oh i should give my thoughts on Final Draft since i finally finished it. spoilers below
so the ONLY thing i didn't like was that there wasnt a lot of new manuscripts or videos to find. i probably missed a couple pages because i didnt look around as much, but i am sad that the 3rd Darling video is gonna be for the Lake House and the 2nd Door video is gonna be for Night Springs. i dont mind waiting to see them but i wish the collectibles menu didnt list it as incomplete cause its not even in the game yet. but i'll gladly wait to see them.
okay on to actual thoughts.
finding the dark poems on the surface world was a big splash of whiplash, and i liked how they were placed throughout the game, especially with the order of how i switch realities, it felt perfect.
the beginning with Saga telling Casey that she used to be into geology and she helped Logan with a science fair project, but basically did it for her and Casey going "oh thats basically a CRIME, Anderson". that was adorable. i love their dynamic so much it hurts.
ALSO IM SO HAPPY THEY PUT IN THE LINES FOR THE SALT SHAKER MEMORY. i'll come clean and say i've heard the audio before from when my boyfriend went through the files, but it made me so happy to hear it in-game. Casey is so fucking cute. and the fact that Saga notes that Casey doesn't joke around with literally anyone else, showing that he trusts Saga so much. i love this man i love him i love him i need to nibble on him like a dog nibbles on a plush toy
Darling's videos were very fun to watch. i loved that he didn't really care that he was trapped in the Dark Place because to him it was just a new thing to research and make experiments with. i'm assuming after he realized Alan sounded like him that he tried not to think about too much at first, but that's definitely going to be something that fucks with his brain later
Darling and Zane fucked for sure im convinced of that. if i had to pair any other characters together besides Saga and Casey then it's Darling and Zane. fucking Zane saying Kippis as he takes a drink with him too. i'm killing this man. theres apparently a theory that they both created Alan and that's why he looks like Zane but sounds like Darling. if thats true, then Sam Lake is a fucking genius for making it that a brilliant artist and an advanced scientist made the stupidest writer son on the planet and it somehow worked. at least the one thing they have in common is all three of them deep down have selfish bastard tendencies.
but even if Alan's a bastard he loves Alice so so so fucking much and it was literally their love and memories of each other that brought them back together along with Saga putting some sense into him to actually think about others, not just him and Alice. i hope Alice is doing okay and that she got to be reunited with Alan as soon as possible.
Tor and Odin showing up in the Dark Place was adorable, and im so happy that apparently they're fine with Door now, after what happened in '88. i'm assuming what brought them to finally come to an agreement was that they wanted what was best for Saga and Alan. i hope Logan and David get to meet Tor and Odin at some point in-canon, even if its off screen. i'm still curious on what's gonna happen the next time Alan and Door meet, or when that's even gonna happen, but i guess that's either gonna be in the DLCs or even in Control 2. i also hope Tim gets out and gets to finally be face-to-face to Door, which is probably also gonna happen in either DLC or Control 2.
finally the ending. i thought it was perfect. i've seen people say it was too easy and that there shouldve been more ambiguity. i'll be honest, i think the ending is a perfect blend of closure and opened interpretation. Alan finally got out and Logan is alive now, which is wonderful, but now it's the question of what's happening outside the writer's room. what's going on at the Lake House? why did the FBC go dark? did Tim get out? are Saga and Casey now going to be dragged into the FBC full-time because Kiran deputized them?
we also still don't know what happened to Darling after meeting with Tom [at least i havent cause i refuse to watch the leaked third video]. is Darling gonna be able to figure out his way through the Dark Place? is he gonna get the chance to meet Door and Tim? is he gonna indirectly cause Jesse or Dylan or both of them to go into the Dark Place in Control 2? is Darling being the Dark Place a good thing at all? does he ever figure out how he ended up there after trying to stop the Hiss? is he aware that Trench is gone and Jesse is the new Director?
i think the most the ending does is just show that Alan's part in the RCU is MOSTLY done, at least for now. to me this looks like a chance for him to show up more often in other things and to maybe help with what's happening at the FBC. the most i hope for him at the moment is he meets up with Alice again, and ESPECIALLY meets up with Barry, though i hope the Blessed organization haven't done anything to him, which is another thing that i hope gets touched on.
anyways i'm very happy i finished it im so excited :]
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To all ends part 3
Aizawa x you
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
It didn't take long for Aizawa's resources to track the IP address down. What he didn't expect, though, was that you'd go as far as leaving the country to get away from him. His heart ached to the point he clutched his chest, trying to keep his breathing under control as his thoughts raced. You went to obviously great lengths to put so much distance between you and him, but the one thing he realized most was that since you left, he's been a mess. He loves you, and without you in his life, he feels incomplete. He went home, shower, shaved a bit, completely cleaning himself up before he made preparations to fly to the States to you. If when he got there and you told him you no longer loved him, he would leavSqpe you alone so you could move on and be happy, but hoped that you wouldn't turn him away.
It wasn't long till he was in the air, leg bouncing nervously.
---
Over the weekend, you completely forgot about the email you had left minimized on the work computer, unknowing that your co-worker hit send for you. Your weekend was uneventful, just restocking your groceries, doing chores around your apartment, and binge watching true crime shows.
The weekend seemed to drag since you moved out here, without work to distract you from your thoughts and the painful hole in your heart where Aizawa was. You couldn't help but ache thinking about him and how much you missed him, wondering if he's moved on? What you never would have guessed he was up to is searching for you.
Monday arrived, and you were back at the lab when one of the other assistants told you that you had a visitor. Curious who could it be, you didnt know anyone outside your job here. So you quickly made your way down to the lobby.
--
The elevator dinged, and the doors opened. There at the desk he stood waiting for you. Hair pulled back in a bun, he hated wearing a suit and tie, but wanted to look his best for you, still wearing his capture scarf as always. In his hand, a bouquet of sunflowers and roses. His nervousness skyrocketed as he watched you step off the elevator, freezing in your tracks when your eyes landed on him.
To him, you were as gorgeous as ever. Even though he could tell you were exhausted, you were still radiant. His feet carried him to you before he could even figure out what he would say.
"Y/N.." Aizawa whispered, afraid if he spoke too loud, you'd fade away, the way you always did in his dreams.
---
Tears pricked your eyes. You couldn't believe he was here. How did he find you? Your thoughts swirled, but you couldn't stop yourself from throwing your arms around his neck and start crying into his chest. You had missed him so badly, and thought he must hate you for leaving, but here he was.. looking for you.
---
As soon as you threw yourself against him, he wrapped his arms around you tightly, kissing the crown of your head. You two stayed like this for a few moments before you led him to an empty conference room to talk. He kept your hand in his, even after you both sat down.
Both of you tried to talk at the same time, chuckling nervously.
"Please, Y/N. Let me say what I came to say, and then I'll go if you want me to." He pleaded, silently waiting till you nodded shyly.
" I am so sorry for making you feel uncared about, unloved, so badly you fled this far without telling anyone. That you felt like you couldn't even tell those close to you.. I am sorry for neglecting you and our relationship. I was just trying to earn money picking up extra shifts and jobs so that i could give you your dream wedding down to even the slightest detail. I wanted it to be a day you would remember as the happiest day of your life because I didn't want to wait too long before marrying you, and i wanted to surprise you. I should have told you what i was planning." He paused to try to calm his pounding heart.
---
You looked at him with more tears threatening to spill from your eyes.
"Shouta.." You breathed. "My dream wedding is you being at the end of the asile, waiting for me. I didn't need a big fancy wedding or an expensive dress. I just needed you. I would have told you this had I known all the added missions and patrols you were doing were for that. I thought you were picking up jobs to avoid coming home..to me." You couldn't stop the sob from escaping you before you carried on.
"I felt so alone, like i had become a buden to you. I missed you, i missed us. But it felt like all that was gone. I couldn't.. i couldn't keep living there feeling that way. And i knew that the best thing for both of us was for me to leave because if there was a chance, I'd run into you, and if i did, it would hurt too much. I didn't want you to feel like you had to be with me, so i came out here where there was zero chance of that happening. Or at least that's what i thought. But how did you find me?"
Silence, other than the clock on the wall that kept ticking.
---
He reached up and cupped your cheek, brushing away the tears that slid down it.
"Baby, you are not a burden. You never have been, never will be. I am sorry I was so preoccupied that i failed to notice how much you were hurting and how much you needed me to be there. How I let you down.. I love you and have been searching for you since the day you left. I would still be looking. Had you not sent that email." He smiled softly, thinking about the email that led him back to you.
---
You blinked in confusion for a moment before realizing that your co-worker must have hit send before leaving that night.
Before you could open your mouth to say something, a knock at the door stopped you.
The receptionist poked her head in and informed you that you were needed back in the lab.
You stood up immediately and thanked her, trying to figure out what to say to Aizawa.
---
He beat you to it.
"Let me take you to dinner tonight."
---
You nodded, agreeing to meet him back in the lobby at seven o'clock.
Taglist:
@tired-teacher-blog
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dnd might start goin a little bit later but thatsss ok
we go home go sleep. cc wakes up in the middle of the night to see a desaturated blue jester at the window. we sleep in and marie leaves smoothies out for us but her and her children do not seem to be home. two kidu (kileon independant detectives unit) guards knock on the door and codos and damona hide while cc answers the door (harry and turf are still sleeping upstairs) they ask somethin about have you seen people with unnatural blue colored limbs and then leave. we head out on that quest the tci assigned us and we meet two old owlens on their farm and oh my god they are adorable theyre an old married couple and augh they offer to make us dinner when we get back from the lake even if we dont successfully unblock the water theyre just really sweet old people i love them. on the path were on we can ALL see a black and white jester writhing on the ground pretty fucked up and then it dies and fizzles away. we come up to a dam that was causing the water problem and make a bunch of percy jackson style dam puns before a guard fuckin disappears in the woods and then right after him a purple jester (only cc can see) comes out. says he is ferdinand and that "everything will make sense in due time" also he apparently looks kinda like ccs brother. we find a pipe in the ground and hear a voice through it and oh my god we spent like 30 full minutes fucking with this guy he was like "get off the scanner you arent supposed to be here" and we just kept stepping on and off and on and off god he hates us anyways we burn down the dam and fix the water issue. the pipe guys name is oliver and hes apparently the old owl peoples son. the woman old owl gives us cookies and the man old owl says he loves us and we all awwww and go on our way. murmur asks us to pick up a sword for her so we do AND WE GET IT FROM ANOTHER BOAT MAN-LIKE DUDE and an emo girl but boat man :) then we go back to tci headquarters and citrine and murmur are sitting with a guy who "stares sadly at the empty tables and chairs..." and i spend about 5 minutes going DIRK YOU FUCKIN DIDNT YOU DID NOT YOU DID NOT DO WHAT I THINK YOU DID anyways motherfucking marius hands us a letter they found on a guard that is "incomplete" but codos and damona can read all of it because blue and it saysssss "Goodevening bark, Thank you for your last letter, It seems that he has gotten closer to finding the Aersk site, although it runs in his veins, he won't believe a trail has gone cold until there's true evidence. I require you shut down the operation in June. Move the rig to somewhere closer, possibly the scattered pine? If you fail to follow i will be forced to take stronger methods, if you wish to pursue life I recommend you move fast. Wouldn't want to end up like Theriot, would you? Yours truly, Emperor Rylefion" which is hm. we take it and head back to maries where she says theres a letter for us and it is from june and is said to be from eivas. the letter inside is very much not in eivas's handwriting though and basically says "come back to june as soon as you can. emperors guards found where we were. eivas is in bad shape." and harry says its in drygon (bartender lady) handwriting. we have turf use a message spell to contact ollie and we go on the boat and timeskip back to june. we walk in and the place is like...messed up. we go up to eivas and theriots room and eivas is a MESS also doesnt have a shirt on for this whole conversation. hes basically like "a lot of people died everyone else is either moved to a different spot or captured. theriot..." and he kinda cuts off at theriots name so we all are like. "theriot got taken??" and we go down to turf and have him use another message spell to contact theriot (damona pulls out eivas's wallet to show turf what he looks like and codos gives like a general description of how he acts) and we message him like "hey. what the fuck happened? are you safe? where are you? were going to find you" and he responds pretty much immediately and is like "im safe. dont come looking for me. im were i belong" AND THATS WHERE WE FUCKING ENDED IM SOOOO
woahhhh the plots heating up!!! so much stuff happened this time omg. the jesters thing is really interesting, i wonder why only cc could see the purple one. and theriot omg 😨
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lowkey from a literary analysis standpoint, disregarding that ash is considered the protagonist, could banana fish be considered a bildungsroman? the part that immediately hit me with the bildungsroman vibe and thematic elements was in the end, despite everything, eiji had to grow by going back to japan to confront that he didnt actually fit into the grandiose narrative that he so craved in new york. of course, many dont agree with the narrative decision of eiji returning back to his normal life (myself somewhat included HAHA), but it really hits the full circle narrative that novels like catcher in the rye do, i guess. of course, while we look at ash as holden caulfield, with the narrative of the bildungsroman, eiji is the one who moreso fits as the protagonist. this also could explain why ash, unable to change, dies in the end, showing that he wasnt the true main character attempting to find his own way, or at the same time even could be seen as full circle, but at the same time he never really ‘grew up’, i guess. so with that, the bildungsroman narrative with ash is incomplete, but is complete with eiji. with eiji, his narrative completely fits his leaving to try and find himself, loss of innocence, spurring disenchantment, becoming disillusioned with the grandiose sense of life he was chasing, and thus ‘growing’ by returning to what he was doing before in his place in society. idk where i was going with this but lowkey i might write more on the subject in the future lol
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TW for abuse, mental health crisis, unreality, mental hospital mention
hi im a 19 year old and still living with my parents. ive been trying to move out since august and i planned to move out by december. in late december i was not having much luck with housing and i started having memories of not so great things my parents did to me throughout the years play in my head. i rly have no idea how to explain this confusing clusterfuck of a situation in just a tumblr ask but basically i want to know if the things my parents did count as sexual abuse.
