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#he has shown more than enough to understand what he really feels
upsidedowngrass · 11 months
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i will say one of my Biggest pet peeves in one fanworks is 'liam becomes the new airy.' like im sorry i respect u and ur interpretations and ur creative interests !!! im glad ppl have fun and have ideas about post canon one, theres a lot of potential there!!!! but also the moment that i see a work have liam do this i instantly stop paying attention
#not putting this in the tag cus i dont wanna make ppl feel bad!!!#and like. i HAVE seen works that mildly explore it but in a way that i kinda like#but its just. it bothers me So Bad#like it contradicts every trait liam has ever shown in the series AND all of his motivations#'ppl qct ooc under stress!' yeah but it doesnt make ppl act in ways Completely diff from who they r... like hes still liam#at that pt hes just a whole new CHARACTER#but its like. his ENTIRE motivation is that he wants to stop anyone else from going what he went thru. will do anything to prevent that#itd literally undo what makes his entire character him at all to have him go back on that. thats literally his most prominent motivation#its SO intrinsically tied to him as a character#like yeah!!! him and airy are both isolated in that world. there are strong similiarities between their characters#but they still went theu snth DISTINCTLY different.#airy died and was isolated. liam was kidnapped and then isolated. it feels just different enough that i CANT see how#liam would just end up as 'airy 2.' their experiences may be similar but theyre still extremely different#and its like. ive said it before but i think julien is meant to serve WAY more of a parallel to liam than airy is#if theres anything i think liam would do if he couldnt get home? it would be to try and try and try#until hes just... not going anywhere#his stubbornness (and juliens stubbornness for that matter) is vital to understanding his actions.#hed never stop even if it meant he REALLY never stopped. and i think thats just as emotionally impactful#and? even if he WERE to act ooc. uh#tbh? i think hes terrified of dying. he does NOT like it. i think esp after the waiting room hed dread it bc all he knows of it#is that hell just keep dying and dying. or end up just stuck there forever#but. if he were to start rly going against his established traits. i think hed more sooner off himself than start s3#ESP since it is his own concern for others that makes him act the most Against his own self in the entire series#when he tries to kill airy. bc he couldnt stand the idea of everything continuing#and airy doing this to more ppl. THAT is what is strong enough to make him go against his own personality#and i think its too deeply intertwined into his character for him to try to deal with isolation by kidnapping people#esp not owen.#suicide mention#ANYWAY. these tags r long#OK TO RB BTW if u want i just didnt tag it bc i dont wanna make any1 goin thru the tag sad or anything
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bloominstorm · 2 years
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Like… is Takemichi gonna die..
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#let me just say I’m disappointed in Mikey’s backstory/POV#we’ve been waiting for fucking ever to finally hear his thoughts and see what makes him tick and we got subpar shit tht didn’t explain#everything like WHY DOES HE HAVE THESE DARK IMPULSES IT WASNT BC OF HIS PARENTS DEATH OR SHINICHIRO#HES BEEN LIKE THIS EVEN BEFORE HIS MOTHER DIED AND HE DIDNT REMEMBER HIS FATHER BESIDES ONE MEMORY#then we finally get to see Mikey’s unfiltered and raw thoughts on shit tht happened and all the important shit gets ignored and the shit#shown is rushed and doesn’t really reveal shit??? like why didn’t we get more on his true feelings about takemichi#i for one wanted to know if his friendship/affection was genuine considering we’ve seen how he really is and how he has no issues trying to#kill him.. like did he only fuck with Takemichi because of his similarities with shinichiro it’s like wakui started on it then said fuck it#back to Takemichis POV it’s so annoying and not rewarding at all for readers who’ve been waiting on this#Mikey talked about Kisaki more than Takemichi Thts just ridiculous#also can we PLEASE get his feelings on Draken’s death like why tf are we still waiting for tht#but Mikey is fr evil af because he’s completely aware of what he’s doing and he’s still trying to kill his old friends#dude didn’t you leave to protect them I understand they came to you but beating them down is enough why are you actually trying to kill#takemichi like he’s genuinely trying to beat him to death and he’s doing this consciously#i get he’s far gone but there’s no way to come back from this#also Takemichi is literally so close to death wtf I wasn’t wakui to give Takemichi anything really since it’s clear he hates him and is up#Mikey’s ass but my God why have him just charge in endlessly to just get his ass beat are we gonna see some variety#like my dudes vision and hearing are literally impaired now because of Mikey’s deranged ass when is enough gonna be enough 😭#but now with the vision he got now I’m hoping this will give him the upperhand in the fight#because I’m actually tired of seeing him get his ass beat it’s enough now#he’s been getting dogged the whole series can he FINALLY have his moment fr#like an actual moment where he’s not the punching bag??? he had it against Kisaki but tht was bittersweet since he wasn’t the one to#actually kill his annoying ass#so at this point I’m over Mikey and want him taken out so like..let’s get on tht#tokyo revengers spoilers#Tokyo revengers 266
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bloodsbane · 2 months
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so i really liked this part in the snack/sorbet episode, and since i've been in a Think About Dunmeshi mood the last couple days, i've been trying to interrogate why this little moment caught my attention (besides the fact it's cute and appealing animation-wise - i especially like the movement of chilchuck pulling his head back up and gesturing with his hand afterwards)
i guess the short answer is it's a nice moment between chilchuck and laios. like, to me, it's an oddly... not vulnerable position, but maybe more open for chilchuck? it's a couple things: the POV shot emphasizes the fact that he has to tilt his head up and back to look at laios because of the height difference, and i know it's been shown (mostly in bonus material i think) that laios tries to be careful about how he interacts with chilchuck because chilchuck doesn't like feeling infantilized for his size (like laios not obviously bending/kneeling down to hug him, as an example). like, chilchuck could've still turned his head while looking up, or even walked backwards to look at laios, but he does this instead.
then there's the fact laios is gently pushing chilchuck forward. it's a small thing, but i know pushing can feel... well, pushy, maybe patronizing or rude in some cases, depending on the context and who's doing it, yknow what i mean? but chilchuck doesn't appear to mind. and this last part is probably mostly a me thing, but i think there's a certain amount of trust being demonstrated here, because chilchuck is 1) letting laios guide him, 2) trusting laios enough to not look where he's going for a second, which 3) idk about you but i find the act of walking forward while looking up mildly disorienting
i get this is probably mostly me looking into things a bit more than i need to! but still, i've always really liked the moments where chilchuck demonstrates that he does see laios as their team leader, and generally trusts laios well enough, even if he might prefer laios behave differently and sometimes decides he needs to be pushed to understand/confront certain things. their relationship dynamic is a particular one, kinda subtle, but there's a degree of respect and trust that i just enjoy seeing!
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teamatsumu · 2 months
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L&DS BOYS - LOVE LANGUAGES
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content warnings: fem!reader, fluff, sfw headcanons
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XAVIER - PHYSICAL TOUCH
Xavier knows he is smart, and witty enough. But when things get a little too real, he finds it hard to express himself.
And the feelings he has for you are the most genuine ones he has felt in his long, long life.
While he might not be someone who can wax poetic about his affection for you, he shows it in other ways, and physical touch in his favorite way to get his feelings across.
When you walk next to each other, he sticks close, arm brushing against yours. Occasionally, the back of his hand makes contact with your own. It's almost as if the tension builds and builds, until he finally connects your fingers, either intertwining your hands together or linking his pinkie with yours. No words leave his mouth. His touch says enough.
If the train is too crowded, he will pull you closer to him with a firm touch on the small of your back, making sure you don’t receive any unwanted bumps from strangers.
For a few weeks in your relationship, he developed a strange habit of pinching your cheeks and lightly pulling on them. You let him do it, knowing he would eventually move on and find some other part of you to focus on. Though the action did make your face heat up.
Another weird hyperfixation he has is nibbling at your fingertips absentmindedly. He plays with them often, but when he is distracted by a movie you two are watching, he will bite at them every so often. Sometimes, he is so focused on the screen that you doubt he even realizes what he is doing.
(He realizes. He just thinks every part of you deserves love. Don’t question it. It makes sense in his head.)
Cuddling with him is the perfect gift for your senses, stimulating you wonderfully.
Small nips on your skin, little lingering touches. He traces your skin with eager yet gentle hands, as if trying to memorize every curve and dip.
He buries his face in your neck and breathes in deep, and in that moment, bodies tangled with each other and the sheets, vulnerable and open, he will whisper, “I love you”.
It’s an affirmation more than a revelation, since his actions up until this point have all shown you that he really, truly does love you. So you whisper it back, trying to pour all your love into it, before slotting your lips together and using physical touch to convey your feelings right back.
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RAFAYEL - WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
Rafayel is, in the simplest of terms, a yapper.
This man could talk for hours if you don’t stop him. About his art, about the meaning of life, about his experiences. He can express so much while also having an impeccable talent of being completely vague. Sometimes, you don’t even understand the things he says. And you’ve given up trying to decipher his every word.
But when Rafayel is talking about you, he makes himself abundantly clear. There’s no ambiguity about it; he loves you. And he will say it a million different times in a million different ways. Whether it be a bold declaration of how much his heart yearns for you, or endless teasing that is meant to rile you up and get a reaction out of you.
“I don’t think your talent lies in art, babe. It’s a good thing you’re a walking art piece yourself. No wonder I’m in love with you.”
“You’re leaving so soon? But I don’t think I’ve admired you enough for today. Don’t leave me!”
I’m impressed, Miss Bodyguard. You’re talented, and easy on the eyes. No wonder you captivated me from that very first day we met.”
Expect to wake up with a lot of voice notes on your phone. Minutes long. Sometimes rambling, sometimes actual ideas for new pieces that he wants to run by you. You better reply to all of them individually.
When you cuddle at night, you can talk for hours. No topic on earth is off limits with him. He will lay you down on a blanket on the beach, and as you watch the stars, he will tell you stories from olden times about star crossed lovers and tragic fairy tales. And he will turn to you, tell you how beautiful you are, how ardently he loves you, how he will never forget any moment he spends with you.
It’s almost like you can tell the exact moment he falls in love with you. Because he tells you. He never stops telling you. He voices his fears of you leaving him, he makes you promise you will never go away. He is clingy and he is whiny, and he is so endearing.
It’s hard to dismiss him when he is so loud about his love. And it’s hard to not fall for him just as he falls for you.
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ZAYNE - ACTS OF SERVICE
This is an indisputable fact. Dr Zayne shows his love through acts of service.
He is intensely aware of your needs, and is miles ahead of you in determining what you require at any given moment.
It’s his way of showing you that he cares. He worries for you, and born from that worry is the urge to take care of you.
If you have had a long day, you will come home to a text from him saying he has ordered takeout and it will arrive at your house shortly, since he knows you are too exhausted to cook anything. It is always something different, but it is always food that he knows you enjoy. He will mix it with some healthy options too.
If you ever crash at his place, you will wake up to a tall glass of water and two aspirin on the side table, along with a note in his neat handwriting telling you that there is fresh cooked breakfast in the oven (he made it before he left for work).
Once you two are in a steady relationship, he keeps his house stocked with products you use. A spare shampoo and conditioner, toothbrush, a bathrobe of your size, a hair brush, you name it.
When you mumble something about the hand cream in your purse that is nearly running out, you will find a brand new tube next time you open the purse, and there is no need to even ask. You know Zayne put it there.
He is intensely observant. Even after knowing him for so long, it catches you off guard. He knows which of your clothes need to be dry cleaned and which ones are good for the washing machine. He knows which scents you use. Which products are harsher on your skin. He knows that contacts irritate your eyes after long hours of wearing them, so he keeps a small bottle of eye drops in your side table for that very purpose.
He scolds you for neglecting yourself, and he won’t hold back the harsh tone if he thinks your behavior is particularly destructive. To him, the best way to show love is to make sure your beloved is living the best life they can.
It is the littlest things, the tiniest details. And it shocks you, even after so long.
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bfbkg · 7 months
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AKIN TO HEARTBREAK (3.2K)
BAKUGOU KATSUKI X READER
synopsis: how can you say you don't need him when he so wretchedly needs you?
warnings: flreader, nsfw, minors dni, established relationship, miscommunication, yn doesnt 'need' bkg, make-up sex, handjob, fingering (f), cunnilingus, dramatic bkg, doggy style, fluffy&intimate, emotional bkg, needy bkg, what more do i tag lol
a/n: for you, saint @saintokkotsu !! thank you for being so lovely to me. based off that one lyric in i drink wine by adele!
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what bakugou feels right now is akin to heartbreak. his heart is broken, raw and missing every other beat. instead of crying over whatever is left of his heart, the feelings have morphed into silent rage, especially at the fact you’re sitting beside him in his car unaware of it all.
he’s not sure if he’s being dramatic, he did only hear less than half of the conversation you were having with your coworker but it’s enough to feel as if his head is being dunked underwater repeatedly with no time to breathe for air.
you’re confused and unsure, as shown by your finger tapping on your knee instead of grabbing his hand like you usually do. your boyfriend looks like a bubbling pot beside you about to spill over.
“did you have a bad day at work?” 
your voice makes him wince, memories of how it sounded just this morning, joyful and loving, embarrassing him. 
“yeah,” it’s a lie, it sounds burnt on his tongue.
“ah,” you nod in a show of understanding but really, nothing has changed. 
in your year of knowing bakugou, half of that time being in a relationship with him, you’ve never quite seen him like this. jaw clenched, eyes narrowed, fingers so tight on his steering wheel you think it’s close to snapping. it’s not the explosive anger you see the news reporters talk about or you hear stories of his friends telling. rather, it’s stone cold brewing. you think this anger is reserved for you.
“did i do something?” you whisper.
you sound hurt and that makes bakugou ache.
he doesn’t know how to reply to you and luckily, he’s just pulled up outside of his apartment so he can starve it off for longer. he doesn’t even know why he still wants to be in your presence but he desperately does. this is his love, still aflame during his anger.
he parks and presses a button so his car engine shuts down. with no rumble of the engine, you’re both sitting in quiet. you make no turn to move as bakugou opens his car door.
“katsuki, i am not coming out until you tell me what’s wrong. there’s no point in me coming inside if you’re not talking to me.”
bakugou freezes. you say the words to his back, measuring how all the muscles are tense beneath his long sleeve black t-shirt. he huffs, then groans aloud before roughly wiping his face.
“i heard what you said earlier.”
“to who?”
“your fuckin’ coworker, that guy.”
he was leaning outside your work building, waiting for you to come out.
“your sugar daddy’s waiting for you outside, huh?”
bakugou’s never liked that guy, he always seemed slimy and hopelessly in love with you. you just called it his ‘boyfriend brain’ whenever he spoke about it.
you snort, “he is not my sugar daddy.”
“doesn’t he practically buy you everything? new bag, new shoes? why’re you even working?”
bakugou knows your tones like your facial expressions. you’re disgusted when you reply, “how is this any of your business? i don’t use my boyfriend for money. i don’t even need him.”
that’s all bakugou heard before a needle popped his heart and blood began to spill over his shoes.
if you don’t need him, why are you with him? what is your relationship built on if there’s nothing you need from him? all his other ones need him. his presence to save, his strength, his knowledge. his parents have always needed him to keep their relationship strong, his agency is built on their need for him to stay alive. everyone needs something from him. how can you say you don’t when he so wretchedly needs you? 
he retreats into his car seat, slamming the door shut. silence swallows you both.
you want to question why he was even listening to your conversation but it’s pointless anyway. you’re not sure which part of your conversation would deserve this reaction.
“how much did you hear? what was wrong with what i said?”
the first time he properly looks at you today comes with an annoyed, nasty frown.
“you said you didn’t fuckin’ need me.”
now you frown.
“i said i didn’t need you, yes.”
a tether of his temper snaps, “so why the fuck are we together?”
“don’t talk to me like that,” you snap.
silence. both of you watch a man across the street walking his dog.
“we’re together because i love you but i don’t need you. if something happens and you leave, i’ll still be here. alive.” you watch his face for a reaction but he’s still looking ahead. “and he was talking about your money. i work for my own.” 
bakugou realises he’s never admitted to himself the things he needs. he doesn’t ever need people the same way people need him. minus perhaps other heroes for certain missions. though this premature heartbreak he’s been feeling, a rush from zero to a hundred, makes him think.
“i need you. without you, i’d be nothing.”
you shake your head softly and bakugou turns to look at you. you take his hand and it’s warm.
“that’s not true, gorgeous. you’d still be bakugou katsuki. you’d still be dynamight.”
“i don’t want any of that if it’s not with you.” you kiss his knuckles. 
“katsuki. baby,” you take a deep breath, “i think you’re used to people relying on you all the time. your family, the country, the world. i want you to know i want you for you. i don’t want anything from you. i don’t need you for your money or your strength. you make me better and happy by being you. there’s nothing more i ask for.”
bakugou feels his heart mending itself, stitching each tear and slowly beating back to normal. perhaps this is what he’s always needed to hear. you don’t need him. you don’t want anything from him, just him.
bakugou sniffs, meeting your eyes. your hand comes to cradle his cheek and he presses your forehead together.
“fuck, i’m sorry. i should probably go back to therapy, right?” he chuckles breathily, his eyes glossy though no tears fall.
his breath is hot on your face and you begin to smile at the feeling of his nose brushing against yours. he’s beautiful with his fluffy dark eyelashes and shiny ruby eyes.
“probably, but we can sort that out later.” you press a kiss to his mouth, then another but this time he holds the back of your head to keep you close to him. he inhales like it’s the first time he’s kissed you in years.
once you pull away, you mumble against his lips, “let’s go inside now. i’m starving.”
when you’ve both finished eating, dressed snuggled in your pyjamas, you notice that your boyfriend is oddly embarrassed about his outburst earlier. you never see him embarrassed, perhaps a couple of times at the beginning of your relationship when he’d stutter accidentally or he tried to open the door for you and it smacked him in the forehead. but since then, never. you want your boyfriend back.
you decide to bombard him when he’s hand washing the dishes instead of using the dishwasher beside him.
you lean on the kitchen island with your elbows, chin resting on your palms.
“gorgeous?”
he can always sense you, knows where you are. stupid hero tingles.
bakugou turns his head to look over you, “baby.”

“i miss you.”
“i’m right here.”
“no, you’re still caught up about what happened earlier.”
he rolls his head back to look at his soapy hands, “‘m not.”
you sigh softly, padding across the floor in your fluffy socks. you circle your arms around his waist, your cheek pressed against his back. here you were connected, heartbeats simmering to one.
“i love you,” you murmur, pressing a kiss through his t-shirt.
you can’t see his hands from this angle but you can hear the water sloshing about as he cleans the plates.
“yeah. i love you too. i think too much.”
you gasp jokingly, laying your palms flat on his toned chest, “you say it like it’s a bad thing!”
he shakes his head, “it’s not. just that it felt like you stabbed me earlier and now i’m in fuckin’ recovery.”
“oh baby,” you coo. you never realised how deep the roots of his need for people to need him really were. you brush the tips of your fingers against his dick, hidden away in his shorts. your touch is only light, hovering, and you feel his abs tense. “will this make you feel better?”
bakugou’s laugh is strained, humming at the feeling of you pressed against his back. “yeah, it fuckin’ will.”
you take the yes with glee, slowly pulling down his shorts and boxers in one go. his hands are still in the soapy water, squeezing the life out of a sponge when you bring your palm to your face to spit on and then cradle his length.
you don’t say a word when you flick your wrist over him. it’s not too fast, not too slow. a comfortable pace for him to slowly harden in your hand. you indulge in the feeling of knowing him so well, without even seeing his face. 
how his breath switches to breathy grunts, his fingers becoming pale white from clenching the sink. you can barely look around him to see but you can tell from only the sight of his neck that he’s looking down, mesmerised by your hand.
you’re warm and treat him with skill. you look after him, is all bakugou thinks. he can just relax, worries of before slipping off his shoulders and he focuses on the burning desire building. 
“oh fuck,” he spills, hips bucking involuntarily into your palm. you bite down on your lip, the feeling of him getting heavier, slick with his own pre.
“there’s nobody i want more than you,” 
“shit,” 
you pick up the pace, moving your wrist how you’ve seen him move on himself. you match his hip thrusts and bakugou feels his vision blur. he clenches his eyes shut, biceps thick and bulging.
a slick, wet, pat pat pat, fills the air. you feel all the muscles in his body tense, his head flinging back as finally, he lets go. his hot release covers your fingers and you keep pumping till it’s all out.
“motherfucker. oh fuck, you feel good. this is so… urgh,” he groans and you let him, even rubbing his stomach soothingly.
his come drips to the floor and unsurprisingly, you’re turned on by the sight. making him come while not even seeing what you’re doing.
once he’s all done, catching his breath and wiping his forehead, you push.
“are you still too busy moping away to sort me out?”
“watch your mouth,” he snaps.
you think he’s back. you grin.
after wiping your hand with a paper towel, bakugou pulls up his shorts and picks you up in one swoop, swinging you over his shoulder.
“katsuki!” two large wet hand imprints are at your waist. 
he’s on a mission stomping through his home into his bedroom, “i’m gonna do more than just sort you out, baby.”
bakugou throws you back onto his bed and you get to see his face. the sadistic grin you love to see, the desire for you swimming in his ruby pupils. he yanks you by the legs so your pelvis is at the edge of the bed.
“if all this shit didn’t happen today, i would have already made you come by now. i’m gonna have to catch up.”
you don’t know what beast you’ve created until it’s too late.
your lover pulls down your shorts and lifts your oversized t-shirt so your lower half is exposed to him.
“and i was thinkin’ this was it between us. it’s never gonna be it between us.”
“you’re so dramatic.”
“are you sure you wanna be sayin’ that right now?”
you rest up on your forearms, well aware he can see the wetness between your legs. it’s your favourite sight having him there, hands like paws spreading your thighs wider. he only blows on your centre, over your clit and your body tenses at the rush of air.
you flop down onto your back, pleasure shooting up your spine, “oh shit. no, no, i take it back.”
he smirks, “yeah i thought so.”
bakugou is tender with you, prodding you with his tongue like you would a sleeping animal with a stick. though he knows what gets you moving, he just wants to draw it out.
he swipes his tongue from bottom to top, not paying too much attention to your clit which is exactly where you want him. you mewl, hips jumping to try and push him in the right direction. he just holds you down and continues.
his wet tongue circles your hole, around and around and you’re just about to beg him until he thrusts his tongue inside. your moan is loud, exactly what bakugou wanted.
“she tastes so fuckin’ good, baby.” he pulls his tongue out to see you pulsing around nothing. “fuck.”
you’re whimpering, heat blossoming throughout your body, “more ‘suki.”
bakugou slides his palm onto your stomach, his other lifting your thigh. “patience baby.”
finally, his soft lips suction around your clit. he sucks, drawing out the sweetest, honey dripping moans from you. it feels electric, body twitching and it only increases when he slides two fingers into you without warning.
you grip a clump of his hair, holding him to you restlessly. 
“oh my… baby,” you whine, and you feel the vibrations of his chuckle muffled between your legs.
his tongue is swift, practised. he curls his fingers, brushing against your favourite spot and that’s enough for you to be on the edge of bursting.
then he stops, and you find two hands on your waist flipping you over onto your stomach.
“katsuki, what?! i was almost there!” you whine but your boyfriend only lightly slaps your bare ass to silence you.
“wanna feel you come ‘round my cock. wouldn’t you too?” his voice deep with control as you lay your cheek on the mattress to watch him pull his t-shirt off his body in one sweep.
you hum at the sight of his toned chest, the scars, marks and beauty spots. he wastes no time finding your ass again, two hands on each ass cheek. he roughly massages with his thumbs and you can’t help but rumble a moan, trying not to arch in the air.
“yeah, i do,” he leans over with one knee beside you and kisses your cheek, “want you ‘suki.”
“i’ll look after you, pretty.”
bakugou yanks off his joggers, one hand guiding his cock through your ass cheeks. back and forth and your moans come out like a melody in unison. he’s thick, veiny and he’s fixated on how his head pops out at every thrust. 
“could fuckin’ come like this, baby,” he grunts, leaning over your body. kisses are pressed along your shoulders and back like raindrops.
it feels good, so good but not enough. “no, don’t,” you reach for his arm behind you and bakugou meets your pleading eyes. “inside, baby.”
how could he say no to you when it’s so natural to say yes? “okay, okay. fuck, i’d do anythin’ for you.”
he grips your thigh to position you for him, guiding his cock through your folds. your breath hitches when he hovers by where you need him the most. need. right now, your craving is turning into a need.
