#he is TIER bastard vibes and i love him

[faustiandevil]

Depression makes a man do stupid things and here is what I did. Peter Lorre tier list, all movies (well the ones that were available online and in a language I could understand), all characters ranked in a highly scientific way. Feel free to defend your blorbos, but know this I’m right, you’re wrong, SHUDDUP!! (This is a reference I hope y’all get, but in any case do feel free to defend your blorbos I wanna hear y’alls takes.)

My reasonings under the cut. Enter, but be warned it truly is my twisted sick mind down there. If you scroll down long enough to see the Shining reference, I love you.

Bildreporter Johnny (F.P.1 antwortet nicht): No, no, no, no, no, no! Highly unfuckable look! Why does he look like an old man and a baby at the same time??? I can’t do this!!

Mr. Kentaro Moto (Mr. Moto Series): Racism. I’m sorry, I can’t. Absolutely hate it. Shit tier. Same goes with the movies. I only really liked Mr. Moto’s Gamble, which I found out was actually a Charlie Chan script asdfghjkl

Stephen Danel (Island of Doomed Men): Slave owner. Killed a monkey. Was kind of okay with his wife tho, until the end, I guess they needed a reason to off him.

Roderick Raskolnikov (Crime and Punishment): I’m putting him down on the list, because I read Crime and Punishment and the movie is way too ‘Murican. Already the names were bastardized and as someone who loves Russian literature I just can’t deal with that shit. He was okay, but ehhh… (The 1970 movie is way better, and Taratorkin is the best Rashkolnikov, fucking fight me.)

Nikolai Zaleshoff (Background to Danger): Again, butchering Russian names. Not even a patronymic. Kind of a caricature as well with all of the vodka drinking. And again he gets shot and for what??

Sergeant Berger (The Cross of Lorraine): I’m stronger. I will resist. The scene where he blows the cigarette smoke into the guy’s face and kicks him does things to me. I will admit. But that man is a nazi and I cannot in good consciousness put him anywhere else, but shit tier.

Captain Chang (They Met in Bombay): Glark Cable tolerable?? In my movie?? More likely than you think. Did not like the racism again. The beard is nice, so he goes slightly higher than shit tier.

Baron Ikito (Invisible Agent): He gets put in a slightly higher tier than shit tier only, because of the last line in the movie that made me very very gay. “I can make an honorable man out of you” like you can’t make him say shit like that I’m already a weak little homosexual!!

Hilary Cummins (The Beast With Five Fingers): This may be a surprise, but listen, hear me out, I have reasons. I cannot deal with an Astrology bitch. Like, yeah I also like to read my horrorscope every now and then, and I’m a Satanist, but I don’t vibe with that shit, he is too obsessed. Not every gay is gonna be into Asstrology. Also I cannot moan the name Hilary while giving this man dick without thinking of the Clinton woman. Also Cummins??? That’s an OnlyEnemies name. PS. The movie was bad when the hand turned out to be fake.

Julius O’Hara (Beat The Devil): Oh, no I’m not vibing with the hair again. I’m not into it. Loved his bullshitting, even if he is not very good at lying.

Conseil (20,000 Leagues Under the Sea): Liked seeing him together with my rich successful uncle Lukács, and had some nice fits in the movie, but it’s only slightly above shit tier. Saw tentacles, but got nothing. Absolutely disappointed.

Ahmed (Five Weeks in a Balloon): Racism again. Love his rainbow colored pants. The fez does nothing for me. Because of the earring he gets put higher than shit tier.

Pawlitschek (Bomben Auf Monte Carlo): He’s cute. He knows how to cook. Its fucking goulash of course, but ugggh fine I’ll eat it. Look I love you I’ll eat it. Fucking tourist food that no self-respecting Hungarian is going to touch. It’s just fucking soup.

Otto Fuesslli (What Women Dream Of): He is adorable. Clearly faking that piano play, but he sings like an angle. Docking points for being a cop tho. I’m sorry, but in this house we ain’t fucking cops.

Maj. Sigfried Gruning (Lancer Spy): Okay, I’m conflicted. Not sold on the hair, or the mustache, but I’m a military man, I love a uniform, he has a sword. (Babygirl you wanna see my sword~?) Uhhh… he also doesn’t do much in the movie.

Louis ‘The Dope’ Monteau (I’ll Give a Million): Adowable. A dumb baby. And that is why he only gets put in mid tier. Too cute for my taste. Still good for him and all the other poor homeless guys for pulling off the scam of the century on the rich bastards. Respect.

Polo (I Was An Adventuress): Same problem with Louis. He has too much boi energy. Every time I see that image where he looks up with them big ol’ eyes all I can think about is that meme the “Bitch use your words I don’t speak bottom”.

The Stranger (The Stranger on The Third Floor): Okay… uhm… this is a though one… There’s not much info on The Stranger, we don’t even know his name, we only know that he is mentally ill and killed a man. We all have our faults. I mean in this day and age who isn’t mentally ill and killed at least one person. So… mid tier. Like his scarf tho.

Paul Hyde (Mr. District Attorney): The way he got shot was bullshit. What the fuck was that about?? I hardly even remember this movie.

Joel Cairo (The Maltese Falcon): Okay… I gotta confess… I fucking hate the Maltese Falcon. There I said it. It just rubs me the wrong way that in book context and Hays code movie context Joel is gay and gets beaten up the most. Like finally a highly canon gay one for me and I get this home of phobia. Fuck this. Also I do not like Bogart and I think this movie started it lol.

Pepi (All Through the Night): I’mma get shit for this. But… but… hear me out… sometimes a man thinks with his dick and not with his brain. This is one of them. When he shows up at the bar, dressed up all nice, smoking his little cigarette… I’m weak. And yes I know he is a nazi, but I could fix him. I could fuck the fascism out of him. If not… well… //cocks gun// Mid tier, because I can’t put him higher than that. If not for the fascism he would be A tier.

Jan Bernazsky (The Conspirators): I remember nothing from this movie. I think he was a red herring. He goes in mid.

Slimane (Casbah): Casablanca the musical. Getting very gay vibes from Slimane. Why are you a detective? To catch other men. To hold them close after you shoot them. Wow faggy. Anyway, a bit conflicted and had to dock points, because again cop.

Toady (Rope of Sand): I only watched this movie, because Claude Rains is the same height as me and I was hoping to see them stand next to each other, so I can visualize the height difference. Got a very nice homosexual cig lit scene from it. I have no recollection of the movie besides that scene, but he looks fine.

Japanese Steward on the S.S. Carnatic (Around the World in Eighty Days): I can’t fuck a man on a boat I’ll get sea sick.

Kurt Bergner (The Buster Keaton Story): Were you channeling some other asshole director from your life? You looked like you knew what you were doing? Anyway, would fuck just so I could get my start in the movie industry, but this relationship ain’t gonna last longer than a headline.

Brankov (Silk Stockings): Glorious Technicolor~ I have issues with this movie. It’s the inferior Ninotchka. The Russian names are once again butchered. The dancing is nice. Go white boy, fuck up the dance floor!! Nothing else to say about it really.

Abdul (The Sad Sack): Mon petite~! If I justified Pepi being in mid-tier, I can do the same for Abdul. He was eager to kill Jerry Lewis’ character and I think the movie would have benefited from it. Still he can’t go higher, because of the… ehh… Hollywood racism. He would be top fucking tier otherwise.

Skeeter (The Big Circus): Not into clowns. (A contradictory statement. If you know you know.)

Montresor (Tales of Terror): I’m in a predicament, because I’m a cat lover and this man was mean to a cat. He is very hot tho. Sorry, babes, but you gotta go into the mid rankings. Also fix your alcohol problem, I cannot let Freud win.

Hans Beckert (M): Okay, this is going to be controversial putting the child murderer so high up on the list, but consider this. He is so pathetic when he gets thrown down the stairs that I just can’t not fuck him. I’m also willing to look past that besides murder he also probably did other things too (yeah that’s a bit harder to get past eugh…). The murder I’m fine with tho. I’m very often locked in a train car with screaming children and I mean that would make anyone start whistling the tune of Edvard Grieg’s In the Hall of the Mountain King. My dick could fix him, but if he wants to murder a child every now and then. I’m all for it.

Redakteur Stix (Die Koffer des Herrn O.F.): This man fucks. And I do mean HE fucks. Polo and Louis wish they were like Stix. He goes into A tier for terrorizing a whole town, getting laid, and getting the girl. Would you like to get the boy as well, hun~?

The General (Secret Agent): This look is absolute horrid… I fucking love it. For someone who is known to be a mustache lover I don’t ever want to see Peter with one. (I’m the one who wears the mustaches in this relationship.) This is an exception tho. It’s a gay disaster look. It’s so bad it’s hot. Extra points for the earring. (The ending to that movie was absolute bullshit tho. General your gun!!)

Prof. Sturm (Nancy Steele Is Missing!): I love it when he is a manipulative little bastard. Also he could have gotten away with it if it weren’t for someone having morals and loving his stolen adoptive child. Absolutely disgusting. The mustache and the glasses combo are acceptable (even if he looks like one of my high school teachers).

M’sieu Pig (Strange Cargo): The other incel. I’m docking points, because for most of the movie I had to watch Clark Gable be a misogynist and I already hate him. All this just to eyeball Peter Lorre… Anyway I would make that piggy squeal. A tier, but only because he shows off a bit of chest hair.

Fenninger (You’ll Find Out): Not particularly fond of this look. I like it better when his hair is a bit messy. Is one third of an evil gay polycule, so points to that. And also the long cig holder. Very gay, hun. And who can forget the og teeth. Would still drag my tongue across those chompers I don’t care what anyone says. (Mainly, because I also have similar fucked up looking messy teeth.)

Signor Ugarte (Casablanca): I’m putting him only in A tier, because he killed nazis at the start of the movie and is a desperate little homo, which is a trait I very much relate to. But Bogart… really… honey you could do so much better. Seriously y’all look me in the eye and tell me that Bogart is hot, when he plays these asshole characters. I’ll wait. Besides I’m right here. I’m ready to top you babe.

Marius (Passage To Marseilles): Love a man who is honest and proud of his professional achievements. And is very much good with his hands hello~ Dies (seriously why???) while fighting nazis. A bit of a scraggly look, but I love it. I also had to look up pics for this and turtlenecks make any man look slutty… and sir… your tits!! I need to feel them through the fabric~ Or just in general~

Dr. Einstein (Arsenic and Old Lace): He is a cute pathetic little meow meow. I want to (the following sentence had to be censored due to violating the Hays code). I am putting him only in A tier, because he is too popular, but I feel like that’s a personal bias.

Johannes Koenig (Hotel Berlin): Again a nice scraggly look. I love it~ He does get his shit together by the end and that’s good, but I wish he’d kept the five o’clock.

