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#he way he talks about hard work just <3333
lovebugism · 5 months
Note
hi angel! I have a little fictober request … can I pls get holding hands for the first time from the prompt list with steve harrington and shy!reader? maybe they’re in a busy place and steve doesn’t want to lose r so he grabs her hand, not realising how ridiculously flustered she gets <3333
ty for requesting angel :D this can be read as a part two to this fic!
summary: steve takes you to a mall in the city in a desperate attempt to spend time with you, fending off freaks, douchebags, and your anxious tendencies alike (shy!reader, hurt/comfort, friends to lovers cw for mentions of anxiety, 3.5k)
fictober leftovers (㇏(•̀ᵥᵥ•́)ノ)
Steve idles between the X-rated horror and thriller sections for several long minutes until he works up the courage to talk to you. You’re a pretty little thing behind the counter, hand in your palm as you scribble into the journal Keith threatened to confiscate from you earlier that morning.
He’s never been this nervous to talk to you. Things are different now. Post-first date, and Steve’s still toeing that wretched line between friends and something more. The puppy love is so painfully mutual, but it’s equally hard to navigate. He can’t come on too strong — not with someone as soft as you — but he’s still got some King Steve left in him. He’s still learning how to be gentle.
With sweaty hands, he walks up to the counter and tries to be subtle about the whole thing. Stealthy, like a ninja. He leans on his folded-up arms and blurts before he means to, “So you’re, like, totally coming tomorrow, right?”
You lift your chin and blink at him with wide eyes. You hadn’t heard him come over, too busy doodling a bunch of nothingness in your notebook. Your stomach whirls at the sight of him. It takes you a moment too long to answer.
“Coming… where?”
“To the mall,” he reminds, then corrects himself with a shrug. “The one in the city— not the shithole we have here.”
“Oh. Uh, I don’t— I don’t know,” you stammer. Steve invited you earlier that week, and you promised to think about it. You did. And you want so desperately to go, but your brain’s too mean, and it just won’t let you.
The disappointment that flashes on his face is fleeting, but you don’t miss it. The hurt softens his features in an unbearable way. It makes your chest ache.
“C’mon,” Steve presses in a gentle lilt. He leans closer to you, eyes twinkling and lips curling. “It could be fun, you know? I mean, everyone’s gonna be there.”
He’s trying his best to persuade you. He has no idea that that’s exactly what’s keeping you from going. Crowds are always stress-inducing, even those of the familiar kind.
“Everyone as in…?”
“Robin, obviously. Dustin, too,” Steve answers, counting on his fingers as he goes. “Max is coming, but Lucas has a basketball thing, so he can’t. And the rest of the little shits are in California, so that’s definitely a plus.”
It’s a dumb joke, but it makes you laugh anyway — a quiet giggle of a thing that makes him grin.
“Uh… Eddie’s coming, too, I think— but don’t let that dissuade you, alright? I promise I’ll protect you from that freak. You don’t have to worry about him.”
You smile because you know he’s joking. You’ve met Eddie a couple times now. He’s always been really sweet to you. Him and Steve just have a strange complex that forces them to be assholes to each other.
“And also, I’m gonna be there. Obviously. So…” he trails off with a wavering smile. So if you don’t wanna come for them, maybe you can come for me, is what he’s really trying to tell you.
“I don’t know,” you repeat, quieter now as you shrink into yourself. You try and fail to meet Steve’s honeyed gaze. “I just feel like I’ll make everything all weird.”
His bushy brows pinch, almost in offense that you’d think you’re anything less than totally perfect. “Why would you think that?”
“‘Cause… I don’t know,” you murmur in a quiet sigh. You don’t want to lie to him, but telling the truth feels so much harder. “They don’t really know me, you know? And I feel like… like I’ll just ruin everything if I’m there…”
It takes Steve a couple of seconds to answer you. He doesn’t know how you could say something that — like you don’t light up every room you’re in. “Well, that’s… that’s just not true,” he argues with a shrug. “They like you. They love you, actually— they just wanna get to know you. And the only way they’re gonna get to know you is if you come hang out every once in a while.”
Your heart flutters. You want to believe him. It’s hard for you to comprehend that anyone could care so much about your presence, so you just nod and don’t say anything further. 
Steve is quick to comfort you, almost like he can read your mind. “But if you think it’s gonna be too much, you could always just stick with me. I’ll fend off the freaks for you, no problem.”
His cinnamon eyes glimmer with honey. He looks at you far too fondly to say no.
—————
There’s six of you crammed into Steve’s 733i. It’s already a tight fit, but it’s more suffocating when it’s full of a million different conversations. Almost all of them are pointed your way. Steve tries to bat everyone off of you, but it’s hard to yell at everyone and drive at the same time.
You’re being a pretty good sport about it despite how anxiously helpless you feel. 
You wring your clammy hands in your lap and try to regulate your bated breaths, nodding to whatever Max is telling you. It’s hard to hear her because Eddie’s talking to you, too. You’re too scared he’ll think you’re mean if you stop him.
You watch Robin reach for the radio, complaining about all the yelling as she turns up the volume. The cheesy pop song is all you can hear. The conversations around you become a monotone buzzing. You feel like you could just about explode.
“Jesus, you guys are acting like you’ve never seen another person before,” Steve shouts over it all, the only definite thing you can understand. “Let her breathe before she thinks we’re all a bunch of lunatics, alright?”
He’s met with a bunch of muffled complaints, but the noise quietens nonetheless.
Steve glances at you in the rearview, a quick check to make sure you’re still okay. You catch him doing it and try your best to give him a smile. It looks more like a wince.
“Well, it’s your fault for finally bringing someone cool around,” Max argues with all her practiced teenaged ambiguity. “I have to spend all day surrounded by freaks— at least now there’s someone halfway normal to talk to.”
“I’m normal!” Steve insists, face twisted in offense.
“You’re a jock.”
“Hey. C’mon, Red,” Eddie scolds, so obviously playful. “Let’s not go throwing the j-word around—”
The brunette boy huffs. “Thank you!”
“—Jock would imply that Steve’s still cool,” the wild-haired boy continues. “Which he isn’t.”
Poorly hidden laughter fills the small car. Steve nods and mutters beneath it all, “Yeah. Okay. Thanks for the clarification, Munson.”
He glances at you again and finds you cracking a halfway sincere smile. He shoots you a light-hearted glare. “Don’t laugh! You’re just encouraging him!”
“Sorry,” you apologize, hiding your giggle behind your fist. “’M sorry.”
Steve smiles at you, silently tells you he doesn’t really mean it. He’d let Musnon make fun of him all day if he thought it meant he’d get to hear you laugh like that again.
—————
You take your first good breath in an hour when you step out of the car. 
Steve shuts it off and gravitates towards you on instinct. His honey eyes are wide as they dart across your flustered features. You see his hands reach towards you, to grab your elbows maybe, but he decides against it.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” you nod, quicker than you mean to. “I’m good.”
“Okay. I’m sorry. I really tried to—”
“I know,” you cut him off with a sweet, still quiet smile. “It’s still okay.”
He sighs heavy, like a deep breath of relief. “Okay. Good,” he hums, almost to himself, nodding with a pink grin you could stare at all day. He would’ve let you, but neither of you get the chance. 
Your friends start messing around, and the chaos melts into the buzzing crowd surrounding you, and you realize the two of you aren’t the only people on earth. Bummer.
You gather around the large map at the entrance of the bustling mall. “Where should we go first?” Dustin chirps from the front of the crowd. His eyes are as wide as his smile. “Game Player? Sam Goody? Oh, look— they have a RadioShack! I’ve been looking for a new supercomm. It’s on the other side of the  building, though, but we can just work our way around, I guess—”
“Jesus, Dusty-Bun,” Robin interjects with a gritty laugh. She stands on the outside of the group, arms crossed over her chest, effortlessly too cool for it all. “Take a breath, buddy.”
“Don’t call me that!” the boy gripes over his right shoulder.
Steve shrugs. “Go wherever you want to. I don’t care.”
Dustin looks to his left, shooting the older boy a glare. “Aren’t you supposed to be the babysitter?”
“You’re fourteen!”
“Well, what if I get kidnapped?”
“No one’s kidnapping you, alright? Trust me,” Steve jokes, only smiling when he sees you trying to hide yours. He puts his hands on his waist and cocks his hip to the side. “They’ll send you right back where you came from. You have nothing to worry about.”
Dustin squints. “Rude.”
“We’ll just meet back at the food court in, like, two hours. And if you don’t get yourself killed, you’ll be fine,” Steve reasons with a nonchalant shrug and a jutted-out lip.
“Oh. Wow. Thanks, Steve. What would I ever do without you?”
He rolls his cinnamon eyes at the boy’s monotone. “Alright, smartass.”
When the rest of the group dissipates, he leans over to nudge your shoulder. It knocks you from your stupor — so deep in your own head you were practically drowning. You blink at him with wide, glassy eyes. “Hm?”
“Do you wanna go anywhere?” he asks with a wavering smile. His laugh is equally forced. “You’re kinda staring a hole into the map there…”
“Oh. No. I was just…” you trail off with a shake of your head. You’re not entirely sure what to tell him, how to make him understand your easily overstimulated mind. “I was just distracted. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. No big deal.”
“Where did everyone else go?” you wonder with a furrow to your brow, noticing the lack of familiar chaos around you.
“Eddie and Dustin went to some movie store, and I think Robin and Max are on the hunt for cassettes.”
“Okay...” you nod with a tremble in your voice. 
You’re still not totally used to being alone with Steve. Your friends are usually good distractions. They fill your awkward silences with something funnier and talk loud when you get too quiet. When they’re not around it’s just… awkward silences and quiet air. 
You get too in your own head, so eager to impress the pretty boy beside you, that you end up putting your foot in your mouth.
Steve doesn’t seem nearly as apprehensive. Instead, he’s beaming at the fact that he’s finally got you alone. He doesn’t have to worry about quieting Dustin when he gets too loud or shoving Eddie away when he forgets what personal space is. It’s quieter with just the two of you — warmer, cozier, easier.
“Wanna go down to the food court?” he wonders, honey eyes sparkling when he looks your way. “I know you haven’t eaten anything yet, so…”
Your eyes narrow, accusing and playful. “How would you know that?”
“Uh, ‘cause I know you,” the boy scoffs like it’s obvious. “I basically have to force you to eat every morning.”
“That’s not true!”
“It so is!” Steve giggles and it’s heaven to your ears, the exact sound of honey. “That’s why I hate not opening with you. ‘Cause if I’m not around to force you to eat the other half of my Poptart, I’m just, like, worrying if you’re withering away or not.”
Your face burns hot. Your heart swells with a similar warmth that borders on painful. You didn’t think he cared so much about you — or that he ever thought about you outside of work or the occasional hangout.
“Fine,” you concede with your arms crossed over your chest, trying not to seem as flustered as you feel. “Let’s go to the food court.”
Steve grins. He follows you in stride when you start to head that way. “Cool. We can go get one of those disgustingly good burgers or something.”
“For breakfast?” you wonder with a light-hearted laugh.
“Yeah! Like, one of those crazy huge ones, you know? The patties are, like, the size of your fist— make a fist.”
You do. You ball your fingers and hold them up between you. Steve holds onto your wrist for further inspection, fingers long and warm and soft. You swallow.
“Bigger than your fist,” he corrects with a laugh. The sweet sound is drowned out by the swell of yelling teenagers. They talk so loudly and over one another that their conversations become a meaningless drones.
Two in particular shove at one another, laughing loud like it’s fun. One of them almost barrels into you — long blonde hair, tight shirt, tighter jeans, and cologne so potent it stings your nose. He just narrowly misses you, mostly because Steve’s there to yank you out of the way.
The boy’s gentle grip on you tightens. He pulls you close until you’re stumbling into his side. With a strong arm wrapped around you, he shouts at the roughhousing teens — “Watch where you’re going, assholes!”
The scrawny boys walk on ahead of you. They seem apologetic, halfway scared at first. When they realize Steve’s not rushing to beat their asses, they chuckle about the whole thing and keep punching each other.
You’re still frozen in shock — not so much of fear anymore, but of how tightly Steve’s holding onto you. It’s an embrace of the firmer kind, a touch so solid you feel immediately safer inside it. You don’t think you’ve ever been this close before. The teenage girl in your heart starts to spin.
“You okay?” Steve asks when the anger ebbs.
“Yeah,” you nod, swallowing tightly and forcing an awkward laugh. “You don’t have to keep asking me that, you know?”
He nods rapidly, then notices how close he’s holding you. Fearful that he’s made you uncomfortable, he uncurls his arm from around you and takes a small step back. “No, I know! I just wanna— I just wanna make sure, you know? ‘Cause I know you don’t like… all this.”
He waves his hands vaguely out beside him.
You’re immediately cold without him holding you. You wrap your arms around yourself to compensate for the lack of him. 
“Yeah, but… It’s not the rest of the world’s fault that I’m scared of everything,” you say with another forced laugh, shifting your weight on your feet. If you could melt into your oversized sweater, you would. “It’s mine. So I can deal with it. I have to deal with it.”
Steve nods, slower this time and with a silent sense of understanding. He steps closer to you and shrugs. “I think the least I can do is make it a little easier on you… And I feel like I’ve been doing the exact opposite of that all day.”
“That’s not true,” you argue with the shake of your head.
His chocolate eyes widen. You’re rarely so assertive. “No?”
“No,” you answer, softer this time as you grow sheepish all over again. Your unsure gaze darts from your dirty sneakers to his twinkling eyes until it makes you dizzy. “You’re actually making it more bearable for me, so…”
“Oh. Okay. Good,” he nods with a smile, breathless because his chest is swelling with pride. He knows the world can be a little much for someone as soft as you. It’s good to know that he’s the exception to all that. 
He gets lost in the way you look at him for a moment too long. He clears his throat and stammers, “Uh, do you still wanna go get food?” he asks, pointing off beside him. “We can find somewhere quiet to eat so we don’t have to deal with teenage douchebags the entire time.”
Your heart lurches into your throat. It’s practically your love language — spending time alone in a quiet space, with no overt need for conversation or people to fill the void. 
You nod, trying and failing to hide the beam on your face. “Yeah. That’d be nice.”
—————
The quiet place in question is a photo booth on the halfway vacant, furthest end of the mall. Closed curtains, small spaces, and entwined breaths. It smells like his deep cologne, your perfume, and a freshly cooked meal. It’s too easy to forget that there’s a whole world outside of here.
You sit twisted on the bench, facing Steve with your burger trays in front of you. You pluck salty fries from the plate with a trembling hand, distantly fearful that you’re not supposed to be eating here. You think being so close to Steve is worth the risk.
“Is this the day you were expecting to have?” Steve asks with a lopsided grin. He takes a big bite of his burger right after and gets mustard on the corner of his mouth.
“No,” you answer, giggling as he swipes the stain away with his tongue. “But not because it’s bad.”
“Hm?” he hums to egg you on. He’s got too much of a mouthful for anything else.
“Mm-mm,” you shake your head, equally nonverbal as you chew on a handful of fry crumbs. You swipe your palms together to dispel the grains of salt. “I’m having more fun than I thought I would, actually.”
Steve scoffs in disbelief. “Spending time with me? Alone in a photo booth? That’s a good time to you?”
His tone makes you self-conscious. You feel a little shameful, like a child, because you don’t need much to be entertained. You get all warm with embarrassment, too. Being alone with Steve has always felt like climbing mountains — something short of an adrenaline rush that makes you think you could conquer the world. Maybe you’re too small in comparison to do the same for him.
“Yeah,” you shrug in an inaudible murmur. “I don’t know— I just… I like spending time with you, you know? I don’t really care what we’re doing.”
Steve’s chest swells. From a girl who too often keeps to herself, inherently nervous and incessantly frightened of being a burden, it’s more of a proclamation of love than he ever thought he’d get from you.
“Well, I’m glad we’re on the same page,” he confesses with a crooked pink grin, internally praying his cheeks aren’t as red hot as they feel.
He holds his half-eaten burger out towards you. You knock yours with his, clinking them together like champagne glasses. He takes another too big bite. You go to do the same but get a whiff of the sleeve of your sweater before you can. 
“God, I smell like a teenage boy,” you groan, only half-playful. The nose-burning musk from the kid from before has seemingly stuck itself onto you. Like fruit and sage and wood and vanilla, every scent ever made combined.
“I wasn’t gonna say anything, but you definitely smell like bodyspray,” Steve affirms, scruffy cheeks jutted out from the burger in his mouth.
“I think I’ve been tainted,” you giggle, a quieter sound compared to his boyish laughter. “Thanks for saving me, by the way.”
You’re saying it to be nice, but you watch him get all shy about it when you take a bite of your sandwich. He shifts on the bench, like he suddenly can’t get comfortable. When he rubs his palms on his thighs, you can’t tell if it’s because of the salty fries or because they’re clammy.
“Yeah— I didn’t mean to— I didn’t mean to grab you like that,” he stammers with an apologetic twinkle in his eye and a gaze that can’t quite meet yours. “Just so you know. I was just trying to—”
“Save me?” you interject.
Steve smiles when he sees how softly you’re looking at him. He shrugs. “Well, I was gonna say ‘pull you from the line of fire,’ but sure.”
“It’s okay,” you repeat for perhaps the thousandth time that day. “I didn’t mind. It felt nice, actually— you have really warm hands.”
“That’s ‘cause yours are always ice cold.”
“Well, maybe that’s because you’re not holding them,” you blurt before you mean to. 
You freeze mid-bite, eyes wide in distant horror as your blood runs cold. In a desperate attempt to break away from the awkwardness you caused, you muster a trembling smile. “I’m kidding,” you murmur, halfway hidden behind your burger.
You weren’t.
Steve knows this, too, so he smiles. 
He’d been thinking about it all day, in truth — how he was gonna get to hold your hand without having to stick his foot in his mouth to ask you. Turns out, a series of unfortunate events and an impromptu date in a photo booth was all it took. And he’s grateful. For all of it.
“No, you weren’t,” he teases, fingers as warm as his smile when he wraps them around yours. He holds gently onto your hand — even though it makes eating a little harder, even though your fingers are cold, even though you tremble.
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cottontears · 10 months
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can i request #31 and #39 with spencer reid
wild on you baby
ೃ⁀➷ sub! spencer reid x dom afab! reader
ೃ⁀➷ word count 0.9k+
ೃ⁀➷ a/n: i hope you like anon, jealous spencer <3333
ೃ⁀➷ warnings: butt plugs, handjobs, blowjobs, piv, creampie, unprotected sex, jealousy, overstimulation, orgasm denial, fluff, smut
ೃ⁀➷ please reblog & leave a comment with your thoughts 🫶🏻
╰➤ linktree ╰➤ pinterest╰➤ requests open check rules
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spencer did not consider himself a particularly jealous person, but he was insecure.
he watched as you flirted with a potential lead, not the most ethical way to get information, but it was efficient.
you laughed at something he said, placing your hand on his shoulder, and you smiled so pretty, he was possessive of your smiles. he worked for your smiles, how dare you just flippantly smile at him, at a stranger who was not him.
he clenched his jaw, body tensed in anger.
he turned around to face morgan.
“what’s got your panties in a twist pretty boy?” his smile was conniving.
“it doesn’t matter.”
~
spencer reid was being a brat. he was rolling his eyes, and talking back, disrespecting you in front of the team.
you have had enough of him. as soon as the door to the apartment you lived in together closed you lay your cold gaze on his.
“what’s wrong spencer? you have been acting like a brat. are you a brat spencer?” 
he looked at you with glistening eyes, chin trembling from frustration. 
“baby, i don’t know what has gotten into you, but you have been acting like a child! i cannot stand idle and allow that.”
his inhale was sharp, and he turned his head to the side, avoiding your eyes. 
“okay. well then, i guess i will have to get started on your punishment until you deem me worthy of explanation.”
spencer did not want to be punished, but he also did not want to admit the reason that he acted out was petty jealousy. he also knew his safe words but was aware of his actions and their consequences. so he took a deep breath and followed you to the bedroom.
“here’s how this is going to go, i’m going to punish you for each time you acted out, tell me what happened and maybe i’ll lower the punishment. but for now, let’s start with one.”
when you prowled toward him he knew he was in for hell.
you led him towards the bed.
“clothes off.”
he followed orders, kneeling in the bed with his hands on his thighs. watching as you moved around the bedroom, unlocking the special drawer where you hid all the toys.
“i am going to blindfold you now. i would gag you, but i would like to hear you when you beg for forgiveness.”
you wrapped silk around his eyes. his fingers curled into fists on his thighs.
“i want you on all fours spencer. you know your safe word.”
he nodded, “red.”
“good.”
he yelped when he felt your warm slick fingers prod at his hole. he let out a pathetic whimper as your fingers slid inside him, prodding and teasing, loosening him up. he bucked his hips. dick hard and leaking. as your fingers slid over his sweet spot. 
he whined and whined, and you teased him until he was trembling with need, before sliding your fingers out. 
before he could protest, he felt cool pressure against his hole, as you pushed in a plug snug against his prostate.
“this is your new friend, you will get to know each other a lot. and you will hate it. “
he let out a pitiful moan as he felt and heard the plug vibrate, it was intense, but not enough get him over the edge.
“lay on your back. let me look at you.”
he heard you circle the bed. his breaths came in shallow, chest rising and falling as you grabbed his limbs and tied them to the bed.
when he was restrained, he felt your warm slick hand wrap around his aching cock. “will you tell me what got you so bitchy?”
he shook his head, biting his lip.
“well then…”
and you flicked your wrist, jolts of pleasure making his body spasm. your hand was fast, and he was close, body twitching, muscles contracting. he was about to burst, he just needed a little more. which you did not give to him.
he cried out, tears prickling his eyes as his body shook with from lack of stimulation.
“please! please! i need you, i need to come!”
“how badly do you need to come!”
“really badly!” he whined.
“then tell me why you were acting like a brat.” you ran your hands up and down his sides, along his sensitive inner thighs, which trembled with need. 
“please don’t make me!”
“maybe you need more persuading.” 
before he could beg more, your warm wet mouth was on his dick. tongue-peppering kitten licks over his length. hands wrapped around his base, your thumbs made circles on his length, as your tongue swirled and teased his tip.
his cock ached, and he was so sensitive, his every muscle was tight with tension. he opened his mouth, not being able to keep it any longer.
“i was jealous! okay? you were flirting, he looked much better than me, and you smiled at him. i didn’t like it when you smiled at him okay?” his voice was whiny.
“spencer, you just had to tell me and i would have stopped. i don’t want to flirt with other guys when i have you here to flirt with me. i love you, okay, spencer. and you are perfect, beautiful, and so smart, and i love you so much, everything, every molecule of your being that makes you you. you are mine in the same way that i am yours.”
you gave him no warning as you sank into him. he was so sensitive he felt all his nerve endings burst with pleasure. he was unable to warn you before he came, strings of come painting your walls.
“did that feel good pretty boy?”
he hummed. “i love you.”
“i love you too, now next time you act like a brat, i will not be so forgiving."
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drizztdohurtin · 8 days
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Gale Headcanons: pining, dating, marriage & domesticity
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〚 Masterlist | WIP List 〛
this one's gonna be a doozy <3
I did change it slightly from the original description on the poll (which was dating, romance, and domesticity) because I felt like marriage would be a simple add-on.. who doesn't want more Gale content, anyways?
This post will be organized into 4 parts: pining, dating, domesticity, and marriage - so only read the parts you're interested in!
-MDNI-
some nsfw in the 'dating' & 'marriage' sections, but nothing explicitly described
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Pining:
i mean.... we all played the game, right
in the game, act 1 only includes light courting with Gale, versus the far more intimate moments Tav can have with companions like Lae'zel and Astarion
Tav's relationship with Gale goes from 0 to 100 in the game once you get to act 2, and I'm not a big fan of that
he's just like "hey remember that one time we shared a blink of a moment in the weave and then we never talked or hinted at anything ever again? Great, now let's have sex and also I love you <3333"
Realistically, that's not how Gale would be, so let's rewrite history
Gale's courting tactics involve a lot of info-dumping and complimenting, as we know, and he does this without even realizing it at first
up until the party at camp, that is his only strategy
he realizes he likes you fairly early on, but he actually battles those feelings for a long time - he tries very hard to shove them down and forget about them
but he can't!! everything you do seems to draw him in more and more
at the party when he offers to have a magical moment with you, he does not think you reciprocate any feelings for him
he just wanted to give you a little glimpse into the thing that he loved so much, the thing that he'd spent his whole life learning
it's not something he would do with just anyone, even if it just seemed like a friendly gesture
once he perceives your feelings for him, or at the very least the fact that you want to kiss him, he's elated - hoping to the Gods that the impression on his chest doesn't start glowing at his excitement
it was too risky to do anything with you that night, but it was all he could think about once he was in the privacy of his tent
he thought about what it meant - did you just want to kiss him (was it lust?) or did you mean something deeper? did you want him the way he wanted you? did you admire him the way he admired you?
but then he thought of the danger, and how it was pointless to get close to you or to allow you to get close to him
pointless only because he could literally level a city at any moment
but you just kept being you, and so he kept falling harder and harder - eventually, he just had to confess
upon his confession, he didn't sugarcoat anything, he was brutally honest about his worries
but he was also brutally honest about his feelings for you
the fact that you reciprocated any feelings towards him, the man with the ticking time bomb in his chest, was astonishing
he was so happy... and yet he felt so guilty
Dating:
you two start dating before the orb is stabilized by Elminster
it's very nerve-wracking for him, but he can't deny how wonderful it feels to be yours
upon your suggestion, he would agree to slowly try to take things further and further, up to a certain point
each night in his tent, you'd experiment with him - starting with just holding him, or sleeping next to him, or kissing his face
Gale made a whole big deal about your guys' first kiss, and you realized that the build-up could actually increase the chances of any unwanted orb activity
so one day you just walk up to him and kiss him
nothing long, nothing deep - just a quick kiss, stepping away right after (the look on his face was priceless btw)
and you were right, all of Gale's inner build-up to it was the issue (poor guy), so once it was over with it was very easy to work up to the point where you could come to his tent and kiss him for hours
one night you start exploring each other's bodies and you're surprised with how well of a hold he seems to have on not allowing his excitement to reach his orb, as you're able to go much further than you thought you would on the first night
but once you get to a point where your hands start exploring lower, under certain pieces of clothing, that's when it is time to stop
Gale would apologize profusely, telling you he'd give anything to be able to please you, but it was too dangerous at that moment - you'd have to keep working up to it (plz reassure him that that's not why you're with him, and you'll wait as long as you need to, even if you're never able to do anything with him PLEASE)
you and the group come across Elminster about a tenday after that, and *poof* the orb is stabilized
that night you and Gale go to "test out" the newfound stability of the orb
Gale's pretty nervous about it at first, but his anxiety is proven to not be needed pretty quickly
he ends up going down on you that night, wanting to save anything further for a more private, intimate setting
your first time together happens once you get to the shadow-cursed lands (the canon in-game scene, whichever you prefer)
after that, you guys have a few more encounters up until the Absolute is defeated - not being allotted much time for private intimacy
the 500 words describing the progression of your guys' physical intimacy aside - Gale is such a wonderful partner
Gale is such a considerate boyfriend, and he's funny!!
