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#greeneyedgoldenchild
saturncodedstarlette · 2 months
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Y/N : If I die right now, would you cry?
Human!Alastor, chopping woods : Nope.
Y/N, disappointed but not surprised : Oh.
Human!Alastor : I would simply burn the world to the ground, and from its ashes I would build statues of you, so all of the survivors would know who I’m mourning, what beautiful creature the world lost—
Human!Alastor, boops their nose : Then I’d cry :)
Y/N : . . .remind me not to die.
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Theo: "You love me right? Full blown 'Dirty Dancing' 'Pride and Prejudice' love, right?"
Liam: "Yes!... wait, why are you asking?"
*Cop sirens in distance*
Theo: "No reason, just remember that in court."
Liam: "What the fuck did you do."
(source)
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Riven: God, you wanna fuck me so bad it must hurt, huh?
Musa: i'm gonna fuck you so bad it'll hurt
Riven, stunned: i don't think that came out the way you meant it, but yes please and thank you
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Person A: “I think someone is watching me...”
Person B: “They probably are, I mean, look at you, a fucking walking wet dream.”
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iamshannonmcfarland · 3 years
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Eliott: * bring home another stray cat*
Lucas: I won’t tolerate this kind of behavior. There is nothing you could say that will change my mind and- 
Eliott getting lost in his eyes: You’re so pretty, god, the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen.
Lucas, practically melting: Ok, you’re off the hook.
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vixiak · 2 years
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@greeneyedgoldenchild thank you so much for idea! :D
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saturncodedstarlette · 2 months
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Y/N, trying to be sweet : I think a lot about you, Adam :>
Adam, shrugs : I don’t think about you that much—
Y/N : Oh..
Adam : —just when I’m dreaming, and you’re usually naked, and GOD, you’re all flushed and pretty and I’ve got my fingers—
Y/N : Ok ok, I was trying to be sweet but NO, we’re not doing this in the middle of a meeting!
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Y/N : Fuck me if I’m right, but does chocolate milk from brown cows?
Alejandro, zero hesitation : You’re right.
Y/N : Really?
Alejandro, throws them over his shoulder : A thousand times yes, now let’s go find a bed.
Y/N : We don’t need a bed
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Captain Price, gently caresses their face with so much affection :
Captain Price : I love you, and if anyone touches you I’ll kill them.
Y/N, lays on his chest : Aw, that’s sweet, but you don’t really mean ki—
Captain Price, grabs their chin to look at him :
Captain Price : I will decimate them, wipe their souls from existence, crush their beating hearts into dust, snap their spines into straws to slurp up their wails of pain, I will disintegrate them, I will dissolve them until they rot in a puddle of useless ooze.
Y/N : . . .
Y/N, lowkey turned on :
Y/N : I’m scared, but also oddly touched.
Captain Price, just kisses their forehead : 😚💋
Bonus
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Y/N : I’m gonna get a tattoo.
Captain Price, reading the newspaper : You will not be getting a t—
Y/N : ——A tattoo of your name, I want it on my [REDACTED].
Captain Price, inhales :
Captain Price : I’ll pay for it.
Captain Price, rushes to get his coat & car key :
Y/N, is spoiled & knows it : 😏
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Gaz, cradling your face in his hands : Don’t forget me. Please, that’s all I ask of you.
Y/N, trying to process this cataclysm that just dawn upon them both :
Y/N, desperately holding onto him, not wanting to release their grips :
Y/N : I could never, not if my soul perished into the stars, not if Apollo burnt your name from the sky, not if Zeus ran a lighting bolt straight into my temple— I will never forget you.
Captain Price, watches them afar whilst sipping tea : Bloody hell you muppets, Gaz is just going to the supermarket to pick up some canned beans and tea bags.
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Vash, in his self-deprecating episodes : I’m no good for you, all I ever do is ruin things, you should just get rid of me, I’m nothing but a stupid, ugly, monster who has hurt others—
Y/N, had enough of his rant & grabs him by his throat to their face :
Y/N : I’m not a violent person by nature, but if you don’t shut the f⚡️⚡️k up I will strangle you to death with my undying love.
Vash, stunned into silence as they’re usually sweet & soft : . . .
Y/N, releases him then clapping their hands : Now, what do you want for dinner? I’m thinking sushi. ☺️
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Y/N, looks at Keegan who’s laying on their stomach : Babe?
Keegan, lifts his gorgeous eyes to look at them : Hm?
Y/N : Say something sexy. 🥺
Keegan, smirks lazily : “Something sexy.”
Y/N, pouts : Come on, don’t be such a——
Keegan, suddenly pulls them down :
Keegan, towers himself on top of them :
Keegan : I want to devour you, lick and bite every gorgeous inch of you, and then when you’re spent, when you can’t handle the teasing anymore, I’ll wring one more pretty, needy, crescendo out of you’re exhausted body.
Y/N, not sure if still alive or just paralysed : . . .
Keegan, raise an eyebrow : Sexy enough?
Y/N, out of breaths : ……Too sexy.
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Y/N, frustrated from everything : . . .
Y/N, : God, I’m so fucking annoyed—
Philip Graves, appears out of nowhere : I’ll kill them.
Y/N, knows that he will do it : No, sweetie it’s——
Philip Graves, lays them on top of him :
Philip Graves, nuzzles his head against their chest : I’ll murder them in cold blood.
Y/N, weirdly turned on : 😳
Y/N : Nevermind let’s just make out——
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Y/N, sees Velikan is unmasked & eating :
Y/N, slides next to him with a seductive smile : Hey sweet thing, what that mouth do? 😏
Velikan, stops eating then slowly turns :
Velikan : That mouth doesn’t do anything for you—
Velikan, swiftly pulls your face close to him : —but that mouth does belong to me.
[A fellow shadow soldier sprints away, avoiding eye-contact]
Y/N, looks at Velikan with wide eyes whilst flushed : 😳
Y/N, internally : 🗯I’m terrified about how turned on I am right now🗯
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Y/N, groans : I don’t get why everyone is so crazy about you. You’re just charming and attractive and funny and kind and smart and brave and have the most beautiful smile on planet earth——
Gojo Satoru, stands there : 🤭
Y/N : . . .——f🦄🦄k, I get it.
Gojo Satoru, teleports in front of them : Oh thank god you finally get it!
Gojo Satoru, bats his pretty eyelashes : Can we kiss now? 🥺
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