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#growing up queer
transmasc culture is growing up and stealing inheriting your older brother’s clothes. they weren’t nice or anything and were covered in stains but they seemed to fit you better than your old clothes did. it awoke something in you, something you maybe didn’t know yet. but it was something you know now.
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burning-ink1 · 8 months
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There‘s something so beautiful about growing up queer in the closet, with such a lack of media representation and people actually consuming queer media, and then being a young adult and seeing people of all sexualities and genders love shows and movies such as Heartstopper, Killing Eve, Red White Royal Blue, etc.
Like, we still have a long way to go, but no matter how many homophobic laws get passed all around the world, we are here and we are queer, and I love it.🫂
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I was trying to think of a metaphor about being queer/lgbtq
I've talked to a lot of cishet people about being part of the lgbtq community and lots of them just Don't get it you know? (thats not to say all of them don't though!) So I was trying to think of some kind of mataphor for growing up being queer, especially in a community that is rather conservative and straight. This is only based on my personal experience and the experiences of other I know irl so it might not fit for everyone but I think it makes some sense.
Your whole life you have lived in a house. Inside that house there is fabric covering the walls. One day the fabric falls off, or you decide to take it off and underneath the walls are wooden.
At first you're excited but more time passes and you go to other peoples houses you notice they don't have wooden walls. Their houses all have plaster walls. Eventually you start to worry if they will think you weird for it, if there is something wrong with it. So you try and hide it when they come over.
Then one day the housing inspector comes. You show him the wooden walls and he tells you yes, there is something wrong. Houses aren't supposed to have wooden walls they're only supposed to be plaster. That you need to put the sheets back up, or better yet remove the walls and replace them entirely. But you cannot change the walls, they are a part of the house, essential to the foundation. Changing the walls would be to destroy the house entirely. So you cover the walls up with posters. You pin the sheets back over, hide them in a mess of colours and distractions. They do not want to be hidden though, it becomes a battle to hide them away from prying eyes.
But then one day you meet someone. And their house has wooden walls too. And someone else with stone walls. And all different kinds of people with different houses. You begin to realise that maybe it's ok for your house to be slightly different. It's still a house after all and a rather beautiful one at that.
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siphisket · 2 years
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Felt emo might delete later
(Just kidding~ …although I might take out some of the text lol this thing is way wordier than I thought geez — that’s what I get for pumping it out in one sitting and refusing to edit)
Image ID below the cut
[Image ID: Image 1 depicts a blue figure with short hair casting their gaze down to the side and gripping their right arm with their left hand. The text reads, “Only finally finding the safety to ‘be a teenager’ after turning 20 is such a lonely experience…”
Image 2 depicts the blue figure turning to look over their shoulder at a smaller blue figure with long hair, the same figure at a younger age, who is curled into a ball. The text reads, “I wish I knew then what I know now.”
Image 3 depicts this younger, long-haired blue figure sitting in a desk surrounded by friends in a high school classroom. The text reads, “I wish I’d gotten to meet my friends back then.”
Image 4 depicts younger Blue now with shorter hair and ripped jeans. They’re wearing a nondescript band tee with a long-sleeve fishnet shirt underneath, and they have a black ring on the middle finger of each black-nailed hand. One friend wraps an arm around younger Blue’s shoulder while another ruffles their hair, and for the first time in the comic, the blue figure looks unabashedly happy, even if a bit sheepish. The text reads, “I wish they’d been there to give me the strength to fight for myself. To cut and dye my hair, to rip my jeans and give each other stupid matching tattoos.”
Image 5 depicts younger Blue in the back of a car with their friends, laughing and going recklessly fast. The text reads, “We could have stolen our parents’ cars and gone for screeching joyrides at 1 in the morning, flooring the gas and just getting as far away as possible because none of us can stand the idea of going ‘home.’”