He'd 100% brag about you and he'd do it when he infodumps on people
Gale "erm actually ☝🤓, my partner..." Dekarios
He really likes when you sleep in his tent with him, or when you lay with him and let him read to you
He doesn't talk about the future with you - as much as he hopes for a future with you, he tries not to think about it too much because you both very well could die trying to defeat the Absolute
But if he's going to die, he wants to die loving you <3333
but to be honest, he does think about it a lot, he just tells himself it's all hypothetical
his thoughts are like this: "I really want to take Tav back home and introduce them to Tara and mother... THEORETICALLY ☝️☝️"
"HYPOTHETICALLY ☝️!☝️!.... i wonder if Tav would want a ring when I propose"
he just thinks that on the off-chance that you guys survive, maybe he should be prepared
Gale's the type to be like "my love, it's been exactly 93 days since you first agreed to be mine <333"
when you guys get to the city he WILL celebrate your 100th day of being together by taking you somewhere nice :))
Marriage:
okay this is going to be controversial..... but I like the way Gale proposes in-game
it very much feels like an accident, because he probably didn't mean to propose when he said "as a new member of the Dekarios clan" but it just kind of slipped out when he was asking you want to settle down with him
He considers you to be his family, and his asking you that question might've just been to see if you felt the same way
it does seem very Gale for something like that to just kind of happen, so despite the haters, I think it's very cute and very endearing, and I'm kEEPING IT
whether you return to Waterdeep with him or relocate somewhere else together, you get married within 6 months after defeating the Absolute
despite him saying "the Dekarios clan" (and despite popular headcanon), his family is very small - consisting of himself, his mother, and Tara
I'm a subscriber to the headcanon saying that Gale is an only child who grew up without a father and that any other family is spread all throughout Faerun, so he's not particularly close with any of them
so when you agree to marry him, he's so beyond happy at the thought of you joining his family
and perhaps the idea of growing it with you ("Gale as a dad headcanons" coming soon if that's something you're interested in)
he LOVES referring to you as his wife/husband/spouse, and before you guys get married he LOVES introducing you as his fiance!!!
it literally makes his heart jump
"my wife/husband/spouse" this, "my wife/husband/spouse" that
just like when you two were dating, he'd talk about you constantly
no one, not even his students are safe from him rambling about his spouse
taking last names isn't much of a thing in D&D and Forgotten Realms lore unless you're dealing with nobility (most common people don't even have surnames)
BUT THIS IS MY HOUSE (I'm literally a DM irl and I'm about to say fuck canon)
so if taking his last name is something you want to do, do it and he'll have a fucking heart attack
honestly, he'll even take yours if you want him to
he thinks it's romantic okay !!!!!! anyways
Gale organizes something every single year to celebrate your anniversary, and he'll never stop
on your anniversaries, he'll dedicate as much of his day to you as he can (lowkey he might take off of work)
he'll wake you up with breakfast (and maybe other things...), take you out for an activity or two during the day, and then some years he'll take you to dinner, and other years he'll make dinner for you (unless you have a strong preference for one or the other)
and then end the night with a romantic, candlelit bath, more intimacy, and really good sleep
I love the idea of married sex with Gale, guys - it's like just being married gets him off
Gale brings a sort of 'missionary sex with the lights on' vibe to the marriage that some readers don't really like
unless you're happy with that (and how could you not be), you'll definitely have to be the driving force in changing things up in the bedroom once you guys are married
Domesticity:
OKOKOK the meat and potatoes of this fucking post
Gale REEKS of domesticity
he does not need the Crown of Karsus when he is already the King of Acts of Service
(nsfw content implied) this headcanon of mine still keeps me up at night
during the events of the game, he will do literally anything he can to make your life easier
the reason he started cooking for the group every night is just because he wanted to take that burden off of you.... and quite frankly he knows he's good at it.... but MOSTLY because he wanted to take the burden off of you!
when you start regularly sleeping in his tent with him, he will start keeping an extra pair of camp clothes in there for you, and an extra bed roll
he takes on the role of alchemist, making healing potions for you and anything else that you might need
when you're in pain, he finds a way to modify Burning Hands or Cone of Cold so that he can direct small amounts of it to his hands and then places them on any aches and pains you have (menstruators! rejoice!!)
After the events of the game, once you two are home (wherever that may be), he takes care of most of the household chores unless you beat him to it
He does the grocery shopping, he cooks all of the meals, he does all of the repairs and maintenance, makes the bed every morning, does your laundry (or sends it out to be done), does yard work or gardening, ALL OF IT
you're like how tf does this man have time to beat me to all of the chores AND work a JOB !?
he has to remind you that he's a wizard and can just cast spells that do things like that, including mage hand
but the fact he even takes any care in doing such tasks for you is just the sweetest shit on the planet
he also loves to run soothing baths for you, and will always join you if you ask him to
if he doesn't have to be up early he will bring you breakfast in bed
he leaves little notes around for you to find, some of them have puns on them but most of them say how much he loves you
*1.6k words later* SEND POST !!
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greg-montgomery · 4 days
Note
Hi bestieeeeee <333 I’ve had this thought for a while but I thought I’d share it and yell at you about it
Hotch being your gym crush 😫 like season 10/11 Hotch. When everyone noticed his suits fit him better 🤭
You just watch him from afar and he’s so yummy because he’s not like any gym bro. He’s clearly a dilf who takes care of his mind and body by going to the gym and 😫😫😫😫 he gets all sweaty and his chest heaving in and out, panting when he gets out of the threadmill (bc we know he’s a cardio guy *wink wink* and oh you wish you’d do some other type of cardio with him 🫣)
bestie hiiii!!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻
ahhhh beefy hotch 😫😫😮‍💨😮‍💨
okay okay! he usually goes to the gym pretty early in the morning so he can go to work after. and…it was love at first sight for you 🤭 you’re used to 1. creepy dudes who stare at you and make you uncomfortable and 2. guys who only want to flex and brag 🙄 and then he walks in <3
he’s older than all of them, mature, quiet, and minds his own business 🤩 he usually wears headphones and doesn’t really talk to anyone. and he’s soooo handsome your heart goes crazy and it’s not bc you’re on the treadmill 🤭
he’s so mysterious and you can’t stop staring at him </3 plus he’s sooo tall and big and perfect <333 you just wanna bite his arms and his stomach and his thighs and his chest 😮‍💨😮‍💨 but he’s a respectful king 😣🙏🏻 so at first you think he doesn’t like you bc he hasn’t been giving you any attention (it was love at first sight for him too but he doesn’t wanna make you uncomfortable)
but there are so many ways you could get together!! maybe you go very early like he does so there aren’t many people there and you can start a conversation easier 🤭 maybe a guy is annoying you and aaron steps in and tells him to fuck off <3333 or maybe you get dizzy or something bc of an intense workout and he’s the closest person near you so he helps you and then buys you something to eat and a bottle of juice and he’s super worried and caring 🥺
one thing is for sure tho, you find your way to each other 🥹🥹 and ofc all this hard training pays off bc when you participate in another version of cardio you keep it up all night long 😎
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ddejavvu · 7 months
Note
cockwarming with anakin! Do you think he’s the one that gives in and starts thrusting or is he patient and teasing, rubbing your back gently until you beg for more.
send me dirty anakin thoughts <33
this post is 18+, minors dni.
depends!! if we're thinking more desperate/lovestruck ani (think AOTC vibes), then he'd definitely move first. he really gives it his all, he's trying so hard not to give in, but the temptation of your tight cunt slowly drooling around his cock is too much for him, and he just has to fuck up into your hole. he'll stutter and stammer out apologies and excuses and expletives as he grabs your hips and helps you bounce on his cock while his own hips thrust up into you, and if you tease him for being so desperate he might just bury his face in your neck and drool all over you <3
the dude can't handle it for more than a few minutes tops, unless you've milked an orgasm out of him already and you both come down from your highs while he's still inside you. if you're cockwarming post-orgasm instead of pre-orgasm he'll go into this mindblown, lovey, mushy state where he's just gonna kiss you (read: suck on your lips/tongue) and whimper praises and lovey dovey mushy gushy stuff to you about how much he adores you and how good you feel around him and how much of his cum your cunt was able to take <333
but.
if we're talking about more confident/cocky anakin, think ROTS vibes, i think he'd be able to hold out. he's stronger, more in tune with himself, and he can suppress his urges if it means he'll get a better reward in the end. he's able to control himself so that he doesn't immediately jackhammer into your weeping cunt, instead he indulges in your wet mouth instead to distract himself and relishes in the way his tongue makes you squirm on his lap as he drags it tantalizingly heavily and forcefully around your mouth <3
in that scenario, you're gonna be the one to break first 99% of the time. typically he'll indulge you right away, as long as you're the one that asks first, and he'll drag your hips up and down over his lap so that you don't even have to do the work. he'll fuck you on his dick, just relax <3
but sometimes when he's feeling extra cheeky or strong he'll make you beg, he'll brag about how he's okay, he's content where you are now, he doesn't need anything more yet. so you're left writhing and squirming on his lap and sucking at his neck and chest pleading with him to move his hips because it's just not as good when you have to do it all yourself </3333
then he'll indulge you. and it's a good thing you finally begged, too, because his dick's rock hard and if he had to spend another minute restraining himself from bruising your cervix with it he was going to combust. prepare for a very very intense night :)))
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idyllic-affections · 8 months
Note
i’m in love with the kaveh disaster dad au you have and i would love to see alhaitham becoming closer with kavehs kid. like mr stoic over there having no idea where those books and supplies about that very niche thing they were talking about yesterday came from
newfound fondness.
summary. alhaitham grows a little more fond of the orphan kaveh insisted on adopting.
trigger & content warnings. no applicable warnings.
tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. alhaitham & child!reader. 0.9k words. they/them pronouns for reader.
author's thoughts. hello dear <3333 i really needed a shorter request to write bc all of my other requests are a bit more lengthy and i'm in just a little bit of a burnout state so i am delighted by this request. i love my adoptive dad kaveh series...... i also realize now that i don't really talk too much about alhaitham and his relationship with [name] compared to how often i talk about tighnari and kaveh's relationship with them. also cyno???? i have neglected him too??????
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at first, alhaitham wasn't keen on bonding with kaveh's adopted child; a child would only disrupt the comfortable life he has both built for himself and worked so hard to maintain. of course... he ended up being wrong. terribly wrong.
all throughout [name]'s first few months of being integrated into their new family in sumeru, they don't spend much time—if any at all—in kaveh and alhaitham's shared house. most of their time is spend in gandharva ville or in sumeru city, the latter being either on the weekends with kaveh or throughout the week with tighnari (if he happens to need something from the city and decides to let them tag along). given this fact, it's not at all a surprise that they didn't really know much of alhaitham, aside from the casual mentions of him from their other sumeru family members.
later on, as kaveh slowly grows into the vacant father role in their life, filling the empty space, they start spending weekends at his house... which is really the scribe's house, but at the time, that detail meant nothing to them. alhaitham never bothers to correct them, either. it doesn't really matter.
sometimes kaveh has to run errands and doesn't want to take them out in the glaring midday sun; they didn't grow up in sumeru, and they're already having a hard time adjusting to the heat (not that he's any better at handling it), so he doesn't want to risk exposing them to the sun at the peak of the day. sometimes he has to go meet one of his clients for a consultation and can't take them with him. who knows? either way, kaveh always makes these trips as quick as possible. his weekends belong to no-one but his kid. his clients find his doting behavior very cute, thankfully, so he hardly ever takes long.
alhaitham is always home during these occurrences (kaveh forbids him from leaving, since he wouldn't so much as dream of leaving his child home alone at such a young and vulnerable age—not that the scribe would leave them home alone, but still). naturally, this led to unavoidable meetings.
alhaitham quickly picked up on the many odd behavioral patterns kaveh's child displayed.
they were quiet—with him, at least. they were happy and expressive like most other children their age with kaveh or tighnari or collei, but with him? they never said a word, only speaking when spoken to, quietly shuffling around the house without so much as a peep... but more importantly, he sure as hell noticed the way they'd peek around the wall and shyly watch him as he read. they never got closer than that, though, and they'd run off if they realized he had seen them. based on this, he simply came to the conclusion that they were shy.
...or anxious, he supposes, but there is a vast difference between anxiety and shyness, and what he sees in them is not necessarily anxiety.
eventually, he does get sick of it. it's not like he worried about coming off as intimidating, no. it's just that if [name] maintains a poor image of him, it would eventually be an inconvenience for him. yes, yes, that was all. he just needed to kill a potentially dangerous rumor at its source before it got vastly out of hand. that's all.
"come here."
the way he sounds when he beckons them over is admittedly a little harsher than what he meant to be, so he's very much glad that they still do come over to him, timidly fidgeting with their sleeves.
"since you seem so interested... sit down, i'll read to you."
"h— huh? really?"
"hurry up before i change my mind."
as alhaitham reads to them, he points out words they may not understand and explains what they mean, also going as far as to help them pronounce some words that they mentioned having trouble with back at gandharva ville.
"oh... tighnari showed me that word, but i can't get it right."
they also can't pronounce tighnari's name correctly, which makes alhaitham's lips quirk upwards ever so slightly.
"here... i'll show you. which word is it that you're having trouble with?"
though it is something of a tutoring session, alhaitham finds that there's something... calming about it. he doesn't bother moving them away as they gradually get closer, only adjusting to accommodate them.
he also doesn't say anything when their weight falls a little heavier on his chest.
...did they really feel safe enough to fall asleep, just like that? the thought makes a fond warmth spread in his chest. he has no intention of telling kaveh or anyone else, though.
kaveh comes home later to see his child curled up asleep in the scribe's arms.
(the second he points it out, which of course he does, alhaitham's cheeks flush a slight pink and he coughs, telling kaveh to come get his kid and claiming that they wouldn't leave him alone.
the architect has never rolled his eyes harder than he did at that.
alhaitham's newfound fondness is obvious, but kaveh decides to leave it alone for now.)
from then on, they are just as excited and bubbly when they see alhaitham as they are when they see any of their other family. he's even gotten accustomed to hoisting them up, balancing them on his hip, and just... carrying them around.
oh, and alhaitham has no idea where those hobby supplies came from. he's got no clue where those books on a hyper-specific topic that they mentioned offhandedly the other day came from. he has no clue. none in the slightest.
...
maybe alhaitham is a little soft for them. just a little.
please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!
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averytirednerd · 2 months
Text
Oh yeah, time for a big rant about Hazbin Hotel!!!
I haven’t really had much of a chance to sit down and write about this since I watched the episodes, so things I say are probably going to reflect what others have said. I’m just writing this to gush about the things I love about some particular songs in HH. 
I didn’t have any big expectations going into the first episode, because I’d mostly heard negative reviews of the show so far. I had heard that the songs, however, were bright spots, so I really looked out for the songs and listened in every time we were graced with one. The characters are truly the best versions of themselves whenever there’s a song going on, even if they aren’t the main focus of the song. It’s amazing to see, especially since my favorite thing about this show is the characters themselves.
My favorites are “Loser, Baby” & “Stayed Gone” and will probably be the main focus of this post because <3333
“Stayed Gone” is sung by Christian Borle (Vox) and Amir Talai (Alastor) and I could not be happier about it. Their voices are amazing here, and my favorite bits of this song are on repeat in my head.
I also love little visuals like the mug Vox has in the talk show format, the scrolling text in the news show format, or Vox’s error message toward the end of their bantering. 
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(The scrolling text says: “I’m totally not worried about this guy and neither should you be. I totally wrecked his sh*t last time he tried me.”)
Alastor really gets under Vox’s skin and it makes me kick my feet every time. Their dynamic truly is everything, and I’m so excited we got this song that showcases it perfectly. 
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He clearly enjoys it too, what a little jerk.
Speaking of these two, Vox definitely had/has a thing for Al at some point, right? I mean…inviting him to the Vees for a start. Not to mention just the v i b e s. Poor guy though, it’s definitely one-sided.
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I love Al’s use of…modern…lingo. Truly a spectacle. That on top of it being a reveal of Al’s rejection to Vox’s offer 💀 I love this man <333
Last thing about this song, promise, but also I love the casual little lore drops and more pieces to the puzzle of the past that we get. Very exciting! Can’t wait to see how everything fits together once we find more pieces.
Okay okay, moving on. “Loser, Baby” is amazing musically as well as visually. 
First things first, I LOVE JAZZ OMG AND IT FITS HUSK’S VIBE AND EVERYTHING SO PERFECTLY???
Keith David’s voice definitely fits Husk in my eyes now, I see it, it works. He’s amazing. Does a fantastic job.
Not to mention Blake Roman’s performance was, of course, incredible as well. 
The big, upbeat, brassy sound in this song is amazing and I’m loving the trumpet in it especially (any fellow trumpet players? no?)
I love everything about this song. The visuals, voices, instrumentals, lyrics, message, all of it!
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Husk slowly going from “yeah you kinda suck lmao, but so do I” in order to not make Angel feel like he’s not being genuine, to sneaking in a better message of “we’re not perfect but it’s okay, don’t be so hard on yourself” (and getting Angel to believe/go along with it too!!) is amazing. It’s a perfect example of these characters being the best versions of themselves during musical numbers. 
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This song is what solidified Husk as number 2 in my rankings (and I’m sure I’m not the only one). I mean…just look at the way he moves, it’s so silly.
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(We’re going to ignore the Videoshop watermarks, okay?)
Overall, I’m loving this show so far despite some obvious issues with pacing n such and an overall rocky start. Especially loving the songs, which I think kinda make the show rn. 
If anyone wants to add anything (because I definitely didn’t cover a whole lot, just surface level stuff because even this took a while to type out) then please feel free to! Also ask me any questions you’ve got for me concerning stuff that has/will happen(ed) in Hazbin Hotel. I love HH discourse!
Thanks to those of you who read all the way through, sorry for such a long post lol <3
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jjkeverlast · 1 year
Text
bloodline | jjk #1
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-> pairing fuckboy!jk x fuckgirl!f.reader
-> genres/aus slow burn, friends with benefits au, smut, humor, angst and college au
-> summary a relationship was the last thing you wanted, but having wild and experimenting sex? now that was something, and jeon jungkook is there to give you simply that. as long as either catch feelings... but that won't be hard for you knowing you'd never go for a guy like jungkook, although jungkook might have another opinion about you. let the (fun) begin!
-> warnings swearing, mentions of sex, drunk!jk, dirty talk, dry humping, cum eating, fingering, oral (f. receiving), face riding, overstimulation :)
-> word count 3.2k
-> author's note i'm baaaaackkkkk :))) also, big thanks to my love @here4btsfics for guiding me through the smut. i love you kelly you're amazinggggg <3333
masterlist for bloodline
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‘’So, it’s just sex between you?’’ Your roommate Cho-Hee questions after she’s accidentally caught you and Jungkook fucking on the couch. It was your fault for overseeing her schedule that was cleared out the day you decided to invite him over. 
“Yes.” Without a question you answer, Jungkook puts on his sweater behind you as Cho-Hee stands in question in the open kitchen. 
“You know… that never works right?” You love Cho-Hee. She’s an amazing friend who in reality just wants what’s best for you and will fight for you whenever she can. It was her way of showing she cares for you by asking. This explains why you didn’t get offended and throw a fit over the cliche question whenever two casually hooking up get interrogated by friends. 
“It’s under control. Jungkook literally fucks anything with a pulse and I can hardly see myself in a relationship.” You’d never try and excuse that this will never happen, there’s a chance but it’s not very highly between you two. If there were such a big risk, you’d never hook up with Jungkook in the first place. 
The off putting friends with benefits situation you had with Jungkook only started a few weeks ago. He caught your eye at the frat party Hoseok invited you to. He wasn’t exactly a stranger to you. You heard a thing or two about his fuckboy status and his astounding skills in bed — explains why he carries the title so proudly. 
When you first hooked up, Jungkook was surprised by how different you were. You drove him on edge constantly, savoring up every minute of the pleasure that developed between you. To say you were a drug for Jungkook was an understatement. You were more, yet you didn’t need to know that. 
‘’Well… I’m leaving. I’ll call you.’’ With a peck on the cheek, Jungkook says a quick bye to Cho-Hee before the door closes and it’s just the both of you. 
‘’He literally–’’ Cho-Hee starts off, you barely noticed the display of affection he did before leaving. 
‘’What?’’ 
‘’Nothing. Want to order some take out?’’ Since that day, Cho-Hee never brought up your relationship with Jungkook on the table. 
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It turned quiet in your apartment, Cho-Hee was studying for a test tomorrow and you were scrolling on TikTok to let a few hours pass by. Your screen gets interrupted by a call. Well that was definitely early. 
‘’Jungkook?’’ There’s a lot of noise surrounding him, so you hardly hear him through the mic. 
‘’Y/N? Can you hear me now?’’ The ruckus clears out and Jungkook’s voice cuts through it. 
‘’Yeah, what’s up?’’ You’ve brought the phone to your ear, sighing as you find a comfortable position to lay in. 
‘’Wanna fuck?’’ You can’t help but snort when he says it, covering your mouth — scared to interrupt the focus Cho-Hee has gained on her studies. Jungkook is most likely drunk at this moment and horny, very fucking horny. 
‘’Why are you laughing? I’m serious, I wanna fuck you.’’ You depress your snorting, trying to take his drunken state seriously. It makes it a lot funnier when you’re the sober one. 
‘’Who says you’re fucking me?’’ Jungkook knew you were a switch, well more a person who’d be down for almost anything. Did that scare him? Yes. Did it turn him on? Also yes. 
‘’Shut up. Now can I come over or not?’’ He really did not like to waste his time on small talk with you. It’s not that you aren’t interesting as a person, his dick just speaks before him and right now? He desperately wants to be inside of you. 
‘’Cho-Hee is studying…’’ You start off, earning a groan from Jungkook not being pleased by your answer. You have a lot of respect for your roommate and vise versa, the least you can do is keep your crazy hookups away from Cho-Hee as much as possible. The reason also being she caught you not even a few hours ago, she still needs to recover from that. 
‘’And? She knows either way, so what’s the problem?’’ He’s determined to be in between your legs tonight. 
‘’The problem is she needs complete silence. Silence never works for us Jungkook.’’ You can picture the smirk plastered on his face when you admitted that the sex is too good, which explains the noise following right after. 
‘’I can just hold my hand over your mouth. Easy fix.’’ He’s proud of his solution but you roll your eyes, wondering how you’ll get it to his head that there’s no sex tonight. 
‘’Jungkook– I really can’t. Isn’t there someone else at the party that you can take home?’’ It turns silent on the other side of the line. That feels odd, also because you never agreed to be exclusive. Jungkook is a free man. 
‘’They aren’t you.’’ The alcohol is speaking for Jungkook and you know that. You always found the saying ‘drunk words are sober thoughts’ utter bullshit. You’ve blurted out all kinds of nonsense when you’ve been drunk which have never meant anything. In this way, Jungkook’s sentence means nothing to you. 
‘’Jung–’’ Cho-Hee knocks on your door, startling you which causes you to hang up. 
‘’Oh- sorry! I was just gonna tell you that I’m going to Taehyung’s now.’’ You can already see for yourself Jungkook’s smile when he receives the news that he actually will get pussy tonight. 
‘’That’s fine, say hi to Tae from me.’’ Cho-Hee gives you one last smile, leaving you to go see her boyfriend. 
You realize you haven’t called Jungkook back and before you get the chance to, Cho-Hee shouts to you from the front door. With a quick strut, you find Jungkook with a worried expression and Cho-Hee trying to suppress a laugh. 
‘’Um–’’ 
‘’I thought something happened.’’ Cho-Hee sends you a knowing look from afar, which you quickly shut down not wanting her to get the wrong idea of Jungkook being worried. 
