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#he doesn't have facebook either
likeabxrdinflight · 3 months
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I miss being like sixteen and emotionally unintelligent to the point it was acceptable to be jealous of your crush's partner in extremely petty and unimportant ways, or to be unreasonably mad at said crush for not liking you back. because in your thirties that is neither cute nor socially acceptable.
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elenadoeslife · 10 months
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your first love hits different
#another day another vent-in-the-tags post#i came across a picture of me and my fiest boyfriend of five years today. picture must've been 10 years old at this point#found many more pictures of him and us on my dad's old pc#i can just feel my body pull and heart ache when i look at him in the pictures#wondering what my life would've looked like if i hadn't broken things off between us#we tried to stay friends and a couple of months later we went for a drink. when daying goodbye he moved in to kiss me#i was hesitant and stepped away. he couldn't bare having me in his life while not being together so he cut off all contact#don't get me wrong in any of my thoughts- i love babe whole heartedly and he's the only man for me now and in my future#it's just that nagging feeling burried deep. the 'what if's. what if i felt more confident about my body back then?#what if i hadn't moved on so quickly? what if i had let him kiss me?#i tried texting him telling him i was approved for gbp surgery (i broke things off because i was very insecure about my body)#he congratulated me and sincerely wished me all the happiness in the world but also asked me not to contact him again after this#it's been 7-ish years but every now and then i wonder how he's doing and what he's up to#he doesn't really have social media apart from facebook (and that page is private) and i only stayed in touch with his former best friend#but i'm not gonna ask him because i know they haven't spoken in years either#i've had plenty more relationships after him but i rarely ever think about those guys#am i okay? is this normal? lol#i should get my head out of this rabbit hole asap#add: the picture is almost 15 years old lol. my math ain't mathing. we met in 2009. not that it's important#i think i just moved on too quickly and didn't allow myself time & space to grieve. that's why he keeps popping up in my thoughts now & then
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yesyourstalker · 7 months
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This is experimental with my dialogue. I hope it's not too confusing because it takes place in two different locations. Separate from each other
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Candie: They're getting! Ahhhhhh!! Guys guys look what Neta posted!! 'We finally had the conversation and I'm happy to say that ikkan and I are formally engaged. Let hope we live a long and happy life together. Love you ikkan xoxo!!!!!' Ahhhhhh I knew it I knew it I manifested it and it worked!!!
Mizole: would you calm down... You're acting like it's your wedding
Candie: can it shrimp dick!......... Look at the ring!! Oh I'm going to cry!!!
Mahi:.... What!? Oh my god they're engaged! I didn't know that, I'm just learning this now!!.... those are nice looking rings!! I'm happy for them!
Warabi: I know right! I almost threw my coffee out of the car when I saw the post! I can't believe it! My male wife bandmate and my work husband are getting married I feel so betrayed!!...... You're a shit actor mahi
Mahi: fuck you....... So how are we doing this? Are we going to pretend like you don't know when he comes in or are we just going to congratulate him?
Candie: well he already made it public so I say we congratulate him! Mmmmm!! I'm so happy b4b is real!!
Mizole: b4b??
Mahi: bass 4 bass It was a ship name given to them when fans started to speculate that they were dating during and after squid squad
Mizole: hm.... that's stupid
Neta: morning guys! I'm assuming you guys know the big news about me
Candie: ooooo congratulations!!
Neta: oh *oof* hehehe candie!!......Thank you!
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Nami: he's reengaged!...
Murasaki: yeah I saw!.... I can't believe he's actually doing this!
Ichiya: ........... That's great let's hope they actually get married this time....cod knows we don't need post break up ikkan again
Nami: awww look at the picture he posted... I've never seen ikkan smile that big before!!! Ohhh... ' we are finally making the commitment. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you' awww!
Murasaki: should we call him? Maybe we should wait for him to join the call.
Ichiya: maybe we should wait
Nami: no we're calling him..... I just sent the request.
Ikkan: hey guy..... I think I know why you're calling
All three of them: congratulations!!
Ikkan: heh thanks
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Candie: sooooo tell us! How did you propose? Did you propose? Did he propose?? Uhh!! tell me! tell me right now!
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Nami: so who asked who? Was it planned like a dinner and nice date? Tell us.
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Neta: well... Kinda.... we had a conversation and I asked if he still wanted to get married... He said yes so the next day I proposed and he said yes... It was very private.... kinda intimate really
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Ikkan: technology he proposed in the middle of the night when we were about to go to sleep.... he just asked if marriage was something I still wanted and I said yes. When we got home he did the actual proposal..... It was nice
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Candie: please tell me are you guys thinking about.... spring weeding!? Oh a wedding in the fall?! what location are you thinking of getting? Oh they have this lovely little rock area in octo canyon It's such a pretty view!!
Warabi: please tell us we're going to the wedding at least
Neta:................. uhh the thing is
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Murasaki: so you already doing wedding planning? I know a nice venue outside of the city surrounded by nature real pretty places.
Nami: what's the color scheme going to be? Do we have to change our ink color because I have a box of ink dye I haven't touched in years!! it's like bluish green I might use it for the wedding maybe.
Ichiya: are we at least going to be a part of it?
Ikkan:...... um
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT HAVING A WEDDING!!!
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Neta: it just feels like too much of a hassle to do right now. I already have too much on my plate I don't need more..... We were just going to the court house to sigh some things and be on our way.
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Ikkan: it just seems like a lot of unnecessary stress that we don't need at the moment
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Mahi: so you're not going to have a wedding? No wedding bells? No family gathering, rice throwing and people honking and waving as speed off to your honeymoon?
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Nami: you're not going to walk up and down the aisle together?? No trying on suits or- or the emotional first look of each other during the day of your wedding??
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Warabi: what about a wedding cake please tell me you were planning on buying a cake at least??
Candie: netta please I know you told me that your first wedding wasn't the greatest but this could be your do over!... Just imagine! During your first dance, you're both looking at each other gazing into each other's eyes. Suddenly everyone in the room doesn't exist and it's just you two in each other's arms. Celebrating this wonderful day. That's all about you two..... I remember during my wedding-
Mahi and Warabi: You're married!!
Mizole: who the fuck wanted to marry you??
Candie: shut the fuck up All of you!!!
Mahi: this is a genuine question and please don't take it as an offense. How old are you? You look good. You look great! I'm just..... I'm just curious. I didn't know you were married
Mizole: He has to be hearing impaired to deal with that voice.
Candie: shove it!!
{arguing in the background}
Neta:........... You put it like that
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Murasaki: I mean it's really really all up to you guys and you know it's what you want to do at the end of the day but I think maybe you should try to have a small ceremony maybe?.... I think it would be nice to be surrounded by loved ones celebrating your love for each other. To be there and support you. That sounds really nice
Ichiya: and y'all worked hard for this relationship I don't see the harm in celebrating just a little bit......... even broke up a band because of it
Murasaki: really
Nami: Oh my god are you serious, you're still hooked up on that!!!!
Ichiya: what am I wrong!!? Did they not?!! Out of all the people he could have fucked he had to choose our -
Nami: ichiya!! Please!
Murasaki: can you be mature for once in your life?
{argument over FaceTime}
Ikkan:....... .......Well... That does sound nice.
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Neta: hey babe... Sorry for calling early in the morning
Ikkan: It's okay. I was going to call you anyway.... I was thinking about marriage stuff
Neta: yeah me too............ Maybe we can have a wedding. Something nice you know just for pictures and ..............family.
Ikkan: yeah that would be nice. I like that..... You know where camp triggerfish is. There's a venue over there...... It's an underground greenhouse they have glass on the ceiling so natural light shines in.. it's lights up the whole room naturally. It's really nice.... A lot of plants. It's really pretty.. Maybe we can look around there..
Neta: you know there's a place up near the canyon. Might have a reception over there. It's a beautiful view. We can make a day out of it. Maybe call up the wedding planner and see what we can do.
Ikkan: let's not rush it though. We have a couple years. Plenty of time to plan this out. Maybe it doesn't have to be small...... Maybe we should elope first and then have the wedding?
Neta: you want to elope just get out of the way say the vows and I do's in the courthouse and then have a wedding? We can arrange for that
Ikkan: yeah I don't see why not...mmmmm actually no I do want to wait. I want to do it at the wedding... I wanted to be real..... Ugh I have to go my old band needs are having an argument..... Where was all this tension when I was there? I love you bye
Neta: hehehe.... They didn't fight because you kept them together...... Okay, that sounds like a nice plan. We'll talk later I love you too bye .............. What are you kids screaming about? Stop you're scaring the customers!
Mizole: she started it!!
Candie: no I didn't!! You're The one who started it !!
Mizole: you're the one who's started it with your harpy screeching!
Customer: excuse me?
Candie: Mahi!! Do something!
Mahi: I mean you did threaten violence
Warabi: dude he clearly started it!
Customer: excuse me?
Mahi: what! I'm just defineding my boyfriend!
Warabi: there's nothing too defined he's an asshole!
Mizole: don't you have a toilet to clean Richie Rich
Neta: ok if this keeps up he's banned or worse!! *Knuckle crack*
Mahi: Neta what the fuck!? I can't fight people but you can!!
Candie: kick his ass!
Mizole: cod your voice is grading!......watch yourself old man don't want your blood sugar to rise you're a diabetic!
Neta: oh just try me you little troll!
Mizole: bet old man!
Customer: excuse me!
Every one: WHAT?!
Customer: you got Baribari merch
Neta:............ No we don't have Baribari merch! If we didn't have it yesterday why the hell would we have it today?!
Warabi: who the fuck even listens to that shit!
Mizole: no one they're terrible! What is wrong with you!!
Candie: you come in here every day and don't buy anything!
Mahi: you come in to this store don't buy shit you have a terrible taste in music and you smell like dish water!! Get the fuck out!! Honestly!
Warabi: thank you!!
Candie: please leave....
Mizole: could you believe that guy. Real asshole
Neta: right?!... Fucking hell....
Mahi was last spotted leaving @fish-at-fish-fish-resort 's house
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born-to-lose · 6 months
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Aggressively promoting the bar where I work on all my social media
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eats-the-stars · 1 year
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my dad trying to literally defend white supremacy to me like i would ever say ‘yeah that sounds great’ and everything he says makes it clear he has no idea what he’s saying. he’s like ‘i’m a white guy so any anti white supremacy is a personal attack against me’ and...no. that is not how this fucking works. the woke left is not trying to attack you dad. sorry to break this to you but you’re not important enough for that. you’re a retired, socially awkward man who has no platform, no great wealth, and no role in government or law enforcement or literally anything due to the retirement thing, and before that you were a radiology tech in a hospital, aka person in the basement who does not even see people. how would they even take anything away from you, you don’t have shit. you can’t be voted out of power you don’t have or “deprived” of wealth you don’t have, or even just roasted on social media when you have like 20 followers who are all directly related to you. you have no power, influence, or wealth. i promise you that the woke left does not even know you exist and do not care that you are...grilling in your backyard and trying to decide if we need to replace the kitchen chairs. also had to explain that the position of the woke left is less “we want to hurt YOU, white men of the world” and more “please stop hurting US and making laws that hurt us and maybe consider giving us some basic human rights please.”
