I’m so fucking tired of trying because no matter how hard I try it’s never good enough.
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This summer is crueling harder than other cruel summers
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Od dłuższego czasu czuje się wszędzie jak piąte koło u wozu…
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I'm thinking about suicide again. I just wish when i go to sleep that i won't wake up. Whatever my life doesn't matter anyways.
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I couldn’t trust my own emotions. Which emotional reactions were justified, if any? And which ones were tainted by the mental illness of BPD? I found myself fiercely guarding and limiting my emotional reactions, chastising myself for possible distortions and motivations. People who had known me years ago would barely recognize me now. I had become quiet and withdrawn in social settings, no longer the life of the party. After all, how could I know if my boisterous humor were spontaneous or just a borderline desire to be the center of attention? I could no longer trust any of my heart felt beliefs and opinions on politics, religion, or life. The debate queen had withered. I found myself looking at every single side of an issue unable to come to any conclusions for fear they might be tainted. My lifelong ability to be assertive had turned into a constant state of passivity.
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i hate my breasts theyre so small and disgusting
i hate my breasts theyre so small and ugly im too old for them to grow anymore but they look shit they dont look like a womans boobs and it makes me feel disgusting
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i hate feeling like such a fuck up. my own mother will look me in the eyes and tell me she feels like she fucked up, not because i’m mentally ill and traumatized, but because she thinks i’m weird and regrets not being able to force me to be normal. i wish she just treated me like a person for once in my life, i hate being her fucking puppet, she’s such a self absorbed piece of shit
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You mean I have to actually write my own fanfiction I can’t just mind meld with the computer and write it out and then read it like I haven’t seen it before?
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