from a young age my parents didnt respect my boundaries. my parents often touched my butt (it sounds so stupid calling it that idk what else to put) in seemingly nonsexual or accidental ways, but they didnt stop as i grew older. i remember the first time that i realised i was being sexually abused (thats how i thought about it at the time, idk). i dont remember what my dad did specifically but i was 8 years old-ish, i started puberty around then because my body hates me. it was probably to do with my butt/waist/ things and my dad touching them. we were about to go in a shuttle to the airport, it was like 2am. i remember i stayed silent through whatever happened but at some point during or after i remember bursting into tears and like... thinking to myself that my dad is sexually abusing me (i dont remember where i learnt what that is) and my dad asking me what was wrong but i refused to talk because i was scared. moments like these where my dad touched me in a way that didnt feel normal and i burst into tears happened multiple times. ive felt very uncomfortable around my dad for most of my life at this point. hes the kind of dad who doesnt talk about anything hes thinking or feeling, doesnt talk much at all or have many friends. we have rarely had conversations past surface level talk thats appropriate for strangers or acquaintances so i have never known whats in his head and whenever ive tried to get him to talk with me about something serious he shuts down and leaves. hes very neglectful emotionally, though he used to sometimes fulfil his emotional duties as a parent when i was a very young child according to my mum but he stopped at some point. for a really long time ive been afraid that my dad was sexualising me in his head or sexually attracted to me. ive grown up having nightmares about my parents raping me.
here are some of the things i remember my parents doing. some memories are not easily accessable and some have not been processed as an adult.
TW
-both my parent regularly touched my butt in a variety of contexts. i never confronted my dad about it because i knew he wouldnt answer me. i have learned to only hug my parents in a specific way so that my arm is always under their arms so i can stop them from putting their hands too low.
-my dad used to put his hand on my waist and hips/lower back. he was basically doing the kind of casual touch that you would do with someone ur in a sexual relationship with. he doesnt anymore because i have stopped allowing him to spend much time with me.
-my parents, mostly my mum have touched my breasts very lightly and casually. it could be seen as accidental but my mum has never responded to my frequent requests to stop touching me like this.
-my mum showed me her vagina once as... sex ed? i have no idea if this is normal which is kinda how i feel about most of the ?sexually? themed things my parents have done.
-my mum has always commented on my body in ways that made me very uncomfortable, such as often commenting on how i would be sexually harassed because of the outfit im wearing, even the necklace im wearing.
-my mum gave me several moderately detailed accounts of sexual assaults that hve happened to her, like for instance when i was around 6-9? she used a story of a sexual assault that happened to her while in a pool to say that i be afraid in public pools. the amount of detail was very unnecessary.
-one time my mum was telling me about how boys pinch girls buttcheeks to tell them they think theyre 'sexy'. then she pinched my buttcheeks a bunch of times even though i didnt want her to. im sure she did this many times and i was literally like 5 years old or something.
-my mum talked to my sister while i was in earshot about... how she would be ok with it if i married my 1st cousin? and she named him specifically. it made me feel rly weird around him.
-again my dad has always just given me huge predator vibes and ive always been super afraid of him.
this list is definitely incomplete but i dont remember anything penetrative or to do with anyone touching my genitals.
i tried to tell someone about the "sexual abuse" twice when i was 13, both during mental ward stays about 9 or 10 months apart. the first time is completely blacked out from my memory and the second one... they told the police. my dad was questioned and nothing happened because i never wanted anyone except the nurse who i told to know and refused to tell anyone any details. i just wanted to get a weight off my shoulders. instead i got a 3 or so year long period of my mum emotionally abusing me to a degree she never had. i was almost completely convinced that i had never been sexually abused. i still dont know if its true or not. the specific term my mum used was that i "mis-interpreted" my parents actions as sexual abuse. i didnt push back, i was too terrified of her and i just dissociated to cope with those years. i was very very isolated from anyone except my mum. i wanted desperately to be a young child again and felt like one most of the time. before 6 years old was the only period where i felt like my parents actually liked me.
when i was around 15 i started sexually getting involved with older men online. i wasnt attracted to them, i didntdesire them, i just was so traumatised from... whatevrr u want to call the way my parents treated me but i didnt feel that i had the right to be. i felt like i needed to get some "real" trauma and i dont want to say what i did but im lucky that none of these men ended up meeting up with me irl at least. the fucked up thing is that though it did traumatise me, i kind of felt better because i wanted something i could feel justified in being upset about.
now im 19 and my brain is hitting me with all these memories. i havent felt safe with my parents for most of my life. theyre neglectful and emotionally abusive towards me. they abused all my other siblings physically quite a lot and two of them have moved to different countries so that they can not live in the same place they grew up in. 2 out of 3 of my siblings have completely cut ties with my parents for years now. when i was 11 i recoeved an email from my brother telling me about our parents not being safe people.
ive started to consider the possibility of the constant violation of my boundaries counting as sexual abuse. i have a lot of sexual trauma symptoms and i have for a very long time. i grew up afraid that my dad was going to rape me. i think i was abused by my mum into associating holding my parents accountable with the punishment she put me through after she found out i reported them. i just want to know if im allowed to be upset about this. im terrified that this is normal, because if its normal that means i was a gross freak as a kid who just "mis-interpreted" these actions to be sexual abuse. i need to make sense of my reality somehow. im so confused.
you absolutely have the right to be upset by this. what they did to you was not okay. an adult touching a child intentionally in inappropriate areas is molestation, even if they played it off as not a big deal. many of the things you mentioned also sound like grooming which is often a part of childhood sexual abuse. i’m so sorry these things happened to you. i hope you are safe and can find a way to not be around your parents.
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Your heartbeat is disguised as mine.
This is a platonic oneshot between my OC Janessa Williams and Kit Herondale. Full disclosure, I am a nonbinary person writing about a binary Trans woman. I pulled all of the information for constructing Nessie's background and character profile from other peoples stories both fictional and real. If I have spread misinformation of any kind or written anything that members of the community find offensive, please let me know! I will fix it immediately. Also I'm a useless Demisexual so sometimes I blur the lines between romantic and platonic too much, but hopefully this reads as platonic. Enjoy!
Janessa Williams was in trouble.
It wasn't like this was an uncommon occurrence. Nessie had spent the majority of her life weaving in and out of dangerous situations, but in her defense it usually wasn't her fault.
Kids picking on her when she was younger because she was wearing "girls clothes." Angry people yelling obscenities at her while she was walking home and men threatening to beat her up in the middle of crowded places when she was still transitioning and looked more "obvious" according to some people. Whatever the fuck that meant. And Nessie knew it probably would have been even worse if she hadn't been white.
She relished in the fact that now she was a vampire she was essentially invincible. Like many other people, becoming a downworlder was a source of safety. Which is why it was so painful to hear shadowhunters talk about how "tragic" the creation of vampires and werewolves was.
There were girls whispering behind her back in high school. Just trying to go to the bathroom without there being some sort of public debate amongst her teachers and principal was also a factor.
Jenessa was certainly no stranger to conflict or adversity. But this? This was something else entirely.
Before she had died. Nessie had actually made a decent connection with other members of her community. Even making casual acquaintances was comforting. The queer community overall could be a bit of a shit show at times. With exclusionists, TERFs and biphobes rampaging about. But getting the chance to talk to other trans people was incredible. Especially Bi trans people like herself. But despite that she still felt as though something was missing.
Janessa still felt distant and isolated despite the fact that she now had everything she wanted. It was like a dark black cloud had plagued her for all of her teenage years. Depression. It wasn't just due to being in the closet or not being able to be her true self. It was just there. Corrupting her brain and dragging her down into despair.
It was that same despair that had lead to her death. And when she was reborn as a member of the undead, at first she hadn't exactly been grateful. But in time she had found her footing. Music, therapy, a new community of downworlders who were diverse, powerful and brilliant. She moved from LA to basically all over with her band. All of these things helped Janessa re shape herself and her new life into something better. Something stronger.
But yet she still felt a little isolated at times. A little incomplete. Like she was waiting for something.
Fuck that sounded so pathetic. But it was true. Or at least it was true until a wayward mess of a shadowhunter had wandered into the bar Nessie and her band played regular gigs at, looking for information on a particular downworlder.
Janessa was not pleased. She knew she needed to get this asshole far away from her and her people.
Kit certainly had other ideas. It would not be the last time they disagreed on something.
But she had noticed something that day. Something in his eyes. That same lost look of despair she recognized in herself. This of course hadn't stopped her from calling him an angelic, inbred, self righteous asshole and he had thrown his head back and laughed.
Despite Nessie's better judgement, she had decided to trust him that day. He had complemented her t shirt which said "In my defense, I was provoked" and her leather jacket which had the trans symbol on the back with the Bisexual flag as the background.
So she had helped Kit with his mission that day, which turned out to be pretty harmless, which then led to hanging out at the park after dark and eating fast food on the balcony of Ciernworth. He asked her questions about her life and her unlife. He asked the questions that she usually got about hormones and discovering her gender identity, and less common questions about becoming a vampire. She in turn asked him questions about his past and his coming out. Her fate was sealed that day. Janessa just didnt want to admit it.
And now, several weeks later that shadowhunter she had chosen to trust was currently sobbing into her arms.
"Kit it's gonna be ok alright? Just take some deep breaths" Janessa cooed. She was running one of her hands through his blond curls, and another along his back attempting to soothe him.
Kit gasped for air against his sobs as he pressed his forehead closer to her neck. "I mean-. Nessie I just-" he gasped, unable to properly get the words out.
Janessa shook her head. "Shhh no it's ok" she reassured him. "Take your time."
It broke her heart to see Kit like this but all she could do was focus on helping him. Not once did it occur to Nessie that she currently had a live human being pressed up against her, viens full of rushing blood.
She rubbed his shoulders. Kit sighed and began to speak in a more calm tone. "It's just that when I gave Magnus the necklace to give to- you know to him, it brought all of those old feelings rushing back you know?"
Janessa sighed. Him was Tiberius Blackthorn. The boy that Kit was hopelessly in love with. The boy that had broken his heart.
Janessa was most certainly not a fan. Anyone who made her friend cry was instantly on her shit list. Nessie was more then a little protective of Kit but she couldn't help it. He was always getting himself into trouble. Like the other day, dealing with the Devon Vampire Clan which Nessie was kind of a part of now that she was living in Devon temporarily. Kit was picking her up from a meeting so they could get Midnight snacks and play video games at her place.
The Devon Clan was really not happy to see a Shadowhunter. They antagonized her over trusting one of the nephilum. They called her a traitor to her own people. Janessa personally thought they were being a little overly dramatic. It led to a fight that most definitely put the accords in jeopardy.
Janessa also discovered that day that she and Kit fought beautifully together. Almost like Parabatai.
Whoah. Where the fuck did that come from.
Janessa heard a light snore from below her. Kit had fallen asleep in her lap. She snorted fondly. The emotional labour of crying must have tired him out. She didn't really blame him for that. As Nessie stared down at him, this shadowhunter who had become so significant to her, she wondered if this was going to end badly for her.
She could hear the words of hundreds of downworlders echoing in her head, including her own. Shadowhunters can't be trusted. Shadowhunters are selfish. Shadowhunters hate downworlders. They don't believe we're worthy of life so why should we be nice to them? Fuck them all.
And all of that was what she firmly believed.
Kit snored again.
Well for the most part.
It wasn't like she was in love with him. That much she knew. The thought of kissing Kit or dating him or anything like that made her quesy. But the idea of holding him while he cried, or laughing at his jokes, or even staying here watching his chest rise and fall and relishing in the fact that yes, he is alive, that sounded perfect.
Janessa scooped her arms under Kit's body and pulled him up off of the floor. "Come on Kit-Kat" she muttered. "Let's get you to bed."
Kit moaned in protest but didn't try to fight her as she pulled him over to her bed. Nessie could only hope that Kit had told his parents where he would be. Kit smiled sleepily at her and opened his eyes.
"You're my best friend you know?" He murmered.
Janessa swallowed down a sob. "Really?" She asked, trying to keep her voice steady. "I've never had a best friend before."
Kit closed his eyes. He was probably nodding off again. "Me neither" he whispered. He probably didnt want to count Ty considering all of the romantic angst.
And in that moment Janessa made a choice. She made the decision to lay down next to him and relax. She made the decision to forgive him for things that were out of his control.
She leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to his temple. "You're my best friend too ok?" She said softly.
And when she saw the slightest of smiles appear on his face, Janessa made another decision as well.
