#happy to hear you're a fan of Sugar and Coffee too!!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unexpected 26

Sequel to Unsolicited

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, car sex, Lloyd being the worst, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Lloyd rarely surprises you anymore but that night, you admit, you are. He leaves you be. You just can't decide if it's because he actually listened or for some other Lloyd reason.

You hear Dottie and Harlan come home and try not to hear what comes after. You sleep as well as you can through the persistent ache in your hip bones. You hug the pillow between your legs, finding your comfort with a blanket under your belly. Adjusting to your body is the hardest part, you were never very comfortable in it to begin with.

You get up before nine. You never really slept in. Well, before you were working night shifts and going to sleep at this time. Those years really did a number on you.

You dress and hobble downstairs, yawning as the scent of cinnamon leads you into the kitchen. Dottie is there at the stove, chiming at your entry with "good morning" to rival any songbird.

"Hi," you go to the fridge, mourning your ritual of a hot coffee and opting instead for some mango orange juice. "How was your night?"

"Ah, ya know, Harlan's all tired out," she giggles, "but I should ask ya, dear, about yours."

"Mm, it was a night," you shrug as you pour yourself a glass, "what are you making? It smells so good."

"My famous cinnamon donuts," she announces proudly, "little Marion was the biggest fan, back when he wasn't so stingy on sugar."

"Ah," you take a sip of the tangy juice.

"I can't think the night was mighty successful," she mulls, "not with him leavin' so fast this mornin'."

You put the carton back and grab your glass. You lean against the count and take a large gulp.

"He left," you don't quite make it a question.

"Didn't he say goodbye?"

You keep your face vacant, "probably for the best."

"Work, he said," she offers, "off to make some money for the little one."

"Mm," you chew your lip and think. You peek over at her, "I… hope you don't think-- I worked, you know. More than twenty years and I busted my ass. I didn't… want to quit and not do anything."

"Ah don't you worry, sweetheart, I ain't judgin'. He just wants to take care of ya and the kiddo. I don't think nothin' bout it." She shakes her head and chuckles, "ask Marion, he'll tell ya I never worked a day in my life, not outside chasin' after him but let me tell ya a secret," she turns the dough in the oil, "I would get my money at night. Where we live, you make a killin' with that phone sex stuff. All them horny old men."

"Dot," you gasp.

"Oh, Harlan knew, he thought it was so funny, ya know? I'd tell him when one of the fellas he worked with would call," she cackles, "got a good laugh."

"Money is money," you say.

"Damn right, talkin' up them old pervs got my boy into Harvard," she smirks, "that's the thing about men. That one part of em is always the easiest to talk to."

"Uh huh," you step away and rest your hand on your stomach, "god, I can't stop peeing." You put your cup down hastily as your bladder squeezes.

"Ah, I don't miss that," she calls after you, "baby boy used to line dance on my bladder."

You close yourself into the bathroom and struggle to get your leggings down. You sit and sigh, letting the pressure drain and the news sink in. Maybe he took a few words to heart or maybe you're giving him too much credit. Either way, he's gone and you can breathe.

💎

"It's all comin' together," Dottie says as Harlan pushes the crip against the wall, wiping sweat from his forehead with the back of his head.

"Yes, looks good," you agree, "I like the bunnies. Good choice."

"Oh, I almost forgot," Dottie trills and goes over to the white box on the change table, "Harlan picked this one out. Hun, don't forget to hang it."

She opens the flaps and Harlan nears her. She lifts out the large orb, a fascimile moon, and turns to him. They're cute together, you won't ever have that.

He takes it and hangs it from the hook over the crib. He smiles up at it, "I always liked to watch the moon, ya know?"

"Lights up and everything," Dottie explains, "all different colours for the baby."

You stare at it. This baby if anything will be spoiled. You'll have to be the bad guy. The one who moderates. The one who says no when everyone else says yes.

Like everyone else you've ever known, this child will hate you.

You feel your chest caving in at the thought. You can never be what this baby needs. You've never been enough for anyone. A girl, too.

What a curse. To be a girl in this world. With a father like him and a mother like you.

"I… it's beautiful," you're not lying and the crack in your voice startles even you. But it's not the sentimentality that it seems, it's absolute and consuming terror. "I'm sorry, I need to lay down."

"You feel alright?" Harlan asks with concern.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just… tired."

"Well, you take it easy, darling," he girds.

"You let us know if ya need anything, honeybun," Dottie says.

"Of course, uh," you swallow tightly, "thank you. Both."

"It's nothin'," Dottie insists.

"No, really, thank you for being so… kind."

"Well, honey, you're our daughter as much as Marion's our boy," she smiles, "don't you forget that now."

You leave them and go back to the bedroom. You climb into bed and cocoon yourself in the blankets. You hate it. You hate how hot, how sharp every emotion is.

All this baby stuff makes you wonder and worry. You don't imagine your parents were ever that excited for you. They never beamed over your crip or delighted in choose cute stuffies or the perfect pacifier.

You are unwanted. Unexpected and unloved.

You didn't of that shit. Not for years. So why now?

You can be better than that. You have to be. You can't live with the idea you might pass on all this insecurity.

You sniffle and dab your eyes before they can prick. You blow out between your lips and lay flat. Big mistake.

You grunt as you sit up. As much as you'd love to sleep it into oblivion, you're restless. You hate the fact that Lloyd's unannounced absence has you on edge. He'll be back and not knowing when is worse than having him around.

There's a gentle tapping on the door. You try to shake off your nerves and you clear your throat.

"Yes?"

"Uh, don't mean to bother none, but… we didn't get to that finale… that lil snake eyed boy got me curious," Harlan says from the other side.

You can't help but smile. You never would've guessed his interest in trashy reality TV.

"Come in," you reach for your phone.

He opens the door slowly, inching inside, "you sure, kid?"

"Kid? No one's called me that in ages," you chuckle, "yeah, I'm ready to see it all go up in flames."

He has a tablet in hand and comes around the other side of the bed, "may I?"

"Sit, sit," you pat the mattress.

He's got the episode queued up and you help prop it between you with a pillow. He sits back with arms crossed and you hit play, the recap rolling at once.

You're quiet as the narrator goes through the most dramatic scenes of the season. You glance at Harlan from the corner of your eye. You never had this, never had a dad who wanted to do anything with you. Nothing aside from holding a wrench as he ignored you.

"Why are you so nice?" You ask at last.

He shifts and looks at you, "why don't you think you deserve that?"

You scoff and shake your head, "you don't know me."

"I know you're too good for my son, and I'm gonna let him know that. Again. Maybe this time, he'll hear me," he reaches over, gently taking your hand, "I'm still young enough to kick his ass."

You grin and feel the tension seep from you. You relax and lean against his shoulder, turning to watch the screen. He squeezes your hand as he rests his head against yours.

It’s peace. For now.

#lloyd hansen x reader #dark lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #drabble #dark drabble #dark!drabble #series #unexpected #the gray man

[1nm8translations]

1Nm8 Voice Drama "SHOWDOWN" Translation

Fan translation of 1Nm8's Voice Drama "SHOWDOWN" from the Paradox Live -Road to Legend- Consolation Match "SHOWDOWN" album, released on February 1st 2023.

I recommend listening along to the track on Spotify if you can.

Rokuta: Huh? That's strange... This was supposed to be the way. Exit that park and go right, yeah? And next... Uh... Which way was it?

Rokuta: Oops! I have to eat some candy. I'd collapse again...

Shiki: Oh? Rokuta-kun?

Rokuta: Shiki! Amazing, why are you here?

Shiki: Why, you ask... I'm going back from school.

Rokuta: Is that so!

Shiki: Rokuta, you're alone today?

Rokuta: Yep, I wanted to visit you! You said you'd show me your cat!

Shiki: I’ve said that, haven’t I? So, want to go back together?

Rokuta: Yup! What a relief! To be honest, I was about to get lost. Suddenly, I couldn't remember the way to your store.

Rokuta: The last Paradox Live was fun, wasn't it!

Shiki: Um...yeah.

Rokuta: To think that Kei-chan's song would lose...

Shiki: Sorry.

Rokuta: You don't have to say sorry. We received a lot of support... It's frustrating and sad to lose... But we got some great vibes! TCW was amazing! You were cool too, Shiki!

Shiki: ...Thank you.

Rokuta: If we win in the consolation match, we're gonna fight you guys again.

Shiki: Yes. We won't lose, though.

Rokuta: Us either!

(both laugh)

Shiki: Right!

Rokuta: Yep!

(sound of a cat meowing happily)

Rokuta: Woow! Your cat is so fluffy!

Shiki: I'm sorry, you've come all this way, but Ryuu-kun seems to have left on a walk.

Rokuta: It's okay! Shiki is here, and Kurobuchi is here too! Right?

Kurobuchi: Meow!

Shiki: You wanted to see Ryuu-kun, but is it okay to leave the frying pan bending for the next time?

Rokuta: Huh?

Shiki: Ryuu-kun wants to win against you, so he's been bringing old frying pans from all over. Master got angry at him for it, though.

Rokuta: Sorry, what are you talking about?

Shiki: Eh? You don't remember? He promised to show you the last time...

Rokuta: Aah!

Kurobuchi: Meow?

That's right! I remembered about the cat, though... Sorry, I forgot!

Shiki: Hm...

Rokuta: Recently, I'm a bit forgetful... Sometimes I space out, and quickly forget what others ask me to do...

Shiki: Are you okay?

Rokuta: I'm fine, totally fine! If nothing else, my body is made sturdy. The gas mileage is totally awful, though.

Rokuta: Ah, coffee! I'm gonna add a lot of sugar! Can I put in milk, too?

Shiki: Of course.

Rokuta: Aah! It was delicious! Shiki, you're good at brewing coffee.

Shiki: Thank you.

Rokuta: Hey, who plays this piano?

Shiki: Master plays it.

Rokuta: Ah... that guy whose face is a little scary?

Shiki: Um. Master is amazing. No matter what song it is, he can play it after hearing it a few times. Even without looking at the score, no matter if it's jazz or classical, he plays it so easily. Cool, right?

Rokuta: Then, am I cool too?

Shiki: Eh?

Rokuta: He can play songs by ear, right? I can do that too! Kei-chan is better than me, though. Can I play the piano here?

Shiki: Oh, sure.

(Rokuta takes a deep breath, then plays)

Shiki: Rokuta-kun, you're amazing!

Rokuta: Hehe... was I cool?

Shiki: Yes! It was a wonderful song! Who composed it?

Rokuta: Whose might it be...I can't remember, but it's my most favorite. I played it a lot in Alter Trigger's facility, too.

Rokuta: And this song is special. It's the song that let me meet Kei-chan. It's a song of happiness.

Rokuta: Woow! There's so many people! And so many tall buildings! So that's what outside is like!

Itsuki: We were locked up in the facility ever since we were kids, after all. To be honest... There's so much information coming in outside I'm about to get dizzy.

Rokuta: Are you okay, Itsuki-nii? Should we rest up somewhere?

Itsuki: No need. I can't afford to complain like that. We're going to have to live out here from now on. Find employment and a place to stay by ourselves.  

Rokuta: Let's rest after all! Look, there's a bench over there.

Itsuki: Alright.

Rokuta: Here, some water.

Itsuki: I'm sorry. Just because I made you go along with my selfish whim...

Rokuta: You're wrong! This is what we decided on together, isn't it? It's not your fault, Itsuki-nii.

Itsuki: When we were released from the facility, we had two choices. As victims of the experiments, we could've entered the government support program, and aim at reintegration into society while living at another facility. That was the first choice.

Rokuta: Un.

Itsuki: The other choice was to receive a grant from the government and become free. Given our circumstances, it couldn't have been called rational...

Rokuta: Hehe. We chose freedom, though.

Itsuki: Yeah. To be controlled and managed by someone else any longer would've been intolerable. But...

Rokuta: It will be fine, Itsuki-nii! There will be difficult things, for sure, but if we combine our strengths, it will work out somehow!

Itsuki: Rokuta, you're strong.

Rokuta: My mileage is bad, though.

(they laugh)

(far-away sound of a piano being played)

Rokuta: Piano? It's the sound of a piano!

Itsuki: Who may be playing it, in the middle of the city?

Rokuta: Lets go! Let's go and see!

Kurobuchi: Meow!

Shiki: Was it a street piano?

Rokuta: Yeah. They're all over the city now. When I suddenly played it, everyone was really happy.

Rokuta: There, there, Kurobuchi loves the piano too, huh?

Kurobuchi: Meow~.

Rokuta: Then, from time to time, I'd play there. I got pretty popular, and there were even people who gave me money. That day, too, I went to play at the usual place.

(the same melody as Rokuta played to Shiki resounds)

Kei: (breathless, frantic) I'm sorry, let me through. Let me come to the front!

Kei: This song...There's no mistake. Minori? You're Minori, right?

Rokuta: (stops playing) Eh?

Kei: I'm Kei! Your older brother!

Rokuta: Because of this song, I met Kei-chan. As a side effect of the experiment, I lost memories of the past, but it seems my real name was 'Minori'...

Rokuta: Me and Kei-chan were siblings, and we were raised together at an orphanage. But frankly speaking... being called Minori feels a little weird. I love Kei-chan, but it doesn't feel like he's my older brother...

Shiki: Rokuta-kun...

Rokuta: Aah, sorry! Aaah, it became a heavy story somehow...I'll return home for today!

Shiki: Huh?

Rokuta: Let's do the fry pan bending next time. Bye-bye, Kurobuchi.

(sound of bells over the door, Rokuta opens the door again)

Rokuta: Shiki, thank you for the coffee!

(door bells again)

Shiki: Rokuta-kun...

Kurobuchi: Meow...

Rokuta: I'm back!

Itsuki: You're late. Where did you go? I’ve told you to leave a memo with a destination when you're leaving, haven't I?

Rokuta: Oh - Sorry, I forgot. I went to Shiki's.

Itsuki: TCW's bar? Did you see Zero?

Rokuta: Nuh-uh, only Shiki. Shiki and the cat... Wait, what was his name again?

Itsuki: Wash your hands quickly. I'm making dinner.

Rokuta: Yay! What will the side dish be?

