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#harry styles yeri
lucuslavigne · 6 months
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𖦹 Eu vou ser forte que nem o meu pai!
Jaehyun × Leitora.
๑: Jaehyun papai de menino, fluffy.
Espero que gostem.
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— Mais um e essa série acaba Jae. — falou com o esposo.
— Não sei como você aguenta esse treino de cardio não mulher. — falou cansado.
— Faltam quinze minutos pra' finalizar ainda.
— Deus que me livre. — terminou o exercício. — Deixa eu voltar pra' musculação que é melhor.
— Vai lá então. — selou os lábios do marido.
— Mamãe, posso ficar aqui? — Hyojun, seu filho, perguntou.
— Pode amor. — sorriu. — Só não mecha nos pesos 'tá bom?
— 'Tá bom. — sentou em um dos equipamentos.
Continuou seu treino normalmente, conversava com uma pessoa ou outra e tentava ao máximo deixar Hyojun longe de qualquer coisa que pudesse o machucar.
— Oi S/N! — escutou a voz de Yeri.
— Oi Yeri! — a cumprimentou. — Como vai?
— Vou bem, obrigada. — se sentou ao lado do seu filho. — Tudo bem Hyojun?
— Tudo sim tia Yeri. — sorriu.
Ficaram alguns minutos conversando, até finalizar seu treino, cansada e suada, decide ir tomar uma ducha no vestiário da academia.
— Hyojun, fica com o seu pai enquanto a mamãe toma uma ducha 'tá?
— 'Tá bom! — correu até perto do pai.
— Bom treino Yeri, obrigada pela companhia. — a agradeceu.
— Imagina S/N. — respondeu. — Até logo.
— Até. — se despediu.
Caminhou até o vestiário e achou uma cabine livre, se despiu e ligou o chuveiro em uma temperatura que a agradasse, sentindo a água cair pelo seu corpo. Tirou todo o suor de seu corpo e ficou mais um tempo alí, apenas relaxando. Quando viu que demoraria muito se dependesse de si mesma, desligou o registro e se secou com a toalha, colocando uma roupa limpa.
— Mamãe, mamãe! — correu até você.
— O que houve filho?
— Eu vou ser forte que nem o meu pai! — falou empolgado.
— Ah é?
— Sim! O papai consegue levantar cento e vinte quilos alí! — apontou.
— Então você tem que comer direitinho, aí você vai ficar forte que nem o papai. — o disse.
— Eba! — bateu palminhas.
— O que vocês estão falando? — Jaehyun perguntou.
— Eu quero ser forte que nem você papai! — pulou no colo do Jeong.
— Você vai filho. — beijou o rosto do pequeno. — Mas agora nós vamos para casa.
Como estava cansada como o marido, apenas pegaram seus pertences e foram ao carro, dirigindo de volta para o lar de vocês.
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prettyrealm · 1 year
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celebrity readings masterlist
miscellaneous
☆ yes or no questions
k-pop industry
aespa
☆ how did the aespa members feel about giselle’s n-word scandal?
☆ will giselle be in more controversies in the future? will she be a better person?
☆ karina positives + negatives
ateez
☆ san positives + negatives
☆ san positives + negatives (updated!)
☆ san ideal type
☆ san reputation within the industry
☆ san as a boyfriend
☆ san & wooyoung dynamic
☆ seonghwa love life
☆ hongjoong positives + negatives
blackpink
☆ lisa ideal type
bts
☆ jungkook positives + negatives
☆ what really happened between jimin & jeongyeon?
enhypen
☆ jungwon positives + negatives
exo
☆ kai positives + negatives
☆ jay ideal type
(g)i-dle
☆ yuqi positives + negatives
infinite
☆ how does sungjong feel about his “feminine” image?
itzy
☆ how does ryujin feel about her “masculine” image?
☆ ryujin ideal type
ive
☆ how do ive members see wonyoung?
☆ gaeul positives + negatives
☆ wonyoung positives + negatives
le sserafim
☆ chaewon positives + negatives
☆ yunjin positives + negatives
monsta x
☆ i.m ideal type reading
newjeans
☆ minji negatives + positives
nct
☆ was the zoo unit specifically taeyong annoyed at giselle for messing up on stage?
☆ how does nct taeyong view nct haechan?
☆ jaehyun negatives + positives
☆ jeno negatives + positives
☆ haechan negatives + positives
p1harmony
☆ most to least likely to date a fan in p1harmony?
☆ soul positives + negatives
☆ soul ideal type
☆ soul as a boyfriend
red velvet
☆ yeri positives + negatives
stayc
☆ sieun reputation within the industry
stray kids
☆ bangchan & felix dynamic
☆ felix positives + negatives
☆ hyunjin reputation within the industry
the boyz
☆ sunwoo ideal type
twice
☆ jihyo positives + negatives
☆ mina positives + negatives
☆ sana positives + negatives
☆ tzuyu positives + negatives
☆ jeongyeon positives + negatives
☆ what really happened between jimin & jeongyeon?
txt
☆ soobin positives + negatives
☆ conversations with soobin
☆ yeonjun positives + negatives
☆ yeonjun ideal type
soloists
☆ jeon somi positives + negatives
k-drama industry
☆ current events: han sohee vs lee hyeri
western
☆ chloé bailey current energy - may 23, 2023
☆ doja cat current energy - may 31 2023
☆ beyoncé current energy - march 11, 2024
☆ how does taylor swift feel about the drama around her dating matty healy?
☆ what is the nature of the relationship between halle bailey and jonah hauer-king?
☆ aaron taylor-johnson positives + negatives
☆ billie eilish positives + negatives
☆ blueface positives + negatives
☆ hailey bieber positives + negatives
☆ harry styles positives + negatives
☆ ice spice positives + negatives
☆ jenna ortega positives + negatives
☆ kendall jenner positives + negatives
☆ lana del rey positives + negatives
☆ matty healy positives + negatives
☆ how does matty healy feel about his recent scandals? - june 27, 2023
☆ pedro pascal positives + negatives
☆ pinkpantheress positives + negatives
☆ taylor swift positives + negatives
☆ timothee chalamet positives + negatives
☆ how did taylor swift feel meeting future for the first time?
☆ interview series: doja cat
☆ current events: drake vs future
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ask-serendipity-sky · 9 months
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People expect us to take a dating rumor with JK seriously when he is supposedly with a new woman every damn day? Really? I have said this already but let’s see list. From most talked about to least (this is hard):
1) Yubi
2) Nicole
3) blonde girl
4) Jeju girl
5) Han So-Hee (all because they were in LA at the same time and came back at the same time. People think she gone be in his music video representing his girlfriend. And people starting to ship them)
6) Lisa to I guess
7) Winter from Aespa (just because she sat in the same row as JK (next Nicole) at the Harry Styles concert and took the same exit)
Now onto some different ones
8) Rosè
9) Jennie (yes that Jennie)
10) Sana
11) Tzuyu
12) Yeri
13) IU
I’m probably missing a lot. Point is I’m supposed to take his dating rumor with Yubi seriously when they saying he dating Nicole? I was supposed to take his dating rumor with some blonde girl seriously when they were also saying he dating some girl he took to Jeju? These people gotta be doing some type of drugs and they need to quit.
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Hi Anon 2,
The list by @milan1013 (hello, milan1013) is pretty good lol We are missing some recent ones, though:
-LV after party girl
-Coachella girl
-Older lady at Jennie's party that he hugged lol
-Denim Qatar girl
-Nayeon
Edit to add an anon tip:
-Random person who was standing on the street when Jungkook exited a restaurant
Lol
This is ridiculous! Does anyone remember more?
Thanks for sharing!
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podtudo · 1 year
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• podtudo de hoje com @m-qrk !
bom dia, boa tarde ou boa noite tudinhos do perfil! no podtudo de hoje, trouxemos a ilustre presença da joy, @m-qrk ! sentem-se que lá vem tudo e mais um pouco!
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1. Nos conte um pouco sobre você, tudinho da vez! Faça uma pequena biografia sua para nós.
R: bem, meu nome é Joy, sou menor de idade, meus pronomes são ela dela, eu falo pt/br e eng quase fluente
2. O que ou quem te incentivou a postar esses posts maravilhosos do seu blog? Adoro!
R: no começo de tudo, eu só vim aq por causa das bios kk, mas quem me incentivou a continuar postando, com certeza foi a @luvmour que sempre esteve ao meu lado pra tudo, ela estava dês do início do blog comigo
3. O fav também tem favs fora do tumblr? Se sim, nos conte tudo sobre eles!
R: tenho sim, são vários, mas alguns são Mark Lee (nct), Johnny (nct), hendery (nct/wayv), jeno (nct), Irene (red velvet), yeri (red velvet) e Harry styles
4. E sobre músicas, curte? Adoraria saber sobre as suas preferidas.
R: meu Spotify não aguenta mais dar replay nessas músicas:
1- OMG (Newjeans) 2- Bye bye (red velvet) 3- On a ride (red velvet) 4- life is still going on (nct dream) 5- bungee (nct dream)
5. Tem inspirações aqui ou fora do aplicativo? Nos conte sobre também!
R: fora do aplicativo pelo que eu saiba eu não tenho kk, mas aqui com certeza minhas inspirações são: @veluvberry, @gyeri, e @v6mpcat
6. E vamos de um top 5, seus maiores favs da edição icônica do tumblr!
R: @y6orim 2- @veluvberry, 3- @fshione, 4- @s-olaries, 5- @misdior
7. Poderia explicar mais sobre seu estilo de post? É tudo muito lindo e a curiosa que me habita quer saber tudo sobre essas maravilhas.
R: meu estilo é bem variado, tem post messy, com grunge etc... Eu tbm busco inovar em cada post, ent eu posto tudo aleatório mesmo kk
8. E na sua vida pessoal, tem hobbies? Uma lenda como você com certeza deve curtir fazer algo.
R: eu gosto de cantar, ouvir música, dançar, mas o que eu mais gosto é desenhar, eu sou apaixonada em desenhar dês de pequena e meu sonho quando criança era ser ilustradora ou pintora
9. Indique alguns blogs fenômenais para os telespectadores!
R: @y6orim, @s-olaries, @ifvswon, @f-ones, @fuckici, @zkdef <3
10. Tem alguma pauta para os seus haters sem senso? Nos diga algo sobre esses sem noção aqui!
R: recalque de mandada eu tiro debochando, late mais alto que eu não tô te escutando
11. E por último, alguma situação constrangedora que já passou, todo mito de verdade já passou por uma dessas, não é? Vai ser incrível escutar alguma história de sua vida.
R: eu simplesmente acho que eu nunca passei por nenhum momento constrangedor, só momentos que eu confundi estranhos com os meus pais e tals, mas nada tão grave, sabe?
Agradeço sua presença ilustre aqui no podtudo!!! Volte sempre lenda, a Nayara a qualquer momento estará de braços abertos a você!
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dietrry · 1 year
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୨ ᓚᘏᗢ orbit ˚。 𖠗
ana bpd autistic
tw ed ( block don’t report )
20 y/o - minors dni
sw: 196 cw: 154 gw: 149 ugw: 99
ults: bts jinkook aespa ningning itzy lia loona chuu twice sana blackpink lalisa red velvet yeri everglow mia mamamoo solar txt beomgyu ateez yunho exo sehun seventeen wonwoo
western: louis tomlinson, ariana grande, sabrina carpenter, harry styles, megan thee stallion
↺ or ♡ to be mutuals
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melonsuhda · 2 years
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NOW PLAYING: Harry’s House
First of the NOW PLAYING series by melonsuhda Summary: Art director Y/N gets to work with a gorgeous photographer named Johnny.
The spins and turn of events between them is inspired from the lyrics of Harry Styles’ third album, Harry’s House, from which lyrics you can find below italicized in bold. I do not claim the following texts to be of my own writing so I marked them specifically for this reason. Pairing: Johnny x Reader, Kun x Reader Characters: NCT Johnny, Reader, NCT Jaehyun, RV Yeri (Katy), Stephanie (SNSD Tiffany), NCT Mark, NCT Jisung (Andy), RV Irene, RV Wendy, WAYV Kun
Genre: Alternate Universe. Slice of Life. Professional Work Life. Adult Romance. Fluff. Slight Angst (?) Smut.
Warning: Strictly for adult consumption. Minors scroll past please. Contains graphic descriptions and expletives, which others might possibly find offensive. Read at your own risk.                 
Notes: This is my first AU so I might consider doing minor edits in the future, including tags, better warnings, the works. Enjoy! And I may have dropped a hint of what album my next story will be inspired of ;)
1. The needle of the record player screeched into a static for a while, and then grooved smoothly playing music. Night time. Rainstorm heavily hitting the glass window. In the midst of the bustle of the city where you live, in the heart of the metro, you enjoy the lone quiet nights in your studio apartment. A cozy Friday night with lights dim low. A kettle in the kitchen starts whistling for your tea.
Except…you’re not a tea drinker. And you are not alone. Sprawled in the sofa you just bought from IKEA a week ago, your back grates roughly against the fabric. A strange man cozies up above you. It’s too dark to recognize his face. He smells like tobacco, tea and jasmine, very sexy. His big hands are entangled in yours against the couch, squeezing it a little too hard as his lips trace your jaw. Maybe you’re liking where this is going, except that you couldn’t quite figure out who this man is. The last time you blacked out drunk was way back your college days, and you haven’t slept your way around? He was nibbling your neck now when you clumsily reached for the light switch of the lamp above you to get a look on his face—
—when your alarm goes off. God how you hate that iPhone alarm so much, even so when your phone screen says that it’s 9:00 AM on a Saturday and the alarm has been ringing since an hour ago alongside missed calls from Stephanie, your brand manager.
Shit. You’re late for the Saturday shoot!
“Fuck! Fuck!” You jolted out of bed and haphazardly prepared to leave in five…ten?! minutes for work. Call time is at 9. Steph’s in the location now, and calling you again.
You swung open the shower curtains after a few seconds to pick the call up. “Y/N. Where are you darling?”
“Hi. Small problem…I just got a ride, I’m sorry, nobody has been picking up my booking since 8:30!” You walked towards the window to pick up some external sounds, hoping she doesn’t notice that you’re nowhere near inside a car.
“The model’s here. And the photographer just started setting up. Hurry!”
“On my way. Do we have coffee?”
“Ordered for you. Latte with non-fat milk? See you!”
Just as you hang up, you hit your toe on the side table as you were putting on your black trousers. It was so painful that you kicked the table accidentally and the bulbless IKEA lamp on it fell with you. A great way to start your day. 
