#he really does care about her and he wants her to recognize her self-worth

[commsroom]

as an extension of how hera reads as trans to me, hera/eiffel resonates with me specifically as a relationship between a trans woman and a cis man. loving hera requires eiffel to decentralize his own perspective in a way that ties into both his overall character arc and the themes of the show.

pop culture is baked into the dna of wolf 359, into eiffel’s worldview, and in how it builds off of a sci-fi savvy audience’s assumptions: common character types, plot beats, or dynamics, why would a real person behave this way? how would a real person react to that? eiffel is the “everyman” who assumes himself to be the default. hera is the “AI who is more human than a lot of humans,” but it doesn’t feel patronizing because it isn’t a learned or moral quality; she is a fundamentally human person who is routinely dehumanized and internalizes that.

eiffel/hera as a romance is compelling to me because there is a narrative precedent for some guy/AI or robot woman relationships in a way i think mirrors some attitudes about trans women: it’s a male power fantasy about a subclass of women, or it’s a cautionary tale, or it’s a deconstruction of a power fantasy that criticizes the way men treat women as subservient, as property. but what does that pop culture landscape mean in the context of desire? If you are a regular person, attracted to a regular person, who really does care for you and wants to do right by you, but is deeply saturated in these expectations? how do you navigate that?

I think that, in itself, is an aspect of communication worth exploring. sometimes you won’t get it. sometimes you can’t. and that’s not irreconcilable, either. it’s something wolf 359 is keenly aware of, and, crucially, always sides with hera on. eiffel screws up. he says insensitive things without meaning to. often, hera will call him out on it, and he will defer to her. in the one case where he notably doesn’t, the show calls attention to it and makes him reflect. it’s not a coincidence that the opening of shut up and listen has eiffel being particularly dismissive of hera - the microaggression of separating her from “men and women” and the insistence on using his preferred title over hers. there are things eiffel has just never considered before, and caring for hera the way he does means he has to consider them. he's never met someone like hera, but media has given him a lot of preconceptions about what people like her might be like.

there’s a whole other discussion to be had about the gender dynamics of wolf 359, even in the ways the show tries to avoid directly addressing them, and how sexual autonomy in particular can’t fully be disentangled from explorations of AI women. i don’t think eiffel fully recognizes what comments like “wind-up girl” imply, and the show is not prepared to reconcile with it, but it’s interesting to me. in the context of transness (and also considering hera’s disability, two things i think need to be discussed together), i think it’s worth discussing how hera’s self image is at odds with the way people perceive her, her disconnect from physicality, how she can’t be touched by conventional means, and the ways in which eiffel and hera manage to bridge that gap.

even the desire for embodiment, and the autonomy and type of intimacy that comes with it, means something different when it’s something she has to fight for, to acquire, to become accustomed to, rather than a circumstance of her birth. i suppose the reason i don’t care for half measures in discussions re: hera and embodiment is also because, to me, it is in many ways symbolically a discussion about medical transition, and the social fear of what’s “lost” in transition, whether or not those things were even desired in the first place.

hera’s relationship with eiffel is unquestionably the most supportive and equal one she has, but there are still privileges, freedoms, and abilities he has that she doesn’t, and he forgets that sometimes. he will never share her experiences, but he can choose to defer to her, to unlearn his pop culture biases and instead recognize the real person in front of him, and to use his own privilege as a shield to advocate for her. the point, to me - what’s meaningful about it - is that love isn’t about inherent understanding, it’s about willingness to listen, and to communicate. and that’s very much at the heart of the show.

#wolf 359 #w359 #doug eiffel #hera wolf 359 #hera w359 #eiffera #i still have a lot more to say about this honestly. but i hope this makes sense as an overview of my perspective. #with the caveat that i understand how personal trans headcanons are and whatever brings you comfort in that regard. i think is wonderful #but to me eiffel is one of the most cis men imaginable. and that's a big part of what he means to me in this context. #when i said some of this to beth @hephaestuscrew the other day they said. minkowski missteps in talking to hera based on #a real world assumption about AIs while eiffel missteps based on pop culture assumptions. and i think that's a meaningful distinction and #is something that resonates with me in this context as well

[melonnabar]

MATT MURDOCK BPD STUDY??

From what I gauge with my own personal experience with having BPD, I think Matt possesses some borderline tendencies. I’m not diagnosing him really, mainly because while I have BPD, I am not a professional and not every one person’s experience with the disorder is the same as mine. Most of this is comparing the symptoms I have with some of the observations I’ve made with Matt from both the comics and the mcu show (and maybe a lil projection LOL)?? Will dump random comic panels in here as well :0

For a lot of people that have BPD, the main driving factors for 90% of everything is an intense fear of abandonment and a lack of self-worth.

Matt I think, does have a fear of abandonment, and it manifests in the form of him pushing others away despite him wanting otherwise. He assumes they’ll all just hate/reject him anyway. And this, he tells a lot of lies, keeps a lot of secrets from the people he cares about the most out of the fear that they might hate him and leave him even if it proves to be counterproductive. He wants to love people, and he wants to be loved back, but his fear of intimacy keeps him isolated from the people closest to him.

A lot of that definitely has to do with his mom abandoning him as a child, his father dying, and being raised by Stick. Stick beat into his brain that he should never trust people, that they’ll end up hurting him and leaving him anyway if they found out about what he was truly capable of with his senses, so why bother? (This is something shown more prominently in the show) And then he goes and abandons him too. That, and the prolonged verbal abuse from the only person he had left to latch onto definitely fucked up his brain.

When put into potentially triggering situations (such as being scrutinized/criticized by the people who care about him) I’ve recognized that he reacts like a person who’s been perpetually stuck with the defense mechanisms they’ve never grown out of as a child. As a kid, he wasn’t exactly allowed to lash out, to be upset, to have his feelings validated as a real person, and so all of that buildup he never got to properly experienced inevitably seeped into his adult life.

His self worth is basically nonexistent. He believes that he’s the devil, and as mentioned before, undeserving of any kind of love and attention from people. I also find it fascinating with the way he acts around different people. Most people generally do act differently depending on who they are hanging out with, but Matt transforms into a completely different person. Foggy has pointed out that when Matt is with Elektra, he becomes a worse person– that he gets more reckless, impulsive, and violent when he’s with her. I definitely believe that Matt was ‘living’ through his deep attachment to Elektra.

Matt suffers from a pattern of unstable interpersonal relationships. He either leaves them or fucks up something in the relationship (What Matt did to Milla as an example 😭) , they leave him, or they get killed. A lot of the turbulence in his relationships have to do with his mindset of his unwillingness to believe that they would choose to be with someone like him. It’s the “you’ll get hurt because of me” and the “why would you love a mess like me?” He’ll frequently get into heated arguments with the people around him, and sometimes he’ll end up saying something that’ll drive them out of his life. Matt will always regret it after, but will convince himself to avoid any further confrontations in a stressful situation because he doesn’t want to cause anymore trouble.

This pattern of thinking is pretty synonymous with the extremes of idealization and devaluation as well. Take his relationship with Foggy for example. Matt can go from putting Foggy on a pedestal and treating him as his “favorite person” to immediately holding contempt towards him and scowling at him (sometimes leaving too). He treats a lot of his his romantic partners like this too.

He is obviously extremely impulsive and is prone to fits of anger and violence. His entire nighttime career is dedicated to risky behavior and putting himself in a place where he’s literally just fighting the entire world even if he’s bleeding out half of the time. He knows that he’s slowly killing himself by going out and doing the things no one ever asked him to do, that he’s hurting himself, his relationships, his livelihood, but he can’t stop. I’m also 100% sure he experiences suicidal ideation straight up as well (it’s more explicitly shown/mentioned in the comics??)

Savior complex aside also, I think Matt only feels alive when he’s out there helping people, which in turn helps him cope with a lot of his psychological issues. I think feeling helpless and not doing enough is something that’ll eat away at him constantly if he doesn’t put on the suit.

Idk, sorry for the long rant?? I rly wanted to get this out for awhile, hope this is somewhat comprehensible 😭😭

#daredevil #matt murdock

[maxphilippa]

An small Knife Character Analysis.

"There's more than one ways to be an jerk."

Haven't been too focused on this guy due to my brain going bonkers on Mic, but I had some thoughts right now and I want to share them with you.

Kind of a long post but! It is worth it!

Something about him just wanting intimacy- craving it, wanting to be able to communicate his true feelings without being seen as a weakling or even as an hypocrite of sorts. Thinking how he really is deep down insecure (according to the ii site) and used to project that on the contestants. How he takes so much distance from them but still shows that he really cares about those who are vulnerable.

But no one has, ever listened to him. Perhaps because they're too into their own problems.

Perhaps because he never let anyone get to his heart.

Not even to Pickle.

Of course he softened up to him and shows his most genuine self when it comes to both Pickle & Mic, but...

He wasn't able at all to be vulnerable completely.

But. It's also how he does show that weakness with Mic-

He tells her that what Trophy did to him hurted his feelings. Hurting a jerk's feelings is a very big thing. But here's the thing; Knife represses those feelings and keeps the act no matter what.

But he still failed himself.

"I won't get involved", he got involved with Microphone and told her his own pains.

The whole talk he had with Suitcase- the "bunch of jerks" part. How he seems to be even angrier than Suitcase was at how Nickel was acting towards her.

How bitter he was with Trophy when he said "You're a jock and I'm a jerk" once BB defended him.

How hurt he was when Microphone still defended Taco.

How... how he told Pickle that if he held onto the past, he would never be able to grow and get better on the end.

In a way, Knife is a really good friend, a very smart player and a very clever guy.

He's too emotionally aware to let his feelings weight him down or interfere on his game- even if he's hurt by those whom he thought of as close (Microphone), even if he messed up things for someone he cared about (Suitcase).

In a way. I think that Knife does mean what he says to them. He does mean it a lot.

But, I also think that he may be saying what he wanted to hear when he needed that same type of comfort.

He feels alone. And he hasn't connected with anyone properly to say the least. Sure, cracking jokes, being teammates and encouraging them is something. But actual friendships?

Knife doesn't really. Have them. At all, at least.

You could also argue that it is because most people at the hotel are jerks- which made things more difficult for him. But having Pickle made things easier too.

If it were on canon terms- the good relationships he does have are with three guys, and he stopped talking properly with one of them, and two of them are at the Hotel now

He cared, but now they're not there anymore.

He cares so so much about everyone, but they're all so self centered- too into their own for him to actually get around their heads. He can't get that connection at all.

But.

Do you also realize how Knife's friendships are all with emotionally driven, emotionally vulnerable characters?

Whether they're good or bad emotions doesn't matter. But they don't truly think before acting. Which is the complete opposite of what Knife does.

But the best relationships he has are just so sad.

Nickel? He thinks too much and won't take in count the feelings of others- thinks too much on what could be the best for his team instead of what they truly want. He's shit at emotional stuff. Not like Knife.

Suitcase? Too emotion driven. Always wanting to make excuses- always wanting to be on good terms with everyone. Thinks with her heart most of times, and is scared to speak up her mind.

Microphone? ... She's his complete opposite. Loud, vulnerable and wants to be recognized for who she is. She's selfless. She's always thinking on what is best for others, and then thinks of herself. Heart driven.

Pickle? A sweetheart, naive but kind. Thinks of his friendships too highly, and is unable to let go of the past since it still hurts like hell. But he does want to get better. Heart driven.

Knife truly only got intimacy with Pickle and Mic.

But.

Who's to say that he isn't longing to be his true self?

Who's to say that he just doesn't want to cry his heart out and scream for days in the end?

Who's to say that he doesn't feel responsible to some degree?

He was always there for others.

But he never let himself be the one to be taken care of.

And I think that's just very important for his whole arc.

He is so emotionally repressed that he just wants to be there for those that need help too- he doesn't want them to feel alone. Even if they're stubborn as fuck.

So that's ALSO why Taco and Knife CAN'T even stand eachother.

Not only because of what Taco did to Pickle.

Knife is too emotionally aware.

Taco isn't.

Taco made both Pickle and Microphone like they were worthless due to her lack of understanding at emotions and such.

And you know what Knife did? He made them FEEL better.

He made sure they knew that they weren't broken- that they're not a mess, that they're not pathetic or a failure. That they're okay. That they will be okay with time.

That they should be kind to themselves.

Knife isn't kind to himself by any means.

So that's why he calls himself a jerk! He's being a jerk to himself in many ways!

Not letting himself form true friendships at all (he only truly did form one with Mic at the end since, she was out of the game and such), not letting himself show that he is in fact hurt, covering his sadness/pain with frustration or anger, doesn't let himself be vulnerable in the slighest, hides his own feelings all the time, doesn't show that he does also infact feel out of place on his team

Doesn't let himself show how much he craves company.