“n-need you so bad, come on,”
and he usually would have poked you for your tone but instead, your lover grins. alive and full of energy. slowly, he pushes into you, immediately feeling you tense around him. together, he grunts while you whimper.
“oh ‘suki,”
“i know baby, i know.”
you’re made for him, he fits tight and perfect and he knows if there’s a heaven on earth, it’s between your legs. 
“why do you f-feel bigger?” you rock against him, your ass hitting his chest.
bakugou’s laugh comes out rough, holding your hips, “‘m gonna move, yeah?”
you hum back and he begins to thrust. he tries to be controlled to take his time but it all gets too much so quickly. the messiness of it all, your slick soaking his cock desperately, creating loud wet slaps in the air. you’re both lost in each other, you reaching up on your forearms to fuck back into him, you’re not sure who’s moaning more.
“fuck,” you screech and bakugou feels like he’s close to passing out.
“come, baby. you feel perfect, squeezing the shit outta me,”
he doesn’t even need to touch your clit before you’re shaking on him, stuffing your face in the mattress for some grounding, your fingers clenched.
“holy… fuck, ‘suki,” you mewl, “i love you.”
his orgasm rocks through him before he can take hold of it, spurting inside you. his hips keep going and instead of flinging his head back, he leans forward over you, stuffing his head in your neck. his thrusts jolt your whole body on the bed and it’s only when he’s all spent, he stops, murmuring a tired, “i l-love you too, pretty.”
it’s a few moments of trying to come back to earth together, bakugou flipping you onto your back to lay kisses over your hip bone and stomach. your hand brushes through his hair relaxingly.
when he stops, you look down at him to find him already staring at you. you move your hand to cup his cheek. his eyes are half lidded, sleepy, lips shiny and although you say you don’t need him like one would need food or water, maybe you crave him like one would a hot meal. like one would happiness and peace of mind.
“you know i love you, right?” you breathe and his eyes widen.
bakugou nods, rubbing against your palm like a puppy. he really looks anything but with his stubbled jaw and scar across his eyebrow but he’s still stupidly sweet.
“course i do. i get what you meant before, don’t worry,” he sniffs, pretty eyes looking over you. he grips your wrist tightly, kissing the palm that held his cheek, “i love you too, pretty girl.”
bakugou crawls up to you on his forearms, stopping until his face is before yours. “i’d die if you left me though.”
his face is serious, stone cold until his smile drops and you slap his arm. “katsuki! don’t say that,” he stuffs his head in your neck, his chuckle tickling.
“i’m not lyin’ though.”
you circle your arms around his neck, holding him to you tightly, “but you shouldn’t…”
“yeah, yeah, i know. if you ever wanna leave me i won’t actually. i’ll just think about it till one day i wake up and don’t.”
“you’re really not helping and i don’t wanna leave you any time soon. unless you’re still planning on being dramatic.”
“nah, i’m finished. i love you a normal amount.”
you roll your eyes playfully and he pinches your side, pulling you into a fit of giggles.
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chokchokk · 9 months
Note
Can I request a San x Female Reader where It's her first time having sex and first time having an orgasmn. So San makes her squirt over and over before fuckin her. But at the end she notices blood and freaks out so he comforts her? Very smutty and fluffy please?
-AA
Im too embarrassed
dearest AA, “very smutty”, “very fluffy” and “too embarrassed” don’t co-exist in my universe, so i hope with this fic i could get some of your shame (?) away, babes <33 indulge in your desires and don’t hesitate to revisit me anytime !!! thank you for being my first requester xoxo
ʟᴇᴛ ɪᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛʀᴜᴇ! | choi san x fem!reader
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“Don't go around calling me baby right now, or I'll turn like the San in your dream.”
𝚜𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚙𝚜𝚒𝚜 : Your boyfriend is a wet dream, but this only goes so far, when your real dream leaves you confused and most importantly, curious. San is more than happy to help.
“How does an orgasm feel like, Sannie?”
𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎 : fluff (slice of life-ish), smut
𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 : 10k
𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 : 1st time, sex with communication, first orgasm, foreplay, explicit consent, fingering, squirting, protected (!) penetrative sex, bleeding, after-care; san is a great boyfriend, san has a big dick, that is actually important to the plot, established relationship, living together, a lot of sweet pet-names, teasing, domestic humour
𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛'𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎 : LMAO i’ll be honest i got carried away with the build-up (pls know this abt me; i’m a WHORE for build-up (sorry not sorry)) but if you want to jump to the spicy part immediately, go find the second border, the smut will start there!! enjoy in any way you want !!! <33 feedback would be greatly appreciated xoxo
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“Good night, Y/N. Dream of me~”, your boyfriend lulls, as you’re cuddled into his breast, San’s sturdy arm cushioning your body from below, stroking your head that’s under his. He just finished talking about his lucid dreaming recently, fascinated that he can remember more details now, but you interrupted his talking, when he iterated a fight to you where he got his nose bleeding. 
“I don’t have to dream of you when you’re the dream already, Sannie,” you whisper, and with a giggle, he kisses your forehead. San has warned you about calling him ‘dream boyfriend’ multiple times, since he’s aways got, quote, “things to improve on”, but since it’s not dream husband yet, you’re left with no other description. 
“Ohh, sugarplum,” he coos and and pushes your face deeper into the crook of his neck, “don’t say that.”
San is a special case in every which way; in the way he’s this buff guy with guns for arms that he uses to keep you warm when you sleep — in the way San is has the energy of a bull that he stashes away to sing his girlfriend a lullaby — in the way that the Choi San who has dated so many women in his past and hooked up with them (with no ill feelings in the present, of course) has settled down with you, Y/N, a woman with no prior experience other than the media she has consumed.
So you keep telling it yourself in secret. San is, and will forever be, a dream boyfriend. He’s as good to you as you are seemingly to him, but course the topic of sex, at least the lack thereof, crosses you two’s conversations from time to time. 
It’s not like you had tried to save yourself for something, really not. It just… didn’t sound appealing to you, ever. You’ve shared to San that you don’t even masturbate that often, since you’ve never been able to get a satisfactory end— an orgasm— out of it. And while other men would laugh about such a thing, San has shown you nothing but understanding and support.
When you feel sorry for not being able to meet his sexual needs, he tells you he’s happy enough that you feel comfortable to share your discomforts with you. There is not one cell of his body that would mutate and judge you, San is fully devoted to your well-being.
What you forget sometimes is that while San is your first boyfriend, it’s your first time being a girlfriend, too. So being sorry for San is one thing, but wanting to love San more is another. At least you realised that this morning, when you woke up from your first ever wet dream.
You have been able to just ‘shake it off’ during the day and not think about it, but after San, being your soulmate he is, came up with the topic of “lucid dreaming”, and you could barely listen to his wild stories because of how distracted you were.
Maybe that’s why San thought you were tired and cuddled you to slumber so soon. Him cuddling you and getting your head under his chin is you two’s usual sleeping position, but well, huh… You’re not tired, not at all.
“I mean it,” you choke out, San humming, touched by your compliment, but of course he doesn’t know that by saying he’s a dream,you’re also referencing to how his hands were touching your private areas all around, his mouth in places that it’s never been in before in real life. ‘Tastes so good…’
“I love you so much, Y/N,” San exhales delightfully, fed by your fuzzy feelings, still caressing your head with gentle fingers, “but you know that I want you to hold me accountable.”
“Saaannie,” you murmur, your breath turning into a hot patch on his shirt, “just take it as it is.”
San notices your slightly agitated tone and chuckles, kissing your forehead again. “Y/N, my sugar-pie, what’s bothering you?” There has been no doubt in you that San wouldn’t catch on that you’re being weird, and though you’re really glad he did, it, for some reason, doesn’t make the topic any more easier. 
“It’s—“, you begin to stammer, and with your struggle comes San’s immediate help. He shuffles back a little bit so he can take an analytical look at you, all blushed and worked up over a dream you can’t even remember the half of. San’s eyes are droopy, and while right now, it’s because he’s tired, in your dream, it was because he wanted to ‘eat you up…’
“It’s too embarrassing to explain.”
San gets the arm away from below and leans his head against his hand, propping himself up. “Embarrassing?”, he asks and pouts with a slight smile, his dimples digging deep into his cheeks. “Is it an embarrassing matter or just you who’s soooo easy to embarrass, huh?”, San grins and taps your nose one time with his finger to loosen you up, looking you straight in the eyes to give you all his attention. He’s showing to you that you, dearest, could never be embarrassing to him. Everything you do, he’ll take serious and anything you say, San will listen to it, as he’s shown you over and over again, reaffirming it to you every day and night. 
‘I’m going to show you my love, all of it.’
San sees you licking your lips and putting your words together in your overwhelmed brain. You’re not nervous of how San will react, that is for sure, it’s just that… Where do you start? ‘Hey, boyfriend, I think I want to have sex with you?’ That does get the message across, but the words have to leave your mouth first. 
It’s hard. You don’t think you’ve ever said the word, ‘sex’ in the context of… actually having it, let alone desiring it. San watches you spiral— starting to inhale, but then losing your words— and strokes over your head, humming “Just start with the basic outline—“
“I had sex with you in my dream.”
San stops stroking your head for a hot second and you two are just looking into each other’s eyes. San notices now how red you have become, how flushed you look, what a cute girlfriend you are for being embarrassed about this and shit, how lucky he is that you’re his and not anybody else’s girlfriend who you are so adorable playing with your hair right after you just dropped the “s-bomb” on him.
You don’t know what’s worse: Him, waiting for you to continue your talking before he can react to your … attention-grabbing introductory sentence, or you, not having anything to follow up. He probably expects you to tell your dream, but— but not in front of San himself, no! You’re quiet and continue to be, until he takes it upon himself to break the silence.
“… Did you wake up?”
Huh?
“What? Of course I woke up, I’m here now.”
“No, sweetie,” San wheezes softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, while you finally let your eyes stray away (his gaze is unbearable), “I’m asking whether you got to see the end of it.”
“The—“, you parrot him, and while you do San smiles sheepishly, apparently finding you so endearing while you are in mutilation, a foreign warmth growing in your stomach, “— end?”
“I just don’t want to scare you, Y/N,” San hums and twirls your hair around on his finger. “This is me asking where your head is in this situation.”
You blink and San pushes his lips out to indicate that he’s waiting for an answer, or at least something to give him to know if you’re in need of consolation or advice. “Uhm,” you inhale, “I… saw almost everything, I guess.”
His reaction could mean a lot. The dimple in his cheek getting deeper, his nose crunch, him sucking in his lip — it could mean a lot, but also so little.
“Almost everything,” San re-confirms, you know that this description is still very vague. 
Gathering your shards of confidence, you murmur, “I mean… We saw each other naked often, so I think that’s why my brain could— do that, but when it came to that, it… You know. It surprised me.”
“That,” San repeats and by now, he definitely understands the superficial parts of your dream, but you have yet to drop any details. Was the dream a good one? Or well, was he good?
As expected, he wouldn’t dare to ask you that right now, looking at how you’re stammering awkwardly. You can still read it in his eyes though; his curiosity is asking you whether your dream has changed your attitude about sex, let it be for the better or worse. 
You know San is going to show understanding regardless, right?
Yes, absolutely right.
“Y/N, sugar, we can talk about this tomorrow or any other day you like. I’ll keep it in mind, if that’s what you want.” 
Maybe you should say something before San thinks the dream has made you negatively speechless. Well, it did make you speechless the whole day, but now, you’re almost bursting with the things you want to say, like they’re brewing inside you but not getting flavourful yet.
“No, Sannie,” you whine and put your hand on your eyes to hide yourself from his way-too sincere eyes. This isn’t how people do it in the movies or in the books. They usually just… get it on, no? Like they eat each other up, like it’s a necessity for survival, like eating to meet hunger, like quenching your thirst. You don’t know if this is a feeling like that. Whether the uncomfortable warmth inside you is truly the embarrassment but rather the reaction of your memories. ‘Let yourself be all over me.’
“Yes, sweetie,” San croons, removing his hand from your head to leave you by yourself even more, your palms resting on your eye sockets.
You love him. You’ve never doubted this, and you’re not doubting it now. From the moment he confessed his love to you, you having to get used to the idea of being in a relationship to now, almost a year later. You’ve mentioned it to him haphazardly already, but you’ve done everything except have sex. It had been San’s idea to ease you into the twosome-ness of it all; ‘let’s be each other’s person’. He said that in your dream, too, and finally you understood it.
You remember your long-lived confusion before today too well. San was your person as you were his, him with his own set of needs and expectations, you with your own — but weren’t they contradictory? San needed the sex, didn’t he? Like… sexual needs? 
No, “sex isn’t a need”, San explained to you back then, “it’s a way!“
You tried to bring up the whole concept of orgasming being healthy to him, but he continued with “to me,” and you are reciting these words in your head as you try to think of something good to say, “sex is just one of many ways to love you, Y/N.”
So, truth be told, despite having a virgin girlfriend, he orgasms a healthy amount still. Sometimes San does it while you’re sleeping next to him, sometimes he feels like he can’t resist to look at your peaceful, tranquil, breathtaking face and does it in the bathroom, but essentially, he is not having sex, just getting rid of his ‘bodily mishaps’.
While you thought of sex as this strange way to get rid of stress, San thought of it as something way more, but he wouldn’t try to convince you of it, if you didn’t give him your “okay” to talk about it at all.
But here you are. Okay. You’re finally ready. Or maybe you’re not, but you’re ready to try, try with San, try San. He’ll be your person, get to know where you like to be touched, get to know where your sweet spots are and you will hopefully do just the same— touch, no, lick, no, touch, lick and suck everywhere he wants, pour your yourself over him. You’ve wanted to find out how to do that since you’ve dreamt of it since last night, processing the brain-sensation it has left you with for the whole day.
“Do you think you want to tell me about your dream first?“ 
“Can you kiss me?”
“H- huh?”
You get your hands from your eyes and your vision is too blurry to precisely get the picture of his rather shaken expression in. San thinks you’re bold. Mostly because that’s what you are right now. Bold. Still embarrassed, but encouraged and desperate. “Can you kiss me?”, you ask again before you fall into another pile of self-embarrassment. 
“I can, but I don’t know how it’s going to help—“
You pull his face closer to yours with both of your hands and San is the one who slightly turns red now. “Y/N,” he pants, and you have to suppress a cheeky smile, when you push his cheeks together to form a duck-face. 
Until you notice he’s not being sulky with the way he’s trying to push you away.
It takes you a while, how would you know that it was so easy to get men erected? Okay, you’ve seen San get a boner in the most uncomfortable situations several occasions, but usually they weren’t because of a direct cause. 
If he had worn a baggier set of pants, you probably wouldn’t have seen it, but it’s only his shorts today, and the whole outline of it is almost jumping into your face, you couldn’t have not seen it. Not remarking it also wouldn’t have helped the situation. Your situation. ‘I won’t stop, I won’t stop fucking you all night.’
“Is that why you don’t wanna kiss me, Sannie?”, you murmur and flutter with your eye-lids, once your realise you’ve been staring for too long down there.
In contrast the voyeuristic scene, it strangely does not become one of those erotic moments; with San’s whiny chuckle, it actually becomes kind of … bonny. Him getting a hard-on, when his girlfriend is quite figuratively trying to open up with him, it becomes a small detail to poke fun at, one to laugh about it with an amiable awareness that you’re not mocking each other.
“I’m sorry— ignore this— I can ignore this,” San tells you and flops on his back, grabbing all of the blanket to roll around it and leaving you cold with less. “Hey!”, you pout and grab the seam of the blanket to get under it, but San gets ahold of your wrists to prevent you from cuddling to his side.
Maybe it’s because there’s nothing else occupying San’s mind and body right now, with you knowing it, or the way you can’t keep your hands off of him and he’s desperately trying to avoid your touch, it seems like a short game of cat-and-mouse.
“I don’t care that you’re hard, Sannie!”, you whine and search for his vicinity, but he wiggles away, forcing you to be a bit more assertive and wring with him.
“But I do!”, he exclaims, not really understanding the weight that your words hold. You just told him that you’re not appalled by his erection, that should be a big sign that you’re, uh, up for conversation, no? Why are you being like this? Maybe to keep up the tension? Because it’s fun? Fun playing around with San— to watch him try to use as little strength as possible, knowing that once he gets just the tiniest bit of muscle in, you’ll be overthrown?
“Sannie,” you make a sullen face, breathing out, at your third try to get your arms around him with San’s hands on your wrist, but when you get caught in the blanket with your leg that he keeps pulling, it’s over the second he yanks you to the side.
Yanking you to the side meaning pulling you by your whole body— you landing on his belly, arms awkwardly angled towards your torso, leaning into his face.
“You men”, you theatrically moan to tease him even more and San is fighting with all his inner voices right now. Most of them are just empty screams of ‘what is happening?!’, but also muscle memory persuading him to wrap his arms around your perfect waist and pin you down— he’s trying, that’s what he’s yearning to tell you by pushing his eyebrows down. “I’m sorry.”
“Ohh, Sannie,” you sigh, letting your head drop on top of his breast, crossing your fingers into San’s, while he manages his breathing.
“This is why I’m no dream man, Y/N,” San pouts, feeling guilty having used his power over you. 
“It’s natural, isn’t it?”, you answer — letting your hands fall to each side of San’s body, and you feel like one of those people that usually tell you the same thing when the fact that you’re a virgin slips off your tongue. ‘It’s natural, isn’t it? That couples have sex?’ It should be and it’s going to be, thank you.
“I’m sorry, it’s just… I was really not prepared for that,” San wheezes and he raises one of your intertwined hands to touch your fingers with his lips.
“What? The cuddling or the dream?”
“The cuddling, in the context of the dream,” he answers honestly and inhales your sleepy scent from your fingertips, feeling how comfortable you lay on top of him.
“It was a good dream,” you conclude.
This was what San was trying to find out. Good or bad. And to his luck, it was good. Very good. ‘Such a good girl… So good to me.’
“Y/N?”
You accidentally zoned out, re-imagining your reverie; San all over you, sweat dripping down from his skin onto yours, his pelvis pistoning into your raised legs. How had your brain come up with that? It felt so… real. “Sorry, I got lost there for a second. What did you say?”
“How was he, that San in your dream?”
“The San in my dream, he,” you chuckle, feeling your breathing accumulate to your boyfriend’s, “… did everything, but he wasn’t careful, no.”
“What?!”, San exclaims, and it seems like he’s offended by his alter-ego to dare such a thing— he lets go off your hands in the shock and grabs you by your shoulders. “Not careful?!”
“Hmm,” you try and calm him down, letting your hands glide onto his pillowy breasts, massaging your fingers into his flesh by circling them, “he was inside… But a bit… Too fast for my liking? I mean, I don’t know my liking… I was enjoying it in my dream, but— uhm, I don’t think I could handle so much right now?”
San hums, as in to show that he heard what you said, but it took him a second of you burying your hands inside his armpits to inhale, “wait, right now?”, and remove his hands from your shoulders.
“Sannie,” you murmur with closed eyes, the buzzing feeling inside your lower abdomen swaying you to something like slumber, but if you’re not mistaken— and you’re sure that you can’t be mistaken about your own thoughts— it’s not a slumber that can be cured by sleep, but rather something else, “I couldn’t think of anything else today.”
He’s silent. He’s still breathing— thank goodness— but even though you can hear his breath leave his mouth, it doesn’t seem like San is going to say something. Pushing your upper body up, you tilt your head down.
He’s silent, sweaty and breathing, breathing heavily, staring upwards at you with sunken eyes, unable to let any of his thoughts leave the safe space of his mouth, because if San did, he’d give himself trouble for it. Seeing you fix your gaze— eyelids droopy from having been smushed into his breast— seems to only be adding fuel to his loss of good sense, and San is praying in his head that you won’t lick your lips once more, because oh god, if you did, you are going to be in so much more trouble than he is.
“Baby?”, you ask, and you swear you’re not trying to provoke him, since you only call him baby in the most special occasions, but right now, it just slipped out of you because San is being a bit strange. 
Boyfriends don’t act like this, do they? Your boyfriend doesn’t; that, you can be sure about.
“Sorry,” you correct yourself, hopefully to get rid of some of his— well, what was it— anxiousness?— no, frustration?, “I didn’t mean to say ‘baby’. It just slipped out.”
“N- no, Y/N, it’s not your fault, it’s mine,” San whines. “This may sound really weird, but while I would rather die than hurt you, sugar-pie,” he murmurs, avoiding your heavy gaze on him, “I am… a man. And I don’t know how comfortable you are with me, but I am fully, undeniably erected, Y/N. Don’t go around calling me baby right now, or I’ll turn like the San in your dream.”
“How does an orgasm feel like, Sannie?”, you ask, purposefully innocent, but still in a way that makes it obviously suggestive, your tone dropping in an octave from its initial high-tone embarrassment. Where is your sudden confidence coming from? You don’t know, but- uh- well, you’re kinda over San here, both mentally and physically, it seems like. 
“It feels like…”, San sighs, both reminiscing his lifetime of orgasms and feeling pretty fucking awkward in general, to be explaining this to you, while his body is screaming for him to do anything but talking. 
“… It feels like being washed over by refreshing water on a hot summer day, after easing yourself into it with small splashes.” San is no poet and he sees this by how you’re flexing your face together, trying hard to understand.
“It feels like…,” he starts again, and you can swear you are feeling something twitch underneath you, and it’s probably his hard erection. “… Orgasm feel like, wow… How do they feel like, they— Uh…”
Somewhere between his words, San is looking at the ceiling, letting his eyes wander around everywhere your body isn’t laying dangerously close to his throbbing genital, but having to tell you how orgasms feel like is just the end of his senses. Now it’s not only his body urging him on, his girlfriend is trying to find out how they feel like without having experienced one, ever.
“… They are worth it.”
He’s trying to be a good boyfriend, but up until now, he’s been used to being the boyfriend of a virgin girlfriend who didn’t want sex at the moment. And that was the end of it. Definitely more than manageable, more doable than … this.
“Do you think I can enjoy them too?”, you question, revealing to him the true nature of your curiosity.
You’ve confirmed the pulsation between your legs seconds ago, when San let out a whine from his mouth, that was definitely not intended to sound as sexual as it did. You’re a virgin, not dumb, you know what’s seductive, sultry and arousing. Oh, you’re aroused, alright, maybe for the first time in your life— and your boyfriend is, too, so if this puzzle isn’t going to be put together this night, there must be something wrong in the air.
“I can’t speak for you, sugarplum. It was your dream, Y/N.”
“I don’t know how we started, but we were here, on our bed, naked, and you were… thrusting into me with this… almost scary vigour, it was— It was rough. And that one, I didn’t enjoy. You looked mean, Sannie.”
“I’m sorry,” San pouts and he looks downwards to show how sorry he is, but also to focus on your words only. If he sees your sweet face describing those things one more time, then he’ll have to disappear into the toilet soon. “I would never treat you like that.”
You blink a couple of times and lick your lips. “How would you treat me?”
“I would,” San mutters, finally meeting your eyes again, while he slowly, but surely begins to prop himself up by angling his arms, getting to your face-level. “I would treat you with care, reverence—with tenderness; I would get every inch of your skin to understand how it feels to be seen and loved, I would—“, he pants, he’s unable to breathe through his nose, and he just keeps on talking, he…
“YN, I— I would do everything to get to make your body flourish with my love, to make your heart grow with all I have, I want to—“
He goes silent.
Yes, San is a man. But it’s strange to you how he blames being a man for his weakness, but if there is a strong suit that your boyfriend has over you, it’s not being so strong that he can pull you down in a second— it’s having the mind of a lover, and a lover who promises to protect everyone he loves with his strength, and not because he’s getting his own satisfying release out of it.
A man and a lover; San is also your boyfriend, who knows what to tell you to make you grow weak. Let’s say he doesn’t do it a lot for reasons that include wanting to protect you, but as you are on top of him, listening to his words from beneath you, his words melt like fizzled honey on your tummy, crumbling with them. 
“I want you, Y/N. And that’s my selfish dream.”
Being pulled down by gravity as San’s upper body rises, down to his crotch, you let him work his silent ways. He pushes himself up the last inch that it takes to be under your face, and his skin radiates heat onto yours.
There is not even a centimetre separating you two and San finally finds his words. “Please”, he begs, his voice above a whisper, “let me be your dream, Y/N.”
