#he ks very fun to write

[fawnfulart]

Do yall know how these things are made? It's actually so nuts how cool this is

#I see a lot of fanfic where it's clear OP doesn't know very much about prostheses which #Fair I dont necessarily blame them; a lot of people dont and I'm not the research police #but also like feel free to look into stuff youre writing about it's really cool and fun you learn a lot #realism will enhance your work and you avoid misrepresenting the experiences of real people #I tend to write Sal as having a full on ocular prosthesis but he could have scleral shells or orbital prosthesis I guess #depending on your interpretation of how much of his original anatomy still exists #it was confirmed in one of the KS livestreams I watched that he has had reconstructive surgeries but we dont know specifics about that #fawnfic

[linskywords]

heyyyy I don't recall if you've ever mentioned using a beta for any of your fics, but can I ask you about your editing process? How you start it, how you do it, what sort of things are you are on high alert for, etc?

I'm 23k into my first hockeyrpf fic, which is kinda *out there* and I'm now grappling with "woah is this even intelligible to other fans" 😅

What a fun question!! First of all, congrats on being 23K in. That's so many Ks! It's such a fun fandom to write in, I'm glad you're joining the fun. 😄

I don't use a beta. I used to, but I'm too impatient for it -- I always want to edit my fics right away and get them out there. So I do my own editing. I don't know how useful this will be for you, since everyone's writing process is so different, but here's how mine works!

First, I write a complete draft. I'll sometimes backtrack if I realize I've taken a wrong turning, but otherwise, I try not to worry too much about quality in the draft. I write from start to finish because otherwise I can't hold onto where I am in the emotional arc. Getting to the end and having the tension resolve is a huge motivator for me.

Once I have a complete draft, I usually do a full editing pass. I save a copy and go back to the beginning and read through the whole thing, editing and rewriting as I go. It's actually impossible for me to read my own draft without editing, which is hugely inconvenient sometimes (e.g. if I step away for a bit and need to refresh myself on the story, it takes forever because I find myself editing as I reread).

A lot of what I edit for is rhythm. I can't quite accurately gauge the rhythm of a scene while I'm writing it, especially if the scene is a conversation; I need to give myself a little distance and then reread for that. I do a lot of adding lines and taking others away to make things flow the way I want them to. I especially watch for if a scene builds too fast and doesn't earn its level of intensity, or if a scene drags and can be trimmed.

Another big one is, am I overstating emotions? Sometimes this means I'm repeating myself, and sometimes it means I'm being too direct about angst etc. when it would be stronger to dial it back and let the reader extrapolate. A lot of times when I'm writing I put in lines that state very directly how the character is feeling, mostly as a way of figuring out what that is, but that's really for me and not the reader, so I take those parts out. Or sometimes I'll put in a line or a feeling and realize I want to use it later on, so it'll be in both places in the draft and I'll take out the earlier one in editing.

I guess the biggest question I'm asking myself when editing is, does this ring true? Anything that feels fake or forced or convoluted or disconnected or illogical gets edited out the best I can.

Other things I look for:

clunky sentences (so many)

using the same word more than once in close succession ("even" and "just" are big ones for me, as are "soft" and "warm" in any sex or romance scene)

using the same sentence structure too many times in a row (she typed a thing, her words wording <- my biggest offender)

having characters smile or grin or laugh too many times in close succession

places where it's not clear which "he" I'm talking about (down with epithets, just repeat the name or rephrase)

places where I use too many dialogue tags (confession, I use them way more often than I need to for intelligibility; I just like the rhythm, and "he says" is neutral enough to my ear that I don't mind the unnecessary usage)

continuity errors, often where I changed something in one place while writing and forgot to change it elsewhere

weird metaphors I thought would work but don't

Usually one pass is not enough, since I'll have rewritten so much that then needs to be edited again. Two editing passes is arguably not enough either, but it's usually the limit of what I'll do. Sometimes if a story is very tricky I'll do more, or if it's very straightforward I might stop at one. It's kind of a vicious cycle: if I reread my edits, I'll want to edit again, and there's no real stopping it without just deciding it's good enough and you can be done. This is one reason I often post in chapters, because it's easier to do this with a smaller chunk of story.

I think that's what I have off the top of my head. Happy to talk more about any aspect if you're curious. Good luck with your writing and editing!!

#hockey rpf #writing #editing

[bcacstuff]

Not sure what I dread more about Sam’s time in the US- autograph and selfie hounds everywhere, same ones as always. OR P’s dating rumors. She has yet another one posted and is now comparing which one is more likely -CM or KS-to be dating him- based on what evidence? And an Anon that writes in French, but not like a native French speaker? She claims multiple anons, but couldn’t it just be the same one again? And KS follows Gia and Gia follows her. Wouldn’t that be a hot mess for SH to be in? Lots of DMs sent to P but not ONE photo, not one. It’s very suspicious and honestly tiresome. Feels like she’s stuck in the 13 year old gossip girl stage. @bcacstuff how many ridiculous, unsupported DMs do you get on a regular basis vs how many real photos that can be verified?

He has lots of scheduled appearances and work this week. When will he have time for both of these women and PR? And when’s the last time SH mixed acting work/show promo with time with a woman-especially in NY when all fans know he is there?

Either P is right and this man somehow gets all of these women to blindly and openly jump into a “relationship” with him (mind you, without doing any research on him🤪), or he actually hasn’t dated that many women since the Hawaii mess and this is mostly conjecture and rumor. Perhaps his life is more busy and boring than we all know.

I think she's so focussed on having her 'scoop', already calling it a 'scoop' when seriously her 'proof' is nothing more than the bedsheets on shipper's side, perhaps even less.

It's most likely one and the same Anon stirring the pot all the time. Does it really not occur to her that it's just the same one having a lot of fun because of a made up story from the beginning. And what does it take? 3 Anon messages, to keep her entertained for months now. It's called tunnel vision I believe.

I had my share of ridiculous Anons, it's not that much right now, as people know he's working and I don't post those kind of messages that have no merit at all. It sort of hypes up when we know he's having time off and travels. But still, it takes a bit more than just being a model or show of a lot of skin on an IG page and a like or coincidentally being in the same city where millions of other people live or go to. The ones I've seen and can be verified, is just AM, of which we found videos in Paris in clubs, undeniably being on fuckation after a date in London and a roundtrip in Scotland.

KE last summer was an option at first, as he was on a roadtrip, and she had her connections (outdoorsy) and well, that dog looked a hell of a lot like hers... but actually verified, no. Strong indications, yes.

After that, nothing to verify or even be suspicious about. Working, and yes, you said it, that connection to Gia is more a red flag than something that could indicate anything at all. We've even seen how he spends all his free time with family and friends, Xmas, New Year, Easter, his birthday even with friends in Miami. lol, it's ridiculous to think some woman would be hiding or waiting for him to get back to his hotel room wasted from the alcohol to get laid by him. Just the idea 😂😂😂 Did you see his face when he was seen first in NYC after the partying hard in Miami? He's not in his 20s anymore.... #justsaying

[velvet-cupcake-games]

Made Marion Development Update, November 2022

Hi everyone! Thanks so much for your patience with our skipped October update. We're in that awkward stage of development where it's a lot of writing and behind-the-scenes work, so we just didn't have a lot to show last month.

The Writing Department:

I've hit my first major milestone in Robin's route! Here's hoping that writing goes ever faster from here on out. It's been a huge struggle for me since my bout with long Covid, because my brain keeps fighting me and making it difficult for me to pull out words. But I've been writing some fanfic and that's actually been helping me make more progress on Made Marion's script as I retrain my skull-encased electrified tapioca to string sentences together. Check our socials over the next month (or maybe just Tumblr, who knows how long Twitter will be up at this juncture) if you're a fan of Gilded Shadows and want to see me playing around with the crew from Quill's route. I'll post a link when I'm done!

The Art Department:

Ysolt, on the left, may be familiar to some of you who check our Discord. She was a possible backer-designed sprite who wasn't claimed by our character design backers, so we collected suggestions from our Discord participants for her design! 

At the start of the game, Geoffrey's old Lady Chamberlain is about to get married and quit her job. He needs somebody to run Nottingham Hold, which is partly why he was closing his marriage contract with Marion's father. What happens when his prospective bride disappears or runs away with the Sherwood rebels and he never meets or is rejected by "Lady Anne"? He hires the recently-widowed Lady Ysolt to be his new Lady Chamberlain. She works for him on every route except Geoff/Gui's and Alanna's. She looks quite competent, doesn't she?

On the right is Fawzia. She is many things: freebooter turned smuggler, Meissa's friend, unsung hero of the internal revolt that ended the Nibirian War. She's the reason Meissa has so many nice Nibirian fabrics and art objects in their home. She also helps supply the Rebellion. As someone who left her native Sunjata due to her lack of citizenship status in any city-state, Fawzia is a fan of freedom movements. Fun fact: She will be a love interest in our third planned game,Fatebreaker, which is set during the Nibirian revolt. Sorry to those of you who would like to romance her now - never fear, you can romance her slightly younger self later!

The Programming Department:

Every time I swear I'm done with screens (any of y'all who have played with Ren'py know what I'm talking about), I remember that the darn things can be very useful sometimes.

Neutral endings, like the one pictured above, come with a sepia tone screen. Good endings are full color and bad endings are black and white - perhaps with a bit of blood splatter for those really bad endings.

We are Hiring!

We are currently looking for a freelance 2D Visual FX artist to join our team for a series of commissions over the rest of development. We're looking for some simple animations to spruce up the game, such as sword swing FX during combat scenes and some magic spell effects. Please see our job announcement and if you or anybody you know is a freelance artist with animated VFX skills, contact me via Twitter, Tumblr, or Discord (I don't recommend KS because we're moving quickly and it doesn't always alert me when I have messages).

That's the Made Marion news from November! See you next month!

#made marion dev update #english otome #amare game

[yutafrita]

hiii im the same one who sent the hcs to theough the website im rereading it again which is GREAT I LOVE IT even though i want more of your sungchan fics to be known more the angel one ks CHEFS KISS I LOVE ITTT but just a question especially now with riize debuting and potentially aespa being there what characters do you think if you would write it now will you put as riize characters (like for ex: sohee instead of taeil) just asking for my curiosity help and also cause i dont want the fic to hust be nct with friends i want my riize to be in it to whhsdjjdfi

Omg hiii how are you doing??? Thank you for reading and Angel my Angel and me!!! It was fun to write <3

Some of my works grow slowly haha. My seventeen works tend to do better than any of my other stuff. But since I write for myself, when I decide on a subject it’s decided based on who I’m getting the inspiration from- which as of late has been Sungchan!