Image 6 starts out with a wall of text that ruins the flow of the comic because the artist is paranoid about their words being misinterpreted but also too paranoid about posting even the slightest amount of personal information on the internet to keep that from happening so hooray for me being stupid anyway long story short I am not endorsing any of this behavior please drive safely. The text reads, “It’s not even that I like the idea of stealing a car or speeding or anything, I just wish I’d gotten to be a kid, to have had the opportunity to make ‘bad choices’ if I wanted to, for choices to have been something I was allowed to make.”
The lower half of Image 6 depicts younger Blue laughing in the back seat as two of their friends have an animated conversation on either side of them. The text reads, “It’s pathetic.”
Image 7 depicts the blue figure in the present now, back to “reality” where they’re driving an empty car, an uneasy look on their face. The text continues where the previous image left off, reading, “and I think about it every day I have to drive back from work.”
Image 8 zooms out from the previous image, where Blue uneasily grips the steering wheel of their car, looking up at the sign for the street they’re about to turn on to. The sign reads, “Family’s House St” because the author is so subtle. The text reads, “I just wish they weren’t so far away, that they’d take me with them.”
Image 9 depicts Blue driving towards a crudely-drawn house, and long-haired younger Blue sits in the passenger’s seat with shoulders anxiously raised. The text reads, “But even now I remain obedient. I’m still just so scared.” End ID]
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yourlocalgaymafia · 8 months
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Growing up as a young agender child I developed my own definition of what gender was, because I didn’t understand what it was that made some people boys and some people girls.
And looking back on it, my logic was incredibly funny because I thought that the secret to gender was hidden in the length of someone’s hair (cause obviously boys had short hair and girls had long hair, duh)
But every once in a while I would meet girls with short hair and boys with long hair, and my little five year old self would have a weird moment of shock and admiration for the people who successfully managed to defeat gender.
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youtube
This is "Yet, Love" by Delphyne (cw: bullying, homophobia, queerphobia, alcohol mention, suicidal thoughts mention)
[ Video Description: Several people in a school classroom, performing the song live. ]
It's a song about growing up queer, and it really speaks to me. It's a submission for Tiny Desk, so please consider listening, sharing, and giving it a thumbs up and commenting if it speaks to you. <3 (Lyrics are in the video description.)
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catholickedd · 8 months
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honestly growing up queer was such an experience.
even though i’m still a minor it’s just crazy how i’ve been through so much regarding my identity.
i realized in fourth grade when i dressed up as a princess with my best friend and we slow danced on her balcony.
i told my parents and they replied i was too young to know, and they checked up on me every month to see if i was “still gay.”
i lied, to them and to myself. my friend (different friend) came out as genderfluid. i started dating them.
i told myself it wasn’t gay because they were a boy some of the time.
i listened to queen almost exclusively. i researched freddie mercury’s story. i tried to pretend the fact that he was Like Me didn’t make me like the music more.
i called myself “heteroflexible.” “androsexual.” “bi, with a preference for men.”
i wore flannels and cuffed jeans and doc martens.
five separate people, on five separate occasions, assumed i was a lesbian before even talking to me.
i read game of thrones. i was hopelessly attracted to daenerys.
i went to summer camp. i developed a massive crush on a cabinmate.
i was forced to accept that i was attracted to girls,
but before i could say “lesbian” i fell head over heels heart eyes in love with a cis straight (questioning) boy.
said boy is now my best friend and i trust him more than anyone else in the world.
still in love with him.
so, i say, i guess that makes me bisexual.
but i still feel incredible guilt for being a (sort of) cis bisexual.
like i’m not committing enough to the community.
like i don’t deserve to call myself queer or sapphic.
anyways fuck homophobia and feel free to share your growing up queer stories in the notes.
love y’all. you’re so valid. all of you. you are more than queer enough.