“I thought we already went through that,” you chuckle, getting your arms on each of San’s shoulders now, “baby.”
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You can see he’s enjoying this a little too much, the way San is thoroughly covering every inch of your skin with butterfly kisses, as he has you laying on your back, letting you rub your hands over his torso to get used to the ‘intimacy’-part of it all. 
Getting naked was an easy process, being exposed to the very last skin on the other hand, not. You’ve never been naked in front of him for this specific occasion, and since he knows, San doesn’t dare to rush you into more touching than needed, allowing your underwear to wrap around your privates until he’s finished giving you goosebumps all over the body. 
With his soft lips, San kisses your shoulders and collarbones, whispering words of comfort into them, while you try your best to not make any lewd sounds. You didn’t know they came naturally, you had thought it was acting but — oh, goodness — no. 
“Sugar,” San sputters— rearranging himself over you, one knee between your legs, the other over your leg, “let ‘em out. Let the sounds out.”
You gulp, as he glides his hand across your stomach to your lower abdomen, slightly scratching the seam of your panties, and San has placed his lips at your jawline, his voice vibrating in your ear, peppering kisses around the corner of your neck, entrancing you to fall deeper into your mattress, sighing in the calming feeling of your boyfriend.
“Only because you wanna hear me,” you murmur and wrap your arms around his upper body, running your hands across his back muscles that ease into your touch. “And that’s a bad thing, because…?”, San hums and begins to get lower with his kisses and his thumbs caressing where your pantyliner meets your thighs, warming up the small patch of skin there.
“Hmm,” you breathe out, San’s lips working their way down your cleavage, “Good… point.”
San smirks and brings his hands up, not letting a second pass where he is not feeling you under his fingertips. “There is nothing more that I want to hear,” he murmurs, his eyes appearing to become a bit foggy from your scent, San becoming absolutely lost in it, “except you, my love.”
Your breath comes out stuttered and stroke his bangs away to the side in order to have a better view on his face above your breast. He’s radiant, but as much as he’s excited to be doing this, San will stop as soon anything leaves your mouth asking him to, he promised you. In your dream, San just kept going. That’s why you didn’t want to retell the story. He forced you around, he thrusted into you with no choice, and he wouldn’t stop, until your dream cut off without you having orgasmed once throughout the thing.
So the dream itself didn’t get you to want this, and San knows this, the curiosity did. Curiosity of reaching the edge that you missed in your sleep, which you think you can only reach with the real San, with your real boyfriend.
“Can I touch you here, sugar?”, San asks, his upper body hovering over your torso, lips approaching your face, hands gliding up by your waist to meet your ribs. He’s done a good job not staring at your exposed nipples, but following the way from your jawline, neck, and collarbones, this is the next area to appreciate.
“Yes, please,” you answer, cupping your boyfriend’s cheek with one hand, inviting him to kiss you softly. San encloses your breast with a hand that has up to no muscle tension in it, kindly allowing it to get used to the new, but warm contact.
His rosy lips meet yours and he presses several kisses on them, reminding you of how much familiarity you’re dealing with right now. You kiss San all of the time, for all the reasons you love him, and as he kisses you right now, at this sleepy midnight, he’s showing you why sexual intercourse is just a fancy term to describe something so complex, that it actually becomes simple. He loves you. That’s all he has to do to have or not have sex with you.
With his palm, San brushes over your nipple, and by wonder, it hardens and makes goosebumps run over your back.
“You look so beautiful,” San lulls, smooching your lips one more time before he can finally take a look at your breasts and gulp, lick his lips, and ask you, “may I?”
“You may.”
The last kiss lingers delicately on your opened lips, as San breathes in your breast, kneading and softening it up. Automatically, you exhale and run your fingers through his uncombed hair. He sucks once and twirls his tongue around your hardened nipple, and with your very valuable feedback, his other hand draws a long line across your curvature.
“Sannie... Baby…”, you whine, the slow, but sensual licking sending you down a sensation of being tickled and being caressed at the same time.
“Yes, pie?”, San grins, proud that he’s making you feel this way, no, that it’s him that is making you feel this way for the first time in your life. With each of your sweet sounds, his pride and ego grows and his lips lap around your nipples razzingly. 
You tug at his hair and send him down deeper into your skin, slightly pushing him to get his head where you’ve found that you feel best, grabbing the fabric of the bedsheets under you with your other hand.
“It feels so good,” you whine, and San chuckles after seeing your grip, gliding his hand right between your ticklish fingers. 
“Yeah?”, he coos and presses another kiss onto your mouth, adoring the way your eyebrows twitch inside according to his voice. “I’ll make you feel even better…”
San caresses the area under your boob, whispers into your ear, “Will you let me?”, and you nod, words inside your head turning into hazy exhales out of your mouth.
“You won’t regret it,” San chuckles and crosses his fingers into the surface of your hand, using your own hand to slowly, but surely slide down your stomach. You kind of get the idea of what he’s trying to do, but not really the image.
“You think I won’t regret it?”, you ask him, a bit anxious, — it’s your first time, after all— your soft skin under both of your fingertips becoming one, as he leads the hand down. “I don’t know so,” San admits, comforting you by kissing your forehead, “so I’m going to make you believe it, first.”
“Hm?”
San pushes his upper body up with the hand that has been at your breast and glides it behind your back, so he can get between you and the mattress, his naked upper body pressed against your shoulder. He plants an uncountable number of kisses onto your neck, and assists you down to your panties, keeping his eyes on you to confirm you’re okay with all that he’s doing.
You’ve never touched yourself on this bed. The last time you did was somewhere in your gleeful high-school teens, long before you met San, and if you’re honest, you’d rather have him touch you, but when San kisses you on the lips and both of your hands slide under the seam of your underwear. The rough fabric of the lace scrapes San’s hand and you meet the hot slickness you’ve become inside.
“Would you look at that,” San purrs, voice wispy— his finger is the only one to glide against your wet labia and explore the untouched lips. It helps that your hand is down there too, and it feels like a rubber hand illusion, you touching yourself while San does it for you.
“Y/N,” San moans into your ear, stirred by the sensation that is you. “You feel so good, don’t you, sugar?”
You inhale sharply, when San’s finger strokes over your clitoris, and straight away, your boyfriend presses kisses onto your temple. “S- Sannie,” you whine and provoked by your sounds, his finger circles around your clit again. 
Sparks, tingles — you name it. With San kissing you all around the face to counteract the new stimulation, you can’t keep your legs straightened, folding your thighs around your and San’s arm with an overwhelmed sigh. “Sannie…”, you repeat yourself and look him in the eye.
“Aww, sugar,” San smiles and catches your forlorn gaze, flushed and drowned in his kisses. Your cheeks are burning red, but the same thing goes for San. Both of you are drunk in love, falling for each other deeper with every breath you take.
“Is this good?”, he asks and rubs your back with his thumb, the other finger teasing the slick entrance. “Y- yes,” you answer and San crunches his nose in admiration, slowly easing his finger around the tissue. 
“Can you touch yourself for me?”, is San’s second question and you gulp at the sincerity in your boyfriend’s voice. He’s talking two octaves deeper, raspy, lascivious; he’s promiscuous in all he is doing, let it be nibbling at your earlobe, rubbing your clit, caressing your spine with utmost libertine care— you have a feeling you’re developing another crush for your boyfriend.
“Y- yes,” you stutter, but a bit anxious about doing something wrong. It feels so right when San does it, but he’s the more experienced one in this— at least that’s what you think. He removes his hand from the surface of yours and lets you do the rubbing for a short moment, and you try to replicate what he did to you, flicking your finger over your clitoris.
“Doing it so well,” San comments and he raises your upper body with his arm, making you sit up, slithering down while smothering your lower abdomen with sloppy kisses.
“R- really?”, you ask, and San nods, while kissing the inner sides of your thighs, his eyes looking at you sideways. “Of course. It’s your body, Y/N. Your beautiful, gorgeous body.”
As San gutters, you feel something swaying on your clit, when your boyfriend smirks and looks directly at your pussy. He’s so handsome, San is making you nervous, and his eyes are drilling into you lustfully.
“You’re so beautiful everywhere, sugar, what have I done to deserve this?”, he pants, hooking himself from under your thigh, hands resting on your hip bone.
You don’t know what to answer and just flutter with your eyelashes, exhaling, when San sticks his tongue out and slides across your slickness it in one stroke, looking up at you to catch your whiny reaction. He deserves all of it, not because he was patient enough to wait for it, but because San is the one to make you feel this pretty in the first place.
“It’s probably really predictable I was going to say this, but I can’t not say it, ” San gutters, his dimple dug deep into his cheek— he’s smiling, licking his lips, “you taste amazingly sweet, my love.”
You press your lips together and feel like you have to push San into your arousal again by his hair, combing through it. “D- do it again,” you beg, and San’s heart flutters. Not letting you wait, he inhales through his nose and laps his mouth around your glistening cunt. You already knew he was good with his tongue for you have french-kissed him before, but— but this is another type of tongue-work. 
It’s slow, it’s sensual, but it still feels so exhilarating— how he’s sucking in your clitoris, laving over your muscled entrance that reacts to the movement of his tongue; it makes you breathe heavily and let out feathery moans.
“Feels so good,” you hush, and stroke his hair. San hums and at smiles with his eyes, getting one hand away from your leg to slowly run it towards your vagina.
“Are you really going to … make me cum?”, you ask, a bit plumply, both out of rush and nervousness. 
“I would like to, yes,” San answers, kissing you all around the pelvis bone. His lips have become plump and his nose is also painted rosy red from how he planted his face into you. “Will you allow me to?”
“Please be careful,” you appeal and San nods. “Yes, Y/N. I promise I will never do anything to you that will hurt you. Not like that stupid… dream-San you talked about.”
You chuckle and caress his jawline with your thumb, San leaning his head into your hand. “I know you would never do that, Sannie,” you say and prop yourself with an elbow. “Please make me cum.”
San wants to say something, but he bites his lip and suppresses it, crawling closer to your throbbing, heated pussy. “What is it, baby?”, you ask him, and this time, you deliberatelywant to tease him by calling him that, winking slyly at him.
Your boyfriend blinks in disbelief and lets out a light-hearted scoff, his breathing comes in and out stuttered. “Y/N,” San hums, putting a leg over his shoulder and you feel like more air is hitting your wetness, “you have no… idea… what those words are doing to me.”
Your boyfriend gulps, and as you peek at him innocently, having to get used to the new position, he looks amazed and set ablaze. Is this your ‘aroused face’? You, with your lips parted ever-so soppily, looking sultry and lovable— San is savouring this sight, oh, this sight, and saving it into his brain so it will never leave his mind, add it to the collection of his memories of you.
“Show me,” you whisper, a fire starting to enflame in you, demanding San to extinguish it.
“There’s nothing else in the world I’d rather do,” San hums and with that sentence, he’s at your cunt again, but more eager this time. The tongue flicks faster over your clitoris, his pants are getting breathier against your skin— San wants you, wants all of you, and before you know it, there’s a thumb rubbing at the entrance, notifying you that he is going to be penetrating soon.
“I’ll make you come over and over,” San breathes, and his eyes are filled with lust, hunger, desire, thirst— and you gasp at the sight of it alone, but his voice, his heart, his mind, is all painted and drowned in something purely innocent that is love. “Is that alright with you, sweetheart?”
He asks as if you stand a chance to resist him, but San seems to be doing this for the enjoyment that is pleasing you, and you’re more than happy to allow him to have his body all over yours for the sakes or it, because you love him so much. You’re already excited for when you know how to get your body all over his.
“That,” you exhale, feeling his thumb be replaced by his digit, the muscle of your entrance closing in on the finger tip, “is alright with me. I’m in, Mr. Choi, the deal’s settled.”
San chuckles at your light-hearted joke and you giggle as well, which allows his finger to glide into you slowly. Of course you’re tight, but you find it fascinating how your muscles ease around him and suck his finger in, the slickness squelching, as he licks over your slit.
“Looking forward to our cooperation,” he grins, lips pressed against your pussy and you can feel yourself slowly turning into mush. Your abdomen feels strangely ticklish, and there’s this pulling feeling that makes your body rock.
“… Ms. Choi.”
You scoff— San gave you his last name, how silly of him— but your amusement doesn’t hold on for too long, when San begins to move his finger around, angling it up and down.
“Mmhf,” you gutter and your legs close down on his head, the second leg finding its place on his other shoulder. “That—“, you try to gasp, but San being the quick learner he is, keeps stroking that one spot which got to this reaction in the first place.
“S- San!”, you whine; fuzzy, dizzy, light-heated, feeling like you’re going to shoot into space, to other worlds, and come right back to earth. In the meanwhile, your boyfriend’s tongue flicks even faster, head stuck between your thighs, his finger sliding in and out of you until you’re a whimpering mess.
“I’m here, baby,” he murmurs, finally looking up to you, wishing to meet your eyes again, but your head is rolling to the back, your upper body feels heavy and you slightly fall to the back, having to grab his hair to support yourself.
“I- I,” you stutter, feeling like there’s something that’s sizzling for explosion, and it seems San is feeling it too, in the way your pussy is tightening around his finger, and half-laughing out of glee about this discovery, San props himself up a little bit, your lower body raised from the mattress.
“Cum, sugar, cum,” he whispers, and as he adds a second finger that fills you up in a way that one finger couldn’t achieve, you fully suffocate him with your thighs, the thin string holding you away from release finally snapping. 
“Fuck!”, you moan, and at first, San is surprised about your cussing, but then his eyes grow big, when there is more fluid coming out of your vagina that hasn’t been there beforehand. Explosion, sweet release, what should you call it? An orgasm— that’s what this is, but no, you’re also squirting, lower body spasming as you do so, and San is trying to react quickly by slurping it all in, but it’s too much— your bed gets wet. He drives the two fingers in and out and makes you a mess, makes a mess, makes you messy, getting all your squirt out and inside his mouth.
“San— Sannie— Baby!”, you pant, overstimulated by his fingers and lips that will just not stop, and you fear you’re going to choke your boyfriend to death with your thighs, but the same tingle appears in your lower abdomen again, felt everywhere in your tightness.
“Come on, come on, come on,” San growls, short of breath, and by angling his fingers upwards your walls, you see stars again, throwing your head into the bed and you pull at his hair, harshly and roughly, gripping his scalp for dear life, when you’re shot into bliss again.
“Ooooh baby,” San howls wispily, repeating his motion, but less ecstatic this time in order to not make you pass out from pleasure, if that happens at all.
And as licks the remaining fluid of his lips, and gets you back down again, San doesn’t lose any of his excitement, hair ruffled by your grip, lips swollen from using them so much. “Can I do that again? Can I please do that again?”
“Wha— What about you?”, you ask, panting, knowing that the penis inside his pyjamas has been hard since almost an eternity, but it seems like San doesn’t care about that at all. He looks euphoric, he looks like he saw a god (a goddess, mind you) and San just shakes his head.
“Don’t think about me, I’m,” he admits, and what you don’t know is that he just came inside his pants, when San saw your stunning orgasm-face— and he definitely has to clean it up before it soaks through, “all cared for here.”
San shuffles away from your legs to your face and kisses your forehead, wiping a bit of sweat away. “I’m gonna get towels and you’re gonna make yourself ready for a second time, alright?”
“But—“
“Will there be a ‘but’?”, San asks, and he’s prepared to let all go and just take a shower, but you just scratch your neck. “Don’t you want to fuck … me?”
“Ohhh, don’t worry, sugar, I want and will,” San grins and you smile, feeling a bit light-headed because of your first orgasm. For this to be your first orgasm, while many of your friends had their first time without having orgasmed—… it’s a lot, to admit the least.
Not to say that you’re trying to compare with them and feel superior, but if this is what’s waiting for is worth, you’d spend all that time again. 
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Again. And again, and—
“Again!”
You’re breathing heavily, skin slippy from your sweat — or, well, both of you are covered in body fluids, there are pearls of sweat dropping down on San, who, despite rubbing you clean with his hands, doesn’t even bother anymore to dry his wet arm anymore.
“Sannie,” you exhale, when San kisses your from behind, as you sit between his legs, “I- I th-think this is enough, I’m r-ready.”
“Hmmm?”, he hums, pressing his naked upper body at your back, his two fingers coming out of you for the nth time. Your hips have been spasming around for a long while now, and you feel sensitive and over-stimulated at your clitoris, but if there is one thing you’re still curious about after all those orgasms, it’s how San feels inside you not with his fingers but his girth.
“I want your dick inside,” you command directly, too sex-drunk to express your wish in any other way.
“Are you sure?”, San asks and kisses the nape of your neck. “We can do it any other time, sugar-pie, aren’t you tired by now?”
“Are you?”
“Of course not.”
You turn your head around and slightly pant, seeing San not lose any of his desirous colour in his eyes. “Then let’s not lose any time.”
San presses a deep kiss on your temple before he leaves your back, and you feel the warmth of his lips sit there, as he positions himself at the front, on his knees. He still has his boxer-shorts on, but that only goes so far, when he’s been leaking with pre-cum, never-mind has come in the same set an hour ago.
You can see it perfectly— San’s length, his girth, the way it moves by itself under the fabric; it looks captivating as much as it is arousing you again after all the times you’ve orgasmed this evening. 
“Do you want to touch me?”, San asks, and trails his own hand over his breast, giving you an idea of what you can do to pleasure him. 
“Yes, baby,” you answer and get on your knees as well, grabbing San by the hips and caressing the seam of his shorts with your thumbs. In the meanwhile, your lips seek for his vicinity and you place kisses on his neck. “I’d love to.”
“I love you so much,” San sighs and holds you by your head tenderly with both hands, cupping the circular form, feeling you get a taste of his sweaty skin at his neck. His Adam’s apple bops, when you slightly pull his boxers down and there’s resistance from his erection.
“You have a big dick, right?”, you ask, and San coughs— he was expecting you to say ‘I love you’ back first.
“U- uh,” he stammers, “yeah. It’s- uhm. I hope it’s not too big, Y/N.”
“Can it be too big?”
You ask him with genuine curiosity and San scratches the back of his head. “I was preparing you thoroughly for it, honey, that’s all… I can say.”
He harrumphes in the awkward conversation, and before he can get shy from your stare, you chuckle and kiss him, “I love you too, Sannie. I couldn’t imagine doing this with any other person.”
Your boyfriend slides his hand to your jaw and pulls up your head to kiss you, mumbling, “only do this with me, Y/N,” into your lips.
As his lips work against yours, you slide down your hands into his boxer-shorts and use your wrists to spread the spandex, getting San’s underwear off. 
With your eyes closed, you hear San breathe in deeply through his nose and he rubs your back with both of his hands to push your naked body against his. 
His dick feels hot, wet and mild, when it presses against your abdomen, and you subconsciously grind your lower body to identify it better. It is big. The two fingers don’t even come close to what you’re working with here, and in the moment, it’s really good that you feel loosened up by the numerous times San made you come.
“Please touch me,” San instructs you and you nod, opening your eyes to see his glistening tip pointed towards you. Without waiting, you leniently wrap your hand around it and San parts your lips to pant.
“I don’t think I’ll hold on for long,” he whimpers, and his pelvis twitches, when you squeeze your hand around the soft, heated, slick muscle.
“Wait, Sannie… Do we have condoms?”, you ask and to your surprise, San opens up the cupboard. You loosely remember when San asked you if he should buy condoms at the beginning of your relationship, and you know that you answered with an ‘I don’t know’ back then.
A year later, it turns out San has bought a pack, but didn’t talk about it until the time was ripe. “Do you want to do it for me?”, he asks you, ripping apart the plastic wrapper with his finger and mouth. That this took a wet dream to realise is funny to you, but as you’re in the moment, you can only gulp in anticipation.
You nod and continue to pump his length in your grasp, when you’re handed the flimsy condom. Is that even going to fit around him?
“Yes, it is going to fit,” San giggles at your subconsciously asked question, and then kisses you, “did dream-San wear a condom?”
You place the center of the condom on the tip of penis and slowly glide down the lubed silicone by the ring.
“No, I don’t think so,” you murmur, though you couldn’t care any less about your dream right now. San hums and bucks up his hip into your hand, making the condom hit the end of his length.
It frankly looks quite comical, the way the white outlines your boyfriend’s dick, but before you can laugh, San delicately pushes you at your ass— other hand on the back of your head to not make you hit the bed-frame, with you landing on your back, legs angled towards the sky.
San tsk’s about his alter-ego’s wrong-doings and shakes his head. “I think your brain has a very twisted image of me.”
You chuckle at how sulky San is about it, though you can’t take any responsibility. You also don’t know how your brain cooked up the imagination of San ramming into you raw, especially when your biggest fear has been that things were going to hurt. (Now that you know they don’t, you’re good to go, you think.)
But the real San touches you softly, carefully, endearingly faintly, even if his dick looks intimidatingly big; you’re covering your mouth at the sight of it alone. 
“Come on, don’t be shy now,” San grins and flops his protected peen on your pussy, the girth of it weighing down on your sensitive bud.
“Sannie, baby, please be gentle,” you whine and San caresses your cheek, not finding your plead in any way offensive. 
“I will, sweetheart,” he whispers, and his voice sounds sweet, melts sweetly in your ears, but when his tip is there, at your entrance, you have to grab his hand at your cheek forcefully.
It’s a stretch. If you had known it would have come to this, you would have asked San to add a third, no, maybe even a fourth finger, but maybe he knew too, that even that wouldn’t have helped with a lot.
Not to say that it hurts, but to feel your muscle be extended as he just pushes in the tip, you’re already panting. San intertwines his fingers and leans forward, trying to calm you down. “Are you okay, baby?”, he asks, pouting. “I can stop.”
“N- no,” you stutter, though the bit of movement has had him slide in deeper and thus, your cunt be stretched further. “It’s okay. Just be slow. I can do it.”
“No, Y/N, you have to want it,” San sighs and you press your face against his hand. “I want it,” you murmur, glancing up at him. “I want you, Sannie.”
He smiles in awe of your droopy eyes and luscious lips reaffirming your love to him, and San inhales deeply. “I’ll move a bit more, okay?”
“Okay.”
Both of you inhale at the same time, but it’s San this time to moan it out. “Oh, god,” he whimpers, “feels so good, Y/N. Feels so fucking good.”
And this is where you close your eyes and let your boyfriend do his thing over you, because San’s sounds are candy to your ears. He’s doing it slowly, and heaven knows he can’t push it just entirely just yet, but the first third that San has inside you is enough to make you grip the sheets.
“Are you alright? Baby, is it too much? Can I do more?”, San whines, and you’re too weak-hearted for his arousal-sake, that you sigh sultrily and say, “Sannie, you know what to do.”
“No, no, baby, please don’t say things like that, I really won’t—“
He groans and pushes himself further in. You have to strain your forehead and pull in your eyebrows to work around the fact that you have never felt your cunt be stuffed in like this, and oh god, you feel so stuffed.
“Baby, please tell me when you want me to stop,” San begs you, concerned about your facial expression, kissing your cheek repeatedly. 
“This just feels unfamiliar, that’s all,” you whimper and San pulls out a little bit while you talk. “But you will tell me, right?”, he asks you, and gets a nod in return. You should be seeing black in front of you, given that you’ve closed your eyes, but after San pushes himself in again, there’s a piercing zap that makes you open your eyes wide.
“Sannie, wait—“
He immediately stops and both of you look at each other. San doesn’t move, anxious that anything will make you more anxious, when you grab him by his arms. 
And with one glance down, you see it.
Blood.
Not a lot, fortunately so, but still, bleeding from your privates outside your period is terrifying, and it makes all of your heat flee away— 
Blood!
There’s not a scream or a gasp leaving your mouth, rather just a short soundless inhale that indicates your surprise, when you close your eyes and cover them with the surface of your hands.
Blood?!
“Oh my god, sugar,” San exclaims silently, you don’t know if this is a first for him as well— and though both of you don’t panic as loudly as you could have, your boyfriend still looks mortified, eyes ripped open, mouth opened by a slit, when you remove your palms from your eyelids. “Did I hurt you? Did it hurt? Oh my god, Y/N, I’m so sorry, I—“
“No, Sannie, it didn’t hurt— It didn’t—“
Not panicking, but still both stammering and not aware of what to do with your hands. 
He pulls out and covers your private with the towel that he used to catch your fluid before, and San immediately claims a serious expression on his face, looking around to find something for you to hold onto. He finds you a pillow, puts it over your stomach, and you cuddle into it, trying to catch a breath. 
