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#he gets CHILDREN into his scemes!
panlight · 1 year
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What if Carlisle meet Issac Newton?
I feel like Carlisle has met a lot of famous people in his life. Not in a Forrest Gump kind of way where he just so happened to be there when everything important happened, but rather he’s been around for SO long that statistically he had to have like, gone to medical school with someone who became famous, or treated someone who became famous, or whatever. 
That is, they probably weren’t famous when he met them, but later they became famous. 
Carlisle was born somewhere around 1640, give or take a few years (Note: STILL annoyed with SM’s ‘they didn’t keep track of time back then’ nonsense. THEY DID. THEY ABSOLUTELY DID. YOU CAN LOOK UP CHURCH REGISTERS FROM THE ERA ON ANCESTRY.COM! I HAVE DONE IT! BAPTISMS, MARRIAGES AND BURIALS ALL CAREFULLY RECORDED WITH THE DATE! ALSO CARLISLE’S MOTHER DIED IN CHILDBIRTH! SO IF CARLISLE DOESN’T KNOW HIS BIRTHDAY HE ALSO DOESN’T KNOW WHEN HIS MOTHER DIED! WOULDN’T THERE HAVE BEEN SOMETHING ON HER GRAVESTONE?! I KNOW THIS ISN’T IMPORTANT IN THE GRAND SCEME OF ~PROBLEMS WITH TWILIGHT~ BUT SERIOUSLY!), and Newton in 1642. So they’re about the same age. I don’t know that they would have been in the same circles as Carlisle was London-based and Newton was in Lincolnshire. And then Carlisle becomes a vampire and stays away from humanity for a while, then he comes back and studies in Europe, then goes to Volterra. I suppose during his studies he could have theoretically met Newton? 
Also now I can’t get the idea out of my head that Mike Newton is related to Isaac Newton. Newton didn’t marry or have children, but Mike could be a distant cousin or something. 
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sweetlittlegingy · 1 year
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oh my god i am SOBBING!!!
adam is even worse than i thought he would be. he was going to take the baby? that is the most disgusting thing i have ever heard. god. the fact that people like this exist is terrifying. and he had been stocking them? my god, he’s no better than the devil.
poor maty, having to see that AGAIN! no one should see anything like that but especially not a child. the fact that adam thought he could come in and say that maty is his son? no, absolutely not. he not only signed his rights to maty away but all of the things that he did to y/n? your not going to trust a man like that with a child.
y/n and jake reacted how any good parent would react in a situation like that, they’re first thought was “are my children safe? i need to get them away from this.” so they did, y/n told maty to run and jake told them to take the kids and go. lacey and bob are amazing, they got the kids away from the situation and brought them to the safety of their own home. i can only imagine how hard it was for them to leave without knowing anything about y/n, if she was alive, what happened, they didn’t know anything. it truly is a miracle that no serious physical damage was caused to either y/n or jake. i was so scared that all of the stress of the situation would cause something to happen in her heart again but no, and i am so glad! i will definitely need a part three with more fluff.
i am so glad that jake didn’t kill adam, they could have some how twisted it to make jake the bad guy and gotten him thrown behind bars and that would have been a thousand times worse. but no, nat came out and was able to help him understand that killing adam wasn’t the smart thing to do in the grand sceme of things.
i’m just really glad that y/n is physically okay, i don’t think i could handle her being in the hospital again. i’m per paired to watch as the seresin family rebuild themselves and each other with a lot of therapy and love.
Bobby and Lacey are amazing, I love them! That is why they are godparents to the kids, for sure!
Yeah, Adam is just horrible and I hate him. It truly blows my mind that there are people like this in the world. I just don't understand it and ya'll need Jesus. If they don't believe in Jesus, then they need a higher power to knock some sense into them!