Contreras (Confidential Agent): I love a man who hates his job. So relatable. He does a big no no with being a sellout to the fascists, but he gets his just desserts and surprising doesn’t die from a gun, but a heart attack (and they pull a Weekend at Bernie’s with his corpse later on). He is really pathetic and I cannot control myself.

Johnny West (Three Strangers): //heavy breathing// I want him!! Finally a romantic role!! Babygirl yes!! I know you could do it!! If only you also took the money!!!!!!!!! For that last one he goes into A tier and not higher.

Gino (The Chase): Show off more of that chest hair, slut!! I would also not let this man drive (not that I can either). Besides babes the backseat has more space~

Nick (Quicksand): Blackmailing is fun when it’s not happening to you~ Also if we get together I could probably play the games for free. That’s a plus.

Paynter (Double Confession): This man was so desperate for approval. And y’all cannot tell me that he and Charlie weren’t a bit more than friends. Oh a man saves you and now you would do murders for him (except he’s a loser and is not okay with murder). Babe ditch him I would let you kill people for me. I’m not a pussy.

Dr. Karl Rothe/Dr. Karl Neumeister (The Lost One): Babygirl you have some deep rooted psychological issues that you should get checked out. Still, here’s my number. Call me, when you feel like choking me out, but not in a killing way. (Or maybe in a killing way, depends on how I feel.)

Colonel John Miguel Orlando Arragas (Congo Crossing): The straights looked at each other once and immediately kissed, so that set the tone for me. Anyway he is a cop, but he does do the right thing at the end, but still a cop. The uniform is nice. Doesn’t like his job much, so that’s kind of sexy. Eh, you know, what A tier. He is the exception. (I do hope he doesn’t expect me to say his entire name while I’m d(HAYS CODE) him down and making him swallow my (HAYS CODE).)

Nero (The Story of Mankind): Listen, I have some kinks… if you read my writings you know… I’m also drawn to a man with power, and money, and insanity. (I’m also really glad he didn’t have the chin beard like the real Nero, because that’s a deal breaker.)

Smiley (Scent of Mystery): Absolutely disappointed that this movie didn’t have a Dora the Explorer segment where the characters turn to the screen and ask the viewer if they can guess the mystery scent. Anyway hot. I love a man who knows how to be crafty regarding his job. Cheating, stealing, lying, all traits that make a honest Hungarian. Even stole someone’s wife just for the heck of it. Oh, honey~ Only A tier, because I can’t see this relationship going further than some fun in the backseat, but that’s probably enough.

Comm. Lucius Emery (Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea): He has a pet shark and wears a uniform. I’m already undoing my belt. This movie was… mmm… not good tho.

Dr. Adolphus Bedlo (The Raven): He is an abusive drunk parent. But he is so wet and pathetic. Frued won, I really am just gonna get together with someone who is like my dad (the real one not Béla).

Mr. Strangdour (Muscle Beach Party): He is the strongest man alive and yet I, his silly little kitten get to top him. My only problem with him is that I cannot for the life of me remember his name for some reason so I guess he just gotta deal with being called Sourdough and Stroganoff for the rest of his life. My concern is that his stupid kid is gonna walk in one day and go “Oh, you guys are wrestling, who’s winning? 8D” and I don’t want to deal with that.

Abbott (The Man Who Knew Too Much): He is evil, he is cunning, he has a neat little hair stripe just like me! Would also kill a child, which I personally don’t think is a terrible trait (as we saw earlier). Absolute snack! Baby I’ll be your dragon, I’ll be your right hand arm-man, your silly little homo eye candy!

Dr. Gogol (Mad Love): My favorite incel!! I wanna crack his bald head open with my canines like a hardboiled egg, call him a pathetic loser, and pin him against a wall and tongue him down! But seriously the man is the equivalent of a Reddit user, he has money tho, and if I could be his kept man, I wouldn’t mind.

Colonel Gimpy/Baron Rudolph Maximillian Tagger (Crack-Up): That scene where the plane is crashed into the ocean and his hair is wet and he looks up straight into the camera… //fans self// H-hewwo… daddy… sorry… daddy… sorry… Yeah, top tier. No question.

János ‘Johnny’ Szabó (The Face Behind The Mask): I refuse to use anything, but the correct Hungarian spelling, fuck you Hollywood. Kinda meh about him before the accident, way too happy and optimistic for my liking. I like a man who is bitter and ready to kill. Also something about masks just gives people a certain allure. Gets extra points for being the only Hungarian character Peter ever played and judging from the letter he writes back home, Johnny actually knows the language haha. I wouldn’t have to translate him my stupid memes, we could just switch back and forth. Domestic bliss.

Dr. Arthur Lorencz (The Boogie Man Will Get You): Top fucking tier! The most guy ever! He is a politician, he sells snake oil, he is a doctor, and also the town sheriff, cat lover, gay! Is there something this man can’t do! Love him!

Fritz Bercovy (The Constant Nymph): I know that in the book the character is supposed to be a very antisemitic caricature, but I think it was rewritten in the movie. Also I tried multiple times to check how old Toni is, but I only kept finding it for Tessa, so I’mma just gonna give him the benefit of the doubt and say that Fritz is not a groomer, unlike Lewis. With all that out of the way, I have a confessions to make. This character sent me over the edge and I did a Peter Lorre expy in my novel. I am weak. I saw him in the fur with the cane (and the whole club was looking at her) and… he really be doing boyfriend cosplay with one of my main characters. Also he has money and is willing to spend it on his SO, so… //twirls hair// I’d love to be a kept man~

Cornelius Leyden (The Mask of Dimitrios): This man was put on this wretched Earth to wear bowties and by Lucifer he makes them look good. Also he has little gray hairs on the side. And glasses!!! //heavy breathing// I need to make him scream my name all through the night!

Peter Lorre (Hollywood Canteen): That’s just my mans! That’s just my guy! That’s just my husband! My sweet cheese! My rotten soldier! My good time BOI! How could I not put him at the top? (Disclaimer: The only one topping that man is me ayyyy)

Marko (Black Angel): This man really cannot sit normally, huh. Anyway, he was hot, fruity, and a loving father. And the movie wasn’t bad either. I was actually rooting for the straights in this one.

Victor Emmric (The Verdict): Oh, he is husband material. He is a morbid little bastard, and is also romantic. A bit on the drunk side, but I don’t care. He’s hot. Would love to do art trades with him.

Kismet (My Favourite Brunette): This man is MY favourite brunette. My nasty boyfriend who holds me at knife point and spits in my mouth and calls me his bitch~ (Is that a knife in your pocket or are you just happy to see me~) I would also help this man get his citizenship.

Peter Lorre (Meet Me in Las Vegas): People who say that they are only into him when he is young and slim are weak as fuck. Oh, so just because this man is old and fat and his biological clock is not ticking anymore you don’t wanna try and get him preganant anymore??? Move over!! I’ll give this man evil milk (read: cum).

Commissioner Lamoret (Hell Ship Mutiny): I love a man who absolutely hates his job and just wants an easy life and is also willing to murder a child for it. We have so much in common~ And with my help, we would have gotten away with it. We’d be spending retirement in Bora Bora, baybeh.

Felix Gillie (The Comedy of Terrors): You see that man? That man, is my husband. We are married. He supports me and I support him. I would lie in the coffin that he made for me. I know that most peeps fall for him in Arsenic, well I’m different. I have the Father Issues and I want stability and I feel like Felix would give that to me.

Morgan Heywood (The Patsy): He was suffering, I was suffering, there was a collective suffering with this movie. Our meet-cute is me absolutely going feral and killing Jerry Lewis right in front of him. Our eyes lock as I’m covered in blood and the cops take me away. He falls in love with me right then and there. Conjugal visits right until the end of my life sentence.

Okay, y'all can go now~

#Peter Lorre #Tier List #You cannot make me tag all the movies and characters #Faustian Fables #Faustian Imagery

[twopoppies]

Hi Ginaaaaaa!

So I’m a lucky bastard and just attended both Turin and Bologna. I’ll try to be brief but I have THOUGHTS. First of all, I guess I have to thank climate change for giving us tank top Louis two nights in a row, and so much ARM content. That man is so fine Gina, so so fine. He’s so dainty and yet strong and I wish he would talk more in his shows because whenever he did it was like the lights were suddenly brighter or something, it’s really quite a sight to see.

The thing that I wanted to point out is that he felt like two completely different performers each night. During the Turin show, at least until Megamix, the vibes were definitely off. He came out subdued, sad, like something had happened or he wasn’t feeling very well. His vocals, it pains me to say, were also far from perfect. It picked up a bit in the last part and we got some smiles but I have to say I walked out feeling a bit concerned about his state of mind, and I wonder if anyone else that was there had the same feeling. I know it sounds crazy but I’ve known my 5 idiot sons for 13 years and something was off. The crowd was also not the loudest, and I guess the two things influence each other.

Tonight, however, it was a different story. It was honestly one of the best shows I’ve been to. The set list was top tier, the crowd was LOUD and Louis was just on fire from the second he walked in. And what I found so incredible about this show is that it truly felt like a back and forth of energy and love between Louis and the crowd. I felt silly, but I teared up at some point because the crowd was so powerful and loud and he was just so so happy about it, that all I wanted was to scream louder, anything to keep making him happy, even though he is someone I’ve never met and probably never will. It was truly a beautiful thing.

And this made me think about the difference with Harry’s shows. I’ve been to a few, and with perhaps the exception of the very last one, I haven’t felt this kind of powerful love towards him, or at least in a different way. It’s almost like towards H there’s a desire to OWN, whereas towards Lou it feels like a desire to PLEASE.

Not sure if this makes sense but I’m tired and I just saw Louis two days in a row and did I mention that man is fineeeeeeeeeeeee

Hi, honey. That sucks that the Turin show wasn't what you'd hoped for. But I'm so glad you got to see a second show, so you came away with great memories.

I've never had that impression at the Harry shows I've been to––it's always felt like a massive outpouring of happiness and love, except for the first one where I was in pit surrounded by hets. So, maybe it just depends on the people around you.

#fan report

[wa-weirwood]

Lannisters objective ranking tier list

1. Daven Lannister

He’s the goat. Great bro energy and is just an unproblematic chiller, I would run Fortnite duos with him any day

2. Kevan Lannister

Is he complicit in some war crimes? Maybe. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Kevan is a pretty good dude who does his duty to his house and cares about his useless son and even Tommen despite knowing he is an incest bastard. He even took Pod in and made him Tyrion’s squire, didn’t have to do all that for some random low nobility kid. Doesn’t take shit but gets shit done.

3. Gerion Lannister

He’s not even in the books but idc. Bro had balls of steel to go to Valyria, seems like a very cool guy overall and I think he was Tyrion’s favorite so he must have been a pretty fun dude too.

