#growing up is inevitable but it doesn't mean you should stop doing what makes you happy

[hopeswriting]

was thinking about takeshi and how he's my favorite brand of unconditional devotion btw. the utter and absolute and all-consuming kind that runs so deep to the very core and is so intrinsic and fundamental to it, it can only express itself in the most casual and natural and certain way. without second thoughts, without any room for doubts or for any moral dilemma to be had over it, because of course he ought to always be breathing and living for his chosen person first and foremost. of course he ought to hang on their every word and make them true no matter what, no matter what he has to do to make it happen, no matter what he has to do to other people to make it happen, and no matter what it might turn him into in the process. because it's obviously the way the world should be for his chosen person. at their feet, ready to bend over backwards and break and build itself again to better answer to all their needs even if they don't ask it for it. it's the only right way it should be for them, and of course takeshi's going to do his utmost at all times to make it a reality as much as possible.

and his devotion comes out as naturally as breathing, comes out lighthearted and nonchalant like he might as well be talking about the weather, but it's not unaware of itself. it's not that takeshi doesn't know it's unhealthy and wrong and that he's willing to go entirely too far in its name for anyone's good. it's not that he wouldn't hear you out if you were to sit him down and explain to him just why he needs to tone it down a little (a lot). logically, he'd agree with you and know you're right. and then he'd tell you he's still not going to do anything whatsoever about it. that he's not bothered by it and doesn't feel the need to change anything to his attitude. makes it a point to never let anyone or anything sway him even an inch in the stand he took when it comes to that, no matter how many thousand of times you might go over the subject with him.

because the morality of his devotion isn't the point at all. is entirely irrelevant to it and doesn't affect the way he expresses it all. it's not the metric with which he draws a line in the sand to hold it accountable to. because the thing is, takeshi's entire world revolves around tsuna--tsuna is his entire world altogether, and it's just a matter of fact, that simple. to him it's a truth as unchanging as the sky being blue, and so being the way he is according to that truth is the only way he can imagine being that'd feel right to him. and so the actual and only metric that matters here is "would tsuna be happier if i were to do this?" and/or "is this something tsuna needs me to do?"

and like. i don't think takeshi ever stops being a kind person capable of compassion and understanding and mercy and forgiveness even ten years later once they became mafia through and through. and i don't think either he grows up to be feared and called a monster per se despite the things they inevitably had to do during those ten years (and the things they'll inevitably keep having to do as long as they keep being mafia), at least not in the way, for example, they'll never stop fearing and calling mukuro one. but i do think that among the tenth gen, he ends up being the one with the most ruthless, merciless and horrific blood on his hands of that particular and distinct loving kind. you know the one i mean, right? he comes to be the one most expected and the one first expected to be willing and to take it upon himself to go through with it when the need arises. and to think little of it after, if anything at all. all in the name of making tsuna's reign as easy on him as possible.

and it's to the point where it's the kind of blood that makes even mukuro pause at times. or, when takeshi is the one coming up with solutions himself during meetings, makes even reborn blink. not because it's unjustified or wouldn't be safe or efficient or anything of the sort, but because it is unwarrantedly thorough in its retaliation. and sometimes, at times like this, he's the one tsuna needs to step in for the most, because he's the only one who can reason with him that "yes, this would work in getting rid of our problem" but "no, please, don't do that takeshi". because if tsuna is the only thing that infers on just how much and in what ways he'll let himself be devoted to him, then of course, he's also the only one takeshi's willing to reign himself in for without second thoughts. because he'd hate to ever do something tsuna would disapprove of or wouldn't want him to do. or do something that'd make tsuna see him differently or love him back less even in the slightest.

and it's also like. his devotion isn't an undisciplined one. it's not one he doesn't have control over, the very opposite. it's a very purposeful and conscious choice he chooses to keep making over and over again every step of the way, and he taught himself to have control over it, to know when it's needed and/or wanted, and how much and in which ways it is when it happens, and to keep it down otherwise. and, yes, to also reign it back in at tsuna's request at times when it still slips past his control. because it's all about making tsuna's happiness easier and secure and long-lasting, and never about burdening him with just how committed he is to do that.

so it comes down to this: takeshi willing to go above and beyond and more for tsuna unless tsuna explicitly asks him not to. and to tsuna needing to ask him not to every now and then. and to other people pointing out to him how too many times tsuna's already needed to stop him, and that maybe there's a hint for him to take there. and to takeshi seeing the hint, looking it straight in the eye and recognizing it for what it is and just. deciding it doesn't apply to him because it's all perfectly normal behavior to him. because it's the only kind of behavior that makes sense to him and feels right.

and so—to circle back to my first point—he can only express his devotion as naturally as breathing, so casually, almost like it's something inconsequential and not worth talking about despite how unmistakably it couldn't be further away from being the truth. it's the only way he could have always known how to express it, because, after all, who has ever taken time to ponder about the details and the hows of the way they breathe?

and i, for one, absolutely eat that shit up every time, thanks for coming to my ted talk <3

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr meta #can i even call this one?? well i'm going to anyway lol #yamamoto takeshi #sawada tsunayoshi #i've never been normal about devotion in stories and characters and won't ever be so sorry if this doesn't make sense #also this is not to say the 10th gen loves tsuna any less unconditionally this isn't a competition #it's just me saying the particularities and specificities of the way takeshi specifically does it appeal to me the most #which is one of the reasons why i have such a big soft spot for 8027 #and it's not a problem in their relationship either btw that's also not what i'm saying #like tsuna doesn't mind it and absolutely /does/ reciprocate it 100% #he's just careful to keep an eye out so none of them will lose themselves along the way #also this is within the context of me shifting canon slightly to the left in the way where the 10th gen loves tsuna /so much/ #they could just as well actually and properly worship him as a god and it still wouldn't make a single difference #and me liking to lean into that fully and taking it to extremes and it inevitably becoming some extent of dark #because considering the environment canon makes them express it (the mafia) it's like. well how else are they meant to keep it alive #and make sure it survives through it without giving it sharp teeth and claws and jagged edges of its own you know? #so if you feel like this is some kind of ooc-ness you're not wrong #but also consider: i'm not wrong either <3 #anyway consider also: unconditional devotion running /so/ deep down to your marrow and to your very essence #even in the face of the whole world telling you how wrong it is and how insane and unhinged you are for it and condemning you for it #it still wouldn't so much as make you consider the thought they might have a point #and i genuinely EAT that shit up every time i love to see it <3

[glitchadeli]

PSA: Shipping & Fandom Culture.

I've been pretty quiet for the most part but this topic has been eating at me for a long while now so I wanna speak on the matter. I'm WELL aware that being in a fandom / fandom culture is toxic and has it's issues. Basically every fandom has it's problems, which is expected because like.. there's so many kinds of people on this earth. We're all bound to have our own thoughts, feelings and opinions. Everyone has a right to want to share those kinds of things, but you know what's really unnecessary? Shitting on a ship so much, saying that you want a certain character to DIE, and overall just being a petty person about it. It's one thing to not like a ship, but going around and doing that is so not necessary. I've seen it in so many fandoms it's insane. I'm well aware GumRob is not everyone's cup of tea. I know very well that Pokeshipping is shit on because of Serena. I've seen the fights in the Paw Patrol fandom over the "Skase" ship. I've seen so many Oc x Canon artists get ridiculed for ever 'daring to put their oc with someone in the canon'. I've seen.. a lot. Been on the internet a long time. Just let people enjoy their ships. (so long as it's not a harmful one, which let me be clear, GumRob is NOT a harmful ship.) For example; I've outwardly said I don't like JulRob (not calling it the other name.) but here's the thing. When I see JulRob art, I don't start commenting how 'bad' it is or shit on the artists' art of it. None of that. I simply scroll and move on with my life. Why should I make someone feel bad for their ship if it makes them happy? Why is it so necessary for you to feel the need to shit on that when you don't need to. I don't understand. I will NEVER tell someone that I dislike/hate their ship if it makes them happy. Hell, if an artist I follow posts a ship I don't like, but the art is still good? I'll tell them their art is good. You CAN compliment something without agreeing with it. Lmao, it's not hard. And also, it's not "fake" to do that. You can be nice to someone and their art even if you don't like the ship itself. I've seen cute Penball art and complimented it, even if Penball isn't my main ship. I'm not being 'fake'. It's not hard to be nice. It's really not. If you're an adult and you go around doing that? Grow up. Hell, block the tags if you need to. Stop being so miserable that you feel the need to spread your misery elsewhere. Go look in a mirror and grow the fuck up. 'scuse my French but I just.. I don't understand. (I mean, I get it, it's the internet, it's inevitable.) Which yeah, that's another thing, I'm well aware that the internet has always been like this. Fandoms are always like this. Ship wars are so common it's not even funny. I can't think of 1 fandom that doesn't have at least 1 shipwar, if not multiple. I know that me complaining about this really isn't going to change anything, but I hope the message at least gets across. Let people be happy, how fucking hard is that? It's not, so grow up. TDLR; Stop shitting on people's ships that aren't harmful and let people be happy :) It's not that hard.

#vent #needed to get this off my chest #Idc how people feel about gumrob #it makes me happy and I will continue to draw it #same with DarDog #it's a newer ship for me and i'm sure eventually itll get shit on but idc it's not harmful #let people be happy #stop being miserable and trying to spread that everywhere #if your ship makes you happy keep drawing it #and don't pay mind to shitty people #sorry for the harsh language but this needed to be said

[a-d-nox]

pac/pap: what is the energy that surrounds you and how can you best protect your energy?

take what resonates leave what doesn't - nothing is 100% for you because these aren't personalized so please no angry comments or dms about what i am saying not being a good fit for you or that you "don't claim" just keep scrolling if that is the case. be kind, self reflect, and have fun.

last pac/pap: what happens when you take actions on your dreams?

want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices!

pile 1

energy around you: i sense that you are healing from something. i actually feel proud of you, pulling this card - you seem hopeful that things are changing for the better, and they truly are. you feel inspired again - i encourage you to create again. i feel like you write or paint? so by all mean - have at it, the block is over. the mental health struggles are getting better and you are currently on the right track so keep it up! keep healing; keep growing.

how to protect your energy: you're energy is extremely sensitive right now. i sense that you feel antagonized by someone at this moment - perhaps by the person you are healing from or someone is poking at you and the mental wounds you are healing. think ethically - would confrontation or defensive remarks make the situation better or worse? perhaps remember that they too are likely going through something. why worsen their possible situation? note that no matter what you do, there is a chance for "difficulties" and "strain" to arise. be the bigger person.

pile 2

energy around you: you are starting the process of a spiritual awakening. know that to continue moving forward and "awakening" you must acknowledge and accept the past for what it is - the past. release any resentment you have and move forward - you do not have to forgive anyone face-to-face you can simply do so on you own. do what you must so you can move forward and not feel held back by the past. your future is bright - no need to dwell in the dust and dark of the past. put your energy into noticing signs from the universe (perhaps practice some shuffle-mancy - put a playlist on shuffle and listen to the first song's lyrics for your message). try not to be too tough on yourself as you let go of the past and embrace the future.

how to protect your energy: as i said before you are a strong person with a bright future, so i trust that you will do what you must - if you see something must be done, take action and do it. connect with your inner authority - protect your inner child, if you are forgiving someone face to face actively remember that your inner child still exists. going face to face with someone who brings you trauma or anxiety does cause age regression in some cases - acknowledge your younger self and remember the growth you have done. you have the ability to protect that inner child. remember to think beyond just yourself - it might not be worth digging up the past when we have presently gone so far. additionally advised: practice self-empowering mantras and affirmations.

pile 3

energy around you: you are moving into a gaining cycle - do not linger on previous fears of challenge and loss but at the same time learn to show gratitude for what is about to come into you life. recall your previous beliefs in change and now rewrite it to see it as a warning that things do change and you can experience loss again. something i sense you should work on is focusing on the spiritual world rather than the material one. you are a clever person, which is not something that can be quantified so stop trying to show everyone what you are instead simply being what you are. if you are dealing with health woes at the moment - try to ground your mindset into that of healing into of suffering. live life as though it could be worse and as though it could be better, instead of taking it for granted that you are "stabilized/stabilizing" because change is inevitable.

how to protect your energy: be generous. the best way to promote your new found prosperity and gains are to model how you wish to be treated and/or wished you were treated in your times of need. step into that leadership role - being a model or figurehead for charitable services can help you to remember where you were, where you are, and where you are going. it is also a great time to get the support of the positive masculine figure(s) in your life; perhaps they can aid you in your journey to connect past, present, and future via their connections/funds. the main message for you is to donate to passion projects and volunteer with those in need. don't focus too had on getting others involved; focus on you and your journey. whatever you can give back, no matter how small, will be appreciated without a doubt.