When I write for nct I try to write the characters not with their traditional besties. That's why in my Sungchan works I never had his bestie be Shotaro (except in like two one shots), or in my Jaemin centered stories I never had his bestie be Jeno.

Since I did write the characters with their inspirations in mind not everyone would be a clean 1-to-1 change. However this is going to be super fun for me to think about who would fit best where and why, so I hope you enjoy it 🤓

THROUGH THE WEBS

Taeil -> Sohee. You got this one pretty on target! He's the main vocalist so it makes sense to have him with the same power as Taeil.

Ten -> Wonbin. This one is just based on pure vibes.

Jaemin -> Eunseok. With the way Jaemin was written in the original to me Eunseok clicks well with this character. I also think Eunseok would work well as having the electricity powers that Jaemin had.

Taeyong-> he would probably stay the same? I made him Sungchan’s brother for a few reasons but I don’t really feel like Shotaro or Eunseok would make sense for this part.

THE ETERNAL TRAGEDY I would have to change the original structure in this theoretical situation lol. In this case, Yuta's character would either have to be removed entirely (I love you bby I'm sorry) or left in so I'll just have to focus on the other characters.

Jaemin -> Shotaro. Due to the nature of the story I would honestly switch their two characters.

Johnny -> Wonbin. (spoilers I guess?) Johnny is also a representation of Venus. He’s also appears easygoing while really being hard worker. I feel like for the eternal tragedy wonbin would work here, although I’d likely make him only in charge of the bar in Mercury.

Ten -> Sohee. Ten’s a representation of Mercury and I feel like Sohee would best work as this too.

Kun -> honestly idk who in riize would fit this character. He’s a representation of Neptune and Neptune was always Jupiter’s adversary.

Taeyong -> Stays the same! Since him, Taemin, and Taeyeon are the fates there wouldn’t need to be a change.

AN ANGEL, MY ANGEL, AND ME

Yangyang -> Anton! Yangyang’s character here was very much trickster so if I would have to switch him out for anyone it would be Anton. I think his dynamic as a warlock would be fun.

…. And done! This was so much fun 🥰thank you again for sending this over!!

#nat talks! #send me asks!!! #through the webs #the eternal tragedy #an angel my angel and me #riize x reader

[bonesandthebees]

Okay, so obviously I’m starting with the beginning and then I’m skipping to the ending and I’ll do everything in between later cuz there’s so much to unpack. Bee, why do you do this to me? /j.

First of all, Wilbur is edging closer and closer to letting Tommy see him without the blindfold on. Not his eyes, of course, just his face. Which Tommy has yet to see in full. I always assumed he hid his face just in case he accidentally opened his eyes and I do think that was or is a part of it. But the bigger part seems to be a rule I somehow missed. No one is allowed to see Wilbur’s face, I’m sure it was there and I just forgot. But it’s another rule. And Wilbur is kinda done with rules. He’s broken a lot by this point. So what’s one more? It’s a very fun mentality that’s slowly going to fix him. It also influences a lot of his other actions and decisions through out the chapter, but I’ll get there.

It’s very fun seeing Wilbur worried about Tommy for once. Not that he hasn’t worried before. He was quite stressed about hurting Tommy with the vision and him being okay after. (speaking of which, if Wilbur were to get that same vision now there’s no way he would do it). But back then Wilbur was the only thing that could cause any danger to Tommy. As far as most people *cough* Tubbo *cough* are concerned, the only thing that poses any danger to Tommy within the temple is Wilbur,

Tommy is not only about to be away from Wikbur for the first time. He’s also about to be in actual danger (which Wilbur has no control over) for the first time. Combine that with the fact that Tommy’s the first and possibly only person Wiobur has gotten properly attached to and we get some nice separation anxiety kicking Iin. And it kicks in hard. Also, I don’t know if it’s fair to call it separation anxiety if Tommy is doing something dangerous, but the symptoms definitely feel like separation anxiety to me.

Then there’s Tommy’s unreadab.e expressions. Most of them at realising that Wilbur ks worried about him. Worried for him. I wonder if that effects his ability to run, aside from being a bit rusty (possibly). I wonder if the idea that he has to get back to Wilbur affects his judgement. I wonder if wanting to get back faster so Wilbur can stop worrying makes his less careful or more careless.

Also, you’ve written yet another fic where crime boys go acab. Hell yeah. Also the pig comment sent me.

-🌲

oh yeah I think I brought this up before during the first time they went to quackity's bar, but there is a sort of more 'unofficial' rule where people aren't supposed to see the pythia's face. that's why he was wearing the veil the night of the ball. if the pythia is faceless, it's easier to think of them as a vessel rather than an individual. it's another dehumanization thing basically. also hiding faces helps to obscure the age of the pythia as well, so another way to prevent them from being seen as an individual. but yes his mentality is finally shifting!!

YUPPP now wilbur is the one super worried about tommy!! it was a very nice switch up to write since we've spent so long with tommy being the really protective worrier over wil. now tommy is the one in danger though. he's going to be away from the temple, away from wilbur, and he'll be in a lot of danger. of course wilbur isn't handling this well. tommy is literally the first person he's had a proper friendship with basically in his entire life.

hmm maybe tommy's own worries and stress affected his judgement, maybe not, you'll have to wait to find out :)

considering l'manberg was basically founded on acab it's almost a sin if you dont have crimeboys say acab lmaoooo

#ask #spruce anon #through a glass divine

[goldemas1244]

Bonus Headcanoon (just for fun)!

Zhask is capable of learning any language as long as he's heard the words being spoken before. Of course, this also means that he's an audio thesaurus. Learning by sound and association.

Just don't show him the text or ask him to write something down, he can't bloody read. He doesn't even know the letters.

But of course he CAN learn. Usually by digging deep into the brains of other people. But he and Yve had had an agreement not to do that unless if the situation needs it direly (like when they're about to die with very important information). Of course that usually never happens so he's stuck with scratching his (and Jawhead's) noggin with the ABCs.

Sample dialogues:

"What do you mean it's spelled with a C and a B? The noise is K and M! Why is it spelled C R U M B but sounds like K-RUM??"

- Learning his Cs, Ks, and silent letters.

"Why are there spelling differences. You're telling me that if I spell it according to a different region's spelling it's wrong systematically??"

- Learning the spelling differences depending on where you come from.

"Are there 24 letters? 25?? 26??? How are we still so confused about this????"

- Dude I don't know either man.

"We never had this problem on Kastiya."

- Grampa.

"Back in my day if we couldn't think we had to spend an hour mental training. You mean to tell me you children get put into a corner?? No I will no- fine I'll go to the corner and think about my pitiful life choices."

- Grampa recalls the good ol' days.

"Oh you're giving your peculiar letters to my Kastiyan words now aren't you. Yve, we talked about this, Kastiyan stays Kastiyan."

- It's slightly offensive to him. He'll grow into it.

"Speaking of, HOW THE FUCK DO I EVEN SPELL YOUR NAME??? Y E E V? E V E?? E E V??? Oh wait it's Y V E okay Y V E.... Who named you???"

- What we all thought of except backwards.

"Zhask. Z H A S K. That's clear enough. Why can't you have a name like mine YVE?"

- Well-placed sass is a sign of a healthy mind.

"Spell C A T. Oh I am not going through this again. C A T. Oh that was right? OH THANK GOD-"

- Achievement!

"Shaloshta (mom/mother)... I want to go home... I'm scared... there's a Q...."

- Learning of the existence of Qs and queues.

"THERE'S DIFFERENT LETTERS???"

- Learning that no, not everybody uses the same set of letters on this planet too.

And the list goes on....

#headcanon #headcanoon #zhask #zhaskposting #ml #mlbb #mobile legends #mobile legends bang bang #just for fun

[eff-plays]

(just going to call myself bad romance anon because its funny) ahhh dont feel like you need to apologise for the ramble! it's a good ramble to read! how *would* a fairly kind and maybe noble person, end up apealing to astarion's more... capricious tendancies, and more importantly, what would they see in him behind his ~sauve and sexy vampire~ facade. It opens up interesting doors it's fun to think about!

and i would! but i'll try to keep it to just the initial yikes of their dynamic so I don't leave a full essay in here- I went in wanting to make a character who did have very self-serving morals, I am a very big fan of writing weird toxic relationships that sort of work, but only for the people involved. So my barb "KS" is outwardly a big, arrogant bully. Astarion singles him out for that, someone big, strong, in charge and, crucially, not very bright. Someone he would *want* to be in the good graces of, someone he can use to stay safe. But that's him falling for someone elses front. KS portrays himself as the biggest, toughest guy in the room, because that is what hes learned keeps him safe, and keeps him around but at arms length. He is, at heart, a very isolated person who is afraid of being alone, and has had very little gentleness turned his way. And that horrible desperate lonliness is why he initially falls for Astarion's honestly rizzless template flirting. They start out by using eachother, almost on autopilot, before they start to catch on to eachothers insincerity, and eachothers lack of self-respect.

Ooh that sounds very angsty and troubled indeed! I can definitely see both of them going for the other for these reasons, yeah. Particularly why KS might fall for Astarion's schtick, cuz when you're desperate for any sort of positive attention it flies under your radar that it might be fake, or maybe you know on some level that it is but ignore the warning signs because you hope they're not there.

It seems like they have a lot of things in common, in that they're both putting on fronts but are very isolated. So when you break down the initial barriers, the gooey centers are free to mix because even if they're not made of the exactly same stuff, they have the same consistency. Like when you mix eggs together into an omelet 😌

#does that make sense? idk i'm insane<3 #bg3 #other people's ocs

[katcoquette]

Hi! Can I request a matchup for marauders era? Preferably a male character

Appereance: Hazel eyes and bronw hair. I have bangs and pretty thick hair. I would say I am on the thinner side. My nose is kinda long and my exebrows are thick. My height ks 5.3 ft. My body shape is hourglass amd my face shape is probably square (not sure).

My style is dark academia and lots of retro pieces.

Personality: I am INTP, 5w4. Iam Gryffindor. I am goofy, funny and creative at my best. At my worst I am Hot-headed, Stubborn and I am bad at expressing my feelings. I am also very sarcastic and introverted. Family before friends. I don’t like studying.

I like reading and writing. I am also interested in the supernatural and true crime. I would like to be a writer or work in a bookshop.

Thank you and have a nice day ❤️

I ship you with...Sirius Black!

Enjoy! <3

Your secondary pairing is Regulus Black. I could see you with either of them, but I felt Sirius in my heart ahaha

Before you met Sirius, you struggled to express your feelings. But Sirius didn’t mind, in fact, he was always patient with you, never judging you or getting upset when you couldn’t explain how you felt. Now, you feel comfortable enough to share everything with him, he’s your biggest confidant.

