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#he hasn’t said anything to me yet and all my stories are private so...
walkman-cat · 8 months
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please please tell me things about your detective noir au, it's been living in my head rent free since I saw it
OH BOY !! I love detective noir au soso much thankyou to @pigeonwit for writing the thing which incited me creating it and for helping me with a lot and for being enthusiastic about it ! wbwbw !!
I’ve been using it as a fun design project over a story project for the time being, so plot has been put on a back burner while i focus on research and costume design (and funky character dynamics), but I have got a random assortment of Things I’ve thought up for it wbwbw!
First things first: it’s set in 1927-1928, and I’m using a lot of uksies versions of the characters/character dynamics.
Davey’s (obviously) a Private Eye; he’s somewhat well known because he’ll take any case (it doesn’t matter if his client can’t afford his rates, he’ll solve the case for free) and will not stop until it is solved (sometimes to the detriment of his health). He clings to his morals so hard he leaves fingernail-shaped indents; he’s trying soso hard to stay afloat and keep his head above new york’s criminal underbelly (which is difficult when one of the most influential and feared mob bosses in the city has decided you’re her Good Pal). Most of what he earns goes to his family, he has to provide for them somehow, to return all they did for him somehow. He’s constantly exhausted, he doesn’t remember a time he hasn’t been exhausted.
He’s still autistic and still Jewish I’m never taking that from him wbwbw (he speaks English, Yiddish, Polish, and some Hebrew)
Jack’s the Homme Fatale character. He’s shady, he’s putting on a front, he’s very morally grey, he’s trying so desperately to escape the situation he’s in and find the means to live the life he wants to live over the live he’s been given that he sinks deeper and deeper into crime and the shadier part of the city. He was still a newsie and friends/brothers with Race and Crutchie, and is still in contact with them both.
just imagine michael jack with a long cigarette holder. Those are the vibes.
Did you see me say “unshakeable morals” when describing Davey? Yeah I lied. He killed a man in cold blood once, and he was terrified of how little he felt guilty over it, and how readily he’d kill again if he was in the same situation. The city is seeping in injustice and violence and a part of him was suffocated a long time ago. He tries not to think about it.
He also threatened to kneecap Race’s dad once <3 My guy is clinging onto the concept of Right and Wrong but also has a frequent urge to Maim Bite Kill.
Jack, despite his moral gray-ness, has never killed.
oh btw there’s javid somewhere in there. They’re very detective-thief enemies-to-annoyances-to-lovers (pidge has their dynamic in this au DOWN in this post)
Kath is simultaneously the Fast-Talking Reporter (Kit Plumber) and Dame With A Case (Katherine Pulitzer). She’s less interested in journalism as an industry than she for it’s Purpose, when she stumbles into something she shouldn’t or delves to deeply into an investigation and her bosses tell her to drop it and Forget, she goes either to Jack (as Kit) or to Davey (as Katherine)— sometimes to both.
She doesn’t know that they don’t know that Kit and Katherine are the same person (Jack has no idea Kit Plumber is anything other than a reporter, doesn’t need to ask; Davey has his suspicions over how and why an heiress has yet another case of corruption or something involving the mob, but he doesn’t voice them because she’s generous and maybe also his friend??). This leads to Shenanigans.
People whisper about Spot Conlon in fear throughout New York’s boroughs. She’s a mob boss, and her “family”’s influence has seeped so deep into the city that some people say he’s the real person running it. (Many of the Brooklyn newsies are her lieutenants). She’s also decided that Davey is one of her close friends and allies (because Lillie said that Spot and Davey would be friends and I think it’s funny that this really feared mob boss thinks Davey is his Good Pal and has him over sometimes).
She/He Spot Conlon Real (the rumours and whispers sometimes refer to Spot as a woman, sometimes as a man, and Spot couldn’t care less.)
Spot owns the speakeasy Medda runs and performs at, and it’s her “family” that supplies it with alcohol. Crutchie’s the pianist and Race is its Shady Bartender. He keeps letting Jack into the speakeasy so in retaliation she invites Davey over (with the pretence of exchanging information) because she knows Race doesn’t like Davey very much.
Race’s initial dynamic with Davey is very similar to how it is in act 1 of uksies (Race somewhat hates mostly dislikes and definitely doesn’t trust Davey). By the time the plot begins they’re on slightly better terms (they have a funky dynamic I can’t exactly explain atm but I will one day, but I’ll just say Race trusts Davey mostly because Splasher trusts Davey. Also Davey threatened to kneecap his father when his father found him so there’s also that).
Splasher and Davey have a funky found family dynamic too wbwbw!! Davey helped Splasher one time and Splasher thought he was very cool and started following him around and finding evidence for him (who let this child into mob territory who let this child look at corpses). One time Splasher found a recently-executed body in the East River and he called Davey his dad while Davey was soothing him. Davey calls him boychik.
The newsies of lower manhattan all know Davey as Splasher’s older brother/father figure and Les’ big brother. And also as the guy whose office they hang out in all the time.
Splasher also knows Spot because he’s really good friends with Pips. Pips calls Spot “Spottie”. That’s all.
I’d like it to be very clear that Davey and Jack are both having The Worst Time Of Their Lives but they look so so cool while doing it.
wbwbw that’s all i can think of now, and pretty much all that I’ve explored so far but thank you soso much for asking about detective noir au! it’s a fun time and i enjoy researching designing for it soso much wbwbw
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hushroomloser · 2 months
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Chris Evans Short Story Part 8
Part 8 
Pairing: ReaderxChrisEvans 
Request: Meeeee 
Prompt: “I’m sorry I thought you were somebody else”
Warning(s): I’m a first-time writer
Word count: 586
A/N: Hey online strangers, I wrote the first part a while back and have the rest of the story in my drive but have never posted it. This story I wrote way back in 2019 :'(. I will be posting at random times if you stay and read it thank you so much. Enjoy xoxox - I have no idea how many parts this story and technically I haven’t an ending yet. 
The dreaded block has come and taken me. That and university seems to enjoy giving me some solid sucker-punches every few days. Alas like life I might have given up on this story and writing it altogether. I do not know who’s enjoying this mess of a story. Lol, anywho I will update once again in a blue moon and edit all of the parts to make them more coherent. Especially now that AI can write cry ... my unattainable dreams
Xoxo 
From a tired girly 
White, red and purple consumed the cafeteria, filled with residents, doctors and other health professionals. Rush hour had yet to peak, and yet it was slowly starting to fill up. 
Maybe we shouldn’t have coffee here, he thought. 
Chris roamed around the hospital to find the best spot to grab a quick drink. Unfamiliar with the place he had gotten lost a few times, asking strangers to the nearest exit every time. 
“Hey, you’re that guy right.” 
Dreading it, he hadn’t been recognized yet, mostly because everyone seemed busy. He did not mind taking a picture and talking with a fan but he did not want to be late for his date, especially since he hadn’t found a place to take her yet. He turned around, looking at the person who had called him. 
“Hi, I think so.” 
In his shyness, he managed to smile at the tall stranger wearing a lab coat. He took a quick glance at the name embroidered on his coat, the name was Doctor Gagnon. 
“Are you looking for Lizzy, uhm Dr. Kelley by any chance?” Frowning his brows, he wondered how he knew this specific doctor. A little sad that maybe hospital gossip had been playing a major role in his interaction. 
His anxiety had been slowly elevated when the stranger seemed to recognize the emotion on his face, feeling his uneasiness towards him he quickly said “I am her finance, if that helps, do not worry she hasn’t told anyone. I just know because she texted me about the girl that hit you at the coffee shop.” he giggled thinking about her hitting the Captain. 
Chris did not know why he would giggle or if it was an inside joke or anything he was just surprised at how this stranger, this doctor had been so nonchalant about who he was. He had been used to people being starstruck, especially after playing Captain America. 
He paused and looked at him, he was beautiful even for a straight man the guy he was staring at was a very beautiful man, the movies did not do him justice he thought. 
“Do not worry”, he laughed 
“I won’t tell anyone that I saw the Chris Evans''
“What are you looking for?” the gentle giant asked. He wondered if people got scared of him because of his demeanour and his height. He was a very imposing and confident man compared to him, 
Chris did not know what to think, the giant seemed so nice. “Uhmm thank you, I was just looking for a private coffee shop in this honestly big hospital. “ he started to ramble, ·” How is this soooo big but looks soo small I feel like I am in a maze”, he told the stranger, he felt at ease for some reason telling him of his struggles. The strangers giggled and said, “Yeah I am still confused about it and I have been here for like 5 years it is a very strange place.” 
“The coffee shop next to the parking lot at the end of the hallway should be private enough if you are bringing her there.” he smiled. 
Chris wondered how he knew but he guessed that they were all friends. Chris smiled back, shyly not knowing what to say. 
‘Thank you”, he said shyly, he was truly embarrassed that someone had figured out what he wanted to do. He did not know what to say or add he just stared at the stranger, a very handsome stranger to boot.
….. 
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kanmom51 · 2 years
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I have been reading you for long time, what’s your opinion on nowadays jikook relationship? Did you notice the change? Do you think they are still couple? Do they maybe have now time off for some time to figure out stuff? Several months ago you did post that was quite popular where you made conclusion “TKK are simply not a thing, while JKK clearly are a couple” @ because Tae forgot that JK did 2 hour vlive (he even commented during it but simply forgot). Now Jungkook forgot or didn’t know (it’s unlike, I think he saw it maybe for bride second but just brushed it as if it was unimportant information in his brain) where Jimin’s new tattoo is. How is this situation different from what you initially thought about tk one? Isn’t the conclusion should be the same?
You seem angry, lol.
And from your ask I guess you are also sure that JK and JM are no longer together.
Funny how JK seems to have had his JM tattoo just touched up (just the JM, those two specific letters).
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Before I get into JK’s Vlive, you ask me what I think the status of their relationship is now days.
My answer to you is that I think they are fine and dandy. I think they are as in love as ever and their long term relationship is as strong as it has ever been.
Seeing their interactions in LV, JK being super loud not only on his IG stories or his Vlive, but also during the concerts and the Vlive Hobi, Tae, JM and JK had.
Only to mention a very few of said words/actions/interactions:  JK’s “keep being jealous I’ll keep holding JM, blblblblb”, JK’s description of JM hugging him with a big ass smile on his face, JK’s ass grab, JK saying “love you” to JM (I do think he thought the mic was off and we weren’t going to hear that one, that it was for JM’s ears only, oopsy), JK’s heart finger for JM, JK carrying JM, their interactions, their utter happiness around each other.
And if you were maybe thinking something happened after they got back, just maybe, then you have the pre-recordings happening just days ago telling us just the same - they are still drawn to each other, their interactions still same old Jikook interactions.
It’s like every single time we don’t get to see them there is this wave of insecurity, and “JK doesn’t look at JM the same”, “JK isn’t all over JM”, “JK doesn’t live JM anymore” (funny how it’s always JK the one not wanting JM anymore, isn’t it?).  JM and JK are super private people.  When they are off camera they want to be off camera.  Not to mention, and I am sick and tired of having to mention this yet again, being a closeted queer couple in an unaccepting society, with a very negative climate at the moment (have you seen what’s been going on with the Seoul pride parade?).  But the second they are back in front of the camera they just cannot hide it, and every single time said rumours are proven wrong. 
So no, I don’t think there is anything wrong with their relationship.  They are, as I said, fine and dandy.
Now to the Vlive:
I haven't seen the live. And definitely not translated, so I'm living on what you are writing and bits and pieces of information about what was said.
Do I have to remind you that we are talking about a friendship tattoo, one that all of the members have had done or are going to have done?
One that so far both NJ and Hobi have shown us themselves!
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And JIn also referred to his, almost showing it to us too.
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As for JM, from photos it seems that JM might have had it done on his left hand...
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He hasn’t told us though.
You say that JK "didn't know where JM's friendship tattoo is", but that’s not what JK said though.  As far as I understand JK mentioned RM’s, Hobi’s and Jin’s tattoos.  And then went “and where did Jimin hyung get his one again?”
So 3 members who have basically revealed their tattoos already and the fourth, JM, who hasn’t just yet.  JM who is a private person.  JM who will be the one to decide when and where to reveal it to us.
This isn’t JK’s story to tell us.  It’s JM’s.  And JK not telling us is him respecting that.
As it being a friendship tattoo JM isn’t hiding the tattoo from the others,  they know about it, he’s told them.  It’s not something JK would know about because of bf privileges.  
If we saw the tattoo already, granted by accident, but none the less, I can assure you that the rest of the members, all of them, have seen it already and know exactly where JM had it done.  Boyfriends or not, lol.  So even if JK was not romantically involved with JM he would know where said tattoo is.  Do you get that?  I hope you do.
Hence, JK not divulging where the tattoo is has zero to do with the question if they are a couple or not, and I do hope you’re not even hinting to JM and JK not being friends enough for JK to be one of those to know where JM’s tattoo is.  You aren’t, right?  Because even if you are hinting in your ask to believing they are no longer a couple, you wouldn’t be going down the path of them not being friends.  Nah-ah.  Nope.  
Btw JM himself kind of hinted to where his tattoo will be during the festa dinner.  Telling us where he would like to have it done...
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At the end not the pinky, but definitely on the inside.
So JK not telling us about JM’s tattoo is not about him not knowing where it is.  This is about JK realising this isn’t his story to tell us, respecting JM and letting him be the one to tell and show us the tattoo.
Those are my thoughts.  Take them or leave them.
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Here’s the intro post that no one asked for! Hopefully I’ll figure out how to pin it to the top 😆 💕🎉🤝🎭👻🐸📝🌱🖤🎶
Edit: adding a break because this post is so long. I ramble fyi
Scroll to the bottom for one of my favorite Ben interview answers 💕
Me
I am leading, yet again, with the fact that I am a child of the 80s friends, so please remember that. I won’t be posting any 18+ content, but it’s always good to know who you’re talking to online. My kids are on here and I want them any everyone to stay safe. That being said, always feel free to engage. Some days I’m chatty, somedays I’m a ghost
I’m a communications major, a writer, I work retail, and I volunteer. LGBTQ+ family. Pantheist. Leftist. My birthday is on Halloween. I have ridiculously shitty music taste. I love the rare times it rains here in AZ and would happily move somewhere where it rained all the time. I love space and good conversation and my kids more than anything. I live with bouts of depression and anxiety. I also picked up grief at a young age and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone
I have no creative links to share, but I do have a private portfolio, a music blog I abandoned, and an ao3 account that hasn’t been updated in yeeears
Fun stuff
This blog is 99% Ben Schwartz content. I love him. I respect the hell out of him. And he’s just so, so silly. I cherish the things that make me smile when it feels impossible. He’s also super cute?? The other 1% is the socialism that’s on the label. More on that later.
On Schwartz:
Favorite character: Anthony Scarapiducci (don’t ask me why, I still don’t know. So much of him is such a facade. Ben said Tony “wants to show that he's not just a piece of s*** and that what he's doing matters.” I’ll do a whole post on Tony someday ILHSM
Favorite movie: I am a huge Sonic fan (since the 90s!), so those movies are huge. Standing Up, Falling Down is way up there
What made me a fan: he’s always made me laugh, but sharing some videos with my kid had me falling down the IMDb rabbit hole. It’s hard to watch so much content in a row and not fall in love with the guy. I’m also a big fan of ridiculous stories with authentic characters. Give me a good work of fiction with the most believable people running around in it. Ben is so endearing that, no matter how over the top he is, I totally buy what he’s selling every single time. Plus I’m a big improv fan and that boy can sing, so whats not to love
I also randomly started tagging “any excuse for a Josh Bath gif” and have had a few people tell me they watched the Earliest Show because of that and I cannot explain how happy that made me
On Socialism:
Socialism is the framework of a government that takes care of its people. I could break off into facets of leftism and talk theory all day - but my stance is literally “take care of each other.” The phrase “from each according to their ability, to each according to their needs” (popularized by Karl Marx) means a lot to me, as does the Spanish idiom “hoy por ti, mañana por mi” (today you, tomorrow me). I volunteer with a kindness organization (feel free to ask me which one). I have been working together among local folks to build and strengthen mutual aid hubs in our communities. I also do water distro and deliver other Heat relief supplies to unsheltered folks
This space will not be used to preach (but I am an ordained minister if you’re needing one 😆), nor will or be used much to educate. The socialist side of this page is more about being actively present in the world I believe in
Tl;dr
I’m always up for meeting new comrades. Asks are open. Feel free to chat and also definitely tell me what your favorite favorite Schwartz moment is
And finally
I’ll leave you with this moment from Ben’s Mythical Kitchen Last Meal interview that I hope makes you smile
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jeffchats · 2 years
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Livestream Recap June 11, 2022.
He talks about some cancellations and replacements (Ryan Garcia cancelled and will be replaced by Sean O’Malley.) Talks about other things that are coming out with Tana and Mike.
He talks about how he addressed the issues with the last podcast on the new podcast. He apologizes for the autism episode and said he received messages about the autism episode. He was debating if he should delete the podcast and he got a message from his mom saying she loved the episode, Jeff had an uncle who had cerebral palsy. His mom says Steven is an idiot.
Talks about how he posted an Instagram story and then Todd posted one with similar captions. Talks about how he looks fast af when he wears those ugly glasses, lol. He is going to make his own version of those sunglasses. Merch is suppose to drop soon (orange hat, hot hits tshirt, hoodie and sweatsuit, classic jeff barbershop tshirt free shirt for godfathers but you have to pay shipping).
Talks about some UFC tonight with Valentina vs ???
They’re working on a documentary surrounding about the BTS with his products.
Jeff shares some of his music on his playlist. When he hears a song, he Shazams it, adds it to his playlist, listens to it for a week and he’s over it. He shows Running Up the Hill song from Stranger Things, Talking Heads, Iris by Goo Goo Dolls, Pusha T, and he goes on about how he hasn’t updated it.
Nerf peed on Oscars gear backpack that he just got. He left it on the floor.
Jeff hasn’t had many seizure scares.
He mentions that he hasn’t been on Tumblr since he brought it up but other people bring it to him who check it. He talks about how we are giving him a hard time about Georgie but she really wants to get him off all drugs and she doesn’t want him to do any drugs. He smokes weed sometimes but he went a week without it. “I know not everyone knows too much about her and I tried to share too much, she’s more of a private person. I learned my lesson from having a public relationship, not saying that we are boyfriend and girlfriend but you know I don’t even want to get that out there before it fucks anything up. I like that she’s been helping me out with my mental health and learning just help do exercises to fix my mind and not fucking drugs because for a while I was taking klonopin when I was stressed out and Ambien at night. It’s just not good man…straight up no more drugs for me…or who knows. I just got a bar of mushroom chocolates from my boy and it looks good.”
Georgie doesn’t match his intensity if everyday life, she thinks he’s nuts because when they went to Laguna he was running 10 miles a day on the beach but he loved it. She does exercise and hike but no one matches his intensity.
StevenWillDoIt assistant Dmed Steven and he got to his head and that’s all he would talk about on the Miami trip so Jeff had to check him.
Talks about Connor McGregor and his injury. Jeff mentions taking some stuff to help heal his eye and rebuild his muscle.
They lost their weatherman, he threw a fit and he’s done. He was jealous they were hanging out with Steven too much and he was upset. He’ll be back after his “little bitch fit”. Weather segment beef became real. Ryan is smart, talented, and he’s well-rounded. Jeff likes having him on the team.
Jeff has good days and bad days. He is excited for the UFC tonight. Vinnie Hacker episode there was a sponsor but that original sponsor went broke so he’s waiting for new sponsor to replace before Youtube. But it’s on Patreon and that’s “all he cares about..the cult”.
Talks about how people were upset he kissed Steven ???, he says it was acting. There was no tongue. He talks about the backstory of how the kiss came to be about. Steven pulled Jeff’s ass in for a more kiss and Jeff said that it wasn’t going to work with the joke.
He says he loves the support but sometimes gets stressed out with everyone checking him.
Jeff has been wearing shirts on his runs, doesn’t wear sunscreen yet, he got health insurance (Blue Cross), he’s going to make an appointment to get his questionable mole removed so he can be cancer free.
He did the Geiko show because it was Oscar’s idea.
Talks about maybe getting a PO Box for people to send gifts.
They sold out almost all of their hair products, they did 10,000 of each. New products ready in about a month.
He wasn’t in the mood to shoot when everyone cancelled and he felt like a loser. At the end of the day, he feels better when he comes in and shoots. He gets things done and is ahead of the schedule.
He is really passionate about his hair products and stuff.
People give suggestions about different quizzes he can do.
Someone mentions like a run meet up, hike, etc. Jeff wants to do it too.
Nerf is hanging in there and pissing on anything and everything.
He would love Doja Cat on the podcast but on paper Jeff isn’t the cleaniest guy.
Favorite G-Unit song is Eye for an Eye and then says theres too many.
He thinks Austin Butler is cool but a lil try hard.
He says things are complicated in terms of missing Todd and no communication is hard. He has them on mute and not unfollowed. He just didn’t want to see them partying and shit so he’s avoiding it and not looking at it. He doesn’t have beef with everybody but they’re all a pack and a cult of their own so it is what it is. He has good people in his life and it is weird when you cut out 80% of the people he use to hang out with.
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hime-memes · 1 year
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                                    • Assorted Nickelback Lyrics • 
Request: ‘ Could you write up some Nickelback lyric starters maybe?  ‘ - and, here they are anon ! I went with the classics. 
As always: These have been modified for cohesive and sensical use for the general RPC. Feel free to change anything within these that you see fit to make it work for your muse & the receiver’s muse !
Recommended For: Any muses/plots/timelines.
Trigger Warnings For: Swearing, Drug References, Alcohol references, Smoking, and Themes of addiction, NSFW material
‘ How You Remind Me ‘  “ Never made it as a wise man. “ “ I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing ... “ “ Tired of livin' like a blind man -- I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling ! “ “ This is how you remind me of what I really am. “ “ It's not like you to say sorry. “  “ I was waitin' on a different story ... “ “ This time I'm mistaken - for handing you a heart worth breakin' ! ”  " I've been wrong, I've been down -- Been to the bottom of every bottle. “ “ These five words in my head scream, ‘ Are we havin' fun yet ? ‘ “ “ It's not like you didn't know that. “ “ I said, ‘ I love you ‘, and I swear I still do ! “ “ It must have been so bad -- 'cause livin' with me must have damn near killed you. “  ‘ Far Away ‘ “ Too long, too late: Who was I to make you wait ? “ “ Just one chance, just one breath -- just in case there's just one left. “  “ 'Cause you know ... that I love you. “ “ I have loved you all along and, I miss you ! “  “ I’ve been far away, for far too long. “  “ I keep dreaming you'll be with me, and you'll never go. ”  “ I’ll stop breathing if I don't see you anymore. “ “ On my knees, I'll ask. “ “ It’s the last chance for one last dance ... “ “ 'Cause with you; I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand. “  “ I'd give it all; I'd give for us -- give anything, but I won't give up. “  “ And I forgive you for being away, for far too long. “ “ So keep breathing ... “ " I'm not leaving you anymore, so believe it. “ “ Hold on to me and never let me go ... “ ‘ Rockstar ‘ “ I'm through with standing in line to clubs I'll never get in ! “  “ --- It's like the bottom of the ninth, and I'm never gonna win. “ “ This life hasn't turned out quite the way I want it to be. “  “ I'll need a credit card that's got no limit. “ " I’ll need a big black jet with a bedroom in it - gonna join the mile high club at 37, 000 feet. “ “ I want my own star on Hollywood Boulevard: somewhere between Cher and James Dean is fine for me ! “  “ I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame ! ( I'd even cut my hair and changed my name ) ! “ “ 'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars ... “ “ The girls come easy, and the drugs come cheap. “ “ ... And we'll hang out in the coolest bars; ( In the V.I.P. ), with the movie stars. “ “ I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels ! “  “ I’ll hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes. “  “ I’ll sign a couple autographs, so I can eat my meals for free. “ “ I'm gonna dress my ass with the latest fashion. “  “ Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion, then gonna date a centerfold that loves to blow my money for me. “ “ We'll hide out in the private rooms. “ “ They'll get you anything with that evil smile. “  “ Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial. “  “ I'm gonna sing those songs that offend the censors ! “  “ I’m gonna pop my pills from a Pez dispenser. “ “ I'll get washed-up singers writing all my songs, then lip sync 'em every night, so I don't get 'em wrong ! ” ‘ If Today Was Your Last Day ‘  “ My best friend gave me the best advice: He said, ‘ Each day's a gift, and not a given right ! ‘ " “ Leave no stone unturned, and leave your fears behind. “ “ Try to take the path less traveled by; that first step you take is the longest stride ! “  “ If today was your last day, and tomorrow was too late -- could you say goodbye to yesterday ? ”  “ Would you live each moment like your last ? “ “ Leave old pictures in the past ... “ “ Donate every dime you have. “ “ Against the grain should be a way of life ! “ “ What's worth the prize is always worth the fight. “ “ Every second counts, 'cause there's no second try -- so, live it like you're never livin' twice. “ “ Don't take the free ride in your own life. “  “ Would you call old friends you never see ? Reminisce old memories ? “ “ Would you forgive your enemies ? -- Could you ? “ " Would you find that one you're dreamin' of ? “ “ Swear up and down to God above: That you'll ‘ finally fall in love ‘. “  “ Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart ? “ “ You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars, regardless of who you are ! “  “ So do whatever it takes, 'cause you can't rewind a moment in this life. “  “ Let nothin' stand in your way, ‘cause the hands of time are never on your side. “  ‘ Someday ‘ “ How the hell'd we wind up like this ?! “  “ Why weren't we able to see the signs that we missed ? “ “ Then try and turn the tables ! “  “ I wish you'd unclench your fists, and unpack your suitcase. “  “ Lately there's been too much of this ! ( But, don't think it's too late ) ! “  “ Nothing's wrong just as long as you know that someday I will ... “ “ Someday, somehow ... I'm gonna make it alright but, not right now. “ “ I know you're wondering when; and you're the only one who knows that. “  “ Well, I'd hope that since we're here anyway; we could end up saying things we've always needed to say. “ “ Now the story's played out like this, ( just like a paperback novel ! ), but let's rewrite an ending that fits -- instead of a Hollywood horror. “ 
‘ Gotta Be Somebody ‘ “ I wonder what it feels like to find the one in this life; The one we all dream of but, dreams just aren't enough ! “  “ I'll be waiting for the real thing; I'll know it by the feeling ! ”  “ The moment when we're meeting will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen ... “ “ So I'll be holding my breath -- right up 'til the end -- until that moment when I find the one that I'll spend forever with. “  “ 'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there. “  “ ... 'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares ! “  “ Someone to love with my life in their hands;  there's gotta be somebody for me like that ! “ “ 'Cause nobody wants to go it on their own, and everyone wants to know they're not alone ! “  “ ... There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere ... “  “ There's gotta be somebody for me out there ! “  “ Tonight: out on the street, out in the moonlight ...dammit, this feels too right ! “  “ It's just like déjà vu -- Me, standing here with you. “  “ I'll be holding my breath, could this be the end ? Is it that moment when I find the one that I'll spend forever with ?! “ 
‘ Next Contestant ‘  “ I judge by what she's wearing, just how many heads I'm tearing off of assholes coming on to her ... “ “ ( Each night seems like it's getting worse ) ! ” " I wish she'd take the night off - So I don't have to fight off every asshole coming on to her. “ “ It happens every night she works. “  “ They'll go and ask the DJ, ( find out just what would she say ). “ “ ... Don't they know it's never gonna work ? “ “ This time somebody's getting hurt ! “ “ Here comes the next contestant ... “ “ Is that your hand on my girlfriend ? “ “ I wish you'd do it again ... I'll watch you leave here limping. “ “ I even fear the ladies: They're cool, but twice as crazy ! “  “ Everyone keeps coming onto her ... “ “ I'm hating what she's wearing. “  “ Everybody here keeps staring -- “  “ ... Can't wait 'till they get what they deserve ! “  ‘ Photograph ‘ “ Look at this photograph ! Every time I do, it makes me laugh ... “  “ How did our eyes get so red ? “ “ ... And what the hell is on [Name]'s head ? “ “ This is where I grew up ! ( I think the present owner fixed it up ) ! “  “ I never knew we'd ever went without. “  “ The second floor is hard for sneaking out. “  “ This is where I went to school ... most of the time I had better things to do. “  “ My criminal record says I broke in twice, I must have done it half a dozen times ... “ “ Life's better now than it was back then. “ “ If I was them, I wouldn't let me in ! “  “ Oh, God, I ... “ “ Every memory of looking out the back door ... “ “ I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor. “ “ It's hard to say it, time to say it: Goodbye. “ “ Every memory of walking out the front door ... “ “ I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for ! “  “ Remember the old arcade ? -- Blew every dollar that we ever made ! “  “ The cops hated us hangin' out; They say, ‘ Somebody went and burned it down ‘ ! “  “ We used to listen to the radio and sing along with every song we know. “  “ We said, ‘ Someday we'd find out how it feels to sing to more than just the steering wheel ‘ ! " “ [Name]'s the first girl I kissed; I was so nervous that I nearly missed ! “  “ They've had a couple of kids since then -- I haven't seen them since God knows when. “ “ I miss that town, I miss the faces ... ! “ “ You can't erase, you can't replace it ... “ “ I miss it now; I can't believe it ! “ “ So hard to stay, too hard to leave it ... “ “ If I could relive those days - I know the one thing that would never change ... “ ‘ If Everyone Cared ‘ “ From underneath the trees; we’d watch the sky ... confusing stars for satellites. “ “ I never dreamed that you'd be mine -- But, here we are: we're here tonight. “ “ If everyone cared and nobody cried, everyone loved and nobody lied ... If everyone shared and swallowed their pride ? ... Then we'd see the day, when nobody died. “ “ And in the air ? The fireflies ... our only light in paradise. “ “ We'll show the world they were wrong ! “ “ ... And as we lie beneath the stars, we realize how small we are. “ “ If they could love like you and me ? ... Imagine what the world could be ... “
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flowering-enigmas · 2 years
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Thoughts on Dream’s Priv Voice message regarding the SMP
First of all, before anyone gets worried, I’m very /pos about this. If you don’t know what I am talking about, Dream posted a voice message on his private not to long ago regarding the future of the SMP. I’m sure there will be other accounts who can summarize it better than I can or reposts of it but in very short, the Dream SMP is coming back and continuing. There isn’t going to be a full reset but according to Dream there will be a “world altering” event and new relationship dynamics. He has talked to everyone on the SMP and everyone (save from 1 or 2 people he hasn’t spoken to yet) is hyped and onboard with whatever is happening.
He also mentioned what was happening with Techno’s character but I will put that at the end under a read more in case people need it. So, my thoughts. I have been in the Dream SMP fandom almost since the beginning. I have watched Dream on Youtube since 2019 and kept up with the SMP since just after L’manburg in 2020. As me and most of the fandom have noticed, it has been in kind of a lull recently. Dream said that this is partially due to people losing interest because they already have a lot done on the server.  I was originally torn on what was going to happen because while I felt like it needed a fresh start, it would be sad to see a lot of important structures be just, gone. (Can you tell I’m a Foolish main?) I don’t know exactly what they have planned but it seems like there is going to be preservation to the past while also allowing for new and exciting plans. It is also nice that they recognize lore as an important part of the server and to us. Overall I’m just really happy that they took the time to create a solution that works for everyone involved and includes us as well. I can’t wait to see streamers hyped about the server again and I can’t wait to see what plans they have for the story! Techno part 
Dream mentioned that he spoke to Techno’s father the other night and that he (Techno’s father) might do something on the SMP for charity. Other than that, they don’t have plans to do anything with Techno’s character and that it would be up to “Techno’s family and closest friends”  I miss Techno greatly, but I also know the SMP and it’s lore was a big thing for him. I think he would want the story to continue and would call us cringe if we let it die with him.  After all Technoblade never dies and neither does his story.
That being said my heart goes out to all his friends and family, I can’t imagine it will be easy continuing the story without him and I wish them all the love. 
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deepest0thoughts · 2 years
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I finally created this blog after feeling a little lost after an encounter I had today.
