#good. keep worrying<3

[sysig]

i want to go on a big and elaborate date with papyrus SPECIFICALLY bc of the way u draw him bc he’s so bbg cutie patootie

PapyrACE 💚💜 Happy Valentine's Day!

#DDoodles #UT #Papyrus #AroAce Papyrus Supremacy #Lol #I'm actually really delighted to see how much aroace positivity there is around the skelebros :D #I was a little on the worried side since y'know - Sans especially. I've been in the fandom for a while lol I'm Aware #But genuinely there's so much lovely energy towards the bros being aroace which I - unsurprisingly - am very inclined towards lol #Me constantly: And you're ace! And you're ace! And you're ace! Ace for everybody! #I'm tongue-in-cheek about my Projecting Constantly lol but I do try to base my headcanons on The Actual Text haha #I think Papyrus is kind of a no-brainer lol he literally turns you down if you go on a date with him that's pretty textual #And you have the option to completely avoid going on a date with him and he still clarifies platonic affection! #I like him very much haha <3 #As for Sans I know some of it stems from my Handplates filter lol - their codependency points to an interesting interplay with romance #I'll start thinking about the Vargas Dating Sim again if I keep on that train of thought tho lol #But to me it feels more than just ''He's too busy'' or w/e - Feels Different #It's all speculation anyway haha - I'm glad you like how I draw Papyrus! :D He's the sweetest boy and I love him!! #Wanted to try something a bit Extra hehe ♪ I keep wanting to make animatics and the like! #Storyboards - animations if I can swing them lol - but I'm very impatient :P And perfectionistic >.> #So have something a bit more sloppy and silly :) It's good practice for me! #All told it wasn't too bad! :D I had fun making it and I'm fairly pleased ♪ #Hope you enjoy hehe <3 Happy Valen's! :D

[lavender-temult]

Hey psst I redrew the thing :3

#tumblr keeps fucking with my colors they look so grey here. on procreate they have saturated skin colors i promise lol #also yes I flipped the thing because the original looked really bad when I tried to line it lol #otohan thull #imogen temult #my art #id in alt text #imogen temult x otohan thull #imogen x otohan #imotohan #critical role #should i be drawing so much when i have a lot of hw to do? no. did i draw this anyway? well i mean you’re looking at it so yes #it’s actually not that much it’s like three lil assignments but 2/3 are worth a good chunk of my grade sooo #but it’s fine don’t worry classes are actually going great for once all is fine :3

[baldurs-gate-official]

Ok I just need to vent for a sec because I finished my Romanced/non-ascended Astarion run and gosh

As someone who suffers from severe PTSD... this means a lot to me. I've seen so many characters in media with PTSD where the condition isn't taken seriously/written poorly, or the only 'happy ending' they get is death.

But this... This is nice. The life I've lived is abnormal. I don't talk about it much because most people either wouldn't believe it, or might feel bad just for hearing it. I've survived torture, starvation, attempted murder, and I'm only just coming out of a lifetime of that. I was trapped for ages. Years. So many years. It's made it hard to trust people, or feel genuinely cared for. And being able to play a character on the other side of that, as someone confronted with a person traumatized and tasting freedom for the first time... and being able to help them, despite the difficulties, and get them to a place of safety and happiness is... I don't even know what word to use. It makes me feel hopeful, in a way. Seen. Understood a little.

And his reaction to freedom and safety! While it's not exactly like my own, it's so close. And I've never seen that feeling represented before. Safety is terrifying! Trusting people is terrifying! It feels impossible to believe anyone would genuinely stick with you while you work it all out.

When you go through a life of trauma, there's no such thing as safety. You get so used to the danger that going without it is the most terrifying thing in the world. Your brain and body can't comprehend that there isn't a threat. Before I escaped my situation, I knew there was always danger. I was always prepared for it, I was used to it, and knew how to tell when and how I needed to react. Being scared is familiar. It's a crutch, almost. The fear keeps you alert and alive. But... when the source of that fear is gone, you're left with this horrible feeling that the danger hasn't passed - you just can't see where it's coming from or what shape it'll take.

It's numbing. But a weird numbness. You flip between that and deep periods of, 'Oh fuck oh god, all of that really happened and now I have to pick up the pieces and live with it'.

Seeing someone else going through that, and being able to say the things I wish someone would tell me (and not even realize I needed to hear it until after) feels so good in the most aching way possible.

