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#hates theater my ass Mr. Traveler
salty-dracon · 7 months
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genshin impact 4.0, or as i like to call it, fantasy tears of themis ft. lifeweaver overwatch/kale vandelay hfr/mael stronghart tgaac/idk but people are drawing him with that specific kind of face and i love it
liveblog begins now
Get Out Of India And Get Your Ass To France!
People can find my previous liveblog and livetweets for what I think of the Sumeru section. I thought it was great, I loved the heist scene, but *grumbles in desi* you know how one of the most popular (and thirsted after) characters in the west right now is a DARK SKINNED INDIAN SPIDERMAN-
Paimon lore...she got tired, fell in a whirlpool, and got sucked out to sea...
sus.
... Niagara Falls...... somehow geographically across from a desert.... which also ends in a big cliff...
welcome to fontaine. literally just french for "fountain". Looks like any steampunk city but with more blue and stars. God I miss Arcane: A League of Legends story.
Neuvilette. That's the Mael Stronghart looking guy's name.
Lyney and Lynette. They're uh. little guys
we're just normal men.
CAITLYN KIRAMANN ARCANE?!
... Is this Fischl's VA? Has the same smug aura. Also, why are her eyes two different colors? Is she tainted by the Abyss or a Schneznayan puppet or something?
I'm not writing all that down Furina but I don't fuck with celebrities. I only fuck with gods.
She's so grand I hate it.
Tears of Themis 🤝 Genshin Impact Fontaine
I'm too poor and ugly for this shit
FIGHTING GODS?! BITCH I'VE GOT A RESUME
..... what the fuck is happening in this place. first god wants to beat me up, then god wants to battle me in court ace attorney - er, tears of themis style, while the rabble are saying that god-slayer traveler's DUEL would be boring while a COURT battle would be more exciting..... and now there are weird laws
that's not called being absolved of sin that's called climate change
why would you build boats that function like subway trains on giant aqueducts when you could just... make bridges with... okay I guess depending on how you do it, having aqueducts instead of roads could be pretty fast in a world without cars
How many little siblings does this guy HAVE
How many dragons is that now? There was Dvalin, Durin, Ahzdaha, the one Raiden killed, and now the Hydro one. Was there a Dendro one?
You'd think that a HYDRO city would have some kind of STEAM POWER
I love cute engineer girls! Damn, she's just an NPC.
... wh. YOU'RE A GOD OF WATER IN A STEAMPUNK CITY JUST USE HYDRO POWER TURBINES
nothing like getting the Italian mafia to beat up the French mafia
sorry to this guy who has now voiced characters in two games where his fantastic voice work is badly complimented by piss poor lip sync (swank from rain code)
Oh shit are we going to ace attorney childe? that would be really funny. he'd be such an ace attorney witness too
traveler: childe, why are you in fontaine?
childe: depression arc
So these little humanoid dog creatures are "Melusine".
Friends with benefits (the benefits are knowing all their siblings and also theater tickets)
There he is. Mr. Justice man.
Neuvilette: I think she wants you to look at her.
Paimon: Yeah, sure...
Furina: Hehehe~
Traveler: *holds up middle finger at Furina*
Oh he's literally Mael Stronghart
Lyney's VA is pulling out all the stops for this stage magician cutscene
A "bang" right in the middle of a magic show?? For sure we're going to be Ace Attorneying this chapter.
OH YEAH. OH YEAH THATS A CLEAR CASE OF SOMEONE USING STAGE MAGIC TO MURDER LIKE IN DRV3 OR AA6
Paimon puts on Groucho Goggles while quoting Sherlock Holmes. Fun...
Waiting for Rosa Tears of Themis to get isekaid to this universe with a random boy. Because I like Rosa and she's cute. And never alone.
So Lyney's rope was replaced with a flammable one. That explains the murder method, But how did Lyney switch places with Carrow, and where did Halsey disappear to?
Navia, a mob boss. Or a detective. Not sure which.
There's honestly no way they didn't take at least a LITTLE inspiration from Arcane because that's the only steampunk setting I can think of where little furry guys are common. Pookas are in Odin Sphere, but that story isn't exactly steampunk... Well, it is. And supposedly Neuvilette is the only male one.
That's how the trick itself was performed. The audience member basically got put on a giant rotating, moving elevator. So in the middle of it, someone must have hijacked the trick. They forced Halsey out and Cowell in, then escaped with Halsey.
... Lyney didn't hear the thud? How? Why?!
THEY'RE FATUI?!
It literally is the most Ace Attorney sort of thing to ask the judge for a brief recess and then talk with your client who immediately admits to being a Russian spy whose excuse for not being present during a murder scene was that he was doing spy things
yeah I was thinking, it had to be someone from the crew. how else do you tamper with the random number generator and the rope? but the real question is how did he become a victim of his own scene after the fact?
what
this is entirely out of left field. they should have gotten one of the tears of themis writers on this one.
girl your drink was spiked
yeah that was what I was thinking too. the disappeared people are being dissolved and ending up in the fountain somehow
oceanid!
aether: bye pretty oceanid! I'll find your lover for you- OH GOD THERE'S ROBOTS
... Did they honestly watch Arcane and get nothing from it? Looks like they tried to recreate Zaun and missed the fact that Zaun isn't run by women in big hats
girl...
I'm just bored throughout this entire investigation segment and then I learn that the Italian Mafia got arrested for water crimes
We're unwatering the water crimes
I was also wondering if vacher was the one who murdered the oceanid. yeah it was. and looks like we hunted down the mastermind of one piece of the murder plot
sometimes I fear that the gimmick for AA7's prosecutor will be a robot and this is why. at least we get to see the guy go ham again
Oh yeah that guy's girlfriend is in the place where all water flows to, Doyha District the fountain.
... Imagine you're a baliff, and you're at court, and the defendant wants to see his wife who has dissolved into a fountain, and the chief justice helps him, and so the chief justice takes him to the fountain, and then five minutes later the chief justice comes back and says he stuck his face in the fountain and drowned
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hawkeye221b · 3 years
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Y'know... for a man who says he hates theater, Artagan sure is one hell of an actor with quite the cast of characters;
a Satyr, a receptionist that one time, an actual fucking deity, a pretend diety and a traumatized weasel.
I'm just saying he's a hell of a method actor
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burntblanket · 2 years
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the umbrella academy season 1: live reactions
ok i'm starting this show for five
i'm real curious abt ben
what's... what's up with allison & luther
OMG five is 13?!?!?!?
JSJDHDHDH technically he's 50 and somehow it's easier for me to crush on that than to accept that he's physically a 13y boy LMAO
OMG KLAUS IS SIMON FROM THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS
i'm looking forward to the five-vanya meme lol
timeskip, i'm in the middle of ep5 now and this whole family is so deranged and dysfunctional... i'm so sorry to everyone in it
omfg i knew leonard was a yandere psycho ass mf
i needa know what happened to ben
poor dave. poor klaus.
also i'm puking my guts out at luther and allison... my dudes you're siblings
i. i hate it.
i hate the day that wasn't
they were gettin closure n shit :(
five just kinda undid all of their character development...
OMFG HAROLD JENKINS
hazel and agnes... please they need to be happy
fuck if cha cha fucking kills him...
(around ep7) y'know what i bet it's vanya who ends the world
protect harold jenkins bc he's the one who enables her powers
their father knew abt it or sumn and that's why he's suppressing her
also he tries to stop five from time travelling lest he discovers the apocalypse/vanya's powers
anyway
did klaus just fucking die <3
ok he just undied <3 but wtf mr hargreeves
well that's one mystery solved ig. wtf tho
omfg vanya just broke her mf neck
hazel best boi himbo <3 how very kind we love this assassin
did allison just fucking die
i hate this show
who's next who are they killing off next huh >:(
omfg. ok vanya u murderer. literally all of humanity. oooooh i'm so angsty and depressed i'm gonna kill 7 billion people (plus a lot of flora & fauna) because of my childhood
her coping mechanism is... genocide???
after-show thoughts!!
is ben alive again? love him, would love to see him soon
so proud seeing him all octopussy in that theater!! lov u babey!!
i'm so happy for hazel and agnes <3
fuck this whole family bro
i understood luther and felt sorry for him at first but i don't think he's been a good leader at all, like... ever lmao... i think he's just number 1 bc he's loyal
five is cute <3 also diego is hot but i'm sure he stinks ass, he never washes that outfit of his
allison's i heard a rumor that you loved me... oh my god.... aaagghhhh... :'(
BEN SHOW ME BEN
klaus and dave D':
klaus and dave............
this whole family sucks not a single happy moment. dysfunctional asf
i'm gonna watch s2 asap i needa know what happens!! also omg r they all kids now
also also fuck vanya again, not to invalidate her but dude leave the rest of humanity out of ur family drama. literally causing dinosaurs 2.0 goddamn
btw what time period is this... like they don't have phones or sumn i think? love the aesthetic
what's diego's power again? is it literally just knives
bonus: hotness tier (also kindness is hot)
five, diego, mommy grace <3
allison, patch, handler (she sucks but she's so attractive so no she doesn't)
klaus, hazel
agnes <3, luther
vanya, pogo (??!!)
cha cha
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q-gorgeous · 3 years
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Falling Out
fanfiction
ao3
Sam and Paulina are assigned as partners for a school project.
word count: 2581
for @phandom-phriend
heyo bro
“I don’t get what the big deal is.”
Sam stared at Paulina, who was standing in the middle of the hallway twirling her hair between her fingers. 
“You don’t get what the big deal is? Your boyfriend literally just beat someone up!”
Paulina scoffs. “He’s not my boyfriend! And that kid was a loser anyway. His family is just a bunch of freaks.”
Sam looked at Danny who was still laying on the floor, his breath wheezing from when it was knocked out of him. “He’s not a loser.” Sam mumbled.
“Excuse me?” Paulina looked over her nails.
“He’s not a loser!” Sam stomped up to Paulina, her face inches from the other girl’s. “He’s really nice and actually likes hearing about things I want to talk about! Unlike you.”
Tossing her hair over her shoulder, Paulina turned her nose up into the air. “That’s because all you like is that spooky ooky goth stuff. No one wants to listen to you talk about ghosts and spiders and witches.”
“He does.”
“That’s because he’s a loser.” Paulina poked a finger into Sam’s chest. “Why don’t you just drop him and this freaky goth phase and come hang out with your real friends.”
“You are not my friend.”
Paulina froze. “What?”
“I don’t know what bug crawled it’s way up your ass Paulina, but if this is how you’re going to treat people now I don’t want to be your friend anymore.”
She watched as Sam walked away from her and helped Danny off the ground. Sam whispered a few things to him and he nodded. They began to limp their way to the nurses office. 
Paulina clenched her fists together and her throat tightened. That’s fine. She didn’t need Sam. She had plenty of other friends. What did one falling out matter? She turned around and stomped her way in the opposite direction towards the cafeteria.
She didn’t need Sam Manson. 
QQQQQ
“But Mr. Lancer!” Paulina whined, her hands resting on the top of her desk as she stood up in protest. 
“I’m sorry Ms. Sanchez, but you and Ms. Manson will be partners for this project.”
Sam raised her hand. “I’d rather do my project on my own than work with her.”
Lancer pinched the bridge of his nose. “You two are partners for this project, end of discussion.”
“But-” Both girls chorused. 
“That’s enough! Ms. Sanchez, take your seat.”
Paulina huffed and crossed her arms as she sat down. Why did Lancer have to assign her and Sam to work together? Hasn’t he figured out that they hate each other yet?
Her gaze flicked over to where Sam was sitting. She was angrily scratching something into her notebook. She paused and her eyes met Paulina’s. They stared at each other for a moment before Paulina sneered in her direction and looked away. 
Paulina sat angrily stewing in her seat until the bell rang. She grabbed her backpack and slung it over her shoulder, heading out of the classroom at a brisk pace. She was putting the combination into her locker and had just gotten it open when Sam walked up and pushed it closed. 
“What do you want, Manson?” Paulina snapped. 
Sam rolled her eyes. “We’re supposed to work on that project together, remember? When are we going to meet for it?”
“I don’t know. Why don’t you just do it on your own and write my name on it.” Paulina twisted the dial on her locker again. 
“Nu uh. If we’re forced to be partners you’re gonna help with it.”
Paulina groaned and opened her locker again. “I guess we can start working on it today after school.”
“Great. I’ll meet you at your house when school is over then.”
“What?” Paulina squawked and turned towards Sam. “Why my house?”
“I don’t want my parents thinking we’re friends again.”
Paulina just stared at her but frowned when Sam pushed the locker closed again and started walking away. She clenched her fists. As if they would ever be friends again. 
The rest of the day passed by both too quick and slow at the same time. She dreaded having Sam come over and having to talk to her so much that even though the day dragged on and on, when she was at home and a knock sounded on the door it felt like she had just been standing at her locker. 
Paulina opened the front door, a bored look on her face when her eyes met Sam’s. They stood there for a moment before Paulina waved her in. Sam stepped in, looking around and Paulina closed the door behind her. 
“So what is this project we’re supposed to be doing anyways?” Paulina led the way to the kitchen where her backpack sat on the table.
Sam sighed. “You weren’t even paying attention when he went over it?”
“I was too busy being angry at Lancer.”
Rolling her eyes, Sam set her backpack on the table and pulled some papers out. ���He wants us to find a screenplay to go over. We have to read it and analyze it like we would for a book in class but he wants us to perform part of it in class.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know Paulina!” Sam threw her hands up in the air. “Why do they make us do anything? Now pick one from this list.” She threw a piece of paper at Paulina. “This is a list of plays I thought we would both be interested in.”
Paulina stared at Sam, stunned that she’d even consider Paulina’s interests when they clearly hated each other. Slowly, she looked down at the paper, her eyes scanning over the list. One popped out to her.
“Isn’t this one a musical? Does that count?”
Sam peered around at the paper. “I would think so. They’re basically plays, just with songs. I can’t see why it wouldn’t count.”
“Hm.” Paulina pursed her lips. “If we do this one are we gonna perform a song or a different part of the musical?” She looked over at Sam. She had a dangerous, determined look on her face.
“Only if we want to blow everyone else out of the water.”
Paulina stared for a few seconds, her cheeks heating up. Then she coughed and looked back at the paper.
“Yeah, okay. Let’s do that one.”
QQQQQ
“Why are they all named Heather anyways?”
Sam shrugged as Paulina squinted at her copy of the script. 
They sat in the middle of the stage in the empty auditorium. The rest of their class was in the library, but Mr. Lancer had given them permission to go over their own project in the auditorium. 
“What I wanna know is why there’s always so much drama in musicals set in high schools.” Sam wrinkled her nose. “Like I know we have the A-Listers and everything but this in here is so excessive.”
“What, you don’t like drama?” Paulina rested her chin on her hand, shooting Sam a smile.
“I don’t like high schoolers killing other high schoolers.”
Paulina’s smile fell. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” Sam looked down and away. She took a deep breath and stood up with her script in her hand. “Anyways. Let’s figure out which part we want to perform for the class.”
Paulina took a look at the list of songs they had. “What about Seventeen or Shine a Light? I listened to those a couple times and they both have different tones but they seem like they’d be fun to sing.”
Sam nodded. “And there’s not much about sex in either of those. That’s another thing, why do musicals about high schoolers talk so much about sex?” She faked a gag. “I think those are good choices because some of those songs would be so embarrassing to perform in front of the class.”
Paulina frowned. “If this one has stuff in it that makes you uncomfortable why’d you include it on the list?”
Sam shrugged. “I figured it’d make Lancer squirm. He didn’t actually give any specifications on what we could pick anyways. Now let’s get started. Which part do you want?”
“Oh oh! Can I have the lead part? That is, if you didn’t want it?” Paulina started standing up from where she sat on the floor.
Sam shook her head. “You can have it if you want. Want to practice Seventeen first?”
“Sure.”
The music started playing after Sam hit a button on her phone and it filled up the room.
Paulina took a deep breath. 
“Fine, we're damaged
Really damaged.
But that does not make us wise.
We're not special.
We're not different.
We don't choose who lives or dies.”
Paulina looked up at Sam as she sung the lyrics.
“Let’s be normal. See bad movies
Sneak a beer and watch TV.
We'll bake brownies, 
or go bowling --
Don't you want a life with me?
Can't we be seventeen?
That's all I want to do
If you could let me in.
I could be good with you.”
Paulina’s cheeks flushed but she continued singing.
“People hurt us.”
“Or they vanish…”
Goosebumps traveled over Paulina’s arms as Sam’s voice rang out towards her. 
“And you're right that really blows.
But we let go…”
Sam looked up and met Paulina’s eyes and it felt like Paulina was electrocuted. She pulled her eyes away and looked back down at her paper. They finished up the song and Paulina kept staring at her paper until Sam left out a breathless laugh.
“That was so cool! I’ve never really thought about doing theater or anything because it’s not very, you know, goth. But that was exhilarating!” 
Paulina watched as Sam laughed and smiled. She could feel herself falling in and laughed herself. 
QQQQQ
Paulina and Sam laughed as they walked out of the school together. Their project was due in two days and they were heading to Sam’s house to practice their song a bit more. 
“I can’t wait to see Lancer’s face when we discuss what the musical is about. Do you think he’ll-”
BOOM! 
Sam got cut off as something exploded ahead of them, sending both girls sprawling to the ground. 
Looking behind them from where she was on the ground, Paulina saw a giant animalistic ghost. It looked somewhere between a cross of a snake and a cat and it looked like it was about to shoot another blast off from it’s fangs. 
Just as the blast was launched towards Paulina, something crashed into the side of the ghost's head, sending the shot soaring into the sky instead. 
“Run! Get out of here!” Phantom shouted as he shot back at the ghost.
She stood up shakily but didn’t run away. She looked around the front of the school for Sam, where she saw the other girl in the middle of the sidewalk holding a...lipstick? With a determined look on her face. 
What was she planning to do with a tube of lipstick?
Paulina had begun inching her way over to Sam when a green blast came out of the lipstick she was holding onto. It shot into the ghost a couple of times, distracting it from Phantom’s attacks for a moment. 
It bared its teeth at Sam but Phantom punched it in the side of the head. Snarling, it batted Phantom away, sending it flying across the parking lot and it faced back towards Sam. 
Paulina felt like everything was happening in slow motion. When the ghost bared its teeth again, when another ball of ectoplasm started dripping from its fangs, when Paulina ran desperately across the parking lot and barreled Sam out of the way and onto the ground just before the blast created a crater in the ground where she stood a moment before. The ghost started snarling at them again.
“Hey ugly!” 
Phantom viciously threw another ectoblast at the ghost, stunning it before finally pulling it into his thermos. 
Paulina gasped and turned back to where Sam was still laying underneath her. 
“Sam! Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m-” Sam paused, frowning and her face flushing before she spoke again, looking over Paulina’s shoulder. “Shut up.”
“What?” 
Sam groaned. “That dip is making faces over there.”
Paulina turned around to see Phantom making kissy faces at them. She raised an eyebrow at him and he paused to give her a grin.
“Okay well, my job is done. Have fun you two!”
And he jumped into the air and flew away. 
“Seriously though.” Paulina crawled off of Sam and helped her up. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Why’d you do that anyways?” Her brows furrowed. “I would’ve been okay. You didn’t have to do anything.”
Paulina gaped at her. “It was about to attack you! It tried! It left a crater in the ground where you were standing! Why wouldn’t I have done anything?”