‘’Well. That’s my cue to leave.’’ She grabs her coat, closing the door behind her while you stand in your sloppy pajama look. 
‘’Jungkook, what the fuck?’’ You aren’t exactly pleased with him arriving at your place without a warning. Thankfully Cho-Hee already made plans with Taehyung or you’d have a lot of explaining to do. 
‘’Let’s fuck baby.’’ He almost crashes onto you, the hard liquor breath fanning above you and your face twists in disgust. He reeks of alcohol. 
‘’You’re way too drunk.’’ You grab ahold of Jungkook’s shoulders to lift the weight he decided to throw on you late at night. 
He can roughly stand on his own two feet, bringing you to baby him to bed. Which, yes, was not part of your weird deal. Still, you can’t let him go home from here in this state and it’s not because he’s unknown to your bed. 
With a few struggles you managed to get Jungkook out of his clothes and tucked under the sheets. He was getting way too excited when you went down to unbutton his pants as he already laid flat on your bed. The duvet crinkled as he moved around, as if he was a child doing a snow angel. 
‘’I thought you were gonna suck my dick. What a tease you are…’’ He pouts when you join him under the covers. If only the baby could stop talking and sober up.
‘’I’ll suck you off when you’re sober.’’ Jungkook leaves it at that, snores already escaping him as he falls asleep. 
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You don’t know what time it is when Jungkook pulls you in by the waist, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck. It’s not that action that stirs you awake, it’s what’s poking your ass when you lean into him. 
‘’Please tell me you’re awake.’’ He whispers softly. You don’t give him a direct answer, pressing your ass further against him. 
‘’I’ll take that as a yes.’’ His warm hand roams on your thigh, soothing it out and taking his time in enjoying what’s in front of him. You hum in delight, his hand inching closer towards your core. 
‘’Are you sober?’’ You want to make sure, never wanting to take advantage of Jungkook in an intoxicated state. With a low chuckle, he bites your earlobe and whispers a yes. That’s good enough for you. You let Jungkook touch you how he pleases, admiring your curves and the softness that meets the palm of his hand. 
You’re not impatient, seeing you fucked him earlier before Cho-Hee walked in, screaming as she quickly covered her eyes begging you both to dress up. It was comical, maybe not for her but Jungkook bit his lip trying to regain the upcoming snort that was about to leave him when he saw how traumatized Cho-Hee looked. 
Jungkook moves his hand further down, tracing his delicate fingers above the fabric. You tense under his touch, his breath still landing hot on the nape of your neck. The slow build of intimacy reaching your bedroom. 
It doesn’t really help how horny you’re getting, all while Jungkook’s dick is poking your ass from behind. With a slow movement, you grind your ass back, Jungkook groaning from your visible greadiness. How can you not be? Not only is he fucking hot but having his cock inside of you? Nothing beats that. 
‘’Listen. I love you going slow right now, but can you just fuck me?’’ He hasn’t even touched you, his fingers resting on the waistband of your thong. You don’t exactly know what’s gotten you so needy. Maybe it’s the fact you can feel everything yet he isn’t touching you as expected. Wasn’t he desperate to fuck you a few hours ago? What happened to that? 
‘’Listen, I have plans on my own. Lay still.’’ You cock an eyebrow in surprise. Since when does Jungkook have a plan on how to please you? 
With a sigh, you don’t move, letting Jungkook have his way with you. His hand starts to explore again, finally gaining the courage to reach underneath your thong which has started to stick to your heat. 
A gentle press of his fingers against your slit and your mouth drops. A breathless moan escapes you when Jungkook runs the pad of his middle finger between your lips, parting them slightly. 
‘’You’re so wet…’’ A kiss is added right beneath your ear, the soft touch of Jungkook’s lips making you lean more into him — if it’s even possible at this point — earning a hiss from him as he gets worked up on how you effortlessly give yourself to him. 
‘’Stay still. You’re gonna drive me insane before I even get to fuck you.’’ You smile at his words, commanding to his request. 
He returns to fingering you, bucking his hips into you from behind to excite you of what awaits. He loves seeing you like this, lips parted as your eyebrows furrow over the pleasure building up within you. The pleasure he’s causing. If only you could see how adorable you looked in such a hot position. His fingers covered in your arousal, your ass pushed up on him to get some sort of friction which he isn’t willing to give right now. No, Jungkook loves seeing you become a mess for him, to the point where you take control yourself and guide him inside of you. But that’s not what happens. You turn. 
Jungkook is still cupping your sex under the fabric, until you take a hold of his wrist guiding it towards your mouth. The room is dark, mostly. Jungkook is incapable of seeing your lips wrap around them, swirling the edges as you taste yourself. You’re unbelievable. 
When you release his fingers from your mouth, Jungkook curses under his breath before he brings you in for a heated kiss. You don’t hesitate to wrap your free arm around his neck, playing with the ends of his hair as his tongue slips in to meet yours. 
Kisses with Jungkook always drive you to a breaking point. There’s something so addicting about the way he kisses you that your body reacts before you. You’ve let your clothed core grind over his cock that has fully hardened under his briefs. 
‘’Take them off.’’ You say in a hurry, moving your mouth further down to Jungkook’s neck. His weakness. It’s the first moan that slips out from him when you’ve swirled your tongue as your lips peck and bite at his soft skin. 
Jungkook struggles to get his boxers off, when you’ve decided now is the perfect time to give him neck kisses. You’ve learned to perfect them since you both started hooking up, it’s definitely worth it when moans simply slip out of him. 
A rough pull from Jungkook brings you back to face him and that’s when you notice he’s managed to get his boxers off while you were too busy with his delicate neck. 
‘’Fucking finally.’’ You reach your hand down to feel it but Jungkook stops you. 
‘’Wha–’’ He pulls one of your legs over his waist, positioning his cock above the material of your thong. That shuts you up, starting to enjoy the anticipation of having him inside of you. Sure, you’d rather want it now but it’s fun going along with Jungkook’s ideas. Maybe that explains the exciting sex life you’ve created between the two of you as time passed. 
He makes it more difficult for you not to push yourself down on his cock when he decides to push your panties aside and grind his cock in between your soaked lips. The tip adding pressure to your clit as he presses it on purpose. He knows you love it. 
‘’Jungkook, fuck!’’ The sensation you’re feeling becomes overwhelming, as you clutch onto him he admits he’s teased you enough. Aiming his tip now at your center, you await patiently before you feel it. His cock stretches you out the more he bucks his hips forward, as you sigh in satisfaction of getting what you’ve wanted since he’s pulled you in. 
‘’Fuck you’re so tight pretty girl.’’ Pretty girl. A nickname Jungkook only uses in bed with you. It always gives you the same feeling; tingling sensations running around as goosebumps rise on your skin. You never felt special because of the nickname he used on you. It just felt good to be called something. 
‘’Please–’’ 
Jungkook obliges, creating motion in his hips, his cock now entering and leaving you. The room is too engulfed by darkness for you to admire the alluring view beneath you both. You’re already turning warm and hot, the covers still tucked to both your chins. Jungkook’s pants land hot against your lips, his movements quickening as you tug yourself closer. 
‘’I might not – shit – last long.’’ Jungkook admits, his pace never slowing down as you let yourself go, fully immersed by the wave of pleasure that’s slowly appearing. 
‘’It’s okay. You can come.’’ You meet his hips halfway, working up an orgasm for you both before you suffocate yourself from heat. Jungkook doesn’t stop holding you close to him, his sleeve colored arm under your t-shirt, holding his hand tight on your naked body. 
If only Jungkook could hear how exceptional his moans were when he’s buried inside of you. You’ll never grow tired of the on going curse words and strangled sounds he makes whenever you drive him on edge and fuck him instead. 
The sounds are muffled under the duvet of your skins slapping against one another. Jungkook’s cock starts to twitch, signaling he’s not going to last much longer but you continue regardless, lifting yourself in a quicker motion to feel every inch of him before dropping down again and meeting the base of his cock. 
‘’Fuck, don’t stop.’’ Jungkook’s grip tightens, letting you fuck yourself on him at a quick pace and with a quick motion, he pushes himself all the way in, poking at your g-spot as he finishes inside of you. You can only feel it twitch right after, humming in delight as Jungkook tries to catch his breath. 
‘’Wish I could stay buried in your pussy, forever.’’ You snort at his compliment, finding the word ‘forever’ super childish coming from a fuckboy. He’s oddly soft, maybe that’s just his demeanor in bed. 
Even though you haven’t finished yourself, you’re content. But Jungkook isn’t. 
He turns you both around, your body now hovering above him, wearing a worried expression. ‘’What are you doing?’’ He doesn’t answer you, giving you a hidden smirk before he swiftly pulls you by the thighs, your pussy mere inches from his face. 
‘’Don’t be shy baby, sit on my face.’’ You want to, but you also want him to beg for it. 
‘’Say pleas–’’ Jungkook lifts his head, tongue now running flat on your slit. It makes you loosen your legs, pulling yourself down to feel more of his mouth. It’s no lie that Jungkook knows how to eat pussy. His tongue and lips could go on for hours, sucking, biting, nibbling your clit along with your hole. 
You’re getting dizzy by the warm feeling of his tongue, circling on your clit for a good minute now. Your hips start to grind on his face, helping him get his mouth anywhere possible as your fingers go down to grip his loose strands of hair. The grip tightens and Jungkook moans against your heat, sending a shockwave of pleasure caused by the vibrations. You’re close. 
Jungkook loves having you like this. Using him to make yourself come all over him. He decides to bite your clit gently, knowing it’ll be the last push for your orgasm. He was right, you tense above him, finally releasing and covering half of his chin. You’re overly sensitive after coming back from your high, Jungkook panting beneath you to catch some air. 
‘’That was–’’ You start to laugh, releasing your grip on Jungkook’s hair as you lift your hips up, to roll over and catch your breath. Jungkook’s grip tightens once again, bringing your wet slit, once again in front of his mouth. 
‘’Who said I was done?’’ 
‘’Jungkook I don’t–’’ 
‘’One more. You can do it.’’ With a slow exhale from your part, Jungkook goes back kissing you all over, starting with your inner thighs and working towards your heat for one last time. 
 You feel lightheaded at this point, not having time to process your first orgasm. Jungkook is cautious, knowing you’re overly sensitive but he wants to make you cum again. If he could, he’d continue till you barely could stand. Not only because you look so pretty when you finish, but the fact that it’s his doing. He is the one turning you heated, dizzy, breathless… 
With a simple lick on your clit, you’re already drowning in pleasure once more and letting go. Your legs are somewhat shaky from your second orgasm and with a small kiss to your clit from Jungkook, he helps you lay back down on your back. 
‘’Give me a minute.’’ Your chest is rising at a rapid pace as you inhale and exhale. Body warm and heated, you find sudden peace and calm yourself as Jungkook watches you smile. 
It’s a win for him. 
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© jjkeverlast 2022 [do not copy, translate or repost any of my works.]
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jakeyt · 8 months
Text
Covet: Chapter 6
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Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader
Covet Summary:
Life was good. No, life was great. 
Was. 
Until.
Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.
You welcomed him into your life—your home. 
Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. 
Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.
At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.
Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); smutty smutty smut; talk of Reader's anxiety; drunkenness; New Girl spoilers (if you’ve never watched the show and don’t wanna know things!); absent parent thoughts; heavy petting; oral sex f!receiving; fingering; oral sex m!receiving; unprotected p in v sex; spanking (hehe); Reader is stubborn; Jake is stubborn (if i missed any that may have triggered you, please let me know!!)
Chapter Word Count: 24.5k+ (damn. i'm v sorry lmao)
Covet Masterlist
a/n: welllll, after summer school (that shit really took it out of me), one vacation w my whole fam, two gvf shows with my sis @joshym, an extended vaca in nash (bc we just HAD to!!), and INSANE writer's block....... HERE IS CHAPTER 6! finally! i'm insanely sorry it took so damn long. thank you all for being the fkn B E S T and so understanding and the best gresties/readers a girl could ask for! <3333 ("heart eyes, motherfucker" - that's how i feel about u all :) (also if u remember that vine, ily even more now))
i hope you enjoyyyy ;)
-🌼🌼🌼-
At the beginning of July, you were stacking a shipment of some blues records in a bin at work, your mind in a blank space, which naturally moved you to think of the one person who was seemingly always at the back of your mind.
Jake.
He’d really just taken up residence in your brain, as he had in your home.
He was still on his shit. You know, acting like a pouting child, barely acknowledging you. Even after you’d literally bared yourself to him, pussy out, nipples pebbled in the open air. . . 
You blew a breath through your lips, and tucked hair behind both ears, readjusting your thought process. 
Now he seemed set on only acting like an ass after your time in the cramped bathroom had been cut short. Before, he’d taken the time to still seek you out. After the incident in your bedroom bedroom, he’d literally shown up at the B&G, begging you to come see him.
Were you just not worth it to him anymore?
You rolled your eyes to yourself, focusing on stuffing records in the bin alphabetically. 
It. Didn’t. Matter. He didn’t matter.
Really.
And you knew he didn’t matter because it wasn’t hard for you when you finally decided to play into his behavior—his little game. You didn’t stop yourself when you started to match his energy. It was easy to act as though you didn’t care about him. 
Because you didn’t. 
All you really needed was to satisfy that itch and then—then, you’d be good. 
But as you came across a re-release of a Howlin’ Wolf record, you suddenly became slightly disheartened at the thought of it all. What if this wasn’t a game for him? What if he was actually so upset that he just decided you weren’t worth it? Would you ever get as close as you had at the gig again? Did he still want you like he had in the bathroom that night? Or in your bed the night before Baby’s?
You shivered as you (once again) thought of his hardened dick pressed up against your leg. You could hear his voice, low and sultry.
“That’s what you do to me.” 
Fuck. Did you still do that to him? You hoped so.
Then there was the feeling of him pressing into you, your bare ass on the cold ceramic of the sink, leaning your body into him, craving more—so close. 
God.
You frustratedly groaned and shoved the vinyl in its place and shook your head. It didn’t matter. Really. But you couldn’t help your heart falling at the idea of him not wanting you like you wanted him. 
All you could do was hope that he still wanted it—wanted you, like he had before. 
-🌼🌼🌼-
You'd also started July deciding that in order to keep some sense of dignity, it would be best to not go see Jake perform. Especially if it was possible he’d completely closed himself off the idea of you. 
It was humiliating to be a try hard.
You would distance yourself from that part of his life, if he was going to ignore you and distance himself in your shared home. 
Did you want to see him play again? Hell freakin’ yes. It had been such an intimate experience that first night. You’d felt so privileged to witness it the way you had then, up close to share his emotions as he played, holding his eyes almost any time he’d looked up at you. You’d been taking in every flick of his fingers, every thrust into the back of his guitar, the concentration on his sweaty face . . . and he’d wanted you to watch. He’d wanted you there, in that moment, with him.
You could still see him clear as day, tanned skin glowing in the B&G, his eyes golden in the evening sun, pleading with you. . .
“I really want you there.”
When you’d gone to their last shows in June, all you wanted was to feel that way again. Connected to him. Close to him. You wanted it so badly—but it seemed he didn’t want it anymore. He hadn’t looked at you once during any of the shows. To be fair, you had been standing so far towards the back that it’s possible he hadn’t even known you were there. But, he hadn’t even tried to seek you out to ask you to come like he had before (if it really was possible he thought you weren’t there). 
Things were just different than before. 
So, yeah. It was best that you didn’t go. You didn’t want to seem desperate or possibly annoy him with your presence just in case he did see you at a show. You’d made up your mind that it was obvious he didn’t want you there. He wanted things like they currently were. 
And it wasn’t so much that it hurt to have him act so aloof and absent and uncaring. It didn’t hurt. Really. You’d tried to convince yourself that he was just making you angry. Nothing more.
So, you just continued to play his game however well you could. It wasn’t that important. 
Though, any time he left the apartment, looking deliciously ready for a performance, all you wanted to do was follow. But instead, all you’d actually do was look at him from wherever he passed you in the apartment. You’d glare at him, matching his pissy behavior as long as he continued to show it. 
But you’d eventually noticed that his eyes weren’t always holding irritation when he passed you. . .sometimes, you could have sworn his eyes held more longing than anything. 
Although, as soon as you’d think you saw it, he was already gone. And you would eventually decide that you’d imagined it.
You couldn’t stop yourself from wondering if it was possible that underneath his moodiness he did still want you?
All you wanted was to understand what he was feeling. 
-🌼🌼🌼-
So, after not going to their shows for the first couple weeks of July, Josh had finally reached out on the night of one, asking if you’d come because he ‘missed seeing you’.
You initially wanted to send a text back that said: ‘No, sorry. Your brother sucks and I’m mad at him right now. And if I go all I’ll want to do is fuck him senseless after watching him play, even though he probably doesn’t want that at all. So, I have to decline.’ 
But, then you guiltily started thinking of how you needed to support your best friend and the other two guys. It was incredibly rude of you to not go see Josh, Sam, and Danny do their thing simply because Jake was a pain in the ass that you couldn’t figure out. 
You wanted to support your friends. Support Josh.
So that’s why you ended up texting an ‘Of course! What time?’ in response. 
And as you got ready that night, you pulled on a cropped Cream T-shirt, thinking momentarily of your roommate. Would he like it if he saw it? Or would it piss him off?
Pushing it out of your mind, you focused on how excited you were now, the idea of getting to see them live again. 
The guys put on a helluva show; they were absolutely magnificent, so magnetic. 
Once you felt totally ready to go, you secured an Uber to pick you up, already planning to have a few drinks to ease your mind at the show.
As you put your shoes on, you thought. . . The thing that made you most excited really wasn’t seeing the band perform again as a whole. It wasn’t even the thought of seeing Josh. It was getting to simply be near Jake again, pathetic as it may sound. And the thought of seeing him play again. . . Fuck. Watching him was so enticing. He was like a drug. . .always drawing you in.
There was no denying the way your stomach fluttered at the thought of watching him perform again. Because even though he was pissing you off and you had no earthly clue how in the hell he was feeling, watching him perform was unlike any adrenaline rush you’d ever experienced. 
(Save for the feeling of your blood pumping erratically at the feeling of him tucked between your legs. That was a feeling unlike anything else.)
-🌼🌼🌼-
Like you had at shows before, you sat at the back to witness the performance. 
It had been great, per usual. Jake had left you wanting him from your seat. And just like it had been at the shows in June, he never failed to make you feel incredibly stupid for stopping things in the bathroom the night of their first show. 
Yet now, while they performed their encore, you hadn’t left the venue like you normally did. You hadn’t tried to get the hell out of dodge. 
No, tonight, you stood at the outdoor bar area connected to the back of the venue. It was set in a huge space covered in bright green turf, a small patio with a couple of tables, and plenty of Edison bulb string lights to set the cool mood of the place. 
There were even a couple of ping pong tables and a cornhole game set up for people to play at. A random sporting event was drawing in a few college-aged men, on a giant flat screen TV.
Although, unlike those men, it wasn’t your choice to be hanging out in the open area. You had wanted to avert to your normal plan of leaving to go home with a quick ‘proud of you!’ text to Josh. 
You wanted to avoid Jake seeing you at all costs. But Josh had inadvertently seen to it that you wouldn’t get away with that plan again.
He’d apparently caught onto your little trick. Before you could begin to type a text, and before they’d even come out for their encore, Josh had sent a text. Or three. 
Josh, 10:23 p.m.: Don’t you dare leave.
Josh, 10:23 p.m.: I really want to see you and give you a hug 
Josh, 10:24 p.m.: I don’t see you nearly enough these days and I miss you dearly and I really want to have just one drink with you after the show. Pleeeeaaaase
So, here you were, outside before the set even totally ended, standing at the bar, downing another lemon drop to calm your nerves. You really just wanted to be home, with Stevie snoring against your calves. 
You were not totally ready to be in the same area as Jake for an extended amount of time.
You were just asking for your another beer when you felt someone sidle up beside you. The nudge against your shoulder, and the familiar hint of patchouli in his cologne, made you grin at your best friend.
“One salty dog for me,” Josh said as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders. After a nod, the bartender went to get his drink ready, and he turned you fully into him to give you a big hug. 
It felt so safe. . . but you couldn’t help the feeling of wanting to be this close to Jake instead.
When you pulled away, you momentarily closed your eyes, collecting your thoughts. When you opened them, you watched as he placed an elbow on the bar and a hand on his hip. His eyebrow went up. 
“Great job tonight. I’m so prou—.”
“Why haven’t you let me know your anxiety’s been flaring up again?” He interrupted, obviously worried.
You blinked once. What? “What?”
“Last month, you kept fleeing before I could even take a breath after a set. I figured you were just trying to get some sleep with your summer classes starting. But then you just stopped coming altogether,” he scooted in closer to you. His voice got lower, his eyes concerned. “I just wanted to put eyes on you. I’ve been so busy; I haven’t had time to check on you like normal. My schedule is shit. I figured this would be a way for me to see you and make sure you’re doing alright,” he continued, reaching his hand up to lightly rub your shoulder. “It came later this time. I expected it to get bad at the end of May, but it never came. What’s going on? Are you okay? Are you eating?”
Your cheeks pinkened. With your concern for avoiding Jake at these gigs, you hadn’t even taken time to think about how your behavior might have worried Josh. Of course he’d been thinking deeply about your absence. He cared so much for you, and was a sole confidant on multiple occasions of your depression induced anxiety flare-ups. And, to be fair, being flighty usually signaled the beginning of your bigger bouts with your superb anxiety-depression combo.  
You’d had a few times in your friendship where it had gotten really bad. Definitely a trauma response, almost always coming with a change in season. For some reason, the change in leaves, flowers blooming — it always made you think of just how much your mom had broken you. You didn’t get to appreciate the beauty without it being tainted by darkness. Your mother's leaving had come right at the turn of fall into winter. 
There had been a few times after Elsie left when it got so bad that Josh’d insisted he stay with you. With your sister around, he wouldn’t always stay the night when it hit you, but he’d check on you at work, and hover with texts, food, and quality time until he felt you were better.
But this had nothing to do with your mother. And really, your anxiety wasn’t bad. Jake wasn’t causing you anxiety for you at all right now. You didn’t know what you were feeling. Were you on edge around Jake at all times? Yes. But it wasn’t anxiety. It definitely wasn’t depression. Sadness that he could possibly not want you, yes. But it wasn’t something dark like the thought your mother might bring. You didn’t know what it was. 
You just knew you had to reassure Josh.
“I’m okay,” you looked into his eyes and reached out to hold his hand on the bar. “Yes, I’m eating. I’m just—feeling a lot right now? I don’t know. It’s weird,” you shook your head and removed your hand to tuck some hair behind your ear. How could you explain this to him? You couldn’t. “Just a lot going on in my head.” 
He studied you, squinted his eyes. “Is there something I should know about?” He questioned, his voice getting crisper as he tried to make pieces click. Your stomach dropped. “You’re being vague. You’re sure it’s not—?”
“No,” you shut your eyes, huffing a frustrated breath. “Yes. I’m—it’s just—I don’t know.” Improvise, improvise, improvise. “When Elsie was in town, we talked about my mom. I’ve just been in my feelings, I guess. And, yeah, summer classes have started and that’s added some pressure, too. But it’s not anxiety or depression or anything,” you connected eyes with him again, and reached to squeeze his hand. “I promise.”
He still didn’t seem convinced. You weren’t surprised. He was an empath after all. He shouldn’t be convinced. He knew better than to believe that was all it was. But you didn’t want him knowing any better than an assumption in his head. And as long as the assumption didn’t have anything to do with his brother, you were okay with whatever he was assuming. And, you being in a weird headspace because of your mom wasn’t a lie. You truly had been. He’d even witnessed it at the coffee shop. 
It just wasn’t the whole truth. The biggest thing was something he absolutely couldn’t know: the way your mind had been swarmed with Jake, Jake, Jake for the past months. And it’d only gotten worse with the past couple . . .events.
The thought of Josh catching on to anything about his brother continued to make you fearful of him possibly being cross with you over it. Or worse, made you fear him feeling betrayed by you. You didn’t want him upset or thinking poorly of you for possibly distracting Jake in any way. 
You couldn't be to Jake what his ex had been. And you feared Josh’s mind would go to that immediately—out of protection for his brother. Rightfully so.
His eyes settled back to normal, accepting your answer for the time being. His eyes curved down with understanding. “I saw you watching that girl and her mom at the coffee shop. I should’ve known.”
All you could do was nod. You didn’t know what more to say to cover your ass. 
You cleared your throat, signaling you were ready for a change of topic. “Enough about me. How are you feeling about all of these amazing shows, rockstar?”
He grinned wide, letting his worries go as a drink landed in front of him. 
And in no time, things were like they’d always been. 
Just you and Josh, not a lingering thought for Jake’s moods as you let yourself listen to his twin’s many thoughts and feelings of this new life of his.
You just had to try your best to ignore the way your heart leapt in your chest at any mention of Jake’s name in a story.
-🌼🌼🌼-
Jake’s POV
I wasn’t prepared for the sight of her as I walked out onto the back area of the establishment. 
And fuck it all, if she wasn’t the first thing my eyes found in that slightly crowded space. It would be impossible for her not to be—she was most definitely the most gorgeous woman I’d ever seen. 
But my heart immediately dropped when it registered that she was holding Josh’s hand, talking animatedly with him. It would be stupid for me to assume she’d come for anyone else but him. 
I had thought for sure that she’d been interested—wanted me—that night at Baby’s All Right. She’d said so much the night before that —her being so open with me at our home, right before we’d kissed for the first time in the hallway. 