Itsuki: Kaarage. You were saying you want to eat some over and over yesterday, weren't you?

Rokuta: Eh? Really?

Itsuki: You forgot?

Rokuta: I'm sorry! I'm a bit forgetful lately…

(Itsuki grabs him)

Itsuki: When did it start?

Rokuta: What do you mean, when...

Itsuki: It wasn't after Paradox Live by any chance, was it?

Rokuta: Maybe... What's wrong, Itsuki-nii? You're making such a scary face.

Itsuki: Rokuta, you...

Rokuta: What is it?

Itsuki: Rokuta, just this week, how many times do you think you've forgotten recent events?

Rokuta: Eh...

Itsuki: There were so many it cannot be categorized as 'a little forgetful' And now, you've forgotten the name of a cat you've just seen in person.

Rokuta: No, that's just...

Itsuki: Be honest! Could it be your memory, again...

Rokuta: Don't say it!!!

Rokuta: Don't tell Kei-chan!

Rokuta: If Kei-chan learns something weird's been happening to me because of Paradox Live, he's going to blame himself again!

(Rokuta’s voice is tearful, gets progressively weaker and labored) 

Rokuta: He's gonna say he will quit music he loves so much...

Rokuta: I don't want that!

Itsuki: Rokuta…

Rokuta: I'm making Kei-chan sad even now... Since I don't remember the past, I can't think of him as 'oniichan' from the heart...So please... don't tell him...!

Rokuta: I don't want to... make Kei-chan... sad... any more than this...

Itsuki: Rokuta!? Rokuta!!

(sound of an ambulance siren)

Itsuki: Are you alright, Kei? Here, water. You should put drink some, even a little bit.

Kei: Thank you. Sorry. Even though I should get a grip…

Itsuki: Your younger brother suddenly collapsed. It's normal to lose your head.

Kei: Itsuki. I'm glad you were there.

Itsuki: According to the doctor, it's just simple anemia. To be safe,  they will keep him overnight for observation.

Kei: I wonder... is it really only anemia, though...

Itsuki: ...Rokuta tried to stop me from telling you no matter what, but...

Kei: Loss of recent memory?

Itsuki: Yes. It seems the things he forgets are limited to recent information.

Kei: Why...

Itsuki: The cause is unknown. However, I believe the symptoms began to show after Paradox Live... after that stage.

Kei: Then-!

Itsuki: I cannot deny that it might've played a part. It was a battle that took both stamina and mental strength. Even I felt that it was different from before.

Itsuki: Even if I talk to the doctors, there are no documents on us. I heard that Alter Trigger destroyed all experiment data before it fell into the hands of the police. There's no choice but to observe him from now on.

Kei: Is this... a punishment?

Itsuki: Eh?

Kei: For me, for continuing to use the phantometal while hating it...

Itsuki: You're wrong! That's not it, Kei. 

(sound of Itsuki grabbing him/touching his shoulder) 

Itsuki: This is what we two have chosen. We won't let the tragedy repeat. By any sacrifices necessary.

Itsuki: Kei. Don't underestimate our resolve. No matter what happens, I and Rokuta will follow you. Without regret.                                                                                                                                                             Kei: Itsuki...

Itsuki: I will lend you my shoulder. You should sleep for a bit. If Rokuta sees you like this when he wakes up, he will worry.

Kei: I'm sorry. Then, just for a little.

Itsuki: There's no need to apologize. When things get tough, rely on me too. You try to shoulder everything too much.

(clock ticking, Kei breathing deeply)

Itsuki: Kei, you're too immaculate. Things that are too beautiful are fragile. One day, they will break... I'm terrified of that.

Rokuta: Ah, I can finally return home!

Itsuki: You're over-exaggerating. You were in the hospital for only one night, right?

Kei: What were the results of the examination?

Rokuta: Hmm... They examined me a bunch, but...They said there's nothing off in particular! It seems it was simple anemia after all! 

Rokuta: I'm hungry! Let's eat something on the way home!

Kei: Good idea. What would you like?

Rokuta: Kaarage!

Itsuki: While recovering?

Rokuta: Oh, this sound! It's the piano from that time!

Itsuki: Wait...Rokuta!

Rokuta: Kei-chan, Itsuki-nii, come here! Hurry!

Itsuki: Are you going to be okay, getting excited like that?

Rokuta: It's fine! I just really want to play music right now!

Kei: Rokuta...

Kei: This song...

Rokuta: "Yup! It's from the time when Kei-chan found me!"

Kei: Rokuta…

(Kei stops Rokuta for a moment)

Kei: Can I play next to you?

Rokuta: Ah..yeah.

Kei: Rokuta, you know? This song should actually be played by two people. I've always wanted to tell you...But I couldn't.

Rokuta: With two people?

Kei: So. Let's go. From the beginning.

Rokuta: Un.

(they play together, the melody is different from before)

Someone from the crowd: That's the guys from 1Nm8, right?

Passerby: This is the first time I've seen such a performance…

(applause)

Rokuta: Kei-chan...

Kei: Rokuta?

Itsuki: Why are you crying?

Rokuta: I remembered. The one who made this song was Kei-chan.

Kei: That-that's right. Rokuta...?

Rokuta: It always felt weird. Even though I loved the song, it was like something was missing. That's why I played it a lot, to search for that something. I thought if I play it, I'll figure something out.

Rokuta: What was missing...was Kei-chan, right?

Kei: (strangled sob)

Rokuta: (crying) Kei-chan! I finally realized it! Kei-chan... is my older brother. I don't get it... but I know. Why don't I get it? I do know it! That’s why I am so sad...And so happy!

Kei: Mino..Rokuta!

Itsuki: It's a good song.

Kei: Itsuki. Did Rokuta fall asleep yet?

Itsuki: Yeah.

Kei: I see. That's good.

Itsuki: Are you alright?

Kei: I'm okay. Even if just a little, Rokuta regained his memories. I have to be happy about that. But…

Itsuki: About that... there's something I'd like to talk to you about.

Kei: Hm?

Itsuki: Let's talk on the sofa.

Itsuki: This is just what I inferred. I don't have solid proof, but...Please listen with that in mind.

Kei: I understand.

Itsuki: I thought about today. It might be that Rokuta didn't completely lose his memories after all.

Kei: Huh?

Itsuki: The memory itself is in Rokuta's brain. But because of the influence of the metal, Rokuta lost access to it. That's what I concluded.

Kei: Because of metal's influence?

Itsuki: Yes. It's already known that metal can influence people's memories. A solid proof of that is the trap reaction. If you can forcibly bring out people's memories using metal, then the reverse is also possible.

Kei: That makes sense.

Itsuki: Closing the door to his memories with a key of their own accord, making it so the person itself can access them of their own will...If we explain Rokuta's memory loss in such a way, it adds up.

Kei: To sum it up... The memories as such remain in Rokuta's brain. But, the metal stops him from remembering. Is that what you mean?

Itsuki: Exactly. And today, when Rokuta regained some of his memory, I've confirmed it. 

Kei, in the music you create... There's something like a medicine that can repair the effects of the metal.

Kei: You can't mean...

Itsuki: That power might've been building up with Paradox Live as a catalyst.

Kei: In Paradox Live...

Itsuki: Yes, on that stage. Kei, you must've felt it too. It was different than before. There was something unusual.

Kei: Rokuta and Itsuki... I felt like I connected to you two through music. Deeper than ever before. More strongly.

Itsuki: Through performing as 1Nm8, we've connected. Through music, our conciousness resounded deeply with each other, and as a result, the metal's effects have weakened somewhat.

Kei: Such a thing...

Itsuki: And it's not just Rokuta. It had an effect on my power, too. Kei...Your music is affecting it.

Kei: Itsuki, you too?

Itsuki: During the Paradox Live stage, and today too, while I listened to your performance, the same thing happened. It can't be a coincidence.

Kei: What happened?

Itsuki: The resolution and convexicity of the world around me seemed different. Probably, it was what a normal human being should be seeing...I’ve seen it! 

Itsuki: Even if it was just momentary, my super-memorization returned to normal.

Itsuki: I'm going to say something that isn't like me, but today, I've felt a touch of fate.

Kei: Fate...

Itsuki: That day, the three of us met... and now we're working together as 1Nm8...

Kei: Itsuki...

Itsuki: Kei, Rokuta. I... The things we've lost are all different, but there's only one way to recover them. To connect through 1Nm8's music. That... only that... Will save us.

Kei: But if we perform a concert again, and something bad happens to the memory of the two of you again...

Itsuki: I'm prepared! If it's to regain what the metal has taken from me, I'm prepared to lose anything!

Kei: Itsuki...

Itsuki: I've told you at the hospital already. We won't let a tragedy take place again. For that sake, we're ready for any sacrifice... That's what Rokuta and I have decided.

Itsuki: Don't give in to doubt... don't hesitate, Kei! No matter what happens, Rokuta and I are with you. To us, you're someone special.

Kei: Huh?

Itsuki: I beg you, Kei. Please fight with us.

Kei: Fate... You're right. The fact that the three of us met like this might've been fate. 

Kei: I don't want to let anyone suffer again. I don't want to make anyone sad again. For that sake... Yes. If I don't throw all of myself towards that goal...

Itsuki: Kei...

Kei: I was a coward. While I was talking about saving the world, I wasn't prepared to lose anything. Thank you, Itsuki. I also finally made up my mind.

Kei: 1Nm8 will win Paradox Live and abolish phantometal.

Itsuki: Yeah.

Kei: Let's risk everything to end this twisted world.

#1nm8 #kei miyama #rokuta #itsuki #voice drama #paradox live #pararai #voice drama translation

[pettyvxbes]

COLSON BAKER x READER - OCEAN EYES IV

BRIAN, JIMI, JANIS, KURT, AND. . .COLSON?

"Can we get two 16oz house drips, one black with two sugars and the other with two sugars and a splash of cream?" He ordered, remembering exactly how you took your coffee, even after all the time you'd been separated. It made you smile, knowing that you still occupied some space in his mind.

"So this is your coffee shop?" You asked, leaning against the side of the counter as you waited for your drinks.

"Yeah, I opened it last year. It turned out pretty cool." He smiled as he looked around the room. You could tell he was proud of it.

"It's badass" You agreed with him.

"If you're hungry, we serve brunch." Colson handed you a menu to peruse. "This is actually why I was at the farmers market. All of our fruits and vegetables are local." You looked over the list of food, noticing all of the fresh ingredients.

"That's so cool. Everything sounds delicious." You said, flipping the menu over to continue exploring. On the opposite side, you found a cocktail menu. Some of the drink names made you chuckle. There was 'the gunner,' 'sex, dope, and cheap thrills,' 'screw me' with its counterpart, 'screw you,' and the 'you know I'm no good.' Without even seeing the ingredients, you immediately thought that the last one sounded like a drink you'd choose.

Colson exchanged the menu in your hands with a coffee cup filled with hot coffee. You looked at him and gave him a weak thank you smile which he inadvertently returned, and just like that, you were taken back to the first morning you had ever spent together.

You woke up randomly as the sun was shining through the tiny window of your dorm room. You were still wearing the same clothes from the night before. It confused you because you hadn't even remembered falling asleep. The last thing you could recollect was laying with Colson in your XL twin bed, which he noted multiple times was fantastic because his tall, lanky ass fit perfectly.

"Good morning," Colson whispered. It took you a moment to fully wake up, but you noticed how your bodies were intertwined when you did. Your head was on his chest, and his arm was holding you close to him. It was cozy.

"Good morning." You repeated, squeezing him and nuzzling your face into his neck. "How long have you been awake?" You asked sleepily, afraid that you were the only one who had dozed off.

You and Colson had agreed to stay up as long as you could talking to each other. After all, it was the first time you had seen each other since Atlanta, and even though you had basically talked every day for the last 3 months, you still had a lot to talk about.

"Not long, maybe like fifteen.. . twenty minutes" He shrugged. "I didn't want to wake you. I just wanted to lay here and hold you a little longer, watch you sleep, smell your hair." He squeezed you, placing a small kiss on the top of your head. "I wanted to memorize all of it because this weekend will be over before we know it, and then It'll be back to facetime calls and falling asleep on the phone."

"Blahhh, don't remind me." You pouted, sitting up to face him. You enjoyed every single second you got to spend with that blue-eyed boy in your bed, and you never wanted it to end. He had quickly become your best friend, your person.

"Sorry. Y'know, you're fucking cute when you're sleepy" Colson smiled at you, no makeup and hair a mess. To him, you were perfection. "Oh, I ordered coffee." He said excitedly as he sat up, reaching for the cups on the table next to your bed. "Remind me to thank your roommate later. She was not very happy when she was woken up by the Doordash driver." He chuckled.

"She'll get over it" You took the warm cup from him, sipping slowly. Careful not to burn your mouth. You immediately spit the coffee back into the cup, scrunching your nose up at the taste. The coffee was sweeter than a glazed chocolate donut filled with thousands of tiny sprinkles. You thoroughly enjoyed coffee, and you liked to be able to taste the flavor in every sip.

"Shit, did I get it wrong?" He asked worriedly. It was one of the topics you had discussed last night, and he had already forgotten.

"Yeah, but we've never had coffee together, so I'll give you a free pass." You joked. "Two sugars and a splash of cream," you reminded him with a small smile.

"I swear I will never forget again." He promised, passing you his coffee to share.

"Let's sit back here" Colson's voice pulled you from your memory. As you followed him to the back of the coffee shop, you noticed photos of different famous musicians on each table.

"What's with the pictures?" You asked, gesturing towards a table with Kurt Cobains' face on it.

"They're all a part of the 27 club." He could tell by the expression on your face that you had no idea what that meant. "a bunch of artists and entertainers that died at the age of 27." Colson explained.

"Oh." you gasped, finally understanding the name of his coffee shop.

Colson led you to a table in the back corner. It was secluded enough to offer a little privacy from the rest of the customers. You took a seat, instantly noticing the photo that was on your table. It was him. Your narrowed eyes and knitted brows caught his attention, and he followed your gaze to determine the look of confusion on your face.

"You're 31." You stated the obvious.

"Yes, but most days I feel like my life ended when I was 27." He let out a small chuckle.

