#he’s not plain nasty like valentino | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gabrielsbubblegumbitch · 2 months

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got any silly voxval headcannons? (Maybe velvette too idk)

like for example who cooks out of the three of them

Of course you can <3 I'm a really angsty girlie so I don't know how silly they actually are but there you go:

None of them can cook, but that's not really a problem for Vox and Velvette. Vox could survive on plain bread and black coffee for eternity, while Velvette could eat only candies. Val, on the other hand, is the ultimate hedonist. He's all about the tasty, full-fat fast food or gourmet stuff, and he's always pushing for takeout. Come on, guys, we're fucking rich, let's order something. Sure, they could hire someone to cook for them, but Vox is too paranoid to let an outsider near their food. He's still on the hunt for a chef who can match Val's extravagant tastes and is willing to sign off soul. If they had to pick someone to cook, Vox would probably be the best bet since he's the only one who can actually follow a recipe.

Velvette is the smartest when it comes to managing finances. Vox technically doesn't like to waste money but he has a taste for luxurious stuff, he can't resist an expensive car, fucking show-off. Valentino basically burns money on every useless shit he likes, I bet those crystals he badazzled his gun with were real diamons.

Velvette helps Val maintain his fluff, and he styles her hair. It's a cute little trade-off they've got going on.

Valentino has a habit of breaking electronic devices and downloading malware. Vox hates him for it.

Vox can easily go 72h without sleep, fueled by coke and rage. Valentino occasionally drugs his coffee to put him down to sleep, because after 68th hour all electronics in the tower starts malfunctioning.

Val used to be a full-time performer, but now he's more like a RuPaul—lending his face to the brand and only occasionally gracing the stage. But every time he does perform, Vox makes sure to be there front and center.

Their schedules are very incompatible and they have to spend a lot of time managing their businesses but they have weekly appointments to do catch up and discuss strategy. Those are usually very unserious, they end up hitting the bong and playing Mario Cart.

There was this one time Vox tried hitting on Velvette because she's totally his type. It was awkward as hell, and they both agreed to never speak of it again. Valentino has no idea about it.

Valentino would really want to have a dog but Vox really likes dogs so he doesn't allow him to get one by imposing strict anti-pet policy in the tower.

Val knows all of Vox's and Velvette's kinks and sometimes produces custom porn for them as gifts.

As much as they love spending time together, Val and Velvette can't stand watching TV with Vox because he gets overly emotional and doesn't allow to skip commercials because he enjoys them

Vox occasionally invites Val to be a guest judge on reality shows, which always skyrockets ratings but sometimes ends nasty for the contestants.

Val's obsessed with textures, especially nice fabrics. Give him a nice fluffy blanket and he will shut up for 15 minutes fixated on touching it.

Vox, with his business and strategic management degree, sometimes tries to pitch these ideas to Velvette and Valentino, he's like Guys, have you considered using the BCG matrix? Ever heard of SWOT analysis? We should discuss KPIs. They mock him relentlessly for it.

Val once tried putting drag makeup on Vox's face, and let's just say the result was... less than glamorous.

During their honeymoon phase, Vox and Val fucked everywhere. At first, Velvette found it amusing, but eventually, she grew to hate it. She finally snapped when she found out they'd fucked on the dinner table and she set it on fire.

Val "secretly" ghostwrote some trashy smut novels (they are absolutely horrible, worst Wattpad shit you could dig out). Vox secretly bought and read every single one, finding plenty of references to himself along the way.

Vox loves it when Val wears stripper platforms, even though it makes their height difference even more ridiculous.

Valentino's wardrobe takes two entire rooms and still expands. Vox doesn't know how to stop it.

Vox owns a few lingerie sets, only because Val loses his fucking mind whenever he wears them. Velvette designed them herself and keeps photos of Vox wearing them as blackmail material, just in case.

#hazbin hotel #vox #valentino #voxval #ask #staticmoth #velvette #vox hazbin #hazbin hotel valentino #headcanon #velvette hazbin #the vees

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darkwolf989 · 9 days

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Hiya! If you still have requests open can I get a Velvette x reader one shot, angst to comfort.

Reader having had enough of her attitude and lack of care/effort so they decide to end the relationship and leave. She starts off fine like nothing is wrong and they'll come crawling back, but she starts to notice not having someone supportive around and ends up missing them. See if she can win them back.