Then, that night at Baby’s. . .I’d been so close to her, feeling her swollen pussy, still wet from my mouth, on the head of my cock. The way her body had thrummed around me. . .making my body need more. 
But just before I was inside of her, she’d heard my brother and her mind had gone immediately to him. Only caring what he thought. 
I didn’t know what to think about what they had between them. It was very possible that they were just friends—best friends. I knew that was likely the case. 
(And if I were thinking reasonably—it was definitely the case from how Josh talked about her sister.)
But my ways of reasonable thinking had been shot to shit these days. 
I’d been burned by assuming something similar in the past. The whole “just friends” thing was a cover I wasn't too fond of. Thanks to the woman I’d loved in the past, my trust was shot and I had become a primarily “glass half empty” thinker. My past had bit me in the fuckin’ ass. 
But y/n—she made me feel electric again—full of life. She was the most beautiful symbol of a fresh start. A fresh start I’d been craving—a feeling I’d been chasing for years. 
I truly hadn’t felt so full of possibility since I was 16. Even when we’d bicker, I felt this glimmer of hope for my life. . . She was a natural light. 
I just wanted her so bad, going dizzy at the sight of her . . . And that was a feeling I hadn’t ever felt with any other woman. My brain was almost always fuzzy when she was near. 
She was absolutely breathtaking, every movement she made that had her hair flowing in slow motion around her head, the way her eyes hooded when it was just the two of us. . . but even better, the way her eyes shined, so bright, all the time. She was positively heaven sent. 
And I’d be an idiot to think she’d want me more than my brother—who she’d known for years, who she was instantly drawn to at all times. They had natural chemistry. Anyone with two eyes could see it. 
She deserved a light that matched her own. Could I capture that light? Yes, I knew I could. But I’d been so terrible to her from the get-go; I wouldn’t blame her gravitating towards Josh—feeling safer with him. 
Like he always said, he was the sun, and I was the moon. I naturally came with darkness. I’d made it clear enough by acting like an asshole for the first portion of my time living with her. 
People who knew me knew I was notoriously terrible at reacting to hurt. I didn’t naturally know how to handle my emotions like Josh was practically born knowing to do. 
And the moment I laid eyes on her that first night at the apartment—when she’d opened the door. . .her hair falling against her sweet face, her eyes opening to show me the most beautiful color I’d ever seen. I knew then that I was a goner. 
But it’d seemed to be terrible timing at that instant. Feeling so drawn to her—it was coming right after I’d had the biggest life change. My heart was hurting—not necessarily broken, just . . . lost.
And I didn’t want her to be involved in the hopeless sea I’d been drowning in since my past troubles had come crashing down around me. 
Though, when I’d first seen her, standing there, the evening sun hitting her stunning face in her doorway— I felt like all of the pirates I loved to study. I’d found a hidden treasure I couldn’t even imagine could be so beautiful— just around the bend for so long, finally in my grasp. 
But I hadn’t known her. I hadn’t even met her. She was a treasure that wasn't mine to enjoy.
And I truly needed to heal, without bringing someone else down with me. I was scared of all I was feeling, and I only knew to react with bluntness, rudeness, irritation at every fucking turn. I’d even brought girls to bed to try to get her the fuck out of my mind. 
But it never happened. She was persistently there, in my everyday routine, in the eyes of the girls I'd mindlessly fuck. She'd sealed a sweet spot in my brain. 
But I’d still kept up with the douchebag act.
It was so unfair.
She’d tried so hard to be friendly, and I never greeted it well. I hadn’t known what to make of it all. That first night, Josh had said we were the same. Though, as he’d said this, I’d been watching her—so peaceful and beautiful, deep in a surely dreamful sleep. 
It’d instantly made my stomach dip when he said it. . . I knew well enough that she couldn’t be the same as me. 
But she was the same as Josh—pure, unadulterated bright, yellow sunshine. She was the sun on a spring day, flowers blooming and the grasses so green. Not a cloud in sight. 
But I was the cloud in her flawless sky. I’d been reminded of that when she’d stopped us at Baby's, saying she didn’t want Josh to know. It seemed she didn’t want to take a chance on people knowing we’d been so close.
I could only assume she didn’t want that darkness in her life, and I didn’t blame her. 
So I’d separated myself from her.
After that night, when Josh had told me of her being at our other gigs in June, I’d brushed it off. I knew why she was there—for Josh. I hadn’t even tried to seek her out because I knew that wasn’t what she wanted. She didn’t want me near her. Didn’t want people to know how close we had been. 
How well her body shaped to mine in secret— and it was just that: a secret she wanted kept. 
Especially wanted it kept from Josh. To him, she wanted us to be strictly roommates. So that’s what I’d decided I’d be for her. 
I’d wanted to ask her to come to shows after our little stint, but I fought the urge every time it came on. I wanted her there, I fed off of her energy—she made me play better. But, I didn’t want to rub her the wrong way after she’d put her foot down in the bathroom. I didn’t want to come off too strong. 
I’d also given my best attempt to not let my feelings show in the past weeks. It had been so hard anytime I’d meet her beautiful eyes. Her eyes that, over the past week, had seemed to turn from something hopeful when she looked my way to what could only be called disdain —disdain for me.
I had been an asshole, and she was better than that . . . 
But, still, all I wanted was her. I wanted to take back everything I’d said or done out of hurt, due to not knowing how to handle my mess of feelings. 
I wished I could go back to day one and make things different. I wished I could go back in time to stop myself from becoming a slab of stone to cope with my feelings. If I would have just been myself. . . Maybe I’d have her now— ever-endearing and enrapturing.
Fuck. And as I watched her tousle Josh’s hair, I just wanted to feel her fingers in mine again. My heart twinged with jealousy at the action.
“Look who’s here!” 
Sam’s loud voice snapped me out of my reverie. I continued to watch her, her smile widened at Sam’s voice, looking in his direction, and away from Josh. Then, without warning, she looked over to me as I was still studying her face—the way her full lips stretched to show her beautiful beam. 
But as soon as she looked at me, her smile fell. And all I wanted in that moment was for her smile to get bigger when she saw me, just as it had when she saw Sam.
I just wanted her. 
I decided at that moment, I was going to bite the bullet. I could make one more move to be close to her again. And if there was one moment where she acted as if she didn’t want it, I’d back off. 
But right now? I couldn’t see that happening. Couldn't see her backing off. She didn’t pull her eyes from mine, and I never let my gaze fall from hers. She held me with her stare, and I held her with mine. 
It was just us.
And as I came up on her other side, opposite Josh, she never broke eye contact with me, turning from my twin. And even as Sam and Danny traveled behind me, she only looked at me. 
I watched her chest rise and fall, the swell of her breasts making my mouth run dry from where they peeked out at the makeshift tear at the top of her shirt. The sugary sweet smell of her perfume made all of my senses lurch forward, wanting to take her—all of her— right at that moment.  
I was close enough to see the shine from the Edison bulbs around us, reflecting in her irises. 
Daniel and Sam came up to give her hugs, honestly acting completely oblivious to what was transpiring between us. Josh was chatting it up with the bartender, asking if he heard us from out here. 
And finally, they all left to go play ping pong. They’d offered for us to go play, but she hadn’t even acknowledged them talking. I waved them off, and looked at them with a shake of my head. I felt her eyes continue to pore over me as she let me do the work to get them to leave. 
Then, y/n and I were in our own world, I placed my forearm on the bar, my body curving to be around hers of its own accord. She followed by turning her whole body to face mine. It felt natural as she leaned into where I stood. She wasn’t quite touching me, but she let her own body follow all of my movements. 
I couldn’t help but feel my chest puff as she let her body move with mine as I matched her, moving in time with her. I was the dull moth and she was the bright, alluring flame.
I wondered if it felt as seamless for her as it did for me, she sat her elbow on the bar, and leaned her hip against a stool. She went to sit on top of it, but she struggled with her footing, so I let my instincts take control and I helped her onto it. However I could help her, I wanted to. 
I also wanted nothing more than to touch her, so that seemed like the perfect opportunity to kill two birds with one stone. 
The gasp she released when I touched her, and lifted her the slightest bit to help her situate on the glittery plastic top of the stool, combined with the way her legs spread the slightest bit, her black jean shorts showing so much of her sweet, sun-kissed thighs—it made all of my blood rush through me and to a throbbing halt at the head of my cock.
I wanted to cross my legs to make sure it wouldn’t show what she was doing to me. But she was so magnetic, I couldn’t help the last step I took, towards the stool, to be closer to her. I was so close that my thighs touched her knees. Her knees, which she then crossed, in the process grazing the zipper of my jeans. 
My breath caught in my chest, and my dick pulsed. She was still looking down at where she’d touched me, so I knew she saw what I felt happening in my pants. 
She shot me a look, questioning all of this. And all I could do was look down at her, letting my eyes sweep over her entire outfit. So simple, yet so lovely, as always. She was wearing a cropped band tee (Cream. Fuck—did she do that on purpose?) and those cut off black denim shorts, with her black-colored toenails showing in a pair of cheap black flip flops. 
I swallowed hard, feeling so entranced by her. My gaze went back to her face, the most appealing part of the woman. Her face was so open, so kind, so pretty—it had done nothing but draw me in since day one. And being so close to her again, I saw the familiar dusting of a few lighter freckles that dotted her nose. She was smiling—her eyes were smiling— at me. 
Somehow it seemed she knew exactly what was going through my mind. Crazy how we’d been avoiding each other for the past couple of weeks, but now just clicked back together as if we were back at Baby’s All Right—in the cramped space of that bathroom.
I looked into her bright eyes, feeling something overwhelming come to life in my chest. 
Fucking hell. She was perfect.
I needed this. I needed to feel this with her again. I’d missed it. The closeness.
“Hi,” I said with a nod, just loud enough for her ears to hear. 
She blinked once, her eyes wide and wondering. Fuck. She was so damn cute. 
Then, I watched fondly as her dimples showed in her cheeks with a soft grin. “Hi.”
End of Jake’s POV
-🌼🌼🌼-
It had been a decent amount of time since Jake had come up to stand right next to you, completely ruining any chance for sanity on your end. 
He’d acted so normal, so forward. His actions were exactly what you’d needed to feel relieved—to know that all was okay. 
You’d gotten nervous being around him, like Elsie would say, you were pretty sure you had a ‘good ‘ol crush.’ Nothing more. You focused on complimenting the set when you’d talked, asking simple questions, just to hear his voice explain the same things Josh already had. The raspiness in his tone was just delicious, and you wanted to hear the small things from his perspective more than anyone else’s.
When you weren’t listening to him talk, you pretended to be interested in the game on the flat screen—you had no clue what they were doing on the field, but it was distracting you from how sweaty your palms were getting at Jake being so close.
Though, you were now several beers (and a couple margaritas) in, previously deciding you wanted to make this night like old times where you’d get drunk and have fun with the guys. The boys’d come up to you a few times in your precious time being next to Jake. They’d bump you with a shoulder as they grabbed a drink. . . Josh only coming by once or twice, having been the chosen one to hold off, as he was the DD.
And, per usual, Sammy had chosen a game that would supposedly be much more fun, completely inebriated: ‘drunk ping pong.’ 
“Like normal ping pong, except you’re drunk!” Sam had excitedly said, his signature cackle following his words. He was right there with you on the 'shitface scale'.
Jake had barely left your side all night, and it felt so right to be so close to him, to stay with him. It felt right, just like it had before, except this time, it had nothing to do with anything sexual. . .it was just his simple presence that made you feel good. 
(You weren't going to talk about how you'd felt his dick twitch in his tight jeans. . .because holy fuck. Your panties had been the victim when that had happened.)
By the middle of the ping pong game, you were still drinking. You felt light in the head, completely carefree. You even caught yourself leaning into Jake a few times, the two of you deciding to be a team against Sammy and Danny. Josh preferred being the referee for the game, getting a chance to nonstop talk by narrating the entire game.
At one point, you knew you were leaning back into him, but you were far too gone to care. You’d purposefully pressed your ass against his crotch, and he’d patiently repositioned you. You were grateful for him being so aware, because you knew you’d regret it in the morning if something stupid happened in front of your friends. You just couldn’t control your actions like a sober-you normally could. 
You were in a body that was moving on its own, your brain barely registering what you’d do.
He’d repeatedly asked if you were doing alright, and you’d get so lost in his chocolate gaze you could only breathe a ‘yes’ in response. 
And, now, as you settled into a booth inside the establishment, it was nearing 1 a.m., and you were simply listening to the guys talk about their next performance. And as you had been all night, you were next to Jake. 
At this point, you were cuddled up next to him more than anything else. You felt so cozy with him. His body was a warm furnace for yours. You were sitting in a way that none of the other guys could see what you were doing. Because of them not seeing your bottom half, you situated a leg over his thigh, comfortably draping it the best you could to make it look as inconspicuous as possible (while simultaneously being incredibly drunk). 
But you could barely worry about it when you leaned your head on his shoulder. You were sleepy. And he was warm, right, and close. 
And he smelled so fucking good. Hints of sage and vanilla overwhelmed your senses, mixed with sweat. . .it was the perfect mixture that helped to lull you to sleep, along with the calming vibration of his voice as he talked with his brothers, your head laying on his shoulder perfectly placed for the melodic sound waves from his voice. 
And right before you dozed off, you felt one of his calloused hands lay on your thigh, warm on your cooled skin. You snuggled into him, a small smile finding its way to your lips.
-🌼🌼🌼-
Before you knew it, the same hand was squeezing your thigh, urging you to wake up.
“Y/n. . .let’s go home,” his voice softly said, his minty breath hitting your face. Home. As your eyes wedged open, you looked up at him to find the apples of his cheeks redden with a deep laugh as he reacted to something Josh said.
If only you could just kiss him - right then and there.
You were still too out of it to register what Josh was saying, but you noticed the other three standing around the booth, Jake securely next to you still. 
Your tummy fluttered at him being so attentive to you, and continued on that way as he helped you climb out (or rather squeak out of the booth, your bare thighs making racket against the seat). 
“Y/n. . .,” Sam started, his voice way too high for him to be requesting your name for anything too serious. And still, you looked up at him as you finally edged your way to the very end of the red booth. “Did you fart?!”
The rest of the guys started chuckling with him, and you couldn’t help but join in as you went to punch his scrawny chest. “Shut the fuck up, you fucker.”
Danny whooped, beating a fist in the air. He started leading the way out of the bar. As you all followed, he turned to catch your eye briefly. “Y/n. . . coming in with some nasty ass insults tonight,” he laughed. “You’re killing it, Baby Dragon.”
“Haven't heard that one for a hot damn second,” Josh remarked, right behind Danny, waiting to hold the door open for you, Jake, and Sam. “Baby Dragon.”
Jake looked at you and Sam curiously, wanting an in on the nickname. 
“Baby Dragon?” He questioned, taking the door from Josh to let you into the dark night, under his lifted arm. 
“Game of Thrones,” was Sammy’s explanation, as he started teetering on his feet, balancing himself on the ledge of the sidewalk to keep himself busy. “Baby dragons.”
You could tell he was still wondering why, so you tried to extend Sam’s drunken response with your own woozy one. “I’m a baby dragon.”
Well, that made no damn sense, you thought, giggling to yourself.
The guys started busting up laughing, Jake still dipping his eyebrows in at you, a smile playing on his full lips. He was watching your every motion, continuing as you looped your arm with Sammy, trying to balance with him.
Josh continued, more lucid than either of you. “We watched Game of Thrones week after week at our apartment for about a year. . . binged it together,” he nodded his head toward you, smirking. “One of y/n’s favorite ways to bond is with a good television show. And she had been dying for us to watch it with her. So, we did.”
The curly headed twin then laughed at you and Sammy as you both nearly fell, making the same ridiculous sound as you almost went down. Sam thankfully recovered in time, even with his feet slippery in his Birkenstocks. He held you close to him. It made you laugh even harder as he playfully checked you for bumps and bruises. 
“We deemed her Baby Dragon,” Danny finished.  
Jake nodded, but he still wanted more information, looking left out. You also noticed him looking as though he’d discovered something. And then it clicked that Josh had exposed a bonding tactic of yours. You slapped your forehead, your reactions still slow, even after your nap, where you had snoozed off the tiniest bit of alcohol. 
“Josh!” You scolded him, way past time. You still made no sense, randomly saying his name— you knew this. 
But, the more Josh looked at you dubiously, you thought you’d leave it at that. You didn’t need to correct him for saying anything. Because, well, it really wasn’t that big of a deal, the more you thought of it. Maybe you were okay with Jake knowing you’d used TV to bond with him. 
In this state, you could plainly admit that you wanted him to know your heart—all of your intentions. And you wanted to tell him all of your desires. . . Show him, even. You were craving him, especially after being so close with him all night. It felt nice. 
You looked up to observe him at that moment, but he was checking his phone, his eyebrows crinkled. He looked up from it, clicking it closed and glancing to the street to see a car rolling up.  
“Your Uber AWAITS!” Sam declared, motioning to the car that had pulled up to the curb, the black and white Uber sign in the corner of the window to confirm his words. 
“Jake, you need to get a damn car,” Josh noted, opening the back door for you. “I’m tired of being your chauffeur. And Uber is going to get tired of you soon, too,” He caught your eye and winked, nodding over to your roommate. “Y/n, I’m thinking it’s your turn to cart Jake around everywhere he goes.”
You approached the nice little silver car, rolling your eyes at Josh, but still giving him a hug as you came up next to him. “Love you, Joshy,” you leaned in, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 
“I’m not taking any car advice from you, Mister Clunkerfuck,” he commented plainly. It made you burst out with laughter. “Your car is on its last fuckin’ leg. It’s going to break down on you at the worst possible moment and I’m not going to feel bad. I think you’re the one who needs to get a car—a new one.”
Sam started drunkenly singing a track you hadn’t heard that included the lyrics ‘you’re the one’. His actions were dramatic, only Danny paid him any mind, starting to sing with him, being just as goofy. 
You were still thinking of what Jake had said. It was exactly how you thought of Josh’s car.
“Clunkerfuck,” you smiled in Jake’s direction. Though, when you caught his eye, he looked a little downcast, you just couldn’t pin why. Maybe you were seeing it, all dazed out. “Good one, Jakey.”
Jakey? It did register in time that you’d called him that, and you were instantly embarrassed by your nickname for him. Too far. So, you hurriedly got in the car, your cheeks flushing as you haphazardly yelled goodbyes to the other guys. 
“Nighty night, Baby Dragon,” Josh had said with a laugh, calling you the nickname once more, closing the door behind you. You’d honestly forgotten about the nickname. . .it had been so long since they’d used it. 
Before you knew it, Jake was scooting into the passenger seat to offer an address to the driver. 
He doesn’t want to sit next to me? You thought, sadly. But he chose to be close to me the rest of the night. . . Why not now?
You tried not to look too disappointed on the outside as he was back to ignoring you for the twenty minute drive back to your place. He paid you no mind, and didn’t even care to check on you like he had all night, on the ride back. 
You weren’t able to give it much thought as you looked at the GPS and reasoned you could get a good nap in on the way home. Drinking always made you feel so tired. 
You laid your head against the cooled window next to you. Jake’s naturally husky (fucking sexy) tone as he spoke to the driver, was the last thing you heard semi-coherently. 
You let the car sway you to sleep for the last 10-ish minutes of the drive back, only one handsome man, with long hair and a voice that dripped of sex, waiting behind your lids as they closed. 
-🌼🌼🌼-
You were still feeling loopy as Jake helped you up the stairs to the apartment. 
You’d had way too much to drink. You needed sleep. 
Once you entered the apartment, it was so quiet and dark. . .you needed light. So, you felt against the wall to switch the light on. But, you instantly regretted it, covering your eyes with both hands. 
“My eyes!” You yelped, way too dramatically. And when you peeked through your fingers, you saw Jake stooped down, next to Stevie’s dish, giving her a scoop of food. She nudged her little gray head against his hand. Your heart squeezed at the sight. But it was still too bright. “My eyes!”
With two hands still covering your eyes, you sauntered, on unsteady foot in front of the other, back towards the switch you’d used to flip the lights on. 
But before you could get to the switch, you knocked into a chair, sending you back onto your ass. Yet again, dramatically.
“Ow!” You moved a hand from your eyes to massage your sore butt, and as you did, you saw Jake moving to switch the lights off. You were once again cloaked in darkness, but he turned the lamp on closest to him. You sighed, your ass not hurting as much as you’d imagined it had. Now you only cared about the lights, how perfectly dimmed the room was. “Ahhh. . .Much better.”
Your lids were drooping again, and you were not looking forward to getting back up on wobbly feet to make the trek to your bedroom. 
Deciding the floor was a comfy enough bed for the night, you laid back, curling onto your side, your hands under your left cheek to make a pillow. 
-🌼🌼🌼-
Jake’s POV
Her eyes slid closed. I watched her, a small grin on my face. So adorable. 
But, she was so gone. I felt bad appreciating her being so cute while she was so incoherent. 
So instead of taking advantage, I’d taken it upon myself to watch over her and make sure she was alright all night. I kept my drinking to a minimum so I could keep a careful eye on her.
We’d spent the whole night together, enjoying each other’s company (even if she had been slightly—very—drunk). It’d felt so right. 
My heart had beat at being like that with her in a similar way it did when we’d watch New Girl together. But, it was different tonight. Instead of only sitting on a couch, we’d been together, walking around, playing, her willingly (albeit drunkenly) falling asleep on my shoulder, a smooth leg draped over mine (holy fuck, by the way). 
We hadn’t really gotten the chance to talk a whole lot, thanks to my brothers demanding our attention. The only talking we had partaken in had been very little. And it’d only been about what she’d thought of the set, little questions she had for me. We’d mostly just taken time to be next to each other. 
For me, it’d felt like coming back home.
I had just watched her as she watched the game on a TV in front of us (didn’t peg her as a girl who liked sports, but whatever), occasionally looking over at me to share a secret smile, making my skin hot with want for her. 
I’d hoped, sitting there on those barstools, that she’d felt it with me—the whole cheesy ass ‘coming home’ thing. 
But then, having to stand there and watch her kiss Josh on the cheek at the end of the night . . .that had been a kick in the fuckin’ ass. I’d literally felt my heart sink in my chest as I watched them, their respective energies feeding off of the other so well. . . they were practically one. 
He’d even helped her into the car, once again calling her that ‘baby dragon’ thing that I couldn’t understand at all. I couldn’t understand her the way he could—the way all of the guys could. I hadn’t been around to get to know her with the rest of them. I wasn’t in sync with her like they were—like Josh was. 
I was late to the game. Probably too late. 
Though, when we got home, I still wanted to help her with a few small things . . . It was impossible for me not to try and help her (even if she didn’t fit as well with me as she did my brother).
And at this moment, I could tell that she was going to let herself sleep on the floor. 
But I wasn’t going to let that happen. 
Bending down next to her beautiful body, I couldn’t help but bite my lip when I saw her round ass peeking out from the bottom of her shorts. She was filled out in all of the right places—an absolute fucking masterpiece. 
Then I heard a little whimper in her sleep. A sigh, as she probably started slipping into dreamland. I felt my dick harden just the slightest bit when I thought of hearing those same whimpers through the walls. . . how she’d said my name in her sleep a few times — moaned it, even. . . Off in her dreams where I could have only hoped to meet her.
I’d spent many mornings so sexually fucking frustrated with how close, yet so far she was. So many times—I was there, right next door to her as my name would slip from her lips. And with only a thin wall between us, I’d jerked my cock into a hand I’d imagined was her sweet pussy, having to bite my lip to keep from saying her name.
Fuck. I palmed at my crotch, willing my dick to soften. Now was not the time.
I touched her shoulder, nudging her a bit. “Y/n. . .come on, wake up. You don’t wanna sleep on the floor.”
She sighed again, “Yes, I do,” she retorted. 
And then she moaned as she snuggled further into the carpet. Her moan. Fuck. She was like a damn good drug. 
“No, you don’t,” I scooped my hands under her back, ready to carry her to bed. “I’ll carry you if you don’t move yourself. Come on.”
I saw her lids flutter, eyes still closed. A little smirk graced her features. “Carry me, Jakey,” she mused. 
There she was using that nickname for me again, I thought. It sounded so much better, sweeter coming from her lips than I’d ever heard it.
And when I let both of my hands totally slip under her, scooping her into my arms, and against my chest, her eyes blinked open, still slightly hooded. Her eyebrows curved in, the look she was giving me telling me she hadn’t believed I would do it. 
She wiggled, arguing. “Jake. You don’t have to,” wiggle. “Carry,” wiggle. “Me.”
I gripped her a bit tighter, but did give her a chance to climb out of my arms. “I’ll let you walk if you want to,” I continued, letting my guard down with my next words. “But I really like being this close to you. . .feeling you against me.”
When she looked at me again, it was as if she’d totally sobered at what I’d said (even though I knew better). Her eyes were inquiring, but so full of an emotion I couldn’t fully place in that moment. All I knew was her unnamed emotion somehow perfectly matched the thrum of my heart in my chest. 
“Me too.”
And then she looped her arms around my neck, bringing my face down to meet hers, just as we���d made it to her room. 
I couldn’t help it. I let myself give in to her apparent want in that moment, and met her lips with mine. 
End of Jake’s POV
-🌼🌼🌼-
As Jake carried you further into your room, to your bed, you never let your lips leave his. Even as he laid you down on your bed, you kept kissing him.
Yes, you thought. This. This is what I needed. I needed him.
