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xiu21chen99 · 4 years

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hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...

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layce2015 · 6 years

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The Wolf Among Us (Bigby Wolf x Reader)

A Crooked Mile:

Chapter 4 Severe Case Of Lycanthropy

Auntie Greenleaf's Apartment

1284 White Plains Ave

2:14 AM

"Bigby!" You shout as you and Snow catch up with him as you enter the apartment building. Bigby stopped and turned to face the three of you. "We just got here." Snow said to him. "Yeah, me too. It's number 23. I haven't seen it yet." Bigby replied.

"We're late." Snow said.

"Yeah, I know." Bigby replied and all three of you walk up to the door that had the number 23 on it. "This is it." He said as the three of you stand in front of it the door. "Alright. How do you want to do this?" Snow asked you and Bigby.

Bigby puts an ear to the door to listen for anything. "Hear anything?" You asked him. "If anyone's in there, they're being awfully quiet...." He replied then he goes to knock on the door. Seconds later, the door opens to reveal alittle girl in a yellow dress and her black hair in pigtails. "Hello?" She answered, groggily.

You, Snow and Bigby look at each other before facing the little girl. "Hi..." Snow greeted. "You woke me up." The girl said. "Uh, sorry about that." You said to her. "Is something wrong?" The girl asked as she rubs her eyes. "Who are you?" Bigby asked the girl.

The girl opens the door alittle wider and replies. "Rachel. Who are you?"

"Well, I'm the Sheriff. And these two are my partners." Bigby replied. "Uh, I'm the boss." Snow said, annoyed. You rolled your eyes as Rachel said. "Pleased to meet you. How do you do? Is there....Is there anything you need?"

"Is Aunty Greenleaf at home? Does she live here?" You asked her. "You mean my mom?" Rachel said. "She ever...you know, make nightstand levitate? Turn frogs into cats, that kind of thing?" Bigby asked her.

"Is she a witch, dear?" Snow asked, getting to the point. "Oh no, I would never call my mommy that. She treats me alright." Rachel replied. "Is there....uh, something you want?" She asked as you three stand there.

"Rachel, do you mind it we take just a quick peek around?" Bigby asked her. "We'll be very quick, and we won't touch anything." You said to Rachel and the three of you begin to walk in the very crowded room.

"I've been here all night! Nobody's been here!" Rachel shouts as she chases after you three. Bigby glances at her before she says. "Ok, Sheriff, I'm gonna trust you not to break anything...don't get me in trouble."

"What are we looking for, specifically?" Snow asked you and Bigby. "Crane. He could still be here." Bigby replies as you and him look around the room. There was a stove, a cabinet with some trinkets and vases inside of it, potted plants, a skull of a deer on the wall, a record player and a picture of Greenleaf and Rachel. Behind you was a very large tree and a couch.

You glance at the record player and turn to Rachel. "Lemme guess...big band or classical?" You asked her. Rachel smirks and said. "Honky Tonk."

"No accounting for taste...." Bigby mutters and you elbow his stomach. You chuckle alittle as he looks at the picture. "That your mom?" He asked. "Uh huh." Rachel said.

"It's pretty rare to see a burner like this." You said as you bend down and look at the stove. "Dowdy. That's how we like it." Rachel replied.

"Your mom a hunter?" Bigby asked as he looks at the deer skull. "Oh, no, she'd never...that was found in the woods around Dix Mountain. I think." Rachel replied.

You turn around and looked at the large tree. "What is this?" You asked as Bigby turns and walks next to you, look at the tree. "Mommy uses that to carve her trinkets. It's from the old world." Rachel replied. "Trinkets? Like glamours?" Snow asked her, and she shrugs at Snow.

Bigby sniffs and mutters. "Not here."

"There's no one here but me." Rachel replied.

Bigby walks back over to them and goes to the Partition and looks behind it but sees nothing. "There's nothing that looks like Crane was here, either." Bigby said.

"Nothing?" You asked.

"See?" Rachel said, smirking.

You shake your head and go to the back of the room and sees a closet door. You open it and see a box with a label that said:

Deliver to Aunty Greenleaf

Return Address The Butcher

Then in the bottom corner was an odd symbol that was of a wheel with a person inside of it but it's limbs were bend in odd angles. You remember seeing that symbol on one of the packages back at the Tweedles before you left. "The Butcher." You muttered. "What's that?" Bigby and Snow asked. "A package having to do with someone called The Butcher. I saw one just like it at the Tweedles' office." You replied as you shut the door.

"Damn it." Bigby mutters. "I keep getting whiffs of that aftershave of his."

You sniff in the air and nodded. "I do, too." You replied while Snow nods at the two of you.

Rachel rubs her eyes and said. "Can I go to bed now? Please?" All of you glance at each other and you started to follow Snow, who was heading to the door. Rachel moves away and Bigby noticed that there was a glamour tube on the work table that was behind the girl.

"Is that a glamour tube?" Bigby asked and you and Snow stop and you walk back over to him. "Mommy really doesn't let anyone play with that. Trust me, I've tried." Rachel said.

Bigby walks up to the table and picks up the tube. "Oh, no no no no no, please please please just put that back exactly where you found it. No one is allowed to play with that." Rachel said, fearfully. "It's alright, honey, Bigby's not going to break it." Snow said to her, sweetly.

"No, you don't understand. She will freak out if she discovers I've let people in here and let them touch her stuff, okay? She checks all the time to see if things move. I don't wanna get in trouble." Rachel said in fear again.

"I'm not gonna break it, I just want to open it." Bigby said and he starts to mess with the tube. "No! Put it down!" Rachel screams. And when she screams the room started to shake then it stops. You look around the room in fear as Rachel begins to shout while Snow holds her back. "Pleeeeeease! Don't! This isn't what you think! You've gotta believe me, that guy isn't here! I promise!"