Hi there!

I wasn't QUITE sure where to go with this one, but I decided to stick with platonic reader x Velvette. If you were looking for something different, please let me know! For now- enjoy the story!

She honestly didn’t think she would miss her.

Velvette couldn’t be sure when she first noticed her presence- or more specifically, her lack thereof. Nor could she pinpoint the exact moment that reader became a presence in her studio.

It started off small. A shy little thing that turned bright red when asked to change outfits in front of others. Someone whose hair had never been trimmed, let alone styled. Who, unlike all the other highly acclaimed models that sauntered in and out as if they owned the place, barely made her presence known.

Hard to believe this overly modest creature was the alleged future princess of hell.

When she first arrived, the big man himself visited the three of them- he offered both money and threats to keep reader happy, but more importantly, to keep her safe. It wasn’t a stretch to believe that the Vee empire was the safest place in all of hell. And between Voxtech, Valentino’s sex dungeon and her studio, the obvious safest place within for her to be was with Velvette.

What a pain, she had thought, when she first met reader. Even for an angel she was plain- her only real defining feature was the blonde hair- unheard of in hell- and those baby blue eyes. The rest of it?

Really not much to work with.

But not impossible. And with reader being who she was, Velvette couldn’t exactly turn down the opportunity. Reader was lucky to be here, to be fixed at her hands. Slowly, painfully, she transformed reader into something beautiful- a face and body worthy of the future princess of hell.

Velvette wasn’t one to coax, and she certainly didn’t tolerate complaining. The fashion industry was cutthroat, after all. Something reader didn’t seem to understand.

It was more so her attitude than her looks that made her one of Velevttes hardest cases. Modesty was the core of her beliefs, and it took a good six months before she would allow herself to be photographed in anything less than long sleeves and pants. And almost a year before she could dress her with skin showing just to walk into Vox’s office, or out to Valentino’s clubs.

She supposed she had Valentino to thank for some of her relenting. After all, he was doing her- practically unheard of for an angel, but true nonetheless.

Not that that changed the fact that at the core, reader was stubborn, outright defiant, and outspoken in a way that reminded Velvette of herself. But unlike Velvette, she bent more easily than she broke, and Velvette would finally have her way, come hell or high water.

Until she didn’t.

“I’m not being photographed in that,” reader snapped as she tossed the skirt and top aside. “What will the citizens of hell say?”

“That you have style? Oh come on reader, enough of this modesty shit you have going on. Show some skin.” Velvette snapped back. It had already been a long day- and the last thing she needed was this refusal.

“No. You need to respect my boundaries, Vel.”

Velvette swore she saw red. Boundaries? If she maintained her boundaries she would have never looked as good as she she currently did. It was Velvette’s encouragement, Velvette’s hand that created her beauty. Reader owed her.

“I made you,” Velvette’s words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. But it felt good, with each statement she spewed the rage and frustration she had been biting back all day. “I took you from ugly little, scrawny thing, hid those nasty scars and fixed your features in a way only I can do. The very least you can do is shut the fuck up and show it off.”

The look on readers face showed she had pushed her too far. Instantly, Velvette felt a tinge of regret. Wordlessly, reader stepped off the stage and walked towards the hallway, slamming the door behind her.

She dared walk out on her for telling the truth? Fuck her too, Velvette thought. She didn’t need her. She didn’t need anyone. Not now, not ever.

Velvette busied herself in her work. After all, even without reader she had a magazine to put together. One that wouldn’t wait for anyone, not even her.

“Vel, what happened?” Valentino’s voice came from behind as she scrambled to stitch the last bit onto what was supposed to be reader’s outfit. With each move of the needle her anger grew- she even made sure to accommodate her curves, and reader couldn’t even be bothered to wear them.

“I got sick of her shit, that’s all.” The words were out of Velvette’s mouth before she could stop them. “She’s an overdramatic, crybaby bitch.”

“You don’t mean that,” Valentino responded easily. He blew a puff of his signature red smoke and looked around the studio. “You know she grew up in a different world than which we live, amicico.”

“She’s been here long enough. And besides, she’s not welcome down here anymore. Princess can go to hell for all I care.” Velvette snapped back.

Valentino shrugged and turned away. “Moot to point out that she’s already here. Your choice, I suppose.”