#astrology #astro community #asteroid #natal chart #astrology tumblr #daily tarot #tarot reading #tarot #tarotcommunity #tarot deck #tarot cards #tarot reader #divination #pick an image #pick a photo #pick a pile #pick a card #pick a picture

[svftloving]

૮꒰ ྀི◜༝◝꒱ა yandere! lumine general headcanons

warnings! yandere themes, overprotectiveness (directed towards reader), obsessive behavior, clingy behavior, force affection, kidnapping, mentions of violence (not towards reader), paimon attempting to be a wingman (but ultimately failing), if you feel like anything else i should add, just comment! <3

notes! couldnt forget about lumine, of course. love her just as much. also, just like aether's, these headcanons take place as if you were traveling with lumine and paimon (since like, before the actual story). enjoy! <3

archons, this woman is absolutely obsessed with you. there's practically no words that could that she could ever formulate out that would even match to how much you truly mean to her. she tries, she really does, but it always feel...insufficient.

while traveling throughout each region in pursue of gaining information for her kin, she gets...very clingy. while she definitely get (over)protective and jumps at any opportunity that strikes her to protect you, lumine's (physical) affection for you grows throughout your journey. it's inevitable, but are you really gonna blame her? she already lost her brother, could you imagine how much she would lose it if she lost you too?

unlike what her brother would do, she's taking you wherever she goes (commisions, simple side quests, places involved in the pursuit to find her brother, etc). and while that may seem nice, it's not. you're practically glued to her and she refuses to let you go. of course, she doesn't take you places that she assess as too dangerous (you're going in the serenitea pot if that's the case), but other than that, you're dragged along wherever her and paimon go. if something ends up going wrong (such as enemies blocking your way, a flirty passbyer, etc), though...she'll end up revoking your privileges and you're stuck in the teapot for 4 to 5 months a while. paimon attempts to have your back and fight for your freedom, but lumine is able to convince her otherwise. give the poor girl some props she's trying her hardest :'(

speaking of paimon…she’s the worse wingman ever. according to lumine, atleast. she appreciates paimon's efforts and all to try and woo you for her, but it always ends up making her look bad in the long run. unintentionally attempting to show off lumine's battling techniques as she breaks the bones of a innocent person for flirting with you, trying to convince you of how amazing lumine is as if she hasn't stated casually how she's willing to kill the entire population of teyvat for you, etc.

anyway, anyway. i really want to point out how willing she is to kill for you. like, her reasons might be even worse than the ones i stated in aether's general headcanons. she's swiftly pulling out her sword and holding it up to the poor guy who's trying to sell flowers as if you both aren't in public. she doesn't usually think either in her attempts to protect you (or stop whatever, or whoever's, making her feel the way she does) and just takes out her sword and gets to swinging.

on a more...obsessive note, she's (indirectly) very dependent on you. while she attempts at not showing too much of her love for you in an attempt to not scare you off more then she probably has despite the fact that she's forcing you along her search for her brother and technically keeps you imprisoned from time to time which is a good enough reason to be afraid, it definitely slips out often she would like. while she's not going to threaten to harm herself if you left (ahem, aether), her words to show off her love for you reveal how dependant she is on you (lumine: "have i ever told you how much i love you? *insert atleast four to five hour rant of how you changed her life completely and how devoted she is to you* ...anyways, wanna go get some hash browns?").

if you couldn't tell, words of affirmation (or literally just talking about anything in general)are her love language. yeah, of course she wouldn't refuse the opportunity to hold your hand and gain other (physical) affection from you (...or just taking it by force), just talking to you makes her day. and more specially, she loves hearing you talk. of course, if you rather not (which is totally fine because you probably want to be anywhere else than by her side), then she doesn't mind talking to you instead. fair warning though, the topics she talks about tend to become a bit...obsessive but that's neither here or there. and that's all fine and dandy, right? :)

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin impact x reader #yandere lumine #yandere lumine x reader #yandere traveler #if you notice some things look similar to aether's headcanons #then yeah i did that on purpose :p #“hey! these headcanons seem longer than aether!” no they don't #YES she has one less bullet point than aether's I'M SORRY-

[pomplalamoose]

whenever you have the time and energy to, could you be so kind as to give us more Luke headcanons? 🥺

You ask and I deliver, anon!🩵

Not all of these turned out as light hearted as I wanted them to be and I accidentally made myself sad while writing, whooops

Hopefully you'll like them anyways😅

• I often think about that one scene at the beginning of ANH where Luke is playing with the little model of a space ship

• and it makes me sad because he never grew up to be an adventurous pilot 

• at this point he might have been nineteen already but his life still held much of the simplicity of a child's

• his dream was simple and clear and in his mind a connection to a father, his uncle and aunt told him about, one he never met

• yet it was taken away alongside the innocence he used to have 

• I think Luke had to say goodbye to that part of him a long time ago 

• and despite this he can't help the sadness that comes with being occasionally reminded of what once was 

• who he once was and what could have been

• he sees himself in the child pretending to pilot a quick ship among the stars and in the teenager excited for his first flight lesson 

• yes, he learned to accept his losses, to live with them, to make his peace even

• deep down though he wants that little star ship model back 

• he imagines it'd look nice on his window sill or on one of his shelves 

• he'd let his students play with it, or use it do demonstrate a lesson 

• and maybe, when he can be sure that nobody is around, he'd make it fly again 

• Luke Skywalker is terrifiying when angry 

• luckily it's not easy getting him to that point 

• he's not usually one to get angry in the first place, instead he'll hit you with "I'm not angry, I'm disappointed in you"

• alternatively you'll be the target of snide remarks, we know he's good at that

• make him frustrated, let him be annoyed, he will cool off quickly enough 

• especially when it comes to you or others dear to him 

• he will overcome his stubbornness and make amends should an argument or disagreement go on for too long 

• you don't want to come face to face with him once someone went too far though 

• even if you are on his side I imagine there's no way around the very uneasy feeling developing in your gut when he finally snaps 

• think of the scene in Jabba's palace, for example, and the delivery of "this is the last mistake you will ever make"

• on the outside he's seemingly calm, he's not shouting or raging and doesn't seriously fight back while being led away

• but look closely and you see how his eyes are blazing, how they are fixated on Jabba like he's marking a target 

• even worse, he's smiling 

• if I'd be there to witness something likes this I'd worry he had gone insane

• in these moments everyone remembers what his father had become and ehat he'd be capable of if he wanted to, if he let himself 

• you can see there's a certain wildness and recklessness awakening in him 

• he is ready to go down, to destroy himself with the villain if it means stopping him 

• the scenario plays out differently when his anger is directed at you

• of course there will be no threats involved, no shouting and no unhinged smiles 

• instead he grows rigid and his face turns almost stone like with the exception of a sternly furrowed brow 

• no matter how tall you are, he'll seem to tower above you, his gaze boring into yours and straight into your soul 

• his demeanor will turn your insides to ice and make your heart jump into your throat  

• pleading and apologizing will get you nowhere 

• even your tears won't soften him

• if there's something left to say he will do so in short clipped sentences, leaving no room for any arguments 

• he will keep his distance then, whatever you did to get him to this point is not something he'll forgive as easily as your occasional bickering 

• he'll need time for himself and make it clear he does not wish for you to be around any longer 

• if you work together and coming into contact is inevitable he won't refuse interaction

• though every moment spent in his intimidating presence will be incredibly hard on you 

• if he eventually wishes to talk through what happened with you, it will happen when he deems the time to be right

• he will approach you on his own terms

• before that you won't be able to get close to him again 

• because of his connection to the Force I imagine Luke's attention drifting off from time to time 

• not in direct conversation or important moments but maybe during political meetings in which he takes on solely representative roles 

• there's only so much he can handle and while he is able to look deeply interested on the outside, his mind can be galaxies away

• should someone notice and try to put him on the spot they won't succeed 

• he always has a fitting answer ready that immediately removes the wind from their sails 

• and begrudgingly they have to content themselves with the thought that Luke surely has his reason for seeming absentminded from time to time 

• he's a Jedi, so who knows what important businesses he's sorting through while also partaking in this meeting 

• while that IS sometimes the case, more often it's not 

• he just tends to be really easily distracted 

• imagine all these people in a big room high up over other buildings on Coruscant 

• one moment Luke is listening, the next he notices a person/a droid outside cleaning the windows 

• I see him going "oh noooo what are they doing, this is so dangerous!", momentarily forgetting about the fact that being himself comes with an even shorter life expectancy 

• if someone were able to listen in on his thoughts (Leia most likely), they'd tell him that blowing up the Death Star is way worse and he has no reason to worry

• Luke worries anyways, it's more interesting than listening to politicians drone on endlessly too, and suddenly he feels responsible for their well being 

• even if he returns his attention to the conversation at hand, part of him keeps concentrating on the workers outside just to make sure none of them fall

• in one of my previous headcanon posts I said that I don't think Luke would be a good dancer 

• hear me out because I have more thoughts on this topic 

• first of all I was strictly talking about ballroom/latin dancing 

• of course if he were to take lessons he'd be able to do decently in every variation of it too, it's just that I think it's not something he'd necessarily WANT to do 

• (he'll do it for you if that's what you wish)

• it's not something that comes to him as easily and naturally as piloting for example 

• also I just love the idea of him and Han hiding in really cramped and dark broom closets or maintenance shafts to avoid being lectured by Leia on why they really REALLY need to take their lessons seriously 

• it's a matter of good representation! If they rudicoul themselves it will make her look stupid as well!