You didn’t lie. It didn’t hurt, it really didn’t. At least not even half the the amount of blood that is covering the towel, and you don’t think anything else (let it be more preparation or whatever) could have had helped you two in this situation. Is it just a matter of luck? Of your body? Well, maybe you’re out of luck and your body is going lax as well.
San is removing the condom from his dick and fetching his boxer-shorts again to fully call it quits, using approximately 4 seconds before he disappears in your arms again and smothers you with kisses.
“But— but Sannie…”, you whimper, feeling kind of guilty to be leaving him hanging like this after he’s done so much for you, but he silences you with his lips.
“Don’t you dare say sorry, sugar-pie,” San smiles and brushes over your hair, continuing to peck your face, as he hugs you from aside, and his warm skin soothes the goosebumps you got from seeing red on yourself. “As long you’re not hurting.”
“Do you want to take a shower or do you want to sleep?”, San asks you and you shiver a little bit once the adrenaline has worn down and all that provides you comfort is your boyfriend’s vicinity. “I don’t know, Sannie,” you murmur into his breast and a hand rubs your back. You’re still naked, but San covers you up with a blanket. “You don’t have to know, sugar,” San whispers and rests his chin on top of your head. “Just be here with me, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I love you, Y/N.”
You nod into his embrace, feeling exhausted, worn out and tired, and you start to breathe heavily into his skin, San rubbing his thumb across your lower back to match the rhythm of your breathing, your heartbeat slowing down.
You’re safe.
You’re home.
You’re not dreaming, you’re with your boyfriend, Choi San, and even though nobody will know what kind of dreams will visit you, what nightmares will make you wake up in the middle of the night, you’re, well, in love.
Comfortable, soft, warm, at ease, serene — happy; this is what love feels like. A dream doesn’t come close to the unworried warmth love provides, to the warmth the real San provides, and while you doze off, you and San whisper affirmations into each other’s presence that you’ll,
“Dream of me, Y/N.”
912 notes · View notes
phantomrose96 · 7 months
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"Okay but we're all totally recommending Gideon the Ninth to our male friends, right? Because can we TALK about what good male character representation Gideon the Ninth has?? Because it's literally so so good.
First off there's Palamedes, who's witty and smart and sarcastic and he literally solves like half the plot. Literally the plot would not have worked without him. And he's regularly shown to be smarter than even Harrow. And best of all, no one ever questions him or belittles him for being a man. Literally everyone treats him like an equal, even the women who see him as an enemy.
Then there's Isaac, who really feels like a real teenager he's so fleshed out. He's got a lot of personality and angst and big emotions, and the author literally never once sexualizes him. Like you know she gets it. Then Magnus is literally so nurturing and wholesome, he's like a genius inversion of the usual Strong Man trope. Literally God HIMSELF is a man.
It's really refreshing how much you can tell the author is a staunch meninist, just from the way the narrative respects all the men across the board. The only time a woman belittles a man is when Ianthe belittles Naberius, but she does that to everyone so it's not sexist. Plus Naberius is a bad ass. He literally beats Gideon in a duel. In fact the only male characters who feel like "bad" male rep are maybe the eighth house, cuz they're both kinda stereotypical male personalities... but when you consider there are 4 or maybe even 5 other prominent men in the story, it stops being "bad male stereotype" and just becomes "good male diversity :)". I really wish more authors felt brave enough to include 4 or even 5 prominent male characters, who all MATTER to the story.
Like I think that's what gets me? It was like every male character mattered. All the main character women wouldn't have gotten to where they did if not for the men who were playing SUPER important secondary roles to them? And those men weren't just there for love interests either, except kinda Palamedes whose whole motivation was the two women he's in love with, but it's REALLY done well! He literally has full autonomy of his choices the whole time and when he steers the trajectory of his whole life for the women he's in love with, it's genuinely so human and heartfelt.
But yeah it's like they were all HUMANS. It was so refreshing how easy it was to empathize with them? It wasn't like "they were men", it was like "the author knows these characters are humans, and they are men too". Idk how to explain it but it makes me really feel like I can understand men better when I usually think they're such a mystery or just really shallow in books :). I just think men should know books like this exist and that they know authors like Tamsyn Muir are out there and they get it :)."
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prince-kallisto · 6 months
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Vil, Meleanor, and the Virgin Mary: Crowley’s Obsession
I haven’t seen anyone talk about this, but it’s driving me insane: Vil and Meleanor’s design parallel each other SO MUCH that it’s not even funny. In fact, I think Vil is foreshadowing EVERYTHING about Meleanor’s fate and Crowley’s plans.
I know I’m just coping lol, but I think I finally figured out why Crowley is so obsessed with the Fairest Queen and Pomefiore if he was Levan. Here me out: Vil is the representation of Meleanor.
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Vil’s Overblot form is what immediately caught my attention. The way his cape connects to his hands, the night sky on his cape, the corset and the gems. The way the edges of his dress looks like old, torn paper, like history long since forgotten. Not to mention how he has claws like Crowley and is wearing Crowley’s same exact shade of blue. Just…this entire silhouette with the sleeves and crown matches Meleanor more than Malleus’s Overblot does. Strange how both Vil and Meleanor are associated with stars, when Crowley has a lot of star designs on the curtains in his office.
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In his dorm uniform, look how the gloves and the lace has a similar design as Meleanor’s. Not to mention how in this vignette, Vil is like a “Queen reborn” with “two knights” at his side. Hm?? Like Meleanor with Lilia and Baul, perhaps?
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Something I’ve always found strange is how much Crowley dotes on Vil. In both his history and flight lessons, Vil comments a lot on Crowley when a Special Lesson is triggered. Doesn’t it feel…almost uncomfortable??? Vil feeling “eyes” on him specifically when Crowley is there. And there isn’t clarification if Vil is speaking to Yuu or Crowley, but when he says “I’m just fine,” it makes me wonder if Crowley was asking Vil how he was doing.
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This isn’t just limited to the lessons. Although Crowley played a less significant role in Book 5 than I thought he would, doesn’t he sound very affectionate when he says this?? “What I’ve always taken you for”…he holds great pride in Vil and how represents the history and beauty of Pomefiore. Crowley has NEVER shown this much of a bias towards any student before. Only Vil.
I can hear some of you asking: Why in the world would Crowley/Levan care so much about Vil if MALLEUS and DIASOMNIA exists? Here’s the thing: Vil simply represents more of who Meleanor was as an evil, proud princess.
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He is proud, he is beautiful, he truly understands the power of his beauty, how to make people submit to him with harsh truths. He has a certain charm and pride in his accomplishments that Malleus doesn’t.
But what REALLY got me was the religious symbolism in Vil’s Overblot form. @pianostarinwonderland made a really amazing post on the resemblances Vil has to the Virgin Mary and the Lady of Sorrows.
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The Lady of Sorrows is another “form” of the Virgin Mary- which ironically enough, is depicted with SEVEN swords piercing her HEART. Sometimes she is depicted with only one sword- more on that later. The Virgin Mary is considered to be the holiest of saints- a figure of worship. She is also considered to be the “god-bearer.” Her death is referred to as the Dormition of the Mother of God, Aka the “falling asleep of the god-bearer.”
And back to the swords in her heart, the seven swords represent the Seven Sorrows, but the singular sword represents the Prophecy of Simeon.
The prophecy of Simeon said something like Mary’s child would be the RISE and FALL of many in Israel, and that a sword would pierce through Mary’s heart too, as an allusion to the crucifixion. Because Mary would suffer alongside her son, the one curse of motherhood. Stars are also significant in Christian mythology, like the star of Bethlehem to guide the wise men to the birthplace of Mary’s child. Another significant “star” is the Morning Star, Aka Lucifer. The Morning Star title is based off Venus, whose Greek name means “the light bringer” or “the DAWN bringer.”
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If all of these things I’m saying reminds you about the imagery in TWST, I feel like this is purposeful! Lets back up and go over each of these points and how it relates to TWST (I am not religious, so if any of this is inaccurate, please let me know!)
Crowley in the opening seems to worship his “benefactor,” and I’ve been theorizing that it’s Meleanor whose trapped in the Dark Mirror. She is quite literally a figure of worship to him- the holiest of saints. And with Meleanor being the mother of Malleus, who is one of the most powerful mages in the world, doesn’t it sound similar to be a “god-bearer?”
The swords through her heart not only sounds like a connection to Meleanor’s death, but to Maleficent’s too. The sword of truth piercing her heart- but not only that, Vil’s Overblot crown LITERALLY has the design of a singular sword piercing through a heart. Yes, its a representation of the Evil Queen demanding Snow Whites heart, but why is Vil’s design combined with the Virgin Mary of all figures??
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I bolded “prophecy” because I think Levan is heavily connected to prophetic powers, but doesn’t this prophecy sound A LOT like Meleanor’s blessing on Malleus? Malleus would be the benevolent star to the Fae, and an evil star to humankind. Like the Star of Bethlehem for the Fae, and the Morning Star for humans…and the Morning Star is heavily connected to the DAWN. Dawn Knight? Silver???
It doesn’t help that Dragon Fae seem to be ostracized by humans for their horns. Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty though, refers to her powers as “powers of Hell,” heavily leaning toward his demon like design.
Meleanor suffered to protect Malleus. She gave him up and fought an entire army to better his chances of survival because she loved him so much. And if Meleanor is trapped in the mirror and will be brought back to “life,” all of this suffering stemmed from the fact she sacrificed herself for Malleus.
SNDJDHSJSJDJD STOP IT TWST WHY DOES THIS ALL FIT TOGETHER SO WELL????? YANAAAAA HELP
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But do you see what I mean on how I think Vil is slyly foreshadowing EVERYTHING? Not only that, but look at his Overblot design again. At his waist, there are sharp crystal-looking objects surrounding him. I think these represent broken mirror shards. This, combined with all the coffin imagery at NRC, Epel’s Unique Magic, and Malleus’s making everyone fall asleep like Aurora or Snow White…
Perhaps Meleanor really is trapped in the mirror, put in a death-like sleep…but one day she will be freed, like Aurora or Snow White with the power of true loves kiss. Until then, Vil is the closest representation of her to Crowley. Someone who understands the power of beauty to make others submit, someone to worship.
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inbarfink · 6 months
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I'm pretty sure my very first post about 'Fionna and Cake' was about pointing out this line in "Fionna Campbell"
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Is a reference to "I Remember You", where Marceline said that very same line to Ice King
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At the time I just took it as another little bit of Foreshadowing for the connection between Fionnaworld and Simon.
But now that we've established a bit more about Cake's plights, and I started thinking more about this... I wonder if this line is meant to highlight the ways in which Simon's struggles under the Curse of the Magic Crown and Cake's struggles after having her Magic taken away from her kinda mirror each other.
You know, turning into Ice King took away Simon's mind and ability to reason (by pumping his brain full of Madness and Sadness) and his ability to communicate (by tanking his already-kinda-awkward communication skills) and even kinda took away his body.
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And becoming an ordinary cat did all of these things for Cake as well - took away her mind and ability to reason (by giving her an intelligence closer to a regular housecat) and her ability to communicate (by making her unable to speak or even comprehend human speech)
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And taking away her voice and the Stretchy body that is clearly the one she feels most comfortable with.
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And ... so what happened in that scene back in IRY is Ice King, in the middle of writing a love song about Princess Bubblegum, suddenly has a moment of Clarity about how lonely and miserable he is. Enough Clarity to know that he's unfathomably sad and that there's something Wrong with him that's sabotaging all of his relationship - but not enough clarity to know what it is. So he just... has a total breakdown
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Lashing out and throwing ice magic anywhere. Then Marceline, uncomfortable and worried about Ice King's behavior, tackles him and says the Line.
Meanwhile, in the first episode of 'Fionna and Cake'...
Both Fionna and Cake feel like there's something off about their lives, But Fionna can at least articulate it better as like, general ennui or a quarter-life crisis, rather than Cake's little housecat mind not really comprehending or capable of fully expressing what she's feeling at all.
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Leading to concerning behavior such as her apparently not eating for the last three days.
And suddenly, she has her moment of Clarity. She sees these Portal Sparkles and she seems to know on some level that they'll do something good for her. Especially as she tries to shove her head in the ice
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And later is shown obsessed with ice in general - even without the sparkles directly being around.
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On some level, Cake understands the mechanics of the Portal Sparkles better than Fionna does - but on all other levels she's still a housecat and probably has no idea what is going on with her own mind as well.
And from Fionna's perspective she's just acting weird and spreading ice all over the house and lashing out at her in her confusion over her own feelings.
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I think, perhaps whatever part of Simon's subconscious has subtle control over Fionnaworld noticed the similarities between Cake's situation and his own memories of being the Ice King - and thus, Marceline's old words coming out of Fionna's mouth.
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The similarities don't end there, either. Cake and Simon both have to go through a lot grief with people still treating them as their old selves. General folks in Ooo treating Simon like Ice King
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And Fionna's tendency to be overprotective of Cake even though Cake is now an incredibly OP shapeshifter and Fionna's still just an athletic human
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And to speak for her even though she can speak for herself now
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And sometimes kinda condescending to her about her own judgement
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All make Cake feel, and not unjustifiably so, that Fionna still sees her as her old self, as a Housecat. She literally says so in the same episode where Fionna and Cake's friendship is tested the most.
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And Cake's anxious desire to bring Magic into her world even after it was confirmed that she can at least stay as herself in Fionnaworld, I think that's also a mirror of Simon's anxieties. Simon felt like he, an ordinary non-magical man, could never truly fit in within the wacky and magical world of Ooo
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And Cake might've been afraid of the same being true in reverse about being a Magical Cat in the least Magical world in the whole multiverse. At the very least she must've been worried about being forced to pretend to be a non-magical cat again like Simon tried to make her do back in Farmworld.
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(Remember how her failure to pull this off almost got her eaten?)
And in the end, the resolution to both of these mirror dilemma was... kind of the same? Well, sort of. Fionnaworld now has a bit more of the Magic and Weirdness in it but it's not like Simon made Mainworld Ooo less wacky. But even with that extra bit of Multiverse Wackiness going on in Fionnaworld now... if the Normal Guy can get along among the strange and magical creatures
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The Magical Cat can get along with all the normal and mundane people.
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crushmeeren · 6 months
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Bakugou/Female Reader/Todoroki
Warnings; Female Anatomy/Pronouns, Vaginal Sex, Anal Sex (double penetration), Pussy Eating, Blow Jobs, Squirting, reader gets cream pied in the end, Angst/Comfort, Cursing
Note; This is my first time writing for this pairing and I’ve wanted to for so long so I hope you all enjoy the brain food! 💜💜
AO3 Link; Miscommunications💥🍰
Word Count; 10.1k
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It’s normal when you and Katsuki argue. It’s normal when Shouto and Katsuki argue. What isn’t normal, is when you and Shouto argue. You absolutely fucking hate it when you do. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does it always leaves you with a lump in your throat and the feeling of icy fingers twisting your belly with unease. Yet, this past week or so, despite you trying your hardest to avoid having a fight with Shouto, you can’t help but burn with agitation towards the hero.
He’s told you and Katsuki, three times this week mind you, that he was going to be home from work in time to eat dinner before it was too late. Each time he’s shown up late enough that Katsuki just ended up putting a plate in the fridge for him while you two went to bed. He’s missed each night this week and the last, that the three of you are able to have a meal together. Sometimes you wake up to him crawling into the bed hours after you and Katsuki have fallen asleep. You wonder if Shouto feels a pang of sadness when he slips into the bed and notices you and Katsuki curled up together, naked, realizing he’s also missed the rare opportunity when the three of you have enough energy to have sex together. The petty part of you hopes he does.
It’s not like the three of you don’t understand that hero work has never been a job where you’re able to really get home at a scheduled time. You all understand that shit happens. It happens to Katsuki often. It happens to you as well. However lately, Shouto doesn’t even make an effort to keep his fucking phone charged! So you end up leaving irritated voicemails, not letting Katsuki do it because then it’ll really be a fight.
“Pick up the fucking phone, Shouto,” you bite, once again speaking to his damn voicemail. You’re sitting on one of the bar stools at the island in your open kitchen. The leather like material sticking to the bottoms of your thighs and it pisses you off even more. You shift your thighs to unstick them and set your phone down, screen side landing harshly onto the granite counter top. Fuck, you hope the screen didn’t crack. You pick it up gingerly and look at the screen. It doesn’t seem any more scratched than it was before.
You set it down again and lift your hands up to rub them over eyes in irritation. Truthfully you’re starting to feel really really upset at this point. Katsuki tells you not to worry about it, Shouto has always been this much of an airhead. Not to bad mouth him, but you know it’s true. He’s so smart in terms of hero work, but can be so fucking thick when it comes to relationships. You let out a drawn out sigh and try to ignore the hurt that keeps twisting your belly.
“Strawberry shortcake not answer his phone again?” Katsuki asks, voice colored with irritation. Your gaze flickers to one of your boyfriends, roaming the well defined muscles in his shoulders and back. If you weren’t so upset you’d take more time to appreciate his lean body in the moment. He’s wearing a black tank top, black sweats, and he looks as pretty as he always does. Katsuki’s standing at your stove.
You track the movements of his arm as it flexes slightly when he moves the wooden spoon around the pan, stirring the rice. He’s busy cooking a new recipe of fried rice he’s been dying to make for all three of you. It smells so fucking good and you feel second hand hurt in your chest for Katsuki. He was so excited to cook this for you and Sho tonight. You know he wont really show that his feelings are hurt though. Your lips tug into a frown at the thought and you drum your fingers on the counter top.
“No, fucking of course he didn’t,” you mumble, sounding defeated and feeling your eyes start to sting with tears. You really fucking miss him. The way Shouto’s been acting the past couple weeks has really been weighing heavily on your mind and your heart. You’ve started to question whether or not he really wants to be with you and Katsuki. If he still loves you. If he did, why would he miss out on the precious chances the three of you rarely get to spend a night in together?
Of course you’re probably being dramatic, but you can’t help it. The thought makes your chest ache, like someone shoved a fist through your solar plexus. Your body flushes hotly as you get even more worked up, heart beat picking up. It makes you feel like you can’t eat the delicious food Kat has made and you swallow around the lump in your throat, sniffling a little as you feel your eyes well up with tears.
Katsuki is either a mind reader or he heard the little sniffle you did. You actually wouldn’t be surprised if he could somehow read minds. His own belly swirls with anger realizing you’re about to cry. He pauses his movements when you both hear his hands start to crackle, he’s fucking pissed off at Shouto. He turns the heat of the stove off and he moves the pan over to a safe spot on the counter so it won’t burn. Katsuki turns around swiftly to get a look at your sad little face. Your cheeks red, eyes shiny, and you won’t make eye contact with him. He scowls, eye brows scrunching as he makes his way around the counter to stand next to you.
“Look at me, idiot,” he rumbles, crossing his arms in front of his chest. You still refuse to turn your chair, not wanting him to see the expression on your face. He lets out a frustrated sound and grips the back of your chair, physically swiveling your seat so your body is facing him. He steps in between your thighs and you tilt your head downwards, chin resting on your chest. You cross your arms and sniffle again. Katsuki sighs and reaches a hand out to grip your chin.
You feel the way his calloused fingers wrap around the shape of your chin, pressing gently into the muscle as he guides your head up to look at him. You notice his fingers are slightly damp as your eyes flit back and forth when you stare into his pretty scarlet eyes. He glances down and sees the tears that have started to flow quickly down your cheeks and his sharp expression softens a little bit. He lets go of your chin.
“I’m just frustrated. Why doesn’t he want to spend time with us Kat? I don’t understand what’s going through Shos head,” you say in a watery voice, lower lip trembling. You quickly use your hands to wipe away your tears. Katsuki wraps his arms around your neck, bringing you close to bury your face in his chest. The warmth of his chest bleeds through his tank top on to your cheeks and it feels so comforting, warming the parts of your heart that had started to feel cold. You frantically snake your hands around his waist, hugging him tightly, yearning for his affection. He happily gives it to you.
“You know Shoutos head is 90% filled with hot air sweetheart. He’s not doing this on purpose, he loves both of us and he’s just been really busy lately. You know how his asshat of a dad is, pushing Sho past his limits. Trust me, things will be okay,” he says lowly, voice soothingly deep. As much as Shouto is pissing him off, he knows the dumbass isn’t doing this voluntarily. Endeavor is still an asshole. Katsuki rubs his cheek on the top of your head, feeling your soft hair tickle his skin, before placing a soft kiss near your hairline. He starts to run a hand up and down your upper back comfortingly.
“It just hurts Kat,” you say, voice cracking as your shoulders start to jolt with sobs, shaking in his hold. You don’t have any control of the frustration and and hurt spilling out of you and onto Katsuki. He shoulders it, being the strong hero for you that he always is. He holds you tight and lets you cry. The weight of it is a lot, you’ve been letting it build up for the last two weeks and you haven’t cried this hard in a long time. He squeezes you even tighter, noticing his tank become soaked with tears, it cools against his skin. He feels your exhales and lets out a soft growl of anger under his breath.
“I’m gonna kick his ass,” he says, voice sounding rough. You grip the soft material on Katsukis back and fist it with your fingers. You continue to cry for a few minutes, feeling the wet fabric rubbing against your cheeks, heart hammering and stomach clenching painfully as you get pummeled with sobs. You really do try not to get snot on his shirt. He hugs you, not complaining once, continuing to rub your back gently.
You start to feel like you’re getting lightheaded from breathing so heavily and you lean your head back to try and take deep breaths of air to calm down, hiccups pushing through every so often. Katsuki lets his grip loosen and you lean back further, dropping your hands from his back and letting them fall into your lap. He brings his hands up to run his thumbs under your eyes, wiping away stray liquid.
“Feel any better sweetheart?” he asks gently, well as gentle as his voice can be. You sniff and nod once, grabbing his hand and tugging on it, wanting to pull him forward. He goes easily, leaning down into your space, he places a hand on the counter top and the other on the top of your thigh. His fingers dig into the skin there. You tilt your head upwards, eyes feeling puffy, but your belly flutters pleasurably with warmth as Katsukis lips brush softly across yours. Both of you have let your eyes squeeze shut. You press further, firmly sealing your lips with his. He feels so soft and so warm and you feel him let out a small moan as your lips start to roll together slowly and sensually. You swallow his noises eagerly.
The kiss feels sweet, intimate, and extremely comforting as you take his affection and let it fill you up. You smooth your hands up his chest and let them rest near his collarbone. As your thumbs run over the straps of his tank top you both tilt your heads, moving yours from right to left and his the opposite as you kiss slowly, feeling his tongue swipe across your bottom lip. You whimper softly and open your mouth on the next meeting of your lips. You feel his tongue slip inside of your mouth, running against yours and licking the soft pallet on the roof of your mouth. Tingles shoot down your spine and you gasp softly, breaking away from the kiss with a wet noise. Katsuki feels his dick throb.
The two of you rest your foreheads together, chests rising and falling quickly as you catch your breath.
“Kat, I’m sorry, I don’t think I can eat anything. I just wanna go to bed,” you say, trying to will away the sting behind your eyes that you’re starting to feel again. You move your hands up to frame his face with your hands. Katsuki moves back from the embrace and you let your hands fall from his face as you chew your bottom lip. You take in his sharp features and see his cheeks are pink, his expression remaining neutral. His eyes remain the same as always though, full of love for you.
“Let me take you to bed then little love,” he purrs. You smile softly at his sweet words and your eyes widen when he leans down quickly and slips his hands under your thighs, grabbing firmly and lifting you up. You let out a sound of surprise and cling to him. Your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms hugging his neck. He walks the two of you to your bedroom and he drops you down on the bed, near the edge, letting you bounce a couple times. You move back till you’re able to lay your head on a pillow and reach your arms out for him.
“Come here Katsuki,” you whisper, waiting patiently as you see his mouth pull into a smirk. The air heats up between the two of you, not a blaze, but a low, warm smolder as he strips his tank top off. Like a fire where the wood only glows orange and red, nothing but embers left. You watch him crawl towards you on the bed, you let him strip the both of you bare. He pulls the covers over the two of you in the mostly dark room. You let him slip inside of your pussy easily. He moves sweet and slow, making love to you as the two of you are wrapped up together. You let him fill you with comfort and love, falling asleep quickly afterwards.
Later on Katsuki ventures back to the kitchen to put away the rice, contemplating what he’s going to tell the red and white dumbass when he gets home. Katsuki sits at their kitchen bar top for an hour or so, falling asleep with his chin in his hand, head snapping back up as he jolts awake.