When he found out you wanted to be a writer, he took you to his favorite book shop because he thought you would enjoy it. It quickly became a spot the two of you spent lots of time together. Your other favorite place to visit with him is the record store. You have to sneak out of Hogwarts to get to it, and the adventure always pays off. Your combined record collection is the envy of your school.

You always have a fun time together. He finds out quickly that he laughs the hardest when he’s with you, and he loves your goofy personality. He thinks he should tell you more often, but he’s in absolute awe of your creativity and thinks that you’ll be the most amazing writer.

#hp ship #harry potter #hp fandom #harry potter fandom #ships #sirius black #sirius #sirius ship #sirius black ship

[darecruit]

Hi! I loved your Faberry spanking one-shot and I was wondering if you have any suggestions how to start a story for that? I mean, what kind of stories are better in your opinion (as I can't decide myself) - the "discipline" ones (when there are terms and conditions) or role play ones? I've read some of both kinds and enjoyed them but won't, f.e., "role-playing" as teacher/student, boss/employee be weird?

I like both as well. And the role play ones, especially teacher/student can be so much fun to write. I read an HP Snape/Hermione story on FFN once that was Hermione in detention with Snape and he spanked and then f**ks her and it isn’t until the very last sentence that you realize it’s all role play and Hermione is well out of school and married to Snape. It was so well done. I can’t remember the title of it or who wrote it, but that’s always been one that stuck with me.

#asks #writing #fanfic

[scandiengbergs3]

Sunday afternoon

Ok, back at it here -- I am actually writing this in the most beautiful setting!  We drove mid-afternoon today to southwestern Finland, to Naantali, and we are staying the Naantali Resort and Spa and I am sitting on the deck watching the sun set (at 11 p.m.) over a small marina!  It is gorgeous.  But, I will have to get to Monday’s details another time, probably tomorrow. 

Anyway, so after we finished up at the Architecture Museum on Sunday afternoon, we did something we’ve never done in Helsinki: ride the ferris wheel down at the harbor!  It was so fun -- twelve minutes of pure fun ;)  But, unfortunately, at around this time, Eric’s back was really starting to hurt him.  Now, this is a totally novel phenomenon. He never has had back pain, at least not in a dire way. When we were loading up in the ferris wheel car, and while we were on the ride, and afterwards, he was in such misery.  He walked home after the ferris wheel (but he still did enjoy, through the pain, all of the panoramic views of Helsinki we could soak in!), but halfway home, he decided to ride a scooter the rest of the way. He got home and laid down immediately. That was all he could do!

Meanwhile, the kids and I went to Stockmann (a department store), so I could go to the food hall and the children’s department, two favorite stops.  The food hall is a thing of wonder.  If you’ve never been to a European department store’s food hall, and you’ve never read my past blogs in which I rave about them, well, what can I tell you.  They really and  truly have it all. Anyway, we went to the children’s department after moseying through the food hall.  We barely scratched the surface of the children’s department; we left with two things and then had to race to the nearby “mall” to go to Flying Tiger again because I needed to get some icepacks for some food we needed to take with us when we hit the road on Monday.  And I did get a hot/cold pack too, but that was not long for this world (once I got back to the apartment, Eric used it once, and then re-heated it, and it exploded). So long, Flying Tiger hot/cold pack!

So, once we got home and tried to help Eric with his situation, I realized that I had once had a similar problem.  When we were in Durango a few summers ago, I had a terrrrrrible bout of sciatic nerve pain in my back.  I literally thought my appendix had burst or I was having kidney stones or who the heck knew!  I had never had pain like that! I could barely walk from the bed to the bathroom! So, that time, I went to the urgent care and the provider there told me it was sciatica and said to be religious for a few days with icing the area and taking ibuprofen.  So, I did that, and within a few days, it subsided.  And so I gave Eric that same course of action -- et voilá!  He went to bed at like 10 p.m. and then this morning, Monday, at 7 a.m. he woke up, and the pain had gone away!  Hallelujah! 

Anyway, it took Rowan a very long, long time to fall asleep on Sunday night, partially because he was desperate to finish reading a book he was reading some of Sunday (he has not been very book-wormy during our travels, like he often is).  He was soooo determined to read his book and then, when I heard giggles at 11 p.m., I realized he was still up reading!  So, he had a late night.

I wanted to share a few observations that are basically non-sequiturs.  First off, I didn’t mention that when the kids and I were driving back to Stockholm after getting the car, I managed to figure out the Swedish road-side rest-stop/gas station situation.  You might think this unremarkable, but it is somewhat nerve-racking to figure out how something works in another country, something that we take for granted at home. For a while, I kept misjudging where the exit was relative to the signage for it.  On like the third time, I got it right, and then realized that many of the road-side rest-stops are Circle Ks.  I found that interesting.  The one we went to had print-outs taped to the doors about being sure to take your items out of your car, because thieves were around.  The kids remarked on that.  

OK, so my second observation is more of a “Note to Self." It is very hard to come by decaf espresso in Europe.  They think a person stupid for imbibing such a thing.  Some of my friends think that too, haha ;)  Anyway, I always bring my own, but it is nice to be able to get one while out, too!  And lo and behold, they have it at the amaaaazing Helsinki main library, the Oodi.  We have gone there on two previous visits and holy smokes, it is THE most amazing building.  Be sure you visit the link.  In addition to being just a breathtaking space, they also have decaf espresso in their level 3 cafe!  Hooray!

I can’t remember what my third Note to Self was, but it may come back to me before my next post.  Have a great Monday!

[languor-em]

Inscryption prompts you say?

May we receive some crumbs of angst with the prompt of Leshy arguing with the scrybes after they were turned to cards — with him believing this is the Best Possible Way to go on but they're angry and hurt and feel betrayed? Possibly leading up to the wolf and stinkbug being locked away?

OH BUT THIS IS A VERY GOOD PROMPT!!!

Here y'all go!!! Angst!!! And super spoilery so!! Be warned!!! (Also I smattered in some personal headcanons because I'm a simp and legally required to do so)

That Unwanted Animal

In which Leshy tries to forget.

"What have you done?"

To his credit, Leshy did not respond to the card's accusatory words. He simply continued to sit and carve his masks, hoping fruitlessly that the repetitive shhk sshhhk of his knife scraping against wood would drown out that familiar voice. Stave off the guilt, he supposed.

"Do you have any idea what you have done? What you have destroyed?"

A different voice, less heartbroken and far more angry.

He ignored this one, too. Instead he focused on bringing life to the Prospector's face.

"Listen to me you Stinking Beast! Stop this madness!"

He tensed in spite of himself, painful guilt clawing a festering home in his chest. But he still made no move to acknowledge the three cards flung haphazardly on his table. His hands shook- imperceptible to most aside from him and his closest friends.

Naturally, they noticed.

"At least have the decency to look at us! At what you've done!"

And as desperately as he did not want to, he did.

And there was guilt, that unwanted animal, sinking jagged fangs into the flesh of his throat.

Three cards for three companions, three friends, three Scrybes. Three times he had betrayed those closest to him.

For the greater good, he reminded himself, to preserve them in forms befitting their honor. To save them.

"It is for the best," he said matter-of-factly, looking from the cards back to his carving.

"Say that enough and maybe you will begin to actually believe it," snapped the Stunted Wolf. Leshy did not respond.

"Leshy, dearest-" it was the Stinkbug who spoke next- her sweet, shaking voice doing nothing but driving guilt's teeth further into his throat, "It is alright to be frightened, love. We are all scared. But you do not have to handle this alone! We can get through this together!"

He knew in his heart that it was going to be her who struck him the hardest, gave him the most pause. They were one in the same cycle, after all. Life and Death, connected intrinsically. But he would not allow himself to be swayed, not even by her.

They would have done the same, hissed the frightened animal in his mind, Would have caged you, locked you away to rot in dust. No, this is honorable. This is right. This is noble.

"It is for the best," he said again, his tone firm and conclusive. Though he knew, just as the others did, that he did not quite believe himself.

The room went quiet, save for the faint crackling of a dying fire and the shy return of Leshy's carving. He thought, for a moment, that that was perhaps the end of it.

"I can't believe I trusted you."

It was the Stoat who broke through the veil of silence, its voice strangely weak in comparison to it's usual cocky cadence.

"I- we thought we were safe with you. And you just..."

It trailed off, it's voice failing it for the first time in its long, long life.

"You have killed us all, Leshy," said the wolf, his voice harsh and cold, "And for what? Power? Domination?"

"To protect you all!"

His outburst surprised them all, including himself. He had stood with a strength he usually tried to keep hidden, wooden claws digging dents into his table and splintering the surface. He was positively bristling, his long tail thrashing with barely contained frustration.

How could they not see? How could they not understand? The world was ending, rotting! It would have ended them all had he not done anything about it! He had saved them! Put them in the noble bodies of beasts, for them! This was not about power, not about games, and certainly not about domination! This was about...

Absolution.

He had lost something before to that all corrupting nothing. He could not quite remember what, who- but he knew he had not been able to protect them. And that fact ate him up inside, more so than that cruel animal Guilt ever could.

"You have not seen what I have," he finally murmered, his head cast downwards, "You do not know what I now know. Believe me, this is for the best. This is the only way."

And that was the end of it. The cards' words fell on now deaf ears, the Scrybe stubbornly forcing their names and faces from his mind.

And eventually, to an extent, it worked.

He no longer knew why looking at those talking cards brought him such pain. He did not know why the blighted pit in his chest made him lock the Stunted Wolf and the Stinkbug away where he could no longer see them. And he could not remember why he couldn't bear to do the same to the Stoat.

Leshy, the once great Scrybe of Beasts, one of four, was now just a man.

A frightened, lonely man.

A man who had forgotten.

And for that, a part of him was grateful.

And for that, the whole of him regretted.

#i hope you like this one!! #i wrote it during work yesterday- so its?? not super thought out?? #but i had fun!! and i hope you like it!! #i imagined this tsking place in the same timeline where my last x reader fic took place?? #but that doesnt have to be the case!!! #a part of leshy regrets locking the others away and you CANT CHANGE MY MIND!! #hes just scared man #and frightened animals do desperate things #anyway!! i hope you like it!!! angst!!! whoo!!! #ron talks #ron writes #inscryption #inscryption spoilers #leshy inscryption #also all of my fic titles are song titles!! #and this ks a very good song- i suggest you listen to it!! that unwanted animal by the amazing devil!! #it has the guy who plays jeskier in the witcher!!! #anyway that is very off topic #love you all!! drink water!!! take care of yourselves!!

