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#hc: batman
strawberrylet · 1 year
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idea: batman and the robins never acknowledge that there have been different robins. like they all act that there's only been one and that they're the same person basically.
Justice League who's used to teen dick not kid jason: who is this child?
Batman: what do you mean, it's robin.
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Batman and Tim walking through the watchtower:
Justice League who remembers robin literally dying: ...*side eye*...
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Flash: batman… who is this?
Batman: robin. you’ve met before. several times.
Flash: no, i met a black haired boy. this is a blonde girl!
Batman: her name is robin
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Superman: it's time for you to explain. where are you getting all these children?
Batman: i have no idea what you're talking about.
Superman *pointing to damian*: who is this kid?!
Damian: i'm robin. i'm offended you would even ask that? don't you remember *proceeds to recite a story dick told him of his robin days*
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frownyalfred · 5 months
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hc that Clark doesn’t get the human instinct/reaction of a gut feeling or the hairs standing up on the back of your neck since he’s Kryptonian, so sometimes Bruce just freezes up and says “something’s wrong” and Clark resigns himself to it like ah yes, that weird human thing again and is baffled when 99% of the time Bruce’s gut is absolutely right
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vivianthepigeon · 5 months
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Tim: “I need to tell you something”
Bruce: “What did you do??”
Tim: “when Alfred was doing our taxes he noticed a missing check”
Bruce: “what did you do???”
Tim: “Before I answer do you trust me enough to understand that it was for a good reason and just leave it at that?”
Bruce: “What. Did. You. Do.”
Tim: “it’s all Jason’s fault! He is a BAD person, I’ve been telling you for years!”
—————
Bruce to Jason: “WHAT DID YOU DO?”
Jason: “okay now before I answer that-“
Bruce: “just tell me whatcha did”
Jason: “I got a DUI”
Bruce: “Jason!”
Jason: “it’s not as bad as it sounds”
Bruce: “How is driving drunk not bad???”
Jason: “I wasn’t exactly driving”
Bruce: “I don’t follow.”
Jason: “I was at the bar with Damian and I had a few”
Bruce: “DAMIAN?!”
—————
Damian: “With God as my witness I’ve never been to that bar in my life.”
Jason: “He knows.”
Damian: “Oh I’ve been there a bunch”
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reineydraws · 8 months
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jason is a grandpa's boy and u cant take this away from me!!! they cook together, they discuss literature together, and when jay comes back, they clean their guns together haha. ofc they celebrate their birthday together too! 😌
✨️🎂 hbd jay & alfie 🎂✨️
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appleswan · 8 months
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Jason knows that when he approaches kids in his entire get up that they're scared of him, and in crises that's... not great. So he's taken to carrying sticker books with him. He has enough pockets for it. He offers the kids stickers, and he lets them put the stickers on his helmet. He has dozens of Red Hood helmets now, all of them have an amalgamation of new and faded stickers.
The rest of the family tries to make fun of him for it, but Jason just holds out his sticker books like "You seem stressed, have a sticker."
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oifaaa · 1 month
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Fuck your insomniac Tim Drake head canons instead join my team and start pushing the idea that Tim actually has narcolepsy boy can't stop himself from falling asleep even if he wanted to
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violent138 · 10 days
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In universe, Dick Grayson's equivalent of Bruce dropping out of med school is absolutely everyone demanding to know why he didn't go to the Olympics with his gymnastics abilities.
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Bruce with baby!Jason and toddler!Dick
Dick figuring out words but moves like he has no bones, cartwheeling, and Bruce has to keep running before him because Dick forgets the room eventually ends and then gets his forehead straight into a wall
Baby Jason Soo sweet and affectionate. Doesn't know how to give Bruce kisses so he'll kiss Bruce by bitting (but don't worry he doesn't have teeth yet)
Baby Jason being carried by toddler Dick is SOOO cute. Alfred taking pics, he's a proud grandpa
Dick likes when Bruce holds him upside down and giggles so loud it echoes. Jason who sometimes get so tired but still want to stay awake to play with Dick and Bruce
Jason will eat anything if he sees his big brother eating too. Jason who loves to watch cartoon with stories. He'll nod along to what Bruce says to him
Bruce getting back from a mission, says "ouch". Jason sees it, says "ooouch?"