You took a sip of your coffee, waiting for Colson to elaborate further. Quickly getting distracted by the liquid in your cup. When the coffee first hit your tongue, you could taste a combination of floral and fruity notes, but as you swallowed, you noticed a nutty caramel tone. It was unique and unlike any other coffee, you had ever tried.

"Mmm," You hummed quietly, approving of the noteworthy java in your hand. "You remembered how I like my coffee." You said without thinking.

You regretted it almost instantly. You didn't want to discuss your past relationship or talk to Colson like old friends. You just wanted the explanation you deserved so you could be on your way. It wasn't necessary to spend any more time with him than need be. You didn't want to conjure up old feelings any more than you already had by being in this stupid city.

"I said I would never forget, didn't I?" He looked at you like you made the whole world spin, and for a moment, it was like time stood still.

"God. I'm so stupid." His words came out as a whisper as he looked away from you. Shame and guilt wallpapered his face. "I made the biggest mistake of my life by losing you, and it's something I'm never going to forgive myself for."

"Why'd you leave Colson?" You were blunt, and your words were shaky.

"Because y/n, you deserved better." He paused, collecting his thoughts before continuing. "I was laying there with you in my arms that morning thinking to myself, 'how can I possibly love this amazing woman the way she deserves to be loved when I don't even like who I am."

The sadness in his voice was evident, and you could clearly see the pain in his glossy blue eyes. He hurt himself just as much as he had hurt you.

"I was the biggest fuck up on the planet. You sacrificed your happiness to be with me, to support my dreams, and be my biggest fan. . .I was selfish, and I took you for granted. I broke your heart, and somehow you still managed to see the best in me. It wasn't fair to you. -- Y/n, I had to go because I knew that staying would have been even more painful for you. I was a sinking ship that was burning, and I couldn't bear to be the reason you went down in flames too." A silent tear slid down his cheek.

You sat there speechless as you listened to the explanation you had waited years to hear. You hadn't even realized it, but at some point, you had started tearing up too. Colson reached over, wiping the tears from your face.

"I hate myself for fucking things up with you." He said, staring at you.

You didn't know what it was about him, but when you looked into those blue eyes, you saw a reflection of your soul staring back at you. He was your person, always had been, and always would be. You and Colson had a once-in-a-lifetime connection. The kind of connection that made you feel alive by just being near him, even the silence between you, was comfortable because you felt complete in each other's presence.

"You are worth so much more than second thoughts and maybes'. I am so sorry y/n" You could feel the emotion in Colson's words. His apology was like rain on a dehydrated garden. Grossly overdue, but miraculously just in time.

You sat in silence for a few moments before speaking. "Earlier, when you said you lost your life at 27, what did you mean?" You questioned.

"Y'know, everyone thought I was overreacting after our breakup. . ." He started. You had no idea where he was going with his response, but you let him continue." what they didn't get was how much of my life you really were. . .You were more than just another relationship down the drain. You were my past, my present, and my future. Y/n, you were my life."

At that moment, you understood why his photo sat on a table in that coffee shop. He was a part of the 27 club, not because he physically perished at 27, but because that was when he lost the only thing that ever made him feel alive, you.

TAG LIST @canyoubuymetoast @ticketstomydaydreams @mvrylee

#colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker fluff #mgk x reader #mgk #x reader #machine gun kelly x reader #machine gun kelly #memories #club 27 #ocean eyes #colson baker x reader

[liibrii]

Chapter 1: Still the same

Ojiro Aran x fem!reader

Synopsis: In Aran's eyes you've always been someone he could lean onto. Before you lost touch after graduating that was. Now that you've found a way back into his life, cracking under the weight of the world, he's determined to be there for you as you were for him. It really is only the question of time before he falls in love with you again but he soon starts to realise he might not know you all that well to begin with...

Genre: hurt/comfort, angst, slow burn, friends to lovers

Warnings: timeskip spoilers, internalised guilt and shame, intrusive thoughts, self doubt, depression, anxiety, swearing, use of alcohol

wc: 3.1k

a/n: if you wanna be tagged lemme know. as always feedback is greatly appreciated!  a big thanks to @rosecaffelatte​ for the help with header and dividers!

“I dig the new look. But why just the beard, why not grow some nice moustache too? You could twirl them during matches. Like some super volleyball villain.“

Aran's coffee goes down the wrong pipe. “Is that how ya see me?” he asks during coughs.

Years later and your laughter still sounds the same. Warmth spreading through him is still the same. It's been a few months since you moved to Tokyo to finish your degree. “Better late than never, right?“ you told him the first time you got coffee together. An unfamiliar bitterness laced your voice then.

“Me? No. But the opponent might.“ You add some sugar to your cup before making a sip. Aran remembers seeing your favourite drink on the menu and wonders why you ordered something else. Maybe you just don't like it anymore. It has been some time since he last saw you.

Almost four years to be exact. Has it really been that long? He remembers the reunion as if it happened yesterday and graduation only a day before.

“We're graduating in a few days so I made you all a little something.“ You pulled neatly wrapped gifts from your bag. “Don't look so suspicious.“Seeing team's faces made you scrunch up your nose. “It's just a framed picture.“

You made one for everyone, even the first years who were merely bench warmers. It's the picture of the entire team taken after you returned from your last nationals. Aran remembers vividly how insistent you were on hanging team banner in the background. 'We don't need memories.' “But I sure do,“ you joked.

There's a hand written message on the back side. A different note for every single member.

“Take that 'Tsumu!“ shouted Osamu back then and pushed his frame under Atsumu's nose, “Look here, 'Don't tell 'Tsumu but yer my favourite twin!'“

Atsumu sneered at his brother: “What're ya talkin' about? 'Tsum-Tsum yer on the way of becomin' the best setter the world has ever known. And don't tell 'Samu but yer my favourite twin!' Take that ya pig!“

Aran laughed with the rest of the team. How typical that you would play twins against each other to create chaos. 'Aran,' his note read, 'don't forget to stretch properly after practice! And please, never sprain your ankle during matches. World doesn't have to know all your socks have holes in them.'

The first time he noticed your absence in his life was only months after graduating. The volleyball club manager who yelled at the cheering squad in front of the entire gymnasium for making a first year cry during a practice match. Fearless.

You were there when he needed someone to lean onto. With a snack and a sports drink, staying late just to make sure he didn't go overboard with practice. A light slap on his shoulders when he was wallowing in self doubt. On the days it got especially bad you pulled a pack of ritz crackers from your secret stash of snacks and bought him a drink on the way home. Sometimes you'd sit on the stone fence by the crossroad where your path home diverged, gossiping for hours about your classmates and teachers. Aran found it so easy to tell you all the trouble weighing on his mind. Be it about school or volleyball, you listened. Even when he knew he was talking nonsense, even when he knew his worries were just unfounded doubts you listened.

“Better to try and fail than to never try at all,“ you once told him.

Aran's lips curved into a small smile. “Where did ya read that? Some ancient philosopher?“

“No, it's a song.“ You pulled out your phone from the pocket and offered him a headphone. “Wanna listen to it?“

It really was no surprise he fell in love with you.

But he never spoke of how his breath caught in his throat, how his heart pounded whenever you were around. How could he when he had always known that look of pure love and adoration in your eyes would never be meant for him?

How could it be when you were so obviously in love with Kita?

No matter how much his heart ached for you he had to admit you and Kita were a match made in heaven. Years later and he still remembers the pictures in your room, you and Kita aged five or so holding hands, bruised knees and dirty cheeks, you and Kita on your first day of elementary school, you and Kita graduating Middle school. You and Kita joining volleyball club together. You and Kita locking pinkies on the way home. You and Kita. Always you and Kita.

He was so jealous back then. It drained so much of his energy trying to prevent the sneering beast from taking over. So much suppressed emotions trying to protect the friendship he to this day holds so dear. But no matter what he did he couldn't prevent his insides clenching every time you took Kita's hand. Well, why did he even expect you'd chose anyone but him? You've known him your entire life. Kita was your best friend from before either of you even knew what that meant. He understood you better than anyone. Why would you ever choose anyone but him?

For years you were happy and for years Aran believed he had moved on. Once in passing Kita even bashfully mentioned marriage. Aran congratulated his friend, even looked at engagement rings with him. That night he cam home and collapsed on the bed dazed from emotions erupting back to the surface. In his lonely, empty apartment he cried his eyes out. Never before had he been so angry at himself. He believed he was over you. And with one single sentence from Kita vines carrying your name sprouted thorns and pierced his heart.

He was a terrible friend, wasn't he? Perhaps this was his punishment for wishing you were in his arms instead. You are happy, right? So why can't that be enough? Even if it's with someone else, if he really loved you then knowing you are happy should be all that matters, right?

You were happy. Until you weren't. Aran was never glad to learn you and Kita broke up. But he wasn't sad either.

“I always thought ya and Shinsuke were gonna be it.“

Warm sunlight dances over your face. You stare out the window, the gaze of your eyes sorrowful. Aran doesn't remember ever seeing you sad. You've always been the happy one, the one capable of lifting others' spirits no matter how bad it was.

You stir your drink. “I thought so too.“ When you lean back your eyes still search for something in the street. “But that's how it goes you know, sooner or later you realise you've been wrong. One way or another.“

You're trying to sound carefree and Aran's heart cracks a little. Why are you trying so hard to conceal the pain? Don't you trust him?

You are still his friend. He's starting to think that maybe... Maybe he isn't yours anymore. He shouldn't have brought up Kita. Idiot.

“Our semi-final match is next week. Ya comin'?“

Before you answer a small voice chimes in. “Uhm, excuse me? Ojiro-san?“ The boy's eyes sparkle with excitement as he asks for an autograph and a picture and Aran's more than happy to oblige. Two other kids show up and then their parents and some of the guests who had been throwing glances at your table for some time. Aran takes his time taking pictures and exchanging pleasantries. Meeting fans is the one aspect of being a renown athlete he likes.

When he turns back at you there's a fond smile on your face. “Remember those times when you thought you had no future in volleyball because you didn't get invited to youth training camp?“ Your voice softens. “Look at you now. Ojiro Aran, outside hitter of Japan's National Team.“

The light trace of pride in your voice makes his face heat up. “I was lucky to have friends who believed in me.“

“True. I better get going, my shift stars in an hour.“ You stand up and collect your things. “Talk to you later!“

What little of time you spent together always seemed to fly past too rapidly. Aran watches through the window as you hurry down the street. His coffee has gotten cold.

His spike wins them the semi-finals. In the eruption of cheering he can't hear your voice but he does see you bouncing on your heels right beside his family. You're wearing his jersey. Not a replica, it's the same jersey he wore the last season. You jumped from happiness when you opened the present. One more for your small collection of former teammates' jerseys.

Aran beams and waves in your direction. If he could he'd run over to hug and spin you around just like he used to do back in high school but he's called away. By the time interviews are over you're long gone. A part of him really hoped you would wait for him. Just like you did back in high school. All there is is a message telling him he was amazing and you're proud of him. His heart swells and for the rest of the day nothing can wipe the wide grin off of his face.

At the after party alcohol runs in rivers. Since there's no practice scheduled for tomorrow his teammates go wild. Aran downs his fifth or sixth shot having lost count a while ago. He's warm and giddy, from the victory, the alcohol, the girl on his lap running her hands up and down his chest. What was her name again? She pulls him to the dance floor, her hair is the same colour as yours and her body feels so nice against his... She looks at him funny when he calls her your name. He gets lost in the blasting music and dim lights, the haze of all the drinks and the arm around his waist.

The sound of the alarm clock might as well be a sack of rocks someone dumped on his head. Even still half asleep the blunt throbbing in his head is becoming unbearable. He wraps himself tighter with the thin blanket. Futon beneath shifts as someone climbs over him.

Or perhaps he's just dreaming.

When the second alarm rings Aran's eyes begrudgingly flutter open. He struggles to pick up the phone trying to hit that snooze button. He rubs the sleep off his eyes. That's not his phone.

The alarm is still ringing. Oh, he's going to have one hell of a headache today. His fingers shake when he finally finds the 'stop' button. For a few moments he lies motionless though the pounding of his heart rings in his ears. Last night is a haze of disconnected voices and pictures. The futon beneath him is too small to be his and he doesn't recognise the pattern of the sheets either. He probably slept with some girl from the party. Better get up and get the awkward 'morning after' conversation over with.

Sitting up he discovers all his clothes are still on. The room doesn't look familiar, yet the smell... There's something homey and intoxicating about it.

Standing up is a feat on its own. He's dizzy from the sleep and the alcohol and has to grab the edge of the desk to steady himself. He closes his eyes and waits for dizziness to pass. In the weak morning sunlight sipping through the window he notices books and pencils strewn all over. There's a framed picture on the window ledge. It takes a moment for him to recognise it.

Last year of high school, the last trip to the beach you made together. Akagi is giving you a piggy-back ride, Omimi holds both of your popsicles with a fond look on his face. Aran stands beside him, carrying the inflatable ring you guys later accidentally popped on a rock, and on the edge of the group is Kita. His face is covered with a post-it note.

Sudden sickness twists his stomach and it's not just too much alcohol to blame. He slides open the door and looks around before walking down a short hallway to the kitchen. You're just packing your bag. “Look who woke up from his beauty sleep. Want some breakfast?“

“Bathroom,“ is all he manages to utter.

“Last door on the right.“

He finds it not a moment too early. How embarrassing, to be throwing up at your place. He feels your hands rub soothing circles on his back as he leans over the toilet. Once his stomach settles down you hand him a glass of water and some headache medicine. His head is spinning. When he finally collects himself enough to stand up on his own you hand him a new toothbrush. “I gotta go in a few minutes. Professor doesn't like us being late.“

“What happened?“ His voice is hoarse.

“You had a drink too much Mr. Lightweight,“ you say with a loop sided grin. “A girl form the party called me in the middle of the night asking for someone to pick you up. It's a good thing she did cause everyone was so drunk they couldn't stand straight. You guys really did take celebrating to a whole new level. I did take you to your place but when we got there your keys were gone. So might want to look into that. Also I'm pretty sure I strained a muscle dragging you up the stairs.“ You glimpse over to the clock on the wall. “Listen, I really have to go. My roommate'll be home all day so you can stay if you want. And when you get hungry just take something from the fridge. You gonna be alright?“

Aran nods. Fuck, even that hurts. “Need to sleep it off,“ he mumbles.

