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#haven't been in the right mental state to watch it lately but i'll come back one day danny boy i promise
camryn-haitani · 3 months
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is that offer still up?
dazai osamu x reader
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your mental health is declining and dazai notices but says nothing. he unexpectedly catches feelings but before he can confess, it's already too late...
TW: angst, suicide, cursing, I guess a lil plot twist at the end, self harm, gun, kissing a dead body, Google translate Italian.
I started watching bungo stray dogs and I already love it. I've been in love with dazai since I first saw him😭😭
the gif has nothing to do with the fic, I just think he looks hot in it💀
you lay in your bed, feeling numb. you don't know why you couldn't feel anything. you tried doing the things you used to love, but they don't seem the same anymore.
your phone rang multiple times, dazai's contact always popping up on your screen. you let it ring, not wanting to talk.
*BAM* you shoot up from your bed to see what the hell that noise was. you walk out of your room to see your front door busted open with dazai in the frame.
"why haven't you been answering my calls, bella donna?" he asks. "oh I turned my phone off, been doing some work..." you lie. dazai gives you those 'oh really' eyes. he walks past you and I to your room. "hey! get out!" you follow.
"aha! just as I thought. you can't lie to me, cara." he picks up your phone and unlocks it. he goes to your calls and sees the 25 missed calls he's given you. "fine you caught me." you raise your hands up in defeat.
"mhm that's what I thought. but anyway, kunikida asked me to give these papers to you to fill out and bring them back when you return." dazai hands you a folder filled with papers busting at the seams.
'great' you say to yourself. you put it on your desk and push dazai out of your apartment. "wait! before I go, I wanted to ask you something." he turns around. "would you be interested in joining me in a double sui-" "goodbye dazai." you slam your destroyed door in his face.
you lay back in your bed and drift off into sleep.
next day
*BAM* you were woken from your sleep with another slam of your door. 'well, there goes the rest of it.' you get up and put on a hoodie, making sure you've cleaned up all the blood from your arm and none it gets in your hoodie.
"oh y/n!" dazai yells. he waltzed into your room. you hide your knife under your bed before he comes in. "how's that paperwork coming alo...ng." he looks at your desk and sees the folder right where he left it yesterday.
he points to it and looks at you. "you know... kunikida is going to be very mad. and you know he's a grumpy pants when he's mad." he states. "trust me dazai, I know how kunikida gets when he's mad. I've had to face his wrath multiple times." you roll your eyes.
"if you'd like, you can come up to the agency and we could fill out paperwork together." he suggests. "uhm I think I'll be ok, but thank you dazai." you smile at him. "hey, y/n?" he asks. "yes, you suicidal maniac? if you're asking me to join you in a double suicide, then I'll decline." you answer. "noooooo of course not. i was actually going to ask if I could have some tea and I wanted to catch up with you. i miss talking to you." dazai looks at you, his gaze soft. "oh... I'm sorry, yeah of course. my apartment is a bit messy, I'm sorry."
you prepare y'all's tea and sit down at the dining table. "how have you been, y/n?" dazai sits down. "I've been ok. how have you been?" "suicidal as ever, my dear." he holds your hand. your heart races at the thought of him seeing what you did last night. he slides his hand further up your wrist. "shit I think the teas done." you get up.
after y'all's small talk, dazai took his leave. you called up the landlord of your apartment to get a new damn door. you slide down the wall and just say there, feeling lifeless. you don't have the heart to tell him your plans. you truly love him dearly, but you couldn't stand to see him hurt by your intentions.
you continue to sit on the floor against the wall until your door busts open again.
"holy shit! kunikida?" you yell. "what the hell have you been doing all day?! you need to finish that paperwork or else I'll be in deep shit!" he takes a few deep breaths and sits down at your table. you still in the floor, looking into nothing once more.
"listen, dazai cares about you." that snapped you outta your trance. you looked at him confused, wanting him to go on. "there's a reason he's been here the past 2 days, but it's not my place to tell." he says. "just... please get that paperwork done." he stands up and closes the door. you go back I to staring into nothing, debating on what to do
the agency
'if she's going to do what I think she's gonna do, then I don't have much time left.' he says to himself. while dazai is having an internal battle with himself, he failed to notice kuni walking in. "hey, dumbass." kuni tries to get dazai's attention. 'he's so deep in thought, he still hasn't noticed me.' kuni walked over and starts shaking dazai. "oh hey man, what up?" dazai answers. kuni sighs and sits across from dazai. "you know what's up." kuni says. dazai just looks down at his work. "you've gotta say something, you can't keep doing this." kuni stares at him. dazai stays silent. "just think about it, ok?" kuni stands up and hits dazai's shoulder in a comforting way. dazai just puts his chin on his desk and thinks.
over the course of a few months, you barely came to work anymore. maybe twice every few weeks or not at all. you've been getting worse and worse with every passing day. not eating, showering, not doing anything. dazai barely came over anymore, in fear he'd see you completely destroyed by your mental health.
but this one day, the one day that made his whole life flip around. you came into work. you looked trashed, but you didn't care. you walked through the door, looking around frantically. "hey where's dazai?" you ask kuni. "he's in the next room over." he answered not looking up from his book.
you march into the room, you see him talking to a co worker. "y/n!! you're here. i mis-" he was cut off by your lips onto his. he was shocked but kissed back. you pulled back and whispered an 'i love you' and ran out the door. dazai too shocked to follow you.
you ran all the way back to your apartment and slide down your wall. the letter you wrote to dazai also on the kitchen table. knife still in its place where you left it. cold blade caressed your skin, pressing deeper and deeper.
once you thought it was enough, your eyes hazy and getting heavier from blood loss, you pulled out your gun. it was small, but it was enough to do damage. you clutch the letter in your hand and pull the trigger.
dazai, however, was running for his life to your place. he knew it and didn't do anything about it. he finally reached your door and didn't break it down this time. he had a key, he just never used it. he unlocks your door to see you laying in the floor, blood pooling beneath your body and gun clutched in you hand. he finds a letter in your other hand. he takes it out and reads it
To Dazai,
if you're reading this, I've already committed suicide. I'm sorry we never committed your double suicide. i just want you to know that none of this was your fault, it was mine. I never told you because I thought you would think of me differently. I've loved you the first day I worked at the agency. please tell kunikida I'm sorry that I didn't finish the paper work, I'm sure he'll be mad at me. always remember that I love you.
sincerely, y/n
he takes out his phone and calls kunikida. "where the hell are you?! you bolted out of the office and I've been alon-" "y/n said they're sorry for not finishing their paperwork." dazai cuts him off. "yeah they better be. what even happened? why were they looking for you?" kuni asks. "you'll know when you get here." "what the hell does that even me-" dazai hangs up.
he clutches the letter in his hand. he leans down and kisses you. "I'm sorry I didn't say it back, but I love you." he caresses your cheek. he kneels down and holds your hand as he takes the gun you used from you hand and points it at his forehead.
"but we'll meet again soon, bella cara. i promise." and he pulls the trigger.
- - - - - -
please remember you aren't alone. there's always someone to talk to. even if you feel like you are, you aren't. my dms are open for anyone and any reason. i love all y'all. stay safe
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samwinchestersbf · 11 months
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"I Will"
Sam Winchester x Reader
This was based on Mitski's song, I just love her music so much.
Authors note: Suprise!! A comfort fic!! I haven't been doing the best lately, my mental health is really getting to me. I think writing this may help :) Beware of any writing mistakes, it's 4 am right now so criticism is welcomed. (silly hours for me) Non-specific reader and this one might be a little small.
Reblogs are appreciated!! <3
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He was always so caring and lovely no matter what, you knew that.
However, something inside of you just ate at you for days, weeks even. It was different and difficult, causing the past to reel you back in. The 'What if' thoughts were consuming you once again.
What if that never happened to you? What if everything you went through was for nothing? What if this was the last week for you? What if you're just making it all up? What if.
The sadness was a persistent parasite, you wanted it out of you.
You were a little avoident and dismissive about it, throwing "Yep I'm good"'s at him.
He knew something was actually up with you, he attempted to try to fish it out of you.
You started to refuse to sleep in the same bed, if you did it would only be for a little bit before rising earlier than he did. You slept in the library or even the kitchen, your excuses with research and exhaustion weren't cutting it anymore.
He didn't do anything wrong, it was you being you.
He was finally able to corner you, catching you up in your lies.
You two were sitting in the impala, Dean in the store for some food on the ride home. You, in the backseat, pretending to be asleep so you could wiggle your way out of the tense situation.
"You're getting worse, I can see it. Please just talk to me, I will take good care of you."
You took a quiet deep breath to reject the tears.
You couldn't explain it to anyone out loud, it felt like an internalized argument with yourself.
An argument of upset and angry thoughts. You wanted help but the shame and bravery of asking for help was overwhelming to ignore.
His hand patiently reached for yours. It was warm and soothing. You ached for his love yet you couldn't bring yourself to embrace it.
"I'm sorry," is all you could mutter out. How could you explain to him?
Sorry Sam! The thoughts are getting worse and I'm not sure if I'll make it this time. I hope you can understand!
As if that was okay to tell him, it'll raise him to questions and concerns.
Dean came back to the car, putting an end to the situation. He was aware of how your mental state was, you weren't too hard to read.
He offered you food and you accepted it out of a hint of guilt if you didn't. You just placed the food next to you and watched the environment move when he backed out of the parking lot.