Velvette glared as he sauntered away, probably to go comfort the little cunt. She turned her attention back to her work. Fuck her, and fuck him too.

Disaster after disaster delayed her the rest of the shoot. It was well after ten by the time Velvette trudged into her bedroom and kicked off her stilettos. She threw herself into her bed, and tossed and turned as she went through the events of the day, her mind unwilling to shut off. Why was she so upset by this? It made her life easier, honestly, not having to tailor everything to fit her weird size, or mix foundation to match her pale ass complexion. So why was she so bothered by it?

Her bad mood followed her through the next day, and the day after that. Slowly, her anger began to fade as she realized just what a clusterfuck this entire thing was. Gone were dinners together, the four of them. Gone were late night talks, and the pacts to stick to each other. Hell, gone was her bathroom buddy- girls never did, go alone.

Without a clue on how to handle things, Velvette made it a point to stay late each night, simply so she didn’t have to face reader.

“You could just apologize, you know.” Vox suggested when Velvette approached him. “Even for you, that was pretty nasty. And it’s not like you pay her- she’s your friend.”

The word pinged Velvette’s heart. A friend. Flashes of them giggling together over silly jokes, of commenting on the boy’s hobbies and habits that only they were privy to. Of collapsing on each other's beds to complain about the boys in a way only girls could.

As she stood in the studio later that night, she realized just what had gone that week. It was the smiles, the inside jokes that she and reader shared that made her job bearable in a way it had never been before, and certainly wasn’t now.

But apologizing was never her strong suite. She wasn’t even sure where to begin.

“At the beginning,” Vox had suggested. “Just start with sorry, that’s your foot in the door.” He had shrugged. “One simple sorry. And go from there. You’ll be fine.”

Locking her office door behind her earlier than she had all week, Velvette took a deep breath. The ride to the top floor was agonizingly long, and right up until her fist hesitated outside of readers bedroom door, she worried.

What if she ignores me?

What if she doesn’t accept my apologies?

What if she doesn’t want to come back to my studio?

Or worse, what if she didn’t want to be her friend anymore?

The thought sent a sickening feeling through her body. Only one way to find out, she supposed. After all, it couldn’t get any worse, right?

“Hey, Vel.” Reader said softly when she answered the knock. She didn’t meet Velvette’s eyes. “What’s up?”

“What’s up? I fucked up. And I’m sorry.” Velevtte rushed the words out. “I was mean, actually, really mean and I pushed your boundaries and I’m sorry. I suck at apologizing but I mean it, I’m sorry, I-“

“Vel, it’s alright,” reader answered. She wrapped Velvette in a hug. “I’ve missed you.”

Velvette froze. She wasn’t used to being embraced, and she certainly didn’t expect her to accept her apology that fast.

“I missed you too. You make living with those two, doing this job, doing this life, more tolerable.” She admitted as she embraced reader. “Come back tomorrow, usual time? I promise I won’t…push your boundaries again. At least, not like that.”

She gave her a wink, “deal.” She leaned back and took Velvette’s hand. “Now come on! I have to tell you what Val did this morning, my god men are weird…”

As reader broke into an excited chatter, two thoughts crossed Velvette’s mind.

It was good to have her back.

It was even better to have a friend.

#the vees #hazbin fluff #hazbin hotel #the vees x reader #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbin x reader #hazbin velvette #velvette x reader

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faerune · 3 years

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personality for Vera! (either all or whichever you feel like answering, don't want to overwhelm you!) :D

thank you so much ryley you’re the best 🧡 also asked by @solasan who is a bitch and needs to get out of my ask box (jk mol ilu)

alignment Chaotic neutral! Veers toward chaotic good most often much to some teasing from Judy who told her she expected Vera to be this big mean merc and how wrong she was.

MBTI Originally, I thought she was an ESFP but I think ESTP fits her far better — bold, original, direct, sociable, impatient, risk-prone, defiant.

tarot card The Sun — warmth, positivity, vitality, success, overly optimistic - for her life up until the end of Act 1.