Sam looked away. “I didn’t think you cared.” She said softly.
Paulina’s stomach plummeted. “I wouldn’t have two weeks ago.” She whispered. “But then we got paired up for this project, and I realized that you’re actually very cool and that I was just really dumb in middle school.”
Sam looked at her. 
“And I think I’ve always sort of missed you. But I decided to never stop being mad so I never figured that out.”
“I guess I did the same thing too.” Sam said. “I could’ve decided to talk to you on my own and talk things out after a while but I just didn’t want to.”
“But it was my fault. I was the one being a terrible person.”
“Are you going to continue being a terrible person though?”
Paulina’s mind went back to the first time Sam’s rage had been bestowed upon her, when one of Paulina’s friends beat up one of Sam’s friends. She didn’t want to be the cause of that again. 
“No.”
“Well.” Sam smiled. “That’s the important part. That you’re capable of change.” She picked up her bag from where she had dropped it during the attack. “Now come on, my mom was gonna make cookies when we got home.”
Paulina smiled back at her and held up her arm to the other girl. Sam looked at it and linked her own arm with Paulina’s. Together they walked away from the school.
QQQQQ
Sam and Paulina’s chests rose up and down as they held their arms up into the air after performing the piece they picked from their musical. The class clapped for them and they lowered their arms and bowed.
“Very nice, Ms. Sanchez and Ms. Manson. Though, I wish you had picked something more appropriate than.” He squinted at the sheet they handed him. “Heathers the musical.”
Sam snickered. “Of course, Mr. Lancer. We’ll try to keep that in mind next time.”
Lancer gave her a look. “Yes, be sure that you do. Alright up next we have-”
Sam and Paulina walked back to their desks and sat down. Paulina shot a look to where Sam was sitting with Danny and Tucker, who were both making kissy faces at her while she swatted at them. Sam’s gaze met hers and Paulina waved at her before blowing a kiss to her across the room.
Sam’s face turned the brightest shade of red Paulina had ever seen it and she opened a folder and stuck her face inside it. Danny and Tucker were both teasing her even more, seemingly losing their mind about it. Paulina giggled at them and turned her focus back to the front of the classroom.
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Text
𝐈 𝐅*𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬
Oh, this lazy ass finally wrote something-
He was the right to his wrong. And sadly, Roman had no fucking clue. Not in that oblivious head of his.
Virgil Sanders X Roman Sanders, Background Logan Sanders X Patton Sanders, Background Janus Sanders X Remus Sanders (Human AU)
Word Count: 918
TW: Swearing, Virgil loathing love, Mentions of public events, Mention of sex, Mentions of blood. Msg if there is more.
★-----☾-----❍-----☽-----★
That wretched day.
That one. The one crossed out in red marker, symbolizing the day of Cupid and his minions of love coming to hunt down unsuspecting innocent souls like a huntress coming for the blood of a lamb. For that yearning of hurt in the name of love.
Oh, he hated love. A trickster, covered in pearls, sweets, teddy bears, and roses, creeping up to you, tapping your shoulder, whispering into your ear about a game. A seemingly harmless game of chance, with velvet curtains of smiles and red lipstick, hiding knives and arrows, all forged by the blood of the heartbroken.
He heard Love's whisper. The smooth voice of candy laced with ecstasy traveling to his brain in attempt to lure him into their trap. Thankfully, he declined with no hesitation, not a hint of regret or waver in his ‘no thanks'.
Because, as he said, Love is a game of chance. And he will not fall prey to it.
Even after pulling his green and brown eyes from the February calendar, that hatred for that day bloomed and flourished in the dim light of the dots of moonlight passing through his curtains.
To many it brought joy and dancing on the cobblestone till dusk, to others sorrow and white sticky liquid on their thighs, an innocence foolishly lost to lusty temptation.
Harsh remnants of winter blew in the wind as he stepped out the house, beaten converse thumping softly on the brick road of the street. Shiny stars Illuminating ink black skies with hints of navy slithering around.
Little Virgil Black almost smiled, breathing it all in as the icy breeze blew again, brushing against his pale skin like a mother's touch that was gone in the blink of an eye. His black hair waved like ink, the purple tips waving amongst each other like couples in a ballroom.
No… don’t think about that now.
He sighed, middle and index finger drawing tiny circles on his temples. Love was an enemy of his for a reason, and everything that stood beside it will stand against him. Including February 14.
Oh, February 14, what a tragedy you are. He won’t go into detail with this, but lets all just say February 14… is a haunted day. A day that crept up to him, mocking and forcing those cursed tears to overfill his green and brown dams till creaks that threat to break down turn into gruesome splashing of diamond blades down the pearly beach of his skin. It was… aggravating, to say the least. And he hated it with the fires of both Heaven and Hell.
“Virgil?”
Ah. He'd recognize that smooth and perky voice anywhere. The bouncing brown hair professionally styled on top of his head. The gleaming green eyes that can burn someone's kneecaps to jelly, forcing them on their nonexistent knees at his mercy.
Roman. Fucking. Kingsley. The boy behind the slaughter. The eccentric theater kid with a rose gold crown. The preppy history nerd who also, for some godforsaken reason, his best friend.
But to Virgil? Poor little Virgil? Oh, he was more. He was the boy who unknowingly made the moon shine silvery streaks over every living thing that deserved it. He was the boy who brought glitter in the despondency bliss of the falling drops of rain, heavy or light, he still brought it. He was the rose to his thorns. The sudden rainbow in dusty blue skies, fresh from the wrath of the storm. The peaceful reassuring breeze in the gloomy shadows of night under the spruce trees.
He was the right to his wrong. And sadly, Roman had no fucking clue. Not in that oblivious head of his.
He spun, raising his hand to wave, disrupting the gentle blow of the wind, “hey.”
Roman looked at him, a dream clouding his emeralds, “Hey, uh… I just came to ask you something.”
That was strange. Mr. Disney Prince? Life of the party? Being nervous?
And its about Virgil himself? Very very intriguing indeed.
He must be sick.
He raised an eyebrow at his deafening silence, “well? Spit, Princey.”
He only offered a broken chuckle, running a hand through his hair, “well, now you just made this harder-“
“Just say it.” He snapped.
“Will you go to the dance with me?”
Well, safe to say, Virgil was not very pleased with the answer.
What? Why? Why me? Does he not know me?
Who would’ve thought, the one loathing love with every fiber of his melancholy existence was being offered a hand of companionship by the one who basically lived with it. The… Melancholy Kaleidoscope.
“Its just that, Patton has Logan, Janus has Remus and I… I don’t want to go alone! You don’t even have to be my date, just stay with me? You don’t have to, please, just… consider it?”
My, my, have the tables turned. When the eccentric are nervous and the nervous are, discreetly, mind you, amused. Roman Fucking Kingsley? Rambling? Nervous? And to the one person he was always shameless with? What kind of glitch in the matrix did he stumble upon? Either he and Remus pulled a switcharoo or he genuinely, truly wanted Virgil to. And apparently to his surprise, considering the pleading, teary look on his face, it was the latter.
“I…” A glimmer, a shine of hope displayed on Roman's face, “I’ll.. I guess I’ll go…”
Oh, what a mess did Virgil get himself into.
But no matter, he was there with him.
★-----☾-----❍-----☽-----★
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emachinescat · 3 years
Text
Does It Count as Eavesdropping if You’re Comatose?
A Psych Fan-Fiction
by @emachinescat ​
@febuwhump​ day 28 / alt. 3 - coma
Summary: They say people who are comatose can still hear what is going on around them.  This is what Shawn heard.
Characters | Relationships: Shawn, Henry, Gus, Juliet, Madeline, Lassiter, Jack, Despereaux, Buzz, Woody, Chief Vick | Shawn/Juliet
Words: 3,898
TW: coma
Note: I really hope you enjoy this piece.  It was one of the most emotionally taxing, cathartic, and fulfilling pieces I’ve written in a long time.  I hope that comes across when you read it.  
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Shawn?
Where’s the doctor?  I need to speak to him.  Busy, my ass!  My son is in a coma.  I get that you’re just doing your job.  Just… find me someone who can give me an update.  …  Please.
Hey, bud.  I, uh – 
Shit.
Shawn, for the love of – what the hell did you think you were doing?  Going off on your own like that, not telling anyone where you were going or what you were doing.  You knew these people were dangerous, and you still… I know I taught you better than this.
Why, why do you never listen? 
***
Hey, Shawn.  Don’t think that just because you’re in a coma right now that we’re going to let this go.  You’ve pulled some stupid-ass stunts in your time, but this … this takes the cake.  And you know you’re supposed to share any cake you get with me.  Fifty-fifty split.
We’re partners, Shawn.  Why did you go in alone?
Well, all I have to say is that you better wake up soon.  The doctors say they are cautiously optimistic that you’ll have a full recovery if you will just wake up.  We’re all well aware that you are the laziest time-waster in Santa Barbara, but just this once, will you prove us wrong?
Please, Shawn.  You’re my best friend.  I … I can’t lose you.  Just.  Just come back, okay?
***
The doctors said that you might be able to hear what we say to you.  In my experience, doctors always say that, but, I don’t know.  It seems a little weird, don’t you think?  I mean, the thought of you lying there, so still that you might be … you know.  Anyway.  To think that you could actually be hearing everything I’m saying right now is…
It’s actually a little bit embarrassing.  Gosh, why do I always ramble like a moron when I’m nervous?  This is worse than the movie theater, the first time I asked you out.  Remember that?  Now that was humiliating.  
I know your dad and Gus have probably already given you enough lectures to fill up a novel, so I won’t yell at you for being an impulsive, stupid idiot.  Not yet.
For now, Shawn – his hand is really cold; is that normal?  Should I call the doctor?  No? – just know that I love you, with all my heart.
And that if you don’t wake up soon, I’ll kill you myself.
***
Mr. Spencer.  
Shawn.
I… I apologize for not coming to see you sooner.  It’s no excuse, but we’ve been really busy.  God knows how you did it, but you somehow managed to still get us the evidence we needed to take these guys down, even on death’s door.  These monsters have been tormenting a lot of very good people for far too long, and until you… did what you did, our hands were tied.
I suppose what I am saying is thank you.
It was incredibly stupid, and I – we all – wish you had never done it, but… thank you.
Wake up soon.  That’s an order.  
Oh, hi, Henry – I was just stopping by for a moment.  How are you holding up?  Yes, I – 
***
Hey, Goose.
I would have been here sooner, but I was stuck in New York.  I was in for a conference, and my flight got delayed because of snow, but… but you don’t really want to hear about that, do you?
You look good, considering.  From the way your father talked, I thought you’d be wasting away.  But your color is good.  You don’t have that gray pallor I’ve seen so often in those who have given up.  
That means you’re still fighting.  And that’s good.
If you’re wondering where your dad is, don’t worry.  Juliet and Gus dragged him to the cafeteria for some actual food – or as close as you can get to real food in a hospital.  Your father… That man, Shawn, I just don’t think you know how much he cares about you.  Not that it’s your fault.  Henry has never been good at showing how he feels.  
Sometimes I wonder if that’s why I married him, so long ago.  Maybe I thought I could fix him.  But you can’t really fix people, can you, Goose?  Not the way you’d like to.  
The doctors are doing everything they can to fix you, Shawn.  So don’t give up.  
Oh, here comes your father –
He’s fine, Henry – did you eat something?  Gus, did he actually eat something?  What did he eat?  Henry Spencer, coffee is not food!  Good grief, I’ll be right back...
***
Oh, Guster!  I… I didn’t know you would be here.  I’ll just… I was in the wrong room, that’s all.  Yeah, I was just visiting an old friend of the family.  Who?  None of your business, actually.  Just a friend, who is not Spencer.
What do you mean, I should stay since I’m already here?  Guster, I have important things to do, cases to solve, people to see!  Well, I suppose… Just for a minute, do you understand me?  This is ridiculous… Spencer butts his nose into my case, breaks the whole thing open, and damn near dies in the process…  
Guster – where the hell are you going?  You can’t leave me alone with Spencer!  …  What do you mean, talk to him?  Are you insane?  I don’t want to talk to him when he’s awake, why would I –?
You don’t have to shout.  I’ll stay while you step out.  
But I won’t talk to him.
Well, Spencer, this is a fine mess you’ve put yourself in.  
I mean sweet justice, man, do you ever think about what you’re doing?  About how it will affect other people?  The people who love you?
Not me, of course.  You know I could care less about you.  But my partner, your girlfriend, for some unfathomable reason, has chosen to be with you.  To like you for – man, this is hard to say – to like you for who you are.  I mean, have you met you?  That’s something that should never have happened, especially not after all the stupid stunts you’ve pulled over the years.  
But it did.  She… Juliet, she cares about you.  A lot.  If you could see just how much she’s hurting right now… 
Spencer, I once told you that if you hurt my partner, I’d kill you.  Well, you’ve gone and done it.  But I’m a fair man.  Well, I can be a fair man if given the right circumstances.  Okay, fine, I’m not exactly fair, but I do care about Juliet, so I will give you an ultimatum: If you go ahead and wake up, if you put a smile back on her face, then I will let you live.  But you’ve got to do it soon, got it?  No lollygagging like you usually do.  Just…
Guster!  You cannot just sneak up on a man like that!  No, I wasn’t talking to Shawn, don’t be ridiculous.  I’m on the phone with someone … Bluetooth.  
What?  NO!  My eyes are not “misty.”  Good lord, man, not everyone is a crybaby like you.  No, I’m not staying any longer!  Dammit, Guster, I don’t care – 
***
Hey, Shawnie!  
Look, this is a little awkward, I know, especially since I haven’t really been in touch since the whole Buchard’s treasure incident, but when your father finally got ahold of me, I rushed right over.  Bygones, and all that, am I right?  
Anywho… I brought you a penny.  I know it’s not much, but this one’s special.  It’s a 1943 bronze Lincoln.  One of the rarest out there.  I’ve been holding onto it for a while, but I thought you could use a little luck.  Well, a little more than a little, but…
Anyway, kiddo.  I hate seeing you like this.  I’m getting ready to go cliff diving in Peru, but I’ll be here with you in spirit, you got that?  Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone. 
Or do.  I guess if you’re doing something stupid, then you’re not sleeping anymore. 
Damn it.  I’m not good at this stuff.  
See ya around, kid.  
***
Hey, Shawn, my man!  Long time, no see, huh?  Do you mind if I eat something while we chat?  Want a bite?  It’s your favorite…
No?  Well, more for me, I suppose.
Hmmmm… your color looks less gray than last week.  Maybe the doctors are right, maybe you really are recovering, but… I don’t know.  Gah, I really wish they’d let me take a crack at you – ah, I mean, examine you, just in case, but… Apparently “someone who spends all day with the dead isn’t the right person to diagnose a living person, blah blah blah.”  Between you and me, friend, I think they’re hiding something from us.  It’s a conspiracy.  … Not like the Chief Vick is actually a time traveler conspiracy, mind you.  A real one.
Ah, whatever.  Whatever happens will happen, am I right, Shawn?  I have to say, you’re excellent company today!  I do miss your witty retorts, but you’ve got that comforting presence I’ve come to expect from my friends in the morgue.  They only get chatty when I haven’t slept for four days straight.  
Huh, you normally would’ve laughed at that.  
Anyway, keep on keeping on!  Whatever happens, whatever direction this thing ends up going, just know I’ve got your back.  And if you don’t make it in this world, well… let’s just say I picked out the perfect body bag to carry you into the next.  Spoiler alert: I embroidered this one myself!
Oh, and don’t forget!  I’ve called dibs on your autopsy, should it come to that!  Gosh, I can’t stop wondering if your heart really is going to be two sizes bigger than most.  I know it’s scientifically improbable, but you just love so damn much…
Ah!  Oh, Henry, you scared me!  I was just – no, I don’t have the body bag.  Promise.  Cross my heart and hope to – well, you know.  Little joke of the trade, hehe.  You’re not laughing – Shawn would have.
Okay, okay, I’m getting out, I’m leaving!  But if anything happens, you know that I – OW!  Okay, okay, yeah, got it.  Geez Louise, you’ve got a tight grip.  Did you arm wrestle in high school?  
***
Hey, Shawn.  How’s it going?
I mean, you’re in a coma, so I imagine it’s not great, but… I dunno, maybe it is.  Maybe it’s nice, wherever you’re at.
Say, I wonder if you’re in the place your psychic visions come from.  When you wake up, do you think you’ll be even more psychic than before?  That would be so cool…
Oh, Franny and Mrs. Pickles say hi.  She wanted to bake you a pie – Franny, of course, not Mrs. Pickles, he’s a cat – but I told her you were on a feeding tube, so she made me a pie instead.  It was blueberry.  One of the best pies I’ve ever tasted.  She told me to tell you that if, I mean when, you wake up, she’ll make you a pineapple upside down cake.  A whole one, just for you.
You’ve just got to wake up first, Shawn.
I … I really hope you wake up soon.  I miss seeing you around the station.  Heh, I even think Lassiter’s missing you.  He doesn’t say it so many words – or any words at all, for that matter – but he’s different.  Angrier, and I wasn’t even sure that was possible!  And he keeps glancing over at the front doors, like he’s expecting you to come waltzing in at any moment.  
Or, I dunno, maybe he ordered a pizza, but I’m betting he’s missing you, deep down.
We’re all missing you.  Get better soon, okay, buddy?
***
Well, kid.  It’s been five weeks.  You’ve always been a slowpoke in the mornings, but this is getting ridiculous.  
I’m running out of things to talk about.  Bet you’re not too broken up about that, huh?  Never did like to listen to what your old man had to say.  Still… you listened when it mattered.  Sometimes.  
I’m thinking about retiring again.  Karen’s trying to convince me to stay.  She says that she’s always got a place for me, that they may be bringing in a couple of temporary consultants in the next few weeks, to help lighten the caseload.  There’s a criminal profiler, a young woman who really knows her stuff, but Karen’s been holding off on hiring her.  Honestly, the girl’s good at what she does, but she doesn’t hold a candle to what you do.
Then again, she’s not an attention-seeking moron who runs head-first into danger without thinking of the consequences, but… she’s still not you.
Anyway, I told Karen I’d think about it, but I don’t know.  I’m getting old, kid.  I thought I wasn’t, I still felt pretty young, but recently… I don’t know.  The world just has a little less color in it than I remembered, and that’s what growing old looks like, isn’t it?  
If I retired, would you wake up?  If you didn’t have me “hovering” over you all day at work, would you finally come back?  I mean, I accepted the job in the first place to keep you safe, and that went to hell in a handbag.  Maybe I’m not so good at that job, after all.
Anyway, kid, you need to get off your lazy ass and wake up.
Believe it or not, I’m really starting to miss hearing your voice.
I love ya, kid.  And I want you back.
***
Shawn, you will not believe what came in the mail today!  
Seriously, guess.  
Come on… 
Dang it.  I really hoped that would get you curious enough to open your eyes.  
Anyway… something really did come in the mail.  Well, sort of.  I found it on your desk in the Psych office when I came in to check on things.  I’ve been advised that it might be a good idea to stop paying rent for an office I’m not using, but that feels like letting you go, like I’m giving up on you, and I’m not ready to do that.  So I’m going to keep paying that bill, okay?
