#he can say that HIS MOM might be dead but not cas

[halevren]

FHJY Spoilers || my live thoughts as I watch episode 10

Happy mid season episode! I am saddened by the fact that I work on Wednesdays because I will be late to watch fhjy until the forseeable future. If anyone cares though I plan on buying the adya statuette next week if my finances allow for it :3 also I am so tired rn but I NEED to watch fhjy

Do you guys think ayda will appear in this episode after her statuette was released last week? (Praying)

tttaking over teenage rebellion!

Lucy Frostblade... You were just a girl. You didn't deserve everything that happened to you

"We're feeling bad. But we're feeling... Hopefully positive."

stress isn't always the bed guy

Aelwyn!

big old burned down house

Cottoncandy Bitchfuck

"I'm.... Bored. That's not true. I'm not bored at all. I'm just tired."

Hindesight is 50/50

"Oh I love this. Tell me all about it."

Siobhan is loving Aelwyn rn

"I do sometimes believe in you"

"So Sentimental"

Aelwyn and Adaine are so important to me their sibling relationship is everything

AELWYN AND ADAINE NOT BEING USED TO NICENESS

"Oh, my sweet little boy is sick!"

"just don't tell fab— don't tell anyone my apartment looks like this"

The Gukgak

I'm the Gukgak guy!

"Oh, Riz, you have to sleep, Kiddo." "I can't, mom, I don't have time." Oh Riz....

Framed?

Riz is so exhausted

It's been an hour and a half and his mom has chips and a drink 😭😭

"Mom, you have to be so careful."

"Keep my name out of your mouth." FIG 😭😭

"it's all good, mom"

yulenear

"Fig has like 3 majors now" "maybe 4, i might take a level of wizard."

"Kristen Applebees, believe it or not." "... huh." HWHHWKWNEB

"You both keep my name out of your mouth."

"It's been our month!"

Lola Embers recommended Gorgug's place??

"Mom I'm going to go to Loam farm."

*shrug* "mom." *shrug*

"We're having a rough one." "GOT 'EM."

"I'll do it." Fig cleric teacher?!?!

TAMAGOTCHI. MaryAnn my beloves

The puppet master!

"Ha Ha! Darling Girl!"

Gilear is king for the day

"My mom called you?"

"I don't need a ride to school anymore"

"I believe she's wanted here."

BUSINESS CLASS FOR CLOACA

"Can I say hi??"

NOOOOOOO NOOO SHE HUNG UP BEFORE FABIAN COULD ANSWER

That's so devastating

Coffee all over the DM screen

Yeah they haven't addressed the fact that fig is cursed

Pussy out, tits away

Theres so much going on

ohhh they might be sacrificing the rats

"I'm wearing a sports bra and a G-string, and I want to be closer with all of you."

Fabian with Mazey is so painful. He's so flustered and awkward I love him

MAZEY TRUSTS FABIAN

"I'm here, for you."

"Kristen was in a mood."

NOO DON'T KILL MAZEY SAVE HER FABIAN

Fried rice

SHE LEANS IN TO MAKE OUT

THIS IS SO EMBARRASSIJG

"Wait, they don't like us??"

"When you think about me, why do you always bring up the ball?"

SHE WANTS TO MAKE SURE HE'S OKAY BECAUSE HE'S ALOne

oh Fabian...,...........

"The legend continues."

"I was going to get a tattoo, actually."

"Even if you weren't maximum legend, I would still wanna hang out with you." MAZEEYYYYY 😭😭😭😭

BOGGY

Absence of divinity???

THE GOD'S DOMAIN CHANGED OVER TIME????

RUVINA'S SIBLING??

The gift is only mentioned in old texts??

"Well I guess I'll go to work."

Basrar is dead

"Literally your circus, literally your monkeys."

Tips are bad

RODEO MODE

THE MIDDLE SCHOOL FOR A SPEECH???

NOOO NAT ONE

Check the soil kids

Lydia mention 🔥🔥🔥

Kristen holds so much hostility for Kalina 😭😭

Oh Lydia...

AV club mention

THIRTY ROLL 🔥🔥🔥🔥

The powerhouse of the cell

Aggression and protectiveness

7 becomes a 21?!?!!

?!?!?!?!?! SOMETHING COMING OUT OF HER CHEST???

22 Arcana, 25 religion

Elemental alignment???

Fiendish things going on

Yellow gold

Kinda like the pride of armor and lemon yogurt

PISS CURSE????

Ratgrinders sticker

"I don't get angry, I think I get sad sometimes" me too buddy, me too

Sometimes a spell comes out and obliterates people

Comedy of errors

Autopilot

Bobby Dawn and Pam Dawn

Bobby Dawn coming to Aguefort sounds like a bad thing

"I'll never let you do that."

"Yours only came back once." *middle finger* Kristen Applebees you will always be famous

A+ in paladin classes!

"Sorry! Get away from me"

Reasons he won't divulge???

A+ in all classes!!!

THREE PARAGRAPH ESSAY? NOOO ABOUT SADNESS AND DISAPPOINTMENT NOOOOO

FIG NAT 20 FOR THE INSIGHT 😭

Zara is gorgeous

The days of Goldenhoard is over 😭😭

"MY GOD IS KRISTEN????"

Oh my god I almost prophesied this when I said Kristen would become a cleric/warlock of Fig.... instead Fig is the warlock/paladin of Kristen 😭😭😭

I'm the closest thing to a prophet holy shit

New god, agreement, todo list

Complicated Women: Lucy Frostblade 😭😭

NAT 20 DECEPTION FOR WANDA CHILDA

Oh my god

"Frick. I'm so sorry." "I'm not." Wanda Childa

GET MY ROCKS OFF TO 😭😭

"I'm off the grid that's why I only have an iPod"

God... Wanda Childa

[email protected]

"Do you want me to get you a phone?"

"I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE"

"I want to do relationships with Riz."

Medal of Wit

LITTLE METAL BRIEFCASE

You absolutely sweetie

29 performance 🔥🔥

GARTY O'BRIEN MENTION 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Naked Kristen. Again.

Oh god Fabian is at 4 at his second roll

"Breaker Breaker, this is Fabian Seacaster, looking for his papa, Bill Seacaster, somewhere out there in the nine hells............"

This is so heartbreaking... Fabian...

Oh Fabian...

His papa.....

He probably feels so lonely

Rage token.....

This rage token is making me take a stress token

Everyone single one has been bad

FABIAN TAKING THE BARDIC FROM FIG

Constitution saving throw???

oh no

oh no

oh no

"I shit myself"

I CAN'T BRWATHE

"I've only been eating leftovers"

UNNAMED BARD STUDENT NO

QUINCY NO

DID QUINCY TAKE A RAGE TOKEN?

THAT'S IT????

oh my god

#fhjy spoilers #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fantasy high spoilers #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 fantasy high #fantasy high junior year

[fangirlfrom-hell]

Marigolds: A Day of the Dead Story || Jay Halstead x Halstead sister

It could have turned out better, but many inconveniences occurred that made me finish writing hastily. Anyway, I wanted to share it. Might end up delating it, though.

You'll find some songs to armonize this story at the end of the post.

"So, what's the name of this girl, again?" Jay asked from the kitchen while he was cooking dinner.

Sitting on the living room floor, her eyes fixed on the papers and books scattered across the coffee table, Becca replied slowly and deliberately, trying to pronounce each sound correctly, "Ca-ta-li-na."

"Catalina," he muttered to himself, then turned back to his sister. "I don't remember her."

"Yeah, that's because she's new at school. I think her family just moved to Chicago."

"Hmm," Jay hesitated, "Don't you prefer to invite them over here?"

"No."

"I can bring paperwork home. Your friends have been here before," he continued, trying to persuade her.

"Nope. We decided to go to her house because her mom still doesn't know how to move around the city."

Becca left the pen she was writing with, turned to face her brother, and asked, "Is there a problem?"

"Well, kind of. I don't know her or her family at all. Where does she live, again?"

Becca smiled. "I guess you never stop being a cop."

"Hey!" the detective shot back, "I'm just looking out for you. Any other parent, or big brother in this case, would do the same," he winked.

"Yeah, yeah," she went back to her homework.

The siblings sat comfortably in front of the TV: Jay with his feet on the coffee table, and Becca with her legs crossed on the sofa. Both had their plates on their laps, having dinner while catching up with their favorite crime show.

"That would never happen!" Jay would exclaim from time to time, to which Becca would simply roll her eyes.

This was a typical evening for them, unless Will was there to scold them for not eating at the table "like civilized people," as he would say.

"Okay, you can go to your friend's house, only because it's for homework," Jay said as the ending credits of the show rolled.

"Thanks, I guess?"

"...but I'll drive you there."

"Fine."

"...and I will walk you to the door. I want to meet her mom and take a look at the place where you're staying."

"Jay–"

"Don't you dare make that face at me, Becca Marie!" He pointed at her with his finger.

"Ugh, whatever you want. It's your time to waste, anyway."

The next day after school, Becca had to spend some time at the 21st district before her brother could take her to Catalina's home.

"This should be the house," Jay called his sister before she got out of the truk. "Hey, if anything happens, if you just feel uncomfortable, give me a call, and I'll pick you up, okay? Anything, even if you think it's nonsense."

"Yes, detective," Becca turned her eyes, mocking him.

But Jay was serious. "I mean it." As he had warned, he got out of the car to walk her to the entrance.

After a few knocks, a girl about the same age as Becca opened the door, and a delicious smell wafted out of the house, something they had never smelled before.

At the same time, a voice came from the back part of the house, "Cata, who is it?" But before the girl could answer, a woman hurriedly approached the entrance, drying her hands with a kitchen towel, making it obvious that she had interrupted something because of their arrival. That's how Jay met Mrs. Aragón, Catalina's mother, and as both adults stayed there talking, the girls ran upstairs.

"It smells delicious," Becca couldn't help but point out.

"Yes," Catalina answered proudly, "My mom is baking…", but suddenly she seemed to be ashamed of something.

"What?"

"Nothing," she ended the conversation by opening the door to her room, where two other girls were already working on their school assignment.

It didn't take them long to finish their homework, and as they were waiting for their moms to pick them up, they chatted and laughed. Becca sent a text to let Jay know she was done, to which he immediately answered with "Give me five minutes," and she knew very well that those 5 minutes could turn into 5 hours. Everything was going well until all the other girls had left, and Becca remained alone.

"Becc, do you need a ride?" one of the moms offered, "I can take you, that's all right, honey."

"Thank you! But my brother will come for me," she replied. She didn't like it when that happened, and it was quite often. She knew all the other moms looked at her with pity, as if she was abandoned, which wasn't true. It was just that she didn't have a full-time mom to drive her around whenever it was needed. Jay did his best to take care of her.