And then the Wheel of Fortune — destiny, a turning point, breaking cycles, resistance to change, good or bad luck, karma - for everything after!

zodiac Baby’s a Leo!

enneagram The Enthusiast — spontaneous, distractible, versatile, scattered

element Fire is absolutely her element and also matches her being a Leo!

color(s) you associate with them Bright orange, neon pink, the color of a sunset where it’s pastel pink, purple, orange and yellow, black.

theme song sushi for breakfast by BAYLI has been my Vera jam for a week now.

five positive traits

charismatic

confident

bold

loyal

clever

five negative traits

materialistic

stubborn

calloused

impulsive

tunnel-visioned

what heavenly virtue would you assign them? Diligence!

what deadly sin would you assign them? Greed or Pride!

what is their biggest fear? Poor thing just wants to matter. To be important. She saw so much death and anonymity of it that it terrified her. Kid in Heywood die early, get fucked up young, fall into debt with the big sharks of the city or sell their souls to a corp. She doesn’t want to end up like everybody else.

Vera ultimately fears dying a nobody, just some Jane Doe in the morgue whose ashes they scatter into the Pacific without a thought. Mostly, because it confirms that nasty, heavy, sharp voice in her head that has told her since she was a child (one that sounds suspiciously paternal) — Night City doesn’t give a shit about you. Nobody gives a shit about you. That she has a choice of dying in the gutter or dying in a blaze of glory.

what is their biggest weakness? Prior to the game, she’s a little...too trustful of people from Heywood and those she admires. It’s why she gets involved with Dex because she’s so excited and starstruck that she doesn’t stop and think to consider the potential he’d fuck them over.

Other than that, she’s too impulsive and stubborn like I said in another ask. Bitch can’t sit still and think something through for 2 seconds because she’s so far up her own ass with “Well, something bad happened to [x] but I’m smarter and can handle this.”

do they care about their appearance? do they like it? Vera cares about her appearance a lot! The Valentinos strike me as a gang that really cares about their appearance (the aesthetic...chef kiss) and growing up in Heywood they were and influential part of what Vera wanted to grow up to be. She learned early that the way you present yourself affects the way people treat you and most important to her — how much attention they give you and make you remembered.

She really likes her appearance and puts time into it! Even clothes she wears to jobs - usually a jacket, a plain black croptop and highwaisted jeans - is carefully considered. Vera puts on a front in all aspects and fashion is of course no exception.

Also, if anyone fucked up her nails they are dead. Because she pays good money for those every two weeks. It’s kind of goofy but when she wakes up from being shot, her nails are all broken off and jagged and raw and because appearance is such an important thing to her it’s like...a thing she focuses all her upset on? Like she was dehumanized and dropped off in a dump just like she always feared she would be as a nobody Heywood kid.

are they confident in their abilities? Yes! Too confident that it often borders dangerously cocky but she does have the skills to back all her talk up. People aren’t afraid of facing her in a shooting competition for nothing. Or rather people aren’t afraid of her in general for nothing. Her papa crafted her to survive those streets and that’s about the only good thing he gave her.

what is their opinion on cybernetics? Vera thinks it’s normal and that it’s weird when someone is completely ‘ganic. She sees it as leveling the playing field or rather playing at the level everyone else is at with implants since Heywood is chock full of them with the Valentinos about. Vera takes whatever advantage she can get!

Cyberpsychos and Maelstrom admittedly...scare her shitless because it’s another thing she has to watch out for both them physically and the possibility of that happening to herself.

do they have a good sense of humor? I’d say so! It’s a little dark at times (not as dark as say Johnny’s but she grew up around some real fucked up stuff that became normalized) but she’s a master of knowing how to tune it to the people she’s around. Little manipulator (even though she doesn’t see it that way).

how do they laugh? Fairly loud and very cute! She’s got a great smile and it’s admittedly easy to make her laugh if you know what gets her. It’s infectious and disarming - admittedly, she’s good at faking laughing too and uses it to her advantage because she knows that. That laugh is just a little bit more toned back and controlled - anyone who heard her real belly-laugh where she’s got tears in her eyes would be able to spot it.

do they smoke? Vera started up pretty young, maybe around 13, but she’d quit just after her mother’s funeral (~22 years old) and was in the years she was in Atlanta. Until Johnny’s engram rubbed off on her and she gave in and started smoking. She was under a lot of stress and the pressure caused her to pick it back up.

