#have affected me and it’s like I know that I shouldn’t let how they live their life affect mine

[your-bestamericangirl]

Tolerate It.

Paige Bueckers x reader || next: n/a || masterlist

(there will be a pt 2!!)

notes: ANGST , ooc paige cuz obviously she isn't this mean, also not really a lot of paige sorry- sorta setting it up for the caitlin picking up the pieces in the second part.

now playing: tolerate it by taylor swift

(Y/n) would not do this to herself again. The warmth that once kissed her features had long since burned out. Her head hung low, eyes tracing the trail of melted wax pooling under the once-lit candle. Each droplet seemed to echo the tears she dared not shed.

How long had it been? The streetlights pouring in through the windows had been the only thing capable of illuminating the empty chair. Unfortunately, that allowed (Y/n) to continue to remind herself that someone was supposed to be sitting across from her.

Her absence was equally overwhelming as her presence. She sat atop a pedestal of achivements. Before, they had been equals, minds intertwined through a delicate thread of gold. Eventually, she rose too far for (Y/n) to reach.

As (Y/n) stared into the flickering flame, the room felt suffocatingly silent. The oppressive stillness was broken only by the faint hum of the streetlights outside, casting long shadows that danced across the walls. The empty chair stood as a silent reminder of her absence, its weight pressing down on (Y/n) 's heart like a leaden anchor.

It seemed as though now, Paige only tolerated her love.

The click of an unlocked door echoed throughout their shared apartment, bouncing off the walls.

Steps sounded, their treads light, careful not to disturb the sleeping night.

(Y/n) kept her gaze locked on the wall ahead, lest her tears fell as she found Paige’s blameless eyes.

“You didn’t have to wait for me, baby.”

“You shouldn’t have kept me waiting.”

Paige’s face carried no regret. Her eyes shut, breath from the depths of her lungs was let out in a sigh. 

From her seat, (Y/n) craned her neck upwards to meet Paige’s unbothered gaze. She searched within Paige’s eyes, there laid not even a hint of remorse.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, (Y/n) .” 

She felt the weight of Paige's words like a physical blow, knocking the breath from her lungs. The ache in her chest deepened, a gnawing emptiness that threatened to consume her whole. She struggled to find her voice, to articulate the storm of emotions raging within her.

"You don't know?" (Y/n) 's voice rang with a mixture of hurt and indignation. "Of course you wouldn’t know how it feels to wait for someone."

Paige's expression remained impassive, unmoved by (Y/n) 's pain. It was a familiar sight, one that she had grown accustomed to over time. The realization only fuelled the bitterness welling up inside her. Wood gathered under her nails, scratched off as she gripped the table. Whether it be for stability or out of anger.

"I'm tired of waiting for scraps of affection, Paige," (Y/n) 's voice wavered, betraying the depth of her despair. "Why can’t you see me."

For a moment, there was silence, broken only by the steady rhythm of their breathing. In the dim light of the room, (Y/n) could see the weariness etched into Paige's features, a reflection of her own exhaustion. She always wondered how Paige could be so oblivious to her pleas for affection. 

Long ago, Paige had thrown her weight onto (Y/n) , overwhelming her senses all at once. Perhaps dulling out what their relationship really meant. When Paige suddenly stopped reciprocating anything, (Y/n) had been thrown off balance. Where had the longing gazes departed to? The warmth coursing through both their veins turned cold. Though it had been evident who was was capable of living that way.

"I know," Paige finally spoke, her voice soft but devoid of warmth. "And I'm sorry."

Eyes shut, (Y/n) scoffed. “So?” She questioned, surely that wasn’t all Paige had to say.

It was all she ever did. Early on, (Y/n) worshiped those little apologies. Welcoming them as they had been all she had wanted to hear from her lover. Soon enough, it had been clear that Paige was accustom to using empty words.

And so, (Y/n) found herself trapped in a cycle of longing and despair, unable to escape the crushing weight of her unrequited affection. 

“I said I was sorry. What more do you want?” At this point Paige stood, exasperated and defensive. Her eyes turned sower, expression twisted as she took in the state of (Y/n) before her. 

“Where did you go?” (Y/n) questioned, her voice down to a whisper.  As the candle burned low, casting eerie shadows that danced like ghosts in the darkness, (Y/n) knew she would not do this to herself again. But the ache in her heart, the echo of her lover's absence, remained as a haunting reminder of what she had lost.

“Why are you so sensitive? I just came back from Em’s, calm down.” The answer shot out, burrying it’s resentment into (Y/n) ’s gut and spreading throughout her blood.

“No, Paige,” At last, the table became stained with tears. Ever so slowly, (Y/n) ’s heart broke. “Did you ever love me?”

(Y/n) s heart sank as she waited for an answer that would never come. The silence stretched between them, heavy with unspoken words and shattered dreams. With a heavy heart, she rose from her seat, her gaze lingering on Paige's impassive form for a moment longer before turning away.

As she stepped out into the cool night air, (Y/n) felt a weight lift from her shoulders, a sense of liberation washing over her like a cleansing tide. The streets were deserted, bathed in the soft glow of the streetlights overhead. 

The night air was cool against her skin. (Y/n) breathed it in deeply, letting go of the pain and disappointment that had held her captive for so long. 

She left behind the empty promises and broken dreams of her past. She walked with her head held high, her heart filled with hope for the possibilities that lay ahead. And as she disappeared into the night, leaving behind the echoes of a love that was never meant to be, she knew that she was finally free.

a/n: OKAY HOPE YALL LIKED IT (may or may not be based off of my own experiences-) sorry for not that much Paige, but send in more requestssss LOVE YALL MWAH

#paige bueckers x reader #paige bueckers #paige bueckers headcannon #wlw #uconn huskies #wlw fic #writing #x reader #uconn wbb #nika muhl

[dazai-ritualist]

BURNT OUT

— love comes in different forms; some are passionate, and some are quiet. and, some loves are meant to burn out

— this is so me and my ex friends core xx

out of all the positions in hell to be, being the lover of the radio demon isn’t so bad. he’s quite the gentleman and very kind. he gives you everything you need— materialistic desires, home cooking with his own recipes, even his love.

but, his love— it doesn’t feel real. or moreso, it doesn’t feel genuine. from the people in your lives; love is supposed to be fiery, passionate, and strong. yet, alastor’s love is quiet, but undying. every touch gave you butterflies, yet there was no passion in his fingertips when he’d hold you close. he didn’t treat you differently from how he treats others, why? did he just not see you as worthy of special treatment? of his affection? as stupid as it sounds, you felt neglected and tossed aside like a little lost puppy.

still, you stayed. ‘he just doesn’t know how to show it, it’s okay.’ you always thought. and while true, it started to get harder to reason with the part of you desperate for his time, his story behind the man, his everything. you tried to reach out— hold him and let him be vulnerable, but he refused. after all, alastor is a dignified man, he wouldn’t cry in front of anyone. he has to always keep that calm demeanor of his.

in the end, you started to lash out, picking disagreements with alastor, because ‘if he’s arguing with me, he must care for me to some extent. right..?’. everyday, there’d be another small thing that you’d be angry at. and at the end of it all, everything blew up in your face when you yelled out those three words— ‘i hate you.’

you didn’t mean it, you don’t hate alastor. you just… yearn for him so much, it makes you angry. and, that in turn, makes you think you hate him. “do you now? what is it about me that you loathe so much?” alastor mused, raising an eyebrow at you.

“ugh!” you grunted, your mind running paces as you tried to think of something to say. “didn’t i tell you before, dear? i am a demon to my soul, no amount of love from you could ever change that.” he spat out, almost coldly. “well, you’re right! is that what you want to hear?!” you rolled your eyes. “you’re right, alastor! i couldn’t fix you, i shouldn’t have even fucking tried!” you glared at him, desperately hoping that he has something to say.

“are you done now?” he asked, tilting his head.

“no, i’m not done!” you stomped towards him, coldly staring him in the eye as you vented out all your frustrations. “is that all that matters to you— the fact that you’re right?! i fell in love with you, for god’s sake! you shouldn’t have said anything that would’ve gotten my hopes up if you were gonna let me down like this! i stayed because i thought you could learn to love, but again— you’re right, nothing can fix you!” you hissed out, tears starting to wet your face. “and, one day… someone will love me. and, that’ll make you regret losing me.” you sighed out, a weight falling off your chest, as if you’ve been freed from your shackles.

it was then that alastor held you against him, patting your back as he comforted you. yet still, it was as if he wasn’t there at all. it was faint and cold as his claws kept you close to him. “is that what has been troubling you, dear?” he asked. “no, it’s not just that. i’m done, alastor.” you sniffed through your tears. and from your words, he seemingly tensed. “why the sudden change of heart?” alastor asked.

you stared at him in disbelief, did he believe that after all you’ve said, this was just another quarrel? “for someone so smart and collected, you’re kind of stupid when it comes to this stuff.” you said. alastor sucked a breath through his teeth, as if holding his anger back. “i just can’t keep pretending we’ll work. it’s clear we’re not made to love each other, we both still have things from our past that we need to deal with. and, let’s face it— we can’t recover from this. we’re done.”

“i see.” alastor said, his tone uncharacteristically glum and cold despite the smile on his face. his grip on you loosened as he let you go. “you were a wonderful experience, alastor.” you sighed out. “i don’t… hate you at all, i was just angry. and even though we aren’t meant for each other, there’ll always be a part of me that loves you.”

alastor stared at you, amused by your words. “hm. well, that is just darling of you. i will still try to keep you alive, i suppose it is my job after all, ahahaha!” he laughed as you awkwardly stepped away from alastor’s touch.

and, though you yearn for each other, there’s no use in trying to ignite a flame that’s been burnt out.

#you were a wonderful experience!!! YOU WERE… EVERYTHING #written w ppl in mind xx #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor #alastor x reader #alastor hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #hasbin alastor #alastor hazbin x reader #alastor hc #alastor headcanons #alastor the radio demon

[cloverwoodss]

I forgot SAD (Seasonal Affective Depression) is a thing.

Yesterday and today I’ve been feeling so down and emotional. Like I feel decent but at the same time I’m on a thin line of almost bawling my ass off from the smallest of things.

It’s because it’s been hot.

Yesterday and today it was so hot I was sweating and I forgot how much the heat and Sun depresses me.

Majority of people have the opposite, rain and cold makes them depressed. I have the less widely ‘popular’ one where the Sun and heat causes it. It’s the same disorder but different spectrum!

I got so use to being happier with months of cold and rain I forgot how debilitating it can be…

I don’t know if I can handle Cali heat this year :[[[[ I already feel like death.

#seasonal affective depression #I want to live elsewhere so badly #Blog in the Woods #you have no idea how awful it feels when you see people complain about the rain #Like you know it shouldn’t make you upset but it does #like I’m not going to tell them not to complain because they’re just opposite of me but seeing so much hate on something that is #like the life in my veins is like so upsetting in the stupidest way #I can’t even look in the Seasonal affective depression tag because of it #all the talk about how summer is almost here is uugghhhh #please no #clouds come back #you’re too beautiful to hide #rain please return and let me feel the chill of your love #let me bundle up and enjoy the feeling of coming inside after being in the cold #the warmth on my cheeks as my body temp starts to level out again #sharing warmth with your pet or with a SO #bundling up with the cutest softest blankets #I want to see my breath as I breath outside #I want all of that and so much more #I’m so fucking sad

[aureatchi]

“I GET LOST INSIDE ALL THE STARS IN YOUR EYES, IT’S A GALAXY.” ft. dazai, chuuya, ranpo, nikolai, sigma

— how do the bsd men kiss you? (& other things.)

a/n. rev writes this knowing well she’s awkward w physical touch ‘n has never kissed a guy. hdjshsh.

info. fem!reader. fluff !! + a bit sugg. established relationships. kissing, making out. mentions of bsd s5ep11 spoilers for dazai. pinch of angst if you squint.

DAZAI loves to listen to you ramble. he loves listening to you pour out your mind’s lively ideas to him out loud, whether it’d be something super philosophical that could match even his intellect, or something insignificant like the tv show you were watching last night before you fell asleep, waiting for him to come home. he is fascinated by anything and everything you say—so much, he wants to shroud the part of your body that speaks with love.

Which, of course, applied when Dazai finally returned to you from Meursault, after what had seemed like himself or you trying to cross the infinite sea of time.

You ran towards Dazai, his face clear and unhidden from the full moon’s light. He stood there with the biggest smile on his face, waiting for you to wrap your arms around his neck and envelope his taller figure in your embrace, but oh, he shouldn’t assume and expect loving gestures so quickly.

Instead, he was met with a fist to his chest, a punch with quite some power packed into it. Not enough to actually hurt him, of course, but Dazai would react dramatically either way.

“O-Ow! Bella!? What was that for?”

He looked down at you, catching an emotion as intense as fire in your eyes as you met his concerned, honey-dipped ones back, realizing you were being serious. Your fist was still connected to his upper body, and he stole a quick glance to observe your state—good, she’s been taking care of herself; she hasn’t skipped her meals—before meeting your face once again.

You let him bathe in a few moments of anxious silence before you finally started shouting.

“You didn’t even warn me!”

“I had no idea where you were!”

“Do you know how scared I felt?!”

Dazai continued to stand in place, not backing away when you continued to throw feeble punches at his torso with every frustration you cried out, when tears started to fall from your eyes, and when you stopped boxing him to surrender into his chest but not holding your tongue just yet.

“You’re so stupid and insane for this one, Osamu. Prison?! And you couldn’t even get a telephone to…yknow? Call me? Talk to me? I hate y—”

“Shh.”

Dazai had cupped your face, and before you could speak anymore, he sealed his lips over yours. Immediately, you kissed him back, abandoning all anger toward him by his action.

His eyes were half-lidded as he admired how yours looked in the silver moonlight. Up close, you were encompassed in his signature smell of green tea and a hint of mint, tempting you to keep him close to you even more.

“I…missed you so much, ‘samu” you said in between kisses.

“I’ve missed you even more.” You were lifted off of your feet, legs wrapped around his waist, as Dazai continued to press his mouth onto yours. He meant what he said—he savored the feeling of your warmth on him and the taste of your lips once again after not having it for so long. And robbing you of the same bliss along with it.

“I’m so sorry. I’ll make everything up to you, love,” he whispered as your hands found their way to sift through his soft, brunette hair. “I’ll kiss you as many times as you wish.”

“I’m sure you will even when I don’t wish,” you replied as you both pulled away for air, chuckling. “You’re not sly—we both know you kiss me to shut me up.”

“And I don’t see a problem with it?” he asked, his usual smug smile returning to his face before he gently peppered your forehead next.

“No. No, I don’t either.”

CHUUYA loves to spoil you. the top mafia executive spoils you with gifts, jewelry, accessories, breakfast…lunch…dinner, you name it. he also loves to spoil you with affection. after long days at work, he is always relieved to come home to the one good and comforting person in the world.

“Welcome home, Chuuya!” you greeted as you heard the front door open, the ginger-haired entering the house.

“Whatever you’re making smells delicious, doll,” he responded in a delightful tone, probably the first time he spoke so pleasantly all day.

You smiled. “I just finished making dinner.”

He walked toward you in the kitchen, pulling you into a hug.

“What’s up?” you replied, giggling at embrace as you wrapped your arms around him in return.

“Just missed you, that’s all,” Chuuya replied. “ You’re heaven-sent, yknow.”

You felt touched by his words. “I missed you too, Chuu,” you replied. “And I’m glad you feel that way. You deserve the best, and that’s what I’m trying to be.”

“Doll, you are the best. And you deserve the best,” he responded.

“Like this.” He gently lifted the custom necklace clasped around you. It was his present for one of your anniversaries, brought from some foreign country.

“But you deserve even more than material things.” He moved hair out of your face as he looked into your eyes.

He then moved closer to your face until his lips brushed over yours, and you could feel the warmth of his face.

“Something like this,” he said and then kissed you.

Luxurious as he was, his cologne smelled the same, completely engulfing you in his world. Chuuya showed you just how much you deserved by trailing his hands down to your waist, soothingly adoring every part. Meanwhile, his cerulean eyes gazed into yours, recording how pretty you looked to save in his mind.

“You’re so beautiful, doll.”

He felt you smile against his lips. “And you’re so handsome.” You broke away and then took the hat off of Chuuya’s head.

“You’re like…the person who can pull off the fedora the best.” You placed the hat on your head, his scent even more prominent on that accessory.

“You say that, yet I think I have competition now. Y’look cute with it on too.” Chuuya smiled, approving you with his signature hat.

You placed a kiss on his cheek. “Let’s eat now before the food gets cold.”

RANPO was very high-maintenance. you had to buy him snacks, you had to give him hugs, you had to do anything in the best wishes of the world’s greatest detective or else…he’d whine. and once he started complaining, he would not back down until you gave in. yet, however childish he was, you found him cute and didn’t love ranpo any less for his call of your affection.

“Ranpo! What do you need?”

Your boyfriend had run into the bathroom where you were trying to do your makeup, currently putting lipstick on your face.

“ ‘m really hungry,” he said, obnoxiously staring at you apply the red shade to your lips.

“Hungry? Oh, the snacks are in the pantry. I thought you’d already seen them?”

“No! I don’t want them!”

“Huh?” You paused and immediately turned toward him in utter disbelief that he had just declined his favorite food.

“Are you okay, Ranpo?”

“No!” He was unanticipatedly so loud that you flinched, accidentally running the lipstick off your mouth.

“…You’re not looking for snacks?”

“No!”

“Then what do you want?!”

“You!”

There was an awkward silence, and you noticed Ranpo’s face had gone entirely the shade of your lip as he stood, pouting.

It was apparent he was embarrassed for what he just blurted out. You almost wanted to laugh.

“You could’ve just asked me!” you replied with a chuckle in your voice. “Come here.”

Ranpo trodded toward you, still visibly frustrated.

“What do you want?” you asked.

“Well, first of all, you didn’t kiss me before I left for work this morning!”

You sighed, amused that he was whining so much because of that. And how he would never directly admit what he wanted from you—always making you have to solve puzzles and guess riddles to figure him out.

But it was also incredibly endearing how Ranpo took all your affections toward him to heart, no matter how big or small they were.