She let herself love him.
Your heartbeat is disguised as mine.
My lullaby.
The song I used for this fic is Always be together by Little Mix.
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THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER OF SKEKVAS EPIC ADVENTURE!!!
DONT CRY ALL GOOD THINGS END EXCEPT FOR ME I AM IMMORTAL
SkekVas had found the big arathim nest because he was resally smart.
He came out and into it and was looking around,
“Wow this is one big arathims nest,” and it was.
But where were the arathim?
“I dont know where the arathim are” said skekong because he was not as smart as skekvar and he could only notice things that werent there and not things that were there like the big size of the nest
“These arathim are planning to really destroy us this time” skekong said and skekvas rolled his eyes
“Good luck to them!” skekloch, “because were going to kick their butts!”
“Yes we are!” said skekvas, because i am here and i am leading you! So stop being so cowardly skekong!”
“I’m not being cowardly,” said cowardly skekong, “I am just saying thast we have an army of gelfling slaves for a reason why did we not bring them? This shows a lack of foresight.”
“I did say there were a lot fo arathim” said skekle, “Diod skeksin not say there were a lot fo arathim?”
“Yes he said it was big.” Skekvas as getting annoyed. It was stupdi that they should slow down the narrative flow by having a big conversation right as the action should be starting.,
“Skeksin probably pretended there were less to the emperor to send us down here to be killed!” said skekong and for once he was saying something smart.
Skekvas nodded his head and gave a big grunt to show he agreed,
“Yes, we will smash skeksin head in when we get back and we will pull his dress over his head and throw him in the moat”
“Good one!” said Skekloch, “I cant wait!”
They all laughed and then skekvas said,
“Biut not you skekle, dirty tramp.” and then skekle was sad because he was a trampy exile.
Just then the arathim arrived which was good because everyone was getting bored.
The arathim formed a big face and said,
“You dare come into our big nest? Your time has come! Ruination befall you! You have stolen our homes and our culture and now we will steal your lives and our planet back!”
Skekvas said,
“Die!” which was a good succinct war cry
The arathim attacked bu the skeksis were too strong and by skeksis i mean skekvas. The others were ok biut mostly they were cannon fodder and distraction. All in all skekvas was the most important one and if he hadnt have been there things would have gone wrong instead of right like he made it when he dragged it all out of the fire. He was pretty great. And also his hair flew like a lustrous mane when he did a might jump. When he did a mighty jump he swang his sword through the sair and it made a tching! Sound and it shined bright.
“Oh no!” sai dthe arathim is that the tri glaive again?!”
And Skekvas said,
“I dont think so!” and he did a big stab! He stabbed forward! He stabbed backwards! He stabbed left! He stabbed right! He stabbed all the bits in between and did several swings and circles and spun around and also he had a blade on his tail and two shields which he used with his second arms. His second arms were kind of small but its not about size its about how you use them.
Skekvas had thought hte sword was just cool but actually it kind of was liek the triglaive. The nasty piece of poo skekgla had run away with the original triglaive but skekrek had made this second one and skekvas used it with deadly skill to stab. He killed all the arathim basically on his oown and in the end he was bathed in blood and juices and smelling all musky and sweaty in a sexy way.
Also his hair was still perfect.
He brushed it out of his face and said,
“Phew! I have done so much killing and now i am feeling so sexy. And also i want a snack.”
“That was so much fun” said skekloch, “I love killing and i love spending time with my friends when we murder.”
“Me too said skekvas”
“Yeah” said skekong but skekvas rolle dhis eyes because skekong wasnt his friend and so he wasnt included in the sentiment.
Skekle said,
“You’ll tell the emperor about me telling skeksin and about how helpful iw as in this fight?”
“Were you?” said skekvas and they all laughed and skekvas punched skekle and skekle hid a big cry.
They were all tired but they collvected up some trophies and climbed back up the big hole to go home.
When they got home they walked into the throne room in slow motion. The emperor did a radiant smile
“Well done my general” he said#
Skekvas loved it when he said ‘my general’ and skekvas did a big bow.
The emperor did a big sniff, he could smell skekvas musky sexy murder smell
Skekvas and the other presented their war trophies and the emperor smile grew even bigger and skekvas knew he had done a really good job then he noticed skeksin skulking beside the throne looking like a hunched little crawly man and he grew inflamed with rage
“Skeksin tried to kill us!2 skekvas said, “he didnt say how big the arathim nest really was! We should have had back up!”
“Oh,” said the emperor, “did you not succeed?”
Yes said skekvas
“All by yourself?”
“Yes, said skekvas
“Then why did you need back up? Were you scared? Said the emperor
Skekvas felt his manhood shrink. He felt totally humiliated and tricked. No doubt skekong had said that stupid thing earlier to put the thought into skekvas head because he was working with skeksin to undermine skekvas because they wer eboth evil. Skekvas felt so small that all the fun of killing left him. His day was ruined. The emperor laughed at him and then arranged for a big feast.
At the big feast everyone had fun except skekvas. They all through a big party and had a blast and had a lot to drink. Skekvas drank a lot too but that was only so he could hide the fact that he was not smiling by holding his cup in front of his face. He had really thoughthat this time he would make his big impression but skeksin schemes had undermines him again and ruined everything.
Why does this always happen to me? Skekvas thought
I am so perfect, handsome, smatt, strong, and sexy? Maybe that is my pronblem?
But he couldnt figure out how it could be.
After the dinner skekvas went for a wlk. He couldnt sleep and he just felt bad and goning to a walk and finding animals to kill sometimes made him feel better and if not he would punch a tree until he was too tired and then go to bed. He walked for a long time and stood in the shade of a big tree and looked at the big castle with all the light son in the windows. It eaz beautiful and it was his home. But he also felt sadness there feeling like he couldnt do enough as he wanted to do.
Why am i destined to be incomplete? He thought, thinking a deep thought,.
He often thought deep thoughts.
“I wish that i could just kill skeksin but i am a hero and a hero abides by the rules and it would make the emperer mad and he would banish me. I dont evr want to be away from his side but benign with him feels like ia m so close but not close enough.”
“If only he could see that i am perfect for him he would let me sit with him a the dinner table and maybe hold his hand.”
Skekvas gave a big sigh. In the shadow of the big tree he held his own hand and pretended it wasnt his. This is something heroes do a lot because part of being a hero is being selfless and able to withstand great personal torment like an aching heart and a heldless hand.
After a while skekvas stood up. He knew he was realy strong not just in killoing and in his large powerful muscular body but in his mind and will and heart too. Skekvas knew that love was the only thing you didnt share and so was heartache. His heartache was his burden for being a hero and also being the strongest. And the best.
“The emperor will see that i am amazing and he will want to hold my hand and touch my beautiful body and run his fingers from my flowing mane of hair.”
He said this outloud because it was his vision and he wanted the world to hear it and know it was going to be true. Heroes have to have a vision thety fight for. This was skekvas vision the vision fo the glorious beautiful radiant emperor shining and sparkling like the moons. Skekvas went back to the castle. He had an important mission.
His important missionw as he gathered all of his friends and even skekong who had insisted, under pressure, that he had genuinely thought skeksin was a liar. The friends all gathered together and using the power of friendship they lifted skeksin up in the air while he was screaming and they threw him over the balcony and into the moat. The emperor was watching snd he did a big laugh and smiled at skekvas. Skekvas knew this was a sign. Skekvas had thought his hardest trial would be to kil the big arathim but that had been easy because skekvas was so strong and powerful and a good fighter. No. his greatest trial was withstanding the evil trickery and lies of skeksin that keopt stopping the emperor from falling in love with skekvas. The emperor giving a smile was a clear sign that he would definitely fall in love with skekvas soon. This was an epic end to skekvas epic story. Maybe there will be a sequel where they kiss i dont know. That would be cool i think. I think that would be really good if they kissed.
This is the end of the story. I know maybe you thought it would be more triumphant but actually this is a story for adults and you realise when you are wise like me that sometimes life isnt all big victories. Life is very complociated and you can have good battle and lost wars and bad battles and won wars. The trick is to keep fighting. Except when it is better to stop fighting. But most of the time to win a war you haver to do some kind of fiughting. Just be good at fighting is my advice. I know you have enjoyed this story and you are probably wishing it was more but like all the best stories it is only three parts because i ran out of things to say towards the end. Feel free to tell me how my writing has changed your life for the better.
You’re welcome
Love,
SkekVar
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My Favorite Pairing
Dr. Bryce Lahela x F!MC (Dr. Alessia Lyxienne)
(The moodboard was my aesthetic for Bryce and Alessia’s relationship! I hope you all liked it! 💖😊 ALSO, I APOLOGIZE FOR THE REPETITIVE PICS FOR THE QUOTE. I DIDNT REALIZE IT UNTIL ITS TOO LATE 😅)
Thank you for the tag @bitchloveskcbaseball and @mvalentine ! I had fun knowing your fav pairing! I hope all of you enjoyed the long description for their relationship. ❤❤
P.S: A few of the points were taken from the book itself, and some of them were my imagines for them! Some of them had appeared on my fics and, a few of them was just... something to have fun with!
Book: Open Heart
Pairing: Dr. Bryce Lahela x Dr. Alessia Lyxienne (I used a different name in my playthrough, but her personality is based on Casey from my fics! And, its just... the same person but a different name!)
Relationship status: Not official yet! They are still casual eventhough they are somehow official on how they act with each other. They are indeed in love with each other. (PB, WE NEED TO BE OFFICIAL SOON WITH OUR LI’S!)
Song(s): I Like Me Better (Lauv) // Delicate (Taylor Swift) // More Than Words (Extreme)
Ideal date: They don’t have dates often since their schedule would be tight by working in a hospital! But, they would have unexpected dates either at 4 in the morning or 8 at night. Bryce would always encourage Alessia to live in the moment! Their dates can go from a rooftop date, a movie night date and sometimes.. just talking to each other whilst enjoying each other’s company in the doctor’s lounge would count as a date! Sometimes, they would just go to any concert venue that Bryce had found out from a friend or co-worker.
A show they watch together: Alessia enjoys watching sitcoms! Sometimes, they would just have their day-off binge watch Brooklyn 99 or FRIENDS, any sitcom that could ease her mind after a long day! . (which I am obsessed now lol) Sometimes, they would do a Disney marathon with Keiki as Alessia would share a piece of her childhood with both Bryce and Keiki!
Their favorite meal to share: Alessia is definitely a Joey! (Joey doesnt share food lol) especially during the time of the month where she would eat a whole tub of ice-cream on her own! But, Bryce would definitely share his food with her. Sometimes, when Alessia is being nice... she would definitely share, but... in the end... She is Joey Tribbani.
Favorite thing about each other :
Physically:
1) Alessia’s top favorite would be his bods and abs! (I mean who doesnt lol) Above all that, Alessia love his eyes. Everytime he holds her gaze, she would definitely melt! Besides, his hair! Something about his hair make her smile, its messy and unique its own way. Finally, she loves his magic hands (DUHHHH) !!! Those arms when they were hugging made her feel at home and she really enjoys all the hugs he give!
2) Bryce’s favorite thing about Alessia would be her smile. He would try his very best to make her smile, and its just lights him up! Besides, he really loves her hair! He would playfully ruffled it sometimes making her mad, but... she really didnt mind! To put it short, everything about her is beautiful in his eyes. Every time she would be insecure about herself, he would be the one to show her that she is amazing, just the way she it.
Personality:
1) Alessia adores Bryce’s confidence! She sometimes would get jealous at his confidence since she is far from it. Alessia adores his flirty banter that made her laugh everytime, as he would flirt at her every chance he gets! But, above all... Alessia adores seeing his vulnerable sight! They would have late night talks and, she loved seeing his walls come down as she saw the real him. Like, the moment Bryce revealed his past to her. She somehow, felt more in love towards that persona of him.
2) Bryce adores her empathy towards her patients. Especially in the Mr.s Martinez case, where she wanted nothing but to make her dreams come true. At that moment, he had fallen deep. He knew she was an amazing doctor, but... seeing her being selfless towards her patients made his heart soft. Also, his heart went aww everytime Alessia and Keiki are bonding. The way she cares for Keiki made him happy, as she loved her like a sister she never had.
