]

hello!! i love your fanmix for metamorphosis! as a fellow mountain goat and metamorphosis enthusiast i was wondering what were your thoughts on heel turn 2 as an adrien song, considering both the lyrics and the definition of a heel turn in wrestling?

I would absolutely love to share my thoughts and I will give you the bottom line up front which is that heel turn 2 is not an Adrien song.

I’m guessing we may already be on the same page here, but you have given me a fantastic opportunity to talk about heel turn 2 and I am taking it!!

We’re talking about this at all because, as you and I know (but other people might want a refresher), heel turn 2 is a song about a good guy who decides to be a bad guy.

I can sum up why it’s not an Adrien Metamorphosis song with a quick look at one lyric, which holds the tone of the entire song: Throw my better self overboard, shoot at him when he comes up for air.

Consider: Adrien throws his better self overboard. But then when his better self comes up for air, he throws a lifesaver, and eventually grabs on with both hands and painfully hauls said self back on the boat, at great personal risk and injury. This is opposite to the spirit and point of heel turn 2.

We have now talked lyrics, let's talk wrestling metaphors, and for that I'd like to turn to Mr Mountain Goats himself. Indulge me with this, it's long but worth it:

The first time I ever heard Heel turn 2 was live in concert, at the filmore in SF 2015. I went to see the tour without listening to the album, I was there for the hits. I didn't know anything about wrestling, but before he sang heel turn 2, John Darnielle spoke for about two and a half minutes and I'll never forget it because I recorded it and I have that mp3 on my computer close to ten years later and I have just transcribed it for you here:

“The beauty of wrestling is that, you know… in life, you meet somebody, maybe someone you know, family, whatever… and you would like to say, that’s just a villain, that’s an evil villain! But you know, we also had some times that were special, that were amazing… but the evil, evil villain was genuinely evil! But then we did some things… and it’s complicated, it’s what makes your whole existence complicated! Because everybody you know is like that.

But you yearn in your spirit for the heroes and the villains, you would like to have somebody where you go: that’s an asshole, I don’t like that guy, I hate that guy. This is the gift that wrestling gives us. We have the heels.

Now they’re complex – but the question of good or evil is not complex. Either they’re bad or they’re good. Eventually, they boil down to that. You see the bad guy and you know that all he wants to do is hurt the good guy. It defines him, his desire to wound and injure, and cause the good guy to suffer.

And the good guy, you see him, you don’t know much about him besides that he’s good, because you know, good is sort of less magnetic than evil.

But one of the greatest things that can happen in wrestling is when the good guy – the ‘face’, which is short for babyface, when the good guy, in front of everybody, turns heel. And the reason it’s great is because you can relate, right, you watch him, and you think... oh man. He’s decided he doesn’t care if people hate him now. He’s going to get what he wants.

Neither you nor I will ever have that moment in our lives. This is not going to happen. Because you do care – yes, you do – you can’t rid yourself of that because if you do rid yourself of that then you’re a sociopath, so you have to live in the complex world.

But in wrestling you get to enjoy, vicariously, the sight of somebody going, “I am going to embrace evil. And get out of here alive. And that’s the only thing that matters in my entire life, at this moment, in front of all these people. This is called Heel Turn 2.”

Heel turn 2 is not about Adrien. Adrien in metamorphosis lives in the complex world, where he has to care about what people think of him or he’s a sociopath. He struggles nonstop with the evil evil villains who he had some amazing times with, but they were evil, and he also IS the evil villain, but... and it’s complicated, because everyone you know is like that!

In my mind, Adrien is one of us, the people watching wrestling, and listening to this song, who can feel the relief and vicious joy of somebody going “I am going to embrace evil. And get out of here alive.” because it’s something we can never have. That’s the connection for me, that the catharsis of heel turn 2 would land with him, rather than that heel turn 2 describes him as a cathartic figure for the reader.

Which is why it’s not an Adrien song, but why we are here having this conversation. Thank you so much for asking.

#have i thought about this??? yes #it was not the right song for the mix #but i felt the connection #the longing for conviction and righteousness in the face of confusion and loss of identity #thank you for asking honestly such a treat #GREAT question #great taste by the way in both mountain goats and metamorphosis :) #metamorphosis #this feels very presumptuous of me disclaimer this is all thru the lens of my brain i dont claim to know anything about metamorphosis #im just some guy #this is insane who let me do this #(jim carrey the mask voice) somebody stop me

[zarvasace]

salad of heroes

The most mediocre-effort Everyone Meets minific you will ever find. The Links are coming together! Wow! It's the beginning of an adventure and everyone is so stoked! (you can guess who's less enthusiastic)

Disability AU, 8421 words, AO3 link here. No particular warnings. Except for the fact that I didn't even read over this a second time.

---

When the clear sound of portal magic rang out from behind Link, he sighed and covered his eyes for just a moment with his hand. Really? Again? Portals? 

He whirled around when someone stepped out, right onto his bedroom floor.

The man stared at Link, his right eye hidden by a leather patch, his left wide and a familiar shade of bright blue. He wore light armor, though the design made the back of Link's neck prickle, as did the markings on the man's face, just under the eye patch. 

"Link?" the man asked, his voice rapidly shifting from shock to surprise. 

Link frowned. 'Do I know you?' he signed, hoping this man somehow knew the language. 

The man's face crinkled in a reluctant smile. "It's been a while for me, yes, though not as long for you. I'm Mask." He added the sign name Link had given him to make it clear, a mixture of the signs for 'mask' and the letter L, since his name was also Link. 

'Mask,' Link repeated, blinking in shock. 'You grew up.' 

"I did. I have a wife and a farm." Mask looked proud of himself. "And before you ask, I don't know what that portal was. I didn't particularly want to leave, though I'm not too disappointed I came here. It's good to see you again."

'You, too. Your eye… your face and armor. What happened?' Link had some idea, but didn't really want to put the thought into words. This older Mask was strange. Familiar, but changed, and Link didn't really know how to react. 

Mask winced and waved a hand. "Let's leave that for another time. I think I feel another portal coming, you might want to get your things."

With a reluctant nod, Link turned back to his bookshelf and put his book down. He'd been looking forward to that. Oh well. 

Armor, a note, and one packed bag later, Link and Mask stood in front of another portal, identical to the last. 

Mask held out his hand. "Let's not get lost."

Link nodded his agreement and took his hand. It was much larger than last time they'd gone through a portal, but familiar nonetheless. Together, they took a step into the blackened magic, leaving Warriors's castle behind for new vistas. 

That new vista happened to be the edge of a small town in the forest, just outside a rough-hewn fence next to a sturdy tree. A young man with another rather familiar face, not to mention strange facial tattoos, stood on the other side of the fence, frozen with one of his hands on a goat's horn. 

No, Link realized, his only hand. 