You knew you weren’t totally sober, but when he’d said what he did about liking the feeling of being close to you. . . it had made your heart leap into your throat with joy. Because you’d been hoping he still felt like that. You’d been hoping so hard to hear words like that, that it had kind of snapped you from your drunken daze. 
And having him on top of you, laying his body between your legs that naturally opened to make room for him. . .the feeling was divine.
Having Jake with you, it was more than the alcohol that still lingered in your system. You wished you hadn’t let yourself get so wasted tonight, wished you'd have taken him coming closer to you as a sign to not make tonight ‘like old times’. You realized that you wanted it to be new times—times where Jake was here. Things were different with him around. 
And now that you were so far away from the beginnings of him living with you, seeing him show bits of himself, outside of his shroud, throughout June. . . knowing what his lips tasted like—you could admit that having him around was a good type of different. 
Your mouth opened, needing his tongue to meet yours. As soon as it entered your mouth, you sucked on it, loving the taste, the feeling of it, safe in your mouth. 
Needing to be closer to him, you leaned up the slightest bit. You had to feel your skin against his. Closer, closer.
You separated your mouth from his, your lips wet, probably looking just like his: swollen and pink. 
His eyes were dark, lids hooded, encouraging you. You tugged at his shirt, and he got the idea. Thanks to not buttoning his shirts all the way, he was able to slip his short sleeve floral button down over his head. As he did that, you reached around the hem of your old T-shirt, taking it off. 
But before you could throw it to the side, he reached a hand out to grab it, turning the front of it to face you. The members of Cream, staring at you from the splotch of white on black material.
“Does it get you off?” He questioned, an eyebrow raised. “Turning me on with these little outfits you wear to the shows?” 
You smirked, your eyes hazing with want for him. He’d liked your choice of shirt. It hadn’t irritated him. You had made progress. You weren’t at square one anymore. Thank God.
“You liked it?” You rhetorically asked. “You were all I thought about when I put it on.”
His eyes glazed over, just like your own. He liked that.
He huffed, his mouth forming a grin before leaning down to nip at your lips, throwing the shirt to the side. His hands found your thighs, lifting them around his hips. He sucked your bottom lip, moving his tongue to lick into your mouth, his mouth following yours as you melted into the feeling, needing more. 
You pushed him away again, using the time he was leaned back to take your shorts off. He helped you so you didn’t have to awkwardly wriggle out of them. You flashed your eyes at him, smiling with them. 
Then once they were gone, you sat up fully, legs falling from around his hips, to help him. You messed with the button of his jeans. 
He placed his hand over yours, stopping you. You looked up to question him. And as you did, he was already laying you back down, honed in on the sight of your chest that hadn’t stopped heaving since you’d kissed him. 
“Did you think of me when you put this on?” He pulled at the strap of your bra- the same bralette you’d had on the night you’d first kissed. His eyes looked down at the rest of your body, palms running smoothly up your thighs, and over the curves of your hips, giving them a firm squeeze that made you thrust up towards him. His eyes found yours, completely dark. “Don’t start with that.”
Okay, I will, you thought, ready to tease him.
You moved a leg to be between both of his, bending it at the knee, causing it to rub against his crotch ever so slightly, then you brought it back down to lay beside your other leg, looking up at him, eyes innocent. 
“Oops,” you smirked, watching his own lips quirk. 
But as soon as his mouth lifted, it fell into a frown. His eyes squeezed shut, brows drew in, his jaw suddenly set as he ground his teeth. . . 
He looked . . . Frustrated? 
He started shaking his head and quickly grabbed his shirt, going to get off the bed. 
What the fuck?
It made you sit up again, like you had minutes before, but out of alarm this time. 
“Jake?” You worriedly asked, getting off your bed to follow him, clothes be damned. 
He didn’t respond, only grumbled something under his breath. You couldn’t understand him and you were wondering what in the hell was going on. 
As you followed him out of your room and a few steps to his room at the end of the hallway, you grabbed his arm before he could open the door to his room. 
“What’s going on? Are you—?.”
He roughly shook your hand off of his arm.
“Y/n. Go to bed,” he gruffly said, his next words made your throat tighten up even more than his initial tone. “It was a fucking mistake and you need to leave me alone. Go to bed.”
Your mind was suddenly on high alert, ignoring any kind of lingering effects of alcohol, you swallowed the lump in your throat. 
What the fuck was his fucking problem? 
A mistake? That's what you were?
“Jake. . .,” you went to grab his arm again, but he turned before you could, facing you. His eyes were stern, dark with anger. It stunned you, so opposite of how he’d been all night. You continued on, not letting his reaction to you, deter you, “You don’t. . .,” swallow the tears, y/n. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do,” he confirmed. Your chest tightened, you took a step back. “We can’t keep—just go to bed. Leave me alone.”
Your sadness quickly turned to bitterness. . . spitefulness. All of a sudden, you were extremely aware of your state of undress. You felt completely embarrassed from the rejection. You covered your body the best you could. 
“Fine,” you turned quickly on your heel, needing to get away from him and back to the safety of your bedroom. You were suddenly feeling anxious, upset, and ready to recluse. “Good-fucking-night, Jake. I’ll give you what you want. I’ll leave you the fuck alone.”
“Wait, y/n,” you heard his voice behind you.
But you ignored him, gave him a taste of his own medicine. 
Asshole. Fucking asshole. How could someone change so quickly? Be two different people in the span of minutes-time? He had just been telling you how he liked being close to you, he’d barely left you all night. . . Even approached you at the bar, for seemingly no reason but to simply be with you. 
But now? Now you were a mistake.
Fuck him.
“Y/n. . .please, I’m just—.”
Sharply, you spun to face him once you’d made it to your bedroom. You cut him off. “Fuck you, Jake.” 
You let your emotions reflect with an icy glare in his direction. 
Just before you shut the door to your room, you saw his face, completely crestfallen.
When you got back into bed, you curled up into yourself, and angry tears were your sad lullaby to get to sleep. You tried to be quiet enough so he wouldn’t possibly hear you. 
You’d had enough embarrassment for one night and you didn’t want to give him any more reason to judge you, be angry with you, or worst of all—pity you.
As you fell asleep that night, you couldn’t help but think that his sorrowful expression had matched exactly how you felt. Had he been sad? What gave him the right to be sad when he’d cut it off? Called it a mistake?
You worked to push him as far from your mind as you possibly could. You didn’t want to think of him.
He was impossible to understand. As soon as you thought you had an idea of the man, he changed, confusing the hell out of you. 
You tossed and turned, wondering why you still so desperately wanted to understand him. Why did it still matter? He shouldn’t matter. 
When you finally faded to a restless sleep,  you made the decision that you were going to try your hardest to not give a fucking damn about your roommate. 
You apparently weren’t worth his time, so he shouldn’t be worth yours.
You’d meant what you told him. 
Fuck Jake Kiszka.
-🌼🌼🌼-
As the week faded into the next, you’d made it your personal mission to make it perfectly clear to him that you were not giving him any of your time or attention. 
You used one of his earlier tactics and didn’t come out for anything except to eat, shower, go to work, go to class. You tried to avoid seeing him when you knew he was home, so thankful for the work schedules that still got posted on the fridge. 
He now had the additional schedule which showed when they had performances or practices, giving you a couple nights within that week to laze around the apartment with no worries of running into him. 
Occasionally, he tried to stop you to talk to you as you would pass each other. But you weren’t having it. You would cut him off with a wave, a short ‘no’ or a curt ‘goodbye’ as you left the apartment to do your own thing. 
You wanted to make it clear that you were done with whatever the hell you two had been dancing around for the past month. What he didn’t need to know was that you were mostly doing it to convince yourself that you were done with it. 
In the moments he tried to stop you, you would just get hurt all over again that he seemed to be so desperate to beat the dead fucking horse—explain his hateful words. That was all he could possibly want. What else?
And you didn’t want that.
Why did he seem so intent on stopping you to just explain what a mistake being with you had been?
Drawing a line was imperative.
You had to convince yourself that you didn’t still want him and that you didn’t have several passing thoughts of him throughout your days. 
It was much harder than you’d anticipated. Being your roommate, he was still everywhere you turned. No matter how hard you tried to escape him, he was there. In your shared home, in your thoughts, in conversations with Josh. . .
And in your fucking dreams. 
Several days during that blessed week of ignoring him, you woke up in a sweat wanting only him. Your body was calling out to be touched by him. 
And then you had the weak moments. The ones when you’d accidentally run into him, and you wanted to let your guard down, let him know you were hurting more than anything. You wanted to talk to him— wanted to know where he stood. 
But every time, you'd bit your tongue to stop yourself.
He’d said it himself—you were a mistake. 
So, that’s why you never gave in to the temptation to let him talk, or let him know your own feelings about it all. 
-🌼🌼🌼-
Classes were a great distraction from what was going on in your heart and home.
Being able to dedicate your time to something completely unrelated to your roommate was exactly what you needed.
Spending more time on things like class work meant less time to think about Jake.
Though, it wasn’t necessarily doing what your family had intended it to. They’d wanted you to take a summer class to get your mind focused back on writing, use the class as a chance to get your passion for writing back.
But just as it had been before the summer class, your love—your passion for writing just wasn’t there anymore.
For some reason, when Jake had come into your life, it'd helped you realize for the first time in years, just how important music was to you. He brought out this spark that had faded. Being able to be around someone so often who was on the same page when it came to a passion for the art of music—it had done something impeccable for you. 
(He’d done it unintentionally—unknowingly—, of course, as he’d hated your guts when you’d started feeling that incredible pull towards music again.) 
And then there was the day in your summer class that pieces started clicking in your head. Slight identity crisis, if you may.
It had come to you when you’d been prompted to discuss and write about inspirations for pursuing writing. And in that moment, you’d realized you couldn’t think of any other reason you’d pursued your degree save for you wanting to be just like Elsie. (And the added bonus of your grandfather encouraging against a pursuit in a musical degree- at all costs.)
You’d set your sights on Elsie years ago as your number one role model. Your mother had left you with only your older sister to inspire you. Elsie loved writing, so in turn, you’d decided that you would also love writing. 
It was her dream. And, unfortunately, you were only just now realizing that maybe it wasn’t fully yours, as you embarked on your senior year of college. 
Terrible timing for Jake to enter your life and bring out that flame you’d always had for music. 
Another strange thing that had come along with Jake entering the picture were thoughts of your mother. More than you’d ever really had before. 
Thanks to Elsie having to use your forgotten past to help you have a better understanding  of Jake, your mom had been in more thoughts than you were comfortable with as of late. 
You hated thinking of her. But after that conversation, every time you saw a child with his or her mother, you had this giant burst of longing in your heart that you couldn’t put a name to.
It was truly odd, but the sight brought you this sense of impending healing. 
Were you finally on a path to figuring out who you truly were in the aftermath of her leaving?
You had no clue what the pull on your heart meant. 
All you knew was, there were a lot of changing feelings that were quite different than anything you’d felt in the past several years of your life. In those many years since your mother had left you broken on the porch step at ten years old—you’d simply gone about everything in life in a sort of monotone style. 
Rather than thinking with your heart, you’d just followed a gray wave. You’d never taken a real initiative to understand yourself. The waves of life had carried you, and you’d let them, willingly. 
It had been easier—more comfortable— than actually taking time to think about yourself and what you wanted. 
But Jake. . .he’d been the cause of bringing about the most feelings you’d had since your mother left in her blaze of glory. He’d brought out pieces of you that you hadn’t come in contact with since you were ten years old and vulnerable, screaming and crying for your mom to come back as she left you, broken.
But with the feelings this time, it truly felt more like a yearning to be more. You felt this sense of understanding for yourself that you hadn’t ever had before.
In some backwards way, he was helping you get to know these pieces of yourself you’d kept in the dark for far too long. Pieces that needed time, attention, and love. 
It was fucking weird. 
You didn’t understand the anatomy of it all. 
But you desperately wanted to learn more about these parts of yourself you were discovering.  
-🌼🌼🌼-
In order to push through the class (and your degree), you decided it was a good idea to pair up with a study buddy. 
You needed someone to help motivate you to keep going—finish with a skip in your step, rather than falling into a pitiful slump. 
It’s why you decided to ask Theo to be that person after class one day.
Surely that was a reason he’d floated back into your life. Help you stay motivated to get this degree. You didn’t know. 
And maybe it could be more. . .he would end up assisting to help you get your mind away from Jake. You didn’t need to be distracted by your roommate. 
Everything happens for a reason, after all. And maybe these were Theo’s reasons in your life.
He’d agreed with no hesitation, which had made a giant smile plaster to your face. 
But why, when you were leaving class, had you felt as though something had fallen to the bottom of your gut? 
-🌼🌼🌼-
“Fiction or non?” 
You were splayed out on your bedroom floor, with Theo across from you. As he’d pored over his textbook, he kept coming up with questions to ask you. 
Sure, it might be cute and endearing in a normal circumstance. But right now, you wanted to focus on studying for a couple of upcoming tests, as summer semesters were the worst at moving so damn quickly. 
There were more important matters at hand than nonsensical small talk. 
Deciding to humor him (and hopefully get back to the task at hand), you responded. “Hmm. . .,” you sat up from where you’d been laying on your stomach to read about Geoffrey Chaucer. “They both have special things about them—both stretch our minds to understand more about other worlds and our own,” you paused, giving it a second to ponder. “Are we talking writing-wise or reading-wise?”
He chuckled, and winked at you. “It doesn’t have to be something you think so deeply about,” he closed his textbook. What was he doing? You still had to make flash cards! “Pretend we’re playing a game and it’s rapid fire questions.”
You didn’t want to be playing a game. You wanted to be sinking your teeth into the intricacies of this author in order to ace your test. 
You shook your head, your eyes stuck on his closed book. “Fuck,” you scratched your eyebrow. Your mind flicked to music: fun to write and read about. You were actually currently reading a book about John Lennon. You had many books on your TBR list about famous musicians. A most intriguing subject, in your opinion. “Non-fiction.”
His face scrunched up. “Nah,” he disagreed. “Fiction.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know,” his stare was blank in response. “Don’t really have to think too hard about it.”
You tried not to roll your eyes at him. In your opinion, thinking hard about what you were writing or reading was what made it most desirable. It made you venture into undiscovered realms of your mind. 
When you went to lean back over your book, the movement made you realize just how badly your bladder was begging to be released. 
Stupidly, you thought of the ridiculous work schedule on the fridge. 
Why the hell couldn’t you just let yourself go to the damn bathroom without thinking about Jake? You knew it was fucking ludicrous. You just didn’t want to see him. When you pulled up the picture of the fridge on your phone, you saw you were in the clear. He should still be at band rehearsal. 
You tapped your open book, giving Theo a sign that he needed to open his back up. “I’m going to the bathroom real quick,” you stood up, the wave of having to pee rushing through you tenfold at the motion. He still hadn’t gotten the hint to open up his textbook. Ugh. “I’ll be back soon and then we will make our cards for the test.”
And as you exited the room, you saw him finally get back to business and open his book back up.
-🌼🌼🌼-
You dried your hands on the towel next to the sink, and took a look at yourself in the mirror.
He sort of annoyed you, but Theo was still cute, and he’d made you happy in high school. You weren’t totally opposed to the idea of kissing him (or maybe more) by the end of the night.
It seemed to you to be another good plan to get your mind off of Jake.
And Theo seemed interested enough. Considering he’d been more interested in learning about you, rather than the material for class all night (irritating, but whatever). 
Deciding you looked good enough to return, you opened the door to go back. And as you went to walk out, you stopped at a chest in your way. You got dizzy at the smell—smelled so fucking good—familiar. . .
You looked up.
Jake.
Your eyebrows pinched together, not happy at all that you’d crossed paths. Fucking hell. Why wasn’t he. . .?
“We’ve gotta stop meeting like thi—.”
You held a hand up to silence him, crossing your arms. “Why aren’t you at band practice?” 
Why the fuck was he cracking jokes? You were not in the mood. 
“Ended early,” his face hardened when he shrugged, stating it plainly. 
“Why didn’t you just stay with the guys?” You asked, secretly glad he didn’t. For whatever reason. “You could have hung out with them instead of coming back here.”
“Oh,” he stuck his chin out at the word and leaned a shoulder against the door-hinge. He raised a brow and crossed his arms to mirror you. “I see.”
You definitely didn’t glance at how his bicep flexed as his fingers wrapped around it. And you didn’t take time to appreciate his beautiful hair. . . had it started getting slightly longer? 
You shook your head, retraining your eyes.
“Tell me, Jake, what do you see?” You snapped, flicking your eyes up to his.
He scoffed, rolled his eyes. “Saw that guy lying on your bedroom floor, waiting for you. He was even sweet enough to wave at me when he saw me pass your room,” he sarcastically remarked, waving his hand to mimic. 
“We’re just studying,” you hushed back, feeling the (unnecessary) need to reassure him.
He scoffed. “You think that’s all it is to him?”
You narrowed your eyes and pursed your lips before you pulled him by his T-shirt into the bathroom. You weren’t going to discuss this in a place Theo could possibly hear. 
“I know that’s all it is,” you released his shirt like you were repulsed by the touch, when in reality you wanted nothing more than to pull it completely off of him. Damn him. "Why does it matter?"
“It doesn’t. Just think it’s funny how you’re so naive to believe he doesn’t want more.”
“He doesn’t.” 
“Do you?”
“Why do you care?”
“I don’t. I just think it’s also a little funny that you might want me out just so you can fuck that guy in your bedroom,” he nodded his head in the direction of your room. 
Oh. He was taking it there. Okay.
“Yeah? And if I wanted to?” You jutted your chin out the slightest bit, bringing your arms closer, to press against your chest. “How is it any of your damn business?” 
He stepped once towards you, eyeing your chest, the tops of your breasts revealed, pushed up to the top of your tank. Your skin flushed, heart racing. 
His voice lowered. “It became my business the night you spread your legs for me at Baby’s,” one more step towards you, his eyes locking with yours. Fuck. “When I had you moaning my name while my mouth played between your pretty legs,” another step. “I think you gave yourself away that night. I don’t buy this little act.”
Oh. 
Fuck. . . If your heart wasn’t racing. 
You blinked, shaking your head. You tried to stand firm. “Wh-what act?” Dammit. Why were you stuttering? 
Stand your ground, y/n, you thought, motivating yourself to stay strong. 
But as he took one more step in, your body was effectively once again trapped between his body and a sink. Thankfully, he hadn’t pressed himself up to your front, so you weren’t distracted by that. 
You tried to hold your own.
But shit. . .he was so close. Your skin flared with heat, your heart still beating erratically in your chest. 
As you were making direct eye contact with the chest of his white t-shirt, you craned your neck to see his face fully.
“What act, Jacob?” 
He shook his head. A little smirk played at his mouth. He brought his hand up to hold your cheek. Your skin was on fire for him and his touch.
You couldn’t help it when you leaned into his hand, letting your cheek press into his calloused flesh. 
He licked his lips. “You tell me,” he whispered lowly, nodding his head once at you. 
And you couldn’t help it, his deep brown eyes pulled you in. He was begging to be touched. You had to feel him. 
Leaning in, you held his cheek just as he held yours. He then took the chance, and captured your lips with his.
Ah. His lips. So soft. 
Your vision was hazy, eyes still open, you saw how his eyebrows dipped in with a moan. You matched the sound, closing your eyes, and slipped your tongue into his mouth, tangling it with his. 
You heard him shut the door with the hand that wasn’t holding your face. 
He then moved that hand from your face, reaching both hands under your ass, giving it a firm squeeze before he lifted you the short distance to sit on the bathroom countertop. 
You bit his bottom lip, getting another small moan from him. He did the same to you and then soothed the spot with his tongue. You sighed into his mouth. 
Reaching both hands up, you sunk them into his dark, brunette locks. He matched every movement of your lips with his own, and then licked one wet stripe on the roof of your mouth. 
You were able to gasp for air when he moved his mouth from yours to give the softest, small kisses to your neck. Though it didn’t last long before he turned his pecks into wet, open-mouthed kisses. The slightest stubble of hair on his lip skimmed against your sensitive skin. He worked from under your jaw, all the way up, to the tender spot behind your ear. 
Shivering with a sigh, you gripped his hair tighter, pulling him in as close as he could be to you, on the counter. You felt his hardening length against your center when you did so, making you immediately grind into him. 
And when he did the same to the other side of your neck, this time, he nipped at the skin behind your ear. You bucked your hips into his. He released a groan that echoed through the small bathroom, making you want to melt into it. 
“More,” you breathed, clutching him closer, making sure the front of you stayed connected to him. Feeling his hard length through the material of his jeans was almost too much, but you craved it. You needed it. 
More.
But, the next moment, you heard a little cough from your bedroom, right next door. 
It snapped you from your daze. You were suddenly hyper aware that it was not just you two in the apartment. You had to stop.
You pushed him back, jumping off the counter. When you looked in the mirror to check your face and neck, your lips were swollen and your cheeks were flushed. Your neck was still pink from where he’d been. You checked where he’d bit behind your ear, and seeing the redness back there made you want to hop right back onto that counter. Let him have his way with you— right there. Theo be fucking damned.
But you knew better.
Tucking some hair behind your ear, you tried to make yourself look slightly presentable. 
From behind you, he was brushing a hand through his hair, when he went to smooth a hand over his cheeks, his jaw stretching with the motion. He was contemplative.
His eyebrows drew together, curious. You couldn’t tell if he was upset. He mostly looked . . .confused. 
He removed his hand from his face when his eyes found yours in the mirror, open and wondering. He looked desperate to understand. 
“What do you want, y/n?” 
You didn’t know what in the hell to tell him. 
You wanted Jake. And you wanted him bad. But somehow saying it out loud seemed too difficult at the moment. 
And how could you say that to him when he’d so recently, blatantly told you that you were a mistake?
“I don’t know, Jake,” you whispered back, still looking at your blushing cheeks, messy hair, and freshly kissed lips. You’d need a minute to let your skin return to its normal shade before going back to your room. 
You turned to face him.
When you saw him, looking so beautiful, so lost. . . You thought of how lost you’d felt for the past couple weeks. His words were once again flashing back through your head. 
“It was a fucking mistake and you need to leave me alone.”
It still hurt as you could see him so clearly in the doorway of his bedroom, angry and insistent that you do what he said and leave him alone.
But tonight? Crowding you in here to make out on the bathroom counter? Did he truly want that? For you to leave him alone?
“What do you want?” You leveled him with a stare, your tone sharp, but keeping your voice low since Theo was one room over. You pointed a finger in his chest. “You say you want me to leave you alone, but then you trap me in here like this?”
He shook his head, a dimple showing again with a sarcastic grin. After tucking a lock of hair behind his ear, he put the same hand in his pocket. 
“Oh, there is no way you are going to turn this around on me,” he matched your quiet tone, understanding. “And trap you? Okay, Little Miss ‘Fuck Me, Jake,’” he used air quotes to remind you of your words from the night at Baby’s. 
Fuck. 
Of course he remembered you’d said that. Why wouldn’t he? 
You decided to ignore it, focusing back on him.
“You’re the one who said it was a mistake! That I needed to leave you alone,” you protested, anger flaring in your chest.
He covered his eyes with a hand, the veins in the hand catching your eye. You’d never noticed how masculine his hands were. And damn if he didn’t know how to use them . . . Even in this moment, debating with him, you wanted them touching every part of you. You wanted his skilled fingers, flexing inside of you.
“I didn’t mean it like that!” His eyes were sad when he moved his hand, when you saw the brown irises again. But there was a fire behind them still. “Dammit, y/n. Why do you insist on assuming the worst about me all the fucking time? I’m not the one who can’t make up my mind about what I want,” he leaned back against the wall behind him, crossing his arms. “One minute you’re kissing me. You’re with me, naked and ready as I’m pressing into you,” his voice was being raspy, along with the picture he was drawing. . . It made your cheeks pink. You could still feel what he felt like, pressing against you, throbbing. . .so close to being inside of you. He went on, “And the next moment you’re shoving me away from you, making sure to tell me that Josh doesn’t need to know what we’re doing.”
Of course some of this had to do with Josh. You’d had the smallest inkling, based on how weird he’d acted when you set the rules. 
Stupid.
“I knew you were making it all weird with Josh. . . is this all about Josh?! You know that he and I—.”
“No! It’s about you and how you make it impossible for us to—.”
“You told me to go away!”
“And you told me to stop,” he said back, his smoky voice still hushed. “More than once.”
Your chest heaved, knowing he was right, but you were so lost on how to explain it all. “There were reasons every time.” 
“Reasons,” he scoffed. “So are you going to keep having these reasons? Keep stopping it? Why do you keep letting it happen if all you’re going to do is make us stop?” 
“Last time you stopped us, Jake!” You defended, focusing on keeping your voice low. “Not me. You walked away and called it a mistake.”
He covered his face with both hands, growling. You shushed him. 
He took his hands away to show his jaw set, clenching with frustration. “You were drunk, y/n!” He begged you to understand, “I wasn’t going to do anything with you without you being in full and total control of yourself.”
You were sure your expression showed it all clicking. You blinked at him. It all made so much sense now. 
And what he’d done? His true intentions? Fuck. Sexy as hell.
Maybe you really did need to stop assuming the worst. You just couldn’t help it. It was a trauma response. Jumping to conclusions, thinking that people didn’t want you. . .
Your mom didn’t want you, so you were always convinced other people wouldn’t either. 
Especially men who were as beautiful and mesmerizing as Jake Kiszka.
Damn. Now it really was all on you. How did you even begin to lay it all out? 
You looked him dead in the face, completely unsure of how to articulate the mess in your head. 