“Awh, I’m sorry I missed that,” you replied. “I’ll make that up to you.”

You kissed Ranpo’s cheek, stamping a red signature on the spot. You moved to his other cheek, and then his forehead, and then everywhere in between until he was covered in your smooches.

“Look!” you turned Ranpo toward the mirror for him to see what art you’ve created on him.

“You’re forgetting one place,” he said, turning his face to look at all angles.

“Really? Where?” you asked. He surely didn’t need anymore—his whole face showed proof you touched him everywhere with your lips.

“Here stupid, duuuuh,” he responded, kissing you on the lips. He moved your back to the edge of the sink counter, and then lifted you up to sit on it.

“Hungry, are you?” you giggled as he teased you with his tongue. “I avoided that spot on purpose, stupid.”

“Who are you calling stupid, stupid?” He ran his thumb over the stain your lipstick messed up on. You could feel him smirk.

“You, stupid! It was your fault after all. And look at your face!”

“Sweetheart, if you’re calling me stupid, you are too. One, you’re just stupid, and two, you’re stupid for being with me!”

You pulled back, laughing. “If I must be stupid to be with you, then I guess I’m stupid.”

“There’s a solution! If you call me smart, it’ll make you smart.”

“Fine, Ranpo. You’re the smartest person I know in this world.”

NIKOLAI loves surprising you. he finds your sudden reactions nothing short of adorable. which is why he caught you off-guard so much, so that he could see the cute responses you made, duh? widened eyes, mini jumps, and yelps were a few things he oddly took delight in.

Which is why the jester loves to surprise you with a kiss whenever he greets you. Though, whenever he does, you receive no warning. And you never know whether he wants to give you a simple peck on the lips or a full-on makeout session. It was expected to always be unexpected.

You were walking down the hallway to your room with a basket of clean laundry when you suddenly heard the all-too-familiar cheery, charismatic voice.

“Dove being productive, hm?” he chirped.

You scanned the entire room with your eyes, but you couldn’t see Nikolai anywhere, even though there was nowhere to hide.

“Kolya?”

“Hehe…I think it’s time for a quiz time!! Where am I?

“Am I here?” You heard a swift movement to the right of you, but as you turned, nothing was there.

“Orrr, here?” Now, you felt something brush your left side, but once again, when you turned to look, you were greeted only by Casper.

“How about here?” His voice was suddenly quieter but closer, more intimate.

You felt his frame against your back.

“Kolya!” you jolted in reflex, dropping the laundry basket—not expecting Nikolai to appear right behind you—but then, he surprised you even more by turning your face to the side and crashing his lips into yours.

He was so tall that he could easily lean over you to kiss you from behind your back.

You made a muffled squeal, and in the next moment, Nikolai had you against the wall with your hands above your head.

He stared at you as if nothing else in the world mattered because he already knew the reaction he would get out of you. You felt so shy and vulnerable under his complete gaze, but Nikolai was also mean—he didn’t allow you to move an inch to save face.

He wanted to enjoy the full show.

“H-hey! You can at least blink…” you blurted out when he finally let your face go, though he immediately grabbed you again seconds after.

“Hm? What’d you say, dove?” he asked, kissing you again. Your cheeks were flushed, and your lips were so soft and tasted like candy—how could he not be greedy for more?

“You’re so cute, baby!” he exclaimed when he finally pulled back. You were panting—Nikolai showed no mercy when he wanted you to himself.

But you still smiled in return when he gently bopped you on the nose with his mouth, a stark contrast to what he just did.

“Ah, did I get carried away?” He only then noticed you out of breath. “Sorry, I just missed you so much!”

“It’s alright,” you replied, hugging him, the scent of strawberry cake lingering on his body. “Though, whatever happened to a hi; hello?”

“You’ll never get anything boring from me, dove,” Nikolai giggled. “That’s one thing I’m certain of.”

SIGMA treats you like the most precious thing in the world, a princess. you need your shoes tied? oh, he’s on the floor with the laces. you need to go somewhere? he’s driving you there. you want to visit the sky casino? he would rig all the games so that you’d win every time. sigma is sweet and polite—he would always make sure you are fine with something before going ahead with it.

“How about here? I think this is a nice spot.”

“Okay! Let’s set our stuff here then.”

You and Sigma set down everything you brought for your evening picnic on the hills. The spot he had pointed out was directly in front of the sun setting behind the mountains, its golden glow bathing the earth in the day’s final hour of light.

Once all the food was organized on the blanket, you took out a couple of ribbons from your pocket.

“Do you want me to help you?” Sigma asked as you tried to figure out where to put them in your already-styled hair without a mirror. He noticed your struggle.

“Oh! Sure,” you replied with a shy smile, and immediately after, he was behind you, taking the braids in your hair and tying the ribbons onto those.

“Thank you,” you replied when he was done, and when Sigma stepped back, he smiled in admiration.

“Of course.” He took your hand as you both sat beside each other.

“It’s so pretty here.” You turned to face the mountains, the sun halfway below the horizon. “You were right; this is the perfect spot!”

You looked back at Sigma, but it seemed like he paid no attention to the view at all. His eyes were only on you.

“…Sigma?”

“Y-you look really pretty,” he said, eyes not leaving once you made eye contact with him.

“…Can I kiss you?”

Immediately, you felt your heart melt because your lover was so innocent and lovely. You had been together for months, yet he was still asking for permission to kiss you.

“Of course, Sigma! We’re literally dating, you can kiss me whenever you want.”

“O-okay!” You giggled at his smitten reaction.

You closed your eyes and puckered your lips in a dramatic act of preparation.

It seemed you had been mistaken, though. Because, he had kissed you on the forehead.

“O-Ohh—oops, I thought you meant-”

But then, Sigma’s lips were over yours. His hand that wasn’t holding yours gently guided your face towards his. His touches were all tender, expressing how much he adored you.

You wrapped your own free hand around his neck, pulling him closer. You opened your eyes slightly to take a peek, seeing his own were fluttered closed under such pretty eyelashes, and his expression content, basking in your comfort.

It was as if you and him finally breaking away was the moon’s cue to rise. The sun had set entirely by the time you were done, shades of warm-toned colored clouds left as a trail.

“That was sneaky of you, Sigma,” you laughed, cheeks warm and your head a bit hazy from how everything in the setting was so dreamy. “You tricked me by going for my forehead first.”

“I wasn’t going to kiss you straight-up like that! It was intimidating, you just waiting!”

You laughed some more, seeing his own cheeks tint a light shade of pink. “Come on, let’s eat.”

if u rb this post, i heard that ur fav will kiss u tn! reblogs are cherished; they support me as a creator. <3

© aureatchi 2023. no reposts or translations. do not steal.

#₊ ⊹˚✉︎𑁤 with love; reverie #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd x you #bsd scenarios #bsd drabbles #bsd headcanons #bsd imagines #bsd fluff #dazai x reader #dazai fluff #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #chuuya x reader #chuuya fluff #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #ranpo x reader #ranpo fluff #ranpo edogawa #bsd ranpo #nikolai x reader #nikolai fluff #nikolai gogol #sigma x reader #sigma fluff #bsd sigma #aureatchi

[rafeandonlyrafe]

fake fight

words: 800

warnings: 18+ only, smut, dry humping

“come on baby, you were the one who was so sure that you could beat me in a fight.” rafe says, whipping his shirt off. you know it’s going to give him an advantage, always getting distracted by his bare chest.

it was mostly a joke. you know you’d never actually beat rafe in a fight, but you’re stubborn and continued to say that you could, that while rafe was obviously stronger, you were quicker and had better reflexes. you should have known it was a mistake and rafe would actually call you out on your bluff.

“fine.” you shrug, taking your necklace off, with a diamond ‘R’ on it, gifted to you by none other than the man you know you’re about to lose to. he’s cleared the living room, pushed all of the furniture back so you have plenty of space to spar.

“alright. i’ll go gentle on you.”

you drop the fake overconfidence. you really don’t want rafe to go hard on you, not that he would anyways. you know in your ‘fight’ that rafe would never actually be rough with you.

you give a nod, signaling that you are ready. you move quickly, knowing that you’re going to get maybe one chance to get rafe before you’re on the ground.

you manage to strike out at his shoulder before he can pull back, but then his arms are around your waist, lowering you to the floor, a hand coming up to the back of your head to cushion the fall. rafe drops on top of you, using his body weight to keep you down. he grabs your wrists, holding them on either side of your head.

“i expected it to be quick, but not that quick. tap out.” rafe laughs, right in your face. your brow scrunches, too proud to give up just because you’re pinned. you test if you can get your arms free, but it’s no use. he just pushes them harder into the carpet until you stop. you wiggle your hips instead, seeing if you can get free that way, but all that you manage to do is rub against rafe’s hips.

rafe lets out a half moan half grunt, and you’re suddenly aware of how your wiggling is affecting rafe. your eyes widen as rafe smirks, hips suddenly pushing forward, thrusting his clothed cock over your covered cunt.

you shouldn’t encourage him, but you can’t help it. you wrap your hips around his legs, feigning like you're trying to flip him over, but all it does is make you grind against rafe.

he rubs right back, directly over your clit now that your legs are spread wide for him. you hold back a moan, trying again to flip so you’re on top.

it feels so dirty, both getting off during the (albeit fake) fight. you know you’d look insane to anyone who walked in, rafe shamelessly rubbing his cock against you while you’re pinned to the floor.

“give up.” rafe says. “give up and i’ll fuck you.”

“no.” no matter how bad you want it, you're too headstrong to agree. 

“fine.” rafe resists the urge to kiss you, moving his hips away and then back in as he practically fucks you, if only the clothes weren’t in the way.

you squeeze your eyes shut, testing the hold on your wrists, but rafe still has an iron grip on them.

“good try, princess. only way you’re getting out is if you tap out.” rafe says. you shake your head no, so rafe just shrugs, bucking his hips. he won’t last long. it’ll be embarrassing, cumming in his shorts, but you just look so small and helpless underneath him, trapped, unable to get away even if you wanted to (which you definitely don’t at this point).

you’re not unaffected by this either. rafe grinds against your clit, and you know you’re close as well.

“fuck.” rafe grunts out, completely losing his cool demeanor when you start to wiggle against him again, bucking your hips to join his thrusts.

rafe cries out as he spills in his shorts, cum spurting into the fabric just as you also reach the edge, clit pulsing as you moan, rafe grinding against you as you both ride out your orgasms.

rafe takes a deep breath and then sinks into you, body going slack. it’s your chance. you’re exhausted from the struggle and the orgasm, but you manage to flip over so rafe is on the bottom, and you’re sitting right in his lap.

rafe smiles, proud that you got the jump on him. he could easily flip you back over, but he’s tired and just wants to actually fuck you, so he slaps his hand against the ground twice, tapping out. “i win!” you squeal, bending down to kiss rafe. “i told you i would win.”

“you were right, honey.” rafe laughs. “let me help you celebrate.”

#reupload! #rafe fic #rafe fanfic #rafe fanfiction #rafe x reader #rafe smut #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron blurb #rafe cameron drabble #rafe cameron one shot #rafe cameron smut #obx smut #outer banks smut

[littlespoonevan]

i'll keep it all to myself

7x04 coda (she's back, baby xoxo)

-

“Hey, killer.”

Buck winces, mouth already tripping over an apology as he moves into the Diaz living room. “Eddie, I’m so sorry-“

“Buck, I’m kidding,” Eddie interrupts, exasperated and just a little fond. He hasn’t been on the receiving end of that tone in a few days. It’s embarrassing to say he missed it. “Sit down.”

Buck takes the armchair instead of sitting on the couch next to Eddie. He’s not sure why. He never sits in the armchair. Sitting in it now he almost feels…off balance. But then catching sight of Eddie’s foot propped up on the coffee table sobers him immediately and he forgets all about the strange discomfort in his stomach.

Reaching for the cushion behind him, he gets up again. “You should have something under that,” he says, gently lifting Eddie’s leg to place the cushion on the table. He lowers it again carefully, nodding in satisfaction when Eddie’s foot is nestled safely in the cushion. “The table is too hard.”

“Oh sorry, I thought I was the one with real medical training,” Eddie quips but there’s no bite behind the words.

“Yeah but I’m the one with crush injury experience,” Buck says, kicking his own legs up on the table in proof.

Eddie opens his mouth as if to argue back but then closes it again, rolling his eyes, but his lips twitch a bit. Just at the corners.

“Eddie, I really am sorry,” he says, straightening in his seat and forcing himself to meet Eddie’s gaze properly. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I just got so-“

“I know,” Eddie replies, quiet and careful and devoid of any of his earlier teasing. “But you know you can talk to me, right? Like, it’s me Buck. You can just tell me when something’s wrong.”

Buck does know that. He knows he can tell Eddie everything. Anything. The bad and the good.

Which means he should be able to clear this up right away, right? He should just be able to say, ‘Hey, I was apparently working through some latent feelings I never knew I had. And I took that out on you. But guess what! I like Tommy and he likes me back and we have a date Saturday!’

But thinking about telling Eddie that Tommy kissed him makes his chest constrict in a way that he doesn’t expect. So he tucks it up in a neat little box in the corner of his mind for now and focuses on making sure Eddie’s okay. Because he can do that. He knows how to do that.

“I’m an idiot,” he says. “And if you want I will totally give you one free punch so we’re even.”

Eddie huffs a quiet laugh. “I could never hit you.”

“Should I go get Christopher’s Legos instead and step on them with my shoes off?”

Eddie lets out a real laugh then, the kind that makes his eyes close and his head fall back against the couch cushion, and Buck feels so much affection for him well up inside him he’s almost breathless with it.

“You’re an idiot,” Eddie tells him. “And a martyr. Seriously, Buck, I don’t care. I just want to make sure you and I are okay.”

“Of course we are,” Buck says, without actually stopping to interrogate if that’s true or not.

They are, he thinks. The fact that something absolutely life altering happened to him an hour ago and he somehow can’t make himself tell Eddie about it is…inconsequential.

He’s just hedging his bets. Not trying to get ahead of himself before he has yet another failed romance.

“In that case, can you go to the fridge and get us some beers?” Eddie asks, pulling Buck back to reality.

“You shouldn’t be drinking,” Buck says, even as he stands. Maybe they can split a beer. Half a bottle shouldn’t hurt. “Tommy says you’re on pain meds.”

“Oh, so you guys talked?”

Eddie says it unassumingly and when Buck freezes at the dining table and looks over his shoulder he finds that Eddie isn’t even looking at him. He’s leaning forward on the couch, adjusting his leg, but when Buck takes too long to answer he raises his head and gives him an expectant look.

“Yeah,” Buck murmurs, the phantom rasp of Tommy’s stubble against his mouth still tingling and making him want to reach up and touch his lips. That would give too much away though. “We talked.”

Eddie smiles, nodding his approval. “Good. Maybe all three of us can actually hang out together now.”

The thought immediately makes Buck’s stomach swoop with something unnameable but he doesn’t let it show on his face.

“Sure,” he breathes. “Sounds great.”

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 #911 spoilers #7x04 #my fics #i wrote this in 20 mins and read it twice but here u go lmao #i will try to write a couple of the prompts/suggestions people sent me tomorrow when my brain is functioning normally again 😘

[namfinessed]

so close - m.yg.

genre: major angst, fluff, second chance romance (13.5k)

summary: words are not enough for people who are so close and so in love, or a fic in which yoongi loses you but will do everything in his power to win you back.

note: writing after so long felt liberating, i hope you feel through my words.

this one is dedicated to my soulmate, @hopefuldreamlove​

masterlist 

“you know what? i’m done, i’m fucking done with your nonsense, i hope this stupid roof falls on your head!” your screams bounced off the walls loudly as you dragged your bags to the front door, you no longer recognized yourself.

when had it become this bad?

“i hope so too, at least that way i don’t have to hear you scream like a banshee on drugs, just get the fuck out already” yoongi huffs as he matches your vicious tone, but his chest tugs at him, begging him to move and stop you before it was too late, before you actually left and never came back. but his pride was stronger, he wasn’t going to beg you to stay, he was stubborn enough to pretend this didn’t affect him at all.

you don’t respond or even turn back to look at him one last time, you slam the door and trudge your luggage impatiently to the elevator.

yoongi couldn’t move, he watched the front door with pursed lips, he couldn’t believe that after all this time, this was how you two were going down.

he should’ve stopped you; he shakes his head at himself, he shouldn’t have even let the fight get so far, he should’ve stopped the second your voice wavered with unshed tears halfway through the argument but he didn’t, he waited for those tears to turn into simmering anger and yoongi didn’t do anything to make you stay. as always.

that was why you fought in the first place because yoongi had seemingly given up on putting any effort into your relationship.

halfway through the parking lot, you pulled your suitcases behind you with heavy steps, letting out puffs of breath with furrowed eyebrows, and then you paused. your heel stuttering as you narrowed your eyes, your hands loosened around the handles of your bags.

why should you leave?

you both were still owners of that apartment, both of you paid the rent and if you left now, you don’t even have a place to stay and you didn’t want to inconvenience your friends because yoongi was being an asshole, you also didn’t want to go through the trouble of finding a new apartment when you had a perfectly available one right above you (with three bedrooms!).

you smiled wickedly, if yoongi thought he was getting rid of you this easily, he was dead wrong because now, you were determined to make his life hell by living right next to his door and doing everything you could to make him uncomfortable.

yoongi didn’t hate a lot of things, but his personal space was always important to him and you were determined to make that space as worse as it could get and if he had a problem, he could always leave and find another place, he had the money to buy another apartment anyway.

with that happy revenge plan, you walked back to the elevator with a bounce on your step, you couldn’t wait to make yoongi’s life miserable.

yoongi, on the other hand, had been watching the clock since you walked away, it took every fiber of his pride to keep himself on that couch and not run after you but eventually, he knew that he needed you, he couldn’t ignore his sinking chest forever, so he ran to get his car keys, begging and praying silently that you hadn’t gone too far.

he reached for his phone as he made his way to the door, already texting your friends to see if you had gone to them.

imagine his surprise when you slam the door open just as his hand moves towards the door handle, he jumps back with a pounding heart and a rush of emotions fills him.

a mix of relief, remnants of his previous frustration, pure joy, and cockiness fill him as he sees you back in your home, his hands almost grab you into a hug but instead clench into fists and tighten beside his body.

