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#grad school is making me mad
stupid-dyke · 1 month
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I can tell i am now experienceing actual real sleep deprivation and not just the omnipresent idiopathic hypersomnia fake sleepiness that my stupid lying body never shuts up about. I can tell because I am fallijng asleep in class regardless if I take my medication and I feel like everything is so, incredibly stupid and horrible, and everyone giving me homework or telling me to do anything is attacking me. And I can;t hold a conversation. And people are noticing my strange manner and pointing out that I seem wrong. And yet here we are AGAIN I have AGAIN stayed up late AND not gotten any work done. And on top of that I broke my fucking glasses tonight because I left them sitting on my fucking bed. And I'm freaking my parents out by crying over the phone and also I think I actually injured my shoulder last week its been hurting for four days now. and I'm so sad and mad at myself for not sleeping and not working but I can't work because I havent slept and I cant sleep because I havent worked. And every single time I get in a bad time like this my dad worries im going to die because i was suicidal for like a week in 2019 and then he gets mad at me for worrying him and I feel so so so guilty. Im so so sad.
#and I dont want to fuckign sleep even though i really need to and I spend every fucking seconf of every fucking day being sleepy#because even when I get enough sleep im still FUCKING sleepy so what is the FUCKING point. Why not just NOT FUCKING SLEEP.#Im so fucking sick of myself and my body and my pain and my stupidity.#AND ITS SO STUPID BECAUSE HERE I AM MISSING ALL MY ASSIGNMENTS SCARING MY FAMILY WEIRDING OUT OTHER STUDENTS AND MAKING MY PROFS HATE ME#BECAUSE IM FUCKING SLEEPY. stupidest fucking sounding reason on earth to have a fucking crisis.#no one ever hears me say im sleepy and thinks oh thats really serious i really want to help you now its literally just annoying to ppl#haha wait til you have kids or get older or a full time job ha ha#cool I am fuckign terrified of the future because I know how mad everyone gets at me when im too disabled to do what im supposed to#and I know its going to get to a point where I can't and there will probably be no one left to help me. I'm almost certainly going to outli#outlive my parents and my sister and even if i ever get married ill probably also get divorced so I'll be all alone#friendships aren't safe becuase you can love someone so much for 5 years and she just tells you one day she doesn't want to be burdened#by you anymore and you never hear from her again#its a dark scary fucking world and you want me to be passionate about a field of study or something?? jesus christ can you all just fuck of#I dont want to go to grad school i dont want to work i dont want to live alone i dont want to live with my parents forever#my head hurts so much goodnight guys sorry for ranting its literally fine im literally just really sleepy sorry for being melodramatic
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tamayokny · 8 months
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i think i may be started all three classes tomorrow instead of two and if so i'm gonna kms.
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cappurrccino · 5 months
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nothing makes me want to start a riot quite like doing student loan exit counseling and seeing all the different ways they're going to fuck me over because i can't immediately repay all $12k the exact instant i'm no longer in school
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brittle-bold · 5 months
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nellectronic · 3 months
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someone needs to bully me into working on my thesis
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sometimes i think about in-state community college tuition and feel so angry about my out-of-state (public) grad school tuition. i paid like $270 total last summer for a three credit course at a community college. i currently have tuition due for spring semester of my grad program and i'm enrolled in two credit hours more than i was in the fall, and now my (max amount) federal loan doesn't cover all of tuition and i owe $1,390. for two more credit hours.
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weenie-wizard · 20 days
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Pro tip for US citizens, you can go on LegiScan and read any proposed state legislation, past or present.
Keeping up with what your representatives are actually doing with their power/authority can help you to take more informed action for advocacy!
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starlightswait · 5 months
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me knowing i don’t get consistent enough work from [redacted] to feel so bad/absolutely spiral when i make mistakes vs. me absolutely feeling that way anyway.
like. i’m not even employed by them! the money i make from this, while i appreciate, is a) not consistent and b) not enough to like, Live In A society on its own. so i KNOW i shouldn’t be so pressed about this but. hhhhh
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i need a full time job SO bad
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Gonna talk to my professor after class about my trash ass grade after class today let's hope I don't get dragged for doing this a month before the semester ends ✌🏾
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tamayokny · 1 year
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i need to give my blog a makeover again but idk what i want right now
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thisismeracing · 7 months
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Charles + medical au(?) + Fluff comfort
Medical | CL16
⸺ Charles misses you and he won't measure efforts to see you. ✓ mentions of injury.
⁕ one word, a thousand stories blurb night (closed) ⁕ my masterlist and my taglist
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It was a slow day at the clinic, much like every Wednesday, you come to notice. You were super tired from the routine you've come to get used to, early classes during the morning, then study sessions to get your studies done before rushing to the hospital three times a week, the other three days you went to the clinic, an opportunity you got with a friend to experience a bit more of the medical field.
And though it was great for your grad life, it was actually hard for your love life.
You've been dating Charles for almost two years now, and he was always very supportive of your career, much like you were with his. He would make time, and plan cute dates whenever you were together and free at the same time, and when your school would let you, he would fly you to be by his side.
With the added internship at the clinic, it got harder, and you haven't seen each other for almost a month now. He was busy with racing, Ferrari meetings publicity stuff, and you were busy with school and internship.
So Charles decided to surprise you at the clinic where you were working that Wednesday after he got some days off. With the help of Pierre, he faked an injury to get there and find you. He had everything planned perfectly, he only forgot that you weren't the only person working there, and he found himself too deep on his lie back down.
That's how he found himself in the small individual side of the emergency room waiting for a doctor to collect his blood and run some exams. If Pierre was there he would be laughing his ass off at the fact that Charles was about to let someone have his blood taken, just for the sake of his surprise.