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ardently-queer · 1 year
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Maybe I'm kinda arrogant, but I can't help thinking a lot about how I've always wanted to do a lot of things that are traditionally boys' things, and now that I've grown up, mens' things, and it's reoccurring to me now that I've picked up heavy combat (a division of HEMA) and I'm really enjoying it. And some girls and now women looked at what I was doing and see it as breaking the gender barriers and they like it for that reason. And I don't think that's a wrong thing to want to do. I just end up feeling guilty because that's not why *I'm* doing it. I'm not qualified to break barriers for women into mens' spaces because I'm not a woman, all I really want is to be another one of the guys. It's not that I don't think that barrier breaking needs to happen, or that I'm not engaging in a certain amount of it because most of the cis men I'm facing also see me as a woman, I mean I'll do it because it benefits everyone and because I'm a feminist but... I'm not your boundary-breaking female role model, it's more intersectional than that. I'm a man. It hurt before I knew I was a man or even before I knew I was trans because in every other aspect - physical, social, mental - I have been treated as not woman enough and the contrast to this is jarring. It hurts more now that I know who I am, as well as why I was never woman enough. Please don't pin your hopes on me. It always circles back to this weird disappointment and dichotomy and I'm tired.
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xan-the-emo-trans-man · 8 months
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I’m sorry but if you’re a straight person in an all gay friendgroup there’s like a 90% chance you’re gonna come out sooner or later
I don’t make the rules, I just follow them
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ormspryde · 2 months
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Strength of my Soul
Raven/Yeager soulmate AU I've been on about for the past couple days.
This one follows them from being children all the way to the Great War.
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mxmeiyun · 1 year
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We got to Beatrice's coming out scene, and afterwards my mum says very slowly, "Wait... she hates herself because she's gay?" Internalized homophobia is not really something I want to discuss with my parents, so I said, "Very simply put, yes."
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y'know it's not like I wanted to grow into a bitter adult over topics like church but, growing up queer, and autistic, and not knowing either, wasn't a shield from trauma and abuse and seeing people act like the churches i went to as a kid/adult are better now actually isn't even the work of a single band aid on a hangnail on my pinky.
I was abused by these people (no but like physically at one of them!) and no one wants to simply admit that some christians are in fact evil. it's the lack of accountability, it's the denial, it's the lies they assume will be forgiven, it's the way they'll scroll on by posts by survivors forever
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sagewhite · 10 months
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I remember hating my body. I remember struggling with how I looked and how it made me feel. I remember being misgendered because it was funny. I remember hating my hips, my too large breasts, my shoulders, arms, stomach. I was too ugly to be a proper "women". I was too much of a preferred fetish to be a "girl". I was indecent, rough, and a bundle of soft tissue. I shaved off my eyebrows and drew them on. I shoplifted makeup and haircare products. I dressed "slutty", "hood", "childsh". I cut my hair often. I loved when my bangs sat just right and my fringe was feathery. I loved the feeling I got when the little spikes I cut stuck out after being flat ironed. I loved how "boys clothes" fit me. I loved mixing it with "girls clothes". Even when my body was a stranger in my mirror, I found ways to love myself in little moments.
That doesn't compare to right now. I love my brown skin. I love my wide nose and square forehead. I have a round face and I have muscles. I can pull off looks that confuse people. I feel comfortable being me. I have fun being me. Even when my hips give me the occasional ick. I still have a deep love for it. My body is as fluid as I am. It has been many things and changed to handle all that it has been through. It's me. It's mine. And so many people have tried to take that away from me.
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bowtiepastabitch · 6 months
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Sometimes growing up isn't about growing out of things but growing into them. Publishing fanfiction without shame. Sharing your art. Loving unabashedly in the way you did not feel free to as a child.
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qvery2 · 2 years
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InFallible 63 - Bloodsuckers
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m4rs-ex3 · 1 year
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you've heard it a million times: "i wish i could've had this kind of representation when i was younger." i did have that. i saw queer couples on screen growing up. even still, if i had saw my favorite protag announcing to her mother that she was different, her mother being excited, and her wearing her flag, things would've been different. every step matters.
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