Hermes is the god of roller skating. I do not take constructive criticism.
His winged shoes are like sky-skates. Wheeled shoes are skate-skates.
Roller skating is fast! He’s a speed and messenger deity!
His ties to athletics and wrestling. Skating is a sport, roller derby is a contact sport!
Skating is as close as you can get to running with wings on your feet as a mortal.
It’s efficient travel! Less energy to go the same distance and faster!
Does he not seem like a roller skating dude?
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"greek-Bros": Latest Pet Craze
Zeus: *minding his business as he's finally build an actual ship in a bottle and is admiring it*
Poseidon: *kicks in the door and operatically shouts* I'VE DONE IT, I'VE MADE THE PERFECT PET!
Zeus: *the reverberation of Poseidon's scream shatters the bottle and the ship shatters pretty much like glass, takes a deep breath and accepts the situation. Bluntly turning around and looks at Poseidon*... Poseidon I swear on our grandmother, I will shove you and your whole kingdom in a bottle if what you have there is a terrible idea.
Poseidon: How could it?! It shall be the greatest pet in the mortal world once I'm able to make a fresh water variant of it.
Zeus: Excuse me?
Poseidon: BEHOLD! *Gently takes out an isopod*
Isopod: *unovingly just slowly moves it's legs around, staring blankly into Zeus's soul*
Zeus: ........well how do you want it Poseidon, would you and your entire kingdom like to be shrunken first or should I just shove you into an uncomfortably small bottle myself?
Poseidon: ah ah ah my brother, it's the perfect pet! The wholesome family companion of the future, see how it's sturdy carapace keeps it from getting hurt! It comes in a universally acceptable shade of ivory and it purely survives on your family's leftovers.
Isopod: *still just does nothing*
Zeus: ....may I ask...who is the target audience for this.... thing?.....I mean, let's logically think about it, some mortals like small, cuddly animals, some like larger more useful beasts and I'm pretty certain this creature doesn't fall under....well....any category.
Poseidon: Ha! I shall show you, through an individual who's tastes are the best representation of a Target audience and who best represents the acquired tastes of the masses. *Hasn't found anyone*
Ares: *comes in through the destroyed door* Hey dad your door is fucked. Hephaestus should fix this.
Poseidon: Ah, perfect timing my dear boy.
Zeus: Poseidon what are you doing?
Ares: *worried he's going to get in trouble for no reason again* ....dad says I'm not allowed to make any military deals with you.
Poseidon: Nonsense child, I'm here to give a new pet!
Poseidon: *hands Ares the isopod*
Ares: *looks at the isopod as if someone just gave him the world's most fragile human baby* ..............................
Zeus: .....so....what do you think?
Ares: .....I gonna go and put this giant aesthetically pleasing cockroach in Athena's bed. :D thanks uncle Poseidon. *Straight up leaves to do just that*
Poseidon: You see, he loved it!
Zeus: He called it an aesthetically pleasing cockroach.
Poseidon: I don't care at least he's having f-
*suddenly Athena's loud screams and yelling could be heard along with Ares hysterically laughing*
Zeus: ......... E-
Poseidon: Do be quiet dear brother.