4. Genna Lannister

Dunks on her dumbass Frey husband all the time and let’s Tywin know the facts, ultimate aunt vibes.

5. Jaime Lannister

Jaime is the funniest character in the series, he gets the best dialogue and is a consistently fun character to read. Yeah he did some bad things maybe but I think i can understand why he gives zero fucks about anything, he was just built different

6. Lancel Lannister

He didn’t really do anything wrong but he’s so annoying and I kind of despise the religious zealot archetype

7. Tyrek Lannister

Not much to say about him he doesn’t do much at all but I gues s he is a horse or some thing

8. Cersei Lannister

Yeah she’s kind of insane but her stupidity is really funny and if I was her I would also hate everyone, she did get dealt a shit hand by life

9. Tywin Lannister

He is such a dick all the time but he is intelligent and there’s a reason he is respected, good administrator and politician but not a great parent. That said he carried house Lannister for like 60 years and had a sick armor set

10. Tyrion Lannister

I love to hate Tyrion but in the end I also have no sympathy for him because he is a fucking piece of shit all the time. The Imp is a well earned name. If he was a generally more amiable fellow and less of a bitch to everyone around him his life would be way less difficult than he makes it.

#asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #game of thrones #house lannister

[trickstercaptain]

Can you elaborate on the "Disney Princess" Jack? Cuz I honestly feel he is one but I can't articulate in words how or why he is one, but I firmly believe the title fits him xD

       ahhhhh anon i ABSOLUTELY WILL elaborate on my Jack is a disney princess agenda, i adore you so much for asking as it gives me the perfect excuse to wax lyrical about this whole topic for a bit. because admittedly disney princess Jack is a sort of crack type thing, if we're being technical he's nothing like a disney princess — however i feel like there is a genuine argument to be made that he is disney princess coded, at least within his own narrative. you are right, he gives off those vibes. ( and we're not the only ones who think this — tumblr will not let me hyperlink the video but https://www.tiktok.com/@some.emmagination.huh/video/6961180862117367045 — the fact that Jack is so often seen with or around the princesses in the disney parks says a lot i think lmao ).

       it's possibly because he's assuredly not your classic white knight disney prince, he's not "bad" enough in own his narrative to be villain-coded, and his effeminate characteristics ( the famous story about disney execs thinking that JD was playing Jack as gay in the first film and absolutely freaking out about it ) play into that whole idea. I also think it's always fun to take a character like Jack, who belongs in a hyper masculine environment but consistently challenges those stereotypes, and consider him occasionally in terms of the feminine. Jack being a trickster archetype also helps with this; gender expression is inherently very fluid to him. plus potc plays with this too — Elizabeth is made the Pirate King, after all.

       but he does also fit some classic disney princess tropes! defining a disney princess is kinda tricky now because over the past twenty years or so that definition has (quite rightly) diversified from the more traditional princesses of older disney movies, but i wanna highlight some of the fun ways in which Jack fits into that vague category.

       he talks to animals! maybe not uhhhh... in the nice way that princesses generally do lmao, but he has his god-tier rivalry with Jack the monkey, openly admits that he'll have Cotton's parrot on board the Black Pearl in AWE because "at least I'll have someone to talk to," and in TPOF starts telling his new horse Caesar sea stories because he gets bored waiting for Ayisha. as a child, I am sure he also had very animated conversations with Tim the dog, too. he also sings, canonically. Elizabeth teaches him the song from the ride in CotBP and Jack continues to sing or hum that on two more occasions in the trilogy. he descends from almost literal pirate royalty, effectively already making him a princess. Jack might be the black sheep of the family but he comes from a familial line of very rich, very influential pirates within the Brethren Court. and calling him a prince just feels wrong, so princess it is. also if he gets together with Elizabeth post-AWE he "marries" into royalty and becomes the queen of the Brethren Court, true facts.

       another is that he has the most fairytale esque, romantic dynamic in the entire franchise with the Black Pearl. I've said it again and again, but if Jack's ship were a human and Jack still talked about her the way he does, he'd be the most romantic bastard in the fucking movies lmao. in TPOF, it was literally love at first sight, Jack stared at her on the dock when he first saw her ( and she didn't look her best, she was a ship that had been neglected for a while and Jack spent weeks sprucing her up and getting her shipshape ) and completely fell head over heels. he gets an entire paragraph in that novel about what it is to finally know what love is after hearing sailors talk about it for so long. he dies for her, gives up his immortal soul for her.... Jack is motivated by love in the trilogy ( no matter how difficult, or twisted, or toxic that love becomes ), I won't accept any arguments.

       Jack is surrounded by loveable sidekick type characters. potc is a great franchise for this anyway just in general, but Jack's crew fit a lot of those archetypes that you find in many disney princess movies. from the mice in Cinderella, to Scuttle/Sebastian/Flounder in the Little Mermaid, to the furniture/servants in Beauty and the Beast, there's a lot of overlap — and while you can also say that Jack, being a side character, also fits that role, as he becomes subject to main character syndrome in the franchise, he gradually becomes more and more at the centre of it instead of being with them on the sidelines. disney princesses, particularly from the older movies, are also frequently in need of rescue, and rescuing Jack from the Locker is the major plot point of the first hour of AWE. he might mockingly call Elizabeth the damsel to Will, but he is in fact the damsel put in distress in that movie.

       then there are the somewhat more angsty ones. disney is renowned for its absent mothers, particularly within its fairytales, and Jack is no different. I may have my well-developed headcanons about Jack's mother but in terms of the strict canon, we know nothing about her ( beside the shrunken head ) and that is on purpose, considering that the house of mouse would not let anyone, including the author of TPOF, write about Jack's mother or even hint as to her existence. Jack is also subject to the controlling influence of his single parental figure, Teague, in his early life, which is a classic plight disney princesses find themselves in, whether the dynamic is outright abusive like Jack and Teague's is, or less so. Jack — at least earlier in his life, less so in the trilogy itself — is easily manipulated by the "villains." the plot of TPOF hinges on Jack being manipulated and betrayed by Christophe, and then the plot of CotBP hinges on Jack being betrayed by Barbossa during the mutiny on the Black Pearl ten years prior.

       lastly and, a bit of an odd one maybe, but something I want to include, is that Jack is often coveted by others. it's most obvious in Jack's dynamic with Beckett which, whether you read into it sexually or not on Beckett's side, I personally think it's entirely up for interpretation, is very driven by Beckett's desire to possess Jack. he wants to control him and use him in the same way that he uses all material things, and is pushed to very extreme lengths when Jack resists that control and tries to assert his autonomy. I think Jack being such a free spirit, as well as the fact that he's a pretty boy and is unapologetically sexual ( the second not being a disney princess trait lmao ) he invites that kind of attitude from other people. he invites people to try to challenge that aspect of his character and put him in a box, or control him, or break him.

#anonymous. #&. depths few had ever begun to glimpse ( meta tag. ) #&. don’t ever insult captain jack sparrow in front of me ( ooc. ) #this is unhinged. there is no question about it #but also some of my proudest work on this blog lmaooo #this is what my blog is all about #arguing in nine paragraphs why jack is a disney princess :')

[chelseasasimmer]

I 100% respect your S&B spam. Like, I've never finished season one, simply because I'm a fucking perfectionist who hates change, but SoC is one of my all-time favorite books, and I love it so much. Kaz Brekker is also my most blorbo of blorbos, or one of them. I love him so much, and I will defend him with my life. Also, Inej is the orginial Knife Wife. No one will ever beat her for that spot. (Maybe someday I'll finish season one and watch season two... someday...) Also, Nikolai is going to finally show up, which is wild. He's my other most blorbo of all time, and I totally didn't write a 1k word thing about him and Kaz being mirrors of each other.

Actually, the book I'm reading right now is giving me strong SoC vibes. Like, very strong. Specifically in the "bunch of chaotic idiots (affectionate) pull of incredible cons" sort of way. It's called The Lies of Locke Lamora, and it's about a little tiny gang (5 people) of conmen and thieves called the Gentlemen Bastards (which is the most amazing name, honestly) and all the shenanigans they get up to. It's actually a trilogy, but I'm only on book one right now.

Okay, that is all. Sorry for rambling! <3

GEFjfWIUEGROywge uyoEWG

That's valid that you didn't finish season 1. I actually out of watching it for so long because, again, Six of Crows is my absolute favourite series of all time, so I was worried the show wouldn't do it justice. But so far it definitely has (for SoC at least, I don't actually remember most of what happened in SaB since it's been so long since I read it). I do enjoy the SaB parts of the series, but I have to be honest, sometimes I delude myself into thinking that SoC is the main plot and that SaB is the side plot even though it's definitely the other way around.

And yessss!! I'm excited for Nikolai to show up!!! (That reminds me, I need to get around to reading Rule of Wolves, since I haven't yet oops). AND WYLAN MY FRIEND WYLAN!!!! I'm so excited for him to show up!!! I'm so excited to get the SoC gang all together finally!!!!

And highkey I'd read that essay lmao.

And oooh that book sounds interesting! I'll definitely have to check it out!!! Gentleman Bastards is definitely an S Tier gang name (its kind of giving Gentleman Demon vibes tbh so extra Leigh Bardugo tie in lmao).

Pleaseeee don't apologise for rambling!!! Infodumping is good for you and I really like to hear other people infodump about their interests to me (I like asking my brother and dad about their special interests (even though my dad doesn't know he has them bc he doesn't know he's autistic, but I do), which involves a lot of me pretending to understand prehistoric animals and sports and the like).

I'd totally be down to talk to you more about the Grishaverse if you wanted to!!

#answered #nonsims #grishaverse #thank you for the askkkk morriiii

[thirstworldproblemss]

Hello! I would like to rec the amazing @juletheghoul!! Her fics have really gotten me through it the last year and here are my favs.

Oblivius: This fic lives rent free in my brain. I think about Francis and Spills on a regular basis. It’s just so good. Best friends since high school who are too scared to give into their feelings and then Frankie gets engaged to someone else and it’s top tier. Highly recommend.

Paradisum: This story is what introduced me to Jules. It’s Priest!Marcus Pike and it starts out just straight up smut but then evolves and it’s so satisfying. I love these two and how their relationship grows. I’ve also read this series an embarrassing amount of times, Father Marcus can get it.

Domum: Max Phillips and a witch!reader. This story is just so wonderful and really pulls you in, and my goodness, the smutty one shots are 🔥🔥🔥 Like 1000/10 do recommend.

Silk: Mob Boss Din Djarin, like my god. This man. I LOVE HIM. The way he protects his family?? How intense he is?? It’s so good, and also another story where there’s an evolving relationship that’s just so fucking good.