The drive was going normal, their normal brother bickering and silence. They were having a talk about the hunt you all got done with yesterday.
You decided to tune it all out, ruminating in your own world.
You thought of ways to tell him. Maybe you didn't need to, you could just lock it all away to eventually forget.
You started to feel a sense of dread building up in you so you attempted to sleep it off.
You woke up with soft whispers of your name, Sam's voice trying to wake you up.
Due to the lack of sleep and high alert you bolted up, sitting straight and facing him.
"We're here now, come inside so we can talk."
Those words made you feel small as a little kid would when they get in deep shit. You thought about it more, that's all you've been doing as of lately.
You got out of the car with Sam trailing behind you.
Dean must've been inside already, ready to booze and snooze.
The two of you just walked in the same tense atmosphere as before, making your way to your shared room.
He closed the door behind and immediately wrapped his arms around you in such a gentle way.
Obviously you couldn't help but sob in his care, you needed it so much. Repeating the words 'I'm sorry' to him over and over.
It never felt enough.
He never said anything during it, he understood sometimes you struggle. He played with your hair, guiding you to the bed to sit down with him.
"It's okay to feel this way", he replied to your aftermath of crying.
"I'm always here for you. I will always be here for you. There's no need to run and hide from it." The way he spoke to you in that tone, you wanted to melt in his love.
"Do you want to talk about it?" You shook your head still unsure of how to talk about it. He gave a simple nod and hugged you a little tighter before letting go.
"We should go clean up, we're dirty from that hunt."
Sam held your hand the entire time as he lead you to the showers.
You both stood in silence again, just appreciating each other while the water ran. You wished the peaceful intimate moments with him lasted forever.
The night ended with him holding you, the tense atmosphere now replaced with kindness and comfort.
"It's just getting really bad again, I just want it to stop."
"We can get through it together, please just stay with me for now."
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naughtygirl286 · 2 years
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So yes we went to see the new Horror movie "Smile" originally we were going to go see The Woman King but the person who was going to see that couldn't go so we all went to see "Smile" I wanted to see this being it look really good and different. I am liking alot of the recent horror movies that have been coming out lately from Malignant to The Black Phone to Barbarian and everything in between. stuff has been really good.
The Theater was actually packed for this! it was pretty much a sold out crowd for the time we went I was saying we were lucky to get seats all together as a group. also there was one in theater item that they were giving away for this and you can see it here. also speaking of seating I was sitting on the right end of our group there was a seat to my right that was purchased and when the trailers were playing a girl came in and sat in that seat and watched like the first quarter of the movie and then got up and left. You would think she was going to the bathroom or to get something at the concession counter? no! she left and didn't come back! why is this important? I just found it strange that you purchase a ticket to the movie and only watch like a the first quarter of it then leave and don't come back? to me its just a bit weird. anyway..
As for the movie I can honestly say it was very good! It was a bit different but at the same time it kinda reminded me a tiny bit of the movie called "It Follows" if you haven't seen that one you should right away. but as for this. but as usual I'll try to not spoil anything being you should experience it for yourself.
The movie is more a psychological horror but at the same time it does deal with a type of unknown supernatural force that stalks it victims in a way in or to posses them and spread its evil from jumping from person to person through acts of unimaginable violence.
The movie basically revolves around Rose (played by Sosie Bacon) who is a psychiatrist who works in like a psychiatric hospital and is a very serious and clinical person and a girl is brought in to her who is claiming that she is being stalked by some evil force not believing in ghost or monsters Rose tries to treat the girl violently kills herself in front of rose with a big smile on her face. traumatized she goes home to take a break but soon her world and mental state start to crumble around her and she comes to realize that the "evil" was passed on to her she begins to try to find out where it came from and how to stop it she learns everyone who dies because of this dies with a huge joker like grin on their face which of course is how the movie gets its name. as she is slowly going crazy and that is when all the spooky stuff really starts and it gets kind of intense at times but no one will believe her until she requests the help of her Ex-boyfriend who is a cop and with that she tries to confront the evil and rid herself of it.
Now I don't feel the movie was scary but I guess scary on different levels like as in shocking I do believe it was disturbingly horrific at parts. The whole movie itself was in a way terrifying the musical score and sound design and everything was just pure horror and its very good to the point where you can’t turn away
like the acting in this was excellent Sosie Bacon was amazing and watching her just mentally crack becasue of what was happening was scary in its own right.
There was only one thing I didn't like about the movie which involves Rose's cat. When you get the scene you know its coming becasue you'll have this "oh no" type of reaction. I just found that birthday sequence kinda sad it was more of a "aww..:(" type of thing other then that the movie was excellent. I can see there being a possible sequel to this maybe? I don't think I would mind a Smile 2 but I would be interested in maybe more of a prequel like something along the lines of "The First Smile" like how did it all start where did the evil come from something like that. anyway.. the acting is very well done the way its filmed, the atmosphere, the production and sound design and even the music is all horrifying! the movie as a whole is creepily terrifying So I would recommend it and you should see it in theater to truly experience it. Also if you didn't know this movie was based on the short film "Laura Hasn't Slept" which you can watch below!
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fallinto-u · 4 months
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Sitting and trying to distract myself through a panic attack, I was scrolling and came across this video. As I listened and compared to the things that have been happening, huge part of me was resisting. But then also realized that in the past, after the worst of times and sometimes a huge reset, things did change for the better. Or if not better, into a different direction at the very least. Another direction eventually came with new opportunities.
If you remember, we talked about this resisting feeling when it came to trying to finish the Frequency book. That resisting feeling towards hope and positivity has been strong for quite a while. But watching this reminded me back of the mindset we once were able to have. It may have changed, and it may all seem pointless right now as we’re going through the worst. But being reminded of what my mind was once capable of, what state I could get into, gave me a little spark of hope and insight again. A small, very small dose of hope. And that’s scary, I may push it away and sabotage right after this again. But maybe with small repeated glimmers of these moments, it may eventually be rebuild again. Bit by bit.
It may sound cliché what's being said in the video but as I thought deeper about my situations, I do see some truth to those words. I do see that I'm literally being pushed into certain directions that wouldn't have motivated me enough if I had stayed in the exact same place. For example, my situation at home getting even way worse and more overwhelming has finally actually pushed me to take steps towards moving out. I don't know how I'll get there, it overwhelms and scares me, but at least I am taking action because I literally cannot stay in this environment for much longer.
As well as my mental health getting at the lowest I imagined it could get. If it didn't get this far, I would have been too anxious, resisting trying out new medication. Now I literally don't have a choice, and can't get that much more anxious on top of what I experience every single moment anyway. The new meds may hopefully benefit/support me in the long run to feel at least a little less anxious going through life.
Last example, and I'm sorry for oversharing and ranting here. But if I didn't get burnt out from life, being stuck at home almost unable to socialize at this point, I wouldn't have found my current therapist. This is the first therapist who comes with the insight that she's pretty sure I have autism and adhd. Adhd I suspected but autism? Completely new insight. But the more I learned about it, the more everything made sense. I thought of our conversations on topics related to that as well. A lot of things fell into place.
Yes all these examples seem to be a blessing in the end,but I haven't experienced them as such yet. I'm honestly still in the midst of hell and I'm afraid you are too. But this is the first time I'm at least able to see things in a different light.
If we were still talking I would’ve sent you the video. Not to force you to be positive or feel hopeful or any different. Rather just to remind you that once it was possible. To remind you that if you would ever want to, it is still available and out there for you. No matter how far you’ve wandered. You can always find your way back to a more stable path, or create a new one. In one of your voice messages I've recently listened to in a moment of despair, you said "You're never too far gone. It's never too late, I promise ". Also something along the lines of that even after the worst of storms, earthquakes and wars, people always rebuild. No matter how awfully destroyed everything is.
I’m always rooting for you. It’s fucking hard, but you’re doing damn well holding on every single day. No matter how you need to get through right now. I'm trying to remember and do the same. Each day we survive is a huge accomplishment, no matter how we had to make it work. You’re still here and trying. I’m proud of you always.
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siimjaeyun · 3 years
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blue bag- jay park
genre: fluff, angst, bad boy au
tw: street violence, mentions of gangs
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Jay's reputation at Belift wasn't exactly a secret to most people. The loose uniform with the leather jacket, covered bruises, and exposed tattoos were noticeable to anyone who bothered to pay attention.
Most people would like to assume to not judge him by his appearance, but his character matched it to a tea. He never bothered to give anyone the time of the day, much less even look in their direction. The only people who received such privileges were his closest six friends.
Or anyone who dared to cross his path- including the slight punches he's thrown at the occasional classmate.
But people couldn't see behind his intentions. Like the time he almost beat one of uppers to a pulp when they tried picking on jungwon his first year. All good intentions.
On this fateful day, the teacher had thought a slight change would mix things up. Instead of placing Jay in the back by himself like usual, he placed him right beside you.
"Hi Jay!" Your warm welcome startled him to say the least. Sure, he was used to love letters by other girls, but you didn't really look at him that way.
He stayed silent and placed his head back onto the desk. At the end of class, you bid him goodbye and walked out with your friends who seemed to tattle over him almost immediately.
-------
After yet again another argument with the rivaling gang leader, he finds himself cornered in the back of an alley way. Maybe it wasn't the smartest idea to think you could fight five men at once.
Tired, and out of breath, he's barely holding onto himself before there's a final blow to his lower stomach, collapsing onto the ground before him.