Because that's not what a jerk is.

But there's only so much he can truly do about it.

End of Analysis.

#inanimate insanity #ii #inanimate insanity invitational #inanimate insanity knife #Inanimate Insanity microphone #inanimate insanity pickle #inanimate insanity suitcase #inanimate insanity trophy #Inanimate Insanity taco #inanimate insanity nickel #ii knife #ii microphone #ii pickle #ii suitcase #ii nickel #ii taco #ii trophy #btw this isn't a hate post to taco. she is very well written but she's also a shit friend in canon. just wanted to clarify! #osc #object show #max overanalyzes characters

[callsign-bunnie]

Aledolfo angst headcanons

IDK. It’s what I’m good at

Fight a little more than the average couple. Both are fairly passionate people. They’re usually fighting because one of them was dumb and got hurt

There have been a few arguments where one left and the other was genuinely afraid it was over

In high school, Rodolfo got picked on quite a bit for being quiet and an easy target. He usually could handle it fine, but he developed self worth issues, under the surface, that will likely never heal.

Alejandro is fairly self destructive. He was outwardly destructive as a teenager which led to people he cared about being hurt so he learned to internalize it instead. This has culminated in drinking problems as well as other forms of self harm.

Rodolfo spent a small amount of time in high school feeling like he wouldn’t be good enough for Alejandro because he wasn’t cool and popular like he was

They actually drifted apart in grade 11 because of it. But, they reconnected in grade 12 before joining the military, together.

Rodolfo has actually almost died a fair few amount of times. He gets so caught up in what he’s doing that he ends up getting trapped.

Alejandro counts them off every time he gets drunk.

There was a period of time where most of the time they had sex it was because of an argument. They evened out, later, but it was not looking good for them

Alejandro is really self sacrificial. He doesn’t seem to get that as much as he’d like Rodolfo alive, Rodolfo would also like Alejandro alive.

Rodolfo spent a fair amount of the time in the safehouse genuinely questioning if Alejandro was dead. He didn’t think Graves would genuinely kill him, but it was in the back of his mind.

Rodolfo hates anytime Valeria is around because Alejandro spirals back into self destructive tendencies. He would have gotten rid of her a while ago if he knew it wouldn’t hurt Alejandro.

Rodolfo occasionally wakes up still choking on smoke and now instinctively checks to make sure there’s an exit point in case of fire in every room he’s in.

Alejandro still has a mild drinking problem. He’s got it under control for the most part but if he drinks, he has a hard time stopping, and ends up spiraling again.

Alejandro hasn’t gotten a good night’s sleep since he was 16. He can’t shut his brain off, long enough.

Rodolfo also doesn’t get good sleep, since he worries about Alejandro spiraling if he’s left alone with his mind for too long.

Rodolfo doesn’t recognize his own self negligence. He’s gone days without eating because there were, in his mind, more important things to worry about.

They argue a lot because Alejandro wants Rodolfo to take care of himself, and Rodolfo wants Alejandro not to push him away when he’s spiraling. 

The biggest argument of their entire relationship was because Alejandro realized he had been kind of neglecting Rodolfo and was upset that Rodolfo hadn’t bothered to even stick up for himself during it.

He does accept that he was being a hypocrite and Rodolfo does make a small effort not to take Alejandro’s shit.

Despite everything, their relationship is at it’s healthiest right now. And they get better and better.

#Alejandro Vargas #Rodolfo Parra #Alejandro x Rodolfo #Aledolfo #Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare II #Call Of Duty #angst #angst headcanon #queue again for dinner hunny?

[donnerpartyofone]

I keep thinking about this experience I had where it was apparent that somebody was attracted to me, and after I learned a little more about him I realized that he was chiefly attracted to a quality I find pretty repulsive and that was definitely not something I deliberately cultivated, that was in fact something I struggle to suppress. And even though I had no interest in that person I had all sorts of strange feelings about this experience: On the one hand I really resented that someone would like me for a reason I found pretty gross, and this made me feel fetishized or something in a way that was very uncool in my view. Then on the other hand I wondered if I was just being a snob and I should realize that everything about oneself can be lovable...and inevitably I'd just swing back to finding the whole thing kind of insulting. It's like being told, I don't know, "I love how dirty you are and how bad you stink," the fact that the speaker means it as a high compliment doesn't mean you have to appreciate it, just as you're under no obligation to be grateful for attention in general. Plus I don't think I can do the whole unconditional love of the entire self thing, I think self-criticism is what actually drives me to improve and become more aware and responsible. And then there's matters of taste, he has a right to his preferences and so do I even if mine seem more judgmental or "negative" or something.

My last shrink, who was so incompetent that she triggered a rolling psych episode that got kind of scary, would do this abject positivity thing to me that literally made me crazy. I'd be trying to untangle some difficult experience and she'd just bombard me with all this stuff about what a good person I am or "what if it's not YOU that's wrong, what if THE WORLD is wrong!", and I'd think...OK fine but that's beside the point? I just wanted to talk through this thing that fucked me up but never mind, you're right, I'm OK You're OK and as long as we agree on that then nothing is worth discussing. And then I was trying to talk to her about how I used to have this major dysfunctional behavior that was derailing my life and I recognized this and got control of it and I'm really proud of myself for that, and my shrink just kept going "But why are you saying behavior X was BAD? Why does it have to be WRONG?" like she was really sad and disappointed that I was criticizing myself and I just wanted to scream in her face It's bad BECAUSE I SAY SO! I'm the one who was harmed by it WHICH I JUST TOLD YOU ALL ABOUT and that's a perfectly good reason for me to say it was WRONG!

TL;DR:

1. Sometimes things about yourself are crummy and it is totally rational and even a form of self-care (🤢) to judge these things and want to change them.

2. Don't involve people in your fetishes if they aren't expressly interested; this includes just making it kind of obvious that you like a casual, platonic acquaintance for an unpopular sexual reason. It may not make them feel as complimented as you personally think it should.

[sergeantsporks]

Gilded Family

Rating: Teen and Up, Gen

Ch 26/?: Never Meet Your Heroes

Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3, Ch 4, Ch 5, Ch 6 , Ch 7, Ch 8, Ch 9, Ch 10, Ch 11, Ch 12, Ch 13, Ch 14, Ch 15, Ch 16, Ch 17,  Ch 18, Ch 19, Ch 20, Ch 21, Ch 22, Ch 23, Ch 24, Ch 25

In which none of the previous golden guards or wittebro died, actually, they're all fine and living happily together as one big dysfunctional family

Ao3

“You didn’t give me this scar,” Phoenix said slowly, “We’ve never met. This came from Belos. I failed a mission, and he got angry.” It had been his first lesson in the coven; failure wasn’t an option.

An emotion Phoenix couldn’t quite place sparked in Petro’s eyes—something like surprise, melancholy, and triumph rolled into one. “He really told you that?”

“That’s what happened!”

Caleb put a hand on Phoenix’s arm, and Phoenix realized his hands had curled into fists. “Deep breath. We can figure this out. What do you remember?”

Phoenix shifted uncomfortably, unsettled by Petro’s unflinching stare. “I—well—”

“Yeah,” Petro jeered, “What do you remember, little bird?”

A deeply sick, festering rot settled in Phoenix’s stomach at the nickname, though he couldn’t say why. “I took a hit to the head from Belos,” he growled. His arms ached, the wounds seeming to crawl under the bandages, “I don’t remember what happened exactly.”

“Ha!” Petro snorted. “You wish a blow to the head explained your intelligence.”

That stung a little more than Phoenix cared to admit. “Hey!”

Caleb’s hand tightened on Phoenix’s arm. “That’s enough. Either explain what happened, or stop making this worse.”

“You’d know all about making things worse, wouldn’t you, Caleb? If you’d stayed in the human realm where you belonged, none of this would have happened in the first place.”

Caleb jerked backwards as if he’d been slapped. “That’s—”

“I don’t know how you survived, or how you’re here. But I know that none of this would have happened without you.”

“That’s it,” Evelyn’s voice snapped. A wobbly golden spell circle drifted past Phoenix, passing through Petro. The guard’s head dropped to his chest.

“Well,” Sam said briskly, dusting his hands off, “He is deeply unpleasant. Thanks, Mom. Maybe we should make a gag?”

Evelyn took Caleb and Phoenix’s hands. “Don’t listen to him,” she said fiercely, “He’s just trying to get under your skin.”

Phoenix’s hands shook, and that rot in the pit of his stomach seemed to spread, making his stomach churn. “That doesn’t explain how he knew. He knew Caleb’s name, and he knew I was the golden guard after him. Him trying to get under our skin doesn’t explain why he recognized us, why he recognized my scar!”

“He’s not going to tell you. He knows he holds the cards, and he’s not going to share information without a price. It’s not worth whatever he wants.”

“Blabber serum,” Sam suggested, “We could get him to talk that way.”

“I don’t have the ingredients. And I’m sorry, Phoenix, but I’m not risking anyone’s freedom for them.” Evelyn tapped her chin. “I could try extracting memories—but I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for, which makes things more difficult.”

Phoenix eyed Petro, running through every interrogation tactic he’d ever been taught. Petro would know them, too—and probably more. He doubted very much that the grimwalker would talk without magic.

“What if I went into his mindscape?”

“What?”

“His mindscape,” Phoenix repeated, “Like Hunter did to Belos. I could find the memories, see what really happened.”

Caleb shook his head. “Absolutely not. Hunter nearly got killed in there!”

“Petro almost killed you just now, and that was after he’d just woken up from years as a statue,” Sam agreed, “You only survived because I was there. In the home field of his own mind? His inner self would destroy you.”

“So I’ll bring someone with me,” Phoenix insisted, “Safety in numbers. Sam?”

“Ha! No. While exploring a mindscape DOES sound intriguing, I prefer living. And I don’t know if glyphs would even work in there. And I’m not exactly built for hand-to-hand combat.”

The door creaked open. “He’s really awake,” Cherry murmured, “You really did it.”

Sam threw his hands up. “Why does everyone doubt me?!”

Evelyn’s eyes narrowed. “You know, it is impressive how you managed it. What glyph combo did you use? How did you create it?”

Sam’s bravado and indignation almost immediately swapped to a shiftier expression. “Oh. That’s not important.”

“Sam.”

Sam coughed. “I… found it in a book.”

“What book?”

“Um. Unclebelosdiary.”

“Come again.”

“I might have. Sort of. Maybe. Stolen one of Uncle’s journals? When we were at the head? And the glyph was in there?”

Evelyn took a deep breath and slowly released it. “You tested an unknown glyph from Phillip’s diary?!”

“Well. When you say it like that, it doesn’t sound like nearly as good of an idea.”

Phoenix raised a hand. “Does it matter? He’s not stone now. I need to find out what happened, why he thinks that he attacked me. And the only way we’ll get that information is if I go into his mindscape, dangerous or no.”

Evelyn shook her head. “Why is it so important to you, Phoenix?”

“I…” Phoenix took a deep breath, trying to organize his thoughts. Why was it important? Petro could be making the whole thing up just to mess with him, just like everyone had said. But somehow, that didn’t seem right. Something about the way that Petro stared at him made him think it was the truth. Or at least Petro thought it was the truth.

“He thinks he attacked me. But I haven’t seen him until now—and I think I’d remember him. If Belos did something to him, something to make him more hostile, then maybe we can fix it in his mindscape.”

“And what if he didn’t?” Caleb asked softly, “What if Petro’s right, and something’s happened to your memories?”

Then what? Okay, so one more person had tried to kill him in a long line of people who’d tried to kill him. They’d have to keep Petro tied up, or at least somewhere he couldn’t hurt anyone. What else?

“Then I need to know,” Phoenix replied, equally softly, “I need to know what I’m missing.”

“I could go with him,” Cherry offered, “If the issue is that it’s dangerous, I could provide support. Watch his back.”

Phoenix twisted to look at him. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. I agree with you, if there’s a chance that Belos altered his mind, if there’s a chance that we can make things right for him, then we should take it.”

Caleb’s eyes flicked over Cherry’s face. “…It’s going to be dangerous.”

“That’s why I’m going. Phoenix and I can handle it if we work together.”

Evelyn chewed her lip. “Cherry, are you… I want to help him too, but if he really does want to kill Phoenix—”

“No one’s beyond saving. Right?”

Evelyn didn’t respond.

“Right,” Caleb agreed, “Evelyn?”

She crossed her arms. “I don’t like it.”

Phoenix met her eyes, burning gold despite the bags around them. “Please.”

I need to know.

Evelyn broke the stare first. “Sam, do you have something in here that makes a lot of noise?”

“You could take Lake and Locke.”

“Sam.”