do they drink? Yeah! It’s pretty much the only vice she starts with at the start of the game. Vera grew up around in Heywood too. Deals were done over drinks and when she was a teenager everyone would sneak whatever they could from their own houses and they’d head up onto one of the roofs. Just drink and shoot the shit while the sun set. She loves going out and clubbing. It’s kind of just part of the culture. Vera only really starts drinking “by herself” during the game.

what kind of drunk are they? Fun loving drunk! Very flirty, loves to dance, the life of the party. It’s like Vera dialed up to 11. Her general habit of making bad decisions becomes very prominent when she’s drunk because the very reasoning and her cleverness flies out the window.

do they take any drugs? Noooo. Definitely not. She stays away from anything except w*ed on the rare occasion. Her mother struggled her whole life with addiction and Vera does not want to repeat her mistakes.

#elmshore #solasan #PHEW this is long under the cut fair warning #oc: vera

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littlebadger · 4 years

Text

MEET THE MUSE !

LEGAL NAME: Daniel James Fenton

NICKNAME[S]: Danny, Danny Phantom, Ghost Boy, Welp, Ghost Kid, ‘ The Halfa ’, Punk, Phantom, Danny-Boy, Fenton, Pup, Ghost Child, Dipstick, Dan, etc.

DATE OF BIRTH: October 2nd.

AGE: Verse depending. Canon age is 14 and Dark!Danny is 24.

GENDER: Cis male.

SPECIES: Half Human / Half Ghost

PLACE OF BIRTH: Amity Park, Illinois.

CURRENT LIVING CONDITIONS: Verse depending. In canon, FentonWorks building in upstate Illinois with his parents and older sister Jazz. The house contains a lab with a Ghost Zone portal in the basement and an Operational Center sitting in plain view atop the roof.

SPOKEN LANGUAGES: English, some Esperanto, and ‘ Ghost Speak ’.

EDUCATION: High School + Summer Space Program(s) + university; verse dependent.

OCCUPATION: ( verse depending ) Student, Superhero, Astronaut + hero / MCU verse

CRIMINAL RECORD: Never captured; Under hypnosis/mind control: theft, fending off police officers, breaking and entering (robbing stores), kidnapping the mayor. During ghost battles: property damage, evading the law/government.

DRINK | SMOKE | DRUGS

LIKE[S]: NASA and space, puppies and doggos, his friends, protecting his loved ones, video games , horror movies, comic books, hanging out, being lazy, getting good grades, doodling, using his powers, getting “even”, being a smartass/sarcastic, pleasing people, feeling normal, cute girls, milkshakes, junk food, The Nasty Burger, puns, rock music, Dumpty Humpty (his favorite rock band), not fighting ghosts.

DISLIKE[S]: Bullies (*coughs*Dash*coughs*), ghosts he has to capture/fight, studying, being interrupted, getting bad grades/failing/making up work, chores, feeling ‘freakish’ or abnormal/not human, being called a ‘loser’, being embarrassed, being hunted, boy bands, his enemies, animal abuse.

FEAR[S]: Failing, losing his friends and loved ones, becoming evil, being captured and experimented on, his parents not accepting his ghost half and wanting to dissect him, xenophobia.

PERSONALITY TRAITS: brave, alert, altruistic, noble, daring, compassionate, determined, intelligent, loyal, trustworthy, shy, selfless, friendly, sarcastic, stubborn, witty, humble, modest, reckless, impulsive, genuine, intuitive, jealous, immature, dutiful, empathetic, smart ass, messy, private, lazy, observant, irritable, persuasive, protective, self-critical, skillful, aggressive, emotional, moralistic, skeptical, careless, clumsy, childish, forgetful, gullible, strong-willed.

{ P H Y S I C A L I N F O R M A T I O N }

HAIR COLOR: Jet black ( human ), snow white ( ghost )

EYE COLOR: Sky blue ( human ), neon/glowing green ( ghost)

H/W: 5′4″ / 120 lb. ( verse dependent on age )

TATTOOS: None.

{ F A M I L Y I N F O R M A T I O N }

SIBLING[S]: Jasmine “Jazz” Fenton; older sister.

PARENT[S]: Maddie & Jack Fenton.

CHILDREN: None ( verse dependent ).

PET[S]: None ( verse dependent ).