I was so indecisive on whether or not I was gonna have Jake kill Adam. I quite literally sat and stared at my computer for at least 10 minutes. Then I was like fuck it and made @topguncortez choose for me! Thanks, G!!! 🤍
I can't wait to see them rebuild, the next part that will specifically go with the last two is gonna be very fluffy and sweet. So, I'm really excited. Typing while crying is hard and I don't wanna do it again right now. 😆
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lover-of-catboys · 3 years
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parasitic butterlies
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hey!
did you know some butterfly species drink blood?
also vampires were often used as an allogory for the rich comsumming the lifeforce of the workers?
just food for thought :)
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pxregoth · 3 years
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omh okay so theres this telugu movie where this guy, nani, is in love with his neighbor, bindhu, right? cue music, shenanigans, funky scemes, and boom, villain!!
villain likes bindhu too but hes an ass and he knows nani likes bindhu, so he kills nani! but then nani gets reincarnated as a fly. as a fly, he helps bindhu out (shes a microartist by night, some kind of childrens volunteer by day) and then reveals that he is nani!
she finds out villain killed him, and they plot to kill the villain. as a fly, he can get in and out easily. a lot of attempts to hurt him work, but they cant kill him. slowly, the villain learns that the fly is trying to kill him, and bindhu helped the fly, obviously no one believes him ("holy fuck bestie, a fly is tryna murder me !!" go to bed) and ofc bindhu can make armor and stuff for the fly bc shes a microartist.
im realizing this sounds very weird when you havent seen the movie.
at the end, the villain traps them, theres a whole thing, pew pew pew, big fight scene, villain dies but!! so does nani :(
but wait! hes reincarnated again! still a fly, but theyre in love so whatever. they try to get married but the priest thinks shes tryna marry a thief and actually im not gonna explain that bc it doesnt matter.
it sounds weird, but i HIGHLY recommend watching the movie with subs, its 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽
are y’all okay over there? literally what is this story line 😭 and i thought telenovelas were chaotic
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moonlit-imagines · 4 years
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Masterminds
Dick Grayson x fem!reader
warnings: smut/NSFW, alcohol mention
a/n:
prompt: anonymous: “Titans all working together to get reader and dick to admit their feelings for each other? Maybe some smut or at least heavy messy making out?”
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“I’m so sick of watching Dick and y/n butting heads every goddamn second of the day.” Rose rolled her eyes while observing the argument you and Dick were having over one of your most recent missions.
“It’s so obvious they want to fuck.” Jason shook his head, and Rose was none too pleased. She swatted his arm. “What? It’s the truth.” He shrugged as he opened a snack-sized bag of chips.
“No, Dick, you were the one who put everyone in danger during the mission. You’re not fit to lead this team! Just face it!” You threw your hands in the air while Dick gave you a stone-cold look.
“You fucked it up when you dropped that smoke bomb.” He hissed through clenched teeth.
“The smoke bomb that prevented them from aiming their guns at us? Huh?” You shot back, keeping Dick silent. “Don’t have anything to say? I thought so.” You grabbed your gear and marched out of the room. “If I were you, I’d give stepping down a thought.”
“They’re in love.” Rose leaned her head onto Jason’s shoulder and chuckled. He pulled out his phone and texted the Borderline Child Abuse groupchat.
JJ: i propose a sceme
Gar: no. please.
Rosie: hear him out
Rach: what gar said
JJ: fuck off, we’re trying to get y/n and dick together
Gar: about time, they’ve been at each other’s throats for months
JJ: yeah, that’s why we’re fixing them because they can’t function on their own
Rach: plan?
Rosie: we were thinking about locking them in a room
Rosie: but let’s be honest, they’d find a way out in 5 minutes or less
Gar: fair point
Rach: what if we set up a mission? like, try and convince them that they have to go undercover on a date. maybe it’ll put them in the mood?
JJ: ...anyone against that one?
JJ: speak now or forever hold your peace
Rosie: best plan so far, lets do it
The kids conducted this plan carefully. They sent messages to Dick through Donna’s accounts, giving intel about a suspect that they needed to keep an eye out for. Then the kids made a dinner reservation for you guys and instructed him to take you undercover. He protested, but their reasoning was that all the other adult Titans were out of town.
Dick wasn’t happy with this plan, but neither were you, so that made him feel a little better.