"Who are you?" the young man asked in accented but understandable Hylian, taking a step back. His goat bleated but followed him. "Do I know you?" He directed the question towards Mask, looking over the armor. 

"I… don't think so," Mask answered, shooting a glance at Link to double-check that neither of them had ever met the kid. Link shook his head. 

"Well, who are you?" 

Link winced, but decided to try the signing anyway. Maybe the kid knew it. 'My name is Link, I'm the general of the Hyrule Army.'

"No, you're not," the kid said, narrowing his eyes. At least he'd understood. "I know the general, and he's not you. Is this a joke?"

"What's your name?" Mask asked, and oddly enough, the kid relaxed a fraction. 

"Link."

Link snorted. 'So is mine. And his. Are you a Sacred Hero of Light, by chance?'

The new Link still looked wary. "I'm the Hero of Twilight, yes."

'Then that's what we'll call you,' Link said. 'Twilight. I'm the Hero of Warriors, so I suppose my name is Warriors.' 

"Warriors," the new Link tried. "That's a mouthful. I'll call ya Wars. And you?" 

"I'm the Hero of Time." Mask sounded resigned. "I think we're on another time-traveling journey, gathering Heroes for some reason. You're probably meant to come along."

The newly dubbed Twilight looked them over. "You did just pop out of a portal. I guess I can believe you, maybe. Prepare for adventure, huh? I can do that."

He put away the goats and invited them into his house, which was built up on the sturdy tree, oddly enough. It was a cozy place, if a bit rustic for Link's taste. Warriors's taste. He winced. That was a mouthful. 

"Not to pry," Twilight said from his loft. He glanced down at the two of them sitting awkwardly at his table and started to climb back down. "But why don't you talk, Wars? No judgment. I went through a period of mutism, myself, not that signing worked too well with just the one hand." That explained the fact that he knew sign language, even if it was still a bit confusing why it was the same sign language. 

'My voice doesn't work very well,' Link—Warriors, he should remember that—signed so Twilight could see. 'It's easier this way.'

"I'll take your word for it." Twilight pulled a sword belt on over his shoulder and concluded with a backpack. 

Mask, now Time, stood up. "May I ask about your arm?"

"Reindeer ate it," Twilight answered easily. 

Warriors and Time exchanged an odd look. 

"Sorry," Twilight said after a second, laughing. "I get that question a lot. I was born without it, as far as we can figure."

Time cracked a smile. "Then I'm sure you have a lot of ridiculous answers."

"Of course I do. So where are we going?"

Warriors shrugged. Before he could get the chance to say anything, though, he heard the sound of a portal to his left, near the front door. He sighed. 'We don't know.'

Twilight frowned out at the portal. "I'm a bit hesitant to leave. Monster attacks are increasing, and I'm one of the only ones who can do anything about them."

"I don't think we have a choice," Time told him. "Though… it is a bit of a coincidence that the same thing has been happening at my home."

'And mine,' Warriors said. 'More than coincidence, now.' 

"Well," Twilight sighed, "maybe this will help that, then. How many more Links are there? I'm familiar with stories about the Hero of Men."

"As am I," Time agreed. "Perhaps he predates us both."

Twilight shifted on his feet, still staring at the portal. "I'm not familiar with the Hero of Time, though."

"Not all stories are meant to be passed on." 

'That isn't ominous,' Warriors said, though he couldn't blame Time. 'I know of three or four others, at least.' 

"Then I guess we just need to get going." Twilight nodded. "Meet these other Heroes."

Time held out a hand toward Twilight. "We've been holding hands. The portals are a little… disorienting."

Though he hesitated for a moment, Twilight nodded and took the hand. Warriors grabbed Time's other hand, and together they walked into the next portal. 

The first thing Warriors registered was the wind chill. His scarf blew around his body, and he shivered against the wind. On Time's other side, Twilight let go and rubbed at his head. 

"Disorienting? Yes. Ugh."

Warriors winced in silent apology and shielded his eyes with his hand to look around for their next Hero. 

Sure enough, another sandy-haired young man faced away from them, tending to a small garden outside of a colorful building. He didn't seem to be bothered by the wind, despite it whipping his hair around. 

"Hello?" Twilight called over the wind. 

The new presumably-Link didn't look up. 

Perhaps the wind was too loud. Warriors took a few steps forward and waved within the new kid's line of sight. 

Three seconds later, Warriors found himself facing the bright blue sky with the kid on top of him, a dagger pressed to his neck. Hey. The kid was good. And not entirely a kid, he looked a bit older now that Warriors could see his face. 

"I don't know you. Who are you?" he asked, his voice a little louder than it needed to be, with every consonant clear and precise. 

Warriors couldn't respond with his arms trapped beneath the kid's weight. He sighed and mouthed the word instead. 'Link.' 

"Yes, I'm Link. I asked who you are."

Twilight got up closer, and the new Link tensed, turning his way, but Twilight just spoke. "He's Link. And so am I. And so is he." 

The new Link squinted at him. "Say that again."

"We're all Link. We're all Heroes, from across time, we think."

"Heroes," the new Link echoed. He thought for a moment, then got off of Warriors. "I hope you don't mind if I prove that claim." 

"How do you plan on doing that?" Time asked, his arms folded. 

The new Link looked them over. "Come with me." He turned to go. 

Twilight offered his hand to Warriors, who took it to stand up. He rubbed at his neck. 

'He's talented,' Warriors signed, and Twilight nodded his agreement. 

The three of them followed the new Link around a few buildings and up to a cave. They hesitated, but let him lead them inside. It wasn't a very big cave, but was lit well with natural vents and shielded from the wind. The new Link went right up to the altar at the far end and picked up a sword. A very familiar sword. He turned to face them, blade gleaming. 

"Okay, I believe you two, now," Twilight muttered. "That's the Master Sword." He wasn't the only one with a reaction. Time scowled, and Warriors looked at it with reverence and wariness. 

The new Link waited a moment, looking them over with the sword in his hands. "She says you're actually Heroes. Hm. That isn't what I expected to find today." He lowered the sword and smiled. "In that case, it's nice to meet you. I'm Link, though you knew that, and I'm the Hero of the Sky." 

"Then we'll call you Sky," Time said. "If that's amenable to you. We've been picking up nicknames according to our titles."

The newly named Sky frowned slightly. "I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" 

It was the second time he'd asked for someone to say something again. Warriors raised a hand for attention and tried something else. 

'Since we're all named Link, we've been picking nicknames that match our hero titles,' he signed. 'So yours is Sky.'

Sky brightened. "You know sign? That will make this go much more smoothly." He put the Master Sword back on the altar and signed, too. 'I can't hear very well.'

'Really? I don't speak very well, but I can hear. You do speak well, though.'

"Thank you." Sky signed as he spoke. "I've practiced a lot. I must admit I'm still confused, though—if you're all Heroes… are you from the surface? Are there other people out there?"