Honestly, all of Jules fics are incredible. She has a way of pulling you in, and keeping you immersed, and it’s just a good time. She just started a fic called The Huntsman that’s like epic fairytale vibes but reader is a badass witch, and I’m already hooked. 1,000,000/10 recommend checking out her masterlist!

Favorite Fanworks Author & Fic Rec:

Fanfic by @juletheghoul

Oblivius Series [Triple Frontier: Frankie x childhood friend F reader, complete]

Paradisum [The Mentalist AU: Priest!Marcus x F reader, ongoing]

Domum [Bloodsucking Bastards: Max Phillips x witch F reader, ongoing]

Silk [The Mandalorian AU: mob boss Din x sex worker F reader, ongoing]

The Huntsman [Triple Frontier AU: huntsman Frankie x F reader, ongoing]

(Last Day to send in a rec for twp’s “Show Me the Fanworks!” Celebration)

Hello, what’s that!?  Jules has started a fairytale AU Frankie fic!?!?! 👀👀🤩  (I am HERE for it!!)

I love Jules’ writing, though I am tragically behind in several of her universes (which is.... not actually all that tragic, because now I get to catch up!)

Thanks so much for sending these in!!

🧡 twp

[Edited to Add: All recs now compiled on the Fav Fanworks Rec List]

#fav fanworks rec ask #frankie morales #marcus pike #max phillips #din djarin #frankie morales x reader #marcus pike x reader #max phillips x reader #din djarin x reader #juletheghoul #twp's show me the fanworks celebration #wheresarizona

[traumxrei-archive]

quick q since i saw that u were an edenP, is ibara similar to azul twst? They r giving me the same vibes. I wanna know so i can decide if i wanna pull/tier for him

ANON........ anon. i have been asking that exact question to myself too sjdfksj

they do give off the same vibes. megane boys who run businesses + loves to scheme. (if i had a nickel for every time my favorite character in a game was a megane who had a lot of money and likes to scheme i'd have two, maybe two and a half nickels bc one of them isn't a schemer)

but i think there's some key differences between them ? and if you get into them more ig it's mostly their aura that's kinda similar. imma do a short thing just comparing them a bit. (ok it turned out to be long so i put it under a cut)

so azul ashengrotto, we know what azul is like. he does practically anything to turn a profit as long as he has it under control in a contract. he has the leeches, who are his childhood friends but he's also wary of them bc they might usurp his position as dorm leader. (i'm sure they won't but it's funny to watch him be wary) he's cunning and makes detailed contracts in order to trap his prey, and in the end he gets what he wants, mostly. and also he's unathletic sjdkfjs his powers lie more on his immense mastery over his magic rather than his physical abilities.

and as for his personality, he's smart. but he has his insecurities, since he was subjected to bullying all because of his looks since he was a child. he doesn't like showing strong emotions or crying because it reminds him of what it was like to be weak like when he was younger. he would also be nice but claim that there was an ulterior motive, and will not rest until a favor is repaid. that all works into his benevolent persona that he puts on when conducting business.

another important thing is that to him success is running a good business all on his own (mostro lounge) and making it more and more successful over time. and also the fact that he does have a loving mom and step dad (+ the ristorante staff who always dote on him) after all, he's put in all this hard work, anyone can see that he will probably get the goals that he's striving for.

saegusa ibara, on the other hand, has some similarities. his position is the vice president or deputy director of cosmic productions or cospro for short. he was the bastard son of the previous owner of cospro, but his parents abandoned him to an orphanage. shortly after he was turned over to a military camp, so yes mr sir was in the military as a kid, which explains why he's physically fit + keeps talking abt attacking and counter attacking in his room lines jsdfkj (also he was in this camp with yuzuru who is a part of fine but he left and they had a falling out)

since he was the only living descendant he inherited many properties at the ripe age of 12 or 13. the company (and other affiliates) at that time were falling apart, so while he was in middle school he spent a lot of time rebuilding it. he has a deep distrust for people bc of those days where adults would try to use him for their own benefit, and he would always assume that any kindness has a price attached no matter who it was.

ibara is known as overly personable. he's really friendly and knows exactly which words to say to make people let down their guard. he's also known for putting a distance between him and others, even with his own members. he calls them "business partners" instead of friends bc he wants to avoid getting close. ah, he's also good at being passive aggressive, he could make a compliment feel like a threat in seconds. he also believes himself to be lesser than his fellow unit members, particularly nagisa, so he works to "uplift his excellency's magnificent performance" instead of working to stand on the same plane as him.

(it's kinda sad...bc he's actually really kind by nature. he won't go against any of his member's wishes and if people refuse to do something, he'll come up with an alternate plan on how to do it in a way that suits them... but bc of the way he grew up he can't really allow himself to be outwardly kind in fear of getting used)

a lot of people call him the "viper of cospro" bc of his cunning plans or strategies to put eden on the top. he's also eden's manager, on top of being a group member, acting like a shield from the many shady board of directors members that he hasn't weeded out yet. he doesn't like showing others the efforts he puts into himself and his own performance (e.g. solo practices, training in gym). to him, success is world domination. or in this case making eden the best of the best of the idol world AND having cospro under his thumb.

sorry this ended up so long, but i just wanted to showcase the similarities n differences between the two T^T i think if you like ibara's character then definitely go for it !! ibara does have a lot of similarities outwardly with azul but their pasts are very much diverged and their internal motivations also differ so they both make for interesting characters >:DD

#/trau replies #/anonnie #enstars *shakes fist* #you know i'll write an essay #if it's abt my faves <33 #another key difference #if azul doesn't like something he'll voice it right away #ibara will continue to smile and act normal #and he'll get rid of it later on jskfdfk #ibara's super committed to his friendly act #he won't put it down unless he's behind a literal closed door #meanwhile azul would drop it if it's not useful to the situation #azul ashengrotto #ibara saegusa #saegusa ibara

[xx-vergil-xx]

okay so I'm finally reading Hounds and I have to yell at you here, too because

DESIRE

you write them SO GOOD, you write them SO FRIGHTENING, the enormity and deepness and awful ceaselessness of human want! humans want CONSTANTLY! they want sex and they want love and they want violence! this is why I think that Dream and Desire are SO similar because dreams and desires cover the entire breadth of human emotion, the good and the bad! except Dream responded by repressing so hard he turned into a black hole and Desire responded by going fucking insane!!!

(also, on a more serious note -- how far into Hounds did you get when plot hit you? and was it something like that you just kinda realized you were writing it and it was going somewhere, or did you have a concrete idea that came to you? always interested in other writing processes, because i tend to start writing something for the ~aesthetic~ and then I'll have a plot that'll smack me in the head and I have to go back and redo stuff lol)

hello hello!!! first off, as a devoted patron of ur absurdly good work it’s an honor and a delight hello comrade in arms <3 <3 <3

thank u so much!!! writing desire was just so unbelievably fun bc it’s characters like that that are so fuckin maxed out knobs-turned-to-11 insane where for myself, as primarily a poet with a fondness for Strange and Off-Putting Language, i can just go crazy go stupid ya know? i fully agree with your desire and dream similarity thesis i really think that they hate each other because they are so similar that it drives them both up the wall — dream reviles desires indulgence and desire thinks dream has a major stick up his ass but deep down they’re two sides of the same lunatic coin, they’re batshit when it comes to any and all emotions (and dream’s repression continually bites him in the ass because his emotions get so compressed he inevitably spills over and lashes out — my favorite example being nada getting cast into hell like he’s so overcome with embarrassment and almost shame at rejection and also grief at what he’s done to her that it makes him act like a Major Fucking Asshole because he loses control anyway sidebar sidebar). i love desire and if i can work their voice back into the fic at a later point god knows i will because it was a joy to write them (on par with the corinthian who has been my FAVORITE voice so far ugh my blonde bastard beloved <3)

i too started with a Vibe Only — it was about half a chapter in my notes that was hob in a nightclub in berlin seeing someone who looked like dream (i think that became ch 3) and a chunk abt dream where i was trying to conceptualize how imprisonment in a body would work for a very non-corporeal being who can’t die, mostly as an experiment in body horror — hounds emerged from these little scraps and the plot has come along in organic fits and starts. not sure where ur at in ur read (holy shit i never imagined it would be as long as it is now) but little arcs sorta developed for me one after the other — the rescue trope first bc i am a sucker, then corinthian arc, and now this current one, and it’s sort of a ridiculous stroke of luck that they’ve all escalated on each other enough to form a coherent and rising plot that actually is leading up to the moment i’ve been beating my head against the wall abt for the last two days (thanks to @aberfaeth for her infinite wisdom and feedback and also giving me a god tier concept that i’m stealing to use). that’s often my typical process, i tend to go very organic, but i’ve never done it with something this long and i’m shocked it’s still functioning. hopefully this gift from the muses and the spirit of hob gadling continues onward as i desperately attempt to figure out how this is gonna resolve!

thank you a thousand times over for reading! <3

[star-ocean-peahen]

so I went through the tag to see if you had posted more for my new favorite bastard man and read this post and. ANGST ANGST ANGST

YESSSSS

I desperately want Link to be like really actually pissed off that the Fae King has even a piece of the Goddess Blood Essence, especially after how she lost Shei. How dare he desecrate his memory! ...That might be one of the only things keeping her going while this is going on; Shei's memory.

I also think it's really funny that it's the Essence of the Skies that he's got... especially with all these Girahim vibes he's got going on lol.

I really like Link's shattering-sound trauma coming into play- I bet that hurts culling the herd of pottery tho :')

Here's an angsty thought: how does Shei's sudden absence affect Link? I bet since the Fae King's already trying to make her feel vulnerable, that doent help any... I'd love if she tried to find strength through Shei, or even vice verca.... <3

It'd be funny if Link and/or Stella were made to do menial tasks/chores like mending and tending the fae nobilty hand and foot, just for Link and Stella to pretend to but really they're sabotaging like. seams to fall apart or for dough not to set right or rinsing dishes in dirty dish water... petty stuff like that- stuff that Shei would probably (definitely) teach them. What, he was locked up in a dungeon for five years, they had to give him something to do!

I really really like the part when Link stands up to the Fae King I'm. Feral.

very cathartic, that part building up to the Fae King's demise, thats god tier.

I think it'd be kinda funny if Stella went to stir up some dissent amongst the fae subjects while Link was busy being yknow. tortured, maybe instill a new ruler to take the Fae King's place before she and Link peace out ajnsfksd

One more nugget of angst tho... I wonder if the Fae King could idk... glimpse anything from the Goddess Blood Essence of the Skies... Maybe a line about Link's "poor little friend" before BITE KILL MAIM!!!