[writerofshit]

for the ship asks, 19 (things you said when we were the happiest we ever were) and stream team (treh, myatt, and lil j)?

(So. Maybe not to the heart of the prompt, but the happiest I've ever been was simply existing with people I loved.)

19. things you said when we were the happiest we ever were 

“Goddamnit Jeremy!” Matt’s voice rings out through the apartment, loud and vaguely angry. He's in the kitchen, which means he has just stumbled upon what Jeremy has done. “I’m gonna fuckin’ kill you.”

Jeremy glances at Trevor, sitting beside him on the couch. “Any chance you wanna take the blame for this one?”

“Depends.” Trevor doesn’t take his eyes off of his character on screen. “What did you do?”

Before Jeremy can respond, Matt stomps into the room, empty cereal box in hand. “You knew I was looking forward to this!" On the last word, he gestures aggressively with the box. "Asshole."

"Matt, look-" on screen, Jeremy's character dies, and he tosses the controller onto the coffee table. "In my defense, Trevor did it."

"Oh no no, don't involve me in this." Trevor leans to the side, an apparent effort to make his character do the same. It doesn't work, and he dies too. "Fuck."

"Sounds great, but a little difficult on an empty fucking stomach." Matt says drily, hand on his hip. "You owe me a box of cereal, Jeremy."

"Matt, come here." Jeremy reaches toward him, but he doesn't move. "Matt please." He makes a grabby motion at him. With a heavy sigh, Matt extends his hand and allows himself to be pulled onto the couch. "Listen, why don't the three of us go out to eat, that way you're not eating cereal for dinner like an animal-"

“Well that’s just mean for no reason.”

“And on the way back I will buy you more cereal.” Jeremy finishes as though Matt hadn’t interrupted him.

Matt eyes him suspiciously, as though he’s waiting for the catch. He looks to Trevor as well, who holds up his hands in ‘I don’t know, I’m just here’. Finally, he nods. “Fine. But you’re paying for me.”

“Sure Matt.” Jeremy says with a patient smile. “I’ll buy you dinner too.”

“Hey Jeremy,” Trevor begins, resting his arm on Jeremy’s shoulder. “Since you’re throwing around cash like you have it, remember that time you tried to blame me for eating Matt’s cereal?”

“You mean literally three minutes ago?” Matt says, chuckling.

“You guys are the worst.” Jeremy leans back into the couch, crossing his arms firmly.

“Says the cereal thief.” Matt says with a pointed look at him.

Jeremy tries his best to stare back, to hold an intimidating, or at least neutral expression. He fails after approximately three seconds. He’s got Trevor giggling in one ear and Matt looking annoyed at him. Even the strongest man couldn’t do it, and he is few from strong when it comes to them. He breaks into a grin, and Matt shakes his head.

“Asshole.” But he looks away, and Jeremy knows he’s smiling too. That’s all he can ask for.

---

Matt wakes up to the sound of the bedroom door opening. He has had one arm wrapped around Jeremy’s waist, and he tightens his grip ever so slightly. If someone is here to kill them, he won’t be much of a defense, but it’s still his instinct to try and protect his best friend. He cracks one eye open to find that it is in fact Trevor in the doorway, finally getting home.

“Hey Trevor.” He says quietly, hoping not to wake Jeremy. It doesn’t work, and Jeremy shifts beside him, lifting his head to also peer at the door.

“Hey, you made it.” He mumbles, head falling back to the pillow.

“Yeah, I’m sorry I’m so late.” Matt hears the sound of Trevor dropping his keys and wallet into the dresser, and then the sound of the closet door. “You wouldn’t believe the shit that went down after you guys left.” 

“Hmm. Can’t wait to hear this. We’re all ears.” Despite his words, Jeremy turns himself toward Matt, curling into his chest. Matt rolls to his back, bringing Jeremy with him.

Trevor re-emerges from the closet, presumably in pajamas of some sort. He slips into bed beside Jeremy, and Matt makes his best effort to reach an arm toward him. “What happened?”

Trevor's hand finds his in the dark. “Just… remind me who put me in charge of Michael and Gavin?”

“That would be you and Geoff, I think.” Matt squeezes his hand gently. “At least you’re home now.”

“Yeah, barely. You know they somehow got involved in a three hour police chase?”

“Jesus Christ.” It’s not shocking by any means, and they’ve all certainly had worse, but still. The aftermath of Michael and Gavin chaos can be a real shitshow.

“They got away, obviously, but Jack and I are both thinking we lay low for a few days.” Trevor squeezes Matt’s hand one last time before pulling away, opting instead to curl himself around Jeremy.

“Makes sense to me.” Laying low may not be his favorite way to operate, but he trusts Trevor’s judgement. If he and Jack think it’s necessary, it must be. Odds are, it’ll be the three of them holed up in this apartment for a week, the rest of the crew in various homes across the city. 

“Wha-“ Jeremy shifts at the touch. “Shit, Trevor, I’m sorry, I missed all of that.”

Trevor only chuckles. “You’re good, man.” Matt feels Trevor’s hand slip between his chest and Jeremy’s. “Go back to sleep.” He hears Trevor press a kiss to Jeremy’s shoulder, followed by a fond, contented sigh.

Maybe laying low won’t be all bad. Boring, sure, but at least they’ll be together.

---

“You know I love you both to death, and I’ll support anything you guys want to do, but if you think that wall is structurally sound, I- I really don’t know how to help you.” Trevor is standing in the middle of the living room, one hand on his hip, pointing at two precariously leaned pillows.

“Alright, it’s not done yet-“ Matt begins, shooting him an exasperated look.

“Yeah, and we’ll thank you not to judge us until our vision is fully realized.” Jeremy says, voice monotone. Immediately, he breaks into a giggle. “God, can you imagine if I talked like that?” he picks up his beer from the coffee table, taking a long sip.

“See, I don’t like that because it really sounded like you were doing an impression of me.” Matt says, kneeling down next to the compromised pillow wall. He tries to adjust it slightly, and it collapses, taking three more pillows with it. “Shit.”

“I don’t wanna say I told you so, but…” Trevor trails off into laughter.

“Alright Mr. Fuckin Engineer,” Matt sits back and gestures broadly at the mess of pillows and blankets surrounding him. “You figure out how to give pillows integrity.”

“Well first off, don’t build walls out of pillows.” Trevor mutters, sitting cross legged beside Matt on the floor.

“Trevor, it’s a pillow fort.” Jeremy emphasizes, waving his beer around. “What are we supposed to use, concrete?”

“No,” Trevor says, squeezing the various pillows that have fallen, searching for the firmest ones. “but also don’t use the softest pillows we own as a base.” He takes the one he’s least satisfied with and chucks it in Jeremy’s direction, hitting him squarely in the chest.

“Trevor!” Jeremy stares at him incredulously, mouth slightly hanging open. “I did nothing to you!”

“Maybe that’s the problem.” Matt deadpans, and now Jeremy whips the pillow back at him.

The entire situation dissolves quickly from there, going from the very ambitious fort plan to an all out pillow war. It’s all obscenities and insults and laughter, pillows flying in all directions. Jeremy claims the couch, yelling something about height advantage and fairness. Trevor full on falls multiple times, trying desperately to jump over projectiles. It absolutely doesn’t work. Matt tries to take shelter under a blanket, which is a poor choice. The other two truce long enough to dogpile on him, and then they’re three idiots wrestling on the floor.

When they’re all tuckered out, they wind up just staying down there, constructing something that’s less pillow fort and more pillow nest. Regardless of what their original plan was, Trevor is inclined to think that this is better. Its nice to just have fun, be a little silly with the two people he loves most. He can’t think of a better way to spend a a Tuesday night.

#This can be summed up with: #Jeremy’s love language is wreaking inconsequential havoc #Matt’s is cuddles and being a supportive ear #and Tevors is getting to be silly with people he loves. #I just… I love the idea that the Happiest Times™ are not some grandiose moment #but simply living a life with people you care about #this was very fun to write #thank you for the request! #i hope you enjoy! #whats their ship name? #im truly blanking... ahh someone let me know #ragehappy #ks writes #ks talks #winkyblinkyandstew

[silverdecepticon93]

Dating king shark hc? Please help I’m obsessed with this boi.... (my autism has decided I love him, not that surprising since I like venom too but honestly prefer scream, I feel like you’d like scream too .)

*Yes, I would be happy to write these and I based these off of Suicide Squad KS!

- Nanaue is a sweetheart but a sweetheart that you have to be cautious with because, well, he's got a tendency of kinda hurting (or eating) people that he loves by accident.

- But he tries really hard not to eat you because he does genuinely love you and doesn't ever want to hurt you, so just try not to bleed when you two go swimming or he'll pretty much try to be very cautious in how he approaches you and is slightly protective of you.

- Honestly it's like Venom where you have to tell him not to eat people or things that he's not supposed to. Like, if you have a pet, chances are that he's tried to eat it but you were there like: "NO! Nanaue, do not eat (p/n)!" and then he slowly puts it down but gets sad because he thought he made you upset.

- Just cuddle him and explain to him why he's not allowed to do that and he promises that he'll try better next time.

- Literally would love if you guys go swimming together, you can trust him to keep you safe and if you want to venture to deeper waters, he'll have you climb on his back and hang onto his fin (but be careful not to hold it too hard) then swim out into the water with you.

- He could summon his "cousins" (normal and regular sharks) if you're interested in sharks but he is still very protective of you and just has you stay on his back.

- Is amazed at the size differences between you both and really enjoys comparing. He likes seeing your tiny hand in his own and just tilts his head and smiles softly as he sees how small it is.

- You can info dump around him and he'd honestly love it. He's a very good listener and absorbs everything from your words to the excited way you talk about things. He likes seeing you be passionate about things and does try to remember all the things you talk about.

- The idea of you teaching him how to read or reading to your giant shark boyfriend is honestly adorable because you're sitting on the couch and he's sitting on the floor (because he's kinda too heavy to sit on your couch but that's fine), his knees to his chest and his head on your thigh trying listening and piecing together the words that you're reading to him.

- Honestly expect fun moments where he likes to read with you so he picks out random books from your bookshelf and hands them to you and politely asks if you could read to him.

- There are times where he'll pick out a book like 50 Shades of Gray and you just blush but laugh and tell him he might not be ready for that book.

- Honest to God water puppy, if you have a job to go to or you've got to leave somewhere at any point in the day, he gets sad and misses you already. He swims around the area of your home and, if he misses you really badly, swims around the area were your workplace is in hopes to catch a glimpse of you, causing lots of shark sightings near where you work and you just sigh because your know it's Nanaue.

- There will be a few bite marks here and there during make-out sessions but he tries not to bite on you too hard but yeah, huge bite marks that concern your family and your friends.