Who …
made the first move: Definitely Alessia! She took the chance in the supply closet at him and the rest is history. *winks*
cooks better: Neither of them! Alessia knows a few basic recipes and that’s all. They would either order take-out or do a cooking marathon with Keiki whilst watching the Food Network! (And they would make a huge mess afterwards)
dances better: Bryce Lahela all the way! I would imagined Bryce being trained when he was young since he is from a well known family before he rebelled against his parents! Bryce would often lead the way as they danced with each other at the bar or even, just... dancing in his living room to live into the cliche fantasies that Alessia enjoys!
wakes up first: Both! Since their doctors, they would be waking up as early as 4 AM! Sometimes, they would survived an all nighter together.
is funnier: Bryce Lahela! Alessia tries to be the jokester, but... she would failed miserably. One day, she attempted on a joke and.. nobody laughed. She never jokes about anything after that unfaithful day.
is more organized: Alessia! She has been an organize persona. She could be a messy person depends on her mood. Sometimes, she would have a clean room, but.. when she is in during her mood swings; it would be a mess. Bryce is a bit of both (50:50) He can be organized at times since sometimes he dont have much time to do all the tidying! But, with Keiki around.. the house tends to get more organized as she would fill her time by doing some organizing at his apartment.
has a better taste in music: Bryce would have a good taste in music since he would often explore what’s new! (He love to take Alessia on random concerts as and just... live in the moment.) Alessia’s taste is a bit old school in Bryce’s opinion since she loved all the classics from the 80s that was influenced by Alessia’s family. Bryce would sighed everytime she played her playlist but deep down he enjoys it and have been caught humming through a few of her favs!
is more romantic: Alessia! She is a hopeless romantic at heart, and sometimes.. she would imagine herself dancing in the rain with Bryce! She would practice in front of the mirror to ask him, and.. she ended up stuttering as she invites Bryce to dance on their way to Donahue’s! He laughed at the suggestion, and they would dance on the sidewalk as Alessia imagined in the movies! (It is their own secret *wink*) Bryce has its romantic side, as he knows how to make her flushed instantly! But, if they had a contest.. Alessia would win in this game named Love.
is more likely to scream at the sight of a spider: 100% Alessia! She has this fear of everything bugs related. Bryce would mock her about it and he loves teasing her about it.
cries more at movies: Definitely Alessia! She is a sensitive bean at heart, she cries at anything. She once cried watching a Disney movie and Bryce would comfort her at times. Bryce didn’t cry while watching since he is not ‘weak’ but... he has it moments because Alessia once caught him wiping tears away whilst watching Toy Story 3 although, he would never admit it.
is more likely to steal all the covers at night: Both of them! Mostly, Alessia since she would always fall asleep in a cocoon and without it, it would feel incomplete! Sometimes, Bryce would hog the blanket as a way to make her curled up around him. And, most of the times... the covers would be gone from the bed since they had a war on who can take it! (The end result is, neither of them lol)
the first to fall in love: DR. ALESSIA LYXIENNE. Her hopeless romantic persona makes her fall for him, when their first encounter at the supply closet! She realizes she is in love with him, when everything good about life ; he would be the first one to know! Despite, their early moves (hooking up and etc ) towards one another,she knows that Bryce means a lot to her and she can’t imagine a life where Bryce Lahela didnt exist.
the first to say I love you: It’s both of them, maybe... they would say to one another after an adrenaline rush! Or.. Alessia would suddenly blurted it out, after she had talked about it with Keiki who is shipping them silently! (THIS IS MY HEADCANON, but.. its gonna change depends on the book!)
Bonus: Bryce and Alessia would get matching bracelets and ended up getting tease by their friends! Bryce found it quite cheesy and cliche, but... deep down he is very excited about it. // Alessia would silently take loads of pics of Bryce especially when he is in a candid especially when he is eating, she gushes about him a lot on her pictagram making her friends frustrated at the amount of Bryce content she posts online!
Tagging: @storyofmychoices , @raleiighcarrera , @lahellacute , @aylamwrites , @mrsbhandari , @brycelahel , @choicessa , @princess-geek , @lahellacute , @kacie-0156 , @simp-for-villains , @annekebbphotography , @brycelahel , @mrsbhandari , @dcbbw , @fantasyoverreality98 and anyone who wants to do it! (I AM TAGGING MY TAG LIST SINCE THIS IS SOMEHOW A FIC-ISH // HEADCANON FOR BRYCE AND MC IN THE FUTURE.)
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Gotta Find You (Jungkook x You) (ONESHOT)
A/N:I dont know if this angsty, but its inspired by BTS- Heartbeat and Joe Jonas - Gotta Find You. 💜
To me Heartbeat is about lovers/group of friends who are separated, living in a different world but always known something is missing, that they are fated to do something else together with each other. So they feel incomplete and empty before meeting one another eventhough they lived a full life (somehow like how bts are before they meet each other, all the farmer and pianist stuff you know?) and after they get together, they achieve something wonderful, (which is the most wonderful group in the world of course 😂) and when something tears them apart, they went all out to search for each other again to feel complete (even if its too late)
Well.. that is my understanding of the song but I dont know what I wrote and I almost didnt post this bcs I feel like it sucks so bad 😭 but please, try to enjoy it 💜
Jungkook, are you alright?" Namjoon looks back behind him to the maknae who stops midway.
"Y-yeah.. just that..." Jungkook puts a hand on heart, feeling it racing. "Shes here hyung,"
"Who's here?" Namjoon looks at him puzzled.
"My soulmate. My soulmate is here. Shes out there, in between thousand of our fans out there hyung,"
Namjoon looks at the younger as if he is crazy.
"What are you talking about Jungkook? What soulmate? Is this one of your anime crap again?"
"No hyung. I dont know who she is, or what she looks like, or her name or anything about her. But I know shes here, and when I see her, I'll know hyung,"
"Okay, stop being weird. We are minutes away from starting our show. Can you stop being weird Kookie?" Namjoon sighed. This is not the time to be crazy.
"No hyung, you dont understand. I have always known. When shes sad, or shes happy or shes mad... I know it sounds crazy, but I know, no matter how far apart we are, or how different our worlds are, we are bound to meet and be together, because.." Jungkook smiles. "We are fated to be. Its already written, our fates. Shes my heartbeat hyung, and I'm hers,"
"Okaaayyy... I seriously have no time for crazy right now. Lets go!" Namjoon pulled his hand and ran to the other members to do their motivational circle chant. "Goodluck, lets do our best and lets have fun guys!"
The show went well and Jungkook and Taehyung are playfully running around the stage, waving goodbye to their fans before ending when Jungkook froze, eyes locked with someone in the crowd.
"Hey Kookie? Whats wrong? All okay?" Taehyung whispered, brows furrowed in panic.
"Its her. I found her hyung," Jungkook mumbled.
"Found who?" Taehyung was confused and dumbfounded.
"Her.. my soulmate..,"
/////
Jungkook plays with the necklace hes been wearing for do many years, fiddling the strap as his mind wanders. The noisy background of his hyung playing around while getting ready for their concert in a few hours doesnt bother him at all.
"Hey, you okay?" Jungkook looks at the voice to find Taehyung looking down at him, smiling. "You seem out of it," his eyes didnt miss the way the maknae's hands fiddling with the necklace. "Y/N?"
Jungkook lets out a soft smile.
"Who else hyung? Who else would have occupied my mind like this?"
"What are you thinking about? You can tell me Kookie," Taehyung take out a chair and sits besides the maknae, smiling. Jungkook sighed.
"It was at a concert exactly like this that I first met her hyung,"
"I know," Taehyung smiles. "I was there remember. I thought you were having a stroke," he laughs, making Jungkook smile too.
"I miss her hyung,"
"I know you do. We all know. And we all do too," Taehyung gives a sad smile. "But you will see her again yeah?"
"Will I?"
"You will Kookie. I promise," Taehyung pats his back. "Afterall, you are soulmates,"
/////
Y/N had the shock of her life when one of the members himself ran after her after the concert is finished. At first, she thought maybe its a fan cosplaying as Jungkook or something and ran after her because she left something. But standing a meter away.. looking straight into his brown doe eyes and bunny grininng smile, Y/N is almost 100 percent sure that its the real Jeon Jungkook.
But when he opens his mouth and breathe out oh so slowly, "Its you," Y/N got confuse again. Is this one of her old long lost friends that she should know?
"Uh.. excuse me?"
"Its you," Jungkook took a step closer and hold her hands which she retracts immediately.
"I-I think you have the wrong person S-sir. I dont know you," Y/N stammered.
"I dont know you either," Jungkook laughs. "But I know its you,"
"Huh?" Y/N was starting to think that he is absolutely crazy.
"I know it doesnt make sense, but.. lets get a coffee with me. Right now. Your choice of place and I'll tell you everything,"
"Errr..." Y/N ponders for a moment. Even if she picks the place, he can still kidnap her or kill her or something right?
"You can pick somewhere where there are a lot of people. And you can even tell your friend that you are going out with me. Here, take my photo and give it to them. Better yet, take my number and my identification photo," Jungkook smiles and place his ID on her palm. "Feel more secure now? I'll give whatever you need, I just want to talk to you. Need to,"
After thinking for a few more moments, Y/N finally agrees after passing all his details to her friend. Of course, not after a 5 minute high pitch shreik she received atter her friend recognized the man as Jeon Jungkook.
"So.. uh.. what do you want to tell me Jungkook-ssi?" Y/N asks as they sit face to face at a crowded coffee shop, Jungkook in a mask.
"Well..." Y/N can hear his smile. "Y/N, you are my soulmate and I have been looking for you since forever,"
/////
"Come on you two. Enough being sad. Its show time," Namjoon stand between them, patting both their backs.
Taehyung winks at Jungkook, giving him the encouragement he needs and get a smile in return.
"I'm not sad hyung!" Jungkook laughs, although he perfectly know he cant hide anything from his hyungs.
"You got that right Kookie. You have the whole world at your feet, you have everything you have ever dreamed of, yeah? And most importantly, we have each other," Namjoon smiles.
"We do hyung. We always do," Jungkook nodded and follow his hyungs to the stage. He does have everything. Supportive family, incredible hyungs, lovable fans and he is doing what he loves, and good at, even being paid for it. But no matter how perfect or successful he is right now, it will never be the same without her.
///
It took a while for him to convinced her about his crazy theory. Its hard to believe, but deep inside Y/N know what he is saying might be true. Her life, as perfect as it is, just doesnt seem... complete. She always feel thats hes destined for more, for something else, for someone else. All her relationship never lasts, theres always this empty feeling in her. But after she starts knowing about Jungkook's group and seeing his face on TV and magazines, it just feels different. Which is why she went to their concert in the first place.
And right now, listening to what he saying, describing exactly what she's been feeling. The feeling she cant even put into words, she knows hes telling the truth.
"Y/N, no matter how far apart we are, or how different our worlds are, we are bound to meet and be together, becaue its already written. You are my fate, and I will always find you,"
Those words struck a cord in her and with a smile she agreed to give him a chance, to get to know him,
And well, 3 years later, here they are, madly in love and finally ready to tell the world about them.
/////
Jungkook tighten the scarf around his neck and put his gloved hands inside his coat pocket. The weather is cold but he still insisted to take a walk. Its the perfect time to do so, since all his hyungs are all exhausted after their concert and immediately retreated to their room once they reach their dorm, so no one will interfere or asks him what hes doing or where he is going.
Jungkook walks through the night, pulling the mask that covers his face even closer. He has been warned to always conceal his identity, no matter where he goes. Even just for a short walk in a nearby neighbourhood.
You are an international star, somebody is always watching you, they said.
And looking at every passerby that keeps glancing back everytime they walked past him, the giggles and the whispering, he knows they are right. No matter where he go, people know who he is. People are watching.
This is the life he chose. And he dont mind it.
Until her.
/////
"But manager-nim, we want to go public. You have to understand," Jungkook flashed his doe eyes to the manager, making him sigh.
"You," he turned to Y/N who is frozen to her chair. "How about you? Do you want to go public?"
"I-I.. uh...,"
"Dont be afraid baby, tell him. I am right here. Always, remember?" Jungkook smile and squeezes her hand for strength.
"W-well," Y/N gave Jungkook a small smile. "If its the best for Jungkook.. and it makes him happy, then yes. I want to go public with him,"
"It wont be good for him!" The manager snapped, making her jumped. "You think I am doing this because I simply want to ruin your life or something? I am doing this for his own g-"
"Good?" Jungkook snickered. "My own good? Manager-nim, we both know its for the company's own good. And since I am not under any dating ban, I am just asking out of courtesy, so no matter what you say, I am going public. I love Y/N, and I want people to know that too," Jungkook slammed the table and drag Y/N out, not looking back.
"Are you sure its a good idea Kookie?" Y/N asked in a small voice as she snuggle closer to him in their bed. "Maybe your manager is right..."
"Hey baby," Jungkook smile and stroke her hair. "Everything is going to be alright. As long as you love me and be by my side, its going to be alright,"
"But-"
"No buts," Jungkook sits up and looks at her. "I told you so many times baby... I have known that I will love you with everything I am even before I met you. And when I see you there at the concert... after so many years.. you think I am going to ever leave you? I love you. And its not just a normal kind love baby, my feelings for you are magical, supernatural, beyond everything anyone could ever imagine," he grins. "And you think I am going to let some manager stops us, you are crazy,"
Y/N's heart soften a bit after listening to him, leaning in closer and hugs him.
"I love you Jeon Jungkook,"
"And I love you L/N Y/N. And I promise you, no matter how far apart we are, or how different our worlds are, I will find you, we are meant to meet and be together, because you are my fate and I am yours baby,"
/////
Its for her own safety Kookie. You know its the right thing to do," Taehyung gave him a small smile and pats his back. We will wait for you in the van. Take all the time you need okay?"
Jungkook sigh and looks back at Y/N whos lying in bed with tubes and wires all over her as his hyungs all retreat to the van waiting outside the hospital.
Going public isnt a good idea afterall. It started with virtual harresment and then it quickly starts being physical and within just one simple second where they both decide to forget about it and just live their life, Y/N ended up in the hospital.
Jungkook take her hand and rubs it slowly as Y/N stirs and open her eyes, smiling at the sight of him.