The men are about to approach him, this time, aiming towards his back, but retreat at the sounds of a siren.
"Here, hurry! They might come back." He looks up and finds it's you, carrying a bag in one hand and reaching out towards him with the other.
"Get lost." Jay, who is too stubborn to ask for help, attempts to get up before his knees give up on him.
"You can't walk. Stop being a bitch and let me help you." You swing his arm over your shoulder, and pull him up, guiding him towards the exit of alley way. At the closest convenience store, you rest him on a bench, bringing a towel to his face to wipe off the blood from his brow and lip.
"How did you see me?" He barely manages to ask.
"I didn't know it was you until I saw your face, which is very beat up by the way." He observes quietly and patiently waits for you retreat the towel from his face, slowly admiring the way you move your eyebrows while humming a small beat. 
“I’m done. I’ll call a taxi to take you home so you can finish up. I’m going to assume this isn’t the first time you get beat up.” Jay, snapping back to reality, stands up quickly and blocks your view of the street. 
“I can manage. Now go home.” He nods towards the direction of the grand city. 
“You can barely walk. Either I take you home, or text someone to come pick you up.” Jay immediately takes the second option, and searches quickly for his phone before realizing he must of left at it home. 
“Go ahead, call the taxi.” He mutters under his breath. The bright lights signal to him that he has arrived, and in silence, you drop him off, and leave, not letting Jay even look back and say a quick ‘thank you.’ 
----- 
If Jay didn’t know any better, it’s almost as if nothing had occurred yesterday. He’s still wearing his black mask to cover up his bruises, but you walked in with a smile and the same welcome from the past two weeks. 
Usually, he would turn the other way or not even bother to look at you, but his slight nod was reassurance enough. 
At the end of class, he was almost the last to leave, given that he had woken up from napping the entire class. Rather than seeing the empty room he was used to waking up in, he saw you again in front of him, holding a blue bag. 
“Here. Eat well okay?” You left the bag onto his desk and walked out again before he could respond. He stuffed the bag into his backpack and went towards the lunch room he was used to meeting his friends in. 
“Jay’s late and beat up. What a surprise.” Sunoo’s snarky comment doesn’t catch him off guard, and instead pulls out the blue bag from his backpack and rests it on the table. 
“Oh? Jay brought lunch? Quick, let’s rate his cooking skills.” Before Jay can react, Heeseung had already snatched it from the table, pulling out a Tupperware with a sticky note on top. 
“Who’s y/n? And why did she call you a loser?” Heeseung asks, opening the container to a bento box. 
“No one, now give it back.” Jay takes back the container, almost admiring the contents inside. 
It was the first time his heart began to take notice of you. 
----- 
Everyone was quickly suspicious about Jay’s relationship with you. It all started with him publicly going to you and thanking you for the food. Then it was the constant good mornings when you would welcome him at the beginning of class. Then it was the morning coffee, and walking you to class in the morning. He was practically stuck to you when he wasn’t with his friends. 
“You know, I think Jay likes you.” One of your friends mentioned casually, causing you to roll your eyes. 
“Stop taking those rumors too seriously, he’s just paying back a favor.”
Yet, your friends weren’t the only ones who were beginning to notice. Most noticeably, Jay’s very own friends. 
“Sunghoon, I don’t like her, so can you shut up?” Jay, almost irritated by the constant confusion of emotions. 
“So, you wouldn’t mind her being so close with Sunoo?” Jake points at your direction. You laughing and trying to hold yourself together while punching Sunoo in the arm. 
“No. Of course not." Yet, he still finds himself burning holes into Sunoo's skull as he sees you wrap an arm around his neck to pull him into a head lock.
It seemed as if that was the last straw because in the next moment, Sunghoon was attempting to prevent Jay's next big mess.
"Get your hands off him." Jay commands, catching not only your attention, but those around him as well.
"Relax Jay, she's just playing around." Sunoo gets himself out of the head lock, and looks at your face who's been cleared of any laughter.
"I'll see you later Sunoo." You can't even look at Jay in the eyes before walking off with another friend.
"What's wrong with you? You know she wasn't hurting me!"
"Don't talk to me right now Sunoo." Jay storms off in the opposite direction while Sunoo turns his head to the side at Sunghoon.
"Am I going to die?"
"Not yet anyway. I think if you stay off y/n, maybe it'll extend your life line." Sunghoon states honestly.
"What do you think would happen if I told him she's my cousin?"
"I don't know but I've never seen Jay so..like this. Its a good look on him."
However, Jay is his full fledged rage, begins to shove everyone in his way including a poor freshman who happens to fall in front of your locker.
"Jay what the fuck!? Are you okay?" You crouch down and reach your hand out, giving Jay a bitter feeling.
"Is this how you catch men? You pretend to be the good guy?"
"Excuse me?" You repeat, shocked at Jay's sudden attitude.
"Nevermind just stay away from me? Got it?" You don't even process the words before he dashes off, ignoring his friends who are attempting to catch his attention.
"Sunghoon, what's his issue ?" Sunghoon only let's out a heavy sigh before shrugging his shoulders.
"It's not my business, but I can assure you that anger won't end well."
-----
And it just so happens that Sunghoon's response was quiet accurate considering Jay's familiar situation. He's been long enough member of his gang to know what territories they're not exactly welcomed.
Yet, he doesn't care and does so anyway because anything is better than having to imagine you with some one else.
"Haven't seen you in a while Jay, must have been busy hmm." The leader mocks him, but it only infuriates the pent up anger within him causing him to land a punch at his gut.
"Don't test me." And as if history repeats itself, he finds himself once more cornered in the back of an alley way. With the collection of bruises forming on his stomach, one could tell he was a kick or two away from a good surgery.
"Jay! Stop!" He curses himself mentally when he watches you run towards him.
"You better leave pretty one...I mean unless..." He approaches you, reaching for your chin to tilt it sidewards, leading to Jay using his last strength to push him off you.
"Don't touch her." Jay grits his teeth, earning a smirk that quickly turns into a frown at hearing the sound of police sirens.
"You got lucky this time." He flees the scene leaving you again with a bloodied up Jay.
"You promised me to not fight anymore!" Jay chooses to ignore you and limps away to a nearby post.
"And I told you to stay away from me y/n. I don't need people like you to worry about me because they pity me" He responds.
"How am I not supposed to worry when you left so suddenly? One moment we're good and the next you're mad at Sunoo and everyone?" You place him on the stair case while getting your first aid kit ready.
"How am I supposed to stay away when you worry me? Do you have any idea how fast I ran here with this when Jake told me you weren't at your house?" You continue to apply a bit of alcohol on his open cuts.
"I'm sorry, I was upset. I saw you with Sunoo earlier and I don't know what came over me. Sunoo is so darn perfect, and what about me? I was afraid you'd leave me." Jay mumbles the last part quietly, but you manage to hear it well.
Without much hesitancy, you press a light kiss onto his bruised and swollen lips. He gasps slightly but manages to wrap his arms around your waist.
"I'm not leaving okay, I'm here to stay if you want me to." Jay grabs you and pulls you in for a hug, resting his face in the crook of your neck.
"Please stay." He mumbles, letting his grip on you get stronger. He stays there for a while, before looking at the blue bag in your hand.
"What's this?"
"I brought some dinner because I figured you would be too lazy to do it yourself and end up eating frozen nuggets again." He smiles slightly before admiring your features.
"I really like you y/n.." Jay confesses, still in the position of hugging you.
"I like you too Jay...I really do." A grin forms on his face and he drops another kiss on your cheek before leading the way out.
Perhaps Jay wasn't exactly perfect, but you always knew he was more than ready to love and learn by your side.
------
a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts haha, but I figured we could all use a little fluff with everything going on :( <3
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Another weird sad story coming up hot.
This is a sequel of Heartbreak. If you haven't read that part yet then I suggest you do so before torturing yourself with this.
This is my first Piccolo x reader and enjoy.
You remind me (ft Piccolo)
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Your eyes widened in shock as your lips met his. You couldn't believe it. He actually kissed you. Piccolo. Kissed. You! After the shock had subsided, you closed your eyes and enjoyed the surprising softness of his emerald lips. Wrapping your arms around him, you eased into the kiss...but it didn't last. The moment was abruptly ended and you were carefully pushed off of him. You stared up at him in confusion.
"What's wrong?",you asked. And actually it kinda frustrated you. For weeks he's been on and off and you weren't sure how to keep up with his change of emotions. He touched his bottom lip before looking back at you. The cold expression he gave you told you that you weren't gonna get the explanation you wanted.
"This was a mistake.",he said bluntly.
"What?" You couldn't believe it. You thought he had actually given you a chance when he took you in his arms and hungrily pressed his lips against yours.
"This, everything, was all a mistake." His cape whisked in the wind as he turned his back on you. You were so confused. "I'm sorry.",he said.
You quickly took his hand before he could get a chance to take off. "Wait."
He tried to pull his arm away but your superhuman grip made it a bit hard. "(Y/n) let go of me. I don't love you." Those words hurt worse than all the beatings you got from training. Deja vu hit the Namekian hard. He's lived through this scenario before. Only this time the roles are reversed.
"Piccolo, look at me.",you said. All the more reason not to look at you. "Look at me!",you demanded, louder this time. And this time he did so. He slowly turned to look at you and immediately his heart shattered like once before but for a different reason. The pain in your eyes.
"Say it."