I messaged an old friend who I haven’t spoken to in 7 years. Man I’m getting old 😭. We were kids at the time, but we had a falling out at the end of the school year that involved what I can now see as him blaming everything that sucked in his life on me. I was and still am a very relaxed person who allows people to walk all over me because I’m honestly afraid of people disliking me otherwise. I was the perfect person for him to take his frustration out on. At the time I did feel partially responsible though. We took a class that was so small they were like private lessons. And that teacher clearly favoured me and didn’t give much attention to him. Maybe I should’ve spoken up, but I was too content being the teacher’s pet or I was just a kid and I didn’t know I could.
Long story short, for the rest of the school year, we went from being good friends to ignoring and avoiding each other. It felt pretty bad. After we graduated, I’ve seen him a handful of times at school events and friend gatherings, but I have not seen or messaged him since 2015. Today on his birthday, I felt like it was time to message him. We never properly ended our friendship and I always wondered how he was doing on the back of my mind. And I figured there have been enough years between us for him to be able to have a brief conversation with me.
Well I guess he didn’t, because he replied in the coldest way he could have without sounding rude. He said thanks and he hoped me and my sister were doing alright. No how are you, just that. But me, him, and my sister were a trio in 2012-2013/14. He called my sister ‘your sister’ even though he knew damn well who she is. I might be over analyzing, but from that brief response alone, I could gather that he did not wish to speak with me. I thanked him and wished him the best and that was that.
Do you know how underwhelming it is to think about someone you haven’t seen or heard from for over 7 years only for them to reply like that? I’m leaving some parts out, but back in 2012, we had the kind of friendship where we found comfort in each other. We were close. And it didn’t help that I liked him (cringe) and I know he liked me back.
I haven’t met pretty much any men in the past 7 years so when I think about romance, he still pops into my head. I can’t say that I’ve liked him this whole time still, but it wasn’t like he meant nothing to me. He’s one of the things that brings me the most sadness when I think of my childhood. Yet when it comes to crushes, no one else has been able to top the feelings I had for him. And I thought of him for 7 years. And I learned today he still hasn’t let go of that part of his life. He still holds some sort of resentment for that class and those years of his life. The bullying was pretty bad for him then.
I just wanted to know how he was doing. But all I’m left with is disappointment. And unfulfillment.
But I think it’s time to let this go. Move on as I’ve been told. He’s been a shadow on my life for so long now. But I feel like he’s finally left. This was the closure I needed. If he doesn’t want anything to do with me, that’s his choice.
Hopefully he’ll stop showing up in my dreams and intruding my thoughts when I’m lonely.
I just needed to get this out. And I need to get out more fr.
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angel-biter · 3 years
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not to exclusively complain on here but my ex who tried to manipulate me to get in my pants when I was 15 bc he fetishized trans ppl just friended me on snapchat on a new acc after I blocked his old one 😀 cool! I don’t know what to do here!
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tokrev-roses · 3 years
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Bang Bang, Kiss Kiss
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First Kiss HC
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: None, mention of cliché teen-romance tropes
Characters: Manjiro Sano, Ken Ryuguji, Chifuyu Matsuno, Keisuke Baji
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❧ Manjiro Sano (Mikey)
Your first kiss with Mikey would be the worst day of your life
I mean it. You even thought about moving countries afterwards
You see…Mikey is not the easiest person to be in a relationship with
You would have to initiate most of the “normal” relationship stuff
And taking the first step with someone like Mikey can be intimidating
Depending on the situation you are in he might even stop you and your attempts, e.g., when you try anything in the middle of a Toman meeting. He has no problem calling you out
So, you would have to plan it beforehand and get the timing right
You would have to be alone, like after he took you out on his bike. A quiet moment where he is your Mikey completely and not Toman’s invincible leader
A warm summer night sounds just perfect, doesn’t it?
you gather all your courage, sweaty palms, shaky breath, every possible emotion and thought in your racing mind
You’d both be leaning against his bike, watching the night sky when you turn towards him, take his face between your palms, giving him a soft peck.
Your initial determination crumbled when he did not respond the slightest. He was frozen in place and a million and one different things went through your head, with the conclusion that you’d have to convince your parents to move out of Tokyo
Thinking your life was over, you turned around to run away, like the girls in your typical teen-movies, but something or someone kept you in place
You hadn’t noticed him holding your wrist, so your only way of escaping the situation was to look away
Mikey didn’t understand why you’d kiss him only to run away afterwards
He didn’t really know what to do next, cue to him giving you a peck that reflected yours, short and sweet
now you were both speechless
„Ahh, I’m sleepy.“
“What?”
That’s how he lightened the situation
You never talked about it afterwards, but little pecks in private became a ritual for you two
❧ Ken Ryuguji
your first kiss would happen sometime after you started dating
as I have states before, I do think Ken has both, experience and maturity, so he would be in no rush at all and give you full control of the pace your relationship develops
but he is good at reading you, so he understands when you are ready depending on the signals you give him
let’s say he brought you home after a late-night adventure (walking through shibuya and enjoying the atmosphere, yes please)
when it is time to say goodbye, you would give him the usual hug, wrists locked behind neck while standing on your tiptoes
he hugs you back, arms around your waist and his head on yours
you could have stood there for hours, but as all good things, even this one had to end. so you let go of each other, slowly.
your hands barely hold onto his shoulder, you can't stop looking into each others eyes, a fond smile on his lips, your reddened cheeks, that would be the moment for the both of you
you meet in the middle, your lips on his upper lip, while he kissed your lower lip
he holds you up, even lifts you a bit, since the pure ecstasy of the moment makes your legs all wobbly
best boy to have your first kiss with, will make you feel so comfortable and loved
when you both let go you once again can’t help but stare at each other (the loving way) and there is no reason for any of you to be embarrassed, so there is no shame between you, only fondness
❧ Chifuyu Matsuno
Inexperienced, but eager to try and willing to learn, that’s Chifuyu for you
Small steps to test the water, to find out, if you want him to kiss you and because forehead, cheek and nose kisses are not as hard as kisses on the lips
His very first physical interaction with you would be hand holding, once you made it through that, cheek kisses will follow shortly
Would happily accept you to be the one initiating it, but has no problem doing it himself. He doesn’t see cheek kisses as a “girls only” thing. 
It is a sign of affection, but would use it as a way to make the whole matter more playful, e.g., to tease you in front of your friends
Forehead kisses as a sign of his support and to comfort you, nose kisses to make you laugh
Plans to make your first kiss romantic and enjoyable for you...
Only for it to happen on accident while he tried to tease you with a cheek kiss
You noticed him behind you, but you were in a conversation with your friend
Your back to his chest, you thought he would rest his head on your shoulder, like he usually does, so you planned to greet him with the obligatory cheek kiss
Problem was, he planned to do the same
Long story short, you were met with soft lips and the very surprised face of your Chifuyu
The situation was so funny, your friend had to turn around to stop herself from laughing, since the both of you stood there, frozen in place, staring at each other and it was the most unromantic moment ever
Yet no one moved
Until the both of you broke out into laughter at the same time
It started with an embarrassed chuckle and turned into holding-my-stomach-because-of-the-pain laughter
“You should have seen yourself, looking like a frog.”
“Says the one who stared at me like a fish out of water”
 ❧ Keisuke Baji
Baji is the type to do something before thinking about it, so it would be that way with your first kiss as well
Wouldn’t know what to do at all – when, where, how, its a mystery to him
He sees it like a battle he needs to get over with to reach the next level, and after enough teasing from his friends, who have more experience than he does, he would finally do it
At the worst possible moment, of course
Like, right in the middle of the school hallway or just before an important exam
Because Keisuke Baji is determined to do things once he has made up his mind about them, no matter what
A loud “Oi” would make you (and many other people around you) turn around
He aims straight for you, long steps, flowing hair, a determined gaze – kinda scary and kinda attractive
One deep breath once he stood in front of you, before he lowered his head and just went for it
Your first kiss was far from what you imagined it to be
Keisuke put way too much force into it, simply pressing his lip on yours like it would do the job, while holding your arms to keep you in place
He pressed his eyes together while you looked at him with yours wide open, completely taken by surprise
It would end as soon as it happened, him removing his lips from yours, freeing you from your trap
You’re both speechless, and that was the moment Baji noticed your surroundings and your visible surprise for the first time
He blushed like a little boy
And hated himself for it
Cue to him trying to leave the scene, with you, of course
Since it happened very early in your relationship (or even before you entered said relationship) it was an interesting experience for the both of you
was way more uncomfortable than you were after realizing what he did, and, god, did he look cute, being all bashful
Like a little schoolboy, your little schoolboy
He fully blames his friend for the outcome (and might even beat them up, playfully)
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what do you think of this? I’m not as satisfied as I hoped to be when I first began writing this...I don’t know...Are they out of character? Am I too insecure? I’m so sorry if this hasn’t turned out too good.
Rosalie🌹
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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years
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Tastes Like Strawberries - Harry Styles
a/n: oh this one is a long boi and might not be the end??? i’ve been working on this fic for days and i have an idea for a possible second part, but i wrote this one so it has a fulfilling ending so it can stand as a oneshot as well! i barely just started working on the sequel, we’ll se how it’ll turn out, maybe it goes to shit lmao but whatever, it’s still a nice and whole story without a second part! this is my V-day gift to you all, have this nice professor!harry fic as if it was a box of chocolate! 🍓 🍫 🍬
special thanks to @pastequeharry​ who put up with my constant rambling and whining while i was writing this, you are a hero, his is dedicated to you!!
pairing: professor!Harry x Reader
warning: sexual content, abusing relationship, it’s got smut, angst, lot’s of banter and all that jazz!
word count: 21.4k
masterlist
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There’s just a handful of things to know about Professor Harry Styles and that’s because of one of those very few known facts, the first one being that he is a highly private person. He rarely talks about himself or any aspects of his life, he always makes sure to keep it as professional as possible whenever he is teaching.
Second, he is easily the smartest professor to ever walk on campus, but he doesn’t like to brag about it. You never catch him showing off how much he knows, how big of a genius he is, you’ll just start to realize from the way he teaches and approaches certain topics, how he interacts with others and tries to pass his knowledge down to his students. He is brilliant and he should have all the credits for it, yet he still chooses to keep it to himself.
Third, and it’s the most well-known fact because to see this you just need to have a pair of eyes, he is undeniably the most handsome man to ever teach or if you’re being more precise, walk the hallways of the university. No football crazy, alcoholic fratboy or dreamy looking indie guy from the library can live up to what Professor Harry Styles is. With a face clearly carved by the angels, a nicely built but not too muscular frame, and occasionally displayed tattooed arm that makes you wonder what other artworks his stylish outfits are hiding, there’s no man like him and every female on campus agrees with that.
His lectures and courses are jampacked with sighing and heart-eyed college girls, daydreaming about the man who is solemnly just trying to teach the things he is so passionate about. But it’s not just the students, Professor Styles has managed to charm the female professors of all faculties, you can see them wander by his office way too often, they take any opportunity to talk to the man and try to seduce him. It’s unknown if he is oblivious to the effect he has on women or he chooses to ignore every and any attempts, but this is what leads us to the fourth fact.
Despite all the effort and energy that’s been put into his case by every single woman on campus to break the walls the professor has built around himself, he never let any of his students or colleagues to even think they could be romantically linked for real. Professor Styles keeps his distance and turns down any offer that could be mistaken to anything that doesn’t fit in the professional boundaries.
Anytime a student puts on the slightest flirtatious act towards the professor, he either rejects it straight away or ignores it completely and blatantly, making it his clear answer that he is not interested and then he goes back to teaching. You’ve seen it yourself, having him as one of your professors first year of uni, you fell for him just like every other girl in the lecture hall, dreaming about him in ways you probably shouldn’t think of a teacher while he was just casually talking about his grading system and how he is going to build up the lectures throughout the semester. Some brave girls who you assume were highly celebrated by boys in high school took the courage to openly flirt with him, but he didn’t even flinch before shutting all attempts down, not even a blush appeared on his perfectly cut cheekbones.
You thought of ways you’d try to seduce him yourself, but you never actually tried. You never had the balls to actually give it a go and then suffer from the worst embarrassment of your life when he rejects you. So you kept it all to yourself, only entertaining yourself with your elaborate plans about the seduction of your professor.
Second year passed without any classes with Professor Styles, you had only occasionally seen him come and go, rushing down the hallways holding his notebooks to his chest, a steaming cup of coffee in his other hand as he was heading to his lecture hall that you just knew was filled with girls. You always took a moment to yourself to admire his outfit. He has a tendency to pair odd items and make them look like the most put together fit ever that only he can pull off. However, you and your girlfriends always loved to tease him between each other for his grandpa-like sweaters and vests he seemed to love dearly.
“He confuses me, because I want him to fuck me on his desk but also, I feel like he is about to ask me what periodt means because he is too old to understand slang these days,” your friend, Nat said once when your little group was lounging under the huge oak tree between classes and the professor rushed past you, disappearing in the building without paying any of you a look. He wore a pair of beige slacks and a striped sweater, a wrinkly grey shirt peeking from under it at the bottom. The colors and the style overall once again gave you that old people feeling, but then you looked at his handsome face and couldn’t care any less about whatever he was wearing.
The most intimate way you ever saw him was a few days after your twenty-first birthday the summer before your last year of uni started. You just got back from your hometown, the first person to arrive back to your shared flat with Nat and Eden, so you had a few days on your own. You decided to redecorate your room so you took a trip to IKEA, taking your time looking through the set up rooms, just wandering around as you try to figure out what you really want to buy. Walking through the living room section you spotted the professor and first, you didn’t even recognize him.
He was wearing a pair of bright yellow shorts and a short sleeved shirt with floral prints on it, a pair of white framed sunglass on top of his head, keeping his unruly strands out of his face as he was eyeing a couch, seemingly deep in his thoughts. You stopped in your tracks, seeing him in such a casual and everyday setting. For some reason, he seemed like a completely different person.
A woman was there with him and as you walked closer you could hear a fraction of their discussion.
“I don’t know, Gems. Do I need a couch this big?”
“Looks comfy and I like the color. It would also fit in the space just right, I think you should get the bigger one if you have the space for it,” the woman put her two cents in and you wondered who she could be. Girlfriend? Just a casual friend? Maybe fiancé? She did have a ring that could easily go as an engagement ring so you couldn’t tell for sure.
As you were about to walk past you suddenly took the courage to say hi.
“Hello, Professor Styles!” you greeted him with a warm smile and his eyes flickered over to you from the couch in question. One thing you always admired about him is that he never forgot the faces of his students and as he looked at you, you knew he recognized you even if he didn’t know your name specifically.
“Oh, hello,” he nodded in your way.
“I like the couch,” you commented before slowly moving on. “Have a nice rest of your summer!”
“You too, Y/N,” he called after you and it took you by surprise that he remembered your name. Your lecture he taught had almost over a hundred students in it and you weren’t the most active one to stand out that easily, yet he still remembered you more than you were expecting.
That small encounter kept you thinking about him for way longer than you probably should have, especially because you knew you’d have a lecture with him again in the upcoming semester. Your daydreams about him made their way back into your mind as you spent the last days of your summer mostly with your friends. It got you thinking that if you managed to get him to remember your name, maybe you would give one of your plans a go and shoot your shot. He wouldn’t be teaching you in your last semester so you wouldn’t have to face him after he rejects you.
And this is how you came up with your little scheme.
On your last Sunday evening before school starts, you, Nat and Eden sit in the floor of your living room, drinking some white wine as a way of saying goodbye to the carefree summer moments and getting back to the working days of being a senior at uni. Professor Styles came up completely randomly and you let it slip that you’ve just seen him recently at IKEA with a woman and it all led to you admitting that you’ll finally shoot your shot at the professor. Nat and Eden both did the same already, however their attempts were completely ignored and they always bugged you to give it a try yourself, being the only one in your group who hasn’t tried to seduce the professor yet.
“I’ll tell you, but you can’t tell me it’s stupid because I actually think it’ll be funny and a little bit genius,” you tell them before you start sharing the details on your plan.
“Just spill the beans already!” Eden pokes you before she reaches for the bottle and refills her glass.
“Okay, so you both know I took this psychology class last semester for extra credits, right?” The nod and you continue. “The teacher told us about this thing called classical conditioning or they call it pavlovian response too. The guy, Pavlov, did an experiment where he paired the feeding of dogs with a bell ring and after a certain amount of time the dogs started salivating at just the sound of the bell, because they remembered that it’s connected to food. The teacher said this is literally one of the easiest tricks to pull on people.”
“Oh, isn’t this one of the things Jim did on Dwight in The Office?” Nat asks furrowing her eyebrows.
“It is!” you nod, glad that they are understanding the base of your plan. “So, I’ve heard that Professor Styles loves strawberry flavored candies. I thought that I would bring some every day when I see him and offer him some. Slowly, he’ll pair the candy with the thought of me and he’ll get excited when he sees me because he’ll think I have candy for him and it will hopefully work the other way around and he’ll think of me when he is eating strawberry flavored candy that’s not from me.”
Your friends blink at you for a moment, processing what you just shared with them before Eden takes a huge sip of her drink.
“This is the most ridiculous but also the most genius thing I’ve ever heard,” she nods holding her glass up towards you.
“I can’t believe you will pull a psychological experiment on Professor Styles,” Nat shakes her head with a soft chuckle.
“It’s not a blunt way to get closer to him and if he accuses me of trying to flirt I can just say that I’ve been only sharing candy with him, I literally did nothing,” you point out, pretty proud of your solution to your deep fear of having to take his rejection publicly.
“If you get a Noble for this shit, make sure to thank us in your speech,” Eden laughs and you promise to do so when the big moment comes.
Monday morning you make a quick trip to Target and buy a big bag of strawberry flavored candies, probably enough to last for the whole semester, and then you make your way to campus. Following your first lecture you meet up with Eden who also signed up for Professor Styles’ lecture this semester, so the two of you make your way towards the lecture hall together.
“I really can’t believe you are doing this,” she chuckles when you get the candy ready as you near the room. The professor is always the first one in the lecture hall so you know you’ll find him there already.
“You can’t tell me it’s not a funny plan,” you smirk at her. And just as you walk in, you immediately spot the professor sitting at the desk at the front, going over the syllabus before the start. “Save a seat for me,” you tell Eden who just laughs and makes her way up the stairs along the desks.
Grabbing the pack of sweets from your bag you walk up to the professor, feeling confident with your plan. He lifts his head up when he notices your arrival and your eyes meet with his green ones.
“Hello, professor. Would you like some candy?” you simply ask with an innocent smile.
Professor Styles stares at you for a moment before his eyes move down to the candy in your hand, the opening of the bag facing him in a welcoming manner.
“I, uhh… what flavor?” he curiously asks and you can barely push down your smirk.
“Strawberry.”
“Oh. I’ll… take one, thank you,” he nods, hand reaching into the bag as he grabs just one single candy, unwrapping the package before he pops it into his mouth. “Thank you,” he nods again with a delightful smile.
“Of course. Did you buy the couch?” you ask, taking slow steps away from the desk as he keeps his eyes on you.
“I… did not. Bought another one,” he admits shortly and you know you’ve reached the limit. If you ask more, he’ll get suspicious, so you just nod smiling before walking up to the spot Eden has reserved for you. When you sit down, you catch the professor paying you one last glance before he returns to what he was previously doing.
“You are a genius, because now we can watch him suck on a fucking candy for the next few minutes,” Eden mumbles quietly, making you laugh.
“I knew this would be a good plan,” you sigh, satisfied with the work you’ve done. Now it’s just a matter of time.
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Every Monday and Wednesday, you arrive with the same bag of candy to the lecture hall, walk up to Professor Styles and offer him one. And he always takes one. The first few times he seems hesitant when he spots you approaching him, but he slowly grows used to your tiny act of kindness that occurs every time you see him. On week three you expand the plan. You usually have lunch with Nat on Thursdays since you both have a break between one and two pm. The two of you try to take advantage of the warm early autumn days and sit under the pergola that’s near the building where Professor Styles’ office is as well. It’s mere coincidence, you only like that place because it’s close to the lecture hall you have to go to after lunch, but you notice that the professor emerges from Building C around one thirty, walking back to his office probably after one of his classes. The sidewalk runs directly next to the pergola so it gives you a chance to bring the candy out one more time every week. You nicely greet him when he is nearing the two of you and then hold out the bag, asking if he wants some. He always takes one and thanks you with a sweet smile that leaves you a tad bit blushed.
“I can’t fucking believe your plan is working,” Nat chuckles in disbelief on one occasion when the professor just disappeared in the building, probably happily unwrapping his candy of the day.
“It’s funny, innit?” you grin at her proudly.
Frankly, this is just a fun experiment for you. You don’t actually think that the professor will think of you differently even the slightest. You might be able to plant the thought of you in his head, but that doesn’t instantly mean that he’ll start fancying you and actually do something about it. It would be ridiculously naïve to think it’s going to be you who breaks through the wall that hundreds of women had already tried to knock down.
Week six is what brings the breakthrough. After long consideration and discussion with Nat and Eden, you decide to test if the experiment has been successful. You offer one last candy on Monday, but Wednesday brings the change. You go to lecture without candy. Well, you have it on you, but you decide not to ask him if he wants some.
Walking into the lecture hall, as always, he is already sitting at his desk, flipping through the pages of a book when you walk up to him with the intention of asking him a question on the paper that’s due next week.
“Professor Styles?” you softly speak up, catching his attention. “Can I have a question about the paper?”
“Of course,” he nods and you can’t tell just yet if he was expecting the candy or not.
“I was wondering if I can use a diagram to visualize my results at the end. I have a brilliant idea to summarize the data with one.”
“Sure, just make sure to give credit wherever it’s due, if you are using someone else’s work for the diagram.”
“Definitely,” you smile at him and wait a moment. That’s where you see the anticipation in his eyes.
His gaze flickers down to your hands and then to your bag where you always carry the candy and when his eyes meet yours again, you see him swallow hard.
He was expecting the candy. Not only expecting, but he started salivating when he saw you, thinking that he would get the candy from you as always.
“Is… that all?” he asks, the slightest hint of hope appearing in his tone, probably waiting for you to pull the bag of candy out of your bag and offer him one. But it’s not happening today.
“Yes, thank you very much,” you nod smiling widely before you turn around and walk away, a shocked and triumphant look appearing on your face once he can’t see it anymore and when Eden sees you, she gasps.
“He fucking expected the candy, didn’t he?!” she whispers at you in shock and you nod frantically, still not believing your plan worked.
“You should have seen the anticipation in his eyes, he really thought I was gonna offer him some!”
“Oh my God, this is hilarious!” Eden laughs covering her mouth as the lecture hall starts to fill up slowly.
Turning forward, you see that the professor is sitting behind his desk, the book that had his attention before your arrival is long forgotten in front of him, now he is staring ahead of him with slightly furrowed eyebrows, deep in his thoughts.
Is he thinking about you? Or why he was expecting candy from you?
You see him reach for his water bottle and he takes two big gulps probably to wash away his need for the candy before he narrows his eyes and at last they find you in the auditorium. You tilt your head to the side innocently smiling, as if you know absolutely nothing about anything. You keep eye-contact, forcing you not to be the one who breaks it and he is intimidating. You feel like he can read your mind as he stares at you and when he finally turns his gaze back at the book, you exhale sharply.
The lecture goes down just as usual and when the professor dismisses the class you decide to put the cherry to the top. Walking down between the desks you grab a candy from your bag and while the professor is talking to a girl who also had a question about the paper, you place the candy to his desk next to his book. He doesn’t see you walk out and you don’t see him when he finds it, but something is telling you he figured you out. No way a man as smart as him doesn’t realize what game you’ve been playing with him.
Sitting under the pergola on Thursday you are deep in discussion with Nat, helping her with a task sheet she has to turn in after lunch but she completely forgot about it. As the two of you are trying to do the seemingly endless sheet, you don’t even notice the professor walking from Building C, as always, but he spots you.
“No, I don’t think that’s even a thing, you can’t write that,” you tell Nat, but she shakes her head.
“I don’t care if it’s a thing, I just want to fill in the whole thing so the teacher doesn’t think I finished it in twenty minutes before class,” she mumbles, scribbling down her answer as you just chuckle at her.
Suddenly, you see a pair of dusty Vans appear in your sight and as your eyes move up, you are facing none other than Professor Styles, standing right in front of you, holding out his hand with his hand turned upwards, a cheeky smile tugging on his lips. His appearance takes you by surprise and for a moment you just dumbly stare down at his palm, then up at his eyes.
“Very smart. Pulling a pavlovian on me with my favorite candy,” he speaks up, dropping his hand as he cocks his head to the side. Nat looks up from her sheet with wide eyes as you stare at the professor with blushing cheeks.
“I have no idea what you are talking about, professor,” you tell him with a knowing smirk.
“Of course. You know, it took me a moment to realize yesterday, but I wanted to let you know that… I think it was clever.”
“If I knew anything about what you’re talking about… I would say thank you. But I stand up for my innocence.”
“Surely,” he chuckles softy. “Have a great rest of your week,” he then nods before turning around to walk away, but you quickly reach into your bag and grab a candy.
“Professor Styles!” you call out and he turns back just in time to catch the candy you throw in his way. He glances at it in his palm before his eyes snap up to you again, smirking at you shortly before he disappears in the building.
“Okay, call me stupid, but I could feel the sexual tension between the two of you,” Nat says as soon as the professor is out of sight.
“Don’t be silly, it was just… a joke and he liked it.”
“He called you clever, Y/N!”
“No, he called my trick clever.”
“But you came up with it so you’re clever too. Say whatever you want, but I actually think you have a shot at him.”
“I definitely don’t,” you laugh shaking your head and you genuinely believe it. Nat scoffs before she gets back to her sheet, but not without having one last thought about the situation.
“We’ll be laughing at how you brainwashed him into liking you when you’ll be dating for years, living together and all that shit.”
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You’ve made some very questionable choices in your dating life prior. Like when you dated a boy in high school and let him take your virginity at the back of his mom’s minivan just to break up with your right after that, or when you briefly dated the guy you met at the mall, but it later turned out he was gay and he used you as his cover up in front of his family. But the worst decision of all was dating an egoistic forty years old loser who just freshly got divorced and went after you at some tacky bar you were at with your friends.
The time you spent dating Victor is way less than the time he has been bothering you, trying to make you go back to him when you’ve actually told him you don’t want anything to do with him anymore. You broke up with him just before you went home for the summer and he didn’t take it well, even drove up to your hometown and showed up at your parents’ house drunk, begging for you to take him back. He never stood a chance, not after that one time he slapped you across the face during a fight the two of you had. You tolerate a lot of things but not violence and you don’t believe him when he says it was just a onetime thing. There’s no guarantee he won’t hit you ever again and you are definitely not waiting around to see if he told you the truth.
On this particular late October evening you are searching through your whole room looking for a book you know you have, but can’t seem to find anywhere. It’s your holy bible about research methodology and you need it for your thesis work, but it seems like the small apartment has completely swallowed it.
“Didn’t you leave it at Victor’s? You were working on that long essay when you were dating him, saw you use the book all the time,” Eden tells you when you ask her if she’s seen it anywhere and then it clicks.
She is right, now you remember leaving the book at his once and you completely forgot to pick it up after things got nasty between the two of you.
“Damn it,” you growl in annoyance.
Not feeling like calling him, you send him a quick text, hoping he still has it and hasn’t burned it after one of your fights.
Y/N: Hey, I think I left my research methodology book at yours. You still have it?
Victor: I do.
Y/N: Cool, can I drop by to pick it up?
Victor: I’m leaving for work, you can come to the bar if you want it.
You sigh in defeat. Victor is a bartender at a place that’s all the way across town, takes almost an entire hour to get there, but you are left with no other choice.
Y/N: Okay, I’ll see you there.
The raining has finally stopped this morning so you feel better leaving the house than you would have if it was still pouring. You take the bus and travel across town, feeling anxious to see Victor again. Last time you met him he cursed you out and threw his phone at you, barely missing your head. You promised yourself you wouldn’t go near him again after that, but it seems like you can never get completely rid of him.
Students rarely come to this part of the town, it’s way too far from campus and has nothing to offer that can’t be found closer to the dormitories or the school’s buildings. It’s not entirely your scene either, the bars around here are liked by older generations, not by people your age, this is another reason why you don’t like coming around here.
The bar where Victor works is a place where they have different local bands perform every Friday and Saturday. It’s not a tacky nook with creepy dudes, they actually have prices on the higher end, not something you can necessarily afford with your part time job’s paycheck from the small accounting office near your apartment where you work as an assistant on your free afternoons.
Walking into the place you immediately spot Victor behind the bar and you take a deep breath before you walk up to him.
“Hey,” you call out for him, taking one of the stools along the bar.
“Hey. Long time no see.”
“Happens when you break up with someone,” you respond with a little spice and he frowns at your words. “Can you give me the book?”
“I’ll have a break in ten, can you wait for that or you have something extra urgent shit to do, as always?” You can tell he is still bitter from how things ended between the two of you, but you’ve learned not to care about it. His way of dealing with the breakup is not your responsibility, no matter how hard he is trying to prove it wrong.
You roll your eyes but nod, knowing well there’s no use to fight him. Ten minutes is not the end of the world. Busying yourself on your phone, you try to stay unnoticed and luckily, Victor can’t keep chatting with you, because customers keep coming up to him and ordering drinks. When he finally has his break he tells you to follow him to the back.
“So how have you been?” he asks as you walk down the hallway that leads to the small break room, there’s an office at the end and some kind of changing room you guess for the bands, along with a storage.
“Fine.”
“You really gonna be a bitter bitch and not talk to me?” he asks you, giving you a disgusted look, but you know it’s just the anger talking from him.
“Victor, I didn’t come here to talk, I just need my book!”
“That doesn’t mean you can’t answer my question.”
“I answered it! I’ve been fine, now give me the damn book!” you growl, losing your patience with him, but he is seemingly in the same shoes.
“When will you stop being a bitch and just drop this ridiculous act, Y/N? I’ve been after you for months yet you keep ignoring me!”
“Did it ever occur to you that I’m ignoring you because I don’t want anything to do with you? Victor, it’s been months, just… move the fuck on! Go cry to your ex-wife or something, I don’t care!”
You didn’t mean to snap, but he always brings the worst out of you. From the corner of your eyes you can see movement at the other end of the hallway where the changing room is, but you don’t get to pay much attention to it, because the next moment Victor grabs you by your arm and yanks you towards him.
“Don’t fucking talk to me like that! You ungrateful slut, I swear…”
There’s little you can do, he is twice as big as you are, his grip on your arm so strong there’s no doubt it will leave a mark. Your heart is racing as you try to pull yourself out of his hold, but he doesn’t even bat an eye at your attempt.
However, before he could drag you into the empty breakroom to do god knows what, he is stopped by a voice.
“Hey! Let her go!”
If you weren’t shocked enough at his violent reaction, now you are definitely think you’re going nuts, because it’s none other than Professor Styles who is now nearing you with a hard expression on his face, two other guys following right behind him and though none of them are bigger than Victor, he knows he can’t just start a fight with three men.
Your chest is heaving when the professor finally reaches you and Victor’s hold lets go of you, making you fall back a little.
“You perform here twice and think you’re some kind of rockstar?” Victor spats at the professor, but you’re a little lost in what’s really going on. Professor Styles gently grabs your wrist and pulls you behind him, eyes never leaving Victor’s burning gaze.
“You alright?” one of the other two men asks and you nod, not finding your voice to actually speak.
“Get the hell out of my sight before I call the police on you,” the professor answers in a calm yet threatening voice
Victor takes a second to himself, thinking about the choices he has before he turns around and disappears in the breakroom, slamming the door behind him, leaving you in complete shock about what just happened.
Professor Styles then turns around, his eyes soften at seeing how shaken you are and quite frankly, you feel like you are in a bad and quite weird dream.
“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” he asks, clearly worried about you and you just shake your head no.
“I-I’m fine, I think,” you mumble out of breath.
“Come on, let’s get out of here,” the guy who asked if you’re alright suggests and you nod in agreement, following them kind of blindly, the three of them keeping you in their little circle as you walk out to the bar and they don’t stop until you are out of the place in the cold night air. You slowly come back to reality and process that Professor Styles just saved you out of fucking nowhere from your abusive asshole ex. That’s what you call a plot twist.