But as I was saying, this envelope was just sitting on your desk!  Just your name on it, too.  At first I thought you were finally getting your Hogwarts letter, because it’s in a really fancy envelope.  It wasn’t, by the way.  Damn, I’m really rambling today.  Sorry.  I’m just … tired.  But I wanted to read you this letter before I head out to see a few more clients.  Here we go:
Dear Shawn,
It has come to my attention that you have been gravely injured and are in a coma in Santa Barbara Hospital.  My contact has informed me that you’ve been in this state for nearly two months now.  I am devastated to hear about this, and hope that by the time this letter finds you, you have awoken and are back to your normal self.  If not, then I can only hope that your friend Mr. Guster will be kind enough to read you this letter.
I regret that I was unable to visit you myself, but as I am currently wanted in no less than four countries, I thought it best to stay away from any place that is crawling with police officers.  I don’t know if you are aware of this, but between your lovely lady friend and her grumpy assistant, along with all of your other friends at the SBPD, you have an officer of the peace in your hospital room nearly around the clock.  And I know what you’re thinking – I made my name sneaking in and out of impenetrable places.  You would be right.  Perhaps I cannot face seeing you in such a terrible way with my own eyes.
You must recover soon!  I stole a lovely Van Gogh in your honor, but there was no way I could have mailed it to you without its being confiscated by the authorities.  I do think of you every time I see it upon my mantle.  
Sincerely,
Pierre Despereaux, Gentleman & Art Thief 
Did you hear that, Shawn?  Your iffy role model Despereaux is even worried about you.  I know that you would – for some reason – do anything to make that man proud.  So what do you say?  You ready to wake up yet?
Dammit, Shawn.  I don’t know how much more of this I can take.
***
Hey, there, Goose.  
I know it’s been a while since I’ve visited, but I’m actually on a conference tour right now, and your father is keeping me up to date on all developments.  You look nice today – your father just gave you a shave, and though it’s not the most even of cuts, it makes you look more like yourself.  
So, your father called me yesterday in near hysterics.  He said that you had shown the first signs of waking – when your nurse took your blood, you pulled away.  For the first time since all this started, you reacted to something in your surroundings.  Of course, I flew right in.
You haven’t responded to anything since, though.  Shawn, I –
You know I love you, right?  I realize that I’ve never been the best at this sort of thing – at being a mother.  I know I didn’t always make the right decisions.  Even now, I…
I miss you, son.  If you can hear me at all – and I know that you can – please, please, just… whatever is trapping you in your own mind, whether it is fear or trauma or pain or … please, just.  Come back to us.  I – 
Oh, Henry, when did you get back?  No, you don’t have to leave, I –  No, no, I’m fine, I told you I’m fine, I – 
 – It’s all right, Maddie.  I’ve got you.  You don’t always have to be strong, you know. – 
***
Okay, Shawn, I know I normally try to keep things light and positive, but I don’t think I have it in me to do that today.  I’m sorry, I just…
Today sucked, you know?  Like, really sucked.  Well, if I’m being honest, the past seven months have sucked.  But today was extra special.  
I won’t burden you with all of the details, but work was difficult today.  Lassiter and I got assigned a tough case, and, well, it didn’t end up the way we’d hoped.  Long story short, we uncovered a dirty cop.  It was, um… do you remember Lawson?  He worked in narcotics.  Turns out he’s done some things … hurt some people.  He wasn’t always accountable out in the field, and some things came to light.  Anyway.  It’s a mess.
And then there’s this whole thing with you.  I just … every time it looks like you’re making improvements, you just … you just retreat back into yourself, and I feel like I’m losing you more every day.  I promised you when this all started, on day one, that I would wait for you, that I would be patient, and I’m trying, but…
It’s not that I want to leave you or anything.  Not at all.  My patience is just wearing thin, and I can’t sleep and night and every day I wake up terrified to look at my phone, because what if I have a message that you’ve woken up, but that you don’t remember me at all?  Or worse, what if I get a message that you’ll never wake up again?  
Our bed feels empty.  I sleep with Mr. Snuggles every night, though – do you remember Mr. Snuggles, you know, the bear you won me at the fair when we started dating?  He’s soft, but he’s wearing a bit thin.  I guess holding a stuffed animal like it’s a lifeline every night for over half a year will do that, but I’m afraid he’s going to break soon.
I think… 
I think I’m already broken, Shawn, and I can’t – 
I’m sorry.  I’m sorry, I don’t mean to… I just miss you.
Did you know that I kiss you every night before I leave?  Nothing fancy, just a single, light kiss on the lips.  Sometimes I pretend that you’re the damsel in distress and I’m Prince Charming, and I almost manage to convince myself that when I pull back, your eyes will be fluttering open to look at me, like Snow White or Sleeping Beauty.  But every time, you stay asleep.
Maybe this time, you’ll wake up.  Can you do it for me, baby?  Please?
Well, it was worth a try.  I miss the way you used to kiss me back.  I’ll try again tomorrow.
I’ll never stop trying.  
I love you, Shawn.
***
I just don’t get it, Mr. Spencer.  The doctors say he’s recovered from his injuries almost perfectly.  Even the head injury, on the surface, has healed.  Why isn’t he waking up?  It’s been eleven months!
If I knew, Gus, I’d be the first to tell you, but I have no idea what’s going on inside that thick head of his. 
I’m sorry.  I know you’ve got a lot on your plate right now, too.  I shouldn’t be –  
Gus.  Just like I told Jules, we have to be here for each other.  That’s all we can do.  That, and be here for Shawn when he wakes up. 
If he wakes up.
Don’t say that, Gus.  You know Shawn.  He’s the most stubborn person either of us knows.  He’ll wake up.  He’ll make it through this. 
How long are we going to keep telling ourselves that?  He’s been comatose for almost a year, Mr. Spencer.  Every time he shows signs of coming back, he just… doesn’t.  How long do we keep waiting?  Two years?  Five?  How long until we’ve reached the point of no return?  Will we even know it when we see it?
Gus, the point of no return doesn’t happen until he stops breathing, and that’s not going to happen, okay?  We stick by Shawn until our prayers are answered or are no longer necessary.  Got it? 
You’re right, I’m so sorry.  Of course I’d never give up on Shawn, I’m just so tired –
Shhhh! 
I am pouring my heart out here!  I let you cry on my shoulder yesterday, and you won’t even let me –
First off, I wasn’t crying, and even if it was, I wouldn’t be doing it on your shoulder.  Secondly, I could have sworn I saw – yes!  He’s moving!  Do you see his hand, Gus?  Gus! 
I … I dunno Mr. Spencer.  Could be another false alarm.
Maybe, but… this feels different.  Shawn?  Shawn?  Can you hear me, bud?  Can you open your eyes? 
He’s stopped moving.  His heart rate’s normalizing.  I think –
“D-dad?”
Oh my – thank GOD, Gus, get a doctor, get a nurse – call Jules – Shawn, Shawn, can you hear me? 
“Dad?”
I’m here, Shawn, I’m here.  Open your eyes for me – there you go.  Gus has gone to get the nurse.  He’ll be back with someone in a second. 
“Jules?”
She’ll be here, she’s just outside.  Thank God you’re awake, I – 
“I h-heard, Dad.”
What? 
“I heard.  Everything.”
You did, huh? 
“Yeah… do you a-always sound like a dying lawn mower when you cry?”
Dammit, Shawn, can’t you let me enjoy having you back for one second before you ruin it?
“L-love you, too, Dad.”
Welcome back, son.  It’s good to see you smile again. 
“Yeah, you too, dad – weird… But good.”
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I’ve Traveled Troubled Oceans - Chapter One: The Plot
“What the fuck am I supposed to do with this painting?” Jack asks the room at large.
Anne shrugs.
Charles grunts.
“Maybe Max would want it?”
That's the most sensible suggestion Jack's probably going to get out of the lot of them – and it's coming from the new guy. So that bodes well for this whole fucking venture now doesn't it.
“Wait,” Charles says, finally deigning to actually look at what the fuck Jack's talking about. “Flint didn't want it?”
It is, technically, Flint's painting. Traded to Jack for hash by some street kids and paid to Flint in recompense for connecting him with that party full of poncy coke fiends with more money than burst capillaries.
Anne gives a derisive snort.  “Nah, he fucked off to America to live in romantic poverty with his boy toy.”
Though given that said boy toy is heir to the Hamilton fortune, their romantic poverty is more likely to involve a stately home in Greenville or Chapel Hill or something than actual poverty of the variety he or Anne or Chaz are familiar with.
“Well I don't give a fuck what you do with it, Jack. Just get it out of here. I don't want any more Spaniards poking around. Or Russians. Or whoever the fuck they were. They fucking trashed the place.”
“Yes, of course, Charles. You're absolutely right. They simply ruined the whole crack den vibe we've got going on here. I'll make certain we get our interior decorating straightened out first priority.”
“Fuck you, Jack.”
Charles wishes.
“Well, if I'm actually giving it to Max, Anne had better be the one to deliver it.” Since Max doesn't like Jack, for some reason. And really, really likes Anne for completely obvious reasons.
“Fine,” Anne grits out. As if getting eaten out in the back of a Range Rover is really fucking up her social calendar. “But you're helping me carry it all the way to the fucking West End.”
Wonderful. Now Jack gets to stand outside in the cold while Anne gets eaten out in the back of a Range Rover.
“Fine.”
Jack shrugs on his warmest coat. Maybe he can make a little dosh off the snobby theater patrons. The rich artsy fucks – or those who style themselves that way, anyway – always have a habit or two to indulge.
But surprisingly, Jack gets pulled into the back of Max's car right along with Anne and the painting. And he doubts it's for another ill-considered threesome. Not with the way Max actually deigned to pause whatever boring regency-era drama she's got on. No, she wants to talk business.
Exactly what business that is becomes apparent when Mr. Scott joins them.
“You want the money,” Jack blurts out.
Max nods.
“And you want to use my crew to get it.”
Another nod.
“Fuck no. I'm not going against Eleanor and Woodes Rogers. Not for love or money.” He gets up to leave, gesturing Anne to follow. She's the love, he's the money.
Mr. Scott speaks up. “He owes me.” His tone is level, but Jack can read the vehemence behind it. “They all owe me.”
And Jack doesn't have to be a genius to guess what he means.
“He sent you away for that four stretch. Just like he sent Flint and Silver and who knows how many others.”
Like Charles. Oh, fuck, Charles. Who'd gone away on a two stretch on a job that shouldn't have been anything but a quick in and out. But somehow London's finest had been there, waiting, handcuffs just ready to snap around his wrists.
“That man owned me, body and soul.” And Mr. Scott's anger has gone beyond vehement to downright poisonous, though he's still speaking in that same even tone. “But he thought I was getting greedy. Getting uppity. So he sent me away, to teach me a lesson.”
Like he was some errant school boy and Lord Hamilton his headmaster. Oh, he'd always styled himself as such, the pompous prick. Mr. Scott takes a breath.
“So yes, I want the fucking money.”
Fair enough, in Jack's estimation. But that still doesn't explain why he's the one who has to go get it.
“Surely there are enough remnants of Flint's old crew to con into this suicide mission.” Billy Bones comes to mind. He's pretty sure either Eleanor or Woodes Rogers would be susceptible.
“Flint's gone,” Max supplies. “Bones turned traitor. And Silver paid me out the ass to help him disappear. Last I'd heard, he ran away up North to open a pub with Madi.”
So that's his share disappeared, then. No wonder Max is going straight to the source.
Anne snorts. “Wonder how long that honeymoon's going to last.”
Max smiles, and it's not a very nice expression. “Well, either they'll reconcile or Madi will be back here in a week with a big fat insurance payment on the pub that mysteriously burned down – and Silver will be nowhere to be found.”
Mr. Scott smiles proudly. Madi truly is her mother's daughter.
“Ok, ok. You're short on options. But that still doesn't explain why you'd come to me.” Jacks been out of that particular game since Charles went away. And sure, he's built himself a tidy little empire here, dealing drugs to the rich idiots who want them. But that doesn't mean he's ready to get back in the saddle – and certainly not with anything on the scale Max is talking about.
Max looks uncomfortable, which isn't an expression Jack's used to seeing on her. “It needs to happen quickly and with discretion.”
And there isn't anyone else she trusts with this, Jack realizes. Well, damn. Now he's got to do it – Max owing him a favor is worth thrice his weight in cold hard cash.
“Why the time limit?” Anne asks.
An excellent question. “The Eleanor I know doesn't need the money. She probably just took it because she got bored of her gilded little cage.” She'll want to keep it around for a while, as a trophy if nothing else.
“Eleanor doesn't need the money,” Max says with a grin that spells nothing but misfortune for her victims, “but Woodes Rogers is another story entirely.”
“I thought he was loaded,” Jack interjects. “Surely blow and rent boys can't run him that much.” Though if he holds parties like the one Jack had attended on a regular basis – that might actually start draining the old trust fund. But even so, he and Eleanor both work the kind of rich people jobs that amount to doing fuck all and being paid out the ass for it. So he doesn't think that's quite it.
Mr. Scott smiles, and it's not a very warm expression. “Apparently Mr. Rogers has something of a gambling problem. He's run up significant debts with some international syndicates – including our friends the Spanish.”
“And now that his patron Lord Hamilton is out of the picture,” Max continues, “he's left with wolves at the door. The cash is as good as gone by the end of the week.”
“Well shit,” Anne says.
A sentiment Jack wholeheartedly endorses.
“Even if I had an entire week to plan this venture, I couldn't guarantee success. And all you're giving me is three days! How the hell am I supposed to pull this off, Max?”
Max smiles. “Charles is back in town, isn't he?”
“Yes,” Jack says tightly.
“That's your way in.”
“Now I know you're joking.”
Max raises one delicate eyebrow in question.
“Charles and Eleanor had a rather... explosive falling out right before he went away. Surely you heard about it. There's no way in hell he's our way in – she'll slam the door right in his face.”
“The thing about Eleanor, Jack, is that she loves to burn bridges. But once she's burned them, she inevitably finds herself looking back across the water to the other side. And finds she rather misses what she had when she was there.”
And isn't that just a terrible insight into Max and Eleanor's former relationship. Jack shudders. He's never going to bitch about Max being with Anne again.
Probably.
“Ok,” Anne says. “So Eleanor still has the hots for Chuck and she'll fuck him just cuz of that.”
“Well, not just because of that,” Max interjects. “She'll fuck him because she likes to have her cake and eat it too.”
Max waves an airy hand around the group assembled.
“We are all well aware of how things ended between her and Charles. And she hates to lose face above all else. Her fucking Charles and then throwing him over is her rewriting the breakup – getting to play the all powerful king and him the pitiful subject, to be used and thrown away on a whim.”
Jesus fucking Christ.
“Fine,” Anne interrupts, annoyed. “Eleanor's going to play weird sex mind-games with him instead. How does this help us get the money?”
“Eleanor's the one who'd smell a rat,” Jack says. “Woodes Rogers isn't exactly the sharpest or most conniving knife in the drawer. He'd let us right in on, on the pretense of another party. We sell to him and his friends again and they're all too off their heads and sex crazy to bother wondering where we've run off to after.”
“The rich have an amazing ability to overlook the “help” once they've stopped making themselves useful,” Mr. Scott adds.
“Right, yes.” Jack nods decisively as a plan forms. “And with Eleanor otherwise occupied, we'd have run of the whole house. Plenty of time to snoop around and find the money. And if we bring a travel case for the drugs – we load up the cash and just walk out as if nothing ever happened.”
“And as luck would have it,” Mr. Scott interjects, “they plan on throwing a party this very Wednesday evening – in celebration of Miss Guthrie's birthday.”
A plan formed, Jack and the others all nod in unison. They're going to get that fucking cash.
Although convincing Charles to go along with it might be a little difficult.
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artificialqueens · 4 years
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Girls Interrupted, Chapter 1: The Institution: 1, Katya: 0 (Vatya) 2/2 - Maeve
A/N: It’s Maeve again! I’m so freaking surprised and overjoyed at the positive reception Girls Interrupted has received. All of you who have such kind things have truly inspired me to keep going on this. I can now say I'm rewatching seasons in the name of research! As always, feedback is welcome. I write because I enjoy it but also so other people can enjoy it, too. So, really, I’d love to hear any feedback or suggestions.
P.S. I’m having so much fun writing the interactions between Katya and the other queens, but I think my favorite part of this chapter is either an especially cheeky Sharon Needles line or the gym teacher/coach that is very loosely based on a straight Santino Rice
This chapter picks up right where the last chapter left off: Violet and Katya’s ice breaker activity…
Fortunately, Violet realized that she would—at the very least—have to cooperate with the menial activity. “Violet,” she supplied cooly.
Katya tried and failed to stifle her laugh. The raven-haired girl looked at her challengingly.
“Tha-that’s a good choice. Very good. I love every color!” Katya stammered as she wrote down Violet’s response. She couldn’t be sure if her partner was filling out her own worksheet, but Katya couldn’t bring herself to care that much. She just wanted this over and done with. Each moment she spent next to the cheerleader made her feel more and more inadequate. Violet was judging her; she felt small enough on her own.
“If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?” Katya continued.
This one Violet was quick to answer, “Literally anywhere but here.”
Her passive face told Katya she wasn’t going to get a better answer. I’ll just put down ‘Everywhere. She loves to travel.’, she resolved. “I think it would be really cool to go to Russia,” Katya offered.
Violet’s eyes left her phone screen. They searched the face of the blonde across the table, traveled down to Katya’s communism-inspired name card, and finally met her partner’s ocean blue eyes. “No?” Her face contorted in mock shock. “Let me guess,” she pandered, “If you could have lunch with any famous person dead or alive, you’d choose Putin.”
“Good guess,” Katya shook her head with amusement, “But it’s actually Maria Bamford.” It was obvious that Violet had no idea who Maria Bamford was. However, a quick glance at the clock told her there wasn’t enough time left in the class for her to go off on another tangent. “What about you, Violet?”
“Dita Von Teese. Next,” she urged.
“What are your favorite TV shows?” Katya continued eagerly, excited that Violet was finally being an active participant.
Violet’s response was almost instant, “Forensic Files and Sex and the City.” Everything about the brunette screamed confidence and certainty—something that came through in everything that she did. Katya wished it were that easy for her.
“I really like Game of Thrones, The Heart She Holler, and Storage Wars: Northern Treasures…..It’s the Canadian version,” Katya trailed off. There was an unspoken ‘and?’ in Violet’s expression, but she couldn’t produce a single reason for why that mattered. But it had mattered. “Anyway…What’s next?” Katya pushed through her embarrassment. “Something I’m good at? Sleeping, I’m good at sleeping. I guess I’m very bendy. Flexible. I can do theater, too…”
“Just put down cheer for me,” Violet ordered without looking up from her own worksheet. The blonde hesitated at the instruction, and Violet let out an impatient huff. “What?”
Katya was quick to apologize, “Sorry, it’s just that I thought you might say something about fashion.” She swallowed thickly. “I’m-I’ve seen you in the halls before, and you look good. Great. Your clothes. You clearly put a lot of effort into your appearance, and I thou—”
“Well, you thought wrong,” Violet spat. “You don’t know anything about me, so don’t pretend like you do.”
The blonde hurriedly scribbled down the word cheer under question five on her page and grabbed both of their papers. “Right. I’ll just go turn these in,” Katya fled the table without a thought. She had clearly angered Violet. Didn’t the popular kids like it when you stroked their egos? Katya wondered. She hadn’t meant to come off as judgemental. It was obvious that they weren’t on the same level, and hopefully Violet would understand that she hadn’t been trying to judge her. She only wanted to get to know the girl better, but she knew know how stupid she’d been to think that possible. No one like Violet would ever waste time on her. Sighing, she placed the two worksheets in a plastic turn-in bin labeled ‘4th’, and made her way back to her desk.