“I don’t know,” you covered your face with both hands, mimicking him and frustratedly groaning into your palms. When you removed them from your face, you tucked them into your front pockets. You decided to assure him of one thing. For whatever reason, you wanted—needed him to know this. “I do want you. I want what we almost had in the bathroom at Baby’s,” You stepped towards him, wanting to be close to him again. You placed a delicate hand on his chest. He looked down at you, as you looked up into his eyes, reaching to hold your hand on his chest. Your skin tingled at his touch. “I need to feel you, to be with you. . . it just never seems like the right time. There’s always something.”
You didn’t know why you’d suddenly felt the urge to be vulnerable with him. He kept your hand on his chest, holding you, his eyes meeting yours in understanding. 
And you knew then that it was just him. Jake Kiszka, in and of himself, made you feel this strange sense of safety, comfortability. 
And it was different from the kind his twin had offered you as your friend for so many years. 
With Jake, you weren’t just friends. You weren’t even really friends. . .it was something else—an intense, unavoidable attraction. The safe feeling came combined with this desire to be with him. 
He felt like a resting ground. 
It was weird.
But you liked it.
He smoothed a thumb over your hand on his chest. You held his deep gaze, getting lost in it. 
And out of nowhere, he leaned down, kissing your lips with his. Just for a moment. 
You felt it all the way down to your toes. The feeling of him so close, with one simple kiss from his soft lips, it felt perfectly intimate. 
He released his hold on your hand, wrapping his hand around your waist instead, eyes connected with yours. It was as though he just wanted to touch you, have his hands on you.
It was what you wanted, too. Just the feeling of his hand, as it moved down to just over your hip, his thumb on the skin underneath the hem of your gray tank top. . .it felt right. 
He penetrated the thickness in the air with his low, gravelly tone. His eyes were vulnerable as he asked, “Do you want that? To find the right time?” 
You reached a hand up, holding his handsome face. You smoothed a thumb over his skin, tracing a freckle on his cheek. “I do. I promise I do,” you blinked up at him, needing his answer to that question. “And do you? Wanna find the right time?”
This was so much, butterflies flew rampant in your tummy. 
The grin he gave you was loose, his eyes relieved and open. “I really do.”
It felt so amazing to hear it straight from his lips. He really wanted it too. 
You’d overthink all of this later.
He leaned down to kiss you again. You reciprocated, for just a moment, letting your lips move with his. 
Then you pulled back, your hand falling from his face.
You nodded at the door. “I gotta get back to studying.”
His hand that was holding your hip squeezed slightly, your skin heating at it. You caught his eye, the intense feeling setting in your beating heart. 
“Is that all you’re doing?” His eyes were dark and questioning, making your head spin. “Studying?”
You winked at him, still holding onto your teasing from earlier. “It’s whatever I want it to be.”
His eyes seemed to darken more, pulling you in so your chest touched his. So warm. “I really don’t want to hear another guy fucking you through these walls.”
You pressed closer to him, your body thrumming with fire. “Funny coming from the guy who told me I could just wear earplugs when he brought women over,” then you pulled back, his hand fell. His eyebrow lifted, a tiny smirk lifted his lips. You continued, “Why don’t you go ahead and get a pair of your own, hm?”
You patted his cheek, reluctantly parting from him. Before leaving the bathroom, you chanced one more glance at your appearance. Not quite as flushed as before, though your cheeks were still blushing. You’d find a way to pass it off. Whatever. You’d been gone too long. 
You were about to open the bathroom door when, from behind, his voice stopped you. You felt a spark as his hand delicately touched yours.
“Hey.”
You swiveled on your heel, raised your brows in question. “Yeah?”
“Do you think you could come to our gig this weekend? It’s a bigger one.”
Did you work this weekend? You couldn’t remember. 
All you knew was that, suddenly, you really wanted to be at their show. 
“I’m not sure . . . Depends on work.”
“I would love—,” he put a fist in front of his mouth and cleared his throat. “The guys and I would love it if you could be there,” he shook his head, seeming to come to terms with an inner battle. “For me, I would just love to look out and see your beautiful face in the crowd.”
Your mind was fuzzy. All of this felt so unreal, yet so real all at once. He really wanted you there? And had he just called you beautiful? 
“I’ll try my best,” you slapped on a small grin, trying to play hard to get, masking your inner shock. You wanted to keep him on his toes, like he’d kept you for the past weeks. 
He scrunched his brows in and messed with his bottom lip. “Yeah,” he nodded, clearing his throat. “Yeah, totally get it. Just text me and let me know.”
Anytime he messed with his mouth, it was a distraction. You had to keep yourself from watching too close. It really didn’t help that you knew the feeling of those full, pink lips. . . 
And as you walked the short distance to your bedroom, you realized something else.
Had he just asked you to text him? 
What was all of this? This new territory you had just discovered?
-🌼🌼🌼-
And a couple nights later, when you were sitting on the couch watching New Girl, Jake came to sit at his end of the couch. 
Once you’d finished the episode he’d sat down to watch with you, he cleared his throat, making you look over at him. 
He was already looking at you. It made your stomach flurry. You decided to look back at the TV, nervous under his gaze. 
He spoke, keeping your ear in his direction, you paused the show. “We should start the series over. You know, start at the beginning together.” 
You smirked, feeling a rush of giddy happiness and excitement buzz through you.
“Yeah, sure,” you coolly respond, starting the show from scratch.
And as Jess began the first episode, you peeked quickly over at him, a content smile resting on his lips as he lounged at his end of the sofa.
-🌼🌼🌼-
And for the next few nights, Jake kept coming back. He would sit on the couch with you, simply to watch your show. 
Just to share that quiet time at the end of each day with you.
Whenever he would come to sit down, your nerves would translate to a dizziness of butterflies in your stomach. 
Though, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to laugh with him, share popcorn or pizza, look at each other when a character would say something particularly hilarious. . .
But neither of you ever moved to kiss the other. You know . . . make it anything more than two people watching a TV show.
It almost seemed like an unspoken rule that you were not doing that again . . .
. . .yet. 
Both of you, seeming to wait for the right time.
But you sure liked those quiet nights.
These nights with him made your house feel like a home. . . comfortable and safe. 
-🌼🌼🌼-
On Friday night, you got off work a little early.
It was the night before the guys’ show, so Jake obviously wasn’t home due to a last minute rehearsal and details. You'd seen as much on the rehearsal schedule on the fridge.
You took your time showering, shaving, exfoliating, pampering yourself fully, with the apartment to yourself. . .
Once finished, you realized you really wanted to watch New Girl. Even though Jake wasn’t home, you were in the middle of one of your favorite parts of the show. You had to watch the next couple of episodes. 
You’d just rewind to watch again when he was home next. 
You couldn’t help it. The two of you had been binging and you'd come to your favorite part in the whole show. It was arguably the best part—what the audience waits for from practically the first episode. 
Jess and Nick were finally about to bite the bullet, get their shit together and get together. 
And as you sat with a couple slices of warmed up cheese pizza from the night before, cuddled up with Stevie purring against your blanket covered thighs. . .something clicked. 
As they looked at each other throughout the whole episode of “Cooler,” you were angry with them. So angry that they were so close to finally being together, yet so far. . .
“Not like this!” Nick said to Jess, stopping her from kissing him. He suddenly sounded and looked very much like you had felt recently.
He looked desperate to make it the best it could be, get Jess to understand that it had to be just right. They’d waited long enough, and he wanted it to feel like it deserved to. 
You couldn’t stop it when it pulled you right back to your real life. Your current situation. 
And if you were upset with Nick and Jess for piddling around and not just acting on their feelings, not letting loose when it was so obvious they needed to . . . Then why the hell were you dragging it out so damn long with Jake? 
You felt like the two of you were essentially Nick and Jess. You were roommates, with so much building between you—everything and nothing to lose all at once. 
You wanted to act on it. You wanted it all. It was time. 
No, it was past time. 
And as Nick and Jess finally kissed, you decided.
The gig was tomorrow. You were off work early enough to go. . .
You were going to the show, and you weren’t going to stop anything that may happen afterwards this time.
-🌼🌼🌼-
As you left for work the next morning, you noticed a piece of paper sitting on the dining room table with your name on it, along with a sticky attached to it with an address and a little scribbled note underneath. 
Just in case 
-J
Your tummy fluttered. 
You’d been running late, so you hadn’t had time to look at it, tucking it into your bag to look at later.
-🌼🌼🌼-
In the quietness of the record store, you opened it up to find the setlist.
Grinning, you checked it over. Every song on the list were ones you knew. Save for one near the bottom. 
Edge of Darkness.
Suddenly curious about the song, you wondered. . . Was this song the reason he wanted you there?
-🌼🌼🌼-
Due to stupid-ass New York traffic and thinking you’d let Stevie run out of the apartment, only to find her hidden behind clothes in your closet, you were running roughly forty-five minutes late for their gig.
You’d texted Jake to let him know you were running late, but hadn’t received a text back. Momentarily, you’d been afraid of him being upset with you for being late, your stomach falling when he hadn’t responded for the thirty-ish minute drive to the venue after you’d sent it. 
Then, you realized he was on stage performing, so of course he wouldn’t respond. 
Whenever you’d sent the text, your hands had been extremely shaky, checking your text a million times for grammatical errors, even after you’d sent it. It was seriously like a ridiculous high school crush. 
Dumb.
You still believed that if you just fucked him and got it out of your system, some of those juvenile feelings would come to pass. 
As an adult woman, you didn’t need to care so deeply for how a man might respond to you. There was no use for that, and you thought yourself ludicrous for it.
Though, you really did feel terrible as traffic took so long, delaying your arrival to the venue. Your normal road rage came out a few times, honking your horn and cursing as people would drive several miles below the speed limit in front of you. 
You just wanted to get there.
-🌼🌼🌼-
When you did get there, the guys were playing their hearts out as you had to squeeze through a mass of sweaty, singing bodies, alcohol sloshing whenever you’d pass through. 
The establishment had two levels, so you decided to climb some stairs to watch from a higher level, hoping for less of a crowd from that vantage point. 
And when you’d made it up there, you realized it was still crowded. But it wasn’t nearly as bad as below. You found a semi-clear space to claim, a thankfully nice view of all of the guys.
The first thing you noticed when you looked at Josh was his hair. He’d told you recently that he was trying to grow it out on the sides, going for a full head of curling hair. You hadn’t seen him recently enough to see the progress, though, and it looked great on him. 
“All right!” Josh had screamed into the mic, hyping up the packed house, receiving screams from everyone watching. Jake strummed a little note which made you immediately hone in on him, but he seemed irritated, strumming a few more times, shaking his head.
Josh glanced over at his twin, sensing the issue, and he smiled back at the crowd. “How we feeling?!” He raised his hands, eliciting more screams as Jake continued strumming, finally gaining some help from someone in their little backstage crew. The curly headed twin gave Jake another look, but Jake’s back was turned as he worked with the crew member to get the problem figured out. 
Josh walked over to his twin, checking out the problem for himself. They were having the smallest conversation before Jake shook his head at Josh, and then the crew member. He turned around, effectively giving up on the issue. He played another chord, checking, but his brows were still drawn in with irritation.
What was going on? Was he okay? You suddenly had an incredibly impulsive urge to go check on him. But you stood your ground as he felt out a few more notes, shrugging shortly and giving a curt nod to Josh as a go ahead. 
Josh once again smiled so wide it looked like it hurt. You could tell he was trying his hardest to alleviate any sort of tension for the crowd. Fortunately, the crowd seemed oblivious, playing into it as a sort of bit, it seemed.
You took a few seconds to send a text to your sweet, empathetic friend to let him know you were there and that you wanted to get a drink after the show.
You hated seeing him stressed- especially on stage. You were feeling it with him and with Jake.
“How about a new one?” He asked, receiving a plethora of yells and screams. You smiled with the crowd. “This next one is called Edge of Darkness. . .and it’s about. . .the edge of darkness.”
You giggled at him. He was a great frontman. The people were soaking it all up, laughing with him, and screaming for more. 
But you had to check back in on Jake. He seemed to be doing better, still upset, but he smiled tightly to a few screaming girls in front. 
He started playing, his face saying that something was not blending together like you knew he wanted it to. But you couldn’t tell the difference, so you knew the crowd couldn’t, either. 
It didn’t stop him from turning to check the amp a couple more times before suddenly, he was ripping through the most erotic guitar solo you’d ever heard him play live.
Fuck. The song was called the ‘Edge of Darkness’, and it was ironic because you felt like you were on the edge of some kind of dark shit. Watching him manipulate those strings with such precision and intent, his hips fucking (yes, fucking) into his guitar. It was unlike anything else he’d ever done with that guitar. . .you were absolutely sure of it.
You were sweating. And you knew it wasn’t from proximity to any people around you. No, it was from watching him go to this secret place that you wanted to join. 
His facial expressions were driving you insane. All you could imagine was seeing those faces above you as your body replaced the guitar. Bent over, with him fucking into you with the same vigor he was giving his instrument.
Then he threw it behind his fucking head. It got you every. time. He made it look so effortless— so easy for him to balance it there (though you knew it wasn’t), while he still played all of the intricate chords. He was a natural—a true rockstar. 
You wondered what else he was a natural at. 
You were squirming underneath your skin, your palms were clammy and when you moved a bit, you noticed your thong was uncomfortably damp between your legs. And your jeans made it impossible to move to fix the issue. 
These solos of his. . .fuck. They were the sole cause for your sexual frustration after these shows. Why you’d had to replace vibrators in the past month. 
But tonight? Tonight, you wouldn’t need the help of your hand or a tool. No, tonight, you planned on going home with him— to take care of it with his help.
-🌼🌼🌼-
But as you waited out in the bar area after the show, after sending Jake a text on how well he did, you were met with radio silence on his end. 
It sat there, glaring at you in the blue bubble. 
You, 10:43 p.m.: You fuckin killed it. So glad I came.
It had now been several minutes since the show had ended and since you’d sent the message, and looking at the time on your phone, you realized it had now been closer to an hour. 
What was taking them so long? Their crew packed their shit up now . . . so where were they?
You weren’t able to wonder too much longer, hearing Josh’s voice come up right behind you. 
But he didn’t have his usual bounce. He sounded super pissed.
“Your roommate’s a dick,” he sat in the seat at the bar next to you. He ran two hands through his growing hair and then put both of his hands over his face. He sat there like that until the bartender came up, removing them when they asked what he wanted. “Strongest thing you have.”
“Josh?” You tentatively reached a hand out to touch his bare shoulder. He’d worn his little brown vest he loved so much, sans a shirt underneath. “You okay?”
When he looked at you, he looked sorry for how he’d been acting. And he said as much. 
“I’m sorry, y/n. Jake just—,” he put his face into his crossed arms on the bar to growl, then he faced you again. “He’s been in a piss mood all fucking night, and when he’s mad, I feel it all the way down to my bones. I also just get really fed up with his little attitude he gets when something goes wrong. It’s annoying as hell and I get tired of it.”
You could relate—you also hated Jake’s pissant attitude when he was upset over something. Though, in this circumstance, you felt inclined to be the devil’s advocate.
“Josh. . .you also get upset when things go wrong. You’re the biggest perfectionist I know.”
“Apparently you don’t know Jake, then. And you’re one to talk!” He spat. Then he groaned again, his eyes sympathetic when he looked at you. “I’m sorry. I know. I agree with you. I’m sorry. He just. . . seemed off all night and it already bothers me when he’s upset over something and he wasn’t telling me everyth— my twin intuition always knows when he isn’t telling me everything. And tonight he sure as hell had something else on his mind that he refused to give any weight to,” the bartender came up with a shot of something. Josh threw it back, and shook his head, coughing just a bit. His eyes bulged the slightest bit.
You couldn’t help your little laugh at him. He needed that. Take the fucking edge off. “Strong like you wanted?”
He gave you a grin, his eyes easier than they were before. You relaxed, realizing you were absolutely feeling that tension with him. You felt especially better when he waved the server back over to ask for a salty dog. That’s more like it.
“Anyway,” he started, swiveling his body to be facing towards you, one arm on the bar. “Sam and Daniel didn’t even have to be subjected to it. They left to meet up with a couple of their other friends before he exploded on me. Just me! And they don’t get those same inklings from him that I do. Being a twin is both a blessing and a curse. I swear we fuckin’ share a brain sometimes.”
His movements, facing you like this on his barstool, made you think of when Jake had sat next to you like this—the night he’d kept you close, taken you home, and then cut things short. Everything you’d felt that night coming back tenfold. 
 . . . Where was he? It didn’t matter where he was. Really. But you were curious. 
“Where is Jake?” You tried to play it cool, because that’s what you were. Cool. It was nothing. You went ahead and softened the question by complimenting his growing hair. “And I like your hair.”
“Thanks. Biotin vitamins, I swear to God,” he patted the sides of his ‘do, giving you a cheeky smirk. “And Jake—. Thank you,” he said to the bartender, giving her a quick wink as she sat his drink on his coaster. “He went back to your place. Didn’t wanna stay around for a good time. He was not in the mood.”
Your heart sank.
What? He’d gone home?
But he'd asked you to come tonight? Had he gotten your texts? Surely he had. There was no reason he wouldn’t’ve. All of a sudden, you felt extremely stupid for sending them. . .for thinking anymore of tonight than you should have. For worrying about him from the balcony. When he didn’t even care to stay to see you. 
He was the most unpredictable asshole and you were foolish to think, for even a split second, that he wasn’t. 
-🌼🌼🌼-
Luckily, Josh was ready to end the night fairly early. 
You were glad because you weren’t in the mood to entertain after having your feelings hurt (stupidly) by Jake leaving and not telling you. It was the smallest thing to be upset over, you knew. Your heart had gotten ahead of you, and into something ridiculous. 
On your drive home, you kept telling yourself that you were done with all Jake related thoughts. You shouldn’t give two shits about the man. Really. He’d been a jerk from day one. And even though he’d had a few instances of being someone so wonderful. . . he kept doing things that just reminded you that maybe he was just incapable of being consistent.
You were worried about what you’d go home to. Afraid of hearing him and a girl from his bedroom, seeing them on your couch. . . You were tired of not being able to keep up with him. It was exhausting. 
And as much as you told yourself he didn’t matter, you knew you were lying to yourself. You’d made him matter the past couple months—let him matter. Too many times you’d let him get to you. And as much as you wanted to regret it, you couldn’t fully let yourself do that yet. 
The stubborn, stupid part of you wanting to give him a chance. Wondering what had happened tonight that got him so upset. 
You cared. . .even though you really wished you didn’t. 
So as you traipsed through your front door, you were relieved when all of the lights were turned off, and there was no sight or sound of a woman. Only Stevie, who came up to purr against your calves. Feeling bad for your hungry kitty, you quickly went to drop your purse to the table so you could feed her.  
But when you looked in her dish, there was already fresh kibble in the bowl. You hadn’t fed her before you’d left. . . 
Had Jake . . .? Obviously. Your heart perked at the gesture.
Then, the sound of a guitar being strummed from his bedroom stopped your thoughts. Stevie went to eat, and you left her to do so as you walked towards the sound. 
You weren’t choosing your path. . . your feet were simply leading you, your mind hardly keeping up with what you were going to do once you got to his room. 
Just felt a want to see him. Talk to him. 
Why?
You’d worry about that later. Didn’t want to think about that for the time being.
Once you got to his door, you noticed it wasn't fully closed. You didn’t think as you pushed it open. 
And then, there you were. And there he was, facing the door, his concert attire still fully on. He looked up at you from his spot, stopping the strumming abruptly. 
But his eyes weren’t kind. He wasn’t happy. He was still feeling the anger Josh had been talking about. 
Not giving two shits how he’d react, you didn’t hold back. You were still pissed, too. At him. 
“It’s not fucking kind to invite someone to something and then leave them there without a damn hello or goodbye.”
He blinked, his lip curling to show a sarcastic smile. “You’re gonna pull that shit?”
You stepped further into his room, coming close enough to him that your knees were almost touching his, where he sat at the edge of his bed, his hand clutching the acoustic with a tight grip. Too tight. 
“What the fuck, Jake? Of course I’m going to ‘pull that shit.’ It was a fuckin’ prick move and I didn’t appreciate it.”
“It’s a prick move to keep someone waiting for a response about whether or not you’ll be somewhere when I can see damn well your schedule on that fridge, saying all week that you didn’t work tonight,” he got up to place his guitar on the stand next to his bed. He kept careful to not touch you as he moved. Wow. He placed it delicately, in stark contrast to his sharp movements. He spun on his heel to face you. “Why don’t you care, y/n? You don’t have to fucking come if you don’t care. I’d rather you stay home if you don’t want to be there when I invite you.” 
“What made you think I don’t care?!”
“You kept me hanging! All week,” he angrily brushed a hand through his hair, growling with the motion when a ring got stuck in the locks. “Fuck!” He started pulling down his bed covers, not looking at you as he argued. “You don’t do that when it’s my brother. He wants you there, you’re fuckin’ there. With me, when I ask you, you’re always late and you barely even tell me you’re coming. It’s obvious who you’re really going to see and I’m tired of you acting like you care about me when you really only care about Josh.”
“What?! First of all, you knew I worked the night of your first show. I didn’t want to. . .I got fucking called in— so don’t you dare hold that against me!” You came closer to him, hitting his arm to make him stop the unmaking of his bed. “Quit doing that and fucking listen to me!”
He went rigid, throwing the covers dramatically, stopping like you asked. He stood stiff as a board with his arms crossed at his chest. He motioned a hand for you to continue, almost mocking. “Go on. Enlighten me.”
You shoved his chest. “Stop it!” You crossed your own arms, your heart beating so hard in your chest. “Stop with the Josh shit. Anytime either of you ask, I’m there. I’m sorry I didn’t let you know sooner about tonight. I’ve just been—I don’t know,” you’d been thinking about him. How badly you wanted to do him after the show tonight. “Distracted?”
“School?” He questioned, seeming genuinely concerned.
You shook your head, not wanting to lie. “No. Not school. I don’t know how to explain—,” you looked into his eyes. They were hardening again. “I don’t know. Just distracted.” 
He shook his head. He was in the dark. There was no way he’d know the full truth unless you told him. But you weren’t sure how to articulate it. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, his jaw set. “Thank you, y/n. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”
“Jake— seriously. Please sto—.”
“I just—dammit!” He combed a hand through his hair and got the same ring stuck. Having enough, he took the one piece of offensive jewelry off, and placed it delicately on his desk behind him. He locked eyes with you again. “The other night in the bathroom, you—I could have sworn you—but you—you told me— I just can’t keep up!”
“I can’t keep up with you!” You yelled back, momentarily worrying about neighbors. It was very late.
You were at a loss. 
You surveyed him, his chest was heaving like yours. Walking a few steps forward, your chest was almost touching his— you softly grabbed at the front of his light red T-shirt, eager for him to hear. His breathing seemed to slow at you being so close. Your eyes held each other, his were questioning.
It was now or never. The frantic beating of your heart, sounding in your ears. You were shaking. You were tired of him thinking he knew best. 
What you were most tired of was tiptoeing around—the barely missing each other. 
“I’m only asking one more time. What do you want?” He begged, reminding you of Ryan Gosling in The Notebook.
You would have giggled at the similarity if you weren’t feeling the seriousness of this moment. 
There was so much to say, but only one thing left to say, all at once. . .
You stood there, sharing breaths, for a few still seconds. Could have been minutes. You were lost in the beautiful gaze of his deep, dark eyes.
Your heart slowed, your breath catching in your throat while your stomach dropped to your knees.
“I want you to fuck me,” you said lowly, grabbing at his shirt with a sturdier hand. You weren’t scared—only sure. So fucking sure. And beyond ready. 
His jaw went slack. It almost looked like he wanted to say something to challenge you, but he bit his lip. Instead, he grabbed softly at your jaw, curving his hand up to cradle your head, softly under your flowing hair. 
“Well I can fucking do that.” Was all he said as he dove in, securing your lips with his. 
He sucked on your bottom lip and penetrated your mouth with his smooth tongue. He tasted like minty gum and cigarettes. Usually, you found it repulsive to kiss someone with the taste of nicotine in their mouth, but with Jake . . . It was suddenly everything you’d ever wanted in a kiss. 
You lost yourself in the moment. In him. There was nothing stopping you now. 
Continuing to kiss you, he turned you both, until the backs of your legs softly hit the edge of his bed. Taking that as your cue, you went to sit down on the sheets. You unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, his delicious hips right at eye level with you now. He took initiative and pushed them the rest of the way down, stepping out of them.
Then all you could see in front of you was him, bursting at the seams in his pink, AE briefs. Fuck, he was so cute and sexy all at once. You didn’t know how he did it. 
Your mouth watered as you went to pull down his briefs. But he put a hand on yours to stop you, the cold metal of his rings a contrast to your heated skin.
You looked up, your eyebrows dipping in question. 
“Not yet,” he corrected. Then he took his shirt off, exposing his beautifully soft, tanned, and perfectly toned chest. A long necklace laid against his stomach, and you used it to pull him down to you. 
You laid back, his legs coming to rest in between yours as he crawled onto the bed to follow you. He unwrapped the necklace from his neck, putting it on his small bedside table. Using the time he was preoccupied, you pushed his underwear down his thighs, watching his face to see his reaction. 
He teasingly rolled his eyes at you. 
“Damn, woman,” he chuckled under his breath, showing his perfectly straight teeth. Beautiful man. He finished the job, kicking them off. “One track mind or what?”