Operation: Date Night was a-go. You and Dick had to dress up pretty proper for this place. It was a higher-class place. But Dick was paying, so it was fine by you. You stepped out of your room wearing the fanciest outfit you could find. An ankle-length, dark blue dress with matching earrings and a necklace, and black open-toed heels. The kids didn’t hesitate to hype you up while you walked through the Tower.
“Well, you don’t look like shit today.” Dick commented.
“Wish I could say the same for you.” You rolled your eyes and walked into the elevator. “Stay out of trouble, guys. We’ll be at a hotel tonight on patrol. Don’t stay up late and eat a decent dinner, you got me?” You warned them all.
“Yes, we got you.” The chorus of bored children sang. You nodded with a smirk as the elevator doors closed.
“You’re not their mom.” Dick told you.
“And? Someone needs to show them some love. And three of them don’t even have moms, so can it, Grayson.” You snapped back, keeping him quiet. The elevator took you to the garage, where you got to pick your car for the night. You picked the black BMW. It was practical.
“Get in.” Dick held the door for you and slammed it as soon as you got in. Nearly took off your foot.
“Watch it, Dick-head.” You snarled at him, but he just ignored you and started the car. You weren’t happy about this date. Real or not, you didn’t want to be seen in public with him. Once you’d arrived at the restaurant, you had to be on your best behavior. Stay in character.
It was awkward, there was a lot of small talk as you peered around the room, looking for a target. You just kept sipping your wine and wishing you could divert attention away from Dick. He was a bore. After a few minutes, you peered over to him and noticed he was staring. At your cleavage.
“Hey, asshole, my eyes are up here.” You snapped.
“My bad.” He leaned back in his chair and took another scan of the room. “Maybe our guy is already at the hotel?”
“I guess he could be. I think we should finish our dinner and head over.” You suggested. Dick nodded in agreement and started scarfing his food down. You kicked his shin and startled him. He gave you a hurt-puppy look.
“Ow.”
—————
You and Dick headed to the hotel and checked in under your fake names. It was a nice hotel, it really was. Pretty expensive, though. Your room was on the fifth floor, and you had a different view. Dick carried your bags like the good fake boyfriend he was. You opened the door for him and he threw your bags down.
“That was rude.” You checked the room out while he jumped onto the bed. The only bed. “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding.”
“Guess you’re sleeping on the floor.” He joked with you, but it was not amusing.
“Watch it.” You glared at him. “I need to clean up.” You rifled through your bag and found some clean clothes to wear. You hopped in the shower for a quick minute and washed your face, then put on some pajamas. It was really just shorts and a bra. When you left the bathroom, you found Dick standing in the middle of the room in his underwear.
“Well, at least I’m not the only one in the Tower sleeping half-naked.” He remarked. You walked past him and sat in the bed. You knew he was checking you out when you weren’t looking. “So, where do you think this guy is?” He asked.
“No,” You clicked the TV remote, “fucking,” and again, “clue.” Dick stared at your legs, wishing he was in between them now. He hated himself for thinking that.
“If you really want to lead the team, maybe you should care a little more about the mission.” He commented, knowing it’d piss you off. You stopped and turned the TV off, then got to your feet and stomped towards him.
“You’re one to fucking talk, aren’t you?” You huffed.
“Would you like me to stop?” Dick asked slyly. You licked your lips and clenched your teeth, trying to restrain yourself, but to no avail. You jumped into his arms and pressed your lips onto his. This is what he’s wanted all night. And for a while. You, too. You were both just too stupid to realize.
He threw you down onto the bed and crawled on top of you, aggressively making out with you. You could feel his bulge growing against you. Dick’s kisses started getting sloppier as he moved down to your neck, sucking uneven dark spots across it. Then he grabbed it and whispered to you.
“You’re gonna have the time of your life.” He gently took your earlobe in between his teeth, making you shiver. He rubbed you through your shorts, teasing you ever so slightly. He placed kisses above your waistline, you whined as you waited for him to get it on. But he wasn’t so easy. He moved upwards and removed your bra. Fast. Guess he was good for something. He grabbed your breasts and massaged your nipples.