• (really, I just want to see the og trio in sitcom settings)

• dancing at a club or party is a different thing, he'd definitely enjoy that more 

• like, it's obvious the talent is there it's clear he's having a good time 

• still his movements look kind of messy 

• it's so cute to watch him have fun though and also strangely motivating, to a point where many want to join him 

• now traditional folk dances? Sign him the fuck up 

• no matter the culture or even the species, he's immediately able to nail all of their routines and movements without practice 

• just let him look on for a few minutes and he'll go off, every step memorized perfectly 

#ask #luke skywalker #luke skywalker x reader #luke skywalker x you #luke star wars #star wars #star wars fanfiction #fanfic #star wars a new hope #star wars empire strikes back #star wars return of the jedi #star wars headcanons #headcanons #light angst

[iamfuckingsorry]

Sorry guys, another DE rant incoming. This one's not even on any specific topic, just some feelings about the game that I need to get out.

So, the game absolutely fucking killed me. I intentionally didn't play the entire thing at once to give myself time to process and it still fucking killed me. And by killed I mean I had to take crying breaks at work hiding in the bathroom. Like literally unable to go through a day at work without coming this close to a breakdown. And there's other compounding factors for that, sure, but still.

And it's like... It's a chilling social commentary with too many layers for its own good. The main character is a walking bundle of current and past issues mixed with the consequences of extremely messed-up past actions. The main support character has the best of intentions but is heavily flawed himself. Everyone else in the story is fucked up, really every single fucking thing is fucked up, yet the game itself keeps giving you these little snippets of hope. All the side quests where you can make a difference to someone. Deep conversations. Kim smiling. Realizing the people you originally thought were massive assholes were just hurting. The goddamn stick insect.

You are a violent and irrepressible miracle.

Something beautiful is going to happen.

In the dark times, should the stars also go out?

Streets and sodium lights, the sky, the world. You're still alive.

You still have some years. You still have some hope.

The only way to load the dice is to keep on fighting.

Kim being so hopelessly in love with Revachol even though he's been treated like shit by the city's inhabitants.

Harry being so hopelessly in love with Revachol, too, even though he can't even remember her.

The world is shit, but there's still all these little things that make it worth living.

And I'd... really love for that to be my take away. I would really, really fucking love that. But somehow, I can't.

Because no matter how much good you do preventing an absolute bloodbath in Martinaise, changes are coming, and they aren't good changes. The wheels are already in motion and they cannot be stopped, no matter how vigilant Harry is, no matter how much Revachol loves him.

22 years after Harry wakes up, Revachol's getting nuked to pieces.

Some 5 years after that, the entire world as we know it is getting swallowed by the pale.

Kim Kitsuragi will not live to see 70.

(Honestly, this is the line that kills me the most. He deserves to grow old, to look at his life and be happy with what he's done with it, at peace and fully accepted by everyone including himself for the first time in his life. And instead he's getting killed in a pointless conflict that will usher in the end of the world, or if he won't get killed then, he's getting nuked to death. Kim Kitsuragi will not live to see 70.)

Anyway. I know that that's part of the point. Horrible things are inevitable but that doesn't mean life isn't worth living and good things aren't worth fighting for. You can still fight the inevitable darkness while you're here, you should still fight the inevitable darkness while you're here, you need to fight the inevitable darkness while you're still here because if you don't, then what are you living for? And if not you, then who? If you lose your last sliver of hope, then you lose everything. Yes, life is terrible and terrifying, but life is also so, so, so beautiful.

And even when life is shit, it's all just part of a cycle. Sometimes bad things need to happen in order for the good ones to be able to come back again. One day I'll return to your side. After death, life again. After the pale, the world again. The good connected to the bad, intertwined so tightly they cannot be separated in any meaningful way.

And I think I'm starting to get there, I really do. After the pale, the world again. Even in the darkest of times there is always hope of a brighter future. After the pale, the world again. After death, life again. Un jour je serai de retour près de toi. The only way to load the dice is to keep on fighting. The stars will never go out, not even in the darkest of times.

But instead I just... I close my eyes and I think of Revachol herself begging Harry to save her, and I think of her burning, and I think of Kim not living to see 70.

And I want to cry.

#DE #disco elysium #herr's personal tag #god this rant got so so heavily edited down and it's still so fucking long #god #i /need/ to talk about DE to someone alright #i /need/ to or i swear i'm gonna go crazy #if you're wondering about the kim line #he says he is 43 and planning to live to see 70 #when harry wants to climb up that rusty fire ladder to the building ruby's hiding in #and i dont know why #but that line just hits me so fucking hard

[andreal831]

The main reason I can’t see Elijah considering Marcel and Davina as family compared to Cami is the fact that they’re seen as being anti-Mikaelson (rightfully so) more times than not. But in Elijah’s eyes, it doesn’t matter if their reasons are valid, it would make them a threat to his family. Whilst Cami (and obviously Hayley) on the other hand, never did anything to go against the Mikaelsons or harm them. It’s kind of ironic considering they’re the two that actually married a Mikaelson in the end.

I don’t really know how to form this into a question so I guess I’m just asking for your opinion on it lol.

I do see what you're saying and I think Elijah has different tiers of family.

Cami and Hayley were in the Rebekah/Klaus/Hope top tier for him. And yes, a lot of it is because they accept Rebekah and Klaus so easily. He is able to allow himself to love them in that way because he doesn't have to worry about causing division in his family as he has had to in the past. Cami and Hayley can threaten the very lives of his family, and they kind of do, but he wouldn't harm them for anything.

But Marcel should be up there too. This is actually another reason I wish the show wasn't so centered around Klaus because Klaus wasn't the only one that was there for 100 years watching Marcel grow up, yet based on what we see in the show it almost feels that way. I think it would be extremely problematic for Elijah to watch Marcel grow up and be raised in his household but not even consider him family. Even though Hope is not Elijah's child, he would never let anything happen to her even if she turned on Klaus or his family. Why should Marcel be different? This is a big problem I have with the writers, how differently the family members interact with Hope and Marcel. Just because Marcel is not biologically related, they raised him. They chose to make him a part of their family. That makes him family. I can't imagine Elijah watching him grow up and not caring for him. We see it throughout the show that Elijah does care about Marcel, even though he has a terrible way of showing it a lot of the time. Elijah regrets how their relationship turned out because he allowed Klaus to dictate raising Marcel. So it's not because Marcel is with Rebekah but because he was adopted by the Mikaelsons. Elijah even helps dagger Kol for attempting to harm Marcel when he is a child. Their relationship is continuously disregarded though in the name of drama or trying to build up Klaus as a father figure.

Ideally I would like to think Elijah views Marcel more up there with Hope, but unfortunately he's probably more on the same level as Kol. I think still maybe above Finn. Like Elijah would leave Marcel to rot in the dungeons, but I just don't see Elijah killing him (I know ironic because it did happen).

Davina is a little different because Elijah doesn't really know her for a long period of time. Davina's relation would be mostly because of how Marcel and Kol view Davina. Elijah doesn't really have a direct link to her so I do think this is a little weaker of a connection. Just because your sibling is dating someone, doesn't mean you view them as family. Davina is family adjacent at best, which is why I think he would inevitably still sacrifice her for his family. He'd rather Kol be heartbroken and alive then be dead. I think if Elijah had lived to see them marry and interacted with Davina more, he would come to see her as family and even find her hatred of Klaus amusing. But I don't think she would ever truly get to a point where she would be safe if she went against the family. Elijah may hesitate more if he has his own familial love for her, but to Elijah, she would always be just outside of those who are safe.

We also can't forget that their own family members were anti-Mikaelsons so I don't think this necessarily stops them from being family. Look at Kol and Finn. Elijah may let them sit in a box for an unspeakable amount of time, but he wouldn't let anyone harm them. It's one of those, I can bully my sibling but if someone else did it, we'd have problems.

I've said this before, but I love that an important trope for TO is that family isn't just blood and hate that it is a trope that is forgotten so much in the writing. There are so many amazing found family relationships as well as so many blood relationships that are terrible. I wish the show about family would have focused more on the family.

Thanks for bringing this up!

#elijah mikealson #davina claire #marcel gerard #elijah and davina as friends would be hilarious #Klaus would hate it #which would make it even better #tvdu #the originals #the mikaelsons #anon ask #fandom asks #tvd ask #tvd anon ask #fandom answers

[spaceorphan18]

5 Times Kurt Talks About Sex and 1 Time He Doesn't (Part One)

A/N: So, this was inspired the other day by a Nonny who was asking about how Kurt interacts with others on the topic of sex and this little idea popped in my head.

It's a little mini-series, and I'll post one part a day, then I'll get it up on Ao3 after it's complete.

It's set in a post-canon-ish world when they're all living in New York. The whole thing takes place over the course of a day.

****

Conversation One: Tina

There’s a banging on the door.  Kurt hasn’t even had a sip of his morning coffee yet, and reluctantly regrets even getting up in the morning as he makes his way through the kitchen to the living room.  The pounding intensifies.  Good, god, what is so important this early in the morning? 

He opens the door, and in stumbles Tina.  “Blaine!” she calls, without even a hello.  “Blainey!! Blaine, get out here, I need to talk to you.” She pushes past Kurt, in a frenzy, and goes straight for the bedrooms, as if it’s normal for someone not even invited in to do so.  

“He’s at rehearsal,” Kurt grumbles.  He shuts the door and heads back to the kitchen, not even bothering to stop Tina as she races around the apartment in search of Blaine.  

“It’s Saturday,” Tina cries, as if that’s some sort of argument against Blaine being gone.  The apartment is small enough that it takes less than a minute for Tina to confirm that Kurt is, indeed, alone.  

“People still have to rehearse on Saturdays.”  He pours himself a mug of coffee, taking in the deep, rich smell of it as he waits for Tina to inevitably join him.  

She’s grumpy as she enters the kitchen.  “Well, that would explain why he’s not answering his phone.” 

He stares at her blankly.  “What do you want, Tina?” 

It’s then that she stops in her tracks, as if she’s suddenly aware that Kurt’s really the only one there to talk to.  She’s unusually hesitant before she speaks again.  “You know what - it’s fine.  I’ll just see him later.” 

Kurt raises an eyebrow at her. “What did you need?” 

“Really, it was nothing.” 

“Tina…” 

“I should have waited for his text,” Tina insists.  “Totally not an emergency.  You don’t even need to mention that I was here.” 

“You’ve already crashed my morning,” Kurt says, waving his mug around.  Sure, it’s annoying to be interrupted during your morning routine - but at least whatever Tina’s backing away from is probably better than anything on TV at the moment. “You might as well just tell me.”

“Well…” she’s hesitant again as she slides into one of his kitchen chairs.  “It’s just that you and I, uh, don’t really talk about this stuff.”  

Okay, so now his attention is piqued.  “What stuff?” 

“You know…”  her voice grows soft.  “About sex stuff.”  

She’s not wrong.  Tina will gossip about other people’s sex lives until the cows come home, but she’s rather tight-lipped about her own. 

“Try me.” 

“I should really wait and just talk to Blaine.” 

“Do you really think Blaine won’t tell me eventually anyway?” 

Kurt’s not sure what is more bitter - his coffee or the expression on Tina’s face.  

“Fine, Kurt Hummel.” She takes a deep breath, composing herself. “So, you know how Artie and I are beginning to see each other again?  Well, it’s been going great.  Or at least I thought it had been going great.  Until yesterday… So, I was going down on him.  And, I mean, it’s not my favorite thing.  Do all men have that weird smell down there? Or do I need to get Artie some kind of genitalia perfume for Christmas? And I mean, I can’t do it for very long because my mouth dries out but anyway…ever since I’ve known  him he’s gone on and on about how much he just loves blowjobs.  I swear, I have heard about every single woman who has thought it wise to give him one.  And, god, he especially wouldn’t shut up about Brittany -- who apparently gives the most magical blowjobs.  Sam used to go on and on about Brittany, too, now that I think of it.  Why are you looking at me like that? Oh, god, don’t tell me you agree with Brittany’s mind blowing oral skills.” 