{ R E L A T I O N S H I P I N F O R M A T I O N }

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual & Biromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single. [ verse depending ]

TOP OR BOTTOM: switch ! ( 18+ verses ONLY )

tagged by: @manaborn tagging: @multifandomrphub - EMBER @angcldusts @darklydescended - PIETRO @lunarfazing - VALENTINO @hellsbest @nemekii - SIMBA & whoever wants to !!

#muse ;;#headcanons ;;#headcanon ;;#about ;;#fenton/phantom ;;#pics ;;#info ;;#family ;;#verses ;;#multi verses ;;#multi verse ;;

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eddiejpoplar · 6 years

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The Legend of Valentino Rossi is Still Going Strong at 39

Who is the greatest racer of all time? It’s an unwinnable argument that inevitably includes superstars such as Mario Andretti, Tazio Nuvolari, A.J. Foyt, Juan Manuel Fangio, Richard Petty, Ayrton Senna, Sébastien Loeb, and Michael Schumacher, to name just a few. But perhaps the real king is a man known best for his exploits on two wheels rather than four, a motorcycle racer named Valentino Rossi.

At 39, the Italian maestro is still fighting for the MotoGP World Championship, rubbing elbows with rivals at 220 mph. He has also won car rallies, competed in the World Rally Championship, and, perhaps most staggering of all, turned down a Ferrari Formula 1 drive.

It’s a fact lost often to the passage of time, but a dozen years ago Maranello courted Rossi to join Schumacher, who was nearing the end of his reign in the world’s most glamorous racing team. Rossi was approaching his 30th birthday and had been competing on motorcycles since he was 16, so it seemed only natural he might be ready for a new challenge. Both Ferrari president Luca di Montezemolo and F1 mogul Bernie Ecclestone wanted him in F1 because his rock ‘n’ roll swagger would be a huge boost for the series.

Rossi duly agreed to test for Ferrari, committing himself to a serious program expected to take him full-time into F1 in 2007 or 2008. From 2004 to 2006, he completed more than half a dozen tests with the Scuderia in between his MotoGP duties.

F1 cars are not easy machines to master. They are hugely complicated, a bit like a four-wheeled NASA rocket. At Ferrari’s Fiorano test track in April 2004, Rossi switched from a 240-horsepower Yamaha MotoGP bike, which rode around corners using only mechanical grip via two tiny tire contact patches, to a 950-hp Ferrari F2003 that rocketed around corners via four mammoth slicks and mind-boggling downforce. The change didn’t seem to bother him. To Rossi the game was just the same: an engine, some rubber, a racetrack, and a timing board.

Schumacher was present during that first test, when the Italian was so unprepared that he had to borrow the German’s F1 helmet. When Rossi returned to the pits after his first few runs, the most successful driver in F1 history could hardly believe what he saw when he checked the telemetry. He was stunned, even incredulous.

Rossi’s pace in that debut outing should have been impossible for a rookie who spent his life racing motorbikes, but the man has an almost supernatural affinity for anything involving petroleum explosions, burning rubber, and dancing on the giddy limit. Or as Rossi’s own hero Steve McQueen put it, “twisting the tiger’s tale.”

F1 car, rally car, MotoGP bike—Rossi can make them all sing. And no one else has ever done that, apart from the late John Surtees, the only man to win world championships on two wheels and four. But who else has turned down the chance to drive for racing’s most hallowed name? Rossi recalls the moment he made the decision to spurn Ferrari and four wheels.

“It was on the plane going home from a test at Valencia [in Spain],” he says. “I went there to understand my potential against the other guys. I understood that with a lot of work I had the potential to go fast. But on the plane, I decided: bikes. The main reason was that I was not ready to stop racing bikes. This was the biggest problem.”

Rossi has won seven MotoGP world championships, the most recent in 2009—a long time ago, but he finished second in the championship in three of the past four seasons. This year he sits third in the standings with four races remaining on the schedule. He holds the series’ all-time record for race wins, with 89. He took his first grand prix victory in the junior 125cc category in August 1996, and his most recent success came in the 1000cc MotoGP category in June 2017.

That’s a winning career that spans almost 21 years, a long way beyond Schumacher’s F1 record of 14 years between his first and last victories, especially considering the enhanced risks of MotoGP racing. Bikes have a habit of chewing up and spitting out even the greatest of exponents; riders have no carbon-fiber safety cell, just a leather suit and a helmet.