Katya had been disappointed that she had double A Lunch, but the forty minutes were the perfect break before pre-calculus. While it meant she could eat earlier, it also meant that she had no friends to eat with. Ginger and Bianca both had B Lunch. So Katya found herself on the steps of the stairs in the courtyard by the fine arts wing, eating a peanut butter and banana sandwich. There was beauty in the simple things, though, and Katya could appreciate the warmth of the sun and the slight breeze that late morning.
Mrs. Hugh’s room was stuffy. Katya’s funfetti extravaganza was clinging to her yet again, but she couldn’t adjust the fabric too much without disrupting those around her. She wasn’t willing to risk it. Unlike in all her other classes, the blonde always sat front and center in math class. All of the numbers made a mess in her head, and it was easier if she had fewer distractions. No one else felt the same way, though. So when Alaska tumbled in just before the tardy bell, Katya was forced into yet another less than ideal situation.The sunny cheerleader didn’t share that sentiment. Alaska flashed Katya a hundred watt smile and whispered a hello.
Katya didn’t get Alaska. Alaska wasn’t your stereotypical dumb blonde. She struggled in some areas but always kept up with the pack. So she was smarter than she looked? Big deal. What Katya failed to understand was why such a kind, sincere, and smart person would allow herself to be bullied by her peers. The cheer squad clearly didn’t think she had brain cells; Alaska was practically their punching bag from what she’d observed. So why hang around?
Miss Honard, you are an enigma, Katya assessed.
Katya’s continued curiosity over the duration of  Mrs. Hugh’s introductory speech gained her a very important piece of information: if she couldn’t get the lanky blonde out of her head, she was going to have to let her in. And Katya would not be friends with a cheerleader.
Katya praised Marx for the district employee who put Bianca Del Rio in her history class. She and Bianca were unlikely friends—a high school mascot and a theater kid didn’t really run in the same circles—but made an unstoppable duo. Coach A., their teacher seemed to get a kick out of them too.
Bianca was an unexpected constant in Katya’s life. The self-proclaimed bitch was Spartacus, the high school mascot, and the two would never have overlapped if not for their shared love/hate relationship with theater. She was a year younger than Katya but that didn’t stop her from providing Katya with the tough love she needed to keep her head screwed on. Keeping her head on straight was out of the question; Bianca did what she could.
The two girls schlepped over to the far side of the school where the gym was located. Katya, who had made the dumb decision to postpone getting her PE credit for as long, was not looking forward to an entire year of physical activity. Bianca, on the other hand, basically earned herself a double off campus by taking on the role of mascot. And yes, she definitely took pleasure in rubbing the fact in Katya’s face. Sucks to suck.
The other shit thing about a 7th period gym class was that Katya would be in uncomfortably close proximity to the cheerleaders. It felt wrong—almost like she was breaking a nonexistent restraining order. What sick bastard decided the plebs in “team sports” should be forced to observe the pretty girls in peak physical capacity while they drowned in their own sweat? Katya didn’t know the answer, and you certainly couldn’t hold her accountable if they were suddenly beheaded.
One locker and a stack of unisex uniforms later, Katya found herself entertaining the musings of Sharon Needles, resident goth girl.
“‘I look spooky, but I’m really nice,’” Sharon had said when they were assigned lockers next to each other. The witchy teen had a thing for reading people—not that an anxious Katya was hard to see through—and took one look at her and saw a kindred spirit. The funfetti dress and clown shoes didn’t scream normal, either. Katya had been uncharacteristically optimistic about befriending Sharon for all of ten minutes before everything went to shit. Phi Phi O’Hara, Sharon’s mortal enemy, also happened to be in the class.
“I’m surprised you took gym, Party City. Wouldn’t want you to melt in your own sweat.” Phi Phi snarked. The playground bully reclined herself against the row of lockers across from them and examined her nails.
Katya groaned inwardly. Sharon groaned outwardly.
“Fuck off, Phi Phi,” Sharon begged. “Don’t you ever get tired of the sound of your own voice? My ears are bleeding and not in a pleasant way.”
“Eat shit and die, Shar Bear,” Phi Phi called over her shoulder as she skipped off to bother some other poor shmucks.
Phi Phi the schoolyard bully reminded Katya of the villain poodle in one of those Open Season movies. Ironically, that poodle was also named Fifi, which was funny because the poodle was also a boy. Fifi the poodle was groomed like a pretty purse dog and had a little blue bow in his hair. Katya was inclined to take Phi Phi O’Hara—who was not incredibly dissimilar to a trophy pet—just as seriously.
“What crawled up her ass and died?” Katya scrunched up her face.
“If you find out, let me know,” Sharon deadpanned. “I need a smoke.” Katya watched in amusement as the locker room’s resident goth chick removed a pack of Marlboro’s and a lighter from her leather jacket. Sharon caught the blonde’s expression and raised her fist in response. “Fight the system,” she stoically decreed. Katya shrugged as if to say “what can you do?” and gestured for Sharon to walk back to the gym with her.
Their gym class had been banished to the wooden bleachers so the cheerleaders could practice for that Friday’s Back-To-School Pep Rally. The two girls tucked themselves into a far corner on the top row, and Sharon finally lit up.
Coach Rice, who had taken attendance at the beginning of class, had stepped in to assist Coach Calhoun with cheer practice.
Katya and Sharon were fortunate enough to have an unobstructed view of the girls shamelessly throwing themselves at the older man. The majority of the bimbettes were faces she expected: Detox, Roxy, Willam, Courtney, Adore, and Laganja. What she wasn’t expecting, however, was for one Violet Chachki to be the leader of the pack. Stratford’s mean queen never sought out attention, let alone fought for it. Miss Chachki was a one of a kind collectible, and the entire student body knew it. You either wanted her or wanted to be her.
Today, it seemed her flavor of choice was Santino Rice.
Katya udged Sharon with her elbow. “What do you make of that?” She consulted the other girl.
Sharon took a moment to complete her assessment. “I bet a girl that tightly wound is a real screamer in bed,” she answered smoothly. Katya had not been expecting any response of the sort and physically toppled over as she was seized by laughter. Katya’s wheezing drew the attention of those nearby, and Sharon had to hold her cigarette in her mouth so she could flip them off with both hands. They could mind their own fucking business.
Katya was still clinging onto Sharon’s thigh when her fit died down. “You bitch!” She shrieked.
“I’m not wrong,” Sharon defended, taking another long drag from her cigarette. “Ten bucks says she’s hitting on him right now.” In her best Valley Girl impression she crooned, “Oh, Coach Rice, can you help me with my form?”
Katya wasted no time in contributing to the impression. “Can we go to Red Lobster?” The blonde begged in her best Violet-esque bedroom voice.
The absurdity of the request and the thought of Violet, herself, saying those words caused Sharon to half cackle and half choke on her own smoke. Her throaty laugh bounced off of the walls, and this time, it wasn’t just a few pairs of eyes that turned to them.
Uh oh, Katya cringed, busted.
“Sharon Needles, put that shit out and march your ass on over to Assistant Principal Visage’s office!” Coach Rice demanded.
Katya facepalmed hard. What is wrong with you, you stupid whore? She groaned. It’s your fault she’s in deep shit, and she’s never going to speak to you again. The blonde was about to lose herself in an abyss of despair when Sharon’s voice filled the room again.
“Oh no!” Sharon drawled, “Whatever shall I do?” Katya had brought her head up to witness the spectacle and was met with Sharon’s shit-eating grin.
Katya raised her fist in solidarity, referencing Sharon’s anti-establishment words in the locker room. Her spooky new friend shot her a cheeky wink before saluting her corporate whistleblower and unhurriedly leaving the building.
Katya’s eyes left Sharon’s retreating form just in time to catch Violet glaring at her.
The blonde did her best not to worry. It wasn’t like Violet could have known they were talking about her, right?
The bell rang at 3:00, and Katya still hadn’t managed to put the captain of the cheer squad out of her mind. She spent her entire 8th period dodging Bianca’s questions and pleading for some all-knowing entity to tell her just where in life she had gone wrong. Definitely new year, same bullshit. Katya had attempted to begin her junior year with a more optimistic attitude, but after a first day for the history books, she was ready to call it quits.
You win, Stratford, you win. I am but a shell of a man. Woe is the poor soul who dare enter thee, Katya scowled.
The rest of Katya’s will to live vanished when she finally reached her trusty blue Beetle in the junior lot.
“Mother, I am want to commit death,” she muttered.
The cherry red convertible parked next to Katya’s car belonged to none other than Violet Chachki. The bright red exterior was blinding under the afternoon sun, and Katya had to squint to make out faces. A swarm of girls in uniform short skirts and halter tops formed a green and white sea around her only means of escape. Not wanting to engage with Violet for a third time that day, the blonde chose to turn on her heels and pop a squat on the curb.
It was going to be a long year.
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moonstruckbucky · 5 years
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My Thoughts on Endgame
I went to see Endgame last night and have had all day up in my office all alone to compile my thoughts and feelings, of which there are numerous, about the movie while it’s all still fresh. Major spoilers below the cut, so if you haven’t seen it, back away!
Warning: Super long post ahead.
First, I’d like to say I am a Tony/Nebula stan, wholeheartedly. Somehow, the Russos managed to lighten up a very dark reality where Tony and Nebula are floating listlessly in space and running out of oxygen. The dark mood is made a little lighter by a noticeably very thin Tony teaching Nebula about paper footballs, and her innocence of Earthly activities gave her a human depth that only made me fall even deeper in love with her character. And the way she pushes Tony’s (probably last) bag of food towards him, knowing he needs it more than she does. (Does she even eat? Do cyborgs eat?)
Second, Clint’s family disappearing was the first time I cried. Honestly, I didn’t have a dry eye the entire movie, but it progressively got harder and harder for me to not sob. We’ll get to that.
Carol popping out of literal space to come cart Tony’s ass home was admittedly a little cheesy, but I didn’t hate it. What I really loved was Tony’s reunion with both Steve and Pepper, and the fight that ensued, mostly on Tony’s end, was emotional and so very Tony that I still had a hard time keeping it together. And I’m really glad that the Russos didn’t just skip over Civil War in favor of uniting everyone to take down Thanos for good. And it showed how broken up over it Tony still was because we all know Tony does have a heart and Steve Rogers broke it.
An appropriate time skip 5 years into the future and Scott Fucking Lang and that goddamn rat busts out of the Quantum Realm only to discover almost his entire family has been dusted. Ouch. And once he finds his daughter, instead of moping and falling into a pit of depression and grief, he hauls ass to the compound to talk to the Avengers about time travel and undoing everything.
Here’s where Meg really loses her mind. The teams. The effort to get the stones back. Natasha Fucking Romanoff schooling the Science Bros in figuring out there are three stones in New York all at once. Fucking Captain Sassypants fighting his 2012 self and Mr. Stark Scott Lang (i’ve been corrected) perfectly coining the term “America’s Ass” and Steve just going with it. I can’t with these two, honestly. Steve swearing. Talk about sticking it to Joss Whedon for that pathetic little joke we all thought was funny until we knew better. That whole sequence was perfect, especially because it didn’t go off without a hitch. Which means Loki is still alive somewhere in another reality. Yahoo!
Thor. Poor alcoholic, out of shape, PTSD-stricken Thor. My baby angel. It hurt to see him so lost and broken, but Korg and Meike playing Fortnite about killed me. The balance of humor to sadness was utterly perfect through this whole movie and it was all comprised of jokes that made sense. The fat suit made me cry of laughter because it looks so goddamn unnatural on someone who’s as cut as Hemsworth, and Tony’s Lebowski dig was wholly appropriate.
This is where Meg realizes she is not going to be okay for the eightieth time. When Nat and Hawkeye are delegated to retrieve the Soul Stone, because we know while they don’t what needs to be done in order to get the stone. I had a feeling Nat might be one of the ones we lost, but I have to say I never saw it coming like this. I was inconsolable through the entire sequence as she and Clint are fighting over who’s going to be the one to die. I had my sweatshirt over my nose to stifle my sobbing and my boyfriend’s looking over at me wondering if I’m going to be okay. Y’all should see my eyes today, no lie.
And the fact that they played the same music for Nat that they did Gamora in IW was the knife through my heart followed by that heart-wrenching shot of her lying dead at the bottom. She’s gotten rid of the red in her ledger. Natasha, my beautiful, intelligent, bad-ass, super spy, we love you. So much.
Steve in mourning for Nat deserved more screen time than just a quick shot of him crying while Banner pitches a bench across the lake. Steve and Nat were one of the powerhouse friendships of the MCU, and this is one of the few shortcomings of Endgame. I wanted to see Steve angry, and heartbroken, something on par with Clint’s outburst that it should have been him. Steve and Nat were best friends, he deserved a little more screen time to mourn such a powerful relationship.
The epic battle scene that follows after this is nothing short of incredible. The entire theater erupted in cheers when Steve wielded Mjolnir like he was meant to, so at least Joss Whedon got some foreshadowing right! At first I thought it was lifting by itself but nope! Steve is worthy, and he knows he’s worthy. There’s an incredible theory out there that Mjolnir can detect someone’s perceived self-worth, and I fully believe that theory after watching this movie. And the little humor in there when Steve ends up with Stormbreaker and Thor gets Mjolnir and says, “No, no, give me that. You get the little one.” Kill me. The fact that Thor is doing all this badass fighting with a beer gut leaves me in stitches just thinking about it.
That epic entrance of all those who fell to the Snap emerging in a beautifully shot sequence gives me life, okay? It was perfect. I even looked to my boyfriend and said, “Where are the others? If it worked, where are they?” and BOOM! There they all are. Bucky with his long-ass hair is such a fucking look, I can’t even. AND STEVE FINALLY SAID THE THING. I swear the entire theater cheered again for this!! Also Rocket wearing Bucky’s goggles that he probably stole? Epic. Even if they aren’t his, but you can’t really convince me they’re not because they’re too similar. So Rocket hasn’t lost his penchant for stealing things.
Okoye, fierce queen, we see you taking out Corvus Glave all on your own. We also see that amazing, powerful female battle squad who cut through Thanos’s army like it was fucking tissue paper. Wanda, the Strongest Avenger (fight me on that, I dare you), taking on Thanos and stripping him of his armor like the fucking boss she is. Say it with me again: Strongest Avenger. 
I also really really loved the game of Hot Potato with the gauntlet. Which brings us to...Mr. Anthony Edward Stark. The OG, the Big Guy. These next two paragraphs will be dedicated to him. The man who, 7 years ago, told us he would just “cut the wire” rather than lay his life on the line to save the other guy. When Dr. Strange said to Tony, “If I tell you what happens, it won’t happen,” I really, truly believed that Strange didn’t think Tony would go through with sacrificing himself in order to stop Thanos. He’d try to find another way. And yet I, along with a lot of others, knew he would do just that. Because Tony is nothing if not determined to prove everyone wrong about who they think he is, including Steve Rogers. Especially Steve Rogers. 
Tony gets to interact with his father and learns that while Howard was incredibly flawed, he was still wholly dedicated to his family. Proven by his nervousness about fatherhood because all he’s ever known is technology, and he knows a child does not work the same way tech does. He’s terrified. And he hides, buries himself in his work because he doesn’t know what to do. But he loves his family, I know he does. A lot of other people know he does. I was a mess for that whole thing, too.
Tony’s funeral was absolutely perfect, a perfect sendoff to this legendary man who basically built the MCU. RDJ, we love you 3000. Thank you for giving us Iron Man. Thank you for carrying us through this journey of hilarity, sadness, darkness, anger, grief, all of it. I have a ton of emotions over RDJ’s exit from the MCU but I can’t properly formulate words.
ALSO: HARLEY WAS AT TONY’S FUNERAL. HE WAS THE LONE OLDER TEENAGER. CUE MORE CRYING FROM MEG.
And the final bit that seems to cause a lot of dissatisfaction: Steve’s final decision.
I personally loved it. I don’t like the misstep in jumping over Steve and Bucky’s bond, because that was a driving force for an entire movie, Russo brothers. So I feel a little cheated with their relationship taking a backseat to Sam receiving the shield to take up the Captain America mantle. But aside from that, Steve’s decision was very, very fitting. He’s given so much of himself to wars and other people that he deserves to be selfish. And maybe he had that quote in AOU that someone else came out of the ice, but A4 Steve knew he could have that life, and he chose it. Bucky knew, almost instantly, when Steve was about to bring the stones back, which was why he was so relaxed and calm when he didn’t come back.
Bucky, I feel, is relieved above all to see Steve reach old age, since he probably never expected him to, at least before he became Captain America. He’s lived his life as Cap, and now he gets to live another as the man who finally got the girl. I just wish we could have seen more of the bond between the two of them, unless they had some kind of heart to heart off-screen which, again, a waste of one of the quintessential relationships in Steve Rogers’s life. 
And Bucky and Sam having some kind of mutual understanding, I know for a fact there was some reconciliation in the Soul World that we may or may not get to see in the new series coming out. I would love to see the two of them struggle with coming to grips with the fact that they were dead, and came back because their friends put themselves on the line at an incredible risk to try and bring everyone back. I think they could really create a bond similar to Steve and Bucky’s that was built on being “men out of time” and instead create a bond that’s men who survived the Snap and now are living a life without Steve Rogers (assuming he won’t take up the mantle again and will succumb to old age, like he goddamn deserves). Bucky is all for Sam taking that mantle, and that second of understanding between the two of them sent me off into another cry fest because I really love their dynamic, and Seb and Mackie both just have amazing on-screen chemistry. I am so excited to see what they bring to the new series coming out.
I would also like to say that while I was very emotional over Steve hearing Sam’s voice over comms saying, “On your left,” I really feel that Bucky should’ve had something. That’s really where Endgame’s biggest shortcoming is. They’ve built up the relationship between Bucky and Steve through CTFA, CATWS, and CACW, especially Civil War, and all you’re going to give them is four minutes of screen time together? Outta here with that. You dedicated an entire movie to Steve going to war for Bucky and y’all are gonna disrespect them like that? Even not shipping Stucky romantically, I can see the loving bond between the two of them that’s held up for 8 years. They deserved more than just a one-off line from CATFA, though that really set me off on another crying spree. I’m really not joking when I said there wasn’t a minute of that movie that I was dry-eyed.
Overall, I give this movie a 10/10. For what it was meant to be, it was everything I had expected and so much more. This movie made me roar with laughter, broke my heart more than once, and gave me an overall feeling of closure all at once. I am forever grateful to the cast, the crew, and the amazing characters created. The incredible late Stan Lee with his final cameo, to which the theater, again, erupted in applause. I’m just so overwhelmed by the work everyone at Marvel has put in to these characters and this world to give us these amazing stories. I’m tearing up as I write this because this is the end of an era for a lot of people who grew up with Iron Man, Hulk, Cap, Thor.... Black Widow. I just want to extend the biggest of thank yous to all of those people who made this world possible and brought so many people together.
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My Thoughts on Endgame
Major spoilers and a TL;DR on how it all collapsed under its own wibbly wobbly timey wimey logic
So, to start, it was fine.  Like, it was just fine.  There were parts I liked, parts I hated, parts I refuse to except as canon (and may not have to), and parts that just didn’t make any damn sense.