And the Cazador scene! There's one part at the start that hits so hard:

That last line is everything I wish I could say to my own parents. I was punished for everything. Anything I did was an excuse to hurt me, even something as simple as showing an emotion or reacting to the pain. But when I escaped it all, and my father tried to pull me back, he tried to frame it like he'd done it all for my own good. That I was the one at fault, and failed despite his best efforts to 'help' me.

I wish I had the courage to yell those words at him, instead of trying to keep peace and make myself meek. "Fuck you and fuck everything you've ever done to me". I feel that in my soul. I want to scream it at him until my lungs hurt and I can't breathe.

And his ending... He can't stay in the sun anymore. It hurts him. It'll affect him for the rest of his life. But he has someone who cares for him, who will stay with him despite that, who doesn't view it as a hindrance. I can't even describe how that makes me feel. I have wounds from what was done to me that will never truly heal, and until now I've always thought of it as a flaw that would make me unlovable. As odd as it is... Him not being able to go in the sun makes it an even happier ending for me? Yes, it hurts and it sucks. But... He's not alone. Part of him believes you'll leave him now that he's confined to the shadows. Proving him wrong feels like a final affirmation that, yes, you're really staying with him. It's real, and he won't be alone. Everything will be okay, despite the pain.

Anyways thanks for coming to my traumadump. I really wish Larian would give us more opportunities to hug Astarion.

#BG3 #baldur's gate 3 #Astarion #traumadump #CW PTSD and Abuse #Also #And I have some incredible friends and social workers helping me get through it #I'll be ok. This is the best I've ever been #if you have questions I don't mind answering #it feels good to talk about tbh. and if I can keep people from worrying I will #q

[izanori]

idk who needs to hear this, but if it hasnt already been done i want to clear up some things

Fashion Dreamer is not Style Savvy. BUT. It’s created by Syn Sophia, just like Style Savvy was. So, if you’re still holding out for a title that’s specifically called Style Savvy it’s time to give up, because it’s very safe to assume that Fashion Dreamer is meant to be Style Savvy’s spiritual successor. This may be due to influencers and other internet personalities being way more popular than wanting to run a store among children these days.

so… yea. ^_^

#style savvy #fashion dreamer #its even called Fashion Dreamer in japanese and not Girls Mode so its not a licensing issue or anything #its just an entire new game #im worried about the gameplay #but im assuming itll be like style savvy where you help ppl w fashion dilemmas #but instead of selling them clothes #they ask you for advice because youre trusted in the fashion community #and you pick out clothes for them there #and then as an influencer you also get to model #and maybe collab w companies to design clothes? #and like. Idk. Debut as an idol?? #idk. I think they can still keep a lot of the old gameplay intact this way #theres games where you can model and games where you do hair and games where you do makeup #and games where you run boutiques #but style savvy was the only game that had all of these in one package PLUS a super cute style #and good skin tone options!!!! #and thats what makes it special to me #and now you can be a BOY…. and a GOOD LOOKING BOY!! The boys in the old games were SCUFFED. Except dominic. Dominic was cute #so the only thing im sad abt is i was hoping maybe you could choose from 3 different body types #maybe next console… #cici

[acaciapines]

rotating noelle around in my brain. i need the dess raises kris au to be real RIGHT NOW.

please talk to me about the dess raises kris au i think im gonna explode. also start writing it this summer maybe :3333

#chatter #drkau #posts that need context. basically despite being called 'dess raises kris' neither dess nor kris show up for the first arc of the story lol #it would cover dark worlds 1 + 2 + 3 which i would make up #and its about noelle susie and ralsei being the three closing dark worlds and becoming besties #BUT ALSO so ive always worried id never be as excited about noelle as kris #n thus do her poorly when shes literally like one of the main protagonists #BUT NO. IM GOOD NOW. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IM GONNA DO WITH HER #what do you do when your entire family has been defined by a grief you dont feel. by the death of a sister and friend you dont remember #what do you do when their grief shapes the form of your life and you keep bucking against it #because now youre the baby of the family and everything is On You #and you finally FINALLY find somewhere where you can maybe be someone #only to find out that that world never wanted you either. that world wasnt ever supposed to exist for you #what the fuck are you supposed to do #ANYWAYS NOELLE HOLIDAY-DREEMURR....NOELLE HOLIDAY-DREEMURR I LOVE YOU..... #(ps yes she gets a hyphenated name i wonder what might lead to this....) #(pps no i dont know what kris's last name is in this au skull emoji #chara would take dess's when they get married but dess wouldnt keep holiday (or let kris keep dreemurr) #cause she did. technically. kidnap them oops) #ANYWAYS IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS AU LITERALLY SHAKING IT AROUND LIKE A DOG WITH A CHEW TOY

