Having ADHD is just like:
I'm sorry.
I know it's inconvenient.
I'm sorry.
I know it's annoying.
I'm sorry.
I know it's selfish.
I'm sorry...
I know I shouldn't say sorry because an apology without change is manipulation.
I'm sorry.
I know I can't change my behavior; I've tried.
I'm sorry
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i want to say first of all that i fully respect a community's/denomination's/culture's right to have closed practices. i am not entitled to other people's traditions, and when i am a guest in a space i understand that everything is not automatically for me. and i know i do not have to understand to respect.
and also! when i go to a catholic church and can't receive communion i want to fall on the floor weeping. what do you mean i can't have him he's right there. sorry my baptism was the wrong kind of baptism. i'm hungry and you want me to become someone else before being fed.
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"just dont lose yourself, okay?"
"i cant. i've tried to."
"Don't forget to enjoy this, today. Cuz if you lose yourself in trying to hurt the people who took it, you might....just don't forget the good stuff, okay?"
"i cant. i've tried."
godddd cellbits recurring motif of "i cant. ive tried." whenever someone tells him not to lose himself, both the bad and the good is so.. the implication of a perpetual fruitless spiral of turning man to monster and monster to man, and failing at both because loves too deeply and instinct is ingrained into him deeper than the carvings in his knife. he cant fucking stand himself. he can't stand how he can't be normal and has to rely on drinking copius amounts of coffee to stay awake enough to not lose it. he can't stand how even in the depths of his desire for vengeance, he hears the pain in his loved ones' voices and still stops to listen. these two parts of him have to be incongruous, because he knows he was happier when he was one without the other. and yet, time and time again the people who care about him tell him not to lose himself like they view him as whole. and again and again, he tells them that he can't. because he's tried to break himself in half and it doesnt fucking work like that. and he'll continue until he destroys himself because hes fucking Tired of being whole.
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I've seen some people say: “Trent shouldn’t have been gay, he should have just supported Colin anyway.” And it's such a weird (and bad) take.
Had Trent been straight we wouldn’t have gotten the scenes we did. Colin could have opened up and told Trent how he felt, but Trent wouldn’t have understood, he could have been supportive. But he wouldn’t understand where Colin is coming from. But because Trent is also gay he knows what it’s like being in the closet, living with fear and dread. Living with thoughts like “if I tell the people I love about my sexuality, will they hate me?”. You can’t get that from a straight ally, no matter how supportive and well meaning they are. Because they don't know what it's like. We need straight allies, we need all the straight allies we can get. But what Colin needs RIGHT NOW is someone who, while not a professional athlete, is involved in the world of football. Knows about homophobic fans, knows that there are a culture of toxic masculinity and homophobia in the clubs. That is why it’s important that Trent himself is gay.
Colin almost got runover by a cyclist in his desperate attempt to run away from Trent at the gay bar. But the relief when he understands what Trent is saying "I must have a good reason for that, mustn't I?" is so clear. Trent is also queer, Trent is safe, I can let Trent in.
And I think some people might read that line as "I haven't outed you because I'm gay too, but if I had been straight I would have" which isn't what Trent means, Trent is using that phrase to be subtle, to let Colin come to his own conclusion, because Colin is stressed out, he's scared. By letting Colin think for himself it gives Colin an opportunity to calm down (which is also why Trent holds his hands out as if calming a frightened animal, he also makes himself slightly smaller by bending his knees and leaning forward slightly). And he does, he realises what Trent is saying and he calms down. It's also an added layer of security it's not just, "I haven't outed you" it's "I haven't outed you because I am also queer". A straight person saying that they haven't outed you doesn't hold as much weight as a queer person saying it. Because you know that the queer person knows how important it is to be safe and to come out on your own terms wheras a straight person, especially an eager well meaning ally might try and encourage you to come out because "hey, it's gonna be fine", even when that's not the support you need at the moment (there are ofc exceptions, both when it comes to straight people and queer people).
But because Trent is also gay, Colin now has someone in his corner at work, who knows him, knows his secret. Who also carried that secret himself once. We’ll most likely get straight allies in the other players and the leaders at Richmond.
So no, Trent shouldn’t have been straight. Because that is not the support Colin needed at that moment. He needed queer solidarity.