Kurt throws up a little in his mouth.  “Do you really think I’d let that woman near my dick?” 

Tina waves off the comment, continuing on with her rant.  “Anyway… it takes him forever to come and he just seems barely into it.  And I am trying all of my best moves.  I am not bad at blowjobs.  At least, Mike never complained.  And remember that one guy I dated a few years ago? Greg? He said I was the best he’s ever had.  I may have been the only one, but that’s not the point.  The point is I wanted to talk to Blaine so he could give me tips on how to give a better blowjob.” 

“Wait, is this really what you and Blaine talk about when I’m not around?” 

“This is serious, Kurt!” 

Kurt smirks into his coffee as he thinks it over.  “I mean, if you want to talk about someone who gives magical blowjobs…”

Tina lets out a frustrated grunt.  “Look, it’s not even because of this one time, either.  I tried to wake him up this morning with a little surprise and he just kind of shoved me away.  It was hu-mil-i-ating.  My best friend and would-be boyfriend doesn’t like my mouth on him.  Maybe this was just the worst idea I’ve ever had and we should have never gotten back together.   I just need to accept the fact that I’m going to die alone.” 

Wow.  That escalated quickly.  It’s Tina, though, he’s not really surprised. 

“Okay, Tina.” Kurt sets his coffee mug down and folds his arms across his chest.  “Let me get this straight.  Did you at any point ask Artie about his weird reactions?” 

She sits there silently for a moment.  “Well, no…” 

“So, to recap your morning - you had a bad sexual experience.  And instead of talking to your boyfriend about it, you came to the conclusion that you’re terrible at sex, that you’re going to die alone, and then rushed over here to ask my husband how to properly suck a guy off?” 

“You know, this is why I don’t come to you about these things,” Tina scoffs.  “You don’t have to be judgy about it.” 

Kurt refrains from rolling his eyes at her.  “I’m not-- whatever… Tina, Artie’s an idiot.  You know you have to hit Artie over the head with a brick in order to get his attention.  I think it’s a different set of oral skills that may be more beneficial to your relationship.” Kurt chuckles at his own joke.  “If you want, though, you could just say you’ll be refraining from using your mouth on any part of him until he can use his mouth to give you an orgasm. I mean, if you’re not having fun - why would he be?  And, god, do not buy him some weird genitalia perfume - I’d be happy to recommend a decent manscaping kit instead.  Also, for the record, dying alone isn’t the worst thing in the world - at least you’d have peace and quiet. And god knows I wish I had more of that in my life.  But I mean, please feel free to still talk to Blaine.  He does know how to do this thing with his tongue that gets me there faster than when we were teenagers.  Absolutely magical.”   

For the first time since he’s known her, Tina sits in a complete silence, utterly at a loss at how to respond. 

Kurt picks up his mug and grins as he sips. 

#s.o. writes things #five times #kurt hummel #tina cohen-chang #kurt hummel fic

[ae-neon]

I am curious of Rhysand father you know. As for someone that leaves his son wing and leave him to be chain during Hybern war, he seem Beron-ish. But i cant describe that there is this warm to him. Especially to his own mate.

If it possible, I would like to read more of hus father. His father seem to have more firm and fierce hold on both Illyria and Hewn City. They march to war under his command. His father also Azriel first emploer. This man must have nurture Az spy skill too.

But, he let his mate bring Rhys to the illyrian ring where I was thinking that rhys should have his basic school done first. He said how his mother taught him how to read by the window in Illyria. So, he dont really receive proper training to be High Lord did he?

And I am curious to know what will his father reaction to Rhys has done to his court. I doubt he will accept Feyre who is stolen bride and introduce as whore to be NC lady.

Hello anon

They don't have names so just to make it simple I will say Father, Mother, Sister.

For my personal belief, when I think of Rhysand's family : I always think Sister was older than him.

For me this makes sense as to why:

His memories with his friends and Mor don't include Sister, usually older siblings are off doing their own thing so he was left to hang out with his friends and his cousin who is the same age as him. That's why Rhys could sneak to Spring and be friends with Tamlin as well.

Maybe during that time Father was preparing Sister to rule.

Rhys was the first to ban wing clipping which means Father didn't do it but we can assume that Sister's wings were not clipped - Father probably wanted Sister to stand out as equal to Illyrian men so she can rule them (rather than make all women free)

It also makes sense of Rhys spending all his time growing up with Mother (an illyrian seamstress, not a noble or a princess) who took charge of his education but Sister is never around in those memories.

Maybe Sister was in the Hewn City with Father, getting a formal education.

In this way Feyre and Rhys can parallel each other. They are the forgotten younger child. It can even explain why he cannot let go of his hate for Nesta - she is just like Sister as the older child who was the focus of the head of the family. Maybe there is jealousy and resentment there

Then we learn that Father split up the bat boys because he worried they are too powerful together. Maybe he thought they (or someone else) would choose to put Rhys on the throne instead of Sister.

He keeps Azriel close and sends Cassian to the Illyrian infantry but maybe he also sends Rhys to Velaris instead of bringing him back to the capital (CoN) and that's why Rhysand feels more connected to Velaris than to the CoN.

Father was 900 when Mother was 18 but from what we know her life seemed to be okay - Father made sure she was not touched or disrespected by Illyrians or High Fae.

Rhys is the opposite. He is like a spoiled child. He is one of those arrogant princes who brings down their whole family name.

He introduces Feyre as his sexual plaything in front of the conservative nobility of the capital of the court. Then next time he visits he has to start hurting people because they don't show her respect?? Now he will expect them to respect his son who is born of the woman he fingered in front of them.

Even when Nesta and Elain are in Illyria - he doesn't stop them from saying bad things about the High Lady's sisters. He doesn't stop Cassian or Nesta from arguing in public. He has sex in the sky.

He cannot even make Keir give him the Veritas simply by asking. He is always threatening the Hewn City and it's people. He neglects the Illyrians to the point that rebellion seems inevitable.

He later gives up control of the Hewn City to Mor even tho she cannot go there?? Then he lets Keir into Velaris even tho Keir already has full control of the CoN

He has no control or respect in his own Court so he hides away in Velaris and only treated them "well" but still the city has slums and brothels.

As another anon pointed out; Velaris has never had to defend itself and relies on the CoN and Illyria. It also sits near the sea to Hybern. It can be very easily attacked and taken even from within the Court.

Rhysand's power cannot hold off enemies, only kill them and if they attacked he would have to kill his own citizens. Which would only lead to more and more people trying to kill him.

Without Amren, Rhys would probably have been usurped by now.

Of course this is me trying to make sense from what we have. The truth is sjm gave us nothing, not even a name, because to her they are just tools to make Rhys sympathetic.

#anon asks #rhysand #acotar worldbuilding #sjm is a bad author #anti rhysand #just in case

[shiroi---kumo]

.: The Devil's Toll :.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ He doesn't understand why his hair is getting stroked so lovingly but he also doesn't know why he's finding it so hard to pull away. There is a small hand brushing through white locks over and over and he doesn't quite know how he ended up leaning his head up on His Excellency’s chair like some kind of lounging cat but here he is doing just that nonetheless.

Words: 2.9 k   Pages:  6 TW;;  Depression, PTSD, Submission, Mental Illness, Survivor’s Guilt, gaslighting, possession, isolation, abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse, self blame, objectification, manipulation, injury, mental breakdown, intimidation, love bombing, dissociation, conditioning, punishment and praise, rewards, murder

His stomach twists in disgust as he realizes the true stakes of the situation and now if he moves wrong that hand in his hair will turn into a variable claw in the matter of a few moments. He hates how he can't remember ever laying down like this and quite frankly he can't remember waking up this morning either.

 It's becoming more and more frequent in recent days. He's missing entire chunks of time and he doesn't quite know what to make of it. He's missing chunks of time and he can't remember when was the last time His Excellency killed him. Somehow this seems like more of a bad thing than a good thing for as strange as that sounds. Shouldn't one want to be spared the pain of death? Well yes, and of course he does too but this also means that when the time comes that he inevitably messes up again, when His Excellency makes a move for punishment it will be the most severe one he's received to date. 

He's not stupid. He knows how this game works. Praise and Punishment walk hand in hand with this little beast and right now those same hands are in his hair and he can't move. He can't pull away no matter how much he wants to and he can't even flinch or breathe wrong unless he wants those small but deadly fingers ready to tear snow colored locks right out from his head. 

It's always such a wretched sensation.  

Nothing is worse than the feeling of his hair being pulled. He hates it. He hates the feeling and he hates the way it makes him feel so vulnerable. How the pain of it will bring him to his knees and have him fighting back the tears at the sensation. You would think one who has died as many times as he has would have more pain tolerance for something seemingly so simple but the sensation of even the root of his hair going taunt is enough to send his nervous system into overdrive. 

But what he hates the most is how he can feel himself start purring. He doesn’t know why he does it. He tries to tell himself to stop but he can feel those fingers grow softer as they stroke through snow. The louder he purrs the softer they get and he hates himself for finding so much comfort in the sensation. He hates himself for finding peace in this.  He should be running away from this beast as quickly as his body would carry him. He should be fleeing at any chance he gets but instead he allows himself to sink into his place on the arm of this chair as that little monster continues to comb through fluffy spikes with a gentleness that could only be described as care. 

That can’t be right. 

That’s just not possible, and he hates how many times he feels like he’s had this conversation with himself as of late. The beast does not love him. The demon does not care. The little devil felt nothing for him but yet those lips part and purr out affections of their own. 

“You’ve been so well behaved as of late, Precious.”  The small emperor sounds as his hand continues to work. “You’ve done your tasks so well. I’m proud of you, my Little Cloud. You’ve been such a good pet. Perhaps you deserve some time out of the castle? I think you’ve earned it.” 

He only increases the volume on his purring in response as if doing so will show his gratitude for such a notion but his lips are hanging in a frown behind the thin metal covering his face as the boy of pink continues. 

“You can go with Herba the next she leaves.” The Tyrant offers as he finally pulls his hand away and out of the Misterican’s hair. “But when she leaves you know the rules. Her word is as good as my word and you are to do whatever she asks of you. You understand, don’t you Precious?” 

“Yes, Your Excellency.” 

“That’s my good boy. You’ve become so well behaved. I’m so proud of you, Makenshi.” 

His purring only grows louder as those hands return to his hair and he doesn’t know how long he stays like that but it’s long enough that he doesn’t remember falling asleep.  Did he fall asleep? He doesn’t know. He does know that he woke in his own quarters the next morning and he was met with Herba throwing her arms over his shoulders to bring him into a very tight and very unwanted hug and she leaned to try to push a kiss to his cheek and he could only lean himself the opposite direction so far to avoid contact. 

“Makenshi.”  

His name was trumpeted in his direction in a small but authoritative voice and it has the Misterican standing up straight giving this damnable woman the space she needed to push those poison painted lips directly to his cheek even if it was covered in metal.  Dull jade is looking forward into the main hall with the entirety of his form tingling to both get away from this woman and get off the ground. The place just above the little demon’s head is calling his name because then he is both in eyesight but at the same time away from this gaggle of absolute morons. 