You finally take a moment to look at the other two guys, they both look the same age as the professor, or maybe a little older, both of them are rocking some facial hair, the one that asked you seems a little more open while the other one quite reserved but friendly looking.
“What… What were you doing back there?” you ask, turning to face the professor. He clearly seems upset, but you’re not sure if it’s entirely because of what happened with Victor back then or because you are standing outside some random bar on a Saturday night, definitely crossing his personal boundaries he keeps so high at school.
“We played here tonight, was just about to leave when I saw you.”
“You have a band?” you ask, shocked at the detail.
“A pretty good one,” the talkative guy chuckles. “I’m Adam, nice to meet you. This is Mitch.”
You shake hands with them introducing yourself as well.
“Y/N is… my student,” the professor adds as if he is clearing the air for his bandmates, a kind of warning for them.
From the direction of the parking lot two women emerge, laughing on something as they walk up to the four of you, both of them eyeing you curiously.
“Hey boys, who is this pretty girl?”
“Sarah, Charlotte, this is Y/N, she is my student. Y/N, these are my other band mates, Sarah and Charlotte,” the professor introduces you as you shake hands with them quickly.
“I-I’m sorry I interrupted your time with your friends, professor,” you shyly apologize, feeling like a complete intruder all of a sudden with all his bandmates around you.
“Interrupt? Sweetheart, that dude was about to do some unforgivable things to you, don’t apologize for needing help,” Adam snorts. “You’re lucky we were there.”
“What? What happened?” Sarah asks in confusion.
“Just… my asshole ex got a little too violent when I didn’t want to chit-chat with him,” you admit with a defeated sigh.
“Oh shit, but are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” you smile faintly, though you still can feel his grip on your upper arm. “I, um… I better get going, I guess. Thank you for… the saving,” you say, a little lost about what should be said in this situation.
“You’re leaving? We were just about to go to a much better place, why don’t you come with us, forget about your ex a little?” Charlotte offers and you catch the professor’s panicked look for a split second.
“I, um… I don’t think I should, but thank you.”
“Why shouldn’t you?” Sarah questions.
“Because I know how Professor Styles hates to mingle with students outside of lectures and I don’t want to cross any lines,” you truthfully admit. The professor furrows his eyebrows.
“I don’t hate mingling with students,” he states.
“Well, you are surely not the most reachable professor on campus,” you chuckle lightly. “But it’s fine, I understand it. So I’ll just head home.”
“Come on, Harry. Let her tag along for just one drink!” Sarah begs and seemingly everyone would be happy to have you join for a little. The professor’s eyes meet yours, as if he is contemplating whether he should say yes or let you go home. When he finally speaks up you’re more surprised than when you realized it was him saving you from Victor.
“I guess you could use a drink after what happened in there,” he says, the tiniest smirk showing on his lips as your eyes shoot up.
“You sure?”
“Yeah, come on,” he nods and your little group heads down the street.
Turns out the place they were heading to was just two corners down, so they left all their stuff at the minivan at the parking lot for the time being. You slide into an empty booth, Adam and Mitch go to get the first round, so it’s just the three of you girls and the professor.
“So you’re in one of Harry’s lectures?” Charlotte asks with a warm smile.
“Yeah, for the second time, actually. Had him in first year, now it’s my fifth semester and I had no doubt I have to take his class if I have the chance.” You pay a glance at him, but he is staring at his hands on his lap, you can’t tell if it’s because he is uncomfortable with you there or if it’s something else.
“It’s so funny, because we’ve heard that he is known to be a good teacher but we never actually heard it from one of his students,” Sarah chuckles. “What’s he like?”
“Sarah, you enjoy talking about me when I’m very much present?” he scoffs, giving her a look, but she just shrugs innocently.
“Come on, I bet even you’re curious about what your students think of you. Now is your time to find it out!”
“I think Professor Styles knows very well that he is one of the best, if not the actual best,” you truthfully say and see him raise his eyebrows a little.
“What makes him so good?” Charlotte questions.
You glance at him again, as a way of asking for permission if you can answer. You definitely don’t want to make him even more uncomfortable by talking about him when he is right next to you. He looks into your eyes, and his expression tells you that he wants to hear your answer as well, but he quickly adds:
“You don’t have to answer, Y/N.”
“It’s not a secret,” you admit it with a smile. “Professor Styles’ lectures always leave you with a question to think about until next week, he is great at getting into your head without you even noticing. He explains the most complicated things in so simple ways, it should be taught,” you say with a soft chuckle. “I think his enormous knowledge about many different fields in science and just life in general is amusing, anyone can learn something from him, it’s guaranteed.”
“Wow, where is this academic genius side of yours when you’re around us, or we only get to see the dad joke version of you?” Sarah teases him and you can’t push down a laugh, imagining him cracking dad jokes feels so alien but still kind of fitting for him.
“That’s what you get when you’re a nosy little thing,” he retorts with a small smirk. He then turns to you, and as Sarah and Charlotte are laughing on something, he lowly tells you: “You can call me Harry outside of school. Feels weird that you call me professor when my friends are around.”
“You sure?”
He nods and you spot a small smile on his lips. He must be getting used to the feel of you being there, but you still don’t want to push his limits too much.
“Can I ask you something?” he questions, leaning back in his seat.
“Of course.”
“If your ex is this aggressive, why were you there with him?”
His question is surprising, you didn’t think he would ask you something personal, but you guess it’s a valid question after he just saved you from Victor.
“I wanted to get a book back that I left at his place. Didn’t even get to the point where he could have given it back,” you mumble under your breath.
“What book?”
“Just this… research methodology book, wanted it back for my thesis work, but I guess I’ll have to buy a new one,” you huff bitterly.
“Is it the one written by William Scott?”
“Y-Yeah, it is. You know it?” you ask, but then realize it’s a bit of a dumb question. He probably knows every academically important book you will ever come across.
“I actually have it myself,” he nods. Just then, Mitch and Adam return with the drinks and you thank them for the beer, already reaching for your money to pay, but Adam shakes his head.
“It’s on me, don’t worry.”
You watch as Mitch sits beside Sarah, curling an arm around her shoulders and though you couldn’t have guessed that they are a couple, seeing them like this it actually makes sense, they look cute together.
You take a sip from your beer, trying to join the conversation Sarah and Charlotte are having, when your attention is pulled back by Harry.
“I can… lend you the book, if you want.”
“Oh, you don’t have to. I’ll just get a new one.”
“No, really. I think I even have two copies, I can give one to you.”
“I couldn’t ask you that, prof—I mean Harry.”
“You’re not asking,” he smiles at you softly. “I probably won’t need both, so why not put the extra into use?”
“Okay, but I’ll pay for it,” you insist, but Harry shakes his head.
“No need, one of them was a gift so I didn’t pay for it either.”
“Well… if you’re sure about it, I would love to have that extra copy, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“So Y/N, what do you study exactly?” Adam questions, pulling you out of your little discussion with Harry.
“I’m majoring in anthropology, but I’ve been taking some psychology classes on the side just because I’m interested in the topics.”
“And what is Harry teaching you?”
“Had him for intro Sociology lecture first year, now I’m in his Methodology of Cultural Anthropology class.”
“All these subjects with their GY endings, I don’t know how you two put up with science on this level,” Sarah huffs in amusement.
“The names sometimes sound fancier than the subject itself,” you tell her smiling.
“But I bet you need to be quite smart to study these stuff on this level you are at.”
“Oh, it’s just a bachelorette degree, I wouldn’t say I’m that smart,” you chuckle shyly.
“She is totally toning it down,” Harry speaks up, catching everyone’s attention. “I know students tend to take my into Sociology class for just some extra credits so I always give them two options for the semester. They can either write a two pages long review of any article related to the topics talked about at lecture and get their strong C with the bare minimum, or actually participate and do a research of their own and turn in an at least seven pages long essay about their chosen topic. Y/N turned in an eleven pages long paper on the history of death sentences in the U.S. in the last fifty years and how society is thinking about it nowadays. It was easily one of the best works I’ve ever read and it was just an intro class.”
“You remember my essay?” you ask in complete shock.
“Of course. As I said, one of the bests I’ve read,” he nods confidently.
“So you’re like… on Harry’s smart level, actually?” Sarah asks, tilting her head to the side and you can feel yourself blushing.
You’ve always been said to be the smart kid at school, but you never thought it to be true yourself. In your book, you were just doing your absolute best, soaking in whatever knowledge was thrown in your way. You never actually understood how someone could just not study for an exam or not do an assignment, because you always felt like it was your duty to do the best you can. You thought yourself to be more of a hard-working student rather than a smart one.
“She is definitely a bright one,” Harry agrees, his eyes meeting yours as a small smile appears on his lips and you think that this is the biggest compliment you’ve ever gotten. “She actually tricked me with a psychological experiment and I didn’t even realize it,” he laughs and you can’t hold your smirk back.
“What? What did you do?” Charlotte asks, dying to know how you played Harry.
“Have you heard of the Pavlovian response?” you ask looking around and you can tell it rings a bell for all of them.
“The one with the dogs and the bell?” Mitch asks and you nod.
“Wait you did that on Harry?” Adam laughs with wide eyes and you just nod with a sly smile.
“I just offered him strawberry flavored candies every time I saw him. Took me six weeks to build up the response but he actually started expecting it whenever he saw me,” you tell them chuckling to yourself.
“And I only realized it when she stopped with the candy and I felt this massive feeling that something was missing,” Harry adds shaking his head with a soft laugh.
“Okay, that’s hilarious,” Sarah snorts clapping her hands together. “Y/N, I adore you, you’re brilliant!”
“It was just… an experiment,” you shrug shyly.
The night carries much faster than you realize. One drink turns into three and before you could realize, it’s already past midnight. Eden texts you, asking where you are since you said you’d just get the book and go home right away, but it’s been hours.
Y/N: Don’t freak out, but I’m at a bar with Prof. Styles and his friends. I’ll tell you everything tomorrow!
Eden: HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME NOT TO FREAK OUT AFTER READING THIS???!?!
Y/N: Lol, chill. Nothing extra is happening.
Eden: It’s already extra that you’re out with him.
Realizing how late it is, you decide you better get going, since it’s a long way back home. When you tell the little group that you’re about to head out, they all agree that it’s time to part ways and leave, so you all slowly make your way back to the parking lot.
“Do you know where the bus stop is back?” you ask, narrowing your eyes, trying to spot where you should be heading.
“You want to go home by bus at this time?” Harry asks.
“Well, I surely won’t pay for a ride, I live almost an hour away from here.”
“An hour?” he frowns. “I’ll take you home, come on,” he tells you, heading towards the minivan.
“What? No need. The bus is fine,” you protest, but he shakes his head.
“You are not taking the bus at this hour, not under my watch,” he simply states and you raise your eyebrows at him.
“Didn’t realize I was under your watch,” you tease him and it seems like your comment caught him off-guard. “Don’t piss your pants, I was just joking,” you tell him, and thought for a second you feel like you are being way too comfortable around him, his smile quickly smashes your doubts.
Sarah, Mitch and Charlotte all take an Uber since they live near each other and Adam is picked up by his wife, so when everyone is off to their own way, you and Harry get in the van and head to your place.
“How long have you had the band?” you ask, in need to break the silence that’s been weighing down on the two of you. “If you don’t mind me asking,” you add quickly when you see him.
“About four years. Used to have another one, but we parted ways.”
“And what do you do in the band?”
“I, uhh… Well I mostly sing but I also play the guitar.”
“You know, I’m not that surprised you can sing,” you chuckle to yourself sinking further down in your seat.
“How come?”
“You have a voice that’s great to listen to at lectures, makes sense that you can sing as well.”
You take a moment to look at his hand that’s gripping the steering wheel, he is the kind that drives with one hand on the wheel, the other one on the shifting gear. He makes it look so easy as he steers the wheel whenever he is turning a corner while his other one easily moves around the shifting gear, his tattoos are peeking from under his rolled up shirt sleeve. He catches you staring and you feel a blush burning on your cheeks as you turn your head to the other side. Maybe you shouldn’t have drunk that third beer…
“Am I really seen that rigid by the students?” he speaks up after a while and you turn back to face him.
“What do you mean?”
“You said I’m known about not mingling with students.”
“Well, you don’t mingle, do you? But it doesn’t mean you come off as rigid. More like… closed-off. Private.”
“I know I should be a little friendlier, but I just…”
“You don’t have to explain yourself, I think everyone gets it why you’re like that.”
“Do they?” he arches an eyebrow.
“Well, you’re obviously a ladies’ favorite, but it doesn’t sit well with you being a person of some sort of power. It’s clear that you don’t want anyone to get the wrong picture about you. I’ve seen how bluntly girls are flirting with you, some of them are quite scandalous if you ask me,” you huff to yourself. “I totally get it that you don’t want even just a rumor to spread about you.”
“Didn’t think I was that obvious,” he admits, running his tongue over his lips.
“Don’t worry about it, you’re still a highly fancied professor, in all means,” you tell him with a warm smile.
“Does this mean you also fancy me?” he suddenly questions and your lips part at his words. He quickly realizes how ambiguous he just sounded. “I mean, am I one of your favorites? Where do I stand in your chart of professors?”
You can’t tell for sure because of the lack of lighting, but you could have sworn there’s a light blush on his cheeks as he corrects himself. Because of this, you don’t know for sure if he really meant it academically. Either way, the answer is the same.
“You’re my favorite,” you confidently state and your eyes meet for a moment before he turns back to face the road.
The rest of the ride is pretty quiet, you keep giving him directions to your place until you finally arrive a little before one am.
“Well, thank you for the ride,” you smile at him, grabbing the door handle.
“See you on Monday,” he nods shortly and watches as you get out of the can.
“Yeah, see you, professor,” you smirk before shutting the door and walking up the stairs and disappearing in your building.
“Was that Professor Styles in the fucking minivan?!” Nat throws the question at you the moment you open the front door.
“Jesus, why are you still up?” you sigh, shutting the door and shimmying yourself out of your coat.
“Because we were waiting for you!” Eden rolls her eyes. “So, care to tell us what the fuck just happened?” The three of you get comfortable on the couch and you give them a quick rundown of your evening from meeting Victor through being saved by Harry right to him offering to drive you home and they listen to you with wide eyes in complete shock that you just spent your entire evening with the most handsome professor on campus who also happens to be the most private as well.
“If I didn’t see him sitting in that van with my own eyes I would straight up think you’re lying, but I saw his tattooed hand over the windshield,” Nat gasps, processing the story.
“I know, I still feel like it didn’t happen, but it did.”
“And what is he like around his friends? What are his friends like?” Eden questions, hugging her knees to her chest.
“He is pretty much just like in lecture, just jokes a little more and he has a looser vocab. His friends are hilarious, I really got along with Sarah.”
“I know you still think it won’t happen, but I actually think you have a shot at him, Y/N,” Eden points it out and you just chuckle.
“Why, because he saved me from my douche ex?”
“No, because he let you stay for the night with him and his friends. This is literally the first ever time a student hung out with him.”
“It’s not that big of a deal, Harry is a reserved and private person—“
“Harry?!” they gasp at the same time.
“You are now just casually calling him Harry?” Nat asks with ogling eyes.
“Well, yes, he asked me to, because it felt weird that I was calling him Professor Styles with his friends around.”
“Okay, I’m giving it… let’s say, he seems to be moving pretty slow, but y’all will be fucking in about six months,” Nat bluntly tells you and it makes you laugh.
“Oh, sure, whatever. I’m gonna shower and head to bed, you two don’t get too crazy with your fairytales,” you wave at them before disappearing in the bathroom.
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The rest of the weekend goes by uneventfully, outside of the pathetic attempt from Victor to get you to talk to him, but you’ve had enough of him for a life so you finally block his number and hope you won’t ever see him again.
Both you and Eden oversleep on Monday morning, skipping your early morning lecture and already being late for Harry’s class as well, so you barely make it to Harry’s class in time, just sprinting up the rows, flopping down to your usual seats when Harry starts the lecture. It all goes as usual as if nothing really happened during the weekend, Harry doesn’t seem to be bothered by it at all. Glancing over at his desk you spot the book he promised you and you can’t hold your smile back. Still grinning, your eyes accidentally meet with his gaze and he stops for a heartbeat as if he is questioning why you are so smiley, but you just shake your head and he carries on before anyone could suspect a thing.
“I gotta run, my favorite TA is having his office hours now and I have a few questions for him. See you at home?” Eden asks once the lecture is over and you are getting ready to leave.
“Sure, have a good day!” you call after her and she sings a ‘you too!’ before running out of the room.
You pack up and head down between the rows, Harry spotting you right away and you go up to him without him even asking you to.
“Hey, sorry we were a little late to class this morning,” you tell him and he just shakes his head kindly.
“No worries. How… is your arm?” He furrows his eyebrows, his gaze wandering down to your forearm where Victor grabbed you on Saturday.
“Oh, it’s fine. I just have a little bruise,” you shrug, because it really isn’t that big deal, but you can tell Harry is still outraged by what happened.
“M’sorry about that.”
“It’s fine. Would be worse if you weren’t there,” you smile at him kindly and he nods to himself before turning to his desk.
“I, uhh, I brought the book we talked about,” he shyly says grabbing it from the desk. As people are exiting the room you can feel the glares on yourself, most of them are probably trying to figure out why Harry is talking to you for so long, but you don’t pay much attention to them as you take the book he hands you.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to pay for it?”
“No need, keep it, it’s yours,” he shakes his head with a small smile.
“Thank you then.” You slide the book into your bag before looking back up at him. “Well, I’ll see you on Wednesday, professor,” you smile warmly before heading out.
“See you!” he calls after you before you close the door behind you.
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The week carries on as usual, you are working on papers that needs to be turned in before the fall break so you spend some extra time at the library, using every bit of free time you have so you finish everything on time.
Things go back to kind of normal with Harry, he greets you in the mornings when you walk into the lecture hall and other than the warm smile he occasionally gives you, nothing has changed.
Friday however brings a surprise, but not from Harry. You’re sitting at work in the afternoon, typing away on your computer, filling in some sheets when you get a notification on your phone from Instagram.
Sarah Jones is now following you!
You tap on her profile but see that it’s private so without a second thought you request following. Luckily, she approves you only a few seconds later and you gain access to her posts, quite a few of them featuring Harry on them.
Photos of birthdays, weekend getaways, band practices and performances, Harry makes a lot of appearances on her feed and you find yourself scrolling all the way down until you reach the first few posts from 2016. Just as you are about to leave her profile you get a message from her.
Sarah: Hey Y/N! Charlotte and I’ve been talking about you recently, loved having you with us last Saturday! Want to grab a drink with the two of us this weekend?
Y/N: Would love to, but I’m not sure Harry would like the idea…
Sarah: He won’t be there and besides, who is he to tell you who you can and can’t hang out with?
She is right. You enjoyed spending time with them as well and Harry has little to no word in if you want to meet up with his friends or not. This invitation has no connection to him being your professor.
Y/N: Alright, I’m down!
 This is how your friendship with Sarah and Charlotte starts. You meet up with them on Saturday and have an amazing time, they are definitely fun people to spend time with and though at first you feel hesitant to get closer to them, you soon forget about your doubts and just enjoy your time with them.
Your little girls night goes so well that they invite you out for dinner on Wednesday with Mitch joining the little trio. You learn that he is a quiet but hilarious guy, he and Sarah make a great couple, you think.
“We have a gig this Saturday at Green Light, want to come?” Charlotte asks at the end of the dinner.
“Okay, I really don’t think Harry would be a fan of that idea,” you point out, feeling like it’s surely over the lines. He still doesn’t know about you meeting some of his friends without him and you’re not sure how he would react if he did.
“Harry can fuck off, not everything is about him. We are inviting you as our friends, he just happens to be in the band as well,” Sarah rolls her eyes, clearly not as bothered by the situation as you are.
“I just don’t want to make him uncomfortable.”
“He is a big boy, he’ll get himself over it, don’t worry. So, are you coming?”
“I guess, alright,” you nod with a soft chuckle.
 Next week you contemplate telling Harry that Sarah invited you out for their gig, but at last you decide against it, something is telling you he would try to talk you down and now you’re pretty hyped to see them perform. So you keep quiet and just brace yourself for the worst when Saturday comes.
You don’t overdress for the occasion, decide to wear some light washed mom jeans and a simple sweater tucked into it, a casual look for a night out.
Even when you’re on your way to the place you are having second guesses whether it’s a good idea or not, but you tell yourself it’s not that big of a deal and if Harry flips, you’ll just tell him you came for Sarah and Charlotte.
As you get off the bus and walk towards the place, you immediately spot the little group of three next to Harry’s minivan, Sarah waving in your way as you become visible in the streetlights.
“There she is!” she beams happily and you just chuckle at her.
Harry is standing with his back facing your way but seeing Sarah’s reaction he turns around and you swear for a moment you think he is about to faint when he spots you.
“Hey everyone,” you smile as Sarah pulls you into a hug and Charlotte does the same.
“Hey, if it isn’t our little trouble seeker!” Adam teases you and you just roll your eyes at him before shyly glancing at Harry who is standing on your left, awfully quiet and deep in his thoughts since your arrival. He feels your eyes on him and his gaze meets yours and just by one look you can tell he is pissed.
Just as you thought.
The group chats a little longer outside before Adam suggests they head inside and get ready for their start and you are just about to follow them, but Harry keeps you back.
“Y/N, can we have a word?”
Staying back you nod, hiding your hands in your coat’s pockets as you look at him, lips curled into your mouth.
“What are you doing here?” he questions, eyebrows knitted together and he looks so damn intimidating, the neon lights from the front of the building tinting part of his face green, but you think red would suit him better with this look.
“I… came to see the band playing, what do you mean?”
“Is this your sneaky way of trying to come after me? Because I thought we had a very clear discussion about my thoughts regarding situations like this and you seemed to understand it.”
He comes off way angrier than you think he should be. Yes, it might be uncomfortable for him to see you here, but the tone he just hit is way too harsh for your liking and professor or not, you are not letting anyone talk to you like that when it’s completely not relevant.
“Okay, calm down. First of all, I was invited here.”
“By who?” he spats.
“Sarah and Charlotte, we met last weekend and had dinner this week as well. Had a great time and they asked me to come tonight as well, so get off of your high horse, I’m not here for you.” You can see the change on his face as the information sinks in and he realizes he accused you wrongly, but you’re not quite done with him. “But if I was here to see you, why does that bother you so much? You can’t avoid meeting students every minute when you’re off-campus. If I came here because of you, it shouldn’t affect you this much if you weren’t worried about something else than me just being here,” you point out and he furrows his eyebrows at you. “If I didn’t know better I would think you’re afraid to be around me because you actually like me, huh!” you tell him with an innocent yet suggesting look. His eyes widen and the confidence in himself quickly vanishes from him, replaced by anxiety and nervous looks as he realizes the meaning behind your words.
“I-I, that’s not—I’m not—“
“Take a breath before you pass out, Harry,” you sigh, dropping the hard act. “I didn’t come here for you and if you want to know I actually thought a lot about canceling because of you. But I genuinely like spending time with Sarah and Charlotte so I’m here as their friend.”
Harry stares back at you, completely defeated, regret filling his green eyes. You feel a little guilty for snapping so hard at him, after all you do understand his point of view, but you genuinely don’t think it’s as big of a deal as he makes it to be.
“I-I’m…”
“It’s fine, okay? Let’s just… move past it, alright?” you suggest and he nods as the two of you head inside, joining the rest of the group.
You stay behind while they are waiting for their time to perform, keeping some distance from Harry so he can’t accuse you again, but you occasionally look his way, catching him already looking at you, but you just can’t tell what could be possibly going on in his head. When it’s time for them to go on stage, you go out to the actual bar area and sit by the counter, not too much at the front but close enough to see everything that happens on the stage.
When they start playing you can’t take your eyes off Harry. His energy behind the microphone just knocks you off the stool and you watch him completely mesmerized as if he has put a spell on you. It feels like he turns into an entirely different person on stage, nothing like the man you see at lectures every Monday and Wednesday. He sings perfectly on key, putting some extra charm into the songs with his little additional tunes whenever he is not singing a line.
But what makes it absolutely impossible to look away from him is because he keeps staring at you, eyes locking with yours for way too long every time he catches your gaze. You try to ignore it, but it’s quite hard when his eyes are basically burning into you, it leaves you breathless.
Once the concert is over you order yourself two tequila shots quickly, because something is telling you that you’ll need the boosting if you want to face Harry after his little performance.
But for your surprise, when you join the band again and get near him, nothing really happens. It seems like Harry has come to peace with your presence in his little group of friends and he actually treats you like you’re part of the circle.
The six of you occupy a table at the back of the bar to spend there the rest of the evening and it’s all good, it seems. A harmless night out with a bunch of friends, nothing extra. Harry actually strikes up conversations with you involved and you feel like you’ve overcome a banter finally.
“Do you need a ride home?” Harry asks at the end of the night when everyone is about to head home.
“Only if it’s fine by you.”
“Wouldn’t offer it if it wasn’t,” he smiles shortly before the two of you say goodbye to the rest of the group and head to his van that was previously loaded with their stuff.
The ride back to your place is now much shorter, it takes less than ten minutes to arrive and you are just about to say goodbye when he speaks up.
“I want to apologize for the way I reacted to your arrival earlier tonight. It was… unnecessary.”
“It’s fine, I’m sorry for what I said after that too.”
“You shouldn’t be,” he shakes his head, staring down at his hands in his lap.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you shouldn’t be sorry for saying something that’s true.”
It feels like all air is knocked out of you as his words process and you stare at him with parted lips and raised eyebrows. When he finally looks up at you, he looks so lost and tortured, you feel the urge to hug him, but you stay still as he continues talking.
“I got mad because I do like you and seeing you outside of school is very… confusing for me. And this is why I’m gonna be very straightforward with you now. I can tell Sarah and Charlotte like you a lot and they are stubborn, they won’t see the situation from my point of view and I’m no one to tell you if you can hang out with us or not. But what I can most certainly tell you is that nothing will happen between us. I’m very serious about this, Y/N. You are very much welcomed to spend more time with us, but I want you to know that it won’t go further than this.”
For a couple of moments you’re only able to stare back at him, blinking completely frozen at his sudden confession. You could tell tonight has been a turning point of some kind, but you were not expecting this speech from him at all and now you are at a complete loss of words. It takes some time before you actually find your voice.
“Okay,” is all you can breathe out, nothing more, but it’s pretty much all you have to tell him. You won’t go against his will and force him to do something he doesn’t want. He deserves the respect.
He nods shortly, seemingly still very torn about the situation and you figure it’s better if you just leave now.
“Thank you for the ride,” you quietly tell him opening the door. “Good night.”
“Good night, Y/N,” you hear him before you shut the door and walk into your building, feeling like you’ve been just hit by a pile of bricks.
Unlike the last time when Harry brought you home, Nat and Eden are not waiting for you in the living room. Nat is probably already asleep and Eden went out for a date earlier and she hasn’t been back. You don’t bother to turn the lights on as you walk inside, just kick your boots off and hang your coat before collapsing onto the couch, just staring into the darkness, Harry’s words repeating in your head again and again.
“… I do like you and seeing you outside of school is very confusing for me.”
“… nothing will happen between us. I’m very serious about this, Y/N.”
“… but I want you to know that it won’t go further than this.”
Harry, your professor, The Harry Styles admitted that he likes you but also told you pretty forward that nothing is ever going to happen between the two of you. It still feels like a fever dream and you’re not sure how you are feeling about it just yet. Hanging out with him was already quite overwhelming, but you were not expecting this confession from him at all.
What are you supposed to do with this information? If he is so set on not taking any further steps, why did he even share it with you? He could have just easily keep his thoughts and feelings to himself and get away with it without you ever figuring it out. It doesn’t make sense.
For the first time in your life, something Harry Styles said doesn’t make sense. That’s new.
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Following Harry’s confession you truly have no idea what to do, so you just go with the flow. He seemingly stays the same when it comes to you, friendly, but still keeping his distance. Nothing changes in the lecture hall, he just occasionally asks if you’re alright and you are guessing he only wants to know if you are having any trouble with Victor, but you haven’t even heard from him since you’ve blocked his number and you hope it’s going to stay like that.
You meet up with him and the band a few times outside of school and it’s not necessarily awkward, but you can tell he is keeping his distance from you, he never sits next to you or has one-on-one conversations with you, only if it’s necessary. The only time he dares to be alone with you is when he sometimes offers you to drive you home. You usually say no at first, but he insists, so you end up sitting in silence in the car until you arrive home, say goodbye and end of story.
No one in school even suspects that you’ve made your way into Harry’s group of friends, only Nat and Eden knows about it but they swore to keep it a secret, but you didn’t tell them about Harry’s confession. Whatever it is that’s happening between you and Harry, you would never put him into a situation he is trying to avoid so badly. You sit in his classes like everyone else, but while all the other girls are drooling over him, trying to get just slightly closer to him in any way possible, you sit in silence and think about the precious times when you get to see him outside of school.
Even with him being so distant towards you, you can’t help but slowly start falling for him. He doesn’t have to talk to you or be direct to you, it’s enough that you see him as himself, you see him with his friends, how he acts whenever he is not teaching, standing on the podium. And he is an amazing person, there’s no doubt about that.
The semester is gradually moving forward, once you get back from fall break, you basically move into the library, studying for your exams and finishing up all your papers. December arrives pretty fast and before you realize, the whole town is decorated with lights and Christmas trees everywhere, the shops are trying to lure customers in with all the sales and the Christmas shopping officially starts.
One weekend, when there’s only two weeks left of school before everyone heads home for the holidays, you and Nat go for a shopping trip, trying to buy every gift in time so you don’t have to worry about that at least last minute.
Wandering around the mall you naturally take a trip to the bookstore, always ready to buy something new to read. Nat dives into the cooking books wanting to get one for her mother while you’re just aimlessly looking through the shelves. As your eyes are running through the titles in the psychology department, you stop at one particular book, pulling it off the shelf as you can’t help but smile to yourself.
The secrets of Classical Conditioning.
You flip through the pages and though it doesn’t seem to be a groundbreaking work, it’s just explaining Pavlov’s experiment and further uses of it, you still decide to buy it.
That evening you sit at your desk, the book open in front of you, a pen next to it as you try to think of something to write into it. At first you just wanted to give it to Harry as it is, but you figured it would be a nice gesture to write a few words into it he could always read when he opens the book. After some consideration, you finally grab the pen and start writing.
-
Dear Harry,
I will always think of you whenever I hear of Mr. Ivan Petrovics Pavlov or Classical Conditioning. Thank you for another amazing semester and I’m happy I got to see you without standing on a podium. You are an amazing man, never change.
Happy holidays,
Y/N
-
Last week of school, you go to the Wednesday lecture, the last one of the semester with the book sitting in your bag. All through the 90 minutes class as Harry is having an open discussion about the lecture with the students, you keep debating whether you should give him the book or not. When the lecture is over and Harry wishes everyone happy holidays, you grab it from your bag and holding it to your chest you wait until there’s only a few people in the room. Eden has already left to hand in a paper so you walk down the rows on your own, eyes on the man behind his desk who is now packing up his papers and notes, getting ready to leave.
“Harry?” you faintly speak his name, grabbing his attention as he looks up at you from behind the desk. You glance down at the book in your hands and before you could change your mind, you place it down in front of him. “This is… for you.”
His gaze wanders down to the book, then back at you as he stares at you in awe, obviously surprised by the gesture.
“What’s this for?”
“Christmas gift?” you answer unsurely with a nervous chuckle. “I just saw it at the store and… thought of you.”
“Y/N, I can’t—“
“Yes you can and you will,” you roll your eyes at him, tired of hearing all these negations from him. He can’t, he won’t, he shouldn’t… for once, he definitely will if it’s on you. “Take it as my payment for the book you gave me.”
His eyes soften at you before he looks down at the book again, reading the title before he chuckles to himself.
“Thank you, Y/N,” he then finally says, accepting that you won’t let him return the gift under any circumstances.
“Have a nice Christmas, Harry,” you smile at him shyly, hands holding onto the strap of your bag as you start walking away.
“You too,” he faintly says and turning around you start walking, but then he stops you. “Y/N, wait!”
You stop in your track and face him curiously. He seems hesitant, stepping away from the desk, walking closer to you but still keeping some distance between the two of you.
“Do you… have plans for New Year’s Eve?”