"Hey..."
"Hey baby," Jungkook cant help but feel the tears pooling in his eyes. Seeing the love of his life in this condition, all because of him.. everything is too much.
"Why are you crying? I'm fine," Y/N smiles. "Hey, I love you. And you said, no matter what happens, as long as I am besides you, we will be okay right? I am beside you right now Jungkook, although like this..," she lets out a choked laugh.
"How can you even joke right now?" Jungkook frowned.
"Because joking is supposed to make you smile," Y/N smile and reached out to touch his face. "I love you Jungkook, no matter what,"
"I-I have to tell you something," Jungkook takes a deep breath.
"I already know Kookie," Y/N smiles.
"N-no you dont. How can you? Let me say it Y/N,"
"I heard your hyungs and your manager Kookie. You guys are pretty loud. I'm not dead you know," she giggles.
"Y/N, let me explain so you will understand..."
"I understand," Y/N smiles at him but tears are rolling down her face.
"You are not supposed to understand! Im leaving you Y/N. I have to leave you because of my career! My stupid career! You are supposed to scream at me, hate me, hit me!" Jungkook's whole body shakes, angry tears running down his own face. How could they make him do this? Telling the love of his life that they are over, while shes laying in a hospital bed? For the same reason he needs to break up with her?
"But I do understand Kookie. I love you, thats why I understand," she squeezes his hand tight.
"I-I cant do this,"
"You have to Kookie. I wont let you choose me over your dreams. I wont!" Y/N shakes her head as much as she can with her condition.
"B-but you are my dream Y/N," Jungkook starts to sobs. "I didnt know what I was missing until I found you. How can you ask me to let you go?"
"Because I will always be with you Kookie. We might not be together, but you know I'm always with you. In there," she smiles and points to his heart. "In there, I'm always yours and you are always mine. Yeah?"
"I cant do this without you. I was only by myself before, if I didn’t know you baby, maybe I’d have given up. You make me everything I am today!"
"Lies Kookie," Y/N giggles between her tears. "You are already great before you met me and you will be great without me. I promise. Do this for me. Okay?"
Jungkook looks down, shoulders shaking as he sobs, hands squeezing hers tight.
"Hey.. dont be like this," Y/N pouts and slowly reached out for her necklace on the bedside table and place it in his palms. "As long as you have this, know that I am here, waiting for you. Come find me Jungkook. When you are all done, come fine me, and I'll be here, waiting for you,"
Between sobs Jungkook looks at the face that still keeps on smiling at him. Between all their ups and down, never failing to smile at him.
"I will find you. I will come back and get you. I promise," Jungkook swore to her and most of all, to himself.
"I know you will Kookie, you always find me. Because-"
"You are my destiny,"
/////
Jungkook stops at the sight of a huge billboard. A billboard filled with the seven faces, faces of him and his hyungs.
Namjoon was right. He have everything he had ever wanted. But even from the first day, something always felt missing, something always tells him that theres something more for him out there, somethimg is wrong, until he met her.
Now thats shes no longer with him, no matter how successful and fullfilling his life seems to be, it will never be enough.
He looks up again at the billboard, his own smiling face staring right back at him. Is this enough? Is this what hes meant to do for the rest of his life? Even if it meant that he will feel this empty feelings every single day?
He slowly take out his gloved hands from his pockets and fiddle with the necklace again. Clasping the locket tight, Jungkook whisper softly, "I found you princess.., I'm coming to see you..."
/////
"I know its hard Kookie, but you know its for your own good right?" Namjoon looks back from the front seat of the van at the maknae. Jungkook just nod weakly.
"You will see hee again Kookie. After everything is over and done, when you are free to do whatever you want, you will see her again," Namjoon tries to make him feels better.
"Yeah?" Jungkook looks at his hyung weakly. "And what if I dont? What if over and done is too late?"
/////
Jungkook continues walking in the cold air until his feet takes him to rows and rows of cold grey stones and he stands in front of one.
"Hi princess..." tears rolls down his face, no sign of stopping. "You promise me you will wait for me to find you, but you lied didnt you? I-I'm sorry I was late... I-I'm sorry I was late to find you.." He knelt down, the ground still fresh, proving to Jungkook of what he doesnt want to believe is real and traced the cold grey headstone with his fingers.
L/N Y/N
Lover. Friend. Daughter
Forever Be Missed.
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Why are Kpop Predictions so... negative?
I'm not one to humor people who do Kpop Predictions (and for free? really? ya'll out here "spilling info/tea" about celebrities for FREE? IN THIS ECONOMY?). I just find them laughable/amusing because of how inaccurate they are 95% of the times, while toying with the fandoms' emotions. Creating unnecessary drama and stress about things that anyone with a common sense and logic could've predicted all on their own.
But to give you guys an idea, here are a few by category:
#1. Twitter based Kpop Predictions
I’ve always had this MAJOR feeling that the great majority of them are run by THE SAME person on different accounts (kinda like how on Tumblr we're allowed to "manage" different blogs for whatever we may need 'em). Cause if you pay close attention they ALL share the same pattern:
SAME moon/crystal ball Icons
SAME way of "predicting" events ( *coughCOPY/PASTEcoughcough* )
They ALL go on hiatus at the SAME TIME and when they finally return they give the SAME excuse that they were depressed, drained of energy, mental blockage/migraine from predicting so much.
They throw shade at other prediction accounts and accuse them of "copying" them since they're "the original one."
They throw random predictions per day that never come true and when they don't and get called out its always the same excuse of "you choose what you want to believe" or "I never said it was gonna happen NOW, it could still happen in the future." (even after saying they would during the current year lol).
The great majority of these accounts are BIASED AF and mostly run by delulu shippers who tease the followers with incomplete information to keep ‘em interested.
🐍 Note: The one thing that I heavily dislike about these is that it's been proven in previous years that these accounts either work with or buy information from Sasaengs or insiders within the companies. Which is a big NO-NO in the Kpop community since Sasaengs are disgustingly invasive and have zero disregard for the Idol’s personal life and safety.
#2. Youtube Kpop Predictions/Tarot Card Readers, or as I like to call them: the "super-tragic-always-negative-BTS-are-gonna-disband-this-year-or-the-next-under-super-tragic-circumstances" accounts.
These youtubers are known for spending and wasting 15-20 minutes of their videos (and viewers lives) doing self-promos and showing off the different card decks that they've just recently bought (as if the predictions change based on whether or not you're using a Classic Arcana or a Sailor Moon/Pokemon/YuGiOh with limited edition EXODIA & Shadow Realm included deck)
And as mentioned above, ALL of them give super tragic/negative predictions, especially when it comes to BTS.
Like I remember at the start of this year, there were around 10 (or more) of them saying that BTS would either disband in mid or near the end of 2019. 5 of them stated (in COPY/PASTE fashion) that 2 members would either abandon the group to pursue solo careers, or that 1 would leave and the other would be kicked out for either health issues or this super huge controversial scandal that would ruin BTS' or the member's image and something about "diva behavior" or that the same member was a huge bully towards the others (and annoyingly enough, all of them kept pointing to both Jin and Jimin for some strange reason).
But as we've seen, 2019 came and practically went and BTS are still together, still thriving. Maybe one or two "dating rumors" here and there during their "time off" that died in a span of 1 month or so and everyone went on with their lives because it was found to be the product of antis wanting to start shit because everybody wants a BTS scandal (and of course, close to AWARD SEASON *LE GASP*).
So now those same "psychics" are correcting themselves and making up excuses that "they didn't have all the info" or "misunderstood it when they first got it".
🐍🐍 Note: I found it both hilarious and ignorant how the great majority of them are using the "members will start to leave one by one" as a sign of the group disbanding, when we know that starting next year they'll start enlisting in the military which is MANDATORY FOR ALL MEN IN KOREA. Meaning that all Male Korean Idols go through this process and DOES NOT necessarily mean imminent disbandment.
🐍🐍🐍 Extra: Oh yeah, can't forget that one account who said that all Kpop groups are part of the illuminati and they’re using some MK-Ultra shit on the fans through their music which is why fans all over the world now like Kpop and made it famous. Can't forget about those or someone will fight me. (The person deleted their channel too)
#3. Tumblr Kpop Predictions
*SIGH* .... where to start with this one....?
The group in this category is a strange hybrid between Twitter, Youtube and Wattpad/AO3. 'Cause i swear that some of the stuff I've read in a few of these account posts. while browsing for BTS. look like they were taken straight out of a super Angsty, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Soulmate AU, 30 chapters summarized into a oneshot fic.
So you'll be either heavily disturbed or highly entertained at how creative the person is with their "reading".
Like there was this one person who alleged that Jimin had been a woman in like 3 of his past lives, but was always involved in very abusive relationships (in 1 of said lives his/her father had r*ped him/her and Jimin gave birth to a daughter and when the daughter grew up they both fell in love with the same man. And the daughter ends up killing Jimin to keep the man for herself LOL what kind of twisted A/B/O shit is this?!) and apparently its...affecting him in the present with how he treats others? And like... the only way for him to "break the cycle" is by "making peace" with his past selves? Or else he'll keep repeating it?
(y'know...like The Avatar).
This same person also said that the Maknae Line have a beef with the Hyung Line. And that Jimin was gonna kill himself this year or when BTS disbands next year, cause without the group he was useless/talent-less and it didnt matter if he did solo projects cause they wouldn't be as famous as the other members, plus his supposed "girlfriend" would leave him at the same time which is why he'll kill himself.
Like....BITCH, WHICH IS IT? Do you want him to make peace with himself and live a long healthy life or do you want him dead?? MAKE UP YOUR MIND! Or better yet, just say you're a Jimin anti and go (cause she didnt have any probs with the other members, always targeted Jimin).
Although there ARE exceptions, like another user who told this past-lives reading on how they all used to be 1 person who died and their soul got divided into 7, and the 7 of them always managed to find one another on each and every one of the lives they've lived through (like the HEARTBEAT mv). That one was nice.
In Conclusion....
I just feel bad because of how ignorant and gullible the Kpop fandom in general has become in the past years (Especially the newer fans who don’t understand how Korean culture works, much less the Korean Entertainment Industry). To the point of giving these people clout when in reality they’re just taking advantage of them because they know how thirsty and obsessed some fans can get in their need to know MORE about the artists/group they stan.
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🦇🎃Kana’s Halloween Hangover Rec List🎃🦇
Love Halloween? Not ready for it to be over? No worries! Old and new, these are some of my favorite spooky, suspenseful, and supernatural Kylux reads--perfect for drawing out your favorite month a little longer!
which is 100% why i’m posting this on november 1st, definitely not because i didnt manage to finish it before yesterday. nope, not at all
My Baby’s a Devil in the Bedroom | @callmelyss
- E - 4/5 chapters, 14 645 words - “Oh, obviously.” Kylo let out a shaky laugh and ran both hands through his hair. “Wait, no, you’re serious. You’re a fucking demon.”
“Well, yes, not to put too fine a point on it.” Hux smiled, clearly pleased with himself at the joke. “Or more accurately, I’m a succubus. A sex demon.”
—
Kylo has an unusual squatter. He's pretty fine with it. -
This fic is seriously amazing. It’s a super fun idea, the dialogue is hilarious, and it perfectly balances the sweetness and humor with angst/intrigue. Plus, I’m absolutely taken with snarky, smug, candy-tasting succubus Hux <3 <3
strange phenomenon | @brawlite, @kyluxtrashcompactor
- E - 8/8 chapters, 65 756 words - Kylo Ren is haunted by recent tragedy. He answers an ad posted by one Armitage Hux for a roommate, and he thinks a fresh start will help him begin to heal. He brings next to nothing with him from the past when he moves in.Or so he thinks. -
This fic is wonderfully suspenseful, and perfect if you’re looking for something to keep you on the edge of your seat. I also had a lot of Han feels when reading this one. Overall it’s just really nicely well-rounded with heartfelt and genuine characterizations, good spooks, and some searing sexual tension.
Something Wicked | @marlonbookcase
- G - 7/7 chapters, 22 514 words - Kylo and Armitage have been friends since they were kids. Now in university, they run a semi-popular YouTube channel called "London Below" where they investigate all sorts of haunted and paranormal happenings in and around London and try to answer the question, are ghosts real? When they take on the mysterious and tragic case of the Pendle Witches, they come face to face with the spirit world in a way they never have before. Will they make it out of Pendle alive? Are ghosts real? And most importantly, does Armitage return Kylo's affections? -
I love Buzzfeed Unsolved. I love Kylux. I love this fic. A lot. As it says in the description, it’s not an exact Unsolved AU, but it really captured the format/feel of the “paranormal investigator” genre, so if you’re a fan of that, you’ll love this. Bonus points for some mutual pining and sugary fluff 👀👀
Second Spring, First Fall | @huxandthehound
- T - 5/? chapters, 7 018 words - Nothing brings people together quite like the holidays. Well, maybe not Halloween... After a scare, Hux has to confront his neighbor. Lucky for him, Kylo might be a little sweeter than his tricks let on. -
A cute multi-chap made of Huxloween prompt fills! Lighthearted, but it’s still got that Halloween spirit. Plus I’ve got a soft spot for sweet modern AU Kylo :))
Some Strange and Unnerving Events | @longstoryshortikilledhim
- E - 10/10 chapters, 158 815 words - As a boy in a dreary school on the moors, Kylo Ren had only one friend, a red-headed boy whose sharp tongue and wit drew Kylo to him. But that friend was taken from him. Now grown, Kylo goes into the service of the master of Stormfield Hall, the enigmatic Lord Arkanis, who is seeking a tutor for his charge. Kylo's past will come rushing back to him, both in his new employer and some unusual circumstances that bring to the fore powers that Kylo thought long-suppressed. -
This fic hit me like a ton of bricks. This fic hit me like TWO tons of bricks. Start this one when you’re ready to be feeling it for a few days afterwards. It’s an incredible historical AU with magic and a great murder mystery--it basically pushes, like, all of my buttons. And it’s /genuinely/ spooky, I had to start keeping a light on while I read it. Oh, and it features definitely my favorite Millicent ever. If you’ve got the time for something long, go for this one.