If he could never associate with any of them for the rest of his life ever again, he’s sure he could find a way to be happy. If only Rorahm could finally wake up - but  - jade moons downcast at the thought because at this rate his sun would never rise and he was going to be stuck here for the rest of said life. Should he make the most of it? Should he adjust?  

No. No. Listen to yourself Makenshi. You’re falling for that monster’s tricks! 

But are they tricks? 

It’s been too many years and he doesn’t know anymore. He doesn’t remember the sound of his Mother’s voice and he can hardly remember his Father’s face. He tries not to think about them too much because he doesn’t want to get himself all upset and then in turn upset His Excellency. The Tyrant isn’t exactly one to be any form of comforting if he were to simply explain that he was thinking about home. In fact, he doesn’t want that little monster anywhere near  anything to do with Misterica in the first place, so it would probably be for the best to simply forget it all anyway. If he can’t remember then the little beast can manipulate it against him. 

He can’t seem to remember most things lately anyway. 

He can’t remember going to sleep the night before and he hardly can make sense of the morning. He just wants this woman to get off of him but instead she lets herself sink down to wrap her arm around his and lean herself up against him like they were anything that could be considered close - which was comical in his mind when the closest he would like to be to this 

woman would be to watch her burn.  

Still he just adjusts to the feeling of her hanging off his arm as he focuses his attention on His Excellency instead because the only thing he ever needed to do was to keep the little gremlin happy and as long as he did that he’d keep his head. Why was the beast smiling at him the way he was? He doesn’t like it. It’s making his skin crawl almost as much as the feeling of the plant witch hanging off his arm is. 

“Makenshi, I am assigning you to assist Herba today. I expect you two to cooperate while you’re out in the field. Herba knows what needs to be done, so you simply need to follow her lead, and I shouldn’t have to repeat myself with what we discussed yesterday, do I?” 

“No, Your Excellency. I remember.”  He sounds, raising his free arm to cross it over his chest to give this pink haired abomination a half bow. What he was saying he remembers, he doesn’t know. Quite frankly, he doesn’t even even the day before. Yesterday? He couldn’t tell you. Herba’s face was where his memory picks up and he hates that too because there is something about thinking about yesterday that is turning his stomach but he couldn’t tell you why. 

So now they’re returning to that damnable airship and he hates being on it.  It’s nauseating and the amount of pollen in the air is enough to make him sick. His stomach is twisting in knots As he takes a seat. He doesn’t feel well but there is the sound of jingling chimes in the air as he looks over to the open deck just to the right of him. Chimes blowing in the wind and it's enough to tell him to just focus on the sound of something pleasant for once as he lays his head down and tells himself to just go back to sleep.  She’ll wake him when they get there. She always does. 

And he’s sure it’s for something nasty.  It always is.

He won’t do it this time though. He’ll never kill again and he doesn’t care how badly His Excellency beats him to death for disobeying orders. He will not stain the Holy Blade with yet more blood of the innocent… He just needs to not think about it and sleep. He’ll fight with her when he wakes up. His Excellency might be able to get the better of him but Herba won’t. He will never let that woman - 

“ ‘kenshi-darling? ‘Kenshi-darling, wake up you silly willy. If you told me you were tired, I would have gotten you a blanket, lovely.”  She smiles at him with a face that is possibly dripping with more venom than it ever has before. Her smiles are always fake and they turn his stomach, but she is taking him by the hand and he’s letting her.  He doesn’t feel like fighting with her.  

It’s a quiet town they’ve found themselves in this time. It’s closer to the outer reaches of Wonderland but not quite all the way out. A town that has larger than normal buildings built up and a large building he wonders if it is a church of some kind on the other side of town. She has him by the hand as they walk, and the people of this village don’t seem to be paying them any mind.  Children are laughing, the smell of fresh bread is in the air and the city itself seems at peace. 

Herba is leaning herself in to cling to his arm as if they were some sort of couple and it is taking everything in him not to shake her off. She just seems to be happy to take a stroll with him and he doesn’t understand what the catch is. Why did His Excellency let him out of the castle if there was nothing wicked for him to do? Why let him just come take in the sights of Wonderland if they didn’t mean for him to cause some kind of havoc?  

She’s strolling through the local bazaar with him as his nose catches the smell of sugar and it’s been so long since he has got to eat anything truly sweet. He sniffs once and then again and she’s making an Oooh? Sort of sound that he doesn’t like as she takes him by the hand to lead him towards the source of the scent. 

“You like sweets, don’t you, ‘kenshi? I’ll buy you something. I’ll buy you something nice, for how good you’ve been lately. Tell me what you want. Anything and you can have it. We all deserve a little treat every now and then.” 

Is she serious? She can’t be. 

The Church bell is ringing in the background as she pulls him along. A grin slipping on her lips as she pulls him into the middle of the marketplace, only to look back at the Misterican with bright eyes and a poison purple smile. 

“Anything you want, ‘kenshi-darling. Name it, and it’s yours.” She pauses to look towards the church and watches as the streets seem to fill as if the building is emptying further with each chime.  “Must be noon.”  She sounds returning her gaze to her companion only to watch as a pale hand reaches back towards the hilt of his blade to rock it free with a single click.  

“ ‘kenshi-darling?”  She sounds but still just continues to watch the man move. The swordsman takes his blade up into his grip and it is held out towards her at length as if extending the tip in her direction. Mist rolls out from behind bared teeth in plumbs when the devil growls.  He’s pushing off a foot to take off in a dead lunge in her direction but instead of striking at the object of his absolute hatred, the man of white races past her directly towards that of an older man down the way of the lane of the marketplace and cleaves the poor soul clean in two. 

More Mist rolls out from parted pale as his blade is swung to send a flood of white colored energy racing through the stalls like a spark on a wick until it reaches its destination and half the bazaar goes up in a massive explosion.  Screams fill the sky as citizens start to scurry and scatter. 

“The White Devil!!” They cry.  “The White Devil has come for us all!” 

Red stains window panes and runs along the cracks of the cobblestone as the carnage continues.  The man of snow does not cease his hellsent symphony even as men and women alike fall to their knees to beg for their lives. Their lights are snuffed out regardless. Children struck down with little concern and explosion after explosion brings building of stone tumbling to the ground. 

Before long the symphony of sayonara falls silent and the Maestro of the Massacre stands center stage, crimson dripping from the Holy Blade stained with sin once more. 

Only one other life remains and a dangerous gaze of dimmed jade is turning to glare daggers at the plant like woman. He’s raising his blade and taking stance to charge her when she merely raises her hand in his direction and snaps her fingers together. 

Jade eyes go wide before they start blinking rapidly and soon their owner is looking all around him with horror etching itself into his features.  Anger overcomes him as he refocuses on Gaudium’s Lord of Plants and Potions only to scream. 

“What did you do?! Answer me! You didn’t have to kill them!” 

But he only gets a small laugh in response as she floats over to him to rest just over his shoulders. 

“What did I do? I didn’t do anything. You did this, ‘kenshi-baby. This was all your work. You killed them all gracefully and you didn’t leave a single one alive. Truly expert skill.”   

“You’re lying!” He hisses as his mind starts to reel at the possibility. Her lungs didn’t sound like she was lying. 

“Am I though?” She asks coyly. “Look at your sword.” 

And her hand is pointing a finger down causing jade eyes to drop along with it even if he’s scared to do what she’s asking. The Maken is in his hand and it is covered in blood. He’s covered in blood.  

His hand is trembling as the Maken is released and a deep guttural scream escapes him from down in his belly as the Holy Blade clatters to the ground. His hands are flying up to slip into white locks in between his horns only for the scream to get louder.  

What was going ON?!!!! This wasn’t right!!! He doesn’t remember ANYTHING!!!! 

His entire body is shaking as his knees hit the ground. All he can do is scream. He killed these people. He slaughtered an entire town and he doesn’t even know how or why. He can’t remember their faces. He never knew their names.  He slaughtered these people and -  

Herba is wrapping her arms around his shoulders as she hovers there next to him for the moment, nuzzling her face in close to his own. 

“ You did so good today, ‘kenshi-darling. Let’s go home and tell, His Excellency, about what a good job you did. I’m sure he’ll reward you. Oh and !”  She’s letting her feet hit the ground to shuffle over to the now destroyed stand of the vendor from earlier that had been selling all sorts of sweet treats and she picks up what appears to be some sort of hard candy on a stick and extends it out to him.  “I said I’d get you anything. A treat for doing such a good job.” 

But he couldn’t eat anything now.  Now it would only taste bitter.   

#misterican stories || drabble #topic: gaudium #topic: wonderland #topic: the white devil #topic: a prince's life #topic: chaos #topic: the earl #topic: herba #tw; Depression #tw; PTSD #tw; Submission #tw; Mental Illness #tw; Survivor’s Guilt #tw; gaslighting #tw; possession #tw; isolation #tw; abuse #tw; mental abuse #tw; self blame #tw; objectification #tw; manipulation #tw; injury #tw; mental breakdown #tw; intimidation #tw; love bombing #tw; dissociation #tw; conditioning #tw; punishment and praise #tw; rewards #tw; murder

[purplesurveys]

1844

What did you have for dinner tonight?: It's only 10 AM, but last night we went to Solaire to watch Miss Saigon and we went with an Asian spread. I got bao, rice paper rolls, and pad thai.

If you were given a million dollars, what would you spend it on? I'd keep a good portion of it as savings and not touch it until I'm like, 65; the rest I would give to my parents.

Have you ever cried in front of your parents over a boyfriend or girlfriend?: Nope.

What does your bedroom smell like right now?: Like coffee, I'm guessing.

Have you ever shaved off your eyebrow before?: I've never done that but I did have trichotillomania growing up so I had phases where I was missing chunks of my eyebrows.

Do you want to have a boy or girl whenever you have kids?: Girl.

Your pregnant with twins: What do you name them?: Definitely not similar names like Kaye and Kate as it would only make me more confused haha.

Describe your outfit.: Only in loungewear today as I'm at home, but last night I had on a dark green halter dress that went down to a bit above my knees. It also had a slit on the left leg side. I wore black heels and a small black shoulder bag as well.

What gigabyte is your memory card?: I haven't had a hard drive since high school, even though I know I really should invest in one.

What brand is your digital camera?: I don't own a digicam but damn if those things aren't seeing a resurgence lately. I might be the only one in my age group left who still doesn't have one.

When was the last time you hung out with your best friend?: Angela came over last month just to hang out and have some heart to hearts here and there.

What is a movie you're waiting to see?: I've been meaning to watch The Iron Claw. It's not all the time that a movie centered around wrestling gets to be produced and becomes critically-acclaimed at that, so I'm looking forward to seeing it.

Who was the last person to cook something for you?: Apart from the crew at Solaire lol, my mom.

Do you ever sit and think what if about something?: Sure, I think it's inevitable to come across those thoughts every now and then.

If so, what is it?: It's always very different. Like what if we're one of those families able to migrate, what if Kimi was still alive, what if I chose to be a journalist...there's a million scenarios with a million possibilities and how actively my mind runs I could be thinking about anything.

What’s on tv right now?: My own TV isn't it but I know my sister is watching some streamer play video games in the living room TV.