"We're from across time, actually," Time said. Warriors decided to interpret, and Sky smiled at him. 

"Across time." Sky nodded. "Not the strangest thing to have happened to me, by far. This almost makes sense. So what are your nicknames?" 

After a quick introduction, and the start of a few sign names based on first impressions, Sky picked up the Master Sword again. He took them to where he'd been working before, and left them outside so he could go pack. 

Warriors listened to the slightly awkward conversation Twilight and Time struck up, but didn't contribute. He was a little busy thinking about the timeline—just how many Links could there be? He knew of at least two more, if he really did recognize Twilight and Sky's eras. At least two, possibly three, if the Hero of Men was someone new. Hopefully, the Master Sword would make it easier for them to convince anyone else that they were for real. 

As soon as Sky returned, a smile on his face and the Master Sword on his back, another portal opened in front of the small group. 

"Shall we?" Time asked, offering out his hands. 

Warriors took one, Twilight took the other, and Sky took Warriors's other side with only a little confusion. And in they went to another portal. 

This was going to be a long day, wasn't it? 

The world warmed up quite a bit on the other side of the portal, and Warriors's boots hit the wood of a very small boat. Around them, the small dock on the beach looked abandoned. 

The boat honestly barely fit the four of them. The five of them. This time, the kid in front of the portal watching them come through had sun-bleached blond hair and a sword already in his hand. When he saw Warriors, though, he dropped the sword and ran up. 

Warriors shook off Time and Sky's hands to catch the kid in a hug, laughing. Man, he was heavier than before. That seemed to be a theme. 

"Link! Hi! Hey, you didn't change a bit! How are you?" The sailor stepped back to let him use his hands. 

'I'm fine. We're apparently gathering a bunch of Heroes from across time, wanna come with?' 

"Of course I do! What great timing, too, I've been getting bored." Warriors kept up the interpreting so Sky could follow along. 

Twilight interrupted. "Uh, how old are you, kid?" 

The sailor turned on him with a glint in his eye. "Fourteen, and a Hero twice over, so shove whatever ideas you have about 'too young' overboard to drown, landlubber."

Warriors laughed again, and Twilight looked like he didn't know whether to be offended or not. 

"Two adventures?" Sky asked. "Why two?" 

The sailor shrugged and picked his sword back up to sheathe it. "World needed saving twice, I guess. Or… whatever that second one was. There were definitely ghosts."

"I had two, as well," Time said. 

"Hold on." The sailor put his hands on his hips and looked Time over. "I know you."

Time almost smiled. "Everyone does, apparently."

"I don't," Sky said brightly. 

"You're the kid! Holy—" The sailor pointed at him. "You had two adventures, and your face, and your stupid smile! You're him! You got old."

"I'm not old," Time protested. "Just older. You're still insufferable." 

Twilight raised his hand to break it up. "Hey, kid, what's your Hero title? That's where we've been getting nicknames, we can't all be Link."

That successfully distracted the sailor. "I guess not. I'm the Hero of the Wind. What's yours? Hey, what happened to your arm?"

"I'm Twilight. And I ate too many lemons as a kid."

The sailor, Wind now, laughed and slung up a backpack. "Good one. I didn't eat enough lemons as a kid." He lifted up his left leg to showcase the leather and black-painted wood that extended past his knee. He hopped a few times to keep his balance before putting it down. "So who are the rest of you?"

"Sky, apparently."

'Warriors.'

Wind squinted at him. "I don't know that sign, it's been forever."

Sky helped out. "Warriors."

"That's a long name."

"Wars is a good nickname for the nickname," Twilight supplied. 

Wind laughed. "And it's pretentious, just like him!"

'I'm right here,' Warriors pouted. He was getting attached to the name. 

"Call me Time," said the last of them. "We don't know where we're going or how long it'll take, or even how many Heroes named Link there are. You still with us?"

Wind nodded resolutely. "Yep. There's a portal behind you."

"Of course there is," Twilight sighed. "They always seem to appear at the earliest moment we're ready. Time for another."

As had become practice, they grabbed each other's hands and abandoned this era for another. 

Warriors knew of at least one more era, one more Hero, perhaps two… yet he doubted it was the only one they still had left. 

The other end of this portal was actually nice. Late-afternoon sunlight filtered through the broad leaves of tall trees, and the air smelled sweet, with just a hint of sourness. 

This Link sat on the ground by a row of pea vines, piling picked pea pods into the skirt of his tunic. He looked up at them, noticed the Master Sword on Sky's back, and sighed up at the sky. 

"Really?" he yelled, loud enough to startle some birds from the trees and make Warriors jump. "I finally get to settle down, and you assign me more?" 

Warriors exchanged a look with Time, a bit worried.

"Uh… hi," Wind tried. "Is your name Link, too? What are you the Hero of?"

The new Link dumped the peas into a bucket with more force than necessary. "Yes, I'm Link. Everything and nothing. What world-ending calamity is there this time?" 

"We don't know," Time said. "You're not alone in your frustration, but I don't think there's much of a choice."

"Of course not," new Link muttered. He grabbed a cane laying on the ground that Warriors hadn't noticed and used it to push himself to standing. Then he grabbed the bucket of peas and turned to the house. "Come on. Who are all of you?"

Wind took it upon himself to introduce everyone. "I'm Wind, because I'm the Hero of Winds, and I lost my leg when a shark smelled my blood and ate it. That's Twilight, his arm disappeared into an interdimensional portal and he never found it." Twilight choked on laughter. "That one's Time, he's old,  he ate too much grapefruit and lost his eye. And Warriors, but you can call him Wars, his voice sounds weird now so he doesn't talk." Warriors rolled his eyes and signed thank you as sarcastically as he could. "And finally, that's Sky, he, uh… he has the Master Sword."

"I noticed," new Link said. "That's the only reason you're not burnt steaks right now." He used his cane as support, but didn't lean on it as heavily as Warriors had expected. 

Sky, who'd been following along with Warriors interpreting, spoke up. "I'm deaf."

"Ah, so that's why he's been signing the whole time." The new Link turned at the steps to the house to face them. "The goddesses really like their broken Heroes, huh?"

'Don't say that,' Warriors frowned, signing sharply. 'None of us are broken.'

"I am. Six adventures will do that to you."

"Six?" Twilight burst. "You're joking. We've just been on one or two. Is that an injury, then?" He gestured to the cane. 

The new Link snorted. "Wow. Yeah, it's been six, and I thought I was done. And… no, it's not an injury. I just go through weeks where everything sucks, and every time, the normal gets a little worse. Just got off an episode yesterday, actually, so. Look, when we go in there, do not buy anything, it's all overpriced."

"What?" Sky asked aloud, a beat later. 

"You'll see." Link opened the door and headed into the house. He set the bucket of peas on a table. "Come on in, I just gotta grab my stuff. Dumb adventuring stuff." 