#my dad is racist but it is mostly just irritating#because again. no power no wealth no influence#not to be mean but he doesn't really have friends either#he is a lonely guy living on the island that is our house#he cannot handle any kind of confrontation either and is unfailingly polite out in the world#even when he's expressing his racist views to us you can really tell he is super insecure about it#and is only able to voice his thoughts to his closest family members#or people that he is 100% sure agree with him#like they have to be talking about it already#i don't even know where he is getting this shit is he listening to some radio station? facebook?#i have half a mind to disable those if this continues#or figure out which stations/media he's getting this from and block his access#he is mildly tech savvy but if i really put in the effort i think i can do it#it's just...he needs to not even think about politics or the economy or ethics#because he's dumb as shit about it#the rich white guys are not on your side dad you are a money-spending little bug to them nothing more#they would spit on you for $10#i think it's mostly the fact that he has never had to face being a member of any group that is hated/oppressed by the system#so he is like 'i MUST protect the system no matter what'#and it's like...the system is not protecting you on purpose it is doing so by default and it does not love you back#i am literally in 3 different fucking oppressed categories i cannot pretend that the system loves me it does not#i don't understand how people can just cast aside all logic in favor of the most evil position#everyone out there having fucking moral dilemmas#not me#white supremacy is clearly evil cut that shit out. done.#so sick of being like 'human rights...good. killing minorities...bad.'#like what is not fucking clicking here?
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feralrabidcrow · 3 months
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Mercs with Access to Internet
Scout: He would be a content creator who just makes whatever he feels like without any consistency. His uploads would be like:
Rooftop Parkour
Pokemon Smash or Pass
I Made A Mistake. (Addressing the Pokemon Video Controversy)
Tom Jones Songs Tierlist
Minecraft Let's Play
Soldier: He makes political rant videos but no one can figure out what his actual political opinions or leanings are. He just kind of spews buzzwords and 'America' a lot while sounding very passionate. A bunch of people assume he's a parody account making fun of actual political rant channels but no it's just Soldier being Soldier.
Pyro: They make TikTok dance videos. In every single video something in the background is on fire. Occasionally you'll hear "Damnit, damnit damnit!" and see Engineer rush in with a fire extinguisher.
Demo: He makes one video tutorial on how to make a pipe bomb, gets all his accounts suspended, and ends up on a hundred different lists.
Engineer: He would be one of those YouTube engineers like 'Michael Reeves' or 'i did a thing' who makes horrible abominations of machinery and technology. His viewers never know whether to be impressed, horrified, or a healthy mix of both.
Heavy: He doesn't ever post anything anywhere but he likes to watch a lot of videos on guns. He also subscribes to cooking channels for new ideas.
Medic: Aggressively spreads misinformation online. Not just medical misinformation, anything. He isn't lazy about it either. He puts genuine effort into making his lies as convincing and believable as possible. He is actively trying to make people less educated. If you ask him about it he'll claim it's a social experiment but he's just doing this for his own amusement.
Sniper: All of his accounts are on private and have like 3 followers. He uses Facebook to keep in contact with his parents and that's pretty much it.
Spy: Doxxes people he disagrees with.
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secretgamergirl · 5 months
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How a Computer Works - Part 1 (Components)
I am about to teach you on a real fundamental, connecting up electronic components level, how a computer actually works. Before I get into the meat of this though (you can just skip down below the fold if you don't care), here's the reasons I'm sitting doing so in this format:
Like a decade or two ago, companies Facebook pushed this whole "pivot to video" idea on the whole internet with some completely faked data, convincing everyone that everything had to be a video, and we need to start pushing back against that. Especially for stuff like complex explanations of things or instructions, it's much more efficient to just explain things clearly in text, maybe with some visual aids, so people can easily search, scan, and skip around between sections. It's also a hell of a lot easier to host things long term, and you can even print out a text based explainer and not need a computer to read it, keep it on a desk, highlight it, etc.
People are so clueless about how computers actually work that they start really thinking like it's all magical. Even programmers. Aside from how proper knowledge lets you get more out of them, this leads to people spouting off total nonsense about "teaching sand to think" or "everything is just 1s and 0s" or "this 'AI' a con artist who was trying to sell me NFTs a month ago probably really is an amazing creative thinking machine that can do everything he says!"
We used to have this cultural value going where it was expected that if you owned something and used it day to day, you'd have enough basic knowledge of how it worked that if it stopped working you could open it up, see what was wrong, and maybe fix it on your own, or maybe even put one together again from scratch, and that's obviously worth bringing back.
I'm personally working on a totally bonkers DIY project and I'd like to hype up like-minded people for when it gets farther along.
So all that said, have a standard reminder that I am completely reliant on Patreon donations to survive, keep updating this blog, and ideally start getting some PCBs and chips and a nice oscilloscope to get that mystery project off the ground.
Electricity probably doesn't work like how you were taught (and my explanation shouldn't be trusted too far either).
I remember, growing up, hearing all sorts of things about electricity having this sort of magical ability to always find the shortest possible path to where it needs to get, flowing like water, and a bunch of other things that are kind of useful for explaining how a Faraday cage or a lightning rod works, and not conflicting with how simple electronics will have a battery and then a single line of wire going through like a switch and a light bulb or whatever back to the other end of the battery.
If you had this idea drilled into your head hard enough, you might end up thinking that if we have a wire hooked to the negative end of a battery stretching off to the east, and another wire stretching off to the east from the positive end, and we bridge between the two in several places with an LED or something soldered to both ends, only the westernmost one is going to light up, because hey, the shortest path is the one that turns off as quickly as possible to connect to the other side, right? Well turns out no, all three are going to light up, because that "shortest path" thing is a total misunderstanding.
Here's how it actually works, roughly. If you took basic high school chemistry, you learned about how the periodic table is set up, right? A given atom, normally, has whatever number of protons in the core, and the same number of electrons, whipping all over around it, being attracted to those protons but repelled by each other, and there's particular counts of electrons which are super chill with that arrangement so we put those elements in the same column as each other, and then as you count up from those, you get the elements between those either have some electrons that don't fit all tight packed in the tight orbit and just kinda hang out all wide and lonely and "want to" buddy up with another atom that has more room, up to the half full column that can kinda go either way, then as we approach the next happy number they "want to" have a little more company to get right to that cozy tight packed number, and when you have "extra" electrons and "missing" electrons other atoms kinda cozy up and share so they hit those good noble gas counts.
I'm sure real experts want to scream at me for both that and this, but this is basically how electricity works. You have a big pile of something at the "positive" end that's "missing electrons" (for the above reason or maybe actually ionized so they really aren't there), and a "negative" end that's got spares. Then you make wires out of stuff from those middle of the road elements that have awkward electron counts and don't mind buddying up (and also high melting points and some other handy qualities) and you hook those in there. And the electron clouds on all the atoms in the wire get kinda pulled towards the positive side because there's more room over there, but if they full on leave their nucleus needs more electron pals, so yeah neighbors get pulled over, and the whole wire connected to the positive bit ends up with a positive charge to it, and the whole wire on the negative bit is negatively charged, and so yeah, anywhere you bridge the gap between the two, the electrons are pretty stoked about balancing out these two big awkward compromises and they'll start conga lining over to balance things out, and while they're at it they'll light up lights or shake speakers or spin motors or activate electromagnets or whatever other rad things you've worked out how to make happen with a live electric current.
Insulators, Resistors, Waves, and Capacitors
Oh and we typically surround these wires made of things that are super happy about sharing electrons around with materials that are very much "I'm good, thanks," but this isn't an all or nothing system and there's stuff you can connect between the positive and negative ends of things that still pass the current along, but only so much so fast. We use those to make resistors, and those are handy because sometimes you don't want to put all the juice you have through something because it would damage it, and having a resistor anywhere along a path you're putting current through puts a cap on that flow, and also sometimes you might want a wire connected to positive or negative with a really strong resistor so it'll have SOME sort of default charge, but if we get a free(r) flowing connection attached to that wire somewhere else that opens sometimes, screw that little trickle going one way, we're leaning everyone the other way for now.
The other thing with electricity is is that the flow here isn't a basic yes/no thing. How enthusiastically those electrons are getting pulled depends on the difference in charge at the positive and negative ends, and also if you're running super long wires then even if they conduct real good, having all that space to spread along is going to kinda slow things to a trickle, AND the whole thing is kinda going to have some inherent bounciness to it both because we're dealing with electrons whipping and spinning all over and because, since it's a property that's actually useful for a lot of things we do with electricity, the power coming out of the wall has this intentional wobbly nature because we've actually got this ridiculous spinny thing going on that's constantly flip flopping which prong of the socket is positive and which is negative and point is we get these sine waves of strength by default, and they kinda flop over if we're going really far.
Of course there's also a lot of times when you really want to not have your current flow flickering on and off all the time, but hey fortunately one of the first neat little electronic components we ever worked out are capacitors... and look, I'm going to be straight with you. I don't really get capacitors, but the basic idea is you've got two wires that go to big wide plates, and between those you have something that doesn't conduct the electricity normally, but they're so close the electromagnetic fields are like vibing, and then if you disconnect them from the flow they were almost conducting and/or they get charged to their limit, they just can't deal with being so charged up and they'll bridge their own gap and let it out. So basically you give them electricity to hold onto for a bit then pass along, and various sizes of them are super handy if you want to have a delay between throwing a switch and having things start doing their thing, or keeping stuff going after you break a connection, or you make a little branching path where one branch connects all regular and the other goes through a capacitor, and the electricity which is coming in in little pulses effectively comes out as a relatively steady stream because every time it'd cut out the capacity lets its charge go.
We don't just have switches, we have potentiometers.
OK, so... all of the above is just sort of about having a current and maybe worrying about how strong it is, but other than explaining how you can just kinda have main power rails running all over, and just hook stuff across them all willy-nilly rather than being forced to put everything in one big line, but still, all you can do with that is turn the whole thing on and off by breaking the circuit. Incidentally, switches, buttons, keys, and anything else you use to control the behavior of any electronic device really are just physically touching loose wires together or pulling them apart... well wait no, not all, this is a good bit to know.
None of this is actually pass/fail, really, there's wave amplitudes and how big a difference we have between the all. So when you have like, a volume knob, that's a potentiometer, which is a simple little thing where you've got your wire, it's going through a resistor, and then we have another wire we're scraping back and forth along the resistor, using a knob, usually, and the idea is the current only has to go through X percent of the resistor to get to the wire you're moving, which proportionately reduces the resistance. So you have like a 20 volt current, you've got a resistor that'll drop that down to 5 or so, but then you move this other wire down along and you've got this whole dynamic range and you can fine tune it to 15 or 10 or whatever coming down that wire. And what's nice about this again, what's actually coming down the wire is this wobbily wave of current, it's not really just "on" or "off, and as you add resistance, the wobble stays the same, it's just the peaks and valleys get closer to being just flat. Which is great if you're making, say, a knob to control volume, or brightness, or anything you want variable intensity in really.
Hey hey, it's a relay!
Again, a lot of the earliest stuff people did with electronics was really dependent on that analog wobbly waveform angle. Particularly for reproducing sound, and particularly the signals of a telegraph. Those had to travel down wires for absurd distances, and as previously stated, when you do that the signal is going to eventually decay to nothing. But then someone came up with this really basic idea where every so often along those super long wires, you set something up that takes the old signal and uses it to start a new one. They called them relays, because you know, it's like a relay race.
If you know how an electromagnet works (something about the field generated when you coil a bunch of copper wire around an iron core and run an electric current through it), a relay is super simple. You've got an electromagnet in the first circuit you're running, presumably right by where it's going to hit the big charged endpoint, and that magnetically pulls a tab of metal that's acting as a switch on a new circuit. As long as you've got enough juice left to activate the magnet, you slam that switch and voom you've got all the voltage you can generate on the new line.
Relays don't get used too much in other stuff, being unpopular at the time for not being all analog and wobbily (slamming that switch back and forth IS going to be a very binary on or off sorta thing), and they make this loud clacking noise that's actually just super cool to hear in devices that do use them (pinball machines are one of the main surviving use cases I believe) but could be annoying in some cases. What's also neat is that they're a logical AND gate. That is, if you have current flowing into the magnet, AND you have current flowing into the new wire up to the switch, you have it flowing out through the far side of the switch, but if either of those isn't true, nothing happens. Logic gates, to get ahead of myself a bit, are kinda the whole thing with computers, but we still need the rest of them. So for these purposes, relays re only neat if it's the most power and space efficient AND gate you have access to.