If the Fae King weren't yknow. Fae folk idk I feel like zelda theories would try really hard to say he was twili maybe... which ofc have ties to the sheikah and gerudo and bad blood (cough goddess blood cough pun cough) with the Royal Family so 👀👀👀👀👀

not sure if those are all of my thoughts I kinda tried to just. dump my brain in here after re-reading the thing bc I. missed it? somehow??? :(

but!! it was a very fun time! I hope you enjoy my thoughts and I look forward to more of this au! :D

Bonus: Fae King looks so fun to draw

AK;JWBEFIFBwiealRFBAIWELHFBWA,JERFHBAE

I WAS SO FREAKING HAPPY WHEN I SAW THIS IN MY INBOX THESE GIVE ME LIKE AN ENTIRE DAY'S WORTH OF HAPPY BRAIN CHEMICAL-

yessssss i absolutely picked the essence of the skies for a reason!! paralleling sksw zelda falling into the hands of ghirahim my beloved

hhhhhhhhhhhh link having pottery-related trauma is Something. she doesn't want to smash the pot because that would be Bad, obviously, so why are every one of her instincts screaming at her to do it

akjfkejw maybe hyrule has transitioned away from the use of pots or something maybe the screen shudders every time you smash a pot maybe she flinches but does it anyway because gremlin instincts cannot be ignoredddddddd

ooooooooooooooooooooooh what if the fae king pretends he can hear/sense shei in the piece of GBE but hes lying cuz hes a dirty lying liar

AKJSBFIUWABE;F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAOCHGSHHS!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SOLVED THE PROBLEM THATS WHAT STELLA'S DOING THE WHOLE TIME SHES WORKING SEPARATELY (LIKE IN A BOILER ROOM OR SOMETHING) BUT SABOTAGING EVERYONE AND HHHHHHHHH WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT IF SHES ALSO HELPING THE OTHER CHILD SERVANTS ESCAPE WITH LIKE SOME MAGIC OR SOMETHING (suddenly got spirited away vibes. no idea where that came from but BRAIN GO BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR)

and. im Thinking. about what the fae are in relation to the zelda lore. because unlike all the other races that pop up which are at least human-based in pysche faerie are so Not Human at all everything they are is human but a little to the left so What. could have happened to cause that. im thinking of stealing something from the fic i got all my info from (Miraculous Ladybug fic called Spellbound) where a bunch of humans tried to use power that didn't belong to them to become something elevated from humanity and their wish got granted but like not in the way they wanted because they ended up gaining the power they wanted but losing their humanity in the process and that would be So Fucking Cool because in Zelda there's mortals and then there's spirits/gods and nothing in between the fae would be like that bridge between them but instead of being a true bridge like this (forgive my absymal drawing)

they would be a bridge like this

between both but not anchored to neither and it fits even more because you know who's supposed to be a bridge between things LINK its literally his NAME so link being brought up among the false bridge but becoming the actual one between mortal and immortal is oagh ooagh ooooaaaaaaaaaaaa

(i think thats the longest run-on sentence ive ever written forgive me)

but then i have to figure out how that actually HAPPENED

like which people were they?? what power did they use to try and abandon their humanity?? what motive did they have?? cultists of the goddesses who strayed too far?? greedy outsiders unaware of the scope of hyrule's power?? would they be kokiri who grew up or something?? IS THAT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET LOST IN THE LOST WOODS YOU LITERALLY LOSE YOUR HUMANITY??? i like that last one actually

i appreciate your brain dumps so?? much?? seriously im so happy you're into this au i didn't think anybody would be and now i have a buddy to yell with and its the Best Thing so thank you sm 🥺🥺🥺

#fae king would be the BEST to draw #i have a friend with an artstyle that he would look absolutely STUNNING in #i know she would draw him if i asked (shes way to nice for her own good >:( won't even let me compensate her) but im wary about asking #again. thank you so much. #Legacy of a Millennia #spam in the slammer

[householdpowerhouse]

Okay, so I replayed Pokemon Emerald this year, at ripe old age (ancient, in Pokemon years) of 25. I decided to go with “well fuck it im going to headcanon it the way I want it to be”, playin through my 

little dream. So there are some very messy bullet points/ character notes from my playthrough. 

part 1/?

MC - May, around 20ish. They moved from Johto and I believe she hated this idea. I like to think that she was pretty prosperous at Judo back in Johto, her main goal being sports career but the whole moving situation messing up her plans and such. She sat at home for some time, she didn’t really like Pokemon despite Norman attempts to force her to in this very specific ways that dads sometimes sadly do. 

I imagined that she just “rolled with” events as it happened, and the whole “action” of game took like 2-3 years (2 years magma/aqua team situation and another year for championship) 

I think she wouldn’t like to catch Pokemon too much, she would go with Torchic at the beginning and wouldn’t catch anything else until after Roxanne gym.

Steven Stone - god i love this bastard. Immaculate vibes of top-tier college student that dropped out. I think they could have a nice dynamic, as May is kind of person that, at point of their first meeting, doesn’t really care about league or current champion or ex-champion so she could be pretty refreshing in this “I don’t know who you are and I don’t really care, Nerd” attitude. And I like that you have to battle him looong after he disappears leaving the note. So much narrative potential in those bad-boys.

And Norman, the divorce man himself. I think this is pretty good that he got that episode in the anime because I finally get to name the vibes that he has. I think that his and May’s relationship would have gotten worse after she beats him, like the opposite of the catharsis happens here.

#housholdemeralds

[xylophone-p]

Mortal Kombat 11 endings I've seen and what I think about them (spoilers ahead)

Tier list so you know who I have seen the endings for so far (bottom tier is the ones I have not seen yet):

Erron Black: 10/10 became keeper of time, went "fuck this." And dumped the hourglass into the Sea of Blood. Based.

Sonya Blade: 10/10 made her friends and family into gods after slaying what I can only assume was Cthulhu. Boss.

Sub-Zero: 10/10 redeemed his brother and redeemed the Lin Kuei's honor. Joint Grandmasters. Brothers.

Cetrion: 4/10 started to give off abusive vibes. ('If I bring them to their lowest, they'll come crawling back to me' vibes. Like, I know that she's likely once again just misguided here, but holy fuck, Cetrion. Stop it, get some help.) Bad.

Johnny Cage: 10/10 All he changed was making it so Sonya Blade doesn't die and still loves him. Understandable.

Kabal: 9.5/10 Good for him. I don't know how to summarize his ending, but good for him. I think he's not burned, and a dad in his ending. -.5 because I was worried that his ending would be just "I decided to kill everyone". Dad!Kabal/10

Kano: 7/10 he changes his mind, from "I want to have everything I have ever wanted just handed to me" to "... that's fucking boring, I'm going to make it so it's always just out of reach". -3 points because I wanted to kick him in the balls during the first half. Bastard.

Fujin: ∞/10 He's so wholesome???? I love it??? Didn't understand the daily lives of mortals, so he used the hourglass to live many lives and then decided to make world peace. I love this guy. Best ending so far, I almost cried from how wholesome this was. Beloved.

Noob Saibot: 10/10 He went "fuck Kronika" and, at the end of it, he said the quote "now I am become Death, destroyer of worlds". Badass.

Rambo: 15/10 (Since my phone deleted my initial reasoning and I'm Not In The Mood To Rewrite All That, no context.)

Rain: 10/10 His ending might be a bit evil, but his dad definitely deserved it, at least. iffy about everything else he did.

[lavendertownfreak]

I'm home!

I've actually been home for a while. We came home at the very end of april... And um...

[two photos are shown, one of Damian, Vi, and who is assumidly Vi's Sister, as well as a large group of pokemon with them. The other picture shows just Damian, along side his Mime Jr, Drednaw, Rockruff, Linoone, Morpecko, Morgrem, and Cramorant, as well as a Galarian Slowbro, a shiny Drifloon, a Wartortle, a Skarmory, and of course the damn Regirock.]

Shit happened. I got stories. So um... may as well give some context as many of these bitches are around either the garden or my house. (sorry people of lavender town for bringing back a Skarmory and Regirock...).

First is a follow on Glockle. @plasmaapologist thanks again for answering my questing, and I have learned that he just has an ARC tier pain tolerance. Learned this when he decided to try and tank Epsilon FUCKIN EXPLODING on a Skarmory. He very much did react (and was thankfully fine). Some nice lady on the Isle of armor also made a bracelet for him out of some sticks, and then a shelder clamped on and he evolved! Now he has a gun! How cool!

Nature: Sassy

Ability: Quick Draw

Moves: Shell Sidearm/Expanding Force/Flamethrower/Aura Sphere

Next is Alice. She's the Drifloon. Remeber when I said Epsilon blew up on a Skarmory? Yeah, that Skarm was bullying a little golden balloon. I then caught the lady. I love her! She's the newest little cute mon who chills in the house! She's super friendly, super sweet, and has this vibe of eligance to her. That's why I call her a little lady. (She's also a shy little baby)

Nature: Bashful

Ability: Flare Boost

Moves: Explosion/WilloWisp/Hex/Tailwind

Next is Zombie. I found the little lad as a Squirtle and kept him around till he evolved. For reference, I mean I had Zombie around as a Pokemon I DIDN'T OWN, and got to keep him (thx Honey of the Isle of Armor) one he evolved. Zombie is a certified cool guy(TM). He's a little thug, and I'm kinda here for it. Respects the hell outta Crawler, I'm like 90% sure Zombie sees Crawler as a father figure lol. He bites. Sorry in advanced.

Nature: Naughty

Ability: Shell Armor

Moves: Bite/Scald/Rapid Spin/Icy Wind

Then there's Chopper. Remember that Skarmory that was harrassing Alice? Yeah, this is NOT that guy. Found a Skarmory that was acting VERY tempermental (Like, more than normal), and would NOT fly. Turns out he was failing to molt his armor, and was VERY stressed because of it. Got him medical attention to help with that. From there, he kinda just followed me around and then I caught him. Simple. He's also an asshole. But he's a Skarmory, so that's kinda a given. (He actually gets along surprisingly well with Alice lol. He's her steed!)

Nature: Adamant

Ability: Sturdy

Moves: Drill Peck/Steel Wing/Roost/Spikes

I'll lastly say that I not only got Epsilon to listen to me, but I also caught the bastard! He's a funny house statue now lol. (He just stands still next to the door.) So yeah.

Nature: Serious

Ability: Solid Rock

Moves: Explosion/Stone Edge/Drain Punch/Ice Punch

So yeah! For where everyone is, well. Baron lives with Candy, as does Pimple. Everyone else came home with us (For better or worse). Crawler chills with Una, so does Zombie and Kulu. Alice hangs around with Penny on the ceiling, Chopper chills on the roof of either the house or the gym, and Brownie is a house pet. The others live around the gym (and technically Chopper and Zombie are meant to, but still).