Do you ever stop and smell the roses?: Sure, if I remember to.

Where do you download music from?: I listen to music on Spotify but never download cause it'd take up so much storage if I were to download all the albums I like.

How many channels do you have on your tv?: Don't really throw around the word 'channels' anymore, but as for apps we have subscriptions to and regularly use it'd be Netflix, YouTube, Disney+, Prime, Apple TV, and quite recently this local sports channel since it's the only one in the country that airs WWE live.

What are you most scared of?: Getting cancer or dementia. < This, but these circumstances happening to my family. I honestly don't think I'd care as much if it happened to me.

If you were given a chance to bring someone back to life, who would you choose?: No one. If it's their time, it's their time; and I don't want to fuck around with grief.

Do you talk to any of your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?: Nope.

If so, which one?:

What is your mom doing right now?: I think she's on her phone just reliving our Miss Saigon experience last night haha. I'm glad she really enjoyed it! She watched the 2000 Manila tour – it was still Lea Salonga playing Kim - and I call out Lea cause she set such a high standard for Kim; and it made me worried that her Gen X self might end up simply comparing the 2024 show to what she watched 24 years ago.

I was happy and relieved it wasn't the case and she had so much fun. As for me my soft spot was hit all evening knowing that she originally watched with my dad, and now she got to watch the play with her three kids.

Are you currently listening to music?: I'm not.

What is the weather like right now?: I mean it's your typical weather in the Philippines in April. Approaching 40C, humid, uncomfortably and nearly painfully hot.

Do you like new music or older music?: I think it's a good mix.

Do you agree that abortion is wrong?: No.

If you could make a law, what would kind of law would you make?: I just wanted to get rid of e-bikes on highways but the government has already been on that so yay hahaha.

What was the last video game you played?: Mario Kart 8 on the Switch.

What is currently going on in the room you're in right now?: Apart from me taking this, noting.

Do you know where your best friend is?: I'm almost certain she is at home as it is still quite early.

Who was the last person to comment you on Facebook?: Angela, I think.

What is your display picture of on Facebook?: Me posing in front of the Impact Arena in Bangkok a few hours before Yoongi's concert.

Do you ever sit and think about the past?: Just occasionally.

If you could relive any moment in time: what would it be?: Let's go with a recent memory – Wrestlemania Sunday with 200 Cody-crazed fans watching the ref count to three.

Are you a talker or a listener?: Listener.

What is one food you will not eat?: Mango.

Do you eat anything now that you never used to eat?: Curry and wasabi.

Have you ever kissed the same sex?: Yes.

When does school start this year?: Haven't been in school since 2020.

What genre of music do you refuse to listen to?: Country. Which is why it's taking me forever to take on Cowboy Carter hahaha.

Do you ever shout for absolutely no reason?: I don't think so. If I scream it's always for a reason lol.

Have you stuck with your new years resolution?: I don't make em.

Do you need to lose any weight right now?: No. If anything I need to gain some. I was well under 100lbs at my last physical exam and the nurses also told me I had low blood pressure which had to do with my weight, so it might be healthiest to gain a few pounds.

What is something you want right now?: I wish I can just stay at home but alas I've been booked the last few days haha. Saturday - Work event Sunday morning - Wrestlemania Saturday Monday morning - Wrestlemania Sunday Tuesday - Miss Saigon Wednesday - Afternoon out with Bea and Kata Thursday & Friday - Work Saturday - Rest Sunday - Work event

Even then it's still kinda hard to be excited about Saturday because I know it's sandwiched between two busy days anyway.

Do you hate when you see teachers in stores?: I don't hate it but I also don't wish for it to happen.

What always puts a smile on your face?: My dogs.

Where can I find you on a Saturday night?: At home with a cup of coffee.

What is the best thing about Sundays?: The free time - for the most part, at least.

What is your music provider (itunes, windows media player): I just use Spotify.

How many songs do you have?: I don't download songs.

When was the last time you had a period?: Two weeks ago.

Why do you think the sky is blue?: Idk.

If you could change the sky to any color which would you choose?: I wouldn't change it. We get different colors already anyway.

Is there anything wrong with you right now?: I mean I'm running on 2 hours of sleep so I don't super particularly feel my best rn but I think I'll manage.

Do you hate when people stare at you?: It bothers me a little bit, yeah.

What always makes you angry, no matter what?: Toddlers throwing a tantrum.

[skeleton-in-a-hoodie]

I have had an angsty idea for GS2.

The first few days following the Wolf Hotel fight, Splinter postponed training to give everyone time to adjust (not just to him being a ghost, but to the idea that Shredder was dead). After that though, training continued. It didn't always go well, at least one session end in an argument, and others were cut short when Splinter noticed his body starting to melt.

After maybe the third time where he called off training when his hands began melting, Splinter sort of decided that he needed to get a hold of himself. Like it's messing with his kids routine, wasting their time, and they keep missing out on training. It's not fair on them. He essentially decides it doesn't matter if he's uncomfortable, the kids come first, grow up and hide your gross melting hands in your sleeves if you have to, you're 52 for heaven's sake, get a grip.

This goes about as well as you'd expect.

Especially when combined with him sparing with them again.

One day he's sparing with Leo, both of them weilding swords. Leo has his twin katana, and Splinter is using one of his own.

Splinter's focus is divided between the spar and keeping his body under control, which goes well. Right up until he asks Leo what is bothering him, because Splinter can tell something is on Leo's mind.

So now Leo is venting mid sword fight.

Still, under those circumstances it takes a surprising amount of time for something to inevitably go wrong.

Having something else to do other than argue helps, to some degree, and Leo finds venting this way to actually help. He's getting all the negative emotions out without dwelling on them, and Splinter can see that so he doesn't call off the spar.

Which he really should do, because as Leo talks Splinter's going to find it impossible to not get emotional himself, which means he's going to be focusing less on keeping his body solid. Leo in turn isn't pulling any punches verbally or with his sword, because he trusts himself and sensei to not hurt each other - he thinks if the spar gets dangerous, Splinter will put a stop to it.

But the spar has already become dangerous and Splinter isn't stopping it.

So they're both getting emotional and not paying attention as much as they should be. It's fighting without thinking, in the worst way possible. Splinter as the sensei should stop the spar and just sit down with Leo and talk.

But this is the first time in weeks he's been able to just talk to Leonardo! And it seems to be actually helping Leo! Like they're actaully working through stuff and discussing it!

And then the inevitable happens.

Something is said. I'm not sure what - maybe Leo says that it felt like Splinter didn't truely care about them, or brings up when his own father told him to sacrifice whoever necessary to stop the kraang, or that sometimes Leo wonders if they mattered less than Karai to Splinter.

Whatever it is, Splinter loses focus. His hands melt and give way and his sword slips.

Leo and Splinter have less than a second to register what happened before Leo's own sword clashes with Splinter's, knocking it away, and drives straight into Splinter's shoulder.

The noise Splinter makes is inhuman. Neither are sure if it counts as a scream or not, but it's ear splitting and within seconds Leo's brothers are in the dojo wanting to know what happened and then seeing the blade lodged deep in Splinter's shoulder.

The ink rapidly begins climbing up Splinter's arms, as well as coming out of his nose and mouth. He closes his eyes to hide the blue-green glow.

Donnie tries to get Splinter to say still. Splinter is trying to just pull the sword out and it looks painful. But as Donnie approaches, Splinter senses movement and he acts on instinct.

Splinter hisses at Donnie and snaps his jaws.

He doesn't bite Donnie, just wants whoever is moving towards him to stop and keep away, but the threat is there.

It reminds the four of when they returned to New York and Splinter had completely lost himself - it doesn't sound like their father.

And he barely looks like himself with the ink spreading so rapidly and his eyes turning into lights within empty sockets. Things aren't helped by something that looks like small inky tentacles sprouting along his back. They make Splinter look larger than he is, but also more monstrous.

Don backs away and Raph, who trusts Splinter not to hurt them, but is acting on instinct, gets between his brothers and father.

Splinter is aware enough to be horrified and once he finally pulls the sword free, he runs out of the Lair. He manages to get out of the Lair before he changes completely, and in the sewers his sons lose his inky footprints.

And two people who have been watching over them and have been dead for many years decide that this situation can't continue like this any longer.

#tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt au #ghost splinter 2 electric boogalo #leo and splinter end up taking two very different things from this

[gnattyplayssims]

1952 Pt2 - The Spice Festival

Ava was growing far too fast for Sofia to keep up and it was inevitable for her to miss some milestones. Before she knew it little Ava was rolling over.

"Stop growing up so fast Little Bird, I can't keep up." She chided when she came home one day to Ava sitting in her crib.

Most mornings Sofia would come home and get a few more hours of sleep with Ava cuddled against her but once Ava started sitting up sleep became a thing of the past.

"Mama!" Ava would babble poking her mom with her little hands and wiggling around the bed until Sofia got up.

One morning Ava was playing with her toys while Sofia got dressed. Ava tumbled over as she tried to reach. Sofia entered the room just as Ava pushed herself to all fours. "Ava! Look at you!" Her mother's reaction startled her and she plopped back onto her stomach

"Oh. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you. Good job, we'll try again later."

The door opened and her heart jumped until she saw it was only Nikolas. "Hey, you just about ready?"

"No. The nanny isn't here yet and I still need to shower. Would you watch Ava?"

"Uh...sure"

He noticed the omelets on the counter. "You cooked this morning?"

"Oh Celia made those last night. I forgot to put them in the fridge."

"You didn't eat them for breakfast did you?"

"I...won't now..."

"Good," He turned back toward them. "Dear Watcher. She's a mess."

Sofia smiled and handed Nik the jar. "I won't be long."

"Alright Ava, what do you say we try some of this cereal. You'll like these way more than that mush."

"NO!" Ava dumped the bowl of cereal on the floor.

Nik sighed, "Okay oatmeal it is. Sure hope your mom hurries."

By the time Sofia got out of the shower, Ava was a mess. "What did you do Nik?"

"Nothing! This child doesn't know how to keep anything in her mouth."

Sofia laughed, "I know! Oh she pushed herself up today."

She tried to show him but Ava was not having it. "Another day, Sof."

Celia finally showed up a little while later and the two made their way to the Spice Festival. The sights and smells were like nothing Sofia had ever experienced before.

"What's that?"

"A curry challenge to see if you can handle a little heat"

"Oh, I can handle heat."

They each took a plate and Nik took a bite without hesitation. He tried to keep a straight face but not even the Stoic Nikolas could hide the pain. He immediately broke into a sweat and Sofia laughed.

"Is it that bad?" She took a bite of her own. "Water! I need water!"

Sofia headed to the food stall to get a glass of water. "Sorry miss, no water without a purchase."

"But my mouth is literally on fire. You can't withhold water."

"Unless you're a plantsim, you don't need water to survive, so make a purchase or get out of my line."

Sofia felt a hand on her back. "Did you get the water, Dear."

"Are you her husband?"

"Uh yes. She was just getting free water."

"Free water with purchase. But she says she has no money."

"Of course not! I wouldn't let my wife carry the wallet. Here curry and somosas please."

"Thank you!"

"Of course. These vendors see a cute young lady and think they can get away with robbery"

"But you still paid him"

The man shrugged, "It was worth it."