“Oh, my God, Dick, what are you doing to me?” You whimpered. He moved his mouth to you and put his mouth on your nipple, slowly sucking while you rested your hand on his head, humming as his tongue flicked against your nipple. Soon enough, you’re tits were covered in hickeys, too. Dick moved back down to the waistline and quickly ripped your shorts off. Not quite the underwear. He kept rubbing, now kissing your thighs, and occasionally biting them.
“Oh, yeah, you’re soaked.” He grabbed your pussy and felt the damp underwear. With that, he ripped it off and slid his fingers inside you. The arch in your back let him know you were ready for this. He pumped his fingers in and out of you while you moaned loudly. Dick leaned forward and began kissing your clit, but not before vigorously sucking on it. You grabbed his hair and panted through moans.
“Oh, Dick, yes!” You called to him. He flicked his tongue against your clit and started curling his fingers. “God!” He used his other hand to push your stomach down a bit. It felt even more intense, then. He was good with his tongue. Dick squeezed your thigh and sucked and pumped nonstop. In no time, you were coming.
“You taste pretty good, how about that?” He told you as he started to go down on you again. You were shaking and it only turned him on more.
“Fuck me, Dick. Fuck me.” You pleaded. He chuckled at your begging.
“Should I?” He asked as he straddled you. You nodded. Dick leaned down and started to make out with you again, driving you crazy and he knew it. He stuck his tongue down your throat and held your tits in both of his hands.
“Please, Dick.” You frowned. He licked his lips and teeth and observed your bothered expression.
“Okay, fine. You asked for it.” He ripped his underwear off and you stared at his cock. It was bigger than you expected. He climbed over you and lined himself up, then stuck his dick inside you. You both let out a loud moan and he began to slide back and forth inside you. Without warning, he started thrusting into you, making you practically scream. He grabbed you by the throat and thrusted again and again. “Keep quiet, or else.”
He then grabbed your wrists and started kissing your neck again while you held your breath. His pace started slowing, but you expected it to change any second now. And ,of course, he pushed his cock in and out, in and out, while rubbing your clit. Your breathing was hard and unsteady, he enjoyed it. He moved closer to your ear.
“Get on your hands and knees.” He instructed. He pulled out of you and got you into position. Before going in, he grabbed both of your asscheeks and slapped one. He aligned himself again and slid in, immediately thrusting hard. One of his arms was extended to hold the headboard, which was banging against the wall. His other hand was wrapped around your hair, pulling your head back whenever he may please. You hummed each time he pushed inside you. “Am I hearing something?” He stopped and asked.
“N-no. I’m being quiet.” You told him.
“Good.” He slapped your ass and kept going. The headboard’s loud thuds drowned out most of the sounds you were making. “I’m going to come.” You heard him say. You backed your ass into him, helping him out some. “Oh, look what you’re doing to me.” He grabbed your hips and slammed them into his own. You could feel him inside you. He pulled out and flipped you over putting his cock in between your cleavage for a minute.
He slid back and forth, grunting as you pushed your tits together. Soon enough, he came. He aimed it all over your chest and moaned loud. You took your finger and swiped it across his mess, he watched in awe as you licked your fingers clean. Dick got up to grab you a towel and clean you up. You laid on the bed, panting and still shaking. He cleaned you off and threw the towel to the side.
“You didn’t think this was over, did you?” Dick started rubbing your clit again, making you resume moaning.
“You sure know how to please a girl.” You moved into his touch.
“Tonight, you’re mine.” He licked your pussy. “What I say, goes.” You bit your lip.
“Wish you asserted yourself as the team leader like that.” You tried to get under his skin.
“Oh, so it’s gonna be like that?” He asked you with an evil smirk. “You’re gonna regret it.” He took three fingers and stuck them inside you, viciously pumping as you screamed. “You like that?”
“Oh, yes, fuck! Fuck!” You were making a lot of noise now.
“What did I say about being quiet? Now I have to punish you.” He said roughly.
“What’s my punishment?” You asked innocently. He sat on the side of the bed.