Bruce will be talking to Dick and Jason will start to cry because he wants to be included in the conversation! He'll even babble along
One of those grey but comforting evenings where there's lots of rain and wind, Bruce flat out dead (sleeping) in the couch, Jason napping in his chest, Dick between the couch and Bruce and using his arm (that is not holding Jason up) as a pillow, snoring
Jason that pouts when he's focused (playing with his teether). Isn't easily tickled but does laugh when Bruce kisses his feet
His first word is "dick"
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thief-of-eggs · 5 months
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Cass doesn’t look, she glares
Tim doesn’t smile, he grimaces.
Damian doesn’t speak, he growls.
Jason doesn’t raise his voice, he screams.
Duke doesn’t watch, he scrutinizes.
Dick doesn’t smooth talk, he manipulates.
Steph doesn’t laugh, she cackles. Manically.
Bruce’s children are a little damaged, a little odd. If not in big ways, then in the smallest of ways that so clearly sets them apart from everyone else. Their line of work demands it, their breeding encourages it.
It’s just how they were made. Once they’ve been touched by the shadows of Gotham, it never leaves their veins.
It’s in their blood now. It’s seen in their eyes, their smiles. The twitch of their face, the narrowing of their gaze.
Gotham’s embrace never lets you go.
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HC that the average life expectancy in Gotham is actually four years higher than the national average because they collectively just keep refusing to die
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dc-comics-lover · 7 days
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Random things I like to hc :
(here's part 2)
- Constantine calling Batman "love" anytime.
"Good plan, love. Now, if I may add..."
- Diana constantly fighting the urge to add multiple times in the footnotes of her research papers : "*I know that because I was there."
- Clark feeling some type of way whenever anyone from the Batfam calls him Uncle Clark (he does tear up a little the first few times).
- Anytime, Booster would get cancelled for a tweet, he'd go back in time just far enough to prevent from tweeting it. He did that way too many times.
- Barry and Hal being that one best friend duo that are big on PDA. Most of the time during JL meetings, Hal's leg would be intertwined with Barry's.
- Given that the way they usually interact correlates with what he learned about married couples, J'onn assumed for the longest time that Bruce and Clark were spouses.
- Much like how Clark switches off his kansan accent when he's being Superman, Bruce switches off his "posh" accent when he's being Batman.
- On the contrary, Oliver always sounds filthy rich.
- Everytime someone mentions (any) Robin, Hal's mind still can't fathom that Batman's sidekick is a literal child.
- Dick is a bisexual flirt in and out of costume.
- Regular occurence : Batman enters the meeting room, sees Booster's stupid expression that's a clear sign he's going to share very stupid ideas, and Batman exits the room without a word. He doesn't come back for the rest of the meeting. After it happened more than once, some of the members get the clue and walk out as well.
- Superman can recite entire movies by heart. Not surprising in and of itself, but surprising that Bruce silently lets him do it over his shoulder when he's working in the batcave. Lets Clark unwind and gives Bruce background noise.
- After multiple complaints, Batman had to soundproof Dinah and Oliver's room in the watchtower.
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brucewaynehater101 · 1 month
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Tim Drake hc:
After rescuing Bruce from the timestream, the other Bats eventually notice that Tim is 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 without at least one weapon on him at all times. He usually has three (the small knife he built hideaway spots in all his shoes for, the larger knife either on his hip or shelved on his back, and a nonlethal option such as a taser), but he doesn't even sleep without them within reach.
The shoe knife was introduced to his outfits after the Titan Tower Attack. He wanted a hidden way to never be caught off guard again (he wasn't sure his precautions would be well-received by the Bats). The larger knife was added after the desert (Tim's not sure he'd resort to using it, but he lost two friends during a time he had only himself and them to rely on). The nonlethal one was added after Damian cut his line.
He does end up forgiving all the Bats for their transgressions and seeking forgiveness for his faults, but he's never without a weapon. He's learned that even "safe" spaces can suddenly become unsafe. He learned that, when it came down to it, he has only himself to constantly rely on.
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frownyalfred · 21 days
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I 100% believe Lois Lane requested the presence of Bruce Wayne in her delivery room.
Nobody, not even the League, understood until it was time to give birth and Clark froze up at her bedside. Bruce was there to coach them both through it, as Clark’s friend and as Lois’ human reinforcements.