“Good-fucking-morning.”
Beside the table is a wide space you intended for a sofa that you have yet to get on your next paycheck. The lamp was the only thing you could afford then and you even forgot the bulbs that come with it. The sofa was so real in your dream—and even breaking it in with a stranger. Embarrassing. Even you are embarrassed with yourself. Maybe it’s time to dust off the cobwebs after five years of not dating. Wet dreams are kind of lonely at 27.
Your phone lit up again. A text message from Steph.
“The new studio is a bit farther than our last one :(“ She sent a map link. 
You sigh as you wear a black knit sleeveless top, clumsily put on socks and your white work sneakers before heading out. 
2. You flicked an eyeliner wing on your right eye just before the driver speeds up again as the traffic light turns green. You hope you looked decent today, given you’re meeting fellow professionals in the field. As an art director, you tell everyone what to do on set, and to nudge a bit of seniority, you have to look the part. Who would want to listen to someone who only took half a bath this morning? Disgusting.
“Wait, WHO are you getting intimate with?” A text message from Katy, your former business partner and friend. After a failed online fashion business five years ago, you remained friends buried in surplus stocks and dirty secrets. Yes, even the pathetic ones.
Bouncing a blush tint on your cheeks, you texted a reply. “No idea. I woke up when I was about to look at his face.”
Your phone lit up again. “Y/N, idk, maybe it’s time to get laid or something.” 
“Wow, you didn't need to remind me that. Catch you later, I have work :*” 
5 minutes away from the new studio after a swipe of peach-pink lipstick. A spritz of your signature perfume finishes your look—iris floral, powdery and aromatic. This routine sets you into “director mode”. You put a bit of hand cream for handshakes, and set your hair tangle-free on a sleek bun. You’re ready to work. The driver arrived at the studio compound, a vast complex of studio rooms with a common area on the first floor, and you ran out as soon as you could to look for the room for today’s shoot. 
“Studio 127 is it?” You asked yourself as you stopped at the studio door named Studio 127 to check Steph’s text message earlier. The door suddenly opened.
“Good morning!”
A tall figure looms from the door. Dressed in a crisp gray shirt, the first three buttons undone revealing his white undershirt inside. His dark washed jeans go for miles with his impossibly long legs. He greeted you with a knowing & sly smile, the corners of his lips curving upward as his cheeks pushed the comma of a strand of hair falling from his brushed up bob. What a beautiful man. You probably were out of it for a bit.
“Y/N? Right?”
You tried to open your mouth to reply, but barely anything came out.
“Hi! Uh…yeah?”
“Miss Stephanie is waiting for you inside.” He did that little smile again, almost mischievous. His nose scrunching up a little as he motioned inside the room before he headed out of the door.
What in the world? That was gorgeous. Confused and overwhelmed, you went inside and found Steph, tending to emails on her laptop. You approached her quietly and apologized.
“Steph, sorry I’m late.”
“No worries darling. We are just about to start. Check if the set is okay?” She hands you your latte and goes back to her emails.
You head over to the tables with props for the day after setting your bags down. A selection of flowers, fruit slices, and leaves. You’re directing materials for a skin care brand today—something fresh and bubbly. The model’s having her make-up done. And the backdrop and lights are all on stand by. Just as much as you love to catch your Saturday sleep in your apartment right now, you equally love playing at work. You make beautiful images, the possibilities are endless.
“After make-up, we can start right away. Will shoot the model first and the flatlays later.” Steph creeped on your side, probably done with half of her emails. 
“Sounds good to me.” You quickly scanned the studio. There was only Stephanie, the model and make up artist, and two guys prepping up reflectors and extra lights. “Where is the photographer though?” 
You turned your back to get your files when you bumped from a towering figure and almost fell. Something, someone, caught you on your back to stable you. To your surprise, it's the gray shirt, dark-washed jeans, long legs, slicked back hair-guy. From the door way earlier. 
“Oh there he is. John, this is Y/N. Our art director for today. Y/N, John, our photographer.” 
The tall guy gestured his hand for a handshake after Steph introduced you to each other. “Careful,” he said, as he slowly let go of your back, “and you can just call me Johnny.” He smiled, nose scrunching, smile reaching his eyes, hand still waiting for a handshake.
You swear that moment you might have seen a light coming from the sky and hear the choir angels sing. 
3. The assistant photographer, whom Johnny called Mark, accidentally switched the lights that blinded you crazy. Johnny motioned for them to readjust it as he went back to you to finish the awkward hand shake.
You shook his hand firmly. “Y/N. This is a nice studio” 
You could tell your dating game is rusting when all you could say to a handsome stranger is “This is nice studio.” No salt. No spice. Might as well say, and the weather is nice today.
“Oh thank you. It took a while.” He chuckled and humbly shrugged off his shoulders. He took his camera and prepped to start. “We should start in a while.” 
While waiting, you set up your things on the table overlooking the set where Steph is back again with her emails, fingers quick on keys after keys. It’s gonna be a long day. You took a sip of your latte and checked the photoshoot pegs on your tablet, looking forward to a drink tonight with Katy. You sure hope that this handsome photographer is as good as how he looks, checking his visuals again in disbelief.
He turned around and is heading to your table now, shit. Can he read minds?
Johnny approaches and leans towards you on the table. “We’re testing the lights, mind if you can sit in for us for a while?”
Sigh. Can’t he just let this Mark kid sit in for the light test? What’s taking for this makeup artist to finish so long anyway?! You would be so much happier with your coffee and emails but there’s something in his eyes that urges you to say yes.
“Oh. Okay.”
Didn’t even take him to ask twice. Y/N Weak-for-Attractive-Strangers Era.
You went straight in the middle of the set, an obnoxious Barbie pink backdrop, and sat on the stool in the middle. Your sharp black outfit is a striking contrast against the bubbly set of the teenage skin care brand. Johnny counted to three in every light adjustment and camera click. The lights make your face hot and you can hardly see anything. You were surprised to see the tall photographer looming over you again amidst the blinding lights and hunches over you.
“Just relax okay?” he chuckles coolly and adjusts a light on your side. You’re embarrassingly extra awkward in front of attractive people, at 27. He was about to go back to his position when he stopped across you and lowered towards you again, raising his hand over your face to fix a stray hair scuffling out of your sleek bun.
Closer, you could see a better picture of his handsomeness. The bright lights bring out his pool of honey brown eyes that look deeper when focusing, his jawline runs a perfect line. His nose flared up a little, giving an edgy touch despite his sunny smile. His shoulders are squared and broad, and his cuffed shirt sleeves show his toned up arms. Holding the camera makes him 10x more attractive, handling the gears and all, and it’s crazy. He smells good too, a perfume you are particularly fond of, like—tobacco, tea and…jasmine. 
Yup. Something as familiar as the scent of the stranger from your dream. The thought makes you start to sweat nervously.
“We’re ready!” the make up artist signals as you broke out of your trance. Johnny took his test shots, and looks happy with his set up. He lets you check if the test shots are well and you proceed to direct the shoot as soon as you give it a go.
——
“8 at the pub near your place!” Katy’s text message reads, as you put away discarded lemon slices from a flatlay. You love shooting stuff like these but the amount of garbage to put away is exhausting. Piles of wet backdrops are all over the place, from a series of product shots sprayed with droplets of water for that “fresh look”. You’re very much looking forward to a drink with Katy later when you get home.
“Need help with that?” Johnny approaches as you bunched up wet colored papers to put in the garbage bag. You urged him to go ahead. Now that he’s inches from you again, you remember how good-looking he is. You hope you’re not too obvious catching second looks at him throughout the day. He’s just so gorgeous.
The two of you discussed the shoot, output files, some minor corrections you needed, the works—while bagging wet backdrops and browning flowers. You close the last of the garbage bags and hand them to Johnny to bring it outside.
Your stomach is grumbling. Dinner and drinks with Katy sounds really good right now.
“Say, do you mind going for dinner after? It’s been a long day of work.” 
You are famished. But, suddenly? Although, you wouldn’t want to say no, for sure you’re working with them again in the future. Also no, especially not to a new supplier—with beautiful honey-glazed eyes.
“Sure. I guess Steph and I will wait for you guys downstairs.”
“Yeah. Let me lock the studio up and get the car.”
You were motioning to get your stuff when suddenly,
“Oh, and by the way, Steph headed out already and my assistants wanted to call it a night. So it’s just us two, if you don’t mind?”
4. “…if you don’t mind?”
Absolutely NOT, no—you do not mind being with a handsome acquaintance, but also, where the heck did Steph go without saying a word. Not to mention you were supposed to meet Katy. Better tell her now.
“Couldn’t make it tonight, sorry :(“
“NOOOOO. Why???” “You’ll understand me if you were in my shoes ;)”
You locked your phone with a smile. Katy would be dying to know what is up. At the same time, you received a text from Steph: “Sorry I have to run dear. Mommy duties.”
Putting your phone on your bag, a black SUV car pulled over the compound lobby. The passenger window pulled down and Johnny’s handsome face peeked out the window as he urged you to come in.
You settled on the passenger seat, trying to be your best normal self. You’re a confident woman—just not brazen enough—but definitely not the one to coyly act like a thirteen year old girl. It’s just that you’ve never been beside such a gorgeous man before and you quit on dating after a really bad breakup. Perhaps, you’ve also grown accustomed to the fact that men this good-looking pass you by—the football team star from your high school corridors, the president of your college org, the dream boy endorser from your photo shoots—you’ve never given them much thought because they simply do not catch your wave. So this is an uncharted territory. It’s embarrassing that you have to think of things like these in your late twenties.
“Does all-day breakfast sound good to you?” He asked, breaking the monotony of the sound of the car engine.
“How nice of you, I haven’t broken the fast yet!” You exclaimed, sarcastically, pointing out you being late earlier as your eyes narrowed playfully at him.
Johnny let out a throaty laugh, “That’s what you get for being late!”
That made the atmosphere less awkward. It seemed that his place in mind is a long drive, as Johnny put on some music from his phone. Late Night Talking by Harry Styles starts playing on the speakers.
No shit. Harry Styles is your jam. “Best album of 2022, in my opinion.” You proudly exclaimed. As a Harry Styles fangirl.
“Up for debate, but, taste.” His eyebrows arched in agreement.
The drive wasn’t as awkward as you expected it to be. Perhaps Johnny is a natural people-person—his forwardness balances out your stiff, introverted self. You don’t like talking that much, but you love conversations. Like this one you are having now, over chocolate-chip pancakes, sunny side up and sausages.
“I mean, at the end of the day, my goal is always to be happy.” He explained, maybe a bit too seriously as he rested his forearm on the table.
You just noticed a delicate sunflower tattoo etched on his fair skin. You didn’t expect him to go deep on your first proper conversation but you’re not complaining. You found out he doesn’t like complicating things. Life is simple and people just complicate it, he explains, his honey-brown eyes, decisive and deep into the conversation.
He pours creamer over your coffee with the sunflowered arm. You beg to disagree. “But don’t you think things aren’t always black and white?” He handed you a teaspoon as he pondered on a thought.
“Under certain circumstances, yes, but even if you drive mindlessly, don’t you always arrive at a destination?”
You jokingly heaved a heavy sigh and both of you bursted into laughter.
——
If I was a bluebird, I would fly to you You'd be the spoon Dip you in honey so I could be sticking to you.
“Still the best album of 2022, so far.” You scrunch your nose to Johnny, Daylight playing on the same album, as he pulls over at the lobby of your apartment building. 
Johnny scrunches his nose back “Good night, Y/N.” He bid as he smiled softly.
“Will let you know when I’m having the files sent to your office next week.” He added before you hop out of his car.
“Thanks Johnny.” You nodded and flashed him a smile before you hopped out of his car and he drove past the lobby driveway.
You were too preoccupied to notice that your soles are throbbing now in every step even in your work sneakers after a long Saturday work day. You dragged yourself out of the elevator, into your apartment and into a well-deserved hot shower to end the long work week.
5.  9:00 AM. Monday. Latte on your hand and face to face with your work station—which you did not miss. You just plopped in your chair in your cubicle when an equally not-able-to-Monday face appeared above you from the cubicle across. “What the fuck is a ‘millenial-core’???”
Jae, your best friend, sighed so impossibly like it’s the middle of the week. On one hand is a crumpled print-out of a job order. 
“Well, good morning Jae.” You handed him your latte. He’ll be needing it.
“Y/N, I thought we’ve seen the last of ‘millenials’ and ‘start-up cores’ in every client-briefing but they’re just evolving. They’re like Pokémons. Fucking fascinating.” Jae’s face disappeared from the divider between you two as he sips his second-hand latte. 
You laughed at his high-strung disposition. Some days, you two just switch places. Jae is like a male version of you. Stiff, sharp on the edges and is incredibly tired of work. You build walls around yourselves. It makes life and your job easier. You met five years ago in this office and people are convinced you’re twins separated at birth. Your friendship is cemented by sleepless nights, anger issues and crumpled job orders. 
“Same shit, different day Jae.” You quipped as you turned on your computer when your phone chimes. A text from Stephanie. “Darling, I’m out of a client meeting, could you kindly receive the files from last Saturday? Johnny’s assistant is sending them later today. Gave him your contact details. “Yup! No worries Steph.” You texted back as you plopped in your chair, breathing deeply as you went through the day’s tasks. —— There’s not much work for the week so you dressed prettily—beige linen square neck top and pants coords, pointed high heel slip-ons, hair tied in a loose bun. You plan to clock-out at exactly 5 to meet Katy for her gown fitting, before any last minute emails reach your inbox. Heading out, you skipped your steps out the elevator, onto Steph’s little errand and to get yourself a cup of coffee for an afternoon picker-upper. 
You arrived at the office building lobby scanning the area to meet the studio assistant who will hand you the files from the photoshoot when you sighted a tall figure busy on his phone. Black crew neck t-shirt tucked in his classic blue jeans. One watched hand, resting on his pocket. You know exactly who by the looks of those mile long legs—your heart doing somersaults like you just downed espresso shots. He lifted his gaze and his face lit up the moment your heels tapped closer to his direction.
He flashes you his signature sly smile as he meets you mid-walk. “Delivery for Y/N.” 
“I thought I’m meeting your assistant!” You smiled coyly as you remember how hard you’re crushing on him last weekend. Still so gorgeous. Since you’re in such a good mood today, maybe flirting a little wouldn’t hurt.
“I am supposed to be in this area today so I thought I’d bring it myself.” He handed you the hard drive. Beaming still, his hooded brown eyes were on you as you tried to act coy—turning your head into a certain angle like this or was it supposed to be the other way? No. Okay, stop. You look like you have an impending stiff neck.