“missed me already?” his lips curl into a smirk and your glare hardens, but you give him the sweetest smile in return, and yoongi’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion.

you looked furious when you left so, yoongi didn’t understand the smile on your face even if his heart jumped at the smile he hadn’t seen for a while now.

“don’t flatter yourself, min yoongi, i’m not back for you, i’m back for my apartment” you sing to him as you purposefully shove his shoulder on your way in, even running your suitcase on his toes accidentally as you walk past.

he winces and curls to grab his stinging foot, “what the fuck is wrong with you?” yoongi growls, any idea of needing you had left him swiftly as his anger returned with a vengeance.

“oops, sorry, didn’t see your foot there” you tried not to snicker as you said but you still had that shit-eating grin on your face and yoongi huffed, annoyance filling his every crevice.

“okay, what are you doing back here? i clearly remember you hoping that this roof falls on my head, did you come back for it to fall on yours too?” yoongi followed you as you walked to the guest bedroom, his footsteps speeding up to catch your pace but you remained one step ahead.

“you mean, what am i doing in my house? i don’t know yoongi, what do people do in their houses?” your voice was sickeningly sweet and yoongi ran a hand across his face in exasperation, “this is our house, can you stop being sarcastic for one minute and give me a straight answer?”

“as far as i remember and you are free to correct me, both of our names are on the lease, making both of us rightful owners, why would i go anywhere else when i have a home right here?” you level your glare with him as he stares back with an unreadable expression, “are you doing this just to be petty?” yoongi thought you had come back for him but now knowing that you didn’t, filled his chest with a bitter, ugly feeling.

“i have no idea what you are talking about, i am just choosing to live in my house” you shrug your shoulders as you put your clothes into the guest room’s closet, yoongi looks away with furrowed eyebrows, “stop calling it your house, it is our house” your hand paused at the longing in his voice but remembering all the nights you went to bed crying because of him, pushed you to just keep arranging your things.

“it is mine and yours, not ours,” you concluded and yoongi tried to shake off how heavy your words made him feel, “besides, i won’t even be bothering you anymore, think of us as roommates and nothing more until i find a new place.”

“roommates?”

“roommates.”

“you are going to find a new place?” yoongi asks, shifting on his feet, it was strange to see you occupying a different part of the house.

“of course, why would i stay here with you for longer than required?” you planned to just ruin his life for a little while and then leave to a place where you could finally breathe.

you just staying here would ruin it enough, you thought.

“you shouldn’t even be staying here right now” he bit back, masking the ache in his heart with insults he normally wouldn’t even think of uttering but that confirmed it for you that your decision to stay bothered him and that satiated your petty heart.

“if you have a problem with me staying, you can leave and find a new place” you gave him a large, sarcastic grin and yoongi’s eyes further narrowed on you. “i don’t give a fuck about you staying or leaving, just stay out of my way” yoongi mumbled and slammed the guest door shut.

you rolled your eyes as you continued shoving your belongings in place, you couldn’t wait for this lease to be over, just as much as he did.

-

the lease was supposed to be renewed after three months and you were hoping to find a place by then because as much as you taunted yoongi, you were planning to move out the next chance you get because you couldn’t stay around him and hate yourself for liking him still.

you spent the first two weeks, mostly staying out of home, you couldn’t stand seeing him working all day, even at home. that was why you two had fought and ultimately broken up over, and as much as you hated to admit it, you were hurt that he didn’t even try to change his ways.

your eyes glared at the eggs sizzling in the pan sitting in front of you as your hands tightened impossibly around the spatula you held.

were you supposed to cook eggs with a spatula?

were the eggs supposed to look that dark in color?

was whatever you’re holding, even a spatula?

your head tilted in confusion as you tried to rake your brain for things you learned from cooking shows and let out a sigh of frustration as the eggs you flipped had smoke coming out of them.

you never had to worry about cooking, as busy as yoongi got, he always made sure you at least had leftovers to heat up before he left for work but you would rather plunge yourself on a bed of legos than ask him to make your food.

besides, you could do this yourself, you have done much more difficult things than this in life, a couple of eggs and bread weren’t going to be that hard.

“are you seriously using a scooper?” you heard a low, groggy voice from across the room and you sucked in a breath, face heating up in embarrassment.

so, you weren’t using a spatula after all.

you stiffly nodded and yoongi snickered, “if you need a ride to the hospital after eating whatever you made, i will be happy to take you.”

you turned around with an annoyed huff, “as if you have time for anything besides being holed up in your studio, i will die before you even come and get me.” yoongi’s jaw tightened as you pointed your spatula (scooper) at him, and then, he released a long breath as another grin graced his face, “so, you agree? you agree that you will end up in the hospital after eating this?”

“even if i do, i don’t see how it’s any of your goddamn business, min yoongi, just make your fucking breakfast and don’t be such an insufferable roommate” maybe your words were harsher than needed, but you couldn’t stand being around him and not hurt him, as he had hurt you over the course of the past few weeks.

yoongi didn’t retaliate which only made you feel worse, but you held your chin high in defiance of your own guilt as he did exactly as you told, he kept quiet and made his breakfast.

and of course, he made a huge spread of everything from bagels to smoothies to chocolate pancakes, he put them right in front of you as he sat on the opposite side of the long island table as you stared down at your burnt eggs and bread with a clenched jaw.

for yoongi, work could wait right now but annoying you couldn’t.

“i hope you enjoy your breakfast, y/n, if you can call it that” yoongi gave you his brightest smile yet, the stretch on his face covering the otherwise sarcastic tone “because i know i will enjoy mine” he finished by shoving a forkful of the cream cheese and chicken bagel that he knows is your favorite. he knows how much you loved it when he made it for you after a night full of love and attention.

you glare at him with annoyance crawling up your arms and legs as he lets out a moan of approval at the bite, obviously putting on a show to piss you off more, your mouth waters involuntarily as he chews slowly with nods and loud hums of satisfaction but what finally drives you mad, is when he lifts his head from eating and gives you a cheeky wink.

your hands gripping the table's edge turn white as you forcedly push your body away from the table, abandoning your sad excuse of breakfast and stomping out of the room.

you hate that you can hear yoongi’s sinister laughter even after you slam your door shut.

-

this is what continues for you both, you accidentally unplug his computers, he accidentally drops juice on you right before you go to work, you accidentally break his speakers, and he accidentally puts your night plushie in the washing machine and reduces it to nothing but a shapeless fluff. the cycle continues, both of you determined to not let the other breathe peacefully, every night you slept while making a plan to destroy his day, and every morning you woke up to execute it.

it was childish, immature but it gave you the satisfaction you craved. seeing his usually passive face become irritated or waking up to his screams of frustration and curses filled you to the brim with joy.

you did start to question why you enjoyed it so much though, sure you wanted to give him hell but the whole process of planning it wasn’t what made you satisfied, it was purely his reaction to it.

“you just want his attention again” your dear friend, jennie, mutters as she glares at you while sipping her bubble tea. you immediately scoff at her; she had no idea what she was talking about.

“no, i want him to suffer” you correct her and she shakes her head at you, putting her drink down and leaning forward with furrowed eyebrows. “i worry about you, you know.”

“why? i’m perfectly fine” you shrug because you don’t see anything that she needs to worry about, you are moving on, you are making yoongi suffer like you wanted to, your work performance is still intact, and everything was smooth sailing. “no, you are not. i thought it was weird that you wanted to stay in the same house as your ex, but i didn’t say anything because you were in a sensitive place then. now, you have to admit that you are delaying staying away from him.”

“i’m staying in a house that i own and that i am paying rent for, it has nothing to do with min yoongi.” you jab a finger on the table as irritation fills you, but you also feel embarrassed? humiliation crawls on your insides as you try to maintain a passive face. jennie’s face softens and she reaches out for your hand, “i know how much he hurt you, don’t punish yourself by thinking you have to prove to anyone that you want to hurt him as he did you. your pain doesn’t need justification.”

-

you couldn’t sleep that night, all you could think of was jennie’s face as she uttered those words, her gentle hands keeping you anchored to the real world, the world where min yoongi shredded you to pieces without caring or knowing about it. before you know it, you feel tears escape down the side of your eyes and your hand shakily reaches out to muffle your sobs.

why couldn’t you just stop caring?

why couldn’t you up and leave?

what kept you tethered to a relationship that was void before you ever called it off?

and why couldn’t you just fucking stop crying?

you wanted to let your hand go, so yoongi can listen to your wails, to what he’s done to you, the damage he’s caused, the broken pieces that you struggle to pick up, maybe in some sick way, you want him to come and wipe your tears away, maybe you just want him to show up this once, to make up for all the months he didn’t. but you don’t let it go, you hold it tighter against your face because as much as you want him to know, you can’t. you can’t have him find out that your tears were because and for him.

-

you didn’t have to justify your pain but you did have to prove that you were moving on, so against jennie’s and all your friend’s better judgment, you decided a date night would just be enough to prove that you didn’t care about yoongi or whatever you had with him anymore.

you hummed lightly as you got your favorite dress out, it had an open back and whenever you wore it, yoongi couldn’t stop touchin-

this isn’t about him.

you huff in annoyance at your own thoughts as you lay your dress down on the bed, you are not thinking about him, not today and not ever, today is only about your date, you are going to have a good time, get lightly tipsy, and maybe even have a full-blown make out session if you get drunk enough for it and you will not think of yoongi at all.

you took a deep breath in as you started doing your makeup.

how long has it been since you got ready for a date? at least, a date that didn’t get canceled as soon as you were ready. your makeup brush slows in your hand as your heart starts feeling heavy again. you didn’t bother getting ready for anything if it was not with yoongi even when he canceled, even when he pleaded with you that he would be there and left you hanging.

you gave such little regard for yourself and you feel angry that you didn’t put yourself first, that you didn’t fight him right then and there, you feel irritated that you quenched your needs for as long as he made you wait.

 you start getting ready with more aggression after that, you were definitely going to put yourself first now, yoongi gets none of you. you don’t need him for anything anymore.

except for maybe one thing.

you stand in front of the mirror with a scowl, your arms awkwardly bent to try and zip your dress up but your fingers are just out of reach for it, you start to hop awkwardly hoping that somehow hopping around will magically zip your dress up and start to groan in frustration.

“are you auditioning to be a kangaroo?”

you pause with gritted teeth at his amused voice coming from the doorway that you didn’t realize was wide open all this time.

this can’t be happening right now.

“can you fuck off?”

“and you will go out with your zip wide open, got it, i will be taking my leave.” He snickers and starts to head out, only to pause when a whine comes up your throat, you bite your lip to swallow your pride because you don’t want to ask him, but you have no choice.

“yoongi, can y-“

“can i?” he turns around in a flash, leaning against the doorway with a smirk on his face, that you want to slap off.

“can you zip my dress up?” you mumble out in a rush and shift your feet to face him with half your body. yoongi whistles, looking away, acting like he didn’t hear you at all, and your eyes drop into a glare, you can already feel your irritation crawling up your skin.

“you heard me, stop acting like a kid.” you scowl at him as you stomp your foot.

“i did but a ‘please’ would be nice, you know, zipping a dress is tough work and i can’t just hand it out for free.” he was enjoying this way too much but his heart was dipping continuously as he kept looking at you from the corner of his eye.

when was the last time he saw you, all dressed up?

why can’t he remember the last time he took you out?

why can’t he remember the last time he fell asleep and woke up with you?

he clears his throat loudly as he makes his way across the room, your glare stays on yoongi as he approaches you but you don’t miss how his eyes stay downward as he walks with slow steps. you tilt your head in confusion as you push your hair to the side, to let him zip you up.

but he never does.

he stands behind you, looking in the mirror as you hold your hair up, he looks at you through the mirror, and your eyes meet his.

yoongi doesn’t look away.

you don’t look away.

your zip is long but forgotten.

and suddenly, you feel like the room is running out of air for you to breathe in.

you hadn’t been this close to yoongi in so long.

you can’t tell if he’s thinking the same thing, you can’t tell if he’s finding it hard to find air right now too, you can’t tell if his heart is beating as loudly as yours.

but sorrow fills you because, in all these months, yoongi has come this close to you, only to zip the dress that you’re wearing on a date with someone else.

“yoongi.” you whisper, so quietly, so delicately, as if you can’t bear to utter his name but you have to.

“right, zip.” he shakes his head at himself, quickly looking downwards and his hand’s ghost on the skin exposed to him, yoongi is suddenly unsure if he can zip you up or not, he’s unsure if his hands will let him only zip you up, he’s unsure of where that would lead to.

“where are you headed to?” yoongi tries to sound casual as clears his throat and his fingers finally catch the small zip at the dip of your dress, he takes his sweet time dragging it up, his eyes savoring every inch of skin he hasn’t touched.

you hesitate, you don’t want to tell him. actually, maybe you do, maybe you wanted him to know before but after the shift in the very air around you, it feels wrong. “a date.” your answer leaves you in a choke, just as he finishes pulling the zip all the way to the top.

he removes his hands from you like he’s been stung, and he steps back, yoongi doesn’t even breathe as he stands unmoving.

air rushes in your lungs once you notice the conflict in yoongi’s eyes, once you recognize the conflict forming a knot in your stomach and even air seems like too much for you.

the moment is over and you can feel your defenses climbing up too.

you are ready to fight him, you are ready to argue that you both were done, and that what you do with your time is none of his business and it never will be, and that you can kiss, fuck, do whatever you want with whomever you want.

because you two were done.

because you two were done.

that statement didn’t feel real until this second. something about the statement felt like the most incorrect thing in the world to yoongi.

but he won’t say it.

he won’t hurt you anymore.

he can’t hurt you anymore.

“have fun.” his words are low, and curt and they fall into the silence around you both in a loud thud as yoongi quickly walks out of the room.

you are left in your dress, with a date you were going to be late to and a heart so heavy, you feel that you will drop it at your doorstep before heading out.

-

“isn’t that so exciting?” your date beams at you.

he’s cute, well accomplished from what you’re told and he seems interested in you.

you wish you could say the same.

but all your responses to him have been one-line sentences and tight smiles.

along with your pre-existing obsessive thoughts of yoongi and that goddamn zip, guilt bleeds into your system and so does dread.

guilt, because your date is as good as dates come, and he already mentioned that he would be more than willing to take time out for you and that he will be available whenever you want, that the next date will be whenever you are comfortable.

which should excite you.

which should delight you.

it should make you the happiest person in the world that he’s so openly giving you his time even if you are meeting him for the first time, it should make you the happiest that he seems enamored by you, that he wants to know so much about you. your friend had mentioned that this guy had been asking about you for a while and that when she asked, he had jumped in joy at the idea of going on a date with you, this should make you happy.

but it doesn’t, it sits bitterly in your mouth that it doesn’t make you feel a single thing.

you felt a million more flutters, kicks, and tingles in that one-minute yoongi zipped your dress up than you have for the past hour sitting opposite to your date.

dread also, slowly but surely, starts to consume you from the inside out. it scares you that maybe you will never feel all of that with another person, that you have somehow run out of sensation when it comes to someone else, it scares you that this might be forever, that you will never truly move on, that you can ever only pretend to move on.

maybe if someone else touches you.

maybe if someone else feels you.

maybe you have a chance of forgetting the ghost that yoongi left on your skin, maybe if someone else kisses you, you will be able to forget how his lips felt.

maybe if someone else could be exactly like yoongi but not like yoongi at the same time, you can survive this.

there’s no one like yoongi.

and you can’t do this anymore.

you stand up abruptly, your mind too loud to let you sit and listen to one more word that didn’t come from yoongi. your date sits up alarmed, quickly reaching for your hand to ask you what was wrong, to check up on you.

he is touching you.

his hands grip your fingers tightly.

he won’t let go until you do.

there is security in his touch.

but.

nothing.

you feel nothing.

your breathing stills at the realization.

your body doesn’t even bother with his hands on yours, it doesn’t even register that a person is holding your hand, asking if you’re okay. your body hates you.

before you know it, you are rushing out a half-assed apology and running out of the restaurant leaving your date confused and hurt.

you wish you could turn back and tell him you felt the same.

you were confused and hurt too, just for someone else.

-

a defeated weight held your head down as you walk back to your home.

the home that you share with your ex.

if you were in a better mood, you would maybe laugh at the situation you’ve put yourself in, maybe laugh at how ridiculous all of this is but you can’t bring yourself to even walk without feeling like the world was crashing on you.

yoongi heard your footsteps out in the corridor and he jumps back from the door he had pressed his ear against, running to the couch before you reach the doorknob. and just as the door clicks open, he snuggles himself into the blanket on the couch and evens his breath to pretend like he’s just casually fallen asleep on the sofa with a movie playing.

he wasn’t pacing by the front door a million times, trying to listen in to when you would come back.

he wasn’t going to reach for his car keys and come to find you.

and yoongi definitely didn’t feel the jealousy burning in his throat since the second you walked out for a date with someone else.

yoongi hears a thud and opens his eyes to the smallest amount he can see.

and he sees you.

that dress still takes his breath away.

but he can hear your breathing too.

it’s uneven, rough, and too quick, just like how it always is when you feel overwhelmed or frustrated.

yoongi stiffens in his position, both concern and anger filling him and the blanket slips from his shoulder a little.

was it because of your date?

did he do something to you?

were you alright?

his heart thumps uncomfortably as your step near his figure, he doesn’t know if you can tell that he’s pretending or not.

then you sit right by where he’s laid, on the floor, another defeated sigh leaving your lips, and yoongi wonders of the ways he could kill your date for making you like this.

little did he know, it was because of him.

“i can’t do it, yoongi” you whisper, seemingly to no one even if you use his name like you don’t want him to hear and yoongi confirms that you believe his act.

“i can’t seem to move on” a sad and tired chuckle follows that sentence and yoongi’s skin burns underneath the blanket, he’s never heard you this way. “and i know you have, i know you moved on a long time, long before we ever broke up but i can’t. even if you have, i can’t.” tears build in your eyes as you try to blink them away, you felt ridiculous, talking to him when he was asleep.

but you couldn’t help it, there was so much you wanted to say but you never got the chance to.