And at the bottom of it all, is how the movie was “a gift to the fans” and, while unspoken, a swan song.  The fan service was TOO heavy, and it really felt as though they thought of their fanservice moments, and then built the story around those, rather than building a story and finding fanservice moments to sneak in.
Ok, things I liked:
There were genuinely funny moments, most of which didn’t feel smushed in.  Nobody likes the stairs Hulk, and I’m glad that Steve has accepted that sometimes his Cap lines are a little Too Much.
While I hated the death, I do like that Tony Stark is literally the messiah of the universe.  He didn’t owe anybody anything anymore, but he still took the step and made the sacrifice to protect his wife and his reality and his children.  Plural.
I did like Tony being done, wanting out, yelling at the group.  He was at his end and couldn’t do it anymore, and while there are legit discussions to have about CW--I think they were both wrong in a way--but the fact is he was right about the greater threat and nobody believed him.
I can’t believe a dorky photo of Peter Parker looking like a fish and messing up bunny ears and Tony Stark not smiling saved the universe.
Tom Holland is gonna win an Oscar some day.  I knew what happened going in--I HATE not knowing--so while I got teary during several points, I started blubbering when he said, “we won, Mr. Stark.  Mr. Stark, we won.  You did it, sir.”
RDJ should win an Oscar for this.  There were moments that were OOC but he still put everything into it.  Him, Nat, and Peter were really the only ones I *felt* in this movie.  
Their reunion hug--Peter coming back and being Purely Peter, and Tony looking at him, like oh my god, he’s exactly the same and I can’t believe he’s rambling like this I missed him so much.”
“Activate Instant Kill!”  Oh, my sweet baby boy Peter.  You kept the gauntlet safer than longer than anyone.
Tony Stark has been my Pretend Superhero Dad since I first saw Iron Man in 2008 in a dollar theater while munching on a sneaked-in Whopper.  He is Iron Dad, both to Morgan and his Spider-son and he took an extra step, one he didn’t have to do, to make sure they both made it ok.
Also, and I love Carol, but Thanos yeeted her the fuck off the field with the power stone.  Tony Stark withstood the power stone using his nanotech shield on Titan.  Most Powerful Avenger.
Scott is a joy.  
Cap and Mjolnir was an okay scene I enjoyed, but it was a prime example of writing the story around fanservice.  Yeah, it was fun, but it was better to imagine he couldn’t fully lift it in AoU because he knew about Bucky and the Starks, so he wasn’t fully worthy.
Now, the things I *didn’t* like:
How did Carol find the Benetar?  And how did she get it back?!  Like, I know because she’s the embodiment of the Space Stone she technically has omnipresence and/or is capable of light speed, but does that extend to other objects?  Wouldn’t it have torn the Benetar apart?  
The time jump was *off.*  And I have a hard time believing Tony would have just moved on like that.  I think he would have tried, but it was too easy, considering.
The strange mismatch between desolation--NYC, arguably the most important city in the world, is a ghost town, while other places are fine?  More on infrastructure problems later.
Hulk dabbing.  Come on.  Was that a joke on Bruce being old and out of touch, or are people still dabbing in 2023?
Thor.  Oh Thor.  His PTSD was treated as a joke--save his convo with Frigga--and it sucked, especially since they did so well with Tony’s PTSD.  That’s the writers, who we all know have had their noses up Cap’s butt since forever.
The fact that it’s implied Pepper knew Tony wasn’t really happy when he went to talk to her about solving time travel.  That he wasn’t settled, that this still weighed on him, even when it was hopeless.  Why’d she let him build that life then?  
“You can rest now.”  Yeah, ok.  Suffer so much, finally get what you want in your grasp, then your reward is death.  See above.  It cheapens his sacrifice because it’s implied he was never fully immersed and happy with his life.
Nat got done dirty.  I wasn’t ok with it.  I know it was supposed to be the final, “erase the red in her ledger” moment but why?  Like Tony, she already had. 
The infrastructure issues.  The universe was halfed, then doubled, five years apart.  Even if we accept that all of Peter’s friends and Flash were snapped, still doesn’t fly.  See below for a possible out.
Cap.  Oh Cap.  My guy is dead but at least he’s The Hero.  But they ruined Cap’s character.  I don’t for a second believe he’d just sit and hide with Peggy.  And they discussed heavily what happens when you subtract something from a timeline, and the splits, but what happens when you ADD something?  I know the implication is that he was always Peggy’s husband, but it still doesn’t work, for the timelines stuff AND his character.  And who’d he steal the shield from?  He took something!  And I don’t for a single second believe he went to Vormir.  Nope.   This was Steggy fanfic.  And I don’t honestly care, but the fact is that he’s been working on moving FORWARD.  A man out of his time trying to find himself.  He literally took a step backwards.
Ok, adding on to that, the timey wimey nonsense.  The movie spent SO MUCH TIME explaining the logic of their own rules and then don’t follow them.  Here are some diagrams from my childhood bestie who gets time shit more than I do.
Apparently here is what they were trying.
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They seesaw back and forth, but in the end Timeline F is the same as Timeline A, or the one they started from.
BUT, here’s her diagram of what actually happened:
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It’s a big fat mess, and if the End Timeline is F, then the timeline where Tony snaps is D, and it got very confusing very fast.  She’s going to type it up for me, but apparently the last third of the movie can’t exist per their own logic, least of all the end, especially because we don’t know exactly what Tony wished for.  Was it the destruction of Thanos?  What happens when you add a past to a future then delete that past?  Where’s that timeline?  What happened with Steve’s stuff?  LOKI? A1 never ended because they literally took it. It’s not there anymore.  Steve stealing the Pym Particles?!  He took something and didn’t put it back. Another branch off.  Did Tony wish, “give me what I need to fix this?”  IF he did that, she posits, he smushed the timelines together to make everything coherent, AND potentially fix the infrastructure issues, so while A Tony’s BODY may have died, which Tony was it?  Did he have a moment in the soul stone, like Thanos?  Is that a requirement?  What did he do/say there?  (Also, just pointing out, never trust a funeral without a body, and the power of the Soul Stone is literally that no death is permanent.  That’s its canonical power!!)
There’s so much mess and I’ll have more when my friend sends along her stuff.  But I have NO problem deleting most of this from my mind, and I already have ideas to fix it, but I’ll leave those stories in the hands of people better able to tell them (I’m looking at you, @iron--spider) because I’m a dialogue bitch myself. 
I told @iron--spider last night I felt adrift, and typing this out I know why.  I’m not mourning, I’m not excited.  I’m devastated by Tony’s death but there’s so many logic holes my brain isn’t even struggling to see a way around it.  I’m livid about Steve, because he went backwards.  Thor’s trauma was played for laughs.  I have no satisfaction because of ALL THE HOLES, and because they literally wrote a story around fanservice--a huge amount of it their own--instead of writing the story and then adding fanservice to it.  
It was fine.  I’ll probably buy it when it’s released, but I don’t need to see it again.  And I’m curious about Far From Home because of the infrastructure but I don’t know if I’ll wait until it’s out on video just because I don’t have any urge to watch Peter Parker mourn another parent.
In the meantime, until the fix-its start rolling in, here’s a ready-made fix-it that Iron--spider wrote last year, to hold us through:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/15183011/chapters/35211239
It was fine.  And so full of holes it doesn’t even cement its own canon, despite what Disney officially decided to put on the big screen.  
“I recognize the council has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it.”
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lovedsammy · 5 years
Text
All right, ya’ll, I saw Endgame! Major spoilers will be under the cut so if you’re on mobile and it doesn’t work, SCROLL, SCROLL, SCROLL. Also, blacklist ‘a4 spoilers’ and ‘endgame spoilers’! 
Overall? I loved it. There are a few things that REALLY bothered me/disappointed me, which I’ll talk about. As a star rating, I’d say 9/10. 
First for the things that bothered me so I can get that out of the way... 
Complaints: 
- Thor & Loki: It’s no surprise to some of you that Loki is my favorite character (with Tony in 2nd place), and I adore the Thor & Loki bond. So I wasn’t happy at ALL that Loki remained dead, nor the fact that the Loki and Thor bond was completely erased/forgotten. Thor didn’t mention him ONCE, and instead focused only on the bond with his mother, which was, admittedly, beautiful. But the fact that he didn’t think of his deceased brother at all really felt like a disservice. I think it was supposed to be inferred that that what’s Thor’s so depressed about during the film, but it wasn’t TALKED about and instead was played for laughs. Thor’s PAIN was made to be humorous because he let himself go and had a beer belly. And yeah, I can see how at first that can be slightly funny, but it’s really not, if you think about it. Thor was so consumed by depression that all he did was drink himself almost to death. He was a wreck during the whole film and was made to look like a drunken idiot, except for the ending. Making him gain weight just to make him ‘funny’ also rubbed me the wrong way. Being ‘fat’ is nothing to be ashamed of, or funny. Thor’s characterization this movie was a big minus for me, which was disappointing. Him leaving at the end with the GotG made some sense, though, and I’m hoping this will lead him on a path to maybe trying to find Loki, in the past or otherwise. Quill trying to find past!Gamora... maybe it was a hint. 
- Going back to Loki, he showed up in flashbacks from Avengers 2012 which really made my heart swell. Him rolling his eyes at the Avengers, waving ‘bye bye’ to the Hulk sarcastically when he had to take the stairs, taking the opportunity to snatch the Tesseract, not once but twice, and disappearing to God knows where? LOVED IT. It was so nice to see him again, no matter in what capacity. Though I still wish he’d come back for real, ESPECIALLY in that battle at the end. It wouldn’t have taken much more screen time, honestly. They could’ve just shown him arriving with the others at the return, have him fight side by side with Thor, and address Thanos. Maybe hint at some possible control, imprisonment, torture from Thanos? It could’ve paved way for the Loki series. Although, I guess this 2012!Loki disappearing with the Tesseract can achieve that, too, but it would erase all of the development Loki has achieved, and I loved the development. I loved his path to redemption. If they do this, I want a redeemed!Loki, who has a place among the Avengers, not a villain again. 
- Gamora not coming back. I mean, I loved seeing her as her past self, but again... she died by being killed by her abusive father. It leaves a bad taste. 
All right, on to everything else! 
Things that I loved: 
- Nebula and Tony’s friendship! I loved their dynamic a lot. Nebula taking care of Tony, and sitting him upright? My heart. <333
- Tony’s reunion with Steve. Omg their dynamic was FANTASTIC this movie. No leftover resentment from Civil War. It really made me love their friendship that much more. 
- Tony’s reunion with Pepper!
- “I lost the kid. I lost the kid.” The first part I got choked up, of many. 
- omg Scott coming home to see 5 years have passed and his daughter is a teen? omg I couldn’t even handle that. I loved older Cassie, though! 
- THOR GETTING TO KILL THANOS FOR REAL. OMG I CHEERED. It didn’t help his vendetta, though, and once the revenge was complete, he had nothing left, which makes sense. His hate for Thanos was what drove him in Infinity War. He fell into a huge depression once that was taken from him. And why I wish, again, that this hadn’t been used for laughs!
- TONY AND HIS DAUGHTER!!! omg dad!tony was the CUTEST AND SO WAS MORGAN. Tony’s my 2nd fave character in the mcu, so seeing him happy, living life with his wife and daughter? perfection. The “shit” scene was both hilarious and sweet. “Go to bed or I’ll sell or all your toys” and Morgan laughing because she knows he won’t. <3333333333 
- “I love you 3000″
- Clint and his family!
- Natasha saying that her family is the Avengers. 
- the time travel was well utilized, even if it makes my head spin a little. XD 
- LOKI LOKI LOKI 
- “that is america’s ass” lmao
- steve saying ‘hail hydra’ and it WORKING
- tony and steve just KNOWING how each other thinks and using that to formulate the same plan, of going back to grab the tesseract? genius! 
- There was so much foreshadowing in this movie at the beginning and middle of how this was going to end. Tony was unwilling to help at first because he didn’t want to lose what he had gained, and Steve kept saying he was over Peggy but by looking at her in the past, it was clear that he wasn’t, and that was where he wanted to go. I’ll touch on both those things more later.
- Tony getting to talk to his father, and finally come to terms with that relationship, and understanding/loving him... ow my heart. That hug was amazing. 
- Thor getting to talk with his mother, getting that closure as well. This movie centered a lot on family. 
- Clint willing to die to get the soul stone, but Natasha also willing to, and fighting over it, who had the strongest will to sacrifice themselves for everyone else. Their dynamic is also one of my favorites, and even though Clint is happily married with a family, part of me still ships them, and I loved those final moments together. 
-”Let me go. It’s okay.” Natasha’s death was one of the first scenes that got me outright bawling. I adored her, and her death hit me hard because I was NOT expecting it. And for her to die as she did, willingly, with no restraint.... she wiped the red out of her ledger for sure. :( R.I.P Natasha. I’m so sad that they couldn’t even get her body to give her a proper burial. And everyone’s reactions after... devastating. 
- I didn’t think Bruce using the Gauntlet was going to work at first. But once Clint’s phone started ringing, I breathed a sigh of relief and just waited. Then past!Nebula had to ruin everything by getting Thanos to blow up the Avengers HQ.
- Touching on this, btw: Thanos really is the Avengers strongest opponent. He was too clever using the two Nebulas (UGH) as he did, and he almost won again without even breaking a sweat. 
- The. entire. fight. Literally, all of it. Thor using both of his weapons, Tony and Steve giving it their all... omg. 
- The second Steve used Mjolnir, my entire theater screamed, and same, tbh. Thor’s “I KNEW IT!!” was everyone. It was nice continuity with AoU when Thor’s expression hinted that Cap was worthy. YES. 
- It took me a minute to realize that Sam was back, and when it did, I sat there going “IS IT REALLY IS IT REALLY IST THIS HAPPENING OH SHIT”
- AND IT DID!
- Everyone coming out of that portal, focusing on each of them. Omg the theater erupted. 
- “AVENGERS.... assemble.” cHILLS 
- WANDA GETTING BACK AT THANOS’S CRAZY ASS, HELL YES! “I don’t even know who you are.” “You will.” YES, QUEEN. 
- THE WOMEN TEAMING UP!
- Tony and Peter. The hug! The shock from Tony that this boy that he looks at as his own son, the relief that he’s alive, okay.. hi i’m crying again. 
- The second Stephen raised that single finger, and Tony knew what it meant. And we all knew what it meant... 
- “I am inevitable.”  “I am... Iron... man.” 
- Tony’s death hit me like a ton of bricks, and I was sobbing before he’d even collapsed to the floor. Watching the color drain from his face, and his body become so badly damaged.... I knew it was over for him. 
- “We won, Mr. Stark. Come on, you did it, sir, you did. I’m sorry, Tony.” I CANT EVEN HANDLE THIS. PETER DIED IN FRONT OF TONY, AND NOW TONY DIES IN FRONT OF HIM. This surrogate father/son duo hurts me and I feel so much. 
- PEPPER AND TONY. THEY DESERVED BETTER, DAMN IT. THEY DESERVED TO BE HAPPY AND TONY DESERVED TO WATCH HIS DAUGHTER GROW UP. ;A; “We’re going to be okay. You can rest now.” Rip out my heart. Just rip it out. 
- As painful as Tony’s death was, it also felt.... perfect, in ways. He gave up his chance to keep things as they were to save everyone else. He did tHAT. He gave everyone else their families back. He died a hero, a true hero. I feel more at ease with Tony’s death, despite how unfair it was, because unlike Loki, Tony had achieved everything he meant to. He had a little girl who he loved so much and was an amazing father to. He had a son, who he taught to be a hero, too. He had a wife who will go on to keep Stark Enterprises alive. They’re Tony’s legacy. 
- The funeral was SO heartbreaking, I was a crying mess. Happy and Morgan... :( </3
- ok so I’m 50/50 on Steve’s ending. He goes to return the stones to their proper time, and then stays behind to have a life with Peggy. Which, I mean... I’m not opposed to, and I think Steve deserves his happy ending too, but... it also hurt because not only was he leaving Bucky behind, he also left his friends behind. Friends that were already hurting from losing Natasha and Tony. And then to leave them like he did.... it felt... I don’t know, not wrong, but insensitive, considering what had just happened. Everyone had lost enough, and then they had to lose Steve, too. Although, I see his frame of mind. He’d lost so much as well. He wanted to have something for once, something happy, and he took it. I can’t blame him for that. I just wish his timing had been better. 
-Bucky just knew that Steve wasn’t coming back as himself. He knows him so well. And his nod at Sam to let him take up the mantle... I knew it was going to happen, but I thought it’d be different. I’m fine with this, though. Steve’s retired. He can rest now. 
- Tony’s voice over at the end was beautiful and perfect. That is all. 
I loved this movie a lot, and can’t wait to see it again eventually! I had complaints and things I wish they’d done/fixed, but overall, the good outweighed the bad. 
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xihaveaplanxx · 3 years
Text
A Possible Acceptance (Short Story)
“This is 100 dollars. What were you doing in Saint Denis?” Arthur asked as he watched Dreama put her money in the box for the camp. “That’s an awful lot to do there.”
“Oh, Mr. Morgan she robbed a whole stagecoach and flirted with the man driving it. He was none the wiser. I just had to make sure to break the lock and she did the rest. Was talking to him as she was taking his stuff.” Kieran answered.  “We went to the theater after so...we did spend some of it...”
“Okay.” Arthur said proud she was sharing some of the money she got. She was so much like Dutch. Could talk someone out of their prized possessions with ease. Must fluster her she can’t talk Dutch into being hers. The main problem here.  “Well, Dreama, Hosea said he was looking to talk to you about something. Got some ideas or something.”  Arthur felt bad for lying to her but ... she needed him to talk to her because she was out of line. “He’s in the tent.”
“Oh, alright. I do want to play one round of poker though. I promised Kieran I'd help him win. Tired of the others taking his money because he don’t know how to play. He didn’t say it was important did he?”
“Well I...I’m sure it can wait. Just make sure to talk to him.”
“I will. As if I’d forget to talk to Hosea. He’s my favorite.”
“I know, just reminding you.”
“Thanks Arthur. You know one of these days, you should come with me to the theater. You’d like the snake dancer.”
“Snake dancer?”
“Among other things.” Kieran said. “I’ll meet you at the poker table.” He told Dreama as he walked off and she nodded her head towards Arthur before following over to him. He didn’t even know Dreama knew how to play poker. He doubted she did. If he was playing with Javier chances are she’d just flirt with him so he’d forget what he’s doing and take his money. He’s seen her do it before. She was super fond of Kieran though he noticed. She took him in as her own almost. She thought he was adorable, not in the Dutch way but in the .... John way. He always found it odd she found John so cute when he looked like a rat to him but then again, she had a thing for Dutch. Her eyesight and her brain weren’t working the best....and it showed.
Later that night
“Oh, I was thinking I wouldn’t be awake to tell you goodnight.” Hosea said noting Dreama had just come in the tent. She had Javier’s hat and his favorite knife. He could only imagine she won it in poker and not by playing it, but by talking to him and fluttering those eyelashes and telling him sweet things and taking it from under his nose. Javier liked her a whole lot. She just liked his stuff it seemed. The poor fool. 
“I was playing poker. Well helping Kieran. He finally won. I’m proud of him.”
“Well good for him.” Hosea smiled at her. “Those Javier’s things?”
“Yes. He gave me his hat and his knife after I asked nicely.”
“You know how I feel about you flirting to get stuff from him. He likes you so much. Don’t string him along.”