He looked confused at your statement. "Say what?"
"Say that you don't love me. Look me in the eyes and say it."
He opened his mouth to speak but couldn't find the words. "It's just four words Piccolo."
"I...I can't." He hung his head. He mentally cursed the day he was born on this ratchet planet. Humans were exhausting to be around.
"You can't?" Your grip tightened on his arm. "I don't understand you. You kissed me, you–"
You were silenced with another surprise kiss. It was his special way of shutting you up that day. "I can't say it when I know the real truth but the reason I love you might not be right."
"I don't understand."
Piccolo sighed. "See the thing about you that caught my eye is the same thing that makes me change my mind. It's kinda hard to explain but you deserve an explanation so I'll try."
You let go of his hand and he sat on the grass. "You need to sit down this may take a while." He patted the spot next to him and you reluctantly sat next to him. You waited patiently as you knew he wasn't one to spill his out his feelings so easily.
He looked up at the night sky and took a deep breath. "See there's this girl–" A gasp involuntarily escaped your lips. Piccolo gave you a worried look but you nodded your head slowly, encouraging him to carry on.
Looking back at the stars he continued.
"You remind me of a girl that I once knew. I see her face whenever I, I look at you. Wouldn't believe all the things she put me through." What he said next really slapped you I'm the face. "This is why I just can't be with you."
"See she sorta looks just like you." You saw a small smile appear on his face. "She even smiles just the way you do. So innocent she seemed," The smile is soon replaced by a scowl. "But I was fooled." He turns his head and his onyx eyes meet yours. "I'm reminded when I look at you."
You knew what was coming next and you honestly hadn't been prepared for it. You didn't know if you were angrier that his heart was damaged when it got to you or that someone else had it before you.
"(Y/n), you're amazing, sweet, strong, beautiful. You're really everything a Demon prince could ask for."
"But you can't bear to be with someone who's the same as the one who broke you. That's why you won't even give me a chance?!",you yelled. You couldn't be more offended.
"I know it's so unfair to you." He reached out to touch your arm but you slapped his hand away. He could see you were hurt and that hurt him even more but he couldn't risk having his heart broken. Not again. He felt an odd familiarity with you. He wanted you yet couldn't let you in. "I wish I knew how to seperate the two."
"Then why kiss me?",you asked.
He felt ashamed of the reason, that in a way he just wanted to feel close to her again. The only reason he hasn't pushed you away completely is because he needed her likeness around.
You couldn't bare to hear anymore. You got up and as soon as you did, Piccolo grabbed your arm. "Please just let me–"
"We're done here Piccolo." You weren't even sure he felt anything. He hid his feelings really well. All there was a plastered facade of an emotionless monster. You loved him, but his heart belonged to another.
You felt his energy spike and his hand feel like lava against your sensitive skin. You gasped and he immediately let go of your hand.
"You're not afraid to love Piccolo. Your heart is reserved for another. If you still see her in me, then it means you've still been lying to yourself this whole time."
The look on his face told you that your suspicions were correct. "I hope...I–goodbye Piccolo."
As soon as your back was facing him, hot tears streamed down your face. You immediately took to the skies and left him there with his hand still extended as if he was trying to reach you.
"Damnit.",he growled. He let himself fall onto the ground and focused on the stars above him. He learnt to deal with his emotions pretty well after that heartbreaking day. It didn't take too long to hide them but solving them was the real problem.
He thought your words over and over. He realised that his obsession with her, his never ending bitter love for her was holding him back. Back from all the good things in his life. His friends that he never spoke to ever since then, his concerned former pupil that he always shut away from whenever he tried to comfort Piccolo, Pan who was like his second child and you. The one person who he only opened up to. He hated how you could turn him into a teddy bear, how you laughed at stupid things, how you sang and danced like no one was watching, the playful glares you gave as you sparred, how you loved to place flower crowns on his head and climb on his lap as he meditated...how a part of you reminded him of her!
He couldn't do it anymore.
~
You had your head buried in the pillow that was soaked in your tears. You truly couldn't explain the pain you felt.
You were startled by a light tapping on your window. You quickly wiped your tears away and went over to open the curtains. You're met with annoyance, relief and shock all at the same time.
You're ready to close the curtains and go back to the comfort of your bed but his eyes plead with you to let him in.
You give in and decide to open the window for him, you knew he'd break it open if you didn't anyway. As he swiftly flies through the window you cross your arms and avoid eye contact so he can't see your puffy red eyes but it was probably too late.
"(Y/n), I'm sorry. I just–I guess–I just...what I'm trying to say,"he stammered. He wasn't really good at these things.
"Just say what you wanna say damnit!",you snapped at him. As he looked into your eyes you could see he was broken, just looking at you in your depressed state made him want to shoot a special beam at himself.
He sighed and before you knew it, you were grabbed by the hand and pulled into his arms. Tears streamed down your face as you hugged back.
You two stayed in each other's arms the whole night. No words were spoken and that was just perfect. When you woke up in his arms the next day you knew that his heart belonged to you because you're the one that fixed it.
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Forbidden Fruit
Drug cartel!Harry x OC
Warnings: mentions of drugs, prostitution, violence, mental hospitals, gangs, mobster harry
Summary: Nina'a been burnt out on her job as a psychologist, that is until infamous drug runner and mobster Harry Styles is sent to her prison for drug and murder related offenses. Slowly she becomes seduced by his charm and is willing to risk it all to set him free.
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New York City Present Day:
"In other news, crime boss and drug runner Harry 'Kiwi' Styles, was sentenced to thirty years in Maxwell's State Prison for the Criminally Insane. He could be facing more charges in the following weeks across different states-" Nina shut off the radio as she pulled into her parking spot. She sighed, resting her head against the steering wheel for a moment.
She'd worked at Maxwell's Prison for two years now. The once bright eyed grad student had become somewhat disillusioned by the job. These patients didn't change. They didn't want to. It left her unsatisfied. Unhappy. But she couldn't quit. She worked too hard for this.
Slamming her car door she walked up to the large brick building, sliding her key card into the slot before entering a small 'click' accompanying her movement.
"Good morning Doctor." Her assistant came from around her desk, just outside Nina's office. Nina said nothing, entering the room and leaving the door open for her assistant to follow. She's too tired to deal with this today. "I'm assuming you heard about Mr. Styles?" Nina sighed, setting her bag down.
"Alexis not yet..." she rubbed her temples, a slight headache coming on. "Could you grab me a cup of coffee first and then we can talk."
"Sure...be right back." Nina sat down at her desk, blowing a kiss to the portrait of her late father before looking at the large file sat on her desk. H.E.S written on the front in large letters, a sticky note attacked reading:
He arrives at 9:30 am. You are to assess him and report back to me. -Kirk
Kirk. Her boss. Who handed every patient he didn't want, off to her. Probably as revenge for her not wanting to sleep with him that one time.
Alexis came back in, handing Nina a steaming cup of black coffee, just the way she liked it. Nina took a small sip, letting it warm her bones.
"So I see Kirk didn't waste any time passing him off on me." Alexis smiled sympathetically.
"I think it's exciting. Be nice to have a fresh face around here don't you think?" Nina raised her eyebrow, Alexis's wording sometimes was strange. But she decided to overlook it.
"I need you to cancel all my other appointments for today. I have a feeling Mr. Styles isn't the most cooperative person and there's so much to do."
"Of course." Alexis stood again, leaving Nina alone in her office.
She began to flip through the file, scanning the pages and reading up as quick as she could on her new patient. Around nine thirty Alexis knocks on the door again, opening it slightly.
"He's here Nina. They have him ready for you."
The interview room isn't comfortable. Nothing like a cliche therapists office. A steel table sits in the middle of the room, florescent lights making it glint. Two steel chairs, a camera and a tripod set up. No more.
He sits at the table, a guard standing in the corner, eyeing him closely, his head is down. Nina walks over to the camera, turning it on and angling it towards him.
"This is Dr. Mason, here with Patient 072310. First session. " she heard him chuckle as she sits down out of the way of the camera. She crosses her legs, holding her pen and clipboard in her lap. "Hello Harry."
He looks up, finally. Two bright green eyes focus in on her, staring intently as plump red lips curve up into a devilish smile.
"Hello Doctor." Nina knew he was from England. But it still didn't stop her from being surprised by his accent, the roughness of his voice, how low it was. She cleared her throat, straightening her glasses on her face.
"Patient has been prescribed 20 mgs of Ziatropin and Noxicin, to be taken twice daily-"
"They already gave me that love." He interrupted cheekily. Nina rolled her eyes, scribbling furiously before looking back up at him.
"Please address the camera during these sessions...." she looked down to see the restraints on his wrists the cuffs chaining him to the table. "Are you comfortable?" He shakes his head, looking into the camera lenses.
"No....no not at all." He taps his fingers on the table and shrugs. "But I suppose that's what happens when you get caught....they put you in a cage."
"You don't think you should be here?" He leaned forward, taking his eyes off the camera to address her once more.
"No." He looked down at the nametag on her shirt. "Nina....my, my that's a pretty name." She cleared her throat.
"Please refer to me as Dr. Mason." He chuckled again, sitting back in his seat.
"Whatever, look. I provide a necessary service....some people, well, they just can't handle it. That's not on me sister."
"You run a drug cartel. You've killed people. And you don't think you're responsible for that?"