Thank goodness though, he didn't have to get that far, because you were the intern assigned to take his blood, and the second you turned the corner and saw the mop of chocolate hair your eyes went wide.
"Omg, Sharl, are you okay?" you ran to his side in the blink of an eye, holding his face between your hands and frantically looking for signs of sickness.
Charles gave you a toothy grin, "surprise!"
"What do you mean surprise?"
"I mean surprise, as in surprendre!"
"I-" you dropped your hold on him to put your hands on your hips, attentively looking at your boyfriend.
"Don't be mad. I just wanted to surprise you," he smiled. "And I talked with your boss, she just forgot to tell the guy at the reception and the nurse that it was a fake sickness, they almost drew my blood and ran tests on me," he ranted and Yn laughed.
"You're lucky I love you and missed you like crazy," you whispered before smashing your lips together in a loving kiss.
Charles held you close finally feeling at home after a month away form you.
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― ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: I hope you like it babesss <3 Don't forget to reblog and leave me a comment *mwah*
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babydollmarauders · 5 months
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COUSIN — MEDIA MANAGEMENT: BONUS EDITION
au masterlist
y/ndevils00
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liked by jackhughes, lhughes_06, and 579,824 others
y/ndevils00 hi, people are more than a little confused and beginning to get suspicious and i’ve even seen a few baseless rumors about me floating around, so i’d like to clear the air;
to most people, this is ✨Sidney Crosby✨, the 1st overall pick of the 2005 draft, and captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins.
to me, this is my older cousin, Sid (or Father Sid, as i like to call him, but he says that makes him feel old… as it should, because he is.)
i haven’t been extremely open about my relation to Sid, particularly because: do you know how many embarrassing stories this man has to tell about me? but also because i’ve never wanted people to look at me any differently. i’m just y/n, and to me, this is just Sid.
but i’m about to get a little mushy. for as long as i can remember, Sidney has been my rock, my best friend, and my protector. a little fun fact for you guys, i moved in with Sidney when i was 14. sick of life in Cole Harbour, and missing my Sid, i attended high school in Pittsburgh. i did homework at Pens practices, i played high stakes games of old maid with Geno, and i got grounded by Sid for sneaking out (and usually got ungrounded by the next day because… who can stay mad at THIS face?). Sid was the first person i told about thinking of going into social media management in the NHL, and he was also the one who told me to go after my dreams and never let anyone tell me i couldn’t.
when i was born, Sidney, at 14, immediately took his role as big cousin a step further. in his eyes, i wasn’t just his little cousin, but a second sister. and 22 years later, he says i’m the reason for his gray hairs (you’re welcome!). i couldn’t have asked for a better cousin, big brother, and father figure all wrapped up in one.
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user66 JACK HUGHES IS DATING SIDNEY CROSBY’S COUSIN?!
jackhughes you were the cutest child, and i’m so glad you love Sidney. but it’s still a bit weird walking through our apartment and having his grad picture hanging up in the hallway
y/ndevils00 that sounds like a you problem <3
jackhughes i’m taking it down
y/ndevils00 YOU WILL NOT!
jackhughes you’re not here! you can’t stop me!
user27 AWWW LITTLE Y/N WITH COUSIN SID 🥹
user83 i thought she couldn’t skate?
y/ndevils00 i can’t, that’s why Sid is picking me up 🥲 that was the first, last, and only ‘skating with sid’ i ever did— he gave up on me pretty quickly
jackhughes i can’t say i blame him
y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes aren’t you supposed to love me unconditionally?
jackhughes not yet, we aren’t married
y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes and who’s fault is that?
trevorzegras i’m never forgiving you
y/ndevils00 oh god, what did i do?
trevorzegras YOU TOLD HIM TO PUSH ME
y/ndevils00 i did not! you’re spreading lies on my name 🤧
trevorzegras HE LITERALLY PUSHED ME AND SAID “Y/N SAID TO DO THAT”
y/ndevils00 well he’s old and senile and didn’t know what he was talking about
john.marino97 i’m telling him you said that
y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 tell him. i’m not scared of him!
y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 YOU ACTUALLY TOLD HIM?! HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?! I’M PRETTY SURE HE JUST GROUNDED ME?? AND IDK HOW BUT I KNOW HE’LL FIND A WAY TO SEE IT THROUGH
user15 y/n getting getting grounded by Sid even at 22 and no longer living with him is so… 😭😭
jackhughes i’ve been recruited. give John your phone for the next 24 hours
y/ndevils00 NO!
jackhughes okay, then iceberg goes in the microwave
y/ndevils00 NO! YOU CAN’T DO THAT! HE’S A PENGUIN, HE HAS TO BE COLD! DON’T MAKE HIM GO THROUGH GLOBAL WARMING
jackhughes he’s a stuffed penguin…
y/ndevils00 can you just give me 20 more minutes? 🥺
jackhughes 20 minutes and then you hand it over
user07 “my sid” oh look i’m crying 🥹
ryangraves27 Crosby told me to tell you to give John your phone?
y/ndevils00 RYAN!! MY SWEET VAMPIRE BABY!! I’VE MISSED YOU!!
ryangraves27 1) i’m older than you. 2) i’m still not a vampire. 3) we text every week and you saw me tonight after the game.
y/ndevils00 aww you’re still just as stoic and bland as a piece of white bread 🫶🥹
ryangraves27 just give John your phone, please. i’m begging now.
y/ndevils00 aww even your begging is boring!
user64 but… does that mean her last name is Crosby?
y/ndevils00 indeed! y/n Crosby! can you believe Jack never caught onto the fact that i’m related to Sid until i TOLD him AFTER we started dating?
