#gratefulness

[imaanoverdesires]

"Your thinking about what you missed should not prevent you from being grateful for what you have."

Shaykh Dr. Muhammad ibn Ghalib al 'Umari

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#islam #islamic #reminder #muslim #gratefulness #gratitude #quote #quotes

[poetry-rivers]

I am standing on the dunes in the heat of summer and I am listening

to mockingbird again who is tonguing his embellishments and, in the distance,

the shy weed loving sparrow who has but one soft song

which he sings again and again and something somewhere inside

my own unmusical self begins humming: thanks for the beauty of the world. Thanks for my life.

Mary Oliver, "I am Standing" from Evidence: Poems

#mary oliver #poem #poetry #to reread #mockingbird #gratefulness #gratitude

[adhamabbas]

I didn't expect to recover from my second operation but since I did, I consider that I'm living on borrowed time. Every day that dawns is a gift to me and I take it in that way. I accept it gratefully without looking beyond it. I completely forget my physical suffering and all the unpleasantness of my present condition and I think only of the joy of seeing the sun rise once more and of being able to work a little bit, even under difficult conditions.

#al-dod #journey #henri matisse #gift #gratefulness #healing #illness #joy #operation #suffering #surgery #strange #sunrise

[kamala-laxman]

Everything is a gift. The degree to which we are awake to this truth is a measure of our gratefulness, and gratefulness is a measure of our aliveness.” ―David Steindl-Rast, 

#David Steindl Rast #gift #gratefulness

[terracemuse]

#Buddhism #start new year #gratefulness #kindness #forgiveness

[celestie0]

no bc at the end of the day we get to sleep. always keep that in mind

#positivity #gratefulness #positive vibes #motivation #motivational #inspirational #anti depressants #hope #peace #love #livelaughlove

[cissy-side-thoughts]

Thankfulness 10/19/23

Three things I’m thankful for today…

The sapphic chemistry between Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy in the Max animated tv show, Harley Quinn.

My old middle school music teacher, who’s a motherly figure to me. She always knows what to say, and she’s always open to give me a hug 🥰

My old Studio Art teacher. She’s a straight shooter whose advice never fails to give me some insight and wisdom. Love her dearly 🥹 (another mother figure heh…)

What three things are you thankful for today? 🤍✨

Tagging: @0--ares--0 @tenderheartgrumpymind @rrcenic @dopenightmaretyphoon @dianneking @v3nusxsky

#cissy side thoughts talks #what are you thankful for? #i want to here you #show your thankfulness #i’m thankful #thankfulness #thankful #grateful #gratefulness #daily thankfulness

[a-path-by-the-moon]

#gratefulness #motivational #heart #positive #energy #miracles #life #inspiration #inspirational #dreams

[angelosearch]

Hooray Tumblr is letting me post this now!!

The following is a super intense, probably too personal essay about trying to process the overwhelmingly GOOD news that I got into grad school.

I wasn't sure about posting this, but ultimately, it is a story about never giving up, because you never know where you will be in a couple of years. So maybe this will help someone who is struggling with feelings of being trapped in their own lives.

It can get better, and it will.

I look at my life right now and I am so overwhelmed and grateful. I get to be creative every day. I am writing again. I am always learning new things about art and psychology. I have a lovely home and amazing husband and great dog that I cherish. I have met some incredible people that, now that they are in my life, I never want them to leave.

And now I have gotten into grad school.

It all seems impossibly fantastic and I wonder what I did to deserve this. There is also a part of me that is curious when I will mess it up, but in this big tangle of emotions I am feeling, I am trying not to dwell on those.

There is a cord of sentiment that is thicker and wrapped around the rest. Something that I can't put a name to, but it has a color the shade of something thankful. Every time I twirl it around my mind I start to tear up.

It is the feeling that I am living a life I never could have imagined in my darkest days and I am just... so so so happy I am still here for them.

In the winter of 2020, after a life-long battle with mental illness, I gave up. I didn't try to give up, I actually gave up. It is only by some kindness of the universe that I am still here to type this post.

Suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary question--but the problem is, when you spend a good portion of your life haunted by depression and trauma and a voice that tells you that you have nothing to offer the world, the question does not seem temporary. When I became unable to imagine an escape from a job that made me feel worthless, a chronic illness that put me in pain and left me in isolation, a blanket of guilt I could not shake, and a global tragedy with no end in sight, I took my own emergency exit. It was like jumping out of the window of a burning building on the 32 floor. I believed I would die either way, but the fall to the ground would require less suffering.

I was lucky enough to be caught on the way down - but I didn't feel lucky. They wanted to put me back in the building, and now the fire was hotter and had consumed my furniture.

I woke up in a very poorly run psych ward. So poorly run, my husband did not know where I had been taken for 18 hours after he called 911. I was given a roommate who was way too much like my mother, and I slowly became manic without the knowledge of the staff. They discharged me a few days before Christmas.

I had been hypomanic before, but I never had a word for it. When I was crying at the sunset that night and feeling so energetic and happy (and telling the funniest jokes I had ever told, from my skewed perspective), I just thought I was happy to be alive. But I didn't sleep. I couldn't sleep. My pressured speech and grandiose ideas scared my husband and I ended up in psych ward #2 (a much nicer one). I had to spend one night in the ER screaming and hallucinating, believing my heart would give out before I'd fall asleep, before I got there, though.