Oh and come to think of it, there's no reason we need to have that magnet closing the circuit when it's doing its thing. We could have it closed by default and yank it open by the magnet. Hey, now we're inverting whatever we're getting on the first wire! Neat!
Relay computers clack too loud! Gimme vacuum tubes!
So... let's take a look at the other main thing people used electricity for before coming up with the whole computer thing, our old friend the light bulb! Now I already touched a bit on the whole wacky alternating current thing, and I think this is actually one of the cases that eventually lead to it being adopted so widely, but the earliest light bulbs tended to just use normal direct current, where again, you've got the positive end and the negative end, and we just take a little filament of whatever we have handy that glows when you run enough of a current through it, and we put that in a big glass bulb and pump out all the air we can, because if we don't, the oxygen in there is probably going to change that from glowing a bit to straight up catching on fire and burning immediately.
But, we have a new weird little problem, because of the physics behind that glowing. Making something hot, on a molecular level, is just kinda adding energy to the system so everything jitters around more violently, and if you get something hot enough that it glows, you're getting it all twitchy enough for tinier particles to just fly the hell off it. Specifically photons, that's the light bit, but also hey, remember, electrons are just kinda free moving and whipping all over looking for their naked proton pals... and hey, inside this big glass bulb, we've got that other end of the wire with the more positive charge to it. Why bother wandering up this whole coily filament when we're in a vacuum and there's nothing to get in the way if we just leap straight over that gap? So... they do that, and they're coming in fast and on elliptical approaches and all, so a bunch of electrons overshoot and smack into the glass on the far side, and now one side of every light bulb is getting all gross and burnt from that and turning all brown and we can't have that.
So again, part of the fix is we switched to alternating current so it's at least splitting those wild jumps up to either side, but before that, someone tried to solve this by just... kinda putting a backboard in there. Stick a big metal plate on the end of another wire in the bulb connected to a positive charge, and now OK, all those maverick electrons smack into here and aren't messing up the glass, but also hey, this is a neat little thing. Those electrons are making that hop because they're all hot and bothered. If we're not heating up the plate they're jumping to, and there's no real reason we'd want to, then if we had a negative signal over on that side... nothing would happen. Electrons aren't getting all antsy and jumping back.
So now we have a diode! The name comes because we have two (di-) electrodes (-ode) we care about in the bulb (we're just kind of ignoring the negative one), and it's a one way street for our circuit. That's useful for a lot of stuff, like not having electricity flow backwards through complex systems and mess things up, converting AC to DC (when it flips, current won't flow through the diode so we lop off the bottom of the wave, and hey, we can do that thing with capacitors to release their current during those cutoffs, and if we're clever we can get a pretty steady high).
More electrodes! More electrodes!
So a bit after someone worked out this whole vacuum tube diode thing, someone went hey, what if it was a triode? So, let's stick another electrode in there, and this one just kinda curves around in the middle, just kinda making a grate or a mesh grid, between our hot always flowing filament and that catch plate we're keeping positively charged when it's doing stuff. Well this works in a neat way. If there's a negative charge on it, it's going to be pushing back on those electrons jumping over, and if there's a positive charge on it, it's going to help pull those electrons over (it's all thin, so they're going to shoot right past it, especially if there's way more of a positive charge over on the plate... and here's the super cool part- This is an analog thing. If we have a relatively big negative charge, it's going to repel everything, if it's a relatively big positive, it's going to pull a ton across, if it's right in the middle, it's like it wasn't even in there, and you can have tiny charges for all the gradients in between.
We don't need a huge charge for any of this though, because we're just helping or hindering the big jump from the high voltage stuff, and huh, weren't we doing this whole weak current controlling a strong current thing before with the relay? We were! And this is doing the same thing! Except now we're doing it all analog style, not slapping switch with a magnet, and we can make those wavy currents peak higher or lower and cool, now we can have phone lines boost over long distances too, and make volume knobs, and all that good stuff.
The relay version of this had that cool trick though where you could flip the output. Can we still flip the output? We sure can, we just need some other toys in the mix. See we keep talking about positive charges and negative charges at the ends of our circuits, but these are relative things. I mentioned way back when how you can use resistors to throttle how much of a current we've got, so you can run two wires to that grid in the triode. One connects to a negative charge and the other positive, with resistors on both those lines, and a switch that can break the connection on the positive end. If the positive is disconnected, we've got a negative charge on the grid, since it's all we've got, but if we connect it, and the resistor to the negative end really limits flow, we're positive in the section the grid's in. And over on the side with the collecting plate, we branch off with another resistor setup so the negative charge on that side is normally the only viable connection for a positive, but when we flip the grid to positive, we're jumping across the gap in the vacuum tube, and that's a big open flow so we'll just take those electrons instead of the ones that have to squeeze through a tight resistor to get there.
That explanation is probably a bit hard to follow because I'm over here trying to explain it based on how the electrons are actually getting pulled around. In the world of electronics everyone decided to just pretend the flow is going the other way because it makes stuff easier to follow. So pretend we have magical positrons that go the other way and if they have nothing better to do they go down the path where we have all the fun stuff further down the circuit lighting lights and all that even though it's a tight squeeze through a resistor, because there's a yucky double negative in the triode and that's worse, but we have the switch rigged up to make that a nice positive go signal to the resistance free promised land with a bonus booster to cut across, so we're just gonna go that way when the grid signal's connected.
Oh and you can make other sorts of logic circuits or double up on them in a single tube if you add more grids and such, which we did for a while, but not really relevant these days.
Cool history lesson but I know there's no relays or vacuum tubes in my computer.
Right, so the above things are how we used to make computers, but they were super bulky, and you'd have to deal with how relays are super loud and kinda slow, and vacuum tubes need a big power draw and get hot. What we use instead of either of those these days are transistors. See after spending a good number of years working out all this circuit flow stuff with vacuum tubes we eventually focused on how the real important thing in all of this is how with the right materials you can make a little juncture where current flows between a positive and negative charge if a third wire going in there is also positively charged, but if it's negatively charged we're pulling over. And turns out there is a WAY more efficient way of doing that if you take a chunk of good ol' middle of the electron road silicon, and just kinda lightly paint the side of it with just the tiniest amount of positive leaning and negative leaning elements on the sides.
Really transistors don't require understanding anything new past the large number of topics already covered here, they're just more compact about it. Positive leaning bit, negative leaning bit, wildcard in the middle, like a vacuum tube. Based on the concepts of pulling electrons around from chemistry, like a circuit in general. The control wire in the middle kinda works in just a pass-fail sort of way, like a relay. They're just really nice compared to the older alternatives because they don't make noise or have moving parts to wear down, you don't have to run enough current through them for metal to start glowing and the whole room to heat up, and you can make them small. Absurdly small. Like... need an electron microscope to see them small.
And of course you can also make an inverter super tiny like that, and a diode (while you're at it you can use special materials or phosphors to make them light emitting, go LEDs!) and resistors can get pretty damn small if you just use less of a more resistant material, capacitors I think have a limit to how tiny you can get, practically, but yeah, you now know enough of the basic fundamentals of how computers work to throw some logic gates together. We've covered how a relay, triode, or transistor function as an AND gate. An OR gate is super easy, you just stick diodes on two wires so you don't have messy backflow then connect them together and lead off there. If you can get your head around wiring up an inverter (AKA NOT), hey, stick one after an AND to get a NAND, or an OR to get a NOR. You can work out XOR and XNOR from there right? Just build 4 NANDs, pass input A into gates 1 and 2, B into 2 and 3, 2's output into 1 and 3, 1 and 3's output into 4 for a XOR, use NORs instead for a XNOR. That's all of them right? So now just build a ton of those and arrange them into a computer. It's all logic and math from there.
Oh right. It's... an absurd amount of logic and math, and I can only fit so many words in a blog post. So we'll have to go all...
CONTINUED IN PART 2!
Meanwhile, again, if you can spare some cash I'd really appreciate it.
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ginnsbaker · 14 days
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fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (7/?)
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Part summary: Six weeks later, Leigh decides to throw herself a birthday party.
Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader | Word count for this part: 6.600+ | Warnings : None | Author's Note: Just a reminder that this doesn't strictly follow canon events. Borrowed some elements from the actual birthday episode, but it's going to go very differently for us :) Enjoy!
Masterlist | Part I Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI
-
Six weeks later
“Hey! Happy birthday, sweetheart!” Leigh’s mom calls out from the kitchen as Leigh hurries down the stairs. She runs straight into Amy’s arms, a ball of energy, drawing bewildered looks from her mom and sister. Ever since Matt died, they are used to Leigh either being too quiet or too snarky. Today, of all days, they were expecting her to be something else much worse. But it seems they're mistaken as Leigh turns to Jules, yanks her in close, and kisses her hair.
Jules and Amy share a look. To say this as an interesting development would be an understatement. It's her birthday—her first one without Matt, who had been at the heart of her celebrations for the last decade. They hope Leigh finds some happiness, truly, but these past several months have taught them to temper their expectations.
They keep their silent exchange to themselves, watching as Leigh picks up a croissant and takes a heart bite out of it, her face lit up with the widest smile. “Happy birthday,” Jules grins, pushing a small envelope towards Leigh. “Got something for you.”
“Thank you!” Leigh exclaims. She eagerly opens the envelope to find a bunch of homemade coupons, each promising some sort of favor from Jules, good for the next year. They range from “Will listen to your rants for 30 minutes, no interruptions” to “I will restart the book club you tried to get me and mom to do and actually read the books this time.”
Laughing, Leigh flips through them. “These are brilliant, Jules. Might have to use one today,” she says, already thinking about which one she'll cash in first. Then, she pulls Jules in a bear hug, as if it’s the most exquisite present she’s ever gotten in her lifetime. 
“You okay?” Leigh asks when she notices Amy staring at her.
Jules gives their mom a warning look as Amy struggles to come up with a response. “Nothing, I just… I didn’t think you’d be doing quite so well today. That’s all.”
“I didn’t either but we all make choices and I’m choosing to have a great birthday. So, let’s do this thing!” Leigh says in a manner that Jules feels too over the top. Amy starts laying out the plans for the evening and Leigh has a blank look by the time she finishes running them through it.
“I think I want a party,” Leigh announces. It’s met with astonishment, as if it’s the last thing her family’s expecting to hear.
“You do?” Amy.
“A party?” Jules.
Leigh isn’t perturbed by their reactions. “I do. I want a party,” she confirms. She delights at the dumb look on their faces as she reiterates, “Tonight. I want a big party.”
-
“You’re not having a big party.”
Danny calls her up the minute he gets her Facebook invite. He's partly furious about receiving the invite through Facebook, given that they’re “kind of seeing each other”, and partly incredulous because he couldn’t believe she’s making plans on her birthday without considering the fact that they are “kind of seeing each other”.
Leigh, phone wedged between her shoulder and ear as she flips through a recipe book on her kitchen counter, rolls her eyes so hard she worries they might stick that way. 
“Well, yes, Danny, that's exactly what I'm doing,” she fires back matter-of-factly.
Danny's frustration simmers on the other end of the line. He had already made plans, not bothering to consult Leigh because he assumed that their day would be spent together—privately, just the two of them.
“You didn’t think I’d have something planned?” he asks, more hurt than angry.
“Why would I think that?”
“Because we’re dating, Leigh,” he says, appalled that he needs to remind her. Leigh takes a second, biting her lip. Maybe it was a bit inconsiderate that she didn’t consider Danny when she impulsively decided she wanted a big celebration. But that flicker of guilt is short lived. 
After all, she couldn’t remember the last time she’s actually excited for something, the last time she thought, I deserve to be happy. 
“Yeah, well, I can still do what I want, Danny,” she retorts.