Reach Out in the Darkness | unicornsandbutane
- E - 2/2 chapters, 9 321 words - Having spent a decent amount of time researching the history and folklore of Arkanis, Cadet Hux strikes out one chilly evening in search of some legendary creature that's supposed to be extremely powerful. If the myths aren't true, all he's wasted is time. But, if they are based in some actual fact, then what a boon such an entity would be to his cause. He doesn't know what he will find, but he is prepared for any (absolutely ANY) eventuality. -
Tentacle monster Kylo. I am unapologetic. It’s really good.
Witchfeather | Whatever21ism
- E - 14/? chapters, 16 015 words - Armitage Hux is a new witch trying to establish himself in a new town. One day he goes out seeking a familiar, particularly a cat, somehow instead he ends up with a raven who is much more than they appear to be. -
A favorite of mine! Apothecary witch Hux & his crow familiar Kylo. There’s some really nice worldbuilding and crow Kylo is super cute. Possibly abandoned, but defs worth checking out what’s there & showing the author some love.
First Order Investigations | @mistresseast
- Unrated - series, 3 works, 58 094 words, incomplete - Hux and Phasma have been running First Order Investigations since high school, and Dr. Snoke's metaphysical research graduate program seemed like the perfect opportunity to pursue their interests under the protective umbrella of academia. Unfortunately, that meant allowing Snoke's personal project, a taciturn medium named Kylo Ren, to join their team. Hux and Kylo mix like oil and water, or, more accurately, like fire and gasoline, and Hux is convinced that working effectively with Kylo is absolutely impossible. They hate each other, and Hux is content to leave it that way.
But then, a case in the sweltering heat of South Carolina begins to change things between them, and Hux finds himself questioning not only Kylo's feelings, but his own as well. -
Paranormal Investigator AU of the highest quality. The detail and thought put into each investigation site is incredible. I love this fic to pieces, and if you like ghost stories, you will too.
Undead | @heyktula, @splinteredscript
- E - series, 2 works, 6 855 words, incomplete - They’ve been circling around each other for years. Kylo Ren, the most powerful vampire in Supreme Leader Snoke’s house, and Armitage Hux, the human liaison between the world of mortals and that of eternal darkness. Baiting, taunting, the cord between them growing ever tighter.Sooner or later, one of them is going to snap. -
A lovely and dark vampire AU~~ Gives off some real classic Kylux vibes, and is an absolute pleasure to read :D
Fixer Upper | @irisparry
- T - 5/7 chapters, 10 034 words - When Armitage Hux starts with First Order estate agents, he thinks the house on Alderaan Drive is an insult, a patronising set of training wheels for the new boy. He is ... not correct. -
Adorable haunted house AU! I love both of their characterizations in this one, especially shy, grumpy ghost Kylo~
Hair of the Dog That Bit You | @theweddingofthefoxes
- M - 9/9 chapters, 21 597 words - Ren owns a popular tavern, and Armitage is a respected physician in town and the surrounding villages. Their years-long friendship will survive anything -- even the bite of a werewolf. Won't it? -
Full disclosure, I haven’t actually finished this one-- I have a tendency to get distracted unless I finish something in one sitting, rip. But I remember being SUPER stoked about starting it, and anything by weddingofthefoxes is guaranteed to be a treat, so I’m putting it on here anyway :D tbh now that I’m thinking about it again I’ll probably finish it tonight.
The Eldritch Effect | @generallyhuxurious
- E - 17/17 chapters, 67 899 words - For the last three years Major Donal A. Hux, formerly of the British Army's Parachute Regiment, and Kylo Ren, estranged son of US Defence Secretary Leia Organa, have been tooling around North America investigating "weirdness"- and they're plenty weird themselves. Their latest tip off is leading them towards a haunting in rural Alabama. But first they need to make a stop in Trinity, South Carolina... -
A real goofy Paranormal Investigators AU that I super love (but I also need to catch up on rip). It’s an American Gothic AU, but you don’t need to have any knowledge of the show to follow along (I don’t). It also comes with a series of oneshots set in the universe but outside the main plotline, so when you finish the fic and inevitably want more, you’re covered ;)
blackbird, fly | @acroamatica
- M - 19 265 words - One sunny afternoon in the mountains of Washington state, Ben Organa-Solo walked out into the woods.
He never came home.
Six years later, a journalist specialising in missing-persons cold cases decides to follow his footsteps and see where they might lead. -
This is a sad beautiful horror AU that is very close to my heart. The writing is just gorgeous and the suspense is beautifully done. Also, it about doubled the amount of emotions already attached to the song Blackbird for me (I still get a little heart-squeeze every time I hear it)
what’s real or isn’t | @brawlite
- E - 12/12 chapters, 57 398 words - Hux's new house is not haunted. It isn't. -
Super surreal haunted house AU. There’s also monster sex. This is definitely a staple of spooky Kylux fics :D
How to Kill a Living Thing | hedgerowhag
- E - 10/10 chapters, 25 394 words - It starts like any other horror movie: a young man moves into a strange old house full of relics of the past and becomes haunted by some strange entity. However, Ren doesn't find the monster that he expects. -
This one has got some of the most stunning, spooky visuals I’ve ever read. I could picture every scene and character so clearly. Plus, I love Hux’s characterization--he’s kind of a shit, and it’s beautiful.
Twenty-Six Weeks | @vmprsm
- E (eventually) - series, 4 works, 28 539 words, probably complete - Two mature adults need to do two things: live an a house with a stranger for six months, and keep their secrets to themselves. How hard could that be?
Apparently very. -
The author made a point of trying not to give too much away in the summary/tags, so I won’t either :D I’ll just say it’s one of my favorites, and definitely worth a read if you haven’t already~~
The Brief Wondrous Return of Vampire Boy | @hollyhark
- T - 21 190 words - Two days before Halloween, Hux hears a rumor that Ben Solo is back in town. While Hux does not believe the sensational version-- that his estranged childhood friend/enemy escaped from an asylum and is out for revenge --he is left on edge as to how to proceed. -
One of my favorite Halloween fics; it really encompasses the feel of fall/Halloween but also, like, good ol’ ~teenage bullshit~. There’s a lot of creepy Snoke stuff, some dealing with the fallout, and a nice hopeful ending :))
Ghost Encounters of the Hux Kind | carefulren
- T - 9/9 chapters, 25 610 words - Kylo purchases an old, abandoned house in order to get away from his family. He just wants the chance to be alone for a while, and he considers this house as the start of his new, isolated freedom.
Everything is going as smoothly as possible, until it's not.
Perhaps, Kylo isn't living alone after all.-
A sweet and soft ghost story AU. I adore the ending <3 <3
Spookylux Huxloween 2018 | @nofootprintsinsalt
- T - series, 31 works, 36 896 words, complete - Huxloween 2018 - 31 benarmie fics in 31 days -
A series of benarmie fluff/horror for the Huxloween prompts this year! These were so so fun to read throughout the month and I adore the little universe that develops as they go on :))
Of Our Time | @ezlebe
- E - 15 297 words - “Do you know how many people would think it’s weird you walk around in the day?”
Hux grits his teeth in vain against an uncanny sensation, his own words digging and clawing up his throat to leave behind the taste of blood and bitterness thick on his tongue. “I could care less. I was made this way before there were movies – before fucking Stroker. Call me a demon if it makes you feel better.” -
I only read this really recently, and I was BLOWN AWAY. Seriously, this packs so much into 15k--it’s got feels, it’s got lore, it’s got steamy smut. What more could one ask for?
Shiver The Whole Night Through | @theweddingofthefoxes
- T- 5/5 chapters, 7 977 words - Ren's always loved hunting, so when he's told his paid time off won't roll over into the next year, he decides to take a week, get his gun and rent a cabin in the woods. But it takes no time at all for the hunter to become the hunted. -
This one’s very accurately tagged “Mind Games,” which really made it stand out to me--I do love a good spooky woods story~~
The Ghost Under My Bed | @longstoryshortikilledhim
- E - 19 525 words - Amateur witch, aspiring actor and full-time family fuckup Ben Solo discovers that his house is being haunted. Best part? His very own poltergeist, Armitage Hux, is kinda cute. Worst part? Well. He's dead. -
THIS IS THE SWEETEST GHOST STORY. I love it so so much. The sweetness of their relationship set against the sad backdrop of both of their histories gives this one a really unique feel. And the ending is guaranteed to give you the warm fuzzies <3
--
aaaand that’s all, folks! Lord, this post turned into a behemoth lmao. I just. really love supernatural stuff. (on that note, if anyone has read/written anything even tangentially spooky/supernatural, feel free to send it my way. I will happily give it a read ;)))
Happy reading! ^_^
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Saeran/Ray Route. AKA THE UGLY CRY ROUTE. Spoilers Ahead!
Alright where do I begin. . . If you thought 707’s route hurt you, nope. Ray’s route I can almost guarantee will make you ugly cry.
Lets talk about rays route shall we?
So we’re not gonna ignore that Saeran kidnapped you from the very beginning but I mean MC what kind of basic lack of home training do you have that you legit iust followed a yolo text telling you to get into a car to be taken to an undisclosed location.
Oh yes enter Ray persona. “Test my game for me you beautiful creature that I’m already admittedly probably in love with because I have no reference for what it feels like to be loved or in love. But you make me feel less lonely so please don’t leave me.”
Ray is a princely figure throughout your first couple days with him. Only to later realize that Rika has utterly adopted his mothers tactics to manipulate him into doing what she wants out of what is essentially pure spite. Rika also adopts the persona of being Saeran’s true mother as she calls herself. Oddly enough, you actually get more insight on what type of person Rika is and how she perceived herself in Ray’s route than V’s.
Even in everyone’s else’s route before Saeran I never found myself actually attracted to Saeran. Rather, I found him to be someone that was grossly similar to Rika in the fact that he simply wanted to be accepted and loved by anyone. No matter what love meant to the other person. He was willing to devote his entire being simply for the other person to achknowledge him as a person. This becomes even more clear if you get Rays bad ending. It’s clear to see why even in past routes Rika was more than just Rika, she was a godly being for Saeran. Albeit through means of heavily drugging him and manipulative tactics but that’s how he saw Rika. Just as he named you his goddess, Rika was the all mighty savior.
Ray is already very upset that he has to take the elixir. It causes him to undergo pain beyond measure. Which is why he goes so out of his way to do everything he can so that the player doesn’t have to take the elixir. He even goes to make a fake exilir in case Rika asks for MC to drink it to prove herself.
This poor sweet child has been nothing but continuously abused and used as a tool.
He himself thinks he’s no good. BECAUSE LITERALLY HE HAS BEEN CONDITIONED LIKE THIS HIS ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE. LIKE PLEASE I JUST WANT TO PROTECT YOU AND LET YOU BE HAPPY. LOOK AT HOW FRAGILE HE IS. YOU CAN STILL SEE THE OLD WOUNDS HIS MOTHER GAVE HIM ON HIS BODY
Like this poor baby STOPPPPP. When they released Ray’s route I did not expect myself to cry as much as I did going through this route.
NOW let’s transition to Saeran persona. We’re also not going to ignore that Saeran abused MC for literally days. Both trying to manipulate her and physically starving her so she’s weakened. I think we all knew from the beginning that Saeran was projecting all his fears and feelings onto MC in hopes of personifying his perceived weaker self and dominating them. I’m not excusing any of this AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU. Someone being mentally ill does not give them any rights to abuse others around them because they are damaged. But this is also where I was very emotionally driven. This arc stirred an anger in me towards both Rika and V. As most of us know it has been about six months since Rika had disappeared. But thing is Saeran was taken in by Rika and V a LONG while before. Like Rika you literally killed his mom how has this not come up anywhere in conversation????? LIKE REALLY DID YOU LEGIT GET AWAY WITH MURDER??? I digress. What makes me so angry is that ONLY FKING RIGHT NOW does V actually realize “maybe....I waited too long and should have helped Saeran and protected him LIKE I PROMISED SAEYOUNG ALL THOSE YEARS AGO AND NOT LIED ABOUT IT UNTIL HE WAS SO TRAUMATIZED THAT HIS PERSONALITY SPLIT”. LIKE V???? YOU JUST SEE THAT NOW? RIGHT NOW????? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDNT REALIZE WHAT RIKA HAS DONE TO HIM??? YOU BEEN FOLLOWING HER SINCE SHE FOUNDED MINT EYE SHE HAS A ENTIRE FOLLOWING OF PEOPLE???? YOU KNEW SHE WAS MENTALLY ILL LIKE??? HUH????? Okayyyyyy. . .
