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#greek gods memes
koraki-pharmakis · 2 hours ago
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Hermes is the god of roller skating. I do not take constructive criticism.
Proof:
His winged shoes are like sky-skates. Wheeled shoes are skate-skates.
Roller skating is fast! He’s a speed and messenger deity!
His ties to athletics and wrestling. Skating is a sport, roller derby is a contact sport!
Skating is as close as you can get to running with wings on your feet as a mortal.
It’s efficient travel! Less energy to go the same distance and faster!
Does he not seem like a roller skating dude?
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bambismoonlight · 3 hours ago
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Zeus: My father was an insufferable tyrant who never loved me.
Ares: It okay, mine’s the same way.
Zeus:
Ares:
Zeus: You’re a real dick, aren’t you?
Ares: I wonder where I get it from.
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aidoneus-is-that-you · 4 hours ago
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Persephone, jokingly: Now that we are working together... You aren’t allowed to fall in love with me
Hades: Won’t be a problem
*Later that night*
Hades, to Cerberus: THERE’S A PROBLEM
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aidoneus-is-that-you · 4 hours ago
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Hestia: Why is this cookie spicy? It’s also... raw in the middle. If I had to rate this I’d give it a 3-
Athena: I made it myself
Hestia: -out of 3 points
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aidoneus-is-that-you · 4 hours ago
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Zeus: Come on, let’s not forget who pulled you out of that river yesterday.
Hades: Let’s not forget who PUSHED ME IN!
Zeus:
Zeus: So, as I was saying.
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aidoneus-is-that-you · 4 hours ago
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Dionysus: Hermes is missing!
Apollo: What am I supposed to do about it? Do you think I have him microchipped in case he gets lost or something?
Dionysus: Well, do you?
Apollo: Of course I do. Hang on.
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aidoneus-is-that-you · 4 hours ago
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Minthe, angrily: You read my messages, but you didn’t reply?! Hades: First of all, I didn’t mean to read it.
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aidoneus-is-that-you · 4 hours ago
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Hermes: Who are you kissing this New Years?
Dionysus, holding a glass of wine: The floor when I black out
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aidoneus-is-that-you · 4 hours ago
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Hades: Do you know what it’s like? To be afraid of yourself?
Poseidon, remembering the time he ate 4 family sized bags of Doritos in one sitting: Yeah
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aidoneus-is-that-you · 4 hours ago
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Athena: What do you want to do now? We have a bit of time to kill.
Ares: Alright, do you have and particular targets in mind or should we just freestyle it?
Athena: What?
Ares: What?
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aidoneus-is-that-you · 4 hours ago
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Persephone: If I have to clean one more blood stain from this carpet, I’m going to kill someone!
Hades: Sounds a little counterproductive, my love.
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aidoneus-is-that-you · 4 hours ago
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*Ares is unconscious*
Aphrodite: Oh gods, he isn’t breathing!
*Ares opens his eyes*
Aphrodite, not paying attention: Looks like I’m going to have to give him mouth to mouth!
*Ares closes his eyes*
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thanatoastie · 4 hours ago
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Remember to repeat your daily mantras!
Ares is not evil
Ares is not evil
Ares is not evil
Hades is not evil
Hades is not evil
Hades is not evil
Zeus sucks
Zeus sucks
Zeus sucks
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bambismoonlight · 5 hours ago
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Athena: Drinking isn’t going to solve your problems. They’ll still be there tomorrow.
Dionysus: And I’ll deal with them tomorrow. I ain’t going to be able to solve anything tonight.
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thispersonisafangirl · 12 hours ago
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Zeus: * cheats on hera with multiple women *
Ixion: hey,your so pretty.
Hera: thank yo-
zeus: GET AWAY FROM HER YOU ASSHOLE.
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talesfromkirigakure · 20 hours ago
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"greek-Bros": Latest Pet Craze
Zeus: *minding his business as he's finally build an actual ship in a bottle and is admiring it*
Poseidon: *kicks in the door and operatically shouts* I'VE DONE IT, I'VE MADE THE PERFECT PET!
Zeus: *the reverberation of Poseidon's scream shatters the bottle and the ship shatters pretty much like glass, takes a deep breath and accepts the situation. Bluntly turning around and looks at Poseidon*... Poseidon I swear on our grandmother, I will shove you and your whole kingdom in a bottle if what you have there is a terrible idea.
Poseidon: How could it?! It shall be the greatest pet in the mortal world once I'm able to make a fresh water variant of it.
Zeus: Excuse me?
Poseidon: BEHOLD! *Gently takes out an isopod*
Isopod: *unovingly just slowly moves it's legs around, staring blankly into Zeus's soul*
Zeus: ........well how do you want it Poseidon, would you and your entire kingdom like to be shrunken first or should I just shove you into an uncomfortably small bottle myself?
Poseidon: ah ah ah my brother, it's the perfect pet! The wholesome family companion of the future, see how it's sturdy carapace keeps it from getting hurt! It comes in a universally acceptable shade of ivory and it purely survives on your family's leftovers.
Isopod: *still just does nothing*
Zeus: ....may I ask...who is the target audience for this.... thing?.....I mean, let's logically think about it, some mortals like small, cuddly animals, some like larger more useful beasts and I'm pretty certain this creature doesn't fall under....well....any category.
Poseidon: Ha! I shall show you, through an individual who's tastes are the best representation of a Target audience and who best represents the acquired tastes of the masses. *Hasn't found anyone*
Ares: *comes in through the destroyed door* Hey dad your door is fucked. Hephaestus should fix this.
Poseidon: Ah, perfect timing my dear boy.
Zeus: Poseidon what are you doing?
Ares: *worried he's going to get in trouble for no reason again* ....dad says I'm not allowed to make any military deals with you.
Poseidon: Nonsense child, I'm here to give a new pet!
Ares: wuh?
Poseidon: *hands Ares the isopod*
Ares: *looks at the isopod as if someone just gave him the world's most fragile human baby* ..............................
Zeus: .....so....what do you think?
Ares: .....I gonna go and put this giant aesthetically pleasing cockroach in Athena's bed. :D thanks uncle Poseidon. *Straight up leaves to do just that*
Poseidon: You see, he loved it!
Zeus: He called it an aesthetically pleasing cockroach.
Poseidon: I don't care at least he's having f-
*suddenly Athena's loud screams and yelling could be heard along with Ares hysterically laughing*
Poseidon:........
Zeus: ......... E-
Poseidon: Do be quiet dear brother.
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thanatoastie · 21 hours ago
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Artemis: dad, I'm ace
Zeus: OH COME ON, WHY DON'T I HAVE ONE STRAIGHT CHILD?
Hephaestus: Zeus, I-
Zeus: ONE WHO IS NOT A DISAPPOINTMENT
Ares: well, -
Zeus: AND THAT I ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGE AS MY CHILD
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Hyacinthus: Do you want to know your gay name?
Apollo: My gay name?
Hyacinthus: Yeah, it's your first name--
Apollo: Haha. Very funny, Hyacinthus
Hyacinthus: *gets down on one knee* --and my last name.
Apollo: Oh... Oh my gods.
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