He rubs his eyes sleepily and taps his phone to see the time. He realizes it’s getting close to midnight and he grips the counter so hard he swears it cracks. His hot temper flares and he grinds his teeth together, moving his hand away from the counter, not wanting it to explode. Katsuki leaves a very angry and colorful note for Shouto in the kitchen and goes to bed. He slips under the covers, pulling you close and relaxing slightly when you snuggle into his chest.
It must be close to 1 am when you feel a cool arm wrap around your belly, rousing you slightly from your sleep. You had been sleeping on your left side, facing Katsuki, with your right leg tucked up a little bit. Your left arm was under your pillow when Shoutos arm tugs you into his solid chest. Shoutos soft nose tickling the back of your neck. Usually you’d turn around once you feel him slip in the bed, nuzzling noses with him and trading, soft, slow kisses in greeting. You’re still more than half asleep but you still feel unsettled, hurt and you don’t turn around. You let him curl up behind you.
It’s become a habit, something the three of you do every time one of you comes home late and the other two are fast asleep. You know Shouto is waiting for it and you can tell he realizes something his wrong. You feel the arm wrapped around you squeeze a little bit tighter and can physically feel his arm get cooler in response to his emotions.
He knows you’re partially awake when you pull the blanket up and cover both of your shoulders, making sure the blanket is also tugged up on Katsuki, covering his chest seeing as he’s laying on his back. He hasn’t woken up once, he’s a heavy sleeper when he wants to be. You reach out a hand to rest it on Katsukis belly, feeling his warm skin. Katsuki unconsciously brings his own hand up to tangle your fingers together. You drift off again, feeling a bit heartbroken. The dreams you have that night are more nightmares than anything.
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You don’t speak to Shouto for almost two days. He tries to talk to you, he really does. He actually keeps his cell phone charged and tries to text you and call you throughout the day. He sends you cat memes and love notes but you ignore them, not in the mood to deal with it right now. The first morning you force yourself to wake up before Shouto does, heading to your hero agency early. You don’t come back till late into the night. Exhausted, bruised and skin overly hot from the use of your quirk, you tumble into your home. You know Shouto knows you’re upset because you’ve been talking to Katsuki. They definitely had a fight about it, probably even a bit of a physical one judging by the new burn marks on the wall of the living room.
You know they must’ve made up when you open your bedroom door to find them naked and entangled in bed, blanket pulled up over their waists. The soft light from the bathroom night light makes them somewhat visible in the dark. You see Shouto resting his head on Katsukis chest, arm thrown over his stomach. Your body flushes hotly and your stomach drops, twisting with hurt. You heart pulses with the negative emotion as you stand there in the doorway.
You love seeing them together but you and Shouto are still caught up in the middle of this argument. You sigh and move into the room, stripping your hero costume off, tossing the dirty clothes in the hamper. You move to your dresser and go ahead and pull on a large T-shirt and clean underwear. As you make your way into the master bathroom, using the night light to guid you, you’ve decided you really can’t be bothered to get in the shower.
Water drips down your arms as you lean over the sink to wash your face. You feel the layer of grime that comes off when you rinse it off, cupping the water from the faucet and let it run over you skin. As you bring up a fluffy towel to pat your skin dry, you look in the mirror, taking in your appearance. You look the same way you feel, as if you’ve been hit by a truck. Bags under your eyes, skin pale, a sad look in your eyes. The past couple weeks have been sitting on your shoulders heavily. You quickly look away and turn around while you brush your teeth. You stare off into space as you lean your hip against the sink, feeling the tiredness dragging you down.
Spitting into the sink you rinse your mouth and use mouthwash, pulling your hair into a bun and flipping off the light switch. You take a few steps towards your bed, but your face scrunches in uneasiness as you get close and you pause right before the side edge. You realize you can’t sleep in here tonight. Swallowing around a lump in your throat, heart beating hard and feeling like you’re going to be sick you quickly turn and walk towards the door to your room. As you reach the doorway your hear a sleep filled voice murmur your name. You freeze, recognizing Shoutos voice. He must have woken up and heard you moving around.
You don’t hear any other movement after that, just the sound of Katsukis soft snores and you think Shouto must’ve fallen back asleep. You make your way to the living room. Your eyes adjust to the dark and you’re able to make your way over to the large, fluffy sectional you have. You lay down on the side where it turns into an L.
Your grab two of the throw blankets from the back of the couch, wanting to be covered completely and you snuggle underneath, resting your head on a squishy pillow. Before you forget you quickly text Katsuki you’re out on the couch and toss your phone close by. Feeling your chest ache, wanting this whole thing to be over, you curl up into a ball, hugging your knees. You desperately just want Shouto to understand where you’re coming from. You’ll talk to him tomorrow, you think, as you close your eyes and feel tears slip out of the sides of your eyes, trailing down your face and forming a little wet spot on the couch near your ear.
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Shouto wakes up the next morning feeling like there’s a gray cloud looming over his head when his alarm goes off. He’s staring at Katsukis side profile, admiring his pretty face. He notices that he and the blonde are both only in their briefs and he remembers the night they had. He smiles briefly, before his memory provides him with the fact that you weren’t there. It makes him feel sad, chest squeezing like a vice as he thinks about the argument he’s been having with you. His lips turn into a frown. To top it off, it doesn’t help that he ended up being the only one out of all three of you that has to work today.
He doesn’t know how it happened. Wait, yes he does, it’s because of his dick of a father. As he contemplates whether or not he really needs this hero job with Endeavor, he realizes something isn’t quite right as he lays in your shared bed. The cool air of the room tickles the back of his neck and the baby hairs there stand straight up. Once he notices that something missing here is you, his pulse immediately stutters and kicks into overdrive.
He flips around in bed, heart jumping into his throat, seeing you’re not there and instantly he’s frantically tumbling out of bed, waking up Katsuki in the process, jostling him around. Shouto trips on the blanket when it gets trapped around his ankle as he tries to stand up. Letting out a yelp, he goes down with a hard thud, shoulder hitting the floor and he groans, rolling onto his back.
“Oi, oi! What the fuck are you doing dumbass?!” Katsuki yells, sitting up straight in the bed, hand already raised, palm sparking dangerously out of habit. His eyes wildly scan the room for the threat until they land on the his sprawled out boyfriend. He lowers his hand and his gaze narrows. He lets out a frustrated growl. Shouto tilts his head and sees Katsuki sitting up, staring down at him over the side of the bed.
His mismatched eyes widen again when he remembers what made him get up so fast in the first place. He sits up, quickly getting to his feet. He all but launches himself at Katsuki, who braces himself for the impact. Shouto grabs the other mans arms, one hand burning Katsukis skin and the other icy. Katsuki feels his lip curl up at the tight grip as he listens to Shouto whisper your name. He shakes Katsuki by his biceps.
“She’s not in the bed! What if she didn’t come home last night? What if she got hurt out on patrol yesterday and we didn’t know?” Shouto says, voice edging on panic, the left side of his face and hair starting to catch fire. Katsuki violently shakes Shoutos grip from him and pushes roughly at his chest, shoving him backwards. It forces him take a step away so Katsuki can raise up from the bed.
The damp palms of his hands make contact with Shoutos bare chest, slapping loudly. Katsuki pushes in close to him, lips pulled up into a sneer and eyebrows furrowed. He looks menacing as he shoves a finger into Shoutos chest. For the first time since their days at UA, Shouto feels a bit afraid of his boyfriend. He’s ignorantly lit a match in his partner and now Katsuki is a raging inferno. Shouto looks down, stunned at the appendage digging into his skin, unable to speak.
“Let’s get something straight here you fucking idiot. Number one, she is here, but she’s sleeping on the couch so you can chill the fuck out. You want to know why? It’s because for the past two goddamn weeks you’ve been blowing us off like we mean nothing to you and I spent the other night holding her while she cried her eyes out about it,” he growls, jaw clenching tightly as he pauses to take his finger off Shoutos chest. He starts to blow around the room furiously, leaving Shouto frozen in place.
Katsuki notices the frost trickling down the other heros arm and huffs agitatedly. The blonde angrily picks up a pair of sweatpants and whips around to stare down Shouto. “Number two, you know this shit has been breaking her heart. So you better fucking fix it, today, or you’re gonna have to face down with me and I swear to god you won’t like that. Fucking put your hair out, you’re gonna burn down the damn house,” he bites, slamming the bathroom door shut fiercely enough Shouto thinks the door frame shakes.
Feeling like Katsuki has kicked him in the back of the knees, knocking his legs out from under him, he sits on the edge of the bed. Sadness and hurt clash together in his chest and it’s all he can do to run his shaky fingers over his short hair, snuffing out the flames. He stares at where the door was slammed shut. He wasn’t even able to say anything, throat feeling like sandpaper when he swallows.
Shouto knew you were upset and he was already determined for the two of you to make up from this fight, but he didn’t know you had cried in Katsukis arms. It made his stomach roll painfully, feeling like he may throw up. Looking at the clock he notices he’s going to be late and he stands on wobbly legs. He gets ready for work silently, trying to push this whirlwind of emotions down until he can get home from work. Shouto pulls on his hero costume and if he wipes stray tears away from his cheeks in the process, nobody else would know.
The second you hear Shouto leave is when you finally open your eyes. You had heard Katsuki shouting at him and you pretended to be asleep in case Sho came out to the living room. Your adrenaline was pumping and you didn’t want to get into a blow out fight with Shouto and make him feel even worse when he has to go out into the street and patrol. He can’t afford to risk his life and be distracted out there. You know in your heart that the two of you have to reconcile today and you’ll do whatever it takes to make things right.
You love the two of them so much and as hurt as you’ve been feeling, you don’t want Shouto to be in pain either. He’s your partner, your lover and one of your soulmates. He makes your days sunnier. Shouto never fails to make you laugh, even when he doesn’t mean to. You love when he asks you about the little things that most people assume are common knowledge. There are some things he never got to enjoy growing up. You will say it until your dying breath, but one of the best parts of your life, has been being able to watch him experience everything he’s missed out on.
You sniffle and throw the blankets off, padding into the bedroom quietly. You flop down in your large memory foam bed, quick to lay in the warm spot Katsukis body left behind. You pull the fluffy blanket up over your shoulder and wait for Katsuki to get out of the shower. You need him to hold you again and let his warm love soothe your aching heart.
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It’s late, but not too late when you hear Shouto come through the door. Love and excitement bursts in your chest knowing he’s home early and on time. You had texted the group chat the three of you share earlier today and told him to be home in time for dinner. All three of you are going to mend this crack that’s been festering in between you and Shouto recently.
Katsuki decided to make his new version of his fried rice recipe again, wanting the three of you to actually share it together this time. Katsuki is busy in the kitchen and it smells amazing in your home. You can see him at the stove when you turn around and you can’t help but glance at him multiple times. You’ve been sitting nervously on your couch, blanket wrapped around you as the two of you waited for Shouto.
You’ve been picking at your nails waiting for him. Once you hear the door unlock you shoot to your feet, blanket falling to the couch. Despite your eagerness you walk slowly around the couch to get in Shoutos pathway. You stop a few feet in front of him as he pauses a couple steps into your home. You wring your fingers together sheepishly, giving him a shy smile and shift your weight from foot to foot.
His pretty mismatched eyes flicker all over your face, as if he’s trying to burn your imagine into his brain. He settles on making eye contact with you and his eyes light up brightly. You feel instant butterflies, much like the first time you saw Shoutos pretty face, all those years ago your first day at UA. He gives you a small smile, which in Shoutos language is a happy grin.
You can’t help it when your lips tug into a smile so wide it makes your cheeks hurt and suddenly he’s walking towards you. He’s bending over to wrap his arms around your waist, hugging you tightly, resting his forehead on your shoulder.
“Baby,” he breathes, wearing his heart on his sleeve. “I’ve missed you little love,” he whispers, kissing your shoulder.
You make a soft sound of joy, snaking your arms around his neck and burying your face into the warm skin there. He lifts you off the ground and you squeak lightly, securing your legs around his hips. The two of you stand there, hugging for a moment. Taking time to soak in each others warmth and presence.
“God, I missed you too Sho,” you say, pressing the words into his skin, hoping they’ll stay there permanently.
You felt like you hadn’t seen him in a month and feeling his heartbeat against your chest, you felt like you could cry. You missed the subtle feeling of his two different body temperatures making your skin tingle.
“You two idiots gonna stand there the whole night or are we finally gonna try this rice I made,” Katsuki complains, hands on his hips but he has a smirk on his lips. His heart feels like it may burst, love overflowing as he watches the two of you interact after what felt like an eternity. You and Shouto both turn your heads to look at him, you giggle softly, letting your legs unwind from Shouto. He sets you gently back down on the floor before he kisses your forehead, lips lingering for a moment. You hum softly and your eyes flutter shut leaning into his chest. Not everything is fixed but even with this unspoken communication you can feel everything will be alright.
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After a long conversation at the dining table and some mouth watering, orgasm inducing fried rice, you find yourself in your bed, between Katsukis wide spread thighs. He’s leaning his back against a couple of pillows propped up on the headboard and your head is resting on his thigh. The soft blonde hair on his leg tickling your face. You’re on your elbows and knees, ass propped up in the air for Shouto. The hand opposite your head trails up Katsukis inner thigh. He shivers in response.
You stare at the blondes hard, thick cock, that’s he currently got a hand wrapped around. He uses one hand to pump his shaft slowly, thumb running over his tip as he threads the other one through your hair. He bites his bottom lip when you look up into his ruby red eyes. You look fucked out, cheeks pink and eyes lidded. It feels like electricity shoots down both your spines when you lock eyes.
You feel both of Shoutos hands grip your ass cheeks and spread them apart from behind. You feel the cool hair against your ass and your nails dig into Katsukis thigh eyes fluttering shut. You choke out a moan when you feel Shoutos slick, warm tongue press against your clit, flicking it gently and dragging it down through your dripping folds. You gasp sharply and raise your head from Katsukis thigh, resting your weight on your elbows in between the blondes thighs. Shoutos started licking at your clit relentlessly, dipping his tongue inside of your hole as he slips two lube covered fingers into your ass. He’s using his left hand, so the fingers are extra warm and it makes your belly fill with bubbling, heated honey. There’s an aching burn as he stretches your rim, spreading your puffy hole. The fingers in your hair tug tightly forcing you to look up into Katsukis intense eyes.
“Fucking hell, look at you, such a pretty puppy. You love when Sho eats your pussy, don’t you? Mm we’re gonna have him fuck you so well, I can’t wait,” Katsuki smirks, tugging your head forward when you jolt towards him. You curse loudly, ass clenching around Shoutos fingers as he sucks harshly on your clit.
“Sho, oh my god,” you groan, mouth dropping open. The craving in you wins out and you let your tongue flick out to lick at the head of Katsukis cock. You run your tongue over his slit, tasting him. The blonde gasps, grinning, looking smug. His hand stilling it’s motion on his dick as he grips the base of his cock. He feels himself throb against his hot palm. You run your tongue up the underside of his shaft, feeling his soft, silky skin, desperately wanting to suck him off.
You get distracted though when Shouto takes it upon himself to hum against your pussy at that moment and you almost scream. You groan, panting and your eyelids flutter but you keep them open, trying to focus on the cock in front of your face. Katsuki notices where you gaze has been occupied and smiles coyly. He taps his cock head against your soft lips a couple times, tip sticky with precum. He moans lowly at the contact and you lick him off your lower lip, savoring his taste.
“Fuck, you’re so hot, you wanna suck on my cock baby?” he coos, voice edging on mean.
“Yes, fuck Kat, wanna feel you in my throat,” you moan loudly, brushing your lips on his dick. The other hero sucks at your slick folds, rolling your clit between his lips and it’s getting hard to focus. Your head feels light and you think you may cum feeling Shouto slip a third slick finger into your ass, thrusting them shallowly. You aren’t sure when he got the lube in the first place, but it feels heavenly letting his fingers create that friction, dragging against your walls. You can’t see behind you but you can hear the slick movement of Shoutos hand pumping his cock as he eats you out and fingers your ass. The image makes your belly tighten and your clit twitch in his mouth.
“What do you think Sho? Should I let her suck my cock while you finish stretching her tight ass?” Katsuki asks cockily, grinning at Shouto over your shoulder. Shouto takes his mouth from your pussy, sitting up straight, making you whine in protest and he giggles, pressing his fingers deeper in your ass in apology. He meets Katsukis gaze excitedly, one corner of his mouth tugging into a small smile. You feel your elbows ache from holding your weight up as you listen for Shoutos answer.
“Oh, well yes, I think I would like to see that,” Shouto says softly, cheeks turning pink from arousal. His lips are shiny from eating your pussy. He hears your groan when he absently spreads his fingers in your ass and he glances down at where your face is hovering near the blondes shaft. He feels his own cock twitch at the thought of seeing your lips stretched around Katsukis pretty dick. Katsuki laughs and smirks down at you, pulling your head forward. You open eagerly as he guides his cock in. You immediately wrap your lips around his tip. You suck harshly, swirling your tongue around it and slide your lips down, taking him halfway into your mouth. You feel a pulse of arousal in your pussy as the weight of his cock sits heavy on your tongue.
“Fuck! You’re Sho and I’s pretty little pup aren’t you? God your mouth feels so good,” Katsuki rumbles, head tilting backwards, letting out a groan from his chest as he helps guide your slick, hot mouth up and down his cock. Fingers tight in your hair, his nails scratching at your scalp. It sends painful tingles down to your neck but you love it. The way your tongue rolls over his shaft as you suck him off makes his free hand clench the sheets, desperately trying not to cum yet.
Shouto is watching with all his attention as he sees the blondes cock vanish repeatedly into your mouth, your lips red and stretched tight. Shoutos been on the receiving end of your wicked mouth and he doesn’t know how Katsuki lasts so long. His stamina is impressive in everything he does. As you suck Katsukis cock, the aching burn of Shoutos fingers turn into a pleasurable one and your clit throbs. You hum around the blondes dick and Katsuki can’t help the long whine that rips from his throat. His hips jerk up and the fingers in your hair tug you down. You scramble to grip his thighs as his cock pushes into your throat.
It feels so good you can’t even think as he keeps you still for a few seconds. You feel spit drip out of your mouth and down his shaft. You don’t gag, but your airway is cut off, effectively suffocating you and you hear Shouto whimper from behind. He slips his fingers free from your ass and your wet pussy clenches from the uncomfortable sensation. Katsuki lets you go after that, fingers falling from your hair. Your lungs burn as you take in a few deep breaths, breasts heaving as your chest expands and deflates rapidly. You look up, neck stiff from being held tightly, to see Katsukis pretty face, flushed bright pink. You’re still holding onto the blondes thighs.
“Baby, please, let me fuck you,” Shouto whines desperately, placing a hand on your belly and pressing you up from between Katsukis thighs onto your knees. His large palm covers a good amount of your stomach and it makes your cheeks flush. You let him reposition you, feeling his warm chest against your back once you’re straight up. Shoutos nose nuzzles the side of your neck. His hands trace up your belly from your hips.
His slender digits tickling your ribs before he grips both your breasts, pinching your nipples between his fingers. He lets the temperatures of both hands intensify and you almost sob, the different sensations giving you goosebumps. Your head falls back on his shoulder, moaning softly as you reach a hand down to rub your clit in small, fast circles. You’re so fucking turned on and you notice how wet you are. You can’t wait any longer, pussy aching for Shoutos cock. Your heart rate picks up erratically.
“Yes Sho, my baby, I need you, I want both of you,” you say breathlessly, lifting your head and looking down into Katsukis sharp eyes, making eye contact with him. His gaze had been glued to where Shouto had a hold of your breasts. Shouto lets go of your tits and grabs your hips again tightly, groan vibrating into your shoulder. You look down to where Katsuki is lazily stroking his cock again. He smirks at you and your face heats up at his gaze. He reaches his free hand out to you.
“Well? Let me stretch that sweet ass of yours and I’ll let Sho get his dick wet inside your pretty pussy,” he purrs, cheeky grin never leaving his face. You feel Shouto rumble against your back once more. You gently take Shoutos fingers from your hips, squeezing them once before letting go. You crawl towards Katsuki, who lets go of his cock and pushes himself up more into a sitting position. He bends his knees and plants his feet, waiting for you. Getting in between his thighs, you bite your lip, smiling sweetly at him. You get into his space and quickly peck his lips once, feeling how soft he is. You love kissing him.
He smiles, a grin that shows his love and its full force is directed at you. Not many people can handle it, it’s a bit like walking on the surface of the sun. You and Shouto would happily burn to ash for him. You’re so grateful for him and how he’s supported you and Shouto the past few days. You feel overwhelmed with love, chest so warm and full of the feeling you may cry. Unable to resist you lean forward and whisper a sweet I love you in his ear. When you look back at him, his cheeks are red and he’s wearing a frown. Giggling, you wink at him, turning around. You settle a knee on the outside of each of his thighs. You find you’re able to brace your hands on the blondes knees when he bends you forward a little, a gentle hand on your lower back.
You bite your bottom lip, watching as Shouto makes his way to the two of you. You notice his face looks content and you’re positive he watched your interaction with Katsuki. He sits on his calves before you, in between Katsukis spread feet. Placing a hand on his cheek, you run a thumb over his scar underneath his eye. You grin at him, whispering how much you love him as well. His face turns red and he says it back gently. You look down and see his pretty cock standing straight up against his belly, precum leaking from the tip and he has his hands on his thighs.
“Ready puppy?” Katsuki whispers hotly, kissing the back of your shoulder. The slow simmer of fire between all of you, turns into a blaze immediately when you hear the blondes words. You nod eagerly, looking into Shoutos eyes.
“Yes Kat, I’m ready,” you whisper, shifting your body forward a bit to expose your ass even more. You hear Katsuki all but purr and the tip of his cock is suddenly running over your slick hole. Your body feels too hot and it’s like your skin doesn’t fit. Katsuki wraps a hand around the base of his cock, keeping it steady and using his free hand to guide you down by your hip until his cock catches on your hole.
Your hands shoot out to brace yourself on Shoutos shoulders, eyes widening and fingers digging into his skin. It’s a slow press at first and you whimper loudly when your rim stretches, fitting to the shape of the blondes dick. Shouto leans his forehead against yours when he sees the wince on your face, eyes squeezing shut in pain as Katsukis cock slips in past your rim and you involuntarily clench around him, gasping loudly. The blonde chokes a bit at the feeling, his cock being wrapped in your impossibly tight heat. Your pussy throbs and your ass aches, but you know the pain will soon fade to an intense pleasure.
“It’s okay little love, I’ve got you, hold my hands okay? You know you can take Kat, you’re doing so good,” Shouto whispers and coos, nuzzling your noses together. You nod, nuzzling him back and yelp as you feel Katsuki slide in even further, slowly bottoming out. You groan, eyes opening wide and Shouto takes your hands from his shoulders. He laces your fingers together and lets you brace your weight on him. You take a deep breath, letting out a shaky exhale before you start to trade slow kisses with Shouto until you’re fully seated in Katsukis lap. Once your ass brushes against his pelvis you break from the kiss and let yourself adjust to the dull throbbing sensation. Katsuki isn’t fairing much better, panting heavily, almost growling in his throat.
“Shit, your ass is so tight, you’re doing so good. I’m gonna move okay my pretty little pup? I wanna get Sho inside of you,” he murmurs in a raspy voice. You finally lean back from letting your forehead rest against Shoutos and you press your ass down into the blondes lap, pushing him in just a bit deeper.
“Yes, yes definitely, I want Sho inside of me too,” you say lovingly, looking straight into Shoutos eyes. His mouth drops open slightly and he squeezes your hands tight. Katsuki knows this is supposed to be a way for the three of you to reconnect, but he knows you and Shouto need to be face to face while you have sex. The two of you need the intimacy and reassurance that the other is there.
He knows you want Shouto slipping into your pussy and squishing you between the two of their chests as they make love to you. With determination in mind Katsuki starts to help you move up and down on his cock, holding your waist. You again brace your weight on Shoutos hands, starting to ride Katsuki to get yourself used to the feeling. Shouto watches your face, not wanting to miss any of your expressions. He kisses your cheeks and whispers sweet nothings to you.
“Please! Please, Kat, I need Sho too,” you choke out after a few moments. Katsuki exhales heavily behind you, biceps flexing as he helps you ride him. He lets out a whimper, pulling you down into his lap, holding you still.
