#he insisted idk how many time to just casually hang out after his therapy with some others from the therapy

[azenta]

To continue on the last rant...

#the two guys finally admitted. one saturday the other sunday. it finally concluded repatively well for these two #at least more so for one of the two who made some realisation. the other... not so much. still to be watched tbh. #but still. the others i had a doubt about were still on thin ice this weekend. #and pretty sure they did much more than we will ever really know. but that's on them acting dumb in therapy. #at least the dude that is like my ex finally leave tomorrow. and god im relieved. #he insisted idk how many time to just casually hang out after his therapy with some others from the therapy #and i refused and explained politely all while being firm that it wasnt possible each single fucking duckling time #no dude. you dont understand. this one rule protects my ass from people like you. #you have your own suffering yes but when it threatens my own well being i swear ill protect myself against it. #he acted like a dick tonight with his therapy buddy by inventing that other of my colleagues organized a gathering with other clients #around the end of june. and then started laughing at me when i straight out said 'no it's false' to the shit they said. #as some form of way to make me doubt and convince me to come. like. my dudes. im not naive. i swear im not. #im in fact extremely fucking distrustful. when i go along it's because of that retarded stupid ass people pleasing pattern i have. #but when you hit the 'doubt' box in my mind... #i swear you wont have the time to process wtf is happening that i will be gone and far away from your orbit #and you triggered that box the day you arrived at the center. so dont expect to get away with some disgusting manipulative tactics #anyway... #im just glad he's finally leaving. the worst is everyone liked him. because dudes like him are sadly charismatic af. #tho also im aware he had great qualities and isnt fundamentally a bad person. but he still has that destructive side with people unhealed #it's only a question of time... #im still angry and wary x1000 about that shit that happened this evening... #lets bet he'll try to reach me out some way or another at some point in the next few weeks... #i really hope not tho... i hope im just being overly distrustful #rant #personal