“Are you alright?” He closed in on you, looking a little concerned—his eyebrows furrowing below the stray strand of his brushed-up hair. You were trying your charms on him and he thought you’re not feeling well. What charms exactly are we referring to? This is embarrassing.
“Yeah. I just needed to stretch.” You blurted out, hand on your neck heaving a sigh—maybe too much for someone fake hitting the keyboard keys pretending to be working in front of her computer all day. You wanted to lure him to be the one stretching you but we are lacking ability at the ‘getting laid department’ so you just gave up.“Where are you headed now?”
He tensed a little after your failed stretching stint. “Ahhh I’m done now. Done. For the day. I’m just, uhmm.” He fumbled his words for a while. Why was he suddenly so perplexed?
“You’re…just?” You looked at him, eyes rounded and earnest, waiting for his reply. Unbelievable. This is starting to feel funny now. You were trying your best to control a giggle.
“Coffee. I’m just, getting coffee. After...” He vaguely pointed out of the door of the building lobby. “Do you want to get coffee with me?” He nonchalantly finished his struggle with words. Like nothing happened.
You let out a laugh at this confusing encounter. Or sexual tension. Or whatever you two have at this moment. But you’re already there and into it. “I thought you’ll never asked.”
6.  Probably your favorite part of your office’s commercial complex is the quaint café just outside your building—The Daily Grind. It doubles as a specialty shop of vinyl records, film cameras and other analog hobbies. Records both old and new play in rotation everyday. The hardwood and metal furnishings give it a classic, homey touch. Some days, you and Jae would get work down here when the office is too toxic. It has been a witness of both of your professional breakdowns and angst. Nothing that coffee and good music couldn’t take care of.
This afternoon, Harry’s House album is playing. The baristas acknowledge the presence of a Harry stan.
I've never been a fan of change But I'd follow you to any place If it's Hollywood or Bishopsgate I'm coming too 
“One iced americano and one iced cafe latte for John!” The barista, Wendy, yelled out, breaking your trance from browsing crates and crates of vinyl records. Your happy place.
The two of you settled on a small table by the cafe window, just beside a rackful of films. Johnny took a sip of his americano, eyes fixated on the racks.
“Do you shoot film?” you asked as you sipped your latte, taking in his beauty up close again, music on the background and sunlight glowing from the window on his back. He is truly a very fine specimen.
“Sometimes yes, on special occasions. But I’ve been too busy lately.” His eyes crinkled as he took a sip. The music swells all over the café. You caught a faint whiff of his perfume as you sat across from him. Over your little chit chat, you found out that he’s just started his studio three years ago after quitting on his five years of advertising stint, his portfolio consisting of both conceptual and portrait shoots and he’s fond of street photography too. Steph found him through referrals, as your agency will be needing new suppliers. He has been taking pictures since high school—a school paper photojournalist. What a cute dork.
“So…” he pursed his lips, eyeing you cunningly, like there’s an impending joke somewhere, “...you are this kind of girl huh?” he quipped as he looked around the café.
“And what exactly does ‘this kind of girl' mean?” You asked sharply, eyes narrowing on him.
He shrugged his shoulders as he answered “You know, full-time agency girl but 2009 Tumblr girl inside, old soul, loves records—maybe a little too much…”
“Reads Sylvia Plath,” you interrupted him mid-sentence, and continued “drowning in existentialism. Makes playlists like it’s her job and romanticizes every bit of her life.”
Johnny’s eyes widened and raised his hands like he’s under arrest. “Hey, you said it yourself, not me.”
That threw both of you into a fit of laughter—your cheeks started to hurt. Johnny’s phone rang and excused himself for a moment to answer it, while you took a sip of your coffee and noticed a ghost-like presence by the window.
It was Jae walking from outside of the café witnessing you acting cute and funny with a guy. Oh god, no.
He froze by the window and mouthed his words to you. “What. The. Fuck?” Eyes wide. Mouth as round as the letter “O”. 
You, equally surprised and caught off guard, mouthed back your reply. “No. Go away.” as subtle as you can, hoping Johnny did not notice.
Jae’s lips pursed together, trying to hold back his laughter. He grabbed his phone, fumbled a message and hit send as he entered the café, to your dismay.
Your phone lit up and saw the notification. “In office hours? Really???” Idiot. You eyed him as he passed by your table quietly while raising his eyebrows as he proceeded to the counter to order.
“Hi. I’m a desert, idiot.” You texted him swiftly.
And he replied right away, “Hello. And I’m reporting you to our human resources department. *kisses emoji*” You could feel your friend creeping from behind you now again, this jackass knows the right time to pull his tricks on you. Please can he just leave you alone.
The idiot, with iced coffee on his hand slowly walked towards the door, taking big, noisy sips as he eyes you and Johnny. He smiles deviously, trying to hold back his laughter as he exits the cafe. This made you hold back a laugh too, biting your cheek as Jae walks back to the office, disappearing from your view.
Johnny just finished his call and looked at you. You flashed him a smile. He smiled back. Why does he have to be this handsome?
“I’m gonna ask you something,” he rested his chin on his hands, his brown eyes gazing at you. God this is making you sweat nervously again.
“Yes?” you asked, taking the last sip of your latte.
He locked his eyes on you, decisive and sure. “Do you want to go on a date?” 7.  “So is it a date, date?” Katy asked as she struggled in a gown that looks like a wedding cake from the 90s.
“You think so?” You asked in confusion while sprawled lazily on the bridal shop sofa. You cringed at the sight of the kitschy gown.
“No, not this. Can I try that one?” Katy pointed the sales assistant to a beautiful off-white organza gown with a v-neckline and flowy skirt. “You know you gotta stop with the self-love shit you’ve been doing for the past five years now, you’re growing cobwebs down under there. Stop being in denial.”
“I’m trying, okay? I like him a lot. It’s just, I have never been asked to go out with someone for a long time. So I was kind of caught off guard.” You were so into him until the moment he offered you to come to that art exhibit, now you’re just not sure.
“Your dating game is seriously rusty as fuck.” Katy muttered as she tried on the second dress. “What’s the problem? You were dazzled a week ago. He’s gorgeous, is making a living, seems interested in asking you for a coffee AND dinner—which you bailed me at, by the way. I think it's a date, DATE. And I think you should go!” she squeezed in on the organza dress and checked herself on the mirror.
“What if he’s just, you know, trying to make connections?” You asked as a matter of factly. Katy sighed heavily at you, fumbling the sleeves of the dress. You pointed at the dress she’s wearing. “That’s not it. Maybe the bridesmaid better wear it.”
“Maybe something this light but with a longer trail?” She squeezed out of the second dress again, rummaging on racks of white dresses. “Could be. Could be not. Y/N, you wouldn’t know why he invited you if you wouldn’t meet him and mingle, to see for yourself.”
Katy sounded serious now. You have never fully opened up yourself for someone since your last relationship. You broke down in front of her too many times because of your ex, she wished she saw the last of it. In her heart, she would love for you to find someone who will never let you go through the same misery again. And she was right that things are worth the try, and you would love to try. It’s just too many giving, too much asking for taking, and lots of losses when things don’t work out
“And for what it’s worth, you can just enjoy your little art exhibit thing, date or not.” Katy urged the sales assistant to zip her closed. She was right, again.
“Hand me that bridesmaid dress.” You extended your arms and opened your hand for the off-white organza gown your friend tried earlier. 
Katy hesitated, clad only with her girdle and underwear, she walked towards you and cupped your cheek, “Yours, but it comes as a set, ma’am. Only if you take it with a tall, gorgeous man.”
8. You and Johnny shared champagne glasses, laughs and a good time in every foyer of the art exhibit. It was a magnificent curation of botanical art both traditional and contemporary. You wish you had a photographic memory to capture all the beautiful work. You come across an oil painting of modern red poppies against an off-white field—that would look very pretty on the bare walls of your apartment. The red orange hue evokes so much energy and happiness. You check every new foyer of work skipping with so much delight, sometimes forgetting it’s a formal event. Your slip dress with a cowl neckline is the same color as champagne, hugging you in just the right places, falling just a few inches below your knee. You tied your loose curls together with a gold clip, strands falling along your cheeks. You finished your look with a pair of nude stilettos. Johnny looks nothing less fancy as well. He walks along the gallery floor in his rust-colored silk shirt tucked in this tailored black slacks. The sleeves of his shirt are a bit oversized, hanging loosely from his shoulders. He looks as smooth as a shot of whiskey, the soft fabric mirroring his every move. His hair sleekly brushed up like on your first meeting, a few strands falling down his face, of course. He looked magnificent as the artworks around you, sculpted by the gods.
People are discreetly throwing him second looks earlier when he passes by. “Y/N, here!” You heard Johnny and turned your back. His phone camera clicked as you turned around. He laughed at his candid creation. “Hey!” You reached out for his phone. He took a snapshot of you in front of a gold-colored sculpture of a rose in bloom standing in all its glory in the middle of the last foyer. As an art director, you hate uncurated photos of you. But Johnny won’t let you see his phone. “Hey!” he said playfully, trying to change the subject. “It feels stuffy in here, do you want to go to the studio for a little bite and a few drinks? I’ll order something, my treat!”
—— If the stars were edible And our hearts were never full Could we live with just a taste? Just a taste
Somehow, after all the champagne, you found yourself steadying on a stool placed in the middle of a black backdrop. The two of you decided to take a breather from the formal event and continue the drinks in his studio. Johnny was too enthusiastic to take photographs, tonight of all days.
“Alright, you ready?”
“Yeah, whatever Johnny, just,” You couldn’t think straight. Your champagne dress is all creased now. The gold clip barely holds your hair together. Nowhere near looking well at getting your photograph taken. But Johnny insists.
Johnny starts clicking away, as you candidly do random poses. Whatever feels natural, he says. He took a few more shots, sometimes letting out exaggerated praises a photographer would say—and it made you laugh. He took the iris flower you snitched from the exhibit centerpieces earlier and asked you to improvise with it. A few more clicks, and you rested the flower in between your nose and lips as you closed your eyes. The drinks are really starting to get on you too fast and the lights on your face start to get hotter than it is. The studio grew silent between you two. You open your eyes to see Johnny putting down his gear and walking towards you.
“Let me fix your hair.” Johnny walked towards you, trying to tuck the strands from your messy bun back. Perhaps he was a little bit too close, but you caught a whiff of his perfume again—tobacco,tea, and jasmine, and the scent fills you up. He caught your eyes, misty from all the drinking, but looking straight into his. You tensed, and maybe held the iris on your hands too tightly than you should, crushing the stem on your palm.
Johnny held your gaze, only the iris flower in between your faces. His eyes linger on your face as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. His hand gently travels on the crook of your neck. With unsure fingers hovering on your nape, he untied your hair, your dark brown locks falling down in waves.
Something in his gesture made you unclench the iris flower, the white blossoms falling on the ground. The air between you two fills with the scent of your perfume—iris, powdery and sensual. Eyes still locked with Johnny, you could see his gaze trail down your lips as his hands caressed your neck. His eyes tender, glimmers faintly as you hear each other’s breaths. He inches closer, careful but certain, and you stood up to meet his forwardness. You wrapped your hands on his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.
His soft, warm lips sent you into a spiral. You laced your hands on his broad shoulders, and his hands, both of them now, clutched gently your neck. You were overwhelmed with desire, your fingers dug deep into the collars of his shirt, prying the buttons open. His silk sleeves slid off his left shoulder revealing a beautiful lavender tattoo on his left chest. 
His hands crawl at the curves of your waist, sliding through the silk fabric of your dress as he gently pulls you closer. They brought tingles in your spine. Chest to chest, he kisses with intent—taking quick pauses to gasp for air and takes you in again. You melted into him, you are crazy, crazy about this guy.
After a long breathless kiss, he pulls away from you, his soft eyes clear as day, as he says “Y/N, I—”
His phone buzzes from the table across the set. And it buzzed. And buzzed again. Johnny ignores it and leans towards you again to kiss, hands tensing on your neck. You would like to continue this respectfully but his phone won’t stop buzzing. You pulled away from his moist lips and smiled at him with hazy eyes “I think you better take that call, Johnny.” Johnny furrowed his brows and sighed, as he rested his forehead on yours for a while and eventually excused himself to take the call.
9. “Ouch!” you yelled to Jae, who was sprawled on your newly bought sofa—laptop resting on your coffee table. You picked up the bag of chips he threw towards you that landed straight to your head. “The heck is wrong with you!”
“I did not want to intrude on your sticky thoughts but you’ve been zoning out while smiling for the past half hour.” he mimicked you for a while and chuckled as he went back to his business on his laptop. “Sorry, I was a bit distracted.” You told him shyly and scrunched your nose. He was aiming at you with a piece of cookie now, “Okay, okay I’m gonna stop now. Going back to work now. Relax. And that sofa is new!”
Jae threw the cookie on the table and took off his silver round glasses. The two of you have been working straight for twelve hours now, preparing a creative presentation for an upcoming shoot. “That’s exactly how you looked when I caught you red-handed in The Grind. Disgusting.” he laughed again as he stood up to get this fourth cup of coffee for the day. You flashed him a sour look. “It’s the first time I’ve dated again after a long time, geez why can’t you just be supportive.” Not a single romantic bone in his body. You rolled your eyes on him as you threw your hoodie on your head and worked on your presentation again. “I’m supportive!” He approached you across the dining table where you’re working and put down a cup of coffee for you. He threw back the hood of your hoodie. “Happy for you, really. I’m just not used to it. We’re so used to being miserable together it felt weird seeing you all smiley and shit.” He took a sip.
You punched him on the arm as you took the coffee cup and took a swig. Jae continues, “You lucky idiot. Y/N finding an attractive, self-sufficient and single guy, in these trying times? A once in a lifetime event. A character development.” Your best friend messed up your hair and flashed you a genuine happy smile like he just sent his daughter to graduation. You smiled at him back and meant to reply. “Aww thanks Jae. Really he’s…” you stopped at your thought. Wait, you haven’t thought of this so much because things went by so fast. But Jae’s words made you think, thoughts, and have been thinking. But holy crap. “...he’s single, right?”
——
A small concern with how the engine sounds We held darkness in withheld clouds I would ask, "Should we just keep driving?"
Even the music in the studio couldn’t calm down your nerves. Your nervousness is off the roof, and you feel like your big breakfast is making a comeback. Johnny’s assistants, the kid named Mark and another trainee called Andy, were setting up and the brand manager of today’s clients are seated on the table with Stephanie. A model was getting her hair and make-up done at the other side of the studio. You were pacing back and forth by the studio couch where Jae was sitting down, scrolling on his phone.