"I come with a warning sign." Harry said, leaning in again across the table. Nina saw the guard out of the corner of her eye step forward slightly. "People...they know what they're getting into when they do business with me....they know the consequences if they betray me."
"Then what are you doing here?" Nina was genuinely curious. He seemed to know what he was doing wrong. Why bring him here if he knew he was wrong. Harry smirked, tilting his head.
"I don't have a conscience sweetheart. That makes me sick." Nina narrowed her eyes. She was annoyed with how cocky and arrogant he was.
"Not having a conscience doesn't make you insane."
"Doesn't it." Nina slammed her note pad shut, standing abruptly. Harry seemed amused, she knew that he knew he was getting a rise out of her. And she didn't like it one bit.
"These sessions are being recorded. Everything you say will be filmed and reviewed. If I can't find you mentally incompetent they will give you the needle....I'd lose the attitude and get a little more serious." She turned to leave when he spoke, his words sending a chill down her spine
"I like you....this could be fun.....I know I still have time left with you darlin' sit back down. I'll be good." She doesn't know what kind of game he's playing but she does, sit down again. "That's better....doesn't do well for my narcissism when people leave before I do." He said approvingly. He thinks he's in control. He needs control. Nina makes a mental note to mark that down later.
"Patient suffers from delusions of grandeur, narcissistic personality disorder-"
"Lots of big words to define me....you haven't even scratched the surface darling."
"Dr. Mason." Nina corrected. "And these are your diagnosis. These are the conditions that brought you here."
"What if I told you I liked the disease," he smiled at her again, a flash of white as his teeth were bared. "I'm true to myself. I don't want to get better if it means I can't be me."
"Well being you is what got you here." She ran her hand through her hair. "We're getting off track."
"There's a track?" God she could slap him.
"Tell me about your family." She said, ignoring what he had said.
"My mother and my sister never abused me. They were good to me. Still back in London.' His tone changed, his words softer as he spoke about them. "Isn't that a trademark of sadistic bastards? They're abused? Well I wasn't."
"Why did you leave them?"
"We were dirt poor. I knew America was the way to go until I got here. I got a job but wasn't making enough. That's when I started running. Made enough to send quite a bit back home to mum." He licked his lips, clearing his throat before he continued. "Worked in a strip club for a while, selling speedball to VIPs, keeping the girls in line....then I started moving up. And once I started climbing I didn't want to stop. I didn't want to go back down." He watched Nina take notes. He noticed her hair falling from her pony tail and into her face. He wanted to reach out, to fix it for her, but he couldn't.
When she looked back up he was staring again, green eyes gazing intently at her. She shifted uncomfortably.
"Do I make you nervous?"
"No," she lied, thankful when her time went off. She stood again, putting her notepad under her arm and shutting off the camera. The guard walked up to Harry, unhooking him from the table and cuffing his arms behind his back. Nina stood to the side, letting them pass, as Harry walked by her he winked.
"Same time next week doc?"
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harryfreakinstyles2 · 5 years
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Torn (Part 1) H.S.
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The sunlight is streaming through the curtains and gleaming off the vinyl flooring of my apartment while I try to force myself to roll out of bed. My alarm is screaming at me for the tenth time this morning. My eyes strain against the intrusion of light as I reach for my phone on the nightstand to stop the ringing in my ears from that damn alarm. I glance at the text on my screen from my best friend that I must have received after passing out around one am last night while trying to finish my essay.
Julie is almost the complete opposite of me in every way. She's unorganized and scatter brained and way more adventurous than I will ever be. But she also makes our little two-bedroom apartment feel like home even with the dirty dishes she leaves in the sink and as crazy as she drives me, I would honestly be lost without her.
Me: You know I had that essay to finish! But it sounds like you had fun like usual! I might have to join you next time! We'll see! Lol
I text back and head to the bathroom to hop in the shower before class. I turn the water on and wait impatiently for it to heat up, my tiny bathroom becomes filled with steam as the hot water helps wake me from my zombie state and relaxes my muscles. I'm dreading class this morning. My stupid elective class I took because I figured it would be an easy A to fill in the extra credits I need to graduate in May, but I am starting to realize that the easy A might not be worth the painful boredom of sitting in that stupid class twice a week. I hurry along getting ready as the morning is rushing by faster than I realized and soon I'm running out the door praying I have time to get coffee on the way.
*
I stick my key in the lock of my apartment door still sipping on my iced coffee. I feel mentally drained after having to put so much energy into staying awake in class, luckily it's the only class I have on Thursdays. I can smell the scrambled eggs as soon as I walk into the apartment. Julies favorite hangover food, I will never understand how that girl can go out so much during the week and still go to work and finish all her school.
I walk into the kitchen and I laugh to myself while taking in Julies disheveled appearance, the aftermath of her late night out.
"Shut up", She groans glaring at me from her spot in front of the stove.
"I'm sorry, but you look pathetic" I laugh again not being able to hold in my amusement.
"Don't be a bitch, you're just jealous that I had a blast last night while all you did was write a paper all damn night." Julie snaps at me but I can see the hint of a smile on her face.
"Alight alright" I say with my hands up in surrender not wanting to actually piss her off. I pull a barstool out from under the counter and take a seat across from her.
"I was serious when I said you are coming out with us this weekend" she huffs, "We are going to this cool hipster club that just opened down the road. It is going to be a lot of fun. And I'm not giving you a choice, so tomorrow night, we'll head out around ten." Her words rush out fast. I am assuming it's so I won't have the chance to interrupt her and make an excuse of why I will not be doing anything of the sort. I roll my eyes when she turns back around to flip her eggs.
"I really don't want to... It's been a long week between work and school and all I want to do is sit on the couch and watch a movie." I groan at my relentless best friend. This is her third attempt in the past two weeks to try and get me to go out.
"Allie, you're 21, not 81. Would you please stop being so lame and just come out with us!" She pleads with me, "It'll be fun I swear!"
"Ughhhhh fine but if I hate it and get bored then I'm coming back home!" I say giving in but still hating the idea.
"Fine fine! Ahhhh yay!! It's going to be great!" Julie excitedly jumps up and down like she is twelve and are moms said yes to a sleep over on a school night. Finally she stops, leaving her dark brown hair messier than it was before, if that is even possible. I try my best not to laugh at her again.
"Alright I'm going to go to my room for a bit before I have to go to work at 6. Do you work tonight?" I ask. Her work schedule is constantly changing every week I can never keep up.
"Yea unfortunately, I wanna call out but I can't because I have tomorrow night off to go out and I actually need to make some money for a change." She says with a groan.
"Okay then I'll see you tomorrow! Be sure to put on your best fake smile and maybe brush your hair or something or you won't be getting very many tips tonight" I tease her as I walk to my room. I turn around just in time to see her middle finger raised in the air at me with a smile on her face.
*
My evening shift at the local coffee shop blurs by as the hipster kids and sorority girls shuffle in and out throughout the evening. I found I was convincing myself that going out tomorrow night is exactly what I need to get out of this comfortable rut I have found myself in the past few months. With graduation about three months away I should probably have some actual fun before my college days come to an end even though night clubs are not exactly my idea of fun.
*
I wake to a loud pounding on my bedroom door. "Allie!!! Get up! We have to pick out an outfit for you for tonight! I have to leave for work soon! Get up! We won't have time later!" Julie continues banging on my door.
"Ugh, Jules! Give me like 10 minutes!" I groan back at my annoying best friend. She insisted last night that she had to pick out an outfit for me because I don't know what a proper "club outfit" is.
Ten minutes later I've brushed my teeth and changed into some shorts and a t-shirt. I open my bedroom door to find Julie sitting impatiently at the counter with a cup of coffee.
"Okay, come on in and let's get this over with." I say to her rolling my eyes. This is not what I want to be doing at nine am.
"Oh stop being so dramatic." Julie mumbles at me as she walks past me and into my room.
I follow behind her and sit on my bed as she starts to dig through my closet for her version of an acceptable outfit for this evening.
"Okay, so we want something sexy but also comfortable. Maybe some skinny jeans and a cute tank top. Or even a jean skirt," she says excitedly.
"Sexy. Really. You know I can't pull off sexy." I mumble at her. Does she honestly think I can be sexy. She has definitely lost it. In the thirteen years she has known me I have never been sexy. I don't even own anything that could be considered sexy.
"Yes, sexy. You have the curves all you're missing is the attitude Al."
I don't have the first clue on how to come off as sexy, but I have a feeling Julie is going to teach me. This was such a bad idea. I can already tell that tonight is going to be a disaster.
Twenty minutes later I'm standing in front of my closet staring at myself in the floor length mirror in one of Julies jean skirts that rests nicely on my hips and stops a few inches above my knees and only makes me slightly uncomfortable. She has paired her jean skirt with one of my low-cut white tank tops and a pair of short strappy black heels. Lucky for me it has been a warm winter and it only gets into the mid-sixties right now at night here in Georgia. Especially considering Julie told me I am not allowed to wear the gray cardigan I tried to put over the tank top.
"So? What do you think?" Julie asks me while I stare at myself in the mirror. She's beaming, obviously proud of her work.
"Umm I like the outfit, but I'm not sure," I mumble.
She rolls her dark brown eyes at me, "Allie, you look hot trust me. You just have to own it. That is the key to being sexy, it is all about the confidence."
"Alright," I try to say with a sense of confidence, but my voice betrays me and I sound even more unsure than before.