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au where the Jedi Order has a program where Knights take odd jobs around Coruscant to strengthen their connection with the planet and also experience life outside of the Order, and Obi-Wan volunteers to work at a newspaper right before the beginning of the Clone Wars, because he thinks writing about intergalactic politics or reviewing new ship designs would be cool…..but the Coruscanti News immediately puts him on the Advice Column, creating a new section called Dear Ben because they think a Jedi would give interesting advice even though they won’t advertise that he’s a Jedi, and the Jedi Council are incredibly supportive because it’s a way to teach Jedi tenets and beliefs to people struggling with grief or anger, etc so Obi-Wan can’t quit even though he very much wants to
Meanwhile Anakin hears about a new column in his favorite section of the Coruscanti News called Dear Ben, and he’s dealing with so much as a senior padawan!! He’s going to see the love of his life Padmé Amidala again soon!! So he writes to the column for advice on how to woo her while on a job (“I’m seeing a woman I met when I was a kid again soon because she hired my company to help her. I know it’s time to kiss her. How do I make her see me as an adult? I dream of her supple body and her—“ the rest of this letter cannot be published in our newspaper for its vulgar depictions and explicit language)
And Obi-Wan gets this letter and he has to write back and be like “Dear Grown and a Shower Not a Grower, please do not do that. Be professional. Romance can wait until after your work is complete. That dedication will surely impress her.”
and Anakin takes his advice, it works, and he keeps writing in for more advice and every single time obi-wan answers because whoever this guy is has ideas of relationships and MARRIAGE and life that need to be corrected
and they absolutely don’t know who they’re writing to, but they carry out a very public correspondence throughout the war as their job allows, and Obi-Wan-as-Ben is able to talk Anakin through a lot of his hurts (ie Rako Hardeen) and eventually Anakin is like holy shit I think I am in love with Ben from the advice column around the same time Obi-Wan realizes he’s incredibly fond of Hopeless On Coruscant (his nickname for Anakin after the 4th major life crisis he wrote in about)
what ever are they to do about it 🙄🤪 other than….meet up 😏
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on the topic of kevin smoking weed…what do you think his first time was like. do you think he got scared or do you think it completely mellowed him out for once?
HE GOT SCARED 🏃🏽🏃🏽🏃🏽🏃🏽🏃🏽 i think kevins first time smoking weed was in the nest because they were college aged after all and breaking the master’s rules is survival at one point or another. i don’t think riko was involved (imagine that) and that made kevin’s paranoia skyrocket, so when he does smoke he gets really afraid and anxious and it’s a total vibe killer. i can see kevin and jean smoking in the nest and immediately fucking like rabbits about it though
his Second time he does mellow out. the second time is with the monsters and andrew’s close supervision so when kevin does smoke he is well fed and hydrated and lying comfortably which makes the experience much better even if their weed is considerably cheaper. i dont think he does much then!!! nothing besides giggling at the ceiling and lying his head on andrew’s or nicky’s laps. for some reason i can see him trying to teach the monsters japanese nursery rhymes and accidentally making them all have children’s songs stuck in their heads for weeks
the REAL deal is when neil joins them though. neil’s overall anti drug behavior is very quickly put to test by a high as balls kevin day performing every increasingly ridiculous exy trick neil can come up with on court. an eye opener experience for neil
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Voted for Bumble bc of course but also if you think Alex would not pspsps Bumble you are wrong. If they could communicate they would go to therapy together /s
If then could communicate they would go to therapy together
/GEN
Kyle/Green Lantern resurrects her but then he becomes convinced that she's not the same person she was before the incident, OR SOMETHING SOMETHING Black Lanterns aren't ACTUALLY bad they're just misunderstood Grim Reaper types, in either case Alex ends up breaking it off with Kyle because they've become very different people.
And then Bumble's there
And then they go to therapy or Alex adopts Bumble, and then uhhh Bumble's like one of the superpets. Like Krypto the Superdog. Free premise go forth and play with it if ur a DC fan
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I think today’s encounter with Ron could be a hallucination but the only thing that makes me hesitate to agree is Ron’s info on the federation. Info that we as an audience know is probably accurate but that q!Bad would have no actual way of knowing. He can’t hallucinate new information. Also, said information was exactly what he didn’t want to hear. If he was hallucinating a fantasy world where he didn’t accidentally kill/eat Ron, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me for his brain to include made-up federation info that actively upsets him. If it was a scary, negative hallucination maybe - it wasn’t though. Buuuut you never know I suppose. Either way I’ll enjoy it.
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