Ares:it's ok to ask for help!
Apollo: you're not a burden!
Dionysus: murder is ok.
Hermes: you're feelings matter!
Hermes:...wait
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Hera: WHAT DID YOU DO!?
Anything that is sentient: Your husband.
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Poseidon: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.
Poseidon: And I started thinking.
Poseidon: Like, it was just trying to get food.
Poseidon: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck?
Amphirite: Are you ok?
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Ares: I'm jealous of anyone who don't gotta put up with Hera's attitude she just asked me to put away the dishes like wtf
Hera: it was your laundry- you never listen to me
Ares: can't hear you over my anger issues bitch
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Zeus (to Hera 80% of the time): How dare you accuse me of something I actually did!
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Odysseus: Do it or you're straight.
Achilles: *Loud gasp*
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Gods: Percy Jackson. You shall be blessed with immortality!
Annabeth: Impossible. He wasn't even blessed with brains!
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Apollo: Okay guys, lets just hug this out.
*Artemis, Apollo, Hermes, and Athena struggle into a group hug*
Artemis: Who took my wallet?
Hermes: Sorry.
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Agamemnon: I never considered you a rival.
Achilles: I never considered you at all.
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Poseidon: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea taste different if you put it in hot water
Athena,*slowly puts down her book*: Y-You were putting it in cold water....
Poseidon: ....
Hera: Poseidon. Answer the question. Poseidon!
Poseidon: Yeah I thought for like 5 years that people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. Didn't realize there was an actual reason.
Everyone: ....
Poseidon: You think I have the patience to boil water?
Dionysus: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes????
Apollo,*grabbing him*: Why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it?!
Dionysus: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?!
Apollo: It takes less than a minute!
Hermes: BESTIE IS YOUR STOVE TOP POWERED BY THE FUCKING SUN?????
Apollo: HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO BOIL A CUP OF WATER ON THE STOVE!??!
Hermes: Like 7 minutes!
Dionysus: *nods*
Apollo: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes less than that and you use a saucepan.
Zeus: HA- You're putting the whole mug on the stove?????? on medium heat???? You're stove is enchanted!
Athena: Every single person in this room is a fucking lunatic...
Demeter: Do none of you own a fucking kettle!?
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Poseidon: oh no
Zeus: what is it?
Poseidon: an angry wife is coming towards us
Zeus: mine or yours
Poseidon: does it really matter?
Zeus: Well, if it's Amphitrite we might survive, but if it's Hera, we're totally dead.
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Loki: You know, the other Asi treat me the same way humans treat the gods.
Hermes: How?
Loki: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
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Apollo: *crying* It was so hard! I couldn't take it man!
Artemis: *patting him on the back* Yeah life can be hard sometimes.
Apollo: Life?
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Odysseus: What's up with Achilles? He has been laying on the floor for like.. an hour now?
Breises: He's a bit overwhelmed
Odysseus: And why is that?
Breises: Patroclus smiled at him
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Greek gods and their mottos:
Zeus: Justice above all.
Hera: Loyalty is the key to harmony.
Poseidon: Life is like the sea, you can never know for how long it will be calm.
Hades: The reason you don't enjoy life is because you are afraid of death.
Hestia: Keep calm and carry on.
Demeter: Don't underestimate someone because they look calm.
Ares: Never judge a book by its cover.
Aphrodite: Love is a bird, she needs to fly.
Apollo: The sexiest language someone can speak is the motherfucking truth.
Artemis: Women can do everything.
Hephaestus: Ugly outside, beautiful inside.
Athena: Knowledge is power.
Dionysus: Rage on or go home.
Hermes: Being talkative is nice, until you start lying.
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