“I, uhh—No, not yet.”
“If you happen to be back in town by then… Sarah is having this little get together. I have a feeling she already invited you, but if you said no because of me, I want you to know that it’s fine by me. Would be nice if you could come.”
He is right, Sarah did invite you over, but you kindly declined thinking Harry wouldn’t appreciate if you spent it with them. You wanted to give him a breather, have a night with his friends without having to avoid you all the time, but it seems like the situation has changed for him.
“You don’t have to invite me just because I gave you a gift, Harry.”
“It’s not about that,” he shakes his head softly. “I can tell you are getting along well with Sarah and all the others. I want you to know that I would never stand in the way and you are very much welcomed at any and all events.”
He seems and sounds genuine, you don’t see any sign of him just saying it because Sarah asked him to or something. No, this definitely came from him.
“Okay, I’ll… think about it,” you tell him with a warm smile. “See you around,” you wave at him before walking out of the room.
You don’t get to see his reaction to the words you wrote into the book and for a while, you’re not even sure he saw it. Maybe he took it home and put it on his shelf without even having a look into it, but two days later, when you’re already packing, getting ready to go home for Christmas, you get a notification that at first confuses you.
Breakfast is now following you!
You open Instagram with furrowed eyebrows as you go to the profile that just followed you. It’s a small account and private, of course and you almost close it thinking it’s just someone random when you see that it’s followed by both Sarah and Charlotte.
Could this be Harry’s profile?
The username is colazione8, it doesn’t give away much but now that you are thinking about it, it’s perfect if he wanted to stay unnoticed by his students that surely can use Instagram way better than him.
You tap on the follow request button and anxiously wait for an approval, hoping that the person behind the account is still online. You wait and wait, slowly losing hope but then the notification finally arrives. Your request has been approved.
You tap on the profile vigorously and three pictures appear in front of you. One is a picture of some random building, the first ever posted is a plate of nicely served breakfast of some sort and then there’s one that features the person you were desperately hoping to see.
It’s a picture of Harry sitting at a big dining table, a glass of wine in front of him as he is squinting his eyes towards the camera. You zoom into the picture just to make sure it’s him, but his features are clearer than daylight, it really is Harry that just followed you.
You’re still stalking his very private and not too eventful profile when you get a message from him, making your heart skip a beat.
Harry: Hey! Just wanted to thank you again for the gift, it’s really thoughtful. Read what you wrote in it… thank you, Y/N.
Y/N: I meant every word. Thank you for everything you did this semester!
It takes a few minutes for a response to arrive from him.
Harry: Are you already on your way home?
Y/N: Not yet, leaving tomorrow morning.
Harry: If I drop by your place in 20, can you come down for a sec?
Y/N: Sure!
Though your response seemed totally cool, you started panicking right away. What does this mean? Why is he coming here? Are you in trouble? You couldn’t be, you didn’t do anything wrong.
You quickly change out of your worn-out sweats and stained shirt, putting on a pair of jeans and a black hoodie, not wanting to see him looking like a total wreck. You sit on your bed, anxiously checking your phone every ten seconds to see if he has messaged you and those twenty minutes never seem to pass.
Then your phone finally chimes again.
Harry: I’m here.
Y/N: Be there in a sec.
You jump into a pair of trainers and grabbing your keys from the little sidetable you have in the hallway you storm out of the apartment, running down the stairs. As you walk out you stop in your track for a second, for some reason you were expecting the minivan, but this time, it’s a black Range Rover that’s parked in front of your building and Harry emerges from it the moment you step outside.
“Hey!” he smiles at you, shutting the door before he jogs around and you notice the little gift bag in his hands.
“Harry, is this what I think it is? Because you shouldn’t have, really,” you tell him right away as he stands in front of you, glancing down at the little bag in his hands.
“What? So you are allowed to give me a gift, but I’m not allowed to do the same?” he asks with a cheeky smile.
“But you already gave me one!”
“That wasn’t a real gift, so no,” he shakes his head, too stubborn to let it go. So instead, he nervously glances down at the little bag before handing it to you. “Here. Happy Christmas. But you can only open it when I’m gone, alright?”
“Why?”
“Just… please,” he breathes out and you not, keeping your curious hands to yourself.
“Alright. Well, thank you, Harry.”
“Sure. Um, have a great winter break and… I’ll see you around,” he smiles, walking around the car back to the side of the driving seat.
“You too, Harry. See you!”
You see him drive away as you walk back into the building, basically running up the stairs to your apartment, dying to see what’s in the little bag. Once you are locked in the safe haven of your room, you throw yourself to the bed and reach into the bag, finding a small box. One that’s usually used for jewelry. You pull it out with shaky fingers and take a deep breath before opening it.
Inside sits the cutest little silver ring you’ve literally ever seen. It’s thin and very detailed, tiny little strawberries lining next to each other and that’s the whole ring. Just the little strawberries, but it’s still the cutest you’ve ever seen. You put it on and it fits perfectly on your ring finger, holding up your hand you take a good look at how it sits on your finger. You’re in love with it.
Rolling to your back on the bed you stare up at the ceiling with a heavy heart aching for a man you know will never be yours, but you just can’t help it. The heart wants what it wants, right?
Reaching for your phone you type him a quick message
Y/N: Harry, thank you so much! It’s beautiful! But you shouldn’t have bought me anything!
Harry: I’m glad you like it :)
Y/N: I love it.
He doesn’t respond, just likes your message.
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Christmas is always the same, especially because your family just never had those juicy dramas that could ruin any family events. Holidays have always been quiet and loving, pretty predictable. It’s good to be home again and spend quality time with your loved one, though your mind keeps wandering to a particular someone.
Sarah mentioned that Harry has traveled home to his mom and sister and from time to time you catch yourself thinking about what he could be possibly doing at the moment.
The only interaction between the two of you is when you post a photo with your sister and brother at Christmas dinner and he likes the photo, but nothing more. He doesn’t post or add to his story so you are left with your own elaborate fantasies of what he could possiblybe doing at home.
Sarah convinces you to spend the New Year’s Eve at hers and you are accepting the invitation a lot easier now that Harry has told you he is fine with you joining.
Just one day before the 31st you get back to your apartment and spend the second to last night of the year spiraling about the whole situation with Harry. Where are you two standing as of right now? Was his gift a gesture with a deeper meaning behind it?
You can’t step over the fact that you are not his student anymore. He has officially graded you and you’ve received your credits for his class, the ties are off, but he situation might still be risky and you doubt Harry is willing to change his mind about what he told you earlier. He made it clear that nothing will ever happen between the two of you, however you can’t help but feel a little hopeful that the new semester might bring a change into that.
After two hours spent in front of your closet and at least three mental breakdowns you finally decide to wear a black turtleneck dress which is just the perfect mixture of modest and sexy at the same time. You feel anxious to see Harry again, not sure how to act around him following your little gift exchange. There’s a chance he’ll just shut himself off once again and avoid you all night, you can’t tell.
Sarah’s place is already buzzing by the time you arrive, several guests are lounging in the living room and kitchen, some soft music is playing and it appears that everyone is enjoying the evening so far, judging from the laughter you hear from time to time.
“I’m so glad you came!” Sarah envelopes in a tight hug when you arrive.
“Thank you for inviting me. Here, brought some snacks,” you hand her the grocery bag you picked up on your way, not wanting to arrive empty-handed.
“Oh, you are an angel, some on in, make yourself home, take whatever you want to eat or drink!” she gestures around before bringing the bag into the kitchen.
The cozy home is already filled with a lot of people you don’t know, but you also spot Charlotte and Mitch right away so you take the safe spot in their little circle. You try your best to stay present in the conversation but you keep glancing around, looking for one particular person.
And then you finally see him. Harry emerges from the little hallway that leads to the bedroom and bathroom with Adam, seemingly deep in conversation as he nurses a beer in his hand. His checkered slacks and vintage printed t-shirt makes him appear so casual, if you didn’t know him you wouldn’t even guess that he is actually a professor.
Harry laughs at something Adam just told him and his eyes glide around the room until they find you standing near the kitchen. He stops in his track, gaze running down your figure before it returns to your eyes and he seems to be in awe, like he doesn’t entirely believe it’s you he is seeing even though he knew you’d be coming. There’s nothing you want more than to run across the room and throw yourself into his arms. You spent way too much time thinking about him during Christmas and seeing him in the flesh now is a mixture of feelings you can’t really describe just now.
Neither of you leaves the conversation you are in the middle, but you keep glancing towards each other. You’re nervously moving the strawberry ring around your finger, feeling his burning gaze on your figure all the time. You haven’t taken it down since he has given it to you, it partially made it harder for you to stop thinking about him, because the jewelry was quite a loud reminder every time you glanced down at your hands.
Two drinks later your sister calls you, as always she wants to say happy new year before the lines get hectic at midnight, so you move out to the small balcony facing the street as you talk to your sister. The spicy night air feels amazing on your heated up skin, the turtleneck dress was a good choice, but it’s definitely getting hotter with each drink, especially with Harry’s lingering eyes as well. When you end the call you decide to stay outside a little longer, take a few moments to yourself.
You jump a little when you hear the sliding door open and you’re surprised to see Harry walk out.
“Hey, thought you might need this,” he smiles softly, holding a blanket in his hands.
“Oh, thank you,” you mumble and let him wrap it around your shoulders. It provides just enough heat that your lips are not shaking anymore from the cold.
“What are you doing out here alone? Not enjoying the evening?”
“I am, I was just on the phone with my sister.”
“She’s older than you, right?” he asks and you tilt your head a little looking at him.
“How do you know that?”
“I, uhh… You have a lot of pictures with her on your Instagram,” he admits with a nervous chuckle.
“Have you been stalking my profile?” you tease him, but he clearly takes it way more serious than you intended it to be.
“No, I swear it’s not like that, I just—“ he stammers but you cut him off placing a hand on his arms that are crossed over his chest.
“Harry, I was just teasing you. It’s fine,” you assure him, giving him a gentle squeeze before you are about to pull your hand back, but his hold stops you. He takes your hand in his, gently bringing it closer to his face as he examines the ring sitting on your finger.
“You’re wearing it,” he breathes out, a small cloud emitting from his pink lips as his thumb softly runs over the ring.
“Of course. I told you I love it.”
You can’t ignore the shiver that runs down your spine at the feeling of his warm palm against yours, his thumb delicately running over not just the ring, but down your finger as well before he lets go of your hand. You already miss his touch.
“So, how was Christmas?” he asks clearing his throat.
“Good, nothing extra. What about yours?”
“Same, went home to the family.”
“Do you often visit them?”
“Not as often as I would want to, but I’m trying to go every couple of months.” Harry turns towards the street, eyes running along the not too busy road that stretches past Sarah’s building. His hand comes up to the railing, fingers slightly drumming on it. “How come you didn’t bring anyone tonight?”
“Well, my roommates are still home and I also didn’t think you’d like the idea to have another student of yours around.”
“Right, yeah,” he nods, but you can tell something else is still on his mind. “So… no boyfriend to bring?”
You give him a puzzled look. Is this his way of asking if you are seeing anyone at the moment? Because if it is, it’s kind of ridiculous.
“No, not really. I guess you can say I’m not looking for one actively.”
“How come?” he asks with raised eyebrows, his body turning towards you as he leans against the railing. You give him a ‘really?’ look. You think about getting a little sassy and teasing with him, but then decide to just be straightforward instead.
“Because I’m kind of into my Methodology of Cultural Anthropology professor.”
Harry’s lips part as his eyes pierce into yours and for a moment you really think that he is about to flip, tell me how dare you say such thing to him and curse you out, but a second passes and his gaze softens as he lets out a shaky breath.
“Y/N…”
“What? I just answered your question,” you innocently shrug, looking away from him. Despite this long and weird game the two of have been playing these past months, this is the first time you openly admitted that you have a thing for him.
“You know how complicated it is and I told you that nothing can happen.” He shakes his head in defeat, a hint of disappointment in his tone, but it just grinds your gears.
“What, so you can ask about my dating life but I can’t say that I’m into you? How is that fair?”
“That’s not the same.”
“Well I think it is. Both are highly inappropriate to bring up in our situation, don’t you think? Yet you’re trying to put all the blame on me.”
“Alright, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. Let’s just… forget about it. I really don’t want to fight with you.”
“Because you’re afraid I might actually win?” you sassily reply, crossing your arms on your chest.
“I’m just trying to do the right thing, okay? Would you… let me?”
“If you haven’t realized it yet, I’m trying really hard to stay in my lane, but you’re not making it any easier.”
“I’m trying too, okay?” he growls, clearly losing his calmness at this point. “I’m really fucking trying, Y/N, but it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do!”
“You’re the one making it hard!”
“It’s not my fucking fault I can’t stop thinking about you!”
“Well it’s not my fault either!” you snap at him, both of you raising your voice, the rest of the party oblivious about the screaming match the two of you are having on the balcony. “If you’re so set on not letting anything happen, why do you come to me and act the opposite?”
“The opposite?!”
“Yes! It’s not quite appropriate to gift your student with a ring or ask them about their dating life. Or is it all new information to you?”
“You started with the gifting!”
“So what? You could have just left it there, but you didn’t. It’s not that it didn’t make me happy, but don’t try to put all the blame on me for saying something when you’re already crossing the lines.”
Harry stares at you with a hard look and you’d pay great amounts to actually read his thoughts at this moment. His jaw clenches as he exhales sharply, eyes turning away from you, as if he couldn’t even bear to look at you.
“Make up your fucking mind,” you growl under your breath as you push your way past him and walk inside before he could get a word out.
For a well-respected, educated and smart man, Harry can act pretty fucking stupid, you think. He is not being fair and you will not apologize for anything you’ve said. If he doesn’t want anything to do with you, he needs to stay in his lane and not dance on the line, poking the sleeping lion. He doesn’t get to fuck around and then put all the blame on you, that’s just not how it works and he needs to learn that.
In the last hour that’s left until midnight you mingle with the guests and try to keep your thoughts of Harry at bay, though it’s quite the challenge since he lingers around you, keeping his eyes on you all the time, as if he is trying to piss you off or something, but you’re determined to be a mature adult and keep your composure.
You’re getting tired of this game and you’re not sure anymore if you are willing to wait around until Harry makes his mind up. Not when he doesn’t keep his own rules at least.
“Come on,” you mumble to yourself as you’re trying to open up a new bottle of wine, but the screw just wouldn’t move, no matter what you do. A hand reaches forward and wraps around the neck of the bottle, interrupting your pathetic misery.
“Let me help you.”
You let Harry take the bottle, biting into your bottom lip as you turn around and watch him easily open the bottle you’ve been fighting with the past ten minutes, he grabs your empty glass from the counter and fills it.
“Thank you,” you mumble when he hands it back and you take a sip right away. He places the bottle to the counter, fingers strumming on the surface before he takes a deep breath and speaks up.
“Y/N, I’m sorry.”
“For what exactly?”
“For the way I acted. You were totally right, I called you out for things that I did myself too, that was unfair of me.” He clears his throat, leaning against the counter with his back side as he crosses his arms on his chest. It brings out how toned his arms really are and you give yourself half a second to drool over that before you take another sip from your drink, forcing yourself to keep your thoughts under control.
“Thanks for acknowledging it,” you mumble, not sure what to say exactly. The two of you stand like that in silence, eyes roaming the guests, something clearly weighing down on both of you, but it’s hard to name and address it.
You can tell he is overthinking, the gears are almost visible, turning in that smart head of his, but you don’t want him to go into depths he shouldn’t. He really is making a bigger deal out of the situation that it already is, but it’s going to wreck him.
“Okay, I want to know, what was the worst way someone tried to flirt with you?”
Harry turns to you with a puzzled look, but you just sip on your wine, waiting for his answer.
“Um, I don’t… really keep track of it.”
“Oh come on,” you give him a look. “I know you have a story. I wanna hear it!”
Your eyes meet and he is searching in yours, trying to figure out what’s the sudden change in your mood when an hour ago you were ready to throw him off the balcony. Truth is you are just frustrated, because the situation feels so impossible. You never had to deal with such an amazing man, knowing he is into you as well, but you just can’t have him. The struggle is hard for the both of you but you can’t blame him entirely. Hating on him because he is not willing to take a risk that could easily ruin his entire life but at least his academic career is just not fair and you won’t put him through that.
Harry sees where you’re coming from and he shoots you a thankful smile before it turns into a smirk as he looks down at his hands.
“Professor Davids from the department of linguistics asked me to be her date for her ex-husband’s wedding.”
“What?” you gasp with wide eyes. “For real?”
“Yeah,” he chuckles. “She started swinging by my office all the time, trying to chat me up and then one day she asked if I wanted to go with her, that we would be staying at this nice hotel and all… she really thought it was a good idea.”
“That’s very awkward,” you laugh, entertained by the thought that Professor Davids would go so low when it came to dating. “I assume, you declined the invitation.”
“Faster than ever,” he chuckles making you laugh even louder. “Okay, your turn.”
“What?”
“I told you an awkward story, now it’s your turn.”
“Um, the worst was probably a promposal I got.”
“A promposal?” he asks with a puzzled look, his forehead creasing as he pulls his eyebrows together.
“Yeah, when they ask you out to go to prom.” “Oh, yeah. Didn’t know it had a specific name.”
“Because you are way too British,” you tease him and he just gives you a narrow-eyed look, but you can see the smirk hiding on his lips. “Well, anyway, I was dating a guy senior year, but this other one was convinced he could win me over and take me to prom. He brought a fucking mariachi band to school and gave me a serenade in the middle of the hallway while my boyfriend was standing next to me. He asked me to prom so confidently at the end of the song, like he actually had a shot but it was so painfully awkward,” you laugh at the memory shaking your head and Harry joins, finding it quite entertaining.
“He really did that to himself.”
“He did, I felt bad a little, but what was I supposed to do?”
You slip into telling more and more awkward stories, staying in the kitchen you create a little bubble, the rest of the guests don’t seem to exist as you enjoy yourself with Harry. This is the most carefree and loosest you’ve ever seen him around you and you quite like this version of him. So easy to talk to and even funnier than his usual self.
A little before midnight Sarah runs around with champagne, filling everyone’s glass, getting ready for the countdown. You and Harry join Charlotte, Adam and his wife in the corner of the living room as everyone is slowly getting excited for the last moments of the year.
Looking around you see a lot of couples, holding hands, hugging, clearly planning to snog the moment the clock hits midnight and when you glance at Harry on your right you’re convinced he is thinking about the same thing.
You’re not naïve, you don’t think he is going to kiss you, but you still allow yourself to play with the thought just a little. He is standing so close to you, just the tiniest move and you’d be touching him, skin to skin again, feel him under your—
The thought is abruptly interrupted when you feel his warm palm wrap around your hand, your whole body freezing and for a split second you think it’s just an accident, that his touch will disappear before you could even blink, but it stays there. Harry maneuvers his fingers until they are laced together with yours and he keeps a firm hold of your hand, hanging between the two of you, staying hidden because you’re standing close to each other. Your breath catches in your throat and you’re afraid if you dare to move he’ll let go of your hand.
Another version of yourself would laugh hysterically at how worked up you are right now just because he is holding your hand, but the you that’s actually in the moment is about to burst just by this small touch. You have absolutely no idea what it means or why he chose to do it, but you don’t really care about it. You just want to absorb all the heat you feel coming from him where his palm meets yours, fingers braided together tightly, as if he is trying to keep you next to him, like he thinks you are about to disappear and it’s way of anchoring you to him, but truth is you don’t want to go anywhere.
“One minute, everyone!” Sarah sings in excitement as she turns on the TV and puts a huge clock on the screen that’s counting the seconds as well. You shyly glance to the side, finding Harry standing motionless next to you and when he notices you looking, his eyes meet yours. He looks terrified, like a lost little boy and you can’t tell if he is afraid of your reaction or because of what his actions might bring on him. But you want him to know that you are completely okay with where it’s heading.
“Ten! Nine! Eight!” The countdown begins and you inch closer to Harry so you’re pressed against his side, his body heat radiating into your skin even through the layers of clothes you two are wearing.
Harry leans down the moment you lift your head, his face is so close, it wouldn’t take much for you to finally kiss him, do the one thing you haven’t stopped thinking about for months.
“Y/N…” he breathes out and it’s a tortured plea, he is begging you to stop him from doing something he might regret, but you are dying for him to finally sin. You want him to give it up already, you have absolutely no desire to be the burden that keeps him in his lane. You need him to cross the line and stay there.
“I’m not stopping you, Harry,” you tell him quietly, the urge to close the distance between the two of you is burning inside you.
“Seven! Six! Five!” the countdown continues, but it all tones out, you can only see, hear and feel Harry.
“We can’t,” he whines, closing his eyes as he exhales shakily.
“We can, we just shouldn’t,” you correct him, his eyes snap open and meet yours again. You can tell he is so close to finally giving in and let his feelings and desires take control and you will not try to stop him.
His face inches the tiniest bit closer and his forehead is almost touching yours now, you can see every curly eyelash that frames his gorgeous green eyes that are now filled with fear and nerves.
“Four! Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!” Everyone screams together as the clock finally hits midnight while you just stare at Harry holding your breath, praying that he is finally ballsy enough to take this step.
“Harry, please,” you beg, not too proud of it, but you just can’t take it any longer. His hand is gripping yours tightly as he closes his eyes again and for a second you think that it’s gonna happen. He is going to give up the act and finally kiss you.
But right when the moment is burning the most… he pulls back and your heart sinks.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, his hand lets go of yours and it feels like your arm is ripped off, tears are welling in your eyes.
“Yeah, me too,” you mumble under your breath, chugging down the champagne before making your way through the living room, determined to leave as soon as possible.
“Y/N, wait, where are you going?” you hear him calling after you, but you don’t stop. You get rid of the empty champagne glass and grab your coat from the rack, storming out of the apartment as if you had somewhere to be.
Tears are streaming down your cheeks as you run down the stairs, almost tripping over your own feet. You hear the other pair of feet running behind you and Harry calling after you, but it’s not stopping you.
You push the front door of the building open, but it’s heavy, so it slows you down just enough that Harry can grab your wrist when you are about to start running down the street.
“Y/N, don’t go, let me explain!”
“No!” you snap at him. “I don’t fucking want to hear your explanation! I’m done, Harry! I’m fucking done! I was trying to be patient and respectful, I didn’t want to make it worse for you and let you do your thing, but you kept dancing back and forth and I can’t keep doing this, so I guess I’m sorry too.”
You’re choking on your own words that echo from the walls, the street is almost entirely empty, the world is still celebrating the new year while you’re at your breaking point. Harry stands in front of you, defeated and panic all over his face as he listens to you.
“I will not sit around and let you play your little games any longer, because you can’t make up your mind whether you want me or not.”
“Y/N I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life!” he snaps, throwing his hands into the air. “That’s the problem! This shouldn’t be happening, but I can’t fucking stop thinking about you, I can’t stop wanting you!”
“Then do something about it!” you beg through your tears.
“I can’t!”
“Yes you can!” you scream at him. “You can but you probably just don’t want me enough to actually do it! And it’s fine, but—“
You don’t get to finish your rant because Harry firmly grabs your arm, yanks you towards him and with one swift movement, his lips are crashing against yours.
It all happens so fast but your body reacts before your mind could process what’s really happening, fists bunching a handful of his sweater as you pull him against you, his hands flying up to your face, cupping them confidently as he kisses you hard and demandingly.
It’s like a fucking dam that’s been broken, everything you both kept bottled up and under control just breaks loose and it’s a kind of a wild fight for trying to devour each other now that all lines has been crossed an blurred into nothingness.
He is the dominant one, but you do some pushing and pulling on your own as well. You’re forced to take a few steps backwards, back arching at how forcefully he is pushing forward, lips smacking against each other over and over again, his tongue meeting yours, swirling and dancing around with yours, a shameless moan escaping your mouth.
His hands roam down your sides and you jumps when they reach the back of your thighs, legs wrapping around his waist. He keeps you up easily, fingers digging into your flesh where your butt meets your thighs and this angle allows you to be completely pressed up against him and feel every single inch of his body that burns for you.
It’s beyond anything you’ve ever imagined, you’re not sure it’s because of the build-up that led to this point or simply the chemistry you two got, but it blows your mind, making you question how you could go this long without ever kissing him.
“Harry, I want you,” you moan when his lips move down to your jawline, kissing and biting on the soft skin, tasting you wherever he can reach.
“I want you too, Y/N,” he breathes out resting his forehead against yours before kissing you again.
“Take me home then.”
“Are you sure?” he pants as you run your fingers through his hair and tug on his gently, earning a whimper from his perfectly pink and swollen lips. You love this satisfied dew on his face, especially because you know it’s because of you.
“Never been more sure about anything in my life.”
You unwrap your legs from around his waist and return to the ground, but not without him leaning down to kiss you once more before he grabs your hand and starts pulling you down the street. You spot his Rover right away and start sprinting, Harry following you right behind with a carefree laugh.
Settled in your seats he starts driving, but you can’t keep yourself away from him. His hand that’s not on the steering wheel is gripping your thigh as you lean over the console and start kissing his cheek, jawline and the corner of his mouth as one of your hands runs down his chest until it reaches his pants.
“Love, if you move further down we’re gonna crash,” he warns you with a shaky breath. “I drank a little too and I’m already fucking gone from kissing you, if you touch me I’m gonna lose it.”
You giggle, pressing one last kiss to his lips before sitting back in your seat. You need every bit of your patience and self-control to stay modest on the way back to his place. Hands gripping his you bring it up to your lips, kissing his knuckles gently as he speeds down the empty streets. It’s still barely over midnight, everyone is still celebrating, oblivious to how important this moment is to the two of you.
You really thought this would be the end. When he pulled away at midnight all hope was lost for you and it broke your heart to know that he will never choose you over his better judgment.
It’s your first time at Harry’s but you don’t really care to look around as the two of you make your way inside the townhouse, lips already melted together as you stumble through the dark hallway, not wanting to let go of each other. You successfully make it into his bedroom and Harry turns on the bedside lamp while you’re already eagerly getting rid of your coat and shoes. He does the same, clothes start to litter the hardwood flooring hastily, but neither of you is thinking about them. Harry scoops you into his arms once again, kissing your lips passionately as he bunches your dress up at your hips until he can finally grip the end of it and pull it over your head.
“Oh shit!” you giggle, the turtleneck getting stuck on your head for a moment before you’re free from it.
“That big head of yours,” he chuckles kissing your forehead.
“Shut up,” you smack his chest gently, pushing him down to the bed so you can straddle him, knees on his sides as you sit on his lap, lips meeting again.
He throws his hands up when you start pulling his t-shirt up and once the fabric is off of his body, his arms wrap around you, pulling you close to his chest. Your skin meets his and it feels heavenly, only little clothing separating the two of you at this point.
Harry scoots backwards and then throws you to the mattress, getting on top of you without your lips ever parting. His hips are pushed against yours and you can feel everything through the thin material of his slacks. Without even knowing you grind your hips, your core meeting his erection in the movement and he moans uncontrollably at the sensation.
“Fuck, Y/N,” he breathes against your lips and you can’t push your smirk down at his reaction.
“Yeah, fuck me, Harry,” you tease him before your lips get occupied once again.
His hands work fast. He unclasps your bra without you even noticing, the straps falling from your shoulders before he gets rid of it, throwing it across the room as if it did something against him. When his hungry eyes fall down on your naked chest you see the same kind of torture in his eyes that was there when he was fighting with himself before.
“Harry, stop thinking,” you tell him, fingers massaging his scalp as you lace them through his hair. “It’s fine, we’re fine.”
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he questions again and you pull him down for a reassuring kiss.
“One hundred percent. I want this. I want you.”
“Oh God, I want you so bad,” he whines again, lips kissing down your jawline, neck and collarbone before they attack your breasts.
He cups them, licks and bites them, making you a whimpering mess underneath him every time his tongue meets your hot skin. This man will be the death of you. As he moves down your body, his fingers hook into the waistband of your panties and he glances up at your for reassurance once again, you nod eagerly, lifting your hips so he can easily glide the fabric down and off of your body. Harry sits up, eyes burning down on your naked body lying in front of him as he undoes his own pants, pushing them down his long legs until they join the rest on the floor. You push yourself up when his hands move to his boxers, you want to be the one to take them off. He gladly backs his hands off when you reach out and start tugging them down. He kneels on the bed as you pull the fabric down and his erection finally becomes free, making you ache for him immediately. Once the boxers are out of the way completely you want to reach out to touch him, but he stops you, hands wrapping around your wrist before they could reach him.
Your eyes snap up to meet his darkened gaze, questioning why he stopped you.
“Y/N, I… If we do this, there’s no going back,” he breathes out with a pained look. You push yourself up to your knees so you meet his height, hands cupping his cheeks as you pull him into a sweet kiss that he hesitantly but returns.
“I know what you think about us, Harry, but I assure you, that I’m completely fine with it. But if you don’t want it to happen, we can just… lie here. I’m fine with that too. Kissing you was already such a gift for me,” you smile at him, gently pecking his lips.
“I just don’t want you to wake up and regret it. I’m not pushing you, right?”
“If anyone, it’s me pushing you,” you chuckle softly, a small smile tugging on his lips as well. “You didn’t push anything on me, alright? We are both adults and it’s completely fine. We’ll figure out the rest, I just want to focus on you now. Can I do that?”
Harry nods, still looking a little unsure, but you can tell he is starting to settle in his mindset. It’s not just him that worries about the other regretting something. You know how torn up he is about anything that’s about you and though you want him more than anything, you still don’t want to push him into doing something he is not entirely comfortable with.
“Do you want this?” you softly ask, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth.
“I do. I’m just—“
“Then it’s all good, Harry. We both want it, nothing else matters for now,” you tell him, wanting nothing else than to finally see him enjoy himself entirely. “Lay down for me,” you tell him, feeling like you taking the lead is a good idea now.
He does as you asked him to, lying down on the mattress, head sinking into his pillow as he blinks up at you, watching you swing a leg over him before settling to sit on his thighs.
“Can I touch you?” you ask, wanting to make sure he feels completely comfortable with you. Pleasing him is your number one priority right now. He nods, lips parting as he watches your hand reach out and wrap around the base of his erected length. He whimpers under your touch, his eyes fall closed when you gently pump him a few times, his cock fits so well in your palms, like pieces of a puzzle.
Leaning down you kiss his fern tattoos on each sides of his hips before placing one to his leaking tip, sliding your hands to the base before you slowly and gradually take him into your mouth.
You’re not planning to make him cum with your mouth, but you’ve been dying to taste him and it’s just as good as you imagined. The way his body reacts to your touch, the noises that leave his kissable lips, this man is completely out of this world and you want to explore every inch of his body.
You bob your head a couple of times, just enough to wet his length and work him up for what’s coming next. When you let him go of your mouth and you move a little up on his body so that his cock can be lined up with your hole, you look at him to see if he is still down to continue. One hand holding his cock, the other one flat on his naked chest, you ask him a question with your eyes that he answers with his hands squeezing your hips.
“I have the implant. Do you want to put on a condom?” you ask him at last.
“I trust you,” he breathes out. “Do you want me to put one on?”
“I want to feel you,” you tell him shaking your head.
“Okay,” he nods so it’s settled.
Leaning down you peck his lips one last time before you push the head inside and then slowly ease yourself down on his throbbing length.
“Oh fuck!”
“Harry, oh my God!” you both moan at the sensation of him finally entering you. You’ve had your fair share of sexual intercourses throughout your life, but none of them felt this good. None of them pleasured you this good so fast and easily, just the feel of him being inside you is making you lose your mind.  
You start off slow, wanting to feel him just right, get used to his size, but as soon as you feel more comfortable, you pick up a faster pace. His fingers are digging into your flesh at your hips as he holds onto you for dear life, panting and moaning at your motions. He glides in and out of you perfectly, setting your senses on fire practically.
“Harry, you feel so good,” you gasp, getting lost in the feeling. Sex has always been a good experience for you, but with Harry it’s a whole different story. As if he just opened a completely new world you never even knew about before.
“Yeah? You’re gonna cum for me?”
“Yes! Oh fuck!”
Harry pushes himself up, an arm coming around your back as he easily flips the two of you over, your back gently hitting the soft mattress. He holds himself up above you, lips crashing with yours as he starts to do the work this time, thrusting in and out of you, his hips smacking against yours forcefully as you both nearing the end.