"Are you staying for dinner?" Mrs. Aragón asked Becca.

"Uh, I don't think so. My brother should be here any minute," she instinctively checked her phone.

"Don't worry," her smile was warm, and her voice soothing, "You can stay here as long as you need, no pasa nada," the woman continued when she noticed the girl looking at the clock. "It's getting late, so I'll prepare a plate for you, just in case."

Then, she received a call from Jay, whose tone was anguished.

"I'm so sorry, Becc. I got stuck at the district; I can't leave right now. Ask your friend if you can stay a little bit longer," he said the sentence, but then regretted it, knowing how nervous his sister was. He knew she must be uncomfortable being alone in a new house with new people. He also thought about how the other moms would have seen her being left behind, a thing that he also hated.

"Okay, let me just ask…" The truth was that she was feeling pretty welcome and cozy with the Aragóns.

"No, you know what? I'll send a patrol to pick you up and bring you here."

"A patro–? Jay, no way, don't you dare. It's alright, I can stay here a bit more. They invited me to have dinner, so…" She turned to see her new friend, who nodded in approval.

There was a bit of silence on the other side of the line, then a deep sigh, "Do you want to?" Becca didn't like eating in other places or in front of strangers; it made her anxious, so it was odd how she was managing the situation.

"I'm fine."

With one last "sorry," the call ended.

"We can wait in my room," Catalina invited her as she walked to the stairs. When they were passing by the living room, something caught Becca's attention, and she stopped to peek her head, as if she were drawn to it.

"Wait, what is that?" She was looking at a tall structure covered with white and black tablecloths, decorated with colorful skulls, pictures, and a lot of orange flowers.

"Ah, that's our altar for Day of the Dead," her friend answered as if it were the most natural thing, then took her hand, feeling a little bit rushed to take her out of there. "Come on."

Her attempt was useless, for Becca couldn't take her eyes off it. "May I see it closer?"

"Uh, sure! If that's what you want." It was a strange request. "It's still in progress, but it's almost done," she explained as they approached.

"We're only missing the food," Mrs. Aragón entered the room with a tray of bread, "But that's for the actual day they are coming."

"Who's coming?" Becca frowned.

"The deceased," the woman said simply. Catalina turned to meet her guest's gaze a bit embarrassed, trying to read Becca's thoughts on the matter. As she had learned in her short life, you couldn't give an explanation like that to people, as they usually got scared. To her surprise, Becca was not like every other person.

"Oh, how does that work?" The girl asked nervously.

"Well, Day of the Dead is the day when the deceased come back to Earth to visit their loved ones, the ones they left behind, us the living. That's why we build these offerings for them. It's filled with their favorite foods and beverages so they can have what they used to enjoy when they were alive."

Feeling a bit more secure, Catalina continued, "Also, because they come from a place far away and it's a tiring trip, so they rest here before going back."

"That's right," her mom said proudly.

"It's beautiful, so colorful. I really love it," Becca commented.

"Thank you. We're doing what we can with what we have. Now…" she placed the tray on the altar, "Take one and tell me if it's good" she offered both girls.

"So, this is why it smelled so delicious," Becca said as she inspected the piece of bread, "I've never seen this type of bread before." It was light and fluffy, glazed with sugar and some stange shapes on top of it.

"It's pan de muerto," Catalina said with her mouth half full. "I won't translate it or explain the meaning of it because you might refuse to eat it. Just taste it." She took another bite.

"Oh, this is really delicious."

"I couldn't find any good pan de muerto in the city, so I had to bake it myself."

"Are these your grandparents?" Becca pointed to the pictures.

"Yeah. We put their pictures so they know we still remember them. As we say "Solamente muere el que ha sido olvidado."

"Only those who had been forgotten die" Catalina translated.

Becca kept silent, thinking about her mom, and she mentally ran through Jay's apartment, realizing there were no pictures of her around.

"But isn't it a bit scary? The idea of dead people visiting you?"

Catalina reacted with a smile, "Oh, no. What I would give to hug my granny one more time."

Becca connected that idea to her own mother, and her eyes became watery. A wave of emotions washed over her, and the atmosphere in the room intensified her sensitivity. She had felt empty spaces in her chest before, but never like this – it was like a black hole that opened up within her. Catalina noticed her distress and became concerned that they might have shared too much information and made her feel uncomfortable.

But Mrs. Aragón knew better and warmly smirked, "You're thinking of someone, right?"

"My mommy," Becca answered simply, her voice trembling and a lump forming in her throat. She couldn't hold back the silent tears that welled up in her eyes and streamed down her cheeks. The gaze of four concerned eyes bore into her, and she despised being the center of attention. So she wiped away her tears, acting as if everything was normal.

"I'm so sorry," Mrs. Aragón said as she hugged her by the shoulder. That gesture eased the girl's emotions.

"Oh, but it's okay, don't worry. It happened a few years ago."

"You know what? If you feel like it, you can bring your mommy's photograph to our altar..."

"Mamá..." Catalina scolded her, not knowing how the other girl would react.

"We can make some space for her," she said, pointing to a spot on the offering, imagining how she could rearrange everything to make room for the newly invited one.

"Mom!" She was concerned that she might scare Becca.

"...We'd be glad to have her here.”

Becca hesitated, she was pulled into the idea, but at the same time she felt as an intruder, "But I'm not even Mexican, and I don't want to be a bother, everything is already settled."

"Doesn't matter,” the woman put her hands on her waist, “Everybody's welcome to join if they want to, regardless of their nationality or religion. And you are not a bother, we would only have to move one or two things.”

“Besides, I’m pretty sure my grandparents would love to have a new friend around,” Catalina added, still with a bit of embarrasement in her voice.

Becca bit her lip and, after a few seconds, she nodded, “Yeah, I would like to.” Her words hinted at the deep need to keep her mother's memory alive.

As soon as they arrived home, Becca opened each drawer on the living room furniture and took out every album, looking for the picture.

"What are you looking for?" Jay asked, noticing how stressed she was getting.

“Don’t we have a picture of Mom?” There was a hint of anger in her tone. Her brother felt his blood run cold, for their mother was still a sensitive topic to discuss. He had been the one to deal with her throughout her illness and had to witness her during her worst moments.

“Of course, we have,” he managed to keep calmed as he approached to open one specific drawer, and take a cardboard box from it. “There should be some here.”

Catalina’s mom's words came to Becca’s mind: Only those who are forgotten die. A wave of unease washed over her, causing her stomach to churn with a mix of anxiety and contemplation.

“Why are Mom’s pictures inside of a box inside of a drawer?”

Jay shrugged, not really understanding what was going on. “I keep them here. They are safe in this place.”

“There are no reminders of Mom around in any place in this apartment. Not even at Will’s house". She exploded, "It’s as if we never think about her anymore. Only Dad has framed photos, but he never wants to even mention her.”

"What are you talking about? We always talk about Mom."

"No, that's not true," she said with a calmer tone, but her eyes welled up with tears once more. "You rarely speak about her. Whenever someone mentions her, you change the subject. I understand that her memory brings you pain, which is why I avoid talking about her. But sometimes, I wish I could ask about her, to learn things about her that I never got the chance to know." For a long time, she had managed to keep all these feelings locked inside of her, but the experience of this afternoon had stirred everything within her.

Jay stood still with the box in his hands, silent and carefully listening to his little sister’s words. A bit more relaxed, she sat on the sofa.

“I’ve never said this before, but it really makes me angry that I didn’t get to really know her. It’s not fair that I didn’t get to spend as much time with her as you and Will. Sometimes I get scared I might forget her face, her voice.”

Jay sat by her side and stayed silent for a couple of minutes, trying to organize his thoughts before speaking.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said. “You are right. I won’t explain anything to you, but Mom hurts me in a way you wouldn’t understand, and before you say something, I know you are carrying your own pain, a pain you shouldn’t know of. Believe me when I tell you I’ve done everything in my power to try to protect you from it, but it looks like I’ve failed. It’s hard for me to deal with these emotions, and I probably dragged you into my own turmoil. Even when I was aware that our pain was different, I never thought you felt like this. It never crossed my mind how much you wished, how much you needed to construct mom in your mind. And I’m really sorry.” His words were heavy with the weight of his own grief, understanding the depth of Becca's longing for their mother.

“I don’t want to forget her. I’m so scared I’m gonna forget her.”

“You won't, and I’ll make sure of that.”

“Promise me we can talk about her.”

“Anytime you want, I'll work it out,” He hugged her tightly, the box still on his lap. It was only when they separated that Becca noticed her brother was crying too.

“Where did all this come from, anyway?” Jay inquired. “Why do you need the picture?”

Becca settled on the sofa, turning her face and body towards her brother. “Promise you won’t make fun of me.”

“Never.”

“Okay. Today I saw an offering for Day of the Dead at Cata’s home. It was beautiful, Jay, so colorful and full of…life. They explained to me about the tradition, that the spirits of your loved ones come down to visit you on Earth for a day, and her mother invited me to put Mom’s picture on their altar. She said she’s very welcome to join them.”

“Beccs…”

“No, sssh, wait! Catalina said something that stayed in my mind. She said that, whether it's true or not that they come back, however you see it, this day is a good opportunity to remember and honor the ones that are gone.”

Jay hesitated, “I admit this sounds like a beautiful tradition, but...do you really want to do it?”

“I have no doubt.”

"Fine. In that case…" he finally opened the box, "I think I have the perfect picture," he searched for a specific one among the others and finally took it out, "Here."

Becca got as close as she could to her brother, hugging his arm. They stayed in that position for a while, looking at their mother.

“She was beautiful,” Becca muttered, “You were right, this one’s perfect.”

“We can go out to find a frame tomorrow.”

“I like that. There’s something else we need.”

Jay raised a brow, looking at his sister, “What?”

“What was Mom's favorite food?”

It was November 1st, already evening when the two Halstead siblings arrived at the Aragón's house. Somehow, Becca had managed to convince Jay to accompany her, not just drop her off. He agreed after all her insistence, thinking it might end up being something good for his sister. Anyway, he could deal with his own demons later.

“Here we are,” he said. “You sure you want to do this?”

The girl just nodded, noticeably nervous.

“You know, it’s alright if you don’t like it in the end, if you feel uncomfortable, tell me, and I’ll find a way for us to leave.”

“Yeah, you too,” she told him back. “I don’t want us to stay long, anyway. I wouldn’t like to interfere so much with their customs.”

When Mrs. Aragón opened the door, she saw Jay holding a small food dish and Becca hugging a frame that was facing backward, hiding her mother’s picture from the sight of the others around. She greeted them.

“I’m so glad you came,” her words were full of sincerity. She gave the girl a long and tender hug, which Jay noted to be very maternal. He liked the way they treated her.

“Is this the offering for your mother?” The woman asked, taking the dish from Jay’s hands.

“I guess it is,” the detective answered as they entered.

“Perfect, let’s go put it in its place, then,” her smile was so warm it could melt the poles.

As they entered the living room, a very particular smell became stronger, and they found Catalina lighting all of the incense around the altar.

“It is copal,” Mrs. Aragón explained when she noticed Jay sniffing. “It’s used to cleanse the place of evil spirits so that the souls can enter without any danger.”

The Halstead siblings instinctively turned to see each other.

“Ma, you are going to scare them,” Cata said, “It’s all safe, don’t worry,” she reassured them before greeting them.

“We made this space especially for your mommy,” the girl continued, taking her friend to show her the spot. “We thought it was good for her to be surrounded by marigolds since this would represent her first time coming down. You can place the photograph whenever you feel ready.”

Jay moved unconsciously, with a lot of doubts and questions swirling around his mind. He also noted how Becca was holding the frame tighter and tighter around her arms. He didn’t know how to act; she was being hard to read, so he was thankful for Catalina’s mom's intervention.

“But if you change your mind and don’t feel like putting her there, that’s also perfectly fine, honey,” she then turned to the brother, “I know this is new to you two, and you might find it a little bit strange.”

“...or scary. It’s understandable,” Cata completed.

“No,” Becca finally stated, “I want to do it.” Slowly and with a lot of delicacy and love, she placed the frame with her mother’s picture in its place on the altar. Jay approached her and squeezed both of her shoulders, letting her know he was there for her.

The food they had brought was placed near her, “So she can easily find her dish,” Mrs. Aragón remarked. When everything was settled, Jay and Becca stayed there, staring at their mom. It was a beautiful scene to witness how the photograph had taken on another tone, surrounded by so many colors, illuminated by the candles, the smoke that the incense created, and the orange marigold petals.

“Now we wait for them,” Mrs. Aragón said in a very low voice.

Becca couldn’t help but cry, but she wasn't sad or grieving; actually, she was somehow relieved, the hole in her chest disappeared. Suddenly she didn’t feel so lonely, she didn’t feel like she was missing her mom. Jay wrapped his arm around her, and she hugged him back, surrounding his waist with her arms. He kissed her hair and asked, “You good?”

“Sure, I’m just happy we did this.”

“It is sad to lose a loved one, especially if it's someone very close,” Mrs. Aragón spoke, looking at her own family pictures at the altar. “But at the end of the day, this celebration is a party for them, to remember them and celebrate the lives they had and thank them for the time they stayed by our sides. Of course we are allowed to cry for them, but we should end the evening with a smile.”

The Halsteads didn’t stay much time there, but it was long enough to eat tamales, under the insistence of their host, “because there’s no real party without tamales,” the woman would say.

Becca and Catalina were sitting separated from the adults while having dinner. The atmosphere was very peaceful, and cheerful music was already playing in the background.

“Do you really think this is real?” Becca asked curiously.

“I don’t know,” Cat was looking into the horizon, reflexively. “You know, it is supposed that souls arrive at midnight, during the first moments of November 2nd. When I was a child, by 10 o'clock at night, my grandma would say, 'They should be close by now,' and I would get very excited about the idea. As the clock ticked away, my mom would playfully ask us, 'Where do you think they are at this very moment?' and I took it very seriously, imagining their entire process of coming back home. During the early morning, when I was already in my bed, I pictured them eating their offerings, and I would close my eyes, trying to hear their footsteps in the hallway. For me, it represented the idea of seeing again the relatives I missed and meeting others who had passed away before I was even born, those whom I only knew through stories,” She bit her lip a bit, at this point her eyes were watery, “I don’t know if it’s true, but I really want to believe it is. Ugh, I just want to see my granny one more time and tell her how much I miss her, how much I need her. I’ve been praying all day long to dream with her tonight, that’s all I ask.”

Almost an hour before their arrival, Jay announced their departure. When Becca was about to get into the car, she heard Catalina calling her, so she went back to meet her in the middle of her front yard.

“Here,” She handed her a small bunch of marigolds, “We call this flower cempasúchil, it is used to guide the spirits, show them the way to their offerings, so they don’t get lost. That's why we put so many petals for your mom, to help her. I thought about giving you some, I mean, your mom’s on my altar, but you are not here,” she shrugged, “I don’t think this is the place where she would want to be. I thought you might find it useful,” she winked at her friend and ran back inside.

“It was…something different,” Jay stated on their way back to his apartment.

“Yeah, but I think I liked it.”

That night, Becca waited for Jay to fall asleep and she sneaked into his room to place a couple of marigolds over his nightstand. She did it with a sense of deep emotion. Then, she put the rest in a small glass of water next to her bed, thinking about how much she wished both of them dream with their mommy that night.

Thanks for reading. If you liked it, it would help my soul if you give it a like, comment or share. 😌♡

🎶

Cempasúchil

Natalia Lafourcade - Recuérdame (Solo)

Silvana Estrada — Amor Eterno (Candlelight Original Session)

#Jay Halstead #Jay Halstead x Halstead sister #Halstead sister #Jay Halstead x sister #One Chicago #Chicagi PD #One Chicago fanfic #Jay Halstead fic #Jay Halstead one shot #Day of the dead #Día de muerto #chicago pd #jay halstead imagine

[jackexmachina]

Sam & Kelly you are who you choose to be.

image description: scenes comparing Sam Winchester and Kelly Kline, from “Free to Be You and Me,” “I Believe the Children Are Our Future,” “Point of No Return,” “LOTUS,” “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets,” “The Future,” “The Big Empty,” and “Let the Good Times Roll”

5x03: Lucifer appears to Sam as Jessica, in a dream. They are laying in bed, and Sam stares at her, saying, “Jessica. I’m dreaming?” She smiles a little, saying, “Or you’re not. What’s the difference? I’m here.” He tilts his head, looking at her with longing.

12x08: Lucifer is possessing Jefferson Rooney, the President, and he is in bed with Kelly Kline. She brushes her knuckles against his chest, laughing and telling him to “Shhh...” He tells her, “I won’t laugh.” She looks contemplative as she tells him, “Tonight. Us, here, it felt... Different.”

12x08: Kelly is in the back of a taxi, on the phone with Castiel. She tells him, “I can feel it inside me. I’m its mother.”

12x10: Sam, Dean, and Castiel sit in the map room. Sam says, “But, Cas, at the end of the day it’s... A mom and her kid.”

5x06: Sam, Dean, and Castiel stand in a motel room talking about the child of a demon and a human. Sam says, determined, “He might make the right choice.” Castiel leans closer to him and says severely, “You didn’t. And I can’t take that chance.”

12x19: Castiel sits in a car with Kelly, and she tries to tell him, “This baby– Nothing is born evil.” He says, “I can’t take that chance.” She looks disappointed, and he finishes, apologetically, “None of us can.”

12x19: Castiel and Kelly stand across from Sam and Dean in a motel parking lot. Kelly tells Sam, “If I go with you, you take away the thing that makes him special.” He asks, “How does that matter if you’re both dead?” She says, “That’s the only thing that matters.” Dean interjects, “Okay, this girl has lost her mind.” 

13x04: Sam and Dean sit across from Jack, in a therapist’s office. Dean asks her, “This is a safe place, right, Doc?” The therapist, Mia Vallens, gestures for him to go ahead. He points a thumb at Sam, saying, “My brother’s delusional.”

5x18: Outside the building where the angels have taken Adam, Castiel tells Dean, “But then I won’t have to watch you fail.” Dean looks surprised as Castiel finishes, shaking his head a little, “I’m sorry, Dean. I don’t have the same faith in you that Sam does.”

12x19: Kelly drives with Castiel sitting in the back seat of the Impala, he leans over the back of the front booth. He tells her, “I wish I had your faith.” She stares ahead, beginning to smile a little, answering, “You will.”

13x04: Sam stands with Dean in a cemetery, a short way away from Jack. Dean tells Sam, “Look, you wanted the kid here. He’s here. Alright? But I’m not gonna hold his hand and tuck him in at night. Pass.” Sam looks frustrated as he continues, “I’m not gonna be his mother, and neither are you.”

13x23: Lucifer stands across from Jack; they’re with Sam, Dean, Castiel, and Alternate!Michael, in the map room. He tells Jack, furious, “So what? I killed the girl! Big deal! She’s a– She’s a human! She doesn’t matter!” Jack says, “So am I!” Lucifer points at him and tells him coldly, “And that’s your problem. You’re too much like your mother.”

#sam winchester #kelly kline #lucifer spn #castiel #dean winchester #jack kline #5x03 #5x06 #5x18 #12x08 #12x10 #12x19 #13x04 #13x23 #*mine #s.a #referenced sort of

[scoobydoodean]

I see this held up as major proof of Dean's badness, but couldn't it also be proof of Cas having faith Dean can get past anything without Cas having to change his behavior? The way it's structured the onus is on DEAN to work through it, not others to change or make amends. ---- CASTIEL: You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known. So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on.

I see what you mean in a general sense, and it's extremely possible that Cas is thinking about his own past fights with Dean and Dean forgiving him, and from the perspective of the critique you have in mind that you're refuting, I agree. But of course deancrit casgirls will forever insist that Cas has never in his life done anything harmful to Dean either accidentally or on purpose, so any time Dean might dare try to hold him accountable for anything, he's actually just making shit up and being toxic and controlling, so here Cas is just apologizing for his own abusive relationship. You can only get their take by being deliberately obtuse/disingenuous.

That said, the context of that line (from 15.13 "Destinty's Child") is Cas answering soulless Jack's question about whether Dean will eventually forgive him for murdering Mary.

CASTIEL: Hey, Jack. JACK: Cas, you know what's good about being dead? CASTIEL: Uh, as I recall, very little. JACK: Well, when you come back, you – you really get into all that life is. Hot, cold, sweet, spicy, funny, scary. CASTIEL: And are you? "Into it"? JACK: I want to be. But I don't... feel things the way I used to. Before I lost my... CASTIEL: Your soul. JACK: I used to feel things. In my bones. It was glorious, and sometimes unbearable. But I felt them. Now, I understand joy or sadness, but... I know those things aren't in me. I understand why Sam and Dean were angered by what happened to Mary... CASTIEL: By what you did to Mary. JACK: Yes. I see that I've caused them pain. And it's clear that things have changed. Especially with – with Dean. Will he ever forgive me? CASTIEL: You know, Dean, he – he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known. So it's possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode and let it all out and breathe deeply and move on. JACK: How long will that take? CASTIEL: I don't know.

And yeah—I have seen people refer to Cas's little speech here as "condoning child abuse" and other bullshit. Because how DARE Dean not forgive soulless Jack for murdering his mother (something soulless Jack is unable to actually really acknowledge he did). I mean clearly any time someone murders your mom because she made them mad and threatened their sense of security by asking if they're okay and saying their concerning actions can’t stay a secret… That’s just natural understandable stuff! You need to forgive the person who murdered her instantly and if you don’t idk you’re kinda overreacting don’t you think? :/ I mean your mom probably deserved it kind of anyway for reading the room so wrong and talking about getting a person help. And I mean if you don't forgive the person who killed your mom or do anything trying to stop them from hurting more people you're really a child abuser... toward an adult... who murdered your mother in cold blood and is unable to even understand why it was wrong in any sense other than an intellectual one like he read it from a book... preferring to refer to it as "What happened to Mary" instead of acknowledge it as something he himself did because he was mad and felt threatened—which is what he circled back to in "Jack In The Box" too. It's only when Jack gets his soul back that he's able to actually feel true empathy, acknowledge his real actions and the gravity of them, and give an actual sincere apology. Because his soul is actually important—something this fandom refuses, by and large, to notice.

Anyway, this fandom's take on Mary's murder and soulless Jack vs. regular Jack is overwhelmingly a bag of wet third grader vomit and feces so what can one expect?

#mail #soulless jack killing mary is popularly regarded as an accident... but it's pretty transparent that it wasn't? #or rather it was on purpose but he regretted it the second after it happened. but that is still. Something he chose to do. Not an accident. #He saw her as a threat to his relationship with Sam and Dean and he acted. #This is indicated right before he kills her. He admits it outright also right before calling it an accident which unravels that whole idea. #It wasn’t pre-meditated but in that moment he wanted her to die. She was going to tell everyone there was something wrong with him. #And he did not want that. #It wasn't an accident and he can't handle his own culpability because it threatens his belief that he can make things be the way they were #before it happened. Which is why he killed her to begin with! He didn't want anyone to know/think anything was wrong with him! #And just like soulless Jack just wants everyone to forget about it and act like nothing happened and he's fine... #Many fans want Dean to forget about it. They want Dean to believe and say and feel and think that Mary did not matter. #And that being upset at her literal murder (even if it was an accident—which it was not) is bad and evil. #And Sam's great capacity for numbness (which we already saw in season 13) strengthen's their own lack of empathy for Dean #in a situation that in real life they would understand unless they're actual psychopaths. #It's only because Dean is a character in a narrative representing the need/capacity to be loved and accepted at all #that these demands that his thoughts and feelings bend to everyone else's emotional needs become so disturbingly intrusive #dont feed the stans after midnight #and cas is my best friend #hot girl cas

[slothgiirl]

the trashpile: dympna devers

reader runs into dymphna while picking up some groceries. is cleaning out her dead alcoholic fathers place (who probs did drugs too,,mb?). she gets annoyed and snaps at him and he thinks its hot bc everyone else just does what he wants them too

reader takes a walk pretty late because shes sad that her dad died and even tho they had no relationship its like now theres no way he’ll get better and be a dad, hes just gone. dymphna pulls up in his car, tells her to get in, he’ll drive her back. she doesnt want to. he gets out of the car, leaving it running and talks her into taking a ride with her. (he was trying to be friendly in his own obnoxious grandiose way) they end up parking and drinking together and then they fuck. he complains shes prissy bc uni. reader comments uni is just fucking and going to class for exams. “maybe i shouldve gone to uni then?”

reader starts taking her dads stuff to donation centers. breaks apart the table and tries to figure out if she should just leave it on the curb or take it all the way there. takes a break outside, trying to work through the complicated emotions she has over his death. dymphna spots her and is like i can call arm to help u and shes all like oh why dont u just help urself, thinking hes sort of spoiled in the same way the posh girls at her boarding school were even though hes a pretty trashy wanna be gangster. hes all “id help with the right incentive” she tells him to fuck off but ends up blowing him (and getting him to help).

dymphna takes reader to bar. they play pool and he messes with her. reader notices ppl r looking at her and the way they treat him and she wasnt born yesterday like she knows what it means to be a devers but idk shes into his confident aggression. they have drinks and dymphna ditches arm to go fuck the reader back at his. readers like um dont ditch ur friend? but lets it go quick. wakes up alone and his sisters r like “u came out of nowhere” being bitchy and sussing reader out

reader runs into arm and his family. is not surprised his son is on the spectrum and offers to have her mom write a letter of recommendation so she can get the job at the school in Cork. “ur dymphna’s woman.” “hardly, think i'd remember agreeing to that” 

dymphna shows up at her house late at night and makes a fuss until she opens up. they fuck and he learns she handles customer complaints for some websites (compsci major) reader tries to make appointment to sell house but ends up delaying (still mourning her loss). dymphna takes her out for breakfast. 

reader wakes up at his house. this time dymphna is there and reader complains about the mold in the bathroom. they all give her shit for it and dymphna tells arm to figure that out but readers all no dont- charlie asks if its true she went to uni and reader says yeah, it was a bitch but i finished as dymphna pulls her onto his lap to watch tv. she means to get up and leave but feels comfortable and realizes she has a lot of feelings for him

theres a party at the devers and reader and charlie find a corner and nurse a beer while charlie wonders if she might go to uni. reader goes to get another drink and sees dymphna and his uncle doing coke. reader passes on the coke (not stupid). dymphna makes introductions and his uncle comments its probably best she doesnt do coke (look at ursula) reader snaps that its not anyones fault and his uncle is like uve got lip (control ur woman) and dymphna tells her to shut the fuck up yeah babe? reader gets annoyed and goes to bed (when she should just leave) 

reluctantly cleans the bathroom bc fuck shes not using anything when she can see mold and grime built up (scale i think its called on tile?). complains to dymphna that hes a big fish small pond but still takes his uncles shit and dymphna yells at her getting pissed off that she doesnt understand how business is done. throw things at each other and fuck. after he talks about family and stuff (heavy implication he wants her to be his wife) ill take care of u. reader: i make 80k i dont need anyone

theres some party where ppl get pissed drunk. reader doesnt like dymphna getting high and drunk. it reminds her of her father only her dad got comatose and dymphna gets short tempered and somehow even more wild. charlie and reader hide out in her room. charlie mentions sooner or later he’ll come looking for her and readers like ill kick his arse. charlie laughs and asks if reader will help her with her schoolwork. totally. charlie: i thought u were leaving tho reader: idk anymore. finnigan stumbles in and reader tells charlie to go and throws a bottle at the man but misses. he pins her down on the bed but she manages to grab the lamp and smash it on his head. reader is shaking when dymphna comes in to see what the fuck is going on. reader is like “help me take care of this” he agrees. (shes way more hardcore and cool than he is)

reader has arm and dymphna make it look like finnigan was drunk and drove himself off a cliff. arm drives them back into town. dymphna holds reader close. “we take care of each other” “yeah” 

notes: charlie goes to uni and breaks the cycle. reader and dymphna have their weird toxic codependent relationship and reader eventually takes over the family business

#dympna devers #dympna x reader #the trashpile #i love writing a weird toxic relationship that isnt like AbusiveTM #barry keoghan imagine

[mlobsters]

supernatural s13e2 the rising son (w. eugenie ross-leming, brad buckner)

kind of pissy and upset that crowley is actually dead-dead and it was such a weird anticlimactic sendoff that i didn't even realize it while watching. so seeing his dumb little topside throne room i'm getting all weird and protective over it being his space.

sure felt like a problem behind the scenes and i was avoiding looking it up and well, this is wholly unsurprising

via screenrant

Not long after the Supernatural Crowley death, there was a moment on X (formerly known as Twitter) in which executive producer Jim Michaels hinted that Crowley and Mark A. Sheppard might not be done with the series for good. However, Sheppard responded by accusing Michaels of intentionally misleading fans and stated bluntly there were no plans for him to come back at any juncture.

oof, and the nycc comments summarized by looper

"Once they decided they needed to do something different [with the direction of the show], they tried to get rid of me without telling me that they were going to get rid of me," Sheppard revealed during a solo panel at 2018's New York Comic Con. Never one to mince words, Sheppard expressed his disappointment with his demise on the show, continuing, "I'd gone from being the smartest character on the show to being the dumbest character on the show in two seasons. They ran out of what to do." Needless to say, he did not leave the show on the best of terms.

oof x2

asmodeus, great, sure ok. now he said it the way i thought it was pronounced originally (asmo-DAYus). and then on the magicians, they pronounced it asMO-deeus. i believe they're all accepted pronunciations?

the magicians s1e10 homecoming

the white suit and the thick accent and the speechifying, it's giving confederate general slash colonel sanders vibes. the foghorn leghorn knives out treatment. also feels like he's doing an impression of someone. i keep thinking mcconnaughey but i don't know why, different accent

eyes rolling into the back of my head

i didn't think the show could get bad enough that i wouldn't be able to finish watching, because i have such a strong attachment to sam and dean... but i feel like that they might be proving me wrong

DEAN You can slow down, you know. That’s stuff’s not gonna disappear. SAM Ever seen you eat, Dean?

seriously. one of my least favorite character traits

that interaction was cute, mainly because jackles seemed way more... i dunno. relaxed? and that little small expression to sam where he widens his eyes to jack getting what teleport is, just feels really natural. also his voice seems slightly different? more like jensen's actual voice dropped a little instead of putting on the voice for dean. less raspy, more resonant and rounded sounding but still deep. well and likely that's been happening and i just didn't notice or they're doing the audio differently

wheezing over the perspective of this making sam look like gandalf with the hobbits on the couch

speaking of resonant voices, donatello the new prophet that i 90% forgot about

JACK Is that why Dean hates me? SAM Dean doesn’t hate you. It… Look, sometimes the wires in Dean’s head get crossed and—and he gets frustrated, and then he mixes frustration with anger, and—and fear. JACK Why would he be afraid? SAM Because Dean feels like it’s his job to protect everyone. And right now, we need to protect you. But we may also need to protect people from you. JACK Maybe I’m not worth all this. SAM Your mom thought you were. So did Cas. So do I.

i'll take sam talking about dean every day of the week but eh. grating on me a bit this thing with sam being calm and reasonable and dean being stubborn, either it has happened a lot in the past couple seasons or i'm being grumpy because i'm unhappy with the show in general

BARTENDER I hated my old man. I ran away myself. See, my mom would never stick up for me. But… (sighs) you know kids. No matter what, they still want the old man’s approval. Well, that’s how it was with me, just… DEAN You know, that’s, uh, that’s how it was with me, too.

frustratingly in-character that dean will dump out his emotional issues to randos. and oh no it was actually the latest bad guy demon

so whatever fic i read that i thought was about purgatory i'm wondering if it was in this hell-au/apocalypse world because this is more like what i was expecting from purgatory. gray and dirt

sitting down to talk through their disagreement in obnoxious slatted light

SAM Point is… if you and I are gonna do this, keep Jack on the right side of things, then—then we have to be on the same page. DEAN Okay. Well, that’s the problem, though, Sam, ‘cause we’re not on the same page. Like, at all. SAM All right. You know what? I know what’s going on here. DEAN Oh. Okay. Well, please, tell me, what’s going on here? SAM You thinking Mom is gone and Cas is gone, and that Jack can’t be saved. Dean, after everything we’ve gone through… We just lost people we love, people who have been in our lives for a long time. Everything’s upside-down. I get it. But we’ve been down before. I mean, rock bottom. And we find a way. We fix it because that’s what we do. And Jack w—wants to do the right thing. Jack’s scared to death of who he is, and he’s scared of you.

very rousing speech, sammy. i'm not feeling it but sure

listen. this is the most ridiculous plot choice. 1) we need to protect jack and take him to the bunker because angels/demons/etc all want him, tried to get him warded via tattoo 2) not-hunter donatello shows up so hey, jack can stay with him because things got tense yesterday. he doesn't need that close of protection that we should tolerate unnecessary tension. 3) oh no. general colonel sanders has found him and now he's gone ;( big sad face

who choreographed this fight scene??? laughing and distressed. stunt person getting some up close and personal time with jackles's (or his stunt double's) crotch/ass

often wondered why they never throw the angel blades, since they're dime a dozen these days. can't have anything too op though right, why they had to melt down the colt. also sam's hair seems to be sort of reverting more to that... s10? styled-ish bob thing

foley of the outside sounds is very nice and interesting location at least

the monsters crawling out of the pit very slowly was so so cheesy, good grief

every time we check in with mary and lucifer i'm wondering how she's not going to die from dehydration. and michael and lucifer are gonna have a little throwdown punchout, sure

SAM These yellow-eyed things just keep on comin’, huh? DEAN Mm—hmm.

how it feels as a viewer too 🥴

this episode had some new angles and lighting and getting a little more creative in shot selection, so that's nice at least. also less music? there's still some score but i think like this sequence not having music is really effective. and hey this guy directed 11x04 baby too

JACK Exactly. What the hell am I? I can’t control… whatever this is. I will hurt someone. DEAN You know, my brother thinks you can be saved. JACK You don’t believe that. DEAN No, I don’t. JACK So… if you’re right? DEAN If I’m right… and it comes to killing you… I’ll be the one to do it.

i'm all for them having a kid, because why not. you know i eat up that domestic bullshit with a spoon. but this very clear setup of a character arc for dean and jack and whatever, just feels very set up.

i keep thinking about how like, if xyz that happened in this episode happened in s4 or something, i think i'd genuinely appreciate it then. but like.. we have been down the same path so many times now, i can't really appreciate the things anymore. i don't want to hate everything, and i'm really trying to come into each episode with limited baggage and appreciate when i can because otherwise i will just give up. this is the only thing i do in the evening after the kids are in bed. if i hate everything about it every day, i'll have to find something else to do sooner rather than later. but i'm also invested in completing it. if i've made it this far.. buh. anyway.

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 13x02 #spn asmodeus #spnwhinge #the magicians #spn clip #eugenie ross leming #brad buckner #spn crowley #mark sheppard

[muirmarie]

Dean feeding on grace in S4, but instead of it giving him powers, it just makes him numb, like Heaven keeps doing to Cas. Dean feeding on grace to keep at bay the Hell nightmares/PTSD, and numbing himself at the same time Cas is finally becoming LESS numb.

And then S15, where instead of trying to push Cas away, Dean actively tries to USE Cas for the remnants of his grace to try to block out the feelings about him mom and Jack and ALL of it, at the same time Cas is raw emotion (his son is dead! His son, that Cas has preemptively died for, is dead!), and when Cas pushes him away, Dean tries to sleep with him (for the first time) in order to manipulate him, and Cas just fully shuts down and walks away.

S15 Purgatory prayer, and then Dean, looking at Cas at the portal, saying, "I have to say something." And Cas can't let him say it. Can't let him admit that maybe Dean wants him for real.

Dean, feral, only agreeing to talk to Lucifer in 15x19 in exchange for grace, and wanting to spit it out, because it feels and tastes so wrong, but also if he can suffocate the hole in his chest, if only for a few hours -

Dean, holding the vial of Cas' grace they removed to get Cas out of the Empty, looking into Cas' newly human eyes, and asking him to hide it far, far away from Dean, because things might be good right now, things might be the best they've ever been right now, but -

Cas just nods.

It's a relief, after all, knowing Dean wants him in spite of his humanity. It's a relief, because for one brief moment, when Dean held the knife to Cas' throat in the Empty, vial in hand, Cas didn't know what he was going to do.

Addiction, after all, just a dangerous thing. Cas remembers what it was like to be forcibly numbed to it all by Heaven, but he was never given a choice.

It's a relief, then, to be chosen.

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #castiel #grace addiction #writing ref #start the year as you mean to go on etc etc

[suethor]

SPN OCs....I am wondering I am asking I am listening

omg hey bestie..............saurrrr

ace winchester: sam's (older) twin played by crystal reed (i think? or phoebe tonkin); queer; womanizer.

she and dean are too alike for their own good, but she's a little bit worse at repressing her emotions. she's used to standing up for sam, and when he left to go to stanford, she was devastated, but they kept in touch and she visited him from time to time

spends most of her time reading in the backseat of the impala and listening to britney spears on her mp3 player

has a lot of tattoos, most of them are angel/demon/monster/nancy drew themed

shipped with a lot of people, but i think endgame is probably a fem!castiel (exploring queerness with cas as a vessel (cas is i think played by khadija red thunder)) or a different gq angel

her fic leans WAY more into the y2k early supernatural seasons vibe and isn't as gimmicky as the post s5 narratives

the end of the fic is sam going to law school and her and dean opening up a PI agency near where he settles down, where she occasionally helps sam out once he becomes a defense attorney and hunts monsters on the side

veronica "vex" vernon: witch; played by adria arjona

academic witch graduate student in demonology who deals potions to regular people on the side (yes like a drug dealer)

joins the winchesters as "field research" and stays for the found family sometime late in season 1

shipped with sam because she's also kind of addicted to magic and they heal each other ... <3

continues to deal drugs when she's on the road with the winchesters in order to supplement her income (her research grant money is used bailing dean out of jail)

kind of like the giles to dean and sam's buffy. but also the willa.

does not live out of a backpack like dean and sam do and so dean has to move all his shit out of the trunk to make space for her clothes and books

natalie chan: stanford student with a dark past; sam's college bestie; played by chase sui wonders

her mom, played by maggie q, was a hunter killed by azazel in the same way mary and jess were; she tags along with sam and dean after discovering jess' body

was a bit of a wild child but in a coping poorly way; she has an ongoing drinking problem that she learns to deal with

shipped with dean in a hookup to besties to lovers dynamic; they start off hooking up drunkenly after a night in a dive bar, but natalie feels SUPER guilty about it because of sam, so she doesn't say anything and they don't hook up again. but there's also a barrier of intimacy that's been broken down by it, and neither of them can bail like they usually do on their one-night stands, so they grow really close and eventually fall for each other.

super protective of other women, especially college students. when they're hunting and they run. into people younger than her, it activates something.

always covered in blood (#finalgirl)

bonus!!!! hbo!supernatural oc!!!!

jessica "monday" lunes: played either by amber midthunder, fivel stewart, or alexa demie (lol.)

taken in by john after her parents were killed by vampires, a few months before sam left for stanford

grew up with the winchesters from age 16 on; dean and john both call her "monday" or "my monday" because of her last name

the secret reason she was taken in that john doesn't reveal: she's a supernatural magnet. for whatever reason, the dead gravitate towards her—which is why her parents were killed. she also seems to have some sort of immunity, though—they never want to hurt her

suffers from terrible nightmares all the time; doesn't realize they're actually visions from nearby dead

john took her in both to protect her but also because he hoped that she might attract the thing that killed mary

fic condenses the seasons a bit so castiel appears sooner and explains to her that she has divine origins

#asks #YAURRRR #thank u for asking bestie mwah

[myst1calx]

Okay, this is gonna sound inconsequential... but this actually reveals how large swaths of, what I dub, "Cap-not-Steve fans" Do Not Understand Steve Rogers

I don't like September 28th (or w/e the day was) as Steve's birthday either (January 3rd winter baby born of hardship is so much more symbolic) but anyone begging for Steve's real b-day to be America ca-caw 🦅 🇺🇸 does not get him tee bee aich¡

And really it speaks to just how much Marvel has (to this day) flanderized Steve into a generic cardboard cutout Mr. Murrica Sweet Home Alabama Man that his "fans” can get mad at any time Steve finally gets humanized like a real person and not a 🇺🇸🦅 propaganda bland white bread blank slate

the name "Captain America" was in-universe just a propaganda dancing stage show persona that Steve was put into, he hated it and wanted to actually fight for real. Every "Cap" thing should be treated as a foreign imposition that Steve has to muscle past in order to be a Real Hero.

A core (but often forgotten) part of Steve's character is him being treated as a joke even after the serum at first, and this is in part of his foil-ness with Bucky, who was in the military first and given the more dangerous and bloodier missions while Cap is pushed out to look good for the military propaganda camera crew that followed them around. A huge part of the Spectre of Captain America is that the identity was superimposed onto Steve and he was forced to play a part so he can strive to be a Real Hero too, and repeatedly a lot of those Real Hero moments are of Steve being in defiance to the flag that the Cap persona was made to serve. Steve's most human moments is when we remember that he was a person before he was told to be "Cap". So, ofc July 4th ain't his birthday lmaooo.

a lot of yall onhere&twt seem more about making him a "whimsical" unironic Sat morning cartoon/caricature of unrionic 🇺🇸🦅 propaganda, but that's literally when Steve's character is most disservice and least memorable. Him being a regular person sucked into the machinations of military and propaganda to then defy & forge his own identity through it is when the character is human and compelling

I'm not sure if you're the same person from last time, but I want to say smthn rq: his birthday is July 4th because it's fun and whimsy to do so, it was just fucking silly dude it's not that deep!!

The one of reason they chose Steve was bcz his birthday landed in July 4th, not he main reason but its a key fun little tid bit that doesn't need to be changed because it's LITERALLY his birthday. (And the fact that like,, his mom told him that the fireworks were "for him?" AWH. LIKE DONT REMOVE THAT THATS KEY TIME WITH HIS MOTHER-- It doesn't contribute much other than to say "hey your birthday is in independence day you might be viable for this cap thing alongside being a generally great dude lmao" changing it to September 28th doesn't add much other then removing fun little stuff like his july 4th birthday because marvel wants dumbass MCU syndication and makes everything boring and no-fun because of how the marvel movies are set up like a weird mishmash of All the worst parts of ults and Hickmanvengers alongside removing all the fun bits.

Also Chris evens is a Zionist I don't trust that fucker as cap anyway don't bring that shit over here 😭

Plus, on the part where you said that he "hated" being cap you are WRONG. dead ass wrong. MCU!Steve hated being cap, because it was a trait copied from ults.

Normal Steve (616 Before civil war, AA, MAA, emh, ma, you get the idea, even Hickmanvengers and ults Steve) all enjoyed being cap because they were able to be a moving force for young people and as we all know if you've read the comics steve loves doig stuff as cap and teaching kids and making people say and helping people and shit! He love it! He likes helping people and he has a strict moral code he abides by!! helping people isn't a job he just wants to do it because he can and he will and it's the same reason that the avengers aren't coworkers because they desire to do these things (helping people, seeing kids, saving the city,) because they chose to be that force that could guide people out of bad situations and HELP people with the power they have. MCu!Steve acts the way he does because the people writing him don't get his character and it seems to be neither do you.

The thing is is that Cap suffers from the fact that most people can't tell the different between the mask and the man behind it and that was a clear internal thing he struggled with as he comes to terms with living in the ultra modern 21st century 😭(and even then I have alot of gripes with the fact that people still think that Steve doesn't know how to operate technology: shut the fuck up he's like in his mid 20s he can figure it out easily he not a old cretin he has good reflexes and memory it shouldn't be that hard, also: watch The Episode "Super adaptoid" from the cartoon avengers assemble , or go watch the entire show while your at it, genuinely. he's the best characterized Steve we've had in such a long time)

As much as he is the personifying thing of a flying flag and some adaptations go to that stuff as being the core of his character it is only a small part of what is a symbol for peace and I think you don't realize that because on multiple occasions he disavows his captain America identity(Sentinel of Liberty, Y'know when he handed his Cap identity to Sam???) to help people without the ties and I think that's something alot of people forgot that despite the fact that due to the entire of who Steve is it wasnt the suit that built who he was and what he represents it was his character and choices.

That man is not a blank slate. He represents more than the war he faught in and the country he faught for and saying he's just that is a misservice to his character and who he representss outside and inside of the suit, any suit.

End of Ted talk uhhh (explodes) watch avengers assemble and pick up a cap comic from like.. pre-90s idk if you want I'll give you a reading list?? Read Man out of Time first though, yeah?

#myst.txt #[ myst asks ☆ ]

[benefits1986]

Dead-ends

That hyphen on the word "dead-end" makes more sense and no sense, at once. Or it is just me and my dyslexic moody nothingness, yet again? This morning, dad was supposed to go on a long ride in ode of the long weekend. In an hour or so, we heard a loud sound that seemed like a firecracker, a loud one to be exact. Since I am still recovering, I asked him to check it out. He opened the door of our tiny house and looked around. Lo and behold, his three-year old bike tire exploded. We were talking about how mother dragon must have been breathing down my neck and today, my dad's neck, too. LOL. I asked him to thank mom because he could have gone wild on the roads especially during lusongs na malala. He stopped and looked at me. I knew he misses mom more and more.

I nebulized today because I can feel my breath shorten a bit which is not usual for me. Asthmatic era na ba talaga ako as an old lady with pets who shed their furs a whole lot this time of the year? LOL. I said sorry to Vici as he had to sleep on his own because mhie, I am literally and figuratively breathless-ish. Damn this bug. Ang lala but we are not stopping. Dad asked me saan ba ako pupunta this long weekend. LOL. I said that he should stop irking me because I can't afford a binat. A number of close friends are recovering from the flu for two weeks and counting; and I CANNOT imagine me in that scenario. Anyhow, I am supposed to backpack in no less than Bicolandia. However, I need to prioritize my health not only in time for the mega mad dash to the end of Q4, 2023. More importantly, the past days and weeks taught me that I am not getting any younger. Yes, I am not taking any maintenance drugs, thankfully; but it does not mean that I can go all out non-stop. LOLOLLOLLOLL. FML. I went easy on OD-ing vitamins and meds because my liver maybe crying out loud. I remember LA Tenorio's post which talks about his bout with CA. It's not just about the game but most importantly, the one who drives the ball and is part of the team. It begins and end with the self... always. This is easier said than done especially when I along with countless millennials are experiencing the pull of gravity; regardless of BMI, insulin resistance, number of zeroes in our bank accounts or the emoji reacts that our feed grants us. :D LELS.

We're all racing toward our own versions of dead-ends. We're all bound by our breath and nothing else, really. We're all but a speck of dust in the wind. It's funny how we often say that dogs' dead-ends are shorter than ours; however, I'd like to believe that all dogs have a life well-lived. They know what true love, compassion, loyalty and pure intention are. Enough said. I might be too dramatic for tonight's thought fart. I guess this is my way of resisting the AI boss bitch streak which is where I'm swimming in and will be in for the next X number of years. I guess I'd want to believe that there is a better version of Her (the movie starring Joaquin Phoenix) in this lifetime. I guess, humanity will prevail if and only if there'd be people who'll choose to make their versions of dead-ends worthwhile. Can I just say that I kinda feel like Anne Frank right now? So many social unrest, injustice towards the women and the disadvantaged. So many unnecessary factions that can actually be tackled if and only if people come together to over-communicate and negotiate. If only we work toward our dead-ends to heal the world instead of lambasting it more and more, maybe, just maybe, we'd be in a better ground. Let's see. For the meantime, I shall rest my case. Catch you in the next one!

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 207

King of the Damned

Truly, I could not have planned this weekend of HNT better. We’ve got David Tenant back tomorrow AND Metatron trying to convince an angel to help him fix heaven in TWO series…on GO2 release weekend

“King of the Damned”

Plot Description: Castiel captures one of Metatron’s angels and asks Sam and Dean for help. Meanwhile, Abaddon demands that Crowley help her kill Sam and Dean

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: as far as I know, I have no connection to anyone Abaddon personally wants dead, so I might be alright. That said, if she decided to kill me, she’s more than welcome to

Oh…these are all angels, and…this one’s being STUPIDLY braggy

Right? Like, don’t go around bragging about how you’re the right hand man for Metatron. Most angels don’t like him

I’m tired of Cas being forced into leadership roles. He fucks it up every time, but angels can’t help but want to follow him.

Cas showing affection still makes my heart melt. Omg. Please. Saying another angel can “be a little stuffy.”

I’m never going to be 100% comfortable with the interrogation (*coughtorturecough*) scenes, but now that the Mark of Cain is amplifying Dean’s actions, I’m even less comfortable with them

CROWLEY’S IN CLEVELAND?!?! …that’s not a real hotel here. (So after some research, looks like it’s modeled after a hotel that used to be here? Or is under a different name here and is super haunted apparently?? Because I needed to make sure before I posted this)

“Nobody in the history of torture has been tortured with the torture you’ll be tortured with” real dialogue from Crowley

Oh…that guy from the first five minutes was Crowley’s son. Ooooo, ok. I take it back. Abaddon can have a scene where she’s doing the torturing, as a treat

Omg. Forget playing whatever music for a Victorian orphan. Just be the king of hell, have your son from 200-some years ago get brought to 2015 or some shit and tell him you traded your soul for three extra inches of dick. It’s even better

Ok…I THOUGHT they left him fine…good to have that confirmation (I’ve been drinking wine so it…was a possibility i missed something)

Oh!! We get (possibly) our first mention of Rowena, Crowley’s mom!!

WHAT HAPPENS TO THE SHIP, CROWLEY??

The way Cas sees some of himself in Gadreel is kinda cool

Uh oh boyyyyyyys, you got a hellhound on your tail?? Omg the way Crowley effortlessly controls it, but like…why was it there in the first place?

Idk I think Sam should take the blade. Like the few moments a different Sam had the One Ring. What if we get a “I can’t carry it but I can carry you” moment for these two??

Wait. Is Crowley’s son’s name actually Kevin? That makes all his torture of Kevin Tran even more SO SICK AND TWISTEEEEEEED. SICK AND TWISTED.

Also, who’s gonna tell this guy he’s already IN and actually PAST “the colonies”

Oh hell yeah!! I love that Abaddon pulled the “devils trap bullet” trick on Crowley while waiting for the Winchesters (I will be so sad to see her go and for however the boys take her out…)

I may not go downtown a whole lot but this…does not look like Cleveland

…but the power of the One Ring First Blade cannot be denied

Please tell me he’s—he’s gonna Jedi mind trick the Blade into his hand.

Please don’t show her too much…I know the First Blade is corrupting Dean but he didn’t need to stab her that much. So thankfully they didn’t linger on the wounds. RIP Abaddon 😭😭😭 you will be sorely missed by me

GAVIN MAKES WAY MORE SENSE FOR AN OLDE TIMEY NAME!!!! But it did sound a LOT like Kevin

Jesus, Deeeeeean. You’re allowed to go it alone but Sam always needs your help and intervention?? The way you’re saying this like y’all could afford to NOT close the gates of hell…I’m usually a Dean apologist, but Sam is in the right here.

Well, now you’re just being an ass by not allowing the blade out of your sight…

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023 #contains spoilers for good omens 2 in the first paragraph #this also got long because I had some wine

[sanjosenewshq]

My spouse did not inform me why the key mailbox was

Expensive Abby: I married my highschool sweetheart in 1967. In 1979, after 12 years of marriage, we refinanced our mortgage so we might add a room. Throughout a credit score test, it was delivered to my consideration that my spouse had borrowed $14,000 and had opened a secret mailbox in a distinct metropolis to cover it from me. The issue was, and nonetheless is, that for 52 years she refused to inform me why. For sure, my confidence in her was shaken. She had no issues with ingesting, playing or medicine. I should have requested her a thousand instances what she wanted the cash for, and she or he nonetheless had no reply. Our marriage went down hill, I had an affair, and we broke up. In 1990, we bought again collectively, however it wasn’t the identical. The youngsters grew up, so we divorced after 4 years. My children at the moment are away from me as a result of all they know is that I used to be having an affair. I am 75 now, married once more 20 years in the past, and I nonetheless cannot work out why she could not inform me the reality to save lots of our marriage. (Abortion nonetheless pops into my thoughts.) Not a day goes by with out me pondering even in any case these years. I suppose I will surprise till the day I die. recommendation? nonetheless in the dead of night expensive nonetheless: What your ex wanted for this cash is anybody’s guess. You could have used it to save lots of a pal who was in hassle. It was additionally doable to pay a worth for extortion. The probabilities are so various that guessing her motive generally is a parlor sport. Because you requested, my recommendation to you is to let the previous keep prior to now and cease bothering your self about one thing you will not get a direct reply for. There are few simpler methods to cut back the thrill of the current than doing what you do. Expensive Abby: We lately discovered that my 19-year-old daughter is pregnant. That is her first boyfriend, and she or he is completely in love with him. He is requested her to marry him, and we’re excited and joyful for her, however there’s one factor we’re having a tough time with: I am nearly positive he is dishonest on her. They reside with us, so I can see the indicators – he says he is working late, and he is advised her a number of instances he has to work all night time. He is at all times on his cellphone, by no means letting her see him. He retains her silent and her face down. When he will get a textual content (typically), he instantly says he has to go to the lavatory. Then he stayed there for about half an hour. I attempted to speak to her about what I see, however she will get mad at me. She says she trusts him and insists he won’t ever cheat on her. It hurts to observe this occur to her, and I do not know how you can take care of it. Ought to I maintain bringing it up or let her determine it out on her personal? He is aware of all the things effectively Expensive is aware of: I’ve already introduced it up. Your daughter mustn’t rush into marriage simply because she is pregnant, if that is her intention. Since your boyfriend lives with you, he’s most likely not mature or financially secure sufficient to marry anybody. (What do his dad and mom consider this?) I have been tempted to rent a non-public investigator to see if the man is definitely working late or all night time, however I am unsure it’s good to go for these bills. The reality will finally reveal itself. Within the meantime, give your daughter as a lot emotional assist as she’s going to want it, possibly extra. Abbey Abbey was written by Abigail van Buuren, also called Jane Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Originally published at San Jose News HQ

#San Jose News HQ

[shallowseeker]

Dean + "Everything we've ever wanted..."

Ah yes. Everything we’ve ever wanted. He means everything he—Dean’s ever wanted. Which is so telling. Like, wow. He was gonna say that out loud in one version of the script. A parent who loves him and—and a Cas.

Everything he ever wanted. 🫣 how long has he been wanting Cas in some capacity…like DAMN.

He’s doing the we—I thing again that Max and Alicia do but the sentiment is so sweet. This is why Sam is so in tune with what Dean needs to be happy and keep fighting in The Trap and why he reacts Like That to Chuck’s vision. It might have taken Sam a long time to get it, but I think he finally did on some level, even if he doesn’t label it or know what to make of it. He knows it’s significant.

This above script snippet is a version of All Along the Watchtower right before Jack was born btw. And right before Cas dies. Boy it makes it hurt more. Dean had so much hope starting out. He was even accepting letting Jack be born at full power because he decided to trust Cas.

—

In later seasons, he has mom, Cas, Jack the kid he never thought he’d get to have, by his own admission. Which means that Jack FEELS more like his kid than others in past which means he opened up in a terrible, TERRIBlE way. He thought he could have Jack. He thought he was allowed to keep Jack.

<find script referencing “I’d never thought I’d get that”>

He even fantasized about adding John to the family unit, but it was more for Mary. But in the end, he wouldn’t trade his current life, not even for her happiness. He looks so guilty when John gets ripped away from her. Dean specifically looks guilty. (There’s a parallel to his current life and great relationship with Sam and Mary, sure, but the narrative parallel is more directly tied to the “angel and the devil’s kid” that he lives with. And it’s Dean who insists, “I have a family.” In that Telling Way. It’s very wow, like on the nose wow, even for the GA.) John disappears and immediately Cas walks through the bunker door. And Cas sort of visually and narratively does have John’s role as familial protector/shield here, but it’s off-center. Not tied to Mary. 👀

And later, like in Game Night? He has Mom, Cas, and Jack (and duh—Sammy) but he starts the episode in a terrible state because Cas is out doing good knows what and he can sense when Cas is being cagey and it stresses him. Mary and Jack lament that “this was supposed to relax him.” They’re trying to do the typical Sammy playbook and give him “treats” so he turns into “happy Dean.”

Then it all comes crashing down again. He goes from hopelessly worried about Jack—“he’s safe with her,” as in he was worried about Nick getting to Jack but Mary will protect him:

…And you know the rest.

He loses Mary, and in his mind he loses Jack at the same time. “That’s not Jack anymore.” He completely dissociates His Jack from That Jack. And Jack and Cas are dead to him because his family, that makeshift family that’s all he ever wanted—is decimated. The other shoe dropped. He’s not just grieving Mary in That Scene. He’s grieving Jack. He’s grieving his perfect everything-he-ever-wanted.

He should’ve known better than—angels. All his instincts warned him about angels and Donatello and—lions—and—it’s not the snake it’s the bite—and all his instincts have been screaming at him about Cas since forever—but he still made them his family anyway. He knew better he knew better he knew better than to…

He chose the wrong man—not a man but a soulless too-powerful angel—and the wrong kid—not a kid but a little monster. It was too good to be true—of course it was too good to be true—and it’s his fault he’s so stupid he knew better …

But he couldn’t help it 💔

And THEN in the last season he knows better but they’re back with them and he knows better

He’s doing it all over again he’s loving them he can’t help it

He can’t help but not cut Cas out because he desperately needs Cas

But no not Jack—keep Jack at arm’s length—too painful—too dangerous. And he’s gonna save the world and maybe die anyway so it’s better to disengage sooner because he is not gonna get to keep Jack and never was. They need to kill Chuck for what he did to ruin them they’re already ruined it’ll never be the same so—so …

Disengage

Disengage … Jack is not family that’s too painful

He won’t fall for it again he knows better

And yet in such a relatively short time, Dean is repairing his family in the midst of a family murder and the death of a child and his own attempted filicide — all incredible traumas on their own — Chuck must have been so pissed.

If only Lebanon had included a snide, taunting-ish warning from John and the dangers of living with said angel and the devil’s kid, Dean could have been more thoroughly mentally tortured. Chuck missed out on writing that line.

#my slideshare ran out for scripts #so I gotta get the snippets later #on Dean choosing dangerous chosen family #because he can’t help it #power differentials be damned #season 15 #season 14 #painful dynamics #incredible trauma #destiel

[sun-3-160]

dean literally can’t even say out loud that cas is dead im running around my enclosure like a wild animal

#he can say that HIS MOM might be dead but not cas #spn #supernatural #destiel #deancas #13x01

[mlobsters]

supernatural s13e3 patience (w. robert berens)

recap including gutter bunny sam, huh. ok. i try to keep in mind too that even if there's a slight glancing reference to something, they'll put a whole ass clip in the recap. when it might just be a reminder that hey, vampires exist. demon blood makes people high. etc

if they bring missouri back to then hurt her, i'm gonna be pissed. i always wished she'd been a recurring character

i guess this is the grown up version of brotherly conflict, instead of lying and hiding things, we're gonna clash over whether jack is inherently evil

SAM Because we need to stay here. We need to help Jack learn how to control his powers. Jody can handle this. DEAN Yeah, maybe she can. Or maybe she ends up dead because you wanted to skip out on her to babysit the antichrist.

trying to remember if we're blaming jack for mom and cas "dying" somehow? lucifer is the responsible party there, crowley if we go back to lucifer being out to begin with. cas for lucifer being out originally and creating jack? anyway, just trying to rationalize dean being upset about mom and cas (and i guess crowley) and taking it out on sam in this way

sweet

MISSOURI He has his reasons. I’ll just stay behind, say my farewells to Dede. DEAN No, I don’t like that at all. MISSOURI You don’t have to like it. You just have to do it. You save my family, you hear me, Dean Winchester? DEAN Yes ma’am. MISSOURI Good. And thank you.

saw the "yes, ma'am" a mile away and was still good to hear. and he kind of folded in on himself looking a lot younger. just makes me sad. reminds me of times long, long since past. also lodging a complaint that she should come with purely for protection purposes

what the flying fuck was that? she just. stuck around to die. and she's dead. so she could be setup for saving her family?? what the FUCK, show. of all the one-off side characters, she was one that stuck with me straight away and you bring her back to immediately, and i mean IMMEDIATELY kill her. bullshit.

"the drama of the gifted child" and the awkward maneuvering in front of the laptop screen so he can miss jack moving. oy. this is just...

JACK Yeah well, Dean sees it. That’s why he says… he said he’d kill me. SAM He what? JACK And maybe he should. Mom said I could be good, that I had the choice to be good, that it was up to me. But she’s dead, because of me. I’ve only been on earth for a few days and I’ve already hurt people. I’ve already done bad things, and no matter how hard I try I can’t… I can’t do the one good, stupid thing you want me to. So I must be evil, like Lucifer.

i think i should have seen the allusion to sam feeling like a freak but we just met jack and this is all so... well. they want him to act like a person with no life experience and so it's all this disconnected childlike situation, but not really getting any sincere feeling emotion off him, also possibly because we just met him! no-win

JACK Sam, why are you being so nice to me? SAM Because I know what it feels like, to feel like you don’t belong. To feel like there’s this darkness inside of you, to be scared of who you are, what you can do. Dean, Cas, my family helped me through that. So now I want to help you, because you’re not evil, Jack.

glad they just said it straight out because i really don't think i was gonna reach this conclusion myself

dean so indignant, jody with the support and "cool it, bro" frown

find it pretty weird they're wedging in this missouri was actually a hunter backstory to make this plot shit work. also have some logistical questions how one feeds on a brain for an extended period of time without killing the brain owner

PATIENCE I talked to my dad. He thinks I should put it away. Dad says we should just get back to normal. Maybe he’s right. DEAN He is. This life, hunting, monsters, there’s no joy in it. There’s nothing but pain, horror and death. So if you get a chance at normal, you take it.

got the mushy music treatment.

JODY Patience, wait. I may be out of line here but you don’t have to listen to him. To either of them if it’s not what you really want. I had a daughter, I guess, Claire, and I asked her to stay in line, to fight who she really was because I thought it would keep her safe. It didn’t work, it never does. Your gift… or maybe you’re right, maybe it’ll go away. But if it doesn’t? You try to force it down to make someone else happy, you will only make yourself miserable. It’s your choice. But if you ever need someone to talk to or someplace to go, my door is always open.

and jody coming back with the realistic and less bitter advice, no more mushy music during this bit

DEAN I told him the truth. See, you think you can use this freak but I know how this ends and it ends bad. SAM I didn’t. DEAN What? SAM I didn’t ‘end bad’. When I was the freak, when I was drinking demon blood. DEAN Come on man, that’s totally different. SAM Was it? Because you could’ve put a bullet in me. Dad told you to put a bullet in me, but you didn’t! You saved me! So help me save him! DEAN You deserved to be saved, he doesn’t! SAM Yes he does, Dean, of course he does! DEAN Look, I know you think that you can use him as some sort of an interdimensional can-opener and that’s fine, but don’t act like you care about him! Because you only care about what he can do for you! So if you want to pretend, that’s fine! But me? I can hardly look at the kid! Because when I do all I see is everybody we’ve lost! SAM Mom chose to take that shot at Lucifer. That is not on Jack! DEAN And what about Cas? SAM What about Cas? DEAN He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!

well, thanks for the explainer as to why he blames jack for everything since i clearly couldn't get there myself. i call bullshit on that logic but whatever. dean's upset, he's being mean. there's certainly precedent for that for him too. and i guess we needed something awful enough to get jack to send some interdimensional DM to cas in the big empty

at least my irritation is prompting me to watch the episode faster and shut up more.

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 13x03 #robert berens #missouri moseley #spn mushy music #spnwhinge

[formula1andbeyond]

Picking up the pieces - G.R.

Pairing: George Russell x Williams!Reader

Summary: After the loss of your grandpa, formula 1 legend Frank Williams, you call the only person you can think of. George. But nearly two months after your break up, will this affect anything?

Wordcount: 1.8k

Warning: Post break up, mentions of death, sad!George, swearing

Notes: Sorry for not being active for a while. School. Anyway, this has been laying in my drafts for a while, but I figured I could just release it now. So enjoy my first George Russell fanfic!

George clutches his phone with both hands. His whole body is frozen, the small black bubble of your message still lighting up his phone. He can barely breathe, his focus shifting in and out. This isn’t possible. He blinks. No, your message is still there. Three small words.

Y/n: Grandpa is dead.

He reads it over and over again. Ignoring the fact that the last time you texted him was more than a month ago. His thumbs move without thinking. Sending the only thing he can. The only thing he wants to say.

George: I’ll be right over.

George is out of his chair, and pulling on shoes and jacket in just a few seconds. He’s never been more happy that your apartment is only a few minutes walk from his own. He runs the entire way. Less than five minutes after sending you the text, he knocks on your door. Anxiety suddenly takes hold of him. The two of you haven’t spoken in over a month. Perhaps you don't want him to come.

But he’s already knocked, and it’s too late to take it back. Behind the door he hears some soft shuffling, and the lock turning. He inhales, just as the door opens, and you come into view.

You look tired. Your eyes are red, and your face slightly puffy from crying. George takes half a second to note that you’re wearing his hoodie, before he talks.

“Hi,” Is all he manages to say. It’s like watching something crumble in slow motion, as your eyes well up with tears.

“Hi.” you sniffle. George doesn’t waste a second. With one step, he’s inside the apartment, wrapping his long arms around you and pulling you to him. He can feel you shake as the sobs echo through your body. A single tear falls from his own eyes, as he kisses the top of your head and mutters soft words.

After a few minutes, you quiet down, and push slightly away from George. You wipe your nose on your sleeve.

“Sorry.”

George just shakes his head. You don't have to say sorry. Your grandpa just died. Frank Williams might have been one of George’s biggest idols, but he was your family.

George manages to lead you to the coach, finally taking off his shoes and jacket. He knows how particular you are about removing your shoes before entering the apartment. In his socks, George shuffles around, making two cups of tea, and pulling out a pack of your favourite cookies. He’s been here so many times he knows where everything is.

The two of you sit in silence as you sip the tea. It’s hot, but clearly what you need. George can see your eyes drying, and only soft sniffles erupt from you every now and then. He takes a breath, and speaks.

“When did it happen?” you jump, as if you’ve forgotten he’s even there. George doesn’t take it personal.

“Um, I texted you as soon as mom called.” George nods. You bite your lip and look down, then continue. “I wasn’t sure you would come.”

George sighs. Deeply. He runs a hand over his face, as if he’s annoyed. Then he looks at you.

“Of course I would come, y/n. God, you know I always come when you call.” You nod, not meeting his eyes. George can see your throat move as you swallow hard, clutching your teacup. Whether it’s for warmth or comfort, he can’t tell.

“Grandpa was very upset when I told him about the- Uh, break up. He said I was stupid.” You say, finally meeting George’s eyes. Yours are soft and red and scared. His are secure and steady, but filled with something you don't recognize.

“I agree,” is all George says. You cuckle dryly, and roll your eyes a little.

“Seriously, George, we ca-”

“I’m going to another team! I’m not going to war!”

“George…” you sigh. He gets up from his chair, and sits down next to you on the couch, grasping both your hands.

“Please, y/n. I love you!” your eyes well up with tears once again.

“I love you too,” you whisper. “But I can’t do this. Not today. Please, not today.”

George swallows thickly, but nods. It feels like something is stuck in his throat, like he can’t speak. Instead, he drops both your hands, and stands up quickly. You feel cold immediately.

“More tea,” George croakes out, his voice hoarse, and then he disappeared into the kitchen. You sit for a second, before following him. Your slipper clad feet are quiet against the floor. You dont think George hears you. He’s leaning against the kitchen counter, his back to you. The kettle is boiling beside him. You see his shoulder shake. You made him cry.

“George..” you whisper. He takes a deep breath and straightens.

“I shouldn’t have come over.” he says hurriedly, before turning around and nearly bolting past you. You call his name again, following him into the hall. Tears are slipping down your face.

“I’m sorry!” you choke out. George straightens and looks at you.

“You keep saying that, y/n! And yet you broke up with me. Why?”

“I- George, can you honestly say nothing will change between us when you join Mercedes? I am just saving both of us a lot of pain by ending this now!”

“Of course things will change! But god, y/n! At least I’m willing to try.” he checks his watch. And mumbles. “I have to leave. My plane departs early tomorrow. I'm just going to assume you won't be coming to the race in Saudi Arabia.”

You shake your head, confirming his statement. George ties his scarf around his neck, and opens the door. Just before he closes it behind him, his eyes meet yours.

“Sorry for your loss.” he says, and then the door closes. As the lock clicks into place, you break. Sliding down against the wall, sobs shake your body, nearly choking you. From the kitchen you can hear the kettle wailing, the water boiling. You just can't seem to care. This feeling of utter despair and emptiness is new to you, but it feels like it’ll never leave. You just made everything worse.

————

You watch the Saudi Arabian gp from the safety of your couch, tucked under a thick blanket, wearing George’s hoodie and eating ice cream. December be damned, you needed this.

When George crashes out, you want to throw up. In that moment, you realise the unbelievable mistake you’ve made. He might be hurt, and you’re not there! You’re not there for him! On instinct, you pick up your phone, then think the better of it. He probably doesn’t want to hear from you right now. Tears slip down your face. George could have gotten seriously hurt today. And you’ve just thrown him away like nothing. You sniffle. No matter how much you regret everything you’ve done, George deserves better than you.

A few hours later, as you're half sleeping, half watching a movie, dried tears on your cheeks, a message pings into your phone. The moment you realise it’s George, you’re fully awake and sitting up.

George: I’m stopping by tomorrow evening.

No more, no less. Shakily, you reply with a little «okay», and close your eyes. Clearly George wants to talk. And you can do that. You have to do it!

————

You’re a nervous wreck. George could be here any minute. During the day, all you’ve managed to do is clean, and then clean again, and then a little tidying. It feels ridiculous. This is George!

George is supposed to be easy. Your best friend. The guy who knows all your secrets, who you’ve spent all your spare time the last three years with. You hate feeling nervous about him.

A quarter to seven, there’s a knock on the door. It’s pouring down with rain outside, as it can only do in England in December. You pull open the door quickly, not giving yourself time to overthink the situation. Outside, a dripping wet George is standing, brown hair falling into his eyes like seaweed. You inhale sharply.

“George-” He shakes his head, and mumbles for you to be quiet. All you can do is step back, and show him into the apartment. You're about to speak up again as you close the door, but George gets to it before you.

“y/n,” he says. You nod, and watch him with wide eyes. His eyes meet yours. Blue eyes piercing you. There is an intensity there that you’ve never seen in him before. He steps closer. On instinct, you take a step back, but hit the wall. George swallows.

“I had a lot of things I wanted to say,» he whispers, as he peers down at you. «I was so fucking angry! But now I don’t remember a single thing, because I just want to kiss you, so so bad,”

Without thinking, you nod. George moves slowly, caressing your face with his hand, before cupping your face. He whispers: “No going back now.”

The kiss is hard and desperate, like he’d a dying man grasping for breath. George is shifting his anger, showing you his feeling through the kiss. It’s intense. The most intense one you’ve ever shared.

After you come up for air, the kiss changes. It’s suddenly soft, and warm and exactly like you remember. You try to pour all your emotions into it. Proving how sorry you are for breaking up, how much you miss him, how much that crash scared you. George pulls slightly away, still cupping your face with both of his hands.

“That crash-” you being. George shushes you.

“It was nothing, love. I’m fine,” he whispers. A tear slips from your eyes, and you sniffle.

“But it could have been something! And all I could think about was how I had thrown away our entire relationship over something stupid. I hate myself for it.” George is shaking his head slowly, drying your tears with his thumbs.

“Shhh, love. You haven't thrown anything away. I’m still here. I’ll always be here.” He kisses you again then. You can taste the salt from your own tears, but they drown away in the incredible feeling of love George is pouring over you. You can’t help but smile.

“I missed you!” You say as you pull away. George wraps his long arms around your waist, pulling you close. You hug him back, and feel him press a kiss to the crown of your head.

“I missed you too, love. So, so much!”

—---------------

Later that week, you attend your grandfather's funeral, George at your side. He holds your hand through the whole thing, never letting go. He hugs your mum and step dad, and greets your little brother. It’s like nothing has ever happened.

You miss your grandfather, but it’s like you can feel him send you his trademark smile, telling you he’s proud. You fixed what you had broken, and you continued with your life. Just like your grandfather always did.

You accompany George to Abu Dhabi that weekend, grinning and laughing when people tell you they’re not surprised the two of you are together again.

“There wasn’t a chance in hell you two wouldn’t get back together,” Nicholas says with a grin as he greets you in the paddock.

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks for convincing me to text her,” George says with a grin. You laugh. Of course Nico had something to do with it. The Canadian grin.

“What are teammates for? Let’s enjoy this one last weekend, man.”

You watch the two men greet their team. Your team. Your family. Everyone is smiling, laughing at something George said. It feels like home. And yes, next year will be different. But you’ll manage. You always do. You’ve tried living without George, and you know now, you never want to experience that again. Ever.

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