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mazm-imagines · 6 months

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Whispering Love, What a Sound.

What would have happened if Raoul hadn't missed Erik in the torture chamber? Would he finally become the monster he saw in the mirror while under duress? Would Christine still love him?

3734 words. This is a bit more disturbing than what I usually write, and I do not condone any of what is portrayed nor idealize it! This is more akin to a character study. Specifically MazMs ver of the characters. CW for toxic possessive behavior, talk of a corpse, blood, attempted murder-suicide and attempted suicide. So please do not read if those topics upset you! Happy Late Halloween :') Oops... all angst!

“You finally showed yourself…” A click resonated through the room of mirrors.

“Prepare to die-!” WIthout a moment’s hesitation, the gun had fired. Bullet made contact with flesh and bones, indicating the success of the shot. Skeletal body had toppled backwards into the room it came from.

Raoul’s face had completely flushed in rage; rosy tint reached all the way to his ears, blending skin and equally peachy hair into one. Drops of sweat rolled from his forehead and over the beauty mark under his right eye. Heavy panting eroded into soft breaths, until all he could hear was his beating heart. Wordlessly the gun had dropped from his hands, making a clunk noise onto the floor.

Dear God… Dear God-! What have I done- what have I done-! I’ve… I’ve killed a man!

He keeled over, slightly gagging as if he would throw up any second. Tears had unceremoniously welled in his waterline in shock, and he didn’t even have the faintest intent to bat at them.

“I- You’ve done it…” The Daroga’s emerald eyes were transfixed on the small window far above their reach.

From the other side of the glass wall, he could hear the shriek of a woman. Her inconsolable cries broke his heart into little shards.

I’ve done it! I killed the bastard that was hurting poor Christine! He thought… he truly thought he could get between us?! He paid with his life for his foolishness!

Those shards would reform into something far more twisted, glued together by the murky darkness in his soul.

He couldn’t wait anymore to see his beloved. He ran towards the window, pressing his hands towards the wall before shouting.

“Christine! I’ve done it! He was just a man… A man that could be killed just as you and I are able to be… You are free now- free to pursue your dreams! Free to pursue our love! In fact you have no need to flee Paris at all-”

The wails only grew in his paltry attempt to comfort. Instead, a deeper voice spoke in its place.

“Boy… first off. Thank you for wiping that Devil off the face of the Earth. I am indebted to this favor you’ve done us… But Christine is in no state to speak, much less move as of now.”

“Did that bastard mark her?! Curse him! Curse him a thousand times over!”

“Calm down! She’s-”

Another cry could be heard.

“She is physically alright, but clearly she is in a state of shock.”

“Oh my Christine! Please rest my dear- we will take care of this alright?” He cried out as he pressed his cheek closer to the mirror like a madman, desperately trying to get as close to her as possible. Just as she was letting out incoherent sobs, he would smear his warm tears against the cold glass.

“Right… well. Miss, do you have the key up there? Erik mentioned a key for this room, no?” Daroga seemed to be the only other voice of reason in the room, attempting to take initiative alongside Melek.

“Yes. Currently that monster is on the floor. Heaven knows why Christine is attending to him.”

If Raoul concentrated hard enough, he could hear small apologies flowing in through the window- apologies directed at Erik…

Soon those apologies faded, and a loud thud was heard through the room.

“What was that?”

“Christine! Oh dear- she’s collapsed.”

“Christine- Christine please dear God- please be alright-” Raoul pounded his fists on the wall until they ached, and even so, he continued like a lunatic. The Daroga came behind to hold his wrists in place, albeit with a struggle. Raoul was in the spring of his life, far more youthful and stronger than the elder man, but an attempt was made nonetheless to prevent himself from injury.

“Viscount- stop this lunacy-! Please… Stay well for Miss Daae. How will you embrace her with broken hands?” Raoul smacked his hands away, facing his eyes with his own cold blue ones. Fury knit his expression into a tight scowl as he growled his answer.

“You-! Don’t tell me what to do. I killed Erik! I killed that monster! Not you! You couldn’t save your friend from Hell. I sent him there once and for all! Truly magnificent isn’t it? Thank you for the privilege of sending your son to rot down there. I think I’ll finally be able to sleep well for the first time in months!” Scowl had eventually turned into a deranged smile, which in turn devolved into mad laughter.

“...” He didn’t even know what to say anymore to the younger man. All that barking was an attempt to provoke him, but he no longer had the energy to fight back. Raoul had roughly taken him by the collar, pulling him down to meet his face on an equal level.