“Sho, baby, let go of her hands for a second okay?” Katsuki tells him softly.
“Yes Kat,” Shouto replies obediently, releasing you. Katsuki is quick to pull you back against his chest, forcing your knees out from under you so your ass is firmly in his lap and your feet are planted on the bed near his. Your eyes widen when you feel the blondes hands slip underneath your knees and pull your thighs up towards your chest. He’s got you in what is basically a full Nelson at this point, minus his hands laced behind your head.
“Katsuki!” you gasp, feeling your wet pussy spread open completely for Shouto and your sure the blonde’s giving the other a good view of where his cock is nestled in your ass. You watch Shoutos cock kick against his belly as he takes in the two of you. You’re positive Katsuki is smirking at him over your shoulder.
“Well Sho? Are you gonna fuck her sweet pussy or are you waiting for an invitation?” he says, voice mocking. Shoutos face heats up and he glares at Katsuki slightly. It only makes him laugh.
“C’mon Sho, please? Show me how sorry you are and make love to me,” you purr, pushing your lower lip out at him. You let your head fall back against Katsukis shoulder and place your fingers on your pussy lips, spreading them open to show Shouto how wet you are. His mismatched eyes stare at your slick folds and his cock aches. He inches forward until he’s right before you.
He wraps a hand around his shaft and his tip accidentally slides through your folds. A whimper slips from his lips at the contact and he feels like he could cum just from feeling your warm, wet pussy like this. He can’t hold back anymore, he lines his dick up with your hole, places his hands on your inner thighs and he watches his dick disappear as he presses himself inside of you.
“Sh-Shouto, oh fuck, you feel so good,” you stutter, feeling split wide open, Shouto stuffing you all the way. He pushes in until hips press against you snuggly. He keeps letting out soft moans as your pussy sucks him in. He can feel Katsukis cock rubbing up against his through your walls and it’s driving him absolutely insane. He feels like a live wire. He’s either gonna melt or cum and he’s honestly worried he may either set the bed on fire or freeze it, his quirk trying to rise to the surface. Shouto remains in control and bites his lower lip, feeling the way he fits in your pussy perfectly snug.
You can feel Katsuki bite down, sharp canines digging into the muscle of your shoulder as Shoutos cock slides in against his. His grip gets even tighter under your knees and you’ve got your arms behind you, wrapped around the blondes neck, fingers threaded through his soft hair to hang on.
“Sho, f-fucking move, I have a limited amount of space. I’m aching, so for the love of God, move,” Katsuki growls against your skin, teeth clenched. He can feel his dick throbbing in your ass. Shouto whines, leaning down to suck one of your nipples into his mouth, biting roughly on your perky bud before letting it go. A yelp escapes your lips and the sharp pain flashes straight to your pussy. It makes you clench around both cocks currently splitting you open.
The two of them groan in surprise. You moan Shoutos name lowly and your back arches trying to get him to move his hips. Shouto braces his hands on the headboard behind Katsuki, gripping the wood, fingernails scratching at it. He pulls his hips out halfway, before swiftly thrusting back in, cock rubbing against Katsukis deliciously. Every inch of you is pulsing. All three of you moan collectively. The sound so sweet when it reaches your ears.
Shouto starts a slow, rough pace, fucking into you lovingly. The slow pace is making you feel every inch his cock drags against your pussy. Your filled with a warm syrupy heat as Shouto brushes his lips against yours. Breath hot against your mouth as he trades kisses with you. He leans down further to do the same with Katsuki. He does so back and forth until his hands start to get sweaty on the headboard and you can feel Katsuki moving his hips upwards the best he can, starting to get closer to the edge.
The way their cocks fill you, dragging slickly against your walls, has you on the verge of cumming in no time at all. Shouto kissing you so sweetly and whispering how much he loves you in your ear doesn’t help. His lips tickle your ear. You balance yourself on the blondes chest by switching your hold from his neck to hanging on to Katsukis forearms and crying out softly for both of them. You feel small, squished between their chests and you’re on another planet, blissed out, smoldering in the intimacy of what the three of you are entangled in.
The knot starts to tighten in your lower abdomen. Every thrust of Shoutos causes the knot to wind up tighter. Katsuki is barely hanging on, moaning repeatedly against your shoulder. His cock is squeezed so tightly in your ass, every slide of Shoutos cock against his makes a pleasurable shiver travel down his spine. He lets go of your knees and wraps his arms around your waist, squeezing you tight. Shoutos hands immediately come off the headboard, pressing on the underside of your thighs to keep you bent in half, nails digging into your flesh.
“Fuck, fuck, my sweet puppy, Sho, I’m gonna fucking cum,” Katsuki says, voice wrecked as he lifts his head from your shoulder to look at Shouto. The two of them lock eyes and Shouto notices that the blondes eyes are half lidded, his cheeks rosy and he nods leaning his weight further on you, squishing Katsuki under you. You feel your back sticking against Katsukis overheated chest, his heart racing. You’re all sweating now, hanging on as Shouto moves his hips quickly now, want to push you both over the edge. The sound of wet skin smacking together rings throughout the room.
“Ah! ah, hah-nnngh! Sho! Just like that, please, oh fuck I’m gonna cum too, please Katsuki,” you wail, begging both of them, the change in angle of Shoutos hips hitting your sweet spot and pushing you up the mountain towards the peak of your orgasm. Katsuki was already about to cum and within the next few thrusts from Shouto, all of a sudden his arms tighten around your waist, his hips jerking upwards. Katsukis balls tighten and he stills. Gasping loudly and letting it out in a low moan as you feel his dick pulse, filling you with his warm release.
“Katsuki you’re so pretty, I love the way you cum,” Shouto whispers, unable to look away from his boyfriends mesmerizing face. Shouto is panting, fucking into you roughly as the blondes red eyes stay locked on his. Katsukis jaw hangs open as his dick twitches a couple more times in your ass, letting the last of his orgasm flow through him, before he deflates, letting his forehead bury into the side of your neck.
“Sho please, I wanna cum, please,” you whine softly, almost tearing up when he looks at you. He leans forward placing his forehead on yours again, trying to get as close as he can, as if he wants to be inside of your skin completely.
“Oh yes, fuck my sweet, let go princess, I wanna feel you cum around my cock,” Shouto says lowly, blunt as always. You nod, letting out a choked sob as you feel one of Katsukis hands leave your waist and slide down to rub quick, small circles into your clit. The slick from your pussy making his fingers slippery as they massage your swollen bud. Your mouth opens into an O shape and you can’t think straight any longer. It’s so hot in the room you know it’s Shoutos fault but it just adds to the intensity. Thank God Katsuki has good control over his quirk.
The blondes fingers circle your clit at the same time Shoutos cock bullies your sweet spot just right and it sends you flying high. The knot in your belly releases and you scream their names as you cum, limbs tingling in warm, syrupy pleasure. They don’t fucking stop, pushing you past the point of oversensitive. Your have no time to recover, eyes widening as you know you have less than 10 seconds before you’re gonna cum again, but this time there’s a threatening pressure on your bladder and you know exactly what it means. You’re squirming in their grip and trying to get Katsukis hand away from your clit by gripping his wrist but it doesn’t work.
“Sho, Kat! Shit! I’m gonna squirt-please!” you cry, trying to move but it’s too late, the others ignore you, knowing you love it. You heart hammers and all of sudden your back’s arching and your legs are shivering under Shoutos grip. You feel the first pulse of your orgasm wash over you and your holes squeeze them both. Katsuki quickly moves his hand from your clit as you squirt hard. The warm liquid splashes on Shoutos lower belly and that fucking pushes him over the finish line.
Watching Katsukis face when he cums, feeling your pussy hug his cock so tightly and your warm release that covers his belly, it’s too much. He fucks all the way into you, hips staying in place as he cums. Sticky, warm ropes of his orgasm fill your pussy. He moans softly and squeezes his eyes shut. You’ve started to come down for your own orgasm and you hear Katsuki breathing heavily. You frame Shoutos face with your hands and pull him closer, kissing him firmly. He moans into your mouth, dick twitching once more and you roll your tongue over his before letting him go. Lips parting with a slick sound. You bite your tongue and smile adoringly at him. Shouto kisses your nose swiftly and you giggle.
“That was fucking hot,” Katsuki rumbles, snorting in amusement. You laugh in agreement and wince, feeling your hips aching from being stuck in this position. Not to mention how sore your ass feels. You place your hands on Shoutos chest, pushing slightly, wanting him to move. You call his name softly and give him a pointed look when you get his attention. His eyes open wider and he smiles softly at you, realizing you probably want out of this pretzel like position.
“Sorry little love,” Shouto teases, letting your thighs down and biting his lower lip as he slips his half hard cock out of your pussy and scoots backwards to sit on his calves. He looks exhausted, but happy. You groan in relief, hips feeling infinitely better as you wiggle on Katsukis lap. You hear the blonde moan, smacking the side of your hip in a warning.
“Oi, you cheeky little pup, get off my lap, my legs are fucking falling asleep,” Katsuki says, teasing you. You laugh and slide off his lap. The sensation always strange as your ass feels empty. You flop down on the mattress next to the blonde. He immediately stretches his legs out, his knees cracking and he makes a content sound. Shouto lounges in front of him, belly and cock glistening from your orgasm and you blush a little bit, feeling embarrassed of making such a mess. Fuck you shouldn’t find that so hot. He just smirks when he catches you looking. You swallow, clearing your throat, quickly standing up from the bed, feeling their releases starting to drip from you. You love having sex with them but the aftermath is disgusting.
“Can we all take a shower please? I feel gross and I want Sho to heat the water like he usually does,” you say, starting to head towards your master bathroom. You pass by Shouto on the way, who’s sitting near the edge of the bed, and you run a hand over his short hair.
“Yes princess,” Shouto replies happily, hopping off the bed. Katsuki snorts but also makes his way to his feet.
“You’ve just got us both wrapped around your finger don’t you?” Katsuki smirks. You laugh, knowing it’s completely true. As you continue your path you feel a tug in your chest, feeling like you physically needed to say you’re sorry again. Even if you did spend over an hour hashing it out over Katsukis fried rice earlier. You stop in front of the bathroom door and turn around to meet their gazes. Your boyfriends pause, Katsuki raises his eyebrow questioningly. You grab each boys hand, lacing your fingers with theirs and look up at them. You focus on Shouto first.
“Sho, I just want to say again I really am sorry we got into this fight, instead of just talking it out in the first place.” Squeezing Shoutos fingers you turn your head, looking over at Katsuki. “Katsuki I’m sorry for dragging you into the middle and thank you for being our rock during this. I love you both more than anything and I’m so happy everything’s okay again,” you say shyly, glancing at both of them. Your cheeks turn red as you see they both are wearing a grin that could melt ice.
“Of course baby, you know we love you too.” Katsuki smirks, squeezing your hand.
“I’m saying sorry again too, I was a dick. I promise I’ll communicate better with the two of you,” Shouto says, tugging you forward into a hug and Katsuki huddles in close. You’re squeezed between two sweaty, sticky chests and you squeal, returning the embrace briefly before breaking free.
“Okay okay! Let’s go shower, you’re both nasty,” you giggle turning to run into the bathroom and Katsuki smacks your ass. He smacks Shoutos ass for good measure. You laugh when you look over your shoulder and you see Shouto frowning at the blonde whining about how that hurt. The two end up following you into the shower, all of you able to fit comfortably in the large area. As you let Shouto wash your hair, scratching your scalp soothingly and you watch Katsuki close his eyes when he lets his hair get soaked under the shower head you can’t help but smile. They’re your boys and you’ll never let anything tear you apart, especially not a damn uncharged cellphone.
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aureum-cordis · 26 days
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Lost & Found, Part 5
A/N: Midterms rolled around and took me out of the fringe for a bit, but I’m back! It’s amazing how much attention Lost & Found has received, thank you all so much! I really do appreciate the follows, likes, and reblogs! I do have a CatNap story and a story with Kissy Missy and Poppy in the works too! If you’re interested in being added to my taglist for Lost & Found or any other potential stories I plan on writing, feel free to let me know! Check out the other parts here: Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4
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It wasn’t very long until the other Smiling Critters had followed your lead and fell asleep, the leader being the only one to remain awake. He was relaxed, feeling the warmth from the others as they leaned against him and listened to the soft snores that left you as you slept. He couldn’t remember a time when he had seen the bear or the unicorn as tranquil as they were in this moment.
Despite the positivity in the room they sought refuge in, there was danger lurking within the building. DogDay had studied the routes that CatNap patrolled, his rounds being mostly consistent to the point that he was able to notice a pattern and decide where they would shelter accordingly. His sense of time may have been poor, but his sense of smell was what he relied on in moments like this. They had time, not forever, but enough for the others to get some rest.
His gaze fell down to your small body, still resting in his lap and clinging to his arm like a lifeline. He was careful to not move suddenly to keep from disturbing any of those that laid against him, but a small sigh left him as he looked down at your malnourished form. Food was a scarcity as is in this place, something they had witnessed firsthand.
PickyPiggy had been one of the first to be driven mad by hunger, lashing out at the others in a frenzied state. As horrible as it was, DogDay couldn’t have faulted her for it. It was out of her control, the hunger was something vile and demented that warped any rational thoughts, instincts of neither that of a human nor an animal took over in those moments.
He closed his eyes in an instant, trying to rid himself of those memories and the bloodied outcome that followed. When he opened them, he looked down at you, forcing his mind to return to what he had originally been thinking of before his thoughts took a dark path of their own. It was a miracle you hadn’t starved or expired from a lack of water, something that DogDay was greatly concerned by.
You shouldn’t be alive, not for as long as you must’ve been in the building. But you were, something that he couldn't understand but he refused to question it, he knew better than that. He would accept what was given to him without hesitation, when it meant that what he was being given was you.
This decrepit orphanage was never a home, not for you or any of the children. Those that ran it treated the youth as nothing more than lab rats, willing to run more than a few tests on something other than themselves. The thought alone was enough to cause his hackles to raise of their own accord, a growl threatening to leave his perpetually smiling mouth with enough hostility to make anything with sense cower.
Yet, he stopped himself before a sound even escaped him, noticing the way CraftyCorn shifted slightly as they rested against him in her unconscious state. It was grounding, even if unintentional, and assisted in causing his anger to lessen.
Instead, he turned his gaze to you as he listened to your ragged breathing. His softening gaze traced your small form, finally noticing the bruises that you had upon your arms and legs. Some were near the point of fading as shown by their green and brown coloration, while others were a glaring hue of purple.
There was no telling what you had been forced to endure at the hands of men and women that viewed you as nothing more than a test subject. Some part of him was grateful that you weren’t like them, an abomination or organic and inorganic matter strewn together like a poorly made automaton. He hated what they had all become, but not who they were. That was a thought that never crossed his mind.
As surprising as it was, he didn’t even hate CatNap. Not really, not when he knew that he was just a child following the guidance of what he deemed as a friend. He was misguided and demanded others to follow The Prototype as if his word was law, dispatching those that dared to oppose his deity. DogDay wished that this had never happened to any of them, but sorrow and hypothetical situations were pointless now.
The orange dog was optimistic but he also knew that he needed to be realistic. This wasn’t some cartoon that would have a happy ending, where friendship prevailed. This was a dark and demented tale that would end poorly for one, if not all of those involved in it.
A small sigh left him at the negative swarm of thoughts that plagued him like pests as he remained awake, feeling Bobby BearHug nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck as she slept. He was still for several moments afterward, not wanting to risk waking her. Her breathing settled back down into a slow and steady rhythm, which he was relieved to hear.
In moments like this, he was grateful for the company he had. Even though only three, four in reality, of the Smiling Critters remained and you had joined the bunch, he was still thankful. There hadn’t been time to properly mourn any of those that they had lost, not when they constantly needed to remain on the move and the threat of running into CatNap was high.
There was no true soil to bury any bodies, everything in the Playcare was synthetic to some extent. Aside from the buildings, those were made of true materials. The lights were artificial, even the span of day and night was a projection or perhaps a rotating dome. He didn’t know, he hadn’t ever asked to find out and he doubted that he would get a true answer if he had.
There were plenty of workers that were once in the same situation that they now found themselves in. Trapped, unable to break free from this hellish place of bright colors that hid the horror of what happened underground. Truthfully, he understood CatNap’s desire to latch onto a savior and obey their every word, hoping to be led out from this bleak wasteland of shattered dreams and broken souls. It was a childlike hope, but it was one he understood.
They had nearly lost that hope themselves. As their numbers dwindled, Smiling Critters picked off as if they were nothing more than prey animals, he saw the change in those that remained. Especially because he was unable to do anything about it. He couldn’t bring those back that they’d lost nor could he shake the sound of their screams.
DogDay felt powerless in this situation, even if he tried his best to keep from showing that to the others. He was meant to be the leader, but he felt as if he were restrained. As if the only thing he could do was peer out through the metaphorical bars that stood for his guilt and shame. It felt as though something was tearing him apart from the inside every time he dared to think of the others.
But then, he found you. And that had changed everything. You brought back a side of him that he had all but thought he’d lost. Even with as small as you were, you managed to instill hope in CraftyCorn and Bobby BearHug. He could see it in the way they came alive as soon as you entered the room.
It was obvious even now, as you rested in the center of the trio of remaining Smiling Critters. Even as you slept alongside the other two, it was a clear sign that you would be protected. DogDay would make sure of that and he was more than sure that the unicorn and bear at his side would as well.
You were more than just a child that they had taken in. You stood for far more than that, something you would never be able to comprehend at such a young age. The dog knew that you had never had a true family before, it was obvious. Normal children didn’t have scars along their arms from injections nor were they as pale as you were from living under artificial lights for the short amount of time you’d been alive.
They were certainly no replacement for true parents, as unorthodox as they were. But you would be loved, they would provide that along with as much stability as they could. The leader of the Smiling Critters already felt as much and he was almost certain that the feeling was shared amongst those that remained.
He knew that they needed to be wary of how long they stayed in one place. But it wasn’t a dire need to move at this moment in time, CatNap’s patrols were like clockwork and they all knew that it would be a short while before he made his rounds to this wing of the building. DogDay looked down at you one final time as your grip tightened on his arm, before he rested his head against the red bear’s and allowed his eyes to close if for only a few moments.
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Taglist: @star-the-rabid-dog @urminebutidontwantyou
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bonny-kookoo · 5 months
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Jungkook
𝐄𝐱𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐞. | TEASER
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There's magic in everything.
Tags/Warnings: Royal Warlock!Jungkook, Maid!Cat Hybrid!Reader, Magic!AU, realistic Fantasy, sci-fi, Strangers to lovers, Fluff, Romance, Angst, mentions of war, Injury, Violence and blood, Smut
Length: ???
There is no taglist for this fic. This is a Patreon-Exclusive.
A/N: due to fantasy stories never doing very well here on tumblr, Exhale will be posted on Patreon only. I've also lost my job, so currently, Patreon is one of the only ways to make money right now. Please understand that I'm gonna advertise it more often due to that. Thank you for your understanding.
⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅
"You'll feel at home soon, Sir Jungkook." You say as you place the plate of his food in front of him, his dark eyes looking up at you.
They don't scare you. Neither does the fact that he draws his powers from.. well, not the light. He's shown by now that he still has a kind heart, even if it's a bit hidden and cluttered with other things he deems more important. "I do not need to feel welcome here." He denies, starts to eat quietly, averting his gaze from you.
"Sure, you do not." You respond, turning around to wash the other's dishes in the sink. Jungkook's eyes raise at that, focusing on the way your tail sways from side to side softly.
Your dress looks a lot more.. tailored to you, than he's used to see on maids. In fact, everyone appears to be dressed in clean, and well made clothes that still fit their status and job- but don't appear to be simply given from one to the next. Kim Seokjin knows every staff's name in fact, and does not seem to really draw a line in who he speaks to and who he does not.
Odd.
"But doesn't it feel better?" You ask, singing to yourself as you wash the plates.
Jungkook doesn't respond, simply thinks. He doesn't have to feel at home here. Once King Seokjin doesn't have any use for him any longer, he will be sent out once more. The less connections he makes here, the less he will be driven away from his path. He doesn't need friends, or a home.
He's learned that many times in his life. It'll only hurt.
"How long have you been working here?" Jungkook asks as he rips off a piece of bread to eat. You dry your hands, and sit at the table with him, stretching out your legs beneath if for a moment.
"Hm.. I was living here since Jin-.. King Seokjin was still a prince, Sir." You answer. "I was born in the nearby forest village. My mother became a maid when I was old enough to attend school." You remember.
"Explains your lack of respect for him in your tone." Jungkook says, not looking at you. You stiffen, ears pinning backwards.
"Ah- but I do have respect!" You almost whine. "It's just.. his crowning was years ago, I know. But.. on occasion, I forget the boundaries set by society." You sigh, leaning your chin on your hand. "Any other kingdom would've already had me beheaded." You giggle to yourself.
"Or at least exiled." He mumbles, biting another piece of bread.
It's good that you seem to be aware of the luxury you're experiencing inside this castle. As a mere hybrid maid, you're not much more in status than a dog- and yet, for some odd reasoning, the King himself treats you as much more, just like the other staff. The way he'd spoken to Jungkook, with such familiarity almost, had shown just how soft the King really is. He truly is in need of protection. God knows he probably has not fought a single time in his life.
Just as his food is finished, Jungkook notices your other hand that's not supporting your head. There's something on your palm he's not sure of, but the skin is clearly irritated. He motions for you to turn it over, and you do- scratches having reopened from washing the dishes earlier.
Either you're very dumb, or just very devoted to your purpose in this castle.
He's slow with his movements to give you a way to deny him- but you do not, instead even leaning forward a bit in curiosity to see what he's going to do, as he covers your hand in his own, silver rings bulky on his fingers. There's no glow, or anything really- not much is happening at all, apart from the tingling feeling underneath your skin, stinging from the cuts slowly ebbing away like it's dipped in cold water.
And when he removes his hands, your palm is covered in what looks like black soot almost.. but once you brush that off, the skin is healed- no scars remaining.
"Oh! There you guys are." Yoongi offers, walking closer into the kitchen, a hand on your shoulder as he stands behind you. "The king requests you, Jungkook. " He tells the warlock, who still feels oddly irritated by the man's lack of proper wording regarding him. "And you should clean up. It's late." He says much softer to you, and you nod.
"Look! sir Jungkook healed me!" You hold out your hand, and Yoongi clearly grows irritated, frustration clear on his face.
This is what Jungkook is used to. The anger, distaste, disgust even regarding his practices- this is what's comforting to him. He can work with that, knows that people like this man will not get unnecessarily attached to him and cause problems. He likes that-
"Yah, where'd you even get hurt again?!" Yoongi scolds you instead, however. "Be glad Jin didn't see, or he'd make you report to him daily again.. show me. Is it really healed.?" He mumbles, inspecting your hand, before he shakes his head at you, ears pinned back. "Thank you. She sometimes has the coordination of a dragon hatchling." He says towards Jungkook, and he's caught entirely off guard, eyes wide open and face clearly showing his surprise.
And you just laugh at that, happily so, before you tell him goodnight with a playful bow, running off after teasingly thanking Yoongi for washing Jungkook's dishes.
Which, yet again irritatingly enough, Yoongi indeed does do for you.
This castle is weird.
But fitting for its king, he thinks.
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flowercrowngods · 1 year
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✨🤍 some steddie softness for @thefreakandthehair's birthday, i hope it's the very best so far! 🤍✨(please please your day comes first, read this whenever you have time and space to breathe 🤍)
Eddie is not a religious man — far from it, actually. But there are a few things that make him believe in higher powers. In angels. In destiny and luck and a love so strong it could conquer everything. 
This very moment is one of them. 
Stevie, soft and sleepy beside him in the back of the car as Nancy is driving, the dim light of the passing street lamps painting his face in hues of gold like the light itself favours Steve Harrington, caressing his features with the softest of shadows. 
He’s beautiful. Ethereal. Perfectly angelic with his eyes closed, his whole body turned towards Eddie in the warmth of the car.
It takes Eddie’s breath away, his heart taking up space where before there were his lungs and ribcage, growing in size until he feels like he is about to burst. And even then he keeps looking, staring at that pretty face that looks so at peace with the whole world right now. Eddie has never seen Steve like this, but now he understands why people start wars. Why people defy gods and death itself to be with their one true love. Why Orpheus looked back. 