“Now you’re acting like a child,” he snaps.
Leigh feels a flash of anger, then something else—determination. “Maybe so. Come to the party or not, I don’t care. I'm going to have fun, Danny, with or without you.”
“Fine. Just don’t—”
Leigh doesn’t let him finish. With a press of a button, the call ends, his words cut off mid-sentence. Too often, she’s been criticized for not always following through with her declarations, but it's a different game when she's out to prove something.
-
Drew steps carefully around a minefield of clothes and makeup scattered on the floor to get to Leigh. She's curled up over her laptop, one leg propped on the chair, chin on her knee, in a posture that makes Drew wince. “For a fitness instructor, you're not exactly a poster child for back health,” he says, announcing himself to his best friend.
Leigh's head snaps up at Drew's voice, but instead of annoyance, a smirk quickly spreads across her face. “Good thing I'm not a fitness instructor anymore, then,” she says. Then she turns her attention back to her laptop as if he’s not there. Drew moves to sit on the edge of her bed, flops down on it like a ragdoll and stares at the cobwebs on the corners of the ceiling. 
“I know what you’ve been doing, Leigh,” he says.
Leigh is unphased, keeps typing. Then, as if she’s just heard his remark, mutters a distracted, “What have I been doing?”
“Avoiding. You've been avoiding writing about anything that's even remotely related to love or grief,” Drew says.
This time, Leigh stops typing. She sighs, a long, drawn-out exhale that seems to carry the weight of the world. “I’m busy, Drew. This gig is eating up all my time.” 
After leaving the Beautiful Beast, she took on a part-time job as a remote project manager. With Matt gone, she's left to deal with the debts they racked up together. She loved her studio job, really did, and wasn't fazed by the slim paycheck because it helped her mom out. Being surrounded by family has been a huge support (despite her occasional squabbles with Jules), but she knows she'll need to move out on her own again at some point. Ultimately, the pressing need for financial stability has pushed her to seek out better-paying opportunities.
Drew straightens up, leaning in with his elbows on his knees. “Bullshit.”
Leigh looks over her shoulder at him with mild irritation. “What do you want me to say, Drew?”
“You're meeting your weekly quota on other topics,” he points out. “Makes me wonder if bringing you back to the advice column was…premature.”
It sounds like a threat, but coming from him, she understands it as an early warning in case the senior editor begins to notice the issue. Leigh smiles thinly, her brow furrowed in confusion. “Why does it even matter which topics I choose to engage with? First off, I'm collaborating with other writers now; it's not entirely my show anymore. Secondly, I've been doing a good job—”
“A great job, actually.”
Leigh tilts her head, genuinely puzzled. “So, what's the problem?”
“They're expecting you to lead on those topics because you've lived through them. They're looking for more authenticity in the pieces,” Drew explains. 
Leigh looks out the window, seemingly lost in thought, then shakes her head slightly. “What, you want me to write about how I started picking fights left and right after Matt died? Do you want me to detail my attempts at fixing his depression, as if it were as manageable as setting a broken bone?”
“You don’t have to delve into the most personal details.”
“It can’t be authentic if it’s not personal,” Leigh sneers. 
“Just think about it, okay?” Drew presses, a little desperately.
Leigh chews on the inside of her cheek, mulling it over. There's a whole part of her story she hasn't even touched on with him—the string of one-night stands with Danny, the way she's snapped at anyone who dared to disagree with her in the past few weeks. She's been on edge, not really liking the person she's been, and the thought of putting that version of herself out there for everyone to see is nothing short of humiliating. 
As a writer, she knows what to say, the same way a psychologist would know what to do even if they don’t need to have all sorts of human experience to help someone in every situation. But she also questions her right to preach behavior to others when she's far from having it all figured out herself. Regardless of her indecision, she knows Drew’s not going to drop it until she at least tells him she’ll consider.
“Fine,” she says, with a nod. “I'll sift through the inbox and tackle the ones I feel up to.”
“There you go, that's my girl,” Drew says, visibly relaxing. But then, a moment later, he feels a stab of guilt for showing up mostly because of work. It's been a while since they've hung out, their usual brunch dates falling through one after the other, and their daily chats have shriveled up to a few messages a week, with mostly just memes from Leigh that Drew hardly ever acknowledges. Eventually, Leigh just stopped sending them.
Drew fidgets, avoiding eye contact for a second before it dawns on him—he hasn't just been busy; he's been dodging Leigh on purpose ever since he popped the question to his partner. He was worried Leigh wouldn’t take the news well, considering the things she’s been going through. But if he’s being brutally honest with himself, a part of him just didn't want her grief to dampen his excitement. He was worried her sadness might dampen his spirits, and in a bid to preserve his own happiness, he’d left her out in the cold. He hadn't stopped to think that maybe he owed Leigh more than just her column.
“So, uh, how’s it going?” Drew asks cautiously.
“It’s going,” Leigh offers. Heartfelt talks aren't their thing, so Leigh decides to brush it off fast. “By the way, I'm throwing a birthday party for myself.” It comes out a bit more cheerfully than she feels.
“A party? That's great, Leigh!” Drew exclaims. “And hey, if you need help setting up or anything, just let me know.”
“Yeah,” she forces a smile, not as enthusiastic as she was about the idea at breakfast. “It's tonight, though. You're coming, right? And bring anyone fun you know.”
“Wow, OK,” Drew nods before his face morphs into a grin, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “So, is this where you're planning to hard launch your new relationship? At your party?”
Leigh’s eyes sharpen into slits. “You know about Danny?”
“Jules told me,” he says.
Rolling her eyes, Leigh retorts, “Let me guess, she told you so you'd join the haters club?”
“Nah,” Drew shrugs, his smile bright and sunny. “Danny's okay, I guess. If you're happy, I'm happy.”
She hasn’t been not happy lately. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, but it sure beats being on her own. So maybe she is—or at least, on her way.
“Thanks, Drew,” she murmurs thoughtfully.
Drew makes himself comfy, chin in hand, looking like he's all set for one of their marathon catch-ups. "So, how did you and Danny even start? Tell me everything."
-
Leigh's trunk is a one-can band, banging and clanging with every turn. Her groceries create a beat, something to fill in the lack of sound in her car. It’s how she drives these days—in utter silence. Before, she wouldn't even think of heading out without the perfect playlist, which often took her an extra five to fifteen minutes after settling into the driver's seat. But these days, as soon as the key is in the ignition, she twists it and takes off, not even waiting for the car to warm up.
Organizing a party by herself (with Jules' indispensable assistance, of course) and extending invites to her entire Facebook friends list has turned into quite the ruse. She's seasoned enough to temper her expectations—knowing well that not everyone who RSVP'd “yes” will show, and that some who didn't bother to RSVP might just surprise her by showing up. So, she's stocked up on as much food as her sedan can hold.
While Leigh's mind wanders to what snacks to whip up and what sauces to pair them with, she accidentally ends up on a lane that forces a left turn instead of going straight. This little misstep means she's got to take the scenic route home, which, by pure coincidence, takes her right past your clinic's street.
Her heartbeat quickens, though it shouldn't. There's no reason for it. She hasn't seen you in a month, not since the night she made a bold declaration on her bedroom door.
Leigh never planned on actually liking you as a person. Initially, her motive was purely to get a closer look, to dissect what it was about you that caught Matt's eye, what you possessed that she lacked. However, the answer to that mystery didn't remain elusive for long after spending a little time with you. You had this kindness about you, soft and easy, something Leigh’s always found just out of her reach. She prides herself on being decent enough but next to you, she feels a bit more like sandpaper to your silk.
Matt was like that too—gentle, easygoing. Leigh is well aware of her own rough edges, her sharp corners that don't quite align with Matt's smoother ones—and, by extension, yours. You and Matt had more in common than just interests; you both saw and reacted to the world in similar ways. Finding out that you and Matt were alike in important ways, in ways she wasn't, is something she's still learning to cope with.
As she nears your clinic, her eyes instinctively search it out, a habit she can't seem to break. 
This time, her timing is impeccable; just as she glides by, you step outside with a puppy in your arms, licking your face all over. You catch sight of her car from a distance, and you couldn’t stop the surprise that flashes across your face. As she drives past, you give her a little wave, puppy still in tow. Leigh cracks a small smile, then throws on her aviators, maybe trying to hide a bit more than her eyes. She sneaks one last look in the rearview, catching you watching her car disappear down the street before you head back into the clinic.
-
As soon as she gets home and is safely out of the car, she opens her messages.
The last text you sent her says, “I'm sorry. I hope we can still be friends,” sent three days after the encounter in her bedroom. She didn't respond to it, and you didn't push any further or impose yourself on her.
She wishes she had at least reacted with a heart or sent a smiley face to your message. Maybe then, inviting you to her party tonight wouldn’t feel so awkward. Nevertheless, she manages to type out a quick invite and extends to you the courtesy of bringing a plus one, someone you believe would be good company.
Your response arrives within five seconds of her hitting send.
“Thank you, I'll be sure to drop by :)” - Y/N
Satisfied, Leigh sets her phone aside. Now, she can focus on making those Deviled eggs.
-
The dress she's pulled from Jules's closet is a bold choice: deep black with a plunging neckline and a hem that flirts with daring. It's sexy, but not quite Leigh's usual style—and that's exactly why she loves it. It clings to her in all the right places, promising a confidence that Leigh isn't entirely sure she feels. Her hair, which is normally pulled back in a no-nonsense ponytail, hangs loose and wavy. She tops off her outfit with a slick of red lipstick and layers of dark eyeliner. 
With about an hour to spare before her guests are due to arrive, Leigh decides it's the perfect time to follow through on a promise she made to Drew. She logs into the shared inbox of the advice column she co-manages with two other writers at Basically News. Leigh scrolls through the submissions, Drew’s words playing on repeat in her head. He had a point. Maybe people don't always need the right answers—answers she hardly uses herself. Perhaps what they really need is someone to affirm what they're already feeling, to say it's okay to follow their gut, to be themselves.
She reads an interesting entry from one EspressoEyes:
“Do you think it's too much for me to give a puppy to this woman I like? I'm not even sure she likes me back (or like me in general 😣), but it's her birthday, and I feel like a puppy could be exactly what she needs at this moment.”
Leigh reads the message, a smile tugging at her lips despite herself. Personally, she muses, she'd welcome a puppy from just about anyone. But that's just her, especially with the rollercoaster of a year she's had—she's at a point where the gesture, no matter who it comes from, would be a welcome slice of joy.
Thinking it over, she starts replying, “A puppy is a big gesture—it can be an overwhelming gift for some. It might even be seen as too forward, especially in certain relationships.Yet, a gift is a gift. Sometimes, you need to just go for it, without apologies. If her feelings don't align, she'll let you know. She has to, because giving a puppy is essentially a love declaration, in case you hadn't realized. And who knows? She might feel the same about you. Just make sure she's actually up for the responsibility of a pet. They're for life, not just for birthdays.”
She signs off with her pen name—Gigi Herrel—a clever anagram of her name as it would have been had she taken Matt's last name in marriage: Leigh Greer. Though it never quite felt like her own. She only used it when she came back to Basically News in obeisance to his passing. Drew has granted her the autonomy to publish her responses without his oversight (“Just make sure your grammar is perfect,” he said), so Leigh doesn’t think twice before publishing her response.
Leigh moves on to browse through other submissions, this time, on those related to marriage and loss—the very subjects she promised Drew she would tackle. She’s been in those shoes, still feels like she's wearing them. With a deep breath, she clicks on one and dives right into it. Her first attempt at a response feels inadequate, prompting her to hit delete and start anew. This process repeats itself, one draft after another, until she has five versions sitting in front of her, none of which feel right. With a huff, she deletes them all.
Just then the doorbell rings, pulling her out of her advice-column vortex. Leigh glances around, momentarily disoriented. It takes her a moment to recall that there's a party happening downstairs, and she's meant to be enjoying herself.