He looked up to you and he silently mumbled as your eyes met “Y/N, sit the fuck down. Jesus Christ.” Soon as you sat beside him, you started restlessly shaking your right leg. 
Jae put down his phone and rested a hand over your right leg and whispered “I get that you’re incredibly nervous if you’ve hooked up with an un-single man, but…” he brings his face closer to you “...we have a client on site today so calm yourself down.”
He was right. It’s a big project for a high-profile client. You can’t mess this shoot up, not with Jae and Steph, and especially not because you were sucking faces with the photographer in charge. Jae’s hand still rests above your leg, tapping you to calm you down.
Speaking of the photographer, Johnny was nowhere to be seen. You haven’t seen him since you arrived. You haven’t talked so much as well after the night at this studio, only a few short exchanges slightly better than saying today’s weather is fine. Nothing clarifying what you two are or where you are at. This made you more nervous if you unceremoniously invited yourself in the side-chick department. Your short summary of the tragedies of your ex-lovers, or the lack thereof, ran briefly in your mind like an after credits scene.
Was he really just busy or not much of a texting type of person? Wouldn’t he invite you to the exhibit if he has someone else in mind? Or was he really just looking for a side fling? As Jae would have said, “Men are trash, and I am apologizing for their behalf.”
“Sorry! I’m here now!” Johnny entered the studio clad in his usual work get-up—a white shirt cuffed at the sleeves, three buttons undone, his dark washed jeans. His hair, fresh and brushed up as always. To your surprise, an equally attractive woman arrives with him, dressed in a beige jumpsuit with a stylish neckerchief, her brown stiletto heels clicking on the studio floor. Her long shiny hair falls past beyond her tiny waist.  She and Johnny walked towards Steph and the client as he introduced her to them, “This is our stylist for today, Irene.” 10. “Just wanted to let you know…” Jae mumbled beside you, his white cheeks full like a white peach after biting a mouthful of pizza, “you are absolutely no match, visuals wise, but I’m still on your team.”
You furiously hit his face with an open palm, causing him to choke on a bite. You poured him a soda on a plastic cup and handed it to him, “I know and you don’t need to rub it in my face idiot.” 
Jae cleared his throat after washing it with soda. “Why are you so pressed at me?” He explained with a slice of pizza on hand, “I just told the truth but I’m still on your team.”
You rolled your eyes on him and put the paper plate with a pizza slice on the armchair. Your stomach is still doing cartwheels, so you don’t have an appetite at all. You and Jae are squeezed on the studio couch as you are trying to avoid any interaction with Johnny and the ghost of Audrey Hepburn—who’s eating lunch in front of Johnny’s computer browsing at photos and sharing a few laughs. You don’t know the deal with them yet, but they are a sight to see. 
You heaved a deep sigh and turned to Jae, “I feel so ugly and fucking stupid Jae.”
“Okay, sorry, but stupid for getting messy with someone you work with? Uh-huh.” he nibbles on a pizza crust, and continued “But seriously, Y/N, you don’t know what they are yet. So maybe, unclench a little.” He stood up to put his trash away.
Your mood has been rock bottom since this morning, and you are certainly not yourself at all. Your stomach is still churning from all the stress of work and this Johnny situation. It’s a good thing Jae is co-directing you today, he compensates for the things you miss for being so out of focus. And he interacts with Johnny today instead of you.
You heaved a sigh and motioned to stand up when suddenly Johnny sat on the now empty space beside you. “Hey, you.” His mouth curled into a smile. “Are you okay?”
It was a busy day and this is the first time he approached you directly. He’s probably seen you sighing since morning. “Hey.” You answered him forcing a smile. He held your arm gently and was going to say something when the stylist, Irene, approached you two.
“Y/N is it?” the ghost of Audrey Hepburn asked, her smile lighting up her whole face. You nodded in reply. “Johnny told me a lot about working with you.”
She was so pretty, straight from a classic Hollywood movie kind, and pleasant, it’s hard to hate her at all. The goddess continues, “I hope you enjoyed the exhibit, couldn’t make it that day so I told him to bring another friend instead.”
The exhibit? You turned your head to Johnny, and he is just smiling at you as Irene keeps on talking. You turned your head to Irene again, but you couldn’t hear a thing. You are putting the pieces together on the spot, faster than you would put up a creative mood board. All you can think about is the “you”, enjoying the exhibit as the “friend brought instead”. 
——
“Hmmm, no. The posture is off and the lighting changed a bit harsher? Please check.”
Jae was art directing Johnny at lightning speed, onto their 10th and last lay-out for the day. You crept on Jae’s side and whispered to him, “Hey.”
“Hey, what?” he responded, eyes fixed on the monitor updating with photographs everytime Johnny clicks the camera. He was single-handedly directing the shoot now, after telling him the exhibit story. Jae was kind enough to let you rest, despite the petty reason for your mini-mental breakdown. But you were feeling really sick now, and you needed Jae to SOS. 
“I’m not feeling so good.” you whispered to Jae, that made him look at your pale face in panic right away. Perhaps that was a little loud for a whisper, because Johnny was eyeing you now, in between clicks as Irene fixes the model’s outfit. Jae held your left arm steadily, “I told you to sit down, why are you stand—“
You saw light flash before your eyes before Jae could finish his sentence, and everything turned into black.
——
You opened your eyes, greeted by the cityscape from your apartment window. You adjusted in your bed and noticed Jae sitting on your sofa from across. He dozed off already, you checked the time on your phone: 2:00AM. The last sane memory you had was collapsing in the studio, Jae catching you just in time. And maybe gaining consciousness in the ER only to drift away again.
“Hey, Jae.” Jae was on his toes right away, as soon as he realized you woke up, he walked towards your bed, yawning. “It’s late, go home.”
Jae nodded, and with half-closed eyes he briefly gave you a refresher of your blackout that landed you to the ER. Apparently, you were having a really bad case of acid reflux hence the extreme weakness and stomach churning—the sleepless nights and endless stressing out got in you. Jae knew of your slight anxiety, undiagnosed and not quite there yet but the doctor said it must have triggered that too.
“No coffee for your tummy and anxiety,” Jae messed up your already messy hair, “and no stress. I’ll take care of today’s work and Steph will take care of your days off. Don’t worry about it.”
“Thanks Jae.” You were a bit stronger now so you squeezed him in a hug. 
He patted your back. “Wash up and take a rest.” You nodded at him and accompanied him to the door. 
Jae turned back from the doorstep, “And Y/N?” he held on to the knob of your door’s apartment, and continued “He was worried as hell, for you. Contact him soon.”
“Huh?” Jae winked at you and smiled as he quickly left the door before you could even ask any more questions. Was he referring to Johnny? Did they talk?
So many questions in your head as you took a quick shower before heading to bed. The warm water on your skin relaxed you and melted today’s restless thoughts. You bathed with your calming lavender gel, which you love using on stressful days. You were looking forward to snuggling in your blankets after putting on a pink silk camisole and shorts.
The doorbell ringing startled you amidst the loud noise of your hairdryer. Did Jae leave something? His keys perhaps? You hurriedly threw a white oversized hoodie over your camisole to answer him. 
Johnny’s tall figure surprised you outside your doorway. “Y/N, hey, uhm…” he greeted you clumsily, in a hurry to explain, “Jae helped me pass by the lobby, I just, can we talk?”
Jae did what? You will need him to give you an explanation. And really, at 2 in the morning?
“Okay I guess, uhm, come in, it’s cold.” He looked restless and cold, his hair undone and fluffy—different from when you would see him at work. He was wearing just a pair of thin black lounge pants and slip ons, his hoodie the only thick clothing keeping him warm. “Want me to make you a cup of coffee?”
You went straight to the pantry of your studio apartment, Johnny following you inside. You meant to offer him to sit down but he was already at you in the pantry before you even got to grind the beans. He held you gently on your right arm as your back rested on the counter.
“Look, I wanted to say sorry Y/N.” Johnny looked at you with pleading eyes.
This is a lot to take at 2am so you tried to recollect your thoughts of what happened today as quickly as possible—alright, blurred lines, arriving with an insanely gorgeous lady, you incessantly overthinking the real deal between you two. If things didn’t bother you a lot, and if the kiss you two shared was really nothing but just a kiss, then maybe you needed to unclench and just call it a day. People hook up. Be an adult about it. Your fainting episode gave you a lot of headspace to clear things out.
“But Johnny…” You seriously thought he had nothing to be sorry about.
“No, I mean, I was never clear from the start.” He continued. “I might have confused you a lot, when I took shortcuts—“ his eyes are on the floor.
What is he talking about now? This is making you sweat under your oversized hoodie.
“I never made my intentions clear. So let me fill up the gaps—“ he is absolutely acting strange.
His eyes are fixated on you now, two honey-brown circles looking through you amidst your apartment’s dim lights. “I thought maybe I liked you when we first met. That afternoon, I just wanted to see you. I wanted to take you to coffee. And I want to take you on a date. But that one night I might have blurred the lines, might have thought to take it slow and test the waters, but earlier today—yesterday, I thought, yes, maybe I like you a lot more than I thought I did. Maybe, when I saw you in the same room with me, talking to someone else, maybe I would like to talk with you too, everyday. When you do not feel well, maybe I want you to tell me right away. Maybe I wanted to take things slow, but I was wrong, and I’ll go crazy if I don’t do this now—in fact, you know, fuck maybes. Because I’m sure, I’m sure I like you a lot and more Y/N. I just get sidetracked sometimes because God, you’re so beautiful. Even I, am confused with myself. Shit.” 
Johnny was trying to catch his breath as he bared his most vulnerable side to you yet, all his cards on the table. Under the dim lights he was searching for an answer on your face. 
You didn’t hesitate to let him wait, you held his hand and leaned closer, “But Johnny, I like you a lot, and more, too.”
11.  Do you think I'm cool, too? Or am I too into you? Tell me what you want and you got it, love I want all of you, gimme all you got
Johnny’s eyes lit up and his lips curved into a smile as he leaned closer for a kiss. He was flushed after his confession, his lips felt warm as he tasted you biting your tender lips, his tongue gently discovering your mouth. 
You like him a lot. You want him. Fuck it! You pulled away from the kiss and put all your cards on the table “Please stay over?” 
Him kissing you back will suffice for a reply, his weight pushes you against the counter as his hands travel your hips, slowly crawling your back, and down again to the slopes beneath your satin shorts. In an instant, his strong hands lifted you up the kitchen counter, letting you wrap your legs onto him tightly.
Your skin against his skin sends electric shocks all over your body. You thought, this must be how fireworks feel. Your heart pounds quickly as your eyelashes brushed together, hearing each other’s breath—the only sound in your dead quiet apartment. He smelled like soap, but you caught a faint whiff of tobacco and jasmine—his perfume that you love. You laced your hands at the crook of his neck to bring him closer again, kissing his lips a bit harder this time, clutching the fabric of his hoodie tighter—wanting to relish the moment but wanting to discover some uncharted parts of his body, right away, at the same time.
Johnny broke from your tight, breathless kiss to plant warm quick kisses on your chin, tracing your jaw, giving him soft and gentle moans as his lips met parts of you he never met before. He smells the lavender on your skin. His hands searched the hem of your oversized hoodie and took it off as he found it, revealing the silk pink camisole, the only thing you are wearing underneath. He sighs and marvels at the sight of you, “So beautiful”, the soft dim light falls gracefully at your flushed face—your breasts rising up and down in every deep breath, nipples hardened against the silk. Your loose curls fall at the bare skin of your shoulders, a strap of the camisole sliding off from one shoulder.
His lips continue from where he left and freely traces your neck, slowly kissing down until he reaches the slopes of your breasts. You let out a soft moan again as he mouthed a nipple, toying it with his tongue against the silk, his hands gripping tightly your waist and the other one softly massaging your other breast.
“Johnny, I…” You buried your head in his thick jet black hair, letting out gentle little cries as he took turns playing with the twins of your nipples, tasting the bare one where the strap slid off. He licked and sucked, throaty moans escaping his lips.
He went back to give you a kiss again after your camisole was drenched, and you held his hoodie tightly to take it off, too, pulling the thin undershirt beneath it as well. The lights in the kitchen make his fair skin glisten, highlighting the bumps and edges of his sculpted pecs and abs. You held his neck tightly, crushing your lips into his, his hands traveling from your waist, back and forth your legs, pulling them apart a little. Your kisses become rapid and short, as his right hand crawls beneath your silk shorts to feel the bare skin underneath, and into your pussy, dripping in desire.
Johnny looked at you with eyes dark and deeper now, “Tell me when it feels good, dear.” He watches your face as his fingers caress your wet clit, touching them first tenderly and slowly building up, going harder and then gentle again.
You closed your eyes as he hit a sensitive spot, “That—that feels good, Johnny,” and he noticed how you shifted and curled up as he played with the same spot. “Like this?” he whispered softly as he pecked your ears, his fingers still discovering you under , “Yes, please—“ you answered as he fingers you in a precise motion, suddenly quickening the phase as he watches you let out little cries, eyes watering as you held steady on his sculpted chest.
Johnny quickly dug his fingers inside you deeper, and you felt close to coming when he pulled you in again on passionate kiss, his core hardened against your drenched gem. He lifted you from the kitchen counter in one swift motion, and brought you to your bed, putting you down gently like a rare artifact. His big hands caught the garter of your silk shorts and slid it down slowly from your legs. 
Beads of sweat start to form and stream on his temples now, as well as his bare neck and chest. He pecked you on the lips and whispered again, “Now let me know where to kiss, dear.” he smiled and went down at your feet, kissing and tracing your left leg. He planted quick kisses on your inner thighs too, and then jumped just beneath your navel. His hands are tracing lines on your inner thighs, as he slowly descends to your wet, and waiting pussy. He kissed and licked the outer folds gently. In between his flat tongue brushing your folds, he would give you a little suck. You might have let out a loud whimper when he hit a sweet spot during his ordeal.
He paused and asked you in his shallow breathing, “Are your walls soundproof?”
“Uhmm, no.” Both of you laughed as you rose to give him a kiss, his lips still wet from his kisses down low.
He pulled you closer, his hands gentle on your neck “I’ll keep it easy then.” he smiles and gives you a peck, his hands fondling you inside your camisole again.