"Shit, I have to go I am going to be late for work" Julie says as she rushes out of my room. "You look amazing! I will be back in time for us to do our hair and makeup before we leave! See you later girlie!" She yells to me before she slams the front door closed behind her.
I let out a breath I didn't notice I was holding as I look at myself once more in the mirror. My chest fills the tank top nicely threatening to overflow because of the pushup bra Julie forced me to wear even though she knows I hate wearing it because it makes my boobs look even bigger than they already are. She doesn't understand that problem seeing as she barely has any boobs. The tight tank top paired with the fitted jean skirt shows off my tiny waist and curvy hips. The jean skirt goes down just far enough to cover my full upper thighs. Overall I don't hate the outfit as much as I expected to, if I wear my long blonde hair down and maybe curl it a little I think I might be able to pull it off.
I groan staring at myself in the mirror one last time before collapsing onto my bed. I have no idea what to expect tonight I haven't been out since my freshman year. Even though Julie will be there I can already see myself sitting in the corner the whole night. I hope the night won't be a complete disaster. At least all our friends will be there and I can catch up with Emily. I push away the anxiety as I hang my outfit for tonight back up and head to take a shower.
I'm sitting on the couch buckling the straps of my black heels as Julie walks out of her room looking like a Victoria Secret model in her tight dress that leaves little to the imagination. She spent an hour doing my hair and make up after she got home from work and I spent most of that hour telling her to tone it down. It has always been that way with us. She is the one who wears full make up and heels almost everyday and I am the one who forces myself to put on eyeshadow every now and again and wears converse as much as possible. But somehow we always seem to balance each other out, she helps me step out of my comfort zone and I keep her from being arrested.
"See this is why I don't go out with you!" I grumble at her.
"What are you talking about? I didn't even do anything!" Julie says defensively while grabbing her matching clutch off the kitchen counter.
“You didn't have to, you just come out looking like that and when I stand next to you I look like a freakin sack of potatoes!"
"Are you kidding me!?! Look at you! I wish I had those curves! We both look great and we are ending the conversation there." Julie says annoyed at my comment.
"Whatever." I mumble back.
"You are not going to start this night pouting, so get over yourself and let's go the Uber is ready downstairs!" she says sternly. Julie is the kind of person who has no problem telling you how it is, she has been that way ever since we were kids.
The Uber ride to the club lasted barely five minutes leaving just enough time for my stomach to get queasy with nerves. The car comes to a stop in front of a building littered with people stumbling in and out of the doors. Julie says a rushed 'thank you!' to the Uber driver as she pulls me out of the car behind her.
"Come on! Everyone else is already inside!" she says as she pulls me along after her and into the crowded building. I glance at my phone it is now ten o'clock, I will stay till at least midnight and then leave I decide.
The room is so dark it is hard to see the faces of the strangers as we shove our way through the crowd to find our group of friends waiting for us. There is a slight stench of smoke in the air and my heels stick to the floor just enough for me to notice. I hate this already. Julie is aggressively pushing her way through the overly friendly crowd of strangers. I decide that my best bet is to stare at the back of her head and follow closely behind her so I don't get lost. Suddenly Julie does a high pitch squeal letting me know she has found our friends. Our usual group of friends are standing around a high top table toward the back corner of the club. There's Maya, who Julie and I met in freshman English. Julie gets along with her better than I do because they have similar personalities and Maya will go out with her any day of the week where I will not. Then there is Dylan the common frat boy with the perfect hair and teeth, wearing his usual khaki pants and button up shirt. Maya and Dylan have been dating for a little over a year now. Next to the already drunk Dylan is his best friend Sam. Sam is in the same frat as Dylan and despite being best friends, Sam is sweet, polite, and funny unlike Dylan who is usually obnoxious. Sam is much more attractive than Dylan with his light brown hair cut short and his muscular arms looking perfectly tanned in his white button up. On the other side of the table there is Tabitha and Emily. Tabitha and Maya have known each other since middle school so they are really close similar to Julie and I. Wherever Maya is, Tabitha is usually close by. I get along best with Emily out of the three girls. She is quieter than the others and although she has no problem going out and having a good time she has a lot of other priorities she is focused on as school is coming to an end. We tend to sit and talk whenever we are all hang out while everyone else is drinking and goofing off.
"No way! Allie you actually came!?!" Maya says too dramatically bringing the attention of the whole group to me. "I mean Julie said you were coming but I thought she was just joking!" Maya continues with an annoying giggle and I force myself not to roll my eyes at her.
"Good to see you too Maya. Can someone point me in the direction of the bar please." I say to hopefully change the topic. I am going to definitely need a drink to get me through this night.
"I was just about to go get myself a drink if you wanna come with me?" Sam offers with a smirk making me blush like always.
"That would be great! Thanks," I say with a smile.
Sam is quiet most of the time but he is charming. And he is one of those guys who is absolutely gorgeous and has no idea.
Julie rushes over to the girls and the giggling starts instantly as Sam and I walk away from the group.
We make it to the bar with Sam only having to guide me past one group of drunk guys. Even with heels on I am still quite short making navigating the crowded club difficult as I can't see where I'm going. I order my usual crown apple and sprite, and try to refuse when Sam wants to pay for my drink but ultimately he wins as he hands the bartender cash and walks away with me following behind.
"So are you as ready for graduation as I am?" Sam awkwardly starts conversation over the loud club music as we make our way back to our group of friends. This was the usual with Sam. For a guy who is this attractive and has girls falling all over him, he always comes off awkward when we try and talk.
"Yeah I'm so excited, but also incredibly nervous. There is too many decisions still left to make," I awkwardly laugh.
"I get that. You would think that since we are finally finishing we would be less stressed out not more," Sam says with laugh.
I turn to respond catching his blue eyes, leaving me speechless. I am saved as we arrive at the table and Sam is greeted by Tabitha begging him to dance with her. She clearly already had a few drinks and Sam is too sweet to say no.
The night feels like it is dragging on forever. I'm not having a bad time but there is definitely other things I would rather be doing and on top of that Julie seems to be in a crap mood for some unknown reason so she is not making the night any better for me. It has been about an hour and a half and I've had three drinks making me just tipsy enough that my nerves have vanished.
"Jules I really have to pee!" I whine at her again.
"Okay okay, just give me a minute," She says staring at her phone.
"I've been waiting like ten. Just point me in the direction of the bathroom. I will just go by myself," I say back irritated as I sway back and forth to help with my urgent need to pee.
"Okay fine, go towards the bar and to the left," She instructs me without look away from her phone. I am trying not to get annoyed at her but she begged me to come out and has barely said two words to me since we got here.
"Thank you!" I say dragging the words out dramatically.
I make it to the bathroom without any issues to my surprise considering the three drinks I have had and the crowd seeming to have grown in the last hour. Luckily there is only one girl in line and I don't have to wait long. I wash my hands and check my make up in the mirror surprised it still looks almost perfect. I walk out of the bathroom and reach down pulling the hem of my skirt further down my legs as I walk.
"Ugh fuck!" I mumble as I collide with something solid and liquid pours down my skirt and legs.
"Oh shit! Sorry!" I hear a thick English accent respond.
I look up to find bright green eyes staring directly into mine. They are slightly covered by a mop of beautiful dark brown curls. His eyes stay locked on mine so intently that I have to look away so he can't see me blush under his gaze.
"It's fine. It was my fault I wasn't paying attention." I say faster than I intended as I wipe at my skirt.
"Wait a minute, let me uhh...." the handsome stranger starts to say as he looks around and then disappears and reappears with a rag from the bar.
"Here, I'm really sorry," He says again holding his hand out to me with the rag in it.
I take a second to glance at the tattoos covering most of his left arm. Quickly dragging my attention back to the liquid running down my legs I grab the rag hoping he didn't notice my staring. I wipe at the remainder of whatever he had in his cup off my legs and look up to find him staring again.
"Thanks," I mumble quietly despite the loud music as I hand him back the rag. My cheeks feel like they are burning, partially from the alcohol in my system and partially from his staring.
“The least I could do. I'm Harry," He says with a smile revealing large dimples in his cheeks while holding out his empty right hand for me to shake. I stare at his outstretched hand for a minute before grabbing it.
"Allie, nice to meet you. Sort of," I say returning his smile and taking his hand in mine. His large hand makes mine feel even smaller.
"Allie." he repeats with a smirk. His accent making it sound beautiful while his eyes continue to stare into mine making my stomach flutter. I am so happy I downed that third drink or his stare alone would have made me a mumbling mess by now.