He understands. Because Steve, his Stevie, warm and safe and perfectly fine in the backseat of a car? That is everything. He doesn’t even need to kiss or touch so long as he just gets to look. And be. Oh, to be at the same time that Steve is. 
That might just be life’s greatest gift to him. 
A tiny sigh falls from Steve’s lips and Eddie really, really might be about to burst. 
“Hey, angel,” he whispers, because moments like this aren’t made for anything but hushed words, their truths too heavy, too sincere for the world to hear and keep on spinning. He doesn’t need the world to spin as long as there is Steve. 
“Hi,” Steve whispers back, his eyes still closed but the smile lighting up, luring Eddie in like he is but a moth drawn to the flame. 
Eddie leans in and rests his forehead against Steve’s, his hand coming up to cradle a light-kissed cheek. Steve leans into it, following Eddie’s hand like maybe they are twin stars pulling each other closer until there will be an explosion of light and creation. Steve nuzzles against his palm and leans further into Eddie’s body until they share the same breath — but still it’s not enough. 
Eddie wants to say so many things now that their hands are entangled, their soft exhales mixing. But after a while he notices that Steve is humming before gently singing along to the song coming quietly from the speakers. 
“Take it easy with me, please. Touch me gently like a summer evening breeze. Take your time, make it slow. Andante, Andante. Just let the feeling grow.”
Eddie knows the song, recognises it instantly, and his breath gets stuck in his throat once more. Because he has a secret. He loves it. He has imagined for the longest time that one day, someone would make it his song. Sing it for him, to him. 
He’s never told anyone because he has a reputation to uphold and more than enough metal music to listen to, but of course Steve wouldn’t care about his secrets being secret, and just oh so casually make his deepest, most private of dreams come true. 
He’s an angel, that one. A hero. Myths and fairy tales should be woven around that heart of his, folklore speaking of his name until history itself wouldn’t dare to forget. No one can convince Eddie otherwise. Not in that moment, not with Steve singing so quietly, so gently, so adoringly. 
I think I love you. I think I can’t ever stop, not when I’ve seen you like this. Not when you’ve just shown me what life can be about, what it should be about. Gods, I love you and love you and love you. 
That’s what he wants to say. 
But all that comes out is a marvelled, “Shit, Stevie.”
It has the desired effect of a huffed breath, an even wider smile, and Steve cuddling further into Eddie’s side, eyes still closed. Eddie brushes a kiss to Steve’s forehead and feels like maybe his love can make it into the fairy tale, too. 
It will. Oh, it will, when Steve finally lifts his head from Eddie’s shoulder and looks at him through hooded eyes, all soft and sleepy and safe. A moment passes like this and Eddie can’t breathe, maybe he can never breathe again — but it only lasts until Steve slowly, so very slowly begins to lean in to claim Eddie’s lips with a kiss so gentle it could bring him back from the dead. 
Eddie kisses Steve back just as slowly, because in moments like this there is no rush, no hurry. There’s only them, there’s only this. Only a kiss until there is another. 
And with Steve, there is always another. 
Nancy smiles as she is taking the long way to Steve’s house, rounding Loch Nora twice because she knows how comfy Steve gets in cars at night when he doesn’t have to drive and there is soft music playing. 
Eddie kisses her goodbye on the forehead, fully aware of what she’s done. He doesn't tell her about the sun and the myths and all the wars he would start for Steve.
Nights like this are not meant for telling anyone about them. They can hardly be believed as it is. They can only be lived, hand in loving hand.
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hello-nichya-here · 6 months
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Yes, Buffy loved Spike
The way people act like that was in anyway left up to discussion by the show is legit hilarious/infuriating.
James Marsters (Spike) has said in an interview that, when Joss Whedon let him know that Spike was gonna fall in love with Buffy in season five, he had assumed it would one-sided - only for Whedon to correct him with a "Oh no, she's gonna fall in love with you too."
And the show wasn't shy about it either. Through seasons six and seven, we are shown Buffy repeatedly denying that she loves Spike - and then immediatelly contradicting herself either through actions or her own words (and even in season five she had already kissed him once after he did not give away her sister's identiy to Glory even after being tortured).
After Buffy comes back from the dead - from heaven - and is dragged to the literal hellmouth, having to crawl out of her grave, she sees the Buffy-bot being torn from limb by a bunch of demons. Naturally, this fucks with her head a bit. She manages to save her friends, but she is still very shaken, and looking like she's not really fully back to her senses as her sister is speaking to her. It really does look like something is very wrong and that she is not at all the same girl we once knew.
Then she hears Spike's voice and goes to see him. Only when she sees HIM, when HE starts trying to talk to her, when HE is the one taking care of her, does she start to properly respond. And, of course, out of all the people there - all of whom are worried about her and that she supposedly trusts way more than she trusts this "fully evil" vampire - Spike is the one to whom she reveals what actually happened to her.
During the musical episode, we see her sing "I touch the fire and it freezes me, I look into it and it's black. Why can't I feel? My skin should crack and peal - I want the fire back" confirming to us that her depression after being taken from heaven was not just a temporary consequence of the shock of it all, and has left her completely disconnected from the people she loved, and from life itself, and that she does not know if it can ever be fixed.
But at the end of the episode, after Spike stops her from basically commiting suicide (because remember, he stopped BUFFY. not the bad guy) she sings to Spike "This isn't real, but I just wanna feel" right before they kiss. And Spike's own song says "I died so many years ago. You can make me feel like it isn't so."
It is very clear that what convinced Buffy to keep on living wasn't just because Spike loved her - she already knew that, and she also her friends and this has not done anything to make her less depressed. What makes her not give up is realizing that SHE can still connect to others, SHE still can have feelings for someone. Only it is with her former mortal enemy instead of her friends and family (she had even said in an earlier episode that he was the only person she could stand to be around) and the kiss makes it obvious that this new bond she has with Spike is NOT platonic.
And the following episode when she tries to pretend it means nothing? It has her acting all flirty with Spike while they're both dealing with the amnesia spell, and once their memories return the episode ends with her kissing him AGAIN.
And during ALL of the episodes she's claming she is totally disgusted by him? She's having sex with him all the time. And when Tara finds out about it, Buffy does admit she's using him, but she refuses to give an answer when Tara asks "Do you love him?"
When Spike brings a date to Xander's wedding , Buffy KNOWS is just to get her jealous and Spike even admits to it - and she admits that, even knowing all of that, it DOES bother her. She is unbelievably distraught after finding out he slept with Anya, and even says to his face "I have feelings for you, I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for that" showing us that the thing stopping Buffy from truly giving Spike a chance is, understandably, the "You're a literal souless creature that needs to feed on people to survive" factor, not because their connection is not genuine or strong enough, or because of her past with Angel.
Not to mention, it makes perfect sense that, during the season she was clearly suicidal, she falls in love with the character that is representing the possibility of her death - their first time even happens after Spike reveals that, for some reason, the chip no longer causes him pain when he attacks her, and thus he actually poses a threat to her again.
Unhealthy? Absolutely. Scary? Fuck yes. Does she get over her "feelings that are totally not love" in the season finale, when she's crawling "out of her grave" again, this time triumphantly, in the sunlight, all brave and finally letting go of her self loathing? NOPE!
In season seven, when she's finally about to go out with a man that is not and has never been evil, her friends are all obviously wondering if this is a sign that she is over Spike - of if she's just pretending to. Buffy's response? THE biggest Freudian Slip she's ever had in the series.
"Why does everyone in this house think that I'm still in love with Spike?"
STILL!
Still. In. Love.
Not "Why is everyone convinced that I fell in love with Spike? I told you guys I liked him, but didn't love him" but "Why do you guys think I'm not over those totally vague, definitively not deep 'feelings' I had and that were 100% not just a code for 'Yes, I am in love with him, but I'm scared it will blow up in my face'?"
And how does that date with that Not Evil guy, that was revealed to be the son of Slayer, go? Pretty well! It looks like this romance might actually have a chance of going somewhere.
At least until she goes "Look, I know Spike killed your mom when he was souless and all, but if you try to go after him to get revenge again, he will murder you, and I will let him." She also turns her back on her watcher, and father figure, when she finds out he was in on the plan to kill this vampire that is Totally-Not-Her-Boyfriend.
The episode even has Giles directly compare her codependent bond with Spike to what she had with Angel - which again, included her letting Angelus get away and kill people. Sure, Spike has a soul now, he let the dude live to tell the tale since killing his mom WAS an awful thing to do, and if he was attacked again and killed him it would be self-defense - but it's impossible not to notice the very clear "Buffy is protecting her man" tone of it all.
Not to mention, before that, Spike offers to leave Sunnydale since Buffy's potential new boyfriend clearly can help her find demons and thus she no longer needs him around - and she full on says that SHE IS NOT READY FOR HIM NOT TO BE THERE.
Then, of course, there's "Touched." The episode in which EVERYONE is going "We might die tomorrow, lets fuck to cope", and not only is Buffy clearly touched (Get it? Get it?) by Spike's speech about how much he loves her, she asks him to get in bed with her and hold her. And even though they are not having sex, the scenes of them cuddling are being framed as being just as intimate and romantic as the scenes of everyone else making love to their partners. Again, we had Giles full on state the obvious to Buffy: she and Spike might not be sleeping together anymore, but they are VERY clearly acting like they're still in a relationship, even if both are now hesitant to give it a try after literally everything went wrong for them.
The following day, Spike says that it was the happiest night of his life, and when he starts saying that he knows it obviously didn't mean as much for Buffy as it did to him, she corrects him and says it absolutely did. Spike even goes as far as trying to confirm it AGAIN by asking "Were you there with me?" to which Buffy says "I was", which is HUGE considering she had just admited to him the previous night that she had always cut herself off from everyone - Spike VERY much included - due to being the slayer.
"Oh, but what about the Bangel kiss in the finale?"
The one Joss Whedon explicitly refered to as "the show's way of servicing the Bangel fans" aka FANSERVICE? The one that came right out of nowhere as the signature of Bangel's "romantic chemistry" is angsty pining? The one that didn't hold a candle to one of the few Bangel scenes I say absolutely worked, aka the kiss after Angel comes back to Sunnydale to help Buffy deal with her grief over her mother and that only happened after they had spend HOURS together because, surprise surprise, it doesn't matter if they still have feelings for each other, they have NEVER had this dynamic of exes that just casually make out with each other the second they are in the same room together?
The one that happens right before Buffy says "Sorry, you won't be the vampire champion that will save the world, I'm chosing Spike for that role"? The one that is followed by an obviously jealous Angel making it very clear to Buffy that he is bitter she's "brushing him off for captain peroxide"? And then she asks if he'll react that way everytime she gets a BOYFRIEND?
When Angel points out that, again, she just let slip how she actually feels about Spike, Buffy has to deny it because Joss Whedon thought the ONLY way to make sure viewers didn't miss that Buffy is totally an independent woman that don't need no man was to tease both the possibility of a Bangel AND a Spuffy endgame just to go "Sorry, Buffy is gonna choose to be single."
HOWEVER, even the way she does that has changed significantly, as she says "He is not my boyfriend, but he is in my heart." Notice how, unlike all the previous times, Buffy is not trying to diminish what she has with Spike.
She went from "I slept with Spike/said I feelings for him BUT this totally means nothing and I could NEVER love him because he doesn't have a soul like Angel did" to "Look, Angel, I swear that Spike is totally not my boyfriend BUT I will treat him like he is because I absolutely do have feelings for him. Could you pretty, pretty please go back to L.A. now that the fanservice moment is over? I'll even end it with a 'sometimes I totally think of what could happen between us someday' so we can pretend our romance has not been officially pronounced 'impossible to ever be endgame' since season three of my show and season one of your show?"
And where does she immediatelly go to after this? To see Spike. Because she wants another night of cuddling with him. Then The First shows up in the middle of the night to torment her, he explicitly refers to Spike as Buffy's vampire LOVER.
Finally, the final battle is happening, and Spike is about to die saving the world, and Buffy, with tears in her eyes finally says that she loves him. Whedon had even said to Sarah "Be proud of him. Love him when saying it." We even see literal flames as they are holding hands - an obvious nod to the musical, with the "I want the fire (feeling) back", and Whedon basically confirmed it by saying it was a very deliberate choice to symbolize the feelings the characters have for each other. It is the visual representation of Buffy FINALLY accepting that she truly does love Spike.
"Oh, but he responds 'No, you don't, but thanks for saying it' implying Buffy was only trying to make sure he would die happy!"
Did you guys forget EVERYTHING ELSE I just mentioned in this post? Or the fact, at that point, Spike is still processing the guilt of all the monstruous things he did as a vampire now that he has a soul again? Did you forget him literally asking Buffy to kill him for what he did and telling her that the soul did not suddenly make him good - only for HER to be the one to say he fought back against the monster inside of him and that she believes in him?
Again, James Marsters gave us his insight on what he felt Spike meant by that line and how he played it: Spike was saying that Buffy COULDN'T love him. Not yet. Because he didn't feel he deserved it yet. It was not the right time for them. Yet.
"Oh, but in the late seasons of Angel, when Spike is brought back to life, he is told that Buffy never truly loved him!" Yeah, he is told that - BY ANGEL! In what world would he, Buffy's ex that has had problems with Spike since long before Buffy was even born and that had already admited that having her pick Spike over him "did not bring out the champion in him", not be extremely biased?
"But you're forgetting the Buffy comics in which she is basically told Angel is her soulmate and sleeps with him during some magical fuckery that made her go mad with power!"
Yeah, and in those same comics, even though it took forever and Whedon just HAS to force the "Buffy ends the story chosing to be single because she can either be a strong female character OR be in a happy relationship" AGAIN, she and Spike became a couple after all of that, with her explicitly telling him WHAT SHE HAD WITH ANGEL IS IN THE PAST, and the ending even suggests is only a matter of time before she and Spike get back together again, this time for good.
Claiming that it was up for debate if Buffy ever truly loved Spike is as ridiculous as if I said "I know we are both shown and told many times that Angel and Buffy slept together in season two, but I actually think it's up for the debate if they truly did" NO, IT ISN'T!
We are shown how Buffy's feelings for Spike grow over time, how her dynamic with him changes, how she is actively choosing him over everybody else after he gets his soul, and both the character and the people involved in making the show EXPLICITLY SAY she loves him.
You can dislike it, but don't expect everyone else to cover their ears and close their eyes to pretend it wasn't clear that Spike's love for Buffy has not been one-sided for a VERY long time.
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mrsrookhunt · 11 months
Note
Hello! I saw your request was open and I wasn’t sure what to really think of
So maybe a general or simple nsfw hc of Yandere Chuuya?
My first ask! Of course! ❤ I added more characters for the sake of making a well-rounded post, but I gave chuuya a bonus scenario :) Enjoy!
Yan!Bsd Men in Bed
NSFW!!
(Short post, feel free to request more characters)
Pairings: Chuuya Nakahara, H.P. Lovecraft, Mushitaro Oguri, Jouno Saigiku
Chuuya Nakahara
Warnings: punishment, manipulation, yandere, kinks mention, violence mentioned/implied
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Chuuya is nice in bed, mostly.
He's powerful, and not afraid to be the dominant one, but he is still very respectful of your boundaries. He feels very guilty for the way he's treated you, so protectively, in his eyes. But you've grown tired of it, and he knows; so, as not to anger you further, he tries to make you as in control as possible.
Chuuya will do whatever you'd like, so long as he still gets to be the one in charge. He'll indulge your kinks or let you explore with him, permitting it doesn't cross his own boundaries (but considering the fact that you're willing to be intimate with him at all, he isn't too picky).
Definitely into degradation and BDSM, but he's fine if you're uncomfortable with that. Only occasionally will he ask you to do something that steps outside of your comfort zone, and it's usually for special occasions, like his birthday or holidays. I feel like mirror sex would be a special anniversary treat with him.
He's only rough with you if you ask or more like plead, or if you need punishment .
Chuuya doesn't take sexual punishment (or any punishment) lightly, but if you've pushed him far enough.... He may torture you in very unexpected ways.
You think, for a moment, that you're in trouble. You fucked up, you fucked up so bad. Chuuya slammed the front door behind you, with a blatant fury that made you jump.
"Please, Chuuie, I'm sorry-- don't- don't do anything rash now-"
"Don't tell me what the FUCK to do in my own home."
He cornered you into the kitchen, snatching your arm and bending you over the center counter.
"Tell me how sorry you are.' His voice was soft, quiet. Testing.
"I'm sorry--I'm- really s-sorry" You choked out from between sobs. You had never seen it coming, the violence, the anger, the sheer reaction, to your misdeed.
The cold granite countertops cut into your stomach with the chill and pressure. You squeezed your eyes shut as he reached for his back pocket, the one with his knife.
You gasped when a small, shockingly fast-paced vibrator was placed on your thigh. Out of all the things you thought he could and would do to you, this was not one.
He put his hand on your other thigh, making you involuntarily moan.
"I'm going to show you the true meaning of punishment tonight."
H.P. Lovecraft
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Lovecraft essentially has no idea what he's doing in bed; he understands the concept in theory, but he really still feels lost. His sense of clinginess and protectiveness doesnt carry over into the bedroom, and is lost on everyone but you, so you're the only one who can guide him in this matter.
He gives you the most doe-eyed look if you ask if he ever considered sexual punishments. He doesn't really understand why sex is used for pleasure or pain; he finds procreation to be the only benefit to him.
Overall, getting him into bed with you is the biggest challenge, but once you've got him there, you can change his life; and you certainly will.
He's not a man to make much noise or fuss, but he's absolutely blissed out, and wonders how he has not understood this aspect of life before.
By the time you're done, he's more attached to you than ever, curling you into his arms and refusing to let go. You've shown him just one more reason to love you as much as he does, and keep you from showing anyone else the same kindness.
Mushitaro Oguri
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Mushitaro finds sex in general an indecent act for most anything. That isn't to say he doesn't have urges like everyone else, but for the sake of his meticulous regimen, he will squish them down until he absolutely cannot control himself anymore.
You're both the source of his frustrations and the perfect release. Mushitaro is completely in control in bed, just like he is in every aspect of your life together.
Mushitaro can be kinkier than most men; casual choking, roleplay, and some hardcore BDSM can be in the cards for you depending on how far he's gone to deny himself previously.
That being said, your needs also often don't get met. You don't like to ignore yourself the way he does, but he forces you to. You're not allowed any toys, he has SafeSearch on for google, and you are routinely scolded on the indecency of self-pleasure, regardless of whether he's caught you or not.
Mushitaro's demanding and high maitenence personality makes him one of the worst in the sexual part of your relationship.
He rarely considers sexual punishment, unless the circumstances are juussst right. I.e, if you've been caught touching yourself in any way, shape or form, and Mushitaro's already been hot around the collar, he may be rougher and more cruel in bed than normal just to teach you a lesson.
Jouno Saigiku
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Joun-bug's high sex drive makes him a worthwhile adversary in the bedroom. Much like Chuuya, he wants to be in control; but more than wanting to, he will be in control.
He'll push you to the brink of absolute pleasure and then throw you down and tell you how worthless you are until you beg and plead and go through whatever torture he has planned to get him to finish you off.
Jouno is always going to be... well, Jouno. He'll sadistically torture you in every way he can possibly exploit in bed for his own pleasure, and he doesn't give a damn whether you're comfortable with it or not. Remember, his composure and sweet smile is a farce he hides behind; and he'll show you his true self when he feels it's appropriate and necessary.
Maybe he'll be gentle with you, if you've been put through enough and he feels you deserve it. He does love you, but his desires take priority. If you've gone through whatever he had planned for his own pleasure, he may indulge in yours.
Sexual punishment is the worst with him; he takes absolutely no mercy on you, and punishes you often, for the smallest of things.
742 notes · View notes
saintslewis · 4 months
Text
❝ 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐌𝐘 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋 ❞
𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 - 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒
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pairing: sir lewis hamilton x fem!oc
summary: truly, nothing can break Nadia’s soul.
warnings: cussing, outfit descriptions, slight angst, typos, it’s a long one 😭 click on the links, i’m watching you 🤨
wc: 6.4k
saint’s team radio 🎀: don’t beat me up y’all! this took more than forever and i am really sorry. hopefully this chapter brings you guys joy 🤭 thank you so much for all the love on renaissance so far! 🥹 i also want y’all to know that Nadia is a thick babe, when she wears shorts or mini skirts/dresses, it’s mini!!! just wanted to remind y’all!!!!
pls like, comment and reblog! 🫶🏽
renaissance: the series masterlist • general masterlist
-
The thin white thread from the duvet cover couldn't be any longer as Nadia continued to pull on it, clicking her nails together in the process. Her buzzing phone sat on the bed in front of her with the voice of her mother pressing her about the past week.
"I'm sure it wasn't easy being the trophy wife this weekend, people were going crazy this side." Her mother chuckled from the other end.
"Ma, you haven't spoken to me since I signed on that dotted line, you haven't checked up on me yet this is what you have to say to me after nearly 3 weeks without contact?" Nadia said with a strain in her voice.
"Oh come on. I was just giving you time to adjust to that fame you've always wanted and for the love of all that is good, cover up more. Do not need to see more than what I've already seen." Thembi said, not understanding how much she was hurting her daughter.
Quietly wiping her tears with her wrist, she thought back to how much peace she had before she called her mother.
The journey from South Africa to the uk had been a tough one when Nadia was much younger. Although the mother daughter pair had gone through hardships, they were as close as they could be. Residing in South London at the time had been a rollercoaster, from trying to fit in with the other kids to adapting to the new culture around her, it became easier thanks to friends she made along the way.
Within a year and a half of moving countries, Thembi announced to her daughter that they would be moving in with a new man, her 'friend' for the time being all the way in Stevenage. Nadia saw her mother's entire personality change the second the last box was dropped off by the movers, a new demeanour being shown off to the neighbours and a less kind version of her was shown to Nadia.
Conversations were barely there, hugs were rarely given and reassurance was never enough as opposed to the affection she would previously receive from before the move. Wanting to keep the positives on the surface, Nadia decided to distract herself from her feelings and continued to go to school with her old friends even if it meant travelling distances just to get away from her mother.
As Nadia grew older, so did the sudden change of attitude from her mother, finding the need to comment on everything she found wrong with Nadia. In rebellion, the girl would wear whatever would make her happy, get the tattoos she felt she needed and not spending as much time with her mother as she did before. When university opened, she hurried to move out, already planning her life out and visited her home country to find comfort in her family back home, her cousin Rea becoming a younger sister to her.
However after uni, Thembi seeked therapy to better her relationship with her daughter. Happy to go back to the way it was before, their relationship became healthier and happier after years. What changed?
Sighing out, Nadia ignored her mother's harsh words. "When is Rea going to get there? You've cancelled her flight three times already."
"Only next week Thursday. Ooh tell me, has he bought you anything fancy yet?" Anyone could imagine the smug look on her mother's face as she asked the question.
"Bye mom. Greet James." Rolling her eyes, Nadia hung up and gently rubbed her eyes, getting rid of the tears with her knuckles. Texting Rea that she should rather move in with her, she let out a sigh at the thought of her mother's sudden phone call the day after the race.
Walking into the en-suite bathroom, she fixed up her light makeup with music playing from her phone. Lewis had texted her earlier that he would be going on a run, not too sure what Nadia would want to do during the day before their trip to Malibu. She blinked the tears back whilst tilting her head backward to avoid them falling once again.
The cold tiles of the bathroom were cooling off the high temperature of her body, mainly from all the emotions and the overall heat in Miami. All she wanted to do was leave Miami and curl up in her bed - her old bed. The one she would lay on after an incredibly long day of teaching high schoolers. The one that had her plushies that she was gifted by her students. The one where she could be lying in at that very moment but she decided to drive to her mom's house that fateful day.
Deactivating her social media accounts was a no go as instructed by Tia, saying the engagement was good and for her to keep it up, the public unfamiliar with the concept of a WAG speaking to people as if they've been friends for decades. Having not gone too far into the mean and hateful comments, Nadia gets chills just thinking about it. How she's perceived by the world now with her newfound fame. One she did not ask for but she was willing to help her new friend.
That's all he was. A friend. Right?
Not realising she had zoned out and begun picking on her old acne scars, she hadn't heard her hotel room door open, a slightly breathless Lewis stood in the bathroom doorframe watching her pick at her skin whilst looking at a specific tile.
"Nads?" He called out but the girl still hadn't heard anything. Wiggling his neon sneakers on his feet within her vision, she snapped out of it, her eyes widening at the sight of him there. "Oh, hi." She greeted, voice as soft as silk as she looked at the man once then back to the mirror to avoid eye contact. "Everything okay?" He asked, wiping his forehead for any sweat left.