“i can’t hate you for moving on, but i can hate our situation for making it so hard for me to move on, i can hate myself for ever loving you, i can hate a lot of things” you nod to yourself, yoongi’s fists curl on his chest, if only he could throw the blanket away and take you in his arms. if only it was that easy.

“i can’t hate you, i can never hate you” you finish, your head falls with the weight of every thought you had.

if only you could tell him this when he wasn’t sleeping, if only he made it easier for you to say it to him.

yoongi’s lips purse, out of all the things he thought you would end the sentence with, that wasn’t one of them.

he was prepared for you to insult him in the vilest way possible.

he was prepared for you to blame him; he was prepared to take the blame.

but he wasn’t prepared for what you said or how you said it.

he wasn’t prepared for the sad kind of joy that filled his heart.

his joy was a paradox, too many faces for him to feel it at all.

you got up, turning the television off and pausing to look at him before you disappeared into your room and prepared yourself for yet another day of pretending to hate him.

yoongi could feel the weight of your gaze on him. he foolishly wonders if his hair is looking okay today, if the pajamas he chose today looked good on him, if he was looking presentable.

he can’t help it, you are standing in your prettiest dress and yoongi knows no one can be more beautiful than you, in that dress, in any dress, or in nothing at all. he only wants to be worthy of you.

then you do something that makes yoongi choke back a long breath.

you tuck his blanket back in place and your hands make quick work to cover his ears sufficiently.

it’s a simple action but it makes yoongi feel everything he did for you when he confessed his crush to you all those years ago.

then you step back and pad away quickly to your room and once your door falls shut, yoongi sits up immediately, breathing heavily.

he buries his head in his hands as frustration and something so similar to grief run through him in waves.

was he really stupid enough to let you go?

why did he feel regret now, when everything was concluded?

why did you have to tell him all of that?

his heart ached, his fingers ached, all of it was for you. and he looks at your door longingly.

you were wrong, yoongi thought. yoongi would die before he ever moved on from you.

and he never really let up a chance to prove you wrong.

at your door, his hand pauses in the middle of knocking when he hears your sobs on the other side.

if someone ripped his heart out, it would probably hurt less than this.

how badly he wanted to break down the door and hug you until your tears became his.

how badly he wished to caress your hair until you fell asleep.

how badly he wished you would fall asleep in his arms.

how badly he wished, against his awareness of the selfish nature of his wish, to see you in that dress one last time.

yoongi could open the door, he could do all of this, he could grant himself everything he wishes for but the door wasn’t the only barrier between you two and he became painfully aware of all the invisible barriers you both held up now.

he can’t just leave and come back when he wants, it wasn’t fair on you.

so, yoongi, regretfully and slowly, takes a step back and disappears into his studio where he catches no sleep.

but hey, he could at least finish a song that night.

that night, yoongi knew he was lying to himself if he said that he didn’t love you anymore. but he was also on thin ice with you, yoongi was going to try his best to stay on the surface.

this would be the last song he would make for a while, he had more important things on his checklist.

-

the smell of-

was that cream cheese?

your groggy, half-asleep mind somehow registers the waft of bagels and cream cheese in the air, which is enough to pull yourself out of bed.

with tangled hair and puffy eyes, you pad into the kitchen with a narrowed gaze.

of course, it’s yoongi.

you glare at his back which moves constantly to put together a cream cheese and chicken bagel which was, as mentioned, your favorite. usually, you would appreciate this view, usually, you would go give him a back-hug as he cooked for you but you knew it wasn’t for you.

“do you have to torture me like this?” you whine out, and yoongi snickers, his apron tightening around his waist as he turns around to look at you, “good morning to you too, you look bright as ever this morning” he gives you his best smile and you return a sarcastic one.

despite his aloof attitude, yoongi was trembling on the inside because he knows there is no single right way to win you back, he would have to earn it, and he would have to work on it every single day.

but if it was going to take forever to win you back, yoongi would try forever.

you buried your pounding head in your hands as you took a seat at the table, wondering how you were going to cook for yourself again without accidentally setting something or yourself on fire.

then, a glass of water with advil comes into view and you look up to see yoongi immediately backing away to work on breakfast again.

“are you trying to drug me?”

“is it working?”

you can’t help the small smile forming at his amused tone, but you don’t say anything which makes yoongi sigh in failing irritation. “come on, it’s just advil. you don’t need me to drug you, you do that with your cooking every day.”

“geez, thanks for reminding me i’m not freaking gordon ramsay in the kitchen” you continue his banter, somehow, you’re in a good mood even after how terribly last night ended. you go mute when he places a plate filled with your favorite bagel, an omelet, bacon, and even mini jam sandwiches in it.

you just stare at the plate before dragging your gaze to yoongi who turns away once again, this time with a dust of pink on his full cheeks that you catch.

“your side of the table is that way” you point to the opposite side, albeit regretfully because it’s been a while since you have had a proper, not-burnt breakfast, but he must have mistakenly placed this beautiful plate of food in front of you.

it has to be a mistake.

there’s no other reason for yoongi to feed you.

but oh, yoongi’s just so full of surprises.

“that one’s for you.” he shrugs casually as if it was normal to make you breakfast, after he’s only eaten it in front of you for a few weeks.

“what?”

“do you have hearing problems?”

“do you have mental problems?”

“yeah, but a dining table is hardly an appropriate place to discuss those, don’t you think?” maybe it was his flat tone as he said, indicative of his sense of humor, maybe you were just in a more fantastic mood than you had anticipated.

but you burst out laughing. you couldn’t help it; your laughter took over your entire system.

you can’t remember the last time you laughed like that.

yoongi had always managed to make you laugh or smile; this magical ability made you fall for him hard and fast, and after a rough day, he was the reason you at least slept peacefully, when you were together.

when you were together.

right, that wasn’t you two anymore.

that realization slows your laughter to a hesitant chuckle, yoongi wishes he didn’t notice that shift.

"don’t try to cook ever again if you want this roof over our head.” he jokes again as he sits down on his side of the table, suddenly the table seems too long to him and he hopes you’ll laugh again.

"are you saying you'll kick me out?" you dramatically gasp at him with an undeniable smile on your face.

it’s all right, yoongi will take a smile too.

"I’m saying you'll burn it down.” he continues with a playful whine that has you giggling again, swinging your legs under the table, a true indicator of your happiness in that minute which yoongi doesn’t miss.

“don’t you have work today?” you ask, finally digging into your food as yoongi does to his.

god, that’s good.

you swear his hands are magic.

“i took the day off” yoongi shrugs again, the second time he’s shrugging over things that aren’t half as casual as he makes them seem.

as long as you know, yoongi only ever took one day off, which was on your first anniversary.

he was always late to the other anniversaries.

you try not to think of that now, especially when both of you were in a civil mood.

“why, are you sick or something?” though concern fills you, you don’t let it show as you stuff your mouth.

“nope, just like that.” you hum in reply with poorly contained surprise.

“i don’t have work today either.” you don’t know why you tell him but you do.

“i know.”

“okay.”

“okay.”

you feel embarrassed at the disappointment that filled you when he didn’t say anything about it, what did you expect he was going to do, ask you for a date? if he wanted to, he would have done it when you were together.

“do you want to watch a movie?”

you almost drop your fork.

yoongi is surely full of surprises because you don’t even process his request for a second.

“what?”

“do you really have hearing problems?”

“no, i just didn’t quite catch what you said. are you asking me to watch a movie with you?” you repeat his words in disbelief, the plate of food that you loved so much, completely forgotten on the table.

“yes, that is what i said.” he confirms and you tilt your head in suspicion that yoongi notices too quickly which causes him to rush out, “as roommates.” it pains him to say it but he can’t come up with anything else to convince you.

“as roommates?” your confusion only grows.

“as roommates.”

“but why?” you can’t help but ask.

“just think of it as me trying not to be an insufferable roommate” he offers his explanation and in theory, in practicality, it makes perfect sense.

but both of you know it’s not that simple.

nevertheless, you don’t pry anymore.

yoongi’s shoulders fall in defeat when you don’t agree or deny, he just watches you continue to eat his food with furrowed eyebrows.

he took it too far, he should’ve stopped with breakfast today and tried to convince you to a movie another day, when you’ve warmed up more to him. you are probably still stuck in whatever happened last night and want your space.

“there’s this new horror one i saw on instagram the other day, i must have the link somewhere, i’ll put it on in a bit.” you look away with heated cheeks as you struggle to swallow your food.

oh.

you just agreed to the movie.

yoongi believes he could fly.

-

“man, this is not as scary as everyone said it was” you complain through a mouthful of popcorn, and yoongi nods in agreement, stuffing his face with a handful of popcorn too.

“by the way” yoongi sits up after hours of slouching on the couch and you signal for him to continue. “how did your date go yesterday?” he mutters, as casually as he could, reaching for more popcorn to avoid the tension surrounding the question.

last night comes back in flashes, your cute date, running away from the cute date, coming home to yoongi and confessing you would never get over him, covering him with a blanket and crying yourself to sleep.

shit, did he hear you?

“it went well, i came home pretty late though.” the lie tumbles out of you in lack of a better response.

yoongi knows you’re lying but he’s happy to play along with you because last night did a number on him too.

“glad to know it went well. i wouldn’t know when you came, i fell asleep watching some documentary” he munches on his popcorn loudly, he misses the error in his lie.

he wasn’t watching a documentary.

he was watching ‘finding nemo’.

and you know that because you were the one who shut the tv off.

you know that he’s lying. but instead of confronting him about that and that possibly leading to a conversation about what you uttered into the night, thinking he was asleep, wasn’t a risk you were willing to take.

“right, i did see you asleep.”

and i poured my heart out, right next to you.

yoongi in unaware his lie is caught; you prefer that he stays unaware. because if anything you said last night is what prompted him to act the way he did today, you are glad it didn’t all go to waste.

“we should sleep” he slouches back on the couch, too close to you, he’s hyperaware of your arms pressing against his but now that he’s already fallen back, he can’t quite get up as easily anymore.

he doesn’t want to get up.

“we should.” you agree.

neither of you moves a single inch.

laughter explodes into the room at that, both of your heads falling to the side to look at each other with squinted eyes full of happiness.

but when the laughter dies down and you are left to catch your breath, you are suddenly too aware of yoongi’s face being so close to yours, you don’t move away.

yoongi knows you know that you two are far too close.

he doesn’t move away either.

you start to lean in, your body is on autopilot as your hands sneak up to sit on the top of his knee, yoongi shudders from your touch.

how long had he gone without it?

how had he survived for so long?

how did his heart continue to beat without yours in his hands?

he panics internally as his hands come up to grab onto the sides of your face, like he won’t let go, like letting you go once was enough pain for him.

and when your lips touch, every bit of control you had left on your body evaporates into the air around you, you are grabbing his hair, and he is pulling you closer, and not once do you stop to take a breath.

because you know that when this moment is over, both of you won’t speak a word about it.

you can’t remember the last time yoongi kissed you this way, like his hands would disappear if they weren’t holding you, like his entire life purpose was to take your breath away and never give it back, like every part of him had been aching to do this.

and then it does end, painfully, too slowly, you pull away before your chest burns away, he pulls away because he has to.

you were right.

you don’t speak a word about it.

-

there was no ‘good night’ after that, there was no ‘see you later’, there was nothing left in that moment except the hope stored away in yoongi’s eyes. you pretend you don’t notice it as you, once again, eat the food he makes you in the morning.

yoongi knows he has to say sorry though, he hadn’t planned on that happening, he was just another lucky idiot that night, he was aware enough to know it wasn’t right for two to do that even if you’ve been together for years.

things were different and yoongi always hated change but he had to overcome this change instead of walking away from it, if he wanted to even dream of having you back.

so, he is the one who starts the uncomfortable conversation that you’d been anxiously waiting for.

“about last night-“

“you don’t have to worry about it.” you answer, as quick as lighting, and you even surprise yourself with your speed.

“oh?” yoongi raises an eyebrow at you.

what the fuck was he supposed to understand from that?

“come on yoongi, it’s not like we haven’t done it before” your chuckle following your words, is uncomfortable, tight, and completely unnatural.

“right” yoongi drawls, still not quite getting what you were hinting at.

were you okay with it?

were you not?

would he just have to kiss you again to find out?

“it was just a mistake, it happens, it’s not a big deal, i’m still moving out, you are still very much in love with your career, we don’t have to discuss it anymore” you eat as you speak, trying to bury the longing and bitterness in your voice with cold cereal.

so, that is what you meant.

yoongi doesn’t reply as his head stays down, he gets up soon after, cleaning up after himself and you, he doesn’t speak a single word or spare you a glance and disappears into his studio.

you are all too familiar with this scene.

you only watch as he does all this, you wouldn’t admit to another living soul that your heart grew heavier than it had ever been and that your chest felt tight enough to snap.

yoongi angrily walks around his studio, you could think it was a mistake but yoongi would break his computer before calling it a mistake.

but he realized he still had a long way to go.

yoongi had to be patient, he had no other choice.

but he doesn’t realize every second he goes by without telling you what was weighing on his heart, was another second your already dying hope vanished.

he can’t help but think back on the day he overheard you talking to your friend about your relationship, he subconsciously never really let go of that day, that day, he concluded that it was out of yoongi’s hands to do anything.

“i can’t believe you called, it’s been way too long” he heard your sigh of happiness outside the door, and yoongi paused, he doesn’t exactly know why he stayed to listen but he does.

your relationship, by then, had already been on the rocks, but neither of you acknowledged it.

“i wasn’t going to call, but rumi was telling me you were on a date with a certain someone” your friend sang from the other side of the speaker, clearly trying to tease you but you don’t say anything to that.

yoongi knows why you went silent, making him dig his heels deeper and listen closely to see what you would say.

“yeah, about that” you let out a hesitant chuckle, your voice struggling to keep your cheery tone. “hey, you good? what happened?” your friend’s concern was palpable and yoongi almost scoffed at her, he cared about you too, it wasn’t just her.

but yoongi couldn’t deny the weeks you both had gone without so much as exchanging a proper conversation.

yoongi would never take the blame for it, though.

“we didn’t end up going” yoongi peeks through the door to see your face turned away from the camera and he hated that he noticed the pain etched in your furrowed eyebrows. your friend stayed silent at your simple, but heavy answer, she could tell this wasn’t the first time it happened.

“but today is your anniversary?”

“it is.” you agree with a gulp, still refusing to meet her gaze.

“how long has this been going on?” her voice comes softly, so softly that your chin starts to wobble.

“nothing’s been going on, yoongi and i are fine.” you wanted to believe your words but anyone with two eyes and ears could see nothing was fine with you two.

“is that what you are telling yourself?”

“what else am i supposed to do?” your glare turns sharp and angry, you were fed up with everyone coddling you, you felt claustrophobic enough when you were with yourself.

“you know, if you want to cry, you can. none of us would judge you, you know that very well.” she tries to comfort you and yoongi’s breath turns impatient.

why was she trying so hard to convince you something was wrong, when you were telling her that everything was fine?

why did yoongi feel like she was trying to start a fight?

why did yoongi, a small part of him, feel like a fight was inevitable?

“there’s nothing to cry about, my boyfriend is just busy for an anniversary that might come again, it isn’t as important as what he does.” as you say it, a dread falls over both you and yoongi that there might not be another anniversary.

his heart free falls to his feet.

he had been busy; he wasn’t lying about that but yoongi hadn’t checked on you all this while. he can’t remember how many dates he canceled.

but that wasn’t his fault, that was life, that was his life and you knew about his life before you entered it.

it couldn’t be yoongi’s fault, it had to be yours.

yoongi’s eyebrows scrunch in bitterness at the defeat in your voice, at the absurdity of the situation he never thought you two would have to be in, at the world for keeping you apart.

he looks away just when your sobs break the silence in the room.

“i thought i couldn’t breathe without yoongi, but i am, i am living many days without him, with only glances of him, i am living and breathing.” yoongi’s head leaves the doorway before you finish your sentence. if you wanted to live without him, he would let you go, he didn’t need you to stay out of pity.

“but it all hurts, and i don’t want to do any of that without him” is what he fails to catch in his anger.

yoongi looks back at the day mournfully now, he should’ve taken you out right then and there, he shouldn’t have given up just because it seemed like you did, his head falls in his hands as he rakes his hands through his hair in agitated motions.

he wasn’t sure if he could win you back.

but he wasn’t going to give up, he wasn’t going to make that mistake again.

-

your days continued, as usual, he made you breakfast and packed you lunch, did your laundry and set them aside, he made sure you ate after you got off work and you both watched a movie or listened to songs together, or anything at all, together at the end of the day.

you were feeling good.

too good.

things were going well enough to make you nervous because suddenly, everything you knew from your breakup to the two weeks of enmity that followed those two weeks, changed drastically.

it felt like everything went back to the way it was and as much as you should be enjoying it, you didn’t, without confirmation of where you both stood, you couldn’t.

and soon, there came a catalyst that changed everything once again.

it was a mistake.

yoongi would never intentionally do this.

he took your pile of clothes as he usually does, placing them in a bucket and preparing to do your laundry along with his.

yoongi’s heart thrums in satisfaction as he places them in the washing machine, he always felt good doing chores for you, he doesn’t know why and with how well things were going, he dances and sings his way to the laundry detergent and whistles happily as he pours it heavily over your clothes, making sure to add extra fabric softener.

he leaves to do some light work in his studio, not knowing the mistake he committed.

yoongi was gunning to ruin your life, you were so sure of it.

nothing else could explain your sopping wet blouses, supposed to be white, at your feet.

you gape in horror as you pick the pile apart frantically to search for any blouses that could be salvaged, after all, these were all you wore to work, and your head falls in defeat once you see all of them in multi-colors instead of their usual stark white.

your hands tighten by your side as you feel hot all over with pure rage, you quickly grab the ex-white blouses and storm into the living room where yoongi scrolls casually on his phone, his pout whistles out tunes which fade away as he catches sight of your heavy steps towards him.

you throw your blouses at his feet and your nose flares, yoongi jumps in his seat.

“what the fuck happened?” he gasps out, not understanding the anger in your eyes.

“yoongi, this isn’t funny.” you manage to say beyond gritted teeth and he scrunches his eyebrows.