“You soiled my hands… because you are a coward. Never talk to us again after this. You are the reason we got in this mess, the reason Christine went through so much. Because of your spinelessness.” He spat out, venom practically palpable from the hateful words. The once wide-eyed lover the Daroga had asked for aid was now a passion-ridden beast. He was not afraid of the other man, but perhaps for him…

Raoul let go, the force slightly sending Daroga back toppling. Broken ankle didn’t help matters much either.

“Men! Stop fighting! You especially boy, I can hear you all the way up here.” Puffy brown hair reminiscent of clouds peeked through, followed by a face.

So that was Melek.

“... Yes Madame...”

“Thank you. As of now while Christine recovers. Let us think of a course of action. I am blind, so I cannot coordinate well. When Christine wakes I will request her help. But for now our best option may be to pull you two out. If the true key is in the bag, we will use that instead. If not, we try a rope instead. Alright?”

“Perhaps that is what we must do, yes… I still think there may be a contraption inside here. After all, Erik would have needed to go between rooms. I will look for a little hole or hidden door. Perhaps you and the Viscount can work together for now?”

“That sounds serviceable. Alright boy, what do you suggest?”

“I have a few more bullets… I can shoot around the window to break the contraption?”

“You men are always too violent… Of course not. If you fire and hit any of us, what do you think will happen?”

“Fine-! Fine! Since you two will be that way, I shan’t offer an idea! Call me when you need me…” He huffed like a petulant child before crouching in the corner, this was all too much for him to handle. Eyelids slowly pulled towards each other until they completely met. He could hear the shuffling of footsteps, both from the Daroga and Melek in their respective areas. Now that Erik was gone, he could indulge in a few minutes of hard-earned rest.

—

Calloused hands shook his shoulders, forcing rosy eyelashes to pry open, revealing the sapphires beneath.

“...What do you want?”

“Christine Daae is awake.” Upon hearing those words, the half lidded eyes widened in delight. Raoul immediately jumped off the floor to claw under the window again.

“Christine! Christine! Please! Say something- anything!”

“R-Raoul…” The voice cracked ever so slightly. Surely she must still be disoriented.

“Are you alright?! Oh what had that wretch put you through?! When I come over there I’ll make it all better for you!”

“...Of course. I- I am fine Raoul…”

“Christine, may I please see your face?”

“Wait a minute- I have a tablecloth… Melek and I will secure it, you and the Persian must hold onto it alright? You will see me when you come here…”

“How I desire to see you now… But I understand. Very well.”

Long white tablecloth gushed from the window, akin to the fairytale of Rapunzel. Raoul raised his palms out for Daroga to step on. He was in a far too pleasant mood to even glare at him, merely humming content and vacantly smiling. It was almost disturbing to the Daroga, the sickeningly sweet mood the man was in after all that. After the other man had gone up, Raoul followed soon after. If it weren’t for the fact that Christine and Melek weren’t holding onto the other side, he would have scrambled right up. But he wouldn’t have wanted to make their jobs any harder than it was. Christine was so very fragile, as if he could crack her bones in his grasp every time they embraced. And from what he had seen, Melek was quite similar in stature, if not more brittle from age.

His eyes immediately latched onto Christine as soon as he slid through the window frame. The collar of her dress and the hem of her skirt were both stained in crimson, and- pink?

Raoul looked beside the window, the festering corpse of Erik was merely kicked aside like trash.

As he should be. Raoul thought to himself. There was a hole in his head from where he had been shot. Ah. That explains it.

As if he would die without her, Raoul immediately ran over to Christine, burying his head in her neck where the blood was. It was slowly coagulating, sticky mess coating his cheek. His hand went to the back of her head, entangling in her golden locks while the other was rubbing circles in her back.

“R-Raoul!” She trembled in his grasp, a weak hand merely pawed at his sleeve, not even attempting to reciprocate the embrace.

“I did it… I did it for you… You are free to do as you wish now! Is that not wonderful? Is that not what you wanted? I promised to make you the happiest woman alive… Aren’t I doing that? I can do anything you ask my dear… I am no longer that boy who cries…” Without even giving Christine a moment to recompose, Raoul pulled his head back to look her in the eyes.

“Boy… will you give her a second?” Melek was attempting to wrap up the Daroga’s ankle on the sofa. The conversation unsettled her enough to want to intervene. Without even turning his head, Raoul gave a snappish response back.

“Madame… This is a matter between lovers. Please attend to our dear Daroga.” Was this really the man Christine loved? She couldn’t even see the fearful expression on the other woman’s face.

“...If you do anything to her… I swear-” She growled in contempt.

“I? If I do anything? To her? Excuse me?”