jackhughes HEY! i wasn’t gonna assume! Crosby isn’t a super uncommon last name! and i’m not the only one because nobody else on the team has just assumed you’re related to him either!
y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 ah, yes, Dawson fainted when he found out!
dawson1417 I DIDN’T FAINT! I TOOK A NAP!
y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 whatever you have to tell yourself in order to keep your dignity <3
dawson1417 YOU TEXTED AND TOLD ME RIGHT BEFORE MY PRE-GAME NAP BEFORE MY FIRST GAME AGAINST THE PENS??
y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 and then in your 8th game against them, you got your first hatty!! and i was so proud!!
user90 HUGHES X CROSBY COUPLE— WE ALL KNEW JACK AND Y/N WERE A HOT AND POWERFUL COUPLE BUT OH MY GOD
e.malkin71geno Miss you little one always
y/ndevils00 i’m always missing you, uncle G!! and missing Nikita even more!!
e.malkin71geno Crosby say give your phone to Marino
y/ndevils00 well you can tell Sid i said he’s not the boss of me anymore!
e.malkin71geno try me, kid - Sidney
y/ndevils00 shit, no, nevermind
user39 NOT Y/N GETTING CROSBY TO USE SOCIAL MEDIA ON GENO’S PHONE IN ORDER TO THREATEN HER
lhughes_06 still kinda bizarre tbh. how did Sidney Crosby have a hand in raising your wild ass
y/ndevils00 his routines are what made me this way!
_quinnhughes how?
y/ndevils00 @/_quinnhughes they’re how i learned that i prefer chaos and fun <3
edwards.73 YOU’RE A CROSBY?!
y/ndevils00 yes??
edwards.73 SO A CROSBY IS SCARED OF ADAM FANTILLI?!
y/ndevils00 DON’T SAY HIS NAME, YOU’LL SUMMON HIM
adamfantilli i promise i’m nice! you met me this summer, you know i am!
y/ndevils00 LUCA SAID YOU BITE
jackhughes so do you? constantly.
john.marino97 Sid introducing me to you 4 years ago is both a blessing and a curse ♥️
y/ndevils00 AWWWW THAT’S SO SWEET
john.marino97 now give me your phone
y/ndevils00 see you guys on saturday 😪 guess i’m going on a 24hour phone detox
user74 BYE! I’LL MISS YOU TOMORROW!!
john.marino97 and i won’t! finally, silence on my instagram!
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gejo333 · 3 months
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An Unexpected Match X
Pt. 1 Pt. 11
DBF/DILF Miguel O’Hara x female reader
Summary: Disagreements about children…and…you have to read to find out.
Wc: 5.5k
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The gentle morning cold of the February wind combined with your warm cup of coffee was a perfect balance, as you stare out at the Nueva York skyline from the patio of the apartment.
Since leaving the night of the holiday party, you and Miguel decided to stay for a month in the apartment, in hopes some of the heat of drama has settled down, and also hopes that Sofia would give up.
The month of January with just you, Miguel and Gabi has been a dream. Going out to dinner when neither you or Miguel felt like cooking. It was a perfect routine after the holiday break was over. Majority of the time you and Miguel would drive Gabi to and from school, which was closer back to the neighborhood, but it was a nice drive. Luckily soccer season had not started yet, as you weren't sure if you or Miguel were ready for the judging stares of the neighborhood parents.
Sometimes when you had to go to classes early or the same with Miguel and work one of you would drive her.
Today was a Saturday and the day you were going back to the house. Of course you loved that house, holding already so many memories since you moved in 7 months ago, but if only you could just wipe away the rest of the neighborhood, and stay in the perfect bubble of the O'Hara family.
Another thing that has been happening this past month was Miguel trying to bring up the topic of children. And of course every time he has, you have been lucky enough to avoid it.
Yes, you do want children with Miguel. To give Gabi a little brother or sister. Maybe both. But In a few years, after your done with grad school and start your career. Of course your argument can be easily proven wrong at the strong baby fever you've been having lately. It definitely didn't help when one of Miguel's coworkers, Peter who came to drop something off and had brought his baby daughter Mayday with him. While the two were talking you watched over Mayday. Of course Miguel saw how much you loved spending time with her, and as soon as Peter and Mayday left he brought the topic up. And lucky for you, Gabriel had called him on his phone.
You sigh as you watch your breath, cold enough to see it. Two arms wrapped around your waist as you felt a familiar head rest on your shoulder before bringing you against him as he gently kissed up your neck, before turning your head and placing a gentle kiss to your lips.
"Good morning, mi amor. I didn't see you in bed this morning. You usually only come out here this early if something is on your mind."
You set your cup of coffee down on the table before turning around to face him. Still in his arms you rest your head on his chest, as he rest his head on top of yours. Something you both know calm each other down.
"A few things actually. About going back and having to face everyone. Hoping to god we never see Sofia again. Figuring out how to pay for my last semester at school. And well... the other thing, I feel like we might get into an argument over." You lift your head to look up at him. His brows furrow and a small frown forms, curious about your last sentence.
"You think so? You can tell me, cariño. I'd never get mad at you." Miguel caressed your cheek as he gave you a smile of reassurance. He was right, even the little disagreements you have gotten into in the past, neither of you have ever gotten mad at each other. Maybe a little annoyed, but a quick make out session or fuck usually made the annoyances go away.
"It's about kids. I know you've been trying to talk to me about it for a while now."
"I've noticed you've been trying to avoid that conversation. Is there a reason why?" Miguel chuckled as he put some of your hair behind your ear to see more of your beautiful face.