“On your knees. Now.” Dick pointed down. You crawled off the bed and complied. You got on your knees in front of him and saw his throbbing penis. “We can’t wait all night, can we?” He brushed the side of your face softly, then grabbed you by the chin. “Make me proud.”
You grabbed his dick with one hand and wrapped your lips around it. It felt bigger in your mouth, too. Dick put one of his strong hands on your head and you began moving along it’s length back and forth. His hand guided you farther and farther up his cock and your eyes started to water. But his moans of satisfaction kept you going. You spun your tongue around his tip, which drove him crazy.
“What are you doing to me, oh, baby.” He brushed your hair with his fingers. You sucked harder and faster, which spiked his breathing, you could tell it was only a matter of time before he came again. “I saw how much you enjoyed my cum earlier,” he roughly balled his fists in your hair, “hope you’re just as excited.” You felt him release in your mouth as he moaned in delight. You were quick to swallow it all for him.
He watched contently as you licked his cock clean. He wiped the tears from your face and gave you a big kiss.
“Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
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the-nsr-family · 3 years
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Tatiana's Realization
The title refers to several things I have mentioned in the past, her being her old bandmates children, her realizing her niece is alie and in front of her, and the fact she’s actually going to adopted the two.
Its starts at the audition, with mayday’s last name. She had fully and legally changed her name to Tatiana Quartz. But her former name wasnt uncommon, but is wasnt common either. But Mayday was her niece’s name (the niece she refused to see, whose now long dead in a grave beside her parents), and the girl played Rock as her music. she and her bandmate played the opening to the Goolings last album. No.
Not today.
The girl lost her temper so easily when she was confronted with her words and the disqualifying buzzers. (Just like her little brother)
The next time the meet face to face is during that rock revolution of theirs. Both sides shoving into eachothers face their wrong doings… then kliff enters.
And oh so many things started to make sense. They confrontation with DJ Subatomic Supernova? Not fully thought out, More of a confrontation on why only the main concert halls had power (she watched the security footage you know), DJ didnt help (why is it that AGGRAVATING EVERYONE is his favorite hobby?).
But afterwards? how they became more focused and targeted (even with hesitating at Yinu’s concert and solely aiming at the piano), made sense someone was giving them information on how things live the secuirity worked. Yet they didnt know his scemes, their confusion was real.
as was their desperation to fix it as fast as they could when kliff sent the satilite crashing down.
they parted ways soon after. Kliff got away, so she gave them her phone number in case he tries to contact them again, and that was that.
But she was looking into her Brother’s family death now, in between city clean up and updating policies and a million other things… she finds out Her Mayday may not be dead, but she’s missing, has been sense she was about 15.
Its possible for the Rocker Mayday to be Her Mayday, if she lived seven years on the streets and managed to get enough money for her guitar.
She was going to call for a check in with the band (and give back the fixed guitar) when Zuke called.
He sounded a bit strained at first, before he rapidly broke down crying, she could barley make out what he was saying… and she couldnt hear mayday at all, those two never left each others sides, so she broke into a run and had a driver take her as close as possible to their location.
she kept him on the phone so she could not only find them, but try to get him to calm down.
and when she found them, the blue alligator was hissing at her from zukes feet (before the blue haired man calmed her down) while he was barely standing there with mayday in his arms.
Getting all three inot the car wasnt hard but, mayday’s confused panic attack was just was bad, as Zuke flew into another panic.
by the time they got to the hospital zuke needed to be sedated and she was left in the waiting room. An animal control officer took their pet to a nearby exoitic vet. she cancled her meetings and apointments for the next few days.
(prt1 one. Heartbreaker) ___________ this is just...really good ngl
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eriksangel666 · 4 years
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ALRIGHTY SO I FIGURED THIS WOULD BE A BETTER FORMAT!
Their names are Danielle and Montgomery Calvet, although they go by Danny and Monty most of the time. They be twins and their mother is a janitor at the Garnier.
Danny:
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She’s a cello player and has little concern for her own safety. She’s full of energy and yet isn’t really a goofball, unless it’s a really well-structured joke she probably won’t laugh at it. She’s insanely curious and would probably climb up on the catwalk to get a better look at something, which is how she found Erik. She tends not to get scared easily but is utterly terrified of letting her guard down in front of people - nobody but her twin brother can see her cry or show any amount of venerability. Must protecc.