“Raoul-! Raoul! Let us go to the other room okay? Please… Melek is my friend…”

“Hm. Only because you insist~ Let us go my dear.” The soft grip he had on the back of her head loosened. Instead his hand ventured towards her left one, interlocking the fingers together. Christine awkwardly worked the mechanic behind the portrait with one hand, not having the heart to tell him to let go. Soundlessly, they had disappeared to the other side.

—

“Oh my dear Christine. I apologize, I have made a real mess haven’t I?” Not a pang of apology was apparent in his expression. His bashful smile was akin to a puppy. Making it all the more jarring to see the blood smeared on his cheek. Perhaps he was a terrifying guard dog instead, rather than an adorable puppy. He pulled out a handkerchief from the inside of his coat. Tenderly, he wiped away at Christine's slender neck. She bent her head reluctantly to give a better angle to him; but contact with the fabric against her skin made her shudder ever so slightly. It wouldn't go without notice.

"Are you alright Christine?"

"... Your face is dirty as well. Let me fix it." Christine took the handkerchief from his hand and leaned over to his cheek, slowly cleaning the blood off. The expression he held was one of raw affection: his eyes were little oceans of passion that may just drown her, and soft pink lips were curled into a smile. Christine's own eyes didn't want to look at him any longer, instead fixating on the smudge.

A hand snaked under her chin, forcing her to look at him directly.

"May I?"

"..."

"Have a kiss? Were you not worried we could never embrace like this again?"

"You are correct… I permit it." In contrast to the monotonous words, the chaste kiss Raoul placed on her lips was vibrant, a manifesto of their love. For a moment, Raoul could feel her smiling around it, it seemed she was finally coming to her senses.

For a moment, that sweet kiss truly felt like the Raoul she adored.

"Dear Christine… I must ask-" Raoul dropped to one knee, signifying the question that would soon follow. Christine gulped down on the tension lodged in her throat. He must have gotten the wrong idea…

"Would you make me the happiest man to roam the Earth, and marry me? I am not in possession of a ring right now, but as soon as we leave, I will get you the finest diamond ring on the market. And I promise that I will make you the happiest woman to roam the Earth." He beamed with his entire soul. A gentle kiss was placed on Christine's right hand in his own left, but all Christine could do was stare blankly. Raoul rose to be beside her once more.

"Christine. I ask again. Are you alright? I would have thought this would make you happy, but you seem even gloomier than before…"

"Tell me Raoul… It was an accident right?"

"Come again-?"

"You didn't kill him on purpose right? Right Raoul… I know you would never…" She nervously smiled at him. Christine silently pleaded that the Raoul that stood with her was the Raoul she knew and loved, not a bloodthirsty monster that took his image.

"What- what do you mean? Of course I did? For you… for you! You were crying so much- I couldn't stand knowing that monster of a man did this to you." Raoul inched closer, gently grasping her by her forearms. She let out a gasp, as if she remembered something.

"No- no no no I didn't want this! I didn't want this! I know you didn't want this either Raoul!" Despite the upturned eyebrows and happy smile painted on his face, the remorse in his eyes threatened to crack through.

"W-what- what do you mean you didn't want this? Why- why?! That man is- was a menace! He's killed people Christine!" His voice cracked in confusion and his smile faltered, showing the true disarray underneath.

"You- you killed someone as well Raoul! I could forgive you if it was an accident! If you held any remorse! But- how are you any different than him? He hurt people for me as well…I truly believed-! That you were better…" Christine broke down into a sob, collapsing onto the floor once it was all she could do.

"Christine…" Raoul descended down to her level as well; she hid her face in her hands in an attempt to avoid his gaze.

"I apologize… Please, look at me… I can't bear this. I can't bear to see you cry-" Despite his assurance from prior to never cry again, beads of tears formed down his waterline. Christine pried her face away from her hands to look at him. The Raoul she was talking to could have been the one she loved after all…

"Christine I- I truly did it for you… I'm nothing, utterly nothing without you. My wealth, my status, my humanity… I gave it all away for you…" His arms reached out to embrace Christine, one hand entangling in her scalp while the other rested on her back.

And how that embrace suffocated her.

"Raoul… Let go please." Silently he obliged, meeting her eyes with his own once again.

"That's not true Raoul is it? I know… you were dying to kill him. So please, don't hide your revenge under my name! I'm tired- I'm tired of hearing my name!"

"I am your dear Raoul… and you, my dear Christine… is that not the agreement we had? So why is it that you cry for Erik? What has that monster done for you that I couldn't? Do you by chance love him?"

"I cry for you! I mourn for the man I am losing! I love you… I love only you… But not like this- not like this… It feels almost as if I've traded a monster for another monster… Please! Please don't imprison me in your love just as Erik had-"

"Imprisonment? Is that what my love is to you?" In an instant, Raoul's bearing darkened, various emotions danced across his mind before he opened his mouth again.