You give him one more pat on the back before you leave. He struggles for a while trying to unscrew the tube of toothpaste. Never before has brushing teeth posed such a challenge. He washes his face with ice cold water that does nothing to improve the headache or his mood.

He collapses back on your futon. So, this is your room then. It's nothing like the one he remembers from back home. The Vabo-chan plushie team gifted you for your birthday lies on the pillow. It still holds the ball Omimi made at the last moment, not that he was the one given this task in the first place. It was meant as a joke yet you brought it with you to Tokyo. Aran snuggles it, noticing how pale and worn out it's becoming. He drifts back to sleep, thinking he should tell the others you still have it. They'll be glad to hear it.

No matter how hard Aran tries to pay you back the money for the taxi ride from the party you refuse. The only payment you're prepared to accept is a trip to the seaside. The moment you see the endless blue water you run closer, discarding your shoes on the beach. Seeing you splash around in the shallow water makes him laugh.

He lays out the blanket and watches over you. It's good seeing the exhaustion on your face being washed away. Even if you didn't complain at all and said nothing he could tell balancing college and work is taking its toll. Despite smiling and appearing as carefree as always you seem tired. Aran is starting to fear you'll break under the weight of whatever it is you refuse to tell him.

He lays back on his bag, basking in the warm sun. Soon he dozes off. Once he wakes up you're laying beside him and scribbling in the margins of an article you have to read for an upcoming lecture. He lets you work and simply enjoys your presence. He missed hanging out with you, even if you don't do anything special he's just glad to have you around.  

As evening falls he draps his jacket on your shoulders. You always loved stealing – not stealing he corrects himself, borrowing- you always loved borrowing jackets and hoodies.

“Hey Aran? Can... Can I tell you something?“ You hide your face beneath the hood of his jacket.  

“'Course ya can.“

“Remember the old maple tree by the crossroad?“

Aran thinks for a moment. “Ya mean the one Suna dared ya to climb and ya fell down from?“

“That one yeah.“ A shadow of a smile flies over your lips at the memory.

“Everyone thought Oomi-sensei would throw ya outta the club. Shouldda seen the second year's faces when they thought we'll lose our precious manager.“

“A few months ago I walked past it. Thought about climbing it.“

“Lemme guess, ya couldn't? College life sucked all the strength from yer arms? Told ya ya should exercise more.“

“I was scared.“ You take a deep breath. “I climbed that tree a thousand times before. And now I'm too scared to even touch the lowest branch.“ You fidget with the hem of his jacket. “It scared me so much you know, not noticing how much I've changed.“

“Ya haven't changed that much.“

You look at him. “Haven't I?“

“No.“ Lies. A part of him knows it's lies. “Yer still the same. Our precious manager.“ He playfully pokes your shoulder. Yeah, you're still the same. You're still the you he remembers. “Yer my friend. Fearless. Always there to kick some sense into me.“ You're still the same girl he fell in love with all those years ago. “Yer one of my best friends. Nothin's gonna change that. Besides-“

“I hated you.“

Seagulls' calls. Waves crashing on the shore. People chatting in the distance. “Well, hate might be a bit too strong...“ You pull your knees to your chest and hug them, your eyes fixed on the waning light on the horizon. “I was so envious of you, you know? Of all of you... You, Akagi, Omiren,... You all knew what you wanted, you going pro, them going to college, and Shin... Even back in school I was the odd one out. I couldn't admit to myself that I envied you. Now I know it was wrong. So fucking childish. But that's how I felt.“ You can't bear to look him in the eye. “Sometimes I still feel like the one who has no idea what to do with her life...“

A lump forms in Aran's throat. He had no idea. Too blinded by your light, too engrossed in his own feelings to notice what was happening underneath your carefree facade.

“Knowing that tell me,“ you glance at him and tears in your eyes glimmer in the last beams of the setting sun, “can really nothing change our friendship?“

Ch. 2: Tattered

#ojiro aran #ojiro aran x reader #ojiro aran imagine #ojiro aran angst #aran x reader #ojiro aran x y/n #hq #haikyuu x reader #inarizaki x reader #inarizaki angst #all that is gold #libri scribbles

[wickedbarnes]

Guns and Roses (Pt. 2) | John Wick x Reader

Part 1

SYPNOSIS: After the little visit from the new flower shop downtown, John slowly finds himself on edge and being haunted by a certain innocent girl.

THEME: Non-con. Dubcon. Obsession. Dark!John x Innocent/Naive!Reader. Abduction. Lots of smut. Don't read if any of these make you uncomfortable. 18+ readers ONLY.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Slight mention of violence.

John hadn't find the time to visit her yet. And days passed by, he had grown irritated by the fact without him noticing. He was easily angered but then again, he was like a ticking time bomb ever since his wife died. When Helen Wick was sent six feet underground, she took the man that John once was.

A whole different version of him was left behind. A version of him that shook his enemies to the core. Because if John Wick was already known to be brutal, the man who he is today was worse than that now. And somehow, that alarmed some people.

Some of them believed he was losing a few screws. But they weren't bold enough to be loud about the rumor. They didn't want to take any chances. Last time someone uttered the name of Helen Wick and used it to push John's buttons, they had their head cut off. The slow way. After that, no one was brave enough to do what the last guy did.

And somehow, his pal, Aurelio noticed how John was always so antsy and on edge as if one tap on his shoulder would cause him to have a killing spree.

"John, you need to take it easy." He sighed and poured the man a drink. The assassin grumbled and leaned back on his seat broodingly.

"I am taking it easy." He reasoned out but he knew Aurelio wasn't buying any of that shit.

"I'm not stupid, man. I notice how you seem so... I don't know, seem so... irritated. Like something's been bugging you. Do you wanna tell me about it?"

"There's nothing to tell." By the tone of John's voice, Aurelio raised his arms up in defeat.

"Okay, but you gotta push yourself, man." He sighed and took a sip of his drink, "You can't mope around forever. You need to do something. Go out, find someone new, figure a new hobby. Stop restricting yourself, John."

John gripped the glass tightly as his mood worsened by what Aurelio was saying but a voice inside his head told him that he was just doing what any friend would do during a hard time.

"I'm perfectly fine with how I'm doing. I got a job, I book bind, I keep myself busy. I'm good to go." John answered which made his friend sigh deeply.

"John, you're holding yourself back and it's so evident. Stop doing things that you feel is what you need to do. Do the things that you want to do. I know for a fact that you don't want to go back to being an assassin nor does book binding give you enough benefits now but you're doing them because you feel somehow obligated."

John stayed silent as Aurelio's words began to register inside his head.

"You still have some years left, man. Don't waste it. If you want to socialize, do it. Don't hold yourself back. Jesus, if you want to hook up with thousands of bitches, do it! No one's telling you no."

John took a huge swig of his drink.

"What I'm saying is, I know Helen wouldn't have wanted you to live this way. She would've wanted you to move on."

John sometimes hated how right Aurelio was. He sometimes hated it when he makes a point and that often happens. But his words did got himself thinking.

Would Helen be happy with the man John has turned out?

He already knew the answer to that but John can't bring himself to accept it. Without another word, he got up from his seat and decided to call it a day before he drove back into his empty shell of a home.

It wasn't even dark out yet. But John found himself being utterly exhausted. Maybe it was because of his recent mission the other day. Sighing, he craned his neck a bit and felt the kink that had been bothering him for a few days. The bruises on his body didn't help either. He somehow remembered how Helen would tend to his wounds everytime before he retired. How she'd treat every cut and every bad bruise that was etched on his skin.

But now he needed to make do and do all that himself.

Or maybe someone could still do it for him? Would that girl have the same touch as Helen had or would it be more comforting? Would it be- No. No.

John shook his head and tightened his grip around the steering wheel. This was one of his everyday struggle now. Ever since he visited that damn flower shop, John finds himself thinking about her every now and then. Even when he willed himself not to, that girl was sneaky enough to slip through his mind yet again.

The assassin would sometimes compare her to Helen. There was no doubt she was younger than him and even younger than Helen. If John wasn't mistaken, maybe he was twice her age. And he hates how he likes that fact.

He never found himself being attracted to women who were much younger than him. But after seeing her, John finds himself debating whether he'd make an exception for that.

The daisy he tucked safely in the pocket of his coat was placed neatly and safely on his nightstand. Why? He has no idea. But at the same time, he does. The daisy was as delicate as she was. And John wanted to grasp that sense of delicateness and purity in his hands. He wanted to cherish it somehow. And so, every morning when he wakes up, he'd check to see if the daisy that fell from her hair was still there where he placed it.

He relaxed everytime he sees it.

"Get your shit together." He'd tell himself. But just as he did, he found himself driving by the familiar flower shop. And if John had the chance to kick himself right in the balls for parking on the side of the road, he would've.

He should've walked away. He should've drove back home but his feet had carried him inside the shop where he found himself entering, the bell ringing as he opened the door.

There weren't many customers inside but John had noticed there was quite a change the last time he had been here. There were more chairs and tables and John noticed how there were baked goodies being served to the customers.

His attention was taken when he found her walking out from the back of the room with flour smeared on her cheek. Today, she was wearing a pastel pink, puff-sleeved dress and her hair was let loose, letting it pool down her back in beachy waves. She looked absolutely adorable. Stunning, even.

And John found himself admiring the color pink on her.

"Oh, hey!" The girl greeted her with a bright smile on her face, "Haven't seen you around. Have you been taking good care of your cactus?"

John chuckled and stuffed his hand in the pockets of his jeans as he nodded.

"Yeah, I finally got the hang of it. It's looking pretty healthy, thankfully."

"That's great! If you want more, just tell me and I'll give you a discount." She'd say, whispering the last part to him as if she was afraid someone would hear and be offended that she offered John a discount.

"Oh, I'll keep that in mind for sure."

"So, what can I get you today? Finally managed to turn this into a little café. And thank God I don't have to do it all alone now." John turned his head to see a girl just about her age serving coffee to the couple on the other side of the room.

"This place looks great, really." John complimented her and began to look over at the pastries that were placed on the display counter.

He wasn't a big fan on sweets but John didn't want to be rude and come here just to chat with her although he wouldn't mind that one but. But a voice in his head convinced him to at least buy one of her baked goods and have a taste on something that she made herself.

"I'll just have a blueberry muffin and some coffee to go, sweetheart." John would say after some time, not meaning to call her another pet name. He internally punched himself in the face for that and somehow hoped she didn't catch onto it or at least find it weird.

But he was relieved, a bit ecstatic when he saw how her face blushed slightly to what he just called her. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from grinning at the fact that he now knows he somehow has an effect on the girl.

She'd nod her prettt little head and wrote his order quickly on the notepad she had.

"How would you, uhm, like your coffee, sir?" She asked, looking up at him with those adorable fucking doe eyes and John had to clench his fist to stop himself from reaching over and caress her cheek while she looked up at him like this. As if she was ready to submit whatever he wanted her to submit.

"Black. No sugar, no creamer." John answered as the bashful girl in front of him nodded her head obediently and John smiled faintly at how she took in every word he had said.

"This'll be done in a minute or two. Find somewhere you can sit and I'll serve it to you." She smiled and John thanked her for her service and immediately gave her his pay. But as she began to prepare his order, John slipped in a generous amount of cash and put it inside the tip jar that she had before he walked over to a vacant seat near the counter where she worked.

He knew she could've easily just called her name so he could get the order himself since that's how cafés usually work but since she offered to serve his order herself, how could John possibly say no to an offer like that?

It only took a few minutes before she walked over to his table and placed his order down carefully in front of him. John's eyes were focused on her, as if he was taking in every bit of her features inside his mind, as if he was trying to memorize every crevice of her body, every freckle or mark that she had on her skin and by the looks of how her cheeks had blushed yet again, John knew that she knew he had been staring at her.

"Will that be all, sir?" She asked somewhat shyly and John chuckled at her bashfulness. She looked adorable. Too adorable. And not the kind where he wanted to pinch her cheeks. It was the kind where he wanted to push her up against the wall or caress her inner thigh just to see what kind of reaction she would get.

"That'll be all, sweetheart. But I suppose it wouldn't be too much of me if I ask for your name?" He asked politely, not wanting to come off as creepy or too intense. He wouldn't want to risk blowing up his chance in knowing the name of the fairy-like dame such as herself.

"O-Oh, uh..." She bit her lip down nervously before she answered, "Y/N, sir. Y/N Y/LN."

"Y/N." John whispered to himself as if he was testing what her name would sound like rolling off of his tongue, "Nice to meet you, Y/N. I'm John. John Wick."

Y/N smiled faintly at his name and held the circular tray close to her chest.

"It's nice to meet you, John. Hope you enjoy your meal." She'd say and with that, she went back to the counter and began to serve the other customers that came in. Whether they wanted to try out her new pastries and coffee or needed assisting when it came to flowers.

John didn't waste his time nor his money and began to dig into his muffin and surprisingly, he found out how much he liked it. The muffin wasn't too sweet nor was it too bland. It was just right for his taste. He could never finish the muffin that Helen made back then. They always came out too sweet. Sometimes too dry. Even the coffee he ordered managed to taste better than the one he drinks at home.

The assassin seemed pleased that he managed to finish everything he had ordered. Not only that, it gave him more reason to stop by the shop more. Either he wanted to try Y/N's other baked goods or just for her, only he had to know.

Unfortunately, he had to live early. He had a mission to get to tomorrow and he couldn't risk going without getting any proper sleep. So he begrudgingly stood up from his seat and made his way to the door but not before turning back and sending Y/N a smile and a wink.

The tint of pink reappeared on her soft ample cheeks and John chuckled as she bit her lip and looked away, probably too embarrassed to even wave goodbye at him.

But either way, he was satisfied with how his day had ended.

That night, John went into a blissful sleep. He could swear he smelled the strong aroma of black coffee, could see the flowers loitering in a familiar looking shop, could taste the blueberry muffin he ate earlier.