- He is a sweetie and really does do his best to restrain his instincts for you because he's been so lonely for a long time, wishing for a friend, and instead got an amazing lover like you. Either way, he really doesn't want to hurt you and would never forgive himself if he did.

#Nanaue x reader #Nanaue x you #King Shark x reader #King Shark x you #Dc x reader #Dc x you #Suicide Squad x reader #Suicide Squad x you #Dc villains x reader #Dc villains x you #I Only Date Villains #Thanks for your request!

[delu-jean]

𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭 (𝟏𝟎𝟎 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭)

Hello! As this event takes place, requests will be closed since juggling both will be a little tiring! 

-> Thanks: Thank you guys for 100 follows! I’m glad my writing is something others can enjoy, and I’ll keep on doing my best to both improve, and deliver. 

Event: 

-> Song-Fic/ Song Lyric Event: There are forty five prompts with different song lyrics! Some angst, and others fluff, but all revolve around romance~

->Each fic will revolve around the lyric specifically, or the entire song!

->Eg of fic with just the lyric (specifcially): I may use the lyric as a line you, or another character would say, it might pop up when needed, and etc. A fic example would be: “Before You Go” (Nanami Kento x fem!/reader). 

->Eg of fic with entire song: Basically a song-fic

->Eg of fic wihtout lyrics in it: I present the lyrical prompt at the beginning of the fic, and write w/o needing to use it as an actual line, or anything else. 

->Whichever is found fitting, will be used!! ^^

->Either way, the fic will be written about that lyrical prompt!! :))

Rules: (A must)

This event is one for (fem!xreader) x (<inserted male reader>) 

He needs to be a character from one of the five fandoms I write for! 

Jjk, Mha, Haikyuu, Aot, and Demon Slayer

If your guy isn’t on the list, by all means, request and I’ll tell you if I feel like I can write for him!! ^^

-> Link to the M.list <-

This is a non-nsfw event, and topics over 18+ aren’t allowed!! 

You can only request one character per prompt, unless, the prompt calls for two! (Even then, you can choose to only ask for one) 

My rules still apply for this event, if you would like specifics, please do ask, or look through the rules post! 

-> Rules <-

Key: 

Angst

Fluff 

You can request more than one character (max would be two) = ☆

Prompts: 

"What if I said I'm sorry, what if I made a scene? Wouldn't that make you mine again, you're all I'll ever need," -What If I Said I'm Sorry (Caliber)

"You won and she chose you, and she loved you, and she's gone…" -Its Over Isn't It? (DeeDee Magno Hall) ☆

"She's a she's a lady, and I am just a boy without a line," -Line without a hook (Ricky Montgomery) 

"Knew I was falling when I looked inside your eyes, and you said…'I know you are but what am I?" -What Am I? (Why don't we)

"I need a man who loves me like my Father loves my mom," -Like My father (Jax)

"You make my heart beat faster than adrenaline, you kiss away the pain of all the hell I’m in," -Medicine (James Arthur) 

"It's always one step forward, and three steps back. I'm the love of your life until I make you mad," -One step forward, and three steps back (Olivia Rodrigo) 

"Let's write our story, and let's sing our song. Let's hang our pictures on the wall," -Memories (Shawn Mendes) 

"Maybe you and I have history, but I don't think you know me. Have we met before?" -Have we met before (Eric Nam, Sarah Barrios) 

"Hey baby won't you look my way, I can be your new addiction~" -Everybody Talks (Neon Trees)

"She gets the flowers...right? The post made about her. A love that is perfect, a love I deserved, yeah. A love that I gave,” - She Gets the flowers (Betch MCcarthy) 

“I just heard you found the one you’ve been looking, that you’ve been looking for. I wish I would’ve known it wasn’t me,” -We Don’t Talk Anymore (Charlie Puth) 

“Even when we go through changes, even when we’re old. Remember that I told you I’d find my way back home,” -Way Back Home (SHUAN) 

“You say that it’s all just a blur, but I see you kissing her. No no, you gotta go, go, and I’ll be just fine without you,” -Goodbye Boy (Peg Parnivek)   

“You say that I'm too insecure, you want me to be someone else, but if I'm not the one you want...Just go ahead and walk right out the door,” -Who I am (NIve) 

“She’s In The Rain, you want to hurt yourself I’ll stay with you. You want to make yourself go through the pain. It’s better to be held than holding on,” -She’s In The Rain (The Rose) 

“If all it is is eight letters, why is it so hard to say? If all it is is eight letters then why am I in my own way?” -Eight Letters (Why Don’t We) 

“Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful angel. Love your imperfections every angle. Tomorrow comes and goes before you know...so i just had to let you know~” -Beautiful (Bazzi) 

“Congratulations, I heard you’re doing great...congratulations, how are you okay? I hate that you’re happy, I hope that you can’t sleep,” -Congratulations (Day 6) 

“I know I can treat you better than he can. And anyone like you deserves a gentleman,” -You Better (Shawn Mendes) ☆

“Congratulations, you’re finally leaving. Let’s throw a party here tonight, and toast to the end of you and I,” -Congratulations (Eric Nam) 

“Wise men say...only fools rush in. But I can’t help, falling in love...with...you,” -Fools Rush In (Elvis) 

“Don’t say you miss me, when you don’t call. Don’t say you’re hurting, without the scars. Don’t say you’re here tonight without tomorrow too. Don’t say you love me, unless you do,” -Don’t Say you Love Me (Fifth Harmony) 

“A lifetime of laughter at the expense, of the death of a bachelor,” -Death Of A Bachelor (Panic At The Disco)

“She told me that she loved me by the water fountain. She told me that she loved me and she didn’t love him. And that was really lovely cause it was innocent, but now she has a cup with something else in it…” -Water Fountain (Alec Benjamin) -> Oikawa x Reader ☆

“And I don’t need a reason to keep on dreaming. That we can with this stupid thing...called love,” -Lose (Nikki)

“Don’t take this personal, but personally, I think you should get with somebody like me. But worst of all...you don’t even see,” -Personal (The Vamps) 

“But you got a lot of great songs 'bout a lot of shit guys, you did more with 3 minutes than they'll do with their lives. And we'll buy ourselves houses with our heartbreak songs, screw everybody else who ever treated us wrong,” - Three Minutes (JP Saxe) ☆

“I’ve got all my money on you, got all my dollars on you. And I feel like a million bucks, a million bucks, and I give no f**ks when I’m with you,” -Million Bucks (Smallpools) 

“She put my name in yellow hearts. Her favourite colour like the stars. I didn’t listen very hard, when she told me she was crazy from the start,” -Yellow Hearts (Ant Saunders) 

“And I want you to cry, cry for me. Like I cried for you baby, cry for me,” -Cry For Me (Twice) 

“Please don’t let this love die young, please don’t let this love die young. If I’m going to lose someone, don’t let it be you,” -Love Die Young (Eric Nam) 

“Ain't never felt this way, can't get enough so stay with me. It's not like we got big plans. Let's drive around town holding hands,” -ILYSB (Lany)

“Maybe I don’t want to be just friends, see you only on the weekends. Sorry hope you understand, I like you a little too much for that,” -Just Friends (JORDY) 

“Golden eyes, if it ain’t you girl I don’t want to try. Baby, baby, baby you’re my diamond shine,” -Golden Eyes (Layto) 

“I like me better when I’m with you. I like me better when I’m with you. I knew from the first time, I stayed for a long time cause~ I like me better when I’m with you,” -I Like Me Better (Lauv) 

“Hey pretty Stranger, I think you look cute, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone like you,” -Your Text (Sundial) 

“And They say, Chivalry is dead. So let a real man pick up the slack, and treat you with respect,” -Chivalry Is Dead (Trevor Wesely) 

“And I Know there’s no making this right, and I know there’s no changing your mind. But we both have each other tonight. So if love is nothing more than just a waste of your time, waste it on me,” -Waste On Me (BTS) 

“I hope he treats you better than I ever could. Cause you deserve the world times two and the perfect afternoons. For you to find who fills your heart even if I’m not the one you choose,” -Chicken Tendies (Clinton kane) ☆

“It’s bittersweet to think about the damage we do, cause I was going down but I was doing it with you. And I say that I hate you with a smile on my face,” -Favourite Crime (Olivia Rodrigo) 

“Find me, in another place in time. If only, if only you were mine. But I’m already someone else’s baby,” -Baby (Clean Bandit) 

“And I might never stop your sorrow, fix you up good as new. But that don’t mean that I can’t hold your hand in mine,” -Someone You Like (Girl And The Dream Catcher) 

“Cause when you said jump I said ‘how high?’ But when I jumped you said ‘goodbye,’ “ -Walked Through Hell (Anson Seabra) 

“I want to love me, the way that you love me. Oh, from all of my pretty, and all of my ugly too, I love it when I see me from your point of view,” POV (Ariana Grande) -> Giyuu x Reader

Have fun :)

#followers event #fanficition #my hero fanfic #aot fanfiction #haikyuu fanfiction #attack on titan #aot #hq fluff #haikyuu #jjk fanfic #jjk #demon slayer fanfic #demon slayer #gojo x reader #gojo x y/n #levi x reader #levi x y/n #akaashi x reader #kageyama x reader #atsumu x reader #jean x reader #reiner x reader #nanami x reader #nanami angst #deku x reader #todorki x reader #bakugou x reader #giyuu x you #giyuu x reader #rengoku x you

[bakugou-jpg]

Stay, please || K. Takami /Hawks

A/N: This was requested by an anon, for Hawks angst to fluff. I’m not entirely sure if this ks what you wanted but i hope you like it anyway!

Genre: Angst to fluff

Warning: BNHA MANGA SPOILERS, angst.

Words: 7789 words

_____________________________________

The job of a pro hero, was something that came with a lot of responsibility. As a pro hero, you had the responsibility of someone else's life in your hands . The responsibility to keep them safe. It was a never ending battle between bad and good with when one villain had finally been defeated and captured a new one was lurking in the corners of the streets.

The training young teens who just decided what to with their lives, which was wanting to make the world a better place and saving people by becoming a hero, was rather cruel in some cases. There was no denying in the fact that learning is best done by practice, but putting 16 year olds into battles between adults they shouldn't have to fight could be..considered inhuman in some cases.

Especially when the 'teen' is a 6 year old boy who had no choice but to give his life to the country to be used as a tool to solve the life long battle between good and evil. He was seen as a 'secret weapon'. One that would make the world a better place. A future set out for him in every possible detail until his very retirement.

It was tiring, so very tiring. A constant cycle of waking up, going to work, overworking, getting home, go to bed. Barely any time for free time. The lack of it made him feel like he was stuck in a simulation, a system that he couldn't run away from.