“what isn’t funny?” he frowns in confusion.

“stop acting dumb, i will fucking force detergent down your throat” that raises concern in him, he looks down at the pile of clothes by his feet.

none of the whites were whites anymore.

fuck.

“okay, listen i swear this is an accident, i’ll get you new on-“

“i wear these to work! what is wrong with you?” you point down at the pathetic pile of clothes by his feet with hands shaking from anger.

“you know, i wouldn’t do this intentionally, i am aware you wear these to work, let’s go out now and get you new shirts, i’m sure some shops will be open” he gets up from his seat, searching for his keys.

“don’t act dumb yoongi, it doesn’t suit you at all.”

yoongi starts getting frustrated, why don’t you believe him?

“let’s go and get them before the shops close” he tries to remain calm.

“i’m not going anywhere with you.” you stay rooted in your place and yoongi’s patience starts to run thin. “i’m telling you, it was a mistake, i’m not crazy enough to do this intentionally, now let’s not fight and get you shirts you need for tomorrow before we can’t.”

“don’t act like you are some hero, you are the one who ruined them!” you don’t understand why you are so angry or why you can’t seem to move from where you stood.

“and i’m trying to fix it.” he grumbles out, slamming the keys on the counter beside him.

you stare at the keys with heavy breaths and he stares at you, his anger melting as quickly as it came to the surface.

“let’s go.” he takes the keys in his hands again.

maybe it was the confusion that finally manifested with an ugly head.

maybe you hated how comfortable you got around yoongi again.

maybe you are seeing nothing but all his mistakes until that minute.

maybe you aren’t being fair at all.

but you snap.

“you think you are the only one who does important work?” you didn’t mean to get personal or bring up the topic that broke you both up again, but you couldn’t help it. your arms cross against your chest as yoongi spins on his heels to turn back to you.

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“you clearly think you are the only one in the entire world who does meaningful work, the rest of us are just slaving away for money and security, but of course, the great min yoongi works for the greater good, for the comfort of many, for millions who adore him, that is why any work that is not his, is not valuable” your voice drips with venom and mocking as you take slow steps towards him, yoongi’s face falls into his usual glare as he watches you speak.

you poke your finger against his chest, your voice quivering with poorly controlled fury, “who the fuck do you think you are? do you think that writing a few songs and getting some records will erase how horrible you make people you are supposed to love, feel? do you think that you can get away with everything because your name is not just a name, but also a brand? i can at least say that my name belongs and serves only me, can you? you are nothing but walking merchandise that anyone can buy.” again, you never meant to say all of that, you know better than to call anyone an object but that was the thing about your anger, your anger had the power of making you say the most vicious words in the world and you had never learned to control it.

“you don’t mean that” yoongi forces himself to say because those words from anyone else, wouldn’t mean jack shit to him but coming from you, they speared his heart over and over again. he waits, he waits with his sinking heart that you would agree with him, he doesn’t believe in god but at that moment, he wished for every power to let you agree with him.

the air grew heavier around you both as you let out a sarcastic laugh.

“i have never meant anything more. you fucked with my work life, you know how much of an asshole my manager is about dress codes but you did the one thing that could ruin weeks of work for me, and you did it all by yourself, so congratulations min yoongi, you have once again proved to be the worst thing to ever happen to me” you clapped slowly as you stepped away from him, your face grim and dark as you turn away.

yoongi’s heart clenches as your words circle his body in a dangerous tornado.

walking merchandise that anyone can buy.

walking merchandise that anyone can buy.

walking merchandise that anyone can buy.

walking merchandise that anyone can b-

your glare slips as the words you uttered sink into your skin, and by the time you turn back around, yoongi’s eyes already gathered enough tears that they run down his face.

“is that what you’ve thought of me till now?” his voice breaks and so does your heart. “yoongi, no-“ you step towards him but he backs away, his defenses climb back right infront of your eyes as his body suddenly looks too far away.

“that’s not fair, you don’t get to tell me now, that you thought i was merchandise, that i keep hurting everyone i love, when all i’ve done these past weeks is try and win you back.” your world stops spinning as yoongi admits to his trials.

you feel like the biggest asshole in the world.

“yoongi, you were right, i didn’t mean-“ you walk over to him with hesitant steps, he doesn’t back away this time but he doesn’t let you finish either.

“i know i’ll never be worthy of you, i know i can only try but i’m trying, god knows i’m fucking trying because even if you can live and breathe without me, i can’t do any of that without you.” your own eyes start to tear up as you reach to wipe the wetness of his cheeks and yoongi takes a shaky breathe in as his face involuntarily cuddles into your palm.

“and you were wrong that night, i will never move on from you, i am simply not capable of moving on from you, because i have never loved anyone more than i’ve loved you, i’ve never wanted someone as much as i have wanted you, every bit of me belongs to you, none of me is mine anymore. and it took you being away for me to realize that.” yoongi’s confession stops time and space. he feels exposed like someone stripped him naked and threw him into traffic but he finally lets you know everything he’s dreamed of telling you.

you press your forehead against him with a wobbling chin and cup his face with shaky hands.

“did you ever think, that by loving me, you were hurting me too?” you needed him to know the extent of his pain, the depth of his scars. yoongi lets you tell him, he needed to know as well.

“every day, i waited.” the ball in your throat gets tighter as you speak and yoongi hates that he’s the reason why.

“every single date you canceled, every night i fell asleep without you, every meal i had without you, all those days i went without seeing you, i need you to know that it killed me slowly, that it made me a shell of the person i am.” yoongi felt shame rushing through him at your words, at the pain he caused you.

he would understand if you didn’t let him in again.

he wouldn’t try again if you didn’t want him to, he has too much respect for you.

“i love you too much to not give you a chance, heck i would probably give you a chance even if you don’t ask for it.” he looks up with blurry eyes.

“but i need to believe that it will be different this time, not just know that it will be.” you step away at that, staring at yoongi who was left standing with a burden that suddenly fell on his shoulders.

how was he supposed to make you believe that?

could you not trust his word alone?

but then again, his words haven’t exactly ended things well for you both.

“how do you want me to show you?” he needed to know, there was nothing he needed to know more.

your breathing stalls at his words.

“please tell me.” his voice breaks as he whispers that, yoongi’s eyes gathering tears again and your heart falls to your feet at the redness coating his eyes.

you wished none of today would have happened.

“yoongi.” you whisper back but you don’t even know what he could do to mend things, you are not sure he can but you can’t deny him a chance.

you don’t have an answer for him.

“i am going apartment hunting soon” you confess finally, and he feels his breath get knocked out of his chest. “oh really?” he asks, sniffing as he looks away.

“my friend knows this real estate agent person who set me up for a few tours, you have to understand why i had to do it.” he knows exactly why you had to do it and he hated knowing that it was all because of him.

but he wasn’t going to give up after ripping his heart out for you.

“i’ll come with you.” yoongi nods and you frown at him, “yoongi, you really don’t have to, i know you are bus-“ he cuts you off, “i am not busy, let me come with you, i want to at least make sure you move into a nice place.” that was a total lie but it wasn’t like yoongi had a lot of options left.

you ponder for a while, and yoongi waits patiently for your answer, he won’t push you if you deny but he will be as stubborn as he can be without frustrating you.

“fine, i’ll let you know by tomorrow.” you finally give in and without another word, go back into your room. you close your door with an exhausted sigh, your face aligning with your reflection across the room.

your eyes were redder than ever and all the energy had been sucked out of your face, making you look sick and you felt sick too, your entire body was aching and you wondered if yoongi felt this way too, if he was as tired, if he felt like the world was pulling his body down, if he maybe wanted to give up because of this feeling.

you stay several minutes this way; you hadn’t thought you would call yoongi merchandise. you, of all people, knew how stressful his job got but you no longer wanted to use that as an excuse for how he treated you.

“how do you want me to show you?”

those words sent a shiver down your spine at that moment, it was the desperation that drenched his voice, the way his hands were shaking beside his body, and his eyes that looked through every inch of you, trying to find ways to convince you.

a slow knock drew you out of your mind, your hand locking around the doorknob to pull it open, and there stood the reason for all your pain and yearning.

yoongi held a tray of hot soup with ginger tea, and a bunch of chocolates, his gaze settling everywhere but at you, as he stood with shifting feet.

“you didn’t eat anything.” you didn’t realize you hadn’t eaten all day but apparently, yoongi had and that tightened your chest around your heart a little more, suffocating you with the love you held for him a little more.

with trembling fingers, you hoped he wouldn’t notice, you take the tray from his hands and place it on a table, and yoongi turns to leave, he didn’t want to bother you too much, he just wanted to make sure you ate.

you pulled on his wrist, not exactly sure of what you will do next but somehow, you needed to touch him, feel that he was real and that you both were here, so lost but still together.

“t-thank you.” you stutter out, every other word you had woven all these months stayed trapped in your mouth. yoongi stared at the hand that held his wrist, he had almost forgotten how out of breath this used to make him feel. how he used to lose nights of sleep imagining you and him, in a house, waking up next to you, falling asleep with you, long before you had both ever committed, yoongi had imagined every day in his life with you in it.

he can’t believe how close he is to losing all of it.

“we should talk, yoongi.” you feel tired but you won’t be catching any sleep in the state the both of you were in, he would spend all night worrying about you, and you would spend all night worrying about him.

yoongi silently followed you into the guest room, it was still strange for him to see you in another part of the house, he eyes the makeup that was scattered on the vanity, the clothes lying around on the sofa, your socks at the edge of the bed and as silly as it sounded, he hated that none of this mess was in the room you two shared.

“i’m still going to see the apartments” you start off awkwardly, taking a seat on the bed and yoongi stood at the corner of the bed, hating that it felt wrong to sit next to you at the moment.

when had it become so bad?

“and i’m still coming with you to see them.” he concludes and gathers all his courage before plopping down next to you. if today didn’t go the way it did, you would laugh at the distance between you two and pull him closer and tell him to stop acting funny, but none of that felt right.

“i think you understand you fucked up” you say, finally looking up at his figure next to you and you shouldn’t have, your resolve already was spread thin, and looking at yoongi didn’t help.  “i do.” he agrees and nods shamefully.

“what are you going to do to fix it?”

“anything you want me to.” his answer is quick and firm, he was prepared for anything you would ask for, but you were tired of asking.

“it’s not about what i want, yoongi. i need to believe that you want this as much as i do, and that you’re prepared to fight for it, asking me about what to do is you just handing over the responsibility to me instead of at least trying to figure it out by yourself.” he listens intently, and puts himself in your shoes.

“i took a break from work.” your eyes widen at him and you have to force your jaw shut because you could’ve imagined anything but not those words leaving yoongi’s lips of all people.

“you, what?”

“work is good, very good but it was keeping me from you and it was hard to make that decision but i can always work, i can’t lose you. i can lose millions of dollars, this house, all my clothes, everything but nothing mounts to losing you.”

you have to force yourself to look away when he says that, because you never could have imagined that you were worth all of that and more to him and you are well aware of his deep affection for his work which makes it all the more sentimental that he was taking a break for you.

“i want to be worthy of you again, i want to spend time with you, i want to take care of you, i want to be anywhere around you as long as you want me. i thought i was working for us, for us to be comfortable, but i got selfish in the middle, and i ignored the person who kept me going when it got too hard.” he pauses, his breath shaking as his eyes fall shut. he remembers the exact second his chest almost blew up at the sight of you leaving home, he never wants to experience that again.

“it’s all on me, i should’ve never let you feel like i didn’t love you, loving you is one of the only things i can do right.”

“besides music.” you add in hopes to lighten the mood and you are successful when a full grin grows on yoongi, one that has your cheeks warming up with joy.

“besides music.” he agrees, “but i’ve done it for enough time now, i just want to love you, in the way you deserve to be loved. which is why i’m asking, no i’m begging for you to let me do this right, one last time.”

“what will change? if i say, yes?”

“all my time will be yours; all of my attention has always been yours and it will remain yours, i will make your food like i always have, we will go on dates whenever we want, and we will watch all the movies we’ve wanted to watch but couldn’t, we’ll do everything we used to do but better. it won’t go back to how it was but i don’t want us to stay as the shadow of who we used to be, because we’re meant for more than that.” he says sincerely, with his heartbeat echoing in every word and you couldn’t just pretend like you didn’t hear it.

“as much as i try to will this feeling away, i can never stop hoping for us.” in the next second that he utters those words, you throw yourself in his arms, and your final resolve breaks as his shaky hands snake down the length of your back like he can’t believe he gets to hold you like this again.

the first tear slips without knowledge, secretly and it disappears in his shoulder, his tear disappears in the crook of your neck. the tears that follow, fall shamelessly, without any intention of stopping and none of you say another word, not another ‘i need you to stay because i’ll lose the important piece of me if you go’, not another ‘i love you, like i’ve loved nothing else and losing you scares me like nothing else’, all of those remain unspoken but they hang in the air around you.

“i believe, with everything in me, that we’re meant for more than this.” yoongi braves to look at you, his eyes zeroing in on the curves of your cheeks, he hates that he was the reason for the tears that have fallen on them.

he can’t let it ever happen again.

“do you?”

-

“this one has beautiful floor-to-ceiling windows, i heard you have a passion for reading, so the sunlight will be perfect.” your agent says enthusiastically as he walks you through the sixth apartment you’ve seen today.

“she also has a passion for sleeping so that won’t work.” yoongi groans as he walks behind you, your face grows red as you slap him on the arm.

“if you’re going to complain about every house, just stay outside, i will look through them.” you grit your teeth at him but your heart softens when his mouth pulls into a whine, “our house is perfect, i literally don’t understand why you’re moving.”

all yoongi has done since he’s stepped out of home is complain about every single house you’ve been to.

“the closet won’t hold half your clothes.”

“a big kitchen is useless for you.”

“this literally looks like a druggie’s hideout.”

“it’s too white.”

no, you are not sure what he meant with the last one either but all you know is that he’s whisked you away from all of them before you could even consider them as options.

“we’ve talked about this, and we agreed that space could do us some good, and no, our house isn’t perfect, my bookshelf has no space left.” you complain lowly so that the agent doesn’t hear you but lo and behold he does. yoongi, on the other hand, can’t remember when he agreed that space would do you good, hell that’s the last thing he wants.

“which is why this house would be perfect for you, the bedroom offers a stunning full wall bookshelf that you can stock up with all of your reads without compromising for space!” he cheerfully chatters and yoongi’s jaw tightens, he hates this agent with all his body and soul even if he’s known him for an hour.

“i can build a bookshelf from scratch” he mumbles grumpily but he can’t help the way his heart flutters when he sees you catch sight of the bookshelf. it’s everything you ever want in a bedroom, a proper vanity, a low-set bed, perfect lighting, and of course, the majestic bookshelf.

your smile grows as you trace your fingers over the plush vanity and the bookshelf and yoongi’s face breaks into a half-smile.

it’s bittersweet, to have you, but in a different house, not the home you’ve built for years but yoongi would never deny anything that grew that smile on your face.

“i really like this one.” you beam at the agent who sighs out in relief but maintains a professional smile, “if you’re all set for it, i’ll get the paperwork ready.” he offers immediately and your eyes pass on yoongi’s figure in the doorway. he smiles at you encouragingly, as if he’s okay with it, but you know he’s not.

just then, yoongi’s phone rings and he excuses himself to step out to take the call, right before he leaves, he hears you say, “i’ll take this one” in a lovely, sing-song tone that he knows you only use when you’re truly happy. his shoulders slump but he knew that this would happen today, he had told his heart all night to not give up on him.

he answers the phone with an irritated tone, he didn’t know how to feel, he could barely listen to the person speaking to him on the phone, he wanted to be happy just for the fact that you agreed to give him a second chance, and that you were excited to spend time with him, but he couldn’t help the sinking in his chest at the thought of waking up and not seeing you.

“no, i am not coming in for work next week, i already told you this, don’t call me again.” yoongi says in a calm but stern manner, the person tries talking again but you were out of the house, and yoongi could care less about anything else.

“did you sign the papers? did you need a pen? i think i have one in my car, let me go grab it.” he rambles and hastens to make his way to the car but you bite back a smile and grip onto his hand.

“yoongi.” you step into his open arms and hug his torso, yoongi is confused but his arms wrap around you, and unconsciously you both are swaying in each other’s embrace.

the house was great but being in yoongi’s arms for these two minutes felt more like home than any house in the world and every corner of the house reminded you of the lack of his presence.

the kitchen, where he won’t cook, where he won’t make fun of your dishes.

the couch, where his headphones don’t lay carelessly.

the bedroom, where his side is neatly arranged while yours stays a mess.

the balcony, where he won’t sip his coffee dramatically at sunset to amuse you.

and the bookshelf, that he won’t help you fill with all the books he gets home, just because they reminded him of you.

you had wanted a home and space but you could find both of those in yoongi.

“you can build a bookshelf, right?” yoongi’s eyebrows scrunch at your question, he almost feels offended that you have to ask that.

“um duh, you know i can.” he whines and you giggle into his chest.

“then, i’m not moving.” yoongi’s arms almost fall away at your words, a strange mix of relief, gratefulness and content fill his every crevice as he tries not to hug you tighter, a punishment for even thinking of keeping you away from him.

and he will take this mix of emotions and remember it forever, the day you gave up on space to stay with him, he will remember the favor you did for his heart for as long as he breathes.

“i will build a million bookshelves if that’s what you want, all you have to do is stay, forever.” forever is a big word, a word yoongi never believed in, always saying that everything in life was on borrowed time but with you, it feels like too short of time.

you knew how he felt about forever so for him to say it to you, rushes into your chest and spreads with a warmth that makes you feel all things giddy and good.

he says nothing, no words, just keeps you in his arms after time had kept you away for too long.

“let’s go home, yoongi.”