" When I tell you my answer I don't know if I can handle seeing the disappointment in your eyes." Tears brim the corners of your eyes, which Miguel sees right away as he gently wipes them away.
"Mi amor, please tell me. Please don't cry. It breaks my heart see you upset." Miguel puts both hands on the side of your face, caressing your cheeks and wiping any stray away tears.
"I want to have kids. But not for a while."
"For how long?" You can see the nerves build up inside him, even though you could see he was trying to hide it from you.
"When I'm 29, maybe 30." You bite your lower lip, nervous for his answer.
"So, almost a decade from now?"
"Yeah..." Your heart ached as you could see the pain in his eyes.
"Can I ask why so long from now?"
"Starting my career. If I got pregnant now it would be a lot harder for employers to hire me. It's wrong. But it happens. And I want to go to grad school and I just don't know if I could do that and have a baby. I just don't know if I can balance starting a career and have a baby at the same time. That's why I thought after a couple of years I can handle both."
"I've seen your resume, hermosa it is very impressive. so is your transcript. You have a really good chance at getting hired at Alchamex. And women are treated very well there. They receive great maternity leave. If you worked in my department your boss, Jess, my coworker currently is pregnant."
"Is she 21?" You give him a deadpanned look.
"Well, no. She's 33. But even if she was your age. There would be no difference."
"Miguel, I would be an intern. And the interns are highly competitive with each other there. Oh and by the way, how would they react if they found out that the head of Alchemex's Genetics department is the boyfriend and baby daddy to my child. They would think I slept my way into getting the position."
"Well first off, you would be my wife by the time it happened. And second off, you know you would get the job because of your qualifications not because of me."
"Is this turning into a proposal?" Your eyes widen, chuckling lightly.
"Well, not now. But I love you y/n. I do attend to marry you one day."
"And I love you too Miguel. But don't change the subject. Are you ok with my answer about kids?"
"A decade is a long time. By the time we had one I'll almost be 50 and Gabi would be 15."
"Well, when did you think we were going to have more kids?" You cross you arms as you look up at him.
"I thought maybe by next year we would have a baby." Miguel brushed his fingers through his hair, out of his face.
"So you mean me getting pregnant right after graduation? Miguel that's really soon. It's too soon."
"Well 9 years is too far away. Can we compromise at least a bit?"
"Can we wait to have this discussion after I graduate? Please." You look up at him as you wrap you arms around his neck, pushing your body against him. Miguel wraps his arms around you.
"I know what your doing, hermosa. Trying to distract me from the topic." Miguel looks at you slightly annoyed but with a hint of lust in his eyes.
"I am. But can we please talk about it later. I know this is going to go in an evil cycle at the moment. And it's Saturday. I don't want to get in to an argument today."
"Alright, cariño. We'll talk about it later. But please think about it though."
"I will. Please think about what I said too."
"I will." Miguel leaned down and kissed your lips which you happily returned. You both walked back inside the apartment getting ready to head back.
Everything was packed into the car as you carried a sleepy Gabi in your arms.
"Thank you for packing the car, Rick." Miguel handed the doorman a $100 before getting into the car, while you strap Gabi into her car seat before getting into the passenger seat.
The drive back was in silence, obviously this morning conversation weighing heavily on both of your minds.
By the time you drove down your block you saw an unfamiliar car in front of your house. When Miguel pulled into a drive way, " Maldita sea!" he swore under his breath. You look to him before looking ahead and sigh in frustration. "You have got to be kidding me." (Damn it)
Waiting in your drive way was no other than Sofia.
"Stay in the car." Miguel looked over to you with worry in his eyes, before he turned to look at Sofia with a glare. He gets out of the car and walk towards Sofia. He had closed the car door so you couldn't fully here their conversation, but you could tell that Miguel was getting more frustrated the more Sofia stood there with a care free attitude.
"Mama?" Your eyes widen and turn around as you see Gabi was awake.
"Hi baby bug. How did you sleep?"
"Good. Are we home?"
"Yes, we are sweetie."
"What's Papa doing? Why is that lady there again?" Gabi pouted as she saw her father having a yelling spat with that same strange woman. You saw her begin to tear up. "Oh baby." You quickly get out of the car and make your way to the back as you unbuckle her from her car seat. She balled as she wrapped her arms around your neck. You run her back and whisper in her ear saying, "everything is ok. It's ok baby bug."
Hearing his daughter crying Miguel turned around to see you consoling her with worry and fear in his eyes wanting to know what happened.
"She woke up to you outside the car, and got scared with what's happening. You need to leave Sofia. Your making Gabi upset." You shoot daggers her way, to which she rolled her eyes.
"She's a kid. They cry all the time. I doubt it's because of me. Her mother." Sofia said as she tried to walk up to you to get to Gabi, but you stepped away as you turned Gabi away from her. Miguel stepped in the middle protecting you and Gabi from her stepping any closer.
"Leave Sofia. You have no right to be here. And stop saying your her mother. You're not."
"I'm her biological mother. I have every right to have her in my life. And I'll take you to court to prove my point." Argued Sofia.
"Sure take me to court. I have enough money to fight you. But I have enough evidence to say you didn't want her. Even now you barely care about her. You're upsetting my daughter. Now leave."
"Ugh, whatever. But I'm not done here." Sofia rolled her eyes as she walked back to her car and got in before driving away.
Both you and Miguel's attention went back to Gabi as she still was crying in your arms.
"Come here princesa, I'm sorry you had to wake up to that. Everything's ok now." You briefly gave Gabi to Miguel so that he could console her.
"Papa has to pull the car into the drive way. I'm going to give you back to Mama, ok?" Gabi nodded, still pouting as Miguel gave her a kiss to the top of her head before handing her back to you. You kiss the top of her head as you wiped away the rest of her tears.