He felt like he was being suffocated, a tight rope wrapped around his throat with the people he worked for his entire life at the end of it only pulling it tighter and tighter putting more and more responsibility on his shoulders. He was gonna collapse, his vision growing hazy and his knees trembling close to giving up.

"Keigo.."

The rope around his neck loosened. Hawks was so focused on walking forward towards the pointless direction he was forced to walk towards that.. he hadn't noticed when a soft pair of hands had started fumbling with the rough material. He hadn't noticed when breathing got easier again and he certainly didn't notice when his legs dragged him somewhere else.

Falling in love with you was the easiest thing he had ever done. The moment his eyes met yours he was absolutely swooned by the way they held such a calming warmth in them that he felt his wings puff up. You were incredibly beautiful to him and the red tips of his ears certainly didn't go unnoticed for he felt a cold feeling wash over him when the number one hero sent a glare at him reminding him he was on patrol.

He felt himself so drawn to your presence, always finding ways to sneakily run into you or find a reason to talk to you.

When the cold months creeped around the corner, meaning the sun set earlier in the evening, he did not hesitate for a second to insist he'd bring you home safely. He wouldn't hesitate to playfully tease you about the tiniest things, loving the either flustered or giggling reaction coming from you.

"Hawks..?"

His eyes were glued to the screen of his computer, scanning over all the tiny words that for some reason didn't seem to get through his skull no matter what he did.

He felt like his eyelids were being pulled down by tiny fairies who were trying to lul him into a deep sleep so they'd be able to kill him in his sleep or kidnap him afterwards..atleast, that's the story his grandmother had told him when she was still around when he was younger.

God, how long that had been and how fuzzy the memories were of her. Hawks never saw her often, for the relationship with her and his dad was horrible, but when he did he'd feel nothing but a warm fuzzy feeling he hadn't felt in years. A comfortable feeling he wanted to bask in forever with no worry in the world.

He tore his eyes away from the screen, immediately settling on your form after you had entered his office.

The crimson wings fluffed up just slightly upon seeing the sight of you, a reaction Hawks had no control over. Slowly, he spread them and even in the dim light of his laptop screen you could still clearly see the beautiful red colour they held. Every little detail of each feather, how they slightly shook when he stretched his entire body before folding back into their previous position behind his back.

"Ah, it seems i have died huh? Knew all this paperwork was gonna make my brain melt one day..Though, i thought angels had like eight arms were shaped like a pyramid and had like fifty eyes in total."

A playful smirk danced around his features, but it wasn't hard to take notice of the tiredness his eyes held. How to bags under his eyes would get darker by the day and how his voice sounded heavy laced with drowsiness.

No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't help but snort at his words. Your eyes were still glued onto his wings, mesmerized by the way they looked and never failing to impress you.

"What are you doing here so late, dove? Thought your shift ended two hours ago, did you miss me that much?"

Hawks noticed how your eyebrows scrunched together this time there was no little smile or snort at his comment. Did he cross a line he shouldn't of have crossed? No, you didn't seem mad..you looked worried.

Placing one foot in front of the other hesitantly, you made your way towards Hawks desk eyes scanning over all the littered papers and the opened document on his laptop.

"Could ask you the same question, Mr.hero..I had forgotten my keys so was unable to enter my house. Thought your shift ended three hours ago?"

The tone in your voice was more stern this time and the hero didn't miss the somewhat motherly undertones to it. Even the way the way your hand found its way into his hair, plucking something out of it but even the slightest touch made him coo softly.

Quickly snapping out of his smitten state, Hawks quickly recollected himself and grinned. No matter how hard he tried, he still looked burned out and absolutely exhausted. The small pile of energy drinks in his trash can and the empty coffee cup on his desk only making it more obvious. "Thought it would be fun to just sit here and stare at some words on a screen with no yellow light"

A small moment of silence took over the room. An awkward one at that..had he made an uncomfortable comment once again?

It was hard to let his eyes settle to the dark after having had them glued onto the screen for so many hours. He could very easily make out your silhouette and where your eyes were, but it was a little hard pinpointing the details in your face.

Being so focused on taking in your facial features, he hadn't noticed how your hand had slowly creeped up on him to settle onto his wings. Nobody ever really touched his wings, well technically they did of course just..not like this. Not with such tenderness while running their nails over his skin, like getting your hair played with but so different.

It was hard to keep his composure like that and the very moment your fingers moved he let out a shaky sigh, eyes rolling to the back of his head and his body relaxing under your touch.

"You're so tense, should take better care of yourself Mr.hero.." You whispered, hands trailing from the base of his wings up his shoulders before settling onto his neck and giving it a small squeeze.

Hawks face felt warm. He wasn't sure if you were aware of what you did to him or if this was you trying to tease him in any way. It felt nice, so very nice. To be touched like this, with such gentle movements. He wanted to bask into it forever, for him the only one you'd touch like that and talk to.

Leaning his head back, Hawks peered up into your eyes while resting his head against your stomach. Your hands were now attached to his ears, tracing his ear-shells with your fingers.

"Please.." He whispered so very softly, his voice so desperate.

"Hm?"

"..stay"

Eyes widening slightly, the fingers once wrapped around his head slipped away.

Hawks was a very open book, it had been something you noticed right away when you first met him. He wasn't afraid to show his feelings about something or to state his opinion on certain things. His emotions always very clearly present on his face.

Yet, the emotion he currently expressed was hard to place. You weren't sure if it was fear, sadness or desperation. Maybe a mix of all of them but none of them really was the hawks you used to see on a daily basis. Were his emotions getting the best of him at the late hours of the night?

His rather cold hands took ahold of your own the chill spread out through the rest of your body something which made you shiver slightly.

"God Hawks, you certainly are sappy huh?"

A small grin tugged at the edges of his lips, a low chuckle rumbling in his chest. His eyes followed your form as you sat down on his desk, eyes piercing into your own.

"Got me there, dove..Only for you though, baby bird."

With a small smack to the head, his chest felt much lighter when you started reading through the papers scattered around his desk, a pen in your mouth while writing down things here and there. How you'd rest your legs on the arm of his chair telling him to finish his part so the both of you could go home.

That was the first time Hawks started thinking about a future other than what had been set in stone for him ever since he was a kid. What is a selfish thing to do..? To think about a future that only he provided off in the end and hopefully you too, of course? I..think everyone's allowed to be a little selfish sometimes. That longing for something so precious and wonderful is something everyone deserves to have.

To be selfish and keep you to himself, to hold you in the late hours of the night and to be able to feel your skin against his own.

With his wing wrapped around your body, you walked underneath the dimly lit streets.Every time either of you laughed or talked, a small cloud would leave your mouth and disappear into the cold november air.

It was only such a small memory compared to the ones the two of you had made throughout the friendship you had, one that eventually blossomed into something more. Though, to Hawks it was the night he came to the realization that for the first time in his life he felt like..there was a destination, a goal, to where he was walking to.

Loving you was the easiest thing Hawks could ever do. It was like breathing unconsciously, blinking his eyes and how his heart pumped blood through his body. Something so natural and right, something he needed so desperately.

It was funny how he had gone 21 years through out his life without you but now that he had you for barely 2 years for himself, he felt like he couldn't go without you being there for him and having you by his side. He was addicted to your presence, you were like a drug he couldn't get enough of.

You had showed him that the little things mattered, that it was okay to make mistakes and that it was so easy to love something more than yourself.

Coming home, exhausted and beaten up, to be engulfed in the warmest pair of arms instead of his empty bed was the thing he'd look forward to every day. To be peppered in soft kisses and have fingers go through his hair welcoming him home being told that he had been missed. It was a thing that got him through the day, knowing there was someone out there waiting for him.

Although he felt like it, Hawks...would never truly be free.

Even though. You had loosened every rope tied around his body, took his hand and guided him elsewhere, he would always be reminded that those ropes were still there. No matter what, he was still doomed to serve the people he had given almost his whole entire life to.

At times it was a little hard, having to stay away from what he considered home for a couple of days sometimes even weeks, but the two of you managed. The media barely had any information about his personal life. Both the agency and he himself kept it hidden deeply underneath a pile of dirt a ton of feet under the ground.

They knew about your existence, sure, but you were known as one of Endeavour's right hands. The one who followed him around like a puppy everywhere he went, taking care of most of the media problems for him and the one he went to for advice regarding his hero work.

Deep inside, Hawks knew that he wasn't worthy of all this. That he wasn't made to live a life like he was currently living, but he always pushed away those thoughts. Negativity wasn't gonna get him anywhere, it would affect both him and you.

"We need you to play infiltrate the league of villains as a spy. Make them believe you're on their side, gain their trust and leak some unimportant facts we give you here and there. Mr. Takami we need you to do whatever it takes."

League of villains, spy, whatever it takes..?

His whole head was buzzing the entire time during the meeting, where they told him all the important details and went through all of the steps he'd have to take.

Hawks had seen what the league was capable of, hell, the whole entirety of Japan had seen so. Individually he could take most of them on, probably. He'd have to watch out for the one that went by the name of 'Dabi', his feathers didn't exactly mix well with fire. Shigaraki was also sketchy, but aside from that he had received the news that the league seemed to be plotting something.

Not the craziest thing, since they had been quite off the radar for a few months now. And especially with those creatures they called nomus nobody was sure what would happen.

Going home that day felt wrong. Knowing what was to come, a bitter feeling creeping into his mouth while his feet felt like cement blocks heavier with every step he took closer to the door.

"Keigo, welcome home!"

The moment your face appeared from around the corner his heart only felt heavier. The fact you were so very unaware of what was about to happen and did your usual routine of wrapping your arms around him, gently taking off his vizors and headphones before cupping his face and pressing a kiss to his lips.

He couldn't do it

"Tough day at work? You look like you went 3 days without sleep Kei..and for someone who kept me up with his snoring last night that sure is quite something."

Your comment usually would've made him snicker or atleast just crack a grin. You were always able to make him feel be better and make him laugh on his worst days. Always knowing what to say and do, knowing him like the back of your hand.

He felt so numb. All his emotions were flat, he had to do this. He had to, he'd do anything to keep you safe and if that meant letting you go... then so be it.

"(Y/n), we need to talk."

His hands wrapped around your shoulders and softly pushed you off of him before reaching out to your own, giving them a soft squeeze with his thumb drawing a circle over your ring finger.

Hawks always knew he was gonna wrap the prettiest and biggest ring around there. He didn't care if you didn't want something to extravagant or so flashy and scold him for spending so much money. It ate at him that he was able to show you off but he would, he'd let everyone know you were his and he was yours. Didn't care what the agency or your boss thought. Didn't care about the media. None of that, just you. You and him.