(Bruce flew to Metropolis in a helicopter when he got the news. He found Clark ashen and trembling at Lois’ side, eyes clenched shut as she screamed. He slid into place like he’d never been missing, talking Lois AND Clark through it like he delivered babies every day of the week)
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vivianthepigeon · 5 months
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Bruce and his batbrats
Edit: fanon Bruce
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begaycommittreason · 7 months
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to survive galas the batkids play drinking games, so possible topics of when they have to take a shot:
bruce fakes being wasted to cover up and injury and ends up breaking something
selina pickpockets bruce unnoticed
damian gets his cheeks pinched
dick gets swarmed by cougars
tim gets too into his fake socialite persona and forgets to turn it off with them
steph knocks over a tower or drinks
jason shows up in an unspeakably horrible disguise (ie. fake mustache, clark’s glasses, etc.)
cass scares the shit out of people by materializing next to them
jim gordon takes a shot
someone accuses bruce of fathering their secret love child
duke claims to not be related to them
damian and tim get into fisticuffs
tim get caught napping (in a closet, under tables, etc.)
someone tells jason he looks just like “that poor old wayne kid who passed”
jason responds with something equally horrific (ie. he was ugly don’t insult me like that, i’m his ghost back to haunt you, that’s what he said too, oh i know my surgeon is a miracle worker do you want his card, etc.)
tim and damian resort to psychological warfare
bruce is a casualty of said warefare
duke steph and jason spread outlandish rumors about gotham to scare rich socialites
barbara spitefully runs over someone’s foot with her wheelchair
damian is caught hiding under the table like a gremlin
dick attempts to perform circus tricks
a batkid tells the truth about an injury and isn’t believed (was trying to ride the cow on a skateboard, sibling threw them off the banister, etc.)
bruce causes an international incident
tim causes an international incident
any of them cause any kind of incident affecting the greater east coast area or larger
one of the rumors the kids started comes back to them full circle
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thecrimsonmonarch · 2 years
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[JL Watchtower]
Batman: *alert, expression grave* We have an emergency.
Superman: *springing into action* Let's go, you can tell me the details on the way --
Batman: It's me. I'm the emergency.
Superman: *frowning, examining Batman with x-ray vision* No broken bones, no internal bleeding... what's wrong?
Batman: I think I'm drunk.
Superman:
Superman: You don't drink.
Batman: I had canned coffee. From the pantry. There's crateloads of them.
Superman: *remembering Flash's newest concoction* Oh
Batman: At first I thought I was just being affected by the sugar.
Superman: *remembering Flash mentioning that he had them specially made for his high metabolism* Oh no
Batman: You know I don't consume much sugar, Clark. I'm not used to it. I thought it was The Sugar Rush™
Superman: How much did you drink?
Batman: I'd already drunk two cans when I read the fine print. I --
Batman: *clutching Superman's shoulder, carefully enunciating* I imbibed two whole cans, Clark. Of metahuman-grade Irish Coffee.
Superman: *supporting Batman's free arm, keeping him from acquainting his face with the floor* Oh no
Batman: I feel strange. I made small talk in the cafeteria. I might've cracked a joke at some point. I almost told Green Lantern he did a good job on the last mission.
Superman: Wow
Batman: But he didn't do a good job, Clark.
Superman: *lips pursed, corners twitching* Mhm
Batman: My mental faculties have been compromised. I feel... bubbly.
Superman: *controlling his breathing*
Batman: I cannot be seen bubbly, Clark. I'm Batman.
Superman: *shoulders shaking, eyes glistening*
Batman: You need to get me out of here before I run around the cafeteria complimenting everyone.
Superman: Okay, just -- give me a sec --
Superman: *sniffling* I'm memorizing every detail of this conversation so I can replay it forever
+
[Later, at the Batcave]
Superman: *flies in with Batman in a bridal lift*
Batkids: !!!!!!!!!
Nightwing: We received his emergency alert --
Red Hood: What the fuck happened --?
Nightwing: -- he wasn't responding --
Robin: Is Father conscious --?
Red Robin: I'm getting Alfred --
Superman: GUYS, guys, calm down
Superman: *puts Batman down on his feet* B's just drunk.
Batman: *stands straight, dusts his shoulders, opens his arms*
Batman: Daddy's home.
Nightwing:
Robin:
Red Robin: Okay, pause everything, I’m getting a camera *runs off*
Red Hood: *unblinking* Is this real
Batman: How are you boys this fine evenin'?
Robin: It's 4 AM
Nightwing: Why is he speaking with a southern accent?
Superman: He's been cycling through accents since liftoff. No idea why.
Red Robin: *returning with an 8K camera in hand* BEHOLD, the reclusive Gotham Bat in his natural habitat…
Batman: *staring at the lens, hands lifting his cape open at shoulder-height*
Batman: *fangs bared* I bid you velcome.
Red Hood: *still unblinking, unmoving* This is the best day of my entire life
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