“You’re making me lose my fucking mind, Y/N,” he cries out, head falling to the crook of your neck and you wrap your arms around him as a shield, holding him tight against you.
It doesn’t take long after that. He is hitting just the right spots, making you moan his name over and over again as your orgasm slowly devours you and washes over your whole body while he is still relentlessly moving.
“Harry! Oh… Fuck!” you gasp, legs and hands shaking and you clench your muscles around him, throwing him over the edge with you. He falls out of his rhythm, his cock twitching inside you as he moans against the hot skin of your neck, coming undone in your arms.
Nothing has ever felt this intense and mind-blowing and you’re now sure you’re addicted to him, there’s no turning back, not that you want that.
He collapses on top of you, still inside you, his body weighing down on you heavily, but it feels just fine. You run your arms up and down his sides, kissing the side of his head as you are both trying to catch your breath. It takes a few minutes for him to come back to reality with you, he lifts his head and moves to the side so he is not crushing you anymore, but an arm remains thrown over your abdomen. His vibrant green eyes are shining like never before when they meet your tired gaze and cupping his face in your palm you pull him in for a slow kiss where you finally have the time to actually taste him without the rushing of your own needs and urges.
“How are you feeling?” you softly asking, knowing well how major this was for him. You wouldn’t want him to spiral and start to self-destruct because of what just happened.
“I’m feeling fine,” he murmurs lowly, his fingers dancing on your naked side. “Just still a little torn if I did the right thing.”
“You worry too much. We did nothing wrong.”
“Not sure everyone would agree with that.”
“Fuck everyone else,” you chuckle and a smile tugs on his lips as well. “I will not feel bad for having the best sex of my life with a hot as fuck man I’m really into,” you bluntly tell him, earning a smug grin.
“Best sex of your life, huh?”
“Not even ashamed to admit,” you nod into the pillow. “How… was it for you?” you shyly ask, afraid his answer might disappoint you. But Harry pulls you closer until you’re pressed up against his chest, his lips capture yours, kissing you fiercely, making your heart skip a few beats for sure.
“Fucking amazing, baby. Probably the best I ever had too,” he admits, lips brushing against yours as he speaks. A satisfied sigh leaves your lips as you nuzzle against his chest once he has rolled to his back.
Silence comes over the two of you, you’re listening to his steady heartbeat, mindlessly drawing patterns over his chest. Lifting your head your eyes meet his and you can tell he has been thinking hard about what this all means for the future now.
“I’m in,” you simply tell him.
“Huh?”
“If you are thinking that I might not want to do this with you, that I just wanted a good fuck, that’s not what I think of this. If you want to give us a chance, I’m totally in.”
“You think we can make it work?” he quietly asks, his voice barely more than just a whisper.
“Of course,” you smile at him warmly. “You don’t?”
“I do, I’m just… there are so many things that can go wrong.”
“Then… we’ll make them right.”
Harry breathes out through his nose, clearly having a hard time to take it as easy as you do and you wish you could magically make all his doubts go away.
Sitting up you put your hands on each of his sides, looking down at him determined to bring out his confidence in the two of you.
“We just have to be patient and careful until I finish. Then we are basically free. That’s just one more semester. It could be way worse, we can make it work for a couple of months before we can finally do whatever we want. That doesn’t sound that bad, does it?” Harry shakes his head, reaching up he tugs your hair behind your ear before running his fingers down the side of your face.
“So we are really doing this?” he breathes out, a small smile on his sweet, pink lips.
“Well, I’m surely not giving up on this, we came a long way to be here,” you chuckle. “Question is, are you gonna give up on us? On… me?”
“Hell no,” he chuckles softly as he shakes his head. You smile down at him and leaning down you peck his lips tenderly.
“Then… we really are doing this.”
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SEQUEL: 🌊 AN OCEAN AWAY 🌊
-
Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!
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fics-n-stuff · 3 years
Text
A Nice Christmas
Thanks to @gayhistorynerd for the prompt, see here (I kind of deviated from it a little maybe a lot but the story still stemmed from this prompt)
Pairing: Wilhelm × Simon
Summary: Wilhelm may have denied being in the sex tape, but that doesn't mean that the world has forgotten. The Christmas break proves to be difficult for both Simon and Wilhelm, one suffering from ongoing harassment and the other feeling completely isolated, and they find that they can't help but be drawn back to each other.
Word Count: 4.5k
A/N: This took me so long to write because I got writer's block right after I started it. This doesn't have a super happy ending because I wanted to try and keep it pretty realistic, but it is pretty sweet and wholesome.
Taglist: @probablyprocrastinatingrightnow @rika90 @angelwilhelm
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Wilhelm had never felt more alone than he did being home for Christmas break. He spent as much time as was physically possible holed up in his bedroom, not wanting to see or talk to anyone, especially not his mother. He hadn’t turned his phone on for three days, he had bitten his nails down to the nailbeds and he hardly had any appetite. The ache in his chest was constant and unyielding.
He lay in the dark most of the time, his curtains closed throughout the day and only sometimes opened at night to let the moonlight in. Besides that, he didn’t have much idea of how time was passing.
He did know that it was Christmas eve though. And it must be the morning because nobody had come to drag him out of his bedroom to join the celebrations. A cursory peek around the curtain confirmed that, as Wilhelm saw that the sun hadn’t even fully risen yet.
A deep breath settled the stone in his stomach, and he reached for his phone with a shaky hand.
When the device turned on it immediately started going crazy with notifications, and Wilhelm felt his heart rate increase with every buzz.
5 messages from August
Ignore.
10 messages from Mamma
Ignore.
2 missed calls from Felice
Wilhelm paused in swiping away the notifications. Felice had called him twice and sent him three messages. He clicked on the message notification, sitting back against the wall and holding in a breath without realising it.
Felice: Hey Wille, how are you feeling being home?
Felice: I just wanted to check in but I can’t get a hold of you, I hope you’re doing alright
Felice: You probably don’t want to talk but you can call or text me whenever you do
Wilhelm sighed. Of all the people that he thought that he could depend on, Felice was the only one that he still had. He swallowed the lump in his throat and called her back.
It rang for a while before she answered, and he’d almost decided to hang up the call when it stopped ringing.
“Wille, good morning.” Felice greeted, cheerful but clearly tired. “Merry Christmas.”
“Yeah, merry Christmas Felice.” Wilhelm replied feebly. His voice was hoarse from disuse.
“Are you alright? Do you want to talk about something?”
“Uhm, I- I don’t know, I just... I don’t know.” He stuttered, wrapping his free arm around himself.
“Okay, well, what are your plans for today?”
“I’m not sure, I haven’t really been talking to anyone. What, uh, what are your plans?”
“Oh, you know, just the usual. We’ll watch Kalle Anka's Jul and play some games before dinner, then we’ll open presents.” She explained. The tinny sound of her voice through the phone was actually quite calming.
“What about for the rest of the break?”
“Um, I’m going to New York to see Maddie for New Year, so that’ll be fun. And I’m going back to Bjärstad on Boxing Day to see Sara. I’m gonna stay there just for one night.”
“So you’ve been talking to Sara a lot then?” Wilhelm questioned, moving to bite at his almost non-existent nails.
“Yeah, of course.”
“Has she said anything about Simon? Do you know if he’s alright?” His words came out more rushed than he had intended. Clearly, he was more eager for some sort of information on Simon than he had thought.
“Um, she hasn’t said much but I think he’s pretty okay.” Felice replied, but it was followed by a small sigh that let Wilhelm know that there was more to the story. “Sara says that things have mostly gone back to normal, but Simon goes out a lot less and she’s had to make her Instagram private. I think they’ve had a few people show up at their house.”
Wilhelm swallowed hard, a feeling of guilt crawling under his skin. Simon’s Instagram account had been private ever since the video had been leaked, so it seemed that now people had found Sara’s too. They had attention on them that they had never signed up for, and Wilhelm knew that it was his fault and he felt terrible for that.
“Okay.” He replied shakily. There was a short silence before Felice spoke again.
“How are you, Wilhelm? Really?” She asked.
“Lonely.” He answered. “Listen, I have to go. I need to take a shower before someone comes demanding that I take part in the Christmas celebrations.”
“Alright well, call me back whenever, okay?”
“Yeah, okay. Bye, Felice.”
“Bye, Wille. Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.”
Wilhelm ran a hand over his face, letting out a groan of frustration and sadness. Why couldn’t he just be a normal kid?
He stared down at his phone in his lap, gnawing at the nail of his right thumb in contemplation. With a shaking breath and trembling fingers, he picked it back up, opened his conversation with Simon and typed a short message. He dropped his phone in mild panic as soon as he hit send, and rubbed his hand over his chest as he took a deep, steadying breath.
+ + +
“Simon, wake up. Rosh and Ayub will be here soon.” Sara’s voice stirred Simon from his sleep and he rolled over to look at her. She was already dressed.
“What time is it?” He asked with a yawn.
“Nine o’clock. Get up and come help with breakfast.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m getting up.”
Sara rolled her eyes and left the room, and Simon reached out to his bedside table blindly until his hand landed on his phone. He squinted at the screen as he sat up, faltering when he saw the notification on the screen.
Wilhelm: Merry Christmas Simon
He felt his heart race as he stared at the screen, only snapping out of it when he heard Sara shouting at him from downstairs. He blinked, dropped his phone and set about getting dressed.
Every Christmas eve since they were ten, Simon, Sara, Rosh and Ayub would have breakfast together and then go for a long walk. It was tradition for them at this point, but Simon found himself unable to feel excited for it this year. It was all well and good to pretend like life was going on as normal, but it was hard not to feel uncomfortable when people stared at him everywhere he went.
Rosh and Ayub arrived just as he and Sara were finishing up making breakfast, and they exchanged Christmas well-wishes as they sat down to eat.
“You’re being real quiet over there, Simme. You alright?” Ayub asked after a while, and Simon realised that he’d been completely zoned out.
“Sorry, just thinking.”
“About Wilhelm?” Sara questioned. Simon pushed a bite of food into his mouth and shrugged.
“You have to move on, Simon.” Rosh said. “I know you care about him but he’s not worth all the trouble that he comes with.”
“I know. That’s why I ended things.” He replied. “It still sucks though.”
“You’ll get over him eventually.” Sara told him, putting a comforting hand on his for a few seconds before going back to her food. Simon smiled slightly.
He didn’t tell them about the text.
Despite all of that, he was in high spirits when they set out for their walk, happily joking and laughing with his friends, and they made it half an hour before he heard the first comment.
“That’s the guy from the sex tape.” Muttered a girl to her friend as they passed, and Simon felt the smile fall from his face.
“Just ignore them.” Sara told him, wrapping an arm around one of his. He nodded, but it had gotten to him. For the rest of their walk from that point, Simon felt like every person that they passed was looking at him and judging him.
They walked both Rosh and Ayub back to their houses before heading back to theirs just a bit past noon. They had almost gotten home when they were approached by a group of teenagers probably slightly younger than them.
“Are you the guy from that viral sex tape?” One of the boys asked unabashedly, the group coming right up in front of Simon and Sara and blocking their path.
“Uh, I don’t want to talk about that.” Simon replied stiffly, still trying to be polite.
“Oh my god, it is him!” A girl exclaimed.
“Was it actually the crown prince in the video?” Another chimed. Simon felt lightheaded.
“He already said that it wasn’t.” He deflected, trying to sidestep the group.
“Yeah, but there’s a lot of people that don’t actually believe him.” The girl laughed; actually laughed, as if this hadn’t been an earth shattering event for Simon.
“If it wasn’t Prince Wilhelm then who was it in the video?” A boy asked, and that was when Simon spotted the phone filming him and his stomach dropped.
“I’m not discussing my sex life with a bunch of strangers.” He scoffed in disbelief, shouldering his way past the group with Sara close behind him. “Please leave me alone.”
“You could just tell us if it was actually the prince or not.” One of them pressed, the group now following after Simon. “If it wasn’t him then you don’t have anything to hide.”
“Oh my god, did the royal family pay you off? Did they make you sign an NDA!?”
“Were you, like, boyfriends? Or was it just a hookup?”
Simon kept walking, keeping his head down and not answering any of the questions being hurled at him. He could sense that Sara was just as tense beside him. The group followed them for a full block before Simon finally lost his cool and came to a dead stop, turning to face them.
“I’m not going to answer your questions. The fact that you’re following me is not going to make me answer your questions. I’ve had my privacy majorly invaded once already and now you’re invading it again. I’m trying to enjoy Christmas with my sister and you’re chasing me with a camera, I’m sick of people harassing me.” He fumed, making sure to meet the eye of every one of them at some point. “Whatever you choose to believe is not my problem. It doesn’t matter whether you think that the crown prince is telling the truth or you choose to make up some type of theory, I deserve my privacy.”
He didn’t wait for any type of response before he turned around and walked away, thankful to find that they weren’t going to follow him anymore.
“You handled that well.” Sara said quietly once they had turned the next corner. Simon didn’t reply.
When they got home, he went straight upstairs without a word. He slammed his bedroom door shut and buried his face in his pillow, unable to hold the tears back any longer.
By that same evening, the video was viral.
+ + +
I bet that girl was right and the royal family made him sign an NDA
If he didn’t want people to think it was the prince he would have just said that it wasn’t so either the prince was lying or this guy is seeking attention
He’s literally a kid why can’t people just leave him alone??
I don’t care if it was the prince in the tape or not, this guy is hot
The way he said that people are making up theories makes me think that it actually wasn’t the prince in the video
I feel bad for this guy, getting followed around like that must suck
Wilhelm scrolled through the captions and comments on the seemingly endless posts of the video of Simon, feeling like somebody had a vice grip on his heart.
The first time he saw the video had been right after Christmas Eve dinner. He’d had a full blown panic attack and locked himself in the bathroom for half an hour. When he came out, his mother had tried to talk to him about the politics of the situation and he had immediately retreated into his bedroom once again. He missed Erik desperately.
He hadn’t been able to sleep, he'd only gotten about three hours of broken, fitful sleep all night, and now he couldn’t pry himself away from his phone. He knew that it was bad for him, he knew that it was making him feel terrible, but he wanted to know what people were saying.
He had been hesitant to text Simon, especially since he hadn’t received a reply to the merry Christmas text that he had sent in the morning, but in the end he mustered the courage to reach out. He had asked how Simon was doing and apologised for getting him into this situation. He wasn’t surprised when no answer came.
Christmas day was proving to be probably the worst day of Christmas break for Wilhelm. His chest felt like it was bursting open and like it was an empty chasm at the same time. He didn’t eat breakfast or lunch, he didn’t respond to the knocks that came at his door. He felt like he was trapped in a glass box and someone was shaking it.
Wilhelm didn’t know how long he had been scrolling through multiple different social media platforms when his phone buzzed in his hand and an incoming call appeared on the screen. He faltered, sitting up and almost dropping his phone, when he saw that it was Simon. He ran a nervous hand through his hair as he raised the phone to his ear.
“Simon?” He croaked.
“Hi, Wilhelm.” The reply came through the phone, and Wilhelm felt his shoulders relax at the sound of Simon’s voice.
“Hi. H-how are you.” He fumbled, and Simon sighed on the other end.
“I’m okay, I guess. As okay as I can be after... well, you know.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry for putting you in this situation.”
“This wasn’t your fault, Wille.” Simon muttered. “I just wish things were different.”
“Why, um... why did you call?” Wilhelm asked. There was a short stretch of silence that rung in his ears before Simon answered.
“I just wanted to hear your voice, I guess.” He confessed, and Wilhelm couldn’t help the soft smile that pulled at his lips. “Honestly, I was kind of surprised that you didn’t delete my number or something.”
“Why would I have done that?”
“I don’t know, I guess I just thought that you weren’t supposed to have any ties with me since you said that it wasn’t you in the video.” Wilhelm winced at that.
“It's not like my contacts list is available to the public.” He replied, trying to keep his tone light. “I’m not gonna let that kind of thing get in my head again.”
“Is your mum mad?” Simon asked, and now it was Wilhelm’s turn to sigh.
“I’m not sure, I kind of shut myself in my room so that I wouldn’t have to deal with her.” He answered tiredly. “How is your family?”
“Uh, shaken. Sara’s off in her own world with her sketchbooks and mamá can’t go for more than an hour without checking on us both, but we’re handling it.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologise.”
There was a silence again. Wilhelm ran his hand across his leg, back and forth in a soothing motion, not sure what he should say but not wanting the conversation to finish. In the end, Simon spoke first.
“Did you mean it, what you said before you left for the break?” He asked softly.
“Yeah, I did.” Wilhelm answered without hesitation. “I know it wasn’t a good time to say it, and you probably didn’t want to hear it, but I just had to say it out loud. At least once.”
Silence again. Wilhelm heard Simon sigh, and pursed his lips nervously.
“I miss you.” Simon said.
“I miss you too.” Wilhelm replied with a nervous yet relieved chuckle. “I miss you a lot.”
Another pause.
“Where do we go from here, Wille?” Simon whispered.
“I don’t know.” Wilhelm mumbled. “But I... I want to fix this. Or at least just try to fix it. You don’t deserve to be harassed like this, and it’s my fault and I feel terrible.”
“It’s not your fault.” Simon reassured with a sigh. “It was everything else. We still didn’t do anything wrong, and that includes you.”
“No, I did. I promised we would be in this together and I broke that promise.”
“I understand why you did it. And I’m not mad at you. Honestly, having thought about it, you probably made the best decision for my sake too. I mean, I’m getting harassed enough as it is already. I can’t imagine what it would be like if you had told the truth.”
“I’m still sorry anyway.” Wilhelm said softly, and Simon chuckled. “So, um, Felice told me she was visiting Bjärstad tomorrow.”
“Yeah, her and Sara have gotten close. It’s nice, you know, that Sara’s made friends. And Felice is cool.”
“Yeah, she’s great.”
There was silence again, and Wilhelm bit at his nails thinking that Simon was done with the conversation.
“Are you alright, Wille?” Simon asked after a while. “I know this is your first Christmas without Erik, and I guess things with your mum might be a little... well, I just hope you’re okay.”
Wilhelm swallowed. He could lie, pretend he was fine and wave away Simon’s concerns, but he knew the lie probably wouldn’t hold up. Or he could tell the truth and admit how painfully lonely he was, how much he hated being home because the palace felt empty without Erik and how much he longed to be with Simon with every fibre of his being.
“I’m coping.” He sighed, settling for a middle ground of vagueness. “It’s lonely here. The ceilings feel too high.”
“Have you had stuff to do?”
“No, not really. I haven’t really been in the mood for Christmas, but I guess none of us are particularly festive this year anyway.”
“Would you - I mean, if you would even be allowed to, but maybe if you could – would you want to come down here for a day?” Simon asked, and Wilhelm could just picture him fidgeting nervously as he stumbled over his words. The image brought a smile to his face.
“Yeah, I’d like that.” He answered softly. “I’ll try and convince my parents.”
+ + +
Going to Simon’s house had been an absolute no go with his parents. “Just too risky” his mother had said. However, with enough persistence, he managed to wear them down to a compromise.
That was how he ended up in a car on his way back to Hillerska the day after Boxing Day. While Simon’s house had been absolutely off the table, it would be easy enough to get back to Hillerska without being seen. The only people who were there during the break were security and the people who came to take care of the horses.
He had been worried at first that the inconvenience of it would make Simon not want to bother, but when he texted to ask if it was okay he had been met with a quick agreement.
A security guard unlocked the door for him when they arrived, sworn to secrecy of course, and he headed up to his room to wait. He didn’t realise he was biting his nails until there was a knock at the door and he was knocked out of his anxious thoughts.
The door opened slowly, and Wilhelm felt like all of the air was knocked out of his body when he saw Simon step inside, dressed in his beloved purple hoodie under the coat that he took off and draped over the back of a chair that was within reach. The door clicked shut behind him, and silence hung in the air.
“Hey.” Simon greeted finally, and Wilhelm took a deep breath as if he was just remembering how to breathe at all.
“Hey.” He echoed. “How are you?”
“Better.” Simon nodded. “Did you get into a fight with your parents?”
“Yeah, kinda.” Wilhelm muttered. “It’s fine though.”
Simon crossed the room and took a seat beside Wilhelm on the edge of the bed, a good few inches of space between them. It felt like miles.
“You look tired.” Simon commented.
“I’ve been having a hard time sleeping.” Wilhelm replied weakly, eyes downcast, fidgeting with his hands. “I get that way sometimes. It’s fine.”
“Is it?”
He looked over to find Simon watching him, and he practically crumbled under his gaze. He took a very unsteady breath and shook his head.
“No, it sucks.” He mumbled. His hand drifted back up to his mouth and he gnawed on the nail of his thumb nervously.
“Wille, you’re bleeding.” Simon said, gently grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand away from his mouth. Wilhelm looked down at his thumb and saw a bit of blood pooling in the side of the nailbed, becoming aware of the taste of it on his tongue.
“Oh, I didn’t notice.”
“How much have you been biting your nails?” Simon questioned, pulling Wilhelm’s hand towards him to get a look at them. Every nail was jagged and uneven, bitten down to stubs. The skin around them had been bitten at too.
“I don’t know, I do it without realising.” Wilhelm shrugged. “Probably a lot.” He resisted the urge to curl his fingers around Simon’s hand and blinked back the tears that threatened to fall.
“You shouldn’t have to bottle everything in, you’re destroying yourself.” Simon murmured.
“I don’t have anyone to talk to.” Wilhelm’s voice broke halfway through his sentence, a single tear managing to fight its way from his eye. “I used to be able to talk to Erik about at least some of it but now he’s gone and I don’t have anyone, and sometimes it feels like the ground is falling out from under me and I just don’t know what to do.”
He didn’t notice that he was hyperventilating until Simon pulled him into his arms. Wilhelm’s chest was tight, rising and falling rapidly against Simon’s body. Simon's arms were wrapped around him tightly, and Wilhelm was suddenly overwhelmed with how much he had been craving a hug as his hands grasped at the back of Simon’s hoodie and he hid his face in the crook of Simon’s neck.
Wilhelm had always been told not to cry. Ever since he was a child, whenever he began to cry he was told to stop. The seed had planted itself in him when he was very young, but the fear of letting himself cry didn’t truly grow until he once saw an article in a tabloid. He was barely eleven and he had fallen and hurt himself at an event. He had hardly cried, just a few tears and red cheeks, but the tabloid had had plenty to say about it. He hadn’t let himself properly cry since, except for when Erik died. Even then, he had waited until he was completely alone before he let his weakness show. But now, with Simon, he felt an overwhelming need to let his tears fall.
“I’m so sorry.” He whispered into Simon’s shoulder. He could feel the tears coming out of his eyes but they weren’t falling down his face, instead absorbing into the fabric of Simon’s hoodie.
“It’s okay.” Simon soothed, a hand moving up to stroke over the Wilhelm’s hair.
“I never wanted any of this. I never wanted to be a prince.”
“I know.”
“I just wanted to feel normal. Just for once.” Wilhelm said through his tears. “You made me feel normal.”
Simon furrowed his eyebrows, sympathetic. He loosened his hold on Wilhelm and leaned back, sliding the hand that was on the back of Wilhelm’s head forward to rest against his cheek.
“You made me feel normal too.” He replied softly. “At school I was a social outcast because I’m not rich, and at home I have to take care of my mom and Sara. When I was with you, I didn’t feel like I had to take care of anyone or watch where I was stepping. Well, except that one night.” Wilhelm huffed a slight laugh at the comment, lifting a hand to wipe the tears off of his cheeks. “I’ve never seen you cry before.” Simon commented.
“I’m not supposed to.” Wilhelm replied with an awkward chuckle, his head tipping forward in embarrassment. Simon sighed through his nose and lightly touched his forehead to Wilhelm’s.
“You have to cry sometimes, Wille. Everyone cries.”
“I’m not supposed to be everyone.”
“Okay, but sometimes you need to stop worrying about what you’re supposed to be.” Simon told him. “I know you know that.”
Wilhelm took a deep breath. This close to Simon’s face, he could feel his breathing too. He wanted to kiss him, but he didn’t know if that would be okay. He nodded slightly, covering Simon’s hand on his cheek with his own.
“Yeah.” He breathed.
When Simon leaned forward and connected their lips Wilhelm responded automatically, though it took his brain a few seconds to catch up. Once his brain did catch up, his hand took hold of the back of Simon’s neck and pulled him impossibly closer, holding onto this moment like it was his last. Maybe it would be the last time he got to kiss Simon; he couldn’t know. He hoped it wouldn’t be.
“Thanks for coming to see me.” Simon said when they broke apart.
“Thanks for wanting to see me at all.” Wilhelm replied. “I really missed you.”
Simon hummed, a faint smile playing at his lips. He watched Wilhelm for a few moments before kicking off his shoes.
“Come here.” He said, shuffling over the bed towards the wall. Wilhelm followed suit and allowed himself to be guided down to a lying position, Simon’s chest against his back and arm around his waist. “You need to sleep.”
“It’s the middle of the day.” Wilhelm protested, weak as the protest may have been.
“People have naps all the time, and you know that you need it.” Simon said firmly, adjusting the pillow under his head with his free arm and finding Wilhelm's hand to hold in the other. “It doesn’t have to be for long, okay?”
“Okay.” Wilhelm nodded, feeling suddenly very relaxed. He took a deep breath settling into the comfort and warmth of Simon’s body around his as his eyes fell shut. “This is nice.” He mumbled after a while.
“Yeah.” Simon agreed softly. “Go to sleep, Wille.”
It wasn’t long until he felt Wilhelm’s breathing change, signifying that he had fallen asleep. He smiled, fondly but with an edge of sadness to it, and pressed a light kiss to Wilhelm’s shoulder before closing his own eyes. They would deal with the rest of the world when they woke up.
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lazyliars · 3 years
Text
So c!Slimecicle and c!Quackity's relationship is specifically engineered to kill me, specifically.
How DARE they give Quackity a morality pet. This is unacceptable and it will unarguably break my heart into little itty bitty pieces.
It's almost comical how hamfisted their dynamic is to lend a softer, sweeter facet to Q when all of his other relationships are darkening so severely, but it works.
cc!Charlie is playing the childish newcomer SO WELL and c!Quackity doesn't feel out of character when he's so proud and excited to show him capitalism and gambling, and how genuinely scared he seems when Charlie was on the ledge.
Seriously, he was offering to lessen Charlie's debts and PAY HIM not to endanger himself.
His promise to protect Charlie? Reads wholly sincere. And Charlie responding that he would protect Q too, like everything else he says, is also devastatingly honest.
"I take care of the people who take care of me."
Yeah. Yeah.
But on the other hand, this is also kind of horrible.
It's unclear how much of an "adult" c!Charlie is - it's implied that he's hundreds of years old(?) and the form he's taken isn't childish. But his understanding of human beings, and humanity in general, is so limited and not fully formed yet.
While I don't want to infantalize him, I think it's also worth keeping in mind that his agency in this situation is... tenuous. He has his own logic and understanding of the world, but it's not one shared by others.
Further more, Quackity directly refers to him as "not old enough" and Connor seems to view him as younger when he humors him - not in an insulting way, but in the way you might if a child was helping their parent at work and trying to be independent.
All of this means that the power imbalance present in their dynamic is dangerous, for both of them.
Quackity is spiraling hard right now, and it bodes very badly for him that the person he vocally describes as his "best friend" is a slimeguy he met a week ago at most, who is, among other things, deeply impressionable.
Now, we've only had two proper lore interactions, so I ask this next theory be taken with a grain of salt...
But in thinking on it, the relationship between c!Quackity and c!Slimecicle could be leading into a parallel to c!Tommy and c!Dream in exile.
Now, I know that seems waaaaaaay off, I really do. And Quackity hasn't done anything to hurt Charlie, and nothing that he has done to him reads to me like abuse. I am not saying that I think anything in the situations are morally or even physically equivalent, because they aren't.
The worst Quackity does is put Charlie into debt, which we'll get to-- But it doesn't have the same tone as any of exile - it's not treated in the text as "bad" in the same way.
But when I say "parallel" I mean that it echoes certain qualities. Quackity is already having an arc that parallels Dream's in some ways - cutting out/losing attachments, doing darker and darker things for reasons that are esoteric to the viewers, and manipulating multiple people who are in dark places.
And in that vein, one thing that Dream was always adamant about was that he and Tommy were friends. He went so far as to say that Tommy was his only attachment.
In watching Quackity and Slimecicle have this funny, sweet friendship, it's easy to forget that Charlie isn't just his best friend, he's his only friend. Quackity has lost or privatized all of his meaningful connections to other people.
And that's hardly fair to Charlie, who is brand new to humanity and doesn't have the tools to recognize the drastic power imbalance between them, or the support network necessary to help him if he loses Quackity. Quackity is also the only thing that Charlie has.
And Quackity happily putting Charlie into debt so that he can make him work for him, I'm sure was originally a purely practical idea to net him a useful pawn, now reads as more desperate; the actions of a man who was painfully reminded of what friendship feels like and wants to keep this one little connection he's made.
If Charlie is in debt, he has to work for Quackity, which means he has to stay. He can't leave him, like everyone else. (Nevermind the fact that Charlie would have definitely said "yes" to helping Quackity without any debts or payment involved.)
Through this lens (and again, we only have two interactions, so grain of salt--) it does mirror Dream viewing Tommy as his "friend" to the point that he wanted them to become "immortal" together.
While Quackity has sunk pretty low, I don't think he'd ever sink that low, and even if this parallel IS the direction they're going, I don't think they'll take it there entirely - I feel like it would be more likely that Charlie might be the thing that pulls Quackity back from the edge, if he does indeed hurt him and realizes it soon enough.
All of that is just my personal impressions as to where the story might be going. It could be completely different from what I'm expecting, I really don't know.
And none of this is to say that the relationship developing isn't genuine - I think it really, really is, and that's what is so heartbreaking about this; Quackity is still on his villain arc, he's still spiraling, but now we have this stark reminder of the caring person he used to be-- and still is, deep down.
This is going to hurt so fucking bad. I'm hype.
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happylittledrabbles · 3 years
Text
Like a Virgin
Fandom: Attack on Titan
Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Erwin Smith
Rating: 18+ (DNI IF A MINOR)
Genre: Smut
Word Count: 9K
AO3
Levi is very sexually frustrated from all of Erwin's wandering touches and wants to know for sure whether Erwin is into him or not. He questions the commander on if he has a woman he wants to have sex with, and Erwin doesn't reply. That's the moment Levi finds out Erwin is a virgin. He proposes to "help" Erwin learn how to have sex before he goes on to have sex with the woman of his dreams.
Shenanigans ensue.
“Wine or champagne?”
Levi eyed the two bottles in front of him, his eyes then sliding to the blond man behind the desk, his uniform a size too small for him. But he knew that Erwin liked it like that since it showed off his body. He’d never admit to it, though.
“Wine,” Levi said ultimately, motioning to the opaque bottle. Erwin obliged with a nod of the head and leaned forward, the leather chair groaning underneath his shifting weight. He took the glass and let a bit of wine dribble into it, handing it to the black-haired man to taste.
“Didn’t know you were a sommelier,” Levi remarked with a scoff, swirling the wine in the cup and giving it a sniff before tipping it to his lips. He smacked them together, the oaky wine reminiscent of the nights when he and Erwin would get too drunk after a successful mission—their arms around each other, their hands roaming to places that only lovers should touch…
“Are you drunk already, Levi? Your face is flushed,” Erwin asked, breaking Levi out of his daydreams. He reached across the desk, brushing his fingers across Levi’s cheek (as if that would make the problem better) (it absolutely didn’t). “You only had one sip. Are you sick?”
“Get your hands off me, old man,” Levi grumbled, swatting Erwin’s hand away even though he desperately wanted to grab it and lead it to the places where his mind went a few moments ago. His blush had worsened tenfold, causing Erwin to laugh and raise a caterpillar brow in pleased confusion. He took Levi’s cup and filled it up the rest of the way before handing it back.
“I’m not that old,” he retorted, standing up from his office chair to lean on the edge of the desk with the cup of wine he poured himself in hand. He kicked the tip of Levi’s boot playfully before taking a sip of the wine, wincing away from the cup. “Wow, this is pretty strong.”