“I’ll keep quiet.” As you kissed him back. Towering over him, you put your arms on his shoulders as your hands swam his thick black hair. His lips traced your shoulder blades and into the curve of your shoulder. Your hands traveled the highway of his back, your nails slightly scratching on his skin as you struggled to reach for the waist of his lounge pants. Johnny stood up in an instant and swiftly kicked it off.
He knelt on the edge of your bed frame and positioned you on top of him, your hands curling on his nape for support. In the darkness of your apartment with only the kitchen light on, you could only make out a faint image of his face, but you could hear his deep erratic breaths and you could feel his manhood getting harder as you sat atop of him. His honey eyes glimmer faintly in the dim light, his hands with a life of their own under your camisole as he kisses you deeply, lips red and swollen. You gently rocked atop of him as you kissed, and Johnny let out a sharp deep moan as you bit his lower lip. You could feel yourself wetting him and soiling the bed sheets. But that is the least of your concern now.
“Johnny, I—” your lips parted moistly, you called for him as you gasped for air. “Yes, love?” he eyes you, brown eyes hooded in lust as you rock him back and forth. His hands are playing your breasts, squeezing it hard when you rock into him harder. “I—I need you to make me come, Johnny.” you struggle to say your words. It might have been the bed rocking or your limbs might be shaking now. Riding him made you weak on your knees, the pleasure pulsating all over your body.
Johnny moaned beautifully at your request. “I will, love.” he lifted you a little as his hands traveled down your dripping folds, “Already so fucking wet.”
You squirmed at hearing him talk dirtily. He hasn't done a lot yet but you want to break down the walls of your apartment. He briefly played your folds and planted a kiss on your nose as he whispered “No yelling.”
He lifted you closer to his body as he angled his tip on your dripping, womanly mess. He gently entered your folds as you let out a subdued moan, trying to keep quiet, panting as he entered you inch by inch. Johnny let out a deep throaty sigh as you tightened around his shaft. He lifted you up and down with him inside of you, urging you to follow suit. When you got a hold of it, quick, erratic moans in between, he held one hand on your hips, and one gripping your neck.
Your mind is all over the place. Your hands frantically trying to hold on to his broad shoulders, your right hand gripping the dark rose flower tattoo on his bicep. In a pleasurable agony, you tried your best to stop from your sudden whimpers as Johnny pushes you in deeper. When you push, Johnny pushes harder. Back and forth, you can feel him growing inside longer as he hits your spot.
“Johnny, fucking hell!” you yelped in surprise. He covered a strong hand over your mouth, “Fuck,” he whispered with a smile “baby...don’t yell.”
Shaking and panting as you feel closer to your climax, Johnny laid you down on your back, teasing you with his tip, in and out, only to go deep into you again on one precise thrust. He moves in and out of you in a steady phase. His hands still covering your mouth, faint whimpers escaping in his every push. His deep panting and your little cries fills the silence of the room. You two smell of sweat and each other’s perfume. He leaned on your face, the pupils of his brown eyes dilated and sweat trickling from his forehead, he whispered “Are you coming now, baby?”
He takes his right hand off your mouth, intertwining his fingers to yours as he pins your hand against the mattress, his phase now going fast in irregular beats. “I’m yes… baby go faster…please!” you can barely answer him back, you’re starting to see light flashing before your eyes as he continuously thrusts back and forth. Your free hand is holding tightly to the bed sheet.
He held your neck gently as he looked straight into your eyes, “Now…baby?” he asks, eyes fluttering in pleasure as the two of you let out feral, beastly moans.
“Yes Johnny, I’m coming, I’m—” there were stars in your eyes before you finished, Johnny thrusting one last, strong push. 
Johnny moaned under his breath, his eyes shut tightly in pleasure on his release. You could feel your insides squirming, your toes curling against your bed sheets which you are certain you soiled greatly—it felt like there’s a sea down there. He collapsed at the crook of your neck, panting like mad. You could feel yourself still pulsating after he pulled out from you. Your insides felt bare and raw.
It was like this for a few minutes, both of your panting in a chorus. You left hand still pinned in his, you brought your right hand on his back and gently ran fingers through his sweaty skin. He lifted his face above to see yours—flushed and sweat glistening under the dim light. He tucked strands of your hair sticking on your face beneath your ear and smiled at you softly.  
Johnny kissed your forehead and said with eyes, half-closed in exhaustion, “So pretty…my little freak.” 
12. You woke up with a headache, and Johnny, curled up beside you in your bed. You dozed off like a baby against his broad chest. The sun lit your apartment from the window. It must be 8:00 AM now or so.
You buried your face against his chest with a smile. He was softly snoring on your pillow. You wished you could wake up like this everyday. Not minding the time and the achy sores the day after. Okay, maybe not the walls-banging, passionate sex everyday, you thought, as you decide to climb out of bed, knees weak like jelly.
You found your discarded silk shorts at the foot of your bed and picked them up to wear as you walked half-asleep towards your pantry to grind beans. The headache is killing you. You roasted the coffee on autopilot—like how you would everyday. The delicious smell climbed up your nose. You were yawning as you poured yourself a cup, just as you heard movements from the direction of your bed.
“Doctor said no coffee.” Johnny said from the edge of your bed, putting on his lounge pants eyes half closed. 
Oh right, you remembered Jae’s long list of do’s and don’ts from the doctor. You almost forgot yesterday’s ER episode. 
Johnny walked towards you at the counter, “Morning, babe.” he pecked you on the lips, “Sorry I kept you up last night.” he smiled and collapsed in you clumsily still half-asleep.
“Good morning Johnny.” You wrapped your arms around him, still sleepy as well. Johnny took the cup of coffee you placed on the counter and took a drink. He exhaled deeply and untangled from your embrace to get a glass to fill with water from your refrigerator. “No coffee, tea or any drinks that will cause you flare ups.” he said as he handed you the glass of water.
You took a drink. So he was with Jae at the ER last night, but you didn’t see him when you gained consciousness. He probably went home only to go back again to confess. Your stomach flutters as you remember the things that happened after, last night.
“I’ll make you breakfast, you can go and wash up while I do.” Johnny said, his eyes checking the food supply in your refrigerator.
—— The 9am sunlight hits your dining table beautifully. Johnny sat beside you after a quick shower, strands of his hair occasionally dripping, wearing his oversized hoodie. You shared a plate of veggie omelette. The warmth of the morning sun is comforting. Time seems slower when you don’t have to rush to work on a weekday.
You take a minute to see if this moment is real. It’s been a long time since you’ve been this calm and quiet. Let alone with a man you’re crazy about who’s equally crazy about you too. You pinched Johnny on the leg and he surprisingly winced in pain, the omelette in his fork came shooting in the air. Yup, definitely not another dream.
“Ah! Baby, it’s too early.” He playfully said as his broad arms tried to cover his chest coyly. You bursted into laughter.
“Ah this guy!” finally recovering, you continued, “I’m just checking.”
“Checking what?” he suddenly looks at you with a serious face, his honey-glazed eyes with a hint of concern.
“Checking to see if this is real. If you ARE real.” you stared at him with calm eyes, your fingers combing his air up so the water won’t drench his clothes.
Hearing this, Johnny leans into you closer and gives you a quick kiss. He asks you with searching eyes right after, “Does it feel real now?”
You gave him a sly smile, “I’m not sure, I think I need to check again.” your eyebrows feigning uncertainty. 
He was quick to catch you, planting countless kisses on your lips, and asked “Not real yet?” trying to look a little disappointed.
“Nooooo, not yet.” You frowned on him playfully. Growing impatient, he leaned again closer, his left hand gently touching your neck as he closed his eyes and kissed you softly.
He parted from your lips and stared at you with his clear honey eyes, “It’s real. You and I make it real.”
——
You asked for a three day leave at work to rest. On the second day, Johnny had a scheduled photoshoot and couldn’t come to your place so you played records and napped like a baby all day. On the third day, you felt like a plant growing roots on your bed. You tried calling Jae to let you in on what he's doing in the office but he hung up on you and insisted you rest today and think of nothing. 
Johnny wanted to restock your fridge “with actual food that's not egg or bread,” so he took you to the market after a morning schedule. He was filling the grocery cart full and you needed to stop him because you barely eat at home on work days. He insisted he’s going to be around a lot and if you’re not cooking, he would.
He threw a chocolate-chip pancake mix on the cart, “Let’s eat this tonight.” and rolled over to the next aisle to get a bottle of syrup.
“Johnny, it’s 6PM.” you confusingly inform him, as you try to catch his big strides. 
You caught up to him rolling over the freezers of frozen goods, serious as hell trying to find what he’s looking for, “Baby, help me find the sausages.” 
Now searching a freezer full of varieties of frozen meat doing as he says, you poked at him “we’re eating breakfast tonight I see.”
He threw a bag of breakfast sausages on the cart and closed the freezer as he tapped your cheeks, urging you to follow him. “Yeah, like what we had on our first date.”
You stopped on your tracks, surprised and confused. The all-day breakfast was the day you two first met. “The art exhibit was our FIRST date.” You told him, like how you would correct someone wrong, Miss I’m-Never-Wrong.
Johnny turned around to walk back to you, eyes dead serious, the heels of his boots making sounds on the cereal aisle. “The art exhibit was the THIRD. Your favorite coffee shop is the second.”
“The breakfast dinner was the day we first met!” you said in a matter-of-factly way, as you get a box of Fruit Loops and place it neatly on the cart. 
“I know. And I also asked you out to dinner.” he quipped back, checking out the cereal boxes on the shelf. 
Your mouth was agape in surprise, “Whoa, Johnny Suh, ain’t that too fast?” you playfully punched his chest.
He smiled at you. “It was an instinct. I thought, ‘Hey, I might like this girl.’ and a dinner and a whole album later, I was right. Told you, I’m decisive and I don’t like complicating things. I just got distracted a little.”
And you remembered that. Johnny winked at you and placed a box of Frosted Flakes on the cart. The tiger character at the box giving you a thumbs up.
——
Johnny was snoring softly beside you, as you scroll through your phone in the dark. You wanted to make the most of your last day before going back to work and he wanted to sleepover. You adjusted your phone’s light so you won’t wake him up.
You had a lovely day. The two of you had breakfast for dinner, talking over some things you haven’t talked about yet—like him being the only child and his parents staying abroad, him finishing a degree in advertising, and Irene, the ghost of Audrey Hepburn, being almost like an older sister who guided him as he started out his studio. She knew Johnny wanted to take “a girl named Y/N” on a date so she got Johnny the exhibit invites.
You now cringe at the thought of having a mental breakdown because of Irene. You continued scrolling to ease the embarrassment away, as Johnny in his sleep, wrapped an arm around you. 
It hasn’t fully sunk in yet that you have a gorgeous, kind, and talented man as your boyfriend. You remembered the snapshot of you he sent earlier, from the art gallery. He perfectly captured you turning after he called your name—the moment your lips were forming into a smile as your eyes caught a glimpse of him. Your back curved in motion, the strands of your hair gracefully flying mid-air. Your dress sheened like champagne, and the magnificent gold rose sculpture seemingly blooms from you at the back. Undoubtedly, you are Johnny Suh’s muse.
You’re happy in this photograph—a core memory. You immediately opened Instagram to compose a post. This deserved a square on your curated grid. And maybe, subtly introduce Johnny to your small, humble world.
You captioned the photo with a camera and heart emoji and tagged Johnny, and pressed post. In a minute, your nosy friends flocked on your notifications. The ones who get it, get it.
You pulled a blanket on top of you and Johnny, and checked the notifications before finally tucking in. 
Irene liked your post. Katy liked your post and left an eye and heart emoji. Steph left a like too. 
Jae was having a field day in the comments section: “Wait a minnet *eyes emoji*”, five clapping emojis, and finally “Happy for you, bestie. *smile and heart emoji*
You were about to put your phone down to sleep when a red bubble notification with a heart and “1” appeared. You checked to see who was happy to hear the news.
“Kun Qian liked your post.” You froze, and pins and needles started running through your body.
12. Your phone’s display lit up as you raised it to check the time. 8:25 AM. The digits sit on the foreground of your wallpaper: Johnny sitting by your dining table with a coffee mug on hand and the morning sun hitting his face, one of his eyes closed and one honey-brown eye smiling at the person taking the photo.
There’s enough time to get coffee at The Grind. “Johnny?” You figured he’d love to get breakfast to eat later when he arrived at his studio. “Getting coffee at the Grind. Want anything? Breakfast?”
“No I’m good, I already ate.” He replied, eyes fixed on the road. But he did not, he stood up from your bed 15 minutes before the two of you left for work.
“No you didn’t?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“I did. I ate you.” He said with a poker face.
You let out a yell and Johnny burst out laughing. You pinched his right leg as he winced in pain, still laughing, and stopping you diligently as he was driving. “So sleazy at 8:30 in the morning!” you scolded him.
“But we even went earlier than that.” Johnny laughed again, avoiding another pinch as he held your left hand and his other hand rested on the steering wheel, continuing to drive. In a few minutes, you arrived at your office complex, Johnny parked the car and the two of you went to The Grind for a quick coffee—a routine every time he would spend the night at your place.
“Morning, lovers!” the barista, Wendy, shouted as you two entered the café. You give her a warm smile and wave. They have gotten used to Johnny as well, ever since you two have been together. “What can I get you, Y/N?”
“I’ll get an iced americano, iced latte, and two BLTs. To go please.” you scanned the qr code to pay, as Wendy tapped your orders in and proceeded to prepare them.
Shortly, after a quick skim through your morning emails, your orders arrived. Wendy handed a thin kraft paper bag to Johnny as you carried the takeaways. Johnny took the sandwich bags as he walked you out and into your office building.
“Yo, John!” Jae entered the glass doors and greeted Johnny with a secret bro handshake. After a while of you and Johnny being together, Jae seemed to have gained himself a new best friend. The two of them can’t get enough of each other, it’s starting to get annoying.
“Why don’t the two of you just date each other instead then.” You two brought them back from their conversation. Jae finally acknowledged your presence.
“Oh yeah, hey Y/N.” He chuckled, “Sorry but I see your face five times a week so I need a breather.” Johnny laughed.
“Idiot. Go away!” you shooed Jae away as he bid Johnny goodbye to head in first.
Johnny turned to you and smiled, “Jealous much?” he said, as he handed you the thin paper bag from the cafe earlier.
“What’s this?” you asked, as you took a peek inside and saw a sealed Folklore vinyl. “Johnny?! What for?” was all you can say as you held to the record tightly in your chest, you loved this album so much.