Monty:
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Is less of a troublemaker than his sister, but is no less scared of venerability. He’s pretty curious but definetly wouldn’t go exploring just for fun like his sister would, and often has to be roped into her scemes. He loves to sing however he doesn’t know how to do it properly, so he’s low-key really injuring his vocal cords every time he opens his mouth. He is very fast and often likes to race other children - it’s how he gets candy for him and his sister.
They’re my babies and I will throw hands for them.
The picrew I used to make em: https://picrew.me/image_maker/207297
Hi! So I finally got on my phone so I can say thank you @lalalalivy for sending these OCs and your enthusiastic asks!!!
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the-warrior-sys · 4 years
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Hot Take
God and satan are exes and the only reason man “fell” was because satan wanted to get revenge on god (because they couldn’t agree on a color sceme for earth and there was that one time where satan just kinda fell out of heaven and god just said “by felicia”)  and corrupt his only kids, this began a bitter custody battle and god and satan decided satan got the fuck asses and god gets the golden children. 
(this would explain why homosexuality is “condemned” ((god’s stans are salty about their ship being disbanded so now they coming for blood)
(After god had jesus, satan got salty so he’s out here makin his antichrist
(little does he know some far supreme ineffables are gonna put an end to that with a tickety boo and a bee bop)
((((pleeeeeasssse don’t  take this the wrong way, i was raised christian, this was a crackhead thought, i know none of this is cannon it just makes me giggle leave me alone))))
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a-n-n-i-m-i-a · 4 years
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ANYWAY GUYS- i wrote a lolz_hax character into my fnaf AU since 2015 and because there is now a LOLZHAX (without the _ mind you and the name is ment as an acronym) in freddy in space 2....iii wanted to talk about my headcanons because i will not kill my green son. nada. 
soooo my headcanon is that lolz_hax bulid the robot we see in freddy in space 2, he named it after himself, but because he didn’t want to seem arrogant for it he hid it under the “IT’S AN ACRONYM” blanket. something that seems to be a constant theme in scottgames is that there is some kind of space/moon colony that needs some kind of robotic (or...dino...stic) assistant. i imagine my lolz_hax kind of pendleing between jobs because he’s kind of afraid to commit to anything in that regard just yet- but bulding a robot for a space organisation? WOULD SOUND GREAT TO HIM! I MEAN- ANIMDUDE CAN CREATE CHARACTERS SO CREATING ROBOTS SHOULD BE A BLAST FOR HIM! 
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h o w eve r things go wrong when the robots starts to snap during his first mission (the mission we saw in freddy in space 2)
now- lolz used a old-TV screen for his...well face. and what is a big part of TV? celebs and stars. so, next to freddy’s crew (that- well must be quite populair after the things they have done in the fnaf world universe aka SAVING THE WORLD) lolzhax kidnapped a bunch of old and new faces from TV and brainwashed them too. 
now- i already gave dawko and matpat roles in the fnaf world universe.
dawko is the hoast of a famous talk-show, and matpat is a....police officer actually but he did got famous after he INSISTED william afton had something to do with the missing children incident and the disapprearence of his own wife, and going against william’s “crying husband” sceme, offending many people in the process, that claimed that he’s the proof for the fact that policemen become more and more insensitive. later he was known for making investigations regarding the mysterious disappearence of scott cawthon. WHICH BRINGS US TO OUT NEXT CANIDATE- ANIMTIDDY. animdude’s face used to be plastered ALL over fnaf world, he used to be the face of “the powerful organic being” that was going to stomp robots into the ground. he didn’t give that title to himself though, he was exploided pretty badly. when all of this started he was 15 years old after all.
nooow- tbh mark doesn’t have a role in my fnaf world AU jet. IF YOU HAVE IDEAS FEEL FREE TO WRITE ME THOSE!
but yeah- lolz_hax was proud to get a job from a space-organisation that wanted a robot that could escort people around the galaxy, but he only made a famous-person-kidnapper by making the robot itself out of a TV-screen. CLASSIC LOLZ. LOL.