Back to Saeran. Even as MC is getting tortured by Saeran this is the scene that broke me in this route.
His complete breakdown after being unable to cope with his feelings and being unable to break MC. This is the scene where he says something along the lines of “I’ll just kill you now so you can’t torment me; only I can torment you” and where he desperately tries to get a response from MC.
I’m not sure how everyone else responded but when it came to the choose I chose to say nothing. The following line of Saeran saying “why aren’t you saying anything? Tell me! TELL ME IT’S PAINFUL!” Completely broke me. I realized here he still just wants someone to accept him....in the form of him as their abuser...but accepting him nonetheless. Also props to Saeran’s VA. You screamed a lot in this my dude. It paided off. You made Saeran become really alive delivering all your lines the way you did. Honestly even above Rika’s VA, you did....amazing. You’re both amazing but DAMN YOU MADE ME TOO EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED.
Anyway,
The line is delivered so desperately. He just wants a response any response. Silence is just the same as death for him. What good is a toy that won’t respond to you? Validate me as a person that is strong and not useless. Only my toy makes me feel whole.
Saeran and Ray are entirely the same. “Please don’t leave me. I’m scared. ”. Of course Ray and Saeran are the same person. After this....his decision to tell V to take MC away from here seals the deal. That’s Saeran’s way of saying he loves you enough to let you go. That sounds cliche af but that’s what happen. The difference is the deliverance of how it went about is what made it worthwhile.
He spent 9 days trying to do one thing. And that was to get you to not leave. Now he just wants you to be okay even in his madness.
I wont lie. V did save redeem himself a little when he came clean. And the proceeded to of course OF COURSE sacrifice himself and be putty in Rika’s hands. Yes Rika is a monster. Granted I still stand by my opinion that she isn’t the monster that some people make her out to be, but she’s still a monster. When Ray/Saeran become one and shows Rika all the receipts I mean I was Z-snapping everywhere tbh.
Both Saeran and Rika became what they hated most. Their mothers. The difference is Rika believed it made her strong, Saeran realized that’s what made him weak.
Overall I think Ray’s route was the most impactful for several reasons. But I’ll just name two.
1. The entire story has VAs. The delivery of the lines make a difference in how we perceive the characters. A lot of the times we have to imagine how they said it. Here we actually get to hear how it was intended. It made it that more immersive to the point of sometimes I forget this is just a game.
2. The story was well driven and you don’t get the complete satisfaction of everyone’s happy ending. This was intentional of course. Someone has to lose their life. You spend most your life hiding with Saeran and Rika has V wrapped back in her fingers...Continuing the cycle of their toxic relationship. Until we get an after ending for both V and Ray. I have to say these reviews are incomplete.
You made it to the end. Thank you!
Enjoy happy pictures.
Honestly I think Saeran has the best kiss out of all.
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Pride by Ibi Zoboi (Review)
This book is a modern retelling of the Jane Austen’s seminal classic Pride & Prejudice. Zuri Luz Benitez is a black Haitian-Dominican teenager in her senior year of high school whose identity is constructed around her life in Bushwick, a neighborhood with a tight community that is going through aggressive gentrification. Across the street, in one of the new gentrified houses, the Darcy family moves in, including twins Ainsley and Darius, two rich private-school boys sticking out like a fish out of water.
Zoboi’s adaptation creates amazing parallels when compared one-to-one with P&P, but it can’t hold its own very well. The writing is a simplistic and the characterization for most of the named characters is extremely one-dimensional. I was taken a bit by surprise when I found it in the youth section, and the simple writing makes me confused about the age of the intended audience. In any case, I didn’t have a bad time reading this, but I was expecting a lot more than I got.
To expand a little on the intended audience, I think my confusion is mostly because of the conflicting styles. On one hand, Zoboi’s prose is very simple and almost hamfisted in how she handles her characters and story. Other than some nice and age-appropriate poetry from Zuri herself, the rest of the book isn’t very elegant in writing quality. So I said to myself, ok I found it in the youth section. It’s intended for a younger audience. However, all the central characters are in their senior year of high school, and there are numerous allusions to sex and cusses that I’m not sure would fly in middle fiction. I think those who are in this reading level will find the characters too old and teenagery, while those who are the main character’s ages will find the prose to be lacking. Zuri in specific is a voracious reader, and she herself would not have the patience to enjoy reading this book which is far below her reading level.
It’s easier to read this book for what it’s supposed to be saying rather than what it is saying, if that makes any sense. For instance, Darius when he first shows up is quiet and doesn’t offer much information about himself, but he also wasn’t very rude or belligerent upon first impression. I know “prejudice” is half the thing, but Zuri really jumps the gun and kind of started the whole feud in the first place. It just wasn’t that believable that he was some jerk who deserved her hatred like it was with Elizabeth Bennet, and similarly it wasn’t very believable when she later learns that she just misinterpreted his social awkwardness.
Also, I thought it was interesting that the title removed the “prejudice” when to me that seemed like a much bigger aspect of this version than in Austen’s work. For instance, Darius makes a number of disparaging remarks about Bushwick and its “ghetto” people, but even before he makes these remarks Zuri already “hates” him based on stuff she made up about him in her head. And then later, when they begin to get closer, she actually never confronts him about his prejudice and just. Forgives and forgets.
She also forgives and forgets when it comes to Ainsley and Janae. This bothered me a lot more than some of my other nitpicking because it actually changes one of the important themes of P&P. Not that Zoboi doesn’t have the right to alter thematic elements—she absolutely does! But the theme of family and the fact that Zuri would do ANYTHING for her sisters is told to the reader through a lot of exposition, but we don’t actually see it. The moment in the car when she finds out that Darius split up Ainsley and Janae is really representative of that for me. She got angry in the moment, but she never actually investigates to find out WHY he did it like Elizabeth in P&P. On that note, later on when she forgives him, she never asks him to account for it again.
In fact, character motivation and appropriate emotional buildup was a recurring issue in this book. Nothing hit quite like I think Zoboi intended them to.
The talk on gentrification and class difference is good tho. Perhaps incomplete, but there’s only so much space. They really show how class plays a role in a variety of different circumstances and scenarios, and I think Zoboi succeeds here where others have failed.
Some of the parallels that I liked:
- Warren and Colin took me OUT when they first appeared. You can really see what Zoboi thinks about Mr. Wickham and Mr. Collins from the original lol.
- The tour of Howard instead of touring the Darcy home was very interesting to me. I think it was a great introduction to how she wasn’t expecting her world to expand so much, and that there’s a lot of different experiences in the world that she’s missing, and she gets introduced to this idea by people who AREN’T Darius and Ainsley. I really liked that.
- The leopard print and “inappropriate dress” that the Benitez family wore to the Darcy cocktail party. It seems like a good way to show how respectability politics still play into the modern day, and it added a bit of character to the Benitez family as a prototypical Latinx family that I really enjoyed.
- The Warren and Georgia situation was also a good way to translate this into the modern day.
- P&P: In order to avoid scandal, Darcy pays for a marriage between a 16 year old and a 20-something known scumbag, and this is seen as a good thing because it saved the Bennet family. Zoboi’s Pride: Darius beats the shit out of Warren. I REALLY CRIED, THIS IS WHAT I WANT OUT OF AN ADAPTATION.
Things I didn’t like so much:
- Ainsley x Janae is treated like a veeery minor side story instead of being a secondary plot. One of the big things in P&P is that Jane and Bingley are the prototypical pure love story and they think they are the main characters. Ainsley and Janae are not given much space to breathe in the narrative, and their relationship comes across as an afterthought instead of as one of the principal plot threads.
- The diversion with Darius’ grandmother was also thrown in there like an afterthought. It didn’t add much to the story other than showing that Darius will side with Zuri when push comes to shove. It still felt like it took up a lot more time than it needed to if the grandmother wasn’t going to appear again at the end of the book like in the original. If it’s role to the plot was going to be minimized like that, I don’t really understand why it was included at all.
- Charlise and Colin as a pair also felt out of place. In the original, Mr. Collins and Charlotte weren’t a major part of the story, but they contributed to the narrative that Austen wanted to tell about marriage and the different types of marriages that exist in English society at the time. Charlise and Colin don’t really have that effect on the story at all. Both characters are completely irrelevant to the plot (except Colin in the last possible moment), and they’re only really there to BE an adaptation.
- Some of the plot beats were rearranged. I didn’t mind this so much since any number of directorial decisions are valid so long as the have a positive impact on the adaptation’s goal, but I didn’t really see how they added much.
One thing I REALLY liked was the addition of Madrina. I’m not sure if she’s a reference to something I don’t remember from the text or a completely original addition, but I thought she made for some really interesting moments. I especially loved how much connection Zuri felt with her Orisha worship and that they called her “daughter of Ochun.” I would change NOTHING about this, it was pure and really sweet.
One adaptation I WISH Zoboi had made was to have Zuri call out Darius’ hypocrisy. In P&P, the Bennetts are certainly in a different social class from Darcy and the Bingleys, but they’re ultimately still property owners in Britain. The stakes are different here. Darius keeps talking about how things in his life aren’t perfect just because he’s rich (which is absolutely true, especially when Zoboi starts getting into his experience as a black teenager surrounded by white classmates), but he is STILL not really understanding the difference in experience between himself and Zuri. The thing is, although she’s not right to judge Darius’ whole personality, she absolutely IS right about a lot of his privilege at the very beginning, but she kind of lets that go after a while. Zuri confronts Darius about his wealth many times, but to me at least it doesn’t really seem like she was able to convince him that his whole outlook on life is fundamentally different because of his wealth. Idk maybe I’m grasping at straws here. I just wish that Darius had actually talked about like . trying to persuade his parents to donate more to charity, or doing community service, or idk DISTRIBUTING THE WEALTH. Darius doesn’t change much in the story. At the beginning, he’s like “sorry im rich but lmfao you’re being mean to me!” and then at the end he is like “I am simply a rich boy, I cannot change this” which is barely a difference at all.
Anyways. I really didn’t hate this book. I wanted to like it a lot more than I did, which is why I have all these criticisms about it.
I recommend this to anyone who wants to read a thoughtprovoking discussion on class through the lens of one of history’s most overrated love stories (speaking as someone who loves P&P: yea it’s overrated). Read it for Zuri and Darius, who are totally different people from Elizabeth and Darcy. Read it for nostalgia, because even though I don’t know what it feels like to be one of 5 Afrolatine kids in Bushwick, I Felt that family affection.
3/5 for having great ideas but not such great execution.
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hey so i heard at one point that some songs from mania were probably written about mikey and, as much as i love that idea, i wanted to ask what do you know about it and all? coz honestly i didnt pay that much attention to the lyrics and all and yeah, thought you maybe know sth more about it
I’ve said this before, I’ll say it again— when it comes to a ship like Petekey, every single theory about stuff like this is an “if” situation. It’s fine to talk about AU’s as much as you want but it gets trickier when talking about real life.
Now, IF Pete does write songs about Mikey, here’s the songs on M A N I A that I think might be about him (these are all just my opinions and I’m probably reading too deeply into the songs but here you go):
The Last Of The Real Ones—
During a lot of shows, pete has described this song as being about “that feeling when everything is crumbling around you but you’re still so in love.” (Or something along those lines) To me, that could be about the state of the world today, but since Pete is actually living his best life right now, it seems to me he’s leaning more towards his worst days of depression and suicidal thoughts—this could tie in to the days where Pete and Mikey supposedly got together.
•“You’re the last of a dying breed, write our names in the wet concrete.”
This could be about how maybe Pete didn’t think real people still existed— Fans loved him, but since they didn’t know him at all, it was all superficial to him. Friends and family were probably sucking up to him for his newfound fame and fortune but none of it was real. Suddenly, he found love kind of out of nowhere with a type of person who he thought didn’t exist anymore: a real person. Mikey was a lot like Pete: bass player of a successful band with a lot of underlying emotional and mental health issues. I wonder if maybe they fell for each other because they understood each other in a way nobody else could. They were both real. The wet concrete line could be about that urge to make the relationship permanent, even if it means breaking some rules/going against what people tell them.
•“I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me. I’m here in search of your glory, there’s been a million before me, that ultra kind of love you never walk away from.”
At this point, Pete was probably pretty unstable and so was Mikey. A rocky pairing like that could probably warrant some future therapy visits. Pete, however, was able to see a kind of energy in Mikey that he could relate to and that he thought might follow him for the rest of his life (which, to be fair, it might have). He’s obviously a romantic who believes in the concept of The One, so if he and Mikey had a relationship they had to end for whatever reason, a piece of his heart will always belong to Mikey no matter what happens.
HOLD ME TIGHT OR DON’T—
In Bang The Doldrums (which is theorized to be a Petekey song), the lyrics read “Best friends, ex friends til the end, better off as lovers and not the other way around.” In HMTOD, the lyrics read “I got too high again, realized I can’t not be with you or be just your friend. I love you to death but I just can’t pretend we were lovers first. Confidants, but never friends. We’re we ever friends?” Now, Pete loves to put callbacks to older songs into his newer songs, so there’s no denying this is a callback to Doldrums, which might be a callback to Petekey? 👀
Other than that, to me, this song just sounds like one that’s about a relationship between someone who’s head-over-heels and someone who’s indecisive. Even the title says so. There’s also a lot of lyrics about reminiscing about the past or dreaming of past events (“I just pinch myself, no longer comatose, I woke up no luck.” “I took too many hits off this memory, I need to come down.”)