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Rio & Buster
Rio: I miss you so much Buster: I miss you too Buster: More than I knew I would Rio: Won't take that too personally, babe 😜 Rio: but seriously, before it was like, this was normal and you being here was the novelty but then I got used to being together everyday Buster: We spoiled ourselves, babe. I wasn't mad about it at the time but like Rio: I know Rio: 😔 Buster: I've been in such a mood since you left, it's a good thing my dad is barely here Rio: Baby Rio: has he spoke to you about any of it yet Buster: Yeah but you can guess how it went without me having to tell you, I'm sure Buster: In essence he's glad to have his house back Buster: Used to only having girls of mine around for the night, like Rio: Yeah, I mean Rio: can't blame him Rio: even if I'd rather be there still but Buster: I reckon Indie was a bit much for him, me and Nance weren't ever like that Buster: No offense to the kid meant Rio: Such 👼s Buster: You know Buster: Golden boy for a reason, babe Buster: Do all my sinning out of doors Rio: Ain't nobody been indoors to tell her init Buster: I told him the score Buster: There won't be any drama if she comes back again Rio: It's alright Rio: She needs to get back to normal here now Rio: Same, I guess Buster: How is it over there? Tell me Rio: Honestly I've just been trying to hide in my room Rio: 'cos once one of them knows they all will Rio: such a bombardment Buster: Yeah Buster: Gotta do it while you can 'cause once the birthdays and shit start there'll be no chance Buster: Is Indie staying with you or what? Rio: Ugh Rio: don't remind me Rio: and the baby, she's late so vague hysteria setting in Rio: Yeah, thank fuck Buster: I don't envy you at all Buster: Anything I can do to distract you, you know I will Rio: You better Rio: putting that in the vows 😉 Buster: Yeah? What else you gonna say? Rio: Spoilers Rio: You know you cutest when you blush Buster: You're cutest when you just wake up and I'm mad I don't get to see that now Rio: I'll send you all the #iwokeuplikedis selfies you want Buster: Don't tease me, babe Buster: Don't say it if you're playing Rio: 'Course I'm not Rio: even if I'm gonna work my angles and lighting to my advantage still Rio: my prerogative, can't have you getting 😬 Buster: Shut up Rio: Wish you could make me Buster: Christ, me too Buster: I already wanna come see you Rio: When is your next break? Buster: Not soon enough Rio: I can always come back Rio: for a weekend or something Rio: I'll get a hotel, like, don't worry Unc Buster: We'll figure it out Buster: I do have a reading week coming up soon so as long as I study too Rio: Yeah, I don't wanna distract you further Rio: I mean I do but also Buster: Gotta meet the fam's newest addition, there's my excuse Rio: Take pics for me Rio: you know I ain't being allowed in with flowers Buster: That's what my sister's for Buster: I'll bring you flowers instead Rio: Stop being cute Buster: I know that ain't what you want Rio: But it makes me miss you more Buster: I need you to miss me Buster: 'Cause I gotta miss you Rio: Trust me, I do Buster: How did we do this for so long before? Buster: Seriously Rio: I don't know Rio: Shouldn't have put a 💍 on it Buster: Shhh Rio: Maybe I wait to drop the bomb when this baby finally gets here Rio: distraction is our best friend Buster: Good luck, babe Buster: Unless she's born tomorrow I reckon its unlikely Buster: Unless you're gonna take the ring off Rio: Get Drew back 'round to fuck it outta her Buster: Not a mental image I need, cheers babe Rio: Alright, curry it is then Buster: I reckon my aunt fucking Drew again is more likely Buster: But you know Rio: Damn Rio: Too real Buster: Fuck thinking about either of them Buster: How's the job hunt going? Rio: Not gone out yet Rio: I know, I know Rio: I'm moping Buster: Baby Rio: I will Rio: but Buster: What can I do to motivate you? Tell me Rio: 😏 Buster: Come on Buster: Use your words Rio: Ugh Rio: I love it when you talk to me like that Buster: I mean it Buster: No more moping Rio: I promise Rio: I'm gonna make you proud of me Buster: I know you will Buster: I already am but shhh 'cause I'm doing tough love right now Rio: 🤤 Buster: I dread to think how much privacy you don't have Buster: It's not even hot it's just annoying Rio: Idk, being a moody cow since I got back has kept everyone keeping distance Rio: not saying you were right or anything Buster: You can say it Rio: It definitely has its perks Buster: Yeah Rio: but cuddling with you right now in this bed would definitely be appreciated Buster: You in mine would be even better 'cause I know we'd be alone for hours yet Rio: The things we could achieve in that time Rio: No slacking there, that would motivate me Buster: It'd distract me shamelessly but I wouldn't be mad about it Rio: I could crack the whip too Rio: it's not like you've actually fallen behind, right? Buster: Nah 'cause not 😇 Buster: course* Rio: Bit hypocritical coming from us but like, calm down then? Getting mad n stressed about things that haven't even happened Buster: 😂 Rio: We've got shit handled, right baby? Buster: Always Rio: Good Rio: Getting my 'fuck everyone else' mentality set for when the inevitable Buster: If you need any tips, like Buster: Borrow my 👑 Rio: 😏 I know, my baby invented that shit Buster: Probably my parents but we don't need to tell anyone that Buster: Least of all them Rio: I mean, obviously gonna need the reminder that they should be our biggest fans but Rio: I don't wanna be the messenger on that one 💀 Buster: I'll do it Buster: Not giving a fuck, remember Rio: I'll remember you always, babe Buster: Don't Buster: You're so cute Rio: I love you, you know Rio: no matter what any of 'em want to say, can't be changed Buster: I love you so fucking much Buster: And I'm gonna marry you one day even if nobody else turns up to the ceremony and its just us Rio: Good Rio: Me too, I actually don't care Rio: I do but if anyone's trying to make it a choice then I'm choosing you over keeping them happy because you matter more Buster: Exactly Rio: I wonder if Edie will turn up when the baby's here Buster: I doubt she'll bring gifts and claim she was guided by a star, like Rio: Alright Rio: true but don't kill my hope out the gate like that Rio: I'm hoping morbid curiosity gets the better of her if nothing else Buster: Sorry, babe Rio: One person I would've liked to see when I walked in the door Rio: soz everyone else Buster: They can't fault you for that even if they might want to for some other shit Rio: Even if she's probably gonna swing on sight, like Buster: I reckon that's a given Buster: But I also know you can handle it Rio: Not like I have a choice, if she hates me she does but it's preferrable to this Buster: You can't still believe she actually hates you Rio: Of course she does Rio: I tried to bone her Da, in her eyes Rio: she had a fucked enough head re. all things him and I made it worse Buster: She loves you, that's why it hurts her Buster: If she hated you she'd be here fronting it out Rio: If only it were that simple, babe Buster: Come on Buster: I ain't saying that's all it is but it's part of it Buster: And its what's gonna let you fix it Rio: Whatever it is Rio: I just wish she'd come back for the others Buster: She ain't gonna stay away for ever Rio: Good luck Buster: Watch her roll in when we all least expect it Rio: I get why she pisses Indie off so much Rio: like, I also get why she does what she does but fucking hell Buster: Yeah Rio: Distract me Rio: I don't wanna think about this anymore either Buster: Think about me Buster: [sends gym selfies] Rio: Thanks baby Rio: the amount that actually helps is telling 😂 Buster: Course it does Buster: I did a heavy work out like Rio: I can tell Rio: Jesus, you're hot Buster: I had to distract myself too Buster: I had so many dreams about you I didn't even wanna move Rio: Gotta take those frustrations out somewhere, right? Rio: Where I'm going wrong, I'm still laying here so frustrated Buster: Well you could work out Buster: Or Buster: Work it out another way Rio: Will you show me how Rio: I need your help Buster: Poor baby Buster: 'Course I will Rio: Seriously Rio: I'm in such a state without you daddy Buster: I bet you are Rio: [Video] See? Rio: I can't do this without you Buster: You really have gotten yourself into a mess haven't you, angel Buster: What are we gonna do with you? Rio: I don't know, what are you gonna do to me, daddy? Buster: I'm about the hands on approach so we're gonna have to get yours out of the way first of all Buster: Need you to focus on me and what I'm trying to teach you Rio: [Pic to show she's done it] Rio: I'm so ready to listen and learn Buster: Good Buster: No half measures, yeah? Rio: No half measures Buster: You're so well behaved Rio: Does that make you happy, daddy? Am I doing a good job? Buster: See me after class for that extra credit Buster: Earning that A* easily Rio: You're such a good teacher Buster: What you gonna have waiting on my desk for me to say thanks? Rio: If I say me will you get mad, sir? Rio: I just wanna show you how much I appreciate all that you've taught me in person Buster: Do you think I should be mad at you? Buster: It sounds like you are just trying to be good Rio: Really good Buster: Okay then start slow, you've gotta be patient, babe I know it's hard Rio: Take me time, I remember Rio: but it feels so good, I want more Buster: I know you do but trust me Rio: I do Rio: you know what's best for me, you always make me feel better Buster: And if I was there I'd be worshiping every inch of you, wouldn't I? That's what you need to do Rio: If you could convince me to get up from off my knees Rio: You want me to make all the noises I would if you were here, baby? Buster: We both know I have in it in me to be that persuasive Buster: Slow but intense, yeah? Buster: Give it everything you've got, vocals included Rio: Okay Rio: Fuck Buster: One finger is all you're allowed first, don't be rushing through this Rio: but daddy Buster: You can add more when you I say you can Buster: You're here to learn, right? Rio: Yes, sir Rio: Sorry, sir Rio: Please can I spank myself, just once, because I deserve it Buster: Okay, you are being good enough Rio: I won't leave any marks Rio: because it's yours and only you're allowed to do that Buster: Well remembered Rio: How could I forget Rio: I can still feel that lesson Buster: I wish we could go over it again anyway Buster: Soon though Rio: You promise? Buster: I swear, baby Buster: You know I need you Rio: Does it hurt for you too, daddy? Buster: So badly Rio: Me