Sofia took a big bite and instantly regretted it. "Maybe some smaller bites until you're used to the flavor"

Soon Sofia lost all track of the time. "That book sounds amazing!" Jamal handed her another plate "Here try these. They're just a little spicer but have a sweet undertone you'll love."

She took a bite and a smile lit up her face. "You have to put these ones in your restaurant!"

He took her empty plate and returned it to the vendor. Suddenly the air was electric. "I...guess I should get back. Nikolas is probably wondering where I am."

"Ah. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were here with someone."

"Oh! I'm not really. Nik is just a really good friend."

He took a step forward and she instinctively took a step back. "He probably didn't even realize I'm gone. There was this girl making faces at him when we came in any bets he's with her."

Jamal laughed, "Ah. Lucky man."

"I had a really good time talking with you."

"Me too."

Sofia looked over her shoulder, scanning for Nik. "I guess...maybe I could wait for him to find me. I don't really want to wander alone."

"That's probably a good idea." His voice was closer and she whirled back around as he lifted his hand to her face. "I'll stay with you

Her eyes widened in fear as he brushed the hair from her face. "Sorry, there was something in your hair." But his hand didn't leave.

"Please don't touch my face."

He dropped his hand back to his side. "I'm sorry. I felt a connection. I thought you did too."

"I do...I just..."

"It's okay, Sofia. You don't have to explain. I overstepped." He took her hand, brushing his thumb over the butterfly ring. "Maybe next time I see you, you can tell me some more."

"Next time?"

"If you'll allow it."

"I think...I'd like that...but I have a daughter."

He paused for a moment. "I guess that's another story you'll have to tell me." He placed his hand on her shoulder and leaned in brushing his lips ever so gently against her cheek. "If you're ever in Mirage Canyon come visit the restaurant."

"O-o-okay. I will."

"Sofia! Sofia!" Nik's voice finally broke her free of the spicy haze surrounding them.

"I should go."

Jamal nodded. "Okay I'll see you again."

"You will." She turned away, trying her hardest to contain her excitement. Jamal watched her until she was safely with Nikolas.

1953 Pt1 - A Flower in the Desert

#mizrahi legacy #dandy generation #decades challenge #sims 4 storytelling #ts4 storytelling #ts4 legacy

[nvvermore]

I'm With You

Hiding out from the guards, Amaryllis and Julian spend a night together

[part eight of Come What May]

words: 2.8k

cw: mentions of injury and death

NSFW 🍋: they be fucking

accompaniment

-☽☼☾-

“Ah ah ah. Careful, Amaryllis. There's poison in these petals.”

Amaryllis snatches the luminous flower from Julian's grasp.

“You think I wouldn't know that?” they snap back, and for a moment, he looks just a little dejected. “Deadly starstrand. It’s perfectly safe to the touch. It needs to be distilled to have any ill effect.” He just stares at them.

“Well, I, uh. There goes the clever metaphor I had lined up.” he mutters awkwardly.

“Julian.” His gaze snaps up from the flower in their grasp. “You don't need to come up with ‘clever metaphors’ to speak with me. I’d prefer it if you'd simply state how you feel.”

“How about how you feel, then?” he counters.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You kissed me yesterday— quite passionately, might I add— what was that supposed to mean?”

“I—“ Conveniently, the sudden sound of armored footsteps nearby interrupts Amaryllis’s chance to respond. “The guards, quiet.”

Julian clearly doesn't get the message, because he continues speaking at normal volume. “No, I want to know—“

“Quiet!” they hiss, and when he opens his mouth yet again, they clamp a hand over it, backing him up against the crumbling wall behind him. The footsteps grow closer, and Amaryllis can now make out the voices of the patrol. And yet, Julian still tries to get another word in.

“Would you stop!” Instead of waiting for Julian's inevitable answer, Amaryllis decides on a different tactic to keep him quiet. They take the hand that’s over his mouth to bury it into his curls and tug, leaning in to capture his lips and muffle the surprised sound he makes. He seems to finally admit defeat then, bringing his gloved hands to cradle their jaw on either side. His kiss is desperate this time, immediately opening up for them to slip their tongue against his. They pull harder on his hair, swallowing his moans. They keep an ear out for the guards, listening as they hear the voices and footsteps grow closer, and then finally start to fade away.

Once Amaryllis is certain the patrol has moved on, they back Julian harder against the wall, with their body this time. He gasps as their hand that isn't buried into his curls wanders up his side, lightly brushing against the wound he'd taken from them. He shivers, and they linger there, applying more pressure as they bite his lip.

“Amaryllis,” he gasps against their lips, “I—“

“What do you want, Julian?”

“You. Please.”

“You have me.”

Amaryllis feels him struggle to pull back from their hold.

“Perhaps…” he starts, breathless, “we should get out of here, while we still can.”

“Lead the way.”

-☽☼☾-

Amaryllis is on the beach again.

They're out-of-body, watching their typical vision of the man weeping over their dead body, the blood on his hands spreading to them as he brushes their hair out of their face, straightens their skirt, holds their hands in his.

The dream is the same as it always is, until suddenly, they're back in their own body. Their eyes flutter open, landing on the sullen face of the man who's been mourning them all these years.

Julian.

-☽☼☾-

“Amaryllis!”

Hitting the floor is what wakes them. Amaryllis already had doubts about how well the twin-sized bed would fit both Julian and themself when they first laid down, and it seems they should have followed their gut.

Julian follows them down to the floor, crowding them, hands on their shoulders. “Are you alright?”

It’s all too much like their dreams all at once.

“I’m fine.” They push him away, still coming out of the daze of sleep and the revelation of their dream. Their eyes dart around the unlit room, adjusting to the dark, until they finally catch Julian’s eye. He's kneeled next to their sprawled-out form, sorrow dragging down his features. Amaryllis takes his hand this time. They pretend not to know why. “I apologize. I had a nightmare.”

“You… you were crying out, my name.” he mutters.

“That— I didn't mean to wake you.” Amaryllis turns to face him. “I get nightmares, more often than not, when I sleep. Typically, I put off resting as much as I possibly can. That soup must be quite potent if it knocked me out from just a few of your kisses earlier.”

“That isn't good for you, you know.”

“Thank you doctor. Perhaps you should take your own advice.”

It’s quiet in the cottage. Mazelinka went to bed before the two of them did, down in the ‘hidey hole’, and hopefully their outburst hadn’t disturbed her too. It was lovely to see her earlier, Amaryllis had no idea that all this time they’d been going to her for a remedy for Ophélie’s condition that she was related to the city’s most wanted. Or how the woman never made any indication that they might have known each other from before Amaryllis can even remember.

Amaryllis’s eyes have adjusted to the dark just fine, but they assume it must be harder for Julian with only one. They lift a hand, flicking their index finger up as if they were striking a match, summoning a small flame at the end of their nail. It turns their stomach, but it’s safe, and they aren't aware enough of their surroundings to light a nearby candle from this far.

“That’s a neat trick. It suits you.” Julian whispers.

“Let's not forget about yours.” They reach out with the hand that isn't holding the flame to run their nails across his neck. Amaryllis feels him shiver. “I wouldn't have forgiven that eel if he'd taken a permanent chuck out of my tattoo.”

“You likely wouldn't have survived to see it.”

“You underestimate me.”

“I've treated many bites like that. We're the first to survive.”

Amaryllis drags the hand and his neck down from his shoulders to his waist, where he'd taken the bite from the vampire eel away from them earlier in the night. “How are you doing?”

“I’m alright now, a bit of rest was the last thing I needed to recover.”

“It’s quite an incredible power, really.” It's meant as a compliment of sorts, but Julian just grimaces.

“Well you can thank Asra for me then.” he says sarcastically.

“I know there’s some sort of animosity between the two of you— I can hardly blame you— but Asra didn't do that to you.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I know what his magic feels like. Better than my own. When you healed me, it didn't feel like him.” Julian hums, eyes back on the ground and he contemplates what they just told him. “Besides, if he could pull a trick like that, I’d have a new reason to be mad at him. I can’t heal for the life of me, and he hasn't been able to teach me.”

“With your magic?”

“No. I've tried at it for as long as I can remember, and even longer than that I assume. Asra is confident I’ll catch on one day, but I just assume it’s not in my nature.”

“I’m sure you’ll get it, learning how to heal people takes a lot of time and practice. I should know.”

“I don't know. I think all I’m good for is staving off the inevitable.” Julian’s brow furrows, looking at them like he’s waiting for an explanation. “The best I can do is compose songs that assist with symptom management. Asra gets chest pains, Ophélie is prone to fainting, and Vesper—my brother, has a lot of anxieties. I’ve written something to help each of them on bad days. But it’s just a mask for their ailments, I can't fix what's happening to them.”

“Amaryllis, ‘the best you can do’? Please, that’s amazing. I’m not a fan of magic, but I have to say. Not even the medicines we have can manage to do that, nevermind the side effects of some of them.”

Amaryllis can feel their face heating up, hoping that the low lighting won't make it so obvious. They’re used to praise, the expect it even, but something about Julian’s genuine amazement at their talent in a subject he doesn't typically appreciate has them at a loss for words.

They’re caught up in their own thoughts when they feel a faint touch on the scarred side of their face. They flinch before they realize it's just Julian’s hand. He seems to take that as a rejection and starts to pull away, but Amaryllis catches his hand, placing it back on their cheek.

“I’m sorry. I have limited sensation on this side. Sometimes when touched it can feel a little odd and it takes me by surprise.”

His thumb brushes ever so carefully over the length of their scar. “How did it happen?”

“I don't know.” They know they don't need to give him an explanation as to why. “I think it’s pretty neat though. Makes me look far more intimidating than I actually am.” They nod towards the eyepatch. “What about you?”

“Oh, this old thing? Occupational hazard. I still have an eye, it’s just not very pretty to look at. And my vision in it is very poor, so it’s much easier to just wear the patch. Mazelinka got it for me, years ago. And besides, it’s a very dramatic look.” Julian explains.

“Very dramatic. It works well for you.” Amaryllis laughs when Julian starts giggling, unable to hold it back. “What a pair we are.”

“A pair? Are we?” His question is loaded.

“It seems so.”

Amaryllis waits for Julian to kiss them this time, letting the flame at their fingertip fade out so they can pull him closer. It’s sweet, how gently, almost reverently, he holds them. He leans backwards against the bed frame, going from kneeling to sprawling his long legs out in front of him, and Amaryllis follows, straddling him. His hands tug at the back of nightshirt he’d so graciously let them borrow, theirs finding a place tangled in his curls.

They bite at his bottom lip and he moans, quietly, but Amaryllis isn't going to take any chances. With a quick wave of their hand, a silencing spell is cast on the two of them.

Julian’s hands finally slip under the nightshirt to caress their bare skin. They lean into him further, making proper contact where their hips meet his and he shudders. Hesitantly, Amaryllis breaks the kiss and he moves to follow, but a manicured hand on his shoulder keeps him in place.

“Julian,” they purr, “you’re so wound up when all I’ve done is kiss you.” They still, wanting to simply observe him for a moment. To take in how his blouse hangs off his shoulders, revealing how flushed pink his skin has become. His gaze staring them down, lidded and hazy, and how it shifts when they grind down on his lap. Generally, Amaryllis thinks he’s a beautiful man, but like this, under their spell, he’s ethereal.

Without warning, Julian’s head is yanked back by his curls, giving Amaryllis full access to his pale neck. He opens his mouth to speak but the only sound that comes out is a moan as Amaryllis places a soft kiss on his pulse point.