Although Warriors had an inkling of what he'd find in the front room, the volume really shocked him. Every available surface past the hallway that led to the kitchen had something on it. The sheer volume of stuff ranged from creepy-looking masks to bottles of milk to magic items with… yep, tiny purple bunny ears. 

"Captain Hero!" a voice said, far too close for comfort. 

Warriors let out a shocked noise and jumped. 

"It is you!” said the short person next to him, wearing a long purple robe with his bunny-shaped hood pulled up. He, too, signed as he spoke, though his signs were messy. "Wow, to think, you came to visit me this time! And you brought friends! Still wearing your scarf, I see, very chic, I have some scarf pins over here you might like. Are you—"

'Ravio,' Warriors tried to interrupt the tirade. 

"Does he just know everyone?" Twilight whispered to Time behind him. Time made an I-don't-know noise. 

Ravio kept going, walking backwards farther into the room. 

'Ravio!' Warriors signed again, yelling as best he could with sharp signs. Ravio finally stopped mid-sentence. 'That guy back there is the Hero you wouldn't stop talking about?'

"Oh, yes, he's very good at what he does, believe me. Six adventures, you know?"

"We heard," Sky said, with his voice and hands. "It's quite a lot. Are you Link's friend?"

"That's me, yep, Ravio at your service. I'm the proprietor of this shop and everything in it is for sale, only the most reasonable prices for the friends of Captain Hero."

"That's a Farore-damned lie!" The new Link—he still didn't have a nickname—limped into the room with a different outfit, sturdier boots, and a lot of jewelry. "Your prices are awful."

Ravio put a hand up to his chest for a moment. "You hurt my feelings. Of course you're all getting discounts!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." The new Link shooed Wind away from one of the piles of jewelry. Warriors would bet that Wind had already taken some, dirty little pirate. "You have free run of this place while I'm gone, so don't trash it. And don't"—he got up close to Ravio—"let my garden die like last time."

"I'll do my very best," Ravio promised. "You have places to be."

"Wish I knew what those places were." The new Link stood straight in front of the group. Warriors noticed a weird patch of pink in his otherwise-blond hair. "People call me the Legendary Hero, which I guess makes my name Legend." 

Warriors nudged Wind for his attention and signed in small gestures. 'And you called me pretentious.'

The new Link gave him a flat look. "Warriors, right? That's because you are."

'Me? Pretentious? You'll eat those words, jewelry boy.'

"Jewelry boy, wow, how creative. I'm truly insulted. Where do we go from here?" 

Twilight pointed to behind Legend, where a portal swirled into existence. "That's how it's been happening."

Legend sighed, turned around, and marched right through the portal. 

Wind grabbed Warriors's hand. "Wait up! Bye, Ravio!" 

"Bye for now!" 

Warriors snatched Sky's cape, Sky took Twilight's hand, and Time grabbed Twilight's furs. One by one, connected, they went through the new portal. 

"Ugh, these portals are awful," Legend said on the other side. He clutched at his head. 

"They're a bit disorienting, I admit," Sky said, "but they seem to affect us differently. I'm not getting headaches."

"Where's the new Link?" Wind asked, spinning around in a circle. They stood in a red canyon, wind whistling through, carrying heat. "Helloooooo?" he called, hands cupped around his mouth. 

Time put a hand on Wind's shoulder. "We don't want to call undue attention, Wind."

'Honestly,' Warriors said, smiling briefly when Sky spoke his words so people could hear them, 'We might not need to worry about that. Every portal so far has led us right to the new Link, alone and with convenient timing.'

Legend grunted. "That's not suspicious at all."

"I assume it's the goddess's doing," Sky said mildly, looking around. 

"My point still stands."

Warriors rolled his eyes and inspected the canyon. It was true that this portal didn't put them right in front of a Link, as has happened every other time. Maybe it was the end, and they'd gathered all of the Heroes. In that case, there would be a threat, something to fight, wouldn't there? 

"I know this place," Twilight muttered. "The Link here is feral, and I mean that as both a good and a bad thing."

"Feral?" Time asked, an eyebrow raised. 

A boy in a blue cape landed on Time's shoulders, knocking him onto his back and making everyone panic. 

'Attacked again,' Warriors said, not really intending anybody to see, but Sky laughed. 

'Sorry,' Sky signed. 

'No harm done. Hopefully it'll be the same here.'

"How did you steal it?" the new Link asked with a growl, holding a glowing yellow spear dangerously close to Time's chest. His blue cape hid his head, but Warriors could see a good array of supplies held on his person, despite the odd lack of a pack. 

Time raised his hands. "Steal what?"

"Don't play dumb. The Master Sword. How did you even survive the seal? Or the woods, for that matter?" 

"We didn't steal the sword," Time said, trying to stay calm. 

"I don't know if she could be stolen like that." Sky approached, his hands raised in peace. "We aren't a threat to you or the people here. We're being pulled through time to find a lot of other Heroes. You're a Hero, aren't you?" 

The new Link paused, then nodded once. The spear pulled back a few inches, but Time didn't take the opening. 

Sky hesitated. "If you said something, I didn't catch it. I don't hear very well, and I can't see your face with the hood."

After another second, the new Link took a hand off of his spear to yank his hood back around his neck. Warriors was first struck with the length of his hair, and how tangled it looked. He winced. Then he noticed the scarring across the Link's face, focused on the left side of his jaw. It was awful scarring. 

"I didn't say anything," the new Link said. "I'm going to need proof that you aren't Yiga." 

"Yiga?" Wind asked in confusion. 

"Imposters," Twilight answered. That's right, he said he knew this Link, didn't he? Why wasn't there some kind of reunion? The new Link's eyes passed right over him, though Warriors thought he saw a hitch. 

Legend groaned in exasperation. "Nayru's nose, I'm so done with this. Look, Link, the goddesses don't let you say no to these things. We're all Link, hooray, just get off of Time." 

"That doesn't make sense," the new Link said, though he didn't seem too sure. 

"There's only one thing that makes sense in this Farore-forsaken world, and that's that nothing makes sense. Get used to it." 

Warriors sighed. 'Lay off of him, Legend. Is this what six adventures did to you? Made you jaded beyond belief?'

"You bet they did," Legend snapped back. 

Twilight tried mediation next. He stepped in Warriors and Legend's lines of sight. "Look, we don't know how long this is going to take, and it's getting dark, apparently time moves the same no matter which era we're in. Sky, would you draw the sword?" He mimed the action, which Sky understood. 

Carefully, and making eye contact with the new Link so as not to scare him, Sky pulled the Master Sword off his back and held it out flat. In his hands, and in the growing sunset, the blade glowed with an eerie, peaceful blue light. It lit Sky's face, and he smiled as he looked down at it. 