He was far too close for comfort to Levi—he could practically smell that warm, masculine cologne he peppered on himself every day. It seemed as if every sight, every smell, every taste, every touch...everything was reminding him of the fact that he was horribly frustrated. Sexually frustrated, that is. Erwin was too much of a dunce to ever figure out that Levi wanted to take him apart and put him back together in a fit of pleasure. He’d never figure out that those lingering touches when they had dinner together weren’t a mistake, but a silent plea to never let go. No, Erwin’s nickname was—lovingly—meathead in Levi’s mind. It was getting to the point that all of Erwin’s playful touches and sexual remarks seemed mocking, as if Erwin was saying, “Yeah, you’ll never have me. But every woman on the Scout Regiment wants to fuck me. And I’ll fuck them, too.”
That gave Levi an idea.
“Speaking of old,” Levi continued, taking another sip of wine. If he was to have this conversation, he’d much rather carry on drunk so that he could blame it on the alcohol if—when—it went south. “It’s about time you get a wife. Any women on the Scout Regiment looking like a nice piece of ass?”
“Levi, how crude,” Erwin admonished, his eyes widening in surprise. “You shouldn’t refer to women that way.” Levi would have missed the slight blush rising in Erwin’s cheeks if he hadn’t already been staring straight into his soul for any hint of a reaction at the mention of women.
“Ah, sorry,” Levi apologized, thankful that Erwin wasn’t the type to reply to that gross comment with an equally grosser response. “Well, anyway, we’ve been in close quarters with them for a while. Any lucky ladies get a little closer?”
Erwin uncrossed and crossed one leg over the other as if he couldn’t decide where to put his legs, taking a heavy swig of the wine. It seemed as if Erwin had the same idea as his friend: get as drunk as possible to answer this line of questioning. “I…I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Erwin, don’t play dumb with me,” Levi said, leaning his elbows forward on his knees and sipping his wine until there was less than half left. “You can tell me. I’m your best friend. At least I hope.”
An unreadable look crossed Erwin’s face—what Levi wouldn’t give to crawl inside his mind right now. The blond ran a heavy hand down his face, letting out a groan that made Levi sit back up as straight as a pole. His hands drifted into his lap in case the little friend in his pants made an appearance, as it so often did when he was alone with Erwin, getting drunk like this.
“You…you are my best friend. Although that sounds a little juvenile.” Erwin chuckled softly before rolling his eyes. “Why are you so interested in my private life? For the record, it’s highly unethical for me to sleep with members of the Regiment.”
Levi tossed his head back in laughter. “We’re all adults. Shit happens.”
Erwin balked before shying away behind his desk, turning his back to Levi. His back was tense—the muscles surrounding his scapula rose through his uniform as he crossed his arms firmly. “You shouldn’t refer to making love that way.”
Levi stood up, tracing the edge of the desk with his fingers. Erwin was pissing him off. Why was he so defensive of his answers? Usually, men would jump to brag about their experiences at the mere insinuation of having sex with women. Meanwhile, he acted as if he’d never had sex before and was avoiding the question as much as possible. Levi just wanted to know if those lingering stares or tender touches meant something more, and he needed Erwin to tell him that he was taken so that he could be turned down without making a fool out of himself.
“’Making love’? You’re a big ol’ softie, aren’t you?” Levi sat on the desk as he watched the muscles of Erwin’s back tell the story his face was hiding. He polished off the last of the wine in his cup and set it gently down on the table. He kept his eyes on Erwin’s back, biting his lip and hesitating before finally saying, “It’s like you’ve never had sex at all.”
It was supposed to be a joke, one that would make Erwin splutter about to defend himself and spill all his sexual experiences. Levi was illiterate at reading Erwin’s facial expressions but had an advanced degree in literacy in reading his body language. He thought it’d be laughable to anybody to insinuate Erwin had never had sex. After all, anybody who met the man had hearts glowing in their eyes. But his shoulders hiking up to his ears, both of which promptly turned pink, and his arms quickly wrapping around himself were an obvious confirmation of Levi’s suspicions.
Levi was far too surprised to say anything or even move. His jaw went slack as Erwin shifted his body weight from one foot to another uncomfortably. The tension in the room was palpable, dripping from the ceiling and coating each man in a layer of unease. Erwin was a man of honesty. He’d never outright lie unless it’d reduce panic among the population or his cadets. He’d never lie to somebody of his rank, least of all Levi. So, the most he could do was stay quiet in the face of the accusation. If he stayed silent, he wouldn’t be lying, but he wouldn’t have to talk about it.
Except, Levi wouldn’t take silence as a complete answer.
“Erwin,” he pressed, the chair groaning as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He laced his fingers together as a hammock for his chin, cocking his head at Erwin’s statuesque figure. “Are you serious? You’ve never had sex?”
Erwin flinched at the claim, and he turned to the side, the lamplight creating a halo around his profile. His aquiline nose and thin lips were put on prominent display, and it took everything Levi had to not grab his face and turn it to face him. He needed to see what Erwin was thinking. He needed to parse out what the wrinkles in his face meant, what each flick of the eye signified. This discovery was the last thing he expected. He expected the secret to the Titans be discovered before Erwin’s more-than-intact virginity.
Erwin’s eyes were set on the floor. “I…it just never happened—"
“You’re approaching middle age, Erwin! What the hell do you mean?” Levi finally moved toward Erwin, grabbing his bicep and whirling the blond to face him. “You’ve never had one girlfriend? One woman you've liked?” He paused. “Have you even had your first kiss?”
“Of course I have!” Erwin was finally animated, and he tossed Levi’s grip off him and stepped back. “My Lord, Levi, you think so lowly of me.”
“Erwin, you are a fully grown, extremely attractive man who hasn’t had sex yet. People have flung themselves at you for years.” Levi tried to find another explanation for his shock, but all that came out was stutters and word vomit. He truly was at a loss for words.
Erwin pursed his lips before catching his bottom lip between his teeth. “I just haven’t met the right person yet,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Well, I-I have, I simply…don’t know how they feel about me.”
Levi tried to catch Erwin’s eye, but the blond was resolute on keeping his gaze on a particular swirl in the hardwood.
“You’re kidding,” Levi scoffed, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “You’ve been waiting all this time because you’re scared to admit your feelings? We’re on the brink of death every day, Erwin. We’re going on a mission tomorrow. Sure, it’s a run-of-the-mill mission, but you never know what could happen. One moment you’re there, the next, you’re being crunched on by a Titan like potato chips. I think you’ll survive a little confession.”
Erwin turned his body completely to face Levi, catching the shorter man off guard with the sudden confrontation. “Well, what about you? What’s your entire sexual history? I can’t be the only one on trial here.”
Levi shrugged. “The Underground is an interesting place. Prostitutes are very forgiving for your first time. They give you a discount.” He laughed at the pained expression that crossed Erwin’s face and waved his previous statement away. “I’m kidding. There were some cute girls down there. And then here…well, I got around as I rose the ranks.” He deliberately left out the part where he fucked and got fucked by plenty of men, deciding that was too forward. He needed Erwin to come to him first.
Erwin braced himself on the edge of the desk once Levi finished recounting his sexual tales, his knuckles turning white with how tightly he was gripping it. Levi’s eyes fell onto the other’s hand, the veins and bones in his hand rising above his skin, causing his mouth to go dry. Was this the right thing to do—to ask Erwin about his love life? Wouldn’t he be disappointed when Erwin told him all about the sweet woman he was in love with, the woman he wanted to lose his long-overdue virginity to? Especially after all those yearning gazes shared between them, the times when Erwin draped a blanket over him after he passed out on top of his desk, the handmade teas and horrible cookies (but they tasted perfect because Erwin made them)? Suddenly, Levi wanted desperately to renege on the topic of conversation.
He was about to ditch the entire thing when Erwin cleared his throat, his face pinkening. The lamplight couldn’t lie; the commander was actually getting embarrassed.
“But…what if they’re disappointed? I should’ve…done it…a while ago. I should be good at it.” Erwin covered his face with his hand, the other still digging its nails into the wood desk.
Levi’s whole mindset changed then. He could work with this. He could…do something with this. He had a brilliant idea.
“Men your age and older still can’t fuck right,” he said softly, a sympathetic smile on his lips as he slowly approached the commander. “With how caring you are, I’m sure you’ll do better on your first time than any man who’s had sex a million times.”
Erwin’s blush worsened, but instead of bashfulness, it seemed as if he was surprised. “You think I’m caring?”
Levi hesitated. “Well, yes. You do everything in your power to protect your cadets.” Now, time for the hardest part of the plan. He swallowed thickly before sliding his hand across the table, his fingers meeting Erwin’s before sliding on top of the back of his hand. His eyes flicked from their enjoined hands to the panicked blue eyes in front of him, analyzing them for any sort of resistance. “And you do everything to protect me. So, if you want…I can teach you how to fuck. Before, you know, you go and have sex with the right person.”
His eyes fell to the floor after he finished speaking, disappointment setting in. Sure, if Erwin agreed to this, he’d get to fuck the love of his life and finally see him in his true, pleasure-fueled element. He’d probably even get closer to him. But this was all a precursor to Erwin going out to “make love” to the woman he actually liked, and Levi would have to watch from the sidelines with a pained smile as they settled down and had beautiful children. Sure, Levi wanted to fuck Erwin. But he wanted to love him, too. He wanted a life with him—as much as a life within the walls could afford. And he wanted Erwin to love him back.
Erwin was silent, but he didn’t move his hand, nor his eyes. His eyes stayed on their hands, evaluating, dissecting, inspecting. Finally, he inhaled sharply, causing Levi to inadvertently tighten his grip on Erwin’s hand.
“You’d be willing to teach me?” he repeated. Levi nodded. Neither of the men was looking at each other. They didn’t have the courage to, even as full-grown adults. “Physically, you mean? Not with a chalkboard?”
Levi’s next move was a surprise to him, too; it was as if he was watching his own body from afar as he gripped Erwin’s wrist and flung him into his desk chair before settling in his lap, his legs snug between Erwin’s thighs and the arms of the chair. Erwin’s thighs provided a wonderful seat: they were big and strong, the muscle providing the perfect padding for Levi to sit back and still reach the blond’s flabbergasted face. His hand gripped Erwin’s tie and brought him closer, the tips of their noses kissing.
“Does this answer your question?” he murmured, and Erwin quickly nodded, looking like an obedient puppy in the hands of his equal.
His eyelashes fluttered as his gaze dropped to Levi’s lips. “When will the lesson begin?”
Oh, you fucker, Levi thought before diving in and massacring the lips he’d been dreaming about for far too many years. He never in a million years expected Erwin to accept his advances, and yet, unbelievably, it was happening now, in front of him, and not all in his head. He didn’t have time to process the fact that he was kissing his best friend, and that his best friend was reciprocating (with tongue). He had accepted that this was a dream, and he’d treat it that way until it was confirmed that it was real life—presumably after they’d both finished their “lesson”.
Erwin was an extremely good kisser. Whoever he’d shared his first kiss with evidently taught him well, or he was experienced in that department, or he was a fast learner. Or all three. Whatever it was, all he knew was that just a kiss was getting him hot and heavy. He sighed into the kiss when he felt Erwin’s hands on his back and hip, big enough to span from one shoulder blade to the other and for his palm to cover Levi’s entire hipbone. Unwittingly, Levi bucked his hips in Erwin’s palm, trying to get closer to his burning hot touch, only to elicit a delicious groan from the other.
“Fuck.” Erwin bit down on Levi’s bottom lip, his hand gripping onto the back of Levi’s shirt as if he were hanging on for life.
Levi was on fire. The kiss was like a drug. It was nothing like the drugs peddled in the Underground; no, it was far stronger. It was deadly because he would rather sacrifice his lungs than come up for air.
“Levi,” Erwin all but growled, causing Levi to grind his hips down in reply. All that did for the commander was make his eyes roll back and call out another “Levi,” except this time, his voice was soaked in need.
“Oh, what you do to me, Erwin,” Levi whispered. He ground his hips down again, making Erwin see stars. The fronts of their pants were equally and painfully hard at this point, and if it weren’t for their pesky clothing getting in the way, Erwin would’ve finished a long time ago. Levi relished in the feeling of Erwin’s hardness pressed against his inner thigh, making sure to give it ample attention whenever he moved his hips because it gave him the perfect reaction from Erwin: a drawn-out moan that left Levi lightheaded.
Levi wasted no time in tossing Erwin’s tie aside and ripping open his shirt, the buttons popping off and clattering on the floor. The clattering did nothing to distract him from Erwin’s muscular chest, however. He’d seen Erwin shirtless before, of course. Living in such close quarters, they’d oftentimes had to change in the same room. Levi began to wonder if Erwin looked at him the same way he had admired the blond; his broad chest, imposing upon the other males in the room as if to say “I know I’m stronger than you, and you do, too,” his bedhead locks hanging limply in front of his coarse eyebrows when they’d been woken up far too early, the gray sweatpants they wore during training that might as well have been lingerie. They left little to the imagination, and Levi was about to find out if the bulge he’d have to pry his eyes away from every day lived up to its potential.
Erwin slipped his hands up Levi’s shirt hesitantly at first, but when Levi leaned into the touch with another whirl of the hips, his tender touches turned ravenous. Levi’s shirt was also not spared from their hungry love affair, joining Erwin’s torn shirt on the floor. Erwin’s lips detached from Levi’s and reattached to his neck, suckling on the soft skin until Levi was forced to dig his fingernails into the blond’s shoulders to not alert the guards mulling around outside. It was dark out; all the cadets were asleep—however, he didn’t want to risk anything.
“This is very un-virgin-like of you,” Levi murmured before a groan overtook his voice, his spine curving so their chests were pressed against each other. “You’re—mmm—good…”
Erwin chuckled a reply, his hands roaming Levi’s chest until his thumbs got stuck on his nipples, which were hard and tantalizingly pink. All Erwin saw was candy.
“Do you like being touched here?” Without wasting a breath, Erwin kissed a trail down Levi’s chest to place a gentle kiss on the nub.
“Yes,” Levi breathed, tossing his head back as his arms moved to hug Erwin’s head to his chest. “Erwin, this is so—h-hey!”
Erwin’s teeth snagged on his nipple, and the blond looked up with a smirk of mischief.
“Apologies. My mistake.”
Levi scoffed. “Bullshi—a-ah!”
Levi wasn’t a small man—frame-wise. He was muscular and broad and sturdy; however, Erwin’s hands made him feel like a delicate plaything, they were so big. He was starting to feel his dominance wane, especially with the way Erwin made him moan like a bitch in heat. He was always in control whenever he had sex, and the only way to do that…was to make Erwin the bitch in heat.
“Have you ever gotten a blowjob, Erwin?” he whispered, placing butterfly kisses on Erwin’s head as the blond busied his lips with Levi’s nipples and chest. However, those lips stilled at that question.
“I…I have,” he replied reluctantly, raising his head to meet the other’s eyes.
Levi was a little disappointed because if Erwin already knew how a blowjob felt, that meant he’d have to out-blow the first person. Not that that would be a challenge, but still.
“So you’re not entirely a virgin,” he mused, drawing swirls in Erwin’s gelled back hair. If his hair wasn’t sweat-soaked and messy in his eyes by the time they’d finished, Levi would consider it a job badly done.
“I-I suppose not?” Erwin stuttered, confusion evident in his tone. “Why, what are you—”
Levi was already on his knees before he finished his question, ready to answer it. He quickly undid Erwin’s belt, licking his lips at the bulge he had very clearly felt against his leg a few moments ago.
Erwin immediately began to panic, his arms flying out to try and stop the other. “Levi! Y-you don’t have to—”
Levi was quick to interrupt. “I want to,” he replied. He was practically drooling, the clinking of the belt and the zipper unzipping music to his ears. It was pornographic just how much Erwin’s cock was straining against his drawers—the poor fabric was hanging onto his hips by a thread. It only took a short wave of his hand against the fabric crotch for Erwin’s hardness to emerge, leaving Levi breathless and confused.
How the hell am I going to fit this inside me?
“Don’t look at it like that,” Erwin said with a frown, breaking Levi out of his thoughts.
“No, Erwin,” Levi cooed reassuringly, brushing his fingertips against the vein encircling his shaft. “I’m just admiring it.”
Erwin didn’t seem convinced until he felt Levi’s fingers against them—then, all insecurities vanished. His whole body stiffened, his fingers digging into the leather arms of the chair.
Levi smirked at the whitening knuckles in front of him, his eyes drifting up to meet Erwin’s heated gaze. “Christ, if that’s how you react to a touch like that, I wonder how you’ll react to this…” With that, he gripped Erwin’s cock firmly and gave it an experimental stroke.
“A-ah!” The reaction was better than what Levi could ever imagine. Erwin’s body was pulsing, his eyelids dropping with lewdness and his gruff chest voice coming out in spurts. “Fuck…”
“Hm,” Levi hummed, leaning over to give the head a chaste kiss.
“L-Levi!” Erwin gasped. “Stop playing with me!”
“Oh, but it’s so fun,” Levi replied, his never-ending smirk on display on his lips. It only disappeared once he took the head into his mouth, letting the saliva he accumulated in his mouth drip down the shaft and gather around his hand that grasped the base. He gave it another pump as he sucked happily, lubricating it both to provide less friction for Erwin and for himself when he’d eventually have to put it inside himself. It was hot in his hand and heavy against his tongue, and all he was thinking was how it’d feel slapped against his cheek. But of course, he didn’t expect a virgin to do that for him.
“Mm—mm! Levi, ple-ease…” Erwin begged, his body racked with overstimulation.
“Pleath whath?” Levi asked, his voice muffled from the cock in his mouth. But Erwin’s answer was interrupted by another bout of moans that dribbled out of his mouth once Levi returned to dutifully sucking, taking more of the shaft into his mouth. He continued to descend, the corners of his mouth burning by how wide his mouth was stretching to accommodate Erwin’s size, not to mention how he was on the verge of gagging with how deep the blond’s cock was rubbing in his throat. And he was only halfway down.
This is going to be difficult, Levi thought, but he couldn’t focus on thinking when Erwin was making such a huge racket above him.
He pulled up enough to speak, saying, “If this is how you react to the beginning of a blowjob, then the one you got before must’ve been horrible,” before diving back down to his previous spot. He heard Erwin begin a retort, but he stuck out his tongue and stroked the vein in the corner of his mouth as a dirty trick, effectively shutting Erwin up with his own groans.
Even though he was focused on going as deep as possible, he couldn’t help but look up and try to make eye contact with Erwin, who was watching him with such a hungry expression, Levi couldn’t help but reach down into his pants to try and relieve some of the pain in his crotch as well.
However, after a few more strokes and gulps of Erwin’s shaft, he could barely prepare himself for the pressure at the back of his head or the gag that came from the back of his throat.
GACK!
“E-Er–“ was all Levi could say around the thick shaft in his mouth before Erwin’s heavy hand pushed him further down, burying himself deeper in the dark-haired man’s throat.
“Fuck, Levi!” Erwin groaned, his head tossed back in ecstasy. “It feels so…fuck! I’m so close…”
Erwin’s last curse came out as a growl, lighting Levi’s cheeks and groin on fire. However, his throat was also on fire, but for an entirely different reason. He liked control, but he couldn’t deny that being manhandled this way, feeling the sting in his hair where Erwin gripped it, made his body electrified. And he also couldn’t deny that the feeling of a cock lodged in his throat, as much as it was sexy, was also extremely uncomfortable.
“Er—!” he began, his voice muffled before being interrupted by another gag. His taps against Erwin’s leg quickly turned to slaps just as Erwin’s pushes brought him down to the base, his nose nuzzled into his golden happy trail.
“Oh, Levi!” Erwin exclaimed, suddenly broken out of his pleasure-fueled fugue state. He released Levi’s hair and the pressure on his head, leaving Levi to immediately lift off his cock with a lewd pop. He was left coughing while Erwin spluttered out apologies, his hands up in the air before one of them found a place on the top of Levi’s head. However, this time, there was no pressure. He pet the soft hair underneath his fingertips apologetically as Levi caught his bearings.
“I’m so sorry, Levi,” Erwin finally said after a myriad of unfinished sentences and stutters. “I-I got too into it. That’s never happened before…I—“
“No,” Levi finally said, his voice now hoarse. He wiped at the corner of his mouth, his hand streaked with saliva and precome. He took a moment to clear his throat before quietly adding, “I…I liked it.”
Both men could barely meet each other’s eyes, their faces as red as the candle flame dancing about on the desk.
Erwin was the first who dared to speak. “Uh, well, I—“
But Levi was quick to interrupt. “If that’s all it takes to get you to come, then we better move on.” He stood up, his hands dropping to his own belt as he held Erwin’s curious gaze. He dropped his trousers, leaving himself in just his drawers. “We wouldn’t want you to finish before we even got started.”
Erwin cleared his throat, his eyebrows furrowing together as he took in Levi’s body. His curious gaze morphed into something darker, his clear eyes turning stormy as they dropped to Levi’s crotch. “Y-yes, we wouldn’t want that.”
Erwin’s hungry gaze sent shivers down Levi’s spine. He had wanted this for so long: to be admired, to be sexualized by Erwin. He wanted to be wanted, and that was exactly how it was going. Erwin was physically restraining himself from reaching forward and pulling Levi to him; it was obvious from how tightly he was gripping the chair. It was perfect.
He carefully climbed back onto Erwin’s lap, sighing at the feeling of the blond replacing his hands to their rightful position on his hips once again. The position was the same as before, except now, Levi could feel Erwin’s leaking cock pressed against his asscheek, wetting his drawers.
“Nervous to finally lose your V card?” he asked with a smirk, reaching behind him to give Erwin’s cock a playful tug, earning a delicious grunt from the other.
“Should I be?” Erwin replied, cocking his head as he gazed up at his friend with lowered eyelids and heavy pants. His chest was rising and falling erratically the more Levi fondled him.
“No,” Levi cooed, reaching up to push down his drawers. He leaned forward and kissed Erwin’s cheek, delighting in the whimper that escaped those thin lips. “I’ll take care of everything.”
He lifted a hand to his lips, sticking two fingers inside his mouth and wetting them dutifully with his tongue. If he wanted to walk the next day and not bleed, he’d have to stretch himself very attentively.
“What are you doing?” Erwin asked. He was watching Levi’s every move with heated glances.
Levi chuckled between the fingers in his mouth, pulling them out and reaching behind himself. “Sex between men requires some stretching and lubrication,” he said as he slowly pushed a finger inside himself, letting out a low hiss. “When you have sex with the woman of your dreams, you probably won’t have to endure this. Women make their own lubrication, and if she’s not a virgin, she’s probably loose enough. Just give me a second.”
Even though he knew he shouldn’t rush the process, he didn’t want Erwin to think he was a boring lay, so he inserted a second finger, feeling a slight sting. Even though he only wanted to fuck Erwin in that moment, he at least wanted it to make it enjoyable and sweet for the man who was losing his virginity. He was sharing an important moment with his best friend, and even though sex between men wasn’t really counted as real sex, he might as well educate Erwin on real sex. So that was what he decided to do.
“You’re not exactly small, Erwin,” he continued, using his other hand to stroke Erwin as he fingered himself. It’d been a while since he last had sex. Perhaps a couple of years. Ever since he met and bonded with Erwin, he hadn’t had eyes on anybody else and wouldn’t let anybody touch him. In a way, he’d been saving himself for Erwin.
“You have to be patient with your lady,” he instructed, flinching each time he pumped his fingers in and out. He was loosening up, just not at the desired pace. “She might not handle it well.”
“Levi,” Erwin rasped, breaking Levi out of his teaching persona. “I want to do it.”
“Uh—” This was the last thing Levi expected, especially out of Erwin. “What?”
Erwin snaked a hand down Levi’s hip down to cup his cheek, his hand dangerously close to his entrance. His fingers inched up to stroke Levi’s wrist, which had since stilled from shock. He craned his neck up, his eyelashes fluttering as he looked at his friend.
“I want to prepare you,” he repeated. “Shouldn’t I learn how to do this?”
Levi hesitated. “Er, well, you probably won’t have to do this with women—”
“Levi,” Erwin interrupted, his eyes closing with annoyance, “for fuck’s sake, shut up about women. Let me help you.”
Levi’s ears went bright pink at that, and he had no choice but to let his fingers slip out and let his hand hang limply by his side. Erwin hardly ever cursed. It’d have to be a life or death situation for him to curse. And yet…
“Tell me if I’m hurting you,” Erwin warned, lifting his hand to his mouth and wetting two fingers like he watched Levi do. He dropped his hand to Levi’s entrance once his fingers were sufficiently coated, pushing in his fingertip as he held his breath.
“You’re not,” Levi said after sucking in a sharp breath. Erwin’s fingers were much bigger than his own—he knew this very well after dreaming about them for years. They felt even bigger than in his dreams. “Keep going.”
Erwin pushed in until he reached his knuckle and slowly pulled out, using Levi’s sighs and breaths as a guide as to whether he was doing well or not. He decided to risk it and push in a second finger before the saliva coating it dried up, earning a squeal from Levi.
“Are you okay?” Erwin asked hurriedly, but all Levi responded with was throwing his arms around his shoulders and burying his face in the crook of his neck.
“Erwin…” Levi’s voice was shaky. Erwin had never heard him like this. Levi always had a monotone voice, one that was reassured and calm. Even when he yelled, it was controlled. He was always in control. Well, it was only fair. This experience was a first for him, and it was a first for Levi to not be in control.
“Should I continue?” Erwin asked again.
Levi let out a shuddering breath. “I-inside every man’s ass, there’s a spot. And when you touch that spot, it makes you see stars. A-and…” He shifted his hips backward, causing Erwin’s fingers to brush up against a walnut-shaped mound raised from Levi’s walls. Yet again, Levi let out a cry, his fingers digging into Erwin’s back and leaving behind crescent-shaped tattoos.
“So, it’s here?” he asked, pressing into that spot again as if it was nothing, but it was everything to Levi. His mind was foggy, and his head was light. He was so confused; how did Erwin find his spot so quickly and how does he continue to find it so easily? Big fingers are good for that reason, but it seemed as if he knew intuitively where it was.
“Are y-you sure you’re a…a virgin?” he asked, moving his hips to match the pump of Erwin’s fingers. For a virgin, he was finding the spot over and over with impressive accuracy and stroking it with beautiful mastery.
Erwin chuckled and buried his nose in Levi’s dark mop of hair, taking in the smell of his hair mousse and salty sweat. “Yes, I’m very sure.”
After a few moments of continuous pumping, Levi instructed Erwin to scissor him open with another joke about him being well-endowed.
“I think you’re a virgin because women are too scared to handle your giant dick,” he said with a breathy laugh.
“Oh, I doubt that,” Erwin replied, giving Levi another scissor stretch. He fell silent in his thoughts for a moment before beginning, “You know, women aren’t my—”
“Okay, I think I’m ready,” Levi cut in, his hand gripping Erwin’s wrist. “I’m ready to put it in.”
“P-put—“ Erwin spluttered, his face matching Levi’s pink ears. “O-oh, right.”
It was almost as if he just remembered what was happening, that he was going to have sex. It was frustratingly endearing.
“We’ll go nice and easy,” Levi whispered, his tone no longer having its usual bite. He wasn’t that drunk on horniness—he knew how much of a big moment this was for Erwin.
“Okay,” Erwin replied quietly. He sucked air through his clenched teeth when Levi gripped his cock against, standing it up as he hovered above it. “You can stop whenever you want.”
“I know that,” Levi replied hurriedly. It almost felt as if he was losing his virginity, not Erwin. He let out a long breath before lowering his hips, but his chest seized once his entrance made contact with the head of Erwin’s cock, the sheer size of it making his body shut down.
“A-ah,” was the small whine that escaped Erwin’s lips. It invigorated Levi—he had control. It was all he needed to lower his hips further, letting out a groan with each inch that entered him.
“Mmm, fuck,” he grunted, his legs trembling the more he lowered himself. However, as strong as his thighs were, they were no match for Erwin’s size, and they gave out, causing a smack to echo off the walls from Levi’s legs giving out and landing him in Erwin’s lap yet again, except this time with his full size inside him.
“Ngh-!” It was like ripping off a bandage—it was better to get it over with all in one swoop, but damn, did it hurt. It was confirmed: Levi would be walking funny the next day for sure. But it couldn’t have felt any better. He was finally joined with Erwin. And he couldn’t wait to fuck him into oblivion.
However, Erwin was suspiciously quiet. Levi tried to lift his head from being buried in Erwin’s gelled hair, but Erwin’s stiff hold on him prevented him from checking in on the blond or even seeing his face since it was pressed against Levi’s chest.
And then came the warmth flooding inside him. It was strange—did Erwin grow a few inches in the few seconds he was inside? But it felt like liquid… which sent Levi into a panic. Was he bleeding that badly? Was he hemorrhaging? If he died because of internal bleeding from a giant cock instead of going down in glory from a Titan, he’d have some hands to throw with God.
However, he quickly pieced together what was happening when he felt Erwin’s entire body shivering and a guttural groan escape from the back of his throat, reverberating throughout Levi’s entire body.
Erwin came.
“Erwin?” he whispered. He bit his lip apprehensively, unsure of how to approach the sensitive issue. Usually, he enjoyed a good creampie. But he needed to have his mind fucked out before he got to the point where he could tolerate the slimy mess inside him, and he was hardly there. Now, he was just uncomfortable, even if it was Erwin’s, the love of his life’s slimy mess.
Erwin wasn’t talking. He was a statue.
Levi took his perpetual silence and interpreted it as shame. He rubbed Erwin’s shoulder reassuringly and kissed the top of his head, making sure to keep his hips still to not overstimulate the poor man.
“It’s alright, Erwin. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of men do this, especially during their first time. It’s completely nor…” Levi trailed off when he realized something dire: Erwin wasn’t getting softer. He was preparing himself to lift off Erwin’s lap and have that difficult conversation, but how the hell was he supposed to get up with that thing still lodged inside him?
Erwin wasn’t just not getting softer; he was getting harder. Enough to stretch Levi open even more, causing the man to hiss both in pain and in confusion. What the hell is going on?
Before Levi could realize what was happening, he was being lifted into the air and subsequently flipped over, his face pressed into the cold hardwood desk. His legs flailed about before finding their place on the floor, his arms pinned behind him in Erwin’s strong grasp.
“Erwin—?!”
“Sorry, Levi, but I’m not done.” Erwin’s voice was gravelly, and Levi couldn’t see his face to match the voice to the expression he was making. “Mind if I come in you again?”
“W-wait—!” However, a powerful thrust cut him off, replacing his objection with a shout mixed with a lewd moan. His chin and knees thumped against the desk, and his softening erection was at full mast yet again. “Erwin, wait!”
Erwin was about to pull out again—he had become a machine—but stopped upon hearing Levi’s pleas. “Are you alright? Does it hurt?”
How dare you fucking ask that when I’m leaking like a hose over here? Levi thought angrily. He shook his head to the best of his ability and clarified, “N-no, just…what happened?”
“Oh.” Erwin chuckled bashfully, and when Levi turned his head, he could see the blond rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.
The damn brute, acting all shy.
“Well, that was embarrassing. You caught me off guard. But I recovered. So, shall we continue?”
He pulled out an imperceptible amount before pushing back in, giving Levi a mouth-watering taste of what was to come.
“Erwin,” Levi breathed, his cheek heating up the wood underneath it as he tried to meet Erwin’s eyes. “Fuck me until I can’t stand.”
Levi liked to be in control. But something that he’d learned very quickly from Erwin (who knew he’d be learning something from the virgin?) was that sometimes…it was nice to give up control. He had been in control his entire life, especially now as a captain. Maybe he could let somebody take the reins for a while.
The small smile that crossed Erwin’s lips sent chills down his spine. “Duly noted.”
The subsequent thrust that followed made Levi’s knees buckle, but Erwin’s hold on his wrists pinned to his back held him in place long enough for Levi to barely recover in time for another back-breaking thrust.
“E-Erwin!” he cried, his skin prickling with each smack and squelch that hit his ears. “Erwin, fuck, it feels—ngh, s-so—"
Both his legs and voice were trembling, his legs close to collapsing at the feeling of Erwin’s size stuffed inside him and pushing out his semen with his thrust. The previous semen provided the perfect lube, and it only added to the lascivious sounds filling the room. Erwin’s groans and grunts were short but dominant, each one causing Levi’s body to seize up and his hole to tighten, which then caused Erwin to groan more. It was a vicious cycle, one that brought each man eye-rolling waves of pleasure.