Rossi is a busy man during the season, contesting 19 MotoGP rounds, from Texas to Argentina to Malaysia to Australia and throughout Europe, as well as testing commitments and public relations duties. His opportunity to race cars is therefore limited to a month or two each winter. His has a soft spot for Italy’s Monza rally, which he has won a record six times. Last December he beat two professional car racers into second and third: factory Hyundai rally driver Andreas Mikkelsen and Audi LMP1 driver Marco Bonanomi. It sounds like an unlikely outcome, but it’s there in the record book, a plain fact as opposed to a myth. In the more distant past, Rossi managed to squeeze a few WRC outings into his motorcycling schedule, finishing just outside the top 10 in the 2006 New Zealand round.

Perhaps we shouldn’t consider such performances unlikely; Rossi has spent his entire life playing with engines and wheels. His father, Graziano, also a motorcycle racer of some repute, scored three grand prix wins in 1979, the year Valentino was born. He was forced to retire three years later due to a head injury, and in retirement he built a racing machine for his son. But it wasn’t a motorcycle.

“When Valentino was 6, I built him a kart,” Rossi senior recalls. “It was an evil thing—the chassis was for a 60cc engine, but I fitted a 100cc engine.”

Thus his son learned to do what he does best—battling on the brink of disaster—by thrashing this homemade device around the local gravel pits. He started racing a few years later, finishing fifth in the 1991 Italian junior karting championship, with the plan to graduate to the European championship the following year.

“Going fast is always what I wanted to do in my life; I think I inherited that from my father,” Rossi says. “I started to understand quite early that I have a special talent to do this. When I raced go-karts, I understood that I have a good feeling to understand what’s happening. But I was not the only one. There were other kids who were faster than me, so I said, ‘This is the way for me, but, f***, I have to improve.’”

There was one problem: Rossi’s father didn’t have the budget necessary to contest the European championship, so Valentino suggested he should race something cheaper: a popular type of racing minibike called Minimoto.

“My passions for cars and bikes were growing up together,” he adds. “But when Minimoto arrived, I began to think that I had a better taste from riding the bike. For sure, the money for racing karts was a problem, and because [my father] knew a lot of people in the bike world, it was more possible for him to find bikes and sponsors.”

Rossi switched full time to motorcycles in 1992, winning the local Minimoto championship at his first attempt. Three years later he was Italian 125cc champion, and in spring 1996 he made his Grand Prix debut. He won the 125cc world title the next year, then the 250cc world title in 1999. He graduated to the so-called class of kings in 2000, when the premier class featured evil 500cc two-strokes, with precipitous powerbands that had a nasty habit of overpowering the rear tire and flicking their rider into orbit.

“Racing 125s was like a game, 250s were serious, but 500s are very serious!” Rossi said during his rookie 500 season. “They’re dangerous: You open the throttle, and you’ve got almost 200 horsepower, so you have to be careful.”

Rossi conquered the 500cc class in 2001, the year before the category switched to 990cc four-stroke machines. He has won world titles on every kind of bike he has ridden, a unique achievement. Every motorcycle racer has his own technique, his own way of taming a motorcycle via throttle control, body weight, and maximizing traction. But different types of motorcycles require very different techniques to extract maximum performance from their engines and chassis. Rossi can swap seamlessly from one bike to another—the 500cc two-strokes he raced back in the day were very different machines to the MotoGP bikes he rides now.

Rossi’s style on any kind of motorcycle seems effortless—finding a tenth of a second here and a hundredth there—but it’s when he has to fight to win a race that he becomes truly spectacular. And this happens both and off the racetrack. He has always been a genius for taking apart his rivals, whether it’s with an apparently offhand remark in a press conference or an ultra-aggressive move on the final lap.

Texan Colin Edwards was Rossi’s MotoGP teammate at Yamaha for several years. “Valentino is very clever, how would you say it … he’s sly,” says Edwards, a two-time winner of the World Superbike title. “He’s very undercover, foxy, sly. He’s not real blatant about some of the mind games, but on the track he’s pretty vicious.”

For certain Rossi has won plenty of races by getting physical—barging into rivals at the last corner or suckering them into crashing out—and he is still as unforgiving as he ever was. But how long can he continue racing motorcycles at the limit? Maybe another year or two, then it will be cars even though he would probably prefer to stick to bikes forever; they hold an endless fascination for him.