They called it "manic psychosis." I called it "the darkest timeline."

On Christmas eve, I was given the gift of a new diagnosis: bipolar disorder. I was too unstable to know what that meant or to conceptualize that the burning building was crumbling in some parts.

On the day I was discharged, I slept very little and was extremely lethargic. I had trouble moving and my assigned counselor had to prop me up to help me to his office. I don't know why they discharged me when I had to be taken downstairs in a wheelchair, but they did.

I was in urgent care not 24 hours later when I could no longer walk or sit up, and I even had trouble speaking. A nice EMT, who I remember had a name that included two US presidents, though I don't recall which, took me to my third hospital in two weeks. By time I made it to my room, I had trouble swallowing and was put on a liquid diet.

It is hard to say what the worst part of this terrifying saga was. However, laying in that hospital bed with no ability to regulate my body temperature, stuck awake and unable to move with relentless, restless, manic energy, without so much as the relief of distraction from the picture on the tiny hospital TV because I didn't have my glasses, was excruciating in ways I still have trouble coming to terms with. I watched a lot of basketball, I think, by the squeaky sounds of the shoes.

After being assaulted by a frustrated nurse on New Year's Eve, I laid in my hospital bed wishing for the release of sleep while hospital staff hooted and hollered distantly for the ball drop. 2021 had begun and I was in the darkest place I had ever been.

When I could eat by myself again and manageably push around a walker, I was discharged on a rainy January day. No one could say for sure why my strange, temporary paralysis happened. Could have been the benzos I had taken too many of. Could have been the adjustment to the Lithium that would chase away the mania. Most likely, it was the sloppy transition off of Effexor at the first psych ward.

I was finally back in my burning building. I was fired from my job as soon as I had the strength to hold a phone. I had to explain and apologize to friends and family who were stunned and afraid of my actions. And then January 6th happened. In a few days, I would have to start physical therapy and a Partial Hospitalization Program (group therapy school).

I looked at my disintegrating surroundings and thought they expect me to fight for this? Why? I wished I had been successful in my attempt but I had only succeeded in making my life harder.

I guess those who cheered me on could see the possibility of my happiness and success, but I had a lot of trouble catching a glimpse. I went to another psych ward at the beginning of 2022 and ended up in a residential care facility for Halloween and Thanksgiving that year. I had two different jobs, both I ended up quitting for treatment. I tried group therapy and different therapists. I switched medications countless times and even tried Ketamine therapy for a while. Up until April of 2023 (when I started EMDR) or so, it really all felt hopeless, but for some reason, I fought for the unknowable just beyond the horizon. I kept asking for help.

And now I am here, and I can't believe all of this almost didn't happen.

I look around my office and see pieces of art I would have never created. I would have missed concerts and weddings and road trips. There is so much music I would have never listened to! I would have never rediscovered my childhood passions and learned how to be myself. I would never have met some very important people in my life.

It almost never happened, but I was given a second chance.

I have so many feelings right now, some good, some bad. I am excited. I am anxious. I wonder if I can handle the challenge and I fear my bragging or arrogance. But the biggest feeling is my desire to go back in time and hold a version of myself that couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and kept walking anyway.

Now we get to chase our dreams, and teach other people to hold on like you did.

#personal #personal essay #Tw: suicide #tw: sucidal thoughts #writing #essay #gratefulness #bipolar disorder #bipolar mania

[that-one-girls-blog-posts]

you ever had a moment where you were like THANK GOD that one shitty thing happend to me cause if I hadn't learned the lesson that way, something even worse would happen to me!! cause we really gotta be grateful for that kind of protection

#aa #spiritual guidance #advice #gratefulness #healingjourney #divine protection

[kamala-laxman]

 Be grateful for your life, every detail of it, and your face will come to shine like a sun, and everyone who sees it will be made glad and peaceful. Rumi

#rumi #gratefulness #life #peaceful

[aplaceforyoutoheal]

Take a breath

#appreciate yourself #appreciate some other stuff #connect to yourself #it's what keeping me sane #self love #self care #meditation #mindfulness #gratefulness

[namitha]

The day unfurls gracefully, I am enveloped in a vibrant energy that fills me with profound happiness, resonating deep within my heart. Gratitude overflows within me for this precious new day, for this very moment in time.🌻

//Friday 21stJuly//

7:56 am

.

#gratefulness #new day #radiant energy #happiness #embracing life #moments ofjoy #vibrant day #positive vibes

[quietflorilegium]

“Look at it this way. You’re still a child, and you can’t earn your living or look after yourself properly. When you were younger, you could do it even less. All children are the same. So the law says that someone has to look after you until you can do it for yourself—your guardians in your case. And there’s another law which says that when you drop a stone it falls to the ground. Are you grateful to that stone for falling, or does the stone ask the earth to be grateful?” “I—oh—” David felt there was something missing from this. “But people aren’t stones.” “Of course not. And if people do anything over and above the law, then you can be grateful if you want. But no one should ask it of you.”

Diana Wynne Jones, "Eight Days of Luke"

#diana wynne jones #eight days of luke #mr wedding #david allard #odin #gratefulness #dysfunctional families #family dysfunction #social contract #children #raising children