He promised himself he'd always keep you safe, no matter what happened your safety came first. He'd do anything and, if that meant letting you go, then..so be it

"I'm sorry, but i don't love you anymore. Its not fair to you if i keep hiding this from you. I think we should end this."

He wanted to grow old with you. So badly. To spend his last moments in your arms and to adopt a dog with you- Hell even, maybe if god would've let him, have actual kids with you.

Seeing you laugh it off at first made his heart crumble. Especially the moment he saw your face slowly change when you started realizing that it wasn't a joke. How your eyes twisted from pure joy, to confusion, to a mix from both confusion and sorrow. A glassy layer of tears welling up in your eyes, head shaking no and your hands letting go of his.

"W-what? What do you mean- I-i don't understand."

Your voice was breaking, like a thin layer of ice on top of a lake in winter. Ice so incredibly thin that it wasn't able to hold the weight of a little robin hopping around on it.

He wanted to pull you into his arms, hush you while whispering comforting words into your ear. Telling you that he didn't mean it, that he loved you more than anything else in this world. But he couldn't. You had to be safe, you'd be in great danger if he continued the relationship you two shared.

"Since when?" You asked softly, eyes fixated onto his chest. You were unable to look him in the eye, unable to show him how you were slowly falling apart. In all honesty, you didn't want him to answer. You didn't want to know when he stopped loving you, for it had only been half a day when he told you he loved you, held you in his arms and kissed your forehead oh so lovingly before leaving for work.

Hawks scrunched his eyebrows together, eyes never leaving your trembling form. "I..I think it was around last month i started having my dou-"

"Last month, Keigo? You wanna fucking tell me that all those night i spend in your arms, that when i brought you to my fucking parents for dinner and when you told me you loved me, all meant nothing to you?!"

There it was. The little robin landing on top of the surface, creating a hole in its path before taking off leaving the ice broken into pieces. The tears flowed freely from your eyes, sleeves desperately trying to wipe them away but failing to do so.

"What did i do wrong? I don't understand..I-is there someone else..?"

"What- No! Never, i could never..i-"

Hawks gritted his teeth and had to dug his hands into the pockets of his jacket or else he would slip and reach out for you. It took ever cell in his body not to wrap you up in his arms and apologize and pepper your face with kisses.

"I'm sorry, (Y/n). I'll go pack my bags."

Trying to move past you only to be pushed back, hands gripping at the sleeves of his jacket and teary eyes piercings through his own. "Kei, what's going on?"

Your voice was so soft, so comforting. It felt so normal to lean into your touch, to close his eyes when you cupped his cheeks and feel just the slightest bit at ease.

The hero could feel a lump of his own form in his throat, one he desperately tried to swallow, and started biting down on his bottom lip. "I-i..I'm so sorry baby bird i-i..i can't tell you." He whispered, barely hearable due to the lump blocking the air in his throat.

The arms wrapping around your trembling form, the hand on the back of your head, the voice softly shushing you and the warm lips pressing a soft lingering kiss to your forehead all made it feel like time stopped. Nor did those things prove that he had fallen out of love, to be exact it only proved how much he adored you.

You didn't notice when he walked past you, into the bedroom. Or when he packed a suitcase and all his stuff, feathers flying through the house here and there to collect some of his stuff.

It was only when he stood next to you again, his warm golden eyes filled with sorrow, that you snapped back to your thoughts.

"I'm sorry, dove."

Leaning down, Hawks pressed his very last kiss onto the corner of your mouth. One that lingered just a little longer than the others, one that held just a little bit more emotion. The one that was going to haunt him forever.

With the front door opening, Hawks took one last look at you. A small smile tugged at the edges of his lips and you could clearly see the tears stinging at the corner of his eyes. Eyes full of both love and sorrow, eyes that you had grown to adore more than anything else in the world for the very last time connected with your own.

"Thank you for everything, (Y/n)."

And with that, the door closed.

There were a few seconds of ear deafening silence before Hawks flinched upon hearing the heart breaking sobs coming from the inside of the apartment. Your whole world was wrecked within not even 15 minutes and the worst part of it all is that you didn't understand why.

Spreading his wings out,  Hawks took one last look back at the apartment. At the place he once considered home. One where he had made his most cherished memories at and a place he had considered his safe place for oh so long.

It didn't matter anymore, what he did was to keep you safe. Something he had sworn to do the moment he first laid his eyes on you, a promise he was going to keep for as long as he lived.

In this case it had meant cutting all ties he had with you, to make you seem like a stranger to both himself and the people he worked with. The thought of you getting hurt by the league just for being involved with him, something that made you the perfect blackmail material, was a thought that haunted him. It was for your safety..

Now that he lost you, Hawks had nothing to lose. Not a home, not a future or..someone he loved. He was back to the very start, rope tied around his throat pulling him forward with no clear destination. Everything was numb. His mind, his body, everything.

A hero who had nothing left to lose was a hero who didn't care if he lived or died. Someone who didn't care for a pathetic title or name, it didn't matter.

With the moon peaking through the cloudy sky, light cascading down the hero's crimson feathers. With a few of his feathers supporting the sports bag, the hero took off leaving behind everything he once had.

There was nobody there to spot him, to freak out over seeing the number 2 hero flying over their heads or take pictures of him. Nighttime was the most peaceful time of the day to fly around for there were no worries just him soaring through the sky.

Hawks had no place to go in all honesty he hadn't thought this plan through entirely. He wasn't even sure if what he did was the best decision to make..maybe there was-..No. This was no time to have second thoughts on it, the damage had already been done.

With wings wrapping around his body, the hero dipped down towards the ground. The feeling of falling was always somewhat comforting. How gravity would pull him down, eyes closed for just a mere moment, while basking in the weightless feeling right before spreading his wings and gently landing on the ground, boots hitting the concrete.

"Took you long enough Mr. hero"

A tall dark figure emerged from within the shadows of the alleyway. There was no denying in the fact that the moment the hero caught sight of them, a chill creeped up his spine.

"Ah, give me a break had some trouble on the way here.." Hawks said with a grin, waving it off. A big sigh left his nose and he cracked his fingers.

"Well then, let's get to business, ha?..."

Hawks eyes narrowed the moment the man standing in front of him stepped into the light. Up close, the scars that littered his body looked even more disgusting. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't curious about how he had gotten them.

"..dabi"

This job had to be the most complicated one Hawks had done before. He was a good liar, that certainly hadn't been the problem, but it was the fact he had to gain the league's trust. To convince them he was truly on their side, after all he was the #2 hero of Japan.

Dabi was, supposedly, the messenger and judge. He informed Hawks of all the things Shigaraki told him and demanded Hawks to do to prove himself. At the same time he'd judge Hawks, to see if he really was serious about all this and not a traitor.

The hero was walking on thin ice with every teeny tiny slip up that he could make resulting in the mission taking the worst possible turn. He had to be incredibly careful with what he said and did, continuously being watched by one particular villain that couldn't help but suspect him even after Shigaraki had given him an Ok.

Hawks was a good person that was too unfortunate to be forced into the situations he was put into. He was too unfortunate for getting attached to one of the villains, realizing that maybe after all some of them weren't that bad. Too unfortunate to have the years of training and manipulation take over his senses when he started to panic.

Hawks was a good person. He didn't mean to kill him. He never wanted to kill a somewhat good person.

He didn't mean to kill twice.

His mind was screaming. He had to keep his cool, had to keep himself together because he didn't have time to think for Dabi was already right on his ass with an intend to end his miserable ass.

Hawks hadn't thought about dying before. Well.. not like this. These last couple of weeks he thought he wouldn't care if he were to die. Its not like it really mattered anymore, after all there was nothing left for him. He was alone, back to living as a living puppet working for a corrupt hero agency.

It didn't matter anymore. None of it did.

He regretted leaving you behind that night. He should've turned around when he heard u cry, should've went back inside to cradle you in his arms. He wanted you back so badly. He didn't care if it was selfish, he wanted to leave everything behind and grow old with you, to hold you in his arms one last time.

Oh how he'd do anything to be able to touch you one last time..to apologize and tell you he loved you.

His wings were gone. The wings he knew you always admired from afar and run your fingers through, ripped out of his body leaving nothing but broken bloody bones sticking out of his back. He'd never be able to fly again, never be able to feel the freedom of being in the sky.

A boot was crushing his neck slowly making him suffocate, the villain looking down on him with an almost psychopathic smile on his way.

"Haha! Poor little Keigo Takami, seems like you've wasted your pathetic little life ,huh? And that calls himself the #2 hero?! Would've expected better from the hero association!"

Hawks felt numb. Without his wings he wasn't even worthy for the hero association, he'd be nothing. All of the sacrifices he made, all if the training didn't matter anymore. He was nothing.

As his sight got fuzzy, Hawks felt himself growing tired. Eyelids growing heavy, breathing slow and his whole entire body was exhausted. Something in him was screaming at him to stay awake but he pushed it away, simply too tired to care for it.

As he started giving in to the slumber, he couldn't help but let his mind wander to the image of you. From the day when he first met you to when the two if you worked together that one night. The day when he first fell your lips on his own and held you in his arms. He never particularly liked his name nor did he hate it, but whenever you called out for him it sounded like a sweet melody he couldn't get enough of.

"Keigo, you should rest"

...maybe he should.

Right before falling unconscious he could feel a faint force ramming into him but it didn't matter anymore, none of it did.

Finally..he could rest

..

Hospitals always had the most unpleasant smells. It was the mixture of chemicals and people who had been in bed all day that now smelled like sweat. Of course there was also the uncomfortable atmosphere. Most people were there to get tested for something or because they were sick. How such a thing would end were, in some cases, very unclear. Even the interior of hospitals were unsettling, bright white walls that blinded you whenever someone woke up from surgery and the rest of the cold colors they used for the furniture weren't exactly pleasing to the eye either.

He wasn't sure what happened, how he got there and how the battle ended. But when he opened his eyes, Hawks found himself laying on his side. It was very clear from the moment be got used to the darkness around him and the fact his whole body was aching with bandages wrapped all around him that he was in a hospital bed, his eyes following the IV tube to the bag hanging from the stand.

It didn't take a detective for him to notice that his wings were gone, completely. He wasn't sure if there was maybe some sort of bone structure left behind but the chances were incredibly small. It was weird, suddenly missing a big part of his body that he carried with him for 23 years. Like it had never been there.

It was nighttime and the curtains were still open. Perhaps the nurse had forgotten to close them. Its not something that he minded, after all he found comfort in being able to look outside at the very empty parking lot and street. There wasn't a soul out there and judging by how high the moon stood in the sky it was very late at night maybe around 3-4 am.