-
She’s halfway down the stairs when Jules's eyes land on her. Leigh freezes, as if she’s been caught red-handed. “I…couldn’t find the coupon for borrowing your clothes.”
Jules just smirks and arches an eyebrow, taking in Leigh in her dress. “Oh please, as if I ever keep track. Besides, that was just gathering dust after my ‘slutty Halloween phase’ as you so lovingly called it.”
“Cool! Perfect!” Leigh says, ignoring the backhanded comment. Her focus immediately turns to the front door as another guest arrives. “Hey, Dad!” she calls out.
Leigh’s dad walks in with his partner, and she greets them with a warmth that's been rare these days. He hands her a large, beautifully wrapped box. Leigh grasps the gift with both hands, shaking it gently, much like a child on Christmas morning. She’s thanking them when an old friend from high school she hasn’t seen in forever walks through the door, a bottle of wine in hand. Her mom swoops in like a hawk, reminding everyone it's a dry party in support of Jules's sobriety, and the wine is swiftly traded for a mocktail.
For the next hour, the house fills up. Leigh finds herself out back, tending to snacks, when a small line of people forms to chat with her. They each ask if she’s doing okay, their condolences tucked neatly between cheerful birthday wishes. Leigh’s smiling, but it's so fake even she is not buying it, mentally blacklisting half of these people for next time.
Just when the parade of condolence callers is beginning to fray her patience, one of her actual favorite humans finally shows up, saving her mood from souring completely. Drew looks striking in a simple black polo shirt, so much so that it reminds Leigh of the time Matt got all jealous over him, until Leigh let him in on the secret that he plays for the other team.
He passes her a little envelope, his birthday offering—a gift card. Leigh’s barely expressed her thanks over the simple present when he jumps right into feedback on her latest advice column. 
“Read your puppy counsel on my way here. It felt a bit... casual, don’t you think?”
Leigh smirks up at him, arms crossed, the gift card crinkling between her forearms. “Just say it's terrible advice if that's what you mean.”
Drew purses his lips before relenting. “Fine. It was terrible advice.”
“Expect more of that if I tackle the stuff I’ve been avoiding. Still think it’s a good idea?” Leigh says, nodding like it’s exactly what she wants to hear. Drew lets out a sigh, swiftly steering the conversation away before their playful banter escalates into a disagreement. With Leigh, he knows all too well that the edge of an argument is always closer than it seems.
“Anyway, happy birthday, again,” he says, trying to lighten the mood again. “Ryan's tied up with work stuff, totally wiped, but he did wish you a happy birthday.”
Leigh’s face hardens slightly at the mention of Ryan. She’s been harboring this nagging thought that Ryan dislikes her, a suspicion fueled by a criticism she once shared with Drew in confidence, suspecting Drew might have passed it along. Drew, seeing her expression change, doesn’t rush to correct her assumption.
“He hates me,” Leigh concludes before Drew can even get a word out.
“He doesn’t—”
“What I don’t understand is why you couldn’t have kept it between us?” she demands, feeling betrayed.
“Because Ryan’s my person. I tell him everything. That’s how being in a marriage works,” he says, but the moment he sees Leigh's face fall, he wishes he could retract those words.
Leigh bristles, her voice rising, “I know how being married works!”
She's livid, because that should go without saying. How dare he imply that she no longer knows, now that she's only half of a whole—her best friend, of all people.
Drew exhales coolly, as if trying to douse the proverbial fire between them. “Why does it seem like we're always either fighting or about to fight?” he wonders aloud.
Leigh’s anger softens into something more reflective, and she sighs, the fight draining out of her. “I don’t mean to...” She trails off, searching for the right words. “It’s like I’m always ready for a battle. I don’t know why. It’s like I’m expecting it, waiting for it, at the end of every day.”
Drew lets the moment breathe, waiting for both of them to deflate completely before tacitly reaching out behind Leigh for a snack. “These are great, by the way,” he says between bites, acting like they hadn’t just been at each other's throats.
Leigh tries to match Drew’s candidness, but inside, she’s reeling. It bothers her, this pattern they’ve fallen into—her temper flaring up, followed by a quick brush-off, as if these outbursts are merely now a part of who she is. She hates that she’s become predictable in her volatility, that her explosions are met with a shrug and a wait-out-the-clock mentality from those around her. She’s tired of it, tired of being seen as a ticking time bomb, her anger and hurt dismissed as just Leigh being Leigh, waiting for the reset button to be hit so the countdown can start all over again.
But it's her birthday, and she's brought these people together on a Tuesday night for fun. She didn't gather everyone just to tell them, once and for all, that they need to stop acting as if her husband just died.
So, she goes with the flow, laughing when it's her cue, even though deep down, she feels more alone in the crowd than ever.
-
With the absence of alcohol, the party winds down by 11 PM. Guests begin trickling out as early as 10, and by the time Leigh is bidding farewell to the last attendee, she's already donned an apron, ready to take on the mountain of dishes left behind.
Which is to say, showing up right now pretty much means you've missed the whole party.
Pulling up in front of Leigh's house, the night already deep into its quiet hours, you’re running on the adrenaline of the day's emergencies. Two cases back-to-back at the clinic, one of them diving straight into surgery, left you no choice but to push everything else to the side. Suzie, who was meant to join you as your plus one, ends up stuck back at work, tending to a recovering St. Bernard, so it's just you and the sleeping puppy on your lap now. For her sacrifice, you promise to take her out to a nice lunch one of these days.
The puppy starts wagging its tail in its sleep, and you look down with a smile at the little dreamer. The decision to give Leigh the puppy wasn't made lightly. You've been turning the idea in your mind for a while now. Initially, you didn't even realize her birthday was coming up, and the invitation to her party caught you off guard, especially considering the somewhat unresolved way things were left between you two weeks ago. The timing of her birthday, your rocky history, it all made you second-guess whether a puppy was a good idea. In search of a voice outside your own head, you turned to a favorite advice column you often read in your spare time. To your surprise, your submission was picked up by one of the columnists, and the response you got wasn't just advice; it was the push you needed. You were lucky to be able to catch their answer, just before you got home to change for Leigh’s birthday party.
Trying to calm the butterflies in your stomach, you give yourself a quick once-over in the rearview mirror and apply a fresh swipe of nude-colored lipstick. With one last look, you carefully step out of the car, the sleeping puppy nestled securely in your arms. The moment you move, it stirs, burrowing deeper into your armpit, seeking refuge from the light of the street lamps.
Everything's too quiet as you walk up to Leigh's house. You anticipated some noise, music or chatter—anything to indicate the party was in full swing. But there are none. Could you have missed the party? Or worse, did Leigh get the date wrong on her invite? Hesitantly, you press the doorbell, instantly regretting it, thinking you might be waking up the whole house.
Just as you're about to bail, the door swings open and it's Jules.
“Y/N!” Jules nearly trips over herself getting to you, eyes wide when she spots the furball you’re holding. 
“Hi Jules,” you mutter sheepishly.
“Is that a…” she squeaks out, already reaching for a cuddle before you've even nodded. Jules is all over the puppy, who seems just as happy to be the center of attention. After a while, she looks up, a bit more composed but still glowing. 
“I didn’t know Leigh invited you. Too bad, you just missed the party. But you should definitely come in and say hi to Leigh,” she says. You want nothing more than to see Leigh again, even if only for a brief moment, just to accomplish what you came here for and perhaps wish her a happy birthday. But with the party over and you potentially being the only guest, it feels like walking into a situation you don’t think you’re prepared enough for.
Then, as the puppy licks Jules' face off, she pauses and looks at you funny. It clicks for her—no collar, no leash, just you and this puppy who appear no more than two months old.
“Oh my gosh, is this for Leigh?” Jules gasps.
You nod, feeling a lump form in your throat. “I-If she wants him.”
Jules looks at you, then at the puppy, her smile blinding. “Well, I want him. But if she doesn’t, I’ll be more than happy to be his mommy.”
You laugh at her enthusiasm. Still feeling skittish, you ask, “Do you think it’s an appropriate gift for Leigh?”
“You're a vet. It's kind of on-brand for you,” Jules quips.
You laugh again. “Really?” you ask, kind of hoping for a more solid reassurance.
Jules considers it for a second, before saying, “I can at least assure you it’s not unwanted.”
Good enough, you think. Jules hands you back the puppy and then says, “She’s in the kitchen. Look, she’s not exactly in a good mood, but I think you should go for it anyway.”
That’s two people egging you to go ahead with your surprise. It must be a sign from the universe. You make up your mind for the final time. “Thanks, Jules,” you say.
“Anytime.”
-
You tread lightly, making sure your footsteps don’t give you away as you approach the kitchen. Leigh is at the sink, doing the dishes, clad in a black dress that skims her thighs, her feet bare against the cool kitchen tiles. Her shoulders are slumped, her movements laconic, as if her body is there, but her mind is miles elsewhere. The expanse of skin revealed by her hair tied up in a high ponytail captivates you, holding you back from announcing your presence. You allow yourself a moment to take her in, thinking this might be the only chance you get to really look at her like this. 
You’re about to say “Hi”, when Leigh whirls around, startling you both. Leigh, not expecting anyone to be there, loses her grip on the plate she's holding, and it smashes loudly against the floor. 
“Jesus!” Leigh’s scream summons Jules and her mom into the kitchen. Meanwhile, you are trying to do damage control—holding the puppy with one hand and attempting to gather the ceramic shards with the other as Leigh continues to stare at you in shock.
Amy, wrapped in her robe, looks from the mess on the floor to you and then to Leigh. “What’s going on here?”
Jules is unfazed, simply watches the entire scene from a corner of the room, smirking. 
Your cheeks flush with shame, and you find yourself grateful to be still seated on the floor, your back turned away from Leigh's family.
“I’m so—” you start, but Leigh cuts you off.
“Okay, everyone just...calm down," Leigh says. She kneels down beside you, her hands joining yours in cleaning up the broken pieces.
“I'm heading to bed,” Jules says and then winks at you. “Happy to see you, Y/N!”
Amy wraps her robe more snugly around herself, then with a small, puzzled shake of her head, says, “Well, good night everyone. And happy birthday again, sweetheart,” before she walks down the hall and out of sight. Leigh gets to her feet, a slight nod of appreciation directed your way as she holds open a trash bag for you to deposit the ceramic shards. That’s when the puppy finally catches her attention. 
“And who's this little guy?” she asks, a smile starting to play at the corners of her mouth.
You clear your throat. “Uh, yeah. He’s yours if you want him. Don’t worry about refusing, there’s someone lined up to take him in case you’re not—”
But Leigh’s already gently taking the puppy from your arms, instantly cradling and bouncing him as though he’s a tiny human baby. It’s a sight both funny and utterly endearing, and you can’t help but let out a soft chuckle, feeling your heart grow a size or two.
“Who wouldn't want him? He's perfect,” Leigh says, her eyes not leaving him as he nestles comfortably in her arms. Hearing those words, you feel a wave of relief wash over you. She doesn't find it odd; she's already falling for him.
“Happy birthday,” you tell her, and when she looks at you, her smile is so bright it could light up the whole night. Right there is everything you hoped for. All you really wanted was to see her happy.
“Thank you so much,” she murmurs, clutching the puppy tighter to her chest. Then, cocking her head to the side, she inquires, “What's his name?”
The grin on your lips can’t be helped, and you’re hoping she wouldn’t see just how much she’s having an effect on you. “I haven’t named him yet. He was always meant to be yours, Leigh,” you say.
Her smile just gets bigger as she gazes down at the little furball in her arms, and you think this is exactly how things were supposed to go down. It’s one of those rare moments where reality lines up perfectly with expectation. 
“I think I’ll call him Logan.”
