#have you ever consistently & optimistically thought of non-rejection reasons for behavior and found yourself at

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the best way I know of to eat ice cream:

1. fill a mug about 1/3 full with frozen fruit  2. microwave  3. ice cream on top

you can add peanut butter.  you can add maple syrup.  supermarket peanut butter goes on top of the fruit before you put the ice cream on.  if you have artisan peanut butter, it goes on top of the ice cream as a topping, and it hardens a little as it gets cold.  when you hold the mug, the bottom feels warm and the top feels cold, & you’re probably going to eat the ice cream creation fast enough that it will be both warm and cold.  I feel like there isn’t anything particularly ‘clever’ in this but i feel like i always underestimated how straightforward it is to upgrade my ice cream experience & how just a little bit of extra effort doesn’t have to be a special occasion thing

#do you ever wonder if the common advice to think of non-rejection reasons for behavior when ppl appear to be rejecting you #is important and insightful but incomplete? #do you ever consider how important connection acceptance and belonging are for survival? #do you ever frown at humorous observations that our minds & bodies still think we have to protect ourselves from tigers #at the idea that anxieties are a quaint & charming & fairly useless byproduct of humanity outgrowing evolution too quickly #an archaic alarm system that only gets in the way #when not having connections can leave you homeless and starving even in this 'safe' modern world without tigers? #when not having emotional needs met can be its own kind of torture whether you have material needs met or not? #when you can't have connection at all unless at least one person accepts you? #would anything be different or better if you recognized fear of rejection as fear of not being able to survive #have you ever consistently & optimistically thought of non-rejection reasons for behavior and found yourself at #a crocodile pit at the end of a path with 37 signs that say 'crocodiles ahead; turn back maybe' #would anything be different or better if; instead of carving 'my friends and social groups never hate me i only think they do' #into the cement of your outlook before it dries #you asked yourself; how can I cultivate support; which rejections represent a blow to a foundation of something and which #rejections are not connected to my safety and stability & may feel bad but do not represent a personal crisis #if i expect someone to support me in some way how can i reciprocate? #how can i set a foundation for checking in abt little worries before they get bigger & can i forgive similar little worries in others? #if a foundation i thought was safe becomes unsafe how will i begin again #what signs do i look for that a relationship is safe so inevitable little 'does that tone of voice mean rejection' questions #get weighted less heavily when i wonder if i'm safe? #and even; how can I see some but not all hurtful behaviors as mainly other ppl protecting their own survival needs #protecting their energy from the tigers that arent tigers that their anxieties beg them for safety from #what a relief to consider 12 possible reasons someone could be acting like X that DON'T mean that they hate you #AND 12 reasons you're being intentional & self-compassionate about your own connection needs no matter what #ppl are gonna be at different stages of journeys & ppl are gonna need different things; if this isnt useful or relevant it doesnt have to be #I brought my neighbor some on sale baked goods from the gas station bc its a pandemic & I worry we're all not connecting enough #& I've been hearing her talking to her pets all day #maybe its all just a connection economy and that's it