"It's going to be okay, Rachel!" You said to her as Bigby starts to mess with the tube. "Please. I'm begging you. I don't wanna...I don't wanna get in trouble." She said as she looks over at Snownin sadness.

Finally, Bigby opens the tube and then you hear Rachel starting to scream. You look over at her and become shocked as Rachel transforms into an old woman, Aunty Greenleaf you presumed. "Auntie Greenleaf." Snow gasped in shock.

"It hurts...when you do it that fast." Greenleaf said, angrily, and she begins to stretch her limbs. "You think we have time to waste on this shit?" Bigby asked, angrily, as he marched up to the woman. "You think this is some kind of game?"

"No. I don't. But congratulations on winning it...if that matters to you." Greenleaf sneers at him.

"Alright. Start explaining! And from the beginning. " Snow shouts at her as she walks over to her couch and sits down. "I was born in the woods to a jackal and a deer...." Greenleaf started to explain but you shout over her. "Not. That."

"Please, Greenleaf. Just help us catch Crane. That's all we care about." Bigby said to her. "That's not all we care about." Snow said to him, angrily. "Snow..." you said to her, calmly.

"I ain't a fortune teller, Wolf. I have no heavenly idea where he went to." Greenleaf replied.

"You have to know something." Snow said.

"You're an accomplice to murder, do you realize that?" You said to Greenleaf.

"You might wanna check your facts on that." Greenleaf said, firmly. "It doesn't matter. I can't help you. I have no interest in being turned into a skink and crushed under boot heels. There's powers at work here beyond your pathetic authority."

"Whatever it is, Greenleaf....whatever it is that's keeping you from saying something?" Snow said.

"We can protect you, okay? Whatever it is you're afraid of....we can make sure that it won't come to pass." Bigby said to her. "You have no idea what's going on, do you?" Greenleaf asked as she slightly shakes her head.

"Okay, you know what I think? I think we've been more than patient with you." Snow said, angrily, then she turns and walks up to you and Bigby and said. "This witch been selling illegal glamours that continue to undermine everything we've built....she's harboring a fugitive that took advantage of it, and now she's resisting every attempt to make things right. I frankly don't give a crap if she's afraid for her life, we can at least make sure she never hurts us again." She walks up to the tree and looks at it before she says. "We're destroying the tree."

Greenleaf begins to panic and she stands up and shouts. "No!" And the room began to shake. You and Bigby almost fall over but regain your balance as Greenleaf looks between the three of you in anger. "How dare you come in here and threaten to take from me the one thing that.....that tree is ancient, it's part of the family, and it's the only thing paying for this shithole apartment! And the Fables who can't afford the glamours from you come to me for help. Without them, where do you think they could go?" She said, angrily.

"Don't give me that! You're making money off of other peoples' misery. Two Fables are dead because of this crap!" Snow shouts then she turns to you two again and said. "It's too dangerous leaving this stuff with her."

"You think I like being the old woman in these stories? The men are heroes, the ladies are whores...and the old hags like me get to watch everyone they love die!" sneers Greenleaf.

"We have very different ways of handling our fate." Snow said to her. "Very different means to handle it, too." Greenleafs snaps back. "Isn't there another way? She's a witch, can't she just....work for us? That way she'd be offical...." you said to Snow.

"You want to reward her for criminal behavior? We can't trust this woman on the Thirteenth floor." Snow said to you, angrily.

"It doesn't matter cause I'd never do it. I'm not a house cat and I don't play well with others." Greenleaf said. "Oh, trust me, no one would confuse you for a cuddly animal." Snow sneered at the witch. Greenleaf glares at her and Snow turns to you two and said, firmly. "Bigby....(y/n)....this is an order. Burn the tree."

Greenleaf runs in front of the tree in a protective stance. "No! Look, look, I'll tell you, I'll tell you...Crane was here, he was here and he left. He went to the Pudding n' Pie to try to use my ring on the girls over there to get information."

"What does the ring do?" You asked her.

"He thinks it's the Ring of Dispel....you know, that it will pierce the protection around the girls' speech. He says pulling the truth out of them will prove his innocence. It won't, though....damned thing lost its power decades ago." Greenleaf replied.

"I'm sorry, but....we still can't let you keep the tree. It wouldn't be right after what's happened." Snow said. "Guys?"

"Please, Sheriff and Deputy...." Greenleaf begs.

"Today is your lucky day, Greenleaf. I'm hiring you as the Business Office's newest witch in residence." Bigby said.

"Bigby!" Snow shouted in anger.

"The witches over there will keep her out of trouble, and--and we have a glamour shortage as it is. It makes the most sense, Snow." Bigby said to her.

"Besides, Snow, are you sure you're doing this for Fabletown, or are you just angry at Crane because you're being a protective big sister?" You asked her.

"Of course, I'm angry. I mean, you do realize what he was doing...."

"Yes, I do! I'm angry too, Snow. But that doesn't give us the right to ruin a woman's life!" You said, angrily. "We're not burning the tree!"

"Don't expect me to bow down to your sister here!" Greenleaf said to you. You and Bigby glance at each other and start to walk out of the apartment. "Don't think for a second that this is over." Snow said, threatenly, at Greenleaf as she follows you two.

"So what, are moving trucks gonna show up here or something?" Greenleaf asked. "Something like that." Snow said in a low tone. "We'll call you." You said as Bigby opens the door and let you and Snow out first before he leaves and shuts the door.

#fanfic #fan fiction #reader insert #x reader #bigby wolf #bigby wolf imagine #bigby wolf x reader #sheriff bigby #the wolf among us #twau #twau bigby

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