[thottyoptimusprime]

There's always that one character that gets shipped around in fandoms and I love it so much. In transformers its mostly Optimus Prime or Megatron and any guy they interact with. Batman is fucking the whole justice league. Wolverine has different canon universe's where he's some characters baby daddy. And every time I go into the One Punch Man tag Saitama is a new dudes failure boyfriend. I love it so much.

#keep up the good work people #stronger the marines #most of said ship only have like 3 people but they're carrying it in their back #don't yall worry I'm rooting for you! #transformers #optimus prime #megatron #batman #wolverine #one punch man #and another thing its always the character that has the most interesting dynamics and interactions with the rest of their universe

[spacedlexi]

trying to keep all my clemviminnie thoughts contained until i get to episode 3 but

its hard

#telltale was CRAZY for this btw!! the drama of it all ALWAYS gets me #violet blaming herself for her gf/minnies death. clem helps her open up again. starts dating clem. finds out minnie is still alive? #saved violet telling clem she has nothing to worry about and she'll fight minnie if she has to to keep clem and her loved ones safe #kidnapped violet getting brain poisoned by minnie into turning against clem after feeling betrayed and abandoned by her #saved vi shooting minnie to save clem!!!!!!!!! but cant leave minnie behind because she already left her once and she cant do it again #vi begging minnie to stop trying to fucking kill them but shes too far gone. the 3 of them fight to the DEATH!!! #now add all that to the parallels and dark mirrors going on between clem and minnie in the A plot like the tension is off the charts #plus the parallels you can draw between clem and vi but those are less “you are my dark mirror” and more “we are the same i understand you” #HOW are the girlies not still talking about this #you know what i partially blame myself i dont talk about it enough either. i forget how many things ive left in my wips folder sometimes #UGH its all so good violets route just ads so much Flavor to the clem/minnie plotline its Delicious i couldnt imagine it Not being there #i neeeeeeeed to draw them fighting and being gay and maybe bloody even #if u cant tell i really want to get back to that wip i posted a few weeks ago but im Trying to Restrain Myself #i love forcing myself to take things slow sometimes really makes the brain shift into overdrive #twdg #violentine #it speaks

[aduckwithears]

Unpopular good omens 3 opinion? I don’t want to see Starmaker/Crowley’s Fall. Feels like his business, y’know?

#selfishly I worry I wouldn’t survive #i get that it would be dramatic and answer some questions… #but i'd rather keep letting him tell his own story #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 3 #good omens speculation #good omens opinions #good omens s3 #a duck talks #starmaker #crowley

[altarwaiting]

Actual pretentious people need to take back being pretentious from those on tumblr dot com who think simply calling themselves pretentious makes them pretentious

#personal #like yes u will get a good grade in being pretentious on tumblr dot com if u keep posting don’t even worry about it <3 #like I’m not pretentious but at least I don’t act like I am in the most annoying manner possible 😭

[sysig]

I’m just saying I think he has a type (Patreon)

#Doodles #Wander Over Yonder #Commander Peepers #Sylvia #Black Eye #I guess technically sort of lol #The implication of ♪ The lead-up to ♫ #I read Peepers as bi with a preference towards men and Sylvia his inverse lol #They work well as mlm/wlw solidarity too! Including understanding each other in That Bi Way y'know? #But I do also think that Sylvia is his type haha ♪ All these things can be true at once! Relationships are complex and ever-changing! #I also think it works best one-sided on Peepers' end - Sylvia is busy! And as just stated relationships are complex #Not just in trying to keep a relationship - they do see each other fairly often! - but also in keeping it private to both of their comforts #Being found out by their counterparts would be interesting hehe ♪ Wander would support them of course #Hater would probably be furious even just at knowing Peepers had a crush on her tbh - feeling lonely but also worried about intel haha #He's smart he's not going to go around leaking information like that! If anything he'd probably just be more ruthless to vent his feelings ♫ #''Grop-darn Zbornak with her ability to bench me and stomp me into the dirt >O('' lol #The interpretation of him thinking he's sick over thinking he's romantically entangled is so correct #I also like the thought of Sylvia immediately having a repulsion reaction to finding out that Peepers likes her haha #''He WHAT??'' Wander would probably not help in her coming around just infodumping all his good points that she's not interested in lol #But then seeing him being that perfect little mixture of pathetic and competent that Peepers exemplifies <3 What's not to like about him #They have the right dynamic to get close! They have the potential! Fumbling and awkward the whole way but what other way is there hehe #It'd be so fun to watch ♪ What's there is already so fun to watch!