Nadia nodded, packing up her mini makeup bag from the marble counter, jewellery jangling as she zipped it up. "Just woke up a little weird and hungry, that's all. Are you good?" She responded, giving a half smile and she finally maintained eye contact with him.
"Yeah. Yeah, the run was good and ready for the day." He answered, feeling her energy yet just not sure where to put it between sadness or anger. "Still very proud of P2 yesterday, it was insane to see that live." She added, the gold grills matching her jewellery perfectly. Very casually dressed with a tired look in her eyes.
"Nads, are you sure you're good? Have you had breakfast?" He moved to the side as he watched her leave the bathroom with heavy footsteps. "The heat is killing me, not used to such and I was going to wait til the plane for something. Got too nervous to order room service." She slightly chuckled to herself, feeling a slight twist in her stomach.
Not wanting to upset her, he just gave her a look with his eyebrows a little raised and that made her crack. "Oh my days, don't look at me like that. We can go for lunch or something, I don't know." She suggested, looking away from Lewis to avoid looking into his eyes.
"What if I was going to compliment your hair?" He joked and crossed his arms with a slight chuckle.
"Please, I know that look from anywhere. I give it to my kids all the time." Nadia said while rolling her eyes, a soft smile on display. "Now let me change. The room's got stuffy air so we need to take a step outside." She shooed him away as she walked into the bathroom once again and closed the door with a huge smile.
Left standing in awe of her, Lewis shook his head as he headed out of her hotel room to change up for their outing.
-
The cold granadilla slushy had been freezing up Nadia's hand but she couldn't care less, the heat in Miami unbearable to no end. The pair sat in the back of the Escalade on the way to any mall nearby where Nadia could get some sandals, her feet suffocated by her sneakers.
Tia had advised them to travel by their allocated security cars because the streets of Miami were still buzzing with F1 fans, hungover or sober, hunting around for any f1 drivers that were around.
"Not that it isn't weird, it is, but I have to live with the fact that the women I have dreamed of styling one day know I exist and Pharrell too! Like my colleagues are blowing up my phone like crazy." Nadia emphasised, the slushy swishing around in her hand as she was talking.
Lewis could watch her talk for hours, even more when she was excited about something. He had thought that this weekend would be too much for Nadia with all the attention on her much more than the Grand Prix itself but the way she handled everything from the instagram posts to the multitude of introductions was incredible to watch.
She was graceful but with a spunk to her, expressing her personality to the friend group but not yet to the f1 media, wanting to get a bit more comfortable in that vicinity with Lewis by her side. Already seeing how she could get when someone were to wrong Lewis, the man was certain that they will get through this fake marriage with ease and fun, gaining a friendship within it.
"So what's your biggest goal with being a stylist? I haven't seen your work yet but I feel like it's phenomenal." He asked, smiling once he saw her roll her eyes at him.
"Phenomenal is a stretch but I'm trying to get like Law Roach or even work with a fashion house to be honest. I always wanted a way to show my work but I just never knew how to." She shrugged, taking a sip of the slushy.
"How about you style me for a few events and for a race or two?" He suggested.
"And take Eric's job? Are you crazy?" She stared at him with widened eyes and furrowed eyebrows but all he did was chuckle. "It'll be fun plus Eric knows already, he's more than excited for it." Lewis continued smiling, Nadia stared at him before releasing a sigh.
"When do I start?" She shook her head in disbelief, not believing what just happened. "Friday but the main brief is that we're sitting courtside." And like clockwork, he gave her a smile that she couldn't resist.
"You're just so full of surprises, aren't you? Let me find out there's more events you're hiding from me." Nadia said squinting her eyes at him, his cheeks eventually hurting from smiling at her.
"A magician never tells his tricks."
"Yeah yeah, Hamilton." Nadia replied, shaking her head once more as she got her purse ready, seeing the Miami Fashion District come into her view.
-
Pulling the bottom of her dress down constantly, she looked around at all the luxury stores that were never ending.
This wasn't the norm for her, she was hoping to see a much cheaper alternative than what was in front of her but she had to remember who she was in that very moment. She felt safe with two security detail walking stealthily behind them, her hands staying at the hem of her sundress.
"Your dress is okay, don't have to worry." Lewis leaned a little closer to her shoulder to whisper, sending back a reassuring smile. All she responded with was to hold his ring-clad hand in sign of appreciation.
Reaching Gucci, Nadia's first thought were those platform sandals she had seen on social media and in that exact moment, her mind went to the comfort she had been wanting since she hadn't packed any open shoes. Pulling him towards the store, everything in that store went quiet.
Sale associates just stopped and stared whilst costumers began whispering and muttering to themselves. Immediately spotting the sandals from afar, they walked slowly towards the shoe section of Gucci, trying to ignore all the eyes on them. From her peripheral vision, she could see someone speed walking towards them, fixing her uniform and her appearance once she reached the couple.
"Hello, welcome to Gucci. I'm Roni and I'll be your sales associate today." The woman introduced herself, looking straight at Lewis as she did.
"Nice to meet you, Roni. I'm Nadia and really we just came for a quick visit, hopefully get a few things whilst we're here." Nadia had on a bright smile as she spoke, the worker's smile fading as she looked at Nadia.
"Of course," Roni said, licking her teeth. "Where would you like to start? Perhaps dresses. It is a hot day in Miami." Looking at Nadia up and down with the slightest hint of disgust shown on her face, the woman continued to smile in her face.
Taken aback by the tone of her voice, Nadia just smiled and averted her gaze back to the shoe section. "It truly is but I have to pass. I'm much more interested in the shoes right now." She said, still holding onto Lewis' arm, who was enjoying every moment of this. "Alright, let me go get some champagne for you guys, racing must be tough in this heat." Roni smiled, turning around to walk in a different direction.
As soon as she was out of earshot, Nadia sighed out as they sat on the large velvet green couch. "Is this the crap i have to deal with? Her eyes said it all." She complained, rolling her eyes and placing her purse down. Following suit, he sat next to her and did not keep a friendly distance between them, relaxing his arm behind her.
"Don't worry about her or anyone else for that matter. People will purposefully piss you off for their enjoyment so let's just have a good time and we'll get ice cream later." He advised, not bothering to look around the shop but had focused all his attention on Nadia.
"Stand on your promise, Hamilton. I don't play about my ice cream." She joked, both chuckling after a beat of silence. Eyeing the store, she saw a few pieces that she knew would look good on Lewis and a few on herself. This one particular top was screaming her name, the Gucci monogram sticking out but it had a level of class to it, already imagining outfits with it on.
"The top is quite nice, I don't know what you could match it with to make it work but it seems cool." Lewis said, staring at the same top, unaware that their heads were tilted the same way. "You think so?" Nadia pondered. "Well you can't not be stylish around me so." He shrugged jokingly, earning another laugh from her. "Okay whatever you say, pookie bear." She patted his knee, watching a completely different sales associate head their way with a tray of champagne.
"Hi, I'm Tracey, my colleague Roni just decided to not help a couple because she didn't like the wife. Crazy I think she's talking about the Hamiltons because they came in here the same time." The new associate rambled off, placing the tray onto the small table next to them.
Finally looking up, Tracey's breath hitched. "Oh shit, that's you guys. Oh god, I'm sorry for my words." The younger girl apologised, eyes widened at the couple who just smiled at her.
"It's okay, lovely to meet you Tracey." Nadia smiled, amused at her actions. "What can I do for you today?" Tracey asked.
After a rather pleasant sales interaction with Tracey voicing how much she loved the both of them as a couple and as individuals, there they stood at the counter waiting for their items to be fully scanned. Lewis was very content with the pieces that Nadia had picked out for him, confident that every single one was going to look tailor made. When it came down to payment, Lewis had no problem in swiping his card as Nadia dug through her purse to find hers.
"Thank you for spending your time with us here at Gucci, Mr and Mrs Hamilton." The lady at the till said, handing the the large green bags that felt so good in Nadia's hands.
"It was really fun and tell Roni we said goodbye." Nadia smiled wickedly as she waved and walked out of the store with Lewis laughing at her words right behind her. "Damn that felt good. Gotta keep it cute and classy until it's not." She smiles as they walk to a different shop.
-
LOS ANGELES
"I swear, the powder I used for my under eyes is just super cakey." Natalia complained as she walked down the plane stairs onto the asphalt, Nadia following close behind with her carry on bag on her shoulder.
The Californianian air was different from that of Miami, less humid but a little hotter. It was late in the afternoon when the group landed, greeted by a beautiful sunset behind the Los Angeles skyline. After the impromptu shopping session, the plane was already for takeoff so everyone had hurried to be in the air by lunchtime.
Taking the time to catch up with everyone, the group shared laughs and their stories from Miami although it was less than a week that they had spent in the eccentric city. There was a gnawing feeling in the pit of Nadia's stomach, unable to get the guilt of spending Lewis' money as if it was hers. Although he reassured her multiple times that he was more than okay getting her whatever she wanted, she still felt uneasy about it all.
The all too familiar Escalades were parked on the ground, Lewis waiting patiently for Nadia to get down so that they could go to their destination. Seeing her confused face as Natalia, Miles and Daniel waved goodbye to them as everyone went to their respective cars, Lewis then spoke up. "Everyone's going their places, we're going to our house."
Snapping her head to look at him in bewilderment, she almost stopped in her tracks just to recall what he had said. "Another one?!" She whisper yelled, not wanting anyone near them to hear. He nodded with a closed smile as they reached their car with all their luggage inside, all similar to when they landed in Miami.
The morning came quite quick as the rest of the day ended with Nadia yet again exploring a new home, almost screaming when she saw the garage full of cars she only wished she could drive and you can imagine the shock when Lewis told her that in hindsight, they're her cars. In his words, "I don't really like to drive as much so you can use them as freely as you want."
Climbing out of the huge bed of the even larger guest bedroom, Nadia was careful to not wipe her eyes too much because of her extensions. Stretching every limb on her body, she walked towards the bathroom to splash water on her face to fully wake her up. The birds were still chirping from beyond the closed curtains and the sun was shining through the slivers of the curtain, creating a peaceful aura throughout the room.
Her bonnet luckily stayed on through the night, grabbing her glasses from the night stand along with her phone, she walked out of the room with her fluffy slippers on her feet. The trip downstairs was quiet and the aroma of something sweet wafted through the air, making her wonder where Lewis was.
Reaching the last step, she saw something move in the corner of her eye. Rather small, the thing moved towards her with its feet patting against the floor. Looking in its direction, the first thing she saw was the droopy mouth belonging to the short dog and her heart almost stopped, the fear running through her body as she continued to stare at the dog.
"Oh my god, please don't come close." She whispered out loud, hoping the dog would listen. Nadia was frozen in her place and she was too afraid to look anywhere else in case the dog moved towards her. "I see you've met Roscoe. Hope he's been kind." Lewis' voice spoke from behind her, crouching down to pet the dog lovingly. The silence from Nadia was odd, he turned his head to see her frightened state as she didn't move her gaze from Roscoe.
"Nads? Nads? Okay, let's get Roscoe out of here." He called out then whispered to himself, carrying the dog out of the living room then hurrying back to Nadia.
"Well that was my dog, Roscoe. I'm sorry he scared you." With a worried expression on his face, Lewis placed his hands on her arms to snap her out of her frozen state. Finally making eye contact with him through her glass lenses, she spoke up. "I-it's okay. Just have to get used to seeing him." She nodded, wanting to end the awkwardness right there.
"Anyway, good morning. Did you eat yet?" She said, slightly smiling and making her way towards the marble kitchen island, the two plates on top of it were filled with stacks of waffles with a side of fruit next to it. "Uh no, waited for you to wake up so I just took a run in the meantime." He mentioned, following behind her and took his seat across from her.
In that very moment, her heart fluttered at his words. It was so simple yet so sweet of a gesture to do for her. "Thank you for that, Lew. Let's eat up then." She replied, a shy smile on her face as she felt his eyes on her. The two dug in to their breakfast that Lewis had made for them earlier in the morning, wanting the logistics of their relationship.
"So, I need to know how you feel about pda and how much you're willing to show to the public. We have to make this look real." Nadia said, biting down on a slice of apple. "I don't have an issue with it, just as you're comfortable with it." He responded. Just nodding along, she continued to eat the fruit.
"This is just so weird to me. Three weeks ago I would've been in my apartment trying to think how i'm gonna get groceries for the month and now i'm in Los fucking Angeles eating fruit with 5 cars sitting in the garage. It's crazy." She blurted out, everything now properly dawning on her as they sat down in peace.
"Life works in mysterious ways for sure, never thought I would be sitting in my kitchen with my wife on a Wednesday morning." He said, the smallest of chuckles escaping him. "You are very good with your words, sir. A lil too good." She joked, pointing the fork at him.
"What's the plan today? I don't think I can handle anything hectic." She asked, her accent changing when she said 'hectic' . Giving her a cocked eyebrow at the sudden change of accent, Nadia looked smug.
"A little history on me. I moved to the uk at 8 years old and this south african accent stuck with me for a while until I reached high school. By then my mother decided to send me back home with my aunt and cousin to complete high school that side then year 12, I went back for university. The slang and accent never left me along with the 6 languages I know." She explained, almost bursting into laughter after seeing his face morph from curiosity to shock.
"Six?!" He vocalised. "And counting, my kids don't call me Superwoman for nothing." Biting into another piece, she smiled as her phone vibrated multiple times. Looking at the name across the screen, she immediately sighed and got up off her seat and signalled that she would be back.
The school's name flashed across her screen as she walked into the familiar hallway towards the guest bedroom.
"Hello Ms Brown! I hope this doesn't disturb your holiday." Lisa, the headmaster of the school, greeted with such enthusiasm.
"Well, it slightly is but what does that matter. Anything you need? Has the parents evening been postponed?" She scratched her head as she held the phone up to her ear.
"Uh, no. There's something I wanted to discuss with you and I thought it would be great for a one on one. We as the school has noticed you are quite the star these days, bringing much more traction than what you get from school already." Lisa chuckled at the last sentence, seeming to quiet down when she realised Nadia wasn't laughing.
"Oh, yes Ms Crawford. This was a subject I had wanted to discuss with the rest of the staff when we get back from the holidays. Of course this isn't something minuscule, all the media attention has been quite intense." Nadia responded, watching as Roscoe walked closer to her and sat by her feet.
There was a beat of silence from the other end of the phone call. "That was what I wanted to actually talk to you about, Ms Brown-"
"Its Mrs Hamilton." Nadia corrected.
"Ah yes, my apologies Mrs Hamilton. As much as we do appreciate your ways of teaching here at our school, we as the board have been thinking of releasing you from your position as the history teacher. Now I know it's all sudden but we feel it's good for our school." Lisa announced, voice filled with pity.
"Now excuse my manners, Ms Crawford, but I would like to know who all decided to quote on quote, fire me. Furthermore, when signing the work contract, you personally had assured me that you would stand behind your teachers through it all. Am I correct?" She started, standing up straight with Roscoe following suit.
"You are correct however this would ruin the reputation of the school and our relationships with other schools in the district. It truly pains us to do so." With the same false pity tone, Lisa spoke.
"I hope you do realise that we are about to start the second term of the school year after these two weeks and I do not appreciate the current dismissal you are going through with just solely because I married a prominent figure. Neither do I wish to leave my flourishing students because the board does not agree with my marriage." Nadia indicated.
"Not to mention prior to this conversation, no one had contacted me in regards to a possible sacking. So I would like for you and the rest of the board to rethink your approach on this matter. I do not accept this and this issue can be taken to court if you prefer to continue with this. And through a phone call? Really?" With that, Nadia knew she had won upon hearing the sigh on the other side of the phone.
With a few moments passing by, Lisa sighed out. "You are correct about this, I do apologise. See you after the holidays then, Mrs Hamilton." And with that, the headmaster said her goodbyes in defeat.
Crouching down to pet Roscoe, she held his face in her hands. "We fucking did that, boy. Thanks for being there, you not so bad after all." She smiled at the happy dog, standing up straight to back downstairs to finish her breakfast.
"And? What was that?" Lewis spoke up, putting his phone down next to his fruit bowl.
"These bitches tried to fire me so I said no. Can't get rid of their only history teacher." She wiggled her shoulders with the biggest smile on her face, biting down on the remaining fruits.
"And your dog's cool. Sat with me the whole time."
"Damn. Remind me to never get on your bad side. Let's get celebratory croissants?" Lewis giggled, taking both of their plates to wash them off.
"You read my mind, Sir!"
-
Standing in front of the open garage door, Nadia stared at the two cars in front of her. The sun in the courtyard was hitting her back but she didn't mind, as long as she continued to look at the cars.
Lewis' words rang in her head, unable to shake off the fact that technically, these were her cars as well. The Urus was very tempting to drive but she knew she didn't trust herself with that type of speed yet. The Mercedes GLE however, looked so classy and seemed like a joy to drive.
The decision took so long that she didn't notice that Lewis was taking pictures of the scene in front of him, his wife stuck between choosing cars to drive on the sunny streets of LA. "Can I drive today?" She asked once realising that he was next to her, wearing a comfortable outfit.
"You can drive whenever you want." He smiled, handing her the keys of the suv he knew she was going to pick. "Okay, cute. You'll be my passenger prince." She smiled, pinching his cheek then happily walked towards the driver's side.
Just sighing in content, he walked to the passenger's side, hopping in to see Nadia exploring the interior of the car, matching that of the black exterior. "This shit is huge." She muttered to herself as she leaned over to look at the backseats and all its intricate details.
"And before you say anything pookie bear, Tia made me do an international license when we didn't see each other. So you're safe driving with me." She reassured, putting her now blonde hair behind her ears.
"I think i like this passenger prince business." He expressed, already making himself in the seat, pushing it back and relaxing.
"Let me search up a bakery and we'll be on our way." Nadia started the car up and was geeked by the roar of the car.
And on their way they were. Blasting Beyoncé as Lewis suggested they go to a vegan bakery in Malibu, the two sang both old and new songs during the drive. Barely through her hip hop playlist, she found parking in front of the surprisingly popular bakery.
"Now you know I don't play about Beyoncé. I did not expect this place to be busy right now." Nadia pointed out, fixing the sunglasses on her head. "You'd be shocked at the amount of vegan people in Malibu alone. If you want, I can go in by myself and get the treats." He offered, unbuckling his seatbelt and holding his phone in his hand.
"We're going in together, I do not look this cute to sit in the car." She flipped her hair, dramatically exiting the car, making him laugh quite loud at her antics. Holding his hand out, Lewis connected his with Nadia's, feeling a chill when he felt her ring touch his skin. He led the way into the bakery, the sweet smell of the treats was a bit of a treat in itself.
Gasping at the baked goods on display, she didn't hesitate to greet and place an order, mouth salivating at the sight of the treats. Once Lewis also made his order, Nadia brought out her card to pay, wanting to test that it actually worked and it definitely did.
Enjoying the chocolate doughnuts in the bakery, the two laughed at the whole ordeal of the phone call this morning. "I've never had a good relationship with this new headmaster at all. She has been on my case since she joined two years ago." Nadia informed, drinking a bit of her pink lemonade.
"The courage of just saying no is so endearing to hear. Can't believe she wanted to sack you in the middle of a term. Again, the courage is so cool, Nads." He complimented her and he watched as her shoulders started to rise as a way of blushing.
"Thanks, pookie bear. Means a lot. So where to from here?" She asked, ignoring his gaze on her the whole time.
"We've got lunch with friends of mine, then home time." He said so calmly, not noticing Nadia's eyes widening at the information.
"I'm not dressed for lunch with your friends, Lew! Could've warned a girl first." She stressed, looking down at her outfit. "Wanted you to be comfortable the whole day hence I didn't tell you our plans today." He showed his full smile, wanting so badly to laugh at her facial expression.
"You are so lucky you're sitting across me right now or else I would've bitten you." She rolled her eyes at his giggles. 
Within a matter of time, the Mercedes suv entered through the high black gates of their destination with a press of a button on the intercom outside. Nadia drove in the driveway quite slowly, unfamiliar with her surroundings as she saw a cars parked in the courtyard. The sound of the waves crashing could be heard when stepping out of the car.
"Damn your friend's got bank." She commented, opening the backseat door to get her purse. "And by the sea too? I just know it's a different world here." She added, closing her door and locked the car when she saw Lewis walk closer to her with a smirk on his face.
"Yeah, Bey and Jay wanted serenity next to the sea." He said, looking back at Nadia who was frozen in her tracks.
"Did you just fucking say Bey and Jay?!" She whisper yelled as she pulled Lewis closer to her. He nodded with the same expression he had from before. "Are you fucking crazy? I can't meet Beyoncé, Lewis! I'm not ready!" Nadia's stress levels were sky high as she held onto his arm tighter, standing by the car.
"Wanted to tell you earlier but when you started playing her music in the car, just knew I had to surprise you." He smiled. "Look, if it makes it any better, she's excited to meet you as well." Lewis told her and if her eyes couldn't get any wider, she looked behind her husband's broad arm to see the woman of the hour walk towards them.
"There you two are! We were scared y'all weren't coming no more!" The happy southern voice rang through the courtyard and Nadia was scared shitless. "My goodness, Lewis! She's a beauty. Hi, I'm Beyoncé." The woman introduced herself to Nadia and she quickly snapped out of it once she realised her favourite artist was speaking directly to her.
"Hello, I'm Nadia." She managed to speak up as Beyoncé extended her hand out to shake hers. Surprisingly enough, Nadia's hands weren't sweaty neither did she stutter over her words like she thought she would. The woman went on to greet Lewis with a side hug then invited them inside.
"It was so lovely meeting you guys, a full circle moment on my end." Nadia smiled, holding onto her purse and onto Rumi's hand, the little girl so interested in everything that has to do with Nadia. "No, it was our pleasure to host you guys. My God, a couple I never saw coming. Y'all welcome back here anytime." Beyoncé said, the group of 4 walking towards the front door and into the courtyard once again.
"We'll definitely take you up on that offer, thank you for inviting us into your lovely home. Better get home before it gets too dark." Nadia replied, leaning into the hug between her and Bey whilst looking at the sunset over the horizon.
"We'll catch y'all in Paris." Jay Z smiled with a toothpick in his mouth. He dapped Lewis up as everyone said their goodbyes after a successful lunch. Now sitting in the passenger seat, Nadia held her head in her hands as he swiftly drove out the long driveway.
"I just met Beyoncé, I don't think you understand the damage you just did." She turned to Lewis, who kept the same smile as before. "And that is?" "I'm never going to stop talking about it."
"I'm glad you're happy. Saw an opportunity and I ran for it." He voiced, patting her thigh before putting his hand back on the steering wheel. "Remind me to give you the biggest hug when we get home." She smiled, becoming comfortable in the seat, not knowing how much Lewis' heart raced after hearing her refer to the house as home.
-
FRIDAY
"Stay still! I need my vision to come to life." Nadia ordered, holding his face in her hands. There were two different earrings on his ears and she was trying to decide which better suited the outfit. "Okay, wear the first pair then go to the mirror and tell me what you think." She requested, standing back to let him look at his outfit.
"Oh this is really good. Ooh, this outfit is good." He admired his outfit in the mirror, impressed by her styling and how she kept it simple yet so him.
"Glad you love it. Let me go get changed so that we won't be late." She rushed, almost running out of his room to hers, luckily her hair and makeup was done. Nadia quickly put on her outfit and made sure to take pictures in the big mirror in the closet.
Soothing over her top, she then places her sunglasses on her head and spritz her perfume for the last time before stepping out the room. At the same time, Lewis stepped out of his room and glanced at her outfit before doing a double take.
Everything sat so perfectly, the outfit had really simple colours that weren’t too loud but her silhouette accentuated it all. Both outfits complimented each other greatly whilst showing their own style individually. “Wow.” He blurted out, hoping that she didn’t hear that.
“Damn I did good.” She muttered to herself as she looked at him as well, very proud of her styling.
“You ready to go?” Lewis asked, finally focusing on her face and fidgeting with his rings. “Yeah, yeah.” She said in a light voice, carefully walking towards the stairs then feeling his hand slip into hers to help her downstairs.
“Remember, this isn’t real,Nadia.”
“Remember, this isn’t real, Lewis.”
nadiahamilton • 15 min ago “great day to be a lakers fan”
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dividers by: @cafekitsune
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