"Hey, while Papa parks the car in the garage, what are some things you want to do for your 6th birthday party next week." You say, as you unlock the door to the house and walk inside. A smile graces your lips as Gabi perked up slightly when you mentioned her birthday. While Gabi went on an adorable tangent of different things she wanted to do for her birthday party, you looked at your surroundings, happy to be back.
You head to the living room where you sit on the couch with Gabi still in your arms as she begins to calm down and return to her cheery self.
"Can we do a princess super hero theme?" Gabi raised her head from the crook of your neck as she looked up at you, face tear stained.
"Of course we can do that. I'll start coming up with some ideas and I'll show them to you."
"Yay!" Gabi yawned as she rested her head against your chest.
"Do you want to take a nap?" You asked her which she nodded slightly against you. You smiled as you stood up from the sofa and walked upstairs to her bedroom to tuck her into bed.
When you went back downstairs you heard Miguel in the kitchen. Entering the kitchen you hug him from behind as he drank his coffee. As you rest your head against his back you felt his muscles shift as he move his arm.
"¿Dónde está Gabi?" (Where is Gabi?)
"She got tired after crying so I laid her down in her bed to take a nap." You could tell he was still annoyed, not just at the argument with Sofia but also with you.
"Miguel. I was thinking of what you said earlier..." You felt him tense slightly as he turned around to face you. You saw hope glisten in his eyes. You glance away from him as you move to face against the island counter, contemplating your next words.
"Cariño?" Miguel moved behind you as his hands rested on your hips, encouraging you to turn around to face him, which you did as you looked up into his reddish brown eyes.
"What about 5 years? When I'm 26."
"Is there anyway I could get you down to 3 years?" Miguel added softly with a slight hesitation in his voice. Your gaze shifted from his to the fridge.
Three years? That's wasn't that far from now. But maybe you should consider it. It's not like he's not able to support you. But the thought of being financially dependent on him bothers you, brings chills up your spine. It would make you feel like you were using him, even though that wasn't the truth. You sighed. Maybe you will be doing well with a career in 3 years?
You look back up to him, a smile coming to your lips. "Sure, three years." Your answer brought a wide smile to his face as he leaned down and placed a kiss to your lips. The kiss began to get more heated as Miguel lifted you on to the counter, settling himself between your thighs as he continued to abuse your lips.
"Can we go to our room?" You huff out a breath of air, lips swollen slightly. Miguel nodded as he lifted you from the counter, large hands cupping your ass as you wrap your legs around his waist. Your lips smashed against his as you wrap your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss.
The tension and stress between the you both of you didn't get you upstairs as you pass through the living room Miguel decides to lay you on the sofa, with him over you. He pressed his lips to yours, "thank you for compromising, hermosa. You'll be an amazing mother." Miguel said as he kiss down your neck to his shirt that you borrowed this morning as he unbuttons it, throwing it to the ground when it's off of you. He loved it when you put on his clothes.
"I know you'll be an amazing father. You're already such a great one now." If eyes could physically turn into hearts that's what Miguel would look like after your words, as his heart is filled with so much love for you.
His lips moved down to your now bra less chest as he latches on to one of your nipples. A moan escapes you as you comb your fingers through his black curls.
You help pull off your leggings, knowing that if you didn't get them off sooner you knew Miguel would rip them off as he has in the past. Miguel helped you pull them off before ripping your panties off. In the past you would get annoyed by it, but now you always by them in bulk. Cause no matter how many times you tell him to just take them off, his sexual urge to be inside you always makes him forget, or not care. But seconds after they are off your forget as you feel your self get stretched by his large girth.
Your hands move on to his shoulders as they lightly claw his back. "Fuck baby, you're tight. Relax for me, cariño."
You felt your pleasure course through your limbs,  now relaxed as you slightly move your hips to gain friction, signally for Miguel to move. He removed himself until the tip before thrusting completely into you with the snap of his hips, making you gasp out a moan.
As Miguel continued his assaults to your pussy he lifted your hips, gaining a new position inside you. You clamp your hand over your mouth to quiet your moans. You felt every one of his ridges move against your gummy walls, while his tip hit your g-spot continuously. Miguel removed your hand from your mouth as he held both of your wrists above your head with one of his.
"No mi amor. I want to hear your beautiful voice." Miguel groaned as his forehead pressed against yours.
"B-but Gabi." You managed to let out.
"It's fine, she's all the way upstairs." Miguel kissed your lips as they moved down to your neck as he began to suck against the sweet spot, letting out another gasp.
Miguel's pace quickened as he continued to ram into you. He was fucking you so hard you thought you felt your insides become messed up. Miguel looked down towards your torso. He felt his cock grew harder as he saw himself physically stretch out your insides.
"Fuck, I can never get enough of this amazing pussy. I can't wait to see this belly swollen with my children. I can't wait till you bare my children, mi amor. Te quiero tanto, hermosa." Miguel said in your ear, making your heart swell with love.
"I love you too, Miggy. So much." You felt your core twist in a knot before releasing, as you moan out loud from your climax. Not long after Miguel thrusted deep inside, balls slapping against you as he spills deep inside you, making your inner walls white and filling you until it starts to spill out of you.
He pulls out as he took a deep breath, placing a loving kiss to your lips before parting as his forehead rested on yours.
After resting on the sofa after your love making Miguel lifts you from the sofa and carries you to the master bathroom, where he turned on the Roman-size bath.
When it was ready he carries you into the water, where he found a place to sit and rested against the wall of the bath resting his arms on the sides as you rested your back against him. You both stayed there in perfect silence, showing small affections of love with kisses and  small loving touches until fatigue took over your body as your eyes closed falling asleep.