He could also feel the gentle touch of a certain girl that did nothing but just drive him crazy these past few days. He could feel the fabric of a pastel pink dress brushing against his knee and the giggle that belonged to someone that had daisies in her hair.

This was the first time that he had dreamt of someone apart from Helen and her death. This was the first time he felt warmth radiating in his body. It was the first time he had dreamt of her.

And slowly but surely, he could feel Y/N leaning in, her soft cherry glossed lips brushing against the shell of his ear that only caused him to grip on his pillow tightly.

"John. Wake up, John." She'd whisper just as John heard the familiar beeping of his alarm clock. He fluttered his eyes open and immediately turned it off.

It was 5:30 AM. Sighing, he slowly sat up and turned to look at the daisy that sat perfectly on his nightstand.

And maybe, just maybe, in his groggy state, John picked up his wife's bracelet and placed it inside the drawer before closing it, leaving the little daisy and the cactus Y/N had gifted him on his nightstand.

He smiled at the view. It looked refreshing. But somehow, there was a feeling settling in his stomach that stirred the guilt in him a bit.

Because that was also the first time he had put away Helen's bracelet somewhere where he couldn't see.

But soon enough, the guilt died down as quickly as it came.

TAGS: @a-really-bi-girl @fanficsrusz @fairylightsandchai @pinkzsugar @edgiestwinter @paanchu786 @meetmeinthematinee @baphometwolf666 @fortheloveoffanfic @thesadvampire

#john wick fic #john wick imagines #john wick fanfiction #john wick x reader #john wick #john wick x you #dark!john wick

[halcyonnhood]

Ramen, Baking and Glitter || l.h

Summary: Luke realizes he loves his best friend while on tour and confronts the feelings when he sees her again.

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: possibly a few curse words.

Authors note: The italics are Luke's memories of her! After the asterisks (***) is when they're back in LA and in present tense. I hope the format looks okay, I typed this out on my phone. Also the OC is very special to me (more about that in the tags.) I may write more about her and Luke.

- - -

The band 5 seconds of summer have travelled thousands of miles over the years. They've explored new countries, cities, and towns. They've met new fans, friends, and probably too many flirty humans. Luke enjoys every last bit of it, he thrives on the attention. Yet, no amount of love from fans manages to take his mind off one of his best friends waiting back in LA for him. Everything happens to remind him of Sarah.

When the boys stayed in Japan, Michael had demanded to stop for ‘proper’ ramen before they left the country. Of course, no one had the heart to deny him his love for traditional Japanese food. The four of them had been bantering and talking about plans when the longing had struck Luke. He was mid bite of his chicken ramen and all he can remember is the silly heated debate he and Sarah had before the tour.

Sarah tosses the bright orange bag back at Luke and scrunched her nose in disgust. She hadn't eaten all day and upon arriving at Luke's house, she decided she wanted to fix something easy. So naturally, she rummaged through his cabinets and made Luke reach the ramen shoved on the top shelf. When he handed the orange bag to her with “chicken flavored” printed across the top, she felt like she was going to have a brain hemorrhage. Now she just stares up at the top shelf in disappointment, as if red bags would magically appear instead.

“I want ramen.” Sarah tells him with pouted lips.

“You just threw the ramen at me,” Luke says. He points at the bag on the counter.

“Yeah, because that's disgusting.” She makes sure to enunciate the word disgusting. “It's chicken.”

“What do you have against chicken ramen? You like chicken, we literally just had some last night.” Luke questions.

“Ya, we had grilled chicken. It's the flavoring in the ramen, it's weird.”

“What kind do you like then?”

“Beef.” Sarah says. She gives him a playful smile when he rolls his eyes at her, “It is the only acceptable ramen.”

“It is not!” He argues. “You're just wrong, you monster. Chicken is a classic,”

She fake gags, “I have taste buds, you giant oaf. Now we have to go to the store because you're wrong.”

Luke spent the rest of the Japan trip thinking about Sarah. He thought about how much he missed her randomly dropping by his house and pretending she owned it. He thought about how she would've really enjoyed eating traditional ramen instead of the instant kind, she would never want to leave the foreign country. Lastly, he made a mental note to buy the girl all the beef ramen she could ever want and to find a restaurant that serves the real stuff. He knows something so small would make her whole day and he just wants her to smile.  

Japan isn't the only time Luke is reminded of the strong willed girl. They had met a fan in Munich who looked uncannily like Sarah and he hadn't been the only one who noticed. If Luke's being honest, he hadn't been paying much attention to the girl at first. She had won some radio station competition and the whole band had greeted her at once before she turned to talk to Michael first. He had taken more of a notice to her after catching Michael's not so subtle glance at the boys and the first thing he had connected was the hair. The fan had her hair honey blonde hair pulled back into a French braid, so what? It wasn't uncommon to see the almost brown hair color and the style was popular. It's not like he hadn't seen it on anyone other than Sarah, he had. It was just such a common sight around his household that he automatically associated it with her.

When the fan had made it to him and pulled away from the hug, Luke felt bad for not paying attention to anything she said. He wanted to, but he was captivated by how she could be a perfect doppelganger. Dark olive green eyes, freckles spotted across flushed cheeks, and a small button nose. All things that looked eerily similar and one look at the boys showed that they had seen it too.

“Holy shit,” Michael said as soon as she had left “That kid looked exactly like Sarah,”

“It's weird,” Calum added. “I mean, all of the features just matched,”

Ashton had chuckled at their surprise, “They do say everyone has lookalikes,”

“Still so weird, especially after not seeing Sarah in months.” Luke said with a shrug. He tried not to think about it too hard.

Three different shows went by without Luke being reminded of her. He thinks it's because he made more of an effort to facetime her at the end of his nights and fulfill his longing to talk to her. When they stop in Paris, he's proven wrong. Luke wishes he could be cheesy and say it's because he realized he was in love with her while in the city of love. Except he realized his love was more than platonic weeks ago.

Ashton had suggested that they go somewhere local for breakfast. So, the duo set out on an adventure for the best place that served breakfast. They ended up in a bakery, ordering an abundance of baked goods and iced coffee. The savory scent of bread mingling with the sweet scent of pastries and cookies reminded him of none other than the girl that he may or may not be in love with. More often than not, she'd spend her extra time using new recipes to bake cookies, cake, and bread. Most of the time she subjected the boys to taste testing, but none of them seemed to mind. There would be days that Calum would be sad to come over to Luke's and find no treats. It was even sadder on recording days when she couldn't make it to the studio to visit and drop off her baked goods. The best days were always when she stopped by.

“Booooys,” Sarah sing songs, “I made some cookies!”  

She sits the plate covered with aluminum foil on the desk and sits next to Michael on the couch. Ashton's listening to the producer play back their latest song while both Luke and Calum are diving for the plate to see who gets a cookie first. The sight just reminds her of how childish they can both be and it makes her laugh.

"What kind are they today?” Michael asks.

Luke sits back and looks at the cookie in his hand while waiting for her to respond with her normal rambles about the recipe. Usually she'll tell them all about how the website lied about the amount of butter or come up with an excuse to why ‘the first batch is bad’. He has to admit that he loves hearing her get so passionate over her baking skills.

“I made two. Can you believe it? TWO!” Sarah excitedly tells him. “I made salted caramel and raspberry with white chocolate chips. AND the caramel is homemade!”

"Wait, you know how to make caramel? This is so good” Calum says while waving around the half eaten cookie.  

"It's so easy, it's just cream, sugar, and butter. But it burns if you don't take it off the heat fast enough. I may have ruined a pan,” She explains the last part timidly.

Some time during her explaining how to make caramel, Ashton had also grabbed one of the cookies. He just shakes his head at the girl with a chuckle, “Sarah, you'd be a good baker if you didn't burn everything,”

"Says the man who is on his second cookie,” Sarah says with a glare.

"This is the third time you've burnt something,”

“I'm betting that other bakers have burnt things before!” She argues.

The other three stay quiet as the two go at it, both of them living for the argument. For a minute, Luke thinks that Ashton is enjoying it too much. That is until Sarah's expression softens from the furrowed brow to a relaxed and playful one instead. Sometimes he thinks they're both too argumentative and honest for their own good, but it always ends in good fun. He could never understand why they actually enjoyed arguing and often times egged each other on, but as long as no one ends up in tears, everyone let's them hash it out.

“The cookies are really good, Sarah.” Luke tells her honestly. His insides feel melty and gooey as her eyes light up at the compliment.

"Thank you, Luke!” She thanks him in an overly sweet tone, “You know how to be a GOOD best friend. That's why I love you,”

It's possible that Luke had fallen hopelessly in love, not that he'd admit it. He had spent the entire world tour consumed with thoughts about Sarah, always seeking out bits and pieces of her in every place they visited. He even associated her with ramen out of all things. Ramen. He knew he'd have to deal with the conflicting emotions eventually, but he still opted to push them away to have a clear head for the rest of tour. A mostly clear head. All he knew was that it was a future Luke problem.

*  * *

“Are you really bringing up the brownies I made in 2017?”

“They were MEMORABLE! Gosh, I remember how bitter they were. It feels like it happened yesterday,”

“Cocoa powder is bitter, you little shit!”

The argument can be heard throughout the hallway leading up to the dressing rooms in the Forum. Luke hadn't been expecting to hear the bright voice until later tonight, so naturally when he hears her, it makes his heart soar. Her words towards Ashton sounds harsh, but he can hear the playful hints in her tone. He isn't even to the door and can already visualize her darkened blonde hair falling past her shoulders, her usual makeup, and a smile tugging at her pink lips. He feels like he might explode with excitement.

Luke is right. He leans against the doorframe and watches two of his favorite people argue. She has half of her hair pulled back in a ponytail, purple glitter tapped onto her cheekbones, and the light catches on her shiny lip gloss. Neither of them acknowledge his presence, but Michael gives him a knowing grin from one of the chairs. He doesn't mind, he's just happy to see her again and admittedly he missed their playful fights. It gives him time to think about how he'd admit his love.

Girls are usually the ones to secretly fall in love with their best friends, at least that's how it's always portrayed in shows. Is it weird for guys to do that? Luke isn't sure how he's supposed to tell her, should there be some grand gesture? Just be straight up with no frilly things? He should've bought her flowers on the way here from their last promo video. He just wants her to feel appreciated whether or not she holds the same feelings towards him.

Luke is brought out of his daze by a smaller body colliding with his and warm arms wrapping around his midsection. He envelopes the smaller girl in his arms and gives her the tight squeeze that he's been waiting months for. She pulls back and he smooths down her frizzy hair with a small smile.

“I missed you so much, Luke.” Sarah smiles brightly up at him. The sight is enough to turn his heart to mush.

He just returns the warm smile, “I missed you more,”

“Now that you're here,’ Sarah turns around dramatically and points a manicured finger at Ashton before continuing, “You can protect me from bullies!”

“What's he bullying you bout’ this time?”

“My brownies! He can never be nice to me. I slaved all night for y'all and he brings up the disaster of 2017. I'm so much better now.” Sarah huffs.

She snatches the Tupperware bowl off of Ashtons lap and twirls around to push it into Luke's hands instead. He takes one out and savors the first bite, Sarah watching his every move for a reaction. She isn't wrong, it's much better than the first time when she forgot to add enough sugar. When he makes a noise of appreciation for the sweet treat, her face lights up and she sticks her tongue out at Ashton with a laugh. Luke swears that he could watch her soft features all evening, but he could settle for a bit of time before the concert. The last concert of the tour. Then he could spend the rest of his days talking to and watching her when she visits.

Sarah points her nose up in a mocking way, “See, Luke agrees that they are good brownies. I'm right. Now if you excuse us, I've got to paint Luke's nails!” .

“Luke's opinion doesn't mean you're right,” Ashton tuts.

"It does too! Accept defeat, Ash.” She calls out while dragging Luke out of the room with her.

Luke almost forgot that he had texted asking her to repaint his nails. Between potentially obsessive thoughts, promo, concerts, and trying to be a real tourist; Luke hadn't found the time to find someone to keep up with his nails. He definitely wants them done for the show, so he doesn't complain about their abrupt departure from the boys. Sarah leads him a few rooms down to one of the unoccupied dressing rooms and points at the lineup of polish bottles on the makeup desk.

"I didn't know what color you wanted this time, so I bought nearly half of my collection with me,” She says.

"You didn't have to bring all this, Sarah. You could've just picked one for me,”

“I wanted to have a choice! I think you should pick something new though. No black or red.”

“You're really going to do that to me?” Luke asks in mock distress.

It makes Sarah let out a giggle and roll her eyes, “I'm so horrible, I know.”

It only takes Luke a moment to narrow down which colors he liked best. He really wanted the sparkly red, but he couldn't ignore her opinion when he valued it so much. She wants something different, so he hands her the pastel  pink polish and gives her a sheepish glance. She doesn't react badly though, she just gives him a wide smile with her pretty lips and motions for him to sit in the chair.

Sarah gets to work with painting his nails, making precise strokes to avoid a mess of polish. He admires the patience and steadiness required to do such a simple task, because the last time he tried it looked like a toddlers handy work. After watching three nails being covered in pink, he turns his attention back to taking in her features. Her brows dip down into a tiny furrow as she concentrates and he notices the new freckles dotted around her forehead and nose. He figures that she must've been in the sun recently, he's always known that the spots darken with exposure to sunlight. He likes how it just adds more depth to her complexion.

Luke also enjoys the glitter. She tends to save the bold look for festivals and he wants to tease her about how their show must be important. He just finds himself fascinated by how it looks on her and how it instantly brightens all of her features. Of course he wouldn't tease her about it when he thinks she looks so effortlessly pretty. Although the thought of him being the reason for her flushed cheeks is tempting enough.

When Sarah sets the closed bottle back onto the desk, Luke notices her makeup sitting neatly in the corner, probably so she can freshen up throughout the night. He wonders if the glitter would have the same effect on him. Plus, he just wants her close to him.

“What's going on in that brain of yours?” Sarah waves a hand in front of his face.

“I was just thinking,”

She purses her lips at him, “No shit, sherlock. Elaborate,”

"You know how you do your makeup? I was thinking about if I'd look good in it and if the fans would like it” Luke tells her honestly.