-
You and Leigh retire to the living room after she kindly offers to make you decaf. As you settle onto opposite ends of the couch, tucking your feet under you, Logan instinctively takes shelter in Leigh's lap, as if he already knows he belongs there.
“So…Why Logan?” you ask, after making a mental note of how Leigh makes her coffee: one cream, two sugars.
“Well,” Leigh says, her fingers gently stroking Logan’s deep chocolate fur, “he just looks like a little wolverine, doesn’t he? With that color and those defiant little eyes.”
The dots connect in a funny, unexpected sort of way. Leigh and comic books don't seem like the most likely pair. 
“Ah, like the X-Men character. I didn’t know you were a comic book fan,” you say.
She laughs, a sound that’s light and free of any shadows. “Oh, I wasn’t. Not really. It was all Matt. He had this massive collection, and he was pretty obsessed. I guess some of it rubbed off on me after all.” The mention of Matt doesn’t bring clouds into her eyes like you expected. She talks about him like she’s looking at something distant but dear.
“Thought you were bailing on me tonight,” Leigh , almost casual but there’s this undercurrent, like she’s really saying she’s glad you didn’t.
“I’m sorry. I got stuck at the clinic longer than expected.” Leaving her waiting, especially today, was never part of the plan. Your work as a vet often means unpredictable hours, but you hadn't expected it to stretch so far into the evening.
“It’s okay, you didn’t miss much.” 
Her casual dismissal makes you wonder, but not wanting to pry too much, you shift slightly, asking, “So, how did it go? Did you enjoy yourself at least?”
Leigh simply smiles and shrugs, an action that speaks volumes without giving much away. “This,” she nods down at Logan, “getting him from you, feels more like my birthday than anything else today.”
The conversation that follows is easy, skipping over the day-to-day stuff—nothing deep, but you're both there—really there—and it's nice. It feels like a fresh start, and you're deeply thankful for the second chance she's offering you. You promise yourself you won't mess it up this time. 
But just as you’re both delving into more personal topics, someone rings the doorbell. Logan perks up, his head tilted, ears alert. Leigh gives you a look, as if saying she's not expecting anyone else to show up this late at night. She puts the puppy down on the floor and when she opens the door, it’s Danny, looking sorry for himself. He’s holding a bouquet of roses in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. It seems as though he has the whole evening planned out in his head—apologize, crack open the wine, and maybe be invited to Leigh’s bedroom afterwards.
Danny’s eyes find you and his face falls a bit. He wasn’t expecting company, certainly not you. “Leigh, can we talk?” he asks, then looks pointedly at you. “Alone?”
Leigh looks torn for a moment, glancing your way as if she's not ready to let you out of her sight. She insists it'll just be a minute, but you can read the room. This is something they need to sort out without you playing third wheel.
“It’s all good, I'll head out,” you tell her though you're staring Danny down, making sure he knows it’s not because of him that you’re leaving. Leigh either misses the whole glare-off or decides to stay out of it. Logan tries to follow you as you make for the door. It’s hard leaving him behind, but you know he’ll be happy to have found his forever home. You kneel down, giving Logan a soft kiss on the head, promising him you’ll be back soon. And then you turn to Leigh, a question at the tip of your tongue but she already knows what you’re going to ask. 
“You can see Logan anytime,” she says with a faint smile. “I might need your help with him sooner than you think.”
The moment you close the door behind you, Leigh's jaw sets in a firm line, bracing herself to confront Danny. Her main priority is to get Logan settled, so she decides that forgiving Danny might be the quickest way to send him on his way. But Danny’s focus now isn’t on apologies or making it up to her. He’s fixated on Logan, his brows knitting together in confusion and, curiously, a bit of annoyance. 
“Who gave you that?” he asks Leigh as if he’s just referring to an inanimate object lying around the house. He sounds like he's almost accusing her of something, and Leigh's baffled. 
“A friend gave him to me,” she says, nodding towards the door you've just walked out of. Danny's face twists up in an instant, like a storm cloud bursting. “A friend,” he repeats, and the way he says it, it’s clear he’s not just asking. He’s fuming with jealousy, and Leigh can’t wrap her head around why.
A gift is just a gift, right? Why would…
Oh.
Earlier, while she was reviewing submissions for the advice column, someone asked if giving a puppy as a birthday gift to someone they're interested in would be a good idea. She remembers how she happily encouraged them, telling them to go for it.
At this realization, Danny, the puppy, and everything else slide to the back burner. The only thing occupying her mind now is the deep, dark brown hue of your eyes, like rich espresso.
EspressoEyes. That's how the person behind the submission signed off. It's like a lightbulb moment, but softer—like waking up slow.
It's you.
Oh.
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matan4il · 17 days
Text
Update post:
It's exactly six months since the start of the war. Six months since the worst massacre of Jews post WWII. Six months since the worst tragedy in Israeli history, for Jewish and non-Jewish citizens, and for non-citizens who happened to be here. Six months of still not understanding how it could happen. Six months of looking for a way to comprehend that the age of defenceless Jews being mass tortured, raped and murdered isn't behind us. Six months of watching people deny the murders, the rapes, the intentionality of these crimes, the identity of the perpetrators, the pain that we feel, the fact that on October 7 we were the victims, all of which denies our very humanity. Six months of even more Israelis getting killed, soldiers and civilians, in Israel and in Gaza. Six months of wanting my people back. All of them. Alive. The kidnapped and the massacred. Like having an adult's brain, which understands the finality of death, and a child's heart, which doesn't. Six months of trying to process images and realities I will never forget, and never understand. Six months of watching with horror as my Jewish brothers and sisters abroad are being targeted as well, of searching for ways to stand with them even from afar. Six months of hearing some non-Jews (and a minority of Jewish people) acting as if Israelis' right to live is dependent on how many Gazans the antisemitic, genocidal terrorists of Hamas manage to get killed, in order to turn the world against us. Six months of having to realize those terrorists, who never made it a secret that their intents for every Jew in the world are genocidal, might succeed. Six months of wondering how the Holocaust, the genocide perpetrated against the Jews for being Jewish, is being hijacked, distorted, and All Lives Matter'ed, by the same people who would have screamed against how wrong that is, if it were done to any other marginalized group. Six months of finding comfort in the compassion, strength and solidarity of the Jewish People, of the Israelis, and of our true allies. Six months of working to allow joy in again, even as the pain doesn't let go for a second. Six months of having to face the devastating fact, that the family scars, born out of millennia of antisemitism, are not going to stop with this generation, either. Six months of experiencing the betrayal of people who were supposed to be friends, and to listen, and to know better. Six months of discovering that there is no limit to the human heart's ability to break. Six months of grieving every day like it's the first one, because October 7 never ended here. Six months of knowing I will never be the same, right from the start, from the very first horror video I happened to come across online. Six months of never being more Jewish in my life, or closer to what my Holocaust survivor grandparents had gone through, or more broken, or stronger, or prouder, or braver, or more full of love, for my people, for my friends, for my heritage as a Jew that teaches choosing to hold up even one little light, because in a world so full of darkness, so willing to embrace it, nothing matters more than the light we choose.
<- -> <- -> <- ->
Yet another Palestinian terrorist attack happened today. Two people were shot by the terrorist attacking vehicles driving by, and one of the vistims, a 19 years old female soldier, is said to be in serious condition. The other victim is a 50 years old man. The army is in pursuit of the terrorist.
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We learned that yesterday, four more Israeli soldiers were killed during the fighting in Gaza, bringing the totaly number of fatalities in the ground operation to 260, and in the war and Hamas massacre combined to 604. May their memory be a blessing.
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A 17 years old Palestinian was detained, searched and then arrested yesterday at the Damascus Gate in Jerusalem, when they found a concealed knife taped to his body, stopping him before he was able to carry out a terrorist attack. In a Facebook post, he talked about martyrdom and the road to heaven, a message typical of Jihadists.
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Liri Albag is one of the four young Israeli female hostages, who were featured on the cover of the Daily Mail, showing them before the kidnapping, and just several hours after. Her family was sent a funeral laurel wreath, and security forces believe this was done by Iran, as part of its psychological warfare against Israeli civilians.
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Here's another reminder that Hamas operates outside of Israel, and is a danger to all Jews, not just to all Israelis. This week, German and Dutch police jointly arrested four Hamas terrorists. While investigating their intent to launch attacks during Christmas, these forces ended up uncovering a Hamas weapons cache in southern Bulgaria, meant to be used against Jewish targets in Europe.
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This is 47 years old Elad Katzir.
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He was a farmer, and a passionate soccer fan. On Oct 7, his dad Rami was murdered in their community of kibbutz Nir Oz. His mother Chana was abducted, then released during the hostage deal, at the end of November 2023. The Palestinian Islamic Jihad (PIJ) claimed she was murdered, but it turned out they lied. Yesterday, we got the news that Elad, who was also kidnapped with his mom by the PIJ, was murdered in captivity, likely back in January. Intel that the IDF had collected led soldiers in a risky operation to the spot where Elad's body was buried. They brought him back home. As he volunteered so much, in so many domains, with so many people, his friends described him as, "a bachelor with many children."
May his memory be a blessing.
(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)
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Note
Hi! Literally love all your writings🗣️🌹🌹 I was wondering if you can do something platonic with Modern!Bill with teen daughter reader and how they would be with each other (love all writings but I’m a sucker for platonic writings)
(Hello! Ty for loving my writing and aye, sure I can! I love platonic writings so I hope you enjoy!)
Being Bill Kaulitz's Daughter
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Your dad could be the corniest and most embarrassing mf ever to meet on some days
He finds it so funny to embarrass you in front of your friends
But also if your friends know who he is he is like
"Yes. It is me." With his dramatic eyebrow raise and hair flip
He's still dramatic man no matter if he has you or not
Your childhood consisted a lot of being to on tour and having your uncle's do your every bidding
Tom and you are like partners in crime
After your dad of course
Georg let you sneak off with him and Gustav taught you practically everything
You were taken on stage a lot
Your dad likes to teach you anything to do with music at all
When you were a kid you would crawl into bed with Bill no matter what and you probably still do it
Your dad just lets you because he knows you still find comfort in it
You will always be his little girl no matter what
He legit struggles when he remembers your not a kid and growing up
Spoiled you no matter what
Even if he got criticism from media about how you were brought up he still did it
He dressed you just like him when you were younger
He didn't force you to dress like him though, you just found him cool
You and him match on a daily though
That father daughter duo with amazing style
You guys can never be caught wearing something that doesn't send a statement or look absolutely amazing
He is so proud your happy to be his kid
You are the best thing to happen to this man the moment he met you in the hospital
He lets you grow your own hobbies, interests and style
He doesn't make you do something you don't wanna do
Tries his best to keep paparazzi away from you growing up
Tries to keep you out of the media when you were born for as long as he could to protect your privacy
He thought you wouldn't hang out with him as you grew up bc he is a bit more on the feminine side and thought you would find that embarrassing but was glad you didn't
You and him have shopping sprees so many times of the week you guys just can't stop
You constantly bother your dad and he lets you
Buys you whatever in hell you want just because you want it
When you guys buy clothes you guys have a practical runway and fashion show and are giving each other compliments, tips and shit like that
He is a very supporting dad
Either with what you wanna do in your life, school, jobs and anything
Doesn't care if you grow up and date a woman, a man, a they, he just wanted you to be happy
Posts you literally everyday
Is almost like a Facebook mom with everything in your life
Wrote a bunch of songs about things happening in your life like milestones
You are him are very close if you couldn't tell
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hrtbreakanniversary · 8 months
Text
photograph | suguru geto
warnings: no use of honorifics, reader is described as a female but it can be read as gender neutral, y/n simping very hard for geto, him simping just as hard
word count: 2k
Y/N resisted the urge to grab the brown-haired bobbed girl by the hair as she playfully rolled her eyes at the suffering she was putting her best friend through.