—————————
Two days before Gabi’s birthday
“Yay! We’re here!” Gabi cheered as she helped the popular cartoon gift bag in her hands as she ran up to the front door of the house.
You and Miguel smiled down at her excited attitude. Today was one of her close friends birthday party, sadly it was at Ms. Johnson’s house. The woman always got on your nerves, as she tried to flirt with Miguel every second she could. And in front of you too. Of course, no one knew you two were dating. This was your first appearance as a couple, so you were curious if she soul try to do the same thing.
After Gabi rang the doorbell the door opened revealing your favorite person.
“Ah the O’Hara’s and Y/n. How nice to see you again.” Ms. Johnson said with a the most fakest smiles, it took all of your will power not to roll your eyes. She welcomed the three of you inside as Gabi wandered off the the backyard where the rest of the kids were.
With a hand on your lower back you and Miguel followed Ms. Johnson to the living room where other parents talked while sipping on cocktails and eating snacks. When you both entered many parents stared, one whispering to the other, “I can’t believe he’s with Sam and Sarah’s daughter. I’m shocked they even showed up here.”
“I know. Especially after what went down at the holiday party. He’s so attractive. He could literally have anyone and he chooses this girl?”
You tried your best to pretend you didn’t hear the conversation as you kept your smile on your face. The audacity of some of these people. They should just mind their own damn business.
“Would you care for any drinks? Y/n are you old enough to drink?” Smiled Ms. Johnson as she looked at you.
“Yes I am. Maybe you had two many glasses of wine since you can’t seem to remember my age. You should slow down.” You smile as you hear Miguel trying to stifle a chuckle along with a few other people in the room.
“I’ll get you two a glass of wine.” Ms. Johnson smiled before leaving the room.
Miguel leaned down to whisper into your ear, “We’ll have a glass of wine and then we’ll say we have to go to another event for my job.” You turn to look up at him with a smile. “Sounds like a good escape plan.” Miguel returns your smile as he leaves a kiss to your cheek.
“Hey, so like what is it that makes you interested in a guy like Miguel. He is like over a decade older than you.” Said one of Gabi’s classmates dads as he walks over to you.
“Ryan, you can’t just say stuff like that. It’s rude.” Scolded his wife next to him. “I’m sorry about him. He’s had a few too many beers.” She chuckled.
“No, but I’m serious. Cause like y/n your freaking hot. Why be with a man so much older? Yeah ok, Miguel you keep yourself in shape man. But like, I just don’t get it. Like I’m 6 years younger than you Miguel, yet I don’t have a young hot babe beside me. Ah, maybe it’s the money.”
Your eyes widen from his words.
“You listen here. You’re lucky there are kids around us or my fist would be in your face. If I ever here you disrespect my girlfriend again, you’ll deeply regret it.” Miguel got into the man’s face sending him a deathly glare as his voice turns into a serious tone. Giving the guy a slight scare he raised his arms up in surrender as he moved away from Miguel.
“Maybe it’s best if you and Ryan leave.” Said Ms. Johnson as she came back into the room with two glasses of wine for you and Miguel. How you so desperately wanted to drink this glass in one swoop.
The couple left to your relief, but you still weren’t comfortable as he wasn’t the only one thinking that same thing about you and Miguel.
After talking with these unbearable people for a hellish hour, Miguel finally decided that it’s time to go.
“We’re going to head out. We have another event to go to.”
“Aww alright, well I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Ms. Johnson smiled flirtatiously towards Miguel wondering if he was picking Gabi up up after the sleepover.
“I am actually. So I’ll be seeing you tomorrow.” You smile as you take Miguel’s empty wine glass and hand her both of your glasses. He smile faltered before being replaced with a fake one.
“Perfect. Well…I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
“Until then.” You return her fake smile before you and Miguel left the living room to give Gabi a quick goodbye before you both left the house.
Walking a block from the house you say, “oh god, was that unbearable. I swear these people are just like on drugs or something, this neighborhood is just so nosy and rude!” You laugh, hysterical from the event.
“Yeah, that was pretty bad in there.” Miguel chuckled before he silently snuck up on you and lifted you up by the waist, wrapping his arms around you before placing a big kiss to your cheek. You let out a laugh as he continued kissing your face and neck. “Miggy, wait till we get home.”
“I can’t help myself mi amor. Now that our relationship is public I want the whole world to know how much I love you.” Miguel kissed your lips one more time, before setting you down. You intertwine your fingers with his as you hold his hand walking the rest of the way back home.
———————-
The day of Gabi’s birthday
“Good morning baby bug! Happy Birthday!” You smile as you sit on the bed beside her.
“Here is a first gift out of many princesa.” Miguel handed her a new stuffed kitty cat animal. After sitting up Gabi hugged the stuffed animal. “Thank you Papa! I love it! I’m going to name her snowball!”
“Such a cute name for a cute kitty.” You smile as you brush strands of hair out of her face. Miguel lifted Gabi out of bed as he hung her upside down on his shoulders.
“Oh no Gabi, the house turned upside down!” Said Miguel as he walked her out of her room and downstairs towards the kitchen.
“Papa, I’m the one that’s upside down.” Gabi giggled from her fathers words. You chuckled along with them as you followed them down to the kitchen where a stack of pancakes topped with berries and whipped cream smiley face and finally a candle.
When all three of you entered the kitchen Miguel flipped her right up and sat her on the kitchen counter chair.
“One last thing.” You say as you get the lighter to light the candle. Once lit both you and Miguel sing Happy Birthday in Spanish before she blew out the candle.