“The fans would love it, lu. And we'd be matching!” She gushes. He can tell she's already visualizing the look on him.

"Can you do mine too then?”

"I don't think you could afford my services,” She answers, while already reaching for her makeup.

There's more steps to the makeup look than Luke had originally anticipated. She explains each and every step to him and somehow listening to her explain bb cream ends up being the softest thing in the world. She promised that it'd only even out the redness and he does like how natural he looks. After contouring and adding blush, she finally moves onto his eyeshadow and glitter. He catches a glance at himself in the mirror as she pulls back his hair into a half ponytail and he likes how pretty he looks. The glitter looks nice on him and he matches Sarah perfectly.

Sarah pulls out the gloss wand with a ‘pop' sound and smiles at the man, “One last thing.”

"Thank you. I almost look as pretty as you,” He tells her. He likes how her face flushes a darker pink at his compliment.

"Oh, stop that. You could rock it better than me any day,”

Luke studies Sarah's expression for a moment while she puts her makeup away and he's never wanted to kiss someone more. He's spent months away and he's been consumed by his newfound romantic love for her. Now that she's in front of him again, he wants to kiss her and take her out for authentic beef ramen like he had planned. He wants to watch her bake and compliment all of her new recipes. He wants to hold her tight and never leave her again. He's just afraid that she'll never see him as anything other than a friend. He'd accept any love over none at all, but he'll never know the difference until he tries.

"Sarah, can I be honest with you?” Luke questions.

She looks up at him with wide eyes, “Always. What's up?”

"I think I love you,” Luke tells her carefully. “Tour gave me a lot of time to think about how I feel about you.”

"Romantically?” Sarah looks at him in awe and points at herself, “Me?”

"Yes, you.”

“I'm really not sure what to say in this situation,”

"You don't have to say anything,” Luke rubs his sweaty palms against his pants, “We can just pretend this never happened.”

"No, I mean…I think I like you too. It's just that you're my best friend and you were gone. So I don't know how I really feel? It's easy to think one thing without the person around. Now you're here and what if I just missed you?”

"We can always wait to talk about this,” He assures her, “I was just going to ask you to go on a date with me after the show,”

She gives him a lopsided smile, “What kind of date?”

“I figured I'd ask you to a Japanese restaurant, but no weird seafood since you hate that. I thought you'd like some traditional ramen. We had it in Japan and it reminded me of you.”

"The real stuff? Michael talks about how good it is all the time!”

Luke smiles at her reaction, “Would you like to go with me?”

"You know what? Yes! It'll be fun.”

The boys are finishing up last second preparations backstage when Sarah joins them. Michael and Calum are talking with each other and she doesn't see Ashton with them yet, so she takes it as a chance to talk to Luke. He's fidgeting with his in-ear monitors when he notices her walking up to him, a sneaky expression across her features.

"Being a troublemaker?” Luke raises an eyebrow at her.

"You know it! I just took a break to wish you luck,”

"I always need that,” He chuckles.

The stage managers are rushing around and one speeds by calling out that they'll be on in one minute. Luke gives her a frown, sad to leave in the middle of a conversation. Sarah on the other hand just smiles instead and motions for him to lean down. When the tall boy does, she stands on her toes and places a soft kiss against his lips. His blue eyes widened at the unexpected kiss, but softened after the initial shock. She pulls her lip gloss out and touches up his gloss that she had messed up, not wanting to ruin his look. Luke didn't expect Sarah to make the first move, yet he's the one blushing.

“I-” He starts.

Sarah doesn't let him get a word in edgewise and pushes him lightly towards their other three friends, “I think you're going on now,”

"You look pretty. I'll see you after!” She adds again with a smile at the shocked man.

Luke is definitely in love with her, there's not a single doubt in his mind. All he can think about through the concert is the fact that he's never been so excited for noodles in his entire life. Noodles and his favorite girl.  

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin #michael clifford #luke hemmings #calum hood #5sos fanfiction #luke hemmings fanfiction #luke hemmings blurbs #luke hemmings imagine #5sos writing #5sosfam #idk if anyone wants to hear about my OC #but i hold her very close #i have a ton of unposted blurbs about her and Luke #and sarah is based off of my own best friend #she'll never know that #but i wanted a character who strong willed #sassy #creative #soft and wont admit it #i promise it isnt weird #most people create OCs with bits and pieces of people they know irl #it be like that #let me love my character lolll #i hope people read this one #its my best one #luke and sarah

[jimlingss]

OMG KINA so I just finished reading The End and I was going thru a whole rollercoaster of emotions u truly made me feel All The Feels™️ with this fic!!! first of all, lemme just say u succeeded in going out with a banger bec this fic was SO INCREDIBLY AMAZING I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. LIKE EVERYTHING. originally, while reading I was just jotting down points that stuck out to me but eventually it turned into me basically live reacting bec one thing I didn’t expect was for us to spend so much

time with oc and jin after that crazy whirlwind adventure they went on when they ‘properly’ met?! I thought the fic would end when oc meets jin in the present day but I was so glad for it to continue on into what happens next bec it made me love them even more, and I’m so glad for everything that happened afterwards!!!! okay tbh I don’t really know how to make sense of all the notes I wrote down so I’m kinda just going to combine them, or at least the start of them, bec I feel like it’ll still make some sense if I do that bec they’re my thoughts/feelings about the fic/ur writing in general. but towards the end of what I wrote down it is literally just me reacting to things that happen in the fic bec A LOTTA SHIT HAPPENS so I’ll just start listing them bec idk how else to organise them and I already know this is gonna be a long message sbdkncf. before I start, please just know my heart swooned so many times even when jin and oc were talking while travelling thru time (their chemistry was just SO GOOD to me even from that point) and I also teared up/tried not to cry/failed miserably and cried multiple times even tho I didn’t mention that a lot in my notes, I felt that big lump in my throat so many times okay so that’s how u know the angst really got to me .__. The End was so thoughtful and heartfelt and amazing. I am so so so happy with the way the fic ended tho, thank u SOOO MUCH for writing this absolute masterpiece of a fic!!!!! it truly is such a good final story and I’m so thankful to be able to read it and all ur other fics throughout the years. so many of them have a special place in my heart and I think of them from time to time and reread them kinda often too so I’m so glad to be able to know such amazing fics exist :’) okay just this intro is getting long so lemme just get into listing my thoughts/reactions hehe sorry for how long and incoherent this is about to get but I’m not the best with words don’t know how else to share what I felt while reading this fic, but this is all things that I thought of while reading and wrote down bec I wanted to make sure u knew how amazing this fic and ur writing in general is to me (side note: as I’m sending this, the formatting of this ask is weird and there’s a huge space between this paragraph and the first bullet point for some reason and I can’t get rid of it but idk if it’ll actually send thru like that so if it does pls just ignore that. also I just realised there’s no word count anymore I think? rip apologies in advance for how long this is but I thought it might be easier if it’s all in one ask kjsjdnfn) :

• the dog world reference and when spring meets autumn reference :’) I love when u reference ur other fics

• I just love ur writing so much like it’s so easy to follow and get lost in the description and dialogue and works you’ve created. you’ve really outdone yourself with The End and I’m glad u seem to be proud of it too bec u should be!!!

• it’s so cool how u showed so many aspects of relationships and why some are great and some still may not work despite that and still have their own challenges within the various specific circumstances in this one fic and all the factors that go into relationships too (like oc said: family, compatibility, career, stability, etc)

• it’s such a pleasure to be able to see how much ur writing has improved and to just read all ur creative ideas in fics, both in older fics and newer fics, bec so many of them stick with me and have a special place in my heart. it just makes me want to reread them over and over and I definitely have already and I still will be rereading ur fics for a long time lol!!

• even the lil parts where jin and oc were getting friendlier or acting cuter with one another or when jin was secretly judging these candidates for oc even tho he’s trying to help potentially her be with one of them or even when jin seemed to know something that oc didn’t, it was all so heart-fluttering and exciting to read about I just love the subtleties in stories in general (it’s that show don’t tell aspect I think) and it was so well done in this fic imo!!!

• even tho I like ot7 fics I usually don’t gravitate towards stories like this where they’re all potential lover interests but at different points of oc’s life, but u just made it work so well!! I enjoyed myself reading this fic so much and I feel like everything just made sense and made me feel for oc and jin too and for the different situations oc was in and the emotions she felt within them. it was all different but somehow some similar emotion linked them that made her realise that this isn’t the life she wanted to choose for herself

• when oc found out the truth about jin u wrote ‘Your breath hitches. Your heart stops in your chest. It lodges inside your throat.’ and that’s LITERALLY how I felt. ur writing and this fic in particular made me feel SO many things and I absolutely LOVE when a story is able to do that to me. I adore ur writing so so so much!!!

• I had the fattest lump in my throat trying not to cry and I was just thinking how are u able to make me feel this way with ur writing I’m so in awe of how amazing it is?! how can someone write this well and write a story this good?!

• june 23rd the day of the car accident omg that’s ur blog’s anniversary date right? and ur last day on this blog? damn the parallels make me feel even more sad about u leaving and this whole situation with jin and oc :( they only knew each other for 2 years but from the way jin acts around oc and even wants her to choose a new timeline for herself to avoid meeting him and thus avoid the pain of his death? I can tell he really cares for oc and loves her so much :( HOW THE HECK did u manage to make me feel jin and oc’s chemistry so much when I didn’t even know what they were like when they were together?! again, ur writing is truly one of my favourites and I really mean that!!!

• when it said ‘Salt bleeds from your eyes that still hold the memory of his tender gaze but it, too, has already begun to fade.

The six love letters sit untouched on the table as if nothing had happened.

The silence of your apartment is deafening.’ I was scared oc is gonna forget about jin and this whole night she spent with him exploring possible alternate lives but I’m glad she still remembers when she woke up even tho it’s still painful he disappeared and I wonder if jin will remember :( probably not since his ghost was the one who knew everything after obviously dying but I wonder how oc would be with present day jin, knowing exactly when he dies and I wonder if she’d even tell him about anything from that eventful night?

• omfg as soon as I read that the new transfers from the Fresno branch were coming I remembered oc’s colleague talking about that at the start of the fic and THE DOTS WERE CONNECTING IN MY BRAIN I completely forgot about it throughout the course of the fic until then but I gasped and was like :O perhaps jin is one of them?!

• the way u describe jin’s lil •ᴗ• smile makes me emo for some reason I just love it :’)

• “is there something on my face?” “you’re just handsome” I KNOW OC KINDA DIDNT MEAN TO SAY THAT BUT YYYYEEEESSSS I LOVE IT HERE

• “It’s nice to meet you. I hope we can be good deskmates.” oh jin baby if only u knew

• “But I’m actually terrible with directions. Maybe you could join me and lead the way?” that’s not what u said in France!!!! oc knows u lying but it’s a cute excuse!!!

• ‘A love story with a forgotten prequel.’ omg PAIN... I wonder if jin will remember or come to know of their ‘prequel’ later on or when he dies or if he’ll reappear to oc when he dies ;(

• omg all of these snippets into their life together... usually I don’t like when stuff progresses fast but in this case I already love jin and oc together since their whole whirlwind adventure and it just feels right for them, and knowing what happens in just 2 years, I’m kinda glad they form such a deep relationship so quickly :’)

• ‘When you blow out the candle on the cake, you wish for this happiness to last.’ she got her 30th birthday wish and on her 31st birthday she’s not alone :( I hope this wish of her’s somehow comes true too :( I love her and jin, their relationship is just so cute and comforting and sweet and they’re just so right for each other I want this to last forever for them <3

• u know there’s this thing ppl say that’s like do I like men or do I like men written by women? u truly made me think that so much bec this jin was just so sweet and incredible to me I absolutely love him

• “Let’s look in July.” GIRL U KNOW WHATS GONNA HAPPEN IN JUNE is that why she just wants to stay where she’s always stayed rather than find a new place with jin only to be alone there when he’s gone :(

• the way they keep holding hands just reminds me of their prequel adventure when they’d hold hands to travel to different places/times, I love them so much man ;(

• omg oc is trying to avoid june 23rd.. I was thinking maybe she’ll do that and hopefully something will work out in their favour but idk .... I’m stressed I’m basically live reacting at this point bec it’s getting closer and closer to the date.. I’m scared tho is something bad gonna happen if they avoid june 23rd?? will oc possibly die instead??? what in the final destination is gonna happen I’m so ?!?! lemme continue reading..

• NOOOO WHY DID JIN LEAVE THE HOUSE AFTER PROMISING NOT TO I MEAN I GET HES WORRIED ABOUT OC’S HEALTH BUT NOOOOO PLEASE

• ‘I want her to be with someone who can make her happy.’ HES WISHING FOR HIMSELF!!! HES THE ONE WHO MAKES OC HAPPY THE ONLY ONE SHE WANTS TO BE WOTH!!!! omfg I really thought maybe he’ll get a second chance bUT HES WAKING UP TO THE SIGHT OF HER ON THE 30TH BDAY ISNT HE?! BACK IN THE PAST BEFORE THEY MET AND TO THE START OF THE STORY NOOO

• the way whenever jin looks at oc his eyes soften and his gaze tenders.... PAAAIIIINNN I WANT THEM TO BE TOGETHER SO BAD

• wait so he’s in hospital rn.. is this the period when his ghost and past oc are going on their adventure in the meantime.. and oc picks jin at the end right? so hopefully his ghost returns to his body in the hospital and he wakes up and they can be together in the present and future then? man I’m clinging onto every shred of hope I can for them to end up happy together, if that happens I hope they both tell each other they both know about what happened that crazy night with the 6 love letters

• holding his hand while he’s unconscious :( all this hand holding is just so THEM™️ I love it

• ‘Salt bleeds from your eyes that still holds the memories you’ve made together.’ OMG THE SALT BLEEDS FROM YOUR EYES LINE AGAIN BUT SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT miss kina u are a freaking genius I love whenever u do this in ur fics I just love parallels So Much

• ‘Even if it means the present and future pain, you wouldn’t change being with him.’ AND THAT LINE IS FROM EARLIER IN THE FIC TOO ISNT IT?? omfg so jin never actually died I AM SO GLAD MISS OC NEVER CHOSE ANOTHER GUY BEC IMAGINE IF SHE DID SHE WOULDVE JUST NOT KNOWN HER DREAM MAN AKA JIN kina the way the past and present and future all tie in together is just so genius to me like ITS SO PERFECT BEC IM HAPPY JIN IS STILL ALIVE BUT ALL THE EMOTIONS I FELT BEFORE WHILE WAITING FOR JUNE 23RD FELT LIKE A ROLLERCOASTER

• omg wait so did jin and oc never talk about how they knew the future/how jin’s ghost came to her?? wait miss kina I’m genuinely asking, this isn’t rhetorical lol, so they never tell each other and never know that the other basically knew about what would happen in the future? or they do talk about it and I’m just dumb and didn’t get it lol?