Warriors remembered how the sword felt in his hands. Part of him wanted to run up and take it again, but he crossed his arms instead. Sky respected its power, that was clear. He was the ideal wielder at the moment, not Warriors. 

"The blade only glows in the hands of a healthy Hero," Twilight said, and it appeared that the new Link knew that already. He nodded slowly and stepped off of Time, who sat up. 

With the tense atmosphere dissolving, Wind perked up again. "So, what's your name? Link, obviously.  We all are. I meant, what's your Hero title? Those are where we're getting our nicknames, since we can't all be Link. I'm Wind! That's Warriors, and Sky, and Twilight, and Time, and Legend. I think he's a bit of a jerk."

"Hey!"

The new Link smiled, just a little. It pulled higher on his right, opposite the scar. "It's not official or anything, but… I'm the Hero of the Wild."

"That makes sense," Wind said diplomatically, looking the now-Wild over. 

"So what's going on?" Wild asked, keeping his spear out. 

Warriors stepped forward so that Sky could see his interpreting better. 'We don't know. The portals are just dropping us off in front of Links who happen to also be Heroes.'

Thankfully, Wild understood him. How odd was it that all of them so far knew sign language? Sure, Warriors taught both Time and Wind at different points, and Sky was deaf, but… It was a mystery for Legend, Twilight, and Wild, now. It made things easier on him, but it still felt strange. 

"That's… weird."

"You need to pack for a journey. Where do you keep your things?" Time asked. 

Wild shook his head, hair flying. "On me. I have everything I need, though…" He unhooked a tablet-shaped item from his belt. It lit up with blue and orange light, and he poked the light. "I would have stocked up on more rice had I known I was going somewhere with… there are six of you."

"We have our own rations," Legend said, less grouchy than before. 

"Rations?" Wild looked up and frowned. "While I'm around? Never. When else will I get the chance to show off my cooking skills?" 

"You can cook?" Wind asked brightly. 

"Yeahhhh…" Wild trailed off, his eyes lifted. "What's that?" 

Warriors turned around, and Time sighed audibly. 

"It's our next portal. Come on, everyone, grab onto each other."

Wild ended up on the end of the line between Time and Twilight, who smiled encouragingly down at him. 

"The portals are a little rough, so hang tight."

"Rough?" Legend asked, caught between Warriors and Sky with his cane tucked into his belt. They headed into the portal single-file. "More like, these portals are a bit—"

His words were swallowed by the portal, and Warriors shook his head, towing Wind along behind him. 

The next world was very, very dark. Warriors couldn't see a thing, but he could feel Legend drop to sit on the ground, and he could hear the portal brushing out of existence. 

"Everyone made it through?" Time asked, lowering his voice. The way it echoed, the chill in the air… Warriors imagined this was a cave. 

A small chorus of affirmative noises bounced around the room. 

And an unfamiliar voice—well, more unfamiliar than the rest of these people—spoke back, young but firm. "Who are you? How did you find me?"

Legend snorted from his place on the floor. Despite Warriors trying to hold onto him, he ripped his hand away and, from the sounds of it, stood up. "Link, meet Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, Link, and Link. We're all Link. We're all Heroes. Why is it so Din-damned dark in here?" 

A spot of glowing orange lit up the space, illuminating Legend's face first, then Sky and the rest of them. Sky let out a breath, hand over his heart, and turned around. 

Standing in the dim light with an impressive ruby-and-silver sword in one hand and long staff in the other, the new Link had dirt on his face and rubbed into his clothes. Warriors could barely tell that his tunic was green. Despite the weapon, his posture was relaxing by the moment. 

"Not like the darkness changes much," the new Link said. Warriors looked a little closer, realizing at the same time that Twilight did. 

"You can't see," Twilight said aloud. 

The new Link's face hardened. "Is that a problem? If you're looking for me, you think you would've known that already."

Legend, of all people, answered. "We're not from here. Of course it's not a problem, we're all messed up somehow. Short version because I don't want to be here all day: we're time traveling through portals, nobody knows why, we keep finding more Links. Who knows when it'll end. You're the latest, chances are you'll be yanked through the next portal, too.

"You can call me Legend. I've been on six adventures, and I can mostly walk most days because my body hates me. The feeling is mutual."

"Oh." The new Link blinked, then sheathed his sword at his side. "Nice to meet you, then. I think."

Behind Warriors, Wild pulled out a torch and lit it, brightening up the cave that much farther. 

"Well?" Legend snapped into the silence. "Introduce yourselves, everyone, he has to know your voices."

"You can do that?" Wind asked in awe. 

The new Link snorted. "I would be stupid if I didn't memorize voices. And monster sounds."

Warriors couldn't pretend to know what being blind was like, but he thought it would be very hard to live the kind of lifestyle this kid obviously did. How had he survived? He was either very skilled, or very lucky. Possibly both. 

"My nickname is Sky," Sky said next. "I've been on one adventure, and I have the Master Sword." The name-drop didn't faze this new Link at all. Had he even heard of it? "I'm deaf, so if you need to talk to me… you don't happen to know sign language, do you?"

The new Link made a face, possibly one of confusion. "What is that?" 

"A way of speaking without sounds, using hand gestures instead. If you need to talk to me, then, perhaps find someone else."

Warriors realized then that he'd never really be able to communicate with this Link. Not directly, anyway. He'd always need an interpreter. That was a little bit depressing, he was starting to get attached to all of these crazy people. 

"Okay," the new Link agreed. "I can do that." He leaned against the wall. 

"I'm Twilight. One adventure. I'm missing my right arm a bit below the shoulder."

The new Link turned his head slightly in Twilight's direction. "You have dark magic on you." 

Twilight scowled, the markings on his forehead folding. "What? No, I don't."

"You do," the new Link insisted, though he didn't seem bothered. "But you're clearly still divinely blessed, so whatever it is, it's not a problem."

"I don't have dark magic," Twilight muttered, but Time took over. 

"You can call me Time. I'm the oldest of you lot, so far. Two adventures, myself. My right eye is missing, but my left one works just fine."

"You're the one wearing armor," the new Link said. 

"Yes. Good ears."

Wind went next, just as excited as he'd been the rest of the time. "I'm Wind! I think I'm the youngest so far! I got my left leg chewed up, but I have a wooden one now, and it's not hard to get around."

"Really? That's neat."

"It is so neat, I'm glad to be able to walk. I've had two adventures, maybe two and a half? Depends on how you read the second, it did all sort of happen in a dream, but I got a sword and Linebeck out of it, so…"

"A dream?" The new Link laughed. It was a nice sound. "That's weird."

"And I'm Wild. One… yeah, just one adventure, if you could call it that. I guess my thing is that I have some pretty heavy scarring on my side. It's not really an issue."

"What kinds of scars?" the new Link asked. At least he seemed to be getting comfortable with them. Warriors wondered when the next portal would open. 

Wild shrugged, holding the torch high. "Burn scars. Sort of."