[famewolf]

speaking of ocd, I think I'm realizing that I truly don't have anxiety and it's literally just my ocd. im not anxious about anything until it involves me and suddenly I'm spiraling

#[static] #it's hard to describe succinctly but the anxiety I deal with nowadays is directly related to my ocd and autism #some anxiety is so easy to brush off but the ones stemming from my ocd are extremely difficult to get out from under #i'll spiral for weeks about one specific thing and ruminate on it and mentally worry and pick at it forever #it's utterly exhausting jfkdghdf some days are easier than others #and often that one thing I ruminate on becomes multiple things all stemming from the first thing #like recently it's been my car ... the thing is totally fine ... runs fine drives fine but ive been freaked out by it for the last 3 weeks #every time i go into the shop theyre like ... everything is good in fact its in good condition for its age and they'll mention like #one thing that will need to be replaced to keep it in tip top condition and then my brain will fixate on it and imagine all the ways #something horrific will happen if that doesnt get changed and then that leads to all the other things in the car suddenly freaking me out #i defs used to have general anxiety and depression but those went away literally the day i got top surgery #poof instantly gone it was wild and i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop #never did but now my ocd has been really bad the last 6 months cuz of all the extra horrifying things going on #so i thought it was just my anxiety coming back but this week i realized it was my ocd and have been treating it accordingly #and ive seen some relief but i definitely need to go back to therapy once i get my insurance again #its the only way to get a hold on it and my last therapist ended up moving states so we didnt get to work on tools for it very much #im yapping at this point i just needed to vent for a second about how truly yucky ocd makes me feel

[pippindot]

Pip hard at work in a sunbeam.

We did a Show n Go today, and did very bad. BUT! it wasn't because she was scared or worried, but because it was warm and morning is sacred Naptime. Hopefully we get it together by SF!

#AND i brought pathetic money #she was very happy working for her toy and we got one good moment with it #but she was the most pathetic little sad looking girl #im still happy she wasnt worried #and i keep a good sense of humor #everyone there is just like 🤷‍♀️ sighthounds #im like i SWEAR she is a good worker as long as it is exactly 70 degrees. #pip #3 years #hvoc

[painterofstars]

tweaking my fursona a bit

#their fur's based off a harlequin rabbit! #chessboard looking creature #i was worried keeping the space wings would make them look too busy but theyre actually so cute #furry #my art #my fursona #good omens #<- sort of. theyre in cosplay :3

[forestofsprites]

i need to learn how to stop caring so much. not in all the ways that matter, just in all the ways that don't really matter at all and yet i still hold myself to

#not about loving or life or complimenting peoples shirts or saying hi or waving or wishing people good days or keeping babies busy while #their parents work out the room key or spending twenty minutes fathoming a tree #that is where my energy should always go #i need to stop caring so highly about every single minute of every single day #i need to stop holding myself to such ridiculously high expectations #i need to stop worrying about seminars that are a week away #i'm holding so much stress in this silly little body #it's exactly how my auto-immune disease was triggered in the first place and yet 3 years on i am sat here #getting worked up in the exact same ways #i need to tone it down because it will very literally kill me #therapy starts again on monday which i'm looking forward to #i just. i have to stop holding all these things #i need to go a week at a time #a day at a time even

[mitamicah]

Meow there 👀👀

Seven weeks on t (sorry for forgetting last week) 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

One day late (me), but thank you anyway :D!!!

#also no worries with forgetting last week :'D #I am still just surprised you are keeping up with the weeks OVO #since I would've think most people stopped really paying attention to each going week after the first month x'D #since most trans peeps I've seen share the few first weeks and then every month x'D #which is why I too have chosen to only really say anything every month now :3 #so in 11 days there'll be the next voice update :3 #until then I've been recording my pitch change through this new app I found #and adding in the data into excel like a little math nerd x'D #off topic but this gif is so good tho OVO? #I live their nose scruncies :'D #replies

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit