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roosterforme · 3 months

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Always Ever Only You Part 27 | Rooster x Reader

Summary: Bradley just needs your full attention long enough for you to tell him what's bothering you, and for you to pick out a new car. He comes home from golfing completely unwilling to let you gloss things over, but the conversation veers off course once again when you share some big news.

Warnings: Swearing, smut, oral, pregnancy topics, angst, fluff

Length: 5400 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order. Always Ever Only You masterlist. Gorgeous banner by @mak-32

By the eighteenth hole, Bradley was restless. This was taking forever. He somehow forgot how meticulous Bob was when he teed off, adding probably a full hour to the golf outing. He bit his tongue and fought the urge to tell Bob to move things along so he could get back home to you. When he left hours ago, you were still sound asleep, and he was concerned that you weren't feeling well. He was also completely fed up with the way you were avoiding conversation.

He played through the last hole as quickly as he could, and when Jake and Javy suggested grabbing lunch and a beer, he made his excuses and a quick exit. "Next time. And it'll be my treat. But I need to get home."

"Angel's got you so pussy whipped," Jake drawled as if he wasn't currently driving his car around complete with a car seat for Jeremiah.

"Do you ever hear me denying it or complaining about it?" Bradley replied as he set his clubs in the back of the Bronco. "I don't think she's feeling great, and I need her to pick out a new car. I'm getting fed up with her dragging her feet. So she's picking something out today."

Jake laughed as he opened his car door. "Yeah, go try to show her who's the boss, buddy. Good luck with that."

Bradley grunted and rolled his eyes. You and he were a team, and if he had to demand that you hear him out, then he'd get his way about it. He was absolutely unwilling to return to a place where the two of you weren't communicating well. But as he drove back home, he was starting to get more annoyed. He already asked you so many times to tell him what was bothering you and what was on your mind, and each time, you'd burst into tears. He didn't even know what the hell he was doing wrong.

"Fuck," he growled as he pulled into the empty driveway, honestly kind of missing your little shit mobile since it had made you happy. Today was his mom's birthday, and he wanted you to have a good day, but if he pissed you off, then he pissed you off. He was armed with his phone browser open to two options that would just have to be good enough. He left his clubs in the car as he strolled up the walkway to the porch in his white golf pants and floral print shirt. He would just have to get you to accept the fact that a new car needed to happen.

"Sweetheart?" he called out when he opened the door. You and Tramp both came running into the living room. "Hey, we need to talk about some of this shit. Right now."

"Okay, but-"

"Please," he said firmly, holding up one hand. "Just let me say what I need to say, alright?"

You were bouncing on the balls of your bare feet with your hands clasped in front of you. "Okay," you agreed, your voice breathy and light. All he wanted to do was collect you in his arms and smother you in kisses, but he couldn't get sidetracked right now.

Bradley closed the distance to you but planted his hands on his hips. "I love you so much, but something is not working right now. And I'm not going to let us fall apart again. Ever. I want to talk it through right now, and I need you to participate. Starting with your car."

You reached out and let one hand rest on his abs as your lips parted, but he shook his head.

"No, seriously, Baby Girl. I will do anything to make you happy, but could you please, please just pick out a car? I don't like leaving you home without one." He paused to lean in and kiss your forehead briefly. "I found a brand new, red Honda Civic with all of the same features as your old one. Same transmission, sunroof, everything. And it's on a lot in Chula Vista. We could go look at it right now."

"Bradley, I don't think that's a good idea," you told him, smiling up at him. He felt his resolve fracturing, but he kept going.

"Well, something has to give here! That's the best I can come up with. Unless... you want to go with the blue one I found online which is exactly the same as the one that I totaled. Same model year and everything, but it's in Maine. If you really want it, we can fly there and drive it back. I already talked to the owner about the price."

"Bradley, I don't want that one either."

He tipped his head back in frustration as your hand caressed him through his shirt. "For the love of god, Sweetheart, I am trying my best here. And you're giving me nothing. And it's not just the car," he snapped as he met your gaze again, eyes wide looking up at him. "You yelled at me for buying the wrong coffee when I thought they just changed the label, and you fell asleep while we were mid conversation. And I hurt you when we were having sex, but you wouldn't even talk about it afterwards. I need you to tell me if I'm not doing it for you, because I don't want to keep fucking this up!"

"You're not fucking anything up," you promised quietly. "You're not, Roo."

He examined your pretty, eager face and shrugged. "Then just tell me what's going on here."

You bit your lip and closed the remaining inches between your body and his, and then you smiled up at him so brilliantly, his breath caught in his lungs. As you carefully wrapped your arms around his waist, you said, "I'm pregnant."

He was frozen in time and space, barely able to process your words as his belly swooped and his heart raced. Pregnant. You were pregnant? He swallowed hard as he let his forehead rest against yours, trying to formulate words.

"Baby Girl, are you really? Pregnant?"

"Yes," you whispered, and Bradley had you in his arms, making you squeal as he lifted you up in the air.

"You're pregnant?" he asked again, beaming at you as you wrapped your legs and arms around him.

"I'm pregnant!"

"Holy shit!" he nearly screamed as you buried your face in his neck and laughed in delight. "Holy shit! You're pregnant!"

He didn't know what to do with himself as he held you tight against him, imagining a baby in your arms. His baby. And your baby. Something the two of you had been dreaming about for so long. The one thing he'd had to make himself understand he didn't need at the cost of a happy marriage, but that he'd still yearned for.

Your happy laughter and whispered words had his feet moving toward the bedroom. "You're going to be a dad, Roo."

He set you down on the bed, covering your body with his large one, careful not to hurt you as your sweet lips met his. "I love you so much," he murmured between kisses that left him breathless. "I fucking adore you, Sweetheart."

You whimpered as he slowly let his hand drift down your body before inching your shirt up and running his knuckles gently along your belly. He kissed you hard on the lips one last him before easing his body down lower, kissing your sternum on his way to your belly button. He thought about the future as he said, "And I adore you, too."

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You ran your fingers lazily through your husband's soft curls as his big hand rested on the middle of your belly next to his cheek. He was a little sweaty and still wearing his golf clothes, but everything was just perfect. The edge of his mustache tickled your sensitive skin as he whispered, "I love you."

Everything made sense now which made you feel more settled. Honestly, this was much better than the flu that you thought you had, and you giggled. "You'll be the best Daddy, Bradley."

He looked up your body before kissing you a dozen more times all over your abdomen. Calloused fingers stroked your skin as he looked at you with those big, brown eyes you were completely addicted to. "Fuck. I'm so excited. I don't even know what to do with myself," he told you as you sat up and climbed onto his lap. "You took a pregnancy test?"

"Yes. I had one tucked in the back of the bathroom closet that I bought a few months ago," you whispered, brushing his scarred cheek with your lips and the tip of your nose.

"Where's the test?" he asked, scooping you up in his arms again as you told him it was in the bathroom. "I want to see it." You'd managed to pick it up off the floor earlier before examining it for about five minutes with tears in your eyes before you left it on the vanity. And now Bradley set you down, but he kept one arm around you as he picked it up. "Two lines means you're pregnant?" he asked, looking at you in reverence.

You nodded and whispered, "Yes," and then his eyes filled with tears. "Oh, Roo."

"Sweetheart. You're pregnant," he said so softly. "We're going to have a baby."

"Yes," you confirmed as you wiped at his tears with your thumbs while he held onto the test. "I realized when I woke up that my period was late, and then I threw up. A lot. So I took the test."

He sucked in a deep, shaky breath before he kissed your forehead. "Do you remember what today is?"

You let your cheek come to rest on his chest as you said, "Of course I do. It's your mom's birthday. I already bought everything to make filet mignon and crab cakes for dinner. But I guess we ended up with a birthday present?"

With lips pressed to your hair, he muttered, "She would have loved this. She would have loved you almost as much as I do. And she would have been a good grandma."

And now you felt more tears stinging at your eyes. It had been nine months of trying for this moment, which wasn't extravagantly long in the grand scheme of things, but it had been stressful and hard on your marriage at times. Bradley was your teammate, and he'd worked as hard as you had to make sure the two of you made it back to a good place.

"Can we go to the store?" he asked suddenly. "Buy some more pregnancy tests so I can be here when you take one? And get some ginger ale if your stomach is still upset?"

"Yeah," you said with a laugh. "If you want."

"I want," he replied immediately, taking you by the hand and leading you toward the front door. His cheeks were flushed pink, and he was all smiles as he stopped on the driveway next to the Bronco and gasped. "The Bronco, Sweetheart."

"What about it?" you asked as he slowly backed you up until your butt hit the passenger side door. Bradley caged you in with a predatory glint in his eye before kissing your forehead softly. But you felt so calm as his hand slipped underneath your shirt, his thumb rubbing soft circles on your belly.

"A Bronco is the solution. It's so clear now. We'll swing by the Ford dealer after the drug store. And then we can drive home in two separate Broncos so you can take the tests. And then we can make my mom's birthday dinner."

Your lips parted, but no words came out, and Bradley dipped his head down to kiss you. He was smiling against your lips as his arms snaked around you. "Another Bronco?" you whispered. "You think?"

"Mmhmm," he hummed as his lips skimmed your cheek. "A lot more indestructible than your old thing. I'm not going to let our baby ride around in a little compact car death trap on wheels. Let's get a second Bronco."

"It wasn't that bad," you muttered, only slightly offended as you recalled the gigantic hole that he'd put in the bottom of your car with his foot. "Are you sure you don't just want to have access to drive two Broncos instead of one?"

Bradley leaned on one forearm against the door, still stroking your belly with his thumb and keeping you calm. "We need something big enough for a car seat to fit comfortably. If you don't want a Bronco, I think you should still consider another SUV. Preferably one I can actually fit in."

You looked up at his handsome and eager face, excitement bubbling under the surface of his expression. He was clearly as excited as you were about the positive test, and he just wanted you to be happy. Hell, he'd offered to drive a car back from Maine with you barely an hour ago. Before he even knew you were pregnant. You were still having a hard time wrapping your mind around it yourself.

Tears stung your eyes, and Bradley's smile faltered a little bit. "Listen," he whispered, kissing your forehead. "Anything you want to drive, okay? Anything you want. But I think we need to look at the safety ratings and all that shit if you really want a compact car again."

"I don't want a compact car again," you hiccupped. "I was trying to tell you that earlier. We can go look at Broncos. I'm just so emotional. I can't seem to control it. But at least I know where it's coming from now."

Bradley smiled as he pulled you away from the door before opening it, and then he buckled you in. "It's coming from the little Bradshaw bun in your oven, and I couldn't be happier."

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Even the brief walk around to the driver's side door felt like too much, because Bradley didn't want to stop touching you. As soon as he could, he slipped his hand in yours once again and smiled at you before backing out of the driveway. He'd been ready for this for a long time. He knew he'd always been a step ahead of you; his desire to date you exclusively startled you at first, but he knew pretty early on that you'd be wearing his mom's ring eventually. He was ready for this day before you were, too, but he had tried his best not to rush you here. As soon as you told him you stopped taking your birth control back in November, he was ready for you to be knocked up the next day.

But now you were, and he was looking forward to all of it. The arguments had been worth it. The way he fucked things up before had been worth it, because both of you worked hard to fix things which told him you were unbeatable.

"We're going to be awesome parents," he said, making you laugh as he parked at the pharmacy. When you tried to climb out your door, Bradley tugged on your hand and whispered, "Come over here. I don't want to stop touching you. I don't want to let go of you."

You willingly crawled onto his lap and let your cheek come to rest on his shoulder. "Don't let go of me."

"I won't," he promised, stroking your belly again like he just couldn't help himself. "Hey, should we call your parents this weekend and tell them the news?"

You pulled a few inches away from him with a little pout and shook your head. "I think it's too early, Bradley."

"Oh. Right," he replied, suddenly embarrassed that he wasn't sure about all of the timelines and exactly what everything meant.

"You know," you added softly. "In case something... happens to the baby. It's still so early. There's still a good chance that something could go wrong."

Bradley's body felt like it was sent into a freefall just thinking about anything happening to either of you. He held you tighter and kissed you a little rougher than he meant to, making you moan as he shook his head. "No. Don't say that." His voice was thick with emotion as he squeezed his eyes closed. "Don't say that, Baby Girl."

"Okay," you whispered, taking his face in both of your hands and caressing him with your soft and steady fingers. "I won't say it again." You kissed his lips and his scars as you pushed your fingers gently back through his hair which was probably already a mess from golfing earlier. But the more you touched him, the better he felt, and he took a few deep breaths as you said, "But I'm already so attached right now that it's a little scary. Already attached to the baby and the idea of you being a daddy."

"I am too," he promised as he opened his eyes to see you so close to him. "I'm so ready for this."

You kissed him one more time as you whispered, "I love you." And then you led him inside as he remembered all the times he played with Jeremiah and changed his diapers and read him books. Oh shit, he was so excited to have it for himself, he scooped up at least ten pregnancy tests while you laughed and chased him up to the registers.

"Do you think that's enough?" you asked sarcastically as he leaned down to kiss the top of your head.

He picked some bottles of ginger ale out of the small refrigerator case next to the register as he said, "Listen, I missed the one from this morning, so you owe me. Just humor me, okay? I want to watch those little lines show up with my own eyes."

As he reached into his pocket for his wallet to pay for the collection of tests, he realized he was still wearing his golf clothes and shoes. In all of his excitement, he'd forgotten to change. And now he was getting excited all over again as he inserted his credit card and looked at you. Should he get you right home to take the pregnancy tests? Take you to bed and show you how attached he was, too? Visit the Ford dealer?

He groaned, knowing the Ford dealer was going to win out since he actually had your attention on the new car right now. "Here," he told you, handing you the bag as he buckled you back in again. "Drink one of the bottles so you'll have enough pee for the tests while I drive us to look at the new Broncos. Start thinking about what color you want."

"Red," you replied immediately. "It's what I had before, plus it's your favorite color."

"Fuck," Bradley practically whined, lacing his fingers with yours. "A hot, pregnant wife, a baby on the way, and two Broncos in the driveway? This might be the best day of my life so far. I don't know how much more I can handle here."

You laughed as he kissed you all over your face, resting his hand gently against your belly through your shirt. His to-do list was growing by the minute, and he was a little alarmed that his heart rate was elevated with no signs of slowing down, but every time he looked at your face he said, "I love you."

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"It's just butter, Bradley," you said as you watched him trying his best to help you cook Carole's birthday dinner. "How are you this bad at melting butter?"

He shot you a playful glare before moving to stand behind you at the stove, wrapping his arms around you so that his hands were resting on your belly. "I'll just watch the pro then."

You shook your head, still a little startled by everything that happened today. An hour at the Ford dealership and the two of you left hand in hand after paying a deposit for the red Bronco that they were going to acquire for you from a dealer in northern California. Then you came home and took ten more pregnancy tests while Bradley sat in the bathroom with you, shooting you his big, soppy brown eyes filled with tears while he smiled. They were all positive, and they were all still lined up on the vanity, and you were pretty sure he kept occasionally sneaking off to look at them.

As you turned the crab cakes over in your cast iron pan, you whispered, "I feel like your mom is watching over us somehow."

"Oh, I have no doubt," he replied immediately, holding you a little tighter and nudging your sore breasts. "Goose, too. But especially her, on her birthday. She'd have been a mess over this news."

You set the spatula down and had to close your eyes. Your hormones were all over the place, and this was the thing that sent you immediately into a fit of body wracking sobs. "What's wrong?" Bradley asked with concern, turning you around and inspecting your hands. "Did you burn yourself?"

"No," you wailed. "I'm just so happy, but it's not fair that your parents aren't here. Like I can deal with the fact that I never got to meet them, but this is so not fair! And I'm sorry, but I can't control my emotions at all."

He pulled you closer and let you cry, kissing your ear and whispering that everything was going to be okay. As you got your breathing under control, he said, "If you're this emotional at like five and a half weeks, I guess I better buckle in for the ride."

You glared up at him before he leaned down to kiss your tears away with a smile, and you let him take the brownies out of the oven and load a plate with dinner. With your hand held in his, Bradley carried the meal to the table, but he led you to the piano instead of one of the chairs.

"Remember how to play it?" he asked softly as he took a seat and patted the bench next to him. You needed a short tutorial, but he was as patient as ever as he reminded you of the notes. Then you helped him play and sing Happy Birthday to Carole even though it wasn't perfect, and at the end he whispered, "Thanks, mom. Let's go eat, Baby Girl."

You sat perched on his lap like always, mouth watering as you looked at the steak and crab cakes. Everything looked amazing, and you were starving. "How does it taste?" you asked as Bradley took three bites of dinner in rapid succession.

"Fucking incredible," he replied as you cut yourself a piece of steak. It was buttery and delicious, and it practically melted in your mouth. You moaned as you tried the crab cakes, and they were pretty good, too. About halfway through the meal your stomach lurched, and you turned to look at Bradley.

He smiled at you as you shook your head and said, "Oh no." You practically fell off of his lap as you ran for the hallway bathroom, barely making it in time to empty the contents of your stomach into the toilet. He was right behind you, rubbing your back as you sat down hard on the floor and caught your breath.

"This is a pregnancy thing, right?" he asked softly. "Morning sickness?"

You nodded. "I think so. I was going to call my doctor on Monday anyway and tell her about my positive tests, but I'll tell her about this, too."

Bradley collected you in his arms and asked, "Are you hungry?"

"Starving," you whined, letting your forehead come to rest against his sternum.

"I have an idea," he replied. A few minutes later, you were sitting on the couch with a plate of crackers smeared with peanut butter in your hand and the trash can on the floor in front of you. Bradley finished eating the plate of Carole's birthday dinner, and now he was working on cleaning up the kitchen while he dug into the tray of brownies. You gingerly bit into one of the crackers, and your stomach growled but didn't lurch. So you kept going.

It took you an hour, but you finished the whole plate as you thought about how things would change around here with a baby involved. Nothing seemed too startling though, probably because you'd been subconsciously looking forward to this for such a long time. You knew Bradley was as well. And the way he came out to check on you several times as he cleaned up the house had you swooning over your husband a little bit.

You shared the last cracker with Tramp and then stood to take your plate to the kitchen where Bradley was leaning on the island looking at his phone. "What are you doing?" you asked him.

He looked up at you and blushed a little bit. "Looking at crib bedding," he replied, and you practically tossed the plate at the sink before hurrying to his arms. "You feeling better?"

You nodded. "Crib bedding?" You were instantly melting into his touch.

"Yeah. I thought we could do airplanes?"

You whimpered against his muscular chest as he pocketed his phone. "Yes, Roo, we can do airplanes."

He rubbed your back as you tucked your hands up inside the golf shirt he had been wearing all day and let your fingers skim along his abs. "I'm just really excited about this," he said, voice full of emotion. "All the baby stuff. And a nursery. I was already thinking about finishing the attic, but now we should definitely do it so your parents can stay up there when they visit their grandchild. And we can get those convertible car seats for both Broncos. And we should probably start looking at daycares before the baby is born. Like the really good daycares, you know?"

"Oh fuck," you moaned as you looked up at him. "Bradley. You're incredible." You rubbed yourself against the fly of his white pants, and both of his eyebrows shot up.

"You want to?" he rasped, and you started pulling him toward the bedroom. "Last time we had sex, I hurt you, Sweetheart. I don't want to do that again."

"You won't," you promised as you tugged off his shirt. "You won't, because I know what's going on now."

He nodded and reached for his pants zipper as you quickly got yourself undressed and climbed into bed. Bradley watched you as he struggled with his shoes and socks before he could take his pants off, and the two of you shared a laugh. Then you bit your lip as his hard cock sprung free, practically vibrating with anticipation as he plopped down on the bed on his back.

"Come here," he whispered, but when you started to straddle his hips, he shook his head. "No. Up here." You leaned down to kiss him, and he welcomed you with a smile on his face, but after his tongue tangled with yours he broke the kiss. "I want you to sit on my face."

"Oh," you gasped as he reached for your butt and pulled you up until you were straddling his neck. Then his mouth was on you, and you were reaching for the headboard with one hand as your fingers grasped Bradley's curls with the other. He was so gentle, kissing up and down your most intimate parts before separating you with his nose. "Oh my god," you whined as he nudged your clit and looked up at you before starting to suck.

You were already pulsing around nothing, your fingernails scraping along his scalp as you rolled your hips gently against his mouth. Bradley licked you up and back before sucking gently again. The more aroused you got, the more your boobs hurt, but it wasn't as bad as last time. Not when his mouth was doing everything to make you wetter as he gently ran his hands along the backs of your thighs and your butt.

It would have come as no surprise to you if he told you that you were dripping wet now as you whispered, "I want your cock."

Bradley practically growled as he released you, his mouth glistening as he licked his lips. "Only if I'm not going to hurt you," he reiterated, voice deep and gravelly as you moved further down his body. "Stop me if I am."

You lifted his length and slipped him slowly inside you as he grunted and propped himself up on one hand. "Feels good," you promised him as you pushed and pushed until he was fully seated. His eyes were big pools as he hesitated a bit before kissing the valley between your breasts, his lips feather light. And that was exactly what you needed as he brought his other hand up to your belly.

"I love you," he whispered, letting his lips barely caress your nipple as you rocked slowly. "I love you so much, Sweetheart."

When his tongue grazed your breast, you whined for more, so he took your nipple between his lips. Instead of sucking, he let his tongue drift along lazily as you barely rocked your hips backward and forward, playing with his hair. "I love you, Daddy," you told him as you smirked.

He looked up at you as he released your breast and gently started to lick your left one as you cupped his cheek. Between kisses and soft nuzzles, Bradley poured his heart out to you as you enjoyed the feel of him, thick and delicious inside you.

"I'll take care of both of you. Always. I'm going to love you forever. I'll never stop. You're perfect. So fucking perfect. I can't get enough. I can't wait for everything."

You were barely moving on his cock when you came hard, your nipples wet to the cool air from his saliva and your fingers gripping his hair. "Bradley. Bradley. Bradley," you panted, squeezing him so tight as you pulsed around him.

He grunted, watching your face as he let himself come undone, too. He was still breathing heavily as he leaned back against the pillows, and you sank down on top of him. "I didn't hurt you?"

"Not at all," you promised. "My breasts are so tender, but that felt amazing."

"Got it," he whispered, nodding as he wrapped his arms around you. Very slowly you let your body press to his, careful to get into a position that didn't make you want to wince. "I can be extra gentle," he promised. "I can be anything you need. Anything either of you need."

A chill rippled through your body at his words, because you knew they were true. You leaned up and looked at his handsome face, cheeks flushed and lips softly parted. When you kissed him, he tasted like you. His softening cock was still inside you, but neither of you made any move to get cleaned up quite yet.

"You can't stop touching me, can you?"

"I can, Sweetheart. I just don't want to," he replied softly from where he had his face buried against your neck. "Hey, we should go to bed early since you've been so tired. Maybe the baby needs the extra sleep."

"Oh," you gasped, pulling back and examining his face. "Early." You figured you had to be between five and six weeks pregnant, but the last time you had your period, it had come early.

"What?"

Your mind was swirling as you did the math, and a smile broke out on your face.

"What?" he asked again, looking at you in puzzlement.

If your period had been early, then you were probably only still ovulating for the very first day that Bradley had been home from his special mission. You started laughing as you kissed him over and over again before rolling onto your back and cracking up.

"Tell me," he said, rolling to his side next to you as he started laughing, too.

"Oh my god, Roo," you wheezed. "I think you got me pregnant when you totaled my car."

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A BABY!! A BRADSHAW BUN IN THE OVEN! MOM AND DAD! Do you want to read more of the pregnancy adventure? I hope so. The fact that this has been planned out for the past year is just wild to me, and I'm so happy I got to share it with you. Thanks for everything @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

PART 28

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nightdiary · 1 month

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first dates with enhypen

word count: 5.4k genre: fluff, gender neutral reader, suggestive bits in jake's and hoon's but nothing too crazy imo author's note: been wanting to write more for enha so this was born... i am down bad for all of them i fear ): also it was almost too easy to get carried away in some spots but i didn't! i'm thinking of making more specific and individual bf posts for each of the members... saving my juicier ideas for then 🤍 as always, feedback is appreciated greatly<3!!!

✧ heeseung - tinder date

you have a routine with all of your tinder dates. after three months on the app, you’d learned how to cycle through the guys quick enough so as not to waste a minute on someone who you didn’t see fitting into your life.

there are three stages to the cycle: one, they had to pass the initial profile check. simple enough, and yet most failed right at the beginning. half-naked photo holding a fish? swipe left. in a douche-baggy frat you’d never heard of? swipe left. 27, not sure what he’s looking for, and republican? hard swipe left.

the second and third stages took the longest, but that’s when the disappointment came in. after a few days of texting, the inevitable message about meeting in person would come. if the guy seemed normal enough, you’d agree, and finally meet. you’d build up the moment in your head and pick out a cute outfit and dance excitedly in your room beforehand, going through the possible conversation starters you could use if it got awkward.

you’d sit through a date with them and wait to be asked questions, wait for them to express some sort of interest in you as a person, but it would never come. instead, you would sit and listen to them harp about themselves for hours. every time, without fail, it was almost as if they didn’t care enough that you were there.

then, they’d presumptuously ask if you wanted to come home with them and, well, your decision couldn’t be clearer.

as much as you hated generalizing, the men from your tinder dates were proving to be pretty shit. they looked good on paper, but when it came down to dating you, they fucking sucked. and you were beginning to lose hope.

you’d sworn that you would take on one last date before deleting the forsaken app. lee heeseung is everything you’re looking for in a man, and you think it’s a wonder he matched with you instantly. the texts you exchange pass your perception of normal, and before you know it, he’s proposing you meet up at a japanese restaurant downtown.

you find yourself sitting across from a man you think god sent as an apology for all of the other 4 billion and some men.

“you are suspiciously perfect,” you frown, squinting at your date across the table. “like it’s weirding me out. what is wrong with you, lee heeseung?”

“quite a lot actually,” he jokes, “but my mom says i’m a good boy. i’d trust her, if i were you.”

snorting, you reach to snatch the last dumpling with your chopsticks. heeseung’s grab the dumpling before yours do, but he’s quick to place it onto your plate and tell you he’ll order more. as he politely calls the waitress over and thanks her when she brings over a new plate of dumplings, you can’t help but think you’re fucked. either your standards are low, or heeseung is just one remarkable man.

but as the afternoon progresses, you begin to lean towards the latter. heeseung takes a genuine interest in your hobbies and work, asking you thought-provoking and personal questions that don’t toe the line of being intrusive and passive-aggressive. you realize that this is the first date you’ve been on where you’ve talked so much, and it feels so weird to not spend the entirety of your date looking forward to going home.

“i think i’ve found out what’s wrong with you,” you tell him once both of you are standing outside of the restaurant. heeseung had paid for the bill no questions asked, and when you’d gotten up to shrug your coat on, you realized with a start that the sky outside was pitch black.

as heeseung hums unassumingly and fixes you with a questioning look, you grin and say, “you hate mint chocolate. you’re a walking red flag, lee heeseung.”

your date bursts out into laughter and shakes his head. the wide smile stays on his face as he offers his arm to you, bringing you close to his side when you take it. “fine, you’ve got me there. can i at least walk you to your bus stop before you block me?”

you pretend to think about it, tapping your chin with your forefinger, before sighing and agreeing with a matching smile. your walk to the stop takes you through a busy central street that’s alive in the early evening, and you can’t help but press yourself closer to heeseung. he steers the two of you through the crowds with relative ease, and you somehow manage not to bump into anyone for the entirety of the walk, all thanks to him.

as you sit on the bench together and wait for your bus to show up, you use the cold as an excuse to huddle up to heeseung’s side. he laughs again, a lilting noise that tugs at your heartstrings, and you quickly realize you’ve gotten yourself in far too deep from the first date.

you have to move off his shoulder when he begins taking his jacket off. confused, you watch as he drapes the material over your back and urges you to slip your arms in through the sleeves so he can zip it up. you notice your bus rolling up to the curb and panic, turning to heeseung with a frown.

“don’t worry about it,” he reassures you. kissing your cheek sweetly, he helps you get up and walks you toward the bus door. “you have to walk home from the bus, i don’t want you getting cold. just give it to me on our next date, yeah?”

stunned, you nod shyly and step into the bus. as you scan your card and take a seat next to the window, you peer outside and grin when you find heeseung waiting to wave goodbye. he’s a bit blurry because the glass has fogged up from the heat, but you can make out the way his face softens when you trace a heart into the window.

with the promise of a second date and heeseung’s cozy coat on your shoulders, you begin making your way home, feeling oddly warm and thrilled beyond belief.

maybe tinder had finally worked out in your favor. you’d make sure to leave a 5 star review when you got home.

✧ jay - rollerskating rink

for what it’s worth, you weren’t the one that chose the location for your first date.

you’d left the decision up to jay, who, in all of his dependable glory, seemed to have chosen the worst possible location– at least for him.

“jay?” you call to the panting boy behind you. “are you sure you’re okay? we can always go sit down for a bit and come back later.”

your date shakes his head adamantly and pushes himself forward using the railing, scrunching his eyes shut like he’s anticipating another fall. he looks awfully adorable in the hot pink skates that the rink had lent him, even if he’s faring worse than a newborn deer with them on. the juxtaposition of his carefully crafted and sophisticated outfit with the cartoonish design of the skates is oddly endearing to you.

“wow, i really thought this looked harder than it actually was,” jay pauses by the railing, leaning down to rub at his ankle with a pained expression. “these skates are beating my ass.”

“why’d you choose this place if you’ve never been rollerskating before?” you can’t help but ask.

“okay, don’t laugh,” jay warns, avoiding your curious eyes. his cheeks are all red as he continues to massage his ankle, and you doubt it’s entirely because he’s exhausted from skating. “your best friend told me you like to come here a lot, but that you never have someone to go with. figured i’d be that person for you, even if i suck a lot.”

the thought of jay willingly sacrificing his comfort and the wellbeing of his ankles for you makes you feel warm all over. you help him stand up and regain his balance without relying on the rail, leaning up to press a soft kiss to his cheek as encouragement. poor unsuspecting jay crumbles down immediately after, clutching onto the rail for support. you can’t help but laugh, though it isn’t unkind.

“just know i appreciate all of your sacrifices,” you tell him. offering your hand, you pull him up and continue to hold on to him as you lightly push backwards with your skates. “we can go slow, i’ll teach you some basic moves to get you moving around on your own.”

jay gulps but nods nonetheless, staggering forward after you. it’s relatively easy to keep him upright when you’re going at such a slow pace, his soft hands encased between the firm fingers of your own. you throw a look over your shoulder every now and then to make sure you don’t run into anyone, but the rink’s empty enough at this hour that you have enough space to move about freely with jay attached to you.

“bend your knees a little– yeah, that’s good, now glide forward one foot at a time, lean into your strides a bit,” you instruct, gaze focused on your date’s wobbly legs. the tight fitting jeans he’d worn are admittedly hot, but you feel a bit guilty thinking about jay’s thighs while he’s trying not to break the bones in them.

as soon as jay gets the basic motions down, you switch to skating side by side with him, your linked hands suspended between the two of you. he’s still slow and careful with his movements, but you can tell he’s fallen into a rhythm that works for him. you don’t mind having to inch your way across the rink with him. if anything, it’s nice having him by your side.

“i think this was just a big ploy to get me to hold your hand,” you tease.

jay flushes and, very tellingly, doesn’t say a word.

snickering, you begin to swing your hands between your bodies. jay’s hand is big and warm, and you don’t want to let go soon. “you should know i would’ve held your hand anyway. next time, let’s hold hands at a place that won’t break your tailbone.”

✧ jake - bowling

“you know what they say about men and bowling?”

“no, jake,” you deadpan. you knew exactly where this was going, and yet you still decide to give jake the satisfaction. something about being a good date, even if jake has always been a friend you’d teased first and foremost. “what do they say?”

“they’re either good in bed or at bowling,” jake steps back from the lane and looks over his shoulder to wink at you. his arm swings back an exaggerated amount as he walks toward the foul line, sending the ball rolling onto the wood with zero coordination. it immediately goes towards the gutter. “these are mutually exclusive, scientifically proven.”

but in all of jake’s infinite luck, the ball veers towards the middle at the very last minute, hitting the front-most pin and knocking down the rest in succession. above you, the screen plays a cute animation of bowling pins running away from the ball, only to be smothered with a large neon text spelling out STRIKE! in bold letters.

“oh this is so bad for you,” you bite back the urge to laugh. jake’s mortified face turns towards you and you almost lose it at the sight of his heartbroken expression. “you’ve got another turn, by the way. let’s see if you can get a double, babe.”

jake’s next ball ends up in the gutter and he cheers loudly, earning him very confused looks from the kids in the lane next to you. one of them offers their dinosaur bowling ramp to help jake out, but he kindly turns them down and tells them he’s trying to let you win.

unfortunately for the both of you, you don’t hold up too great score-wise either. even with your one lucky spare and otherwise average abilities, jake ends up winning by 20 whole points, a feat he doesn’t seem too keen on celebrating. the light in your lane turns off after the round is over, and jake proposes you two get some well-deserved food.

“do you think this is a lame date?” he asks you once you’ve sat down at one of the plastic benches. you instantly frown at the question and reach out to spear a handful of fries with your fragile plastic fork.

“don’t worry, i think it’s sexy when men are good at sports,” you reassure him, “also it’s cute that you wanted to let me win. and that you bought me loaded fries with extra cheese. it’s super romantic.”

jake snorts, but you notice how his shoulders visibly relax at your words. navigating your friendship-turned-something-bigger was harder than you’d anticipated it would be, and acknowledging your reciprocated feelings was proving to be the easiest part.

you knew that jake was equally on edge about fucking this whole thing up. there was a lot more at stake here than with someone you hadn’t known for years prior. you were afraid of diving headfirst into something that could potentially rip away an important part of you, afraid that one wrong move would send jake tumbling out of your life. you had cherished him long before you had realized you loved him differently.

but as you watch jake chew through a forkful of fries, you realize that there’s nothing complicated about this. things have always been simple with him, and they’ll continue to be no matter if you’re dating or not.

“cmon, next round is on me,” you stand up and wipe the last of the cheese from your mouth. “if you can beat me again, i’ll consider letting you prove that silly bowling theory wrong to me.”

the speed at which jake gets up is dizzying. he’s at the counter paying before you can even catch up to him, sliding a few bills over to the employee and turning to you with a playful grin. “we’re at lane 7, babe. go get warmed up.”

✧ sunghoon - laser tag

your heart is racing so fast you can feel it in your head. clutching the plastic gun to your chest, you press yourself closer to the wall and still your breathing. the red light on your heavy vest has stopped blinking, meaning you’d recovered from the last hit, but you know you can’t risk running just yet.

the undeniable sound of footsteps creeping closer makes you inch toward the corner of the wall, where you know sunghoon is waiting for you. you bite your lip and tense your finger on the trigger, peering over the bricks that are obscuring your vision.

surely enough, even in the darkness of the laser tag arena, you can make out sunghoon’s determined face. he’s crouched down behind a beat-up car, wearily scanning the area. most likely looking for you, but you don’t want to give him the satisfaction just yet.

the blue on his vest has dimmed down– you’d hit him several times earlier and knew this was probably one of his last lives left. your own indicator showed that your lives were also running low, and based on how exhausted you felt, you knew you couldn’t have much time left from the round. you had to move in soon, or risk tying with sunghoon.

in your case, you thought that would be worse than losing.

taking a deep breath, you lift your gun and peer around the corner one more time, and in the split second it takes for sunghoon to notice you, you manage to send a shot straight at his vest. but the light on his vest doesn’t budge, and as you realize you had horribly misaimed, your date takes the opportunity to aim at you properly.

your vest makes a video game-like noise of defeat and you feel your gun power down. you know you have to hide for the next minute to let it recharge, but as you spin around and try to figure out where to run toward, you notice sunghoon already closing in.

“such a shame,” he drawls, holding up his gun with a smirk. you frown, backing up until you feel your shoulders hit a concrete wall. sunghoon’s voice is quiet enough not to draw attention from your teammates, but it sends shivers down your spine nonetheless. “thought you’d finally beat me this round. what happened, babe?”

“i still have one more life left, don’t get all cocky.” you mumble, shaking your gun frustratedly. the minute needed to pass by quicker.

looking over his shoulder, you realize with a frown that you’re in quite possibly the most secluded part of the arena. there’s no hope calling out for help or trying to make a run for it.

sunghoon squints down at your indicator and moves in even closer. you feel your breath quicken when the front of his vest hits yours, and you’re left caged in to stare up defiantly at him. he’s grinning at you like he’s already won.

“i’m not going to let you win,” you lean in toward him and whisper. sunghoon’s eyes flit toward your lips, and you try not to think about throwing your chances out the window and kissing him.

“you don’t have anywhere to run,” he places a hand next to your head on the wall, and to really drive the point home, you feel him press the muzzle of his gun against your side, where you know your sensor is. you’re pretty certain he can hear how fast your heart’s beating, and it makes you flush red from embarrassment. “you ready to admit defeat yet? or are you going to keep being stubborn?”

there’s no reason you should feel this lightheaded, but sunghoon’s so, so close to you that you can’t think properly. he’s practically pressed up against you, warm and solid and he’s barely a few centimeters away, and if you lean in just a bit more, you’ll be able to kiss him.

so that’s what you do.

“sure,” you say simply, and lean up to softly brush your lips against his. you grab at his neck with your free hand, bringing him flush against you so that you can fully slot your mouth with his. he’s surprised– you can tell from the way his gun clatters loudly to the floor next to you, and you try not to smile into the kiss.

seconds later, you distantly hear your gun make a familiar rebooting sound. you hold sunghoon firmly against you as you blindly aim your gun toward the sensor on his side, and with one last peck to the side of his mouth, you pull the trigger.

sunghoon’s vest goes dark. you don’t think he registers this, though, because he stares at you wide-eyed and adorably confused as you pull back from the kiss.

“i win,” you tease, and your date blinks down at his indicator.

“you win,” sunghoon affirms quietly. conveniently, the overhead lights turn on as the round draws to a close, and you can’t help but notice the way he’s reddened all over.

“victory kiss?”

✧ sunoo - picnic

ten minutes into your date with sunoo, you make the most devastating observation ever: sunoo has freckles.

they’re visible for only seconds at time, when the sun hits his face at just the right angle, but it still makes your breath catch in your throat every time you see them. they’re littered across his face like miniature stars, dipping across his cheeks in multitudes and scattering off toward his temples and brow bones.

your hands itch to reach out and trace them.

“–and then once we finally got to the place, it turned out to be super cute and they had some of the best lemonade i’ve ever had.” sunoo’s voice slowly trickles back into your ears, and you blink the world into focus once again.

you find your date looking at you with crinkled eyes, studying your features with amusement. almost like he knows exactly what’s been going through your mind.

“sorry,” you laugh sheepishly, reaching out to grab another chocolate-covered strawberry. sunoo had made them himself for the occasion, that much he’d eagerly disclosed within the first few minutes of the date, and you had found it too endearing for your poor heart. “i got distracted. what was this place called again?”

"auntie lim’s diner,” he answers slowly, smirking when you nod off-handedly. “hey, what’s on your mind?”

“lemonade,” you respond just a bit too quickly, face blanching when sunoo’s grin grows impossibly wider. whining and covering yourself with your hands, you try not to focus on the way his melodic laughter rings out like bells.

“lemonade, huh?” sunoo’s teasing is light-hearted, but that doesn’t stop your heart from leaping up into your throat. “was there some on my face? because you’ve been staring an awful lot for the past few minutes.”

groaning, you duck your head and try to focus on finishing your strawberry. you can feel the heat rise from your cheeks to your ears though, and are certain sunoo’s made note of this when he giggles and leans forward to get a better look at you.

“you’ve got freckles,” you mumble, picking at the leaves of the strawberry. when sunoo doesn’t respond for a while, you look up and bravely gesture toward his cheeks, pointing at where you’d seen the aforementioned spots with a shaky finger. “and like– it’s super cute. you’re super cute. but it caught me off-guard so, like. yeah. sorry for staring.”

sunoo hums. you can feel his eyes roving through your face, but you immediately look away once they finally meet yours. then, you feel something warm encasing your hand, and nearly jerk in surprise when your fingers come to brush against the soft skin of sunoo’s face moments later.

“don’t apologize,” he mumbles, leading your hand down the side of his cheek, where you’d pointed just seconds ago. “i’m really flattered you noticed. and you don’t have to be shy about stuff like this, i’d honestly be a bit worried if we were on a date and you didn’t find me attractive.”

reveling at the supple skin beneath your fingertips, you feel the weight ease off of your chest almost instantly. despite having known each other for a limited amount of time, sunoo’s come to be quick at recognizing when you feel out of place or uncomfortable, and he’s become too good at easing you back into safe waters. he’s too good to you.

“don’t get ahead of yourself,” you tease back instead, unable to handle the growing wave of emotions in you. “i only said your freckles were cute.”

sunoo looks up at you through his lashes, and your hand freezes where it’s fallen by his chin. flitting your eyes downwards, you watch his rosy lips part, almost like they want to voice your hidden intentions. gulping, you subconsciously feel yourself draw in closer, until you can feel his breath wash out against your cheeks like water on shore.

your heartbeat’s in your ears and sunoo’s pretty mouth is right there. glancing back up at his eyes, you notice that he’s also looking down at your lips, tracing the minuscule movement of your tongue peeking out to wet them.

he’s so close. you can almost just lean in a bit and–

“yeah? so then my second date invitation to auntie lim’s diner has been rejected?”

pausing, your eyes widen as you stare back at sunoo in bewilderment. he’s grinning at you slyly, the edges of his eyes crinkling with laughter as his whole body shakes with amusement. you can’t help the string of giggles that bubble out of you almost like second nature. it’s nice, you think, having someone like sunoo to laugh with.

“i mean, i guess i’ll have to try this lemonade you speak so highly of."

✧ jungwon - boba place

in retrospect, choosing a first date location for you and a total stranger was easier than you thought it would be. yang jungwon, as your best friend had briefly introduced him to you, seemed simple enough to enjoy normal things. you already had a place in mind before your friend showed you his photos, but you really couldn’t help it once you laid eyes on him.

“has anyone told you your eyes look like tapioca pearls?”

jungwon’s cat-like features curl in amusement and he pops his lips off of the boba straw. he chews through his last gulp, wiping at the droplet of milk tea that had trickled out onto his bottom lip. you follow the movement with your eyes, coughing when you absentmindedly swallow a pearl without chewing it fully.

“no, but should i take that as a compliment?” jungwon asks, passing you a napkin.

you take it and wipe at your own mouth, cheeks growing red out of embarrassment. “yeah. but now that i think about it, it does sound kind of weird. i don’t want to eat your eyes, i promise.”

jungwon laughs, mouth pulling into an endearingly wide grin. okay, your friend had definitely undersold him. jungwon was cute as fuck.

“why’d you choose a boba place, anyway?” he continues, fiddling with the cup in his hold. he’d finished his drink surprisingly fast, and you have half a mind to offer him some of your own. “not that i don’t like it. great choice, honestly. but why?”

you shrug. “the atmosphere is nice. and if you’re going to go on a date with someone you don’t know that much, might as well go somewhere you can talk. it would be pretty awkward to watch a movie with a stranger, don’t you think?”

jungwon nods seriously, hair bouncing along with his movements. “your friend was right about you being smart.”

“yeah?” now that you thought about it, you hadn’t considered how your best friend had sold you to jungwon. given that he’d agreed, you figured it must’ve been pretty alright. that, and the fact that it was your beloved best friend in question, you had no doubt you were probably oversold, if anything.

still, there was a nagging curiosity in your head that you couldn’t ignore. “what else was my friend right about?”

“that you’re easy to talk to, and that i’d feel comfortable around you,” jungwon muses, glancing down as he traces the rim of his plastic cup. he seems to be mulling over his next words carefully, lips twisted into a cute pout. “they also said that you were pretty. the photos they showed me really were great, but you’re even better in person. not that looks are the most important thing but, y’know. you’re a package deal, basically.”

you feel the way your ears burn red from his words, and you stutter your way through a shocked thank you. jungwon grins knowingly, but doesn’t comment on it further. instead, he asks you if you want to share one of the cake slices in the display window that you were eyeing earlier. you try not to look too eager as you nod, choosing to ignore jungwon’s mumble of cute as he walks away. for your well-being, of course.

jungwon returns with a slice of red velvet and two forks in hand. he waits for you to take the first bite before sinking his own fork into the cake. “your turn. what’d your friend tell you about me?”

you know you have to word your answer carefully, or else you worry you’ll come off as a weirdo. jungwon’s too good to chase off just yet, and you haven’t had this much luck with a date in a long while. or ever, you think.

“my friend told me that the most important things about you were that you’re a psychology major and that you look like that one campus cat,” you trail off, unsure, “charles? was that his name?”

jungwon barely manages to set his fork down before he’s bursting into laughter. you would think you’d said something wrong but his entire face is crinkled with amuse and you can’t help but join in on the giggling, ignoring the glaring teenagers from the table over.

“charlie, yes, of course i know him,” jungwon manages to squeeze in between giggles, “oh my god, i didn’t know people outside of my friend group knew about this joke."

“so you’re the cat that’s always hanging around the quad,” you say, dead-serious, and jungwon meows cutely as if to agree with you.

“okay, so,” he puts his hand up and begins listing off on his fingers, “i look like a boba ball, the infamous cat on our campus, and what else?”

“my next boyfriend,” you say before you can stop yourself, and you slap a hand over your mouth in surprise as your cheeks color in embarrassment.

jungwon grins. “that can be arranged.”

✧ niki - arcade

“okay, now i’m actually convinced you’re cheating,” niki whines loudly, letting go of the controller and slumping back in his seat with a pout.

the game you’ve been going at for the past half hour– a car racing game set in an alternate reality– dramatically replays the moment your character crossed the finish line and won. the stark contrast of the accompanying confetti on the screen next to niki’s misery makes you giggle, and you reach out to slip the tickets that the machine spits out into your backpack.

“will you feel better if i get you something with these?” shaking a strand of tickets enticingly, you watch as your date immediately sits up and abandons his sulking to nod at you eagerly.

the teenager working the prize desk looks at the two of you with such a deadpan expression you nearly mistake him for a robot. gathering your pile of tickets onto the counter, you look up at the various different stuffed animals and boxes on display, frowning once you notice the ticket prices taped onto them, denoted with far too many zeroes for your liking. almost like inflation’s gotten to the arcades as well.

“see anything you like?” you turn to niki, brushing your shoulder against his.

you watch him survey the different rows, expression growing grim once he comes to the same exact realization as you.

“um,” it’s almost comical how you can hear the frown in his voice. “actually nevermind, these prizes are crazy. holy shit, three thousand tickets for a snorlax plushie?”

“right!” you nod, ducking your head and stifling your laughter when the employee sighs out loudly.

with your meager six hundred and thirty-seven tickets, you and niki manage to get a handful of smaller, yet arguably better things: a sticky frog, two chinese finger traps, a whistle that sounds like duck quacks, and three boxes of different pocky flavors.

“i had no idea that coconut pocky existed,” you mumble in awe, reaching into the packet to draw out another stick. you observe it under the fading sunlight, popping it into your mouth with a happy hum.

after you and niki had spent your fortune of tickets, you’d decided to take your business elsewhere (or, alternatively: leave before the employee ended up kicking you out). you found yourselves on a bench right outside of said establishment, going through each of the prizes that you’d tucked away into your backpack.

“me neither, but i really like ‘em. here, have some of the mango ones,” niki holds out a second box towards you, and you eagerly reach in to pull out some of the sticks.

the sun’s begun to descend down the horizon, and you realize with a start that you’d managed to spend the entire day in the arcade with niki. the date seems to be drawing to an inevitable end, much to your disappointment, but you can’t help and savor the warm feeling that the day has left you with.

“it’s getting dark,” niki seems to read your thoughts. you hear shuffling and turn to see him stand up and collect his belongings, reaching out to offer his hand to you once he’s done. “i should walk you to your bus stop.”

staring up at him, you blurt, “do you want to go get a proper dinner instead?”

the words rush out of you before you can think, but no matter your shyness, you’re glad you’ve said them. niki’s surprised expression quickly morphs into something gentler, and he nods almost like he’s relieved. “oh thank god, i didn’t want to go home yet either.”

laughing, you take his hand and stand up from the bench you’d been sharing for the past hour. but even after he helps you up, niki doesn’t let go of your hand, instead threading his fingers through yours to hold you more comfortably.

you don’t say anything, but when niki looks over at you to make sure it’s okay, you smile at him brightly.

“so– fried chicken?”

536 notes · View notes

makkir0ll · 10 days

Text

he's kind of starting to regret his descision.

to be honest he isn't sure how he ended up here on top of the comfy rug in your living room. his chest is down on the ground and his arms on the side while he head is resting on the side.

these past two weeks have been gruesome for him, he had been working longer hours than normal and barely getting enough sleep. his whole body felt sore and tense. today he came back home a bit earlier and immediately wraps his arms around you as he complains about how much his body aches. you then begin to massage his shoulder. and you can tell how tense he is.

"holy shit babe that feels so good" he leans into your touch the more you work his muscles. you giggle and give him a kiss on the cheek.

"where else does it hurt?" you ask him as you continue to pepper small kisses on his face and he starts to melt. you hear him mumble that his back has been hurting and you offer to crack it. and maybe in the moment it seemed like a good idea but maybe that was because of the fact that you were spoiling him with kisses.

and thats how he ends up here on the floor with your hands feeling his back to find the tense spots to crack. and he loves you, he really does but he can't help but be scared.

"you know what you're doing right?" he asks, you can hear the crack in his voice because he's nervous.

"yea yea, trust me babe. after this you're going to be thanking me"

"when was the last time you did this?"

as a joke you take a second too long for his personal liking to reply.

"y/n you know i love you right. but so help me god if you break my back, you're paying to hospital bills." he whines. the more time you take the more nervous he gets.

"yea just calm down." you say as you push the heel of your hand into his back feeling the spot. "okay ready..?"

you push your hand a little deeper than it was before and his back cracks and he lets out a groan of relief. the tension in that spot completely. you move your hands down his back finding more spots to crack and you continue your motions down his whole back. after each crack he feels his muscles relax way more.

"okay all done" you say as you move out of his way so he can get up.

"babe..." he starts off, hands coming around your hips to pull you closer, "you are a miracle worker."

"i've been told that a couple of times before" you smile at him, putting your arms around his waist a you look up at him. "now how about i crack your neck?"

"i love you, but i think i've had enough cracking for one day." he's more nervous about you breaking his neck. but he's definitely going to be asking you more often to crack his back.

ATSUMU (he's complaining the whole time and begging you to not ruin his career), tsukishima, iwaizumi 27 atheltic trainer!!!!, kuroo, SUNA, kita, hinata, oikawa, COACH MF UKAI

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fangirl-dot-com · 1 month

Text

Chapter 27 - Block Out the Haters

Hello beautiful people! How I've missed writing and uploading! I'm so sorry for the delay but this chapter and Across Every Universe part 2 had been in creation for a while. But expect a few updates this weekend!

I love you all and thank you for being so appreciating and patient!

Your body felt as though it was on autopilot as you walked through the paddock on Sunday morning. The weekend was kind to you. You completely dominated all the free practices and you’d be starting the race today on pole.

However, it wasn’t the weekend that was unkind.

It was them.

And it was all because of him.

Checo had decided to show up to the paddock at his former home race on Thursday. And like all “good” journalists do, they ask questions that bate people to speak words that can be turned into something they’re not.

Yet, the Mexican had spoken out with his chest puffed out and words full of confidence.

“I see my replacement has done well in the car. Too bad that she’ll be replaced soon enough. Like she did to me, someone will take her seat and brag about how great they are, leaving the old driver in the dust. It’s only a matter of time.”

Ah yes, only a matter of time until Red Bull drops you. The team that you had complete confidence in was not a ticking time bomb in your mind.

What if you didn’t convert pole into a win?

What if you accidentally took Max and yourself out of the race like Charles did to Checo in 2023?

What if the team can finally see how replaceable you were?

It had happened before…at Prema.

Number 1 driver to ending a contract early.

But this time, you were even further down the totem pole than you were at Prema.

You were a rookie and the second driver.

Replaceable and forgettable.

Your headphones were on and blasting music to cover up the nasty words thrown at you from the so-called fans. You had thankfully walked in with Max and Charles, who took the liberty to walk on either side of you. You were slouching as you walked, trying to make yourself smaller between the two men.

At least you understood that Charles and Max knew how you were feeling. Charles, who had been booed at this very race last year. And Max, who seemed to carry boos wherever he walked.

Your eyes widened at the sight of the large crown surrounding the opening to the garage. Checo was in the middle, smiling widely with sunglasses on his face. You froze, not walking any further. The navy and red clad drivers walked a bit before realizing that you weren’t between them anymore.

Max’s eyes flitted toward the garage and then toward a signature blue. He put his hand on your shoulder and lightly pulled one of the headphone cushions away from your ear.

His head jerked in the direction of the blue garage. “Why don’t you go hide in Williams for now. I’ll text you when it’s clear. Christian won’t let them get to you.”

You silently nodded as Max put the headphones back in place before heading in the direction of the safe garage.

Charles crossed his arms as he watched you walk away.

“Merde, I wish Arthur was here this weekend.”

The Monegasque sighed in relief once he saw Logan sling an arm around your shoulders and lead you away toward the back. Alex was following them, parading his limited edition Oscar Piastri paddle.

Max was silent as he gazed at the amount of journalists in front of the garage. He was internally cringing, knowing that the journalist would attack him as well.

Charles threw a smile in his direction as he bumped the sullen Dutchman.

“Do you need to hide in my garage as well? Be babysat Mr. Verstappen?”

The Ferrari driver wiggled his eyebrows as Max rolled his eyes. However, he shrugged and looked straight into Charles’s green eyes.

“Lead the way Mr. Leclerc.”

Charles’s eyes widened for only a moment before grabbing the backpack attached to Max. The brunette gently led the blond away, knowing that his childhood rival didn’t like crowds any more than you did.

You had found yourself hidden away in Logan’s room, on a facetime with your boyfriend. Logan was sitting next to you, trying to reach a new high score on whatever game he was playing. Oscar had somehow also found himself in the American’s room and was currently looking at Alex’s paddle.

The Aussie scoffed as he twirled the offending thing. He was silently listening to you borderline cry to Arthur.

“And then they threw a water bottle at me. And it was one of the metal ones too!” you cried out, hand rubbing your face.

Arthur offered you a sad frown.

“What did you do?”

You sucked in a breath.

“I caught it and I kept it.”

The three men suddenly laughed at your confession. You looked around confused.

“What? It was a nice one!”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Nicer than the one I gave to my brother to give to you.”

Your eyebrow cocked. “Um no, not Kevin.”

Logan’s eyes glanced at you as he muttered, “You named your water bottle?”

You shoved him, making him lose his spot. “You don’t?”

Oscar suddenly piped up. “That’s a bit childish, don’t you think. And how cliche is it to fall in love with your teammate.”

That earned him an eyeroll as you threw one of Logan’s pillows at him. He caught it easily.

“Sorry Os-cah, at least I can act on it. We all can’t secretly be in love with our teammates.”

A screech erupted from the Aussie’s side of the room. You and Logan giggled as Oscar’s face bloomed red with a deep blush. The pillow came back flying.

“I am not in love with Lando. And plus, I have a girlfriend.”

“Sure. Didn’t stop you from almost kissing Arthur that one time.”

The brunet rolled his eyes. “Number 1, it was through glass. Number 2, he leaned in first.”

“Excuse me?” you asked into your phone, looking at Arthur through the screen. Said boyfriend stuttered a bit as he tried to come up with an excuse. He only stopped as you spoke again.

“It’s ok Osc, he has some nice lips.”

A groan left Logan’s lips as he listened to this conversation. He leaned over and snatched the phone from your hands.

“Hey!”

“Sorry, poor connection. Call back later.”

The American pressed the red X as you looked at him in disbelief. Logan quickly deposited your phone back to your lap before picking up his own phone.

Your mouth was still wide open.

You were about to reply when there was a knock on the door. Logan huffed as he stood from the couch and walked toward the door. When he opened it, he was met with Christian Horner and a very pouty Max Verstappen. You sheepishly grinned as Christian just silently pointed over his shoulder and turned around, walking away.

Max stayed at the door, waiting for you as you packed your stuff. You quickly said goodbye to the best friends before following Max back to the Red Bull garage. You noticed his pout on the way.

“What’s got you so pouty.”

“I was about to beat Charles at FIFA and then Christian scared me, causing me to misplay and not score.”

“So Charles won?”

A huff from the Dutchman let you know that you were correct.

Thankfully the crowd had died down when you returned. But, to your chagrin, Checo was still there, looking down into your car. Mitch seemed uncomfortable as she stood near, needing to get the last bit of data before talking to you about the strategy.

You watched as she lightly nudged the Mexican, but was not met with any movement. Your anger rose as he blatantly didn’t move at all. You loudly cleared your throat, making most of the men turn their heads toward your direction, Checo included.

“I think my strategist needs to be by my car. You wouldn’t mind moving far back to give her some space?” you questioned loudly.

Perez seemed to get a bit of the message and took multiple steps back. Your jaw clenched as he smirked at you. At that moment, you knew he had done that on purpose.

You only walked past him, going to your room to get changed. When you walked back out, there was a small interview going on, once again with Checo and now Max.

The interviewer asked, “So Max, how does it feel to have your old teammate here to watch you win?”

You could tell that Max wanted to wince at the question, but he let it be.

Max replied, “Uh, it is nice to see Sergio back in the paddock. It is Mexico after all. But, Y/n is looking very strong and she won Monza from pole. So the team is just going to let us race and I’ll just try to keep up with her.”

The laugh that the Dutchman let out was obviously forced, but you were thankful for the backing from Max.

You watched as Checo obnoxiously laughed as he put his hands on Max’s shoulders, shaking the driver just a bit. Max’s shoulders tensed under the hard grip of the ex-driver’s hands. He was thankful that Perez wasn’t doing that to you, or you might have had a bit of PTSD because of it.

The Mexican began to speak, “Ah Max, always so modest. I bet that he’ll overtake her on the first corner. She might pull a me from last year. Eat some Ferrari tyre and DNF on the first lap. And before you know it, the team is going to drop her. I bet Max would like that. Maybe Daniel will get his rightful seat back.”

Max jerked away from the hands that gripped his shoulders before speaking, “Y/n happens to be a very safe driver. There might be a bit of fighting between us on the track but that’s just racing. And the seat was never Daniel’s to begin with. It was always her’s. Too bad you couldn’t keep up to keep the seat.”

If you could see Max’s eyes, you knew that they would be stormy and cold.

Your eyes wanted to water from the soft words that Max was speaking. He was really defending you to the best of his ability. Your eyes found Christian at the other side and your feet quickly took you toward the father-figure. Yet, you heard a closing statement from Perez that set your nerves ablaze.

“She won’t get the win. She was lucky in Monza, but that’s all it was. Max DNF-ed, giving her the win. This race will truly show you how talented she truly is.”

Your shoulders deflated as you tapped Christian’s shoulder, nodding over at the journalist. Christian’s eyes widened as he stalked toward the trio. He had anger in his eyes.

“I told you, no more journalists or interviews in the garage. The race is about to start,” the Briton stated, voice ice cold.

The journalist visibly gulped before packing up quickly and walking away. Max took this opportunity to also find his way back to your side. The two of you watched as Christian completely scolded the Mexican. You couldn’t hear it, but whatever your team principal said, it make Checo red with embarrassment.

Max gave you a shit-eating grin before pulling you into a hug.

“Thanks for being my best teammate kid. You’ve changed me for the better. Let’s go get you that second win.”

You pulled away with tears in your eyes as you laughed a bit.

“You’re just going to let me win? Thee Max Verstappen purposely losing a race to little old me?”

The Dutchman shook his head. “No, I’m not going to let you win. You’re going to take it from me.”

Well, Checo was right about only one thing.

Max did overtake you on the first turn.

But that was it.

You didn’t eat Ferrari tyre.

Your seat was yours to keep.

And Max was right about everything.

You made him work for the lead and overtook him on the second to last lap. Your cars fought for all they could give, drivers wanting another taste of victory.

For Max, it seemed like it had been a while.

For you, it was like Monza was yesterday.

And that sweetness from the win. The nickname you earned there from the Italians (who were much nicer).

Charles Leclerc, the Predestined.

Max Verstappen, the Inevitable.

Y/n L/n, the Long Awaited.

The victory was oh so sweet. Maybe you just really had to learn to block out the haters. It’s what you should have done at the beginning of the weekend.

But you showed everyone who you were as you stook on the nose of you trusted Red Bull. Fists near your body as you yelled, hunched over.

Max was right behind you, followed by the familiar Ferrari of Charles Leclerc. The two rivals watched as you pointed at the now booing crowd. They laughed as your motioned that you couldn’t hear them, cupping your hand by your helmet where your ear would have been and shaking your head. You shrugged and jumped off.

Your hand clasped Max’s hand and then Charles’s. You walked (more like skipped) by your team, being pulled in by the mechanics.

You took your helmet off quickly and got in line to be interviewed. Thankfully, for once, it was a woman.

She was smiling widely as she spoke into the microphone.

“Y/n that was splendid driving you did out there. And congratulations on your second win. I know this win is a little different than Monza, so tell me a bit about your race and how you’re feeling.”

You smiled as you spoke into the mic that you held.

“Ah well, this is very different from Monza. It was fun to race against my teammate. Normally, I’m behind him getting a nice tow, but the team really wanted to see us just go at it. Obviously, at the end of the day, Red Bull is what matters, but I had fun with Max. And this win just feel more special because I can tell that not a lot of people wanted me to win.”

You were huffing by the end of your statement, but the lady was grinning at your answer.

“Well, I will let you go celebrate, but mighty well done!”

You skipped a bit to the cool down room before heading to the podium. You wanted to follow Charles and Max, but someone led you down to the little lift where your car was waiting.

You knew that Charles and Max had already walked out when the lift slowly started to rise. On your head was the biggest sombrero you had ever seen. You climbed up on the nose of your car and sat cross-legged as you slowly rose. Once it stopped, you took your place at the top step and put your hands behind your back.

Jokingly, you took the hat off and placed it on Max’s head. He only rolled his eyes (but kept it on for your amusement).

People tried to yell and boo during your anthem, but you honestly couldn’t hear them over your own heartbeat. It was nice to see a certain disgruntled Mexican down below, arms crossed as he looked everywhere but up.

You smirked as you showered champagne onto Max and Charles, with you getting sprayed in return.

Fuck them haters – honestly.

redbullracing has posted

redbullracing rookie got a second win and max got a hat! time for a siesta!

due to strong storms and flooding, the Sao Palo Grand Prix is canceled and will not be rescheduled

liked by y/n.nation, formulala_delulu, arthur_leclerc, and 534,209 others

rookie_freshmanyear OH YEAH - THAT'S MY DRIVER

max&co max got the hat back

y/n&max4ever she truly is the best teammate max has ever had

y/n_on_top true, what checo said was horribly wrong

maxverstappen1 ok you're done - no more wins

y/n.89 booooo charles_leclerc certified every other racer hater landonorris tomatoes tomatoes tomatoes oscarpiastri you all can speak for yourselves :(

y/n.nation sad for Brazil but they will be in our thoughts

formulafan still can't believe that the next race is FREAKING VEGAS BABY

rookieroo I know right! what if - hear me out - y/n wins again as a homecoming formulala_delulu ok let's get you back to bed

mericanf1_fan YEAH VEGAS 'MERICAAAAA

TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @fly-me-away @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen-ln4 @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @33-81 @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12 @ilove-tswizzle @justme2042 @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @stopeatread @cha-hot @sadg3 @iloveyou3000morgan @s4turnsl0ver @alessioayla @torchbearerkyle @leptitlu @awekbachira @shreks-sugar-daddy @v1naco @stan-josie @mellowarcadefun @badassturtle13 @beskardroids @callisposts @poppyalice2001 @juniper-july19 @lizzypiastri

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fqithlq · 2 months

Text

✟ ⋆ ౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆. casanova

carlos sainz x fem!reader | request

fc; aishwarya rai

a/n; i made a small mistake with the dates of the 2023 season, so for the sake of this fic, the races go— mexico, monaco, abu dhabi. and ignore the dates in the twitter posts, that’s totally my bad <3

124,927 likes

love4wags Alexandra Saint Mleux entering the paddock with presumed friend.

user1 alex slaying per usual 😌

user2 WHO IS THAT?

↳ user3 i have no idea but she’s so pretty

user4 does anyone have her instagram?

↳ user5 alex’s is @alexandrasaintmleux but i have no idea who the other girls’ is

↳ user6 apparently it’s @yourusername, she was tagged in a post from a long time ago with alex

user7 is she a wag??

↳ @user8 i dont think so, she’s not followed by any of the drivers

september 27, 2023

You sighed as you walked through the paddock, standing close to your best friend, Alexandra. It was hot out, but not hot enough that you were suffering. It was comfortable. You, however, felt the furthest thing from comfortable.

“Lex, are you sure this was a good idea?” You asked her, your voice just low enough to be a mutter. Alex couldn’t hide the twitch at the corner of her mouth, “I’m sure, Y/N. You worry a lot,” She said, “Besides, I needed to get your head out of those books one way or another.”

You rolled your eyes playfully but allowed Alex to wrap an arm around your shoulders. “But you know this isn’t exactly my scene,” You explained, “I can always just… watch this on TV.”

“I know, but we won’t be in the stands with the crowds. We’ll be in the Ferrari garage, m’kay?” Alex reassured you, “It’ll be fun, I promise.”

“And you can finally introduce me to that boyfriend of yours.” You teased her. Alex’s face turned a bright red, but you both arrived at the Ferrari garage before she could reply.

Alex walked in as if she had done it a million times because she had. But you looked around apprehensively. The two of you entered a room away from the crowd of mechanics. Inside, two men wore black fireproofs and a Ferrari race suit around their hips.

The paler of the two immediately went to Alex, placing a kiss on top of her head. “Hi, amor,” He said to her, “I’m glad you could make it.”

Alex smiled, “Me too,” She said before motioning toward you, “This is my best friend, Y/N.” Charles turned to you, “It’s good to meet you, finally. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

You smiled at the Monegasque, “All good things, I hope?”

“Of course,” Charles said. Then, he looked to the other man in the room, “And that’s Carlos, my teammate.”

Carlos looked up from whatever he was looking at, his eyes widening slightly. His dark brown eyes didn’t stray from you– like he was in a trance. In his twenty-nine years of living, Carlos could honestly say that he had never seen a woman as beautiful as you before. Dark hair cascaded down your shoulders naturally, your spaghetti-strap sundress hugging your body perfectly.

Alex seemed to notice his entranced state, and she excused herself and Charles. “We have something to do before the race starts, I’ll meet you in the garage after, Y/N,” she said, sending you a wink as she spoke.

Charles looked at his girlfriend in confusion, “We do?” He questioned. Alex rolled her eyes and elbowed him in the ribs, silently telling him to take the hint, “Right, right, we do!”

You sent her a confused look as the couple left the room, leaving just you and the mystery driver. He turned to you and chuckled, “I’m not sure what that was about…” He said, “Oh, sorry, I have horrible manners. Hola, I’m Carlos,” He reached out a hand to you, which you took and shook. Your hands lingered together longer than expected, feeling like a jolt of electricity went through you before you pulled away.

“Y/N,” You introduced yourself, “It’s nice to meet you. You’re Charles’ teammate, right?”

“That’s right,” Carlos replied, smiling warmly at you. The Spaniard seemed to make light conversation, but you could see it in his eyes, the way they trailed down your body– he had a flirty side. “You watch F1?” He asked, “Well, I’m assuming you do since you’re here.”

“I do, casually,” You replied, “This is my first time watching it in person though, thanks to Alex.”

Carlos’ eyes lingered on your neck for a moment before looking back up to your eyes, watching him with both caution and intrigue. Something about this man drew you to him but also made you wary. You knew men like him very well, almost too well. They were overly flirty but careful with their advances. Confident in who they were and had no fear of talking to women. But they always managed to fuck women over, either ghosting them or cheating on them.

“Yes, thank you, Alex,” He muttered, unintelligible to you. “A Ferrari fan, I hope?” He asked— his voice back to a low volume. You couldn’t stop yourself from smiling, “Of course. I wouldn’t be in the Ferrari garage if I wasn’t.”

Carlos smirked, “Right, that’s true,” He said, “A woman of good taste, I see.” You rolled your eyes playfully, but his deep, husky tone was beginning to affect you more than you cared to admit.

“You could say that, yes.” You replied with a small smile. Carlos’ eyes drifted down to your lips, painted with lipgloss. As the time ticked down to the race, a surge of boldness suddenly hit the man. “I know this is a bit early, but…” He took a deep breath, “Would you be up to going out to dinner with me?”

Your eyes widened slightly. A warmth filled your stomach as Carlos watched you gently. There was a split second where you considered saying yes, but memories flooded back to you. Memories of flirts like him fucking you over. Maybe it was wrong to generalize him based on your first meeting, but you did have to protect yourself.

“I-I wish I could,” You replied. There was a genuine part of you that did. But your mind outweighed your heart, “I’m just so busy getting my PHD, I barely have time to eat anymore.”

Carlos nodded slowly, feeling a significant punch to the gut. He understood where you were coming from, but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel disappointed. He took a spare piece of paper and ripped the corner off it, using a pen to write out his number.

“If you happen to change your mind,” Carlos handed you the small slip of paper, “I’m only a call away.” You took the slip of paper. Before you could say anything, the door opened. It seemed to be one of the mechanics, “Carlos, vamos, we’re almost ready to go.”

Carlos gave you one last look and a nod before he walked out of the room with the mechanic. You were left standing there, breathless, once entranced by the Spaniard. Now that he was gone, all that was left was the sound of your beating heart.

liked by @carlossainz55, @alexandrasaintmleux, and 692 others

yourusername pics from mexico 🇲🇽

@alexandrasaintmleux and yes she did manage to find a place to study in mexico

↳ @yourusername i told you i would

↳ @alexandrasaintmleux also these are so old how’d you forget to post them

↳ @yourusername 🤷🏽‍♀️

@friend1 what book?

↳ @yourusername i think it was daisy jones and the six

@friend2 GORGEEE

@carlossainz55 is that 2 coffees

↳ @yourusername don’t judge me

↳ @charles_leclerc i am heavily judging

October 12, 2023

@alexandrasaintmleux added to her story !

story replies:

@carlossainz55 she’s going?????

↳ @alexandrasaintmleux yep, so this is your second chance, loverboy. impress her

↳ @carlossainz55 i plan to

132,928 likes

love4wags Alexandra Saint Mleux and friend, Y/N L/N in the paddock.

@user1 SHES BACK AND SLAYING AGAIN

@user2 carlos still follows her on instagram 👀

↳ @user3 i think there’s something going on with them, definitely

@user4 i ship carlos and y/n SO HARD

@user5 the way either of them always serve face no matter what

november 5, 2023

It hadn’t been that long since you last attended a Grand Prix, but it was long enough that your nerves returned. Luckily, Alex stayed by your side, being supportive as always. You both sat down at a table together, the buzz and noise of the crowd around you making you feel excited for the race to come.

Alex sipped on a glass of red wine, “I think you should talk to Carlos.” She said, “Go on that date with him. What do you have to lose?”

You scoffed, “My dignity if he turns out to be a Casanova.”

“Y/N, not every flirty guy is like that,” Alex explained, “Carlos is a sweetheart. He’s only had one relationship in the past year.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, “How do you know that?” Alex then flushed, her cheeks turning pink, “I may have asked Charles about it,” She admitted, “I know you’re nervous about that stuff. I wanted to make sure he wasn’t about to hurt my best friend before I did any encouraging.”

You couldn’t help but give her a small smile, knowing she cared that much about you. You took a deep breath, considering your options. You were very drawn to Carlos– who wouldn’t be? He was more attractive than any guy you’d ever met and sweet.

“I think you’re right,” You said, standing up from your seat, “I’m gonna go talk to him.” Alex grinned and cheered you on as you walked off. With your heart pounding, you approached the Ferrari garage.

Looking around, you couldn’t spot Carlos anywhere. You began to worry that you had missed your chance. And before you could think of anything else, one of the mechanics approached you.

“You’re Y/N, right?” He questioned. You nodded, “If you’re looking for Carlos, he’s in his driver’s room.”

You grinned, “Thank you.” You quickly turned around and headed for the semi-familiar driver’s room. You took a deep breath, standing in front of it. You wondered if this was one big mistake. What if he didn’t want to go out with you anymore? What if the months since your rejection had ruined any chance you had?

Suddenly, before you could even knock, the door opened. There stood Carlos, looking as good as ever. He wore a simple black T-shirt and jeans, having a couple of hours before the race. He looked shocked to see you, but a small smile appeared.

“Hermosa,” He greeted you, “It’s good to see you.”

You smiled bashfully at the name. You knew very few words in Spanish, but ‘beautiful’ was one you did know. “It’s good to see you too…” You said, beginning to play with your fingers, “Uhm…”

Carlos noticed your nervousness, gently taking both of your hands in his. Like they did the first time, you felt a sudden jolt of electricity, warming your body. “What is it?” He asked you, eyes darting from your neck, to your lips, to your eyes.

You looked up at him, staring into his chocolatey brown eyes. “Would it be too late to accept that date?” As Carlos processed your words, a smile grew on his face, “Of course it isn’t, hermosa.”

@carlossainz55 added to his story !

replies:

@user1 WHO IS THAT?

@user2 THAT BETTER BE Y/N

@user3 why can’t that be me 🥲

@user4 carlos soft-launching was not on my 2023 predictions list

liked by @alexandrasaintmleux, @carlossainz55, and 619 others

yourusername finally said yes 💋

@carlossainz55 and i’m so happy you did ❤️

↳ @yourusername ❤️

@alexandrasaintmleux you’re welcomeee

↳ @charles_leclerc we did so well

@friend1 adorable

@friend2 CUTEEE

142,183 likes

love4wags Alexandra Saint Mleux and Y/N L/N entering the paddock.

@user1 FERRARI WAGS 🔛🔝

@user2 what gave them the right to be so pretty?

@user3 the real crime is Y/N’s instagram still being private

↳ @user4 at least carlos gives us content every once and a while

November 26, 2023

#formula 1 ୨୧ #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 x y/n #formula one x y/n #formula one x you #formula one x reader #formula 1 x y/n #formula 1 x you #formula 1 x reader #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz x y/n #carlos sainz x female reader #carlos sainz fluff #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz

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uglyducklingofthe2000s · 3 months

Text

Between Rivals - Kimi Räikkoönen

Request: hi I was hoping you could write something with kimi maybe? Fluff/slow burn whatever you choose. Like how they start dating. He makes the first move. Reader is also a driver with ferrari. They are similar behavior but maybe reader is little bit more open then he is.

Slight edit in request: Yeah that's fine but then maybe keep the reader in rb maybe? Cuz I want kimi and her to have more competition in terms of racing too. Also when u post the final fiction can u keep me anonymous?

Thanks!!

Obviously going to have to alter Red Bull's performance in 2007 since they weren't competitive. But I think I can manage it. Also to anyone that doesn't know Kimi is my favourite ever driver, like I'd pull him back kicking and screaming if I could. The Iceman literally has my heart.

Just for context I'm not giving a specific age, but an age range in mind for writing this, driver is out of her rookie year so we're going like 23-25 years old (Kimi is 27). You choose within that space (or don't up to you tbh). We're also going to feature the iconic Alonso-Hamilton teamwork.

When Red Bull announced they were bumping up the Toro Rosso rookie and only female driver on the grid to a Red Bull seat for 2007. People were pretty shocked to say the least.

She'd performed well in 2006 and got a couple good point finishes. But nobody expected to see the rookie be immediately pushed up into the more competitive team.

People have rioted about her quick promotion and progress into a seat they apparently feel other driver's are more deserving of.

Mark Webber hasn't been the warmest towards her either, because apparently he is a believer in the idea that she simply hasn't proven herself enough. And now she's got the like of rookie Lewis Hamilton who is in an amazing performing McLaren.

To avoid saying something that might reflect badly on her, she keeps quiet when the press conferences happen and often she's not even listening. Which is how she found herself being poked by a surprising person but the only one who seemed to be in reach to pull her back from her thoughts.

"They are asking you." Kimi states quietly seeming amused at the fact she'd ignored the journalist and then not even noticed when they repeated the question.

"Oh-OH, oh sorry. Could you say that again?" Y/n asks leaning into her mic while noticing Kimi laughing a little.

Y/n answers the boring question that honestly is just another attempt at tearing down her character, her abilities as a driver and if she believes she is capable of getting a podium. Since they have yet to see her stand up there, though she has made the top 5 a couple times and gathered decent points in accordance to Christian.

As the press conference is called to an end, the first group leave and y/n finds herself walking side by side with Kimi.

"I saw you laughing at me. Do I take that as a compliment or as an insult?" Y/n asks figuring that while it's unlikely a friendship with one of the most notoriously quiet and probably the hardest to befriend if he hasn't already decided he wants to befriend someone.

"Bwoah, they shouldn't ask questions they know we don't want to answer." Kimi shrugs while she sighs softly. "They always ask stupid questions."

Y/n nods then managing a very weak smile which seems to earn some sympathy.

"Don't let them get to you. You are the one driving on the track. Not them." Kimi states before Y/n's name is called making her smile weakly.

"Thank you." Y/n sighs earning a short nod before he watches her jog off to the Red Bull media team who called on her.

Y/n sighs cracking her knuckles as she sits in the car, getting buckled in as they all ready themselves for the race.

By some miracle and a badly timed rain storm in qualifying. Y/n has managed to get P2, only behind Kimi in P1.

"Radio check." Her race engineer states into her ear.

"Loud and clear." She confirms before shifting ever so slightly. Not that there's a lot of give now she's all seat belted in.

Y/n gets a pretty amazing start. But what she does expect is for the McLaren's to have an even better start then decide to sandwich in on her and close the door. Not only knocking her out but both of themselves too.

However it's her car that flips when it digs in the gravel, though thankfully being airborne it flips back the right way up.

"Ah fuck. Ah." Y/n pants undoing her seatbelt and tossing her steering wheel in a moment of rage, her radio unclipped before they can ask if she's ok and get an answer. Instead she's already out pulling off her helmet and balaclava to try and ease the ache of her lungs in having been winded.

It's only then she realises how far away she ended up from the other two cars.

The safety car is out as she is aided by the medical car that was immediately on the scene since it was only the first half of the first lap.

"I'm ok. I'm fine." She dismisses but they insist on checking her over in the medical car and driving her to the medical centre.

All three drivers find themselves in the medical centre, and both McLaren drivers find themselves turned away by her trainer when they attempt to apologise. Though she notes they both come to her separately with their apologies since it turns out she's got bruised ribs and a mild concussion from the impact.

Eventually she finds herself in the media pen and the journalists are practically jumping on each other to get to her.

"Y/n! How are you feeling? We've already spoken to Fernando and Lewis. They've admitted they were at fault and have regrets over the injury they caused to you."

"Y/n, you had a few drivers worried. Kimi Raikkonen asked about you a few times before they called for the red flag and then his trainer was spotted at the Red Bull wall talking to Christian."

Now that was news. And surprisingly news at that.

"All I can say is that right now I'm not in a place to accept apologies from either of the other drivers involved and I need to rewatch the incident from different angles to learn and figure out how to not get tangled in other teams pretty pathetic feuds." Y/n states without apology. "Thank you."

And like that she's gone. Her mind not exactly in the right place to be redirecting itself onto the Finnish Ferrari driver. But it drifts that way anyway.

"Was Kimi asking about me?" Y/n asks as she walks with her trainer who laughs a little handing her a water bottle.

"Yes. He was. A few times to my knowledge."

"Ok."

Y/n ends up in the debrief room with her half of the team reviewing things with her and talking her through how it was entirely beyond her control and if this were to happen again, she still could not avoid it.

"Hey, golden star. How are you feeling?" Christian asks making her sigh softly a little.

"Bruised ribs, mild concussion. But I'm fine." She states earning a frown. "I could've had this podium with the strategy."

"Don't dwell on it."

Easier said than done and Christian knows it.

Y/n didn't mean to make it her mission to track Kimi down before he left but she did manage to catch him and smile brightly as she walks alongside him.

"Oh no." Kimi murmurs while she grins at him.

"I heard you were quite worried about me."

"I saw you on the screen. It was a bad crash and they were idiots." Kimi states making her hum before she nods a little.

"That's true." Y/n smiles then sighing as she walks. "It was actually nice to hear that someone was concerned. I know drivers aren't really meant to be all that caring towards each other, but for you to send your trainer to the pit wall and ask. It's not very Kimi of you."

"Maybe you don't know me enough to say that." Kimi shrugs making her feel like she may have just completely insulted the Ferrari driver. "Would you like a ride to the hotel?"

Y/n blinks in shock almost retracting pure out of being caught off guard.

"That'd be great, yeah." Y/n nods, though she has her own car there. Really she probably shouldn't be driving with a concussion so getting a lift is definitely wise. "You know, I haven't eaten either. I could do with some company getting something to eat."

"Food sounds good."

And just like that, suddenly the two were arranging an unofficial date.

What y/n didn't expect was for the date to continue to her room and while they didn't have sex, Kimi ended up dancing his fingertips around the purple hued bruises.

Y/n felt a type of peace and comfort that was the last thing she expected as a form of ending her day.

Between races y/n and Kimi spent quite a bit of time together and had fell into a quick dynamic with each other in that by the next race weekend after a two weekend gap. Y/n is more than happy walking in with her hand linked to Kimi's.

It's pretty safe to say the rumours that were circulating after her race crash, have suddenly been confirmed. Despite not actually being true when the initial crash and pushing to know if y/n was ok occurred.

There's some messiness in at the free practices, and Q2 is cut short when Mark crashed on his flying lap. Making for a red flag.

But eventually she finds herself in P5 for the race start. Kimi is P3 in front of her.

She already had a chat with Christian, talks about the risk and what could happen as a result of her dating Kimi. But he has told her that if she wants to date him, technically he can't stop her. She was warned to not let her feelings effect her race pace or her moves on Kimi.

It's already something her and Kimi have agreed to never hold what happens on the track against each other. Though the exception would surely be if they were involved in something like in the last race.

After a radio check, it's just a waiting game to get on with the formation lap and the race. So when they've all refound their starting positions after the formation lap,

The strategy is right, and y/n manages to get herself in a podium position within the last 5 laps. She just has to fight off Mark behind her and possibly shoot for P2. But that means fighting Kimi.

And actually the battle between the three almost comes at a cost, but Mark gets team orders to stop fighting her in the last two laps to give her a chance at focusing on fighting Kimi since they have faith her in not caving in.

It's half way around the last lap she dive bombs him and finally takes the P2 and after that she's trying to rocket past him, foot to the floor and throttle down.

Crossing the line she's actually screaming, though no one can hear her since her radio isn't on and she's just completely beyond excited about it.

By the time she gets to parc ferme, the Red Bull team are cheering and hollering before she even gets to them but she's lifted off her feet by the mechanics chucking her around and yelling in victory. It's not a win, but it's the second best thing to a win and that's all they need.

"You are our golden star, y/n." Christian shouts making her beam before she pulls back and sees Kimi with Ferrari who are cheering and congratulating him before she moves over to him and despite his hatred of such public affection he does manage to scoop her up in a hug and hold her tightly.

"I thought I had you, you caught me off guard." Kimi states once their helmets are off and they're moving into he cool down room. Something that is a new experience for her.

"This is so cool." Y/n states making Felipe look at his teammate since the young woman is clearly too easily impressed by the cool down room.

Y/n smiles as she lifts her helmet to block the view of the camera and kisses Kimi before dropping it again and moving when they are called to get out on the podium while Kimi flushes slightly over the young woman's actions.

They get out with Kimi going first in his usual calm demeanour, then y/n comes bounding out waving he hands encouraging the Red Bull cheers before she stands up on the podium in a more behaved manner. Though the camera does capture a moment of Kimi smiling and admiring the young woman in her celebration.

After the anthem both Felipe and Kimi make the first podium for y/n special and completely soak her nearly using both their entire bottles as they leave her quite literally dripping in champagne and sort of blinded by the fizzy drink as she tries to wipe at her eyes.

They manage to guide her to take a mouthful of her own champagne before Kimi takes her hand and helps her move from the podium. Another moment the cameras are happy to capture.

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wynnyfryd · 5 months

Text

Trailer park Steve AU part 28

part 1 | part 27 | bonus stobin scene | ao3

cw: anxiety attack, graphic thoughts of death

Chapter 7

Steve's mom leaves the week before Thanksgiving.

No preamble, no notice, no "so long and thanks for paying rent," just— poof. Gone. Ta-ta, kiddo. Have a great life!

(Or don't!

Who cares?

Not me, that's for sure!)

The worst part is Steve finds out from Ernie of all people. Ma couldn’t even tell him to his face that she’s abandoning him to the gaping maw of this hellish town because she’s a good-for-nothing coward. Some day this place is gonna swallow him whole, splinter the bones and cough up the pellet, and Florence Harrington will be somewhere far, far away, sighing empty condolences over a fresh glass of red. “Just dreadful, isn’t it? Such a pity; what a shame.”

Steve’s hanging towels on the clothes line the day after the party — after the ride to drop off Max and the hangover brunch with Robin; after drowning his headache in Tylenol and finally getting home, only to realize that he can’t shower yet because all the towels are soaking wet — when Ernie looks up from his yardwork and casually ruins his goddamn life.

“You're wastin' your time with that,” he says, propping his weight against a rake and squinting at Steve in the mid-afternoon sun.

“What?” Steve frowns; hangs another towel. It's not like they're going to dry themselves. "Why?"

"Too cold."

"It's not supposed to rain, though, is it?"

"No, but the humidity—"

Screw the humidity. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

Ernie shrugs. “Suit yourself.”

He turns his attention back to his yard, dragging the rake over a smattering of damp leaves; obsessed with keeping his little patch of lawn pristine; and Steve reaches into the hamper and sincerely hopes that Ernie’s wrong. He needs a shower, and if the towels don't dry fast enough they get that gross mildew smell to them, and then it gets in Steve's hair, and how is he supposed to flirt with Eddie if he smells like musty lake water?

"Where's your mom off to, anyway?" Ernie asks after a moment. "Saw her leave this morning with two big suitcases,” he explains when Steve throws him a questioning look. “Figured she was off somewhere nice.”

Steve blanches.

Two big suitcases?

He didn’t even notice that she wasn’t here. Feels like a stupid, selfish asshole now, because he’d called ‘ma, I’m home!’ when he got in earlier and had thought nothing of her complete lack of response, the peaceful silence of the house; had welcomed it at the time, even, and what if—

Oh, god, what if she’d died?

What if she’d been lying there dead in her room, and Steve didn’t bother to check because he was too busy thinking about himself and how nice it was not to hear reruns on the TV for once? How long would she have lain there, rotting and bloated, and— and how long would his dad have, if the gunshot hadn’t rung out? How long; how long? Bleeding out on the carpet gurgling fish sounds everything red and Steve can’t breathe—

“Did she—?” he pants. Brings a hand to his throat; tries again. “Did you- see who she left with?”

“Some woman. Relative of yours, maybe? I didn’t get a good look at her. Had a real fancy car, though. Mercedes, think it was.”

Steve chokes on his own spit. Feels his throat close up, his heart pound and his ears ring and the yellow-purple-black start creeping in like vines at the edge of his vision, like demogorgon claws; like death’s shark-toothed grin. Hungry, howling, happy as it takes a bite out of him.

“You alright?” Ernie asks.

Steve grinds his jaw so hard he feels something crack. "Excuse me," he grits out, stomping back into the house.

—

"Fuck!" Steve shouts to his empty house — to the sun-faded paneling, to the weird stain in the orange carpet. Fucking Cecelia; fucking hell.

He cleans the house in a rage, eyes hot with unshed tears, and there's a note on the breakfast table. Crisply folded on plain paper, prim cursive letters, almost comically estranged:

Steven,

Apologies for short notice. Gone to stay with Aunt Cece in Evanston. Call or visit if you like.

— Mom

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving

The words leave papercuts in his throat. Steve rips the note to tiny pieces, can hardly see for the tears swimming in his eyes, but he's not crying over this; he's not. He fucking refuses.

Somewhere along the way, the cleaning turns to blind destruction, demolition of the all the little scraps of life mom left behind: her creepy angel figurines, her vintage Pyrex dishes, an empty bottle of old perfume. Steve hurls them all against the living room wall, delights in the shimmering pile of broken glass at his bare feet. Wants to crawl over it on hands and knees. Wants to burn this place to the ground.

When the sun dips below the trees he goes back out to check the towels. The air is wet, bitterly cold; nips at his hands when the wind blows, and the towels hang heavy on the line, just as damp as before but now the slightest bit stiff with the first creep of frost.

"FUCK!" Steve roars, ripping a towel down off the line. Yanking each one down in turn, throwing them into the dirt, raging, "What! Is! The fucking! Point!"

His tears spill over then, hot and wet as he sinks to his knees with a wounded growl, and he chokes there in the dirt; the cold, wet mud, the patchy grass. Gravel digs into his shins, and sobs wrack his chest, capsize him like plunging waves, and he can't do anything but shake and cry where the whole neighborhood can see. Making a commotion; making a scene, as his mother would say, but his mother's not here. She fucking left. She left him here, and his dad did, too, and Steve is utterly, truly, hopelessly alone.

"Come on, son."

And there’s Wayne Munson, coaxing him up off the ground with a sure, strong grip. Steve makes animal sounds as Wayne lifts him under the arms — ruined hiccups, mangled wails. There's mud in his lungs. Ocean silt; sucking sludge.

His mother's gone.

"Easy now," Wayne shushes; hugs him hard against his side. "You're alright, kid. You're alright."

—

part 29

tag list under separate reblogs, comment if you’re over 21 and want to be added tomorrow

#trailer park steve au #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #steddie fic #my writing #my fic #wayne munson #cw: angst

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moonhoures · 6 months

Text

Kiss Me Thru The Phone

🕷️ kinktober — day 23: phone sex 🕸️

pairing: felix (stray kids) + reader (afab/fem)

genre: idol!au, smut

warnings: 18+, minors do not interact, explicit smut, established relationship, phone sex, masturbation

word count: ~950

synopsis: sure, having an idol bf isn’t exactly ideal, and having phone sex with said bf at 4am is definitely less than ideal. but you make it work 👍🏻

a/n: sorry again for the delay. hope you guys enjoy 💋

posted: october 27, 2023

kinktober masterlist

Dialing . . .

That word taunted you for the third time as you waited for your boyfriend to answer the phone. He was several thousand miles away from you, in a different timezone, so he was just getting ready for bed. Meanwhile, you had set an alarm for 4 a.m. so that you could tell him goodnight. Though, that was starting to seem like it wasn’t going to happen as your third attempt to call him caught his voicemail. You decided then to give up. Maybe he already fell asleep, you thought as you let your phone fall back onto the empty space beside you where his body would usually be snoring softly.

But just as your eyes were closing, your phone buzzed. You picked it up, the lit-up screen showing his contact photo.

“Sorry I missed your call, baby. I was in the shower,” Felix said once you answered.

“S’okay, how was your show tonight?”

“It was fucking amazing. The fans were so loud and their energy was great all night,” you could picture the wide smile on his freckled face as he spoke. The thought made you smile.

“That’s awesome. I can’t wait to see your show in Australia soon.”

“Trust me, it’s all I’ve been thinking about. I haven’t been home in so long, and I can’t wait to have you meet everybody.”

“Not too much longer,” you reminded him. You let out a groan as you stretched yourself across the bed, and your boyfriend laughed softly.

“Tired?”

“Tired? Why would I be tired? It’s just four in the morning,” you replied sarcastically.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t be tired, but I understand. I’ll let you get some sleep, babe.”

“Wait, why’s that?” you asked, but you knew Felix well enough to know exactly what he meant.

“I just . . . miss you a lot. And I’ve got this room all to myself, unlike yesterday,” he explained, making your heartbeat speed up. Your body was heating up at just the thought of him, so you peeled the sheets back.

“You miss me?” you repeated, “How much, Lix?”

“A lot, baby. I’ve thought about you all day.”

“What have you been thinking about?” your hands moved over your body, fingertips gliding over your bare thighs and up your stomach. Your skin broke out in goosebumps.

“Coming home to you in a few days,” his voice was a little deeper than normal, the lust evident in his timbre, “Wanna spend every second with you.”

“You will,” you agreed, hands sliding under your shirt to cup your breast, “You can have me for as long as you want.”

“Yeah? Can’t wait to fuck you when I get home. Been dreaming about your pussy for weeks,” you swore you could hear his hand pumping his cock on the other end of the line. You instantly became wet at the mental image of him in some nice hotel bed, fisting himself to the thought of fucking you. Having his way with you in your bed, your scent filling his nose. Your lips on his. His hands holding onto you tight, wordlessly promising to not let you go anytime soon. “Are you touching yourself too, _______?”

“Yes,” you squeaked out, hand sinking under the band of your underwear to play with the space between your thighs. Your skin was slick under your touch, making it easy to rub and massage your sensitive clit.

“Good, get nice and wet for me. Can you do that?”

“Mhm,” you couldn’t focus on answering, you put it all into aiming for pleasure. You were in a rhythm now, and it felt good. Not as good as when Felix touched you, but it would do for the circumstances.

“I’m so hard right now,” he confessed, his breath becoming heavy, “All for you. Can’t stop thinking about how good you would feel around me. How tight you would be. How wet.”

“Felix,” you moaned, dipping your fingers into your hole, thrusting two of them in and out. You wondered if he could hear the sounds of it from his side, but you got your answer sooner than you thought when he let out a moan.

“Fuck, say my name again, baby.”

“Felix,” you cooed his name, legs fidgeting as the pleasure between them grew. You heard a faint disgruntled noise on the other end, and a smirk sat on your lips at the idea of him cumming from just you moaning his name. “It feels so good. Wish it was your fingers.”

A groan sounded from his end, “I know, baby, me too. Are you gonna cum?”

“Mhm.”

“Good, cum all over those pretty fingers. Let me hear you,” his voice came out breathlessly. You could tell he was close too. A few minutes passed and the sounds your boyfriend was making on the other end of the call were making you go crazy. Your body was buzzing with anticipation for an orgasm that was getting so close you could practically feel it already. Your muscles tensed and moans ripped from your throat.

Unbeknownst to each other, you both came at the same time. Your thigh twitched from the impact before your legs fell limp. Felix’s hand continued to milk his softening erection, now coated in his own cum. He was really thankful he decided to put a towel down just in case, because he did not want to have to face the hotel maids in the morning with such obvious stains on his duvet cover.

“That was a nice way to get to sleep,” he mumbled to you through his post-orgasm haze.

“And a nice way to wake up.”

— taglist #1

@jaylaxies @xiaoting999 @kookthief @zaddywilk @wonrangwoo @pedriswrld @ikykleeknowww @odisdad @abby-grace @jungwonloveer @pinklemonadeflav @celestialplatinum @luvkpopp @nlklstan @kisses4denji @jenos-eye-smiles @a-l-i-y-a @channiesprincess @bekah931215 @heerinnie @fairygirl18 @cinnikoi @im-ur-calico-cat @unlikelysublimekryptonite @k-drizzle @iguanas-world

#stray kids smut #skz smut #lee felix smut #felix smut #[🕷️] kinktober 23 #stray kids fanfic #skz fanfic #felix fanfic #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #felix imagines #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #felix scenarios #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #felix x reader

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thepersonnamedsam · 11 months

Text

tiktoks on the paddock

pairing: genz!driver x '23!grid

summary: tiktoks about the paddock are fun

word count: 873

warnings: none

note: enjoy :) it’s a bit short…

masterlist / taglist

The paddock, a place where many things are happening all at once. And phew, for y/n it’s like a feast for content. She loves filming everything and collecting memories. Her TikToks are an absolute favourite by the fans. Loving the content of all the drivers and her.

At the Australian GP, where she finally met Danny again, she wanted to do a TikTok with him. „Please Danny, please do a TikTok with me. I don’t even have to post it, it’s just for me and you“, she pleaded with puppy-dog-eyes and how could anyone ever say no to that face. „Alright, what do we have to do?“ - „Let’s do that one.“

Just guess how many tries it took to finally have a good result. 27 tries, 27! Daniel kept laughing or people would walk in and they had to restart the whole thing.

„Daniel Joseph Ricciardo, please be serious!“ - Oh oh, y/n just called me by my full name, this can’t be good“, he muttered. „Just try please“, she begged him. She loved his laugh, but he did it every time. Okay, she had laughed for the first few tries as well, only because he had laughed, but still.

And then Lando walked in: „Whatcha guys doin?“, y/n did not seem impressed. „Lando, you just walked into our TikTok and now we have to start again, do you know how long this takes?“, her voice serious and stern. Lando put his hands above his head and surrendered. He kind of wanted to ask to be apart of the TikTok, but as soon as he saw the look on her face, he didn’t.

As they finally managed to make a decent take, she was so happy. Doing her happy dance like she did as a little child. Daniel couldn’t help but laugh, the younger driver was just adorable. „Thank you Danny!“ She went and hugged the reserve driver. „Aw, you’re very welcome, y/n.“

And she always did a ‚get ready with me for paddock‘ TikTok, the fans love it.

„Okay guys, hello and welcome to my GRWM for the Miami GP! I am so excited! The Americans always make this huge deal out of the grand prix‘s and we’ll see how it’ll turn out this year.“ She looked into the camera of her phone, seeing her own figure. „Let’s see, I know that Lewis is gonna wear a sequinned purple jumpsuit, should we match him or do our own thing?“ Her hands were both placed on the sides of her head, squishing it, as if this would produce more ideas.

She didn’t pack that many outfits, only recently gotten into fashion, because of Lewis, duh. But you could describe her style as 70s or early 80s kind of pop-rock style, with some floated pants and vintage pieces. It wasn’t unique, she knew that, but it was what made her comfortable in her own body, thats the main reason why she wore it.

„The temperature will be high today and I don’t feel like sweating before the race. I will do that enough during. Hmm, let’s look.“

„I think I’m gonna go with these pants“, she held up some blue pleaded pants. „Yes ohh, and definitely my Rolling Stones shirt. It looks like something Harry would wear!“ That shirt was probably as old as her, she bought it in an old vintage store in Vegas in 2022.

„Oh and maybe Lily has some nice shoes for me and a bag! Let’s go ask her!“ She took the phone off the nightstand and stormed out of her hotel room. She lightly knocked on Alex‘ room and he opened. „Hey y/n, what can I do for ya?“ - „Is Lily here?“, she didn’t even said hello to him. He was taken back for a moment, but he already knew that his girlfriend was higher on y/n‘s list. „Uh yeah, she’s here.“ She pushed him aside and went into the hotel room.

„Lily, say hi to my TikTok“, she pointed her phone at the chines golfer. The spoken to just waved and looked a bit confused. „Lily, my dear, I want to wear these pants and that shirt, do you have some shoes for me?“ She looked at the older girl. „Yes, I have the perfect shoes and a bag that would look so lovely on you“, Lily was excited, always wanting to dress up the young driver.

She gave her some brown faux leather shoes with a little bit of heel. And a brown bag. She also found a hat that would look good on her. Together with some accessories, y/n was ready for the paddock (and finished with her TikTok).

Later that day, the media talked about her outfit and how it looks like something Harry Styles would wear. She was happy to see that they saw who inspired the whole look.

She didn’t do the GRWM often, but what she did was the whole trend stuff, sign her up for some funny filters, who’d she pick to be her Hogwarts Parents or some stupid dances she saw on her For You Page. She was obsessed with TikTok. She usually spent two hours before she went to sleep on TikTok. But who doesn’t.

°°°

taglist: @ironmaiden1313 , @topguncultleader , @missskid , @gulabjamooon , @lovelyy-moonlight , @peachyplumsss , @mistrose23 , @copper-boom , @love4lando , @champomiel , @serenityleah , @iloveyou3000morgan

#tiktok #f1 x reader #formula 1 #f1 #charles leclerc x reader #carlos sainz x reader #sebastian vettel x reader #fernando alonso #genz driver #daniel ricciardo #lando norris #george russell #lewis hamilton #female driver #gen z

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shanastoryteller · 8 months

Note

Hello! Thank you for taking the time to open prompts! Could i ask for some lady mo, or anything with wei wuxian? He’s my fave!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44

When one of the servants A-jie had brought with her when she married catches his eye and then disappears, Jiang Cheng’s stomach drops.

He leaves Shuchun to deal with the official mingling, which earns him a dirty look, but he refuses to feel bad about it. Wang Yan is hovering at the edges and either she or Jin Ling will save her from any truly obnoxious conversations.

He makes his way to his sister’s rooms, knocking twice before pushing inside. “What’s going on?”

The first person he sees is Jiang Xingyi, which is never good, but A-jie appears whole and healthy. She grabs his arm with both hands, pulling him close before whispering, “Would you be able to get genkwa before the end of the night hunt?”

“Yes,” he says, even though doing it without getting caught is going to be nearly impossible. What his sister needs, she gets. “How far along?”

She doesn’t look any different to him, but then again she never does. But if she needs it before the end of the night hunt, she must have caught it late this time.

This isn’t the first time he’s needed to do this.

A-jie’s body might not be able to handle another birth. He knows that she wants a big family, but none of them are willing to risk her life for another child.

Well, he and Jin Zixuan aren’t. Jin Guangshan and Madam Jin would do it gladly, which is why they can never, ever know of the times he’s had to smuggle the crushed purple little flowers into her hands.

“It’s not for me,” she says which leaves him blinking. “Maybe we won’t need it, but she won’t stop crying, and I don’t want to offer her something that I can’t carry through on. You’re sure?”

“Yes,” he says, “but who are we talking about?”

If it’s A-jie, everything has to be handled with the utmost secrecy, only Jiangs, Jin Zixuan, and Jin Guangyao privy to her condition. But a servant girl or even a noble’s daughter doesn’t garner enough attention to warrant their normal subterfuge.

A-jie gives him a look so full of grief that he’s already reaching for her before she turns and crosses over to the entrance to her private bath. She knocks then leans against the door, “Meimei, can you come out? There’s someone else here, he can help you. You can trust him, I promise.”

The endearment tells him nothing beyond it’s a woman younger than A-jie.

The seconds drag on and then the door slowly opens, a women clad only in one damp robe stepping out. He lifts his eyes to her face, red and splotchy from crying and her hair a mess all around her, and feels his mouth drop. “Lady Xuanyu?”

The wife to the second jade of Lan is not some servant girl or even just a noble’s daughter.

She sees him and fresh wave of tears roll down her face, but she’s smiling too, and A-jie is relaxing. “Hi Jiang Cheng.”

“Is it his?” he asks, mind spinning. “Lan Wangji’s?”

A-jie glares at his lack of tact, but he’s trying to make sense of this. If she’s sleeping around on Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng is hardly going to blame her for it, but it’ll explain why she needs to end the pregnancy.

She hiccups, lifting a sleeve to wipe at her cheeks. “Y-yeah.”

On the bright side, it’s not like Lan Wangji can hate him more than he already does.

A second reason for her to be so miserable at the news that she’s carrying her husband’s child occurs to him and the rage that sweeps through him is surprising in its intensity. “Does he hurt you?”

He drank with her the night before her wedding and told her that Lan Wangji wasn’t that awful, that he wouldn’t hurt her. He told her that she’d be safe as his bride.

But now she’s sobbing and pregnant and so clearly terrified.

Xuanyu hesitates.

“I’m going to kill him,” he says. It comes out perfectly calm, none of his normal bluster. Both A-jie and Jiang Xingyi pale.

He turns to leave, already planning on drawing his sword first and explaining after. Lan Wangji has made a liar out of him. Xuanyu is young and didn’t ask for any of this and he has a responsibility to protect his bride and Jiang Cheng told her that he wouldn’t hurt her and now she’s here and she’s hurt and he’s going to rip Lan Wangji’s spine out and shove it down his throat.

People don’t like him, don’t get along with him, generally. But she’d sat with him beneath the light of the moon and drank with him and it had been something warm and familiar that he hasn’t had since before the war. He tells himself that’s why he cares his so much when the truth is he doesn’t know why, it’s just that she feels familiar in a way he can’t explain, not when he the first time they met was that night.

“Jiang Cheng!” She lunges forward, hugging him from behind, wrapping her arms around his waist. He braces for the feeling of discomfort, ready to push back agaisnt the urge to shove her off of him. It doesn’t come. “I didn’t mean like that! We spar, a lot, and I get hurt, but I’m always requesting it. It’s not like that.”

He turns in her arms, gently pushing her back but not letting go of her shoulders. “Then why are you crying? It’s okay, you can tell me the truth. I’m not afraid of Lan Wangji.”

“I just,” she sniffs. “I can’t – he doesn’t like me, you know? And – and I’m better than I was, um, healthier, but what if,” she blinks heavily, “what if I’m not strong enough, or something goes wrong, and then – what if I mess it up? And it’s all my fault, because I was weak, and then I’m a failure and he hates me–”

“Oh, Xuanyu,” A-jie whispers. He knows she had a lot of those same fears when she was pregnant with Jin Ling, and she and Jin Zixuan were in love, and he proposed to her fully knowing the state of her health.

Both Xuanyu and Lan Wangji were forced into this marriage.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” he says firmly. “If you don’t want to have this baby, then you don’t have to. Whatever the reason. And if anyone tries to force you to, I’ll stop them. I don’t care who they are. Understand?” He waits until she gives a wide eyed nod. “But I don’t – I don’t think that Lan Wangji will react like how you think he will. And if he disappoints you, then I will help you take care of it. But I don’t think he will.”

Twice now he has vouched for Lan Wangji to Xuanyu, this girl who feels like another sister even though he barely knows her.

If Lan Wangji makes a liar out of him, he will beat him bloody and not even Lan Xichen will be able to hold it against him.

#prompt answers #prompts are closed #asks #anon #untamed

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prettiestdolliestgirl · 2 months

Text

Overwhelming ecstasy

pairing: mike schmidt x afab!reader

tags: 18+, soft dom!mike schmidt, sub!reader, loss of virginity, slight age gap (reader is 24 and mike is 27), masturbation, grinding, size difference, piv, creampie, kind of wholesome(?), aftercare

synopsis: you’ve been dating Mike for a couple of weeks now after being friends for years, you haven’t had sex yet but tonight Abby is sleeping over at a friend’s house and you and Mike are finally going to have some time alone.

-> inspired by the song jupiter by flower face

the three of you are standing on the porch of Mike and Abby’s house, hugging the little girl as her friend’s mother is waiting for her to get in the car.

“you can call if you need anything okay? shelly’s mom has my number, you can ask to call me anytime and i’ll come pick you up whenever you want” Mike tells his little sister, kneeling in front of her to hug her.

“i know! can i go now?” Abby says as she tries to pull away from her older brother’s hug, eager to leave and have fun with her new friends.

“yeah of course…” Mike answers.

as Abby lets go of her brother’s embrace, she turns to you and hugs you tightly. you hug her back and can’t help but feel grateful to have both her and Mike in your life. you met Mike as a little girl, both your parents and his were really good friends, and both of your families used to have weekly dinners and go on trips together. of course, that was before the incident with Garret. you’ve always been extremely close to him, helping him as much as you could throughout all of his hardships. you always knew there was something more, even when you were just a little girl, you knew Mike was the one for you. for years, you were pining in secret, desperately hoping one day he would notice that your feelings were more than platonic. miraculously that day happened, two weeks ago, you promised Abby to sleep over and watch movies with her. you told Mike to get some rest while he could as you took care of Abby the whole night. you both had a lot of fun and even though Mike was in his room trying to sleep, he couldn’t help but smile at the sound of your giggles echoing throughout the house. when he woke up the next day, he knew he wanted to be with you, he never felt that way about anyone before.

in the morning the day after you and Abby’s girl’s night, Mike made the first move. you both bantered as usual but you felt a strong tension that was not there before, that’s when he kissed you for the first time as you were making Abby’s breakfast. you were extremely surprised, after years of desperate devotion to Mike, you had started to lose hope that things could escalate further between the two of you. but they miraculously did and even though you were itching to ask what might have made him suddenly express his attraction to you, you preferred to stay quiet so as not to ruin the moment.

tonight would be the first night you ever spent alone in the house together. as Abby is approaching her friend’s mom’s car you both wave, “have fun Abbs! and don’t forget you can call whenever!” Mike yells out as she is now already in the car. the mother inside the car waves as she leaves their driveway. mike is pretty anxious to let Abby sleep over at someone else’s house. he is extremely protective over his little sister which is linked to his little brother’s disappearance but Mike talked to Shelly’s mom enough times to feel like Abby will be safe and well taken care of there.

mike lets out a big sigh as the car is now out of sight and looks back at you. “just us” he says with a slight smirk.

“just us” you repeat with a soft smile.

the both of you go back inside of the house and you decide to get yourself a glass of water. you can’t help but apprehend tonight, you knew things would probably escalate and get intimate between you and Mike but the thing is you’ve never been intimate with anyone before. despite being 23, you never really felt that kind of attraction for anyone, well anyone other than Mike. men often try to get their way with you when you go out to bars or clubs with friends but you never felt an attraction strong enough to actually go through with it. you’ve kissed a guy in high school but that’s about it, you never really understood how to touch yourself properly either so you never had an orgasm before. you often talk about it to your friends and honestly feel like you’re missing out. despite your inexperience, you still want to try your best and make Mike feel good, he works so hard, he is under so much stress, you want nothing more but to help him relax. Mike had that energy, he had something that made you feel protected as if he was in control of everything happening around you, and sometimes you imagine what it would be like for him to control you.

you’re sitting on the couch watching a TV show, not really paying attention to it, instead, you’re thinking about what might finally happen tonight.

you stayed up late at night ever since you hit puberty, thinking about Mike and his calloused hands, his beautiful brown eyes, and his husky voice keeping you up at ungodly hours, just fantasizing about finally getting close to him.

as your college is close to Abby and Mike’s, you have been spending a lot of time with them lately and your dreams about him have become more and more frequent. just thinking about it was making your cheeks all shades of pink. you turn your head to see Mike watching the TV, slouching on the couch, his hands resting on his stomach. you’ve always been attracted to him, but something about him tonight was driving you insane, maybe it was the way his black sweatshirt hugged his broad shoulders or the simple look of his relaxed body but whatever it was, it was making you feel helpless.

you look at Mike sitting next to you and speak up “I think i’m going to take a shower, is that okay with you?” you ask him. “yeah yeah no problem” he says looking back at you, not noticing your flustered expression and the slight red tint on your cheeks.

you got up and got your night dress from your bag and the underwear you had meticulously prepared two days ahead. for your first night together, you opted for a white ruffle nightgown with lace details and a small baby pink bow sitting on its low-cut neckline. your set of underwear also matched your nightgown and it made you feel pretty and comfortable.

you kiss him on the top of his head and proceed to head to the bathroom to take a shower in a desperate attempt to cool yourself off. you undress slowly and get in the shower, the warm water hitting your skin. you get soap everywhere on your body and begin to clean yourself up but can’t help feeling aroused at the thought of your hands being Mike’s, cleaning every part of your body. slowly and hesitantly, your hands travel down to your lips. As you slowly caress the slit, you move your fingers closer and closer to your clit. you begin to feel nice but as always, you’re blocked, you can’t seem to know your body well enough and can’t seem to ever get to your climax. after a while, you get quite frustrated so you turn off the water and decide to get changed. you slip in your underwear and then in your short nightgown, your breasts slightly spilling out of it.

you head back into the living room and find Mike in the same slouched position as you left him. he turns his head to you and you see his gaze slightly change. ever since you moved near his house for college and you’ve been spending more time around at the house that time spent together helped Mike slowly realize that he had feelings for you that went further than a simple platonic bond.

whenever you laughed or played with Abby, he could feel his heart melt. but as he grew up with you, he never really saw you in a sexual light, he knew he was extremely attracted to you but he never really thought of you that way, except since you had started dating. mike felt a bit awkward about it and you two never really talked about it before so when you hugged him a bit tighter than usual and he felt your breasts pressed against his chest, Mike couldn’t help but excuse himself to release the pressure it had caused in the bathroom.

you and Mike never really talked about having sex or sex as a whole, but both of you somehow knew it was going to happen tonight.

you feel your cheeks getting really warm as you feel his intense glare on your body. you sit back on the couch, right next to him and an awkward silence fills the room for what feels like 5 whole minutes. suddenly, you suggest “we could watch a horror movie?” locking eyes with him.

“yeah that would be really fun” he says, followed by an attempt to clear his voice.

you chose the Blair Witch Project as neither of you had seen it before. Mike gets two beers from the fridge and you get blankets to snuggle on the couch. you switch off all the lights and sit next to each other as the movie starts. you love horror movies, you always did but that didn’t exempt you from getting scared when watching them. the lack of light in the room and the loud volume of the television made it impossible not to jump at every single jump-scare. Mike sensed that you were getting quite scared so he placed his hand on your thigh, showing you that he was there and that everything was okay. a jump scare had you by surprise and made you, almost instinctively move closer to Mike’s side. Mike then offers to move even closer “come over here” he says in a soft voice as he helps your body to his lap. you sit on his lap, your head sitting on his shoulder, his chest facing your back.

Mike is holding your body as you are both watching the film, as you get scared you bury your head in his neck until whatever’s scaring you on the screen is gone. another jump-scare makes your whole body twitch but as you do so, you proceed to get higher on Mike’s lap, now sitting directly on his crotch. as your nightgown is pretty short, his jeans are in direct contact with your underwear but you are so caught up with the movie that you fail to notice it. Mike on the other hand couldn’t think about anything else. slowly he felt a bulge growing in his jeans. he didn’t know what to do and the fact that you kept moving around wasn’t helping his case. the movie was close to its end, but Mike don’t think he could wait until then.

slowly and with care, Mike tries to move his hips in a desperate try to hide his bulge from you. it doesn’t, actually it does the exact contrary as his sudden movement snaps you out of the movie’s tension to another tension, the one growing inside of Mike’s jeans. you feel extremely flustered as all of a sudden you catch Mike’s move as one to make you notice his bulge instead of him trying to hide it from you so you decide to be brave. you sat up on his lap, pretending to be particularly intrigued about the end of the movie, and began to gently grind on his lap. you feel his bulge getting bigger under the weight of your body. Mike calls out your name softly, and you look back at him. he gestures to you to move your body to face him and so you do.

you’re now facing him and you smile looking at his face which is only softly illuminated by the television. the movie is now ending and the credits are starting to roll but neither of you move. mike pulls you in for a kiss and you reciprocate, as you do, you can feel Mike melting into the kiss.

his bulge is twitching as you slowly go back to grinding against it. you can’t help but comment at the size of it “what the hell” you murmur almost talking to yourself. mike slowly chuckles at your comment and asks you “do you want to see it?” with a slight smirk. you nod shyly while looking away from him, feeling quite embarrassed. you had no idea of what you were supposed to do or say as you’ve never been intimate with anyone before. you get off his lap and Mike gets up, turns on a small light, and turns off the TV. your eyes follow his every move while you are still sitting on the couch. he sits back next to you and asks you “do you really want to do this?”. you nod again but mike objects “speak up.”

“i… i want to see it mike.” you say shyly followed by a loud gulp. “good girl” answers mike.

mike gets up again, and stands in front of you. he takes a long time to unbuckle his belt, your eyes are glued to his big calloused hands as they’re removing his jeans’ button. as you see him go for the zipper you quickly stop him by grabbing his wrists. you look up at him through your eyelashes and bring your face closer to his bulge, you then start to take the zipper in your mouth and meticulously bring it down. mike slightly chuckles as he finds you trying to take the lead quite endearing.

mike lets his jeans down leaving him in nothing but his boxers. you’re now face to face with his erect member, you have never seen one in real life before and you can’t help but feel impressed.

you look at it, motionless for a couple of seconds before finally caving in, bringing your fingers to mike’s bulge. you touch it hesitantly, tracing its length with a soft touch. mike winces “f-fuck”, you can feel him twitch under your fingers. you don’t know how to interpret his grimace, “did i do something bad? i’m sorry i just really wanted to feel it, i should’ve asked…” you say looking up at him, quickly removing your hands from his body. Mike catches your wrist and pulls your hand back on his crotch “please, don’t stop”.

you obey and draw circular motions on his tip. you look up to see Mike’s eyes rolling from pleasure, this motivates you to be bold. you bring your face closer to his still-clothed bulge and timidly start to kiss and suckle the fabric of his boxers.

Mike needs more but he wants to treasure every single second he has. as he looks down at you, he can’t help but let out a groan of pleasure at the sight. his eyes wandered lower from your face to your breasts. he can’t help but think about the amount of times he grew semi-hard just at the thought of them. your nightgown’s low-cut neckline left little to the imagination, your breasts spilling out of it. he gently cupped your face with his hands and kneeled to be face to face with you, you looked at him with a confused look for a second but he quickly pulled you in for a kiss. the kiss was sloppy and needy, he pulled away and traveled down to your neck, suckling and biting your skin. he stopped to take in the scenery before burying his face between your breasts, kissing and cupping both of them with his hands as he performed circular motions on your nipples with his thumbs through your nightgown. you could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter, bucking your hips for any friction.

mike sees how desperate you’re getting and decides to help you out. he steadily removes your nightgown from your body, reviling your matching underwear set “you had it all planned didn’t you?” he says with a slight smirk forming on his face. you can’t even say anything back as all you can manage to word is incoherent babbling mixed with moans. mike then proceeds to sit next to you and tugs your body on top his his. as you’re sitting on his lap, you hurriedly move your hips up and down, grinding sloppily on his clothed member, trying hard to feel him through your panties. “mike… mike this feels… feels so good” you sound like a mess, moaning and panting while trying to form half a sentence. mike puts his hands on your hips, guiding you as you grind on his throbbing member. « fuck baby if you keep going like this I might come in my boxers » Mike remarks as he groans loudly.

“Mike, I am ready, I want to feel you” as soon as the words left your mouth, Mike freed his cock from his boxers, ready to do just what you asked him to. you let out a small gasp at the view of his girthy member, this turned Mike on even more which he didn’t believe could be possible. Mike helps you remove your panties and you can’t help but feel embarrassed as you are soaking wet. Mike loves it, as you were trying to hide your face with your hands. he gently pulled your hands away « be good for me, let me see your pretty face as I make you cum ».

Mike glides on his hands and guided it to your cunt, the sound you make as his fingers find your clit are almost pornographic. when Mike pulled his hand away you cried out from frustration, he guided his fingers to your mouth “now lick it.” he ordered. you obeyed and tasted yourself while he watched with an intense glare. as you were done scrupulously licking every drop of your liquid on his fingers Mike asked you “are ready for me baby?”. you nod vigorously. he teased you by brushing his tip against your clit which made your body jolt in pleasure. « tell me if it hurts alright? » he says as he knows it is your very first time, you look up at him and kiss him as a way to tell him to keep going. he finally gave his first thrust, his cock stretching you for the very first time. it felt really weird at first but after a few thrusts, you started to get acquainted with the feeling and getting more and more into it. « baby… you’re so tight, feels so fucking good » Mike vocalizes his pleasure as you’re loudly moaning, getting closer and closer to your climax « Mike I’m going to… I need to… ». he suddenly speeds up his pace, until you both came in unison.

you pull away from him and sit next to him, still panting « I’ve never felt anything like this before ».

« neither did i » he echos as he turns to face you, looking at you lovingly. he gets up and gets you one of his t-shirts to put on and gets you a glass of water. « you did so well baby » he murmurs as he kisses your forehead and places the glass of water on the coffee table in front of the couch.

A/N: aaah okay this was my very first fanfic and I was extremely nervous to post this but I have been obsessed with Josh Hutcherson for months now, more particularly with Mike Schmidt he honestly awakened something in me! I have been using tumblr again for a few months now and I’ve been loving it, it feels like such a safe and cool place to hang out! i really missed it! i didn’t really proofread and english is not my mother’s tongue so I am sorry if there is any grammatical errors in this! also I love flower face so much and this song has been on repeat for months it’s sooo good!

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buckysgrace · 3 months

Note

first of all i wanted to say ur fics r absolutely amazing!!🥹🥹❤️second i wanted to request a one shot with shy virgin reader and experienced gator & so one day gator comes over to babysit reader & her little siblings bcuz their parents r good friends and gator finds out abt reader and becomes obsessed with corrupting her innocence w smut ,, tysm❤️❤️btw gator is older than her by a few yrs but she’s def older than 18,,,she’s 19 abt to turn 20

First of all thank you so much! I really appreciate that! And your request was so juicy ughhh in love. I hope you enjoy!! CW: Age gap (reader is 19, gator is 27), inexperienced reader, fem receiving oral sex, virginity loss, unprotective sex

“Why the hell do you need a babysitter?” Gator questioned, following you into the kitchen as you began to ruffle through the fridge for snacks for the boys. You knew that your four younger brothers would just protest and complain about the vegetables, but you were only doing what you were told. Your mother had been insistent that they eat something healthy before you ordered pizza.

“I don’t,” You responded shyly, feeling like your body was buzzing from warmth, “The boys are just- they don’t listen to me very well.” You admitted truthfully. You usually hated when your parents went out. Majority of the time the house would be in a disaster when they returned and you were usually a frazzled puddle of nerves from not being able to keep up with the energy of all of them.

You didn’t know how they managed to do it, but they’d somehow convinced the Tillman’s eldest and only son to stay and help you until they returned. You were almost certain that this was worse than watching them alone. You’d suddenly lost your voice, your ability to think as soon as he’d entered the house.

Your parents were friends, close enough that you had at least one dinner with them a month but distant enough that you had no idea how to speak to Gator. It didn’t help that he was older, cooler with a charm that left you flustered like you were ten again. Most of your middle school years had persisted of secretly crushing on him.

You faltered as you began to spread peanut butter on the celery sticks, hoping that your mother hadn’t brought that up. You glanced up at him quickly, but quickly calmed your nervous heart as you noticed an almost bored expression on his features.

“Huh,” Gator leaned against the counter as he watched you, his fingertips linking together, “S’funny because I was told I needed to remind you about shutting off the stove, or something like that.” You felt your eyes widen, your lips parting as you quickly thought of a way to defend your previous mistake.

“That happened once.” You spit out instead, shaking your head as you stacked the celery sticks on a plate. You felt flustered as you thought of the memory. It had been one accident after the other with the boys, leaving the cookies that had been in the oven long forgotten.

“Are you not in college?” He asked curiously, setting himself on one of the stools as he glanced at the way your brothers had dumped out another box of toys. You did your best not to grumble in frustration, knowing that you would more than likely end up cleaning that mess too.

“I am,” You replied gently, “I go to the community college. It’s not too far. I like helping out my parents so it works.” You explained gently, knowing that there wouldn’t have been a way for you to afford anything fancy or out of state anyways. He nodded, looking a little interested as he brought a piece of celery up to his mouth.

“That’s sweet of you,” He replied as he continued to munch on a celery stick, “You’ve grown up a lot.” He mused, his eyes suddenly a whole lot more intense as you turned away shyly. You felt your lips curling into a gentle smile, trying to find the means to question him before your younger brothers were suddenly bustling into the kitchen.

“But I like green!” One of your youngest brothers whined, pouting out his bottom lip as he stared up at you in heartbreak. You sighed as he clutched at your skirt, yanking on it to keep your attention on him.

“Well switch with whomever has the green cup.” You tried to reason, giving him a brief smile as the volume in the kitchen continued to grow louder and louder. By the time you were finished speaking, you weren’t even sure that he heard you. You watched the way they roughly grabbed the snacks, sighing as peanut butter spread across their little fingers.

“But I want green.” Your other brother protested, clutching the cup to his chest like it was something special. You sighed, wishing your parents would invest on buying the same colored cups as you began to pass out napkins to your messy brothers.

“Hey,” Gator spoke up, drawing the four younger boys attention to him, “The same thing is in the cup, it doesn’t matter what color it is. You should tell your sister thanks.” He reminded them, raising his eyebrows swiftly as he spoke. You bit back a giggle, grinning at the way your little brothers turned towards you wide eyed.

“Thanks!” They shouted in unison before they were off again. You shot Gator a thankful smile, finally finding your own courage to meet his eyes. You liked the shape of them, how warm and soft they looked as he breezily returned a smile.

The pizza didn’t take much longer to arrive and the rush of tiny feet towards you nearly made you drop the boxes onto the floor. Gator was there a second later, grinning as he took them from your hands and held them high over his head where your brothers couldn’t reach.

You watched the way he set up their plates, his eyes darting as he tried to keep up with who was talking as they told him exactly what they liked and didn’t like. You stifled your own giggle, hoping that someone else realized what a handful they were.

“You can sit here.” He said casually, his lips curling into a playful grin as he watched the way you were searching for a spot to join them in the living room. You were about to protest, not wanting him to sit on the floor until you realized that he was talking about his lap.

You exhaled, your breath feeling cold against your tongue despite your body warming at his suggestion. You glanced away quickly, stifling another nervous giggle as you nodded your head in agreement. It was silly. He was just being nice, letting you sit somewhere rather than the floor that was littered with legos.

“Your birthday is soon, right?” He questioned softly, his breath hot against your exposed neck. You nodded your head shyly, suddenly feeling too awkward to eat as you gaze down at your lap instead of at him.

“I’ll be twenty,” You responded as you pressed your fingertips together, glancing at the way the pink polish was beginning to chip, “I’m excited.” You told him truthfully, liking that you at least got one day out of the year where it could be about you.

“Your boyfriend doing anything special for you?” His question caught you off guard, making your head snap up to meet his inquiring gaze. You stalled, eyes tracing across his moles and the soft hair above his top lip. You looked at his lips next, liking how pink they were.

“No,” You giggled softly, unable to fight the nerves that were bubbling in your stomach, “I don’t have a boyfriend.” You told him bashfully, hoping that he didn’t think of you as a complete loser. You just had a hard time talking to guys your age. Or any guy really.

“A pretty girl like you doesn’t have a boyfriend?” He teased as his fingers slid across your exposed knee, “How come?” You glanced over to your left, ensuring that your brothers were too busy playing to focus on where Gator’s hand was resting.

“I don’t know,” You shrugged your shoulders softly, breath hitching as his calloused hand moved further up your bare skin, “I guess no one has been interested in me.” You continued to speak, feeling like you were in some sort of trance. It was hard to look away from his eyes.

“You’ve never been with anyone?” He spoke a little lower, his voice slightly husky as your eyes dropped back down to his lips. You felt infatuated, unable to tear your gaze away as you watched the way his words rolled off of his tongue.

“No,” You replied shyly, not sure how to handle the way his fingers were pressing into your skin, “I’m pretty boring.” You admitted a second later, but wondered if you should’ve switched that out with sheltered instead.

“It’s sweet,” He responded as he drew his finger underneath the hem of your skirt, “It means you’re pure.” He mumbled softly, his eyes peeled to your face to gaze at your reaction. You parted your lips, your body feeling nearly too warm as you simmered on his comment. You shifted on his lap, hoping he couldn’t feel the way you were trying to press your thighs together.

“Oh,” You said as you looked away timidly, “I guess that’s right.” You replied gently, wondering if that made you more appealing to him. You tried to remind yourself that you were grown, that you definitely no longer had a crush on him. It was hard to follow through with those thoughts. You wondered if he knew how pretty he was.

He kept you on his lap the rest of the night, talking softly about his work and who he thought would make it into the superbowl this year. You didn’t know much about sports, but you clung to every word as his hand warmed your skin. It was nearly too hot, like the sketch of his palm would burn through your flesh.

“It’s bedtime,” You reminded the boys once you finally found the courage to pull yourself away from Gator. You shuffled the leftover pizza into ziploc baggies, sure that at least one of them would get up in the middle of the night to snack on it, “Go brush your teeth.” You reminded them a second later, giving your best stern look to tell them that you meant business.

The room erupted into a series of groans and complaints, but they slowly rose to do what you asked. They threw away their trash, tossed their cups into the sink before they began to race each other to see who could make it to the top of the stairs first.

“Hey,” Gator’s loud voice rang into the air, pausing the movements of your younger brothers, “Are you forgetting something?” He asked as he tapped some of his fingers against the back of the couch. You felt like you were stuck again, staring at the way his long fingers moved.

“We’ll get it later-,” One of them spoke up, trying to brush away the mess that you would inevitably end up cleaning later.

“No,” Gator replied again, “You can clean it up first and then you can go get ready for bed.” He stated, sterner than you would’ve ever been able to handle. You watched, almost in amazement at the way they listened to him without complaint.

You gave them fifteen minutes before you went into their rooms, ensuring that each boy was tucked in and actually trying to sleep. You liked having Gator’s presence lingering behind you as it seemed to actually make the boys listen to you.

“Um,” You breathed out softly as you met him in the hallway again. The lights were dim, but you were still able to make out the slight curl of his lips as he tilted his head to watch you, “Do you want to see my room?” You asked him softly, not quite wanting him to leave yet. You weren’t sure when you’d see him again, or if you’d be able to.

He looked at you curiously, an expression filling his eyes that you didn’t quite understand. It made you falter for just a second, before you were spurred on by the nod of his head. You moved first, slowly walking around him to the end of the hallway.

“Cute,” He complimented as he looked around your room, “I like it.” He replied with a grin plastered on his lips. You shut the door gently behind him, not wanting your light to shine into one of your brother’s rooms and keep them up.

“It’s not too girly?” You asked him softly, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed by the posters you had decorating your walls. Still, it was the only place that you could be on your own.

“Very,” He said a second later, grinning as he turned his head to look at you, “But it’s very you.” He replied as he licked his bottom lip. You glanced down to your socks, feeling a little giggly that he thought he knew anything about you.

“Oh,” You replied gently, biting back a smile as you held your fingers together, “Thank you. I really appreciate your help today.” You told him truthfully as you finally found the courage to look at him again. He looked so handsome, you weren’t sure how you were able to look away in the first place.

“So if you don’t have a boyfriend,” Gator drew out slowly, suddenly making you feel small as he approached you, “Who are you wearing that for?” He hummed softly as he pressed his fingers against your elbows, stepping back just far enough that he could draw his eyes up and down the curve of your body.

“What do you mean?” You whispered shyly, suddenly embarrassed at the outfit you were wearing. You didn’t think it was bad. It was a pale camisole and a skirt that ended against your thighs. It kept you cool from the warm heat that your brothers stirred up in the house.

“Kinda short, don’t you think?” He asked you softly, his eyes flickering up towards yours again. You pursed your lips together, jolting a bit at the sensation of his fingertips touching against your soft sides. He drew them down softly, like he was tracing the shape of your body.

“I thought it fit nicely.” You defended yourself lightly, wondering if he could feel the rough way your heart was beating underneath his skin. You leaned a little closer to him, enjoying how one hand dipped further against the hem of your skirt again.

“It does,” He agreed as his hand fully slid underneath your skirt this time, “But it makes me wonder if you dressed up for a reason.” He mumbled, making your eyes widen as he played with the band of your panties.

“No.” You responded softly, feeling like your chest was collapsing in on yourself. He looked upon you, eyes flashing with the same expression as earlier as he slid his fingertip underneath your panties. You could feel your clit throbbing, growing wet from the sensation and excitement. You’d explored on your own before, but nothing ever felt right.

His eyes stayed glued to your features, like he was waiting for you to stop him as he slowly used his free hand to unzip the side of your skirt. You held your breath, feeling frozen on the spot as the material fell to your feet. He looked just as inquisitive before, like he was memorizing the shape of you.

He moved both of his hands to your camisole next, tugging it over your head before he moved onto your bra. You felt like you were in a dream. All of your late night fantasies were coming true. You almost felt like you needed to pinch yourself, just to be sure.

You moved your hands over to your chest, feeling very bashful suddenly. You’d never had anyone see yourself in this manner before, so exposed. You gulped down your own embarrassment, turning your eyes away so you couldn’t see him.

“Don’t be shy,” He grinned as he pressed your hands back down to your sides, “You’re stunning.” He mumbled as he pressed his rough hands against your hips. He squeezed your flesh softly, keeping eye contact with you as he slowly fell to his knees.

You felt faint. You were sure you were going to pass out. His eyes were hazy and warm, now filled with what you thought might be lust. It made your thighs press together, your thoughts stalling as all you could do was focus on his movements instead.

“What are you doing?” You asked him nervously as you pulled your fingers into a nervous fist. Gator’s warm breath tickled against the small amount of skin that was covered.

“Wanna taste ya,” He mumbled as he slid his warm fingers against your thighs, “It’ll feel good. I promise.” He told you truthfully, raspily as he squeezed at your thighs. He pushed you back suddenly, knocking you onto your mattress with a squeal.

He moved just as quick, crawling onto the bed and knocking some of your stuffed animals off in the process. Your lips were pressed into a silent laugh, heart hammering against your ribs as he slowly pulled each of your white socks off of your feet. His lips dragged against your right ankle, peppering soft kisses against your skin before he let both of your legs drop onto the mattress.

You quickly tried to press your thighs back together, feeling fully exposed now. He stopped your movements just as quickly, fully exposing you as he rested against the mattress on his stomach. You couldn’t focus on how silly he looked resting against your fuzzy blankets in his dark clothing, your mind only taking in the dark look in his eyes.

He turned away from you slowly, nuzzling his cool nose against your warm thigh before he pressed his pink lips against your upper thighs. You exhaled harshly, a tingle spreading up your body as your nipples suddenly grew hard.

Your body jolted at the feeling of his lips pressing against your sensitive clit. A warm, fuzzy feeling spread through your body as your head rolled back onto the pillows. You gasped, eyes fluttering as he slowly peppered his lips across your wet folds and clit.

You crooned, holding your hands above your head as Gator took a slow lick of your pussy. He gripped a hold of your thighs, keeping them forced apart as he lapped his tongue against your clit. He rolled his tongue against you languidly, creating more waves of pleasure through your body.

“So sweet,” He groaned against your cunt, his lips dragging against your folds as he spoke. You whimpered, your fingers twitching together at the need to press them through his slicked back hair, “You’ve got a tasty little cunt.” He praised, pulling away this time to look at you. Your eyes turned down in slow motion, looking at the line of drool that connected his lips to your pussy.

“Okay,” You moaned softly, unsure of how you were supposed to respond to that. He laughed slowly, flicking his tongue across his wet lips before he dipped down between your legs again, “Oh.” You whined slowly, back arching as his lips fell to your wet cunt again.

He kissed at your pussy, lapped at your folds and clit in a sloppy manner that left jolts of pleasure racing up and down your body. You wrinkled your fingers through your pillow case, holding onto it like a lifeline as he moved his tongue against your throbbing hole.

He licked languidly at your hole, tracing his tongue across it before he slid his tongue inside of you. Your mouth parted, a loud moan escaping at the sudden intrusion. It felt good, too good. It made your stomach clench and your toes curl as a bright light filled your eyelids.

“Gator,” You whined, unsure of what you were going to say as he continued to flick his tongue inside of your fluttering hole. He moved one hand away, moving between your legs as he dragged his way back up to your sensitive bud, “S’nice. Right there.” You spit out, grinding your hips up as his tongue flicked languidly against your clit again.

He slid a finger inside of you slowly, meeting the same movement as your hips. You cried out at the intrusion, your walls burning at the slow sensation of him curling his finger inside of you. You could feel your thighs beginning to tremble as you licked the drool from the corner of your lips.

He moved his finger inside of you slowly, allowing you to adjust while he moved his lips messily against your folds. His nose pressed against your clit, smearing your slick around as he sucked on your soft folds.

“Oh, oh,” You mewled in awe, toes curling as a strong sense of pleasure pressed heavily onto your stomach. You slowly felt the walls breaking down, leaving you squirming as Gator held you down tightly with his free hand, “God, oh God!” You cried out, fists clenched tightly into your pillows as you came roughly.

Gator groaned, his tongue flicked across your pussy rapidly as he tried to lick away the remnants of your cum. You whined, body vibrating from how sensitive you felt. He pulled away slowly, eyes dark and lips covered with your slick before he slowly crawled up the curve of your body.

He traced his thumb across your lips first, like he was memorizing the shape and curve of them before he moved his slick covered lips against your own. He kissed you slowly, gently as your heart continued to beat against your chest.

He tasted as sweet as the flavored vapes he smoked. You moved your mouth cautiously, trying not to focus on if you were kissing him correctly and instead on the throbbing that was growing between your legs again. Your thighs were still wet, matching the slippery feeling of his lips on yours.

His tongue slowly prodded against your mouth, parting your lips as he brought one hand up to your boob. He cupped your flesh softly, squeezing in his hand before he pinched at your nipple. You moaned at the sensation, feeling an unbearable amount of pleasure race to your clit again.

He twisted you onto your side, taking the opportunity to move you as he pleased as your mind was fuzzy with pleasure. He pushed one of your knees up towards your chest as he straddled himself over your other leg that was stretched out.

“Gator,” You breathed out softly, your chest rising and falling in quick spurts as he dragged his hands along your skin, “S’lot.” You admitted slowly, but didn’t want him to stop either. You watched with interest as he quickly shedded his clothes, barely giving you time to look at him.

You drank in as much as you could, from his broad shoulders to his muscular arms. You stared at his chest hair, noticing how it followed a simple line down to the rest of his body.

“It’s okay,” He mumbled softly, leaning forward to drag his lips against yours slowly. You melted against his touch, your body shivering underneath his touch, “I’ll go slow.” He promised, settling back just a bit as he wrapped his long fingers around his cock.

You sat up a bit, eyes curious as you looked at the way he fit in his hand. A shaky gasp rolled off his tongue as you took in how long, how thick he was. You’d never had something that big inside of you before.

You felt odd speaking it out loud, but you thought his cock was pretty. His tip was a nice pink, precum leaking from his slit as he slowly jerked his hand up and down the length of his cock. Your eyes quickly drifted over his veins, the way his cock curved and the soft amount of hair it rested upon.

“Just relax,” He mumbled, glancing up to you as he dragged his tip between your folds. You nodded your head, your mind feeling fuzzy as you fell back onto the pillows. You took a deep breath, soothing away your nerves as he slowly pressed his tip inside of your fluttering cunt, “S’alright.”

Your eyebrows knitted together at the intrusion, your lungs stalling as you’d never felt so filled before. It wasn’t quite as painful as you imagined it would be. Your walls fluttered around his cock, stretching in a subtle burn as he filled you.

“Oh,” You sighed softly, unsure if it was a gasp of pain or of pleasure, “Burns.” You managed at last, feeling like your lungs weren’t working. A soft groan left his lips as he leaned forward, his forehead fell onto yours as he reached between your legs.

“You’re doing so good,” He praised you softly, his lips kissing against the corner of your mouth as his thumb pressed against your sensitive bud. He rolled his thumb softly, pressing down on it gently as a spark of pleasure traveled up your spine, “You’re taking my cock so good, such a good little whore.”

You shivered underneath his touch, from his words as white hot pleasure traveled up your spine and down to your toes. His body felt too hot against your skin, his breathing coming out rugged against your cheek. You tilted your mouth up towards his, capturing your lips together in a sloppy motion.

He rubbed at your sensitive clit, making your body jerk as he filled his cock deep inside of you. You gasped against his lips, his tongue flicking over your mouth as your walls clenched around him. He groaned softly as he pressed down on your clit a little harder, making you cry out and your body jerk.

“Fuck,” He cursed as he pulled his head away from yours, his mouth parted in bliss as he stared at where your bodies were connected. You whimpered a little, your eyes fluttering at the way his cock was throbbing inside of your sore walls, “So pretty. You’re doing so good.” He reassured you again as he pressed his lips against the curve of your cheek.

You focused on the way his lips moved against your hot skin, how he peppered kisses and slowly licked his saliva away with his tongue. You pressed your hand against his sweaty back, keeping him in place as you adjusted around his thick girth.

“Feels good,” You whimpered, your hands mindlessly wandering down his spine on their own as you savored the curve of his cock pressing against the spot that made your eyes roll in the back of your head, “Oh God.” Gator groaned, his fingertips digging deep into your flesh as he pushed your leg further against your chest.

“Jesus,” He groaned as his tongue fell against his bottom lip, his eyes hooded as he stared down at where his cock was disappearing inside of your wet cunt, “You’re such a good little whore, taking my cock so well.” He grunted, shifting back just enough that only the head of his cock remained in you. You whimpered, sure that he was going to pull away before he filled you in a rough motion again.

You crooned at the feeling of being filled again so suddenly, your walls sore as you clamped down around his throbbing cock. Your clit was vibrating as loud moans rolled off of your tongue, bouncing off of the walls of your room.

“Right there,” You begged him, your eyes fluttering in awe as you felt the tip of his cock pressing against your bundle of nerves. It made you gasp, your body stalling underneath him as he continued to drag his cock in and out of your wet walls, “Oh God, please, please.” You begged him, unsure of what you were asking but knowing that you didn’t want him to stop.

“Are you my whore?” He asked huskily against your ear, flicking his tongue out against your earlobe. You whined at the sensation, your body shivering underneath him as he pressed his sweaty body closer against yours. His flesh melted against your own, the sound of your bodies meeting filling the room.

“Yes,” You cried out, not caring if you were signing your life away. You just didn’t want him to stop, didn’t want him to pull out of you. You liked the feeling of your bodies connected, of his cock throbbing inside of your wet walls, “I’m your whore.” A whine stalled in your chest, stalling as Gator crashed his lips against yours again. His thrusts were deep and rough, jerking your body roughly across the mattress as he moved.

He kissed you harshly, stealing the air from your lungs as he continued to drag his cock in and out of your fluttering walls. You clamped down around him, your pussy squelching at his rough movements. You cried out against his mouth, quickly licking away his drool from his parted mouth.

Your body shook, stomach clenching again as you came around his cock. You mewled, your head falling roughly into your pillows as you clung a hold of his wrist for dear life. You could feel yourself spasming, your ears ringing as you moaned into your pillow.

He groaned, his chin falling into the crook of your shoulder as his thrusts became rougher and faster. He huffed, his movements stalling as he pressed himself deep inside of you. The sound that left his mouth made your stomach curl again, your pussy clench as his spunk painted your walls.

He fell forward, groaning as his hair slowly fell to the side of his face. You breathed in the scent of him, eyes blinking as you wished to get a better look at him. You whimpered as he slowly moved, shifting his pulsing cock inside of you as he pressed his lips against yours in a sweet peck.

You melted, sure that you were slipping into the mattress as he grazed his lips against your own for just a fleeting second. He pulled away then, smiling gently as he brushed his thumb across your cheek. You faltered, wishing you had something to say before he sat up on his knees and slowly pulled his cock from your cunt.

You whimpered at the loss, wishing that he’d stay inside of you the rest of the night. Your heart began to beat slowly, nearly defeated as you watched him stand. Your eyes drifted across his back, moving quickly as you drew in the constellations across his back. You wanted to move forward, to use your fingers to count and trace the moles on his skin.

You were quiet as he rummaged for his pants, sure that he was about to leave without another word before he joined you in your bed again. You stifled a sound of surprise, watching as he took a deep inhale from his vape. He offered it to you next, but you quickly shook your head. You weren’t supposed to smoke.

“Can we do this again?” You asked him bashfully, your tongue twisting awkwardly in your mouth at how nervous you felt. He chuckled as he turned towards you, wrapping his lips around his vape once again.

“‘Course,” He breathed out, a cloud of smoke tickling your nose as he spoke, “I gotta teach you all the ropes.” He mumbled, pulling his vape down just enough to kiss away your worries.

#Gator Tillman #Gator Tillman x reader #Gator Tillman x reader smut #Gator Tillman smut #Gator Tillman x fem!reader #Gator Tillman x fem!reader smut

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barzzal · 2 months

Text

call me crosby → interlude p.2

summary: Young, reckless, and rash, an unplanned pregnancy causes a massive rift in your relationship with then, cup-hungry 27 year-old Sidney Crosby. As he gets caught up in his own childish and selfish ways, confused to what was once certain, he lets you struggle alone. His absence reasons a miscarriage scare that leads you to end the relationship. Years after losing you, having to live a life that’s surrounded with the families his friends have built through the years embodies his greatest regret. Now with three cups and tons of awards at his disposal, Sid is given a chance to right his wrongs and win what was once the biggest loss of his life.

pairing: sidney crosby x fem!reader gen. warnings: language and theme, co-parenting, mentions of pregnancy & false miscarriage, sexual/suggestive themes, 18+ ch. warnings: angst, language, swearing, mentions of blood genre: hockey rpf, fluff, angst, kid-fic, exes to lovers length: series; 9.3k masterlist: the barn, series masterlist

note: the interlude is a two-part chapter dedicated for what happened between sidney and reader in the past and why everything had to happen ;) pls pls tread lightly as these chapters contain sensitive themes. you may stop reading at any time should it make you feel uncomfortable. this is just a reminder that you are still responsible for what you consume. all that aside, happy reading <3 (gif used: mine)

disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. teasers, interviews, events, and the like that are included in the series are purely made for fictional purposes and do not/should not represent any of the names involved in real life. please proceed with caution.

Your mind wanders to the not so distant past while you do your night time routine. You blankly stare at yourself absent-mindedly as you lather lotion on your hands and arms.

It’s crazy how madly and deeply in love you and Sidney were a week ago.

You can’t help but reminisce about the reckless night you and Sidney shared. The very night that you think might have led to such a life-altering event.

“Babe?” you hear Sidney call for you from the bathroom.

You have just gotten home from an annual fundraising ball that the Pittsburgh Penguins hold to support the foundations it is in partnership with. As the captain, and arguably the face of the franchise, Sidney’s hectic night also meant having to always stand wearing your impractical heels and a smile that has to be genuine enough– but not so much as to come off pretentious and inauthentic.

While all of the actions you’ve shown were true, it was evident that the pressure to remain perfect was taxing. To say that you were tired would even be an understatement.

You feel a hint of hunger but even that won’t stand against your need for a good night’s sleep.

As you lazily take off your earrings from one ear to another, you hum as a cue for Sidney to let you know whatever it was that’s going on in his mind.

“How does this thing work exactly?”

Baffled about the query, you lay your jewelry pieces flat onto the tray, and aim for the bathroom. You were still wearing the dress that elegantly clothed you for the entire night. It was a dress that Sidney had picked out himself. A dress that he knew would compliment and suit his girl just right.

The sliding doors of the bathroom were already half-open thereby causing you to see Sidney’s reflection in the mirror; his brows furrowed in total and utter bewilderment.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, meeting his eyes in the mirror once he hears your voice.

He turns to face your way and in his hand rests what seemed like a tiny, but regular, container of skin moisturizer you have been meaning for him to try.

“You watch me get ready for bed for years now, honey.” you idly tell him.

Sidney recognizes the exhaustion in your words, enjoying how your lazy voice register in his ears. He smiles.

“I don’t want to risk doing it wrong,” he explains. “I looked up this brand on the internet and I must say, it costs a lot for such a tiny bottle.”

You roll your eyes as you take the product from him. “It costs a lot because it also takes a lot to rescue,” you pause for effect as you playfully point at him, “that face.”

The two of you chuckle softly. Bare feet and about to get unready.

“Have you washed your face?” you ask him. Sidney nods.

“Alright. What else have you done?”

He shrugs, glancing over to his side of the sink. You’ve laid out a few products for him. Some of them he’d already gotten used to and some that he’s still figuring out. Sidney tells you about the few products he has initially applied.

“Could you please help me?” he asks in that voice he only uses with no one else but you.

You sigh dreadfully, eyes already closed with how tired you were. You lean your head on his shoulder, mumbling your words.

“But I’m so sleepy.” you let him know. After having a few seconds of rest, you add, “I haven’t even gotten my makeup off yet.”

Sidney knows you were beat. Even if he doesn’t tell you, he truly appreciates the great lengths you go for him. You don’t have to do it, but you did it all just the same for as long as it involved Sidney.

“I’ll take it off,” he volunteers.

“Pfft.” you snicker a foolish laugh. “I bet I can get a goal past you faster than you can learn how to take my makeup off. Properly.”

“Come on,” he says, putting his hands on your waist, giving it a good squeeze. “You got to at least let me try. I know you’re tired.”

You give him a smile but reply in a commanding tone, “Promise you’ll do it like I do?”

Sidney nods, ready to do after your bidding. “Religiously.”

Once you agree, you let him gently lift you up the counter next to the sink so as to let you be in a comfortable position. By the looks of it, the odds of you falling asleep were high and Sidney just couldn’t bear letting you stand on your feet after you’ve murdered them with those ridiculously high heels.

“Nooo,” Sidney coos. “Don’t fall asleep.”

With closed eyes, you softly chuckle. “Mkay.”

He glances over to the rack where you keep your nighttime essentials and asks, “What do I do first?”

Sidney willfully follows every instruction you give him as you patiently guide him throughout the process. His endless musings, in the hopes of keeping you awake, have evidently worked despite your exhausted state.

You didn’t want to drift off anyway. You were in total bliss feeling his touch; soft with care – delicate. Sidney’s fingers graze onto your skin ever so lightly as he applied every product. He did what he had promised you. He did your nighttime routine religiously.

His movements were put to a stop. You hear a soft clink of the product onto the tray; a sign that he was through.

Before you get to open your eyes, Sidney leans towards you. He then lightly pressed his lips against yours so as to give you a peck.

He plants a couple more before he eventually breaks away.

“Done.” He says enthusiastically, seeing you with a wide smile on your face.

“Yeah?” you briefly open your eyes, Sidney coming into full view. You see him half-naked with only his pajama bottoms on. His chest was rose-colored; perfectly in contrast with the shade of his stubble.

You take a quick glance at yourself in the mirror so you could get a peak of what he’s done. Huh. Pretty good.

You turn your head back and face him wearing a tight-lipped smile.

“Like it?” he asks. “How did I do?”

“You did fine.” you kid.

Sidney pretends to be appalled. “Fine? Just fine?”

“Uh-huh.” you tease. “Not bad for a first timer.”

“A’right.” he says with a smirk. “I know I could’ve done a lot worse than a ‘not bad’ so I’ll take it.”

“I’m just playing with you.” you tell him. “You did a good job.”

You open your arms, asking for a hug. Obligingly, he leans in and lets you wrap your arms around his nape. Your hands then found their way onto his face. Your fingers graze over rough stubble just as your eyes meet Sidney’s.

With your thumb landing on his lips, you gently pull Sidney’s face closer so you could lock him in a kiss. Gentle and sweet. Passionate despite being done swiftly. You feel each other’s warmth– with your mouth and your bodies pressed so close together.

Once the two of you break away, you say, “Thank you for taking care of me.”

His left hand removes some errant strands that lazily fashioned the side of your face. The other makes its way on the small of your back, pulling you even closer.

Before the two of you dive into another kiss, Sidney says, “Thank you for letting me.”

𖥸

When Sidney asked you to move in with him, the first thing he did was to start a major renovation of his home. You were not a fan of it because of the obvious reason; it was unnecessary. But alas, Sidney had his ways. He told you it was not just his home anymore. It was yours. “Ours.” was what he said.

It didn’t matter where the two of you were. Sidney had countless away games and series, and you had your fair share of business meetings on your end. But no matter where the two of you were, regardless of being away, your togetherness was kept by the home you have built with him. After all, Sidney’s home was just a massive block of building situated on acres and acres of land, standing still and lonely.

Then came you.

He stripped his home clean when you moved in. Little by little, you were able to incorporate yourself into his home. You had a say in every change; what has to go and what can stay. What paint colors to use and what kind of furniture he should get. Sidney did nothing but say "yes" the entire time. He wanted you to feel at home as much as he did. Neither the place nor the big still and lonely building did matter because he had you. For Sidney, you were home.

From the gorgeous outdoor landscape, classic hardwood floors, to high and white ceilings, Sidney wanted every corner of his home – inside and out, to have a touch of you. Only you.

It was his futile attempt at a romantic gesture. He wanted to be reminded of you each time he was in it. Because just like what he said, no matter what happens, wherever he may be, you were the person he knew he’s always going to come home to.

Looking back, it hasn’t occurred to you just how high and white the ceilings were. How distant everything seemed. Without Sidney, all of it seemed dull and ordinary. You just did not realize it until you spent the last several hours staring at that boring ceiling, lying in an all too cold bed that has seen the best and the worst of you and Sidney.

In spite of your still heavy and tired eyes due to all the crying, you find yourself reaching for your phone yet again. Maybe this time you’d get an answer.

“Please pick up.” you utter as you try to numb yourself with the endless ringing of the line. It was getting really late. Even with what happened earlier, you still wanted to hear his voice. That way you’d know he was okay. That way you’d know he was coming home.

With time feeling like eternity, you managed to give it some thought. Maybe it was your fault. Maybe he was right. You did attack him; one way or another. You could have told him some other time when it felt right or when neither of you were tired. Maybe that way, he could have reacted differently.

The weight you feel in your chest must have been incomparable to how he felt. It came to him unsuspectedly. The least you could have done was lay it all down easy. But no, you chose to put him in a difficult position where he has to choose between his present and the future. An ambush that was undeniably uncalled for.

Maybe, at some point, you forgot Sidney had a life where you didn’t belong. Maybe that was where you went wrong. Sidney had a life. You made him yours.

Your hand travels down to your stomach so as to remind you of what life already is – what life will be. Sidney knew you were carrying his child and the first thing he did was leave. For somebody else, it would have been their cue to go. But here you were, instead of feeling all the right things you should be feeling, still waiting for him.

If your calculations were right, it was another hour before Sidney finally came home. You turned away from the bedroom door and pretended to be asleep. He was quiet but his presence said otherwise. There wasn’t much movement being that Sidney was stoned at the door looking across the room. Looking at you.

Out of all the years that the two of you have spent together, this was the first time he actually did not feel like coming home.

Instead of the comfort he’s always felt each time he opened the door to your shared bedroom, Sidney felt unsure. It was as if he almost did not want to come home at all. Because you, who once brought him peace, was the very person who handed onto him a havoc served on a silver plate.

Sidney no longer minded the fact that he knew you waited for him. He knew you were still awake yet the first thing he chose to do was head towards the bathroom. The clear cut sound of the door coming to a close sends shivers down your spine. You try blinking it away, but the tears just start coming.

When the bathroom door opens, you squeeze your eyes shut knowing what’s to come next. It was a while before Sidney decided to come to bed. You feel it shift with the weight of having Sidney in it.

Normally, his arms would magically snake its way to your body and lock you in an embrace. That was the only way for Sidney to get a comfortable sleep. Now, he stares at the ceiling for a good minute or so before he shifts and looks at the back of your head.

He did not want to say a thing though he felt like he needed to.

It was wrong for him to feel this way. He knew that. But now that he’s conflicted, Sidney knows he’s going to have to give himself some time. Perhaps, even some time away. From this house. From you.

He takes a deep breath; long but subtle. The one you make when you’re trying to calm yourself before diving off a cliff. Sidney wishes he could come out of his. To be able to swim back to his surface. Because as hard as it was to admit, you were drowning him.

“Will you ever change your mind?” he breaks the ice and asks.

Despite being nervous to what his answer might be, you return the question.

“Will you change yours?”

He doesn’t say a word. And with that, you knew Sidney’s silence was his answer.

You do the same.

Though there was something he did want to let you know.

I don’t want to have to lose you.

But instead, he says, “I don’t want to lose you.”

You stifle a sob as a tear meets your pillow.

You didn’t answer. You didn’t answer not because you didn’t want to. You didn’t answer because you were afraid that you couldn’t think of any.

You hate to think you’d have to lose one another over the very thing that was supposed to make the two of you whole. The truth is, you were scared about so many things. You just didn’t know you’d have to be scared about losing Sidney.

𖥸

A few days have passed since you and Sidney got to talking. It was barely one being that all you’ve done was fight. It was already more than just an argument and time has been nothing but cruel in letting you know that the sudden change you see in him now is his way of telling you that the both of you are not and will never be on the same page.

Sidney chose to drown himself more in his Summer commitments. The last thing you heard he was off signing brand deals and staying a lot longer at the club. Now, while he’s busy playing in between putts and pucks, you’ve gone to another appointment and have been taking good care of yourself and your baby to the best of your abilities.

You were at the task of putting away the lillies you have bought on your way home when you hear Sidney’s car enter the driveway. It would not be long before he opens the door. You have not really thought of what to say to him. As much as you try to understand where he’s coming from, you badly hope he does the same thing to you and simply honor what’s already on the table.

The sound of keys being tossed onto the bowl rings throughout the hallway; commencing Sidney’s arrival. You see him enter the room in his usual golfing attire, lugging his equipment behind him.

You have not felt the thick air of uncertainty for a while and you realize it was because he was not around. You offer him a tight-lipped smile once you meet his eyes.

“Hey, you.” you call for him in a tone that lets him know you were open to talk should he want to discuss things with you.

Sidney declines your invitation through his own, “Hi.”

You feel a pang in your chest so you try and make up for it by putting the rest of the mess sitting on the island away. Sidney, on the other hand, sees what you’re trying to do. Nevertheless, he ignores it. Instead, he makes his way around you, heading towards the fridge to get a drink.

You give up.

“Is this really how you want things to be when you come home?” you ask.

Sidney sighs, letting your words sit in the air. He lets the sound of the water hitting the glass mock you as an answer. You watch him drink its entirety with a stern face, unbothered to even look you in the eye.

A month ago you can’t even picture him behaving like this. Time is fickle, so they say. But it is just as unpredictable and brutal.

“Sid,” you call, failing to mask the sound of your voice nearly breaking. Of course, you were desperate to have a decent conversation with him. You miss him. And even though you know you would not change your mind anymore, the best thing you can do is to at least have the chance to change his.

“Don’t you have anything to say to me?” you reach for his hand to hold it.

For a moment, you see his eyes soften. He looks down on your hands. You were scared that he was going to dismiss you but much to your relief, Sidney held your hand instead. He tenderly rubbed the back of your hand whilst he tried to find the words to utter.

This was one of the things you miss. Sidney’s touch. He’s always had a way with it. Nothing really mattered for as long as Sidney held you. You felt so secure – safe from anything that may come your way. For as long as you were with Sidney, you needn’t have to feel scared.

Just when you feel a sliver of hope, you see a somber expression in his face the moment you look back at him.

“I don’t have anything new to say.” he nearly apologizes.

Disappointment now printed all over yours, you choose to let him know of what kept you busy.

“I went to Claire and got a sonogram.” you tell him, forcing out a smile.

You opted not to get one the first time despite Claire’s advice. You wanted to have Sidney with you in that room. But now, it was painfully clear that it might never happen. Not to mention the fact that his child is continuing to grow regardless of what he had to say about it.

Sidney gladly lets your hand go so as to caress his nape. When he falls silent, you continue nonetheless.

“The baby is healthy.” you add.

Shrugging the latter off, he asks, “What about you?”

He still cared about you. At least that was there.

Is it really too much to wish he’d feel the same way for his child?

“I’m fine.” you answer, uninterested with your own well-being.

Sidney says nothing else but nods, dismissing whatever you still have to say concerning his unborn child.

“Won’t you at least see it?” you try for yet another time.

Sidney’s jaw clenches but he chooses to let it go. He didn’t come home to fight.

He pays you a meaningful look, devoid of the fact that the said sonogram was already pinned on the fridge along with a few old polaroids that the two of you intentionally kept for each other’s sake.

“I told you, I don’t have anything new to say.” he repeats himself. “And I still won’t even if I see it.”

It was clear that the two of you were trying to make ends meet. But Sidney was not trying hard enough.

“Then what are we doing here?”

You were offended, of course. You were utterly hurt by his appalling insensitiveness. Sidney did not give even an inch of care but that shouldn’t justify acting too much of an ass about it.

“Am I supposed to wait for you to change your mind before I continue carrying your child?” you continue, “I’m pretty sure pregnancy doesn’t work that way, Sid.”

Do you take him for a fool? He thinks.

You touched a nerve, causing Sidney to lose himself again.

“Who even told you I wanted one?” he retorted.

What does he think would happen after sex? A gala? A dinner party?

You need not stress on the obvious. Besides, doing so would just take you miles down the surface you’ve barely even scratched. Dealing with a closed-minded Sidney and piling on his share of negativity would just be counterproductive.

“I’m not changing my mind, Sidney.” you firmly state.

The time Sidney was gone did not make you want the things he wanted. It just made you certain – so sure, that you want nothing else but this baby. And you know there was no other way out.

“Are you with me on this or not?”

He scoffs at the thought of you making him choose.

“You’d really go that far, wouldn’t you?”

“That far?” you scorn.

“Sidney, that ‘far’ we happened to be discussing right now, is a life together!” you stress, pointing a finger at his chest. “So, yes. I am willing to go that far.”

Sidney could not find the words to save his own cause. But regardless of the problem he still hopes you can set aside, he knows that you will eventually come to your senses and choose the life that you were already living with him.

However, the wounds were barely even healed and here you were, deciding to pick at it again.

“I told you to come back only when you’re ready to be an adult about this and face it with me.” you order. “I don’t need you starting a fight because you know I will never change my mind.”

“Well, you know what? Neither will I.” Sidney shakes his head, adamant to bow down in favor of your will.

“There. I said it.” he adds, thinking of the night you told him about your pregnancy.

He sees your eyes watering and he knew it would be enough for you to pull him back in. But this wasn’t like the other times. You wanted different things and he did too. Maybe that’s how it should be. Maybe it isn’t worth prolonging what has clearly ended.

“You’re right.” he says, “I shouldn’t have come home in the first place.”

Suffice it to say that he did not deserve to feel half of what you have been feeling, you hold him back once he starts retreating.

“W-Where are you going?”

“Geno’s.” He shortly answers. “I cannot be on board with something you chose to decide all on your own.”

You fall silent as it was not the response you were expecting, especially not from Sidney. So instead of speaking for you and his unborn child, you watch him leave once again.

𖥸

Sidney made sure he was kept preoccupied for a reason. It was evident that you were making him choose. And despite him denying, he is certain that regardless of the path he’d be taking, you’ll choose to have the baby and leave the life you have already built with him.

He hated the possibility that you might leave him for something that was unplanned. Something that could have been prevented by a birth control shot. But no, it didn’t. It frustrates him that you won’t take the only ‘out’ he’s got to offer. It frustrates him even more to know that regardless of your choice, he just could not see himself being tied up to a commitment he knows he will never want.

Yes, he may have wanted and hoped for a life with you but that was it. Only you. He did not need anything more. On top of it all, he’s scared. He’s scared because he knows that he almost hated you for it.

You have reached an impasse and you and Sidney both know it. It was just a matter of who’s going to be the one to break it to the other. He doesn’t want to be the one to do so, hence why he chose to leave.

Sidney was a man that loved calculation. Everything had to be precise. Otherwise meant having to give a shot at failure. That was how he felt for the majority of his career. He did excel at school but it did not challenge him. It took less energy and made him less driven. He wanted to acquire so much and be so much more within so little time. Wishful thinking and ambitions aside, he made everything he wanted happen.

He just wishes he could figure this one out before it’s too late.

Geno had his feet up on the couch, hands were glued on the game controller, yelling at the TV. It was another game that he had one of Anna’s nephews teach him. He had nothing to do for the entire day and he was a firm believer that wasting time was not really wasted – only if you make it count.

The count, if you dare ask, was a 2-4 game versus some kid on the internet. N8Dawg29.

Geno’s shouting at the TV was put to a stop when the doorbell rang.

“Lucky bastard.” he says, throwing the controller elsewhere.

Given the moment’s notice, he wasn’t expecting anyone. He had no idea who it was at the other side of the door. By the time he opens it, Sidney’s face comes into view.

“Sid!” he says his name with a giant smile on his face. The very same smile that was washed away by the look Sidney had on his. Lost.

What brings you here? was what he wanted to ask. But given the way his friend looked, it was apparent that something big was bothering him.

“What’s wrong?”

Concern traveled to Geno’s eyes when Sidney spoke of your name as an answer.

“Is she alright?” he asks him, opening the doors of his home wide for Sidney.

Sidney looks him in the eye and says, “She’s pregnant.”

As the brand new information hit him, Geno begins to realize that such news might not have been well-received by Sidney.

Uncomfortable and panicking as to how he’d make light of the situation, Geno asks, “Who’s the father?”

𖥸

Geno knew he needed reinforcement. N8Dawg29 would have to wait.

No, it wasn’t because Geno was losing. It was because he had more important things to tend to. Let him leave it at that.

Two crystal clear snifter glasses were pinched in between his fingers whilst his other hand held a bottle of premium scotch. He takes long strides across the room, making his way towards the lesser halves of the Pittsburgh Penguins’ three-headed monster.

The Captain had just broken the news to Kris, but unlike Geno, the defenseman took his time before sharing his two cents. Sidney spared no detail as to what happened. The truth that he didn’t want a baby, and the ugly truth that you did.

Just like how he looked in front of Geno, the expression on Sidney’s face was more than enough for Kris to deduce that congratulations weren’t in order. Despite him being happy to learn about your pregnancy, Kris just couldn’t let Sidney feel as though his feelings were invalid.

Quietly, whilst the biggest names of the team sat together, the weight of the elephant in the room was still borne solely by the team’s captain. Once each of them was able to take a sip from their respective glasses, it was Kris’ turn to ask a question.

“Does she really intend to keep the baby?”

Sidney nods as the alcohol runs down his throat.

“Actually, she made me choose,” he says. “–said she’d do it with or without me.”

“Are you going to let her?”

Sid meets Kris’ eyes, “What would you have me do?”

Kris takes a deep breath, conflicted as to whether he was in the position to say what’s in his mind. “You know it really doesn’t matter what I think. It is still your decision.”

“Of course, it matters.” Sidney counters. You’re a father. He wanted to add.

“What is it that you want to hear from me?”

“Just hit me. Tell me how you feel. I can handle it.”

“All right,” Kris puts down his glass thereafter clasping his hands. “Are you a hundred percent sure that you don’t want to be a Dad?”

Sidney finds it hard to answer. But he knows it wasn’t because there may be a slight chance that he would eventually want to be one. It was mainly because he knew saying it out loud would paint him in a bad light. He can’t afford to look selfish in front of his friends.

Kris questions, “So, you’re telling me you haven’t pictured yourself with a child? Ever?”

“Of course, I have. It’s just– I don’t want to have one now.” Sidney feels like a fool for saying it out loud. “You know I love kids. I have always been great with them. You know how I am with Alex, right?”

Sidney looks at Geno once he speaks but all Geno did was avoid his gaze. Even he didn’t favor how Sidney had to bring up his godson as an example.

Instead, Geno asks, “Then what is the problem?”

“I don’t think I can be a good father. I’m afraid I’d screw it up.” Sidney fiddles with his fingers.

“How can you be so sure you won’t be a good father?”

Sidney sighs, “How did you know?”

“No one knows they’re going to be a kick-ass Dad until they become one.” Kris says. “I couldn’t even figure out how diapers work the first time I had to do it, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to be a good Dad.”

Sidney runs a hand through his naked hair. “Maybe that’s it.”

Kris’ eyebrows furrow, waiting for Sidney to continue.

“How can I be good at something I don’t even want to become?” He looks at both of his greatest friends.

He continues. “It’s different with you and Catherine, Kris. You both wanted Alex. You both wanted kids. I’m not quite sure I can even begin to like the idea of having my own and yet, here it is – already tearing me and Y/N apart.”

Kris takes a deep breath.

With his words subtly laced with judgment, he says, “There is only one thing you can do.”

“What?” Sidney raises a brow.

“You have to let her go.” Kris continued. “Even if it means she’d have to do it alone.”

Kris respects Sidney for not wanting to have a child. He knows he’d have to understand where Sidney’s at in life. If he says he’s not ready to father a child, then so be it. But that does not give him a pass on being a selfish prick who he’d still have to understand in exchange for you and your unborn child’s sake. You were as important as Sidney is to Kris. He wouldn’t simply allow Sidney to take everything he could while you empty yourself for him.

Sidney asks yet another appalling query.

“Do you really think she’d choose it over me?”

Kris answers with a knowing look on his face, “Any responsible adult would choose a baby over you, Sidney.”

“Kris,” Geno puts his glass down, interfering.

“What does that supposed to mean?” Sidney takes offense.

“What did you expect me to say, anyway? Did you come here expecting I will coddle you? That Geno and I will help you be this irresponsible?” Kris tells him off, switching glances between the two of them.

Geno calls him in a definitive tone. “Tanger, stop.”

“No,” he stressed. “The two of you came to my house asking for my help. Here it is. I am a father. It’s one thing to feel unready for such an immense responsibility. I get that. But, it seems to me that you’re seeing this predicament as a game you just have to win no matter what. That kid isn’t even born yet and here you are, antagonizing him for breaking your relationship. That is your child, Sidney. Your child with the woman you claim to love. Even if you don’t want it, the least you could do is acknowledge that it’s here. It’s not just a thing you have to tolerate.”

Sidney and Geno fall silent.

Kris gathers himself and stands, aiming to leave the room.

“Let her go, Sidney.” he recapitulates. “You know you’re not the person she needs right now.”

𖥸

Three days have gone since Sidney left home. You haven’t gotten enough sleep since then. You’ve tried busying yourself tending to some house chores but none of it sufficed. Tiring yourself did not help in your pursuit to keep your mind from thinking of him.

As much as you wanted to, regardless of your doctor’s orders, you just can’t function bearing a magnitude as heavy as the one you’re facing with Sidney, hanging over your head. Here you are, barely functioning through a day, how could you possibly picture a life without him in it? It seems as though the past is now a blur. But then again, so is your future.

“Hey,” Cath’s voice soothes you from the other end of the line. “How are you?”

You almost forgot that you were on a call with Catherine.

Dissociated, you answer, “I’m… I’m doing okay.”

“Are you sure?” she asks for the hundredth time.

For the past three days, you’ve always answered that you were. Perhaps, it was for you to save face in the hopes of seeing Sidney again.

“No.” you finally admit despite Catherine already knowing, “I’m trying.”

“I know you are.” she says.

It seems as though she wanted to say something else but didn’t know how. Sidney, apart from staying with the Malkin’s has gotten the liking of dropping by her house to see her husband. It had been a day since the first time they had talked about you. Catherine knew little of it but she knew Kris didn’t exactly agree with whatever Sidney had told him.

Finally, she lets out a sigh, “Listen, Sidney’s here.”

Your heart skips a beat at the mere mention of his name. With a glint of hope in your voice, you ask to confirm. “He is? How is he?”

“Well, to be honest, not good.”

You find comfort at the thought. You might still have a relationship worth saving.

“Do you want to speak with him? I can–” Catherine offers but you’re quick to decline. Maybe some time to himself will do you both good.

“No don’t, Cath. Really, it’s fine.” you say with a sad smile. “Knowing that he’s there is enough.”

Silence sits on the line for a moment. You have always waited for Sidney to come home for the majority of your entire relationship. It didn’t matter if he was gone for days or even more than a week; he came home every time. That thought alone made the wait bearable. Now, the uncertainty of it all just makes the wait longer because unlike before, you’re no longer sure he’ll be coming home.

“Have you been taking care of yourself?” Cath pulls you back from your thoughts. The truth is, you haven’t.

“Have you been eating? What about your medications? Are you taking them?”

“Well, yeah. I am. I am taking them.” Sometimes on an empty stomach. Sometimes you miss it by an hour or two.

“Have you slept at all today?”

“I… Not really. I haven’t been sleeping well. There’s a lot going on in my mind.” you say as your eyes flicker to your surroundings. You then realize that the chaos in your mind has begun to translate into your home. Your sight eventually falls onto the load of dishes you’ve yet to tend to and others already cleaned waiting to be put away.

“I know. But you need to take it easy.” she reminds you. Catherine has a point.

“Please take care of yourself, Y/N.” you hear her sigh. “Your baby needs you.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it.” you earnestly tell her, adding that Claire’s stopping by in an hour or two. “A friend is coming over to keep me company tonight. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

However, just as you stand whilst talking, you feel a sudden surge of sharp pain in your abdomen.

You find yourself holding your lower stomach, unsure if it was something to be concerned about. Claire has informed you about the minor discomforts you were inevitably going to feel as your body adjusts to being pregnant, but was it supposed to hurt this much?

Catherine calls your name when you failed to answer.

“Yeah?”

You start to walk, aiming towards the kitchen. Your palm rests on your abdomen in an attempt to relieve yourself of the pain you were still feeling.

You hold the phone with a bit more pressure, you hear Cath ask, “How are you really? You know you can tell me stuff. I know it must have been tough having to deal with Sid.”

You sigh in an effort to alleviate the pain. Your eyes begin to water by the mention of his name. It has been tough for you. If Cath could see it, how come Sidney couldn’t?

“I miss him, Catherine.”

“I know you do.” she replies sympathetically. “How can I help you?”

“I don’t know.” you reply as your breath becomes labored. “Just– , please tell him to come home.”

You shut your eyes, pressing on your stomach once you reached the counter.

“We need him.”

𖥸

Was Kris right? Sidney was deep in thought as the paddle hit the ball from one end of the table to another. Geno hits it right back. Sidney does the same. They go on and on uttering no words but mere sighs and labored breathing as they play the game of table tennis.

Even if Kris was right, he knew it was still going to be Sidney’s decision. If you yourself could not convince him of the life he so clearly does not want, what makes Kris think he can do otherwise?

Despite the heated conversation, Sidney was still thankful Kris had a gym in his basement. He needed to clear his mind; something Geno understood. Sidney rarely gets upset, but most of the times he did, it was for the right reasons. Now, however, Geno wasn’t sure.

“What are you thinking, Sid?” Geno asks as he recovers after missing the ball.

Through his still labored breathing, Sidney puts the paddle down and briefly looks at him. He shakes his head, not devoid of a single thought - but overwhelmed by millions of it concerning: you.

When he doesn’t hear a word from Sidney, he finally asks, “It’s been three days. Don’t you want to come home?”

Sid plays it off with a grin, “Why? You’re getting sick of me?”

Geno rolls his eyes, “Yes, what are you gonna do about it?”

The two of them share a brief laugh, trying to lighten the weight bore by the topic of you.

“I don’t know, man.” This time, Sidney tells him the truth. He does not know. He had hoped to know by being away from you. But if asked the same question of whether he wants the life that you do, he still has the same answer.

Before he can say another word, Geno speaks as if he read Sidney’s mind.

“If it’s not entirely a yes, it’s a no, Sid.” he tells him. “You’ve got only two ways out of this. To stay or to leave.”

Sidney’s taken aback.

To stay would mean to live a life off his books; blind and unplanned. He’d be traversing an environment completely foreign and unknown. To have a child of his own. To have a family. Forever.

And on the other, to leave would mean to accept the gut-wrenching picture of a life without you; to embrace it through and through. And maybe hope that someday, it will eventually get easier.

Before Sidney could even answer, the Letangs came rushing into the room.

“We gotta go,” Kris announces with urgency, the key to his car already in his hand.

Sidney’s eyes fall onto a frantic Catherine who was clutching onto her phone - voice trembling as she says, “It’s Y/N.”

𖥸

Sidney has never feared anything in his life. Between having to leave home at such a young age and thereafter fighting the horrible concussions that cost him almost fifty games off of his career, he has never felt as frightened as he did when it was you who was already on the line. He admits that he was not in the right mind to deal with what you have told him, but the fear of losing you was so insurmountable that it made being a father seem less terrifying than he could have possibly imagined.

“Where is she?”

“Is she okay?”

“Have you seen Claire?”

Wanting to breathe became obsolete once Sidney chose to speak all aforementioned. He held Cath’s shoulder, almost shaking her, in an attempt to get an answer.

“Claire took care of everything. She’s fine.” she says, relaying what Claire had told her.

He lets go a sigh of relief. He runs his fingers through his evidently unkempt hair – and asks, “What about the baby?”

If the record was right, it was the first time he’s ever asked about your baby.

Despite how Cath felt about Sidney, she did not simply have the answer.

Worriedly, he walks past her and looks through the small window of the lounge door. He sees a handful of people, mostly visitors. Sure – there were doctors going from one side of the room to the other wearing their coats and clipboards in hand, talking. Always talking. Giving out information, whether well-received or heart piercing. It was a whole ‘nother job that seemed so ordinary. A whole lot more than what is perceived.

Sidney wanted to go to you. He wanted to find you. But how can he do that if doing so would mean causing more risks than he’s already had? Because even if it was the least of his worries, Sidney could not possibly handle more attention from the crowd.

It was exactly the ugliness you had to bear being with Sidney. Being with him meant having to consider who he was inside and outside of the rink; that your personal life is inevitably tangled with the one he had with his skates on. There was no double life with Sidney. He has successfully integrated the two so he gets to live both. As for you, you were the tide that went along with it — the tide that kept his boat afloat.

𖥸

Claire hoped she wouldn’t be spending the night in the hospital. But then came you.

She was glad she still had the spare key you’ve given her to your home. Between scrambling to find it amidst her million other keys and finding you sitting on the cold floor of the kitchen, holding your stomach, with blood apparent in your clothing, Claire was just glad that she got to you the soonest you needed her to.

“My baby–” was the first thing you told her as you tried speaking in between sobs.

You looked at her, tears running down your cheeks, once she had approached you.

“It’s alright. I got you. I got you.” she repeatedly told you.

Her eyes fell onto where your hand was. Truth be told, she has never been this scared in her life. It was crazy how she simultaneously knew and didn’t know what to do. It was you. Your safety and the life of the child you’ve yet to birth, placed unexpectedly in her hands. Despite all that, she was certain that she’s not about to lose anyone. Neither you nor your baby.

“Please don’t pass out.” she murmured more to herself as she held your face. “Stay with me, alright? You guys are gonna be okay. You’ll be okay.”

Claire stayed true to her word and took care of you. You were settled in a private room, resting. It was evident that all the emotional and physical turmoil you’ve been trying to suppress has finally caught on and got the better hold of you. Scarily so, despite the night’s ordeal, you were now safe. You and the baby.

You were asleep when Claire left you in your hospital room. She still has a few of your documents that needed sorting out. Well, that and having to deal with the man – with both of his hands placed on his waist, pacing – waiting for her at the end of the lobby.

“How is she?” Sidney asks Claire the moment he was within hearing distance.

She ignores him. Instead, she goes inside the waiting room and acknowledges the presence of Catherine alongside Kris and Evgeni.

“How is she?” Catherine shoots the same question.

Claire initially answers with a nod then proceeds, “She’s going to be fine. We just need to let her get some rest.”

Cath nods as well as the others.

“And the baby?”

Claire doesn’t give a definite answer.

“We’re still waiting for several results.”

“W-Why?” Sidney jumps in the conversation. “Did something happen to the baby?”

Unfortunately, as much as Claire wanted to hit Sidney’s face, she couldn’t. She wasn’t in the hospital just because she’s your friend. Simply put, duty calls. And right now, Sidney demands her of it.

“I am not at liberty to disclose anything at the moment, but I assure you, we are doing the best we can.” she tells Sidney despite not meeting his eyes.

“Will you at least let me see her?” He pleads.

“I don’t think so.” she states firmly.

“What– Why?” Sidney asks quite defensively. “I am her emergency contact person!”

“No, you are not.” she informs him. “You cannot see her files because you are no longer her emergency contact person. I am now. You are neither her next of kin nor are you married. And if you are present as any partner should have, you would know.”

Sidney scoffs, “That’s bullshit.”

“You are not my patient, Sid. I am in no way responsible for disclosing information Y/N clearly doesn’t want to share with you.”

“You don’t expect me to believe that, do you?” Sidney complains.

“I have nothing to say to you.” Claire tells him.

“I can’t believe how unprofessional you can be!” Sidney exclaims when Claire continues to ignore his requests.

“No,” She looks at him for a moment, gets back to reading your form on her clipboard, and meets Sid’s eyes once again. “It’s the consequences.”

“You’re unbelievable.”

The Letangs come in between the two to mitigate the tension, “We’ll just wait for as long as we need to.”

“Why? What’s the plan, Sid? Huh? Isn’t this what you wanted? To spend your years like Jagr?”

“Don’t you fucking go there.” He warns.

Even more appalled by Sidney’s reaction, Claire grins and shrugs shamelessly before walking away.

“I think I just did.”

𖥸

Sidney did not exactly know how he did it and how fast he had done it, but as soon as Claire had her hands full, he went straight to grab the brass metal of the door knob leading to your room.

Quietly, as he spared one last glance of his surroundings, he turns it and opens the door.

It was perhaps a good thing that your bed was not adjacent to the doorway. Sidney could not fully comprehend the things wrecking his brain all at once. Although he knew of one thing: he finally gets to see you.

It was indeed a good thing that your bed was not adjacent to the doorway. Your mind drifts right off the tip of your finger as you look outside your window. The fog was so even and misty that it made the entire window a blur. The only thing you could see were the steady white lights of that huge corner block building fashioned by the noise of cars driving off to a better place than the four corners of your hospital bedroom.

Judging by the scenery, you could tell that it was well past midnight.

As you lie with your still aching heart, you find yourself grazing your stomach ever so gently as if you were holding something– someone, much more meaningful than your entire being.

If only he was–

“Hey.”

He is.

Sidney had both of his hands resting on his side alienated by the thick air he usually causes. It was a battle as to whether to go near you or stay still. But judging by the way you looked at him so strangely, he knew he didn’t have any other choice.

You watch him inch himself closer until he is already at the foot of the bed. He looked unusually small for a man of his stature. Your eyes did not miss a thing. You saw the hesitant look he had coupled with the urgency that is perhaps all too late to be paraded before your eyes.

Despite noticing all that, in Sidney’s eyes, you did nothing but look. He was scared not because it made him uneasy. He was scared because you have never looked at him that way.

There are so many things to be said but Sidney was at a loss for words. He wanted to ask how you were; how the baby was. He wanted to say how sorry he felt for leaving and how dumb it was to let you suffer when he could’ve been there like he should have. He wanted to let you know how badly he prays and hopes that you’ll find it in yourself to forgive him. But mostly, he just really wished that you’d still want to make it work and build that family – with him.

How could he say all that when it feels like you were miles away beyond his reach despite him already holding your hand?

Finally, as though the words have only occurred to him, he asks, “How are you?”

He looks back at you as intently as he thought you did. However, your eyes mirrored his, unwillingly. Sidney takes the empty seat beside your bed; never letting go of his hold on you.

Soon enough, you look away and aim your attention onto his hands. Both of his palms embraced your hand oh so desperately, pleading a prayer only he could hear.

“I’m sorry.” he says, eyes now misty with tears. “It’s all my fault. I should’ve been with you. I’m sorry. I was selfish. Please please forgive me.” he adds, pressing wet and much more desperate kisses on your hand.

He waited for you to say something in return but he received nothing. You looked at him exactly the way you did when he arrived; sparing him a blink or two whenever your eyes got tired.

It was the kind of silence Sidney wasn’t accustomed to. It was the kind of silence he never knew.

Until now. Until you.

His voice breaks when he decides to speak yet again.

“Please say something.” he desperately asks.

But you don’t.

You just lie in the same cold bed, letting him hold your hand.

Afraid of what has become you, Sidney masks his fear with a wide smile albeit it didn’t do any better. It just made him feel worse. Maybe even a thousand times more than he’s already had.

“Mon amour…” he calls you. “Please talk to me.”

You blink and look away.

Sorrow now filling the void he feels from within, Sidney sees your hand that was still resting atop your stomach.

For the first time, he then dared to ask, “How… How's the baby?”

Sidney sees you look at him yet again as if to finally acknowledge his presence in the room.

However, the words you spoke next nearly made him wish you did not bother at all.

“There is no baby, Sidney.”

You spit the words like vile coursing from your throat; voice hoarse from the eventful night.

“W-What?” he stammers, evidently shocked at your uninhibited way of revealing such news.

“There is no baby.” you repeat just as you remove your hand from his hold.

“You may go.” you quietly add, looking away.

Confused, off-guard, and terrified, Sidney tries to grasp the thought of the truth.

“What do you mean there is no baby?” Sidney begins to flood you with queries. “They must have read the tests wrong. It can’t be right, can it? Claire told Cathy everything was fine! We do have a baby!” he nearly grovels trying to get a hold of you, pleading.

“We have a baby, y/n.” He breaks. “We’re going to be a family.”

Oh you’d kill to have him say those words when you needed him to. Only he didn’t. And that is the truth you’re now choosing.

“I need you to go, Sidney.” you respond calmly, frustrating him even more.

“Please, y/n!” he cries. “What happened to our baby?”

“It’s gone, alright!” you lose it just as Sidney’s world begins to crumble, “You got what you wanted!”

You blink away the tears about to break just as you say, “I need you to go because I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“No– There’s got to be another way for us. We always find a way.”

“I don’t want to do this anymore, Sidney.” you reiterate. “I don’t think we should be together.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re mad at me,” he argues. “Just be mad at me, y/n!”

He grabs your hand and places it close to his cheek. You can feel the tears on his skin and his desperate cry to escape the inevitable.

You look at him with the same fondness you once had. The last he’ll ever see.

“It’s over, Sid.” you declare. “I don’t want this– I don’t want to be with you.”

“Y/N… please,” he says. “I’m begging you.”

“Leave, Sidney.” you reach for the red button on the side of your bed, hoping to get Claire.

Sidney’s tears continue to fall. But you no longer care.

“I can’t do this without you.” he says in between sobs.

You press the red button repeatedly. You wipe your tears away wishing Claire would get to you faster.

“Please don’t end us.” he says, knees already on the cold hospital floor; a complete mess. “Please don’t make me leave.”

Before you can push him further away, the door to your room abruptly opens; Kris and Geno come into view.

With a firm yet cautious voice, Geno calls him. “Sidney.”

Kris puts an arm over Sidney’s shoulder, “Let her get some rest.”

“Y/N–” Sidney calls for you once more; bearing with him the thought of losing his son and his son’s mother. The family you wanted a little too early. The family he wanted a little too late. The painful truth that Sidney chose to carry with him for years however ugly and cruel you made it to be just so he can still make it seem real.

If only he knew.

series taglist: to be reblogged! [tumblr crashes a lot and won't let me post smh]

note: woooow been a hot min! how's everyone? i hope you liked this long over-due update i'm so sorry life got in the way for a bit. anw, you know how much of a sucker i am for interaction so lmk what you think love ya! ♡

add yourself to the series taglist here. i appreciate all kinds of feedback! ♡

#sidney crosby #sidney crosby imagine #sidney crosby x reader #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction #sidney crosby fanfiction #call me crosby #cmc #barzzal imagines #letters to crosby #the gif... very telling

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