Warriors felt his heart beat a little faster—it was his turn, wasn't it? It seemed like it. He wasn't nervous, he just… thought his voice sounded awful, and didn't particularly like letting people hear it. Sky nodded at him, and Warriors knew that if he chose to sign, Sky would speak for him. It was nice, to know he had someone to do that if he needed it, and Sky's voice was very calming. 

But, at the same time, if this Link relied on voices that much, he should at least know what Warriors sounded like. It wasn't a bad idea for the others to know, either, just in case. 

Warriors sighed and opened his mouth. "Wa-arrio-rs." Stupid vowels. They took way too much air and never came out right. "Ta-alking i-is h-ha-ard." 

The letter H was the worst. He wrinkled his nose and cleared his throat. His voice now always came out scratchy, broken, and a little painful.

"You can talk?" Wild asked in surprise, and Legend turned around to blink at Warriors, too. Sky smiled encouragingly. 

"Ba-arely-y." Warriors frowned and switched back to sign only. He hoped that the way his face flamed wasn't visible in the dim, warm light. 'It can be painful. I don't do it often.'

Sky nodded. "He says it can hurt," he said aloud for the new Link's sake. "So he doesn't do it often. He uses sign language for the most part, which apparently everyone else knows already."

The new Link smiled, but a little sadly. "Don't strain yourself for me. That's everyone, isn't it? Seven other Links and Heroes, wow. Do you think there will be more?"

"Maybe," Sky said. "I know stories about one before me in time."

"I do, too," Time added. 

"I guess we'll have to see." Legend paused. "Or not, whatever."

The new Link snorted. "All right. My turn. I guess… you can call me the Hero of Hyrule. That's a bit of a stupid name, though, isn't it?" 

Legend shook his head. "Nah. We all have stupid names. That one is Warriors."

'Hey.'

"I'm Hyrule, then. I've saved two Zeldas, so I guess that gives me two adventures. I can see a bit of dark and light, and can tell where bits of magic are, but mostly I just use this." He wiggled his staff. "I think that's it?"

"Aaaand," Twilight sighed, "right on time, there's a portal. Will we get a break?"

"Maybe once we've gathered all the Links we need to." Time took Twilight's free hand, and they formed a chain again. 

Wind took Warriors's hand, and Legend took Hyrule's at the end of the line. 

"Portals are rough," Warriors heard Legend mutter to Hyrule. "You have more magic than I do, you might get sicker than me." 

"Thanks for the warning," Hyrule whispered back. 

And with that, the group of Links, now eight strong, passed through yet another portal—

—into chaos. 

Wherever this was, it was rapidly becoming dark. Even where the sky was light, the large trees blocked it out. In the forest clearing that they emerged into, Warriors counted somewhere around a dozen monsters, ones he recognized as being from across time. Many of the Heroes had already picked up weapons to fight. 

Behind him, it seemed like Legend's warning about portals and sickness was well-founded, as Hyrule immediately pulled away to run to the side and dry heave. He didn't look very good. Legend went to help him, meeting Warriors's eyes as he did. They nodded. Despite their differences, they both had experience, and they both knew the intended plan. 

Warriors stood his ground in front of the pair, tugging out his sword in preparation. None of the monsters had come this way yet, but it was only a matter of time. 

As usual, Wind fought like a whirlwind, using his size and maneuverability to his advantage. He was used to fighting with a group, which was more than could be said for the rest of them. Although they tried, Time more successfully than the others, they didn't work together very well. Warriors wanted to shout out orders for them, but his throat hurt already, and while shouting tended to come out clearer than normal speaking, they wouldn't even know how to follow the orders. So he stayed quiet and let the train wreck happen. 

Out in the melee, one figure stood out—a kid who was somehow managing to use a sword in a wheelchair. It wasn't like any other wheelchair Warriors had ever seen, and when he caught a better glimpse of the kid, his face set into hard lines. This had to be their latest Link, with that blond hair and ferocity. And he couldn't walk. 

Still, he seemed to be doing just fine. Better than most of the others, actually. It looked like a standard sword-and-shield stance, except the shield hand had been modified to push the wheelchair wheels around. He was doing a good job adapting to the others, though they didn't adapt very well to him. 

There really weren't that many monsters, from Warriors's experience. He knew that Wind and Time, at least, were different, usually only finding monsters in packs of less than five or six. It seemed like most of the others were the same. It only took about a minute to clean up the group. 

"Thanks for the help," the new Link said slowly, looking them all over in confusion. He did not put his sword away.  "But can I ask where you're all headed? There aren't many travelers this way, especially not ones as prepared as you."

"Excuse us the rough first impression," Time said for all of them. "You're Link, aren't you?" He sheathed his large sword obviously. The others caught on and put their weapons away, too. 

Warriors followed suit, glancing behind him for a moment. Hyrule looked all right, now, and so did Legend. They stood up together. It sounded like Legend was telling Hyrule what was happening in a low mutter. Warriors nodded at them, then joined the loose circle that was forming so he could interpret for Sky again. He was finding that he didn't mind that job. 

"Who else would I be?" This wasn't working. The new Link was far more suspicious than he should be. 

Wind apparently agreed. He interrupted Time by shoving him aside. "What the old man is trying to say is, welcome, new Link! We're all Links, Heroes, from across time apparently. We don't know where we're going or what we need to do. There are so many of us and you're the latest!" 

"Heroes from across time?" the new Link repeated, visibly thinking as he looked up at all of them. "I suppose you look like it. That's a very faithful reproduction of the styles from the Skyloft era," he added, gesturing to Sky, "but why are you even here?" 

"We're not sure," Twilight said. "But I don't know if there's any doubt you're one of us. The portals have been putting us right in front of the Hero of the era. Does the Master Sword ring any bells?" He gestured, and Sky took the cue to draw the sword and hold it out, as he'd done before. It lit up softly. 

The new Link eyed the weapon. "That's the Master Sword?"

"Have you never used it?" Time asked. "I think we all have, at one point or another."

"I didn't," Hyrule piped up from behind Warriors, who turned to let him and Legend into the circle. "You mentioned it, Sky, but I didn't use it. I had other swords."

"So everyone used the Master Sword except for him and me?" The new Link sat back at their nods and shrugs, crossing his arms. "Hey, kid who didn't use it, either, what did you use instead?"

Warriors raised a silent eyebrow. Kid? New Link was too small to be more than ten or twelve, although he did act more mature. 

Hyrule stood up a little straighter. "My nickname now is Hyrule, I guess, because I'm the Hero of Hyrule. The best sword I ever had is the Magic Sword." He pulled out the ruby-and-silver creation Warriors had noted earlier, and kept it pointing carefully up. 

The new Link pushed himself forward a bit to look closer. "Wow. That's very intricate. The enchantments are surely nothing to scoff at."