• ‘For the pair of you to be together. Until the end.’ omg I would’ve wished for this too if I was oc and ‘the end’ the name of the fic are the last words of it ahhh idk why that makes me feel things :’)

...this is all kind of a mess I’m sorry but thank u SO MUCH for this amazing fic kina!!!! and for all the amazing fics you’ve posted here during ur time on tumblr!!! I’m truly going to miss ur wonderful writing and presence here so much but I wish u all the best for ur future and I hope you’ll come back from time to time to let us know how u are if u want!! just like how u said ur not gonna forget writing/ur time on tumblr, I will never forget ur fics either and will be rereading them in the future too just bec I love them so much <3 in fact, before reading The End I was thinking to myself I want to reread Sugar and Coffee just bec I was lowkey nervous The End would end really angsty (but I love the way it ended) and S&C is one of my faves and it’s been awhile since I last read it so I might go to that lol!! I know anything I say won’t come close to how much I love u and ur writing and how thankful I am to be able to read it but please know I appreciate u so so so much and I really wish u all the happiness and success in the future too!!!! sorry I’m starting to sound redundant and this got so long, I think I said most of what I wanted to say at the start and throughout that list lol, but AHHH I LOVE U AND I LOVE THE END AND I LOVE ALL UR FICS <333

Holy shit, anon. You wrote me a whole bible and i- i loVE IT!! I am so honoured that you thought so much of my story to write and rave this much about it. I am so speechless and honoured and in awe.

first off, I'm glad you thought it was a banger cause I definitely wanted to leave off with one. I'm glad you gave it a chance and that you liked it even if these kinds of ot7 fics aren't up your alley. secondly, thank you for walking me though your thought processes and highlighting certain sections/dialogue. specific feedback like that is actually the most helpful since it points out what in particular was good. It also allows me to experience the story all over again :') thirdly, it's very nice to hear that my writing has improved since I think my writing skills was pretty garbage when I first started hahahaa that being said, it makes me very happy to know that people cherish my stories as much as I do. it's definitely a pleasure to write for readers like you :')

June 23rd is indeed my official anniversary date! there's definitely a lot of parallels - not only in the story itself, but in real life and from other fics (ie the cameos) haha. also nice catch!! I don't think anyone's mentioned the directions thing yet but jin was definitely telling some white lies to get with OC hahhaha I also want to say it makes me soo happy that you ship the two characters together cause that's what all romance writers aim for!! :D

To answer your question btw, OC never told Jin that she knew the future or how Jin's ghost came to her until after the accident and he wakes up. so the moment he wakes up in the hospital (right before the epilogue), he knows she knows. so they're both caught up to speed essentially.

Anyway, thank you so much. This all really means a lot, so thank you for reading <3

#happy to hear you're a fan of Sugar and Coffee too!! #cause that series is my shit hahaha #Jimlings

[caranfindel]

Recap/review 14.06: “Optimism”

THEN: Starts out pretty ominous, with clock-ticky music, Jack's grace getting sucked out, "this is the end of everything," and Jack considering himself useless. We're reminded that New Charlie exists (aw, Dean looked so pretty in AU Land) and Jack has "the mind of a hunter." Michael hurting people and Dean feels guilty (aw, Sam's Beard of Despair, how I miss you). Sounds like we're in for a real downer of an episode, friends.

NOW: Nebraska. Happy music. A cheerful librarian opens up shop, and she's cute as can be but I wore that blouse in the 80s and it needs to stay there (JUST SAY NO TO THE RUFFLED YOKE, LADIES). Her name is Harper, and she has a kind-of-date with a guy named Winston tonight, though she is clearly Not Into You, Winston. An (apparent) coworker named Miles hears her "scream" and comes to her aid, brandishing a stapler, and is reminded that he needs to mind his own business. Winston leaves, clearly walking on air, and then STAYIN' ALIVE STARTS PLAYING and we focus on Winston's feet just like the iconic opening scene of Saturday Night Fever (if you're too young to remember, watch this, IT'S IMPORTANT CULTURAL KNOWLEDGE and there WILL BE A QUIZ LATER) and y'all don't even know how much I love this song. YOU DON'T KNOW. I can't help it. My mom was a huge Bee Gees fan, partially because she was very into Barry Gibb.

Coincidence?

What can I say? I am my mother's child.

Now, where were we?

(Pretty much where we always are, so could you please just move this along?)

Sorry for the digression. Anyway. Now I suspect this isn't going to be a downer episode after all. (Turns out it was directed by Richard Speight, which would have been a clue if I'd known that earlier, bless him.) While I've been digressing, Winston has happily bopped down the street, only to have a hand cover his mouth and drag him off-screen. There's a record scratch and a squirt of dark goo and a scream, so I guess it did turn out to be a downer for Winston, but not for me.

Title card!

{Sidebar: I didn't realize Saturday Night Fever was directed by John Badham, who went on to direct several episodes of Supernatural.}

Jack's drinking coffee in the bunker. He takes a sip and then pours a huge amount of sugar into it, which immediately makes me think of this scene from The Fly when Jeff Goldblum, who does not yet realize that he is turning into a fly, does the same thing.

(Spoiler alert: Ahem.)

Dean walks in and asks what he's doing, and Jack explains that everything tastes different without his powers, and he can't get the coffee to taste the way he likes it. That's because coffee is nasty, Jack. (And also, thanks to the Continuity Fairy for remembering that food tasted different to Cas when he didn't have grace.) Dean asks if Jack has seen Sam, because that's what Dean does; he probably walked in the door and felt a disturbance in the Force and realized he didn't know where Sam was. From Jack, we learn that (1) Dean went on an overnight run to Mobby's love shack cabin and (b) Sam went on a hunt with Charlie without telling Dean. Is Dean okay with this? Are we gonna okay with this? Couldn't he have at least sent a text message? He's supposed to be setting an example!

"Explain to me again how you just let Sam LEAVE."

I guess Sam had to go himself, rather than send someone else, because this is one of those times when there's no random hunters in the bunker. (And where's Rowena? Did Charlie abandon her in the Southwest? Did they have a fight?) Jack imagines Sam and Charlie are doing something "really exciting."

Cut to Sam and Charlie sitting quietly in a truck outside Memphis, bored out of their minds. Hee! It's the kind of crappy old truck I always want Sam to drive, so I love it. They're staring at a bus stop with an ad for Pete the Pestinator, who seems to be an insect exterminator. (Spoiler alert: ahem again.) Sam confirms that "this is where all those people went missing," although if he's been sitting in that truck long enough to be bored, he really should have nailed that down by now. Charlie says "yep." More silent sitting.

Back to the bunker. Dean seems surprised that Sam left Jack there alone (where's Cas?) and Jack says "Sam wanted someone around when you came back. He's worried about you."

"Yeah, that sounds like him," Dean grumbles, and hello, kettle, the pot just called, and said you're black. Jack offers some encouragement, telling him no one blames him for Michael, and Dean says "Cool. Well, I blame me, so." His self-flagellation is interrupted by Jack's Cough of Great Concern. "Maybe I'm allergic to sitting around doing nothing," Jack snarks.

Dean sits down for a heart-to-heart, and Jack says he's been hunting with Cas and wants to do more. Dean says "No offense, Cas is an insurance policy on those hunts." Jack looks hurt. I don't understand this at all. Why wouldn't Jack already know that Cas is there to protect him? And why would this hurt his feelings? I'm so confused. But I immediately forget it, because Dean says "Sam's just trying to keep you safe, okay? He's a smart guy." AND THEN WE CUT TO THIS.

Bless you, Richard Speight, writer Steve Yockey, bless you both.

I literally did burst out laughing at Sam and his fidget spinner. Charlie is not amused, and Sam puts his toy away with some embarrassment.

Bunker. Jack's found a report on our dead friend Winston, who seemed to have human bitemarks taken out of his corpse. And others have gone missing in the area. We skip part of a conversation, but whatever it was, Dean says Sam won't like it. "Sam's not here," says Jack. Oh, no you don't, Jack. Don't you go ignoring the Chief's directives just because he's not here. Dean says he'll go check it out alone, but Jack suddenly remembers Sam's Law and reminds Dean about the Buddy System.

We can be hunting buddies!

Okay, uh, (a), don't call it that, and (b), YOU'RE gonna back ME up?

Oh, Dean. You didn't do the (1) and (b) thing that I love so much. Jack gets to be the one to bare a little bit of his soul now, telling Dean that he also feels guilty about Michael, because he could have killed him but he was "distracted and stupid." He doesn't want to sit around feeling guilty all day, he wants to hunt.

Looks like that was the right button to push, because we cut to Sam on the phone, clearly not a fan of the plan and telling Dean to be careful. I assume his reluctance is because he doesn't trust Jack to watch Dean's back. But Sam, if you can trust Maggie to hunt alone, you can trust Dean with a novice backup. (I know, I know, Dean is more important than Maggie.)

Sam asks again if Charlie is sure this is the right place, and she says it's where four people disappeared. And while she was scouting around, she found a mason jar full of goo. Is this the same goo we saw when Winston was killed? (Spoiler alert: no.) And now she's trying to figure out what they're hunting, so she's reading. I'd have done my reading before the stakeout, but that's just me. (I'd also have done some reading instead of sitting there glaring at Sam while he enjoyed his fidget spinner, but that's also just me.)

(I also might have thought of more interesting things to do while I was stuck in a car with Sam, but they would have interfered with the stakeout. And they aren't anything Charlie would have been interested in anyway.)

Cut to Dick's Red Rooster Diner (ha ha, I see you, Speight). According to Winston's obituary, he had breakfast here every morning. Jack agrees with me that it's an odd thing to put in an obituary, but Dean says that when someone dies young, you don't know what to put in those things. (Oh, think of 20-something Dean's obituary.) He introduces them to the waitress as Agents Berry and Charles, and the only thing I can think of is Chuck Berry, so if someone has a better idea, let me know. He asks for details about Winston, and the only detail she can provide is that he's dead. Jack dutifully writes that detail in his little notebook. (BLESS.)

This waitress is wonderfully snippy, knows her rights, and isn't the least bit interested in talking to these FBI agents, but when Dean hands her some cash she changes her mind. She says they should should be more interested in Harper, who Winston just started "courting," and Jack is confused.

What's courting?

It's what you do before you start dating.

Ah, and that's the thing you do before the sex.

Sometimes you just have the sex.

Okay, Dean's wrong, courting is what you do instead of dating, but this is still a wonderful exchange. And the next part is wonderful too, cutting between the waitress and some customers explaining that Harper was popular in high school, but her boyfriend ran off, and now all these men connected to her have died, and she's really into romance books, and ending on I've heard too much Dean and I'm confused Jack.

Love this.

Back at the stakeout, Sam's biting his nails, which I also love for some reason, and of course the only time we've ever seen him bite his nails was when he was worried about Dean. New Charlie picks right up on it. She tells him Dean will be fine, and comments that he's got other friends, right? Which I don't understand, because it doesn't matter what other friends he has, he's not hunting with them. He's hunting with Jack. "He used to have a pretty damn good wingman," Sam says, and I think no, Sam, what are you saying, he still has you. She says he should call "that guy" to check on him, and Sam says "that guy was you." Charlie gives him a look. "No, it wasn't." And she's right, Sam. SHE IS NOT YOUR CHARLIE. And also, was Charlie ever really Dean's wingman? I don't think so. Sam, of course. Cas, literal wingman. But not Charlie. Charlie was the little sister.

Sam apologizes, and then says "I'm just saying, I'm not surprised you survived the apocalypse." Which isn't what you were saying at all, Sam. Charlie is surprised she survived, because she was just a programmer at Richard Roman Enterprises (Dick Roman! I wonder what happened to your AU version), living with the love of her life, Cara. My heart skipped a beat because I was so ready, guys, for the love of Charlie's life to be Dr. Cara Roberts from Sex and Violence, but apparently not. {Sidebar fic prompt: Sam. Charlie. Dr. Cara. Three-way.) Charlie's Cara was a baker. Charlie tells a sad story about waiting for help that never came, and Cara eventually being killed by people, not angels. Society falls apart. (Or, as Dean once said, demons I get; people are crazy.) Sam insists society isn't falling apart here, and Charlie says "not yet."

Just like last week, we're getting some needed differentiation between the characters we lost and their AU counterparts, which I appreciate.

I also appreciate pretty, attentive, sympathetic Sam.

Diner. Dean calls Jack "Mighty Mouse," for some reason, and congratulations him on finding a case. He tries to teach him about the importance of pie, but Jack's more interested in courting. He's never been exposed to off-screen romance, unless Gabriel and Rowena counts (Dean assures him it doesn't, but how would Jack have been exposed to Gabriel/Rowena anyway, since it happened while he was in AU Land and Gabriel didn't make it back?) Dean promises he'll give him The Talk when they get back, but right now they need to concentrate on finding Harper. {Sidebar fic prompt: Dean's and Sam's versions of The Talk. Would Dean's be like Dean's speech from Rock and a Hard Place?} Jack speculates she might not be human, and Dean says they're going to find out, and it's going to work like a romance novel. Hmm!