While pushing himself up to sit, Hawks was met by a horrible throbbing feeling on the inside of his skull. "Ahh, fuck" He hissed while taking his head in his hands, applying a bit of pressure to try and lessen the pain somehow.

His throat was dry, was there a sink? Lifting his head up, the hero took a quick look around the room his eyes still adjusting to the darkness. In all honesty it felt like a weird fever dream, waking up at night in a hospital that now felt very isolated and somewhat peaceful.

Perhaps he really was dead and this was a test god was putting him under to prove himself. Or he was just stuck alone in this world being forced to live forever as a clipped bird. The after life.

His breath was stuck in his throat, golden brown eyes widening. If he really was dead, he'd currently be in heaven, for there was no other way that the person currently sitting on the chair next to him with their head leaning on the bed as they clung onto the side of the pillow he was laying on was something other than an angel.

No, Hawks didn't believe in heaven or hell and he most definitely was aware of the fact he wasn't dead because the throbbing pain in his back and in his head could not of have been something a dead person should be able to experience.

"(Y/n)..?"

You stirred in your sleep, just slightly. Eyebrows scrunched together lightly as you buried your head into the mattress of the bed, hand gripping the pillow you were clinging onto a little harder. Lips puckered like a fish, light eye bags underneath your eyes and smudged mascara around your eyes. You looked exhausted and Hawks couldn't get enough of the sight before him.

Had you been here the whole time? Judging by all the get well soon cards pricked onto the whiteboard on the wall it had atleast been a good few days. There was a fresh bouquet of red and yellow flowers on the table near the window, a pretty big one at that.

Only then did he notice the crumbled up card laying on top of all the trash in the trash can. He couldn't exactly make out what was inside of the card, but he could very clearly see the logo stamp on top of it which belonged to the hero association he worked for. He immediately smiled at the most possible scenario being that you had seen it and gotten mad at them. After all, you never backed down with expressing your pent up feelings about the people he worked for when you two talked about it.

His mind slowly wandered back to your last encounter with each other, face immediately falling when he heard your cries echo in his head right before he took off that night. Hawks treated you horribly and yet here you were, clinging onto the pillow he once laid on. Maybe you only came so you could yell at him for hurting you, for laughing at him for being pathetic and having lost everything he had.

But you were here. Beside him. He didn't know what god thought he deserved a second chance in life and especially what god allowed him to see you again but god was he thankful.

Slowly laying down back on the bed, wincing slightly when he back made contact with the mattress, Hawks turned on his side so he was facing you. To him, you were the most breathtaking person that walked this earth. From the tip of your nose, to the cheeks he loved to squeeze so much to your parted soft lips.

He loved having you on top of him on the couch, your face squished into his chest as you dozed off into sleep. A moment where he'd turn off the tv and admire you, hand gently massaging your head and a thumb very softly tracing over the details of your face.

His fingers reached out for your face, golden eyes softening when your nose scrunched up a little the moment his thumb traced over it. He really must of have been a saint in his previous life for him to be so lucky to have met you, to have been allowed to love and be loved by you.

You looked so breathtaking like this, so peacful and content as if you hadn't spent days sitting on the same chair ignoring the nurses telling you to go away while worrying your head off. At one point you even pulled out your license, showing you worked for Endeavour and said you had to keep a close call on Hawks to make sure he wouldn't fall 'victim' to another attack.

Hawks shuffled his body a little closer to your head, breath fanning over your face with your face cradled by his hands. Taking one more close look at your face, the man smiled softly before he closed his eyes and leaned in. Lips softly pressed against your forehead, ones that stayed there for a few seconds before he backed up again.

"I'm so sorry, baby bird.."

It was a mere whisper, only loud enough for the both of you to hear. He wasn't even sure if there was someone else in the room, but he couldn't care less. There was a small lump im his throat, one he tried very desperately to swallow but to no success.

It was the moment that your eyes slowly opened, hands reaching out to rub the sleepiness out of them before widening when yours met a pair of golden ones that it disappeared. When your bottom lip trembled and your eyes watered, hand moving to cover your mouth as the tears started falling from your eyes.

Hawks smiled and lifted his hand, just slightly for his arm still hurted. He could absolutely miserable but he wasn't even aware of that. Of how bloodshot his eyes were or how half of his face was wrapped in bandages. Or how the bandages om his back had light crimson stains on them from his wounds still bleeding here and there. It was a horrifying way of seeing the one you cared about.

"Hey.."

Even his voice sounded like utter shit. As if the man had been a chainsmoker for the last 30 years.

"K-keigo.."

You didn't care if it hurt him, the damage wouldn't be that bad anyway. The moment you heard what had happened your heart stopped. The last month felt like your world collapsed. The home you shared was quiet and the bed you shared was empty and cold. Kicking your chair back you lunged forward, arms wrapping around his fragile body very careful not to touch the wounds on his back.

"Y-you..fucking a-asshole.."

Hearing things from him from Endeavour was extremely painful but what was more painful was, after he had already been hospitalized, hearing what he had hidden from you and why. The fact he didn't bother to tell you, way too caught up with the thought of you getting hurt.

"..are you stupid? We're a team aren't we!?For fucksake i work for Endeavour, Keigo i can protect myself. L-leaving me like that.. Y-you selfish bastard!"

Hawks groaned slightly at the way you were currently squeezing his body. He didn't hesitate for a second before be wrapped his arms around you and buried his nose into the crook of your neck. He didn't think he'd ever be able to hold you again, to be able to feel you like this and have you so close.

Even though you smelled like hospital and sleep, Hawks could easily pick out the smell of your perfume out of it. It was faint, incredibly faint, but he missed it so much.

He could feel your hot tears falling onto his shoulder and how your teeth chattered, it made his heart ache. All he could do was wrap your legs around his waist while pulling you even closer. He needed to feel you, to feel your arms around him.

"I'm sorry, dove..I'm so sorry for hurting you." He whispered, hands bawling your shirt into a fist. It felt so good to feel your hand going through his hair while your other arm rubbed his upper back, still careful not to touch the wounds on his back.

You wanted to be mad at him, you really did. For the fact be broke your heart and left you crying, for leaving without saying why, underestimating you, fighting in a war without saying a word and getting hurt like this only to leave you worrying for several days by his side day and night.

But you couldn't be mad at him. I mean, you were, but being in his arms like this was something you had been craving for weeks. To feel his warmth envelop you the moment his arms snaked around your waist and to feel him kissing you shoulder several times before nuzzling his face into it.

Furiously wiping your tears from your eyes, sniffling and letting out choked sob. "Don't you ever leave me like that again, i swear i'll-"

"Could never leave you, you're stuck with me now.." Hawks with a smile, slowly backing up from the hug to take a good look at your face. The moment he saw your teary eyes his gaze softened before he brought his hand to your face to wipe them off your cheeks. "..stuck with me for the rest of your life. After all i'm gonna need someone who's gonna take care of me."

The exaggerated sigh leaving his mouth together with the roll of his eyes made you chuckle. He always found ways to joke around and cheer you up but he still knew the right things to say and do to calm you down. "Shut up you birdbrain, god you're the absolute worst." You said with a laugh while his thumb continuing to wipe the tear, and some remains of mascara, underneath your eyes away.

With his hands cupping your cheeks Hawks couldn't help put press his forehead against your own before closing his eyes.

You were there. With him. There was no more hero association that would make his head explode, no more worries or things he had to do. Just you and him. Maybe, just maybe, Hawks would allow himself to be selfish. Selfish enough so he could work on a future where only you and him provided off, to be able to call himself your husband and to grow old with you. To stay by your side the rest of your life no matter what. Everything he ever wanted lied in that future.

"I love you.."

It didn't matter anymore. The ropes were gone and he didn't care what lied ahead because he was holding onto your hand as you guided him. This time he didn't care where he ended up, as long as he had the hand he was holding onto in his he'd be fine. Perfectly fine.

As a hand tangled into his hair, Hawks didn't hesitate a second before he connected his lips with yours. Never before had he needed it so bad, to feel your lips against his own and had he missed it so much. His hands moved to settle on your waist and neck, immediately deepening the kiss and sighing in content when your arms wrapped around his neck.

All those sleepless nights, those moments of doubt and when he couldn't help but think about his regrets moments before he collapsed..To have you here in his arms was the only thing he wanted.

As the two of you parted ways, Hawks was quick to peck your lips as a quick cherry on top. The kiss lingered for quite a moment and the both of you were catching your breath.

"I should probably go get the nurse.." You said under your breath still a little caught off guard by the previous event and what had happened in the last ten minutes. Your eyes were still wet and your nose still runny, but the way your cheeks had heated up made up for it in some type of way.

Pushing yourself off of Hawks to fetch someone who was doing the night shift, you were very quick to be stopped by a hand who clung onto your own. When you looked back at the man, you were met by a pair of pleading golden eyes.

"Stay.."

Upon hearing his request your eyes widened for a moment.  It really was pretty late already, so bothering the nurses at this hour was not something you wished to do so especially since it wasn't exactly that important. After all, Hawks would be awake in the morning as well.

"..please"

He guided you onto the bed with him, hand still in your own, and shuffled backwards so that there was room for you next to him. Your body had given in, simply too tired to protest and with the way the mattress, blanket and arms looked so incredibly warm snd comfortable you really just wanted some sleep.

While being careful not to rip out any of the tubes attached to his body, you laid down next to him and immediately cuddled up against his chest. Face buried in his neck, arm immediately snaking around your waist to hold you closer and a soft pair of lips pressing against your forehead. It was like it had been weeks since you had a good night's sleep and didn't take long before sleep had won its battle against you sending you off to dreamland.

"Goodnight, dove.."

Hawks whispered while running his fingers through your hair, pushing it back so he could press another kiss to your forehead.

Even though Hawks had already been asleep several days, he was exhausted. It had been so long since he was able to sleep comfortably like this, his eyelids were screaming at him.

Hawks didn't know what the future was gonna hold for him. Whether he'd somehow be able to get his wings back or if he'd ever be able to work as a hero again. Everything was incredibly uncertain but right now, on this way too small for two people if not cuddled up hospital bed, everything felt like where it should be.

Just you and him. Nobody else or anything else getting in the way.

With a smile on his face Hawks closed his eyes and allowed himself to be taken over by sleep. Clipped bird or not, no matter what happened Hawks was gonna do anything in his might to keep you happy and that was a promise he was gonna hold onto for as long as he could.

#hawks x reader #takami keigo x reader #hawks imagine #hawks x you #hawks x y/n #hawks #keigo takami #takami keigo #boku no hero academia #my hero academia