“Ohhhhhh, you can bite, suck, anything, I don’t min- I love it. Please.” he begs, and Amaryllis can’t help but to oblige him. They press sloppy kisses to his skin, sucking and biting and leaving behind wine-colored marks from their lipstick as he pants and pleads above them. It seems that no matter the situation, if his mouth isn’t occupied, he talks. It spurs Amaryllis on, longing to make his babbling more and more incoherent as they go on.

Perfectly in time with the movement of their hips, Amaryllis bites into his neck, hard, right as they make contact with his cock. They linger, dragging over slower and firmer than they have been. And Julian whines, he whines and his nails dig into their back and drag down.

Their lips find his again and his hands move down to their ass, grabbing on and prompting them to move faster.

“Amaryllis—ah, yes..."

The way he says their name feels so hauntingly familiar, like they’ve heard him gasp it that same way a thousand times before. They feel like they instinctively know exactly where and how to touch him— It’s almost bizarre. There’s a longing in the back of Amaryllis’s mind, the illogical hope that a headache claims them. Some sort of sign, or confirmation, that there’s much more to who Julian is to them than they remember. That they've been here with him, like this, before.

Fingers slip back under Julian’s untucked shirt, pushing it the rest of the way off his shoulders. They had been intending to leave marks all over his pale skin, but his curse must have already remedied any that they've made, leaving only traces of smudged lipstick behind.

Amaryllis sits back up straight, making a show of riding his hips and breaking the frantic rhythm he had set for a slower pace. They watch him as they move, hungry for any reaction from him. He looks dazed and needy, gazing up at them with a similar intensity and his bottom lip between his teeth. With him looking at them like that, they reach up to undo the few buttons holding the nightshirt together, letting the fabric slip off their shoulders to reveal nothing underneath.

“You, erm, weren’t wearing anything else, this whole time?” Julian asks, his voice a shaky whisper.

“Typically, this is all I would wear.” They reach for his trousers, fingers hovering at the button. “Now, let's even things out, shall we?”

When their fingers make contact with his cock, brushing over the head, circling around his length, Julian bucks into their touch. With a whine, he recaptures their lips sloppily and Amaryllis is eager to devour every noise he makes.

“Good boy, that’s it.”

He reacts deliciously to the praise, bringing his face down to Amaryllis’s neck. In between Julian’s pants and kisses, he murmurs little praises and pleas into their skin. It’s all mostly swearing or incoherent, and then Amaryllis realizes he isn’t even speaking Vesuvian. That’s definitely not endearing whatsoever.

“Tell me what you need, Julian.”

“You, please…”

“‘Me’, what?”

“Fuck me, please, fuck me.”

His trousers are pulled the rest of the way down, and Amaryllis hovers over him once more. They’ve wanted this for longer than they’re willing to admit. They grind over him a few more times, skin on skin. One more grind, and they angle their hips just so, having no issue with his cock sliding in with how wound up they are.

Amaryllis finally lets a moan slip, unable to resist as Julian's cock manages to brush against them in all the right places.

“Oh darling, you feel so good, you're so good—“ They silence him with a kiss, bringing their hips up and down as they ride him faster. His touch wanders across their skin, one hand pinching at their nipple, giving a small tug to the bar pierced through it. The other he brings between them, his long fingers finding their clit to stroke in circles against it.

Julian groans in frustration, pulling away to look at Amaryllis with a pleading eye. “I-I’m not going to last.” he pants.

“Then don’t.”

It doesn’t take much more to make him come, and when he does it’s with his loudest, most shameless moan yet, broken pleas of appreciation whimpered in between kisses. He doesn't let up his attention on them, even through his orgasm, and Amaryllis’s follows him soon after with a silent cry.

His arms wrap around Amaryllis’s neck, fingers lacing through their hair gently, conscious of their comfort even now. It's sweet. As he comes down from his high his wrist slows, and Amaryllis cups his jaw to bring him in for another kiss.

Suddenly, it’s a much different kiss from the ones they had been sharing previously. This was languid and relaxed. Warm, but not hot. So distinctly intimate, and instead of pulling away like Amaryllis always does when things start to so much as hint in this direction, they relax further into him, kissing him with a kind of affection they weren’t ready to confront in the slightest.

For a moment he just rests his forehead against theirs, still grinning. His eye flutters closed and his lashes graze against Amaryllis’s cheek, and they wonder what it’d be like if Julian gave them butterfly kisses on purpose. It’s far too sentimental of a fantasy for them.

“How I’d love to make something real with you…” he mumbles, and then his expression drops. “If only we had more time.” Amaryllis grips his chin, bringing his face back up to theirs.

“What are you saying?” they question.

“Ah, Amaryllis, don't mind me. Just rambling. Thanks to you, I think my exhaustion is creeping back up on me.”

“Then, why don't we get you back into bed.”

“Only if you’ll join me.”

#amaryllis leroux #julian devorak #amieilya #the arcana #apprentice amaryllis #fan apprentice #my fic #🍋

[heretyc]

incorrect quotes, outlast edition

Y/N: This is such a bad idea. Miles: Then why are you coming along? Y/N: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

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Miles: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment! Trager: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

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Y/N: *Stubs their toe* FUCK! Waylon: Mind your language! Y/N: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Waylon: Y/N: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

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Y/N: You saved me. I owe you my life. Blake: No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.

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Y/N: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? Trager: You mean literally or figuratively? Y/N: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

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Trager: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

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Chris: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm fucking pissed.

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Eddie: Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

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Eddie: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve. Y/N: I think you mean cards. Eddie, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

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Walrider: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

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Trager: I'm a reverse necromancer. Jeremy: Isn't that just killing people? Trager: Ah, technicality.

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Blake: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut... Lynn: You would eat yourself? Blake: I wouldn’t even question it.

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Knoth: What did you do with Marta's body? Val: What didn’t I do with the body? Knoth: Val: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.

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Knoth: You're right. Val: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

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Marta: God, give me patience. Val: I think you mean 'give me strength'. Marta: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

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Y/N: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you. Val: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Y/N: Absolutely not.

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Y/N: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet. Val: Marta: Knoth: Everyone Else At Y/N’s Surprise Birthday Party: Val: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

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Lynn, trying to ask Blake out: Would you like to stay for dinner? Val: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

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Y/N: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology. Val, amazed: Wow... Eddie, to Val: Well what does that mean? Val: I don't know. Val, to Y/N: What does that mean?

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Jessica: We need to get through this locked door. Lynn, give me your credit card. Lynn: Here. Jessica, pocketing it: Thanks. Blake, kick down the door.

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Jeremy: If you had to choose between Y/N and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose? Trager: That depends, how much money are we talking about? Y/N: Trager! Jeremy: 63 cents. Trager: I'll take the money. Y/N: TRAGER!!!

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Frank: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

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Marta: Favorite horror movie? Val: It Knoth: Saw Nick: Annabelle Laird: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

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Heretic: So what’s for dinner? Val, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

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Miles: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions? Waylon: Put spaghetti in it. Miles: I'm currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you. Jeremy: Put spaghetti in it. Miles: I'm currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two. Trager: Put spaghetti in it. Miles: I'm no longer taking suggestions.

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Eddie: I am not out of control! I'm a law-abiding citizen! Waylon: Really? Name one law Eddie: Don't kill people? Waylon: That's on me. I set the bar too low.

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Knoth: *Walking into a room* Sorry I’m late... I was... doing things. *Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder* Val: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

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Blake: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean? Val: It means I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. Blake: but what’s the first worst thing? *Awkward pause* Val: Blake, they...they weren’t always orphans. Blake:

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Lynn: Must be hard not being able to laugh Val: I do have a sense of humor you know Lynn: I’ve never heard you laugh before Val: I’ve never heard you say anything funny

#THE FACT THAT A LOT OF THESE FIT THE CHARACTERS.... #SPOOKY #so basically: #val wants u to sleep and eat but then again they burnt ur fucking food so #TAKE OUT TIME !!!!!!! #i want a show where trager and jeremy are two golf fanatics high on weed #PLEASE RED BARRELS #outlast #jessica taking lynns wallet is revenge from the grave #THE ORPHANS ONE...OUCH VAL

[lemon-inferno]

Reborn Rich episode 15 ✔️

I KNOW I said that I wasn't gonna post about episode 15 separately, but I couldn't help myself after watching it. Mostly because of the ending.

So this is a bit of a brain fuck, but let's attempt to put it in words starting with Hyun Woo's perspective. Hyun Woo kills Do Jun. But as Do Jun said, everything that happened in his past (Hyun Woo) life, will undoubtedly happen again. You can't change the outcome in the end. That means that even if Hyun Woo kills Do Jun, in any universe/life, he will undoubtedly reach the point where he gets killed and is reborn as Do Jun again. Which means that this will keep happening, because the show has not introduced a version of events where the outcome can be influenced and changed (yet, it may happen in the next episode, I think it will anyways). So if we run with the theory that you cannot change the outcome, it means Hyun Woo and Do Jun are stuck in a loop where Hyun Woo constantly kills Do Jun, who is actually Hyun Woo from the previous loop and bears all his memories. WHICH LEADS TO THE QUESTION: Who was first, the chicken or the egg? Obviously there is no Do Jun, if this loop keeps happening we can't really assume it had a strat or that it will have an end. So did Do Jun really exist born AS Do Jun himself and not carrying someone else's memories?

Of course, this theory falls through if in the next episode Do Jun manages to change the outcome and survive (again, I feel like this is a very likely scenario because otherwise it makes no sense that they are stuck in a loop, because it's really only one person then). However, the sole reason Do Jun started this journey to take over Soonyang was to take revenge for Hyun Woo's death. But we saw Do Jun, after having taken over Soonyang, having doubts about what his real goal was by the time he took over. His mind and heart were moved by his grandfather and in the end, I belive, the path he walked was for his grandfather.

I only wish we saw more of Do Jun's parents in this show though. I wish they showed us how growing up with a different family and growing to love them had an effect on him too. We can see tiny bits here and there, and we can see that Do Jun sincerely loves them. I do understand that from the moment he woke up in the car with them he already had the mind of a 40yo, but still, he spent another lifetime with them. It would've had an impact on him, an important one imo, and I wish we could've seen it. But anyways.

Yeah, the Hyun Woo kills Do Jun bit is very wacky. I lowkey wish Do Jun doesn't survive so the loop can reset. Or rather, I want to see if it will, because if Do Jun dies again it should natrually reset. I'm interested in that. Probably more so than a happy ending where Do Jun surivives and lives the rest of his days peacefully. I just think the loop is a very interesting material to work with. Imagine if they did reset it and in a fictional season 2 Do Jun and Hyun Woo meet earlier and Do Jun tries to convince Hyun Woo that's it's actually... well him. And they work together to stop the loop and change their inevitable fate. How cool would that be?

That being said, I don't think it will happen. I just like to imagine it.

Anyways, that's all I have from this episode. Well, there is more, but I don't want to break my word. I want to keep it for the last post after I've seen episode 16.

Honestly though, Hyun Woo and Do Jun working together in a time loop. Double the Joong Ki.

#reborn rich #the youngest son of a conglomerate #kdrama #kdrama talk #kdrama thoughts #korean drama #song joong ki #reborn remon