"I did everything for you. Everything! So tell me, what should I do now… what can I do now, now that I have pointlessly killed a man! Oh I might just retch! There is no going back for me! There is no meaning! No hope! No reprieve!" From her periphery, Christine could see the polished handle of Raoul's handgun.

"No point!" Without hesitation he placed the barrel in his mouth.

"Raoul- Raoul please! If you love me in any regard- put it down!" Christine reached out to his hands with her own smaller pair. One wrong move and she may see blood splatter all over again. She was overwhelmed with tears and her throat closed around her words, nonetheless she was determined to calm Raoul down. His mouth choked a sob around the barrel, he didn’t want to either it seemed.

Raoul lowered the gun, letting it drop on his thigh as his hands buried his face instead.

"Raoul… I love you… You know I do- but this isn't good! Your life is just as valuable as mine… as Erik's. I don't make you! And you don't make me… we are people, not leeches…"

"That is why… I cannot bear this blood on my hands. I cannot hold any pride for killing my rival. I cannot call you mine, and I cannot be yours. I am no longer the 'Chagny's' black sheep either. Nor am I an officer of our navy. Nor am I your lover… Nor am I a human. I have nothing to be proud of…" Raoul sniffled loudly, rubbing his nose against his sleeve.

"That is not true… You are still merely a man… A man that makes mistakes…” Christine pulled Raoul’s hands into her own. She had swiped a thumb softly over his knuckles, before looking him in the eyes. This time her deep blue shone with all the love she held for him.

“You regret it, don’t you?”

“...I do not know, but perhaps… y-yes.” Raoul let out with a hiccup, his face had become entirely pink from sobbing.

“Is your pride really that important?"

"For a man, it is everything."

"How about Raoul? What is important to Raoul?"

"You are! Only you..."

"Not your brother or sisters?"

"They do not care for me- as you… as you do."

"I- I see…" Christine bit her lip and attempted to continue.

"I love you. And I do not think I'll ever love a man as much as I love you. But I am afraid I cannot continue this relationship, for our sake… I apologize, from the bottom of my heart, it hurts me as it hurts you. This is not good for you- for me…” Raoul felt something inside crack, shoulders trembling before he even realized. He would finally lose the meaning of his pathetic life.

What she didn’t disclose was that perhaps they could give it another try; once Raoul found himself in a better place, once he would no longer want her approval to live.

“I promise, you will find salvation. You are a good man Raoul… I know you are…" Christine reached out her arms to comfort him, an offer of friendship instead; but even so, rationale was overtaken by emotion as Raoul lunged to hold Christine in his embrace.

Perhaps if he held long enough, the two of them could merge into one, never to be separated again.

He could already feel their hearts beat into one.

"Raoul! Raoul- it hurts- I can't breathe- Please let go-" In response to Christine's plea, Raoul mumbled under his breath, squeezing tighter around her slender frame.

I will see you soon, my Christine.

From under his arms, he could feel another pair attempt to pull him away.

"Viscount what the hell are you doing to her?!"

"Let me- go-!" In the choice between holding on to Christine and hitting the Daroga, he held steadfast onto his beloved. Only with the grazing of teeth against his neck did his hands instinctively reach for the puncture wounds. Blood trickled out and stained his cream dress shirt. The opening allowed for the Daroga to drag him away.

"C-Christine?!" Raoul looked upon her wide-eyed in betrayal. She only hid her blood-stained mouth in shame.

"I'm- I'm sorry Raoul! You scared me… it hurt… I felt that I would break… That was the only thing I could think of-" A stream of apologies erupted from her throat as she gasped for air, never stopping until her eyelids closed shut, followed by the rest of her body hitting the floor.

"Christine! Oh my- oh my God… what have I done… I’m sorry… I’m sorry-! Mr. Daroga help her! Help her! You may lock me up but for the love of God help her!"

"Stop thrashing! Calm down! I will get Miss Levni from the other room but you must follow me…"

"Yes sir…" His body had gone limp, and once the Daroga had tied his wrists up with the lasso, he was obligated to follow him into the Louis-Phillippe room. He took one last look behind at Christine's unconscious body. Perhaps this is the last he would ever see her. He didn't even deserve to look at her. Raoul snapped his face back to look at his feet instead. That's all he was, scum at the bottom of her shoe. Melek was right, he did end up hurting her, because that's all he could ever do.

I’m sorry Christine… I’m sorry… For everything-

#mazm #mazm phantom of the opera #raoul de chagny #christine daae #Melek Levni #Daroga #Hatim #Erik #mod gwaaaaar #gwaaaaar writing

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