"They're not," Hyrule said cheerfully, and Warriors almost shuddered. "What sword did you use on your adventure?"

"Adventures, plural. I had two. This is the Four Sword." He set it across his lap, and the golden hilt only highlighted the differences between it and the Master Sword still held by Sky. 

That made both Time and Twilight perk up, just a little. 

The new Link glanced over at them. "You've heard of it?"

"Only in stories," Time told him. "There's only one known wielder of the Four Sword, at least in my time."

Twilight nodded. "Mine, too. You're the Hero of Men, aren't you?" 

"Yes. You have stories? Weird. But if you're all choosing nicknames based on titles, please don't make mine Men."

'What nickname do you want, then? You have one chance,' Warriors said with a small smile. 

The new Link matched the smile, but his brows lowered. "I don't know sign language very well, I just began… teaching myself recently. How far apart are we in time? Do the signs really translate?"

Warriors shrugged. He didn't know. 

"Either it's magic," Legend said, "or languages are ridiculously stable, unlike literally everything else. He asked what nickname you do want. You believe us about the time traveling, then?"

"It isn't the weirdest thing to have happened to me," the new Link said dryly, to understanding laughs and nods all around. "So sure. What are all of your nicknames, first?"

Due to the lopsided circle they stood in, everyone keeping watch over everyone's shoulders, they just introduced themselves in order—Time, Twilight, Wild still with some hesitation, Sky made sure to mention his deafness again, Wind said he lost his leg to a chu attack, Legend, Hyrule again, and Warriors, who got a translation from Sky. 

When the metaphorical torch passed to him, the new Link put his Four Sword away, twisting over the back of the wheelchair. He turned back around. "On occasion, I've been called the Hero of the Four Sword, and that's probably the best of them. So I'll be Four."

"A number?" Wind asked incredulously. 

"It's not like it's stranger than being called Time. Or Hyrule."

"You have a point."

"A new portal should be showing up about now," Time said, looking around. "They've been quick about it."

Everyone waited a few seconds, but no portal appeared. 

"Are we done, then?" Sky asked. 

Legend sighed and rubbed at his forehead. "There are nine of us, oh Din. How is that even going to work?"

'We need to figure out how to work together,' Warriors signed, with Sky echoing again. 'That fight just now was a mess.'

"Was it?" Twilight asked, genuinely confused. 

"Teamwork is hard, but it's necessary," new Four told them seriously. "It's getting dark, though. Maybe we should find a place to set up camp."

Wild agreed. "This seems like a good spot. I can make the fire. And something to eat."

"Let's assume we're staying here for the time being, then," Time said, his voice carrying authority that Warriors knew hadn't been there however many years ago. 

He smiled as Time gave out a few directions, getting people moving and setting things up. Nobody was quite comfortable with each other yet, though Warriors could see a few friendships forming already.

Wild pulled firewood and kindling out of nowhere, then a pot and food out of the same place. Twilight helped him chop up some vegetables, managing perfectly well with only the one hand, though he did things a little differently. 

Legend and Hyrule took a lap around the clearing's perimeter, talking quietly. Although Warriors had worried somewhat about Hyrule's ability to get around, he was fine, sweeping his staff in front of him to feel out where rocks and trees were. At some point, he climbed a tree, picked off a bunch of leaves, and dropped back down to run his fingers over them. 

Wind and Sky, at Time's direction, pulled over a few dead logs to use as seating. Wind went on about a giant octoroc, signing only most of the story. Sky looked lost, but amused nonetheless, and managed to ask a few half-relevant questions that sent Wind careening down into other rabbit holes. 

"Captain," Time called from across camp, and Warriors turned right around. "Watches?"

Ah, good plan. Warriors nodded and dug in his bag for a notebook and a stub of pencil to do some familiar math. He sat down on one of the settled logs by the fire and began. 

He was very glad Time took charge, actually. Time was very different from Warriors's memories of the bratty kid he had been, and though they were virtual strangers now, Warriors could still see Time's good heart. If he was being entirely honest, Warriors was a bit intimidated by this group. A few of them were kids, but they had an edge that screamed survival. Legend was young, too, but clearly wanted to do things his way. Twilight was independent, too, and Warriors wouldn't soon forget the way that Sky had attacked him on their first meeting. He'd only known most of them for an hour or two, at most. They didn't know him, they weren't soldiers. So while Warriors knew a lot about how to run a group, and how to deal with the logistics, he didn't know how to organize this group. He mentally thanked Time for taking the initiative. 

Once bedrolls were arranged awkwardly around the fire, and once the smell of cooking food began to fill the air, the atmosphere relaxed. Hyrule sat by a log, weaving together the leaves into a pattern that looked just as interesting as it probably felt. He spoke with Twilight, who'd been banished from the cooking once it started to simmer. Wild wouldn't leave it alone, though, and answered Wind's questions about it with surprising patience. Legend criticized Warriors's watch plans, which was especially annoying because most of what he said was right, and they both knew it. Four got right into learning a few more signs from Sky, both of them sitting on blankets near the fire. 

"Um, everyone?" Wild said, standing in the middle. He held a wooden spoon in his hand and seemed a bit nervous when all the attention moved to him. "I like food. I mean, I'd like it if you all liked the food, too. If you don't like something or are allergic to whatever, let me know, or I will find out another way. Um, anyway, all that to say, food! It's here! I don't have a lot of dishes, though…"

With a snort, Twilight got up to help him distribute the skewers and cups of rice. Warriors was pleasantly surprised by how good it smelled and tasted. 

"Okay," Wind began once dinner was well underway. "So, the true story of how I lost my leg. It was a dark and stormy night…"

#my writing #linked universe #disability au #hmmmm #yeah i'll tag the boys #in order of appearance #lu warriors #lu time #lu twilight #lu sky #lu wind #lu legend #lu wild #lu hyrule #lu four #fics #i will repeat: #low-effort

[goodusernamepending]

I’m really digging Malevolent so far, here are my reactions to the first 5 episodes.

Warning: it's super long and dumb

E1

“~And you call it madness ~ Ah but I call it love~” a bop

Off to a great start, our head’s haunted and our eyes have stopped working. Also the voice in our head started growling when we picked that book up. This is some demonic possession shit

The voice started out so soft and friendly like ‘hey buddy, I’m your friend. Just calm down’ and then it immediately gets pissed when Arthur start asking questions

“I have your eyes” disconcerting

And we murdered our partner… this is a great start to the podcast

Several shenanigans including hiding a dead body and almost killing a guy later

We learn that the thing in our head was sent to Arthur via book, it’s possessing our eyes so we’re dependent on it. There are other worlds caused by the choices each world makes and when a being or world dies it is sent to The Dark World where our creepy new friend is from. A junkyard for realities.

We also learn that it’s 1934 and that Arthur lives in Arkham ma. The same town Lovecraft wrote about….