“Nothing. Can’t I get gifts for my girlfriend?” he said as you planted a kiss on his cheek. Johnny continued, “Okay, if you want, let’s just say, ‘Happy 209 days with you’.” as he kissed you on the cheek too. You smiled at him before he went, iced coffee and breakfast in hand, and made sure you said it back, clear as his honey-glazed eyes, “Happy 209 days baby.” 13. Conference rooms and Mondays don’t do well together, you know just by the look of Jae sitting across from you—eyes half-closed, hands resting on his chin, his silver glasses misaligned. Not a word from Stephanie’s presentation has registered. Sorry Steph.
As soon as your creative director adjourned the meeting, the two of you scampered to get out of the room quickly. 
“Move!” Jae sped up past you to get the food you had delivered. In a hot minute, he’s running back at the pantry where you’re waiting for him, or the fried rice rather. Lunch breaks are BFF hours. It’s one opportunity in the day where you and Jae are as far away from your workstations as possible and almost no one, no one would dare to talk to the two busiest art directors in the office at this hour. It’s like an unwritten rule.
A dumpling made its way to your mouth as Steph walked towards you and Jae in the pantry, a jug of protein shake on one hand. She obviously hasn’t received the “No-Talking-During-Lunch” memo.
“Darling, will John be available for the shoot next, next week?” Steph asked as she chugged the protein-shake.
“Oh Steph,” you answered, as soon as you’re done chewing, “he’s already in Singapore by that time.”
Steph clicked her tongue. “Ahhh. Too bad, now I need to find another photographer who works as fast and as good as him.” She tapped your shoulder and reminded Jae of their project before she left, “Send me the PDF later.” 
Jae rolled his eyes and looked at you as he answered her back, “No talking about work during lunch hours!” He threw his chopsticks on the now empty take-out box.
He opened one can of sparkling cider and handed it to you, “Why aren't you coming to Singapore?” Jae asked, as he opened a can for himself.
“Johnny mentioned it. Not that I didn’t thought about it, but during these months there’s just so much work. I couldn’t possibly be gone for three whole weeks,” and it’s true, Steph would’ve handed out the job orders before you can even file for days off.
“Let Stephanie solve the problem of art directors not being available because they’re trying to live their lives,” Jae said with so much conviction, “and besides, what do you think I’m doing here?”
“Well yeah, but, Steph said this is one of the biggest projects this year and they needed two of us to take the load of it together.” you told Jae as you took a sip of the sparkling cider.
Jae blew out raspberries, annoyed and not having any of it, “Load of crap.”
—— Livin' in a daydream She said, "Love me like you paid me" You know I'll be gone for so long So give me all of your love, give me something to dream about
An open suitcase lies on the floor, half-full. There’s a pile of clothing on the bed and a couple of shoes to be put on the suitcase. An opened black bag of toiletries sits on the suitcase, missing an electric shaver and after-shave.
At the foot of Johnny’s bathroom door lies a pair of discarded black jogging pants, a black workout shorts, and boxers. The noise coming from the other side of the door is muted by the loud speaker blasting his morning playlist.
The bathroom door is fighting for its life, you held your left hand on the doorknob and your right clasped the towel hook beside his sink. Johnny holds your waists tightly as you sit on the sink, back arched and your leg wrapped around him as he thrusts into you swiftly and precisely. Your underwear hangs at your right leg, didn’t even make it past your feet. His electric shaver and after-shave landed on the bathroom floor instead of his half-packed toiletry bag.
“Yes, make noise for me baby.” Johnny moans at your ear in between pants as he comes back kissing your neck. He was sucking on it too hard, the islands his lips made now turning into a faint purple color.
“JOHNNY!” was all you can properly say, or yell, amidst your loud whimpers and cries, your back painfully hitting against the cold marble of his bathroom counter. But you couldn’t care less because it felt so good to have him thrusting his fullness on you as you tightened around him, trying to see until when your pleasure will last. You might have broken the doorknob, now with a screw loose, after Johnny thrusted too hard. You mustered all the energy left in you to plead your last request, “PLEASE…fuck me like you want to ruin this fucking sink.”
Your fucking language. Your grandmother would have smacked you with her cane by how dirty your mouth sounds at the moment.
Johnny paused, sighed heavily, couldn’t believe he could possibly be any more turned on but he is. His eyes grew deeper and lusty, his right hand lifted your chin to meet his eyes, “Little freak, I’ll fuck your brains out.”
His phone’s alarm chimes from outside, amidst the loud music. He should be in the airport in two hours. Johnny doesn’t seem to hear a thing. 
He watches you pleading with eyes closed and your head resting on the mirror of his sink. He now enters you, slowly, inch by inch, in and out, with the fullness of him. Your insides squirms every time he’ll push inside of you. “Open your eyes baby.” he commanded. 
You did as he pushed into you again, this time hitting your sweet spot. Seeing this, he pushed as deeply as possible, repeatedly, your cries and his moans in unison, with expletives you wouldn't have thought you'd hear from such a sweet-looking couple.
You could feel yourself reaching your climax, your eyes watery and flashing, and your pussy drenched as hell. You held tightly on the doorknob, now loose from its screw as your other hand curled tightly on Johnny’s shoulders. In the midst of a disgraceful moan, you managed to let out, “John, baby, I’m coming, I’m coming…”
“Shit, come for me, baby, yes!” was all he could say, his eyes tightly shut, his shoulders shaking as he released.
Exhausted, he looked at you to see your face and was surprised to see tears streaming down your flushed cheeks. In panic, he held your face gently “Baby why? Did I hurt you?” he asked as he clumsily checked you for wounds or bruises. But there’s nothing to see now except a sore back and neck full of hickeys.
You collapsed on the base of his neck and cried like a baby, “I’m gonna miss you a lot.” was all you can say, still sobbing on his sweat-drenched gray t-shirt, tired for being so horny and hormonal today. You wished you bought a damn plane ticket. 
Johnny sighed and held you for a good minute, pulled back to look at your face, and kissed your forehead, “I love you. I’ll be back before you know it.”
14. It's unfortunate, just coordinates.
You were sitting by a long work table in the studio as you reviewed the day’s agenda. Jae is beside you, doing last minute notes on a powerpoint on his tablet. A message pops up on your phone screen: “Johnny - Text message”. You opened it immediately. “I’ll take you here someday!” his text message reads. Another one popped up on the thread, 
a wide angled photo of Singapore’s Flower Dome, the largest glass greenhouse of the world. Johnny photographed the vast center of the conservatory—trees, topiaries and a myriad of flowers arranged beautifully in the area. There’s a wooden lighthouse in one area and in another, a wooden windmill. The photo looked like a little flower town.
“I should’ve gone with you :(“ you texted a reply, as sullen as your mood for the past few days after his flight. “Will always make a next time :)” Johnny replied. Another photo popped on the message thread. A photo of an area full of hydrangea flowers in different colors—pink, purple, blue and green. It’s one of your favorite blooms, the flower buds look like pastel-colored popcorns. He sent another text, “So pretty, but you’re prettier.”
Seven months ago this would’ve made you cringe. The wonders of being madly in love are really incredible. You couldn’t wait for him to come home.
“I love you. Enjoy your day :*” you hit send, just in time as Steph and the clients from today’s high profile brand arrived. She strutted towards your direction to introduce them. You and Jae stood up to meet them. Steph pointed towards you and Jae, “These are Y/N and Jae, they will be directing this campaign shoot.” You held your hand out to the two younger brand managers, who according to her, are being trained by their senior manager who just entered the studio.
You wished your eyes were fooling you. But they’re not. As he walked towards you, Steph thought he needed an introduction. “Oh, and here’s our senior brand manager, Kun.”
Jae, who sat beside you, held his hand out to greet him. But Kun, dressed in a spotless dress shirt, black tailored pants and leather dress shoes swaggered passed Jae, straight to you, and met your otherwise limp hand for a handshake. His eyes, brooding and sharp, lingered on you for a while. “Long time no see, Y/N.”
——
“Did you even love me for real?” you asked Kun, as the two of you talked on the stairwell of his apartment. It wasn’t even talking, it was just you talking him back into your relationship which he ended a month ago after going home from Bangkok.
Kun sighed, held his temples and was growing impatient with you asking the same questions all over again despite your break-up. “Y/N, look, okay, I did. I loved you.”
Alright. The way he emphasized the past tense of “love” was enough to open the floodgate of tears flowing. You started sobbing as Kun continued talking, “It’s just, Y/N, honey, I’m not my best self, okay? It’s not you. I want to be my best self first.”
That was a lie. If there is something Kun is good at, it’s believing in himself. Always. That’s why when he got a promotion, he had no second thoughts but to fly to Bangkok to seize the opportunity. “But I love you now, and I will love you even if you want to find your best self.”
Kun can’t find the right words anymore. He just repeated what he had said, eyes on the floor “Now, I just want to be my best self, Y/N.” And you understood what he meant, he just wanted to continue finding the best in him, even if it costs your relationship.
You feel pathetic. You are pathetic. But you’re already there. You dared to ask him, “Was it Kannika?” Kun raised his head at the sound of that name. That was the name of the girl he was with on his Instagram stories, the week he was in Bangkok to visit the regional office of his agency. Kannika was a fellow brand manager in the regional office, and he was bound to be relocated in Bangkok in a week.
The mention of her name in the messy conversation riled Kun, “Aaaah. Y/N, you went all the way here this early just for this.” his tone obviously annoyed, the efforts of him not raising his voice on you all in vain.
You are a crying mess now, sobbing like a toddler in the stairwell leading to Kun’s unit. He didn’t even invite you in. You held tightly on the railings, bargaining, desperate to bring back a hopeless relationship. Kun held your shoulders to steady you, persistent to end this now, “Y/N, go home and rest, I’ll get you a ride so you can go home comfortably.”
There wasn’t a proper closure for this relationship. Kun saw an opportunity for himself and seized it. He said maybe it’s time for both of you to part ways. Suddenly, he talked about growth. But you two were growing together. It just doesn’t make sense.
The car came and Kun opened the doors for you, “Take care, Y/N.” he said, as he kissed your nose.
And just like that, Kun Qian conveniently took you out of his apartment and his life. That day, you lost both your best friend and the love of your life.
A month after, he fled to Bangkok to pursue his regional brand manager career and his best life—all of which you can only see via his Instagram.
One afternoon, with no one to talk to and while breaking down from the burnout of your new job, a failed online business and a month-old breakup, you checked his Instagram account because you missed him terribly. On his curated feed, you can see a new update on the top most left part of the grid—you tapped to view his new life update. It’s a photograph of Kun and the beautiful Thai girl in Phuket, smiling happily in a setting sunset. The caption reads, “My beautiful flower, Kannika.” 15. The Daily Grind evolves at night from a café into an intimate speakeasy bar serving locally-brewed beer. They turned the lights dim and low, and jazz started playing on the turntable by 7:00 PM. Jae invited you for a few drinks and a short bestie time after finishing the 4-day shoot of Kun’s brand. Wendy served your drinks as the two of you sat on the barstool overlooking the window. Jae took a piece of sweet potato chip and threw it into his mouth. “This guy Kun, a complete psycho.” “Ugh, do we have to talk about him Jae, I had enough of him for the last four days.” you told Jae after a swig of beer. Jae was quiet. He didn’t know about him much, but he knew enough from the crying fits in front of your office computer on the small work table you two used to share. “We’re basically twins separated from birth but I haven’t asked about him since then ‘cause all I know is the breakup was so bad you needed to befriend a seatmate with extreme anger management issues to get on with everyday life.” That joke was half-meant.
You sighed, tired from work and tired of the thought of Kun. You realized you haven’t unloaded to Jae about this. It was five years in the making. You kept it short and simple. “We have been together since college. He was my best friend and boyfriend. In a short visit to Bangkok years ago, he realized there’s a brighter life ahead of him, without me in it.” “That’s fucked up.” Jae shook his head, as he took another swig of his beer. “Falling out of love and growing apart happens, I guess.” You grabbed a chip. “And he also met a girl?” Jae asked.
“Yeah” you answered, as you crunched on the chip. “Naturally. Predictable.” Jae sighed as he put down his bottle. “That time, I just thought the longer years you are together, the more impossible you’ll fall out of it.” Jae is just listening intently. You continued, “You give so much, without asking for something in return and suddenly, there’s nothing left in him to give to you.” Jae zoned out in your question. There was silence for a while. He motioned to Wendy for another bottle of beer and answered you finally, “You can love for ten years and you can love for 10 days, both need work just the same,” he paused, chugging the last of his local-brew, “When one of you stops working to keep that love. It's as good as over. That’s love for you.” —— Katy found you in your apartment lying in your bed in the pajamas you were wearing last Friday night. Your unresponsive ass since yesterday sent her into a panic. It’s Sunday afternoon now. You slept your weekend away, waking up in unusual hours to pee and have something to eat. There’s a half-eaten ramen cup on the coffee table that doubles as your dining table in your small apartment. Katy stepped on an opened bag of chips, the contents all over the unpolished wooden floor. Katy shrugged you on your small bed, motionless like a rock, “Y/N, hey.” You woke up and thought twice if you should pretend you’re just sleeping. But Katy went out of her way to check on you. On cue, you opened your eyes, Katy letting out a small sigh. “There you go. Step one is waking up.” You rose from your bed as Katy scoured for clothes on your clothes rack. She took a clean university shirt and house shorts. “Step two is taking a bath so you can smell like a human again.” she handed you the clothes. You sat at your bed, trying to hold an impending cryfest, again. Katy saw this and mumbled under her breath, “Shit. You really loved that ass do you?” You nodded as you wiped the tears overflowing from your eyes. You wiped and held your eyelids to stop them from coming out. These stupid, useless things won’t stop watering. When you felt like your throat relaxed a bit, you answered Katy, “I DID.” “DID.” Katy repeated the word with so much conviction. DID. You used to. Yes, you used to love Kun. It’s done now. Katy went on, “Step 4 is acknowledging the truth of the past.”
That day, Katy urged you to take four steps out of your bed, into the bathroom, and away from Kun Qian. When the feelings get worse, repeat from step 1. As simple as shampooing your smelly hair.