too Rio: it's the kinda hurt only you can make better Buster: I'm right here, baby Buster: I know what you need Buster: You can do it, no more teasing, I promise Rio: Yeah? Rio: Please can you make yourself cum with me so I can imagine you're doing it inside me Rio: that's what I need Buster: Together, yeah? Buster: I want that too Rio: You've got me so close Buster: [sends pics] Buster: Look how you've got me Rio: 😻 Rio: Why aren't you inside of me right now Buster: Close your eyes and I am Rio: Are you using the toy I got you? Buster: You know it, babe Rio: Good Rio: Fuck I'm making so much noise Buster: Me too Buster: I can't stop Rio: Don't stop Rio: Lose control for me Buster: Jesus Rio: Tell me how good it feels Buster: It's so fucking Buster: My god Rio: So soft and tight 'round your thick cock yeah? Rio: Almost like the real thing Buster: Nothing makes me feel as good as you but Rio: 'Course not Rio: it's like we were made for each other you feel so right Buster: We were baby Buster: That's why I don't want anyone else however long I have to wait for you Rio: Keep talking like that Rio: I'm gonna cum for you Buster: I love you and I'll always love you Rio: Oh my God Rio: Buster Buster: Just me and you forever, Rio Buster: That's all we need Rio: For fucking ever Rio: I'm going to marry you Buster: Fuck Rio: I love you so fucking much Buster: I can't stop thinking about that ring on your finger while you're fucking yourself for me Rio: Baby Rio: You like seeing that I'm yours? Buster: I love it Buster: I love you Rio: You're so good you're so good Buster: It's you babe, all of it Rio: You're mine, aren't you? Buster: I'm yours, Rio Rio: Shit Rio: It feels so strong, I'm scared to let this out Rio: I won't have any control Buster: Lose control for me too, baby Rio: For you Buster: Just for me Rio: No one else exists for me Rio: it's always been you, Buster Buster: Tell me again Rio: You're the only one I've ever wanted Buster: Oh fuck Rio: I'd always think about you, anyone else I'd been with Rio: even if I tried to stop myself, I couldn't help it, my brain always went there, back to you Buster: I know Buster: I felt it too you know that, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: you wanted me so bad Buster: The only girl I did want Rio: It drove me insane thinking I would never get to have you Rio: more than that kiss Buster: I'd get to have you every night but not like this Buster: Not real enough Rio: That's so fucking hot Rio: I wanna make every fantasy you had about me whilst you were fucking yourself real Buster: Only if I can for you too Buster: I'll never forget what it was like to first touch you or taste you Buster: I thought I'd die Buster: I'd have been happy to Buster: 'Cause that's what heaven is. You are Rio: You're literally perfection, a dream come to life Rio: I feel so lucky I get to spend my life with you Buster: Baby Rio: Yes? Buster: I just Buster: I don't have any words left Rio: Then stop talking and cum for me Rio: I know you need to, moan for me Buster: I have to Buster: It's so loud but I don't care Rio: Let them know who you belong to baby, who got you like this Buster: I'll get over being able to say your name like this Buster: As much as I need to Buster: never* (thats hilarious me just changing the meaning with my typos like) Rio: You don't need to, it's my favourite sound Rio: I intend to make you make it every day Buster: Promise? Rio: Promise Rio: You're so beautiful, Buster, you know that Buster: You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen Buster: Not just girl, anything Rio: I know you mean that Rio: and I love you Buster: I really fucking love you Rio: I can't wait to be your wife Buster: Soon, baby Rio: Yeah? Tell me about it Buster: I'm gonna make you happier than you ever reckoned you could feel Buster: Give you everything Rio: Yes baby Buster: And I'll wear a ring too and everyone will know that I belong as much to you as you do to me Buster: We won't have to be apart again ever Rio: You're making me cum, oh fuck please I feel like I'm gonna pass out this is so fucking good, don't stop Buster: I'm gonna make you cum every day, as many times as I can Buster: I won't ever stop Rio: I'm begging you fuck every hole I have they all belong to you every inch of me is yours forever Buster: Jesus fucking Christ Buster: Please Rio: Oh God Daddy I'm sucking on my fingers because I taste so sweet Rio: I wish they were yours and I wish you could taste me too Buster: If I don't stop moaning soon my voice is gonna go I want you to know that Buster: and God, I just want you Rio: I'm sorry daddy I'm just such a dirty little whore for you Buster: Cum for me now Buster: Cum with me Rio: I've never been this loud Buster: You're so fucking hot Rio: It really is all for you Buster: Tell me Rio: Everything I do is to turn you on Rio: to make you want me Rio: so you'll fuck me so good like you do and make me cum over and over and over Buster: Babe you're so Buster: I can't Rio: Good can't? Buster: The best Rio: That's alright then Buster: Never stop Rio: I promise babe Buster: You're so perfect Buster: Fuck me Rio: Soon Buster: I can't wait to be with you all the time Buster: I'm gonna buy us a house and fuck you in every square inch Rio: That's all I want Buster: All our neighbours are gonna know us Buster: If you think you're being loud right now, you aren't Buster: Not compared to how its gonna be Rio: Fuck, baby Rio: I might die Rio: every time I think you can't make me cum any more than you have you prove me wrong Buster: I know that's how you wanna go Buster: We can go together Buster: Starting right here Rio: As far as death pacts go, pretty fucking sexy Rio: suck it, Romeo and Juliet Buster: The only way my competitive streak will have it Rio: Works for me Rio: not up for living without you really, if we're taking it to this morbid place Buster: You don't have to Buster: I'm not going anywhere Buster: Not without you Rio: Keep this on the downlow though, babe, the engagement is enough for 'em to handle Buster: If what's mine is yours then that includes my life Buster: Technically Rio: Interesting, like to see you argue it in court for some black widow Rio: not just 'cos you'd be hot and I gotta keep my eye on her Buster: I know you would Rio: Just very interested in the judicial system, thanks Buster: Okay, babe Rio: 😒 Buster: When I get to uni I'll take you to library Buster: You'll love it Buster: Once I get started reading from those law books then you'll properly understand what horny feels like, right? Rio: Mmm Rio: Shut up 😣 Buster: You're so cute Rio: I can't help it Rio: I like seeing you get passionate about things Rio: and you're very persuasive, as you mentioned Buster: I really am gonna fuck you all over that campus Rio: 🤤 Rio: Better than joining a wanky society Buster: Better than anything they could offer me, honestly Buster: You know how you make me feel Rio: Leave that off the personal statement though Rio: Probably be into it, love some self-confidence for a chance Buster: It's gotten me this far, like Rio: Can't say better than that, I reckon Buster: Exactly Rio: Who else can say they're fucking me? Buster: Cunts can try and say it but I'd call bullshit Buster: You're mine Rio: Yep Rio: Totally yours Buster: I know a lot of things are shit right now and I probably shouldn't say this but I'm really happy Rio: I feel it too Rio: usually feeling happy just feels stupid like bitch wait and see but even though I know some things are bad now and there's potentially more to come Rio: it still feels right Buster: Yeah Buster: Like whatever happens I don't have to handle it on my own so it won't be that bad anyway Rio: You don't have to, ever again Rio: that's a serious vow Buster: I'll make the same one to you Buster: Right fucking now Buster: Whatever you need babe, whenever Rio: I know Rio: it feels good, doesn't it Buster: Literally the best Buster: I've always told myself I can do anything, like you've met my parents, kind of a given, but I properly believe it when I'm with you Rio: Good Rio: 'cos you can Buster: You too, angel Rio: I feel it Rio: I'm not saying I've got everything worked out magically but Rio: I actually do believe you Buster: Good, 'cause I said I'd motivate you Buster: I'm not trying to fail at it Rio: I reckon you're good 😏 Rio: add another win to the tally, like Buster: Will do Buster: But if we're keeping score don't forget to add your own points Rio: Oh yeah? How'd I do in the end? Buster: I've never cum so hard or so much without you actually being here before Rio: I'll take it Rio: 'til we're back together, like Buster: It makes missing you a little bit easier Buster: For today at least Rio: Yeah Rio: you know I'm always here Rio: we'll get through it Buster: Yeah Buster: I know you are and we will Rio: You'll be done before you know it Rio: we should go away, in the summer Buster: Great idea Buster: Especially now we can acknowledge we're in the same place together, like Rio: 😂 Rio: I worry how none of them could piece that shit together Buster: They didn't wanna Buster: Simple as Rio: Can't relate Rio: too nosy for that Buster: You're the only one who can get away with telling me what to do though Buster: If any of the rest of the fam tried it they know what'd happen so Buster: Even when it ain't something as important as this Rio: Yeah Rio: I promise to only use my power for good Rio: mostly Buster: I was gonna say Buster: Please be bad sometimes, like Rio: Good for us Rio: same thing Buster: Yeah Buster: Do I need to use my powers of sending a fancy fruit basket to your fam for what they just heard from your room? Rio: 😳 Rio: Send me one too for sustenance because I can never leave this room again now Buster: Poor baby Buster: I'll send you everything you could possibly need Buster: and add some earplugs for the rest of them Rio: So thoughtful Buster: Who's actually home? Like how much damage control are we talking about? Rio: Can't say I checked before starting Rio: idek, hopefully they were all very busy somewhere else Buster: I'll cross my fingers for you, babe Rio: Whatever Rio: it was too good to feel too bad about Buster: No argument there Buster: Someone could have literally walked in and I wouldn't have been able to stop Rio: Shh don't say that Rio: Gonna turn me on all over again Buster: Sorry but its true Rio: Not that sorry Rio: Add it to the fantasies list Buster: Noted Buster: I should shower, the state of me Rio: I should join you Rio: Video chat? Buster: You're full of good ideas, aren't you? Rio: It's been said
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