“You’re so tight, L-Levi,” Erwin murmured, leaning over Levi’s body to lick the shell of his ear. He gave another rough thrust, relishing in Levi’s unhinged reaction. “Are you sure you’re not a virgin?”
Levi was about to reply with a sarcastic remark, but Erwin never gave him the time as he ramped up his pace and continued to give his ear—one of his erogenous zones—special attention. Erwin let go of Levi’s wrists, to which the captain responded by spreading his arms out and digging his nails into the wood. However, Erwin didn’t leave Levi’s hands unattended for long. In between hard thrusts, he slipped a hand over Levi’s, interlacing their fingers from the back and running his thumb over his knuckles. He kept his other hand staunchly on Levi’s hip, leaving angry red marks for Levi to enjoy afterward.
“You’re going to have to buy me a new desk,” he whispered, his voice barely audible over the slapping and wet sounds behind them. “You’re leaving scratch marks. That’s pretty…ugh…s-suspicious.”
“Erwin!” Levi begged, both out of frustration and pleasure. He wanted Erwin to stop teasing him, but at the same time, that was the main thing that was sending him over the edge—other than the punishing thrusting pace, of course. “Fuck me, f-fuck me, f…fuck…mmm—! Harder!”
“As you wish,” Erwin replied. He complied beautifully to Levi’s request, each thrust leaving a fresh set of raised red circles on Levi’s ass. “A-ah, Levi…it’s getting quite hard to move…”
“Shut up and kiss me,” Levi demanded. Yet again, Erwin complied, leaning back over and meeting Levi’s cherry red and bitten-up lips with a sloppy kiss that only added to the wet sounds in the room. “Mmph!”
“Levi,” Erwin growled hoarsely in between kisses, causing Levi’s toes to curl in his boots. “Levi…are you cl…mmm…close? Can I...c-can I come inside?"
Levi nodded quickly, which only added to his disorientedness. He couldn't tell down from up—that was Erwin's effect on him. "I-inside...plea...please!"
They were breathing into each other’s mouths at this point, too afraid to separate lips and lose that connection between them. Levi nodded, his hand drifting down the desk.
“My…my cock…” Levi mumbled before a moan overtook him, his hand stopping in its movements as his body went stiff again.
Erwin understood right away. He acted quickly, wanting Levi to come at least once before he finished again. He moved the hand on Levi’s hip down, down until his fingers brushed against Levi’s leaking cock. Within a second, he had it in his grip, giving it a tight pump and utilizing the precome as lube.
Levi’s reaction was immediate, his voice coming out as a shrill squeak and his body ransacked by tremors. He could barely see anything between his sweaty hair clumping in front of his eyes and the way his head was being tossed about with each brutal thrust. All he knew was that he needed one more thing, and he was done.
“Levi,” Erwin whispered again, planting a kiss on the corner of Levi’s lips. “I like you. I like you so much. I’ve liked you for so long…”
That was all Levi needed. With all his erogenous zones activated, plus the romantic confession from Erwin, it was the perfect concoction that brewed up a warm, familiar feeling in the depths of his stomach. It only took the combination of a pump of Erwin’s hand and a thrust from his brilliant cock to send him over the edge.
“Er-Er—” His voice cut out just as his vision was overtaken by blinding stars, his come splashing against the inside of the desk and leaving it covered in the evidence of his and Erwin’s romantic encounter. His entire body seized, and every time he felt the fluid movement of Erwin’s abs moving against his sweat-slicked back, it overstimulated him to the point that all that came out of his mouth were pathetic whimpers. With the next movement, he used all the strength in his neck to move his head over to their conjoined hands and bit down on Erwin’s knuckles to silence himself.
It only took two more thrusts for Erwin to finish. He had been holding back ever since they first started back up again, but he needed Levi to enjoy this as much as he was. And his captain very clearly did. His captain.
His orgasm was quieter than Levi’s, but it wasn’t any less dramatic or took any less of a toll on his body. His hips stuttered forward, his chest erratically falling and rising to compensate for the lack of breath in his lungs. He grunted into the nape of Levi’s neck as he buried himself deep inside, spilling his second seed of the night inside his captain. His captain.
Levi was very much in that fucked-out-of-his-mind state of being because he thoroughly enjoyed the feeling of being filled to the brim with that sticky substance a second time. It was the perfect feeling to close out the night, followed by the worst feeling of the night: Erwin pulling out. He let out a pathetic whine, and he wasn't even ashamed—he loved Erwin's cock that much. He felt so empty, and he had to deal with the sensation of Erwin’s hot come spill out and wind down his leg. He’d have to take a bath right after this. But his legs could barely stand, and he could hardly hold onto the desk; all his limbs had turned into jelly.
Luckily, Erwin caught him by wrapping his arm around Levi’s stomach before he could collapse, seating him in his lap. Since when had Erwin sat back down in the chair? Levi didn’t know—all he knew was he had been thoroughly and totally fucked from the fact that he had no sense of linear time. All he knew was that he was still madly in love with Erwin, and he had fallen deeper in love…if that was even possible.
“Hey,” Erwin finally spoke up after a few uninterrupted minutes of them breathing heavily. “You’re the right person I was talking about earlier, Levi. You’re the person I’ve been saving myself for.”
Levi was so lightheaded, he felt as if his head could up and float away at any moment. But the second he heard Erwin say that, heard his meatheaded commander confess his love for the second time, he was all-too grounded.
“I…I think I figured that out pretty quickly, Erwin,” Levi replied softly, still catching his breath. He slipped his hands over the blond’s that were sitting over his stomach, and he leaned his head back to rest against Erwin’s shoulder. He looked up to see those blue eyes he’d wanted to focus only on him for so long, and he earned it. Now, those blue eyes never left him. “No normal man would’ve accepted my proposal without being a little attracted to men.”
“Well, then, I’m glad I’m not normal,” Erwin replied, hugging Levi closer to him. “I’m glad you taught me to love you, Levi.”
How could Levi not feel all warm and mushy at that? As much of the stern man he was, he wasn’t heartless. In fact, Erwin reminded him just how big his heart could be at times, as if it was too big for his chest and would burst at any moment.
“Okay, but you seriously saved it all these years for me?” Levi asked, lifting up and turning slightly to be able to look Erwin in the face. “Ever since we first met? Why didn’t you make a move earlier?”
Erwin sighed deeply and shook his head. “I was honestly about to lose it before I met you. I had a girlfriend, and I was satisfied with the thought that I’d be living out the life people expected of me. Get a nice wife, have a couple of kids, and retire from the Regiment or die with the honor of leaving behind a nice family and being a strong man.” He looked up, his eyes never having shone so brilliantly before. “But then I met you, and I realized I needed to share such an intimate part of myself with somebody I truly cared about. And as for taking so long…”
He snickered and tapped Levi on his behind. “That’s your fault. I dropped so many hints…”
“You dropped so many hints?!” Levi interjected. “I was dropping hints every time we were alone together! Your nickname in my head is meathead because you never understood anything!”
“Er, I—” Erwin hesitated, his eyes dropping as he gathered his thoughts. “Now, wait a minute—”
“Ugh, it doesn’t matter,” Levi sighed, lifting a hand to Erwin’s cheek and stroking his famously sharp cheekbone tenderly. “It took too goddamn long, but we’re here. We…” He bit his lip before saying, “We made love.”
Erwin let out a bark of a laugh and threw his arms around Levi, pulling him in for a tight, bone-breaking hug. “And you said I was a softie!”
“Be quiet,” Levi demanded, pushing himself off Erwin’s lap and grabbing a tissue from his desk to clean himself up to the best of his ability before pulling his drawers and pants up. “By the way, how did you know where to touch me? It barely felt like I was having sex with a virgin.”
Erwin smirked. “I read pornography.”
Levi whipped around, his eyebrows halfway up his forehead. “Those pictures? There are ones with males?”
“Once you’re the commander, you can get a lot of things normal people can’t,” Erwin replied coolly.
Levi went silent, fumbling with his belt absentmindedly as he imagined Erwin masturbating to gay porn late at night. Dare he imagine that Erwin was thinking about him while masturbating, replacing the men’s faces with theirs? He was far too exhausted to get hard again, but damn it, could he still use his wonderful imagination. “Well, you won’t need that now that I’m here.”
Erwin chuckled and shrugged. “I suppose not.”
Levi finished fastening his belt, his cheeks heating up as he tried his best to ignore Erwin’s fond gaze on him.
“Stop staring at me and get back to work.”
“Oh, Levi, won’t you stay?” Erwin pleaded, reaching out to tug on Levi’s pants.
“With your come in my ass? I don’t think so,” he replied with a scoff. His first reaction was to smack Erwin’s hand away, but instead, he lifted it to his lips and gave his knuckles, which harbored a clean red bitemark from earlier, a soft kiss. “Besides, I only came in to drop off those documents and talk about them for a little bit. My side mission was to seduce you. I’ve been pretty successful today.”
Erwin grinned and nodded. “I have been thoroughly seduced.”
Levi was so in love. All he wanted to do now was get back in Erwin’s lap and kiss him until they both passed out. But he had to control himself. He just took the man’s virginity, they confessed both their feelings to each other, and he had to cope with the fact that he wouldn’t be able to walk straight the next day. He was exhausted.
He walked over to Erwin’s closet and pulled on one of his shirts since his had been ripped to shreds. It was far too big for him, which was both a blessing and a curse. He was far too tired to care about the curse—besides, it was late. He could run to his room without anybody seeing him, right?
“I’ll see you in the morning, Erwin,” Levi said after buttoning up the shirt.
“Can’t I seduce you to sleep in my bed tonight?” Erwin asked, standing up to fasten his belt and pad over to Levi. He towered over the captain, that pleading expression leaving Levi at a loss for any rejection words.
“I…” He’d never be able to say no to that face. “I won’t make it a habit. But since I took your virginity…” He tugged at Erwin’s belt, stumbling him forward enough so that his nose reached his downturned chin. “I can make an exception for tonight.”
Before Erwin could react, he added, “But I have to clean myself up. I’ll be back after my bath. You should probably take one, too.”
“Can’t we take one together?” Erwin asked in that pleading voice, but this time, Levi put his foot down.
“The entire Regiment probably heard us rutting about. Us going to the bath together is pushing it,” he said. When he saw the gloomy look that crossed Erwin’s puppy-dog face, he pulled the blond down by the back of the neck and smooched him hard enough to leave the other dazed. “I will see you in an hour. Goodnight.”
He shuffled out of the room before Erwin could object, closing the door and rushing down the hallway. He was smiling to himself, so excited that he made it out without being seen that he missed Moblit’s entire body in the middle of the hallway, bumping into him hard enough to get the other to grunt.
“Hey—oh, Levi!” Moblit exclaimed, quickly lowering his voice since it was late. “What are you doing out here at this hour?”
He stepped back, and it was comical how quickly his eyes dropped from Levi’s face to the oversized shirt he had on. It was less comical how they slowly drifted down the hallway to take in Erwin’s slightly ajar office door and how the lights were still on inside the room. Not to mention, Moblit certainly noticed how disheveled and sweaty Levi looked.
“What are you staring at?” Levi snapped, tugging the shirt tighter around his body as he shouldered past Moblit. “Get back to your post before I inform Commander Erwin about this.”
“So you’d go back to his office?” Moblit asked, hiding a snicker behind his hand. He barely saw the kick in the back of the knee coming, crippling him to the floor as Levi continued on his way.
“No more smart remarks from you, soldier,” Levi grumbled, slipping into his room and hiding behind the door. He walked to the bathroom and looked himself in the face: he was far too red. He knew he could trust Moblit to keep his secret—it didn’t make the encounter any less embarrassing.
Before long, he was bathed and clean. He made sure that the hallway was clear before sprinting down and slamming Erwin’s bedroom door closed behind him. He sighed, but before he could even turn around, Erwin’s hands were on him, around his waist, pinching his hips.
“You took too long.” Erwin had probably fallen asleep; his voice was gruff but melodic.
“Let’s go to sleep,” Levi whispered, turning around in his arms and taking in the refreshing cotton scent of his shirt.
“Mm.” They shuffled and practically fell onto the bed, Erwin out like a light before Levi could even adjust his position. He was convinced that they’d get up to some more funny business before falling asleep, but perhaps losing his virginity in addition to orgasming twice in one night was a little too much for the commander. It would have been too much for anyone.
Levi, fully believing Erwin was asleep, fit himself into his side. His head found a place on his muscled chest, the same one he had been envisioning himself laying on for far too long. And here he was, with that chest all to himself with no need to share it with anybody else. He draped an arm around Erwin’s waist and hugged him tighter.
“I like you, Erwin,” Levi whispered as he shut his eyes.
Erwin smiled to himself in the dark, his eyes fluttering open and casting down to take in Levi’s frame snuggled up against him. I like you, too, Levi, he thought. More than you could ever know.
153 notes · View notes
sovtwords · 3 years
Text
a king and his pawns
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pairing: kita shinsuke x reader x miya atsumu warnings: 18+, royalty!au, threesome (M/M/F), bisexuality, anal, double penetration, hand jobs, blow jobs, doggystyle, kissing with cum, dom/sub undertones, fluff, established relationship w/c: 7.7k a/n: -AO3 LINK HERE- This is a little side-story thing I wrote for a royal!au I haven't actually gotten around to writing yet so WELP. It's fine tho, this was written for Kita's bday and he deserves it. LOVE YOU!! This fic features men engaging in sexual acts together so if that ain't your cup of tea then feel free to back out if you're uncomfortable! I'm bad at writing smut anyway, you'd probably be doing yourself a favour lmao. Regardless, enjoy!! Please lemme know what you think.
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Kita Shinsuke was stressed. It’s not often the King loses his cool, but it seems as though life wishes to taunt him this week. Trade with Corvus has momentarily stopped due to an internal dispute meaning the Kingdom will be low on textiles for the unforeseeable future, a sudden drought has put the crops at risk, and Ginjima continues to test his patience with every new raid on the homesteads just outside of the kingdoms border - not within where Kita can arrest him, but close enough to be a thorn in his side.
He’s so very tired and so very alone, and everyone sees it as they convene for weekly meetings. They eye him with worry, yet he shrugs off every word of concern with the grace as befitting his title, though his Masters of War and Prosperity respectively eye him the most, the worry so potent on Lady Miya’s face he feels a warmth blooming in his chest. She even dares to lay a comforting hand on her king, and he allows only her to disregard her courtesies (not that she would ever forget them) and touch him. It’s nice to be treated well.
The meeting ends, and Kita is so close to retiring to his balcony to rest for a while until he notices that the happily married couple stay. “Ya alright there, Kita?” Atsumu asks, opting to drop all formalities and talk as friends like when they were younger. Kita’s glad for it.
“I’m fine,” he lies, and knows it wasn’t very convincing with the way they stare in disbelief. “Things are just tense right now. I’m sure we’re all feeling it,” he elaborates. Lady Miya takes his hand in hers once more, small fingers gripping tightly onto his. He keeps his eyes trained on them.
“That’s right, but you don’t have to burden this alone. It’s why you have your council. And you don’t have to hide anything from us. We’re here to listen to you, my King, so please – share your worries with us, so that you might feel better.”
Ah. His heart clenches with affection, and a soft smile grows on his face when he looks at the earnestness in your gaze, thumb idly stroking your fingers and momentarily forgetting that your husband is still in the room, sitting just to his left. But it’s so easy to forget that when his attention is focused on the right of the table, when Atsumu himself hasn’t said a word when normally he would screech if anyone dared get chummy with his wife, King or not.
“Thank you, my Lady. It warms my heart to know that you care so deeply,” he says carefully, pulling back with a quiet sigh. “But I’m fine, truly. I find that reading the books that you gifted to me helps me to relax.”
“I know another way ya might relax,” Atsumu interrupts before his wife gets sucked into a long conversation about stories.
“What is it?”
“Well, it’s something more suited for behind the doors of your chambers, if ya catch my drift,” Atsumu smirks, while his Lady looks appalled. Kita feels the tips of his ears burn but keeps his expression as stony as ever.
“That’s crude, Atsumu. And you know that I’m averse to…” he trails off awkwardly, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. Atsumu laughs.
“I know ya don’t take concubines. But that doesn’t stop ya from reading the spicier books in the library, does it?”
“What’s yer point, Atsumu?” He asks bluntly. Better to get whatever trick he has planned over and done with. The blonde smirks, eyes shifting between himself and his wife.
“Was just wonderin’ if ya wanted a private show, that’s all. My Lady here makes for quite the spectacle. Just a way for ya to destress.”
Lady Miya gasps loudly, a blush burning on her face as she stares at her husband in complete shock while Kita’s heart stalls in his chest.
Watch his friends while they… No. That’s a boundary he should not cross. No matter how many times his eyes have slipped downwards to where your chest is pushed upwards by the corsets of your newer dresses, or how smooth your neck looked when you lean over to discuss reports with him, he…no. Such intimacy should belong in their bedroom, not his. Right?
“Atsumu, that's not a funny joke. You should watch your mouth and apologise to your wife for embarrassing her“
“Hold on now, your highness, she didn’t say no.”
Kita blinks. Looking to where she sits, he sees the obvious humiliation on her face, clear as day as the heat on her cheeks. But with it, a look of conflict, a spark of curiosity in your eyes when they lock with his.
“I…If it pleases my King, then I don’t mind. I would do anything for my King,” she says resolutely, and the way your voice grows airy every time she speaks of his title sends sparks straight to his groin. He swallows harshly, opens and closes his mouth a few times as he feels the heat of Atsumu’s smirk boring down on him. It had definitely been a while since he’d done anything of that nature, but… was this really ok?
It’s silent for what seems like forever. Eventually Kita calls out to the servant standing outside the council room.
“Find the largest chaise you can find and have it delivered to my room. I want it there by tonight.”
God’s above, save him. He was really going through with this.
- - - - - - - -
Night has fallen, the castle is quiet.
He doesn’t know how he should act. It seems as though nobody except Atsumu knows how to act, if the way Lady Miya sits with her back straight as a pillar and arms folded politely in her lap was any indication. Atsumu lounges against the chaise in front of Kita’s bed with a drink in one hand and fingers twirling through the sash of your robe in the other , waiting for either Kita or his wife to make any sort of move, though it seems as though their nerves have gotten the best of them.
“Shy, Kita?” the blonde Lord asks. Kita gives an embarrassed furrow of his brows, but stays quiet. Atsumu chuckles. “Well then. Does my King agree to let me be the one in charge tonight?”
How treacherous of Atsumu to ask, but with no real idea on how to go about this, Kita relinquishes control with a mute nod of his head. Better to let Atsumu take the reins than for him to accidentally cross a boundary he was unsure of. Atsumu downs his wine in record time, and moves to place it on a nearby dresser before returning to his Lady. He takes hold of your face with such reverence and love that Kita has to look away and swallow down the bitter jealousy swirling like bile in his gut. He hears Atsumu whisper some reassurances to you, and nimble fingers undo the sash around your waist.
You stand up at Atsumu’s request, and he takes your spot on the chaise, posted in front of the King for his viewing pleasure. “Didn’t want ya to miss this,” Lord Miya says, and swiftly loosens your robes, letting them pool around your feet and laying bare your silky and soft flesh for Kita to see. Dark eyes rove over plump breasts, wide hips and thick thighs, and he’s convinced that no concubine in the world could ever compete with the beauty standing in front of him, made all the more sweeter that you’re a coveted treasure by your husband, making Kita the only other man to ever see you like this. It makes his cock twitch in his breeches, and makes Atsumu smile devilishly because he knows the effect this is having on his superior.
Your gasp alerts him to the fingers that have slipped between your legs from behind to cup your sex, brushing against the light hair that Kita wants nothing more than to bury his face in right now. “She’s as sweet as a peach, this one,” Atsumu coos, pressing all the right buttons and gifting Kita with moans and sighs that Angels would blush to hear. “As wet as one, too. Let’s show King Kita, shall we?”
Without prodding you sit in Atsumu’s lap and allow him to spread your legs wide, and the candlelight makes the slick gathering on your cunt and thighs glisten, Kita’s brain faltering at the sight. His body grows hot with want, with need , and he nearly rips his shirt off of his body, composure slipping with each second that passes. Atsumu offered to let him watch, but now he’s not sure if he’s content to be just a bystander.
You hum and squeal when Atsumu pushes two of his fingers past your folds, pushing in and out at a gentle pace that you’re no doubt familiar with as he prepares you for greater things to come. “Yer so quiet, Kita. Are ya not enjoying yourself?”
The Lady  looks at him then, a gentle pinch to her brows. “Are you…not satisfied with me, my King?”
Atsumu flashes an exaggerated pout over your shoulder. “Yeah, my King. After exposin’ my wife like this for ya, is she not enough?”
“She’s beautiful,” he chokes, clears his throat but it has little effect with how thick with lust his voice has grown. “She’s perfect.”
The smile on your pretty little face does funny things with his head.
“Ya hear that, my love?” Atsumu holds you close and rocks you side to side. “The King thinks yer beautiful. I dunno if many ladies can say that. Say thank you.”
“T-Thank you, my King. I’m honoured,” you grin. Kita gives you a small smile in return, though it falters at the edges when Atsumu catches you off guard and thrusts his fingers into you with great speed. It sounds wet and hot and Kita’s hand wraps around the bulge in his pants, stiff and begging to be touched, especially when the usually composed Lady Miya in front of him whimpers and pants like you’re in heat, moving your hips in sensual ways and locking eyes with Kita to steal the air from his lungs.
“A-Atsumu!” you gasp, wrapping a hand behind you to grasp the hair of your husband, but the smirk stays on his face, enjoying your plight. “Be gentle!”
“You love it,” he shushes you, planting kisses on your neck and biting down on your shoulder when you grow too rowdy. “Besides, we promised King Kita a good show, didn’t we? I have to prepare ya, don’t want ya cryin’ because yer tight hole wasn’t ready to be filled.”
You moan loudly when Atsumu brushes over your clitoris roughly, small hands moving to cover your mouth, and it’s the final push Kita needed to remove his trousers and take his cock in hand.
You watch in silence as he undresses, eyes immediately zoning in on the length and girth of his member, biting your lip for a different reason than when your husband removes his fingers from your core. Atsumu brings them up to the light to look at them curiously. They’re soaked from knuckle to fingertip, and when he pulls them apart tendrils of your slick keep them connected. Kita’s overcome with the desire to touch it, to touch you, see how you taste.
The smile Atsumu gives him sends chills through his body, as if his Master of War had read his mind.
“I think he wants a taste, my sweet,” Atsumu rubs soothing circles into your hip with his free hand, keeping his calculating eyes on his King. “What do you think?”
“The King can have whatever he wants,” is your answer, hiding a smile in your husband’s jawline while he laughs. Fuck, they were going to drive Kita insane. What surprises him even more, is instead of offering your pussy for Kita to lose himself in, Atsumu holds out his hand, like offering his fealty to the King once more as he had sworn so long ago.
“Then by all means, have a taste.”
There is a moment where it’s entirely too silent save for the heavy breathing Lady Miya is trying to get under control. A million thoughts run through Kita’s mind as his eyes flicker between Atsumu’s fingers, his childhood friends’ face, and the naked woman before him. It feels like entirely new territory, uncharted waters that Kita has only thought about dipping his toes into before running back out for fear of falling too deep into the water.
But in Atsumu’s eyes there's nothing but trust and desire, and in your eyes there's encouragement and adoration. His heart hammers in his chest, and burns with the overwhelming love and support from his closest. It makes his limbs move before his brain can catch up, leaning forward with his mouth opening while Atsumu’s grin grows wider, taking the digits in his mouth before hesitation can settle.
It’s strange, to suck on your best friend’s fingers, long and thick in his mouth, calloused from years of sword fighting as his tongue brushes against the pads of his fingertips. He can barely taste the saltiness of his skin though, as your sweet juices invade his senses like a summer wine, pure and sweet like the woman they came from. He grabs hold of Atsumu’s wrist when he makes to remove them, licking and scraping his teeth on them in a way that makes Atsumu’s breath hitch with widened eyes, and Kita mentally records it as a win before slowly releasing with a pop, lines of spit breaking the further away Kita gets as he takes his place on his bed once more, precum leaking from his slit.
It is Lady Miya who breaks Atsumu out of his trance with a gentle hand cupping his cheek and turning his attention back to the situation at hand. The smile on your face is light-hearted, if not mischievous, a gleam to your eye letting Kita know that you enjoyed what you just witnessed. “I think, dear husband, I’m ready to get fucked hard for the King.”
An impish grin blooms on Atsumu’s flushed face immediately at his wife’s forwardness. Honestly, Kita had never expected the Lady to be this way. You had always been on the reserved side, befitting your rank and lessons in etiquette. Quiet, polite, spoke when spoken to. If someone had told him a few years ago when Atsumu had introduced you to Kita when you were still giving the twins lessons in etiquette that he would be witnessing you in such a lewd position and answering all of the fantasies he had locked away, he would have almost laughed out loud at the absurd notion.
Funny how life works.
“Should we let his Royal Highness choose how I do it?” The blonde pushes his hair out of his eyes, and both Lord and Lady Miya look at him, eyes alight with interest.
“I…,” Kita clears his throat, brain bringing forth images of every position imaginable. He squeezes the base of his cock. Save it for the grand finale. “I want the Lady on her hands and knees facing me.”
That causes Atsumu to laugh in delight.
“Ah, takin’ her from behind, like mounting a bitch in heat,” he snorts. You pout at the language, but Atsumu kisses it away, lips pressing lightly against the bridge of your nose until you’re smiling again. “Never would’ve assumed ya liked it that way. Not very proper, is it?” Atsumu comments.
“Are you here to question your King on what he likes in bed, or are you going to deliver on your promise and show me somethin’ good?” Kita remarks.
Atsumu delivers another laugh as he lifts his wife off of his lap and places her onto the soft, cushioned chaise lounge as promised, knees spread apart and encouraging you to lean onto your elbows.
For a moment, as Atsumu undresses, he regrets not choosing a position that allows him to watch more closely as he enters in and out of you, but any complaints he has dies when Atsumu spits into his hand and rubs at his stiff member, lining it up with your entrance. Kita nearly cums all over his hand when he locks eyes with the woman across from him as Atsumu pushes in with a sigh of relief, no doubt seeking any sort of pleasure for his aching cock just like Kita. At least he has a pussy to bury himself in. King Kita just has his fist.
Your eyes flutter as Atsumu goes deeper into your tight cavern, groaning and furrowing your brows while you clutch onto the chair beneath you. You whimper when he bottoms out, and are only given a moment to adjust while Atsumu looks at Kita in question.
‘Shall I start?’, he seems to say.
Kita nods, and watches in perverse fascination as Atsumu rears his hips back and thrusts forward once more, making you choke on a scream as he sets a relentless pace, not holding anything back.
Your moans mix with yelps and screams of pleasure as your husband pounds into you from behind, round hands on soft hips and curls loosening from where they were pinned back on your head. Kita’s eyes stay glued to where your tits bounce with the force, hand finally giving him some relief and stroking his weeping cock, unwinding some of the tension in his shoulders and stoking the fire in his gut. He wants to reach out and fondle your chest, your nipples, but stays his hand, fear of crossing that damned boundary getting to him.
Atsumu is loud, he realises, almost as loud as his wife is right now. He groans and he growls like a wild animal, so overcome by the feeling of his Lady, of everything that she is, and praises fall from his lips like the water rushes down the mountain’s peaks.
“F-Fuck, yer so tight, I love it,” he grits, reaching over to grab hold of your chest like Kita wanted to do so badly. “So wet for me, for your King. Ya love getting fucked in front of him, practically beggin’ me for weeks.”
Kit almost feels as if he shouldn’t be hearing this conversation, but such crude words make him fist his cock faster, wet with precum and helping him ease the friction of hand to dick.
“A-Atsumu, I-”
“Don’t lie,” he laughs. He pinches your nippple roughly, and earns himself a gasp. “Every time ya called me yer sweet King, you were thinkin’ ‘bout him, too. Weren’t ya?”
You can say nothing, only look at your ruler with unbridled lust in your eyes. It’s getting harder to breathe now as he pumps his dick in time with his friend’s thrusts, entranced by the look on your face and Atsumu’s voice.
“Thought s-so,” Atsumu stutters when he rubs at your clit and you squeez hard. “Well, I’d do anythin’ for ya. Guess that includes fuckin’ ya silly in front of your King.”
Atsumu tsk’s and lifts your torso up so Kita can have the best seat in the house. Eyes stay glued to where they are connected, pistoning in and out of your walls and glistening with your slick. It brings forth images of wanting to get closer, let his tongue feel the both of them at once but it's so outlandish that it brings heat to his cheeks and pushes him closer to his release, chest heaving with exertion as everyone in the room reaches a crescendo like a symphony of sex.
That is until Atsumu stops abruptly, and it's so sudden and odd when the sounds of skin slapping cease that it causes everyone to lose their high, cooling down with irritation and impatience.
Atsumu's chest heaves air with great effort, yet his eyes are sharp as he regards his King.
"I think," he starts, easing out of his wife slowly, making you whine at the loss. "King Kita is lookin' a lil lonely. And it's our duty as his advisors and subjects to serve the King, right my love?"
You blink in surprise, when a smile curls at the corner of your lips, one that you definitely learned from your husband. Affection blooms on Atsumu's face at your reaction.
"We should give him a hand," the blonde declares, and suddenly he's carrying his wife over to the royal bed, laying you down gently against the rich, maroon satins and silks, hair splayed around you in rivulets like water. With equal parts curiosity and hesitation lacing his limbs, he moves further up the bed at Atsumu's insistence, coming face to face with you as you smiled kindly at him, lidded eyes and bottom lip plump from where you bite it.
He gives you one in return, one of the rare, genuine smiles he reserves for when he's with his closest and when he's happy. The sound of a throat clearing snaps his attention back to where Atsumu kneels at the end of the bed, cock bouncing against his lower stomach with every shift on the featherbed.
"Does my King allow us to do as we please with him?"
It's almost embarrassing how quickly he says yes, aching to feel the touch of something other than his own hand for once. Atsumu smirks.
“Wonderful.”
Moving closer, all three find themselves huddled in a circle of sorts, with two sets of eyes hungrily staring at him. Atsumu looks at his wife, and she stares right back. It becomes apparent to Kita then and there, that there is no imbalance between them. Though you may fold your hands when appropriate and open your mouth when addressed in broad daylight, though Atsumu’s words and hands guide you behind closed doors and you part your legs for him like a blossoming flower, they are, without a doubt, equals in every sense of the word. Atsumu gazes at you with such adoration it would give the poets something to sing about for centuries to come, and he is certain that if you were to give an order, Atsumu would bend and do it for you, no questions asked.
It’s funny - the Master of War and the Master of Prosperity; two things that could never work hand in hand, but ultimately make for a wonderful pair.
And it makes Kita’s heart yearn for even a drop, an ounce of what they share, for someone to look at him the way they do each other.
“Maybe I should give you some tips on how to go about it, my sweet,” Atsumu says, and it’s all the warning Kita gets before a large, rough hand wraps itself around his member. He jerks at the feeling, eyes wide at the blonde smirking before him, and he looks frantically at the Lady beside him who offers nothing more than a demure upturn of her lips.
“What are you doing?” demands Kita, but the words end in a choke when Atsumu’s thumb swipes over the head of his cock.
“I’m showin’ my wife how to please ya.”
“I-I think she w-would..” Kita has to stop talking to emit a whimper when Atsumu’s hand squeezes his dick. He swallows hard. “I think she would know how to please a man by now.”
“Hmm, yer right. She sure does know how to get me going, but…”
He removes his hand from Kita’s shaft for a brief moment to lift his wife’s leg, dragging a hand through your thighs and bringing it back to Kita’s erection, now slick with his wife’s juices and providing smoother friction.
“No harm in remindin’ her of the lessons. Watch carefully, love.”
It moves expertly up and down his length, knowing when to twist and squeeze, when to go fast and slow. Kita’s hips jerk up into Atsumu’s hand, unable to help the sighs and moans flying out from his chest. It feels good, so so so good, and a softer, more feminine pair of hands scrape gently over his chest, toying with his pert nipples and sending sparks straight down to his groin.