Shoko asked her if she wanted to go to the cherry blossom festival. Originally she thought it was only going to be just them two. A little bestie date away from tiresome missions and Yaga's constant lecturing. She was especially excited to post on Facebook about their day with cute photos. No one mentioned that that Satoru Gojo was tagging along as well. And wherever Gojo was, Suguru Geto went along too.
"You'll be fine. They're super nice and I've told them a lot about you," Shoko nudged her on the side," Plus we can have Gojo buy us crepes." before interlocking their fingers and joining the two tall males that stood only a few feet away from them.
It wasn't that Y/N hated them. No, it was quite the opposite. She honestly was quite star stuck by them.
Meeting Shoko was by chance because of a bad injury she had from one of her missions. She underestimated the grade of the curse. Almost risking her life and becoming immobilized that Nanami had to take over and finish up the mission on his own. She apologized every day after when he visited her in the infirmary for making him carry the workload that day. The typically stoic blonde haired male only shrugged and told her to get better soon each time.
While in the infirmary because of her severe injures, she spent a lot of time in there especially with Shoko that was practicing her reverse curse technique on her. They bonded over their love for the K-pop group, Girls Generation.
The chorus of Into the New World blasting through the speakers that Shoko bought comforted her as she felt her bones getting rearranged.
Despite them being best friends for a while now, Y/N still never spent time with Gojo and Geto.
Being a first year student, it's not like Y/N would cross paths with them often especially since the two were always sent out on missions together. She would often hear things from other female classmates that would fangirl over "the strongest duo".
Y/N couldn't say she wasn't any different from them especially since she harbored a huge crush on Geto. She was just more quiet about it as she admired him from afar, taking a look at him each time he was doing his daily evening run through her dorm window.
It wasn't just physical either. It was his personality. He was kind and looked out for the underclassman. There was a time that Haibara wasn't being his usual cheerful self as he was being hard on himself after practice and it was hard to get him out of the mood no matter what Nanami or her did. Later that night when she snuck out to get a drink from the vending machine, she saw Geto talking to him outside of the showers. A smile appearing on his face the next second.
The next morning, Haibara came bearing gifts from Kyoto that he said one of the second years got for them but didn't disclose who. It wasn't hard to put two and two together.
So each day, she found herself wanting to get at least a glimpse of his face. Enough just to see his face but not enough for him to notice her or have a conversation like a normal person would.
Which is why she despised Shoko at the moment.
Shoko wasn't at fault at all though. Heck, the girl doesn't even know about this big fat crush of hers.
But Y/N knowing that the boy she has been pining for the past year was going to be closer to her than he's ever been before. How on earth was she suppose to function now? Should she be flirty? No, that's too much especially when you don't even know how to. Should she be quiet? No, what if he thought she was rude. There was no time to conjure up a script or a personality that would fit today righ-
"Hello."
Stuck in her thoughts, she hadn't realized she was now standing right of him.
Her breath getting caught in her throat, watching how his hair that was normally in a bun was now flowing down to his shoulder. Tied halfway up with a bang that dreamily over his eye. His slightly chapped lips moving as he moved on to greet Shoko, moving his hand up so he could ruffle her hair.
Shoko pushed his hands away in a hurried movement. Quickly wrapping an arm around Y/N's shoulder and pulling her into her side in a tight side hug,"This is Y/N Y/L/N. The first year that I've been telling you about."
"You never told us that she was pretty", Gojo smirked, his glasses tipping down so she could see his bright blue eyes.
Geto only smiled at her, greeting her with the crease of his eyes. Oh my god. That smile. She always saw it when he would be laughing at Gojo's antics but seeing it up close was something else.
Simplest way to put it: the man is gorgeous. Her heart thumped so hard she could feel it in her ears.
"You're a little shy, aren't you?" Gojo teased. Shit, was she just staring in the space again? Shoko pushed him by the shoulder.
"Leave her alone. You two are just too much. I told you to tone it down."
"You two? I haven't even done anything." Geto held his hands up in defense.
"Yet. You haven't done anything yet."
Gojo sheepshly shrugged and immediately hugged Y/N into a tight bear hug. His skinny yet firm frame engulfing her as he swung the two of them around. Over his shoulder, she made eye contact with Geto who tilted his head into her view.
" Anybody that is a good friend of Shoko is also a good friend of mine."
"Mine as well." She heard the white hair male mumble into her shoulder before getting pulled away by Shoko.
"Let's get moving. I got hungry waiting for you guys."
Because they decided to come on a weekend, it was super crowded. No space for any elbow room. Every single teenagers, adults, and their child if they had one was on this street tonight. Trying to snag a picture before pushed out by another person that wanted that same view or angle. Shoko voiced her annoyance each someone accidentally bumped into her. Normally she would be agreeing with her but she could hardly focus on that fact when she could feel Geto's muscular arm that was brushing against her. Remembering to breathe was more important.
She was almost bound to faint from how dizzy she was feeling each time he moved her in closer or out of the way from people rushing by.
It didn't help that she opted to wear a short sleeve dress today that kept flying up so she had to keep her arm down instead of moving it away from his bare arm that was exposed from the muscle tee he chose to wear instead of the school's uniform that she typically saw him in.
This totally changed her peripheral on things. She thought he made the school uniform look fantastic but he looks even better in casual clothing.
"Yo, let's take a picture here. The trees here blocks out the buildings." Gojo pointed out a spot that was a quick walk from them if they fast walked. Shoko groaned, asking if they could eat first but Gojo insisted that it was better to get their photos first so they could just sit down to eat and chill after.
Despite grumbling under her breath, Shoko easily got into line for Gojo's selfie. Gojo continously snapped pictures, the four of them striking poses. Considering how close Geto was to her, she surprisingly was still able to naturally snap poses with the group like she was friends with them for years.
"Oh, I have a polaroid!" She dug into her purse, pulling out the device. She snapped pictures of herself then of Gojo who asked for some.
Y/N found herself giggling at the silly poses that Gojo conjured and Shoko's refusal to waste film if he wasn't going to be serious about it. In the midst of it all, she hadn't noticed Geto was still standing behind her until she felt a tug on the strap out her bag.
Ready to defend herself a potential robber, she only saw Geto looking at the Keroppi keychain on her bag. "This looks familiar."
It was one of the keychain that Haibara got from him that night.
"Oh yeah. One of my classmates, Haibara, gave it to us."
Of course she knew he knew that Haibara was one of her classmates but she didn't want to accidentally slip up that she knew that specific detail about him.
"Funny. The last time I asked Haibara about his keychain, he said that he had to take it off because it got too dirty and the string broke. Nice to see yours is still intact."
"Of course I-"
She cut off herself when she remembered the reason why. It was only still intact because it was from him. Heck, Keroppi wasn't even her favorite character. It was Kuromi but Haibara wanted Kuromi and being the one that was personally gifted all the keychains, he got first choice. Before today, it was the only type of interaction she had of his and a gift was indirectly given to her. Of course, she had to take extra good care of it. Keroppi is still good as new, attached to her purse that she uses every time she goes out.
"Quick! Pose, Y/N!"
Y/N quickly snapped her head back to Shoko whose face was covered with the camera. Maybe it was instinct because Shoko did this almost all the time but she quickly posed with Geto and smiled for the picture.
After watching Shoko put the camera down and pull out the film, Y/N realized the position she put herself into. Eyeing her arms that was wrapped around his one arm with his hand still gripping onto the Keroppi.
"Of course what?"
"I'm in need of smoke break." Shoko waved around the photo for it to develop faster," There's too many people, it's stressing me out. Geto, you in?"
"Or you're just hangry." Gojo hummed, earning him another hit on the shoulder of the day.
"I will be if you don't shut up."
In fear that hell would break lose, Y/N unlatched herself from Geto, missing how his arm seemed to follow her like a magnet. "Gojo, do you want to get some crepes with me?"
Shoko winked over Gojo's shoulder at Y/N at what she considered a great suggestion, raising a thumbs up. As the two walked away, Shoko shouted for her to get as many toppings as she could fit into the treat.
"What does she think? That I'm made out of money?"
"Yes."
_
The nicotine filled stick left Shoko's turned up lips. She stared at the male who had his own cigarette in one hand and in the other, the photo that was taken only five minutes ago.
"You totally weren't expecting that, were you?"
Geto smiling down gleefully at the photo, his wallet pulled out to tuck it into the slot that would typically hold an ID card.
In the photo, Y/N was practically cuddling into his side. Because he was shocked at the sudden intimate interaction, he was looking down at her in the photo. If anybody else had seen the photo and didn't know them, they would've thought that they were a couple.
Which is exactly what Geto loved about the picture.
"You sure you don't want me to put in a good word for you?"
"No, I got it. I’d like it to happen naturally. Plus I don’t even know if she likes me back.”
“ Well you better find out because you begged me to let you come. I didn’t know you were going to bring Gojo with you.”
“ I needed my wingman.”
“That wingman is going to expose you if we don’t get back to them right now.”
“Crap, you’re right.”
After the two of them stomped their cigarettes, they walked back towards where all the food stalls. Geto stopped momentarily at one booth to pick up and buy a Kuromi keychain. Maybe one day he’d buy it all for her.
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deadgodjess · 9 months
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It's really funny how Twitter is rolling out this rebranding on like, a design level, outside of just Elon's whole man-baby routine.
They didn't have a new logo created, they're just using a Unicode 𝕏, it's for math. It can't be trademarked because it's not a distinct logo so they have 0 control over how, if, or when people use their branding on other sites, which is just an insane situation for a major social media company to create for themselves.
Search engine optimization. You are a major social media company, you want to be THE PLACE people go for social media, news, etc, right? Well, good luck chucklefuck, because while X is the top search result, it's also the ONLY one on the first page (on duckduckgo) that refers to the social media site. Search Twitter and it's the entire front page of search results including news articles and Wiki articles about the social media site.
Association with porn. X-[anything] sounds like a porn site and XVideo IS a porn site. That's what you're contending with, and while I personally don't believe there's anything inherently shameful with close proximity to porn, on a professional level most companies are going to notice that and have to seriously consider if they want refer people to their X Account to see their X Posts on their X Feed and you see what I'm getting at here? Which then gets into...
The sheer brand recognition of the Twitter name. There is NO other social media site with the kind of brand recognition that Twitter has. Zuck would sell his right nut for the kind of brand recognition Twitter has. They have their own word for posts! Facebook doesn't have that! Reddit and Tumblr don't have that! Myspace and LiveJournal and Xanga also never had that! All for the far more generic 𝕏. No one's Booking on FB or Ditting on Reddit or w/e. But on Twitter they be Tweeting. Saying you tweeted someone tells people EXACTLY what site you were on immediately. Now they're what, X-posting? Well that's short for "cross-post". Posting on X? Looks like you're being vague about what site you were using on purpose. "I @'d [so-and-so] on X" doesn't have the same ring it, either.
They didn't make all their rebranding decisions BEFORE announcing and rolling out the rebrand, so now we have a site called 𝕏 with a LOT of the on site references to the site itself and it's features still called Twitter [thing] and you still post using a button that says "Tweet" (as of 7.29.23) and they JUST settled on a word to replace that with. USUALLY when a company is doing a rebranding, especially one with the kinds of resources Twitter has available, they plan it all out well in advance and do the roll out all at once rather than this hodgepodge thing that's going on. This is a big one and I don't think Elon understands how unprofessional this looks. This doesn't look like the work of a team of skilled, experienced web developers, designers and marketers. This looks like a site being ran on a shoe-string budget ran by a disorganized child making decisions on a whim.
Okay so I can't fully divorce the design decisions from Elon's general fuckery, but you get my point. Like, all the behind the scenes and PR shit is bad enough but even if we didn't know he had a tantrum over the name of PayPal and hadn't been all over the site being loud and wrong about everything, just these decisions listed would be enough to show what an entitled, inexperienced, immature walnut he is.