Rolling your eyes back at him, you gave a quiet grin and clicked your tongue. “Whatever, Kiszka.”
But he wasn’t wrong. You wanted to see him. Fully.
And you were glad you got your way, because fuck. 
He was stunning. Even more so when you could fully see it, without the dimness of the bathroom lights at Baby's. How could a cock be so pretty?
You reached out to touch him. He shivered at the feeling of your cool skin on his heated, swollen flesh. So soft, smooth. . .thick.
Shit.
His precum was already leaking from his pretty pink tip. 
Your mouth was watering. Your need to have your hands on him clouded your every thought. 
But before you could do anything more than run your fingers over him, he was moving his body to be on top of yours, your hands falling from him. You edged up the bed, him following after you. His eyes were hungry, and his hands were purposeful and strong as he quickly unfastened your jeans, pulling them off in one smooth motion. 
Your pussy throbbed at how close it was to happening. How close you were to finally feeling him. Fulfilling the need you’d discovered too long ago. 
Taking off your cropped t-shirt as he stripped you of your panties, you hissed as your wet mound met the air of his room. You made quick work of your bra. 
He sat above you, gently cupping your bare pussy, while watching your naked chest rise and fall as you took several deep breaths, waiting. You ground into the palm of his hand, needing the friction. He then moved his hands, grazing them up your thighs, hips, waist, and finally let them settle on the outer curve of your breasts. 
Your skin grew goosebumps, your nipples hardening to peaks in the cool air of his bedroom. He seemed mesmerized. His mouth was slightly opened, his eyes studying your chest with every breath you took. 
“Jake?” You whispered, breaking his stare at your breasts and making him look into your eyes. 
“Sorry,” he blinked a few times, shaking his head with a little grin, balancing his hands on either side of your head. He leaned down to give your lips a sweet kiss. “It’s the first time I’ve ever seen all of you . . .,” He leaned on a forearm, and reached to your chest again, holding one breast in his hand, massaging it as his thumb skated over the nipple. “Beautiful,” he praised, looking you right in the eye. Oh, Jake.
Then, his mouth attached to the opposite breast, his lips sucked gently, his tongue flicking out to lick the nipple. 
You felt it everywhere, your toes curling at his touch. And with a sigh, you leaned into his mouth, needing more. Needing all he could give. 
“Fuck, Jake,” you whined. “Your mouth feels so good.”
And then he switched breasts, making sure to give each the same treatment. . . Holy sweet hell. You were done for. 
Your body shook, feeling your nerve endings spasm. No one else had ever stimulated you this much, this way. You didn’t know you could feel so much from a man only lapping at your chest. He was magic. 
“Jake,” you keened, your chest pushing further into his mouth. Your hips thrusting up to meet his. Fuck. With both of you having your pants off, he almost entered you at the motion. And damn the temptation was too much. “Shiiiit.”
He continued to worship your chest, and when you met his hips again, he bucked into yours, deliciously rough, matching a thrust. You felt him, hard, and fitting right between your wet folds, so close to being inside you. 
You saw stars, closing your eyes. 
Fuck.
You heard the softest groan against your breast. You looked down at him, lavishing at your supple skin. One thick brow was raised, but then he pulled them in, in concentration, as he rocked into you again. Shit. 
You couldn’t help the cry that escaped you. Or the words that followed. 
“Please, Jake. Please,” you didn’t know what you were asking for. Just needed more of him. You pushed your hands into his hair, growing confidence from your position. You pushed his face further into you, and you felt him bite at your nipple. Your hips naturally came to meet his and with all of it—fuck—your moan was pornographic. “I need you,” you pushed up, grinding your hips into his. “Here,” you did it again for emphasis, your pussy aching for him.
He released the nipple he’d been sucking with a pop. There was a snicker at your chest, and you saw the dimple in his cheek when he smirked. But before he did anything else, he moved back up your body, your chests finally touching. He had a hand still holding snug to a breast. He squeezed it once, your clit thrummed at the motion and you once again pushed your front to his. 
He kissed the column of your neck softly, trailing kisses from there, all the way to the corner of your mouth. You moved to meet your lips with his, your hand still tangled in his wavy hair. 
You kissed lazily for a few minutes, just enjoying the taste of each other. Your pussy still occasionally grazing his impossibly hard front. You’d moan into each other’s mouths every time. . .absolutely euphoric.
When you came up for air, you let yourself get lost in the chocolate pools of his irises. He was so handsome. So pretty. You couldn’t help the hand that came to hold his cheek, the other one still combing through his hair. 
He gave the corner of your mouth one more peck before he rasped, moving to give the same kiss to the swell of each of your breasts. “Your tits . . .,” he blew out a breath against your skin, making the flesh erupt in goosebumps. You sighed. “Fuck, y/n. They’re perfect. So soft and full. . .” One more kiss to each, this time with tongue. “Fuckin’ perfect.”
Then his slick tongue was moving from your chest, down your stomach, and over your right thigh. He hitched both of your legs up, to be bent at the knee. Giving him better access to what you knew he was about to do. He gave your pussy the same long look he gave your breast, admiring what was in front of him. He licked his lips at the sight. 
Your heart was racing. 
And without warning, his tongue found you, flattening on your sensitive clit. It was so hard, with only the slightest direct contact from his tongue, you were bucking your hips into his face. He used two strong hands to grasp and hold your hips to the bed, making sure to soothe your position by making wide, smooth circles with his thumbs in the hidden flushed dips between your thighs and groin. 
He then dipped his tongue to curve into the growing wetness between your folds. You gasped as he lapped at your arousal, occasionally moaning into you as he would lick. He continued like that for long enough that you weren’t sure you could see straight. Your legs were weak from your position. It was almost as if he was enjoying this—simply getting to taste you, feel you against his mouth. 
And suddenly, you felt your body begin to tremble uncontrollably, your every sense becoming heightened. The feeling of him was all-consuming. You couldn’t deny it any longer, the growing sensation in the pit of your belly threatening to give way at any moment. And he knew it. The work of his mouth became more intense, more fervorous, more hungry. His plush lips working your throbbing cunt into a frenzy until you finally gave in. 
He hardly took his mouth off of you, only enough to speak his velvet soft voice against your soaked pussy, his breath hot against the wet skin. “That’s it, baby, that’s it. Let me have it.”
Then it hit you, harder than it ever had. You suddenly realized that you’d been deprived your entire life of this feeling, no man had ever done that to you. Let alone with just his mouth. 
You came back to, arching into him as you felt his tongue make a perfect circle around the still-tight bud of your sensitive clit. You could hardly control your tremors as your body had felt the ultimate test of ecstasy. 
Then you heard a little whimper from Jake, and you looked down through hazy eyes to see his eyebrows were drawn deeper than you’d ever seen them. 
A movement caught your eyes further down. His hips were thrusting, and with each rut of them, he kept forcefully meeting the mattress. You felt his bed shake with each jerk of his hips. Your clit twitched at the sensation of the bed rocking and his mouth on you. You could only imagine what it would be like when he was inside you. You felt the vibration of a growl against your pussy.
“Jake. . .,” you moaned. He hummed against you, which you presumed was a response to you. You hitched your hips up to meet his mouth as he curled his tongue to fit in the small hole between your folds, which gained him an involuntary shake from your body and a whine from you. He then trailed his tongue all the way up from your hidden spot, to hit the sensitive underside of your clit. You groaned loudly at the way his tongue was intermittently flicking against and massaging your overly sensitive bundle of nerves. 
He whimpered again, and his brows creased so closely together. You felt another jolt beneath you as the bed shook with a rather forceful thrust from his hips. You knew he was either really enjoying himself or was getting tired and really wanted his own release. From past experience with men, you assumed the latter. 
“Jake,” you started scooting your body up the bed. You got flashbacks to nights cut too short when you said his name like that. You knew he did, too, as his mouth lifted from you and his dark eyes met your own.
“You said you wanted this,” he grunted in response, his forehead falling to lay on your thigh in defeat.
“I do, Ja—.”
He interrupted you when he dug his fingers into your hips harder, pulling you back down to meet his slick tongue. Your eyes rolled back in your head at the feeling of him lapping at you with the force he was exuding to seemingly keep you in your spot.  
You tugged at his hair harder, trying to signal him to stop. As much as you didn’t want him to stop, it wasn’t fair for you to have all of the attention. He needed his release.
He slowly, hesitantly stopped and looked up at you, and you saw his eyes soften the slightest bit at your face. You knew you probably looked concerned, as that was how you were feeling for him. 
“Are you okay?” He lifted his body from the spot he’d been laying in between your legs. He laid his body beside yours, and his swollen cock came to heavily sit on top of your leg. 
You could have drooled at the sight of it flush against your skin. Fuck.
“You need release, too, Jake,” you combed your fingers through his hair. He wrinkled his brows at that. You continued, “I’ve already finished once; you don’t have to give me any more attention.”
He leaned back a bit, seeming offended. “You don’t want me to keep going?”
You pulled him by his shoulders, back to where he’d been, and reassured. “No, I want you to keep going—Goddamn, babe. . .but I also want to make sure you are able to feel satisfied and taken care of,” you sat up, and moved down the bed, so you were looking right at his thickness. You got him to position himself to be where you just were, his back against the headboard. You stared up at him through your lashes as you spit onto his aching head, then grasped his dick in your hand, all in one fluid motion. 
His eyelids dropped, and his Amber-brown irises darkened. You gave him one slight squeeze and you saw the muscles in his thighs tighten and his head fall back slightly. But his gaze stayed on you. 
Giving him one more pump, you rolled your thumb over the head. He groaned, but you weren’t able to give him any more attention as he flipped your body to be under his again in one swift motion. 
You squinted at him from your new position, “Why can’t I—?”
“You act as if I wasn’t satisfied with what I was doing before,” he retorted, voice low and face right above yours. 
“You were obviously wanting more. You were—I wanted to help because you kept. . . thrusting into the mattress,” you blinked up into his sultry glare. “I could tell—.”
“I was fucking the mattress because I loved getting to tongue fuck the hell out of your perfect pussy,” he snapped. 
Your body tingled at his words. This man. 
But you didn’t want your desire to please him to be ignored. You reflected the glare that was still shading his features. “Why do you always have to get your way?” You argued.
He huffed, “My way?” He went down to bite the inner curve of your right breast. You moaned, feeling your nipples harden even more at the sensation. He continued his way down your body, “If I would have had my way this wouldn’t be—," You thrusted up into his stiff dick again. You smirked when he bit his lip, eyes closing to stave off your distraction. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fuck, y/n,” his eyes bore into you, then he worked his way down to where he was, once again, settled between your legs. He gave you one lick up your folds. You whispered his name, shaking. So sensitive. So delicious. “Have I wanted your mouth on my dick for a long ass time? Fuck yes. But I’ve also wanted this again. Give me this. I want this.”
“Jake, you don’t have to say that just becau—.”
He closed his eyes and groaned. “Can you not fucking argue with me for once?” 
“Can you just fucking listen to me? I want to make sure you—.”
He forcefully entered you with one finger, his thumb reaching up to rub over your hard clit. You threw your head back, looking down at him with lust clouding your vision. You wanted to be angry with him for interrupting you, but dammit . . . you just couldn’t be. 
He pumped it in and out a few times before putting the finger in his mouth, closing his eyes and moaning. “You taste so fuckin’ delicious, baby.”
His usage of the pet name made your brain short circuit for a few seconds, but you got distracted from it because suddenly, his face was back, right above yours. His forearms caged you in, on either side of your head. His hair was draping around you like a curtain. It felt so familiar. . .so wonderful.
And now, you knew it was about to happen. 
You felt the head of his cock at your entrance, just as you had at Baby’s. 
But this time. . .this time it was different. So different. You couldn’t pinpoint how or why—it just was.
You looked down to where your bodies were so close to finally connecting. When you looked into his eyes, you noticed he was waiting for you. 
For some reason, you felt as though he’d been studying your face while you were looking away. He seemed so content to simply be watching you, waiting for you, until you found his eyes. 
When your eyes met his, you saw the smile that filled his amber-brown irises. It was a sweet moment that felt like it would forever be locked in time. You stayed there, him above  you. And somehow, you knew he was waiting for permission. So, you nodded your head. 
And without a second thought, his eyes still honing in on yours, he entered you. 
You could’ve sang, you were so relieved to feel him like this. Finally. 
“So fucking tight,” he grunted, letting his tip meet your most secret spot inside. Ohhh yeah. You wanted to fuckin’ purr.
It had been awhile . . . and Jake had noticed by your tightness. But as he rolled his hips the slightest bit, helping you adjust, hitting you right where you needed him, deep inside—there was no questioning that the man knew what the hell he was doing. 
Just like your thoughts earlier tonight. . .he was a natural. 
You continued to wince a little, since he was so thick. It took a second to stretch to his size, and he let you, moving around enough from inside to help you. But he felt so damn good, you didn’t want to stay like that for too long. You needed more. 
You wrapped your arms around his neck, needing to feel closer to him. His hair tickled the back of your hand.
Though, when you’d looked back at his face, his eyes were stuck on you, seeming to be caught in a trance, a relaxed, loose grin fitting to his pink lips.
You moved your hips just a bit. He felt you move, and he seemed to come back, his eyes locking in on your lips. He gave into the urge, kissing you, letting his tongue explore your mouth briefly, you doing the same to his mouth.
Then, when you came up for air, breathing so hard, you shared this look. Such fondness behind the gaze. It was almost too much. But like all things with Jake, it felt right.
You played with the ends of his hair, where your arms were crossed at his back. Maybe you could stay like this forever. 
But then he moved out slowly, and pushed back into you, hard and to the hilt. You felt his balls hit the bottom of your ass and you almost crossed your eyes at the ecstasy of it all. 
He rocked into you like that a few more times, a little slower, moving steadily. 
Then he switched things up. 
He held your body up, his dick still firmly inside of you as he sat up on his knees, leaning back on his heels. He balanced your ass on his thighs and pushed a pillow up behind you, sitting you up, your back against the headboard. Your legs moved of their own accord to be on either side of his hips.  
The position had you completely open to him, as your legs were spread wide, his cock pulsing inside of you. He bit his lip, focusing. It was like he was admiring a piece of art, not able to take his eyes from it. Deep in thought. 
And all of a sudden, you felt extremely vulnerable. Every piece of you on full display, save for your backside which sat perfectly on his bare thighs. So, still. He had every piece of you open to him, around him, or on top of him.
You almost spoke, but he beat you to it. 
“You are so fucking beautiful, y/n. Dammit,” he said with awe laced beautifully in his raspy voice, hitched on his next words. “This is— you are . . .,” he shook his head, and was never able to come up with the words. Instead, he just continued to let his eyes graze over you.
You felt your entire body heat at his words, the intimacy of all this. You felt emotional hearing the words, being like this with him. It was the most open and vulnerable you’d felt with a man in a long time (maybe ever), and he was seeming to treasure it just as much as you. 
His hands held your waist as you tangled a hand in his hair, and looped one arm over his shoulders - both of your chests heaving, needy.
He then brought you forward, until your clit was positioned to rub right below his belly button. You gasped at the full change in position, his cock as deep as it could go. You used the new angle as leverage and went onto the pads of your feet, raising off of him briefly, and then you slowly sank back down onto his throbbing length.
The moan he let out was heavenly. It made you feel like you were on top of the world, the way his mouth hung open. You continued to rise, and sink back down. Long and slow motions that helped you both to feel all of each other. Once you got more confident, you started swiveling your hips as you started to bounce on top of him. 
After a few more swings of your hips, he used his hold on your waist and lifted you off of him. 
You unabashedly let out a small cry at the loss of him inside you, but you moved with him. You positioned yourself to be on all fours, ass facing him— going with his motions and assuming that’s what he wanted. 
The hiss you heard leave his mouth when you were in position, and the way he kneaded your plush ass cheeks with his calloused fingertips made you smirk with victory. You knew exactly what he wanted. 
“You like that?” You breathed at him, wiggling your round ass at him, grinding back on his hardness. You felt him quiver at your movement. Then you felt a hard smack against your right asscheek. “Fuck— Jake!”
He soothed the spot, massaging it the slightest bit, and before you had time to fully process the first hit, he went in for another slap on the other cheek. 
You jolted with a squeak, surprised, but fully welcoming it. 
Fuck yeah. Did he like things rough? If so, you were here for it. 
Tossing your hair over your shoulder, you pointedly made eye contact with his hooded gaze. He had a knowing smirk on his face, matching your own expression. 
He gave you two more slaps, one for each side, and this time you felt the cold metal of his rings with the hits. Oh fuck. 
You pushed back on him, wanting more. His thick cock, snug between your sore cheeks at this angle. 
But instead, he flipped you to lay on your back again. Where was this strength coming from? Dear God. 
How easily he maneuvered your body, wherever he wanted it to go. . . You bit your lip. Fuck. It was like you were his little instrument, moving you every which way, like he threw his guitar behind his head so effortlessly—that was you right now. 
Your core convulsed at the thought. 
Jake set an arm next to your head, and the other above, almost cradling it to not hit the headboard. Then he sunk his pulsing dick into your waiting, dripping cunt. At this point, you were getting fairly acquainted with his size, so you grabbed his perfectly round backside, burying him the deepest he could be in you. 
You also used this position to sway your hips up, each stroke on his dick intentional. Throwing in a little trick of yours, you tightened your muscles to grip his length with each roll of your hips, making him fit even more snug, inside of you. 
“Oh baby,” he groaned at the feeling, the first time you did it. And after a few more, he tapped your hip. “If you don’t stop, I’m not gonna last.”
He was trembling above you. His arm was shaking next to your head. 
“Y/n, baby—fuck,” he grunted, tapping at your hip harder. He wasn’t ready to be done. Neither were you. So you tapped him right back, motioning for him to move off of you. 
After he’d moved, you went to lay partially on your side and partially on your belly. You lifted your ass to indicate you were ready. And in one smooth move, his chest was against your back, his arms back where they were before, but in the new position. He slowly slid in, feeling out the new angle. 
You loved it. One of your new favorites. 
“I love this fuckin’ view of you, y/n,” he groaned, his breath hitting your shoulder. “And the way you feel like this—goddamn.”
He was filling you up, all the way, except this time, you had the combined feeling of him inside, while his smooth sac hit your pussy with each languid pump of his hips. 
You watched how his bicep and fist flexed at the same time, with each thrust, so purposeful. 
Damn him for being so sexy.
His hips started moving quicker, almost of their own accord. And before you knew it, he was pounding into you, his balls slapping hard against you. 
The sounds—the way it felt— perfection.
Your toes curled. Ecstasy. He kept hitting your hidden spot inside; your clit was getting friction from his sheets; and the back of your pussy was getting attention, too. Fuck. This position was going in the books.
Without warning, you felt the arm next to you move, his hand going to sweep swift circles on your swollen bundle of nerves.
“Jaaaake,” you whined, sounding completely pathetic. Sweat was beading at your forehead. Your folds were spasming, your pussy ready to let go. “Fuck, baby.”
You couldn’t hold it anymore. All of it combined—the loud slaps of flesh, the sweat, his hand, the pressure of his pretty dick stretching your tender pussy- hitting every part of you—damn.
You came for the second time that night with a curl from your hands and toes, and a loud sob.
“Doing so good, y/n,” he pushed his chest closer to your back, feeling your release against his hand and helping you ride the wave. And all of a sudden, his hips started rutting, so erratically against your ass, his dick pulsing inside with each roll of his hips. “I’m gonna—where do you—fuck! Y/n—.”
Shit. You almost forgot. You weren’t on the pill. You’d just gone off a few months ago. Shit shit shit shit.
Momentarily snapping from your hazy afterglow, you grasped his hip. “Dammit—on my back!” 
Thankfully, he pulled out in time, and with a small moan from his perfect lips, hot spurts of his cum met your back, shiny from sweat. 
After, he laid above you, one shaking arm still above you, the other now holding your tummy. Okay, now you hated this position. You couldn't easily flip to see his face. And you wanted to see him.
He made quick work of reaching for his T-shirt from earlier to clean off your back. 
“Wanna see your face,” he sighed, rubbing at your shoulder. 
You grinned at the sentiment, wanting so desperately to see him, too. So, you rolled onto your back, letting an arm fall above your head, and the other lay across your stomach, replacing where his had been. In a daze, you watched him as he cleaned up his cock, still glistening from your climax. 
Changing your line of sight, you let yourself watch his face as he cleaned himself. His lips were slightly parted, his top lip curled a bit to show some of his top row of teeth. He was focused. And damn he looked good like that. 
But you already knew that. 
Finally, he was done, and he threw the shirt over the side of the bed, joining the pile of clothes on the ground. 
He went to lay just as you had, but with extended an arm for you to curl into.
You should have left. Gone back to your room. You’d gotten what you wanted.
And this was wrong. If it went too far, it could seriously hurt Jake. Make Josh impossibly angry with you for corrupting his brother. . .
But before you could even begin to move, focus too hard on any reasonable thought whatsoever, your head filled with Elsie’s voice, wise with the conversation you’d had that day, in the entryway. 
“I’m saying. . .what if it’s possible he could just want you in his bed and nothing else?” She’d scratched her head. “Would that hurt anything or anyone? I mean, you’ve made it seem to me that you don’t really have any emotional attachment to him. So if you did that, who would it hurt?”
You glanced up at his face, his eyes drooping to follow the sleep you were also craving. His lids fluttered against his smooth skin - his sharp features. Yeah, you were good on that, still . . . no emotional attachment. But he was nice to look at.
Your voice from that day sprang to your mind, fighting.
“Elsie, that’s a stupid plan that could go horribly wrong,” she’d gasped at your insult to her idea. And you’d leveled her with a stare. “And you know it.”
“I do, I do,” she’d reassured. “But what if you just cut it off when it starts to feel like too much?”
You looked to his hands, drumming mindlessly against his hard, tanned stomach. His mouth hummed an unknown tune. You wanted to sink into him. But you knew you could cut it off. You were a pro at that.
“You think I could do that?” You hadn’t been able to believe you were actually starting to give substance to her idea in your head. 
(And here you were doing it again.)
“You’re pretty damn good at burying things right down to the pits of hell, so. . .,” She’d blinked at you, almost innocently with her savage plan leaving her lips. “What’s the harm in giving it a shot? I mean, just one time, at least?”
So, you used your sister’s words from the past as your pass to let yourself be exactly where you wanted to be right now: in his warm, safe, strong arms. It had been now one time. You'd given it a shot. . .
But what if . . .?
And just as you settled into him, your cheek resting on his toned pec, his heart beating steadily underneath, you heard the last of Elsie’s words from that conversation, inspiring you even more to do this. 
To force some substance on this otherwise ridiculous, horrible idea. 
She’d glanced to the side, letting her eyes wander mysteriously for a second. “I think it would be good for you to live on the edge. Just once.” 
And that was all you needed in that sweet, quiet moment, letting yourself cozy up, right into Jake’s chest. . .feeling him kiss the crown of your head. 
Tomorrow could worry about itself.
Because right now? Right now, you were the most blissed out - the most comfortable you’d ever been. 
You weren’t fucking ready to lose this yet, dammit.
And as you drifted off, seconds later, his soft snores lulling you peacefully, you could only hope that he wasn’t ready to lose this—whatever the hell this was—yet, either. 
-🌼🌼🌼-
a/n: i'm so ready to share what's coming... i wish i could tell you guys (gn)!! it's killingggg me. anywayssss... please let me know your thoughts! you know i love hearing from you all :) &lt;3
(I will say, I've been giving sporadic hints from the first chapter of what's to come. . . hmmm. who thinks they can guess what's going to turn Reader's life upside down?)
if you’d like to be added to the taglist, please let me know!
& as usual, it wouldn’t let me tag some of y’all. :( so please check to see that you’re down there because if you’ve asked to be on the taglist, i tried to tag you. buuuut tumblr wouldn’t let me do it for everyone 🙃 ugh. and if i somehow forgot to tag someone, please also let me know that! (i'm a NOOB and i have terrible memory)
Taglist: @joshym, @gretavanfleetposts, @alyson814, @fretaganvleet, @lallisonl, @writingcold, @gvfpal, @twinszka, @jessicafg03, @reesetrippingthelight, @sacredjake, @laurenlovesgretavanfleet, @gretavangroove, @222headedcalf, @dreamssingold, @carbondancingthroughtime, @raviolilegs, @way-to-go-lad, @jakekiszkasmommy, @katgvf, @objectsinspvce, @jaketlover, @vanfleeter, @thetroublegetssloud71, @seditabets, @jakekiszkapunchmeintheface, @jaketlove, @ohgodthefeeling-gvf, @starcatcher-jake, @anythingforjtk, @lucimoo, @indigostreakmorgan, @gretavanbear, @katelynn-gvf, @alwaysonthemend, @aintthatapity, @bowievanfleet, @fwzco, @takenbythemadness, @cherry-icecreamsmile, @laneygvf
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fqiryspit · 1 year
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𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 , 𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧.𝐣
summary: you suppose that in this life you weren't meant to be happy, I guess the only thing to do now is wait for it to end.
cw: drabble not too long, angst, unplanned pregnancy, postpartum depression, cheating, ect.