Might address Vi's team later.

#pokeblogging #unreality #pokeblog rp #pokemon irl #pkmn irl #pokemon blog #pokemon #pokemon rp #pkmn rp #galar vacation! #galarian slowbro #drifloon #wartortle #skarmory #regirock #sorry for anyone who fights me as a gym leader I now have even more pokemon who aren't ghosts that may show up...

[thecontumacious]

omg hi i just discovered your account and i love your writing???? it gives me so many butterflies

i was wondering if you could write the luxiem boys as house husbands? idkk something about domestic aus are so soft???

House Husband/Domestic Luxiem

a/n: domestic au is top tier yall no cap. i think it's very endearing mostly bcs they're now part of your life and contributing to your living space. here's my apology post after that ike slowburn :D yall were emotionally damaged after that--

also guys, be sure to look out for an announcement post very soon after this post!

Vox Akuma 👹🌹

isn’t he already lol

he def vibes househusband the most

he’s got the cooking skills, he does his chores very diligently

he’d be the most scandalous househusband honestly

he plays into the role a bit too much and uses it to purposely tease you into oblivion

being a househusband and a maid are two different things vox istg 🤦‍♀️

when you come home from work after a long day, he’s got dinner ready for you

and you always come home to a 5 star ten course meal, no matter how many times you tell vox to take it easy on himself

he’ll just lean over to kiss you on the lips as he unties the apron around his waist

“i only want the best for my spouse, what isn’t there i wouldn’t do for you?” he’ll grin, taking your hand and dragging you over to the dinner table

how much do y’all wanna bet he’s tried cooking with JUST his apron ( > _・ )

he’s one cheeky bastard so he’ll spoon feed you when you can

“vox no,” you whine, inching away from the spoon

vox clicks his tongue, “now now, my dear, you’ve had too long of a day to do anything. you need rest so let me do things for you.”

“i can eat by myself you know!!”

he doesn’t care and he’ll keep urging you to take the spoonful

it’s only because he’s hot you humor him¯\_(°‿°)_/¯

“awe was that so hard?” vox smiles mockingly as you pout. then he has the fucking audacity to spoon you another portion, “open wide, dear.”

you would insist every night that you’d wash the dishes and rly you do!

you want to pay vox back for always welcoming you with fancy meals

but again, vox akuma is a very resilient demon so he’s quick to block the sink and push you away easily

“what did i tell you about resting, hm?”

“move your ass over, vox.”

“and who are you to order me around, little one?”

swiftly without much effort, vox picks you up and places you down only when you’re in front of the bathroom

“babeeee just let me do the dishes this once!”

“not happening. come on, you need a bath. i’ll have tea ready for you once you’re done,” vox crosses his arms

srsly why are y’all arguing over who gets to wash the dishes

it’s not even about being reluctant to do it either

he’s going to undress you himself if you were being extra stubborn

not before kissing you senseless ofc <3

“mmph,” you’re interrupted as vox holds you against him

“hey, i love you,” he whispers before kissing you again. “just let me do all the work okay? you’ve worked just as hard so it’s time to take a proper break, my love.”

it’s only then you finally give in and take that bath

and when you get out, your tea (or coffee if you prefer) will be ready by the coffee table in the living room and vox already sat down by the couch waiting for you

“hello, my love. come, sit.”

he always means his lap btw-`д´-

if it had been a particularly bad day for you, vox is nothing but ready with all preparations

food problems are solved since he always cooks only the best and all your favorites

after dinner, he’s going to scoop you into his arms without another word before bathing you himself

at that point, you were just too tired to protest and plus, you loved vox’s gentle hands as he massaged the shampoo into your hair

candles of your favorite scent are lit, the lights down and some gentle music to help you relax

vox will also be whispering sweet nothings to help you release even more tension

“the day is over now, y/n. you’re safe here with me,” he whispers with a smile, brushing back a wet strand hair out of the way as he goes to kiss you

his love language as i’ve mentioned before includes acts of service, so that’s why he insists so much on doing all the housework himself and taking care of you

vox thinks you’ve worked hard enough and since you’ve done your part, it’s only right he does his

at the end of the day, work done for both you and him, he’ll have you cuddle up into his chest as he showers you in more affection

“thank you for working hard today, my dear. rest well. i love you.”

in the morning (especially on weekends), you’ll wake up to breakfast in bed without fail

he’s got all the breakfast foods covered. to fluffy pancakes, the most exquisite bacon and eggs you’ve ever had, fruits of your choice all plated so beautifully

what are you? some kind of monarch???

to vox yes, you are. 💅👑

and even tho this basically becomes a routine for you every week, you never fail to fall for vox more and more

“thank you, baby,” you smile, leaning up to kiss vox

“anything for you, my dear."

other boys utc!

Mysta Rias 🦊🔶

where should i even begin

this man doesn’t even know how to take care of himself sometimes so you were kinda worried at the beginning

and right you were!(ʃᵕ̩̩ ᵕ̩̩)

you’d come home to only half the laundry done (why is this shirt the size of a kid now???), things that shouldn’t be in the dishwasher and a rice cooker that hasn’t even been turned on

idk if y’all has experienced this before but that is the worst texture you could have for rice it’s both rly hard and also mushy

sorry did i ruin rice for ya 🤡

“mysta why do we have a kid sized shirt?”

“huh? wdym?”

“holy fuck is this my work shirt????”

unlike vox, i think y’all would be splitting the duties every week

mysta would do a certain list of tasks and you the same way

on day offs, you had to teach mysta to do things properly this time

yes he may have dyed your white clothes pink and shrunk your favorites the first few times, after that, he knows what he’s doing to the point you trust him with your clothes again

everything else was just about proper practice rly

instead of letting mysta do things on his own the first time, you would always help out after work

examples include helping him wash the dishes, ironing out clothes and sweeping the floors

“why is ironing clothes soo tiring,” he would whine as you handed him the iron back. “can't we just bring our clothes to a laundry place or something?”

“how much do you think that’ll cost us if we routinely come back every few days?”

you’re not tight on money but it’s better to spend it on something else other than laundry

after some time, you trust mysta with the house a lot more

we absolutely can’t forget that mysta likes to impress you when he can

one day after work, you’d be more tired than usual and doing your list of chores was going to be such a hassle

but it was the promise you made with mysta when wanting to share a home together

so imagine the surprise when you suddenly find everything done

the laundry has been done, ironed out and into their proper places, the and sink dishwasher has been cleared out and the floors properly vacuumed

you’d be looking for mysta and only find him passed out on the bed as though he just collapsed

you can’t help but smile, approaching him to brush his hair back and place a kiss on his sleeping face

“thank you, baby,” you’d whisper as he continued to doze off

okay i might’ve said we would trust mysta with chores a little while after sharing a house

but the fact never changes that we will never trust mysta with the kitchen

feels like you need to have a baby (adult??) lock on every single appliance istg⊙︿⊙

so the one house duty you’d never give to mysta is cooking duty, even if you were bad at cooking yourself

it’s mostly up to you how breakfast, lunch and dinner will turn out for the week

this does unfortunately mean that you’d have to wake extra early just to make breakfast for you and mysta before going to work

if you don’t work at home, lunch is probably going to be leftovers from dinner or takeout

or if you didn’t have any, you strictly told mysta to make something he was actually sure he could do like cereal or a sandwich

💀💀

“mysta i don’t want to come home to find the kitchen on fire, the pan burnt or the microwave emanating a suspicious smell okay?”

“oh come on let me make you something already!”

“maybe once you know how to handle hot oil.”

“HEY THAT'S NOT FAIR HOT OIL HURTS LIKE A BITCH”

“so no you can’t make me something unless i’m there to supervise”

for days where you have to come home late, mysta will have a very nice surprise for you

he’s taking out the maid outfit bet

“welcome home, master! here, let me take your things. i have a bath ready and food on the table!”

you panic and look at him, “food?”

he’ll grin, “ofc! come eat first then, master.”

“are those takeout boxes?”

“ANYWAY HERE EAT, ENJOY”

🥡🥡

baths with mysta are a mess because it will most likely end up with the floor being flooded with soap water

“mystaaaa you made the floors all wet!!”

“it’s your fault, y/n! you threw water at me first!”

“you were tickling me!!”

the night usually ends with cuddling while watching a movie, or gaming together if you’re not too tired

and when you collapse into mysta’s lap with the biggest smile on your face, you pull mysta in for a gentle kiss, whispering, “i love you mysta.”

“i love you too,” mysta returns your kiss once more as you shut your eyes, with mysta brushing away at your hair

Luca Kaneshiro 🦮🔆

what counts as a househusband again?

he has money enough to cover an entire staff that can prepare your meals, take care of your clothes and make sure the house is in its best state

but if he were given the choice? he would love to

luca knows how to do chores (albeit sometimes forget he had some) so you trust him enough with the house while you’re gone

luca is the type to insist on doing all the work himself but when you offer to help, he can’t resist

why? because he was admittedly missing you so much

having you by his side while doing the dishes or sort laundry out together was as good as any date this world could offer

no promises that he’s not going to fling bubbles at you or play impromptu dress up during the chores(´～｀ヾ)

“LUCA!”

“HSHAHAHAH YOU LOOK SO CUTE WITH THAT BUBBLE MUSTACHE BABE!”

“SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT THEN!”

“WAIT NO DON'T—“

more time added to do extra chores but luca doesn’t mind so long as you did them together <3

in terms of cooking, you take turns

in the mornings, it’s usually luca since he gets up pretty early

lunches are on you

dinners you usually decide and cook together

also, if you have work outside the house, it’s more than likely that luca will go out of his way to make you a bento with the cutest little designs he can find on pinterest

at first it didn’t turn out well (at least it was tasty), but the more mornings he did it, the better it looked to the point where you’d open your lunch box to see an onigiri shaped like augustus >:D

he’s definitely the type to write you different notes everyday

actually not just handwritten notes, he’s printing pictures of either him, you or augustus being silly

it never fails to make you happy, especially when work was piling up more that day

you never feel embarrassed to eat your cute bentos with your friends, if you could you’d show it off

“bro why do you get to eat rly cute shit??”

you can only smile, spooning more of the delicious food into your mouth

and when you come home, luca is already there waiting for you like the natural golden retriever he is

“hey baby! welcome home!!” he’s running over to you, picking you up and spinning you around like those cliche long distance couples finally meeting at the airport scenes

except of course, you just saw each other this morning(ノ▽〃)

“hi luca,” you grin, leaning down to kiss his nose

“i missed you,” he’ll grin, putting you down as he nuzzles into your neck full of adoration

“i missed you too.”

depending on how late you’ll be working, luca will either wait for you before starting dinner or already have dinner done by the time you get home

speaking of bad days, luca will definitely take initiative to do all the chores himself even if you insisted

“wait isn’t it my turn to do the dishes today?”

luca will then push you back down to the chair, kissing your forehead

“nope, not anymore. i’m doing them for you,” he’ll say. even tho he deep down wants to do chores with u, he understands that you’re very tired and need a break

so what he does is sit you by the counter or on the dining table where he can still be in the same room as you

and he’ll start asking you about your day

but if you don’t want to talk about it, luca will be quick to put some music on and just be silly with it

especially when you’ve had a very irritating day, luca will do his best to make you smile and or laugh

of course he’s gonna rope augustus in if he can

“alright augustus, take care of them for me!”

augustus will growl gently, looking up at him

luca will then lean down to peck your forehead with the most contagious smile, “i’ll be back in a moment, baby!”

and after he’s done, he’s doing baths with you, almost always with you

he loves when he can take care of you and when you take care of him, especially since his love language i headcanon is quality time

“turn around, let me scrub your back.”

