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lawful-evil-novelist · 7 years

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So Let’s Talk About Jon as a Teacher in Lawfulverse

So Jon started teaching at Gotham University while he was getting his Doctorate, mostly undergraduate psychology classes.

Jon’s introduction to students was simple, since he was in his mid-20s and didn’t look all that different from the students, he put waivers on each desk and sat in the back with the class’s textbook in his hand and sunglasses on, basically pretending to be asleep.

The waiver was for an experiment he ran in every class the first month while he was getting his doctorate so after the first few semesters he stopped putting them on the desks, but I digress.

When the students were all in class and wondering where the teacher was and why there was a waiver on each desk, he’s stand up, throw the textbook at the board in the front of the classroom, and then march down to the front of the room, stand on the desk, and go, “I’m Jonathan Crane, we’re here to learn things.”

Some other notable things that happened were:

He kicked open the door one day and walked in with a jar full of beetles screaming “I GOT THE FLESH EATING BEETLES FROM THE ENTOMOLOGY DEPARTMENT FOR OUR LESSON ON FEAR REACTIONS WHO’S AFRAID OF INSECTS I NEED A GID”

He stopped the lecture because a cockroach ran across the front of the room, pointed at it, and went “She’s pregnant”.

Came in hungover and informed the whole class he wasn’t paid enough to come in sober every day.

Brought in a mass of maggots he found on campus while walking to class in a wooden box and told the students, “If you have a strong stomach you can look at what I’m giving the entomology students today.”

When asked why he’s not an entomologist replied “Your horrified expressions are about half of what’s interesting about bugs.”

Practiced his doctorate study of paranoia on his classes.

A girl once began freaking out because a spider started crawling across her desk and Jon picked up the spider and put it down outside, then walked back in saying “That was a fiddleback, they’re deadly.”

He purposely set the desk on fire in every class at least once.

He was dating Harley for two of the years he was teaching and occasionally Harley would come in with some random baked good to give to Jon and he’d immediately let out a high pitched “OH THANK YOU HONEY” and just keep teaching.

Regularly started lectures with “We gon learn some shit.”

Made a student stand in the corner when he said “we get to learn about crazy people right?”

Did a running jump onto a cockroach.

Walked into class wearing sunglasses that said “BITCH” across the lenses and then explained, “I got my eyes dilated this morning and my girlfriend gave me these because I didn’t have a pair. I love her so much.”

Came in with a giant water cooler and said “Ok I have a migraine so we’re watching a documentary about the Stanford Prison Experiment today.”

Once came in without a shirt and when asked what happened replied “My girlfriend spilled coffee on her shirt.”

Brought in a bow and arrow and put it down on the desk and said “My best friend shot an arrow at me so I took the bow away from her and now I think she’s trying to poison me.”

But I’m sure what you all want to know about is the gun incident that cost him his job. See Jon regularly brought the gun in anyway, the students knew about it and knew it was full of blanks and that Jon almost never fired it. But one day Jon noticed a kid in the back sleeping and fired the gun towards the ceiling.

Just as another professor was walking by.

So there was a full inquiry where it came out that Jon brought the gun in a lot and they would’ve let him off with a warning if it hadn’t been a regular thing but it was so they fired him.

There was actually a huge protest when Jon was fired because both the psychology department and the students really liked him as a professor and thought that the administration was being unfair.

#headcanons #gotham rogues headcanons #lawful-verse #lawfulverse #jonathan crane

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