Cut to the library, where Harper is working. Dean enters and identifies himself as FBI, with questions about Winston. She doesn't want to talk, and he pushes. Then Jack shows up, asking for a book about the area's history, and defends her against the big mean FBI guy. Dean says "why don't you back off, kid" and Jack responds "No, you back off, old man" and DEAN'S FACE. This was clearly NOT IN THE SCRIPT. I love it. Dean slinks off, dejected, to examine his gracefully-aging face in the rear-view mirror. {Sidebar: I honestly think Jensen is aging a lot better than Dean is. Dean looks tired a lot of the time, and I'd like to believe Show is doing that on purpose, but I don't think it's the case. Jensen always looks awesome.} Harper is delighted, and apparently smitten, judging by the music. Jack introduces himself as "Jack Smith" and she invites him to her apartment, where she has the perfect book.

Why does this library have those convenience store perp measurements at the door? Does it get robbed a lot? Also, how many episodes have signs in the background with the title of a different episode? Not very many, I'm guessing.

As they leave, Miles the Stapler Guy follows and asks where she's going. It must be close to closing time, because Harper says she'll come back and lock up. Miles, who's carrying a bag of trash, refuses to shake Jack's hand. As Jack and Harper go one way, he stomps off in the other direction. I'm suspicious, and so is Dean, who gets out of the car to follow him. As Miles puts the library's trash in an inappropriately small residential bin, he hears a noise. We then cut to Dean, who hears Miles scream but just keeps walking? But then a trash can is knocked over and that gets his attention. He finds Miles dead, and we get a monster POV shot watching him.

Stakeout. Charlie's still reading. Apparently she brought all the books. She says she hates hunting, which surprises Sam, because she's so good at it. She points out that she's good at it because the alternative was death. "I mean, no offense, but who wants to be a hunter? This job, just a lot of tears and death."

Sam says "you said something like that to me once, long ago, about hunting." He quickly apologizes for once again conflating her with Our Charlie. At first I was annoyed at him, but then I started thinking about how awful Our Charlie's death was for him, with the MoC, and the fear, and the worry, and the guilt, and his brother saying he should be the one on the funeral pyre instead, and you know what? I'm gonna cut him some slack for trying to forget all of that ever happened. A lot of slack, in fact.

Charlie casually drops that she's glad this is her last hunt. Did you give the Chief your two week's notice, Charlie? I DON'T THINK SO. She plans to get away from monsters and people, and "live on a mountaintop or something... as long as there's good wifi." I'm sure Sam can get you set up with his magical wifi, Charlie, if you stay on his good side.

Harper's apartment. She seems to be all about love, with a decorative "amore" sign in the kitchen and a big red heart hanging on the wall. She suddenly realizes it's weird that she brought him to her apartment, though she's thinking "putting the moves on you" weird and I'm thinking "inviting a potential serial killer into your home" weird. But maybe I listen to too much My Favorite Murder.

She leaves the room to get the book (odd that it's not on the stuffed bookshelves in her living room, but they're all full of romance novels). Jack asks why the FBI was "hassling" her, and she tells him about Winston's death as he surreptitiously puts a silver coin on the floor and splashes holy water all over his hands. A call comes from Dean, but he ignores it. When she comes back with the book, she notices the coin on the floor and picks it up. She touches his hand when she gives him the coin and notices that it's wet. I would have put the holy water on the coin, although a wet coin on the floor might be as weird as wet hands. He just laughs weirdly and then does a fake cough AND SAYS CHRISTO. SOMEONE FINALLY REMEMBERED CHRISTO. Oh, my heart. I've been waiting 13 years for this moment. She doesn't react to it, so she seems pretty human. He says he's nervous, so she sits on the couch and pats the seat next to her.

Stakeout. Charlie has found something in the books called a Musca. Sam already knows it's a man-fly hybrid (IT'S THE FLY; OUR MONSTER IS JEFF GOLDBLUM) and that no one's seen them, so if they do exist, they keep to themselves. She's impressed with his Sammy smarts. He says he's read all the books, but if he'd read this one, he'd know that every few hundred years a male Musca can't find a mate and he "abandons his community and starts using people's bodies to nest, binding them together with a viscous goo." Ew.

As they walk, in the background we see a figure approaching the two women who are sitting on the bus stop bench. It's clothed in black, carrying a black briefcase, and it has a giant head. At first I think it's literally a giant fly's head. But when Charlie notices it, we get a closer look, and it's a large black hood, like a beekeeper's outfit. It sits down and then casually scoots closer to the women, who scoot away, and it's hilarious.

Harper's apartment. She asks Jack where he's from, and he tells her he lives in Lebanon, Kansas. NO, JACK. DON'T TELL ANYONE WHERE YOU LIVE. Jack coughs some more and then notices a picture of Harper with her boyfriend, Vance. She says he left town after high school because he wanted to see the world, and Jack seems astonished that anyone would leave her. And that was when her bad luck started, but she tries to stay optimistic. "Me too," Jack says. "I had some not-so-great stuff happen in my past. Trying to be positive... it can be hard." Oh, Jack, sweetie. They gaze into each other's eyes and it looks like they're going to kiss. Jack's phone buzzes with a text from Dean that says CALL ME NOW.

Jack? Do you believe in love at first sight?

Do you... (music swells)... mind if I use the bathroom?

Ha!

Jack hides in the bathroom to call Dean. He tells him Harper isn't a monster, and he thinks she's in love with him. Although Dean's sure that's not the case, Jack says "but if she is, I need to know everything about sex. Go." Ha again! Dean tells him about Miles's death, which makes Jack wonder if she's cursed. Dean says it's more like all the guys around her are cursed. "Like me," Jack ponders, just before we get another monster POV shot and a strangled shout from Dean. The phone goes dead.

Jack comes back into the living room and Harper asks if he's okay and if he wants to go for coffee. Then the door bursts open and Dean comes in, and I wonder why she's freaking out until I remember that Dean is Bad FBI Guy to her. He quickly blocks the door and tell her they're here to save her from... whatever it is that's suddenly growling and banging on her door. "At first I thought it was a ghost," he says, "but then it punched me in the face." She's freaked out about a ghost, but Jack reassuringly (NOT!) tells her that he's saying it's NOT a ghost. Dean recognizes a photo and it turns out the monster is her old boyfriend Vance, who she didn't even realize was dead.

For some reason Dean isn't carrying a lot of weapons, but he has a silver knife and finds a silver letter opener on Harper's desk. Silver will slow it down, he tells them, but there's only one way to kill the undead boyfriend. Vance breaks the door down before we learn what that is. Dean starts fighting with the silver knife and tells Jack to get Harper out of there.

Stakeout. It's nighttime now. A lone man sits at the bus stop as Sam tries to convince Charlie that she can't drop out of society. She needs people, and also, it's hard to walk away from being a hunter. "I tried. Our Charlie tried." You know, for someone who did want out of hunting, and did try to get out of it, Sam spends a lot of time convincing others to do it, or at least enabling them. I mean, Dean was all "Patience, if you can live a normal life, do it," and Sam was all "well, Claire, if you're gonna hunt, I guess I should show you how to hack." Although that (and teaching Ghoul!Adam to shoot) was more about protecting someone determined/forced to be a hunter than recruiting. So maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. Anyway, if anyone recognized the futility of getting out of the life, it would be him.

Jeff Goldblum shows up again and sits by his next victim. Charlie wants to go for the kill, but Sam thinks they should wait for him to make his move, in case he's just into weird fashion. Look, Sam, if a guy likes wearing a black beekeeper's bonnet and sidling up to random strangers at bus stops, he deserves to be hunted, whether or not he's actually part bee. When the bus shows up, it blocks their view of the duo. When it leaves, the bench is empty. Which could mean they just got on the bus, but we see something disappearing behind the stop. Sam decides it's a go after all.

Let's stick with this story, rather than cutting back and forth between them like the show did.

Sam and Charlie find a door with a bunch of goo on the handle. Sam says Charlie found something in the books that theorized a brass nail dripped in sugar water would kill a musca. Because yes, of course sugar water, WHICH FLIES EAT, would kill a fly man. (Rolls my eyes at this otherwise delightful episode.) Charlie reminds him they have neither of those things. "So we get creative," Sam says. I'm expecting some kind of MacGuyvering involving a can of Coke, or Sam's sugary coffee. (Spoiler alert: I'm wrong.)

{Sidebar: Why are all the methods of killing monsters so weirdly specific? Chopping off the head should kill ANYTHING.}

They go through the door, which surprisingly leads them into an abandoned warehouse. It's full of flies (normal ones, not half-man flies) and smells like pine cleaner and rotting meat. Yum. Eventually Sam finds the briefcase, which is full of what looks like candy wrappers and also has a white cloth, which he sniffs to discover chloroform. Dude. Don't sniff the chloroform rag. Charlie finds the most recent victim, still alive, by a pile of bodies. Something grabs Charlie's hand. She pulls loose, but falls off a low platform (seriously, it's like two feet high) and... loses consciousness? Okay. Maybe he chloroformed her and I missed it. I'm old and decrepit and this would have barely bruised me. He must have chloroformed her.

Sam tries to wake her up, but is interrupted by the WORST MONSTER COSTUME EVER. Oh god, you guys, this fly man head is so bad. SO BAD.

{Sidebar: Did you know that you don't see much of the shark in Jaws because the model was so bad, Steven Spielberg decided he wanted to shoot it as little as possible? And it actually made the movie better because the unseen monster was so much scarier? Just saying, Speight.}

(Um, have you watched any movies that were made before 1980?)

Well, that was uncalled for.

Jeff Goldblum attacks Sam and gets goo on him, and if this were really a fly, wouldn't that goo be digesting him? Isn't that how flies eat? (Why yes, it is.) Charlie regains consciousness and stabs it with something, which gets it off Sam long enough for him to shoot it in the head. Creativity in action! So, I guess I got my wish. Interesting that, just like last week, the guys figured out that there are actions that will kill anything.

Aftermath! Charlie and Sam are driving, and Sam says he feels bad for the Musca, which could have been happy if it had stayed home with its people. Subtle, Sam. Charlie's all, yeah, okay, I'm like the bug, except not so much. As we see the Musca family coming to retrieve their brother's body, Sam asks Charlie not to leave. "If we help people, then maybe they'll help people, and all that, and that's worth it. Even with all the tears and death, it's worth it." Oh, Sammy. {sniff} She says she'll think about it.

Back to Jack and Harper. It was broad daylight when they got to her apartment, so I don't know why it's nighttime now. How long did he spend in the bathroom? No wonder she asked if he was okay. Cut to Dean gleefully fighting the zombie, who suddenly stops fighting and runs off.

Jack and Harper run to the library, where she struggles with the keys until Jack remembers she left without locking the door. They scurry inside and he locks it. As they hide behind the counter, they see Zombie Vance run by. Jack tells her not to worry, because he locked the door, and she asks if he flipped the switch under the lock? Obviously he didn't, and she goes to do it herself. As she stands, looking out the door, Vance shows up. She unlocks the door, which Jack obviously DID lock, and opens it. He hands her the history book - I guess Jack dropped it - and they kiss.

Um. whoops. Vance is actually still Harper's boyfriend. And he has to eat human flesh. Like, Jack's, for example. Vance lunges for Jack, who hides in the stacks as Harper gives him the villain dialogue over the library's PA system. She likes Jack, but he's obviously a hunter, and she comes from a long line of necromancers, so it would never work out between them. She killed Vance to keep him from leaving after high school, and killing every other guy in her sights is just a fun little romantic roleplay for them. We get a little scare when a hand appears on Jack's shoulder (been a lot of that going around lately), but it's Dean. He tells Jack they have to get Vance back into his grave and then drive a stake into his heart to keep him there. And they're going to convince him using another romance novel method.

Jack tells her he wants to do things Vance can't do - walk her down the aisle, raise a family. This draws Vance out, who lunges at him but finds himself facing Dean. Vance gets Dean against a wall, and Harper calls out to him. Dean thinks she's going to call him off, but she says "Baby, kill him!" and Dean's "huh" look is precious to me. Instead, Dean slaps a handcuff on his arm and cuffs him to a pole or something. Jack cuffs his other arm to a library cart, I think, which is mobile and therefore defeats the purpose of cuffing, but good try, Jack. The cuffs burn Vance, so they're silver or enchanted or something. Seems like a successful hunt, but when the guys look up, the door is open and Harper is gone.

Later we see Harper and her suitcase at a cafe, writing a letter to Jack. So she had time to go home and pack a suitcase, and Dean and Jack didn't go to her apartment and look for her? Guys. Come on. She's sorry she's going to have to kill Jack, but it means she can bring him back to life and they'll be together forever. See you soon, she writes, sealing the envelope addressed to Jack Smith, c/o the Lebanon, Kansas post office. I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET HER KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, JACK. Is Harper going to be a Big Bad this season? Or maybe a Little Bad? I wouldn't mind seeing her again. She's a charming little villain.

Finally, Jack's drinking coffee again, probably with a lot of sugar, in the bunker. This scene, with them facing each other, is a nice callback to the beginning of the episode. Dean tells Jack he did good, and Jack pushes for more hunts, because he was right. It's not about being right, Dean tells him, it's about what you do after you're wrong, after you've made a mistake. And about not beating yourself up, Jack points out. Dean tells him he's pretty smart, and Jack smiles and coughs and Dean promises to talk about getting him on more hunts when Sam gets back (BECAUSE SAM IS THE ONE TO ASK, YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT) and Jack lies about being fine and then coughs some more and shows Dean his bloody palm and collapses on the floor with blood oozing from his mouth and nose and WELL. THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY.

And the episode ends, without Sam and Dean sharing a single scene. Has that happened before? It's unsettling. I like the ep, though. I liked the relationship focus - Sam bonding with New Charlie, Dean bonding with Jack. I liked the humor. I liked that Sam wasn't ignored, even though the brothers had separate storylines. I liked the continuation of things that have been happening this season, the gentle reminder (but not constant siren) of Dean's guilty feelings and Sam's leadership and Jack's issues. And, of course, CHRISTO!

And there was one weird thing I noticed on first watch, but it didn't jump out at me on rewatch so I don't remember when it happened... Dean said "Son of a B." This is the second episode where they said something weird instead of bitch. What's going on there? Is Dean never going to say "son of a bitch" again? Because that's not good.

What did you guys think? And please help me stay unspoiled; thanks!

#spn #14.06 #tv recaps #recap #spoilers