“It’s not stringing along. He just...isn’t the smartest. He is very cute though. Sings me such lovely songs.”
“Oh dear.” Hosea shook his head as she placed the stuff on the stand next to the cot on her side of the tent. “Dreama, we need to talk.”
“Oh? About what?” She asked, looking at him as she sat down on her cot. “A plan?”
“No...well... I won’t mince words. It's about your feelings for Dutch and how you treat others because of it. I heard what happened with Molly and the deal you made and you hurting Dutch. I tried my best to pretend it wasn’t really happening. That everything I heard wasn’t true and it hurt t o find out you wanted Micah to murder Molly because of your emotions. I’m....disappointed you are like this. I get it. You like Dutch a whole lot. He is a bit like you so I guess I get it but....how you are going on about it....makes me upset.”
“Hosea...”
“Makes me think maybe we should cut you loose. You are a danger now.”
“No..Hosea...please.” She looked at him, pleading. “I won’t have anywhere to go.”
“I know but you are threatening others and you’ve harmed him many times. That isn’t okay. I didn’t even believe him. I thought he was being dramatic but he showed me the rope burns on his back. Why would you do that to him? I know, but I want you to tell me your side.”
“You don’t understand. I...really really like him, Hosea. You don’t understand. Seeing him dance with Molly hurt me so bad. I wanted to ask him to dance with me but I was shy but I finally got the courage....”
“She’s his girlfriend.”
“I know and I hate it. She’s not even that great. She’s useless. She just complains and bitches and puts make up on. She never brings any money. Most of the women here are useless save for a few. Without Ms Grimshaw and a few of the others, we’d be in deeper shit than we are in.”
“You are speaking out of pure jealousy.”
“I know but I really like him, Hosea. So much so. Like he’s so....interesting. It’s like I wanna kiss him and I wanna punch him in the face.”
“Dreama....”
“I....don’t understand. I usually don’t like anyone that much but he’s...different.”
“But he’s got a girlfriend.” Hosea told her. “And you’ve harmed him and planned to get her killed. That’s two bad things. It can’t go unpunished. It just can’t. We won’t throw you out, no but I think you need to spend some time with Arthur. He will watch over you when you go out and stay with you. I know you like traveling alone but....you just can’t be trusted.”
“I.....fine.”
“I’m sorry. I thought we’d toss you out but Dutch don't want that. I just...please be better.”
“I will be, Hosea. I just...really like him...alot.”
“I know but ..... you’ll get over it. I hope at least. There are other horses at the stable or something you kids say.”
“You mean fish in the sea, Hosea?”
“Yes, that too.” He chuckled. “Just...be better. No more talking to Micah either. Knowing you even spoke to him and gave him  your money....I .....”
“It wasn’t my smartest moment.”
“No, Dreama...it certainly wasn't.”
“I....I just hope I can get over Dutch. He seems so interesting. I don’t know why. I told Lenny once that maybe it was just his fat ass but it’s not that.’
“His what now?” Hosea arched an eyebrow wishing he didn’t hear that. He often told her she could tell him anything but this.....he didn’t want to hear that. “Dreama.....”
“He has a very nice ass. You ever seen him bathe in the lake?”
“NO.”
“Well, you are missing out.”
“And you need to stay away from the lake.” Hosea told her. “I think it’s a good time to turn in. Don’t know how I’m going to sleep with this new information.”
“Just don’t think about it, Hosea.”
“I could say the same to you.”
0 notes
nothingsolutions · 3 years
Text
Machai /1100 ./
mans eating ice cream
Something that felt like deja vu: moving to la (y) always thought I would move here. Felt like where I was supposed to b.
describe something ur working on in 4 words without telling me what it is: a beautiful fucking thing
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was it worth it? Absolutely (Y tho) cause I’d b dead without it
something overrated that’s actually underrated: LA 
last text u sent: photo of a weed plant I’m growing
/I found a seed in the weed and put it in dirt and its growing now
//Machai got a green thumb 
favorite childhood vacation memory: went to an all inclusive in Jamaica and got my own hotel room separate from my parents. The fridge was stocked with beer and I got drunk asl. I got hella food at the buffet and bought weed from guy from the beach. I was 13 or 14. 
/Parents there for a medical conference 
//best vacation ever
///dance party on the beach and every1 was there getting turnt
how many missed texts: 13. I check my message cause hate notifications. I hate 2 sit there n think about a response. I sit on the text back
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do u have a bedframe? Yea 
preferred mode of travel: (if car r u driving?) prob... damn this a fye question ngl. fuck. it’s a tie bro. heavy tie between boats and being in the back of a big ass car.
Not a fan on limos tho. Big body uber could b in that bitch 4 the rest of my life. When I’m famous I b pulling up in 17 Escalades.
ima get an uber juss for my backpack when im famous
Fav song when u were 12: day n nite. would listen when I would skate.
New Cudi is so fye I was juss listening
Ski mask? The one u wear ?
Butterfly: effect 
1100: a belief system (a cult ?) It could b but it not yet. nah im playing it a belief system for believing in yourself. 11 is an angelic # for divine intervention. I hope all that is Devine comes to u with speed
Trees or street lights: it literally depends on the mood but rt now trees
goes back home to Redding every once and a while to chill out. 1 - 2 weeks max b4 getting back to the city.
nickname: bear. looked like a bear when younger
Thoughts on google drive: it cool. more a WeTransfer guy. WeTransfer beats > google drive beats
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Will the revolution be televised: it will 100,000% def it already is 
Teleport anywhere rt now: Charli D'Amelio house and asking her 2 make a tiktok wit me
If u could b an animal: lesiure or fav?? (idk like a party trick) penguin def ong. snap my fingers n turn into penguin. that legendary. 
Fav grade of skool: 8th grade cause could do whatever. I would tell my teachers im leaving n would go 2 the movie theater and dollar store next 2 school. that entire year never went to school
Shoutout Mr. Froom n Mr. Kelly They the realest teachers
How many racks is 2 many racks: none. no such thing. actually no no no a pocket full. no actually once ur 4pf then u good
Most important part of a fit: how u put it together. If u can put it together right and believe in urself, shit a dub
Was it logical? No absolutely not (expand). Nah
U going 2 mars I got a ticket: yes repopulating all of mars errr1 gotta b lit tho 
Thing ur taking from ur room if fire: jewelry box fs n my stuffed animals 
I got this Dino skeleton stuffed animal in Seattle. that it.
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Person u look up 2: young thug
Brand loyal? Yea Rick Owens. I wanna get every color.
New Years resolution: make more $
Gas station order: 2 packs of dutch, 2 naked strawberry banana, sweet tart ropes, Stacys garlic and herbs chips and a cool toy “preferably sticky hands” 
Promo: this is a paid promotion by a n**ga who legit dont give a fuck at all
Ion kno how 2 say this shit
Instagram clothes 
“1700 on a fit aint shit” -whosaidthat? I dont know. I genuintly dont know
I should call my mom
Teeth whitening kit
Some waters taste better than other waters
Anything u gotta tell the ppl: wash your face
0 notes
poisxnyouth · 6 years
Text
letter 2 myself
Part of me believes I will never truly part with so many things. And sometimes everything hurts, not necessarily in a bad way, though. I feel myself drift sometimes but I always come back to the reality that I control everything I do or have done. I always have the power to say no. I really dissociate a lot and that may be unhealthy but it’s also gratifying. I find myself in so many things and I feel like I'm able to appreciate those things even more because of that. 
May 9th of last year I truly wanted to die. I was going to do it. Someone still very important to me talked me out of it, thank God, but it was so hard for me to move on after that. I made a pact with myself after that where since I was going to be going on a big road trip out west (I'm from Florida) and seeing the Grand Canyon and whatnot, I figured I would have seen everything I needed to, and if I was still unhappy with life after that, I'd officially end it. I fucking hate every ounce of having to admit that. it still hurts to think about it. I still can’t really admit to myself that I like living, but I know that I need to go on, that I can change something, and I feel like that’s improvement in itself. I still feel that way sometimes, but I always try to tell myself that I need to be the person I thought that I'd be when I was a little 3rd grader in Mrs. Garland’s class named Hailey. I had such high hopes for myself. 
When I was little, I didn’t know what I wanted and I still don’t. In 3rd grade, I was in a musical for Aladdin; in 4th grade, it was something called Toy Camp; in 5th grade it was Jack & the Beanstalk. During this time, minus 3rd grade, I was in chorus and it was everything I'd hoped for. I always wanted to be involved in music, always, always, always. In 6th grade I wasn’t in band at all. in 7th, after a huge argument and trying to tell them that I thought I was depressed (they didn't take it seriously) I joined! I started on clarinet and I was really good at it. In 8th grade I was in the symphonic band and it felt like no one liked me and unfortunately that feeling lasted into freshman year. Except for one guy during band camp, but he’s kind of irrelevant even though he fucking broke my heart twice but that’s besides the point (also besides the point: I know I'd still absolutely get back with him and drop everything for him which is also so so sad) um, my grades started to go to shit but they were enough. So, this year, I was a sophomore and I can say I got better, gladly. I've been clean since last May 9th of 2017. Marching season was amazing and I've honestly never felt so close to the people around me. My grades are still fucking ass and I honestly don’t know if I passed sophomore year, but I'm gonna do summer school to make up the credits nonetheless. 
I can’t believe I fucking did it. One year clean! This is the most I've ever been and I have so much love in my heart right now for everything and everyone around me. I know everything will be okay. The world won’t come crashing down if I fucking stutter when I speak. I will be okay. the world will keep spinning and I have trust in that. I have trust in my peers and my family and my teachers. The world isn’t that good right now but I will always hold onto band as something sacred in my life. My guidance counselor was almost disappointed in me when I was explaining how much band meant to me. I always thought I wanted to go into music and while I'm second guessing that now, it doesn’t mean it‘s on the backburner. It probably shouldn’t be, but school is. Band impacts me mentally and socially so much more than SCHOOL does.Band has taught me how to be compassionate and trusting and it means so much to me and I really genuinely do not know how other people do not see that.
Life is so much better now. I will carry the scars on my left arm happily and shamelessly and I know I have it better than a lot of people. I tried to find God this year and I’ve been skeptical the whole time but I can truly say I've never felt him inside of me more than I do now. We are all tiny specks but I have so much love for so many people and things and I will live to see the light of day until I die and I will live to go to the Louvre and Musée d'Orsay and Monet's home in Giverny and fucking travel. I will do it. Everything will be okay. I am the only person truly with me for the rest of my life. I'm alive and breathing and crying and my heart’s beating and I have feelings for people and I think people are attractive and I love celebrities and I'm bisexual and I'm from Orlando and I love Savannah, Georgia and I love bookstores and I love Call Me By Your Name and Alien and Fall Out Boy and art and music and watching people act and I love fashion BECAUSE I CAN. I have been looking for the negatives. It’s time to start looking for the positives. It’s time to start looking for the positives in even though I've been standing in set for 5 minutes straight in silence and my arms are giving out and my feet hurt and even though I've been working for 5 hours and my eyes burn from looking at the computer screen forever there’s always a positive. 
Someone makes my heart happy. A few people do. And I will never have them. That‘s okay. I can still love them but let them go. I can still love their laugh, or their walk, or their style, or their smile, I can still love their hands. I can still miss the way it felt hugging them or pressed up against them when they ran their hand down my hair in the movie theater that one time. I can still feel their touch on my skin and how much freedom I felt when I was in good standing with them. I feel the same freedom letting them go. It hurts I never got to kiss them and saw them kiss someone else or pine after someone else every day. But I'm okay with it, because I remember when I'd hug them and I felt their heart go a million miles an hour because I was so close to them. I miss making them feel that way and while I hate seeing someone else do what I couldn’t, I'll be able to do it again with someone else someday. 
I will find peace and happiness and love with someone else through time. I have to pay my dues for that. I will settle down and I will find out what I love or what the content of love is through time. I may finish school when I'm 50, but that’s okay. I have one life to live and I'll be damned if I live it in nothing but peace and love and happiness and everything I dreamed about when I was little. I'm going to do what I have to, finish school, graduate, join the navy after I graduate, get out when I'm 21 and go from there. I can’t do this by myself. but it’s only me who can decide what I do and who I listen to and what rules I follow and it’s only me who can motivate myself. I'll be able to go to France and become fluent in French and I'll learn about psychology and I won’t fuck with those bullshit AP classes and I may have to do the bare minimum to graduate but I don’t have to go to fucking Harvard or Yale to get a good education. It’s not about that. I will learn everything as I go. There’s always going to be more negatives than positives but the positives make everything SO GOOD. I just have to do this and cherish the life I was given and the moments and seconds and relationships i’m given with people. I don’t fully love myself yet but i’m getting there. I have so much love to share, the love I was missing out on during middle school and these past 2 years of high school. 
I'm working on it. You should too. Believe in yourself. We are eternal.
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pika-ace · 6 years
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BMC Pokemon Teams
OKAY! This took longer than it should have but these guys were surprisingly harder to think of stuff for...maybe cause I haven’t listened to BMC in forever. Anyway, here’s what I have for everyone’s teams, feel free to make suggestions if you think a certain Pokemon absolutely MUST belong with someone.
(Also I’m just doing the Squip-Squad as of right now. I’ll see if I wanna make teams for Mr. Heere and Mr. Reyes later on)
Jeremy - Minun: This is mostly due to color scheme, a parallel with Michael, and because of a fanart I saw a long time ago and can’t find now for some reason. So yeah, Plusle and Minun are basically the BFF Pokemon duo, so of course Jeremy needs one of these while Michael gets the other.
Pikachu (Squip): Mostly because Jeremy’s the main character and Pikachu has practically become the main character of its own franchise, sooooo. Also, in this AU, Pokemon Squips aren’t as bad as the ones in the musical, meaning they aren’t abusive or degrading as much. At the end of the day, they’re still Pokemon, capable of forming bonds with their owners. So yeah, Jeremy and his Squip end up hating one another at first, but maybe after some life-or-death situations that seem to come with Pokemon (at least according to the anime), I think they would become pretty good buddies.
Mudkip/Swampert: Out of all the starters, the Mudkip line was the only one to me that seemed close to Jeremy. It looks all dorky and lame, and as it grows it doesn’t seem much better, but then it becomes a powerhouse (Insert metaphor for Jeremy’s growth here). 
Eevee/Vaporeon: Gonna say this now, but EVERYONE in the Squip Squad is getting an Eeveelution. There are eight evolutions, the squad has eight members, so it was too perfect to NOT pass up. And it’s also symbolic of how they’re all connected after the whole Squip fiasco. But anyway, Jeremy gets Vaporeon, mostly for its ability to blend into the water. Jeremy is ‘the one who’s left out’, meaning he probably feels invisible compared to everyone else. 
Dunsparce: Part of the problem with deciding Jeremy’s team was just how...plain he was. So I tapped into that after racking my brain for Pokemon for him, and settled on the most basic and semi-sad Pokemon I could find. Jeremy would sympathize with this thing, let’s be real. Also, if Dunsparce gets scared, it drills a hole to escape; sound familiar? [Christine: Did you say something? Jeremy: I...uh...*books it*]
Exeggcute/Exeggutor (Alolan Form): Mostly because, I wanted Jeremy to have at least ONE tall Pokemon to reference the ‘Tall-ass’ insult XD I wanted to find a Pokemon that kinda represented that he’s Jewish but that failed miserably (Chandelure was the closest kinda representing a menorah, but it eats souls, and I didn’t want that representing a holiday if you know what ‘m saying)
Michael - Plusle: Not much to say that was already said above. It’s part of the Two Player thing Jeremy and Michael have going. Can’t have one without the other.
Rotom: Michael has a bit of a tech theme going with him, so Rotom was a pretty good choice for him. I don’t give people legendaries, but honestly, there are more than one Rotom in the world, so it’s not exactly legendary (it’s semi-legendary). Also, I feel like Michael would let his Rotom possess his gaming system to see what kind of stuff would happen in the game, and maybe possess his other stuff to help with chores. (Plus, Rotom Wash is pretty OP)
Porygon/Porygon Z: Another one for Michael’s tech side, but this time a bit more prominent. The Porygon line is known for being able to travel through cyberspace and actual space. I think Michael would love that honestly. And it could serve as a way for Michael to find out about Squips. Sending his Pokemon out to search all of cyberspace for some kind of answer. 
Tepig/Emboar: I just realize that Jeremy and Michael’s starters match their color scheme too XD. Anyway, Emboar was a good choice because it’s loyal to its friends and is a capable fighter, something that Michael I don’t think is very good at. Also I can just easily imagine Michael chilling with a cute little Tepig in his arms, can’t you? X3
Comfey: This one just wouldn’t leave my head. It’s a fav in Alola because of how relaxing it makes one feel and...I don’t know...I just think Michael would wear this guy while he’s getting stoned in his basement. Relaxation to the MAX.
Eevee/Leafeon: Doesn’t seem like it fits, but it actually does. Leafeon’s don’t like getting involved in disputes, representing Michael kind of being in his own little world and not dealing with the problems around him, and Leafeon’s are also loyal and WILL fight back if its friends are threatened. 
Christine - Mime Jr: This is probably the only Pokemon who is capable of being as quirky as Christine is, since it would mimic everything she does. It’s actually fitting for an actress like her; maybe she uses her Mime Jr to remember her past performances so she can observe them and see if she can change anything to spice it up (OH! I just used knowledge from college theater lessons!! Woot!)
Caterpie/Butterfree: Butterfree is just the Pokemon you picture when you think of a cute but still pretty person. Christine is that person. Butterfree’s are just so pure and good, it’s just too perfect. Peas in a pod. That’s all I can say. 
Popplio/Primarina: No other starter is a performer sooooo yeah. Also, just looking at the Popplio line, they are all just so ridiculously happy all the time that I think Christine would get along with them AMAZINGLY well. Plus she doesn’t need to take voice lessons, she has an opera singer Pokemon!
Eevee/Sylveon: Out of all the Eeveelutions, this one fit Christine pretty well. It’s one of the few that evolve with friendship, and Sylveon is just naturally pleasant, like Christine is. Also I think it’d be cool if she had a shiny one, meaning it’s blue and white instead of pink and white. Kinda hammer in how special she is, you know?
Togedemaru (Squip): This was cute to think about, cause when it’s mad, it makes its spikes all go out at the same time, like ‘pop!’ It kinda reminds me of Christine when she has her ‘Blegh!’ moments. 
Drampa: I originally wanted to give this one to Jeremy cause of how nice it is, but then I read the Pokedex entry that if the one it likes is bullied, it will go to said bully’s house and burn it to the ground. If Jeremy had this thing, the whole school would probably go down as if J.D’s bombs actually went off XD
Rich - Elekid (Squip): This was one I could just picture, I think mostly thanks to the anime. Paul’s Elekid was a tiny little bully in the Sinnoh saga that could also pack a punch, so I could see Rich having the same one. I’m not sure if Squip Pokemon should be able to evolve or not since they’ve been altered quite a bit, but they’re still strong regardless. 
Rattata/Raticate (Kanto form): Kind of a jab at how small he is and also it kinda fits Rich’s whole aesthetic, you know? Plus, Raticate’s are fucking OP
Mankey/Primeape: I feel like Primeape represent Rich’s soul in every sense of the words. Tiny but has the capability of going ape-shit if something goes wrong. It’s perfect XD
Litten/Incineroar: Out of all the fire/fighting starters, this one fit Rich. At first I thought of Feraligatr, but then I found out from the Dex that Incineroar’s are selfish, violent, and love to fight. I don’t think we need anymore evidence for that. 