#bts #bts fluff #bts imagines #jungkook smut #bts angst #bts smut #bts scenarios #jeon jungkook #jungkook fluff #yoongi moodboard #min yoongi #min suga #yoongi fluff #yoongi one shot #yoongi angst #yoongi x reader #yoongi fic #yoongi aesthetic #yoongi smut #bts yoongi #yoongi fanfic #namfinessed #yoongi fic recs #kim taehyung #jhope packs #park jimin #jin fic recs #bts masterlist #bts fic recs #bts fics

[seongclb]

— enhypen when they marry a fan on live to make their s/o jealous !

idol!enhypen x reader, established relationship au, fluff & no warnings.

hi guys! hope you enjoy my first work <3

♫ sunshine girl by jakob

𖠗 이희승 | lee heeseung.

oh gosh

definitely would tease you but at the same time shower you in affection bc he just finds it so so cute that you’re jealous over something like this AAAAA

you’d probably be sitting in the corner of the room while he was on live, reading comments.

at first, even, you’d probably be studying rather than paying that much attention to your boyfriend

but your ears perk up at your boyfriend reading a rather concerning comment

“heeseung will you marry me for ten seconds?”

he lets out a giggle.

and slightly glances at your expression where you’re sitting with a raised brow.

he smiles back at the camera and starts counting down from ten.

you would have scoffed if not for the fear that the fans would hear

as soon as the live ended, you look at him with straight face

“what is it, love?” you almost throw your notepad at the smirk on his lips

“love?” you question. “shouldn’t you be calling your wife that?”

he’d probably walk over to you and wrap his arms around your crossed arms and place a kiss on your forehead :(

“i divorced them bc of how cute you are”

𖠗 박종성 | park jongseong.

i don’t think jay would ever think to do something like this to his beloved himself

he was on live with jungwon and niki who read the comment “jay hyung, a fan asked if you’d marry them for ten seconds”

jay would be hesitant but after seeing a playful expression on his two younger members faces, something irked him to play along

he knew you were at home watching so he suddenly thought about how fun it would be

“sure!” he smiles and counts down from ten.

now, when he gets home he expects to be questioned on why on earth he would agree to that

but instead

hes punished with silent treatment

oh boy does he work for you to give him attention

“y/n, it wasn’t even me! jungwon and niki read it out! if i saw it i wouldn’t have even read it!”

can’t sleep if you don’t talk to him

if you talk to him but you’re still evidently mad, hes gonna cling onto you like a koala when he sleeps

meaning you’re stuck there until you show him some love bc hes never gonna do smth like this again

will probably tell of jungwon and niki for no reason 😭

𖠗 심재윤 | sim jaeyun.

sigh

the type to say “10 seconds?? i’ll marry you for way longer” with a wink or something

or even something like “you only wanna marry me for 10 seconds? that’s a shame, i won’t even be able to give u what u deserve”

deadass would say smth cheesy you can’t fight me on this one and it would be merely for the reason that he knows you’re eventually gonna see it even if you arent rn

and that’s exactly what happens

you probably won’t have seen it for like the first day but since you’re so obsessed with your bf, you follow his name hashtag on like every social media platform

so when a certain video in particular is trending on every single one of those apps, you know it’s bad. you know who you’re dating after all

at this point, jake doesn’t even remember what he said so when you angrily go over to his dorms, phone in hand and ready to scold him, he’s like “when did i even do that?” which only makes you more mad

then when he realises omg he gets so excited like “AAA i’ve been waiting for this”

and then just smothers you in kisses and hugs bc you’re too adorable and no one else compares

*crying* but so are you bc you’re wondering how many more fans he’s gonna flirt with for the rest of your lives together

𖠗 박성훈 | park sunghoon.

this mf omggggg

would def do it with the hopes that you’ll just be so cute with him afterwards so he could just tease you

and tbf that’s what he ends up getting so for him it’s like a success

not only would he agree to marrying them but tbh i think sunghoon would do a bit more

like hugging the camera, bragging about his looks knowing the fans would comment all sorts of things etc

he would just do the most for no reason.

“aww is my baby jealous over a ten second relationship with a fan who i’ve never met? that’s so cute” *cheek pinch*

you’d whack away his hand and pout

“that’s all it took for you to marry someone else :(”

he laughs at all your responses but part of him actually feels bad

he gives you a bit of secret reassurance like before you go to sleep, he’ll cuddle you a bit tighter and say sweet things to you

“you’re so perfect, baby, i’m so lucky to have you.” “i don’t know what i’d do without you, my cute baby”

lots of cheek kisses and pinches

LORDDDD 🙏

soft hoon unleashes in the night

in the day he goes back to “which fan should i let have me for today” to which you throw a pillow at him for

#enhypen #enha scenarios #enhypen heeseung #enhypen jay #enhypen jake #enhypen sunghoon #lee heeseung #jay park #jake sim #park sunghoon #enha fics #enhypen imagines #enhypen reactions #enhypen fluff #enha fluff #enha drabbles #enha imagines #heeseung imagines #jay park imagines #jake sim imagines #park sunghoon imagines #sunghoon imagines

[julilovesyou444]

ok first of all your writing is so good i’m literally in love????? anyways, could i request a tom x reader fluff with them cuddling but like tom doesn’t rly know how to do it bc he’s used to hook ups and stuff and so it’s diff for him?? i feel like that’s super specific but i think i wld be so cuteee idkk. anyways tysm pookie 💗💗💗

show me how ~ tom kaulitz

AHHHH thank you love!! you are so sweet💟 I’ll try!!! thank you for requesting, this is my first time doing one of these so I’ll do my best!! if you have a request, feel free to do it in the little thingy on my page, this was so fun !! ALSO, if this isn’t what you were expecting or anything, I’ll write it again differently, no problem ☺️

background ~ you and your boyfriend had just started dating not long ago, and there were a lot of things in the relationship that were new to him. he hadn’t been in many relationships at all, so he isn’t sure on everything, for example, cuddling and affection. you show him how :)

warnings ~ none, just fluff and cutesy stuff, tad bit of angst too

I’m Montenegrin so please forgive me if my English is messed up !

~

you had been at home all day, just picking up and relaxing. it was a pretty chill day though. you’re boyfriend, Tom, was at the studio all day. At first it was just a couple days of the week for a few hours, but lately it had been everyday for the whole day. You could tell it was taking a toll on him. He was tired and more irritable. You knew it wasn’t his fault, and you honestly felt really bad for him. When he would come home, he wouldn’t want anyone to bother him. After dating Tom for a week or two, you came to realize he was not an affectionate person. You thought that he just needed to warm up to you, but it had been almost a month. Besides kissing and sex, he rarely touched you. You couldn’t figure out what was wrong, so you tried to ignore it for the main part.

today was another long day for him. you weren’t living together yet, but he just slept over at your place all the time. you had made dinner for him tonight, not something you always did but you wanted to be nice. you were sitting on your bed, scrolling through random websites on your laptop when you heard the front door open and shut. Tom didn’t call out to you like he usually did. You knew today probably sucked for him. The fear of him rejecting you as he sometimes did made it hard for you to leave your room, but you did anyways.

You walked down the hallway to main room of the apartment to see Tom sitting on the couch, watching tv. He looked angry. The dinner you made him still sat on the table, untouched, and probably cold now.

“I made you dinner.”, you spoke softly. His eyes darted from the screen to yours. Tom looked so upset, almost as if he wanted to cry.

“I know. Thanks, but I’m not hungry.”, he replied coldly.

You took a step closer to him, almost testing the waters.

“How was the studio?”

“Shit. It was shit. Do I need to pause this or…?”, he replied rather harshly, referring to the television.

“Tom…”, you trailed off, very quiet. He saw the hurt in your eyes and immediately hated himself for taking his anger out on you. He grabbed the remote and turned off the t.v.

“I’m sorry, I’m just in a bad mood. I’m really stressed and tired and I don’t know how to get rid of it, but I shouldn’t take it out on you.”, Tom said, sounding genuine as ever.

“come here.”, you said, putting your hand out for him to take. You could tell he was very hesitant, but he took your hand and let you pull him up from the couch.

before he could argue or protest, you pulled him into a hug. you usually didn’t hug, but it felt like he needed it. You wrapped your arms tightly around his torso and pushed the side of your face into his chest. At first, his arms were just outwards, unsure of where to go. When he became more aware and comfortable, and put his arms around your neck, hands on the side of your head as he placed his head on top on yours. you could feel him relax into the hug, and it made you so happy that you were finally able to do that for him.

“I’m sorry for being rude, today was just so so bad, and these long ass days are tiring me out.”, Tom said, his voice muffled into your head. He left a soft kiss on the crown of your head.

“I know, and I’m sorry. Let me help.”, you pulled away, looking up at him.

“Help how?”

“Y’know, help you relax and stuff. Make you feel better.”

“I’m not really in the mood to fuc-“

“No, Tom, not that. Like just get into pajamas and I’ll rub your back and cuddle you, yea?”

“Uhh-“

“Please, trust me, you’ll feel so much better.”

Maybe it was your pleading eyes, or the fact that he secretly wanted to be intimate with you in this sense, but it didn’t take a lot for him to give in.

“Okay.”

“Yea?”, you beamed. He couldn’t help but smile back before playfully rolling his eyes.

“Yea.”

“Okay, go get changed into something comfier.”

He nodded and grabbed some of his clothes from your room before heading to the bathroom.

You quickly went into your room and started trying to “set the mood”. You dimmed the lights as much as possible and lit a few candles. You grabbed a bunch of really soft blankets and some water too. You wanted him to feel comfortable around you. He wasn’t affectionate or that touchy with you, and you wanted him to be.

Tom walked into your room, looking around, admiring your dedication.

“Lay down.”, you instructed.

“So bossy.”, he jokingly muttered.

He laid down on your bed as you walked over.

“Lay on your stomach.”

He groaned but turned over onto his stomach.

You climbed up onto the bed, and then put one of your legs over him so you were straddling his lower back.

“what are you-“

“shhh just relax.”

your hands found their way under his shirt, making their way up to his upperback. You began to slowly massage circles into his back, feeling him instantly become less tense under you. You gradually added pressure in places that felt a little more stiff. You began to knead the knots out of his back too. There were a lot. No wonder the poor boy was so upset, his stress was causing him to get strained.

You went on massaging him for a bit more, and you could tell how calm he was getting.

you climbed off of his back and laid on your side next to him, facing him. His face was towards you and his eyes were shut, but you could tell he wasn’t asleep just yet.

“did you like that?”, you said softly. he opened his eyes narrowly and nodded.

“yes, thank you. you don’t even know how much I needed that. I’m so tired now.”, he murmured.

you opened up your arms. Tom watched you intently.

“c’mere”

“for what?”

“pleaseee don’t fight me on this one. I just wanna hold you.”

“what, like cuddling?”, he questioned, looking doubtful.

“yea… is that okay?”

“um… yea, yea it is. its just that… fuck, this is embarrassing.”, he rubbed his eyes, trying to hide his uneasiness.

“listen, all of the girls I’ve been with before, I never really did anything like that with them. usually we would just hook up and they would leave. what im trying to say I guess, is that I don’t really know how to cuddle or anything like that. I sound so stupid. its kinda just like hugging, right?”, he rambled.

at first, you couldn’t even say anything because you could believe that your beautiful, beautiful boyfriend had never been shown love and affection like that before. he so clearly deserved it, even though he had his moods, he was the sweetest thing. You felt bad for him. That was probably why he hadn’t shown or done anything like that for you before.

“I’ll show you how.”, you responded with a small but sweet smile. his eyes sorta lit up and he picked up his head from the pillow.

“show me how?”

“mhm, c’mere. don’t make me wait any longer, im tired too y’know.”, you teased him a little. Tom scoffed before scooting over to you, waiting for your instructions.

“put your head against my chest, under mine.”

he listened to you, putting the side of his face against your chest. You took his arm and wrapped it around your waist, and he quickly got the memo and snuck his other arm beneath you so that they were both wrapped around you. He pulled you closer, forcing you to smile. you entangled your legs with his.

you two were finally cuddling. you had wanted to for so long, but you didn’t know how to ask. you could feel Tom’s slow breath blow out against you as he got closer to falling asleep.

“thank you, baby.”, he sleepily mumbled.

“of course. I’m sorry your day wasn’t great.”

“it’s definitely better now. I wish we would’ve done this earlier.”

“I thought you didn’t really want me to touch you, or for you to touch me, in this way, I guess…”

“I’m sorry, I wanted to but it was just unfamiliar to me and that kind of scared me, I didn’t want to do anything wrong and I’m not used to this kind of affection.”

“I’m sorry, Tom.”, you said, gently stroking his hair. he breathed deeply, showing you how relaxed he was becoming.

“it’s okay, I have you now.”

You continued to play with his hair as he cuddled you, and you could tell just how peaceful he was. He ended up falling asleep pretty fast. You were so happy that he was able to unwind and open up with you. You reached over to the candle and blew it out. You flipped the light switch off and let yourself fall asleep in Tom’s arms.

~

a/n ~ awww this is very sweet to me😭 I love doing these cutesy little stories, they are my favorite to write. I’m in my home country right now so I’m sorry if my posts are very inconsistent or posted at a weird time, thank you for the request!! all of the comments are so sweet too, and they make me feel a lot less insecure about my writing. have a good day !!!💋😽

#tom kaulitz angst #tom kaulitz fluff #tom kaulitz x y/n #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz fanfic #tom kaulitz x you #tom kaulitz #bill kaulitz fanfic #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz #tokio hotel x reader #tokio hotel fluff #tokio hotel #tokio hotel fanfic #georg listing #gustav schäfer

[jupitersdescendant]

hii lovely people! hope everyone is doing as well as possible. can’t believe it’s been over a year since my last reading… a lot of sh*t has happened in my life but i’m so glad to be back, finally! thanks to those of you who are still here :)

todays topic: blessings coming to you this spring

here’s how it works: close your eyes and meditate on the question for a little. if you feel ready, open your eyes and choose the pile you feel the most drawn to. it’s possible, that you’ll be attracted to more than one pile. please remember that this is a general reading so only take what resonates. this is for entertainment purposes only. lastly, tarot is only a guide, nothing is set in stone and at the end of the day you have the power over your own life.

Pile 1

cards: six of cups (rx), page of cups, strength. back of the deck: the magician.

hii pile 1!!

i’m seeing that there’s recently been a big change or rather an upheaval regarding your home life/living situation. some of you may have moved out and it didn’t go as well as planned. no matter the situation, it all happened rather suddenly. it seems like many of you feel like the ground was swept from under your feet and you were left feeling vulnerable. you could’ve been struggling with reoccurring headaches. there’s a big focus on independence and standing on your on feet this spring. i’m seeing that you’ll be blessed with affection. for some of you this means that someone from your past may reenter your life and this time around you will get the chance to appreciate them the right way, probably more in a platonic/friend way but it could differ for everyone. you two could come together after parting because of a fight. for others this affection is coming in through someone new entering your life and awakening your romantic side. it actually looks like some of you may even fall in love and for a couple of you this could mean for the very first time in your life since there’s a feeling of innocence here. this is random but fish could carry a special meaning for you during this time, wether you see a symbol or real ones or even here about them, they’re definitely a sign for you. this spring you will find that your inner strength will carry you through whatever is going on in your life. you may have to juggle a couple of things but that strength will help you build a comfortable foundation within yourself. there’s a lot of water energy in this pile and i’m seeing that you’ll be blessed with good intuition and that you’ll also trust your own judgment more. you will awaken more to your spiritual side since spirituality will play a big role to you this season. it’s also one of the reasons why you may feel stronger and more sure of yourself. even though you probably won’t enter this spring under the best of circumstances, you’ll find that you’re blessed with what it takes to persist any incoming obstacles. with an active and confident energy you can move towards the life that you want and find that it’s already waiting for you.

extra advice:

- embrace the changes even if you don’t feel ready or prepared yet

- see the good that is already in your life, there are blessings all around

- put your strength into something positive

- trust the divine timing of the universe

let me know if it resonates! have a great day/night 🖤

Pile 2

cards: page of swords, judgement, nine of swords (rx). back of the deck: the devil (rx)

hii pile 2!

so it looks like there’s a person of romantic interest in your life but it doesn’t seem you’re official and probably more like somehow waiting on them? it doesn’t feel like there’s really something going on between you two and even if there is, it seems that the situation is standing still and you’re waiting for them or for something to happen. i’m sorry to break it to you, dear, but i don’t think that this is really going anywhere and that you shouldn’t wait anymore and accept that it’s rather unlikely for the situation to improve if you relate to the scenario i’m describing. since it looks like this person isn’t even an active part of your life anymore (at least for most of you), i think you should release what’s in the past and not be still hung up on them. sorry if this sounds harsh, i only want whats best for you! i think this spring will help you realise that the situationship you may be in is only holding you back and that you should detach yourself from this. i now this really doesn’t sound like a blessing yet but through letting go you’ll be blessed with an awakening and will find your inner calling. you’ll also overcome a lot of anxiety and will learn to cope in a healthier way when dealing with your mental struggles. i think that you’ll really flourish this spring. i’m seeing you stepping into your “king”- energy and yes, everybody can embody the energy i’m talking about. in this case it means that you’ll be full of strength and warmth and that you’ll embrace more of the leader energy in yourself. you don’t necessarily need to lead people since that’s definitely not for everyone but it’s more like the vibe and mentality a leader carries. you may also inspire others with that change you made within yourself. the number three could be a sign from the universe to you showing you that you’re on the right path. you’re probably not the best when it comes to confrontation or standing up for yourself but this spring will help you leave this behaviour behind for your own good. i’m not gonna lie, this whole process will be kind of exhausting though it will bring you much more happiness once you’re through with it. in doing so you’ll be reclaiming your power and be blessed with a lot of internal freedom and independence. this season will also bless you with optimism.

extra advice:

- work to regain your confidence

- learn ways to strengthen your opinion of yourself

- show your inner light to the world and let your personality shine through

- if you have been dwelling on your past, try finding the light or blessings of each memory and release them with love

let me know if it resonates! have a great day/night 🖤

Pile 3

cards: eight of cups, three of wands, nine of pentacles. back of the deck: five of cups

hi pile 3!!

i’m seeing that you’ve recently had to leave something behind. what exactly that is will differ for everyone but all of you had to walk away from something. this was a very difficult decision for you but you had to do for your own wellbeing. your focus now will be on solitude and what you’ll find through it. this is a time of soul searching and looking for your own path. i think it was very hard for you to leave this “something” behind and that you resisted making this decision for a long time because you were really afraid what this change would bring you. i’m here to tell you that this will have a purely positive outcome for you since you can finally move forward. you can be proud of yourself. this change will bless you with happy outcomes. you may find joy in exploring new things and travelling this spring. a couple of you could even be blessed with luck regarding money. in order to reap your rewards you should try to let go of selfishness and jealousy, of course everyone experiences these emotions but i think that you could get hung up on these feelings and really harm yourself and maybe even others in doing so. if you manage to do this, there’s only prosperity waiting on the other side of you. blessings in form of more freedom, security and independence will flow toward you (reoccurring theme for every pile it seems lol). i’m hearing that you’ll rise like a phoenix from the ashes. the past few weeks or even months could’ve been a real emotional struggle for you and you felt very lonely. some of you experienced a great loss in your life that left you in sadness and despair. i think you will be happy to hear that love will find your life again, wether this is romantically or platonically will differ for everyone but just know that you’re not alone. this spring will bless you with feeling more in harmony within yourself and also with others.

extra advice:

- create the shift within yourself required to attract what you want

- be tender and patient with yourself and those around you

- trust you will attain all you are yearning for

- be ready for the many opportunities coming to you

- this is the time to go within for answers, to find inner strength and to tap into deep emotions

let me know if it resonates! have a great day/night 🖤

🔮 thanks a lot for reading 🔮

#pick a card reading #pick a card #pac reading #pick a pile #tarot reading #pac tarot #free tarot readings #tarotblr #tarot community #pick a picture #divination #witchcraft #spirituality #pick a pile reading

[jenosbigtoe]

Hey I love ur blog and ur writing. Could u pls make another alpha jeno 🙏🙏🙏 .....no pressure.

mdni. nsfw 18+

pairing: step brother!alpha!lee jeno x reader

warnings: exes to lovers, stepcest (don’t read if you’re uncomfortable), abo, masturbation (f), marking, scenting, mating press, creampie, unprotected sex,

a/n: i felt like a part 2 to the one i already made wouldn’t make any sense so i added a twist… i kinda went crazy um it wasn’t supposed to be this long

when you found out your mom was marrying your first love’s, lee jeno’s, dad, you cried for weeks.