“I got it, I got it.” Sam hurried to a shelf, opening a small box and removing a metal ball. “If you shake it, it chimes,” he explained, “It’s pretty loud. But I don’t know how you’re planning on getting in there, those rebels used potions that I don’t know if I can replic—”

“I can do it,” Evelyn interrupted, “Just… stand back. Are you two ready?”

Cherry took the noisemaker from Sam. “Ready.”

Caleb clapped his shoulder. “Keep each other safe.”

“I will.”

Evelyn sighed. “This is a bad idea.”

“I know,” Phoenix told her. It was. Sam was right, if he ended up encountering Petro’s inner self, he’d be fighting on Petro’s home turf.

I need to know.

“Alright. As long as you know. Ring that ball when you’re ready, or if you get into any trouble. And stick together, do you hear?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Evelyn shook her head. “Here we go.” She drew a circle in the air, and the world seemed to blow up around Phoenix, growing in size. Sam’s glasses were like great big moons in the sky above him, and then he stood on a barren plain, mottled with pools of water. Evelyn, Caleb, Sam, and the lab all gone in the blink of an eye, replaced with nothing but empty space.

“Huh.” Phoenix could barely hear himself over the sound of wind howling across the empty space. “It’s very… open.”

Cherry knelt down next to a pool of water. “I think these are his memories. Look.”

Phoenix squatted next to him, wincing at the pop of his knees. The water shimmered and rippled, and a golden guard accepted a staff from a familiar gauntlet, shadowed by the rest of the water. “There’s a lot of pools to look through.”

“How would we tell if something was wrong with one?”

“Muddy image?” Phoenix suggested, “Evaporated water?”

“You don’t know?”

Phoenix scratched the back of his head, flushing. “Well—everyone’s different. There wouldn’t be a clear-cut answer of what exactly we’re looking for. Just… any kind of deviation from the normal, I guess.”

Cherry stood, brushing his knees off. “It would be quicker to split up, divide into sections. But I don’t want to be caught alone by Petro’s inner self. And Mom said to stick together.”

Phoenix scuffed an x into the dirt next to the pool. “So we know which ones we’ve seen,” he explained.

“Good idea.” Cherry scanned the area. “We’re in the middle, I think.”

“Spiral pattern search?”

“Spiral pattern search,” Cherry agreed. He rubbed his arms. “Do you think it’s weird that we can’t see his inner self? It’s wide open here—I can see for miles.”

“Maybe it’s asleep because he is?”

“Mm. Lets hope he doesn’t start to dream.”

Phoenix moved one pool out. Belos’ whole profile was in this one, framed by a glowing circle of light. He was extending a hand to what had to be a younger Petro, scrawny and covered in bruises and scrapes. Phoenix marked the bank with an x and moved onto the next one at the roughly the same distance from the center pool. An older Petro, his cloak stained with blood, and three bodies beneath him. Phoenix shuddered. Looked like those stories about him were true, down to the kill counts.

Cherry marked the memory this time. The two continued in a spiral pattern from the center, crossing off memory after memory. Petro with coven heads. Petro standing beside the throne. Petro leading a violent battle against a hoard of demons.

Cherry threw an arm out, stopping Phoenix dead in his tracks. “I think I found it.”

The image rippling across the water wasn’t of Phoenix. It was of a book, the book Sam had, and a page flipped open to Grimwalker #24. Phoenix did a quick mental count of the grimwalkers in the house.

“That’s me,” he agreed, “Should we…?”

“It doesn’t look corrupted. But maybe you’re not in this one? Maybe this is just how he found out about you.”

Phoenix touched his scar. “…Do you think Belos killed him for knowing?”

“One way to find out.” Cherry gingerly poked the water. “How deep do you think it is?”

Phoenix shrugged, and started to splash in. “We’ll only find out if we—”

The ground disappeared beneath him, and he plunged into the water, tumbling head over heels into a familiar street. Cherry landed next to him seconds later.

“Titan, Phoenix. I thought you were drowning!”

“It was… deeper than I expected.” Phoenix craned his neck, looking upwards. “How do we get out?”

“Maybe we watch through the memory?” Cherry suggested, “Where are we? This is past my time.”

Phoenix walked through the streets, his boots making no noise on the paved street of the memory. “Little town. Set up after the Empire. There’s an orphanage here, it was set up for kids whose parents died in the war against wild magic.”

“Oh.” Cherry followed him. “That’s… nice?”

“Hm. But why…”

Most of the faces passed by fuzzy and indistinct until Phoenix led them to a square lot where a gaggle of witchlets and demonlings were chasing after one witchlet with a ball.

Cherry gasped next to him. “That’s…”

“Me,” Phoenix supplied. He watched the witchlet run, dodging the grasping hands of his peers only for plants to sprout out of the ground, yanking him off the ground and upside down, “I think I’m… twelve? Thirteen?” He started to pace back and forth. “This doesn’t make sense. I remember this, I remember this game, I remember that stupid plant. Why would Petro remember?!”

Another witchlet ripped the ball out of younger Phoenix’s arms. “I win!” He waved his arms, and above him, the plants waved as well, shaking Phoenix back and forth. “Whoooo!”

Cherry winced. “Your friends… don’t seem very nice.”

Phoenix crossed his arms. “They weren’t my friends,” he grumbled. He sounded petulant, and he knew it, but he’d meant what he’d said to the Collector—he hadn’t been sorry to hear that the orphanage was gone, and he hadn’t been sorry to leave it behind.

Another witchlet around Phoenix’s age tugged on his arms, successfully disentangling him from the plant. “Ready for another round?”

Little Phoenix brushed himself off. “Why do I always have to be the wild witch?”

She bopped his nose. “Because you don’t have any magic, and the rest of us need to practice ours.”

“Wouldn’t it make more sense for someone with magic to be the wild witch? Since a real wild witch would use magic to get away?”

She shrugged. “Tough luck. Everyone voted, and you got voted the wild witch. For what it’s worth, I voted for Dillon.”

Dillon stuck his tongue out at her.

“Who’s that?” Cherry whispered.

“Victoria.” Phoenix rubbed his arms. “She was the closest any of the kids came to being nice to me, but…”

The next round of the game started, and Victoria drew a circle. A spur of rock shot out of the ground, slamming into the ball in Phoenix’s hands. It popped up, smacking Phoenix in the face, then shot over the fence of the lot.

“Ow!”

“…She still wasn’t great.”

“Victoria,” one of the other witchlets groaned.

“Sorry!” She clapped Phoenix on the shoulder. “Can you go get it?”

Little Phoenix held his nose. “We said no face shots!”

“Yeah… sorry about that, didn’t mean for it to pop you one. Give you a boost?”

Phoenix sighed. “Yeah, I’m on it,” he grumbled, running towards the fence.

“Get back quick!” Victoria drew a circle, and the ground rose underneath Phoenix, pushing him up high enough that he could scramble over the top of the fence with ease.

An older witch poked her head into the lot. “Time to go back. Everyone here? None of you left the lot, did you? Show of hands, let me count.”

Victoria slid into the middle of the gaggle of kids, raising both of her hands.

Cherry coughed. “Is she trying to get you left behind?!”

“Nah, we weren’t supposed to leave the lot, even if something flew out. I’d get in trouble if she noticed I was gone.”

“Ten… eleven… Okay. Everyone go back, single file. I’m watching you, Dillon.”

Cherry tugged on Phoenix’s sleeve, pointing up at the top of a building. The golden guard perched atop the roof, watching the kids leave. Then he slipped down into the area behind the lot fence. Cherry swore.

“He’s going after you.”

Phoenix bolted around the side of the fence. “That doesn’t make sense, I got the ball, then… then…”

What had happened after that? The fire? Phoenix frowned, struggling to push his memory back. It hadn’t seemed important. Not worth remembering. It was just one game he’d played when he was a kid, the only reason he really remembered it happening now was because he’d seen it.

Little Phoenix heaved the ball back over the fence. “Victoria! Give me a boost back up! Victoria!” He stopped, then kicked the fence. “They left, didn’t they?”

“Yeah, you’ve been ditched, kid.”

Phoenix whirled around. Petro, dressed head to toe in golden guard regalia, pushed off of a wall, slowly approaching Phoenix’s younger self, who gasped.

“You’re-!” he squeaked, “I—Hi! Wow! Hi!”

Phoenix reached for his younger self’s shoulder, wishing he could stop him, but his hand passed right through, and the other Phoenix ran up to the Golden Guard.

“Are you chasing a wild witch? Can I help? Sir? Hi, sorry, you probably don’t want me to help. Oh, they are never going to believe this.” Little Phoenix drooped. “Man. They’re never going to believe it.”

“You know, I actually am chasing someone. Someone who’s threatening to get rid of me.”

Little Phoenix snorted. “Like someone could do that. Sir.”

“Mmm, yeah. But I don’t like leaving that chance out there.”

Silver glinted in the dim glow of a streetlight, and Petro lashed out with a jagged, crooked knife.

Little Phoenix jumped back just in time, slowly backing away. “…Golden Guard? Sir?”

“You’re not the brightest, are you, kid? Here, let me spell it out. I’m going to kill you. And no one will ever find your body!” Petro stepped to the side, leaving a pathway out of the alleyway. “Go ahead and fly, little bird. If you can get away, then maybe you should replace me.”

Phoenix ran for it, shooting by Petro. As he passed the guard, Petro swept his legs out from under him, grabbing his arm as he fell. “Guess not.”

“Phoenix,” Cherry yipped, “Phoenix, too tight.”

Phoenix didn’t know when he’d grabbed Cherry’s arm, but his fingers were digging into the other grimwalker’s flesh. He slowly relaxed his grip, forcing his fingers to loosen.

“I don’t remember. Why don’t I remember?!” he demanded, “Why…?”

Little Phoenix yanked at Petro’s grip. “Let me go! Let me go, let me—” he lunged forward, sinking his teeth into Petro’s gloved hand. “Mrgh! Me! Gro!”

Petro slammed the front of his mask into Phoenix’s face, and Phoenix let go, falling back. “Hngh—”

Petro twisted his captive’s arm, and Phoenix flinched as his younger self cried out, very nearly covering the sound of cracking bone.

Petro flung little Phoenix to the side, stalking towards him. “You can’t replace me,” he snarled, “You could never replace me!”

Phoenix crawled away, choking on tears and clutching his wounded arm to his chest. “I won’t—I won’t—I promise—”

Petro hefted his knife. “Yeah. You won’t.”

“Stop!”

Victoria ran through Phoenix. “Stop!” she repeated, skidding in-between Petro and Phoenix, “He’s not really a wild witch, I promise! It was just a game! It was just a game, please don’t hurt him! He doesn’t even have magic, he’s not a wild witch!”

“No,” Phoenix murmured, “No, no, this never… She never came back for me before, why would she come back for me?!”

Petro heaved a long, exasperated sigh. “Oh, great. Now there’s a witness. Hey, are you an orphan, too? Is anyone going to notice if you go missing?”

Victoria backed away, fear flashing in her eyes. “Leave us alone!”

She drew a wobbly circle, and a spur of rock shot up, ramming right between Petro’s legs. He doubled over with a howl, and Victoria dashed past him, grabbing Phoenix’s good arm and hauling him up to his feet. “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” She wrapped one arm around his shoulders, hustling him away.

Run, Phoenix wanted to scream at his younger self, but this was before his coven training. This was before he got used to working through pain, used to sustaining broken bones and tearing wounds. And little Phoenix was white with pain, moving at a speedy hobble at best and wincing with every step.

Petro straightened up, and even without being able to see his face, Phoenix knew he was grimacing. “Oh, no, you don’t,” he snarled. He lunged forward, grabbing Victoria’s arm and yanking her away from Phoenix. “You’ll pay for that, brat.” He whipped his arm around, slamming Victoria into the alley wall. She squeaked, gasping for air, and Petro raised his knife again. “No witnesses.”

“No!”

Small Phoenix jumped up, grabbing Petro’s arm with his good hand. It didn’t even wrap all the way around Petro’s arm, but still, he pulled back with all of the might his scrawny little body could muster. “Don’t—hurt—her—”

Petro suddenly gave way to Phoenix’s pull, switching his grip and stabbing backwards. The knife sank into Phoenix’s face just above his eyelid, and Petro pulled up, flicking the blade through Phoenix’s eyebrow. Phoenix screamed and fell backwards, clutching his face.

Phoenix hissed in, touching the scar on his own face. That feeling of rot was spreading through his stomach again, moving up to his lungs and making each breath a herculean effort. His younger self curled up in a ball on the floor, blood leaking between his fingers.

“Are you stupid?” Petro snarled, “You could have run and saved yourself, but you gave it up for what, for her?!”

Little Phoenix let out a guttural moan, tears dripping from his good eye.

I was so small.

I’m smaller than Hunter was, even.