“I wished for everything to stay at it is.” Gabi smiled as she swooped a strawberry in the whip cream and ate it.
“I couldn’t agree more princesa.” Miguel smile as he kissed the top of her head.
After eating together as a family, Miguel went to go get ready for work as he needed to attend an early meeting.
“Ok my two favorite girls. I’ll see you both after work and we’ll celebrate your 6th birthday at your favorite restaurant, princesa.” Miguel walked back into the kitchen in his suite.
“Yay!” Gabi raised her hands in excitement. You chuckled as you saw her face was covered in whipped cream and syrup. You grab a wet cloth and wipe her face before kissing the top of her head.
“Goodbye princesa.” Miguel kissed the top of her head as Gabi wrapped her arms around his neck to give him a small hug.
“Bye bye papa. Love you!”
“Love you too.”
He then walked over to you as he wrapped an arm around your waist pulling you against him as he gives you a loving goodbye kiss.
“Goodbye cariño. Have a nice day with classes. I’ll see you later.”
“Goodbye. Have a good day at work. I’ll pick up Gabi from school.”
Miguel looked at you and Gabi one more time with a wide happy smile before leaving.
The entire work day was chaotic as he had no time to take a break until now.
Miguel smiled wide as he entered the luxury store. He gazed around before his eyes darted towards his main mission here.
“Welcome Sir. How may I help you?” Said the stores salesman as he greeted Miguel with a welcoming smile.
“I’m here to buy an engagement ring.”
“Wonderful! We have a great selection. What’s your price range?”
“Can I see your most valued rings?”
The store clerk eyes widen and smile grew bigger, “Of course. Follow me this way. We keep our nice items in a private room.” The salesman gestured for Miguel to follow him.
After some time and looking through a vast amount of rings, Miguel eyes landed on the one. The one you knew would be perfect. Because you were perfect. And you deserved the best.
“This is the one.”
“That’s an excellent choice Mr. O’Hara. That’s one lucky woman.”
“I’m the lucky one.” Miguel smiled as he held the ring in his hands, so small compared to
his large hands. Just like your hands when they’re intertwined in his.
“Thank you for your purchase. Please feel free to reach out if you have an questions or concerns about your purchase. Have a nice day.”
“You too. Thank you.” Miguel left the store, stopping a few feet away to open the box and look at the ring again.
His phone went off. Miguel rolled his eyes thinking it was work as he close the ring box and put it in his coat pocket before he took his phone out of his pocket. The number calling was unfamiliar, but he press the green button, deciding to answer it.
“Hello?”
“Hi. Is this Mr. O’Hara speaking?”
“Yes. Who is this?”
“This is Nueva York Medical. You were listed as Ms. Y/n L/n emergency contact?”
“Y-yes.” Miguel’s heart stopped before rapidly beating against his chest as his stomach dropped.
“She was in a car accident.”
————————————————————————
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 4 months
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Hi there! So, I'm (26) in a relationship with a typical guy (27). I'm bipolar, on meds. My friends at grad school have been weird since we started dating and outright hostile to my boyfriend. I finally asked them why, and my friend who I've always respected to be the voice of reason said that the relationship was abusive. I asked them why because he's never been abusive, and they said it was because he was a neurotypical dating a neurodivergent woman and there's a power imbalance? Is this true?
hi anon,
this is huge for me: I don't think I've ever had anyone send in an ask where the answer is "you need an entirely new group of friends."
here's the thing: unlike your friends, I understand that you're an adult who's capable of making decisions and deciding which relationships are good for you!!! which isn't to say that adults don't unwittingly find themselves in abusive relationships all the time - they do, it can happen to anyone! - but if the ONLY red flag that your friends can point to is "he's neurotypical and you're not" oooooooooooh my god go to hell???? incredibly infantilizing of you and dehumanizing of neurodivergent people in general. fuck off fuck off fuck off. throw the entire friend group away, this is disgusting.
like this is. this is literally just the faux progressive way to say that you don't think neurodivergent people (which is, for the record, an incredibly nebulous category that's nearly impossible to put hard and fast definitions on) shouldn't date "normal" people! get fucked! sorry I can't put my usual chipper sex witch spin on this, this just sucks and makes me actually sincerely incredibly mad. christ.
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therecordconnection · 5 months
Text
Some Thoughts Regarding James Somerton
I know I'm rather late to the conversation and some of these points may have already been talked about in some form elsewhere on the site, but if you don't mind, I have some thoughts of my own regarding the subject of hbomberguy's latest video and I would like to take time to voice. This blog is normally dedicated to music and music writing, not posts about disgraced Youtubers, so I apologize for the detour in regularly scheduled programming.
First, I think it's important to make the distinction that Somerton isn't just a case of "problematic Youtube guy got owned... twice" but rather a genuine case of academic dishonesty, which is several grades above youtuber drama. This isn't something like Tati Westbrook getting angry at James Charles for sucking dick and cock at a birthday dinner. This isn't Ethan Klein and Trisha Paytas or whomever having beef. It's not Charlie Critikal talking about some stupid drama of the day or someone just using Youtube videos to say a bunch of gross and problematic stuff. No. This is a fucking grifter who not only lied, cheated, and stole his way to the top, but also did it by using a vulnerable community that has long had their voices snuffed out and their history completely rewritten or wiped from existence altogether. What history he didn't plagiarize, he twisted and outright lied about. He just made shit up to suit his own gross agenda.