Eevee/Umbreon: It was a tie between this and Flareon but honestly...Umbreon fits a bit better. Mostly because the Dex says that when it’s threatened, it sprays poison from its fur. Maybe that’s what caused the fire to start?? Poor thing probably started freaking out when Rich started freaking out.  
Cottonee/Whimsicott: This one’s a long shot, but it hearkens back to Rich’s mischievous/bully side. It’s said that Whimsicott float on the wind and if they land on a person’s window, they enter the house, pull a few tricks and then leave. Also, Rich needs SOMETHING supper fluffy to cuddle when he’s all bandaged up in the hospital. 
Jake - Nidoran/Nidoking: This guy was one of the heaviest hitters back in the early days, and you could say it still is. With Jake being as popular as he is, this is kinda fitting that he has a Pokemon with King in its name.  
Charizard: Honestly, with how amazingly (and kinda unrealistically) cool Jake is, I think he would be expected to have one of the most popular starters of all time. However, he chose Charmander because he thought it was cool AND cute looking, not because everyone says Charizard is the best. They have a strong bond, those two. 
Electrike (Squip): This one, not just because it’s cool looking, matching Jake’s aesthetic, but also because it’s super fast. Eletrike’s muscles respond to electricity and it stimulates them to heighten reaction speed, so it would be good for a Sport Fanatic like Jake is. And I’m sure Jake’s squip would push him to be the same all-around athlete he was trying to be. 
Eevee/Flareon: It was one of the few ones left when I was assigning Eeveelutions to everyone so we gotta deal with it. But hey, Flareon does match with Jake’s kinda red color scheme. Plus he would probably use his Flareon as a guide to navigate his burning house when trying to get out. 
Starly/Staraptor: This one is more a reference to how lonely I think Jake actually is since his parents are gone. The Dex says that when Starly’s evolve into Staraptor, they leave the flock to live on their own. Jake is like that, only it happened early. 
Tyrunt/Tyrantrum: Another reference to the King of the School. According to the Dex, this thing was pretty entitled since nothing could stand in its way way back in prehistoric times. I like to think that Jake would train it to be a bit more humble and gentle though, cause Jake’s not just a mindless jock. 
Brook - Purrloin/Liepard: This is mostly to be a parallel to Chloe, only maybe without Purrloin’s whole devious side. Purrloin’s Pokedex says that it acts cute as a ruse and then attacks from there. That’s KINDA fitting though since Brook thought that Madeline’s deliberate pool loss to get Jake was awesome. Plus, despite already being pretty she seems to have that complex where ‘I must be cute no matter what!!’ So I think these two would get along pretty well and maybe teach one another a thing or two.
Torchic/Blaziken: Mostly because I feel like, when given the choice, Brook would choose the adorable little fire chick. Plus, Brook having a badass kung-fu fighting chicken is pretty awesome to think about X3
Stufful: I’m on the fence about it evolving, mostly because Bewear is fucking terrifying (ESPECIALLY after you read its Pokedex entry) and I think Brook would like to have a cute little stuffed animal Pokemon. Probably a good source of comfort after that whole fiasco at the Halloween Party. 
Pachirisu (Squip): Again, I think Brook would want one of the cute Squips, and Pachirisu IS cute. Plus it’s actually kinda fitting that a Pachirisu is a Squip cause the Pokedex states that they’re sometimes found sharing electricity through one another, like how Squips share information about social rules. 
Eevee/Glaceon: I mostly wanted to give Brook one of the pretty Eeveelutions mostly to help feed into Chloe’s secret jealousy of her. And I also like to think that her Glaceon is kinda protective of Brook, as it could easily use icicles to fuck someone up if they messed with her (watch out, Jeremy)
Petilil/Lilligant: This one is more of a symbol of Brook wanting to sleep with someone (at least it’s kinda implied in the musical; honestly, looking back, everyone wants to tap SOMETHING, whether stated or not. Glad my high school didn’t run on that hierarchy...) not only does Lilligant kinda look like Brook herself (at least to me) and one of its Dex entries states that when it finds a mate, the flower on its head will wither. I like to think of Brook as a pretty flower, and after the whole fiasco she learns that finding a BF isn’t all she needs to pursue in life. 
Chloe - Nidoran/Nidoqueen: This is a big parallel with Jake, since they dated before, and I THINK are back together when everything else is said and done. Unless something happened between ‘Halloween’ and ‘The Play’. But this is probably how they met; their Nidorans were naturally drawn to one another and bam! Oh, and also I guess there’s the whole Queen thing to Jake’s King, but eh, I ship RichJake, so whatever.
Meowth/Persian: I think we all share the headcanon that Chloe is pretty rich, and rich people tend to have the fancy cat Pokemon that has a move that can make money appear (Pay Day). 
Rowlet/Decidueye: This was a hard one but it was mostly for Rowlet’s second form, Dartrix. The thing is very picky and dandy, almost like a spoiled kid. I think Chloe would probably get along with it very well, being pampered by their riches and then having to leave it behind and actually make friends. I dunno; makes sense to me. 
Finneon/Lumineon: This one is more symbolic to Chloe being one of the prettiest girls in school. Lots of boys are drawn to her, which is something Lumineon does. It uses it’s bright lights to lure in prey, but has to be careful cause it can also lure in predators. Do with that what you will. 
Eevee/Jolteon: It’s not the pretty Eeveelution, but the Pokedex entry states that due to its spiky fur AND attitude, it’s hard to get close to. I think that represents how hard I think it would be in real like to get close to Chloe pre-musical, unless you become a follower like Brook. I don’t think Chloe’s the kind of person who would share her emotions easily. 
Emolga (Squip): This Squip fits her because Emolga are freaking greedy little bastards. They almost never share their food, so I think it would be a good parallel/reflection of Chloe and her being jealous and selfish during the story. Luckily, by the end, they both improve their attitudes greatly (and plus...Emolga’s and Pachirisu’s are compatible breeding partners...I’ll just leave that there)
Jenna - Chatot: If ‘gossip’ is part of your character, you’re pretty much guaranteed a Chatot on your team XD Jenna probably sends that thing around the school to relay stories; how else would she know about Jake and Madeline?
Fenniken/Delphox: At first I thought this fit Chloe or Brook’s overall aesthetic, but then I read the Pokedex entry saying that Delphox can use its Psychic powers to see into the future, which I could see as pretty perfect for Jenna. Also pretty helpful for when the fire rolled around. Rich and Jake were the only ones hurt, so maybe Jenna’s Delphox predicted it and she was able to get everyone out in time. Pretty cool food for thought. 
Glameow/Purugly: I don’t really know for this one. It just seemed fitting and I really don’t know why. But then again, Purugly’s are very fierce when they want to be, and I think Jenna can be too, if how she acted while Squipped is anything to go by. I think she can be pretty tough if she wants to be. 
Eevee/Espeon: Like Delphox, the whole sense the future thing, or in this case, predicting moves. ‘I know what everyone’s doing, ALL THE TIME!’ (Being a gossiper doesn’t always relate back to talking and mimicking X3)
Dedenne (Squip): Again for being one of the leads in smartphone hour, Dedenne are known for long distance communications with their whiskers. I know Jenna didn’t get Squipped until AFTER the fire, but imagine how fast the word would’ve spread if she had one before hand. 
Mimikyu: I’m sure there are some who think that Mimikyu is good for Jeremy as well, and I don’t disagree, but honestly, with the whole disguise thing, it fits Jenna too. She acts like she’s carefree most of the time, but in reality she’s actually really lonely. Remember how she came moping to Jeremy how no one cares about her problems despite her knowing about everyone else’s? I think Mimikyu is symbolic of her in more ways than one.
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astro-b-o-y-d · 7 years
Text
The Long Road Home Pt. 2
The next three chapters of SOSO are finally here! Author’s notes and additional fic warnings are on Ao3. And trust me, you’ll want to read them.
[Read on Ao3]
"I cannot believe how many people said they'd be attending today."
"It's like you said," Neil said from one of the other tables. "David couldn't be the only kid who actually liked the camp."
"Yeah, but I didn't expect our group to actually be the odd ones out of the batch, and for nearly every other person that went to the camp to absolutely love it as much as David," Max pointed out, as he smoothed the tablecloth into place. "Did any of them have anything better to do over the summer than attend some run-down camp in the middle of nowhere?"
"Most of them were born in the nineties," Neil said. "They were all about that 'playing outside' bullshit because they didn't have Internet yet."
"Good point. Fucking weirdos."
"Think anyone from our year will show up, aside from those of us already here?" Neil asked, flicking his thumb towards the part of the yard where Harrison, Nikki and Nerris were busy with their own tasks.
"Let's take bets on who we think will show up," Max said. "Dibs on Space Kid."
"That's cheating, you know he's the most likely out of anyone that isn't here already," Neil said. "Actually, he's probably more likely to come to this than anyone already here."
"Hey, I called dibs," Max said. "So you gotta pick someone else."
"What are we even betting?" Neil asked. "Out of the two of us, I'm the only one with a job and money."
"If I win, you let me use your employee discount at that nerd store you work at," Max said. "If you win, I owe you a favor or something, I don't know."
"Is there even anything there you'd like?" Neil asked.
Max shrugged. "I think I saw a dragon statue that looked kind of cool once."
"Aww, the one with the red eyes?" Neil asked. "But I was thinking about buying that for Harrison..."
"Then I'll get the one with green eyes, I don't fucking care," Max said. "I just want a dragon statue for my room."
"Fine," Neil said. "Employee discount, but only once. My boss will ride my ass if I let others use it too often."
"Pick your poison, then," Max said.
Neil thought hard for a moment. "I'd go with Preston, but only with the addition that if he does come, he'll have at least one article of clothing covered in glitter."
Max snorted. "He's probably got one of those stupid theater kid hats, too. You know, like the ones the guy in High School Musical wore?"
"You watched High School Musical?" Neil asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Who didn't?" Max said. "We all had our phases."
"Fair enough."
"Fine. You choose High School Musical and I choose Space Case," Max said. "What should we do if they both show up?"
Neil tapped his chin. "Then you owe me a favor and I'll buy you that dragon statue?"
"...Yeah, alright. Deal?"
"Deal."
"Hello, boys!"
Max jumped at the sudden burst of magical energy behind them and spun around to see Harrison standing there. "Can't you just walk across the yard like a normal fucking person if you need something?!"
"Hey, I just perfected this spell and I intend to use it as often as possible," Harrison said proudly.
Neil let out a chuckle and crossed his arms. "And I suppose asking you how you did it is out of the question, huh?"
"You know what my answer's going to be," Harrison said with a smirk.
"'It's magic' isn't an answer and you know it, babe."
"Well, it's all you're going to get," Harrison said, as he gently booped Neil's nose.
"For now," Neil said, his smile widening. "But we'll see later."
"Ugh, can you two put a pause on your flirting and help me finish setting up?" Max asked, making a face. "People are going to be here soon."
Not taking his eyes off Neil, Harrison pulled his wand from his sleeve and, after a quick flick of his wrist, the remaining tablecloths slid into place. "There, done."
Max cast him a glare. "You couldn't have done that sooner and saved us the time?"
"Oh, Max, you can't just use magic to solve all your problems," Harrison said. "Plus, there was a fifty-fifty chance that it wouldn't work and the remaining tablecloths would've simply caught on fire. I just got lucky."
"Yeah, of course you did," Max said, rolling his eyes. "Anyway, was there a reason you came over here, other than to flirt?"
"Well, yes and no," Harrison said. "You see, I need help with unfolding chairs, and Nikki and Nerris are busy with the food area—"
"-and you want Neil to be the one to help you, right?" Max finished for him.
"If he's no longer needed over here, that is," Harrison said.
Max looked towards Neil, who gave a pleading look in return. "Yeah, yeah, go be romantic before people start showing up. I owe you for finishing up my part of the decorating, anyway."
Neil smiled and took Harrison's hand, before the two of them hurried off towards the other end of the yard. Max shook his head as he watched them go. He hadn't quite wrapped his mind around the idea of the two of them yet; it felt like only yesterday they were at each other's throats while he was busy throwing up half the items in Harrison's magic kit.
But he couldn't help but smile at the tender look on his best friend's face as the two of them shared a hushed conversation.
"Finished setting up over here?"
His smile disappeared as he turned to see David approaching him. "Tables are done, the girls have the food covered, and Neil and Harrison are finishing up the chairs. All that's left to do is wait for the criers."
"Good to hear it." David smiled fondly. "By the way, Max, I know I've said this before, but this was a wonderful idea."
Max looked towards the ground. "Yeah, yeah, I'm a damn saint. Don't tell anyone though, I got a reputation to uphold."
"I mean it, Max," David said, as he reached over to ruffle Max's hair with a fond expression. "I mean, a memorial service where we invite all the old campers and counselors? That's such a nice way to help everyone mourn. How on earth did you come up with such a clever idea so quickly?"
Max grew tense. And there were the questions from David. "I just...did, alright?" he said in the most casual voice he could muster. "It's not my fault I better at coming up with ideas on the spot than a thirty-year-old man."
David chuckled. "Max, I'm twenty-nine."
"Close enough," Max said, pushing his hand away. "And stop touching my hair, I want to look nice for this fucking thing!"
"Oh my God, it's like I went back in time."
Both Max and David turned to see a woman standing behind them, her red hair tied back in a pigtail and a tired smile on her face. David's eyes lit up and he stepped closer to her, his arms open as if he wanted to give her a hug. "Gwen! You made it!"
"Holy shit, it is Gwen," Max said in disbelief. "The Hell's she doing here?"
"Nice to see you too, kid," she said, as she accepted David's request for a hug. "And it's especially nice to see you again, David. How long's it been?"
"About five months," David said. "And two weeks. But who's counting?"
Gwen let out a laugh. "Clearly not you. Whatcha been up to in five months?"
"I finally became an official foster parent," he said proudly.
"Yeah, I heard about that!" Gwen's smile widened as her gaze dropped to Max. "And I see you weren't kidding about fostering the little terror of Camp Campbell himself."
"Haha, why don't you talk about something actually funny," Max said, grateful to switch the subject before David could question him further. "Like what I assume you've been doing since camp, which is to say, nothing of significance."
"Max," David said sternly. "Don't be rude."
"...Sorry. Old habit."
Gwen chuckled as she let go of David. "You still making David's life miserable, kiddo?"
"As far as you know," Max said.
"Come on, Gwen, he's a good kid," David said with a fond smile. "In fact, this entire thing was his idea!"
Gwen raised an eyebrow. "Really now?"
Max crossed his arms. "I told you not to go bragging about it, David."
"But how could I not?" David said cheerfully. "It's a wonderful idea!"
"So you've said..."
Gwen's smile widened and she pressed a hand to her cheek as she stared at the two of them. "God, looking at you two interact really is a blast from the past. It's like I'm back at camp."
"Yeah, yeah, maybe your dreams of a time-travelling doctor finally came true," Max said sarcastically.
Gwen chuckled. "Aww, you remembered. You do care."
"So what the hell are you doing here anyway?" Max asked. "Didn't you hate the camp?"
"Didn't you?" Gwen said.
"I live here," Max pointed out. "That's my excuse. What's yours?"
Gwen shrugged. "Look, it's been over five years. That's more than enough time to make me less angry about wasting my summer there, and more willing to laugh about it at parties." She nudged David playfully. "Plus, I wasn't about to pass up the chance to see my old co-counselor pal again, even if it was at a damn funeral of all places."
David's smile softened. "Well, I'm glad you could make it. And I'm sure Mr. Campbell would have appreciated it, too."
Gwen gave him a look. "David, the man barely knew my name."
"...Well, I appreciate it."
Gwen smiled again. "Yeah, well, you're just lucky I care so much about you, you big goof."
The two of them fell silent for a moment, not taking their eyes off each other as the other kids approached the group. "David, we finished setting everything up!" Nerris said.
"Hey, is that Gwen?!" Nikki asked excitedly. "Hi, Gwen! Nice to see you still kicking!"
"What, did you think she'd be dead, too?" Max asked.
"Yeah, but for a completely different reason than David," Nikki said. "With David, I just figured he'd get hit by a truck or something. But I always thought Gwen would get an unwinnable fight with another person who loves those trashy novels."
"'Fight to the death', not 'an unwinnable fight', Nikki," Neil corrected her.
"Unwinnable fight!" Nikki said stubbornly.
"Yeah, unwinnable fight!" Nerris added. "Like when you try to use physical attacks against a being that can only be defeated by magical attacks. Nothing good's going to come out of that!"
"You could always just run away from the being and save your spell slots," Harrison pointed out.
"Uh, but what if you're trying to level up, smart-ass?" Nerris asked. "What then?"
Gwen couldn't hold back a laugh. "Oh, my God, none of them have changed a bit. We really are back at camp!"
"Isn't it great?" David said with a laugh of his own.
Gwen's smile widened. "You know what? It is kind of nice seeing everyone again, honestly."
"So you do have a soft spot for the camp!" David said, with a playful nudge to her arm. "Is it enough to make you consider being a counselor again?"
"Haha, you wish," she said. "Never again, pal. But...there's definitely something there."
David continued to smile for a moment, before the corners of his mouth slowly fell into a sad frown and he reached up to wipe away the tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Her own eyes now wide, Gwen stepped closer to comfort him as the tears finally began to roll down his face. "Hey, come on, it's alright."
"I'm sorry," David said, sniffling. "I was trying to wait until everyone else got here to cry. But I just...I'm sad but I'm so happy. You're here, and the kids have just...been so helpful today..."
"Let it all out, pal," Gwen said, pulling him into another hug. "You cry as much as you need to today."
You cry as much as you need to...
Max bit his lip as he noticed Neil giving him a look from his spot beside Harrison. He turned back to the nearest table and attempted to distract himself with the already-smooth tablecloth, while he heard David cry behind him.
You cry as much as you need to...
Max thought back to the last time he had cried over his parents. The anniversary of their death. The worst day of his life for a number of reasons.
You cry as much as you need to...
Once again, he found himself instinctively touching his left arm. The last time he had cried, really cried, had been during his time in the hospital. No family or parents to comfort him, no idea what would happen to him next. Just him in a lonely hospital room while the doctors were gone and his social worker was busy finding him a new family.
You cry as much as you need to...
David would get the opportunity to cry today. He'd be able to mourn in peace without worrying about anything or anyone else, surrounded by people who could cry with him.
And no matter what shitty, intrusive thoughts plagued his mind today, Max wasn't about to take that away from him.
--------------------
It was not long before others started pouring into the backyard after Gwen, and the somber atmosphere that accompanied them did nothing to help Max's already-low mood.
Most of them were adults, some a little older than David while others looked to be around their late teens or early twenties. A lot of them were hugging, crying, supporting each other as they gathered around the memorial shrine for Campbell, which David had set up with great care. Some were actually laughing as they reconnected with old friends from summers ago. All of them were dressed in black, which was one thing Max could appreciate about such an occasion. Ninety percent of his wardrobe would be appropriate to wear today.
He hadn't seen any of the kids from his summer, outside of the ones who were already there. But they had disappeared among the crowd to do God-knows-what, which unfortunately left Max alone with his thoughts.