“She’d leave if I let her,” Petro snarled, “She only helped you because she thought she could get away with it. She’d abandon you if I told her she could go free. You could have done the same.”

“Please,” Victoria whispered, “You’re supposed to be the good guy. You’re supposed to protect us!”

“Yeah, well.” Petro bent down, putting his palms on her face. “Tough lesson. There’s only one person whose safety I value over my own. And it’s certainly not you.”

He twisted his hands, and Phoenix clutched Cherry’s arm again as the crack of Victoria’s neck snapping echoed in the alleyway. Cherry clutched his arm just as tightly, supporting him.

“He was toying with you,” Cherry whispered, “This whole time—”

“He killed her,” Phoenix gasped, “He killed her—I thought she was alive this whole time, I thought…”

Small Phoenix screamed, his good eye fixed on Victoria’s body. “Hngh—hrngh—”

Petro snorted. “Look at you. You’re pathetic. You can’t even stomach a little gore. You couldn’t even start to replace me.” He twirled his knife. “Goodbye, little bird. Time to fly with your friend.”

A familiar form twisted up between Petro and Phoenix, and a cold, impartial mask stared down at Petro. Even knowing it was a memory, Phoenix felt sick seeing that mask, felt like its eyes could still burn holes in him. Cherry stiffened, his grip on Phoenix tightening.

“Hunter.”

Petro’s grip on the knife tightened, then released, dropping the dagger to the floor. “Emperor Belos. I didn’t think you’d—”

“If you’re going to use my notes to find someone, and you don’t want me realizing, I’d suggest copying them down rather than ripping them out of my journal.”

Behind Belos, Phoenix staggered to his feet, blood still dripping down his face. Phoenix could see that his younger self was biting his lip, trying not to make any sound, but a small gasp of pain escaped him when he took a step, and the emperor’s attention shifted to him. “And where do you think you’re going?”

Belos drew a spell circle, and Phoenix’s eyes rolled back in his head. Belos caught him, scooping him up in his arms.

“Well, you have moved the schedule up, haven’t you, Hunter? You always were taking initiative. No helping it now, I suppose.” Emperor Belos turned on his heel, still holding Phoenix. “Go burn that filthy orphanage down to the ground, and make sure no one gets out. Then come back to the keep. Obviously, we have a lot to discuss.”

“Sir.”

Phoenix felt himself being pulled upwards, like a current had caught him, and his head broke the surface of the pool. He hauled himself out of the water, turning to drag Cherry out behind him. Neither of them said anything, they just sat and stared at the pool of water, serenely shimmering with the image of the journal, and the pages Petro must have torn out.

“He burned it down,” Phoenix murmured, half-dazed, “I thought it was an accident. I thought most of them must have gotten out.”

“Belos didn’t like leaving loose ends,” Cherry croaked, “He wouldn’t want anyone who remembered you to be left breathing.” He put his head in his hands. “Titan.”

“Yeah,” Phoenix agreed bleakly. “I can’t believe Victoria did that for me. I can’t believe I forgot that she did that for me! And he…” Phoenix’s hand drifted back to his scar.

He really tried to kill me

He found the journal, he knew what he was, what Belos was, and still.

He tried to kill me.

“Still think Petro’s the one with the faulty memories?”

Phoenix flopped backwards to the ground with a groan. “I don’t know. There’s nothing wrong with this pool. Maybe there’s something wrong with me. Even seeing it, I don’t remember this happening. I can’t—how could I forget?!”

“One more pool? To find out?”

Phoenix hauled himself up, his stomach hollow. Could it get any worse? “Okay. One more.”

This time, Cherry was the first to jump into the memory, and Phoenix followed after. He glanced around the plains again for Petro’s inner self, but there was still nothing but wind and water. He ducked under the water and landed in Belos’ robing room, a small, but comfortable room off to the side of the throne room. Phoenix had only been inside once or twice, but he recognized the spare mask hanging from the walls. His younger self lay curled up in a ball on a chair, still asleep from the spell. His head had stopped bleeding, but no one had done anything to clean or bandage the wound.

Belos paced in front of Petro, both of them now maskless. “What exactly was your plan, Hunter, hm? You must have known I would have found out eventually. And if you’ve read my journal, you know I can make another.”

Petro sniffed. “Can’t do that without your bones, can you?”

Belos stopped pacing, and Phoenix winced, recognizing the calm, cold rage that always came just before an attack. “What. Did you. Do.”

Petro’s eyes glinted with satisfaction. “I destroyed them,” he spat, “I destroyed them, so now you have to make a choice. I can keep going. I don’t care that you were going to replace me, not if you say you won’t now. You can choose me. You can kill that useless brat bleeding all over your armchair, and I will keep going, I will keep being your guard. Or, you can choose him. You can choose him, and you can watch your empire fall apart. He’s spineless and soft. I can guarantee that he will fail you. He will fail you, and he will fail you, and he will fail you. He could never do what I could, he could never do the things I did for you. He doesn’t have the stomach for it. Are you willing to take that risk? I don’t plan on betraying you, like all of your other experiments. Even knowing it all. Do you think he’ll feel the same? I’m your safest option, your only option!”

Belos’ face shifted ever-so-slightly, and Petro’s brow darkened.

“What,” he snarled, “What are you hiding?” He must have picked up on something in Belos’ face that Phoenix couldn’t, because he hissed in, squeezing his eyes shut. “How many?” he growled, “How many do you have already made?”

“This one came in a batch of three. The other two are still dormant.”

“Two?” Phoenix mouthed to Cherry. That couldn’t be right. Hunter, the current Hunter, had been the last Grimwalker.

Cherry shook his head, frowning.

Petro spread his hands with a laugh bordering on hysteric. “Well, that’s just perfect. Isn’t it? Kill this one. Do it! Why not?! You’ve still got two backups for if I go rogue and try to kill you, right?!”

“And risk you killing your other brothers?”

Petro glared at the sleeping Phoenix. “That thing,” he spat, “is not my brother. And they’re not yours, either.”

“Oh?”

“They’re soldiers. And I’m a soldier. And you can’t ever—” Petro’s voice caught in a snarl. “—judge me for killing my brother, Phillip. After all, isn’t that why you need us, anyway? To replace the brother you killed? I read the journal, Phillip. None of us will ever be Caleb, no matter how you try to raise us, so you may as well just accept us as soldiers, and that means starting with the reality that he”— Petro jabbed a finger at Phoenix—“will never be able to live up to me, and your empire will fall apart without me to enforce your will.” Petro put his mask back on, crossing his arms. “So what’s it going to be, Uncle?”

Belos turned towards Phoenix. “You’ve gotten very bold, golden guard.”

“Titan knows we’ve been through enough for me to earn it. I think the things I’ve done for you and the hits I’ve taken for you entitles me to getting angry over you trying to replace me. You know you wouldn’t have this empire without me.”

“No,” Belos murmured, “I suppose I wouldn’t.”

“And you know you won’t be able to keep it without me.”

“Hm.” Belos pivoted, drawing a circle. It glowed red over his finger, and stone started to spread over Petro’s body, starting with his feet. “Well, we’ll have to see about that, won’t we?”

“You—” Petro growled.

“You’re too much of a liability. Like you said, you were there for everything—you know quite a bit about where I started from. And, of course, I really can’t have you trying to kill my remaining backups. You’ve set up the empire. Now I need someone who looks good to my subjects and isn’t, oh, murdering war orphans in the street? Perhaps it’s time I got a soldier with a little less spine, since yours is so rigid it won’t bend to me anymore.”

The stone covered Petro’s waist, starting to dull his armor. “Fine. You’ve made your choice. And what do you think you’re going to tell him about me, huh? About why I attacked him? About why you had me burn his whole pathetic orphanage to the ground? Do you think he’ll understand? Do you think he’ll love the fact that you’ve got replacements lined up for him?”

“Oh.” Belos shrugged. “I supposed I’d wipe his memory. There’s a young plant witch floating about in the coven who makes a delightful brew that erases select memories. He’s young, and young minds are so easy to shape. He’ll believe whatever I tell him happened. After all, he won’t have any memories to the contrary.”

“Terra,” Phoenix growled, “Of course. Why am I not surprised she was involved?”

The stone had spread up to Petro’s neck now, but still he kept talking. “Do one thing for me, huh? One thing for the soldier who gave you everything?”

Something like a smile flitted across Belos’ face. “Oh? A final request?”

“Don’t lie about the scar that’ll leave,” Petro spat. The stone crept up his mask, but he kept talking. “Tell him family gave it to him. Let him know that your family isn’t your friend, and they’ll cut you deeper than any enemy.”

Something yanked on Phoenix’s ponytail, tugging him up and out of the memory. Phoenix sputtered, spitting out memory water and grabbing the hand wrapped in his hair before it could yank again.

“Like what you see?” Petro hissed, “Does it make you feel better to know that he chose you? It makes me feel better to know that you betrayed him just like I said you would. I never would have hurt him. Never.”

Phoenix twisted Petro’s wrist, forcing him to let go of his hair. “You tried to kill me!”

Petro took another swing at him with his fist. “And I’ll finish the job. No one replaces me.”

Phoenix dodged his swing, and took his own, slamming the palm of his hand into Petro’s nose. “You knew what he’d done?! You knew that he’d killed us, you knew that he’d planned your replacement, that he planned to kill you, too, and you came after me?!”

Petro stumbled back with a grunt. “Oh, like you wouldn’t kill the guy who replaced you?”

���No!” Phoenix spread his hands out. “I wouldn’t. I didn’t! How could you even—I would never hurt Hunter, I wanted him away, away from the coven, away from Belos, away from all the things we went through!”

Petro took the opportunity to attack, slamming his shoulder into Phoenix’s gut and grabbing him in a headlock. “And you don’t think part of you wanted that because you were jealous of the brat?”

Phoenix stomped on Petro’s instep and threw an elbow into his gut. “No!”

“Well, aren’t you just a stellar person, little bird.”

“You—could have—been—too!” Phoenix broke free of Petro’s headlock, keeping his distance.

Cherry, where are you?!

“You knew about me. You knew what Belos would do to you, what he’d do to me! You didn’t have to stay! You could have run, you could have taken me with you! I would have gone, you were my hero! We could have gone away from all of it, we could have gone back for Hunter!”

Petro moved quickly to close the gap between them, driving his fist right under Phoenix’s ribcage. Phoenix doubled over, gasping for air. Spots danced in front of his eyes. Petro grabbed Phoenix’s arms, twisting them behind his back and forcing him down. “And where would we have gone?” he hissed, “Where, in the glorious empire I made, could two powerless witches—three, four, even, if we did go back for the others—hide from the most powerful man on the isles?”

Phoenix winced as Petro twisted his arms just a little too hard. “We—could have—tried—” he gasped, “I—would have—for Hunter—If I could have saved him from what happened to me, to us—”

“Then you’re still as stupid as you were as a kid,” Petro snarled, “You’re still soft.”

“You—could have—”

Petro twisted harder, and one of the pools rose up towards Phoenix’s face, the very landscape around them responding to Petro’s will. “You got to be soft because I did the hard part. You got to care because I didn’t. If our roles were reversed, you’d be just like me, so don’t pretend you have some—some moral high ground!”

“We can’t reverse your roles, but we can give you a second chance to live that better life.”

Phoenix twisted his head to see Cherry finally climbing out of the water. The memory must have finally ended on its own and let him out. Cherry held his hands up, approaching Petro slowly.

“You don’t have to do this. Let Phoenix go.”

Petro shoved Phoenix’s head closer to the water. “One step closer and I drown him!”

Cherry stopped, still holding his hands up. “Belos is dead, Petro. Killing Phoenix won’t make you his golden guard again.”

Petro went stock still, holding Phoenix inches from the water. “He’s dead?”

“He’s dead,” Cherry repeated, “You don’t have to make him proud.”

 Petro pushed Phoenix again, so his cheek touched the water. Phoenix tugged against his grasp, but Petro just tightened his grip, shoving Phoenix’s head into the water, just enough that Phoenix couldn’t breathe, but not enough that he fell into the memory.

Petro yanked Phoenix back out of the water. “Try that again and I’ll make sure you don’t come back up,” he growled. He sighed. “Well, here’s the thing… who are you?”

“Cherry.”

“Right. Cherry. The funny thing is, killing him wouldn’t have gotten me back into Belos’ good graces anyway.” Petro punctuated his sentence by dunking Phoenix’s head again and dragging him back up. Phoenix gasped, spitting out water.

“No, he already betrayed Belos. He’s been replaced. It’s not like he’s the current person I’d have to kill to get my job back even if Belos was alive.” Petro grabbed Phoenix’s ponytail, twisting his head to look at Cherry. “See, Cherry, this is about revenge.”

Cherry took another tentative step forward, but stopped when Petro pushed Phoenix’s face closer to the water. “He was a kid. It wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t any of our faults!”