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ramajmedia · 5 years
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10 Jokes From The Parks & Rec. That Have Already Aged Poorly
For six years we were totally enthralled in the behind-the-scenes look at Pawnee, Indiana's government; more specifically, the Parks and Recreation Department. With Ron Swanson and Leslie Knope leading the way, fans of the show followed a whirlwind of character development, outdated portrayals of women in the workplace, and an array of some pretty outlandish jokes.
Now, with many geniuses in the writing room and seven seasons on their belt, Parks and Rec. was a hit; but within just four years of the show's last season, some of their jokes are falling flat. What was once deemed laughable and "okay" for TV is slowly fading away. While not every fan of the show is offended by these 10 jokes, some fans have showed their disdain for them on message boards, thanks to more serious advances in our culture like the #MeToo Movement and issues revolving around green cards.
These jokes are surely up for debate among fans but they're definitely ruffling a few feathers.
10 WHEN LESLIE ASSUMES TOM'S FROM INDIA
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In the second season, we're given the episode "The Stakeout." It's date night for Ann and Mark but Leslie can't enjoy the night off because she's too upset and consumed by the fact that her BFF is going on a date with her crush. After hiding in a van for hours looking out after Ann and seeing if they can catch an intruder in the community garden, Leslie and Tom try to get to know each other more.
RELATED: Parks & Rec: 10 Episodes That Actually Tackled Deep Issues
Considering Tom is a man of color, fans are continuously upset at characters on the show of assuming Tom Haverford is from anywhere other than America simply because of his heritage. While in the back of the van, Leslie assumes he came here from "somewhere else." He tells her he was born and raised in South Carolina but she isn't satisfied with his answer and alludes to him being born elsewhere. The moral of the story here is why couldn't Tom be born in America just because his family came from somewhere else?
9 WHY IS A SEX CHANGE SEEN AS LAUGHABLE?
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Once Andy finds out that he and April have feelings for each other, he tries to win her over (regardless of that one, small kiss with Ann). However, she tries to move on with another man who speaks little English. After Andy says something to the couple, April's boyfriend asks what he said. “He says he wants to become a woman," she says, and her boyfriend dies laughing.
Uh, in what way is a sex change laughable? Although the joke was done in jest, someone being transgendered shouldn't be seen as a joke.
8 WHEN TOM WAS TREATED AS A SERVANT
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Also in the second season, the Parks and Recreation Department is gearing up to welcome visitors from Venezuela in "Sister City." According to quite a few threads, many people were offended by this episode due to the stereotypical nods and insults coming from another culture.
For starters, when the Venezuelan team arrives in Pawnee, they instantly think Tom is a servant because he's a man of color... To make things even more uncomfortable, they want to choose Donna as their female companion for the night due to her size and color as well.
Leslie, the leader of the pack, should have protected her team, but instead told Tom to be a "good host" after he was asked to collect their bags. Come on, Leslie!
7 JERRY'S RAP JOKE...
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It's not very often where Jerry offends us. The poor man is just trying to get by without drawing attention to himself. Nevertheless, in one camping episode, Tom asks Jerry, "What do Jay Z, Lil Wayne, and Drake all have in common?". In response, Jerry quickly says "Oh, I know this one... They are all rap-ists." Not only was Jerry incredibly insensitive but he was extremely judgemental. The short, quick answer is: They're all rappers, Jerry!
6 WHEN LESLIE SAYS SHE'S FOR EQUALITY BUT THEN DEGRADES A STRIPPER
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Now that Tom is finally divorced from his green-card marriage, Leslie tries to cheer him up by the only way she knows how: taking him to a strip club. And although she says she's a feminist and that her stripper name would Equality, she actually does the opposite which upset a few viewers.
After meeting Sierra (a stripper), she ignores her name and calls her Seabiscuit — even after being corrected twice. Furthermore, she tries to tell Sierra to rethink her life choices which is kind of against the whole women-support-women-thing.