A lot of things about James Somerton left me absolutely livid, and I admit that I didn't even know who he was until hbomberguy's video. I think what makes me the most mad is that I went to undergrad and grad school with a number of jackoffs that were just like him. People that didn't give a shit about the art of writing and research and just treated academia and the pursuit of knowledge and how to critically engage with art and media into a stupid game that only chumps take seriously. Somerton pisses me off because I AM a writer. When I write the Ranting and Raving series of posts on here, that stuff doesn't just fly out of my ass. I have to sit with a song, study it, research it, and make sure I know what I'm talking about so I don't look like a clown. I also have to make sure that I link and credit where I'm getting information from. It's not just important for my own satisfaction, but it's important for anyone who stumbles upon a post on this blog and takes time out of their day to read it and/or reblog it.
I think that's the part that makes me the most mad. That he and Nick Hergott have so little respect for the work that goes into researching and writing about a topic that other people are really passionate about. Spending time with something, studying it, and figuring out an interesting and unique perspective on it is a great feeling. Sharing what you find or how you see something with others and having them either like or reblog your work is an even greater feeling. That's my writing that somebody enjoyed and thought was worth sharing with others. Fuck fuck fuck Somerton for thinking you can take a million little shortcuts to get to that result.
While I'm on the topic, I don't think Hergott gets a pass for Somerton's actions. I've seen some people make the argument that he isn't complicit and there's a chance that he genuinely had no clue that Somerton was doing this... but I don't buy it. There's no way he didn't know and wasn't in on it in some capacity. Even if he wasn't, as Todd in the Shadows pointed out in his video on this situation, Nick is, whether you like it or not, an accomplice to Somerton's lies and he is complicit in the blame, due to his name being included in the "Written By" credit of a lot of those videos with Somerton. The way I see it, I find it hard to believe that he couldn't have known. I imagine part of Hergott's signing on with Somerton was that in the event that shit hits the fan, Hergott would be used as a fall guy to help deflect accusations of plagiarism.
To return to Somerton, in a way, he's almost worse than AI/Chat-GPT because, really, an AI has no morals. It can only do what someone punches in and tells it to do. Somerton is a guy who does have genuinely insidious ambitions and knows fully what he's doing. That shit about "only the boring gays who didn't mess around in the eighties survived the aids crisis" is the wildest and grossest accusation I've seen about gay people in some time. The wild takes about the Nazis (especially all the wrong things he said about fitness relating to Nazis) should also raise a lot of red flags. I'll say this though, I don't blame anybody in the slightest for not fully realizing Somerton was saying shit like that or doing all of what he was doing until hbomberguy and Todd presented it a certain way and made it all very clear. It's easy to not notice it when Somerton buries it by ripping stuff off from other, better writers. So, if you were someone who was a big fan and was genuinely shocked by the things Todd had to fact-check and debunk and worried that you're a bad person for having not caught any of them, trust me, you're not. Nobody should blame you for not catching it. <3
While I'm ranting about this, I want to say that Somerton's patreon grift was really gross to see exposed as well (through Dan Olson's really great thread, which can be read here). I understand the allure of wanting to buy expensive gear and thinking that's somehow needed in order to make Good Content™️, but there's a stark difference between someone saying "I think I need to shell out a little money in order to get something of higher quality" and "I need to have the appearance of looking like my stuff is being made with high quality stuff." As someone who has been experimenting with trying to turn his writing into video, I did some audio tests this weekend and realized that maybe (just maybe) the old Turtle Beach microphone my brother left behind when he moved out isn't going to cut it. If I want to record something I can be happy with, I'm gonna have to bite it and look at getting something decent, but somewhat affordable from a Best Buy or something. You don't need the best tech in order to make something great, but you can't use copper tools forever if you have the means to be able to enjoy using iron ones, you know?
Somerton's grift reminded me of guys like Onision and Spoony. Grifters who looked to Patreon and other creator donation sites for an easy pay day and would bitch and cry and complain that it's your fault when they don't get it. Somerton making poor financial choices ON TOP of it being money that he scammed from a community of people that were looking to invest in a voice that they genuinely thought was speaking for them in a meaningful way, only makes the grift more disgusting and foul. Even if he's just "some Youtuber," Somerton still had a responsibility to his audience to present queer topics in an ACCURATE manner. He didn't and we all have the right to be angry with him about it. This isn't just silly youtuber controversy, this is academic dishonesty in it's purest form and if it gets you expelled from any college program, it should get you expelled from being able to show your face on Youtube as well, which is how Somerton's story will end.
I've been on the internet for many years. I've seen some of the worst, most problematic creators of all time find a way to bounce back from all kinds of controversy and find some kind of success again. I don't think that will happen for Somerton. Not one bit. What he's done is something you can never come back from, no matter how much you try to reform. If two different youtubers can make two completely different videos about why you suck, I don't think there's any recovery. What happened this weekend is a now classic episode of World's Most One Sided Fist Fights Caught on Film.
This post has gone on for a while, so let me wrap it up. I mean this without hyperbole and without exaggeration: James Somerton is a disgrace to both media criticism and the art of video creation. I genuinely hope he remains propped up as a cautionary tale of what can happen when you fully decide you have absolutely no respect for the Humanities and decide that lying, cheating, and stealing your way to the top, all while scamming and being incredibly shitty towards a community that has long suffered and is STILL suffering greatly to this day, is better than any kind of academic honesty. I understand that Somerton is just "some youtube fraud" to some people, but the problem lies more in what Somerton's actions and motivations represent. I really think hbomberguy's video on plagiarism is going to do a lot of good. It's going to help a lot of people avoid doing it as well as help people become more aware of what it really looks like and all the damage it can do.
Thank you for your time.
P.S. It doesn't really need to be said at this point, but make sure you support the queer voices and writers that did the work Somerton thought was good enough to just copy and paste into a video. They're the ones that suffered the most through all of this and my heart goes out to them, from one writer to another. <3
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