“I can think of plenty of things that were our fault. It’s not like Belos told me to try and kill him. Very proud to say that I can do things on my own.”

“You do things on your own? Prove it. Let him go. Stop doing what Belos would want. Start over with us.”

Petro snorted. “I’m a little too good at what I do to roll over and show my belly now. And I like who I am. Do you think I want to turn into this?” He gave Phoenix’s hair a vicious yank, and Phoenix yelped. “No. I’ll stick with what Belos made me—I’ve already done too much to be a saint now.”

“Petro—uh—can I call you that?”

“I’ve been called worse.”

“Okay. Petro. I know what it’s like to feel like an irredeemable monster, trust me, I know—”

“Awwwww, you think I’m an irredeemable monster? That makes me so sad! What clued you in, me attacking Phoenix? Or killing that little girl?”

“Look, whatever you’ve done—”

“Whatever I’ve done? You’ve only seen the tip of the iceberg, Cherry Bomb.” Petro shoved Phoenix’s head under again, yanking it back up. “You—” dunk. “—have—” splash. “—no idea—” Phoenix gasped for air at the wrong time and inhaled a lungful of water. He choked and sputtered, hacking water up. “—what I’m capable of.”

“You’d be surprised,” Cherry said softly, “I know it doesn’t seem like it. But I promise you, you can come back from the things you’ve done, you can start over and make up for your past. It begins right here. Let him go.”

“If you’re so big and bad, then make me.”

Cherry moved quickly, but not quickly enough. Petro shoved Phoenix’s head back into the water, but almost immediately, his hands were wrenched off of Phoenix, and Phoenix fell, splashing deeper into the memory.

The whole thing was… hazy, rather than a solid scene. Phoenix couldn’t see anything except a film of light, like he had his eyes closed. The water around him felt warm, like a blanket, and somewhere, someone sang a soft lullaby.

A hand grasped the back of his shirt, and he shot up through the water, pulled to the surface by Cherry. “I’ve got you—” Cherry helped him out of the pool. “Are you okay? You were down there for…”

Phoenix coughed, spitting out water. “I’ll live.”

What was that?

Cherry nodded. “Good.”

“You?”

“Fine,” he replied shortly. His one eye looked everywhere but at Phoenix. Petro’s inner self was nowhere to be seen, but one of the pools roiled like something had been thrown into the center of it, spilling water over the banks. “Let’s go.”

He shook the ball, and golden light circled around the two of them. Petro’s mindscape disappeared, replaced by Sam’s lab. Evelyn leaned on Sam for support, her face pale.

“Boys? Did Belos do something? Did you help Petro?”

Everything he’d seen in Petro’s memories swept through Phoenix’s mind like a flood. His legs wobbled, and he sat down on the floor with a whump. “He tried to kill me,” he croaked, “He really did. He found out about us, and instead of blaming Belos…”

“He blamed you,” Caleb murmured. He knelt down next to Phoenix, his hand hovering just over Phoenix’s shoulder. “Are you okay?”

Phoenix’s arms throbbed in tempo with his frantic heart. “He killed Victoria. He killed everyone—kids, adults—he locked them in and burned them to death.” He gripped Caleb’s arm, trying to make him understand. “He killed all of them, and he doesn’t even care. He doesn’t even care that Belos is dead, he just…”

Caleb didn’t say anything to that, just stared with horrified eyes.

Cherry stalked across the room in big strides and shook Petro. “Wake up,” he said sharply, “Wake up now.”

Petro yawned, looking up lazily at Cherry, then at Phoenix. His face split into a grin. “He won’t be around to protect you forever, little bird. Just wait.”

Cherry gave him another shake. “Don’t look at him. Look at me. How many grimwalkers were there after Phoenix?”

“Why? Missing one? Do a head count, maybe he’s hiding under the bed.”

“Cherry?” Caleb asked softly, “What’s wrong?”

Cherry let go of Petro, facing the others. “Belos said there were two. Two grimwalkers left for if Phoenix betrayed him.”

Evelyn hissed in. She pushed off of Sam and replaced Cherry in front of Petro, gripping the collar of his cloak with a strength and rage that did not match her prior weakness. “Hunter was the only one after Phoenix. We kept an eye on the keep, there wasn’t another. What happened to the other one? What did Phillip do?!”

Petro shrugged, but it seemed more smug than bewildered. “I don’t know.”

“But you know something. Spit it out?”

“Hm. Well, I’d assume that if they’re not here, then they’re still in the ground. But there is definitely one more grimwalker out there. Surprise! You don’t have a full set.”

Evelyn let him go, reeling backwards. “There’s another,” she murmured, “There’s another grimwalker we never knew about, and they’re all on their own.”

Phoenix tilted his head at Caleb. “Can’t we just go get them?”

He shook his head. “We don’t know where you were made. No one’s seen it except Phillip.” He glanced at Petro. “Unless…”

“Aw, you want my help? Why don’t you just rummage around in my brain again, see how that goes. I bet this time you won’t come out.”

Evelyn growled, a low, threatening rumble that sounded unnervingly like a direwolf. Even Petro looked uncomfortable, if only for a moment. “Tell us. Now.”

“Sure. One condition. I go free.”

“I’m not making a deal with you. And I’m not letting you out, you’ll kill Phoenix.”

“Pft. You’ll get another grimwalker to replace him, what’s the big deal?”

“No.”

“Fine,” Petro spat, “I hope you didn’t want that Grimwalker too badly. Because you’ll never find them without me.”

Sam placed a glyph on the stone vines holding Petro in place, and new green vines grew up, covering his mouth. “Watch us.”

#toh #the owl house #toh fanfiction #gilded family au #my writing #caleb wittebane #evelyn clawthorne #emperor belos #phillip wittebane #child death #child death tw #blood #injury #golden guard oc

[emeraldspiral]

Thinking about how much the Zimvoid arc and Loki season 1 had in common.

Like, both of them star a villain protagonist who ends up trapped in an apocalyptic wasteland populated almost entirely by alternate versions of themselves, most of whom all suffer from the same vice of needing to scramble for power to prove their superiority while a handful of more enlightened versions of themselves reject competition in favor of cooperation. They even both have a kid version of themselves as the leader of the cooperative faction along with an older, wiser version, an aquatic version, and a huge beefcake version.

Of course because Loki is a drama and Invader Zim is a tragedy, the stories take different directions with their character arcs. In in a drama, the story is driven by characters having a flaw that they overcome or a false belief that is corrected, or possessing virtues that allow them to triumph, which all goes toward supporting whatever the story's thesis is. In a tragedy, the story is driven by characters who fail to overcome their flaws, who either never learn their lessons and change or just keep getting worse and worse, or who either abandon their virtues or let their vices win out over them, or whose virtues aren't enough for them to succeed without the support of the world around them backing them up.

Because Loki is a drama, Loki's story is about having his ego broken down so he can be built back up into a better man. He's humbled upon finding himself powerless in the TVA, forced to confront the ugly truth about himself and understand the neediness and insecurity at the root of his obsession with power and superiority. He meets other versions of himself who reflect his worst qualities back at him but also show him that he has the capacity to be better. He learns to be empathetic and care for other people besides himself and causes greater than his own ambitions, but also learns to love himself from falling for another version of him and recognizing that that all the qualities he admires her for are qualities that they share.

By contrast, Zim goes through his experience with the Zimvoid unchanged. Meeting other versions of himself and seeing them all compete for power doesn't make him self reflect on his own pettiness and meeting better versions of himself doesn't inspire him to do better. He doesn't learn to empathize with other versions of himself and doesn't learn to value himself for his own intrinsic qualities. If anything, the experience makes him worse because defeating all the Zims only reaffirms his false belief that his worth comes from his superiority over others.

Loki and the Zimvoid are essentially telling the same story, but the genre makes all the difference to the outcome.

One thing the Zimvoid does though that I really wish Loki had done is support its themes by making the villain another version of the protagonist.

Like, I remember when Loki season 1 first aired everyone was expecting Kang to be behind everything just because it would tie-in with the greater Marvel universe and I was saying I really hoped it would be Loki himself instead. Because Kang wasn't a character in the show until the very end. He had no personal relationship with Loki, he was just some guy we'd never met before. And literally everything else in the show was about Loki being in conflict with himself. It would've made so much more thematic sense if his line early on in the series about his plans to take over the TVA and become the most powerful being in existence was foreshadowing a reveal that one version of him had already done it and the reason he was pruning all other Loki variants who strayed from the path that would lead them to death was because he didn't want any other Lokis to overthrow him or mess up his timeline and throw him off the path that got him to where he was. Kang did end up still tempting Loki with the opportunity to have everything he ever wanted as a final test of his character growth, but it just didn't feel as impactful coming from a stranger as it would've from another Loki.

With the Zimvoid though, we got Zib as the absolute perfect villain for the story. A dark reflection of both our protagonists who are themselves mirrors of one another, reflecting all their worst qualities back at them and showing them the folly of basing their self-worth around proving their superiority over others.

#invader zim #loki #zimvoid #loki series #marvel #marvel comics #mcu #also #thematically speaking #dib is functionally the same as sylvie #therefore #zadr #and #sylki #are the same ship

[lunar-years]

💖💚for unpopular ask

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

uhhh I have many. I would say my most unpopular are probably:

I don't care that the show had no big "endgame" ships. I actually appreciated it being left to interpretation on where we want the characters to go. And throwing them into relationships given where they are at in the end wouldn't have made much sense anyway. (beardjane was terrible but i don't count that as a 'big' ship lol. no one was shipping them. TOMATOES!!! -500/10). the show's focus was never romantic relationships to begin with fwiw so it's weird how much people center that in their conclusion about whether the show was good enough.

Ted going home to Henry was also Really Good and the Whole Point/Natural Conclusion of his arc.

I liked that RoyKeeley broke up. Didn't love where they went with it necessarily, and both of their characters deserved to be written soooo much better in s3, but I do think the breakup itself was a Good Thing that Needed to Happen for these characters to progress.

Given the season and events as they are written, I think Keeley is far more likely to get back together with Jamie immediately post finale than she is Roy. (I don't think she should get back together with either of them right away, mind you. My girl needs some time to not exist as part of a relationship, because she has clearly spent most of her life being in relationships and it has caused Problems to her sense of self worth that i am desperate for her to healthily address. And then I would ultimately very much like her to end up with both of them, lol. But I'm just saying finale Keeley totally WOULD get back together with Jamie).

In a very similar vein to all the above, a criticism i see ALL the time that absolutely drives me UP THE WALL is when people claim the writers fell into the ol' GirlBoss Slay trap with Keeley, where in order to make her an Independent Confident Businesswomen™️ they had to remove all romance from her storyline and claim that's why they broke roykeeley up. The writers wrote Keeley very extremely terribly in s3, do not get me wrong. But this argument that writers just hate romance and don't see how a woman can be successful and also be in love (when Rebecca, a very successful businesswoman with a major arc about wanting to find love is their lead female character, mind you), just feels like baseless ragey criticism from people mad about there not being a roykeeley endgame. Look, if that's what the writers were trying to do, they don't even come close to fulfilling the other end of that promise (trading her romance to make her a Caricature Slay Business Woman) because 1. they don't show Keeley becoming independent with her business at all (Rebecca just swoops in and saves the day) 2. they do a very poor job of showing her overcoming imposter syndrome and coming into her own and 3. after the breakup with Roy, they literally show her immediately jumping into another relationship. sooo. I think it's much more likely that the writers were attempting to show Keeley spiraling in the same patterns of self-destructive behavior she exhibited in s1 and s2. rather than attempting to wash away all her flaws I actually think they were trying to highlight and reflect on those flaws. Unfortunately they just did it very, very badly and left out the necessary other half of the arc that makes it compelling and successful: actually giving Keeley the space to recognize and reckon with those flaws. the problem is they too rarely let their own characters talk and have it out in meaningful ways. anyway.

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

Roy isn't like THAT but he's also not like that. you know. people are always falling in love with completely different made up versions they've got of him and then acting like their Roy is canon Roy. Idk who that guy is but he isn't Roy!!! ughhhhhh. sorry.

#ted lasso #asks

[lukedanger]

For the trope day of the Ashley Appreciation Week by @cannot-rest , I’d like to build off of the similarities between her and Shepard and the contrast it creates. Specifically, the trope of Undying Loyalty. Both Ashley and Shepard have something similar to the Alliance, but it also creates one of Ashley’s actual flaws instead of the ones made up to demean her like the false claims that she is a fundamentalist Christian.

Plus, I think discussing this trope in light of Ashley’s character and how the flaws of it interacts with her virtues really hammers home something. Ashley Williams is not a simple black-and-white character but instead regularly deals with and knows how to handle gray.