There were so many people here to mourn Campbell. Max couldn't help but wonder if, had his own parents been given a funeral or service, this many people would have shown up to theirs. Sure, they had had friends and coworkers, but how many of them would have been torn up over their deaths. How many had actually been torn up and Max never got a chance to know?
He shook his head and tried desperately to force those thoughts right back to the farthest corner of his mind where they belonged as he looked around for David. He spotted him among a group of people who had gathered in the far corner of the yard, away from the rest of the crowd.
It was a decent-sized group, about ten people. All of them were crying and hugging one another though conversations that Max could not hear. And while most of them appeared to be more or less the same age as David, there was a man and a woman who were clearly much older then any of them, a soft, almost comforting look on their faces as they stared at the younger adults.
A look so similar to the one David had often given to the kids back when he was a counselor.
...His counselors.
They were his counselors.
More than just his counselors, that was David's entire group from his time as a camper. Or...at least one of them. There was no way David had only attended camp for a single summer.
The older woman had such a wide, bubbly smile on her face despite the tears in her eyes and she was waving her hands wildly and passionately as if she was telling an incredibly story. The man was also smiling with tear-filled eyes, and would occasionally reach over to ruffle David's hair (Max scowled as his hand instinctively traveled up to his own hair) as if he was ten years old again, a motion that would make David both laugh and cry.
David was so happy today. Well, not happy. Obviously he was sad, but he was allowed to be sad with other people around him to help ease the pain. He was allowed to cry, he was allowed to mourn...
Max crossed his arms and let them rest on the table before him. He wanted that chance. He wanted to cry so badly. He wanted to be able to mourn his parents properly. It was a memorial service; he could just cry and no one would know that his tears weren't reserved for Campbell.
But David would see him crying, and would want to comfort him. And with comfort would come questions, and Max didn't trust himself to keep the real reasons behind his tears to himself if David decided to pry. And there would go David's chance to spend the day focusing on Campbell. His chance to grieve. His chance to get everything Max hadn't gotten.
Max had to keep his feelings to himself, at least until the service was over. He was a master at repressing his stupid, annoying feelings when necessary. Okay, maybe not a master, but he had definitely gotten better at it after his year of hell.
...Okay, so that wasn't necessarily true, either.
Well, regardless, he would have to at least try for David's sake.
"Mwack."
He felt something nudge his leg beneath the table, and he lifted the tablecloth to investigate. A familiar brown lump of fur with an even-more-familiar orange bill was staring up at him from the grass.
Max felt his troubling thoughts melt away for a moment as he reached down to scratch the platypus's head. "Hey, I remember you," he said fondly. "The hell are you doing here, you little abomination-of-nature?"
The platypus nudged his hand sweetly. "Mwack."
Max couldn't help but smile at this motion. "Well, you got affectionate with age, didn't you? No more biting or hamster-eating?"
Another nuzzle. "Mwack."
"Dee? Did you check under that table?"
"No luck."
"Aww, well, we'll keep looking! He couldn't have gotten far."
Max looked up to see two other kids looking beneath nearby tables, as if they were searching for something. "Hey, you two looking for a platypus?" he asked, rising up from his chair. "He's under this one."
Both looked up from their search and the taller child's eyes widened excitedly. "Max! You're here, too?!"
"...Wait, Space Kid?"
"Oh, right, you guys never did get my name right, huh?" The child asked with a laugh as he and the other approached the table. "That's okay, I never liked it much anyway. I've been trying to think of a better name to go by, like Alioth. Or...Vega! Oooh, or Nix! That's a satellite of Pluto. By the way, Pluto should totally still be a planet and we as a species was wrong to take its planetary status away!" He let out another laugh. "But hey, you can just keep calling me Space Kid if you want to! I mean, if the space boot fits, am I right?"
Well, Max called that one. And now that he got a good look at Space Kid, it was more than obvious that he was the little space-loving weirdo from camp. He had grown a bit both in height and weight, and his shaggy brown hair now hung down over his eyes, but it was definitely him. And Max had a feeling that, had this not been a memorial service, he probably would have worn an outfit completely dedicated to space. Hell, Max would have felt safe in betting on the idea of him showing up in a full-on astronaut suit if he had been given a choice in the matter.
The other kid seemed to linger closer to Space Kid, his eyes cast down at the grass below and a yellow beanie with a star on the front atop his head. He pointed towards the bottom of the tablecloth, where the platypus had stuck out its bill. "Found him."
"Hey, there you are!" Space Kid said cheerfully as he bent down to pick him up. "Silly Mwack, always wandering off by yourself! That's how we almost lost you at the observatory!"
"I can't believe the little fucker's still alive," Max said. "How'd he end up with you, anyway?"
"Oh, he snuck into my backpack before we left camp," Space Kid explained. "So I decided to keep him! Mom made me take him to the vet and get him de-poisoned, just to be safe, and we did a ton of research on platypi just so we knew how to take care of him! Did you know platypi can actually live to be about seventeen in captivity? I didn't, but I do now! Or that female platypi sweat milk! Well, not sweat, but-"
Max wasn't paying much attention to Space Kid's overenthusiastic platypus facts. He eyes were still on the kid at his left, who was was keeping his gaze down and rubbing his hands together nervously. His posture seemed reserved and scared, like he really didn't want to be there. Something about him seemed so familiar to Max, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.
"-and that's why Dee and I want to see if we convince NASA to let Mwack be the first platypus in space," Space Kid finished.
Dee? Wait a minute...
"...Dolph?" Max asked aloud.
The boy seemed to flinch at this name and Space Kid wrapped his platypus-free arm around him in a comforting fashion. "His name is Dee," he said defensively.
"Oh, uh, sorry..." Max said. "But... it is him, right?"
Dee nodded. "It's me..."
Max eyed him again. "I'm surprised to see you, you know, not dressed completely like-"
"Hitler?" Dee finished in a guilty voice.
"...So you did know?"
"No, I didn't!" Dee said, finally looking up. "I mean...I did, but I didn't...I-I shouldn't have..." He hung his head again. "Do you ever look back on...how you used to act? Or how your parents raised you? And just kind of...realize it wasn't...great?"
"...Oh."
"Yeah..." Dee said sadly. "I was...awful. I did lots of things that made people uncomfortable. It wasn't right. I know that now."
"So, when'd you catch on?" Max asked.
"It's been happening for a while..." Dee said. "But I... I don't want to be like my parents. They're...they're bad people, and I don't want to be bad, too."
"And I'm helping him not be bad!" Space Kid said cheerfully, giving his shoulder a squeeze. "So... be good!"
Dee looked up at him fondly. "He's helping."
"Well, damn, good for you, dude," Max said. "Because no offense, but you really were kind of horrible. And by kind of, I mean... You were really horrible. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, dude, it wasn't cool."
"I know..." Dee said. "I was kind of scared to come today. But I...wanted to say I was sorry to everyone I could. I already talked to David—"
"-and he forgave you almost instantly, right?" Max asked.
"I...Well, he said he did," Dee said. "I just hope that was how he really felt. I...I want people to be honest if they can't forgive me."
"Well, knowing David, I'm sure he not only forgave you, but he probably also promised you a bed in the guest room if you ever needed to get away from your shitty parents, right?" Max asked.
Dee nodded. "He did say that, only without the swearing."
"Yeah, of course he did," Max said. "Well, hey, if worst comes to worst, at least you won't be the only kid in the house."
"What do you mean?" Dee asked.
"I mean, I live here, too," Max pointed out. "David's fostering me."
"David's your dad?!" Space Kid asked excitedly.
Max scowled. "Foster dad."
"That's so neat!" Space Kid said, while Dee's eyes widened excitedly. "I wish I could have David for a dad! My real dad left a while ago, and Mom says he's probably not coming back."
"Oh..." Max said, raising his eyebrows. "I'm...sorry, Space Kid."
"No need to be sorry!" Space Kid said, hugging Dee closer. "I got my mom, and Dee, and Mwack! It'd be nice to have my Dad, too, but I'm still happy!"
And Space Kid was still so optimistic and nice. Between that and Dee's determination to be a better person, Max could feel those annoying intrusive thoughts returning. Despite life's hardships, these two were happy. They were bettering themselves, finding the bright side of a terrible situation, not letting life constantly kick their ass despite its numerous attempts.
Why...why couldn't it be that easy for him?
...Okay, the answer was obvious, but the fact that he knew that the answer was obvious only made him feel worse. He knew what he needed to do to stop feeling bad. He knew it was easy. There was literally nothing stopping him from just crossing the yard and telling David that he was having a shitty day.
He looked back at where David was located. Still smiling through his tears, still having a good time despite the heartbreak.
Still grieving.
And it was enough to keep Max frozen where he stood, as he once again tried to push his stupid thoughts to the back of his mind.
"Max, you gotta come see Nikki and Nurf!"
A wave of relief washed over Max as the sound of Nerris's voice shattered his train-of-thought and he saw Dee move closer to Space Kid as she approached the table in an excited panic. "They've been arm-wrestling for about five minutes and there hasn't been a winner yet! It's more exciting then when I rolled a Crit-20 and actually scared a dragon away in my last DnD game!"
"Nurf's here, too?" Max asked. "Oh, God, I'd better go with you just so I can make sure he doesn't try to stab Nikki." A pause. "Then again, she'd probably stab him back...Yeah, I really should go with you. Lead the way, Critical Role."
"Very funny, Max," Nerris said. "But you know I'm more of an Adventure Zone fan."
"Of course, how could I forget your crush on Magnus Sideburns?"
"Burnsides, Max! And can you blame me?!" She crossed her arms. "I'm just saying, Julia was a lucky lady!"
"Whatever, just lead the way."
Nerris laughed and gestured for him to follow, and Space Kid and Dee trailed behind him as they pushed through the crowd and headed for another table.
"YES! EAT IT, BITCH!"
Max heard Nikki's cry of victory before the table where she, a probably-seventeen-by-now Nurf, and the other kids came into view. And it wasn't just Neil and Harrison; Max could see Ered and Preston had joined the group as well.
Ered was taller than she had been at camp, and her hairstyle was almost identical to Nikki's, though still blonde with her trademark purple stripes. She had traded her old jacket for a black, leather one and was still rocking a pair of torn jeans and boots (Max couldn't deny that she definitely had style). Preston, on the other hand, looked pretty much how both Neil and Max had expected him to look (Max could see Neil giving him a knowing smirk and a subtle gesture towards the glittery, black hat atop Preston's head) and it was not a surprise that he seemed to be furious for an unknown reason.
Nerris let out a noise of unhappiness. "Aww, did I miss it?"
"Yeah, and I rocked!" Nikki said proudly.
"Gotta admit, shrimp, you've bulked up since camp," Nurf said, flexing his hand. "Though that's not a surprise, you were always one of the more athletic kids of the group."
"And you put up a good fight, my man," Nikki said with a wide smile. "What was it you said you started doing, kick-boxing?"
"It was my therapist's idea," Nurf explained. "Said it would help me unleash a lot of my violent tendencies in a safe-and-controlled environment. I haven't been arrested in three months, so I'd say it's successful so far, but every case is different and results tend to be varied so we'll see what happens."
"Well, clearly you're not unleashing ENOUGH of those tendencies!" Preston said angrily. "Now I've lost five bucks!"
"Heh, pay up, theater kid," Ered said, her hand out.
Grumbling, Preston fished the bill out of his pocket and slapped it down on her palm. "Well, I've learned my lesson. Save the gambling for fights between Hamilton fans and Heathers fans. It's a safe bet; Heathers fans usually go for biting and hair-pulling while Hamilton fans are total pussies."
"You would know that," Max spoke up.
Preston narrowed his eyes at Max. "What are you doing here? Never expected to see you at a funeral for Campbell."
"One, it's a memorial service, not a funeral," Max said. "Two, the same could be said for you, Nurf, and maybe Ered."
Ered shrugged. "I heard there was free food and I had nothing better to do. Plus, it's one of the few places I can wear this outfit and old people won't look at me like I'm the devil or something."
"I feel that," Max said with a nod.
"I originally had a kickboxing match today, but it got postponed so I figured it'd be better than going home," Nurf explained. "Actually, I was telling Nikki about it and that's why she wanted to arm wrestle."
"And like hell I'm missing out on an opportunity to grace people with my presence!" Preston said dramatically. "Even if it's the likes of you heathens and your inability to recognize fine writing."
Max raised an eyebrow. "Last time I checked, you couldn't recognize it either. I mean, we all saw that play of yours back in the day."
Preston let out an offended scoff. "I see you haven't changed a bit since camp. Still the same, rude kid after all this time."
For some bizarre reason, Max felt a twinge of anger at this comment. It was one thing when Neil or Nikki playfully insulted him. But he hadn't seen Preston in years and the two of them hadn't exactly been friends. "Whatever, Preston, like you're any better."
"Well, someone's in a bad mood," Preston said defensively. "Again, a surprise to no one."
It was just a stupid comment. Max knew it was a stupid comment, and it shouldn't have bothered him. If he got mad every time some idiot insulted him, he would just be miserable all the fucking time.
...Well, moreso than usual.
It was fine. He was fine. Or at the very least, he could pretend he was fine and not get annoyed at something he would normally either shrug off or respond to with a much better comment.
"So, why are you here anyway?" Preston asked. "I couldn't help but notice you avoided answering that question."
Of course he'd caught that. Why the fuck wouldn't he? "I'm...here to pay my respects for Campbell," he said calmly. "Is that a fucking crime, Preston?"
Preston scoffed. "Oh, really? You, the kid who hated the camp more than any of us, is here to pay respects for the bastard? Why don't I believe that?"
"You don't have to," Max said. "It doesn't affect me either way."
"You know what I think?" Preston said. "I think you're here to pull some kind of prank on David. Come on, fess up, we all know you wouldn't come to this thing willingly."
That was a...fair assumption for someone who hadn't seen Max since camp to make. There was no need to feel offended by that assumption at all, despite the fact that he had spent most of the past week thinking about nothing but trying to make today special for David because of what had happened with his own folks. How the fuck was Preston supposed to know that? He wasn't, so there was no need to be mad.
And yet Max was clenching his fists so tightly, his palms were started to hurt from how hard his fingernails were digging into them. "I told you, Preston. I just...wanted to pay my respects."
He felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked over to see Neil and Nikki beside him. "Hey, Max, can Nikki and I talk to you for a moment alone?"
Max nodded quickly and followed them towards the shed that lay on the edge of the yard. "God, thanks, guys. He was starting to piss me off."
"I know," Neil said, as he lead the two of them inside and shut the door behind them. "It's why we wanted to talk to you."
"Plan M! Plan M!" Nikki said excitedly.
Max gave her a confused look. "Plan M?"
"That's not what it's called, Nikki," Neil said, crossing his arms.
"Oh, yeah?" Nikki asked. "Then what would you call a plan that involves Max?"
"It doesn't need a name!"
"Guys!" Max said. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Neil sighed. "Okay, so Nikki and I had a plan, a nameless plan, ready in case either of us saw that you were having a hard time today."
"Neil told me about what you two talked about last week," Nikki said, and gave Max a look of sympathy. "And we saw how you tensed up earlier when Gwen got here."
Max sighed. "Oh, great. So I'm that easy to read? Fine, whatever, what's the plan?"
Neil and Nikki exchanged a look. "Okay, so you don't want to talk to David, right?" Nikki asked.
"It's not that I don't want to," Max said. "It's that I can't."
"Why not?" Nikki asked. "It'd be so easy! He's just right across the yard, I can go get him for you-"
"If Neil explained everything to you, then you should already know why I can't," Max said, crossing his arms.
"What Nikki means is," Neil said. "Maybe it wouldn't be so hard to talk to him if you had some help from us. We could just tell David that—"
Max sighed irritably and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Guys, look. I really appreciate you trying to help, I do. But you both know why I can't talk to him until the service is over. And you two just ignoring all that and telling me 'oh, just go talk to him' makes me feel like you're not listening to anything I'm saying!"
Nikki gave him a sad look. "We are listening, Max. But you know David would want to know if you needed to talk—"
"I know, okay?!" he said, a little more aggressively than intended. "I know he'd want me to go to him for help! I know he'd listen! I fucking know! Do you two really think I'm such a fucking idiot that I wouldn't know that?!"
Neil and Nikki stared at him with a look of shock, one that almost made him feel guilty. Almost. "I'm not talking to him until after the service is done! I don't care if it fucking kills me, he's not going to spend today dealing with my bullshit!"
Neil placed a hand on his shoulder. "Max—"
Max didn't stick around to hear the rest of the conversation. He pushed Neil's hand away and stormed out of the shed, back towards where the rest of the campers from their summer had gathered.
"-yeah, my dad left, too," Ered was saying to Space Kid as Max approached. "But who needs deadbeats, right? Moms are the real heroes."
"Well, I mean, I'd like to see mine again," Space Kid said in return. "But yeah, my mom's cool!"
"Ugh, I'd give anything not to ever see my mother again!" Preston said. "That fucking bitch didn't even have the decency to show up at my theater trope's third performance of Phantom of the Opera! She was too busy 'working'. Excuses! That particular performance was one of my top five!"
It shouldn't have bothered him. Kids were allowed to hate their parents; sometimes it was completely understandable. Dee had mentioned that his parents had been awful, too, and he hadn't been angry over that. And Space Kid had already mentioned that his dad was a deadbeat.
So why the fuck was he so angry, now? What the Hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't he just calm down?!
"What about you, Max?" Preston asked. "Got any horror stories about your folks?"
God damn it. God damn it. "Yeah, I got a horror story for you. It's called 'my folks are fucking dead'!"
The group fell silent, all eyes now on Max. "I...Oh," Preston said slowly.
"Yeah, Preston, oh," Max said, his voice rising. "They died in a fire about a year ago and I've had to bounce around from foster home to foster home since then. But I guess your mom not coming to a performance she's probably seen a million times is pretty fucking terrible, too. I feel so sorry for you."
"Max," Neil said firmly from behind him. "I know you don't want to, but you need to go talk to David now-"
"I told you I can't, Neil!" Max spun around to face him as angry tears began to form at the corner of his eyes. Great, now he was fucking crying. "Why doesn't anybody fucking get that I can't?!"
"Max—"
"You think I don't realize how fucking stupid I'm being by not talking to him?" Max continued, the tears finally rolling down his face. "That I haven't spent all day wishing I could just drag my sorry ass across the yard and tell him 'hey, I'm fucking depressed as shit, can you please help me like you always do, because you're a good fucking person who would stop everything just to help me with my problems but just because you would doesn't mean you should, especially when you're mourning the death of someone super fucking important to you?! Because I know that not being able to do that fucking sucks and I may be a prick to you ninety-nine percent of the time but I'm not about to take that chance away from you?!'"
"Max?"
Max froze at the sound of someone else saying his name and slowly turned to see David staring at him, a camera in his hand and a look of utter shock on his face. "I...saw all of you together, and I thought—"
Max didn't stick around to hear David finish his sentence. Scrubbing the tears from his face, he turned and raced for the house as fast he could. He didn't look around at the other guests who were probably staring at him now, he didn't stop as someone behind him (was that Nikki? Was it David again? He didn't care) called his name. He just pried open the back door, raced towards the stairs and stormed up to his room.
He slammed the door shut behind him and slid down to the floor as he finally let the tears fall. He'd fucked it up. Of course he'd fucked it up. He'd yelled at his friends, he'd ruined the service for David... Why did he expect anything else to happen? Why did he just listen to Neil or Nikki and go talk to David? Of course he should have talked to David.
Why was he so...stupid?
God damn it.
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