“m-mom, why would you do this to me?” you sobbed, tears rolling down your puffy eyes. “you know what he meant to me.”

“well y/n i’m sure you know what it’s like for an unmated omega to live in this world,” she responded, rubbing your back affectionately. “i love his dad and he loves me. we are getting married. it’s not like you’re even together anymore so it shouldn’t even matter.”

you jerked away from the contact and stomped all the way back to your room to cry even harder in your pillow all night.

you and your mother moved into your new stepdad’s house the next month. it all felt so fast. one day you found out your mother was marrying the father of the love of your life and now you’re moving into his house. how were you supposed to face your now stepbrother who was also your ex? the last time you’ve seen him was at that stupid wedding and it seemed he was barely acknowledging your existence. what went wrong between you two? he was the first alpha you ever fell in love with. the only alpha you’ve ever loved. the only alpha you still love. you wanted to be mates with him forever, have pups and a life together. and now he was your stepbrother.

it was torture, living in that house with him. knowing that being in love with your now stepbrother was oh so wrong. god, his scent was everywhere. his scent that has always driven you mad, making you so needy and wanting his affection. you would catch glimpses of him around the house, causing your omega to go crazy inside. he would be in the kitchen drinking a glass of water as you walked in for a snack. he’d be working out in the home gym right when you’d go to use the treadmill. he’d be on the couch, watching a tv show as you passed by the living room to get to the bathroom. every single time you wanted to snuggle up against his body and bury your face in his chest. you wanted him to give you one of his grins reserved only for you and call you his omega again. but he was only ever cordial to you, just acknowledging your presence every time you walked by but never going past that. nothing more than a small smile and a wave when he saw you, making you so upset and frustrated. you wanted him so bad.

as fresh newlyweds, your mom and stepdad decided it was a perfect time to go on a three month long honeymoon in europe and leave you alone with your stepbrother at the house. you begged and pleaded for your mom to just wait a little longer to let you adjust to the new environment before leaving you alone in that house, but she was set on enjoying her time with her new husband. so you were left with lee jeno, your step brother, or in your eyes, your alpha. your mate. the one that got away.

for the first week, you pouted and locked yourself in your room, refusing to leave except to eat or use the bathroom. and you avoided jeno even more than usual. the entire time you’d been living at that house, you and he left each other alone, only communicating when necessary. but your sudden reclusiveness even had him worried, as he knocked on your door many times during your tantrum. but you refused to answer, knowing that if you saw him you would go crazy.

then you had the perfect idea. why don’t you get revenge on your stupid mother for being so selfish and doing this to you? marrying your first love’s dad, making you live under the same roof as your ex and his father that you’ve known for only 2 months, and leaving you alone with said ex for three whole months? and what better way to exact revenge than to get with her new husband’s son? really in your eyes it was a win-win. you would get revenge on your mom for putting you in this position and you would get back with jeno, whom you’re still so in love with. (really it was just a win-win for you but who cares.)

for the next month, you used everything you knew about jeno to slowly drive him crazy over you. you started by wearing the little outfits you knew he loved seeing on you. the first time he saw you wearing a thin tank that showed off your plush tits with his favorite lacy bra, you didn’t miss how his eyes almost bulged out of his head. but jeno was a gentleman and continued treating you like normal. you would wear the skimpiest loungewear—shorts that hugged your ass and barely covered your panties, camis that would squeeze your tits, sometimes even going without a bra to expose your nipples. while jeno seemed like he didn’t notice the sudden change in your attire, you knew him better than that. you noticed every wandering eye, every stare that was just a second too long, every avoided eye contact. sometimes you would see him adjust his pants ever so slightly so you wouldn’t notice his growing erection. but you always did anyways.

you started initiating real conversations with him, asking him about his day and what he’s up to. you got a lot closer and more comfortable with him, and he with you. it seemed you were starting to become almost friends again, despite the weird exes and step siblings thing.

then you moved on to getting physically closer to him. when he was in the kitchen, you’d brush up behind him, making careful sure to press your tits against his back in attempts to scoot past. or he would be watching a movie on the couch and you’d saunter up in your little outfits saying, “ooh, i love this movie. can i watch?” as you plopped yourself next to him. you would complain about being cold and beg to lay under the blankets with him. you would snuggle yourself flush to his body underneath the covers, rubbing your head against his scent gland and scenting yourself. or even at night, sometimes you would knock on his door with fat tears in your eyes saying, “jen, i can’t sleep again. it’s hard trying to adjust living in this new house.” and jeno is so sweet, he’d welcome you with open arms and let you cuddle him in his bed as you fall asleep with a smirk in your face.

“best step brother ever,” you’d sometimes tell him, not missing how his body would tense up at the title.

it seemed like your plan to seduce jeno back into your arms was working, but not at the speed you wanted. by now, you wanted him jumping your bones and fucking you like animals. he should’ve claimed you as his mate once again. but he was set on being a gentleman, always so respectful of your space despite all the signs you were giving him. you saw the lustfilled stares he’d give you when he thought you weren’t looking. you saw how he’d have to adjust his pants to hide his erection when you brush up against his cock or show off your tits and ass.

so you decided to take a risk, in hopes of speeding up the process. you were tired of being so needy for him, knowing he wanted you just as bad. you needed your alpha, who the fuck cares if he was legally your step brother now? he was your mate first.

you knew jeno’s schedule like the back of your hand at this point. so you knew it would be a good 30 minutes before he’d come home from going to the gym with his buddies. taking this fact into consideration, you carefully snuck into jeno’s room. you loved his room so much. everything about it was so him, every little trinket or poster or piece of decor was a piece of lee jeno. his scent drenched the entire room and hit your nose as soon as you walked in, leaving you a melting puddle of mush. you had loved his scent so much, and it was the strongest in his room. you felt your panties dampen with the smell of his sexy intoxicating scent.

you heart was alight with nerves. slowly, you stripped down to just your bra and panties, leaving your shorts and tank on the side of his bed. it was his favorite set, the white lacy bra and matching white lacy panties with a small pink bow resting above your ass. you laid on his bed, turning your head to inhale deeply into his pillow. you let out a soft sigh of satisfaction.

slowly, you reached your hand down into your panties. you were already wet just from smelling his scent. you let one hand grope your breasts as you started teasing your hole with your fingers, going around the rim before slightly pumping a finger in and taking it back out. you imagine your fingers to be his, teasing and playing with your leaking pussy so good.

but your fingers were too small, you needed more. you added another finger and another finger, trying to pump them in and out of your pussy to hit that sweet spot but you couldn’t. your fingers couldn’t hit deep enough, couldn’t fill up your pussy like you needed. you were growing frustrated, tears pricked your eyes.

you didn’t even notice him at the door, watching your every move with pupils blown and lustfilled eyes.

“now what do we have here, baby?” jeno growled out, taking slow steps towards your needy body.

you whined and bucked your hips against your hand, one hand squeezing your tit and the other fingers deep inside your cunt. “jen..” you whimpered.

jeno walked over to the bed and crawled on top of your body, taking your hands and pinning them above your head in one hand and gripping your chin tightly with the other hand.

“you tease me for weeks, knowing how crazy you drive me. knowing i can’t do jack shit because you’re supposed to be my ex-girlfriend, my step sister. and now i catch you in my own bed, shoving fingers into your cunt?” he whispered lowly into your ears. you shuddered. he sounded pissed. and you loved it.

you rubbed your legs together. “oops,” you feigned innocence. at this point, your pussy was sopping and dripping onto the sheets below.

he spat out a “that’s it” and ripped your underwear clean off. he used your ripped panties to bound your wrists above your head. “don’t fucking move, brat,” he warned, as he stripped off his own clothes. “you’re getting it this time.”

your heart was about to beat out of your chest. this is what you’ve been fantasizing about for weeks. when he pulled out his angry cock, you almost drooled. he was so so big, tip red and drooling, veins running up and down his curved shaft. and his balls were so big and heavy. you wondered how he ever managed tk fit inside your little pussy, but he was your mate. of course he was going to fit.

with one deep thrust, he bottomed out in your tight cunt. you screamed in delight, body squirming and thrashing beneath his powerful thrusts. he used his strength to pin your hips down and prevent you from moving away from his thrusts, thick muscles bulging from effort.

“oh fuck,” you moaned out.

he put your legs up on your shoulders and smacked your ass. “fuck this pussy is just as good as i remember.”

he went impossibly harder and faster with every thrust. lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin and heavy pants and moans filled the room. you struggled against the tie binding your wrists together but jeno growled and held you down tighter.

“fuck, you’re mine now, baby. never leaving you ever again. this pussy is mine. my girl. my omega. my mate,” he panted against your lips, pressing a deep kiss on your mouth.

your pussy gushed and clenched around his hard cock. “alpha,” you whined.

he used his weight to drive even deeper into you, tip kissing your cervix so sweetly. he nuzzled his head against your neck and starting scenting you. “my omega. mine…”

at this point, your mind was turning numb with pleasure. you were in a complete state of bliss. you’d never want anything more than being with your mate, your alpha like this.

“fuck, gonna cum, baby. gonna cum inside this delicious little pussy. everyone’s gonna know you’re mine when you’re round with my pups, when you have my mark on your neck,” he grunted.

you squirmed and bucked your hips up to meet his thrusts. “yes, please, alpha cum inside me! want your pups so bad. want to be your mate forever,” you whined, nuzzling your face into his wild hair.

he gave a few last deep thrusts before bottoming out completely as he came deep inside your dripping pussy. you gave him a sweet kiss as his cock twitched and throbbed deep inside.

he cradled your head and laid his forehead against yours. “y/n, i never stopped loving you. i’m sorry it took this long for me to tell you this but i want you to be mine. i don’t give a fuck about what anyone else will say, what our parents will say. i want you to be my mate forever,” he whispered, staring deep into your eyes.

it felt like he was laying his soul bare to you. tears pricked your eyes, this was all you had ever wanted. “oh, alpha,” you started. he wiped away the stray tears that fell from your eyes. “i missed you so much. i never stopped loving you. nothing will stop me from loving you. i want to be your mate forever.”

he leaned his head down to prod at the flesh of your neck, grazing your skin slightly with his teeth. you shivered and nodded your head, giving him permission to go further.

he left a deep mark on your neck, biting just hard enough to break skin and seal his bond on you. “baby, you’re mine now. no going back ever again.”

#nct dream smut #nct smut #nct dream x reader #nct x reader #nct dream #jeno smut #jeno #jeno x reader #lee jeno x reader #lee jeno

[wildestdreamsblog]

a one shot w jk and the one night stand scenario pls pls i beg 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ delulu levels r off the charts ever since ck

What he wants, he gets

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (idol au)

Warnings: Soft Yandere, Obsessiveness, Possessiveness, If you’re not 18+ please, PLEASE, do not interact. Be mindful of the warnings. Let me know if I miss anything.

3000 celebration

‘Fuck,’ you mouthed as you looked down at your bare body covered only by a white sheet, and then slowly and horrifyingly turned to look at the man beside you. Your eyes widened even further, your heart beat faster as recognition dawned on your face.

Fuck, indeed.

You let your head fell back down on the pillow in frustration. You couldn’t even have the luxury of experiencing any onslaught of confusion about what happened the night before because you knew full well. The soreness in between your thighs and the marks you could see scattered on your chest were enough to tell you what shouldn’t have happened.

You blamed the alcohol.

You even blamed the man beside you.

But worst of all, you blamed yourself.

You meant, in the first place, why did you allow yourself to go out and drink and completely lost it?!

And of all the people you could have slept with, why on earth did you sleep with the Jeon Jungkook?!

God, you knew you had to leave before he even woke up. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how he would react when he saw you beside him. He would probably think you tricked him somehow.

With bated breath, you lifted the heavy arm filled with artistic tattoos. You carefully watched his face, taking note of the way he whined when you left his arm. He was frowning adorably before you place a pillow in his arm.

You looked down at his handsome face. His dark, luscious hair was like a halo in perfect contrast to the white pillow. His slightly agape lips looked as kissable as they did last night. Jeon Jungkook looked like a dark prince that stepped out of a fairytale. He looked like a dream with his innocent face and his eyes filled with childlike wonder, yet his sinful body told a different story.

Sadly, you had to leave the dream and wake up.

You just wished he didn’t recognize you.

With a small, bitter smile on your lips, you kissed his cheek softly. And with that, you left. In your haste, you unknowingly left behind your bracelet with your name engraved on the inside,

Three weeks passed and yet, the memory of your time with him was still deeply etched in your mind. The way he kept looking at you in secret, a shy smile gracing his lips, the way the colorful lights from the club reflected on him, the way he finally built the courage to walk to you- they were all living rent free in your mind. The marks he so delightfully left in your skin may have already faded, but you could still feel him. The way he was so shy when he approached you was so opposite to how he was when he was on stage. The way he laughed at your jokes was like music in your ears… and the way he looked at you with interest and shyness both glinting in his eyes made you pull him by his clothes to kiss him. You squeezed your eyes shut, willing yourself to forget. You have to if you were going to work with the group.

“Until when are you going to sulk, Jungkookie?” Jin asked the youngest maknae, his voice both worried and with a hint of sermon. Ever since he woke up hours later without you and with no trace of you except the bracelet you left behind, he felt angry. That was almost a month ago and everyone in the group could feel the shift in his mood and it was affecting them.

Jungkook was someone who was often laidback, someone who didn’t want to feel negative emotions. However, everyone knew he hated when he was being ignored and what you were doing was the highest form of neglect he had ever felt in his life.

“Until I see her again,” he answered quietly, his eyes focused on the bracelet he was wearing. It was tight on his wrist, but he didn’t care. This bracelet was the only information he had on you.

“Jungkook, you know we always give you everything you want. But we can’t give you her. Not when we don’t know anything about her except her first name,” Namjoon explained gently, his patience endless when it came to the golden maknae. He could see how you were able to affect Jungkook. This was the first time they saw him be attracted to someone, really attracted to someone.

Because if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t lose sleep over you. He wouldn’t go home to his hyungs with tears in his eyes saying he lost you. He wouldn’t still look for you if you were meaningless.

“You’ll find her, Jungkook. We’ll help you, okay? But now, we need you to focus in this meeting.”

The meeting ran long. It was both draining yet productive to the boys. After deciding to call it a day, Jungkook walked out of the room. His eyes were focused on his phone when he felt someone ran into him. His hand immediately went out to steady her.

The girl bowed down her head in apology, her hair covering her face as she refused to meet Jungkook’s doe eyes. He tilted his head, about to ask her if she was okay. His large hand was still touching her forearm when he caught her.

And he felt something he couldn’t name.

Your heart beat faster. It was just your luck to run into him when you thought you successfully evaded him the whole meeting. But there was no way he recognized you, right?

“Have..have we met before?” He asked in confusion, his voice deep as he tried to peek at your face.

“N-no,” you answered while shaking your head, your hair still carefully placed in front of you. Your eyes were now on his hand that was still touching you. Your eyes widened when you recognized that bracelet.

It was yours.

Why was he wearing that?

In your surprise, you looked up at his dark and beautiful eyes. And before he could even process anything, you were apologizing yet again and walking as fast as you could to the elevator without looking suspicious.

Jungkook turned his broad back on you, his brows furrowed as he tried to remember your features and where he saw you. It was merely a second, only full second that he got to see your face before you hid behind your hair again.

You really looked familiar.

You felt familiar.

Could you be-

“Y/N! Enjoy your weekend!”

You had just entered when your coworker saw you. She waved at you, unknowing about the chaos she created.

The elevator was closing when you looked up and saw Jungkook snapped his head to you. His eyes looked betrayed as recognition finally dawned on him.

It was you.

It was your name. With purpose, he ran to the elevator only for him to miss it by half a second. You slumped back to the wall. There was no way that he didn’t recognize you now, his face told you everything.

Fuck. He was fucking mad.

He was fuming mad. He probably thought that you took advantage of him, never minding that he was bigger and stronger than you.

But still, he was younger than you by almost two years. You closed your eyes, praying this was all a bad dream. But the elevator finally dinged, signaling the basement floor. You opened your eyes just as the elevator door opened, only to reveal a huffing Jungkook.

He was breathing hard after running down the flights of stairs. There was no way in hell you would escape him now, not when he finally found you.