“I’m an Alliance Marine - it’s in my blood.” Those are the words she uses to help hammer home how she cannot - will not - join Shepard while (s)he is flying the colors of terrorists. She cites her family as a reason why she wanted to become a soldier despite knowing that the Alliance blacklists them for political convenience. She considers Earth’s best interests her own and strives to achieve them as best she can from her position as a soldier. If there is one trait of Ashley’s that I would say opens up the most to examining her, it would be Loyalty.

And the fascinating part of it is that it seems nonsensical at first glance. What has the Systems Alliance done to deserve her loyalty? If anything, I would posit that the Systems Alliance does not deserve Ashley Williams. If she dies in the first game, all the Alliance does is take a quote out of context for political purposes. It’s the salarians and the turians who actually honor her sacrifice on Virmire. In the third game she makes a lot more ground, but I think we all know that a huge reason for that is that Udina was grooming Ashley to be Shepard’s successor as a visible human Spectre.

In a way, this loyalty via patriotism is a virtue. Ashley recognizes something bigger than herself, and while she describes herself as being incredibly thick-skilled to do it, puts up with officers abusing her(1) she does it because she believes in the Systems Alliance. She puts others’ needs above her own and considers herself no more - if not less - valuable than her comrades. Sure, there is the motive of breaking the family’s undeserved reputation, but push comes to shove she priorities the Systems Alliance over that.

After all, consider the scene that everyone blows out of proportion when she asks if Garrus and Wrex are wise recruits. Ashley is probably the most vulnerable person on the ship, and she damn well knows it. If Shepard was inclined she could be dumped up on any charge Shepard damn well pleased and screwed over. Even more so since Shepard is now a Spectre and she knows that the brass will give political favorites a pass if it serves them (case in point, Harkin). Yet, she still dares to (respectfully) ask Shepard if this was a good idea.

Where does Ashley, to use a particularly apt turn of phrase from Rome, turn loyalty into a vice? I would say all the above. Ashley puts so little emphasis on her own self-worth that she’s willing to martyr herself for those who happily wave her dead body around for political brownie points and do absolutely nothing to address why she felt so worthless.* She cares so little about herself because she has forced herself to conform to what she believes the Systems Alliance wants from her to be accepted as a soldier and a person. *If anything, they probably were glad she died - dead heroes are a lot easier to use for political purposes than live ones.

The other vice entwined with virtue is her desire to prove the Alliance was wrong about her family. It is a virtuous thing to want to do - if nothing else, she erases it for the rest of her family so her future nieces and nephews never have to deal with what she faced growing up. Yet it is another drive that pushes Ashley to ignore her own self-worth, something that Shepard picks up. Shepard asks Ashley if she thinks falling on her sword would redeem her family of her grandfather’s supposed sin. Terrifyingly, Ashley laments that it probably wouldn’t or even matter, but she tries to martyr herself on Virmire anyways.

Ashley’s loyalty to the Systems Alliance may seem to be a tautology, but it hammers home how dedicated she is to causes higher than herself. And that’s with being fully aware of the Alliance’s flaws! Her loyalty to individuals, such as to Shepard, is far healthier as she has the agency and the willingness to use it. If Shepard refuses to address Ashley’s (or Kaidan’s) legitimate issues with Shepard being with Cerberus, she has no reason to believe Shepard. To convince her (or Kaidan) to chose to trust Shepard despite the danger to the Council that Ashley (or Kaidan) is protecting, Shepard has to earn that loyalty.

And to be honest, we need more party members who are willing to stand up to the almighty PC in plot relevant ways rather than just causing them to leave the party. Role-Playing Games can annoyingly center themselves around a protagonist and not give their squadmates room to stand by their principles. Ashley Williams and Kaidan Alenko both stand by their principles, and for that they are slandered.

-

(1)Case in point, Ashley was denied authority over the squad she officially led by an officer who explicitly tells her “Your friends might not see it, but I do. You can’t escape your past, Williams.” during the events of Mass Effect: Foundations 3. The exact panel is even on her wiki page on the Mass Effect Wiki as of this posting.

#my post #mass effect #ashley williams #meta #headcanons #kinda #ashleyweek2023 #kaidan alenko #he gets hit for similar false claims but this is more of an Ashley post

[kennahjune]

Hear me out:

My favorite Stranger Things trope is Found Family. Like yeah sure everything else is awesome but found family hits different. Especially to someone with a somewhat dysfunctional family.

My favorite found families, however, are any that include Mike and Steve. (Especially one or the other with Hopper adopting them.)

So hear me out: I combine them.

No not literally. Just the tropes. Give me Mike and Steve finding a family in each other.

Like— yeah, sure. Mike has the Party, and his actual family (or— at least— he has Nancy (somewhat)) and Steve has Robin and Dustin but— it’s not the same. They love them, don’t get them wrong, but they don’t always understand.

Maybe Dustin does a bit. His moms not always there and his dads dead but— Claudia tries. And that’s the difference between Dustin and Mike/Steve.

But everyone else? They don’t have a full grasp on how hurtful parental neglect can actually be. They don’t realize how much of a toll it can take on a child’s mental health and self-worth.

Mike and Steve do know. They’ve experienced it firsthand, in fact.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out Ted Wheeler cared very little about Mike (or any of his kids, really). Mike’s convinced that Ted doesn’t even know his birthday or middle name (April 7 and Quincy (Karen thought it was cute at the time)).

And as much as Mike loves his mother, Karen Wheeler isn’t much of an exception. She gets a pass because of Holly, but that’s just about it. She’s not really there for Mike other than when she deems she needs to be.

We don’t even know anything about Steve’s parents outside of the fact that they’re literally never home. Like— 4 seasons and not once do we meet Mr. and Mrs. Harrington? They’re either dead or Steve lives on his own.

Now give me emotionally-constipated Mike slowly leaning on Steve for help. Because Steve worked things out, right? Steve managed to get his emotions and attitude under control, and maybe he could help Mike.

That’s really all I want. Mike and Steve being each others support systems because they get each other. They understand the neglect and emotional-constipation and the inability to express your feelings because when you do try they’re pushed aside and forgotten about. They understand each other in the sense that they’d do ANYTHING to protect those they care about. In the sense that they’re traumatized kids with no authority figure to help them through it.

Now give me Joyce Byers and (begrudgingly) Jim Hopper. Both of who recognize this and try to subtly step in.

Joyce is immediate with it. She’s practically raised Mike and she’ll finish the goddamn job if she has to. She’ll take Steve to, don’t fucking test her.

And then Hopper who “hates” them both because of Mike and El and how Steve used to act. But he recognizes the blatant neglect in their lives and while sure— it may or may not be a little too late to make up their childhoods, it isn’t too late for them to know that someone cares. That Hopper cares, no matter how horrible he is at showing it.

Maybe throw Max into the mix as well.

Max understanding Mike and Steve on another level. She understands the neglect and shattered hope that they carry with them. Recognizes that hateful flash in Steve’s eyes when anyone brings up his parents. Billy used to get the same flash when someone mentioned Neil. Recognizes the way Mike seems to close in on himself when people ask him about himself. She does the same thing because she doesn’t know how else to react. Recognizes the refusal to talk about their own emotions—subtly changing topics to keep it out of conversation. Because she does the exact. Same. Thing.

And you know what? Give me Steve, Max and Mike spending a summer together. Give me the three of them leaning on each other for support and advice. Max and Mike looking to Steve for how to open up. Steve looking after the 2 of them and the 2 of them looking out for Steve.

I’m dubbing them the No Parents Trio.

Over and Out.

#dustin henderson #max mayfield #mike wheeler #steve harrington #stranger things #found family #everyone adopting steve harrington #the wheelers #joyce byers #No Parents Trio

[decolonize-the-left]

This isn’t some conservative trying to get on ur nerves. I’m a socialist and absolutely supportive of the trans community, but I’m really confused about neo pronouns. It seems like it’s just an attention seeking version of being non-binary, what’s the deal with that? What’s the purpose? It’s can’t be euphoric to use xi/xer because that literally doesn’t mean anything

To be completely fair; neither do she/her or he/him or they/them. They're all just words we use to define ourselves. And ourself is the Only person with the right to determine who we are. It means something cuz the person using it has given it meaning.

For context, I'm a deeply autistic nonbinary person who Regularly struggles with the concept of gender to begin with. To give a very Basic rundown of that, I mean to me, personally, it's all just lines drawn in metaphorical sand. Some people wanna be feminine, masculine, both, neither. And that goes for Every sex in existence. Identifying in the experience where those things intersect is human nature. The Name you give that experience of identity is what we call gender.

And everyone wants their gender validated. They want to be perceived as the gender they are.... Because that's what they are. That's their experience.

So what happens when there aren't words for it? What if none of the words fit? What do you do? You still need and crave that some personhood and identity and validation as everyone else on earth.

You need it just as much as the he/hims and she/hers and they/thems.

You make your own, that's what you do.

So maybe it doesn't mean anything to you... But someone else's human experience isn't about you. It's about them and what those words mean to them.

I don't know who you are, anon, but chances are... I dont get your pronouns. I don't get why people choose to label a human experience and strictly regulate it. I don't GET the purpose of turning gender into a performance that has to be performed in specific ways just so other people will respect you and your self-determination. I don't GET why knowing/recognizing our genders outside of our needs as people even matters.

If someone wants a dick or to wear a skirt or makeup or be a football player, why should gender matter? It's just a human experience. Everyone has it. Everyone's relationship to gender is different. How they see themselves is different. How they choose to Perform their gender for validation from their peers is different (personal style).

You knowing your own gender should be enough. And people should be able to act any way they want without having it invalidated.

But alas. My feelings don't change reality.

And the reality is that none of it makes sense to me and that's okay.

it's not about me.

I very strongly believe people have a right to self determination. And that means supporting people even when I don't understand them.

Because THEY know what makes THEM happy.

That too, is a universal human experience, and who am I to tell you that what makes you happy is attention seeking? Who am I to tell anyone that what makes them "euphoric" is nonsensical and shouldn't make them happy? What gives me the right to define an undefinable human experience and enforce my beliefs on everyone else? To use that belief to restrict and judge the infinite experiences and relationships that humans are capable of having with gender?

Sometimes, the purpose of things are simple and with gender it ALWAYS is.

Respecting the pronouns and genders that people determine for themselves makes them happy.

And that should be enough. Why does there need to be more than that?

And also just a lil ps: Who cares if it's attention seeking? Maybe they like attention. So what? Why is that a crime worth invalidating and belittling them?

#asked #answered #neopronouns #gender

[m3gahet]

61 85 and 87 for nabgaar?

61. How would they describe their S/O in one word?

I’m gonna give you their initial reactions to the question then once the question was explained.

(Cuz it’s funny)

And then I’ll elaborate

Nathan: Uh…Small and…tall? Oh- um loyal? Yeah that for both of them I guess.

Loyalty is really important to Nathan and I think the show tells us that throughout the series. It can veer into iffy territory when it comes to arguments/taking sides where he seems to want blind loyalty/Loyalty without question. (Ex. Dethdinner. He’s in the wrong but he’s stubborn so Pickles, Toki and Murderface leaving is a betrayal.)

Skwisgaar is always shown by Nathan and with the exception of Fatherklok where he is dealing with his own shit and after the break up Skwisgaar is the only one to stick by Nathan as well as defend him by telling the others multiple times he’s capable of apologizing. It isn’t blind loyalty to Skwisgaar it’s seeing the good and bad about the situation he clearly knows is Nathan’s fault and still choosing to stay. How the fuck is nategaar a RAREPAIR-

Robin is a little harder to explain without the context of her new timeline which if you’re in the server you already know (or if you’re @thatwritingho ) but two major themes with Robin’s character are devotion and determination. While Robin leaves after the band splits (She’s only an assistant at this point. No band? No job.) she comes back to look for Toki and fully intends on staying even though her and Nathan aren’t on speaking terms when Charles throws her into full band management (it’s a whole thing I’m not getting into it rn)

TLDR: even though he was pissed at her then he can appreciate she came back and stayed when he was still being dickhead.

Robin: Stupid- Okay okay! You don’t have to fucking yell- uh…Protective and compassionate? Good? Good. Now fuck off-

Nathan is protective I think that’s pretty self explanatory. Even if he tries to pretend he doesn’t care he clearly does and often gets physical in regard to protecting the band. With Robin he’s a little too protective and it can get on her nerves that he thinks she can’t handle herself but she recognizes the care and appreciates it!

But seriously stop fucking hovering, Nate.

Describing Skwisgaar as talented or handsome feels shallow to her. She sees how much he wants to be valued for something else and she gets it. He’s more than just a “guitar god” he’s extremely caring towards the band and he’s pretty observant when he wants to be.

Skwisgaar: Stable and Warm.