“He seems to like that,” you whisper, pressing your lips to the pulse in his neck. Kita is positive it must be ready to burst from his skin right now, yet still you suck and nip and paint his skin in the most delicate hues while your husband’s hand increases in speed. His other hand reaches down to fondle Kita’s balls, heavy and begging for release. Whines and whimpers grow louder as he approaches that sweet edge.
Atsumu hums. “He’s got a pretty cock, doesn’t he, my love? I bet you’re just drippin’ thinkin’ ‘bout it inside ya. Hungry for another man's dick.”
You shiver from your spot beside Kita, a hand scratching at his scalp and sending tingles down his spine, and a pink tongue poking out to lick at his nipples.
“P-Please…” Kita begs.
“Well, ’m hungry myself,” Atsumu continues, and swiftly dips down to take the head of Kita’s cock into his mouth, sucking hard while his hand never ceases its upwards and downwards motion. It's wet and hot, and the swirling of Atsumu's tongue around his tip, lapping up the precum that had gathered is enough to make Kita moan aloud in surprise and pleasure. His face glowing red as he desperately thrusts into Atsumu's mouth but his brain is too clouded with lust to feel embarrassed at this moment.
His fingers grip onto rich bed sheets as he loses himself in the heat of Atsumu’s mouth, that mischievous tongue of his being put to good use and stroking the vein on the underside of his prick before bobbing up and down in time with his hand. It’s almost overwhelming, feeling tongues on different parts of his body but it feels glorious, to have these mouths worship and love him like he craves but never says aloud.
It feels like Atsumu’s mouth is barely on him for a moment before Kita is grasping onto the nearest things he could latch onto, Atsumu’s head of hair and your hand conveniently already in his, and he holds onto both for dear life as he cums with a loud and long groan, releasing into his friends mouth with surprise and twitching with the aftershocks when Atsumu keeps him in his mouth for a tad too long.
“T-Too much, please,” he stutters, and Atsumu takes pity on him for the time being, laughing at how wild and unkempt his King looks right now.
“I guess you’ll have to test out yer skills next time. Come here,” hands reach for his Lady’s face, and he lets drops of Kita’s cum still in his mouth fall into your own open and awaiting jaws, sealing it with a kiss that’s all tongue and wildness. The perverse sight of them sharing his fluids makes his cock twitch to life again with alarming speed, but it’s also the words echoing in his ears that stick with him.
Next time. Implying that this won’t be a once off thing, a strange night to remember for years to come.
It makes him hard in seconds, even after spilling his seed in his friend's mouth.
If the couple beside him are surprised at his recovery time, only Lady Miya shows it with a raise of your eyebrows in pleasant surprise.
“Do you wish for more, my King?” you ask, traces of his load shining on the corners of your lips. He stops himself from reaching over to lick it off.
“Yes,” Kita sighs, and his chest seems to deflate with the motion, his words needy and wanting. “Please - keep going.”
“What do you want? Anything for you,” your hand cups his face with such gentleness he could cry. How sad it must be, for the simple touch of a person could be enough to shake him.
“I n-need you, I want you on top of me-” he has to stop himself with a sharp intake of breath. Eyes wide with fear look over to where Atsumu sits, a uncharacteristically stoic look on his face that makes Kita’s anxiety flare up. After a moment of silent contemplation, he opens his mouth.
“Does my King command it?”
It offers Kita a moment to rethink his words, to retrace his steps before they were taken. And as he looks at the faces of his friends for any signs of discomfort, looks at you for clear rejection, he sees no hesitation or resistance in either of their expressions. Only eagerness, anticipation for what could come. It strengthens his resolve.
“He does,” Kita says, with the air and grace of the King in power he is. And Atsumu grins like that cat who got the cream.
“Perfect,” he sings. “Lay back, yer Grace. Let us do everythin’ for ya.”
Doing as told, Kita finds himself a comfortable spot against the pillows and cushions, cock resting hard on his belly and watching as Atsumu coaxes his wife to straddle his hips. Hands fly instinctively to the squishy flesh of your hips and thighs, smooth like satin, and his grip on you only grows tighter once he feels just how wet you are, practically dripping onto his lower abdomen. It drives him mad with excitement, knowing he’s seconds away from shoving himself into your tight hole.
“Go on,” Atsumu encourages when you look back at him in question. “I’ll help ya when ya need me.”
Biting your lip, you peer down at Kita.
“I’m ready,” he assures you with a squeeze of your hips. You reach down to grab his member and he hisses when you pump him a few times, dragging it up and down your soaked folds. He worries his bottom lip at the sensation, and just when he gets used to it you line him up with your entrance and begin to sink down on him, ever so slowly.
He loses the ability to breathe when your warm heat engulfs him. His eyelids flutter, his toes curl, and they haven’t even gotten to the best part yet. Atsumu hums in approval when you finally sink down, hips flush with Kita’s, sighing in unison. You can’t help the grinding of your hips, trying to accommodate his size and girth, but it makes him growl and still your hips. “Give me a second,” he pleads. And you do, leaning down to give him his first kiss of the night. He can taste himself on your tongue, taste Atsumu along with him, and your tongues tentatively brush and move against each other as you grow accustomed to the feeling of your lips on the others.
He catches his breath when you pull away, blinking out of a stupor, and it seems as though Atsumu has had enough with waiting, for he clears his throat loudly. “Ready to get started?” They both nod. “Good.”
With that said, Atsumu holds on tightly to your hips, hands over Kita’s that stay locked on your flesh, and begins to slowly lift you off of his cock, only to push right back down. Kita groans at the fluttering of your gummy walls around him, head thrown against the pillows while Atsumu increases the speed and pace with which he picks his wife's body up, getting you into a mindblowing rhythm and bouncing you on Kita’s member.
Atsumu certainly dictates the speed and rhythm right now, and the coil in Kita’s gut begins to make a reappearance with every clench of your pussy around him. You’re both at the mercy of Atsumu, who alternates between stealing the air from Kita’s lungs with bringing your hips down hard and fast, or slowly and maddeningly gyrating your hips so that Kita presses against every spot inside of you, massaging that sweet, spongy flesh hidden deep inside that has you gasping out a strange mix of their names and clawing onto Kita’s chest for stability.
“That feel good?” Atsumu asks. He’s met with a chorus of moans and whines from his Lady and his King, but he isn’t satisfied with that. “I said, does that feel good?”
“Y-Yes, my Lord!” You gasp, and are rewarded with kisses and nips to your neck by your husband. Dark eyes peer at Kita over your shoulder, demanding an answer from him as well.
“Yes,” the white haired man grunts. “F-Feels so fuck- fucking good.”
“My, my! Our King has a naughty mouth. My sweet, how does his cock feel?”
Your moans are light and breathless when Atsumu rocks your hips back and forth. Your juices stain Kita’s abdomen, and he’s tempted to reach out and swipe some up on his finger to lick. “He feels so big! So so so big, it’s too much, it’s- oh!”
Kita is almost as surprised as you are when Atsumu guides his King’s hand to your swollen folds, showing him how to rub at your clit with practiced motions. You careen in response, hips moving erratically and crying about how good it feels.
“Tell him, not me,” Atsumu laughs.
“Oh, my King, my sweet King, you feel amazing. I love your cock so much, stuffin’ me full, I can’t take it, I love it I love it I love it!”
Your praise, your words, the heat of your cunt; it all goes straight to his head and his heart, and the coil in his gut tightens dangerously, ready to burst his seed into you and fill you up, but Atsumu has your plans before he can reach his peak.
Atsumu lifts your hips up one final time, but doesn't bring them back down. The disappointment in the room is immeasurable, denied a high once more when they were just so close to falling off the edge. Lady Miya whines loudly and impatiently, having been denied her orgasm twice now.
"I know, baby, I know," Atsumu coos, pets your hair and soothes the furrow of your brows. "But I was gettin' a lil lonely over here. I wanna join in."
Your eyes light up in question, staring at him questioningly and obeying when he orders you to bend over. Chest to chest with Kita, the King cradles you closely, brushes loose strands of hair out of your eyes, and allows himself a simple peck to your lips, one that you return with two of your own.
But you jump in shock when Atsumu spreads your cheeks apart and spits loudly onto your rear.
"Atsumu! You...you mean to-"
"Shh. You trust me, don't ya?"
"Always," she answers without hesitation, and the smile he gives you is warm and full of love.
"Then just wait," he rubs a finger over your puckered hole, spreading the spit and watching in fascination how it responds to his touches. He loves your cunt like a drunk loves his wine, but your ass is just as addictive. Really, any part of you is more than enough for him.
You bite your lip when a finger dips in, struggling to accommodate the invasive digit. Kita distracts you with more kisses, hands on your breasts, pulling at your hardened nipples and drinking in your moans like he's breathing in the fresh air of the morning.
"You are so beautiful," he whispers in your ear, watching over your shoulder as Atsumu adds a second finger, pumps them in and out so carefully. The blonde reaches around to lightly toy with your clit - not enough to make you cum, but enough to make you relax and less restrictive. "He's lucky to have married ya."
"Shinsuke," she sighs into his own ears, and it sends shivers down his spine. It's very rare people can address him as Kita without his title, let alone his first name, but it sounds so beautiful coming from the lips of his friends.
"Yer doin' so well," Atsumu praises, free hand massaging the globe of your ass cheek once Kita’s clumsy fingers take over the role of rubbing your nub. "Stretchin' ya out real good. You want both of our cocks, don't ya?"
"I do, I want them so bad-"
"Think you can handle us?"
"Yes, please! God, Tsumu, I wanna be stuffed with both of your cocks-"
"Damn, you get loud when yer needy." Atsumu drags his erection through the folds of your pussy, gathering as much of your juices to coat his dick once again before he lines it up with your back entrance. "We'll take things nice and slow."
It seems as if Atsumu is reassuring more than just his wife with that statement, and Kita is grateful for it.
You bite down on the skin of his shoulder when Atsumu removes his fingers and presses the tip of his dick at your hole. You’re clenching hard and gasping at the stretch, and Kita works with Atsumu to soothe your cries and kiss away your tears.
He kisses your lips when you give a harsh wail as Atsumu presses in further, not even halfway in yet but groaning at how tight it feels. He spits once again where you're both connected while you twitch and sigh as Kita's fingers return to your swollen bud.
"Yer doing amazing, such a good girl," Kita peppers your cheeks with light kisses, and with one last thrust Atsumu is fully seated with his cock in your ass, glassy eyed and chest heaving with tension as he gives the pair of you a moment to adjust.
He bends over to lick and kiss a line up your spine. "Your turn Shinsuke." Kita stalls, wondering for a moment if you really are ready to take them both at once, but Atsumu mistakes his silence for hesitation. "Need help with that?"
Lord Miya reaches down to gently guide Kita towards your sopping hole, and he sucks in a breath as your hips lower agonisingly slow to sink down on him until both of their members are filling you to the brim.
You're a panting and whining mess atop of him, fighting to catch your breath whilst Kita fights to make sense of what he's feeling right now. He can nearly feel Atsumu press against him through a thin layer inside of your pussy, every budge of his hips making his chest tighten at the friction.
"Tell us when to move," your husband says. After a moment of getting used to the stretch with little twitches of your hips, you nod frantically.
"I'm OK, you can move."
"I'll let Kita do the honours," Atsumu smirks.
Lifting his legs higher up the bed for leverage, Kita gives an experimental thrust into your core. It feels so good when you clamp down with a whimper, and so he does it again, and again, until he's set a slow but steady rhythm and enjoys the look of pleasure on your face, the way you bite your bottom lip to keep from moaning too loud but failing miserably.
Gradually becoming more comfortable and succumbing to pleasure, Atsumu begins to move gently, pulling out slowly and pressing back in, so as not to disrupt Kita’s flow but your reaction is immediate, a sharp gasp and a whine for more, arching your back and trying to reach behind to your husband. He leans over to allow you to thread fingers through his hair, and begins to grind faster into you, trying to match Kita’s pace and intensity.
“S-Shit, yer so tight, yer... fuck-” he curses and stutters his hips. “God I love ya- I love ya so much.”
“Please, g-give me m-more!”
“My pretty little slut,” he coos, and you sob into Kita’s chest. “So- fuck, so fuckin’ greedy. You wanna get fucked hard?”
“Gods, yes! I want to be full of your cum, please please please-”
“S-Shit,” he swears, and Kita watches as the careful, calculated look Atsumu kept in his eyes all night suddenly turns wild, frenzied, just about ready to tear you apart like you desired. “You asked for it, pretty girl.” He gives Kita a look. “Ready?”
The King nods. “Ready.”
The blondes' lips curl up at the edges, and you’re only given a moment before both sets of cocks begin ramming into you with such great force that it has you falling on top of Kita, where he wraps his arms around your frame to keep you steady. Words turn into coherent babbles and cries as they piston in and out of you in near perfect unison, and it’s the friction Kita so desperately craved as your wet walls and Atsumu’s shaft rub him so deliciously that his orgasm rears it head once more, building so perfectly and steadily that he feels like he’s reaching Cloud Nine.
Kita unwinds one of his arms from around your waist to reach Atsumu’s ass to give the flesh an affectionate squeeze, causing him to meet Kita’s eyes over your head. Atsumu leans down to capture Kita’s lips in a sloppy kiss, one that’s more tongue and spit and passion than anything else, and the King barely has any second to catch air when he pulls away before your tongue prods at his lips, lips that he opens willingly like heavenly gates. And when Atsumu joins in again, and he feels two messy sets of tongues invade his mouth, one rough and demanding, the other soft and sweet, he can do nothing more than let out a whine and try to keep up with the wonderful sensations taking hold of his body.
He’s given some reprieve when Atsumu pulls back to sit up, grasping at your hips and fucking into you so fast you’re stupefied, mouth hanging open and drooling on Kita’s chest. He doesn’t mind - rather, he doesn’t really notice, too busy focusing on your bouncing tits in front of his eyes, on the occasional brush of Atsumu’s sack on his skin, and the rising coil in his gut, ready to snap at any moment.
Hips jump erratically off the bed when Atsumu rubs at your clit hard and fast, nearly crushing Kita’s cock from how tightly you squeeze the both of them as your husband brings you to your mind shattering end.
“I’m cumming! I’m- I-”
It’s all you’re able to say as your peak washes over you in waves of heat, and he feels your juices gush out on top of his skin as you do so. Fuck, he’s nearly there, so close, just a bit more-
“I’m c-close, I’m so close-” Kita stutters.
“Cum for me,” Atsumu growls, pounding into your ass with abandon while you fall onto Kita’s torso, arms wrapped around his neck and sobbing so pitifully in his ear. “Cum for us, Shinsuke.”
It’s the push he needed. He’s shooting his seed into your core with a strangled shout, pumping load after load right into you while Atsumu follows, unloading into your ass with a curse and a moan of your name, going balls deep and spilling all that he has while your walls milk them for all that they have.
Atsumu collapses on top of both of you with a tired sigh, and while Kita’s body protests at the added weight, his mouth can’t quite catch up with his brain at the moment, so he simply lays there as the heat of the room falls over all of you like a blanket.
Both cocks begin to soften inside of you. Ever so gently, they pull out, seed escaping your holes and dripping slowly onto the sheets as you whine at the loss and clench around nothing, feeling so terribly empty and almost wishing they had stayed inside of you. But it gives you an opportunity to rest, and Atsumu flips you on your side until he’s laying you down on the bed, littering kisses all over your body and singing praises about how well you did for them, how much of a good girl you are.
You smile sleepily, exhaustion overtaking your limbs, and Kita can only cup your face and rub his thumbs on your cheekbones, uncertain if kissing you would be crossing a line now that the deed has been done. You arch into his touch while Atsumu leaves to get a cloth.
“Was that ok for you, my King?”
Ah. Of course you would put him above yourself. He smiles warmly at that.
“That was wonderful. You were perfect,” he answers honestly, and you practically glow with pride at his words. When Atsumu returns, Kita takes the cloth, opting to be the one to clean the mess between your legs. It’s the least he could do after all that they’ve done for him.
It grows silent once he finishes, looking over to see Atsumu holding you close from behind. Your eyelids are drooping and your eyes grow hazy with every kiss and rub Atsumu gives to you, yet when Kita is about to excuse himself, to find solitude in a bath and let the married couple have his bedchambers for the night, you reach out to him, wanting to hold him, his face, to bring it close to you and trap him for the night.
“Are you sure it’s alright for me to…” he trails off with uncertainty. Atsumu snorts, offering him a kind and warm smile.
“The Lady always gets what she wants,” he jokes, and Kita lets out a fond laugh. “Besides - yer the King.”
“I don’t want to overstay my welcome,” he replies. And he means it. But his heart begs for the opposite, for you to not let him go and let him rest his head on your heart.
It seems as though you hear his thoughts.
“I want you to stay,” you murmur, sleepy but resolute in your words. “Do you want to stay?”
His eyes flicker back and forth between husband and wife. He could leave. He could end things right here, pretend like tonight never happened and go on existing as King like he always has. Things would become too complicated if he stayed. He knows this. And yet…
“I do,” he whispers, and curls into the warmth of your chest while Atsumu rubs at his hair with a fondness not common in him. Kita feels, for once in his life, at home. No castle too big and warm can ever compare to this. “I do want to stay.”
“Well then,” Atsumu says warmly, while you finish his sentence.
“Stay.”
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agustdakasuga · 3 years
Text
Between The Bloodshed | Chapter 22
Genre: Mafia!AU, Angst, Romance, Fluff
Pairing: OT7 x Reader
Characters: Doctor!Reader, Gangster!Namjoon, Gangster!Seokjin, Gangster!Yoongi, Gangster!Hoseok, Gangster!Jimin, Gangster!Taehyung, Gangster!Jungkook
Summary: Being a freelance doctor, this was just supposed to be any other job, helping a private client and taking care of him through his recovery. But you were not expecting to get caught in something so much darker that would change your life entirely.
Finally, it’s time for everything to come to an end. 
Warning: This story is fictional and has nothing to do with real life events or the actual members of BTS. It may contain depictions of violence, blood shed/ gore and mentions of abuse. Please read at your own discretion.
Chapter warning(s): Mentions of abuse, violence, gore, blood and death. There is weapon use in this chapter.  
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The door opened, letting the light shine in again. You didn’t even bother lifting your head. Everything in your body ached. How long have you been here? You weren’t really sure anymore. 
“Breakfast.” The sound of the tray being placed down. 
“Not hungry...” You mumbled, pressing your cheek against your arm as you looked to the side. Then you felt a light nudge against your ankle. That made you lift your head slightly. Instead of sitting at his usual corner, he was sitting opposite you, the tray between you. 
“Eat.” He said. 
“I’m not hungry right now.” 
“Why?” You didn’t even reply to that. You let out a yawn, followed by a sigh. The tray was pushed against your leg again. 
“You’ll need the energy.” He said, undoing the binds around your wrists. You didn’t really understand what he meant but you also didn’t really have the mood to banter today. 
“Eat.” He repeated. When he was done, he stood up straight and headed back to his same spot to sit. You gave him a look, pushing the food around the tray. 
“Thanks...” You murmured and took your first bite. Unlike your other meal chats, you were silent, taking small bites of your food here and there. 
“I’m done.” You pushed the tray away. More than half the tray of food was left. The tray was picked up, followed by retreating footsteps and the door closing. You stared at the wall until you realised. 
He didn’t bind your hands back. 
“What...?” You looked around to see if there was someone else in the room. This wasn’t a trap. You scrambled around until you saw, under the water bottle left behind, a key was hidden.
“Please, please.” You chanted, jamming the key into the keyhole on the ankle brace. When the lock shifted, you almost cried out in relief. 
“Where’s the exit?” You bunched up your skirt, trying your best to tie it together so it wouldn’t hinder you when you run. The first thing you did was press your ear to the door to hear for footsteps. There were no sounds outside but you still poked your head out to look first. The coast was clear so you made a break for it, running down the hallways. 
“Come on.” You panted, trying to find the exit but this place seemed like a maze. You guessed that you were probably in some warehouse, judging by the sheet metal walls and concrete floors. 
“She’s gone!” 
“Find the girl!” 
“This way!” You heard shouts behind you and quickened your pace. But all the hallways looked the same. You just kept running, hoping to find an open door or exit soon. 
“Aish!” Someone grabbed your wrist, yanking you to hide behind another wall. You pressed your back against the wall, seeing two guys run past you. 
“Why are you still here?” The male beside you panted. 
“I couldn’t find the exit. This place is a freaking maze.” You said through gritted teeth. He shook his head. As you were opening your mouth to speak again, he hushed you, taking his pistol out of his holster. 
“Take this.” 
“Are you crazy?! I can’t shoot a gun.” 
“I’m not asking you to go crazy and start shooting up the place. Just use it to get away if you need to. Pull this back, aim and shoot. I’ll buy you some time. The exit is down this hallway, make a right. Now go!” He shoved you in the direction of said exit. You turned to look back. 
“What about you?” You panicked. 
“Just go! I’m buying you time. And I have an extra.” He waved his spare pistol in the air. Even if you wanted your freedom, you were still hesitant. 
“Go and don’t look back.” He said before separating from you. You continued running, shaky hands holding onto the gun by your side. Finally, at the end of the hallway, you saw the door. 
“Please.” When the knob turned, your heart soared. Was this really the thing separating you from your freedom now? 
“Where do you think you’re going?” One of the men stood on the other side of the door. You didn’t have a choice, you lifted the gun. The male took a weary step back. 
“Just let me go. And I won’t shoot.” You threatened. 
“Well...” You saw his hands moving to reach for his weapon. On instinct you clicked the gun and shot his shoulder. He cried out in shock as he went down. 
“Move again and you’re dead.” You held the gun over him as you clicked it into place again. But your victory was short lived when you felt an arm wrap around your neck. You would have thrashed around or try to hit him but you felt the coolness of a blade press against your neck, right where you jugular was. That made you immobile. 
“Drop the gun.” He said into your ear. You were defeated, dropping the weapon onto the ground. 
“Walk.” He pulled you backwards and you followed, your feet shuffling backwards. You watched with longing eyes as the door got further and further. Just like that, whatever light you saw slowly disappeared. 
“Tell boss I found the girl.” He told another person before throwing you back into that room. 
“Oh doctor, you just had to try and escape. That’s cute.” The boss said, circling around you. You panted, lifting your head to shoot him a glare. 
“You even shot one of my men. I’m impressed.” He clapped. 
“But because of you...” The boss waved for the other men to bring in the male who helped you escape. He had been roughed up for sure, his eye was bruised and parts of his face swollen up. 
“Take it out on me. Leave him out of this.” You growled. 
“Aww, isn’t that cute? Both of you fighting to play the hero. But unfortunately, this is a matter of betrayal.” The boss kicked him, making the already injured male groan in pain. He managed to peep open his eyes to make eye contact with you. 
“But first, tell me, boy. Why betray your family? Don’t tell me you have fallen for her charm like those stupid Bangtan boys.” He threw his head back in laughter. 
“Family?” He scoffed but coughed right after, spewing out blood. 
“I took you in, took care of you and provided for you. This is how you repay me?” He began to rain more punches and kicks on the boy, making him wince and moan in more pain. 
“Stop it!” You shouted. 
“Don’t worry, doc. I promise, after this, it’s your turn.” He laughed. That was when he took his gun out, the other men that watched lifted the boy up for their boss to press the barrel of the gun right against his forehead. Your heart sank. This boy didn’t deserve to die for helping you. Now you regretted everything that you ever said to him. 
“Any final words?” The boss asked. 
“It’s all my fault, I never should have...” You shook your head, tears slipping down your cheeks. 
“It’s not your fault... It was me, holding onto the last bit of my independence.” He smiled before a deafening bang sounded through the room. Blood spattered out from the back of his head and onto the wall, the bullet having gone right through. 
“Hasn’t there been one time where you felt that you could never do anything for yourself? Then when you’re given that bit of independence, to finally do something for yourself, that’s all you want to hold onto?”
Those were your words. 
“That was touching.” The boss wiped a fake tear. The body fell forward, a small blood pool forming under his head. You wanted to throw up. 
“Now, as for you, doctor.” The boss turned to you. 
“Just shoot me.” You dared, done with all this. Maybe death was really the better option now.
“Tempting but no can do. I need you here for the final show. And our main guests aren’t even here yet. But don’t worry, you won’t wait too long. I think they’ll be here very soon.” The boss smiled. 
“Rough her up before they come.” The boss told him men before leaving.
“Finally. Payback. After what Jungkook did to me back then.” The petty male landed the first punch, followed by kicks. Usually, you were try to cocoon yourself to protect yourself but you just couldn’t take your eyes off the bleeding body before you. His eyes were still open, staring at you. 
“I’m sorry.” You whispered to him as you cried silently. 
-
“Remember our priority. Get (y/n) out of there. Then we kill the boss.” Namjoon reminded. The 6 boys nodded their heads. They were getting close to finding you and bringing you home. 
“Whoever finds (y/n) first, just take her to one of the cars and get her to the nearest hospital. The rest of us will handle the boss.” Jin said. 
“Let’s go.” They all ran towards the big warehouse. With every other possible hideouts having been search and burnt, this was the only place left. When the men saw them, they immediately got into position, their boss having told them prior to expect the 7. But all the boys saw was red. Bullets were shot and blades were swung. 
“Ugh!” Jimin went down as he was attacked by two men but Taehyung swung his bat, hitting one straight in the head while Jimin drove his sword into the other’s abdomen. 
“Thanks.” Jimin nodded to Taehyung, running forward and jumping to hide slash as a few men. Jungkook tackled some men to the ground.
���We’re wasting time.” Hoseok grunted as he shot someone. Jin used the handle of his gun to knock some guys out. 
“Split up!” Yoongi shouted and they all went their separate directions. 
“Watch my back.” Yoongi said to Hoseok and Jimin as he checked the rooms. They were all empty, except for some storage items. Namjoon and Jin opened a room, where more men of the gang were. That led to more wasted time trying to fight them off. Taehyung and Jungkook moved together. 
“Damn our luck. I hope the others were better than us.” Jin laughed sarcastically as Namjoon punched some men. He reloaded his guns and shot at whoever tried to come at them. 
“Jungkook! Get down!” Taehyung pulled the maknae down. Although they wanted to fight, they had to save energy and ammo. 
“Find them! They’re somewhere around here.” A group of men ran past them. 
BEEP BEEP
“Yoongi hyung’s team found the boss.” Jungkook said as he checked his pager. Once the coast was clear, they moved to the location that was sent to them. The 7 of them met up again. 
“He's in there. I heard the men talking.” Jimin informed. With that, Jungkook backed away slightly before kicking the door down and running in. The boys all stood there, blood staining their clothes. They could feel it, the end of everything was nearing. As they came face to face with their enemy, the one who took you. 
“Welcome.” He smirked from his comfortable spot on the couch. 
“Where is she?!” Jimin pointed his katana at him, the blade merely a few inches from his face. 
“Ah, ah. I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” He taunted, waving his hand. That was when you were brought in, kneeling in front of the couch. Your dress was dirtied and you were beaten up, bruises and cuts littering your face and limbs. 
“(y/n)...” Jungkook called out softly. Your eyes were lidded as you swayed dangerously. You were losing consciousness, fast. It was obvious from the dried blood trail on your temple. Even when a pistol was pressed to the back of your head in a threatening manner, you didn’t flinch. The boys took a step forward. 
“One more step...” The boss threatened and the male that held the pistol clicked the gun into place. 
“What do you want?” Namjoon growled. 
“Oh, how great man fall. All for a single woman. Honestly, I couldn’t believe my ears when I was told that the dangerous Bangtan had fallen for a girl, some doctor. That was until I saw it for myself.” He started.
“I wanted to know just what about her was able to bring the 7 of you to your knees. Then, I met her.” He turned to you. 
“I can see why you all adore her.” Using his finger, he lifted your chin. There were a few growls and fist clenches. He side eyed the boys, liking the reaction that he was getting out of them. 
They hated it. They hated the fact that you were right in front of them and yet, they couldn’t save you if they wanted you alive. They hated that they were the reason that you were in this position. You weren’t supposed to be here, you were supposed to be well protected in their house, there to heal them when they got hurt.
“I’ll ask again. What is it you want?” Namjoon asked through gritted teeth. They were all resisting the urge to shoot the man in front of them. 
“The Bangtan empire. You all don’t deserve what you have. You don’t have what it takes to run such an empire when you’re so weak for a mere woman.” The boss said in frustration. 
“That’s it? You want money? Our companies?” Yoongi glared. 
“Sure.” The boss shrugged. The boys were suspicious. There was no way this man went through all this trouble just for their empire. 
“Take it.” Jin said. 
“Also, I might keep the doctor with me. She’s fun to have around. Her skills and feisty attitude would be a great addition to my gang.” He smirked. This man was just playing them now. 
“Over my dead body.” Taehyung sneered. Whatever it is, they were going to make sure that you went home with them today. Alive. 
“Looks like we have a problem then.” The boss grinned. 
“Take one step closer.” Hoseok threatened the few men he saw slowly getting closer. It was obvious that they were waiting for the boys to put their guard down attacking them. 
“I changed my mind, I don’t just want your empire.” The boss shrugged. That had been the goal all along. He wanted to make sure that Bangtan is ended here, permanently. And that he would be the one to end them. Namjoon’s eyes followed the movements of the boss. 
“Unfortunately, you don’t have the upper hand. Unless you want to say goodbye to the doctor.” He smirked at Namjoon. 
“Drop your weapons. Go on.” He commanded. One by one, the boys dropped their weapons. With another wave of the hand, the men moved in on them. The boys grit their teeth, fighting to urge to fight back as they were hit. 
“See? Weak.” The boss scoffed. 
BANG! 
The boys froze, turning around. Everyone else stopped. That was when they saw the man, who was holding the gun to your head, on the ground, dead. You stood shakily, holding the pistol in your hand as you aimed directly at the boss. 
“Next time... remove the dead guy’s extra gun before you leave his body...” You smirked. The boss turned to you.
“Tell them to move back.” You demanded. 
“You wouldn’t dare...” He taunted. You clicked the gun, showing that you weren’t joking. Oh, how to tables have turned. If you managed to shoot the other guy already, you didn’t have a problem killing the boss too. Remembering the boy’s fallen body, it only made you angrier. Sensing your threat wasn’t empty, the boss nodded for his men to fall back. 
“(y/n)...” Jin called out softly. 
“A life for a life.” You pulled the trigger, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you collapsed. Luckily, Jungkook was quick to run over and catch you before you could hit the ground.  
“You did well, leave the rest of us.” He whispered. Your shot didn’t kill the boss, only managing to hit him in the thigh. 
“Get her out of here.” Yoongi said to the maknae. He nodded, running out of the place with you in his arms. 
With their boss down and most likely going to die, the other men just surrendered, putting their hands up. The 6 remaining Bangtan boys stood over the boss, who was writhing on the ground in pain. 
“Tell your girl... The boy that was killed because of her... His name is also Jisung... Just like her dear nephew.” He still managed to force out a laugh. 
“You want our money?” Jin gave the first kick. 
“You want our empire?” Namjoon gave the second. 
“You mess with our girl?” Jimin stepped on his thigh, pushing the bullet further into his flesh. He screamed out, straining. 
“We’ll see you in hell.” Taehyung raised his metal bat, slamming it down. They just watched emotionlessly as Taehyung beat the man’s face in. He coughed, choking on his blood as he tried to crawl away. 
“Where are you going?” Hoseok kicked him back. Imaging all the torture and abuse you went through fuelled their anger. The others killed the other men. 
No one was to be spared. 
“We have to go before the cops come.” Namjoon stopped Taehyung. Taehyung took a step back with a smirk, rubbing away the blood that managed to splatter on his cheek. Yoongi took the gun out that he had brought for good measure. He placed the barrel of the gun right over the man’s chest, clicking it back slowly. With a smile, he pulled the trigger. 
“For good measure.” Jin shrugged with a smile and shot two more bullets. 
“That’s enough. Let’s go. We have more important things to do.” Namjoon waved the gang over. Right now, they should prioritise your condition. Same as always, Yoongi grabbed a lighter, torching the place down. 
“Don’t forget to send a gift to the governor to thank him for putting out all the fires.” Hoseok laughed. Namjoon hummed. 
~~
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