Maybe Mikey was indecisive because he thought something was wrong with himself and he wanted to leave because he didn’t want to hurt Pete or be a burden, but the line “when your stitch comes loose, I wanna sleep on every piece of fuzz and stuffing that comes out of you” is Pete responding that, no matter what happens to him, he’s gonna love Mikey for who he is, flaws and all.
Church—
“If you were church, I’d get on my knees. Confess my love, I know where to be. My sanctuary, you’re holy to me. If you were church, I’d get on my knees.”
Now, whether or not that song is about Mikey, I think it’s a safe bet that this song is about a man.
There’s a lot of religious allegories in this song, and I think all of them are metaphors for how the world would look at a gay couple like Pete and Mikey if they were ever public about it. (“I love the world, but I just don’t love the way it makes me feel.”) In the music video, there’s a forbidden love between an interracial couple, but think about it: what kind of relationships do religious groups/churches forbid the most? Gay ones. This kind of sounds like Pete is fighting back against religious organizations that hate gays by making a sexually-charged gay song full of church imagery. It’s a really beautiful and poetic song about intimate love in the face of adversity that I just,,, love so much.
Heaven’s Gate—
“If there were any more left of me I’d give it to you, and I’d tell you that I am fine but I’m a missile that’s guided to you.” It sounds like Pete is saying he feels like he’s unlovable/incomplete and incapable of true love with someone like Mikey, who he sees as perfect—someone who can get him high from just a look (“one look from you and I’m on that faded love”).“Go out in the world, start over again and again as many times as you can.” Mikey has been married twice (and he’s supposedly been with other girls too) which might be him starting over again and again after Pete.
Lastly, people say that Bishop’s Knife Trick is Petekey, but I don’t think it is. People argue that it’s a song Pete wrote about finally working to get over Mikey but if I’m being honest I see this song as more of a musing of the band and how it’s coming to an end after such a long run. Either way, it’s a really sad concept.
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That ending...(Boys over Flowers spoilers but like...it’s been 9 years soooo I’ve legit just jumped on the bandwagon XD)
The Boys over Flowers ending was actually perfect I mean what... I can’t with this beautiful friendship thing they’ve got going on...
Also, I love the F4 friendship with a passion but the real best friendship has to be Ji-hoo, Yi-jung, Woo-bin and Jan-di...it’s like them being there for her even when she kept quiet about her struggles and watching the pain she feels whenever Jun-pyo did something wrong...like it made more sense for them to be standing next to Jan-di than Jun-pyo at times??? They’re all just great and any time it was a situation where Jun-pyo was a mad idiot, and the three confronted him or did something for Jan-di’s without ever even considering how they were originally only connected to her through Jun-pyo just makes me feel all warm and wonderful inside... like any scene where it’s just them 4 is great... or even with the addition of Ga-Eul...just, the time they played hide and seek and toured around Macau, or when they saved Jan-di in Macau...or the time they held a retirement ceremony for Jan-di knowing she needed a proper end to that part of her life...the time YI-JUNG got mad on her behalf towards Jun-pyo...ughhhhhh so amazing...friendship goals...
Like that whole end episode where that one chick was actually the only character I’ve ever actually disliked on the show because she literally showed up for half a second and then started imposing herself like she was at all relevant and I was out here like who the eff does she think is?!?! Of course they don’t like you, they don’t know you and you’re here acting like you’ve known Jun-pyo longer than them when you know NOTHING of the situation gaddamn...it was kinda hilarious how she literally just disappeared after Jun-pyo recovered his memory...
But anyway the point of that rant was that the F3 (F4 - Jun-pyo) stayed by Jan-di’s side and were firmly on her side and knew that this girl was only causing trouble and didnt encourage any shit from her and it was so cute...and that bit where they went to a graduation that legit had nothing to do with them just because their favourite girl was there so they could dance with her...
And then of course the ending where they actually objected to Jun-pyo’s proposal and said he had to get permission from them first...like Jan-di is everyones Jan-di! You want her hand, you need to get approval from her best friends!
Would pay big money to have a scene where they take turns walking her down the aisle??? Like obv the dad would be first but then I would love to see the F3 demonstrate they are not just Jun-pyo’s groomsmen but Jan-di’s best men... and possibly have Ji-hoo be the last one as a final “giving away”....that kind of symbolism is kinda amazing but just my personal headcanon...exceptionally heartbreaking though...
And speaking of, even til the very end Ji-hoo was still in love with her???? This incredible wonderful guy who friggen knew her first was still supporting her but watching after her even after basically proposing to her and getting rejected???? He friggen attended medical school and offered to repeat a year for her?!?! All because he still loved her?!?! It completely came true the whole “your husband and soulmate are two different people” prophecy she dreamed about that one time...and like both Ji-hoo and Jan-di felt it (hell she straight up said it!!!) that they were soulmates but because of some effed up timing, Jan-di couldn’t stop her love for Jun-pyo which just...I like him he’s fine and the love is real but dammit my second lead syndrome has never EVER been this strong before...EVER... >///<
Also they just sorta ignore the fact that in some form, Jan-di had a hand in reviving their father like what y’all are just gonna skim over that????? ALSO I WANTED MORE GA-EUL AND YI-JUNG YALL JUST END IT LIKE SOME SORT OF IMPLIED THING WHAT?!?!?! THEY NEVER ACTUALLY KISSED NO WONDER ALL THE GIFS ARE INCOMPLETE!!!!!
Also also can we just appreciate Chief/Secretary Jung/Jeong??? He is actually the best...friggen out here like a real one supporting everybody gaddamn he’s my favourite...AND THERE WAS NO MASTER!!! THEY NEVER FULLY UNVEILED WHAT WAS GOING ON BETWEEN HIM AND FORMER GRANDPA PRESIDENT AND ALL THOSE TIMES HE CAME TO THE PORRIDGE SHOP?!?!?!
My first kdrama and I can sense the obsession sinking in...gaddammit...
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Ready, Set, Go (Pt. 2 of AFTR)
Alright so here’s the requested (and promised) sequel/continuation of A Flight to Remember. I know my ship list mentions that I wouldn’t do multi-part stuff (mostly bc idk how to link them haha) but I’ll put this under the AFTR tag too so it shouldn’t be hard to find. There will be a part 3. Without further ado, here you are!
Fandom: Marvel-ish
Ship: Tom Holland x Reader (Tom is mentioned, but doesn’t appear in this part, but did in pt 1 and will in pt 3!)
Setting: Unnamed smallish U.S. city from the first part of this
Word Count: 1,302
Warnings: None?
Rating: K/K+
Background: Aight so y'all can probably already tell that you can get most of the bg to this in the first part so probably check that out before you read this one. Didn’t mention this in the first part, but reader is probably 19 or 20, so not at the legal drinking age in America sorry. Also referenced but not mentioned in the original, but this is set in a timeline starting on a Wednesday and the dinner is Thursday (idk why it’s just what I went with)
*y/f/n is your friend’s name
You got home no more than ten minutes after leaving what you were now calling the “Holland Crew.” You were also already planning what you would wear and do tomorrow night for dinner.
The first person you called was your friend to let her know why the text you sent her from the airport was incomplete. You explained how you met the boys but chose to leave out the whole “going to dinner at your favorite casual restaurant tomorrow night with your all time celebrity crush” thing. You knew that if you told her, she would tell others who lived in your town who would probably show up at the restaurant just for a photo op, and you knew that would be a bad experience for everyone.
“Omg!! Y/n! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Seriously? I left the airport ten minutes ago! What more do you want?”
You also felt the need to call your parents about it, since they too were out of town, leaving you home alone until Sunday. It was only right that they knew you would be hanging with technical strangers, and that these “strangers” were incredibly famous.
Just as you expected, your mother worried about you going out with 3 young British men while your dad congratulated you for making a Hollywood hottie swoon over you.
Once finishing your conversations, you hopped into the shower to get the grimy feeling of traveling off your body and to wash the hair that you could feel getting more oily by the minute under your hat.
After your long, much needed, shower, you slowly dressed and decided to let your hair air dry. You figured that being home alone had its perks, and this was one of them. Air drying your hair was a daunting task that often took at least an hour, but you knew you wanted to straighten your hair again tomorrow and blow drying it would put your hair under too much stress.
The hour it took for your hair to dry consisted of dancing around your house excitedly once the fact that you had met, and were going to dinner with, Tom Holland and his little crew had set in. Towards the end of that hour, you saw a notification from an unknown number show up on your phone.
“Hey, y/n! It’s Harrison (aka Haz, for future reference) and I just wanted to discuss tomorrow night with you some more. Tom can’t stop talking about you ;) P.S. I got your number from his phone, so don’t be weirded out by this when you see it.”
You smiled to yourself as you added Haz to your contacts list. It wasn’t every day you got to say you had the phone numbers of two well-known actors, not that you’d be sharing them anytime soon, though. You sat down on the couch to reply to Harrison, detailing the next night’s events and asking Harrison for his opinion on how you should dress.
“Come on man! It’s not every day you get the cute boy’s wingman/bff on your side!! You know his type!”
“Y/n, if he truly likes someone, he has absolutely no care whether she’s in old sweats or a cocktail dress. Though he does like a little bit of leg…”
With that, you decided on the navy floral halter dress you had been saving to wear for a date. It wasn’t anything skimpy, only hitting just above the knees, but it was sleeveless and flowed out a little at the bottom, which complimented your body well. You hung the dress up and set below it a pair of flat, white sandals that paired well with the look. You weren’t one for heels, mostly because you enjoyed the freedom of movement without them, but also because there was many a time where you had humiliated yourself in them.
You turned in early that night, hoping that a full night’s rest would leave you glowing the next day.
You awoke at 8:34 a.m. on Thursday and rolled out of bed, heading straight for the bathroom as always. Once out, you checked your phone for new messages. There were at least 20, all from only 3 friends. You rolled your eyes and shook your head, your friend you had called yesterday had obviously let these 3 girls know, and they couldn’t believe what they had heard.
“OMG!! Y/N! WHY DIDNT YOU CALL ME??? I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR BFF?”
“GIRL. You met TOM HOLLAND?? AND DIDNT TELL ME?!?”
“Omg y/f/n just told me you met Tom Holland and I swear to God if she was lyin…”
You rolled your eyes and replied to each about how yesterday was tiring and all you wanted to do was come home and sleep. They definitely couldn’t know about tonight. One invited you to dinner tonight to tell them all about yesterday, so you covered, saying how your parents were gone and wanted you to clean up the house while you were home alone, and you would need to catch up on work stuff before Monday rolled around. You hated lying to your friends, even if some of what you said was true. (Your parents had been serious about cleaning up the house)
You checked the clock, which read 8:58.
T minus 10 hours until you saw the boys again, so obviously you needed to start getting ready.
You started by doing your hair, a task that also took quite a bit of time. You turned on the TV for background noise as you began straightening your hair in layers. At the half-way point, you took a break to toast yourself a bagel and grab a sparkling water for breakfast. Once finishing on your hair, you went to work cleaning up the living room for your parents. By the time you were done, it was almost 11:00. Only 8 hours left to prepare for the night.
You spent those 8 hours overthinking everything, from what you would say to how early you would show up to the restaurant to the underwear you were planning on wearing beneath your dress.
At 4:00, you touched up your hair and swiped on some mascara and a little bit of foundation. You were never one to wear makeup, and most of the time you opted to just not wear it. Even though the boys had seen you 100% makeup-less yesterday, it still felt nice to do yourself up just a little bit to raise your spirits.
You dressed yourself at 5:45, finally deciding on that one strapless bra and those black underwear for a confidence boost. You waited until 6:30 to strap on your sandals, seeing as you wouldn’t need to leave the house until 6:40 and you honestly preferred being barefoot above anything else.
You gave yourself another once-over in the mirror before checking your little cross-body purse to make sure you had your wallet, phone, keys, and anything else you might need for an emergency. After that, you were off to the restaurant, your mind buzzing and left foot tapping against the floorboard as you tried to keep your right root from flooring the pedal out of anxiousness.
You sat in your car and gave one last deep breath once you had pulled into the parking lot, heart racing faster than you could ever remember before. It wasn’t just the fact that you were meeting your celebrity crush and his equally amazing pals for dinner tonight that got you; it was the fact that you hadn’t been on a date in quite a while and you knew you were probably just a little rusty.
With that thought, you pushed open the door, and headed off towards the front of the building, ready to dive into what would hopefully be the best night of your life.
A/N: Haha wow am I the worst or what? I know this totally didn’t even feature Tom but don’t worry, the next part will. I decided to make this more than a two-shot like I had planned because I just had too many ideas to cram it into two parts. I hope to get the next (and maybe final??) part out within the coming week, but we shall see. Tbh I’ll probably end up doing what I did with this one and write the first 3 words tonight after I post and then not finish until 9 pm next Sunday wHOoPs.
Love y'all thanks for reading xoxo
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