Nathan is a solid constant for Skwisgaar who ,I remind you, was neglected his entire life on top of not exactly having the most stable of homes. We’re told Skwisgaar was constantly hoping from band to band before joining Dethklok (and given he couldn’t have been older than his early twenties when they formed I think that says a lot) but when the band splits he sticks it out with Nathan instead of going back to that old routine. Cause even if Nathan is a stubborn asshole he’s still Nathan. The guy he clicked with and has been comfortable with for over a decade and came after him because he also doesn’t want to be without him. Nathan chose him so he chooses Nathan.

They choose each other 🥲

Robin has less history behind it obviously but it’s something he’s felt since meeting her. She’s passionate! And determined and well…angry. He associates that energy with warmth because he’s a poetic romantic and a fire can keep you warm or burn you. Robin’s like that and the risk is worth it when you’ve been cold your whole life like he has.

85. Their S/O is tipsy. How do they handle it?

Robin has two options. Let them get shitfaced and solve that problem or distract them.

Said distraction usually means sex in some form so depends on how she’s feeling.

Nathan will just man handle the two blonds if they’re tipsy and he needs to get involved. Skwisgaar’s way too light and Robin is tiny it’s very easy.

Skwisgaar is getting tipsy first. He weighs nothing, he doesn’t eat before drinking, he’s a goddamn mess. Nathan and Robin never have the chance to get tipsy before him.

And in the rare chance they did he can’t do shit. They’re stronger than him and incredibly stubborn soooo give him a drink he’s getting tipsy himself.

87. If they ever lost one another in a public place, how do they find the other?

Nathan and Skwisgaar are very large men and very famous. It’s next to impossible for Robin to lose them if they’re in the same place…she also has a tracker in their phones but that was Charles idea and hold on it’s not creepy it’s her job-

Nathan and Skwisgaar have lost Robin a lot though. It can’t be helped in crowded places. She’s 4’11! They usually call or yell for her and that works.

#mega yells #nabgaar #Nabbin #Skwibbin #oc x canon

[artist-issues]

Happy New Year, hi, it's me again! I have a pretty long ask for you and there is no pressure; I've just been thinking about the Build a Problem musical again.

I think I realized that perhaps I was confusing the idea of having Build a Problem's Emma recognize her own worth with her finding her answer in self-love. She does not, in fact, do that; she learns that because she has worth outside of others (which isn't to say that it comes from her), she can put her relationships in the proper place and even become willing to surrender them for the good of the other. I suppose now the question is how to make that delineation clearer? I'm not entirely sure how much I did wrong, but I suppose Elaine's dialogue has problematic elements.

"But anyway, you’re going to have to learn how to be by yourself. It’s not that we won’t support you–we will–it’s that you’re the constant in your life and we can’t be. And yes, it’s hard, but then you’ll remember you matter in and of yourself, even without someone else to remind you."

"You're the constant"?! HAHA NO. WE MOST DECIDEDLY ARE NOT. "You matter in and of yourself"?! DANGEROUSLY close to "your worth is not assigned and is for yourself." I'll have to figure out how best to fix that. Putting that aside, I think Emma's lesson is most apparent during her apology, which demonstrates a mentality of "if you love something, set it free; if it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with."

Also, I've seen you comment on the rise of "nothing is evil, just misunderstood" and how dangerous that can be. I do worry a bit regarding Celeste's storyline as to how I'm portraying that and where my responsibilities lie. (Even though I'm a moral absolutist, I do have a strong belief in understanding the nuance of where people come from so as to guide them to what is right. That might make me a bad absolutist, or it might...I'm not sure.) She's rather aggressive; on one instance, she pins a panicked Emma to a wall and screams at her for trying too hard to save her. I like the idea of her being too reactive and I don't really wish to tone her down! I do, however, fear that this might be irresponsible of me because I also want her and Emma to reconcile. I am not trying to encourage my audience to continue relationships with people who are outright harmful--far from it. Her ability to resume her friendship with Emma is specifically out of her own repentance and out of Emma's willingness to provide this second chance. (This contrasts Celeste's relationship with Thomas, which has to end because neither of those elements are present.) And we do see Celeste feel regret: it leads her to try and provoke Emma into leaving (this is obviously not a healthy response, but it at least serves to establish her regret), and then they sing a duet about it. It's a very fine line to walk; is there anything I should be examining to make sure I'm not going along the lines of "nothing is evil, just misunderstood"? Do I need to tone Celeste down to facilitate this?

(While we're at it, her relationship with Theo is something that warrants examination like this. He unwittingly drinks alcohol that's been disguised from authorities in an innocent-seeming bottle and winds up kissing her on impulse. They're both seen feeling guilty afterwards, though time constraints prevent a detailed examination and she states in the resulting song that she "felt more than [she] care[s] to admit." I'm not sympathetic to this and it is most certainly wrong. When we next hear directly from Theo, though, he blames himself for the more distant consequence of Thomas hurting her for it, and that's not exactly reasonable. So this is yet another fine line because while that was his greatest error and a rather weighty one at that, it was his only major one. He's otherwise characterized as very gentle, but I want his actions treated with the weight they deserve. How can I best do that? Does he need to be somehow less gentle for it to come through?)

TL;DR: Emma might have learned about her own worth as opposed to finding her answer in self-love, and this understanding of her worth enables her to let go and do the loving thing rather than act out of fear. Celeste might be too volatile and I'm confident that her actions get the weight they deserve, but I'm afraid of being irresponsible by bringing her back to Emma, even though I try to make clear that this is only possible because of sincere repentance and an offered second chance. Theo's actions might not be given the full weight they deserve because we don't see enough of him after the fact and by the time we see him again, he's swung so far in the opposite direction of loathing himself that I feel like audiences are likely to let that reaction overrule the problems with his original action. And as always, thank you for your amazing work with everything! You are wonderful and your blog is wonderful and I pray that God will bless you throughout the coming year and always!

I think I might need to read the whole musical before I could give a super-accurate rundown of the questions you’re talking about 😅 but I’ll try anyway because you were thoughtful enough to take the time to write this much out and ask me!

I think you have your head on straight with all these questions, which is really good.

For example, I think you’re totally correct about what sounds like Celeste and Emma’s reconciliation. That’s the thing; the Bible teaches that while there can be forgiveness without repentance between humans, there can’t be restored relationship or reconciliation unless both parties are willing to repent of wrongs committed and forgive the other person.

So then the question “is Celeste’s wrongdoing being treated irresponsibly if she gets back to being friends with Emma?” has a good foundation. But it seems like you’re assuming that if someone who does something wrong reconciles with the person they hurt, then the wrongdoing doesn’t seem so wrong. But that’s not true at all—you just have to show the horrible consequences of her actions convincingly during the conviction part (the moment where Celeste realizes her wrongdoing), then fix the relationship with her repentance.

I mean, take Anna and Elsa (a sister-hurting-sister scenario seems like the best one to use as a template here?) Elsa hits Anna in the heart with her ice (literally, but during a scene where she’s figuratively pushing Anna away, which has been the main source of hurt in their whole relationship.) That was Elsa’s wrongdoing. Elsa realizes how bad that was, how wrong she was, when Anna freezes in front of her. That scene is great because it shows Elsa completely devastated by what she’s done. She’s sobbing and clinging to Anna—which is important, because for the entire movie Elsa has been doing the opposite of clinging. She’s been pushing away. So right there, you see the beginnings of ‘repentance.” She caused a hurt, she sees that the hurt is bad, and she’s taking an action that is the opposite of the hurt she caused.

But remember, Anna is also, in that moment, showing Elsa unconditional, self-sacrificial love. Elsa pushed Anna away with devastating, life-threatening consequences. Because of Elsa, Anna had her heart not only frozen, but broken. And Elsa never once did anything that would make Anna believe she would change, or stop pushing her away. Yet. Anna still chose to save her, knowing it would mean dying. Elsa did nothing to deserve it. Elsa did not indicate to Anna that Anna’s act of good will would change her. Anna simply did it with no thought of gain, with no hope of a better relationship afterward, because she loves Elsa regardless of the hurt caused.

It is important that Elsa sees that. Because seeing unconditional love is often what forces humans to realize the weight of their wrongdoing. Because unconditional love is so the opposite of whatever they did wrong. So it often unlocks the wrongdoer’s ability to repent.

Basically, what I’m saying is, as long as you show not only the audience, but Celeste herself, the horrible consequences of her wrongdoing and the hurt that it caused, and show it convincingly, (which often takes the wrongdoer realizing the unconditional love or innocence of the person they hurt,) then you won’t need to worry about whether or not that wrongdoing was considered “absolutely evil.”

Of course Elsa pushing Anna away and freezing her heart was the wrong thing to do. Anna’s frozen now. Elsa can’t do anything to undo what she’s done. It’s too late for her to be clinging to Anna.

and THEN

like a beautiful sunrise bursting through clouds

You show how love is stronger than evil. You show how self-sacrifice is love. You show how, when both people are repentant and willing to forgive because of that self-sacrificial love, the wrongdoing isn’t stronger than the love.

After all, that’s the whole point of showing evil—to defeat it. Sometimes you defeat it by punishing the unrepentant wrongdoer. Sometimes you defeat it’s effect by making the wrongdoer repentant. But either way, the evil isn’t stronger than the good.

Moving on

I don’t think it sounds like Theo needs to be less gentle for the weight of his actions to come through. I think his gentleness actually could highlight how wrong his actions were. Because if he’s got feelings under the surface of gentleness, which alcohol caused him to act on, then that puts the gentle surface in a less-moral light. Kissing her on an alcohol-influenced basis wasn’t the first thing he did wrong. The first thing he did wrong was let those feelings he had for Emma stay alive deep down inside him, even if they were buried—he shouldn’t have buried them, because then something like alcohol could dig them up. He should’ve killed them. The second thing he did wrong was be unwise and lack selfless introspection: the idea is that he knew somewhere that he had those feelings, and hadn’t killed them yet, and THEN let himself be in a situation alone with Emma, makes his “gentleness” seem even more like a facade. You can make clear, in some way, that the alcohol isn’t what created the wrong. It just brought it to the surface.

People who have feelings for someone who does not belong to them, but is already on some level promised to someone else, should not let those feelings linger or stick around. That is wrong. Unrequited “love” stops being loving and starts being a wrong thing to feel when you learn that it is unrequited. Entertaining a romantic feeling for someone, in any way, after you know that you can’t serve that person with those romantic feelings, is wrong. Theo should’ve killed those feelings or, if that was too hard, removed temptation by setting up boundaries. Not being alone in a room with Emma; not getting into deep personal discussions where one heart can speak to the other heart with Emma; not letting Emma talk about Thomas (her boyfriend?) in a negative way around him, etc.

But…maybe I’m misunderstanding him? I’d have to know more about the character.

I mean, it’s fine if the character is so non-introspective that he never realized he wanted to kiss Emma before alcohol brought it up. But. It was still wrong. Because introspection is not just the right thing to do for yourself, but the right thing to do when your goal is to have selfless relationships with friends, family, and lovers alike. Anyway.

The point is, no, I don’t think you need to make Theo any less gentle. I think you should make it subtly clear that Theo has a problem with carelessness. (I actually have a friend who/s biggest character flaw is this.) It’s all well and good to be a dude who is happy, sweet, would never intentionally harm anybody or get between his friends…but if you never intentionally prevent yourself from harming anybody, by doing the work to look at how you could actively care for someone (think about doing what’s best for them, which would’ve led him to avoid being alone with Emma) then you’re careless. You’re sweet, and you’re kind, and you’re not meaning to hurt, but…that’s your problem, because you’re also not meaning to do much of anything. You’re coasting along through your relationships with no careful thought, just assuming vaguely good intentions and an even vaguer “sweetness” vibe will be enough to keep you and your friends out of trouble.

You could do that by characterizing him carefully even before the kiss scene. Have him make jokes in large group of friends, and everybody laughs, and clearly he’s not meaning to hurt anybody, but the girl he slings his arm around when he says it is clearly offended by the joke…and Theo doesn’t notice. Have him walk into a serious conversation between two or three of his friends, and then try to “lighten the mood,” when clearly what his friends probably needed more was for him to take what they’re talking about seriously, and join in. If there’s ever a scene where everybody’s at a dance party, have him dance really spazzy to try and make one awkward person laugh—but he’s not being careful of his surroundings and accidentally elbows somebody in the face. You know. Little characterization traits that show the audience, “this is Theo, he’s a sweet guy, but he’s a little careless, needs to learn to be introspective and intentional.” Then when he kisses Emma, you’ve subtly built this up: Theo would never try to cause trouble between Emma and Thomas, but he also isn’t careful enough to not try to cause trouble between Emma and Thomas.

I don’t know if that’s helpful, I don’t know the characters well enough.