“babe, babe, let’s use this bath bomb this time.”

“ooohhh babe babe the shampoo i ordered online just came in today!”

he has so much fun washing your hair and body he’s so fucking sweet 💛💛

and he loves doing skincare with you, doesn’t care if other people judge him for it

“cmere cmere baby,” luca will smile at you, patting his lap

you crawl over and you just nuzzle into his neck, to which he welcomes you with warmth of his own

“i missed you sooo much today,” he whispers, bringing you even closer against him. “hey, you know i love you right?”

“mhm, i love you too, luca.”

“good, good,” he’ll laugh before pressing a kiss to your forehead. “have a good night’s rest, alright?”

“i will, thank you luca,” you mumble before falling asleep pretty easily

referring back to breakfast duty, luca will definitely make you breakfast in bed every single day along with the most hype way of waking one up

“gOOD MORNING HONEY BUN!” he yells, jumping onto the bed next to you

you groan from the grogginess, cracking your eyes just a bit to look at luca before realizing the sun hadn’t even shone, “lucaaa the sun isn’t even up yet…”

“why do we like have to start our day before the sun shows up? come onnn, let’s take a run!”

bless you for those who actually are morning people and take working out seriously

i for one (and many other ppl bet) am interested in none (¬､¬)

so if you are like me, luca will try to understand but he rly wants you to start the day early since he knows waking up early is a good thing for you and so is exercising

luca sighs when you curl back up under the covers, “alright fineee, i’ll give you thirty more minutes, kay? i’ll come back.”

but luca is a huge softie

if you’re not awake by then, he’s more than likely going to kiss you goodbye before leaving for that run anyway

“sigh, you’re lucky you look so cute when you sleep. alright then, sleep well for me, babe. i love you,” he whispers, brushing away bits of your hair and tucking in some of the blankets

Ike Eveland 🖋💙

the sweetest househusband ever

he’s not as chaotic as luca and mysta, and def not as nerve wrecking as vox

he’s easily the person you trust the chores with when you’re gone, but do know he will appreciate you splitting duties with him

cooking isn’t something you worry about either, but again, y’all take turns on who does it everyday

so it’s more than likely that you’ll be making bargains with the benefit of who has to do more chores than the other

“ikeee please??? just let me finish this one season and i’ll do the laundry for the rest of week!”

“y/n, sweetie, i can't stop writing right now. i’m on fire. yes, i know it’s my turn to do the dishes but i rly have to write this down else i’ll forget! okay, fine, how about this. you do it for me now and i’ll do your chores for the rest of week, okay?”

“can we get this?? it’s limited edition! i’ll do the chores for a month!”

slowly becoming businesspeople are we?ᕕ༼⌐■-■༽ᕗ

bcs i do see ike as someone who isn’t fond of chores and would rather do his own interests than them

when you come home, ike will most likely be on the couch reading/writing/working on something

“hey sweetheart, welcome home,” he puts down his things before approaching you with his arms open

when you collapse into them, he’ll kiss your forehead and brush at your hair, swaying back and forth as though you’re dancing

“how was your day today?”

cooking with ike will be a bit more of a challenge since he said he can’t cook anything too complex

he uses your exhaustion as an excuse to just eat out

that little bastard

“hey, you don’t have to cook tonight. let’s order out, yeah?”

it’s not that he doesn’t like home cooked meals, he just doesn’t want to bother himself or you in the kitchen to cook anything

and when you’re very strict about his tendency to do that, he’s going to pout and bargain his way out

“no ike”

“sweetheart pleaseeee?”

you cross your arms, “for the last time, no.”

“i’ll take care of the dishes for the rest of the week~”

“for fuck’s sake, ike, you can’t order burgers every two days! that’s just not healthy!”

ike will just sigh and begrudgingly agree, letting you go into the kitchen anyway

“be a good boy and sit there. don’t order anything, mkay?” you lean down to kiss a very pouty ike

“fine” 🍔 ❌

so yeah, no chance of getting breakfast in bed sorry(T⌓T)

but if you’re also not into cooking

instant noodles 🍜, burgers 🍔 and pizzas🍕 for dayssss

no srsly pls learn how to cook its a survival skill especially if you’re living with someone who can't cook mysta

ngl, vox will actually be worried with the amount of takeout and pizza boxes he finds in your home

he’s going to take initiative to bonk ike on the head for not learning how to cook

BUT

i do think if ike had to cook, he’d make a pretty decent meal! he just doesn’t have the motivation to do it most days

on especially harder days, ike will do the cooking for you this time, despite his preference of eating out

he’s not michelin star chef vox but he knows how to handle a hot kitchen dw

when you come through the door, more sluggish than usual, he’ll pull you in for a long hug and the sweetest kisses on your head

“come here, sweetheart. i’ve made us dinner,” ike will cup your face to look at him and there he is with the softest smile in the world, enough to wash away the stress

ike is a natural romantic i think, so he’ll dim the lights and ignite some candles to make the mood a lot more gentle and a way to calm your anxiety down from your long day

the food he makes he tries to make are more so as comfort food to further ease your mental well-being

ike is more than likely to have already taken a bath but will that stop him from getting in there with you? nope

if you rly asked for it, he’ll get in with you

unlike mysta and luca, you and ike basically cuddle each other in the waters

he’s asking you about your day, massaging your head, scrubbing your back

he won’t know what to do when you accidentally (or was it?) fall asleep on him

“hey, sweetheart, you know you can’t sleep in here. come on, let’s dry up first and we’ll get you to bed okay?”

“mhm,” you groan

he won’t hesitate to carry you back to bed if you’re that tired as well

ike is definitely going to be reading you something if you feel a bit restless and his voice is just- 💙💙

“the end,” ike flips the book over and turns to you, fast asleep with your steady breathing and calm expression. he smiles, placing the book away before snuggling up next to you properly

he takes his time to study your face, for once at peace for today and resting

he plays with your hair a bit, pressing kisses to your face before falling asleep himself

“good night, älskling (darling in swedish!). i’ll see you in the morning.”

Shu Yamino 🔮✨

sorcerer househusband, yes pls✨

just like ike and vox, you can definitely trust shu with the chores

he knows what he’s doing

or if he doesn’t, he learns quickly and would tbh use his sorcery just so he doesn’t have to get up

you are forever grateful for his sorcery skills too~( ˘▾˘~)

but also do keep in mind his powers are limited, so don’t get too dependent on them okay?

he’s the type to want to split the chores with you and will bargain with doing more chores than the other like ike;;

buuuuut shu will not hesitate on taking the offer of doing chores together so you can vibe in the same room especially if you work outside of home and he doesn’t get to see you all the time

and you’d be breaking his heart if you refused

me holding a knife to yer throat: ༽◺_◿༼

“shuu, can you help out with dishes, please?”

and he’ll drop everything he’s doing and rush on over to you, all hands on deck

“what do you need me to do?”

if possible, he’s going to jam out to your favorite songs and generously tire out his vocal cords just because he can

you weren’t rly complaining either since you loved his singing voice anyway <3

“PAPAPARAPAPARAPAPA! NAZO NAZO KAZO E TO ASOBASI MASHOU!”

“TATATARATATARATATA! NAZE NAZE KOKO DE OTO TERU DESHOU?”

where my vocaloid lovers at

didn’t care if u butchered that song, yall are wiggling around in the kitchen after dinner singing your hearts out

shu has some skills in cooking? he could theoretically cook ig

there was the choice to use his sorcery to help him cook but it just didn’t feel satisfying to know you were eating a meal that wasn’t made purely from his hands

so, shu will scrap his sorcery skills whenever possible

which will then result in a curry dinner with unevenly cut potatoes and carrots

but!!

like i said, shu learns pretty quickly, so he’ll get the hang of it pretty soon

before he lived with you, he’d just choose not to cook for himself but he’s proud to say he’s far more decent in the culinary field than mysta

“hm! this is so much better, shu!”

shu blushes slightly, laughing it off, “practice makes perfect i guess!”

why do i have this headcanon where shu will get kinda addicted to cooking?

in the beginning, shu would ask to split cooking duties with you, varying it every week

but the more he cooks, the more he gets carried away and sometimes take over completely

“hey, shu, what do you want for dinner?”

“oh, i already made us some! it’s just waiting in the oven right now.”

you’d continuously scold him for taking over cooking duty again, mostly because it didn’t feel fair you didn’t take part

but his food helps you forgive him lmao

when days are particularly bad and you had informed shu beforehand you’d come home later than usual,

shu is more than ready to make sure you come home to everything prepped and that you didn’t have to strain a single muscle on your body

“welcome home, baby,” shu will greet you as you take off your shoes at the front door. he extends a hand towards you

and though he was not using any of his sorcery, you feel enchanted by him already

you smile tiredly, taking his hand anyway as he guided you to the dining room where your favorite food is, warm and ready to be eaten

your favorite gentle music is in the background

“go ahead, eat first. i have the bath ready for you once you’re done,” shu says in the softest voice known to man?????

bath time! 🛁

at first, shu wanted to give you some alone time to relax in the tub

but as you tugged his hand back, looking up at him with the most undeniable puppy dog eyes 🥺 , he sighs

depending if he’s already taken a bath or not, he could either just sit outside the tub while holding your hand or hop in with you

he’s helping you scrub yourself down

also, you’re leaving the bathroom literally sparkling???

you don’t know what he did to the bath, but you’re not complaining because you felt physically and mentally amazing

“did u put some sort of illegal drug in there? cuz im super sleepy right now…”

shu will just chuckle, guiding you back to bed as he tucked you in

it's not actual drugs i promise( •̀ω•́ )σ

“just rest for me, okay? you had a long day and it’s only right that you sleep it off. you’ve been working so hard lately,” shu whispers, brushing back your hair

you can only hum, too exhausted to protest as you cuddle up into his chest

one final kiss to the lips and he’s wishing you goodnight, “good night, babe. sleep and dream well.”

look, i’d say right now shu would make you breakfast in bed but this man has a terrible sleep schedule so it’s very very likely that he’ll wake up just as late as you

but hey, that means making breakfast together and jamming to more vocaloids~

“DON’T HIDE WHAT YOU WANNA DO COME DA DA DA DI BA DO”

Masterlist!