This went on for days. A month later, you made another step. Step 5, make new memories. Everything that reminds you of him, you’ll make new memories. You held out a vintage vinyl record you stacked at your table, amidst bags of bread and instant ramen. It was from your seatmate Jae, after finding out about your break up. There is a short note pasted on the sleeve, and it reads “Stay Angry, Not Foolish.” you laughed as you took the record out of the aging sleeve and played it on your second hand turntable. That day, Jae helped you create your first fresh memories of things that remind you of Kun. Afternoon bubble teas, new memories. Stairwells, new memories. Vintage records that you two used to listen to all day, new memories. Bit by bit you get used to him not being around anymore, with help from your friends, and onto discovering your best life yet. 16. Kun Qian made sure to make these days miserable, even before waking up. You woke up breathless from a recount of the stairwell break-up in your dream. It was horrible. You thought Kun liking your instagram post months ago was merely a ghost you could contain in the four corners of your phone screen. It was harmless, you’ve moved on from him, and you are absolutely happy with Johnny. But perhaps, heartbreaks, and loss in general take too long or don’t heal at all. You just get used to them. When you get broken in a million pieces, you lose bits of you you can’t pick up again and you do your best to hold on with the remaining pieces you can keep in your hand—holding on to them carefully, hoping the bits and pieces of you won’t get lost any further. In that four-day photoshoot, he made it a point to invite himself in your life again. He would get you coffee, sit beside you on break times, and initiate small talks—so easy for him, like he has not forcefully pulled you out of his life then. You would interact with him for courtesy, he is after all, a client. The last thing you want is office drama in the middle of a high-profile project. But every client meeting, every email received, every mention of his name—your hands would tremble holding the remaining bits and pieces of you together, the parts of you that you worked hard for to make you whole again. Kun Qian started making your world and his smaller, and it’s suffocating the heck out of you. ——
As soon as 5:00 PM  strikes, you grab your stuff and jolt out of the office. Johnny is returning today and was supposed to fetch you from work. Jae promised to vouch for you when the meeting with Kun’s brand is finished. It could have been an email, but Kun was hyper active to align with Steph and the team from time to time. You ran out of the elevator and into the building lobby to see Johnny in the waiting area. His face lit up at the sight of you, his arms opened wide as you approached for an embrace. Your face fell right above his chest, his heartbeat beating against your ear. His scent brings you a certain calm, something you never had for the past days. “How are you, little freak?” his hands gently caressed your nape. “I missed you a lot, Y/N.” You nestled into his chest and lifted your face up, “I missed you too! Dinner? We don’t have food at home yet.” “I expected it to happen.” Johnny laughed as he held your hand and walked with you to The Grind.
——
“I’ll serve your meal in 15 minutes!” Wendy said, as she serves your iced coffees ahead. You and Johnny settled at your favorite spot, side by side at the small table from across the cafe window.
Your phone lit up with a message from Jae, “The devil has left the building.” accompanied by a throwing up emoji. Jae shared with you the same disdain for Kun now, apart from your long history, he couldn’t handle his arrogance ever since the first day he met him.
Putting your phone down, you faced Johnny and asked about Singapore. He marveled about the Flower Dome and how you would love it there, the new acquaintances he met, and the conference he was so honored to attend. The trip opened up opportunities for him, and you couldn’t be any happier.
“By the way, I have something for you.” A present? Again? Johnny took out a small velvet box he rested on a table. “Open it.” The box reveals an intricate gold ring, in the shape of an iris flower. The gold band looked like a rounded stem, the iris blooming at one end. It was beautifully detailed, it looked like a small flower gilded in gold. The gift and the gesture shocked you speechless, “Johnny, it’s...it’s beautiful.” was all you can say.
Johnny took the ring and placed it in your finger. “The auntie said Iris means promise and hope, but I bought it because it reminded me of you.” Iris is the scent of your perfume he loved so much, and the flower from the night where both of you opened up to each other. The ring fits perfectly in your left ring finger, glimmering in the yellow lights of the cafe.
“I love it. Thank you Johnny.” You planted a kiss on his cheek when a familiar voice calls you from across the cafe. “Y/N!” It was Kun. The sight of him made you warm and suddenly the café felt stuffy. He walked towards your table and invited himself to sit. “I was looking for you after the meeting.”
Suddenly, you felt a lump on your throat and couldn’t say a thing. As usual, he introduced himself to Johnny. “I’m Kun, I’ve been working with their agency since last month.” he held out a hand at Johnny, who pleasantly shook it, not knowing anything.
Kun would have had a clue that Johnny and you are together, just by the body language he witnessed. And as sharp as he is, he would know, from the instagram post he liked months ago. With what’s little left of you and your anxiety that’s starting to flare up, you briefly explained to Johnny the brand, and how he must have been given the project if he wasn’t in Singapore.
“Ah! You’re a photographer I see. Y/N and I, we used to be interested in it too in college.” Kun was running his mouth a little too fast to your dismay. “We go way back.” he emphasized. “College friends. It’s a shame I couldn’t make it to shoot for you.” Johnny said enthusiastically, still without a clue. You’re starting to feel wobbly, fidgeting with your hands and the fabric of your skirt. You clasped your hands tightly together, holding on to the bits and pieces.
“College friends,” Kun chuckled menacingly as he adjusted the watch on his wrist. “Or more than that.” Kun shot you a gaze that lingers, “This cafe, god, we would love to hang out in this cafe back in those days.” from you, his eyes scanned the vicinity of The Grind, his pronouns always referring to the both of you. Johnny glanced at you, catching up already. Kun wouldn’t stop, he pointed to one of the vintage vinyl records hanging on the wall, “I gifted her with a thrifted album on her birthday, and we’d play it every afternoon with a secondhand turntable. You must’ve known she loves music since then.” Kun directed the question to Johnny, making it a point to let him know that he knew you well. His lips formed into a smile, his dimples that you used to love, now two craters of chaos and menace.
Your discomfort must have been apparent in your face now. Johnny replied, “Well, I know Y/N loves music and records a lot, but I didn’t know how her favorite hobby started.” He smiled nonchalantly at Kun. He also noticed your hands clasping tightly on your lap, holding on to the bits and pieces. Johnny continued,  “But it’s okay, I have a lot of time ahead to get to know her better.” he rested a hand on your fidgeting hands, already red and throbbing. Wendy dashes into your table to serve your food. Kun nodded to Johnny and eyed you two intently. He ended his intrusion and stood up from the table, “Well, that’s my cue,” he fixed his shirt and grabbed his coffee cup, “I’ll see you two around.”
15 minutes. It took Kun Qian less than 15-fucking-minutes to single-handedly shook out the bits and pieces of you that you tried so hard to protect all these years. 17. Hand in hand, you and Kun ran to your university’s football field after your 2:00 PM class. It was a warm and sunny day, so people would play along the grass to kill time. You settled on a patch of grass away from the students playing ball, the discarded white curtain from your theater class as a makeshift mat.
Kun opened the suitcase record player he thrifted after giving you your first vinyl record. You placed the overplayed record on the spindle and positioned the stylus on the first track. The old thing started humming into life, its speakers gargling the song out.
Most of your university life is a variant of this moment—you and Kun, sweaty college students on a budget while enjoying a simple afternoon, bubble tea in hand, listening to your overplayed vintage record despite the vintage speakers seeing better days. Some days, the two of you would nap throughout the afternoon, until your next class. A football would hit you two occasionally, in between conversations about your dreams. This afternoon, perhaps the sun is just right and the wind blows softly, so you lie down on Kun’s lap and close your eyes as he reads a book. You wish you could live in this moment forever—warm sun, cool wind and Kun by your side. His gentle eyes grow brooding and sharp when he focuses on a book. A wind softly blew and he planted a kiss on your nose before he goes back to reading. You know for sure, nothing matters but this very, present moment.
——
The drive home was quiet. Johnny’s eyes are fixed on the road, the car lights reflecting on his deep and focused gaze. You fingered the iris ring he gave you earlier, staring at the window. Nobody said a single word. You never hated Kun so much as now.
When he pulled up at your apartment lobby, he finally said, “I would have appreciated it if you told me that you've been uncomfortable working with him for the past few days.”
Here it goes now. “I didn’t think it mattered, the project would have ended eventually, anyway.” You thought you’ll close this project and never see him again, but Kun was persistent.
“But he looked like he had other plans.” Johnny tapped the steering wheel, head shaking. He added, “And you look like fainting any moment, and you plan to just get it over with?” his voice rising up a little.
“Look, It's not like I want this to happen!” you snapped at him. “Everytime I see him, I get reminded of how bad it felt to be at my rock bottom state and it's suffocating Johnny.“
Suddenly, the bad feelings are back. You clenched your hands again—holding the bits and pieces of you together. Your throat is lumpy. Your eyes, an overflowing mess. Your mind, all over the place. 
Johnny wanted to hold and comfort you but he was also caught and confused at the moment. “I just want you to know that I don’t give a shit about him. I’m just worried about you.” He didn’t know exactly what happened between you and Kun, and he wishes he knows more than his girlfriend currently spiraling into a mental breakdown.
He tried to hold your shaking shoulders, “I’ll bring you upstairs so you can take a—“
You cut him off. “Break. I, I, need to take a break Johnny.”
Johnny pulled back, startled, and couldn’t say a word.
You went on, “This is too much for me right now. And maybe, maybe I’m not yet ready for this, I’m sorry.” you opened the car door and started running into your apartment building.
“Hey, Y/N, hey wait!” Johnny scrambled to get out of the car, but he was quick and was suddenly at his feet, stopping you in your tracks. “Why?”
You looked at him with red and tired eyes, “What, why?”
“Seven whole ass months and you’re not ready? Why cut me off? Why don’t you want me to help?” His eyes now merely holes of confusion, mouth open in surprise, hands tightened on your elbows.
You simply couldn’t answer him right now. You want to be as far away as possible, from anything, from anyone.
“I’m sorry. Please—“ you shook out of his grip violently and ran away from him.
18. Jae carried the box of your bridesmaids gown as you walked across the streets to his car. “Seriously, Y/N.” he continued scolding you, like the hour he’s running his mouth on you in the bridal shop isn’t yet enough, “Johnny just wants the best for you, why do you need to cut him off?”
“I didn’t cut him off, I just said, I needed a break!” you made your steps bigger so you can catch up on Jae. “You didn’t, but you haven’t talked for the past three weeks?” He was squeezing the box with his hands, the beautifully done bow now a mess. You hit his hand and took the box to carry yourself.
“Well Jae, I definitely needed more than a day to think over a relationship trauma?” you calmly explained, as the two of you stopped where his car was parked. “Kun wasn’t just an ex, I was with him for years before I even knew what I wanted or wanted to be.He’s a part of what makes me, me, now.”
Jae heaved a sigh and eyed the floor. He does this when you make a point, and both of you hate it when the other person is right. You continued, “I just wanted to clean up the mess that he carelessly swept off under the rug for the past five years.”
“Is that necessary, Y/N? And how are you going to do that?” Jae took out the keys to his car. “I’ll have to figure it out yet,” you started walking past Jae’s car, “and I’m going home by myself.” “Hey, hey.” Jae caught up to you and took the box from you forcefully. “Quit it! So dramatic, god, I’m taking you home!” he said, rolling his eyes as he pressed the keys to his car. ——
Spinning out, waiting for ya to pull me in I can see you're lonely down there Don't you know that I am right here? Johnny called it a day early from work, not even in the mood for drinks with Mark and Andy after a hard day’s work.
For the past seven months, he would fetch you from work and stay over. Sometimes a movie sounds like a good idea until he falls asleep on the couch, hand buried deep in a popcorn bowl. Sometimes, in true Johnny and Y/N fashion, you would get breakfasts for dinner. It has been three weeks of unlearning this routine for Johnny. Or maybe not unlearn, he’s not really sure. You asked for a break to think things over, and he gave it to you. He’s really not the gray area kind of person, always decisive and straightforward, but this is him meeting you halfway.
Johnny opened the door to his apartment and threw his things on his almost empty couch, your white oversized hoodie sprawled on one of the couch arms. He unbuttoned his shirt and headed to the bathroom to wash up—the loose door knob he thought of having repaired after flying back from Singapore, reminding him of you yet again. Everywhere he looks in his apartment, he sees you.
“Fucking crazy.” Johnny chuckled sarcastically. After washing up, he opened his closet to get changed and saw the gray tuxedo suit and grayish blue necktie he prepared with you for Katy’s wedding, which by the way, is happening tomorrow. 
Right, the wedding. Johnny forgot to change into fresh clothes. He sat on his bed instead, the city lights from outside his window reflecting on his bare upper body.
The suit gave him a thought. He pondered sending you a message. He grabbed his phone but before he could write anything, he remembered how Jae briefly recounted the deal between you and Kun over a few drinks—how Kun was your partner since college. Literally the person you build dreams with, and one day, he decided he’s better off finding his best self, without you. He at least understood a fraction of why you felt shook to the core on his return, so he just kept on waiting, and waiting, for three weeks now.
He started off his message with a nonchalant greeting, but he deleted it right away. It’s not as if these are normal times. He thought hard again, and knew exactly what he had to say, straightforward and simple.
—— “Do you want me to come with you on Katy’s wedding?” your phone lit up with Johnny’s message while binging a series, which you really couldn’t follow anymore because you are incredibly distracted.
Right, the wedding. You felt a little guilty almost forgetting Katy’s wedding. She sent you a bridesmaid’s package earlier, which is sitting unopened with your gown on the dining table.
It’s been three weeks thinking if a closure was necessary, but you haven’t spoken to Kun ever since the incident at The Grind. You just couldn’t bring yourself lifting a single finger again for him.
You abandoned your tv series completely and walked to your dining table. You opened the box of your dress first—the v-neckline organza gown that Katy fitted on the dress shop. But this one is in an ash gray color, and when the light hits, it turns into a subtle shade of blue. The bodice of the gown is peppered with silver rhinestones, the gems emitting tiny sparkles in between layers of organza. You remembered Johnny bought a suit to match your dress for Katy’s wedding day, slightly darker gray pair, and a light blue tie to match.
Opening up Katy’s gift next, the silver box tied with a powder blue ribbon had a Bluebell flower scented candle, tiny black sesame and blueberry flavored French macarons, and a tin of Earl Grey tea. You would know exactly what’s inside because Katy asked you to curate the things yourself being the “more visionary” between the two of you. In the bottom of the box, buried in shredded silver paper, is a note. You broke the wax seal with Katy’s initials on it and read the letter:
“My dear, Y/N. For formality, I’ve sent you a box of the gifts you so tastefully curated yourself.
Thank you, ever since the beginning. This is my gift for you.
STEP 6: Be happy.
I love you and I got you forever.
Katy”
19.  You walked down the aisle in the arms of Katy’s younger brother, the skirt of your gown flowing gracefully, not a fabric sliding in between the heels of your silver shoes. A thin, rhinestone headband holds the tastefully undone strands of your twisted chignon hairstyle.