As for the big main question, with what allows Emma to stop acting out of fear—I still think making her own “worth” the thing is going to be a little too tricky for you without establishing where she gets that idea of “worth” from. It can’t come from others, so where’s it coming from? I would avoid that idea altogether, but that’s just me. Maybe you can figure a way around it.

I would simply replace the motive of fear with a new understanding of what unconditional love for others looks like. She’s not willing to sacrifice because she knows her WORTH—in fact, she’s not thinking about her worth, or her safety, or her security, at all—because she’s entirely stopped thinking of herself. She’s just thinking of them.

But again…it’s hard to explain why or how she goes from thinking about herself to thinking more of others. You do need a catalyst in there that causes her to make the switch. Don’t know if this helps!

#Build a problem musical #build a problem #asked #answered #storytelling #advice #thanks for asking

[tuiyla]

“He's [Finn] just as much of a pathetic meow meow when it comes to status and image as Quinn is.” Can you elaborate on this. I rlly want to hear more of your thoughts.

Sure thing, calling out Finn's hypocrisy is my fav hobby

So basically everyone agrees that Quinn is obsessed with status. Whether that's because of her upbringing or a combo of things, doesn't really matter because the fact of the matter is she desperately wants to be on top. Both in high school and as we see later in college and life too, at least until the writers changed their minds. She dates quarterbacks and even bigger than the trauma of an unwanted pregnancy is what it does to her reputation. She seeks prom queen to get that validation from her peers that yes, she's on top, she's the best. In reality we can recognize Quinn just wants love - well, Quinn needs love. But she wants status because she thinks that's what helps her achieve it and general happiness.

That's what most agree on. Quinn gets a lot of shit for it in fact and criticisms of her as person often say all this makes her vapid and such. But here's the thing, they're very similar with Finn in this way. See, Finn cares so, SO much about what people think. Maybe the way I put it before wasn't quite right because he doesn't care about status as much, at least not as consciously as Quinn does. But the girls do tend to be more self-aware than the guys. Regardless, Finn is as obsessed with how people perceive him as Quinn is. It takes a good chunk of season 1 for him to finally fully commit to Glee because he caves under peer pressure that says it's lame. Even though he "makes a stance" in the Pilot, it comes back time and again to how embarrassed Finn is. And a lot of that has to do with how his teammates use homophobic language to degrade him for being in Glee Club. Given that Finn isn't gay and that kind of bullying should hold no weight, it's entirely him giving into toxic masculinity and being terrified of getting anything less than the straight white guy treatment he's used to.

It's the same reason he also has to learn the lesson of choosing protecting Kurt over his own image twice. Wow he sure has to learn a lot of things twice huh. He'd rather stand by and do nothing about intense bullying than be associated with the bullied, for fear he'll be at the receiving end. And it's not like that fear isn't valid but he's also in a place of privilege where he could have done something but chose to protect his own image. Even when the rest of the Glee jocks were ready to throw hands. And putting the homophobia stuff aside for a second, we also see how intensely jealous he gets of guys who threaten to outperform him. Sam when he becomes QB, Blaine when he joins the New Directions. Finn is so incredibly insecure about his own sense of self that anyone threatening that gets the aggressive treatment. You could also argue the same about Jesse coming in and sweeping Rachel off her feet. Finn had just told her he doesn't want to date her but he's suddenly interested again because he wants Rachel's attention back.

Just as Quinn looks for external validation every chance she gets and builds her whole high school life, misguidedly, around getting that within the traditional social hierarchy, Finn does the same. He builds his identity first around being QB and then around being the Glee Club leader. We see him crumble when confronted with the reality of his own loserdom in season 3. He misses out on a football scholarship and he has no future in the arts, all the while his girlfriend is on track to become the star she is. That's what's been behind the season 1 and 2 decisions, too, that he's terrified of having that mirror held up and realizing that he is a loser. But even being a loser is something he himself comes up with because he puts so much of his self-worth into being a popular jock (and a lead vocalist to an extent) and not really looking into things that wouldn’t make him that popular but would be fulfilling. Like teaching.

He and Quinn, had they stayed together, would have been the definition of peaking in high school. Finn especially because he just has it so good that he refuses to think about a life outside high school, and when his greatest strengths within that life are threatened he panics. Basically, Finn believes all he has is his high school image and puts all his self-worth into this fragile concept, and thus goes to great lengths to protect it. I mean, how can people say only Quinn was image-obsessed when they have a shared plot about trying to stay popular? When he gets such an ego boost post-Sue Sylvester Shuffle that he's even willing to go back to the ex who lied about having his baby. It feeds his ego and image though, so, must be true love. Finn might not have consciously realized a lot of this and he might not have cared as much about prom court, for example. But I believe that's because he failed to see the intricacies of the high school status quo as much as Quinn did. Otherwise, they're very similar in this way.

I feel like this got rambly but I'll most likely return to this topic (and feel free to ask for clarification or elaboration). And I haven't even touched on how, as a result of trying so hard for this top dog image, both Finn and Quinn are crushed under high expectations they brought on themselves. Isn't high school fun?

#so this isn't exactly anti right it's just critical #glee asks #fuinn #finn asks #finn hudson #quinn fabray #bonniesdamons

[vacantgodling]

these are more in depth character introductions! i'm going to start with the main 5 because its easiest and then we'll move onto characters (finally!) that i haven't really talked about yet.

profile guide:

Name (pronouns)

name meaning

age

birthplace

class (will make an in depth post about classes one of these days) including weapons and armor

short physical description

important relationships (outside of ones that will be forged in the main storyline)

goal or driving force

CONTINGENT 17

PIPER FAIRWIND (she/her)

“piper” means a pipe player / fairwind means a gentle or favorable breeze

26

was born in kingsburrow as an orphan

melee bladed artisan (MBA), self taught ⟶ weapon of choice is the axe. wears standard hearty leather armor, but upgrades once she's finally selected for guilds with chainmail etc. prefers to keep it light for best mobility.

deep purple eyes, dark auburn hair that’s usually braided down her back, brown skin. around 6’0” (give or take). muscular.

piper met keevan guerra when she made it to easthollow (at 24) to try her luck at the guild exam. she failed the first time, but seeing her spirit, keevan offered to train her so she could pass the next time. through him, piper met his protogee saith praline and the three of them grow very close over the year training before the next guild bid. piper considers saith to be a best friend and is starting to feel romantically towards keevan, but does not want to be a simple “damsel in distress” for him to woo. 

goal: to make money and to make a name for herself.

DEUX UNDERSHIELD (she/her)

“deux” means two / “undershield” refers to the side facing a shield user when they hold a shield for protection. it needs to be the most durable part of the shield, and her family was named that to hark towards being resilient and enduring.

25

was born in hytröth as the second child in a family of 8.

protector (graduated from holy MUINENS protector’s academy with the second highest aptitude in the school’s history) ⟶ wears heavy armor, carries a shield that is 5 feet tall on its own, and wields a short sword. is a vis user.

bright brown eyes, dark brown hair cut in a pixie style, deep brown skin, around 5’6”. is not muscular in a traditional sense—is more stout. but has a strong core and can lift more than anyone else on the team.

deux and her brother dion undershield have a tumultuous history; mostly instigated by her brother. in deux’s opinion, its as though one day he went from being a kind, caring, and loving elder brother to someone she hardly recognized. to say that he hates her is an understatement, though for the life of her she doesn’t know why. she misses the relationship that they had.

goal: to learn why her brother despises her. to serve the goddess MUINENS with everything she has.

SANDRA “SAN” DEARBORN (they/she)

“sandra” means defender of man. their nickname “san” can also mean three / “dearborn” means born favored or beloved.

24

was born and raised in eros

hunter (graduated from the hunters grand academy) ⟶ wears light, revealing armor with a lot of hides and furs. weapons of choice are a bull whip and a short sword. 

light pink eyes, long hot pink hair with the sides shaved, , 5’2”. lean and agile build.

san has always felt second best to her elder and more celebrated sister moira dearborn—a rivalry that was sparked and goaded on by their parents. she hates her and views besting her as her ultimate goal, but is completely unaware that moira doesn’t see her in the same light. 

goal: to best her sister, to become a decorated hunter, to prove her worth.

CLEAR BRIGHTENDALE (he/him)

“clear” meaning transparent, unclouded or easy to understand / “brightendale” meaning bright valley

26

was born and raised in eros.

medic** (self taught, but he tells people that he went to silverkeep university of medicine to avoid suspicion) ⟶ clear does not fight if he can avoid it and his main calling card is his encyclopedic knowledge of medical best practices and wound treatment. is very skilled at subortus. he does however carry two scimitar handles on him, unbeknownst to most that he disguises as vials on his med belt. why just the handles is a mystery.

vibrant violet eyes, tawny brown hair that reaches about his shoulders, 5’10”, more muscular than his clothes would lead you to believe. is much stronger than he looks. 

were it not for efelia dobos, clear would’ve never entered the guilds in the first place; she took him in while he was wandering from town to town after he left home, and through her care and the accident prone 8 children, clear was able to drastically sharpen his medical skills that he gained through book study by practicing.

goal: to be a good medic and escape the demons of his past.

FORTE SYMPHONIA (he/him)

“forte” meaning loud / “symphonia” meaning a symphony. 

27

was born and raised in bass landing.

ranger (graduated from pinella’s pass survivalist school) ⟶ wears light but durable armor that is specially designed from a wide range of movement such as hiding in underbrush and climbing trees/scaling environments. weapon of choice is a long bow, though he carries a short bow and hunting knives for any close quarters combat. but he tries to avoid it. 

dark green eyes, long black hair that reaches his waist, 6’2”. limber build with a very strong upper body/back from climbing and bow usage. 

forte’s father and the bard tenor symphonia is a man synonymous with the importance of music in terranean heritage. while his father inspired him in many ways, forte has always hated the expectation that he should follow in his footsteps and become a traveling bard like him. forte has always been more interested in the labyrinth and the rhythms of nature so to speak; getting away from home is a way to forge his own identity. 

goal: to experience many different types of landscapes, flora and fauna. to forge his own identity.

#s: tcol #character intro #writeblr

[pkmnomegaverse]

Maverick song time! Monster by PVRIS. Cause one day I’ll draw him. But anyway unlike Darcel who’s just Like That and is doomed despite his upbringing, Maverick is very much a product of his environment. Thus why I like to think about What Ifs with him. Like how in ChampionVerse if I let Lark exist there, maybe that’s where he and Marverick wouldn’t be doomed and could have a relationship that works out.

Also I feel like I’ve maybe said this before but Darcel/Riviera being very similar to Maverick/Lark is 100% intentional. I like the dynamic a lot so why not do it twice while changing up the specifics. Mostly I’ve started to go easy on Rivi so Lark’s my “but what if they stayed devoted/doomed”

Darcel and Marerick are pretty different overall tho since both are evil, but whereas Darcel is the quirky silly at times kind of evil, Maverick is the stoic cutthroat kind. And then Rivi is jaded but still has hope. While Lark really has given up on things ever getting better so fully falls into what Maverick plans. Has decided this is the best it’s ever gonna get for him.

This is where it gets tricky since I do feel there’s a certain degree of care from each of the guys. Sorta. Like for Darcel/Riviera, a scene I’ve had in my head for them for a long time is Darcel seeing some guy on camera harassing Rivi in another room. Like bad harassment that’s def assault vibes that could escalate in that direction. Can see how Rivi is reacting and trying to fight back. And he just gets up and silently stalks to the room, shanking the guy in the back and killing him before either realizes he’s there. Cause he does look out for her in his own weird way. They have an understanding of sorts? Which is why Rivi sticks with him so long. Like it’s not even a “she’s mine” thing in this instance it really is more protective, since does know what she went through in the past. So is an instance of him just acting for the benefit of another person even if he’s too emotionally inept to view it that way.

Maverick I feel actually cares about Lark less than Darcel “cares” about Rivi. Since for him is much more of a possession thing vs guy who quite literally has no empathy and is just making his way through the world. But Maverick does come to value Lark more for who he is with time. It’s the loyalty that gets to him eventually. But I also don’t think he’d truly see Lark’s worth till he’s gone.

Whereas Darcel doesn’t have the self awareness to really come to some big “maybe I should have acted differently to not have her leave me” with Rivi. That’s just not something he’d do with anyone. He takes it for granted that people will stick with him once he views them on “his side.” So won’t easily let them go but doesn’t go the route of it being his fault they want to leave. Gets better at time with being extra manipulative to try and get them to not leave, since recognizes it’s because of his actions, but also that’s def on them and not on him. They’re just being no fun.

#Twitter thoughts time! But expanded! Since gonna try and cross post from now on #Maverick #Lark #HoneyTrapShipping #Darcel #Riviera #MachinatorShipping #Music #me talking about my trash sons