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hard patches suck. everyone knows that. people fade from each other and grow on others for comfort. just human nature.
that's probably what got you through erens cheating. you can't just divorce him, not after you got this far.
goodness, you must have looked horrible. walking into couples therapy with a baby bump. you didn't mean to get pregnant. truly.
you think it's what made him stay. no, you know it's why he's in bed next to you. if you can even say that. you don't feel him. not anymore.
you don't have sex anymore. it doesn't bother you, you're too empty to yearn for sex and he doesn't want to touch you.
when you were bawling in bed about how he cheated, he came to comfort you and you let him in, he wrapped his arms around you and kissed your tear-soaked jaw while muttering "I'm so sorry"
you don't even know why you let him "make it up to you" by him putting his dick in you. now, your marriage is a wreck with a baby on the way. how nice.
his empty cold gaze when you told him didn't shock you but the question about couples therapy did. it was...nice...he cared.
but that's over now, you have a family. you're a mother, a wife. just keep doing that and you'll be happy, he'll be happy.
you think when the baby was born he got more distant. you didn't really care as he wasn't cheating, so you're relationship was fine. that's what you worked off of.
back to back sleeping and short conversations is what you lived off of. this is your life
what am I even saying?
you blinked, snapping out of whatever recap that took you away from what was in front of you. your baby boy.
you spun your head around to look at eren as he ties his tie in the mirror, a baby squirming in your hands brings your focus back once more as he reaches to tug on your hair
"no, baby" you mumbled, voice sore from only a few words per day. you pushed him to your chest, seeking warmth but as he whined and wiggled you realized he was too. you looked at him with emptiness, he needed his mother but you aren't that. that isn't something you can be right now. he reached up, grabbing a piece of your hair and tugging it. hard.
you winced and eren walks up to you, talking him from your hands
"you know, he got that from me" he starts, padding him on his back as he molds himself onto eren, he always did prefer his dad.
"mm," you respond, folding some baby clothes as he continues to mumble,
"my mom had to cut her hair short because I wouldn't stop, I'd just tug and tug and tug" his voice wandered off into a light whisper as he held him up to his face and moved attention to him
he placed him in your arms and reached a hand around your head to move you close for a dry kiss on your forehead, it was cold like always. he moved to the front door, grabbing the rest of his items before turning to you
"love you," he said as he looked into your eyes with what you can only describe as pity
"love you too." and that was that as he closed the door to living his life out there as you do in here.
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an: <3333
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mxtantrights · 7 months
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Dick Grayson pretty pls omg. Im feeling basic and cringy for nightwing x catgirl enemies to friends to lovers
you could never be cringy!!! I will accept this request and prove it to you (thanks for sending it in <3333)
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dick is probably the type to see the glaring similarities to him and you, and bruce and Selina. he can't not see it. doesn't mean he is weirded out by it though.
Dick probably didn't think much of it until someone else called him out on it. I like to think Damian said something. Like how he was following in his father's footsteps one night just in passing. And Dick had no idea what he meant but he was unnerved by the comment and started to pick apart every aspect of his life until he could understand what his little brother meant by it.
your not a villain per say... okay you might be a villain on Tuesdays and Thursdays because, why not, but on the other days it's fair play. You ran into nightwing on a Tuesday.
he doesn't try to 'fix' you or set you straight. He likes and admires that you know you cross the line sometimes to make things right. He wishes he could do that too sometimes.
you meet Dick, as a civilian, on Friday. It's no that that your paths haven't crossed before, it's just that there was no reason to talk to each other. Now there was, because you saw nightwing up-close and personal so you'd know that ass anywhere.
You decide to have some fun with it. You are nice to Dick Grayson and an endless tease nightwing. It's fun to know it's the same man underneath the mask that you’re toying with.
And at some point dick does put together that you know both his identities. One day you switch up your routine, trying to see if he’ll say anything, and you are overly nice to nightwing but a little teasing with dick. He realized then and there that you knew who he was.
Safe to say after that the two of you don’t have to have a big conversation about secret identities. The two of you just carry on the way you are.
You help him out when you can and when he’s okay with you crossing the line for him. And he helps you get access to more of what you want. He even told you once (you’re pretty sure it was on accident ) about a museum having a jewelry exhibit and it’s security being lackluster.
Overall the two of you never really disagree or fight each other.
Except once.
Once when Dick needed you not to cross that line between justice and vigilantism. You wouldn’t apologize and he wouldn’t tell you what was wrong with the hard punches this time. This disagreement doesn’t last long between the two of you. But it’s long enough for the both of you to realize how much you want to be in the others life.
Batman plays mediator. He is able to see both sides and explain that with the types of people you and dick are things aren’t always going to be easy and agreeable. But if he and Selina made it work for so long, you two could surely do better.
And then both of you try from that point to understand where the other is coming from and to not outline your differences for bad reasons but for good one s
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anincompletelist · 2 months
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happy wip wednesday! :D
once again got caught up in the excitement of finishing up bridesmaids so have not gotten a chance to read through these yet, but THANK YOU to @getmehighonmagic @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @priincebutt @onthewaytosomewhere @kiwiana-writes @suseagull04 @orchidscript @nocoastposts @littlemisskittentoes @ninzied FOR THE TAGS! I am looking forward to getting my popcorn ready and reading through all of your lovely words <3
this snippet is longer than I thought (oops) but I've been keeping this one pretty close to my chest and it has been clawing at the bars of its enclosure (the Docs) to get out into the world so HERE SHE IS:
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“With all due respect,” Alex hesitates, “if this client needs to remain so confidential, would you not just want to… ask them what they’d want? Cut out the middle man?” He readjusts the phone where it’s caught between his ear and his shoulder, stuffing the last of the groceries into his trunk. The pay-off really would be nice. “Not that I’m turning down the job at all.” 
Bea sighs. “That’s the thing, though— he already has everything he could possibly want. It isn’t— he doesn’t much care for material things, save for a few sentimental items he already has. I’ve tried to throw him parties and I’ve tried to work with his best friend to come up with something and I’ve gotten and made him one of everything known to man and it just—” she huffs, cutting herself off. “He would never act ungrateful for anything, but he— these past few years have been difficult for him and I haven’t been as present as I should be and I know a gift isn’t going to magically make up for that but birthdays are hard for him he just deserves something really, really good.” 
“Um,” Alex blinks at the concrete. 
“God, I’m so sorry. I’ve just given you a shitload of information that you never asked for, haven’t I?” 
“No, that’s— this is good. I can work with this,” he clears his throat, nodding to himself. “And I get the whole wanting-them-to-have-something-good thing, especially when it’s a sibling.” 
Bea’s line goes silent for a moment. “... Had I mentioned that it was my brother?” 
“Oh,” he blinks, gripping the phone a bit harder, “well, no. I don’t think so. I’m sorry for assuming, I just— you were talking about him the same way my sister talks about me so I just—” 
“Alex, please,” she laughs softly. “It’s alright. I’m glad that you haven’t already hung up on me, to be honest. I’m a bit all over the place at the moment.” 
“Maybe we should get that NDA out of the way before we continue then. Then you can feel free to be as unhinged as you want.” 
She snorts. “Yes, perhaps we should.” 
“Although, if you don’t mind, I always ask my clients how they found me for research purposes. So, can I ask—?” 
“As it turns out, professional gift-giving is a highly specific occupation, and you seem to be about the only legitimate looking one that managed to come up in the Google results.”
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OPEN TAG OPEN TAG but also! @firenati0n @affectionatelyrs @inexplicablymine @msmarvelouswinchester @bigassbowlingballhead @read-and-write- @happiness-of-the-pursuit @iboatedhere @matherines @sparklepocalypse @firstprincexo @raysletters @cricketnationrise @eusuntgratie @anchoredarchangel @rmd-writes <3333
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mazeinthemiroh · 10 months
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choi soobin boyfriend headcanons.
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genre: fluff, romance
word count: 0.7k
warnings: very fluffy
song rec: love of my life by harry styles
please like and reblog if you enjoy <3
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soobin is the sweetest, kindest, gentlest little dumpling ever
and by little, i mean 6'1
your big friendly giant
no because he's so adorable and despite his tall stature he doesn't have all that much confidence and doesn't really know what to do with himself, especially regarding social situations
so getting a date is hard for him
or at least he thinks it is
in reality, he doesn't really his shyness is a massive charming point for him, a quality he wouldn't quite expect to work to his advantage
and that's how he got you!
once he's finally in a relationship he's sooooo cliche when it comes to romance. buys bouquets of flowers, boxes of chocolates, a teddy bear, etc etc...
he just lives for the cute type of romance he has watched in dramas so many times before. he's not one to completely romanticise everything all the time, but he does see his perspective of life change when he has you by his side. he has a newfound appreciation for life that he didn't think he would ever be able to obtain.
he's a very good listener and prides himself in that. he understands that at times you would like to hear his thoughts and opinions, perhaps offering you some advice with a situation you're struggling in. but he also knows that sometimes you don't want any advice, you just want to vent to him, and he's fine sitting back and listening to you, providing support just by being there.
in the first couple of months, he might be too shy to initiate much physical touch, so if you are that type of person i think it'll be wise to either initiate it at first or, when he does give you light touches here and there, you encourage and reassure that it's okay and that you like it.
all he needs is little pieces of encouragement and affirmation that he's doing okay, and then he slowly but surely becomes confident in his relationship with you.
and when he becomes more comfortable he initiates more physical affection. he is especially fond of cuddles and surprisingly likes being the small spoon a lot despite his tall stature. there's something about being held by you that makes his heart flutter.
he's a very soft and fluffy boyfriend. lets you wear his clothes all the time without any objection because he loves it, blushing a little when he sees you in his hoodie for the first time. he just thinks it looks adorable on you and feels the intense urge to cuddle you so <3333
but any physical affection and cuddling of any sort are usually left for when you two are definitely alone because the amount of times the other members have come in to tease you both when they catch you snuggling up to each other is crazy, my guy deserves a break!
dates with him would include:
picnic dates - he loves sitting out with you in the sun, relaxing and taking in those rays while sharing some summer fruits together and just talking about absolutely anything. he knows it's simple as an idea, but he somehow makes every picnic date unique, perhaps bringing a little gift each time or going to a different place each time.
lunch-break dates - this includes activities like grabbing a coffee or a beat to it, or going for a walk with him. but be warned because those long legs of his do big and mighty strides so you'll have to tell him to walk a bit slower if you have little legs like i do 💀 the struggle is real.
board games - he likes things that people might not expect. obviously video games are fun but he feels board games are a great way to bond with anyone and actually involve you interacting with each other instead of staring at the screen. but he can be surprisingly competitive depending on the game so keep an eye out for that!
overall, he's a very soft boy and needs to be appreciated and loved always
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ssahotchnerr · 1 year
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So I’ve been daydreaming about missing Aaron, but, perks of being married to the boss, you make the office your home for the afternoon. Special privileges. Penelope will - without a doubt - bring you tea, and you’ll fall asleep on the couch across from Aaron’s desk to the sound of him quietly working and the ghost sensation of him gently tucking his suit jacket around you
I don’t know why, but the idea of falling asleep on Hotch’s office couch is so??? dear?? to?? me??? and that even while he’s working, one eye is keeping watch over you 🥹😭
this 🥹🥹🥹 taking a snooze on aaron's couch 😣 yes please. and yet again i am promising to make this into a full fic <3
cw; mentions of food
AH you're like the bau's own personal celebrity hehe 🫶🏻 everyone, and i mean everyone, knows who you are.
the team obviously already knew who you were, but all the other people who work there? it didn't take them very long to figure it out with how frequently you visit. but it did all start when you brought aaron lunch one day. he and the rest of the team had just been in the roundtable room, and as they were exiting, you were just entering the bullpen with lunch in hand. aaron's eyes instantly lit up when he saw you <3 he gave you that sweet smile of his, kisses you on the cheek and greets you "hi honey" 🥹🥹 before grabbing your hand and escorting you to his office.
again, literally everyone knows who you are. if you're entering the building, walking through a hallway or the bullpen, there's people saying hello and acknowledging you. you being there has simply become a normal thing. hehe you and aaron are known as the attractive power couple <3
penelope is basically your best friend. she's always ecstatic when you visit, she'll try and steal you from aaron's office to come hang out with her in her lair instead. since she has proudly taken on the roll of bringing you tea (AH hehe some days there's a lil competition between her and aaron, to see who brings you a cup first <333), she always make sure your favorite kind is in the bau's pantry. hehe and derek constantly teases you about being married to aaron🙄🥰 he'll joke around with you, asking you if there's a way you can get aaron to give them more vacation time, less paperwork, things like that. if you live in aaron's office??? - that's one of his favorites. he's always asking you if they're going to replace aaron's nameplate on the wall with your name instead🙄🥰
but the naps <333 hehe it makes aaron's heart flutter when he peeks up from paperwork and sees you, whether you're napping, working, reading, etc.. it helps him put his mind at ease. plus he's able to steal kisses from you whenever he likes 😌 while you get to be near him because missing him throughout the day just hurts too much. it's a win-win situation for you both <3 and the quiet small talk 🥹 of course you don't want to distract him, but there's just something so <3333 about aaron working, you lounging on the couch, and talking about everything and anything. hehe he gets so 🥹 when you're going on about something, but you're beginning to doze off. hehe your words are incoherent and mumbly and you're trying so so hard to stay awake but can't. when you finally fall silent, he'll get up from his chair, place his jacket or the spare blanket (kept in his office for instances like this) on you gently, and gives you a kiss on the head before going back to work.
in addition to the blanket, aaron keeps other things in his office for you as well 🥹 there's an extra copy of your favorite book, he has a drawer of snacks just for you, just different things you might randomly need while you're there.
plus!!! occasionally there's some after hours action <3333;) if no one else is around, and it just makes you love that couch even more hehe🥰
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hikari-writes · 11 months
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character: konoha akinori [haikyuu!!]
warning: none, just konoha comforting stressed out reader, comfort fluff
words: 1.7k
a/n: yes i am shamelessly promoting my "konoha akinori as the best housemate ever" agenda join my cult 🧍🧍🧍this is for @sugardaddyreo 's "The Home Collab" !!! i literally screamed when i saw the masterlist for this collab i cant believe i got a perfect opportunity to write abt roomie konoha my beloved aojdiwjdie so thank u so much for hosting!!! 🙏🙏 sorry this took a long time 😭😭but thanks to u i had lots of fun making it <3333 if im gonna be honest- i definitely ddint expect itd be this long ---
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You didn't talk much with Konoha Akinori. Not that you didn't want to, but it's more because of your clashing schedules. It's weird, considering the fact that you both share the same house, yet you can count with only two hands the number of times you have spoken to him.
Komi had been the one to introduce you to Konoha during your search for a house. 
"He could use a roommate or two to divide the house rent with," your friend grinned and you considered that it's not such a bad option. You had never met this Konoha guy before but if he's a best friend of Komi, you figured that he's gotta be a pretty decent person. 
And you were right. Well, sort of. You just assumed he was since you never had much interaction with him in the first place, even after 3 months of living together. You hate to admit it, but even after such a long time had passed, you barely knew anything about him besides his name. To say you two regarded each other as ghosts in your own house would sound like an overstatement, but it's sort of true.
With all that said, why was that Konoha Akinori holding your head against his chest, letting it rest there, while gently patting your back? 
Let me take you back to a few hours prior to this.
That week had been awful for you. Extremely awful. All you wanted to do after leaving your workplace was to curl up in your bed, and probably cry yourself to sleep. That’s all. But even dragging your body to your bedroom was too much of a work, so instead you settled on lying down on the living room sofa. Did you care that your housemate’s probably gonna see you in your miserable state out in the open? No, rather, you’d thought that he’s going to pretend like he didn’t see it. After all, it’s not as if you guys were close enough for him to inquire about your wellbeing.
You heard the creaking noise of your shared apartment’s door opening. Your face still buried deep into the sofa cushion, you ignored it. ‘He’s home much earlier today,’ you thought to yourself. As expected, you didn’t hear anything afterwards, and you assumed he’d made his way into his bedroom. But when you felt a presence sitting down beside the sofa, you came to the realisation that maybe your assumption had been wrong after all. 
A few seconds passed by with no words exchanged between you two. It made you think that maybe you were just imagining things and Konoha wasn’t really there besides you. Not too long after that however, he spoke up.
“Hey…are you alright?”
You could’ve just said yes and let him leave. You could’ve just made up an excuse on the spot, it’s really not that hard. Why would you need to confide in him when he’s just a stranger you’re sharing your living space with? But as soon as he asked that, a million different emotions washed over you in an instant. It’s a simple, and not to mention an overused question, but maybe that’s just what you needed at the moment. You couldn’t help the sob that escaped you. He wrapped his arms around your shaking figure, silently comforting you. At that moment, your soft weeping was the only thing echoing throughout the room.
And so, that was what led you to this point. He allowed your head to rest comfortably on his chest while he listened to whatever your problems had been. He was a good listener, and even offered encouraging words to help lift up your spirit. You never expected that, and you must admit that you were impressed. 
“Oh right, I almost forgot,” Konoha gently rose up from his seat after he was done talking, and it took all of your willpower to not stop him from leaving your side. Your eyes curiously followed him to the kitchen. He took out a tub of ice cream from the fridge, one that just happened to be your favourite flavour. After he took a couple of spoons from the cupboard, he made his way back to the living room where you were with a grin.   
“Thought this might help. It’s your favourite, right?”
You simply blinked at him, stunned. 
“How did you know that?”
“We’ve lived in the same apartment for months now, I think I would at least be able to notice this much,” his reply was nonchalant, but it made you feel a bit guilty since you never noticed anything about him. ‘Maybe he’s just really observant…or I’m the one who’s too ignorant of my own surroundings,’ you silently concluded. 
You took a spoonful of the ice cream, followed by Konoha, and could feel your heart lightening up just a little at the coolness of the dessert. Konoha began to reach for the tv remote and switched it on, going through a selection of shows that you both could enjoy together. You turned to him when a question popped up in your mind.
“I’ve never seen this one in the fridge before. Did you just buy it?”
He looked surprised by that question, and it took him a moment to reply to it. He coughed once, as if he’s trying to cover up his increasingly red cheeks.
“Well…yeah. Uh…It’s just…I noticed that this week you looked extremely tired. I thought that maybe buying you your favourite ice cream could help make you feel better so… I picked it up on my way home just now.” 
He looked away, embarrassed at his own confession. Either he’s really observant, just as you’d concluded earlier, or your fatigue and stress were that visible. Either way, you felt your heart swelled at his thoughtfulness. You choked back another sob before softly whispering a thank you. You weren’t sure whether he heard that or not, but from the corner of your eyes, you could see him turning his face back towards you and his hands softly placed atop your head.
A few more minutes passed by, and you could feel yourself calming down from the earlier outburst. With the ice cream tub in your hand and shoulder leaned against Konoha’s, you both continued to watch the show on the tv in silence, minus the occasional funny commentary you both gave towards the characters in the show. 
Despite the energy it took off of you for all that crying, your eyes didn’t feel quite sleepy yet. There was still something on your mind. You glanced at Konoha. He didn’t look like he’s about to fall asleep anytime soon either. 
“Hey, Konoha?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m..sorry.”
He looked at you with a puzzled look, so you continued.
“For burdening you with my problems even though we’ve barely even talked before. And speaking of that, I’m sorry for not trying harder to close the gap between us….even though we’re supposed to be housemates and all.”
Konoha looked contemplative for a moment before giving you a playful grin.
“If that’s the case, why don’t we start over then,” he replied with an outstretched hand.
“The name’s Konoha Akinori. I'm 24 years old and I work as an employee at a pharmaceutical company. I’ll be in your care from now on, roomie.”
You had to process his words for a moment before taking his outstretched hand in yours, shaking it.
“Same here…roomie.”
Your reply came with a grateful smile that graced your lips. It was the first time he’d seen that bright of a smile from you. He could feel the heavy weight in his chest lightening up. He'd been worried for you ever since he first noticed how distressed you were. Now that he finally saw the genuine smile on your face, he felt relief washed over his entire body and he found himself smiling alongside you.
"If anything ever gets too much for you, well…just know that I'm always here to help. Don’t shoulder them all by yourself.”
He ruffled your hair, messing it up even more than it already was, before standing up from the sofa.
“You should go to bed. It’s late already,” he suggested, eyes still on you. You were about to nod at his suggestion when he grinned cheekily. 
“Or if you’re having trouble sleeping, I can help lull you to sleep.”
‘...this little shit.’
You narrowed your eyes at him and racked your brain to come up with a snarky comeback. You stopped yourself when you came to a sudden conclusion.
“Sure.”
“What?”
“I’d love for you to sing me a lullaby. I do wonder what kind of angelic voice you have.”
It was your turn to tease him and his eyebrows squeezed together into a frown. He turned his face away from you, but you could still see his slightly red ears. You then made your way into your bedroom, with Konoha silently following behind you.
It’s funny now that you think about it. Just a few months ago, you were struggling to hold a proper conversation with him. But now, after properly talking to him for the first time for only a couple hours, you could easily tease each other like you’ve known each other your whole life. Talking with Konoha wasn't as stifling as you had feared. The reason you were able to talk to him so casually was also thanks to him making the flow of the conversation so natural. At that moment, you genuinely admired your housemate as the man that he is.
You climbed up onto your bed while Konoha took a nearby chair in your room and placed it at your bedside.
“So you’re actually going to sing me a lullaby?”
“Shaddup.”
He gently slapped a hand on your face, covering your eyes, before heaving a sigh and started singing. It was a gentle tune, and paired with his voice, it didn’t take you long to fall into a deep slumber. 
Once he saw your steady breathing, he stopped and took his hand off of your face. With his chin resting on his palm, he stared absentmindedly at your sleeping figure.
‘Did I just earn myself a housemate or a kid to babysit?’ He wondered to himself, gently scoffing at his own question. Right before he walked himself out of your room, he turned his head one last time and smiled.
“Sweet dreams, y/n.”
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idyllic-affections · 11 months
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i just read both of your muichiro works and I’m really impressed 😭😭💓, so I would like to request some thing. What would the reader (gender neutral pls) have to do to cheer giyuu,obanai and muichiro when they are is sad 
what might one need to do to raise the hashiras' spirits?
summary. how do you comfort the hashiras?
trigger & content warnings. no applicable warnings.
tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. reverse comfort. muichiro tokito & reader, kyojuro rengoku & reader, tengen uzui & reader. 0.7k words. no pronouns for reader.
author's thoughts. hello lovely!! thank you so much. muichiro is like... my favorite ever, so recieving praise for the content i write of him is so heart-warming <33 on a more serious note, please please remember to read my rules before requesting. like any writer, i have boundaries. it states who i do and don't write for, and as of right now, i'm just not comfortable writing for giyuu or obanai. i replaced them w/ kyojuro and tengen. muichiro's is the longest though bc i love my son <3333 also this is kind of a different writing style than my usual content? if you guys like it enough i might try to use it more often.
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T. MUICHIRO—
oh this boy. this poor boy.
i like to think that he goes through random bouts of sadness and frustration, especially before he regains his memory; he doesn't even know where his deep-seated rage towards demons come from! that fact just perpetuates his frustration. he can't understand why he's so angry and that only serves to anger him more.
also, let's not forget that he's a child. he is a fourteen-year-old child. he has a hard time processing his feelings and working through his trauma alone. children need love and support, love and support that he does not get enough of.
(the other hashira try their best, but let's be honest—they're all always so busy. they wouldn't realistically have time to attend to the emotional needs of a child.)
i don't care how independent canon muichiro seems to be.
he is a child. he grew up too fast.
to ease his soul, i think the best course of action would simply be to dote on him.
he needs the attention. he really does.
dote on him.
brush and braid his hair (braiding it would have practical value, after all!) with his permission, cook for him... just small, familial gestures.
he may or may not cry.
if he does, squeeze his hand and run your thumb over his knuckles. he's like a cat; do not make any further contact unless he initiates it first.
he probably won't vent because he doesn't know what's upsetting him. just let him cry it out. don't expect an explanation (and don't be surprised if he forgets about his breakdown soon after it happens).
give him a lil forehead kiss. he deserves it.
R. KYOJURO—
kyojuro is an interesting one!
i personally think that doing little domestic things with him would be a good way to cheer him up.
or even just doing things with him, spending time with him.
take a walk! go out to eat! make friendship bracelets! any activities done together are always a good bet with kyojuro.
simple little gestures are definitely the way to go, too. he's got a big heart. it's really not too hard to cheer him up, as long as your efforts are genuine.
also, definitely give him a big hug. he'd love that. squeeze him like your life depends on it. it won't hurt him; he's a hashira. he'll be fine.
i headcanon that he's a very good cook!
he is, however, a disaster with baking.
doing things like cooking and baking with him would raise his spirits so so effectively. trying to teach him how to bake would be really good for making him laugh, because i guaruntee that you & him would end up covered in flour and shit like that LMAO
be sure to listen to him talk if he decides on opening up. he'll appreciate having someone that listens.
U. TENGEN—
we all know this man is flashy and loud!
because of this, i think the best way to cheer him up would actually just be sitting in the silence with him.
no words, nothing. just calm silence between two friends.
observe the stars at night with him. listen to the wind rustle leaves and blades of grass.
anything that's simply low effort and relaxing would be good for him, i think. he's got so much energy all the time. tengen spends so much time being... loud and—obviously—flashy.
because of that, every now and then, he needs quiet time to recover.
he needs to decompress sometimes.
like kyojuro, i think he'd appreciate a good hug too. in his case though, it would be best and most effective to hug him once he's feeling better, not while he's feeling bad.
with his permission, massage the tension out of his shoulders. that would help too.
really, he just needs a judgement-free safe space in which he can wind down. i don't imagine him as the type to vent, so that's not something he'd be doing. he just needs someone who understands his need for the quiet, someone who won't pressure him to open up when he just isn't ready to.
he just needs a friend to be there for him.
please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!
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