His dark clothes made him looked more imposing, more dangerous. His booted feet entered the elevator slowly, sauntering to where you were practically glued to the wall.

“Why are you running from me, noona?” He asked with his head tilted to the side. His voice was soft, but he was anything but.

Jungkook was both happy, yet angry. Happy that he finally found you. Angry that you had once again ran away from him, something that you weren’t allowed to do anymore.

Not when he finally found you.

“J-jungkook, that night was a mistake. I’m sorry,” you said with shaky voice, your hand stretched out in front of you to stop him from cornering you even further.

“Noona, how could you leave me alone?” He asked you with a pout, his hand caressing your face. Fucking finally. Finally, he could touch you again. “You promised me that you wouldn’t leave me.”

What?

“It wasn’t a mistake…it was meant to be,” he continued despite your grip on his thick wrist. You tried to stop him, but he was too determined and strong. His large body crowded you. He looked down at you with dark eyes, his eyebrow piercing glinting from the elevator’s light.

“But I forgive you. We’ll start again, noona.”

You were attracted to him, really you were. But the way he was right now, the way he sounded almost…terrifying, woke you up from the dream you were in. Jungkook was no prince charming.

“I need you to step back, Jungkook,” you said with a strong voice, pushing him away to no avail. “We need to talk about this?”

Jungkook chuckled darkly. “You want to talk? Fine, we’ll talk, noona.”

And before you knew it, he leaned down and your body was thrown over his wide shoulder.

Who would hear your cry for help in the basement? Who would stop him?

“Is that her?” Taehyung asked as he watched their maknae carried someone over his shoulder. He was finally smiling. No one knew this side of Jungkook. Behind his sweet smiles and personality, Jeon Jungkook was an obsessive man. No one knew, and unlucky you, you were about to experience first hand.

“It seems like,” Jimin answered before smiling.

No one could really control their maknae. What he wanted, he got.

Alternative ending

#jeon jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #yandere bts #3000 celebration #jungkook x you #yandere jungkook #jungkook x y/n #jeon jungkook x uou #jeon jungkook x reader

[yourpsicodelicbitch]

chiron observations ❤️‍🩹

TW: it’s chiron, you k what’s coming.

natal south node 9H opposition solar chiron 3H in retrograde: lesson i was meant to live, in this case about communication. later on that year, I communicated the situation -I needed help- but throughout that time I was struggling to process the information. south node 9H represents the knowledge i acquired and the lesson i had to experienced to let others know about that knowledge. retrograde shows difficulties on expressing themselves, scared of being judged, delays, etc.

solar moon conjunct natal chiron: wounds who were deeply hidden in the past, that you didn’t remember, are now in front of your eyes and you cannot stop but observe directly. injustices with your mom, resentfulness and emotions you could not hide anymore are now part of your daily routine. it’s like someone hits you with a rock and you can’t stop bleeding/crying.

syrinx (3360) aspecting chiron: it’s giving fear of rejection, literally, that’s your trauma. asteroid syrinx represents your attitude towards rejection and high expectations towards you. I have it in opposition, through my whole life I have been what others wanted me to be. I, even as a child, controlled my respiration to not disturbed others. a period of time I suffered bc I believed with all my soul I shouldn’t live bc of the high expectations, rejection, I wasn’t able to fit in the box, I tried to. it’s been a whole process, to acknowledge -of course- I don’t want and don’t have to be what others want me to be to be happy. I share this to show how you can use what you’ve struggled with and turn it into something you can master, take advantage of it for your own good: the power of chiron.

solar chiron trine natal venus: you’re experiencing what venus represents -relationships, every kind, etc.-, what you craved for a long time, but chiron it’s not gonna bring it up pretty. you’re learning through these experiences. depends on the aspect the intensity and type. in this case, it’s happening -what your natal venus craves- but you’ll learn to confront the situation -bc of the trine aspect that kinda shows the intensity chiron has-. and it’s not going to be as you wished at first… for example, my bestie went on her first date -she’s a hopeless romantic but won’t show it- but she didn’t like the guy and then she told him and that guy dated her friend, she was shocked and obviously affected but then she stood up. for a long time she struggled to make friends, in this period of time finally she got their gurls, but at the begging there were difficulties she turned out to handle really well.

chiron 6H in mars return chart could mean difficulties on your health, keeping up with a sport? routine, have a routine, you could find yourself stressed out about it. you’re starting to analyze more things.

the degree of your chiron in sr chart can tell about your attitude in front of that situation, house would indicate what type of situation you’re dealing with.

example

⤥ solar chiron 11H 17° (leo degree): after my birthday -after solar return starts- i had a “fight” with a “friend” of the group I was part of, and besides that, I was starting to not feeling it with the friend group. it was a journey of a domino effect were I opened my eyes and saw they weren’t sparkling anymore -for me-. so i decided to distance myself, to start a journey of “standing by myself”. I started to do shit by myself, focusing that energy -used on others- on me. it’s giving developed leo energy.

the aspects chiron has represents how you deal with trauma, in any type of chart.

example

⤥ trine natal lilith 7H 18° (virgo degree): continuing with the chiron mentioned before, I struggled with my friendship so I “rebelled” to the situation I wasn’t comfortable with and started to be more independent -some characteristics lilith (mean) represents-. nowadays and never I think, it has been seen as good to do what you want to do without masks. in this case, I left the group and opened my eyes about the girl I “fought”, since the beginning she had some envy attitudes towards me I couldn’t decipher. 7H also represents enemies. virgo degree it’s at it finest when I stopped and analyzed the whole situation, being picky.

i don’t want to misinform or alarm the ones who are reading this, pls don’t take this seriously, it’s an observation I made based on others experiences, this post is not a must do book.

having a lot of chiron aspects in sr it’s giving you’re gonna experience something really traumatic. I’ve seen the solar return charts of family who lost their son/brother, between the year they’ve lost him and the other year, there’s more than 4 aspects. I believe it’s bc of the trauma effect. HOWEVER, pls remember the warning I made earlier.

9H chiron opposition saturn: I have a friend who was born in another country but she stays in another but she has to come back to her natal country to maintain her nationality. she told me his older brother had to be the “dad” bc her parents go back and ford to that another country for work, this means she lacks of a stable father figure, someone who’ll be strict with her, someone who she can support herself, and authority. could be loners.

urania (30) aspecting chiron: urania represents astrology/astronomy/cosmology. in greek mythology, urania was one of the nine muses, the goddess of the topics mentioned before and of universal love and holy spirit. when’s aspecting chiron, that represents how we can grow from our suffer, how we transform that pain and traumatic event that impacted our lives. it appears this connection. astrology is used as a way of healing, of knowing themselves. introspection. feel seen and being even shocked by how accurate astrology can be and how it makes you feel understood. I LOVE YOU SO FCKING MUCH ASTROLOGY THANKYOU BC OF YOU IM ALIVE HDHKWBFND. I have that aspect 🧍‍♀️-this was on my drafts on a post called “astrology helped to heal”, should I post it?

(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ૮꒰ྀི⸝⸝> . <⸝⸝꒱ྀིა ∗ ࣪ ˖༺ ♡ ༻˖ ࣪ ∗ */ᐠ - ˕ -マ✩ (˶˃ᆺ˂˶)∗ ࣪

♡ Based on personal experience and I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

♡ English is not my first language.

♡ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

#astrology #astro observations #pinterest #astro posts #astro placements #astro notes #chiron #chiron observations #birth chart #solar return

[christinesficrecs]

Happy Saturday! Enjoy these brilliant fics. 🩷

I don’t know why, but I guess it has something to do with you by LunaCanisLupus_22 | 17.8K

“You smell like me,” the guy says, scowling as he crowds in and Stiles staggers back between the coats and finally hits the wall. “Why do you smell like me?”

He barely lets out a garbled sound as the blood rushes to his cheeks. “No reason,” Stiles yelps, struggling to get his footing and grasping at a whirlwind of puffy fur.

His Only Defense by LunaCanisLupus_22 | 78.7K

Stiles had just accidentally challenged an alpha.

Oh God, and Scott had just stood by and let him do it. He was the worst best friend ever. Stiles was going to kill him. Except, oh right, the alpha was going to kill him first. Like beyond dead, ripped into tiny little pieces dead. So far dead that his dad would not be able to identify him, dead.

Laying Groundwork by  LunaCanisLupus_22 | 10.9K

The one where Scott and Stiles go clubbing and there’s this broody Bouncer out to get Stiles-

Or get into his pants. Thank God it’s the latter.

Give you that thing you can’t even imagine by  LunaCanisLupus_22 | 10.9K

The one where mateless Derek thinks no omega can affect him like they do other alphas and he’s about to find out he’s very, very wrong.

Shot Through The Heart by  LunaCanisLupus_22 | 64.8K

The one when Stiles and Derek work for rival assassin companies and are sent to kill each other. It definitely doesn’t go as planned.

Foolish devouring things, build your castle in me by LunaCanisLupus_22 | 23.1K

“I will marry you,” he declares. “But should any more harm come to my father or my people, I will raze the earth itself until I feel the lifeblood drain from your corpse and paint my skin with it.”

It is not an idle warning, but from the princeling it has none of the desired effect. Derek feels no fear, but in this instance at least diplomacy triumphed over the spilling of more blood. It is all the same to him anyway. But Regent Peter was most insistent they avoid a drawn-out, gruelling war.

“Then we have reached an accord.”

Oh baby give me one more chance (to show you that I love you) by LunaCanisLupus_22 | 54.7K

“You like Derek,” he says slowly. “Derek Hale.”

His father grimaces at the accusation there. “Look, Stiles it’s complicated-“

“So when I was married to him,” he continues, voice rising. “He wasn’t good enough. He was taking advantage of me. ‘He’ll never be able to love you like you want, Stiles’. That’s what you said-“

Or the Sweet Home Alabama AU that nobody asked for.

I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long by LunaCanisLupus_22 | 11.4K

“All in favour of Derek not dating for a full year so he can get his shit together and stop romancing people who want to kill us?”

Everyone raises their hands. Every single pack member.

Or the one where the pack insists Derek can't date anybody for a year but he ends up finding romance much closer to home anyway.

I know that you love me, even when I lose my head by LunaCanisLupus_22 | 135.5K

“We’re not mates, Cora,” he insists. “I mean look at him-“

“Ouch,” the kid says, no longer pushing that shit eating grin.

“He’s- he’s,” Derek tries, at a loss of how to explain why this can’t be possible. Why it shouldn’t be possible.

When sparks fly by LunaCanisLupus_22 | 87.5K | Abandoned

“Derek,” Stiles thunders. “Were you ever going to tell me your house is trying to hook us up?”

Derek’s head snaps up, eyes wide and scenting the evident crackle of magic in the air.

I'll wrap up my bones, And leave them by LunaCanisLupus_22 | 65.1K

The sign on the cage actually reads Beware: The Beast! in that crappy horror movie red paint that trickles down the paper in a failed attempt to appear like dripping blood.

And it would seem stupid if not for the living supernatural creature currently trapped behind its bars. Little hard to dismiss the big, hulking werewolf as a poorly constructed horror movie prop.

Oh how the mighty have fallen. Dude, cannot catch a break.

How long have I been on the hunt for you? by LunaCanisLupus_22 | 20.3K

“Well I guess accidental kidnapping is not so bad then,” Scott decided brightly after the others had finished describing their ordeals. “All’s well that ends well, right?”

“HAHA,” Stiles practically shouted, loud and unsettling enough that everyone turned to look at him. “I mean, yep. For. Sure.”

#sterek fics #sterek #ficrecs #fanfic writers #sterek fandom #author spotlight #lunacanislupus22 #author appreciation

[tojisun]

Okay so…

dbf!simon isn’t getting a call…right?

because we know good and damn well he’s not going to put his pride aside and call, so, we’re going to play the waiting game, I’m assuming…?

I live for the angst, regardless of what the outcome is, mwah.

is it considered simon getting a call if he’s the one who rang you up and you answered…?

0v0

mini cont of dear john // biker!simon mlist

your phone rings once, twice, three times, before it drops. you stare at it lifelessly, balling your hands into fists to stop yourself from plucking it off your study table only to pause, your heart roaring, when it lights up again with a notification of simon’s call.

you debate whether you should answer it.

you know you shouldn’t. you know any self-respecting person wouldn’t. but-

you miss him.

as pathetic and as stupid as it sounds, you miss him. you miss the way he calls your name, all of his fleeting affections packed into the way he lets it roll off his tongue like it’s his favourite word; his favourite sound. you miss the way he holds you, the way his big hands slide underneath your skirt to find purchase on the back of your thighs and hoist you up into his arms. you miss the way he kisses you, all smouldering. all possessive.

all temporary.

you press your face on your palms, breathing in deeply, feeling the tears begin to pool.

another ring. another call.

simon is seeking you out-

your mind blanks as you move to accept it, only to hesitate in pressing your phone to your ear.

you hear a distant click, a faint static. then, “oh my sweet girl, how i’ve missed you.”

you slap a hand on your lips to stifle the sob that wrenches itself out of your throat.

simon pretends to not have heard.

you know those people whistling as they slowly make their way out (bc they know they did smthn that they shouldnt have)? thats so me rn <33

and thank u sm!!! i love writing angst sm. its been so long since i managed to land a hurt through my writing so this makes me so happy teehee ^v^

#suns.hc #dbf!simon #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #anon #ask #suns #I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL I SHOULD BE DOING MY PAPERS HELP

[disneyprincemuke]

sex * gr63

it was supposed to be just sex.

pairings: george russell x fem!reader

warnings: mentions of sex

notes: fun fact, this was supposed to be about max but hehe… fun fact number 2 is that this is the second draft and the first is messier than this, but i liked this better! based on sex by eden <3 and i aM TRYING TO CREDIT THIS GIF BUT I’M ON MY PHONE AND THEY WONT LET ME SO I’LL DO IT WHEN I FIND MY LAPTOP OK PLS IM BEGGING YOU

(sex) // (be mine)

you watch george’s eyes shut and feel his grip around your hips tighten, soft mews passing his lips while he comes down from his high. your hips come to a slow stop while his eyes slowly open, flashing you a smile.

you return the gesture before you slowly untangle yourself from his grip. you drop yourself on the empty spot on the bed. your hand pats around the area next to you, lifting your head up slightly to find the blanket kicked down to the floor amidst your passionate and selfish exchange.

george’s thumb swipes across your forehead, swiping away the sweat that’s formed.

there’s a feeling in your stomach for the past few weeks that has been eating you up. it’s indescribable, which is why you simply try not to think of it. but right now, with george next to you, it’s hard to ignore.

“what’s up, what are you thinking about?” george shifts to prop himself up on his elbow to look down at you. his smile grows as he moves the hair out of your face, brushing your hair in the process. “you’ve been staring at that ceiling for so long, i swear it’s come alive.”

you sigh. you blink then turn your head to the other side of the room, desperate to not get caught in his blue eyes. “george, i think you think too much of me.”

george feels his heart stop in his chest. in the short few months since alex has introduced you to him, you were never one to get in touch with your emotions. to say something with so much depth is worrying to him.

it’s more to contribute to the fact that your arrangement is strictly sex, with the side quest of pretending to be friendly when alex is around. other than that, there is no relationship to base all of this off.

when you’re not together, you don’t text. neither of you know what goes on in each other’s lives in the event of separation.

which is why he can’t figure out why your tone is scaring him so much. because he knows where you are going with this.

but george has to fight himself against what his chest is urging him to do. he swallows the forming lump in his throat and tilts his head at you. “what do you mean?”

there must have been something he has done that made it seem like there’s something more. he’s been so careful with the way he is in bed with you, and the amount of affection he gives you.

if you asked him, you’ve already taken his heart. and he’s almost a hundred percent sure that he doesn’t want anyone but you.

you clear your throat softly. you turn to finally meet his eyes. “you know, whatever this is, means nothing.” you speak slowly, ensuring that your words are clearly understood. “we’re just having sex.”

and there it is.

you can barely consider yourself friends. which is why your label isn’t even ‘friends with benefits’ — there is no label at all. you don’t even have each other’s numbers; all the initiations just stemming from instagram dms and your shared time at the club after alex taps out from the alcohol.

george feels his heart skip a beat, his stomach churning with uneasiness. he was just about to tell you that he’ll take you out on a proper date; actually make an effort to get to know you better.

in this moment, he is suddenly reminded of the situation. it’s just sex you’re having. there were no strings attached in the first place, and he isn’t supposed to have feelings for you.

the nights you spent tangled in his hotel room sheets should not have replayed in his mind as much as it did. he shouldn’t have noticed how you started letting yourself spend the night securely in his arms and thought to himself this might be going somewhere good.

on the other end of the spectrum, your chest ached. alex’s stern words echoes in your mind as you were slapped with the harsh reality of your inability to be in a healthy and loving relationship.

“fix yourself first, please. don’t break george’s heart,” alex had said to you when you came clean to him about your arrangement and the feelings that caused you to stir about at night before sleeping.

you can hardly consider it love. you barely know anything about george. of course, you would talk whenever you are tangled up in sheets with him, but you’d kept them minimal to protect you both from the very perdicament you’ve found yourself in.

you notice the way his expression changes ever so slightly. hurt flashes in his eyes as he withdraws his hand from you, your fingers flinching as you fight the impulse to chase for his touch. his eyebrows furrow as he inches back. “of course. it’s just sex.”

george almost tells you that he’s always been this heartless. in fact, he is convinced that this is his karma for break all those girls’ hearts back in the day.

he watches you take a deep breath and return your gaze to the ceiling of his hotel room. “this should be the last night. we should stop.”

he drops himself on the bed. he mimics your position, hands laying on his stomach as he traces the design of the light structure with his eyes.

he contemplates, the risk and rewards of just letting loose and telling you how he feels. can he really live with the fact that he just lets you go here without a fight?

instead, he turns to you with a playful smirk on his face. “you said this is the last night.”

you playfully roll your eyes, turning your head to meet him. “that is what i said.”

“not the last time, so come here.”

#got my mojo back hehe #i love this #george russell x reader #george russell x you #f1 x reader #f1 x you #disneyprincemuke #disneyprincemuke imagine #disneyprincemuke imagines #disneyprincemuke f1 #george russell fic