And it's really fucking funny.
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babycharmander · 10 months
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TW ANTISEMITISM. THERE WILL BE DEPICTIONS OF ANTISEMITIC ARTWORK AND TEXT IN THIS POST.
Okay so, this is not the kind of post I normally make, ever, nor a sort of post I ever wanted to make. But this is an incredibly important issue that goes beyond fandom stuff, and I've talked with a few other people about it to confirm that it is something concerning.
I want to start by saying that I am not Jewish, but I know that you should never let antisemitism get its foot in the door. (If anyone who reads this is Jewish and needs to correct me on anything, please do so immediately.)
This was posted to the tags yesterday:
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[ID: A screenshot of a post from @/liu4ka. The caption at the top reads "well he looks at me / and i look at him / and then he smiles" in very small, stylized text. The image below is artwork of Otto, facing right, with his eyes squinted and his mouth in a skewed, toothy grin, with his hands held up in a strange way. /end ID]
This picture looks perfectly fine at first glance... but the thing is, that caption you see there was not the original caption. I managed to get a screenshot of it before it was changed, and the original caption was this:
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[ID: A screenshot of the original caption of the above post, which reads "well he looks at me / and i look at him / and then he smiles like sly jew" /end ID]
That's... a weird way to describe a smile. I'd wondered if this was referencing something, and apparently the first two lines are lyrics from a Weird Al song, but the third line is definitely not. That was making alarm bells ring in my mind, along with the pose Otto was in (which I'll explain in a moment).
Still, I wanted to give this user the benefit of a doubt, because it's entirely possible to unknowingly say something that sounds Bad. So I looked at their other account on VK (which is a Russian website that is, as I understand it, similar to Facebook--they have the same name there and post some of the same art). It didn't take me long before I found... this (photo taken with the google translate app). (I hate sharing this, but I need to show proof here):
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[ID: A photo of a computer screen taken from the Google Translate app. It features a character facing right, with their eyes narrowed and with a toothy grin on their face and their hands clasped in a specific way in reference to the "happy merchant" Nazi meme. The caption reads "SCARY JEWISH MUSIC PLAYS." /end ID]
It's not in the screenshot here, but the post this was in also had a song linked with it whose title directly referenced the "happy merchant" meme.
If you're not familiar with that meme, please look it up, as I'm NOT comfortable putting that image on my blog. But it's an image people should be familiar with because it is VERY FREQUENTLY referenced by white supremacists and nazis, and that's what's being referenced here.
Obviously not every single piece of art with a character giving a sly look is going to be a reference to that meme, but CONTEXT is important. The Otto image isn't posed exactly like the meme--the hands are not the same--but alongside the original caption AND given the other art this same artist has drawn, I don't think there's any room for doubt here.
What also doesn't help the case is that there was misinformation going around that Otto was canonically Jewish, so I don't think any of this is coincidental.
I feel awful writing this stuff up. I never wanted to make a post like this, but this was a case where I felt like I should not remain quiet. Once again, this is something that goes beyond fandom. Antisemitism is not something you ever, EVER want let through the door, ANYWHERE. I do not want it in this community, and you shouldn't either.
If any member of the Jewish community wants to correct me on anything or add to this, please do so.
Thank you.
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starandcloud · 20 days
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John "Soap" MacTavish Headcannons
This man can SPRINT in heels I will die on this hill
If it wasn't for the military, he'd sleep until noon
Probably work a nightshift too
He needs coffee to function, if he doesn't have coffee he's a grouch
Takes his time waking up, not an early bird
He needs like five alarms to wake up
Bathroom first kind of person
Sometimes takes a shower in the morning, depends on if he didn't the night before
COFFEE and juice
Sweet tooth, a horrible sweet tooth
Chocolate chip pancakes are his go to, or whatever the canteen has tbh he's not that picky
He sleeps in whatever, or just his boxers does not care-
He does not dress up, he's in a uniform and looks presentable 9/10 out of ten. He's in a t-shirt and sweats when he's not deployed
Takes a shower every night, sometimes multiple times in the same night if he still feels grimey after the first one
He doesn't take baths often, but when he does it has bubbles and a rubber duckie. He likes the simple things in life guys
He likes simple scents, nothing complex
He hates 3-in-1
He likes Mint toothpaste
He eats when he can, but has pocket snacks
He loves home cooked meals
He likes smoothies, the purple ones (that he can never remember the name of) he gets from a smoothie shop are his favorites
He never makes meals for later, he's not that organized-
Rarely has leftovers
Get's fast food once in a blue moon
Doesn't eat out much, unless it's a special occasion
He does most of the chores, he has a specific way he does things
DESPISES dishes, hates the feeling of the food being squishy and soft under his fingers
IMMEDIATELY washes dishes after using them
Does have a "laundry chair" but it doesn't last long tbh
Makes his bed in the morning, military taught him well
Has a car, but that's about it
Owns a car, but it's this little puddle hopper and it's beat up- He could afford a better car, but he's deployed a lot so he probably won't buy one
He literally takes his car through the biggest puddles ever, just to see the water arch. He's easily amused
Hates boats, especially after Graves
He has an Android
Special ringtones for everyone he cares about
He has it silenced 9/10, he silences it for missions and forgets to unsilence it
He has candy-crush on his phone and I will stand firm on this
He has the basic lock and home screens
He has snapchat but uses it for the filters, also has facebook for market place and Tiktok for the car videos
He has a few followers on Tiktok
He can block someone easy
He posts his cooking fails online
He probably has angered the baking/cooking niche online A LOT, dude probably has callouts from five years ago because he doesn't care-
He sleeps whenever, but totally has sleeping meds for his PTSD
He can either be up all night or in seconds, depends on how tired he is tbh
He's a light sleeper
He talks in his sleep, but it's mostly mumbles
Has nightmares more often than not
Has a bit of light from his TV, finds it hard to sleep without it
Sleeps with every window and door locked
Has his bed in the corner of the wall, hard to be attacked from both sides
His handwritting is damn near impossible to understand, sometimes Price has a hard time deciphering it
He's an outdoorsy type
The first memory is of being with him mom at a fair
He likes bread, just bread ;-;
He listens to literally everything, except classical it puts him to sleep
Very Artsy
He has Bachlers degree
He loves cats, and has one at his moms
Struggles with gifts tbh
He went from the tallest in his family, to the one of the shortest on his team
He's huge on physical touch, especially with his partner
He said something that made Ghost stop in his tracks once, and then ever did again. It was so stupid it was smart
Soap is so fucking sociable it honestly annoys Ghost
He really wants to get married, but doesn't want to put the stress of him always being deployed on his spouse and he doesn't want to die on them
He's allergic to Buckwheat, Shellfish, Balsam of Peru, Tegretol, and Cosmetics
Whenever something traumatic happens he shrugs and goes: "Well that happened" and goes on with his life
He has a lot of scars, mostly from war itself most of them are on his upper arms but some are on his chest and forearms
He has a scar from getting a gash on his leg when playing when he was a kid, he needed A LOT of stitches
He has one that looks like a cresant moon on his right hand ring finger
He honestly doesn't mind when people trace his scars, it's kinda soothing
A little kid once asked about one on his chest, which he got when a bomb went on prematurely, and he said he got it from a T-Rex to entertain the kid.
That was also when he decided he wanted kids, when the kids eyes blew open wide and they bounced on their toes asking more questions. Which he provided absurd answers until the kids mom rushed over and apologized
The one on his chest was from a near-death experience, learned really quick how to run really really fast
He holds his partner close during cuddling, if their back is against his chest his face in buried in their neck. If he's laying on top of them, he has his head against their stomach and his arms protectively around their waist, or if his head is on his lap he just gently holds them and usually falls asleep
He's close with all of his family but is 1n00% a momma's boy
He stims by making faces, which is slightly weird if you don't know him wel
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WIBTA for rehoming someone's turtle without asking them? TW for pet injury/mistreatment
I (29) have lived with my sister (27), her husband (26ish? Idk), and their kids (3 and 1) for about 8 months now, and life is great. Except. Because of course there's an except, or I wouldn't be here. I get along great with my sister and children, and this isn't about them, but her husband. I don't like him for a number of reasons (most of them due to the fact that he is an only child and doesn't really care about other people. I mean, he likes them, but doesn't really seem to register that it's not all about him. He's not like loud about it, but since I've moved in there's been a number of times my sister has said she wants to stay home and nap but he'll get pissy if he had wanted to go out and Do Something so she just kinda gives in and he gets what he wants.) He also has a pet turtle. He's actually intending to give away the turtle (has been since around when I moved in/maybe before idk) and has taken it out of the tank for transport to one of his friend's house, but keeps forgetting to actually bring it, or is having issues arranging a good time to drop it off or something. It's in an open storage container and has been for Some Time Now and the thing (container) is filthy. I don't think he's changed the water in a While and I feel bad for the turtle. It doesn't deserve that. So, would I be the asshole for giving it away on like Facebook marketplace or something? I don't even think he'd notice if it went missing. Or should I just arrange something with my sister (like it going to someone else, or the two of us dropping it off at the friend's house- I'm not going to release it into the wild or anything, and I don't think Doing Nothing is a choice either).
What are these acronyms?
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shigure · 2 years
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we've gone a decade without any major technological revolutions. we've had big changes, lots of refinement, fancier cartridges, newer programs. but the most impactful changes have been big companies deciding to switch to subscription service, with all of us powerless to stop them.
in the meantime, every day is the newest tech revolution. someone's started a new a.i. program. someone's designed an app to communicate with your team called teekup. it doesn't work. samsung has released a new phone, apple has released a new statement that they will be further taking away user privacy protections. we're oversaturated with ideas. not thinking ideas, just desperate vying for marketability. and the sick part is, even though all these people being interviewed about their new revolutionary product may as well have been built in a lab, they probably will starve if it doesn't go viral. they don't even have the creative freedom to give up on their idea. their best bet is delusion that they're offering a public service.
it's really not a surprise that nfts have taken off on the more corporate side of social media. techies need a new messiah. crypto saps need to believe some new shiny thing will somehow resuscitate their wallets. facebook's marketing team can't help but pray that they'll be able to sell something with the equivalent pull of bitmojis but for people under 40. and it's so easy to make them. you can just make a bunch of them. maybe one of them will sell, maybe not, but then you can give them away for free and lie to your boss that this counts as engagement. after the past few decades of the tech sector loudly trying to find a way to euthanize artists on the whole, this could be their big break.
everyone knows art doesn't pay. did you know law doesn't either? it used to be that companies would just hire hundreds of lawyers just in case, and you wouldn't have to do much of anything to get a fat paycheck. after the 2008 crash, these companies started downsizing, and asked if they really needed all these lawyers. so they fired them. haha! sucks to be them, these corporate lawyers leeching, now without a job and nobody is hiring. serves them right for hating art. for looking down on everyone else. if you were in law school in 2008, going in because your parents wanted you to make something of yourself, you left with no prospects. you worked at the apple store for a year, with a law degree. maybe someone came in that said all lawyers are liars, and maybe he's right, and maybe you would have looked down on him if you'd graduated five years earlier. but right now you're replacing his charging cable.
the crash didn't un-crash. nothing fixed itself. moderately well off people found new ways of not working, poor people got sick and died. uber started up, telling everyone they could be trendy and make money. airbnb started up, and the demand for housing just increased - not to live in, just to sell again and make money off of. we're still in the pit, and companies are starting to ask if they really need that many programmers. you went into tech because it would make money, and your parents wanted you to make something of yourself, and you're grappling with the despair of being a perfectly normal person in a world where only sterile talent seems to matter. of course you need ai art. of course you need nfts. tech was your path to literally just living comfortably. in 8 months you're going to be out of a job.
the apple store is still hiring.
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