“Even now in bike racing, it seems like there is something undiscovered,” he says. “When you drive a car, you are always in the same position, you are stuck in the seat, all you have to do is drive. On a motorcycle you use a lot of body movement, so the rider is more important than the driver in a car. I like driving cars, but for me riding bikes is more exciting and you can express yourself more.

“In car racing, the setup is very important. It is important for the driver to understand everything in order to modify the car to go faster. The setup is also important in bikes, but with the bike you can also modify your style to go faster; maybe you can change the way you move your body into a corner.”

Despite turning down Ferrari, he loved driving the company’s F1 cars.

“The car is f****** incredible, the acceleration is unbelievable!” he grins. “Maybe it’s about the same as a MotoGP bike, but the feeling is more exciting in the car. You feel the acceleration more because you sit lower and because the bike is light and very powerful, but the car is heavier and even more powerful, so you feel the push a lot more.

“With the Formula 1 car the driving becomes a bit unnatural, a bit different from a normal car—it is very important to understand how the aerodynamics work. A MotoGP bike is like a normal bike but lighter, more power, more everything. A Formula 1 car is not like a normal car. You have to understand all about the wings. The braking is very different. Everything is different. It is true that in MotoGP we already have a lot of technical meetings, a lot of thinking. I speak a lot about electronics with my guys, but in cars it is different. With cars, everything is already fixed, so if you do this, you make this lap time, if you add that fuel, you make that lap time. So it is like the driver doesn’t have anything to invent. It’s more like a job. Also, I don’t feel that the F1 atmosphere is close to my lifestyle. It’s a lot, lot more serious. I’m more comfortable in the bike world.”

It makes sense, then, that when Rossi does finally switch to cars, he will most likely swap asphalt for dirt, because he loves rallying so much.

“Driving rally cars is a lot of fun, a lot of sliding,” he says. “In circuit racing the most important thing is precision and perfection. In rally it is control which is most important, so it’s fun. I think it is more wild than motorcycle racing. It’s so different. You’re driving out in the country, with the mechanics working on the cars in the dirt.”

The switch is still at least a few years away: Rossi has already signed to stay with Yamaha’s MotoGP team for 2019 and 2020, so perhaps he will commence his full-time car racing career in 2021, when he will be 42. Catch his motorcycle exploits before he scrapes his elbow through one final apex, because there might never be another racer quite like him.

Photos: Rossi family archive, Ferrari S.p.A, Whit Bazemore

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jesusvasser · 6 years

Text

The Legend of Valentino Rossi is Still Going Strong at 39

“When Valentino was 6, I built him a kart,” Rossi senior recalls. “It was an evil thing—the chassis was for a 60cc engine, but I fitted a 100cc engine.”

Despite turning down Ferrari, he loved driving the company’s F1 cars.

It makes sense, then, that when Rossi does finally switch to cars, he will most likely swap asphalt for dirt, because he loves rallying so much.

Photos: Rossi family archive, Ferrari S.p.A, Whit Bazemore

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jonathanbelloblog · 6 years

Text

The Legend of Valentino Rossi is Still Going Strong at 39

“When Valentino was 6, I built him a kart,” Rossi senior recalls. “It was an evil thing—the chassis was for a 60cc engine, but I fitted a 100cc engine.”

Despite turning down Ferrari, he loved driving the company’s F1 cars.

It makes sense, then, that when Rossi does finally switch to cars, he will most likely swap asphalt for dirt, because he loves rallying so much.

Photos: Rossi family archive, Ferrari S.p.A, Whit Bazemore

#IFTTT #Performance Junk Blogger Feed 4

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jonathanbelloblog · 6 years

Text

The Legend of Valentino Rossi is Still Going Strong at 39

“When Valentino was 6, I built him a kart,” Rossi senior recalls. “It was an evil thing—the chassis was for a 60cc engine, but I fitted a 100cc engine.”

Despite turning down Ferrari, he loved driving the company’s F1 cars.

It makes sense, then, that when Rossi does finally switch to cars, he will most likely swap asphalt for dirt, because he loves rallying so much.

Photos: Rossi family archive, Ferrari S.p.A, Whit Bazemore

#IFTTT #Performance Junk Blogger Feed 4

0 notes