5 THE FACT THAT BEN CAN'T COMPREHEND HOW JERRY LANDED GAYLE
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News flash, Ben: everyone is deserving of love!
It's understandable that Parks and Recreation wanted to show another side to Jerry, considering he was bullied every day in the office. It made fans happy knowing he had a wife and three girls waiting for him at home every day after work.
RELATED: Parks And Rec: 5 Times Everyone Was Actually A Good Friend To Jerry (&5 Times They Were Too Mean)
As we know, Jerry isn't the most text-book attractive guy on earth, but his wife is a total bombshell. Ben (most of all) can't seem to fathom how Jerry landed such a knockout and says so multiple times throughout the seasons. "Was she temporarily blind?", he asks. "Like... was she a Russian spy and the KGB forced her to marry Jerry as a cover?", he says another time. Fans found his reactions harsh because it plays into the stigma of "larger" guys not being able to find love or happiness.
4 JEAN-RALPHIO'S SCEMES DIDN'T MAKE EVERYONE LAUGH
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Jean-Ralphio. Fans either love him or hate him. As Tom Haverford's best friend, Jean-Ralphio seems to always have a 'get rich quick' scheme. He's a con artist of sorts and everyone can see this except for his father who refuses to believe his children are life suckers.
RELATED: 5 Things Parks & Rec Does Better Than The Office (& Vice Versa)
While many fans are offended by Ralphio, he crosses the line when he sees Ben conversing with Chris. "Are you ding dongs making fake drugs for sophomores, because if true, this guy wants in!" he says. Fans always knew Jean-Ralphio was greasy but to become a fake drug dealer for kids? Too far, man.
3 April's Gay Jokes Fall Flat
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April is a very dark person who speaks in a monotone voice day-in and day-out, but she is low-key accepting deep down. Early on we find out that April is in a relationship with two gay men. Fans of the show figured April was "allowed" to get away with some of her demeaning jokes because she was in a polyamorous relationship, but that's not always respectful.
After inviting Ben out one night, he declines due to having a date. "Oh, what's his name?" April replies, which insinuates Ben is gay and she's poking fun at him for it. Likewise, Tom also drops some "jokes" about his metrosexuality — especially when he was opening his store, Rent-a-Swag. "We're not even close to being ready, they're not even done painting that sign. It says 'Tom's bi.' Actually, no that's a good sign." The offense with Tom's joke is that those who are bi or gay love fashion and are more likely to shop, which is another stereotype.
2 WHEN THE BEAUTY PAGEANT IS JUDGED BY MEN WHO ONLY CARE ABOUT ONE THING
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In "Beauty Pageant," Pawnee is hosting a local beauty pageant to award the winner with a cash-prize. Due to needing money, April decides to join and Leslie praises her for it because she's not the "average" beauty. After hearing there's a pageant in town, Tom rushes to his phone to make some calls to try and become a judge.
RELATED: Parks & Rec: April Ludgate’s 10 Most Badass Quotes
Not only is he insensitive to another culture while trying to increase his personal gain ("Just bump that clown, tell them they already have an Asian judge"), but he's also a creep and confirms what most male judges think. Excited by the news of being a judge, he tells Leslie, "I had to make some favors. But if you don't make some favors to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades then what the [heck] are you calling favors for?" *Sigh*
1 The LGBTQ+ Community Was Not Pleased With The Penguin Episode
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In the very first episode of season two, Leslie decides to marry two penguins at the Pawnee Zoo because she thought it was a cute gesture. After it turned out the two penguins were male, Leslie was thrown into a 'do you or don't you support gay rights' screaming match. Unfortunately, the LGBTQ+ communtity was upset that Leslie never took a strong stance. She only wanted the attention of the gay community because they were chanting her name. While at a gay bar, April chimes in, "She’s Leslie Knope and she wants to recruit you!”, which plays right into the stereotype that young gays "recruit" others instead of accepting the fact that they were born that way.
NEXT: Parks And Rec: 5 Reasons We Want To Work For The Pawnee Parks And Recreation Department (& 5 We Don't)
source https://screenrant.com/10-jokes-parks-rec-already-aged-poorly/
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