The whole entourage is a sight to see—the ladies in dove gray gowns, holding bouquets of beautiful blue peonies. The gentlemen, dashing in navy blue suits and gray bow ties. The glass ballroom, which sits in the middle of a vast courtyard with wonderful flora and foliage, is dressed with blue hydrangeas, hyacinths and baby’s breath.
You sat among the rows of bridesmaids. Amidst the tower of flowers and attendees, you were looking around if Johnny decided to show up. Not that you are expecting him to, especially after refusing to communicate for the past three weeks. You checked your text message thread, the last message is what you sent him last night, “Only if you want to. I’d love for you to come.”
Maybe talking to him last night instead of fake-binge-watching a tv series would have been a better idea if you had the audacity to say “I’d love for you to come.” But you really would love to. The past weeks have just been really exhausting for you mentally. 
You never talked to Kun again, even out of courtesy, when he would visit the office. There’s not even a hint of hatred. There’s just—nothing. You thought about it over and over again. What would you need a closure for? The feelings you’ve felt before are the worst, yes, but there’s no no need to clean the mess up, because there is just nothing left now. He seems to already get the message anyway and from then on, his visits become less frequent, later on just condensed into twenty-word emails. Warm regards.
Katy walked down the aisle as the classical music swells—her eyes fixed on the man on the other side of the room, the love of her life. It was a golden moment, the present, promising a future. Seeing Katy this happy makes you happy as well.
“Step 6: Be happy.” she wrote in her letter. And yes, you have thought about it. You are now choosing to be happy. You have come a long way since step 5. The only way is one step forward.
You seem to take the vow alongside Katy and her husband to be, yes you are choosing happiness—from this day forward.
——
Yesterday, it finally came, a sunny afternoon I was on my way to buy some flowers for you Thought that we could hide away in a corner of the heath There's never been someone who's so perfect for me Katy, in high spirits from her marriage and champagne, is calling out names of her bachelorette friends for the bouquet throw. You hated these things. You casually headed towards the sliding doors of the hall to escape, but Katy caught your eyes and was on the verge of calling you. She flashed you a smile and nodded instead, letting you go.
You slid the glass doors open and were startled to see Johnny, who was meaning to enter the hall just as you were about to get out.
“Johnny.” it was the first time you saw him after wanting to take a break from your seven-months long relationship. 
“Sorry, I’m late.” Johnny smiled at you softly. You stepped out of the porch and slid the doors closed behind you. “Katy?” he asked.
“Drunk and hitting people with her bouquet.” You and Johnny chuckled as you saw Katy accidentally hitting a bridesmaid’s face with her bouquet. There was a short silence after, “Can we talk?”
He nodded and led you down the steps of the porch. You briefly walked along the cobblestone steps of a pathway in the courtyard sandwiched between rows of trees, leading to a small pond with floating candles and water lilies. Bushes of various flowers are planted around the area. Vintage iron lamp posts lit the pond beautifully at night. Johnny stood still across the edge of the pond and faced you.
“I think I overdressed for the occasion.” you laughed as he adjusted his powder blue necktie. He was wearing the crisp gray suit he bought with you before leaving for Singapore, purposely matching your ash gray gown. He brushed his hair up again, as usual, a comma of a strand, falling on his forehead.
“Didn’t want them to think you’re the groom do you?” You fixed the necktie he adjusted and put it in place, and swiped a loose thread away from his shoulders. Johnny’s eyes lingered at your face as you do this, noticing again the things he haven’t seen for a while—your lips slightly pouting when fixing something, your eyelashes thick and curled up gracefully, your eyes, how he loved your eyes, when it gazes on him and the light makes them look soft and gentle. He goddamn missed you a lot but he kept quiet and let you talk first.
“I’m sorry for shutting you out, that was careless of me.” You fiddled with your hands, already sweaty. 
“Kun was a thing of the past.” A monumental one at that, a lesson learned. Just a bad memory. But Johnny is here and now, “I’m just afraid of the slightest possibility of the bad things happening again to perfectly good things.” 
Johnny is still quiet. Waiting for the next words you’ll say, his brown eyes fixed on yours. You clenched your hands tightly in fists. “But if you will let me be more careful AND braver now, I’d love for us to work it out, day and night, tirelessly. I’ll work it out for you, Johnny.”
He held your anxious hands to stop them from shaking. “Y/N, when you get anxious, let me calm you down.” he squeezed your hands gently. You can feel the edges of your eyes getting watery. “I’ll make new memories with you with the things you used to love.”
He continues, “I want to be there in your good days, your bad days, your okay days and the days in between.” his right hand found its place in your neck, gently lifting your face up so your eyes can meet. “I can’t promise it will always be great days, but I’ll try my best.”
You’re goddamn crazy Johnny Suh. He wiped a tear silently escaping your glittered eye. “When we’re together, there’s fucking music playing,” he took out a stray eye lash on your cheek, “You are the record I’d love to listen to until it’s last spin, and I hope I am the same for you, too.”
Johnny Suh is the record you’ll wear out and try to find again soon if it gets broken. “You are absolutely it, Johnny. And I fucking love you.”
He caressed your hand and thought of something for a moment. He walked towards the flower bushes along the pond and plucked a lone blue iris flower by the stem. Johnny clumsily wrapped the stem of it on your ring finger and tied it in place—iris is the flower of promise and faith. The little bloom would take the place of the ring he gifted you for the meantime.
“I fucking love you too, Y/N.” Johnny laced his hands gently on your neck and lifted your face for a passionate kiss under the patio lights. 20. Johnny zips you off your gown and throws his suit jacket away. His brown eyes lingered on you as you slid off your organza dress while he unbuttoned his dress shirt. There are pairs of shoes and a necktie trailing from his apartment door. What’s left is your delicate lace lingerie pair and his suit pants.
His hands crawl from the palms of your hands, trailing your arms and into the crooks of your neck. He lifts your chin and leans in for a kiss—gentle but deep and passionate.
He caught a faint scent of your perfume as his soft and plump lips trails the curves of your neck, your breaths going deeper as he continues to the smoothness of your bare shoulders, his teeth unhooking your bra strap. Tonight, you can feel him wanting to go gentle and slow—retracing the edges of his and your desire in the midst of absence.
Johnny held the back of your head as he lay you down on his bed, taking a good look at your face before he dived into another kiss. In a minute, his lips flutter down your neck, and down to the slopes of your laced breasts. Your hands begin to rediscover the cuts of his body, which you loved to kiss, and the miles and miles curve of his back. Your nails dug deep into his skin when he would swirl his tongue against a nipple—the lace multiplying the sensations a thousand times.
You thought this could go on forever—his hands taking over the job of his tongue now as he starts leaving butterfly kisses on your tummy, onto your navel and pelvis, before sliding your lace panties off your legs. His hands still busy fondling your breasts, you open your legs for him as he starts wetting your folds repeatedly with a flat tongue. He didn’t need to do much but it was setting you into a spin already.
“Ugh, John…” you gently groaned, your hands slowly curling its way through his hair. He didn’t answer, but he swirled his tongue exactly where you wanted him to. “Yes, yes…”
You closed your eyes shut and arched your back as he ate you down to his liking, your muffled cries filling the silence of the room. He stopped at one point, and you opened your eyes to see him bringing his face closer to you. You almost feel disappointed until he smiles at you slyly and brings two fingers to tease your clit.
“Does this feel good?” he asked, eyes hooded and face flushed, as he massaged your sweet spot in a circular motion. 
“Yes, that feels so good,” you answered him, eyes closed, feeling his fingers’ every movement. “Just keep going.” and you found your hands reaching for the buckle of his belt.
Just as you undone his buckle, you opened your eyes to see him watching you easing into your high as he simultaneously rubs you to your most sensitive spot. “John, please, I—“ was all you could say when he stopped what he was doing, your pussy robbed and throbbing.
“Beautiful. Show me that beautiful face.” Johnny whispered with his deep, throaty voice as held your chin up and kissed you briefly. He stood up in a hurry to undo his dress pants. You can make him out despite the dark—he was as angry and aroused as you are and you're already dripping folds.
He leaned on you as he brought his tip to your entrance and closed his eyes shut as he pushed inside you tightly, getting a soft, muffled moan from you. Johnny would thrust with just the right force so you could feel him pushing in and pulling out, over and over. His left hand held to your cheek, to watch your face crying in pleasure, your breasts holding on to your bra, bouncing in every move. After one thrust, you found his mouth on your left breast fighting the lace fabric of your lingerie.
You held his face for a while to ask. “Can I ride you tonight, baby?” he nodded, his face now brooding and his brown eyes deep. With him still inside you, you rose slowly into a sitting position on top of and with him, your hands holding on his strong shoulders. His hands slowly travel the curve of your back as he unclasps your bra. Johnny sensually rubs his face on your neck, ot breaths and groans in between, as you slowly start to rock back and forth from him.
Your breasts move up and down and your loose curls gently fall on your shoulder as you push yourself in and out from him in rhythmic beats. Johnny held to your breasts and squeezed them tightly as you exchanged moans in every movement. “Harder, baby.” he asked you with misty eyes as you hammered into him harder. 
You threw your head back and rammed harder with each and every moan when you started to feel the sensation moving in and out of your body. Johnny held his hands tight to your hips, throaty whimpers coming from him. Beads of sweat slid down on his temples and chest. You could feel yourself climaxing at any moment but you would squeeze into him tightly and rock slower to retain the momentum.
“So fucking tight, love.” he whispered to your ear yet again, his breath hot against your neck. You could feel your insides throbbing and pulsating from the delayed pleasure. Johnny reached for a deep passionate kiss, his tongue working its way on your mouth. You could feel him growing inside of you. If you could push into him and deeper, you would, continuously, only for him.
You broke the otherwise delicious kiss because the pleasure is overwhelming your senses. “Johnny, fuck, I can’t take it anymore.” you whimpered as you rocked him gently again feeling yourself on the edge, “Come with me baby.”
Eyes fixed on your face in blissful agony, Johnny tightened his hands onto your waist to help you hammer into him. Muffled cries of pleasure escape your lips in every thrust and he would groan deeply in chorus. His length crushes against your sweet spot, “Shit. That feels so good.”
Johnny heaved a deep sigh and held your neck as he inched his face into yours closer, foreheads now resting on each other. “Don’t close your eyes and come with me love.” Your arms tightened on his shoulders, the two of you now chest to chest as well. You hammered into him with what’s left of your frail energy, bodies coiling upward in unison, skins raw and red in friction. Little muffled moans condensed into a hiccup, you and Johnny’s eyes locked together riding each others’ waves and pleasure blinding you both into oblivion.
You can feel his release, warm and dripping from your already wet womanhood as your shaking body collapses into his weight. You rest your head at the base of his neck, swooning, as you feel yourself throb continuously. Johnny’s weight falls on you too, his panting quick and his broad shoulders rising up and down. Your bodies entangled together, moist in sweat.
He pulled back to plant a kiss on your forehead, your nose, and your lips. As he look into your face, his honey brown eyes clear as water gazing into you, your feelings overflow. “God, I love you Johnny Suh.” 21. Afternoon. The soft sunlight of the golden hour emanates from your apartment window.
Johnny placed your Harry’s House record on your turntable and lowered down the stylus at the second track, the lemon-yellow record started spinning your most favorite song: When nothin' really goes to plan You stub your toe or break your camera I'll do everythin' I can To help you through He lay down on your couch as you placed a cup of coffee beside a tiny vase with a single yellow tulip, by the coffee table. You nestled yourself with him for an afternoon nap, and Johnny wrapped his left hand on your back as you buried your face on his oversized hoodie. You caught a whiff of his perfume—tobacco, tea, and jasmine, a scent familiar to you now.  You looked at him for a while and found comfort at his familiar face as well.
You made a whole new lot of familiar moments and memories. Bubble tea runs and grocery shopping, breakfasts for dinner, dirty jokes whispered while running down stairwells, vinyl records gifted in both special and ordinary days, and the list goes on. But afternoons like this are the moments you love so much—to lie still in silence, doing absolutely nothing but still look forward and reach for such familiar moments in the days to come.
You wouldn’t mind repeating these afternoons over and over again, like a record spinning continuously with your favorite song.
The golden hour sunlight hits your still, sleeping faces as the record reaches its last track, the needle mindlessly spinning continuously in the quiet.
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winetae · 2 years
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omg please 🥺🥺 you’re the one with the superior music taste!! i love sharing music with u!! 😇😇
aww omg I love hearing people talk about their bias and all the reasons you listed out about yeri are so lovely and cute!!! It’s true and she’s been through so much shit that I really admire her for still being so positive and open with her fans!! and you will angel you will be able to overcome your fears and challenge yourself and be kinder to yourself and others!! it all takes a lot of time so I hope you are kind and gentle to yourself during this journey!!
GAH FJFJFJFJ CUTE HOT GIRL VIBES!!! Please I’m so shy and none of those things but thank you for saying that!!! hehe my bias is seulgi actually!! I just really like her singing, dancing, and how kind she is to everyone!! i aspire to be as hard working and fashionable as her!! Plus I think I just like cute cheeks hehe!! 🥰🥰
PLS I FEEL LIKE UR MUSIC TASTE IS ACTUALLY SUPERIOR (high praise bc i literally would never say this to anyone. ever) what are u listening to rn ??? i tried to listen to the new harry styles album but it’s not really hitting like i thought it would 🥲
yes omg 100% i also really admire her resiliency… like fr if i got as much hate as her i definitely wouldn’t be able to be as bright and positive 😢🤍aaaaaaa u are the best tysm i will def try to speak ur words into existence ! for me n for u ! i want only good things for us 😤
AH NOW THAT U MENTION IT seulgi makes so much sense 🤧🤍 seulgi is everyone’s favorite (or secret fav) it’s impossible not to love her 🥺 ooh ive been meaning to ask, apart from bts and rv do u stan any other groups ??
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choipoeth · 2 years
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moodboard blue.
like or reblog if you save/use. 🌨️
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buyinlov · 2 years
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tell me do i get blessed or do i get cursed
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kiko + yeri (harry headers)
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kiw6tos · 3 years
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🛼ゞ 🪐! 🍄% 🥒 🍙
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fairytle · 3 years
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(★% 、) 寝方がわからない。 !!
like + reblog if u save
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userhrry · 3 years
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— Yeri x Harry Styles layouts
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Like or reblog if u save.
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Kim Yeri x Harry Styles MESSY LAYOUT
★ Reblog or Like if you save - requested
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lovstuff · 3 years
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yeri + harry styles.
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heswines · 3 years
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kim yeri + harry styles
like/reblog if you save;
follow me for more!
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