#luxiem #luxiem x reader #nijisanji en #nijisanjien #luxiem fluff #vox akuma #mysta rias #luca kaneshiro #ike eveland #shu yamino #vox akuma x reader #mysta rias x reader #luca kaneshiro x reader #ike eveland x reader #shu yamino x reader #DON’T HIDE WHAT YOU WANNA DO COME DA DA DA DI BA DO #author chan’s delivery service ?

[daisys-gard3n]

Daisy that post abt Formaggio gives me babymaking brainrot guh I'm melty now. Maggi plz PLZ 🥺💖 He has those Good Dad vibes. Like sure he's a sick bastard on the job but so loving with his kids,,, god and he'd probably want quite a few. Lotta breeding for whoever's lucky enough to be his baby mommy,,, be still my fluttering coochie,,,

-@gunkierengines / Liz

@jellyluchi @hoestarave2

I guess we having maggi breeding thoughts today

Formaggio is the top dad in La Squadra, he gives off a very chill but caring and fun daddy. He'd be the kind of dad to have a kangaroo pouch with his kid in it as he goes grocery shopping (mostly to buy beer). He's top tier playing horsey with his kid and teasing them, giving them raspberries on their tummies and doing all the baby talk while they giggle and let their daddy put them on his knee and bounce them on it. He wants a lot of kids, so you better be prepared bc Formaggio isn't gonna be able to keep his hands off of you for long.

You could have greasy hair, wearing a stained shirt, cute fluffy pjs, or whatever - Formaggio's horny brain gonna want some of that. He doesn't even care if you didn't shower. He just thinks his Mama is sexy and wants them to sit on his fat cock. You'll definitely find yourself in the laundry room with your body propped against the washing machine as Formaggio pulls your bottoms and underwear down and rails you, a small quickie before the kids come in. You could be breastfeeding your latest baby, and he's gonna be like:

"Ayo...Let Papa have some of that-"

This man has the most fertile sperm ever - the one time he didn't have a condom on, you were pregnant. It's sooooo thick and filling, on the third round he's cumming in you and it spills out of your cunt and back onto him. He wants to empty his balls with you, and it's cute when you're so fucked out and filled with his cum. And when you're pregnant? He's definitely gonna see your swollen tummy and thing "...I can fit another one in there."

#not sfw #formaggio #'dilf jojo' #baby headcanons #gn reader #afab reader #jjba confessions

[sixeyesgojo]

Gojo with a father in law like Claude from wmmap hcs pls? Let's go all in and make daddy op as fuck and hotter

Omg, anon, I think we talked past one another 😭😭 I thought you wanted a fullblown oneshot and meanwhile you only wanted hcs? I feel bad for miscommunicating now 😭😭

Anyway, a little note for everyone (which I have added to my nav now):

Currently, normal requests are closed.

Requests for my 400 follower milestone thing are open.

Headcanon requests or any kinds of ask (like, asking random stuff or telling me about something) are always open.

That being said and without further ado, let's embark on this journey!

I did change father-in-law to soon-to-be father-in-law because... wouldn't it be weird if Gojo didn't know his s/o's parent?

Summary: Gojo with a future father-in-law who looks very young for his age, is extremely good-looking, is very powerful and a TOP TIER DILF. (inspired by Claude de Alger Obelia)

You and Gojo have been dating for quite some time, about a year and several months.

Some people might argue that getting married after dating for 'only so long' would be too early

but Satoru knows he wants to spend his life with you already;

you have suffered enough because of his hectic schedule and almost never-ending absence, yet graced him with love and affection everytime he came home

So he plans to ask that question soon

Yes, he has prepared everything already, carefully planned it out

He also ordered the ring already; naturally, it's a custom-made one because he won't let you have anything less than perfect

So Satoru is on his way to pick up the ring at the jeweler's

He has time because you're out with a friend (?) anyway

You just said you'd go out with someone and he didn't bother asking with who

Anyway, he's in town and he spots you

He wants to surprise you and say hello... but who is that? The man linking arms with you? The one that makes you laugh so heartily?

"Noooo, DADDY! That would be soooo mean!" you laugh.

Daddy? But that was your nickname for Satoru-

For a moment, his trust falters and Satoru feels a sting in his chest

You wouldn't cheat on him right?

Nooooooooooooo BUT WHO IS THAT YOUNG AND GOOD-LOOKING MAN, TOUCHING YOU SO CASUALLY???

Haha... jk... unless it's true-

Satoru follows the two of you around, in stealth

He notices different things about the dude who's with you: That bastard also has blue eyes that seem to sparkle in any light... light-colored hair... and an immense presence of cursed energy that doesn't quite feel like cursed energy. Satoru feels slightly intimidated by being overpowered but he would never admit it.

So that was your type?! Like Satoru himself but with more time on his hands and probably even stronger! Horrible!! A love rival for sure.

Satoru's blue eyes spy the two of you going into some kind of café

DID YOU JUST KISS HIS CHEEK AFTER ORDERING? GASP.

Several cracks have stretched across Satoru's heart.

He returns home with the velvety box semi-carelessly tossed into the drawer next to the bed

Wasn't that enough evidence already? Still, he decides to text you. Benefit of the doubt.

Toru: Babeee, when are you home? Miss ya.

You: Idk yet, I'm at some place right now

Toru: Some place?

✔ Read 4:49 PM

You: Oh yeah, sorry, we were ordering some food and stuff hehe

By the way, you'll meet him later!! Be prepared!

Toru: Meet who? WHO IS IT???

✔ Read 5:46 PM

MEET HIM??? THE DUDE?? Hell no. Why would you or he want that?!

We're gonna fast forward because we don't wanna watch Satoru anxiously doing... stuff for an hour straight 👀

They meet.

"So this is the man my daughter gave her heart to? Not... what I expected... I get a playboy vibe but I'll respect my daughter's choice, I suppose," the man, who is watching Satoru with blazing blue eyes, comments

Wait wha-

DAUGHTER??

"Toruuuuu, meet my Daddy!" - now it all makes sense. It was not a nickname but a title 💀💀

This man, with the humonguous amount of cursed energy, is your FATHER?

For the first time in a while, the mighty Gojo Satoru is rendered speechless

The meeting is very awkward to say the least and Satoru is sure your father does NOT have a good 'first' impression of him

After saying goodbye to your dad, Satoru confronts you and confesses his deeds, how he saw you and how his trust faltered for a moment

You reassure him you'd never leave him but you can't help but laugh

Satoru's pout prompts you to peck his lips, it had to be done

It's safe to say that Satoru would spend a looooooot of time to get into your dad's good graces because Daddy's princess deserves the best and only the best

#nie answers #anon #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo #gojo satoru headcanons #gojo headcanons #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen headcanons

[apocalypse-boogie]

Scooby-Doo! Camp Scare

Initial Thoughts whilst watching

Luke sounds like Robin (checked and he’s voiced by Scott Menville so I was correct)

Matthew Lillard is once again reminding me why I love him as Shaggy so much

Deacon sounds like Mark Hamill and I’m pretty sure he is actually voiced by him

The Woodsman design is pretty cool

They really do sexualize the hell out of the older girls (it’s pretty blatant when it happens but it’s not consistent throughout the whole movie)

The Creature from the Black Lagoon/lake monster thing is suitably terrifying

The animation is a great time honestly

They do a really good job of incorporating the Friday the 13/Sleep-away Camp style of movie and I love it (one of the reasons I wanted to revisit this for the first time since I watched it in 2010 was to see what slasher reference I could catch with my more recent love of horror movies)

I also wanted to see if the movie held up as good in my memory on rewatch (spoiler: it did)

Shag and Scoob being sensible, courageous little cowards is my favorite thing and this movie has it

Camp Scare is one of the newer Scooby-Doo movies that’s good on its own without a cheesy gimmick like the WWE crossover ones (though those have their merit)

Considering how much I liked this I want to rewatch Abracadabra again too

The scares aren’t bad for a kids film at all

I really don’t remember enough of this to be familiar with plot beats and character motivations but I think it’s for the best, it’s much more enjoyable this way

There’s a specter now. Her screech is legitimately terrifying but she herself isn’t as scary as the specters that I remember from the Abracadabra movie or The Witches Ghost. Still pretty scary though, I’m a little on edge.

I’m pretty sure Deacon, who has to be voiced by Hamill, is up to some shit. I just don’t remember what exactly, Gagster related by the looks of this flashback

How they gon just flood a whole town like that wth

Deacon is Babyface, huh

Is the Woodsman a secret good guy copout villain or is he also apart of whatever scheme

Never mind

The Who’s driving gag gets me every time, I love it

Babyface you goddamn bastard

Woodsman kind of reminds me of The Creeper now that I’m hearing him talk while he lumbers around

Mans just fell, oh shit

Shaggy after five minutes in a busted up holding cell: “I can’t do hard time!”

Woodsman pulled a whole Michael Myers. Alright bud.

Scooby biting the fish man, Shaggy saving him, and Scooby then running the fish man over is top tier

The Ranger did it!

I mean he’s a magnificent creature actor, I’ll give him that

Babyface was pretty considerate in the long run since he at least wanted them out before he flooded the camp

*sigh* Fred

The Jessica/Daphne rivalry was so dumb and Jessica wasn’t even interested in him. Good for her.

The beginning and end songs are fairly good and the soundtrack throughout the whole movie was pivotal in adding to the scary vibe at times 👌🏾

I’m going to watch Music of the Vampire next (also one I’ve watched before years ago but remember basically nothing of)

By the way, if anyone’s curious my favorite vampire-esque Scooby movie is Legend of the Vampire (I just love the intro to the Hex Girls and the creature design has always been my favorite, it’s fucking awesome)

Camp Scare gets (in pumpkins) 🎃8/🎃10

I find it hilarious that Music of the Vampire takes place in Louisiana and True Blood also does 🤣

Review OVER!

[clip from Scooby-Doo Music of the Vampire]

Music of the Vampire is a fucking musical. I love!

(I too also wanna go to a Vampire Festival and be seduced by a sexy supernatural creature from a book Daphne)

I think MotV will also get an 8🎃/🎃10, maybe even a 9🎃/🎃10 if the vampire and musical angle really does it for me 👍🏾

#me• #✨trix speaks✨ #review #scooby doo #music of the vampire #scooby doo music of the vampire #scooby doo camp scare #camp scare #ramblings•