Catchy little tune from the opening again except… the voice recognizes it and Arthur doesn’t… I’m going to remember that for later

Obligatory: someone else (wearing a white mask the voice recognizes) is after the cursed artifact that we’re in possession of and almost shoots us

Voice reveals that they don’t remember who they are before getting very angry at Arthur for basically trying to be a good detective even though he’s blind now. *Growl*

Oh and the previous tenant of our office left town in a hurry… great!

Oh creepy mask guy knows where we live… GREAT!

The last detective who worked in our office that we got our cases from had a partner who died horrifically… GREAT!!!

And I’m so happy to know that our dead partner Peter (RIP) felt like he was being watched in this creepy house when they were trying to find that dead girl

But at least the voice is nice enough to tell us it’s a sunny day, right?

Nah, he’s suspicious, why did he get so angry when Arthur mentioned not asking more questions about the dismembered dead girl. Why is this important to them?

Hidden bookshelf door!!! 10/10 podcast!!!!

That mural… a mass of black tentacles, wet mouths and writhing goats legs…I kinda want to draw it now

And if there was any doubt in my mind that this was going to be some Lovecraft shit, Arthur name drops The Miskatonic University

What are you, voice? How do you know the mural’s name?

“Arthur, I am not this creature” oh but you’re totally a completely different eldritch horror, aren’t you?

A second more secret, more evil basement

Oh… very bad things are going to happen to us

E2

I agree with Arthur, you got a cult! What are you!

You saying “I have your eyes still” like it’s a threat doesn’t instill confidence!

This conversation with the librarian makes me realize that if this were one of the older cosmic horror short stories, Arthur would be the weird stranger someone meets that kicks off the plot. You meet this guy that walks as if he can’t see but his eyes are clearly assessing everything around him. He leaves long pauses when he talks as if he’s listening for something and once he slips up and calls himself we while asking to see a cursed book on an old god because he’s researching a cult. Our boy is a weird dude and I wouldn’t be surprised if he gets chased by monster hunters in the future.

congrats, you've upgraded to homicide

Wait. waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait! "I can't feel my arm!" "No, but I can" Body Snatcher!

I have a very bad feeling about this new development and Arthur agrees but at least Voice doesn't seem to actually want our body. can't tell whether or not this is foreshadowing.

God I love the conversations that these two have about their situation and the possibility of them switching places. And who tf are you voice?

dice again? why?

out of everything, Accidental child acquisition was not something I was expecting

Are we being chased by goats right now?

That song again! and something terrible happens immediately after

I swear to god if this child is the antichrist I will eat aquarium gravel

E3

"Where's the car?" "All over the place" "And the driver?" "All over the place as well" add vehicular manslaughter to our list of crimes

with the creepy mansion this feels like a ttrpg side quest

Arthur speaks so softly about the baby

dice sounds again? maybe this is a ttrpg. Is it a meta thing and the writers are choosing story beats with them or is it part of the story?

I think this show solved the problem of visual descriptions in podcasts.

Normally a writer has three choices for this 1: make the characters describe their surroundings and appearances of other people which can sound a bit stilted and out of place since sighted people don't do that, 2: choose not to describe anything or anyone unless you have to which feels more real but sometimes means the audience has no idea what's going on, or 3: have the audio show told in something other than first person or present tense (It's a radio show, series of letters, phone calls, there's an omnipotent narrator, ect...)

But with a blind main character and a secondary character guiding them, there's an in-universe reason to describe the scene to us. we can see just as much as Arthur can so the voice is our eyes as well. It's brilliant!

maybe that's why I feel the need to use the word we while talking about this podcast, I feel like I'm inside Arthur's head.

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

one of the missing girls was an unnamed immigrant, was this polish family related to her?

This is some spooky ghost shit that I can appreciate

I feel like the choice to free or destroy will have ramifications for Arthur down the line

"I have to hope that any creature can be redeemed" Damn! careful, your insecurities are showing (luv this)

E4

Arthur is very sweet with the baby

probably not a good idea to bring a baby on our horror road trip anyway

Aww <3 he described the baby for Arthur, this is so sweet

This is too relatable. If I accidentally asked for a ride from the wrong truck and the driver said yes I would also get in anyway just to avoid being rude.

I feel like every new episode is just a different horror movie, this one feels like a hitchhiker slasher flick

Maybe the weird gas mask guy is nice actually? Maybe I'm just being too judgemental.

nope he's going to kill us

it's like a bad joke 'Two men who hear voices are on a road trip together'

there are four known fear responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn. Arthur is a fawner, in times of danger he will become so polite that he will follow the serial killer into the creepy basement

first dice and now a coin flip I really hope this series has a Q&A

can he... hear us? is it something about sanity that brings you closer to these monsters? Oops never mind

"We need to get the fuck out of this basement now!" really Arthur? NOW YOUR CONCERNED!

Another Missing girl!

"Arthur, tell that voice in your head that my mother was not a whore" Literal chills

Arthur has been stabbed and Oh the tension is palatable!

Pros to bringing the severed head: We might get some answers. Cons to bringing the severed head: It's a rotting severed head.

Every time violence happens the voice gets very excited by the prospect of murder

Calamity follows these two wherever they go

Well Arthur is dead, that's the end of the podcast

"This too shall pass"

E5

Oh god not another voice. Fuck are we in jail!

Adam Fry

An asylum, if MoonKnight taught me anything it's that this is neither real nor harmless

the door feels oddly shaped... please don't be flesh

Oh that is not a human

"Wait did I tell you my name?" Oh god something was in our head and we just told it exactly where to go and who to find!

"We've been in a coma for over a month" I'm so excited to see how things can possibly get worse than this over the course of the podcast

At least our voice has a name now. Hello John, it's nice to meet you

That song again

Oh no... we're too late...so what killed her

Wait... I actually had to go back to listen to our confrontation with Eddie. Arthur did shoot him but I'm pretty damn sure that John strangling him is what finished the job... what game are you playing here, John?

Between the monster library book, Arthur dreaming of that otherworldly asylum, and these new visions I think that he might be slowly un-tethering from reality. Using these visions is tempting but I think John's right about this changing us. Let's see what the dead girl has to say

fingers

oh it's never good when the creature can see you through your visions

"It felt like he tricked us" "He wanted us to touch her" I am having all the bad feelings

"He can't come through"

"No"

"But?"

"But maybe other things can"

Not much to say about this next part there's a monster chasing our boys and I'm terrified. Good job podcast.

"It looks like foulness"

Ah yes when in doubt pull a Hansel and Gretel

John knows Robert Frost

Dice whenever we find something

We're being hunted, something has seen us, our lead is dead, and we need to find her diary to get some answers lets fucking go!

So far I am LIVING for everything going on here definitely going to keep listening

#malevolent #malevolent podcast #I was basically taking notes while listening #malevolent season 1 #malevolent s1